#like. there r so many fucking posts of me losing my mind. and I literally don't rmr posting half of that shit

[vilevampire]

I was gonna go to sleep but then I got distracted scrolling thru my #blorboposting tag all the way down to diff fandoms and it really puts into perspective for me how extremely unwell I am. goddamn

[crossbackpoke-check]

about to be sooo nosy so. my apologies. but. morgan frost? girlfriend? do share (or don’t! again this is so nosy i’m sorry)

for legal purposes i can neither confirm nor deny anything about morgan and his girlfriend but afaik i think he’s single right now? at one point (within the past four years 😭) he did for sure have a girlfriend and that is the extent of my wag knowledge

[qraceiuv]

hii can you do singer!reader x jude (ik you’ve done it recently so i understand if you don’t want to 😞) and can the faceclaim be tyla? idk if you let anons choose faceclaims anyways thank uuu!!!! also remember to eat and stay hydrated 🫶🏽🫶🏽 love u

water. jude bellingham.

summary — your new song causes the fans to want more and more content from jude and yours relationship

notes — tysm for this request! love u more bb, i literally had tyla in mind for a new blurb, and getting this made it perfect

warnings — inappropriate jokes? idk + mentions of throw up and such - js some cute lil fluff as usual

_________________________________________

y/nsusername

y/nsusername: 'water' out this friday🩵🐆

—

username: OMGOMGOMG

username: THIS IS SO UNEXPECTED

username: totally not breaking down

username: i need to wife her

username: WHATWHATATWNAN

username: WATER??😭

yourfriend: HOT HOT MEOWWW

— y/nsusername: oh thats

username: her and jude r dating right

— username: yeah it was confirmed like 3 months ago but they dont post much of each other

— username: maybe the singles abt him

— username: I HOPEEE

y/nsusername

y/nsusername: make me lose my breath, make me water 🪩🪞🐆💦

—

username: IM GLING INSANE

username: WTF

username: omg im so proud of her

username: SHES COME SO FAR CRYING

— y/nsusername: 🥹🥹🥹

username: AH AH AHHHH

username: im actually so happy for her

yourfriend: JIMMY FUCKING FALLON

— y/nsusername: JIMMY FUCKING FALLON

username: STREAM WATER BY Y/N

username: MAKE ME SWEATTTT

— username: MAKE ME HOTTERRRR

username: on repeat

username: oh shes gonna eat

judebellingham: 💦💦💦

— y/nsusername: delete immediately

— username: HELP?

username: JUDE IM CRYING

username: judes comment has made my year

username: finally y/njude content (its horrible)

y/nsusername

y/nsusername: tour so far... i love you lovely people and the many helping hands behind the scenes <3

—

username: see you in a week!!

username: i need to go

username: shes thriving

username: getting the hype she deserves

judebellingham: omg you love me?

— y/nsusername: no !

— judebellingham: guess ill turn the plane around

— y/nsusername: HEY.

username: HES ON A PLANE TO SEE HER😭😭

username: GUYS R WE GONNA FINALLY GET SOME Y/NJUDE LORE

username: i love them (we barely know them)

judebellingham

judebellingham: to be proud of my girl is an understatement 🩵🩵

—

username: okay ill cry

username: y/n love club

username: shouldve put 💦💦💦

— y/nsusername: agreed

y/nsusername: 💦💦💦

— jude bellingham: i hate you now.

— y/nsusername: payback

username: adoption papers wya

username: hard launch a lil too late

y/nsusername: i love you

y/nsusername

y/nsusername: my man finally took me out

—

username: KMS KMS KMS

username: FINALLY WE GETTING SOME SHIT

username: make me sweattt... sorry

— username: MAKE ME HOTTERRR

— username: everyone thank jude for this sexy song

yourfriend: i could treat u better

— y/nsusername: i know i know

judebellingham: im gonna do it

— y/nsusername: dont.

— judebellingham: 💦💦💦

username: JUDES COMMENT😭😭

username: theyre actually so cute

username: the banter >>>

username: my man is whipped

y/nsusername

y/nusername: 2M weekly streams on water... kisses 🐆💋

—

username: MAKE ME WATERRRD

username: YESSS

username: literally so deserved

username: im so proud lemme cry

username: MY BABY

username: WE LOVE YOU

username: STFU OMG

username: nobody deserves it more

judebellingham: my popstar

— y/nsusername: my starboy

judebellingham: so proud of you baby

username: BABY?!?!

username: im on the floor rn

username: jude is too lucky

username: im throwing up cuz of them

_________________________________________

[sulumuns-dootah]

NSFW Alphabet - Leviathan

༺☆༻

A/N: Sorry this took a long time. Been a busy and chaotic past month, but I'm working on things so hopefully they'll be ready to post soon. Also, Levi isn't exactly my favorite so I had hard time analyzing and accounting for all the lore we have so far.

⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 

‎‧₊˚✧ 18+ Minors Do Not Interact‎ ✧˚₊‧

༺☆༻

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

If you had an intense encounter, you'd both need it, which is why he calls for his servants to come and care for the both of you. Otherwise, he doesn't mind to do some extra steps to get you comfortable.

༺☆༻

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Our nice piece of ass loves your neck. The loyalty noose would look amazing around it. Or maybe his hands?

༺☆༻

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I'd say his cum tastes like caviar. He's technically a fish too, after all. Definitely the king whose cum I'd enjoy the least. It's also not as opaque, but with a slight shimmer.

༺☆༻

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

While he's having some me-time, sometimes he puts on a noose around his neck and orders himself to hang.

༺☆༻

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

With how rarely he trusts anyone, I'd say he barely has any. He gets the gist, knows many positions, but hasn't tried out most of them.

༺☆༻

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Any position, really. As long as you're strangling him hard enough, he doesn't care.

༺☆༻

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? Etc.)

No jokes here. In fact, no jokes ever. Besides like some special circumstances.

༺☆༻

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? Etc.)

Perfectly silky smooth like the rest of him. There's no room for imperfection.

༺☆༻

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

If he's bedding you, you're already doing something right. I imagine him being super vulnerable figuratively as well as literally with the strangling and all.

༺☆༻

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

His main source of getting off. He can't even remember the last time he's slept with someone. Once you're in the picture, however, that immediately changes and his hands focus onto you.

༺☆༻

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Beside the obvious breath control and getting beat up, he also strikes me as the type that would be into voyeurism as in getting watched fucking someone.

༺☆༻

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Public places are out of the question. The safety of his castle is the only place where he allows himself to get loose.

༺☆༻

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Jealousy, of course. But also public humiliation as long as he sees you as more than just his subject.

༺☆༻

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Share a partner. He'd get too jealous and possessive. Unless, of course, you tie him up as a punishment. HE would actually enjoy that.

༺☆༻

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Force him to go down on you and you'll have one of the best orgasms ever. In giving-head-contest he'd come close second (only beaten by the pussy devourer fly boy). While giving him head, he'd get super whiny and needy. Tease him and he'll lose his mind.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? Etc.)

There's two ways Levi can go. Either he's downright lovemaking with you or the bedroom is a whole ass battlefield.

༺☆༻

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Actually, thinking about the location again... I wanted to say that why have quickies when you're at his castle and have all the time in the world, but thinking about it, If the need arises and you're not in his chambers, he would definitely use his coffin to have a quickie with his partner.

༺☆༻

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? Etc.)

Depending on the risk. He wouldn't mind seeing how long you can hang from the noose, but wouldn't try and introduce lovecraftian horrors in the bedroom.

༺☆༻

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Leviathan's energy is stored in that juicy ass of his and boy, can he go for long time. The thing is, that he will, however, start complaining that he's tired and that you have to do the rest yourself.

༺☆༻

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Levi doesn't really strike me as the type to use toys. His imagination is enough for him. In my mind he's more old fashioned and all these different toys are just a riffraff for him. (Meaning he's too shy to buy some and would be afraid to get caught using them.)

༺☆༻

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh this man *italian hand motion* loves to tease, but the moment you tease back you have no time to react before you're hanging from the ceiling.

༺☆༻

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Whimpers. This man whimpers and it's the best thing you've ever heard (besides Beel's purring). How loud, depends on the situation. If you're on the bottom, some might escape him. But if you're on top, oh boy, all the demons in the surrounding chambers know.

༺☆༻

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Actually, not a hc, but more of an analysis of his H scene that I really want to talk about? Okay, so Levi makes it really obvious that he wants to be beaten and straight up just abused. This just screams to me a trauma response, which is extremely sad to me. The amount of abuse he had to endure to the point where his mind equates it to pleasure just so he doesn't go bonkers?

༺☆༻

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Once again, if you have the Erolabs version, you're lucky to see his sausage in the game itself. I personally agree with the ingame depiction of Levi's dick (unlike certain pierced someone's).

༺☆༻

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Actually, piggybacking off the wild card analysis, I think Levi can go anytime all the time. One of trauma responses tends to be hypersexuality (but I'm not a professional psychologist, so don't take my word for it). We even know about it from the Halloween event where Minhyeok says that Levi looks like he's in the mood despite fighting off angels.

༺☆༻

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Not really a sleep I'd say, but he wouldn't mind snuggling up after some exhausting workout. Just don't get too used to it since he's too busy.

[master-of-stupidity]

Fuck it gonna put all my Tangled rants into a single thread that I'll just continue on if needed-

Oldest to newest btww (also spoilers most of these r about Eugene btw ik ik I'm a lil autistic spare me 💀)

That one part of Bruno is Orange but Eugene coded-

"Did you hear about that Father

Sent his own infant son away

And said "It's to *dangerous* for

you to stay so, I had to *save* you" "

I may be cringe but I am FREE

Yo omg ok so my brother is singin a Into the Woods song while I look at Tangled stuff n it made me remember a scene from the play where Gothel yells at the Prince "Rapunzel can think for herself!" n like- dude Cass said the same thing in Cassandra's Revenge to Eugene! Ooo girlll-

The way I would kill so many ppl if it meant getting a series about Lance n Eugene as kids like broooo imagineee-

Its crazy how like I'll be enjoying my day than suddenly I'll see a post of a mf going "Hey what if Eugene thought he was a yr younger cuz he was like a rlly scrawny kid?" Yeah ok sure n what if I hit u with a *metal pole*

My tangled ocs r so random its hilarious- like it goes from a bodyguard,a greedy businessman,a ringleader,n than that one serial killer who turns ppl into meat pies like how did we get here???? 😭🙏

I just remembered like just a few days ago my brother randomly said "vase" while playing Fortnite n my ass just said "vAHse" just to fck w/ him n like that kinda reminded me of that one scene of Eugene n Cass like damn they were sibling coded frrr lmao I miss em

Wdym there was a scrapped Eugene n Lance childhood episode??🧍And WDYM it's literally everything I ever wished for and more???????? 😃

Would love to see Eugene n Martin Kratt interact solely to see Martin be appalled n slowly lose his mind over how Eugene knows jackshit about animals 💀🙏

I think the Eugene genderbends look so weird to me because none of them kept the infamous goatee like cmon man don't be a coward give that girl some facial hair 🗣🗣

I should not be relating Heather's music to scenes from Tangled the Series yet here we r 😭

Omggg thinking about how Eugene proposing to Rapunzel in tts came from his abandonment issues n him literally not being able to see a life without Rapunzel omgg shut upppp leave me ALONEEE

Literally despise with every fiber of my being how the writers of the shitty Wreck it Ralph 2 movie had fcking RAPUNZEL of all ppl say "Do ppl assume all ur problems were solved just because a big strong man showed up?" They fcking HATEE the movie Tangled *so much* bro istggg

OMFG THE VOICE OF KING FREDRIC FROM TANGLED IS MR. FCKING KRABS WHAT?????

The way I wanna be bold n talk more about the "Over the Corona Walls" ep- esp about Staylan n Eugene n all the icky implications of that but I'm also so scared too cuz I fear ppl won't take me seriously or think I'm overanalyzing too much 😭🙏

Lowkey not over the fact Eugene was willing to trap himself back in an abusive relationship, "leaving" the one person he HAS died for n would die for again, all to save his best friend like bro don't TALK TO MEEEE

As u can tell I am totally normal n not at all ill about Eugene or this show 😁

What if I gave Eugene like- slight wedding trauma after the whole "Beyond the Corona Walls" incident??? I think it'd be kinda cool n in character ngll 🤭🤭

No but that prompt for the unaired Lance n Eugene episode STILL makes me so fcking ill bro stg can't STAND those mfss bro 😭😭

"And if I gave up on being *pretty* I wouldn't know how to be ALIVE" is SO Eugene coded idc idc idccccc

You think if I put Eugene Fitzherbert in The Amazing Digital Circus he'd be a walking dumpster fire considering he needs an identity to function n in TADC u like- quite literally don't have one??? 💀

Was listening to an audio last night n now I kinda wish we knew like- what Eugene's mom was actually *like* in a way considering I don't think her character was ever explored :((

Why is this plushie literally Eugene Fitzherbert omgg I want it nowwww

To the ppl who only see others as their pfps lowkey rlly hope y'all just see me as jester Eugene Fitzherbert cuz that'd be rlly funny n I'd love that 💀🙏 like yes I truly am just Eugene in a jester fit yappin my ass off on twitter dot com LMFAOOO (btw follow me @/theratbatjester)

[artficlly]

ok so i just read show me again and i promised myself I would quit yapping every time you post something but OOOHHHH MY GOD YOU'RE SO GREAT??? I just really wanted to tell you how amazing it was. How seeing Reader's powers (and body, as a whole) being used as a weapon, for fun, just because people who had more power (political and wealth) than her wanted to humiliate her. How she saw herself after, the disgust and the guilt, the fear, how she could feel everything and was unable to forget. Such a great way to explore the lasting feelings of powerlessness of abuse (of every kind), the implications of being a woman holding this kind of power and how she sees herself afterwards, how Bucky regrets saying that stuff to her, how she regains her freedom and control... Masterfully written, really. So sensible and so understanding, so subtle and complex. Two people who were used, abused and weaponized letting themselves feel and being okay with it (and enjoying themselves!!). So, so beautiful. AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!! The visuals were so hot and so fun ooooh I loved the whole chasing sequence and Bucky cleaning her wounds and her noticing he noticed her... okayyyyyy!!!!! now I think my favorite part was when she was just going insane after he put her legs on his lap. literally I was reading and my heart was RACING (you have such a great way of creating anticipation!!!) and when he said "you know super soldiers have enhanced senses right" SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPPPPP I HAD TO PUT MY PHONE DOWN please put ME down that was INSANEEEEE!!! magical sex is SOOOO IN put me DOWN PUT ME DOWN!!! the smut was SO FUCKING GOOD I absolutely LOVE when the dynamics shift a bit and the girl is the one making the guy lose his mind bc in fanfic it's so often the other way around!! and I think in this context, viewing how both of them were controlled before, it works SO well. The banter was INCREDIBLE. This was absolutely delicious, a full course meal. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!! Also pardon my english I was just so excited to scream about this I probably made no sense at all lol

AHHHH OMG.

wtf okay this is so sweet. r we in love? this feels like love.

i looooved playing around w the readers powers (originally it was more like blood bending and the manipulation of flesh n bone, and the i changed it up to be more sensations/nerves based). i just loooved the idea of the power she holds and the absolute trust bucky would have to have in her. plus the parallels between the two of them.

normally my headcanons around bucky's first (silver) arm is that it was somewhat designed to be physically painful for him, due to it's weight and placement. i also looove the headcanon about the scars being from him tryna pull it off. i changed up my headcanons a bit to fit the vibes of this piece of 'feeling vs no feeling', and how shutting out their trauma and bottling up their feelings (and powers) would make them feel worse / isolate them. it was verrry purposeful that not only is the reader user her powers during the sex scene, but that bucky is using his vibranium arm/fingers on her. weapons that are now used for pleasure yk yk.

bucky in this was a lot more confident n kinda commanding than some of the previous versions i've written of him. it was fun kinda having it influence their dynamic where they could kinda switch out who was in control. mutual respect is hot i fear.

btw in true me fashion the wound cleaning stuff wasn't even planned. originally bucky accidentally steps into a bear trap LMAO . i cut it. don't ask.

also i don't usually ?? enjoy the whole 'super soldiers can smell arousal' but bucky was 100% hinting at that during the 'i can hear ur heartbeat' LMAO. i contemplated putting it in the dialogue but decided to leave it ambiguous. but yeah during all of the second half, not only could he hear her heart going crazy, but smell her arousal. do w that what you will.

anyway thanks for this!! i have so many little behind the scenes facts hahaha

[honeyhonest]

ahem. on my laptop now. OKAY SO. THE FIC. I FUCKING LOVE IT OKAY. UGHHHH. the loss of identity, the feeling of sickness and losing your mind, the spiral, the feeling on being not needed, the feeling of being a ghost, a phantom, untouchable, unnoticed, unwanted, because someone else was here before you. not being them but you, and not understanding, who are you supposed to be then. the isolation, the UGHHHHHH YOU DESCRIBED IT SO SO SO GOOD. YOU NAILED THE FEELING SO FUCKING WELL!!!!!!! BLESS YOUR SOUL!!!! god and the idea that the fucking mail room is what brings some sort of sense. "You remember that you're a person, not glass, not meat, not a ghost, and not Them, and you feel your feet stumbling over one another, and you fall." BECAUSE ROLLO IS THE ONE WHO SEES THEM AS THEIR OWN PERSON!!!!! AS NOT A REPLACEMENT, BUT S O M E O N E who deserves sympathy and attention. BECAUSE THE MAILS ARE A REMINDER THE READER IS HERE AND REAL AND THE READER IS R E A D E R!!!!! FUCKING HELL!!!!! MY FEELINGS!!!! the safe haven of being aknowledged and seen. oh my god. crowley being the one to help out of everyone!!!! he IS a kindhearted headmage!!!! still im losing my absolute shit with the way you described the desire to just escape the noise, closing your ears to muffle everything surrounding you because you cant take it, because youve reached your point and the glass was full and tipped over. the metaphor about the sea. holy shit this is insane your writing is IMPECCABLE. the literal shaping. how everyone literally wants them to be yuu. how they try to see yuu in them. UGHHHH throwing up this is absolutely amazing. wonderful. i love this sm. its so much pain and suffering and FFFUCK. I CANT GET OVER IT!!!! the way you wrote the mental breakdown episode. like. it spoke to me very very personally. as i said i teared up. genuinely. reminded a lot of my own experiences. absolute cinema. also i find it so funny that rollo refers to the reader as, well.... READER. thats so so so clever. like yeah. kinda meta. super meta. absolute cinema. the mirroring of yuu and malleus. god save me. actually dont let me indulge in this. rollo the GOAT. loved the sword episode. "...your friend, the strangers." IM SCREAMING OKAY. the oxymoron. the fucking oxymoron. honeyhonest.... claudette your writing... your writing is pulling strings of my soul in the most disgusting the most sensitive way..... adore this holyyy shit. i wonder if the series will be kinda meta because the line about surroundings being kinda familiar but also not in the first chapter makes me think some things. jack pointing out they talk like yuu. ace literally mistaking them for yuu ar first. i really do wonder. i might have a silly theory about the reader being a player and not remembering it so they are yuu but not. really. its yuu who experinced that, not you. despite everything its still you, a person who lived and will never be yuu. or smth. which! would be contradictory to the whole reader not being yuu thing??? ig??? but i just found this interesting in like the most meta 4th wall breaking sense ig. i think thatd be neat as well. a lot of possibilities to explore ig??? also again i love the psychological way you write this. i cant wait for more, you really touch on super complex topics that speak directly to many people, mentally ill or not. its like. comforting but hurts at the same time. i looooove this..... youre feeding us good fr fr. anyways thank you for sharing this with us god its beautiful. im eating up im rereading chapters every time. this one just punched me so hard. this series is my water ok..... brainrot anon.... with love respect and wonder...... this is.... absolute cinema.

hi everyone, I'm going to combine all these asks into one long post so I don't bug anyone with my ramblinggggg. if you aren't into ad perpetuam memoriam then no need to read these!!

I said this yesterday (under the last chapter update) but it always touches me so deeply when people express that they relate to my work- or, I guess, the very specific compliment of "I've never seen this thing I've felt be put into words before" it means, to me, that I'm doing a REALLY good job. I'm not only touching on something that's personal to myself, putting that thing into words, turning those words into feelings, but I'm also reaching out to the reader, hoping that this will speak to them in some magical, metaphysical way, and it does!! it does. which is crazy to me. like wow okay I feel so Real rn

rollo. rolloooo save me. oh I have so many thoughts about him and his place in the narrative and the arc he's going to have that I CAN'T POST ABOUT BECAUSE IT'S SPOILERS! but no rollo never saw the reader as yuu haha not yuu not yuu indeed <3 his parallels with malleus hit home for everyone I see

shhsjdjskd. I love all theories. I love that you say there's so much to speculate on. I HOPE SO!!! I want this to be tight and logical but also unexpected yknow. disorienting. I think we're really going to get into that bread and butter in these next few chapters, which I've finally outlined. I'm sure you'll be pleased with whom I've chosen as our only third year to make an appearance

the idea of being transported into nrc a year after the whole yuu sheenanigans while being th most average the most mediocre the most boring person ever is frightening. like in game yuu is a mediator a beast tamer, theyre sociable and they attract a crowd. in many lines its mentioned that its hard to read their mind and theye not boring of a person and can surprise people a lot. like yeah no shit coming after them is automatic expectations to be on the same level of cleverness and liveliness when youre just. just someone but not them!!!! ima vent a bit sorry about that but as someone who has mental health problems and thus became super exhausted and not very alive because of it, kinda boring and dull+social ineptness and just being a miserable mediocrity its super hard to self insert(and since im trapped in maladaptive daydreaming and escapism i. im desperately self inserting and going insane. mental illness be damned...) into mcs like that!!! because yeah no i just wanna sleep al the time..... but at the same time it makes sense that mcs are someone like yuu!!!! that someone should posses courage and wit to be able to withstand shit like nrc!!!! and when after a person like that, a person who everyone got attached to, someone remarkable and stuff, comes the average if not lower. the dull, the grey, the ghost. not someone as lively or sociable or as fun and clever that youd expect. yeahhh... and when you realise that? when you realise youre SUPPOSED to be the replacement you cant be? that youre a shape not fitting into this puzzle that is unfinished without them and yet you cant fulfill this role? oh this is delicioussss. it gives me so many emotions. like genuinely it speaks to me so much.

I feel like I have this conversation a lot- "why would anyone want to imagine themselves in yuu's place when they could be someone else? it's fantasy, it's an escape from reality. why wouldn't you make yourself beautiful and likable and popular and talented and smart, if you had the chance?"

and I understand this perspective, I really do, but it's so. it's so nothing to me. sure, I want to be all those things. who doesn't? but that's not me. and after reading my 10393th twst chars x reader who is Perfect, I get a little tired of it. it's like, I don't want to imagine myself like that. I don't want to live in this fugue of perfection where everyone loves me. because I'm not that person- I'm not particularly attractive, I'm not very talented, I'm not popping out clever one-liners every other sentence- I'm just. here. and I wanted to write something that spoke to the people who also feel like they're just. here. not particularly good at anything, not gorgeous, not charming, not endearing nor sociable. because life does feel that way- like everyone is expecting something out of you, but you have nothing but yourself

I'm glad that's relatable!

continuation to the last ask: to make matters worse nrc is full of jerks that do not see you as someone worthy of attention as a gust of wind. knowing you are not welcomed, knowing youre not them and will never be them, yet being desperate for the aknowledgement and love and care. maybe its a desire to be as special as the one before you, the desire to feel at place, to feel accepted. they will never see you as not yuu, but you! because they always expect you to be.. yuu. does it make sense?????? idk if im getting it right.... maybe reader themselves doesnt want to interact with people around them?? but i feel like its not just being antisocial or whatever, its moreso about knowing youre not welcome. knowing youre not them and already being denied the privilege of being seen and perceived and not repulsed at. then its better to be a ghost, a nothingness, a gust of wind, a weird mutter in the crowd. even if miserable, because that means youre the person that you are even if you dont exactly understand who, but at least thats you, being seen by your own self. should be enough for now. because at least you dont expect yourself to be them. i love how you captured the feeling of losing ones self as again!!! personal experience, not understanding your identity, the "self" falling out of grasp.... but at the same time not knowing how to shape the self and become the person people need you to be. also reader being apprehensive of silvers kindness and well any kindness because silver supposedly pities them?? and its kinda demeaning?? because like. maybe he himself feels guilty for seeing yuu in you thus his treament of care, trying to be genuine or smth. in the first chapter sebek was like its not them, its a different one(which sounds dehumanizing as fuuuuck, "a different one". its not THEM, a person, its a different ONE, a creature, a ghost). expectation of being yuu. but instead being you. the unnoticed and mediocre, the simplest person, the loner, the ghost. the idea that it mustve been for ruggie to offer help. because youre a ghost! and someone mustve felt pretty bad to notice you, to offer a little bit of attention, because THEY felt guilty, not because they felt sympathy for you. i think thats why you cant trust silvers kindness. also in the first chapter ace being such a fucking jerk! a punch in the gut fr. like this guy deserves a punch. fr. i really cant wait for more im so curious on whats gonna happen next..... ughhh!!!!!! delciious delicious delicious..... yum yum yum...... idk maybe im ovethinking this or actually not thinking enough and misinterpreting things(which im sorry for if thats the case!!!!t.t)..... but i needed to share this.... AGAIN IT GIVES ME LOTS OF EMOTIONS..... i just really love it........UGH.

it does torture me to write these characters- whom I otherwise love- being kind of shitty. and not in the "haha we're evil!!" way they were to yuu, but distant and ignorant and somewhat cruel in their kindness. and selfish, although they're trying not to be- which is the crux of this all. NONE OF THEM are intentionally being mean to the reader, except for maybe ace. all of them are genuinely trying to be kind and thoughtful and helpful, but their relationships with the reader are inherently tainted in a way that can't be undone with simple kindness. their closeness to yuu means that they will always treat the reader as "the other" no matter how pure their intentions are

this is why the characters that the reader trusts- rollo, crowley, and now fellow- are all secondary characters who were not close with the original yuu, so they see the reader as They Are, not who they want them to be (and, bear in mind, the yuu here was CANON!yuu, meaning that they were no older than 16. of course, reader doesn't know that. I've also... vaguely implied that reader is a bit older. sorry couldn't help myself, I think it makes more sense for the narrative and the relationships with the secondary characters. "gee reader how come pomdove lets you have THREE boyfriends?" we all say in unison) and this train of thought has influenced who I chose as a third-year secondary character to come in, in a few chapters, only for a brief cameo, but since he never had a very well developed relationship with yuu either... you get me

so yea. all of their interactions with the main cast are loaded with baggage, which is no way to live

also again i cant stop appreciating the way you wrote the episode. like you delivered so well. im repeating myseld but im so grateful for that because its rare to see represantions of that. its usually either inaccurate kinda disrespectful and just... bad. or nonexistent at all, not aknowledged because only "coooool" and confident and special! people can be a person yknow what i mean. like it super rare to find something as personal as this to someone with a mental illness of some sort. its just. so good. ughhhh. love this. loveeee thiiissss <33333

I love you readers who are fucking crazy and sick in the head <3 uh really I had a moment yesterday where I was like "am I making them cry too much? is that cringe?" and then I was like NO... *I* cry a lot. not unrealistic as long as I make it the gross sick kind of crying that they don't let anyone else see (bar crowley and fellow, as of now)

again I am just so glad that this was something people could??? relate to?? yay! I have a lot of mental problems

im so normal i cant stop spamming your asks it also warms my heart to see silver be referred to as housewarden vanrouge🥹🥹🥹🥹sobbing the cottage life is so peak his dream would be sooooo nice literl disney fantasy..... he's a princess fr

I SO PREDICATED THAT HE WOULD FINALLY BE NAMED SILVER VANROUGE FUCK YEAH MY MIND!!!! breathes a sigh of relief

i really hope we'll meet grim in ad perpetuam memoriam i really do. please please can he treat us normally. fucking hell he must feel SO lonely without yuu:( poor baby bro is literally 5 years old max.

grins but like, in an evil shitty way. yeah grim is going to be a part of the story. Don't Even Worry About It.

[azures-grace]

Requesting info on the 6th house au you were posting about bc yo that sounds cool

You can't see it through a screen but I'm like

Actually physically vibrating.

I came up with this AU over a year ago and it was basically "what if Alexi (my Nerevarine) just. Joined the 6th House instead of killing Dagoth Ur?"

The timing of WHEN she joined has changed a bit (from right before the fight to when she meets Dagoth Gares) and the REASONING has changed a lot (from "I don't actually like Morrowind, fuck them dudes" to "I have 0 support system and have a child and I've been sucked into a cult") but the very very basic premise is the same.

It was initially my crack AU where I couldn't tell if I wanted to ship Alexi and Dagoth Ur or not. And now it has like... Dementia metaphors. How did this even happen.

Anyways, the story ACTUALLY follows Alexi's daughter (who's never been Dagoth Ur's, no matter when in this AU's history you look). Her arc used to be centered around a lot of confusion as to why people hated her, and why things were happening, etc etc. Now she's actually gonna do something about it in the end. I'm gonna have so many random thoughts at the bottom of this just. Smushed in.

It also went from Armina being the one with zero support system to now she has an adopted sister and also a best friend/love interest when she's older. Terastelle Telvanni (sister) save me.. save me Terastelle Telvanni...

Anywho, the story has like... 2 main plots: Armina learning her dad is ✨terrible✨ and Alexi progressing through Corprus and becoming Nerevar (and losing Alexi). I will just say, though, to Armina and Tera, since they're actually IN the cult, Dagoth Ur is not a menacing figure until they know what's going on outside the mountain. I'm writing a scene where Armina literally drags him around. He's not Dagoth Ur to those kids, he's just dad.

Anyway, Alexi holds the Tools of Kagrenac (from the original au) for the most part, and she used them to manipulate the Heart to make sure her children wouldn't get Corprus (side effect was about a generation can't get it because she didn't know how to specify well). Alexi, however, DOES get it, and it leads to her physically and mentally becoming Nerevar, if that makes sense? The way it affects her is it morphs her body to be more similar to his, and it degrades her mind until she's left with only his memories and personality. And her kids have to watch it in real time 👍.

Anyway, back to the main cast: Armina, Terastelle, and Teldryn Sero. The last one was not planned.

All three represent both the main 3 star signs, as well as the Good 3 Daedra, AND they fall into "bad Daedra" counterparts later

Armina is half Bosmer and half Dunmer, and she's the Warrior and representation of Mephala (cause she's in a web of lies) and she falls to Clavicus Vile in a search for power to destroy Dagoth Ur. She fights with a big ol' 2-handed sword.

Terastelle is half Dunmer and half Altmer, she's the Mage and the representation of Boethiah. My violence wins mage <3. She falls to Malacath because of how she's treated in the cult (not as badly as those outside of the mountain, but less well than Armina, because even though Armina isn't a full Dunmer, she's also Nerevar's child, so she gets a pass). Tera gets motivated by vengeance after she learns her parents were murdered by the cult. This goes interestingly for her. Idk if she gets really hurt by it or not, but she's very scorches earth about "no Dagoth survivors" just like how her family had no survivors.

Teldryn is the thief who represents Azura, and he's the only full Dunmer in the gang, but he's from outside the mountain. When he's introduced, Blacklight is the most recent addition to the house. He falls to Sheogorath (seeking a middle ground led him to insanity or something, idk). He fights with pretty much his normal fighting style from Skyrim, which is pretty mixed. I need to develop him more in the context of the AU, but I'll get to that after this.

Anywho, random thoughts now!

As the Warrior, Armina protects the Steed from the Serpent, and Alexi's sign is the Steed 👍

Both Alexi and Armina are trying to save the people they love, in different ways, and in the end, both fail.

Is my HoK still Sheogorath or is it normal Sheo?

Armina can manipulate dreams which is part of what pushes her to be Dagoth Ur's favorite child.

The way the story is written changes as Armina grows up and then learns more about the cult. Slow-burn horror 👍

I get to write Clavicus Vile at some point, I'm excited.

Armina asking Alexi why she doesn't wear layers and Alexi trying to find a way to answer that isn't "because I don't expect to have skin for much longer anyway”. The answer she ends up going with is "Mountain's too damn hot" and then starts crying whenever her daughter leaves the room

Alexi's character in that AU is so interesting to me

Like, she's technically placed very high in the hierarchy, probably second to Dagoth Ur himself, yet she's got next to no power because those she loves would be in danger if she tried anything

Anyways, I'm writing for this, drawing for it, and I'll start posting more stuff once I have the first bit of the story written and the portrait finished. Have a Tera for your time <3

I love you, Terastelle Telvanni...

[feuqueerfire]

Unknown Live Blogging

I loveeeeee a younger pursuer character, especially when they've known each other for a while and the older is just like I love you kid (platonic/familial) while the younger is losing their mind with their crush/love/lust. Also, the fact that the novel it's adapted from is literally called Da Ge 大哥 ah, I've gotten more into adoptive or step-brothers trope since I got into live-action BL but I've only just watched Addicted/Stay With Me and Kiseki: Dear to Me 2nd couple, so it's exciting to add another one to the list.

This is also a novel from China that's being adapted in Taiwan so that they don't have to censor it, right? There are several other BLs currently in the works like this.

Anyway, seems like people really like this show (not counting the sex scene in ep 11 or something because I heard so much complaining about that lol), so my hopes are high.

Ep 1 (June 13)

ahhh crazy start/glimpse into future

starts when they're young but have been living together a while already

ahhhh trying to take care of things/the family/his ge by paying the bills using his gift money + some part time job maybe. isn't quite a grownup yet but he wants to be so bad

2007 - when they first met

oh fuck the child being hit with the metal pipe was scary and unexpected

oh man, Qian getting embroiled with gangs and doing their dirty work for money

oof, gonna have to win 3 boxing matches to leave the gang

Ep 2 (June 13)

the teacher saying an older brother is like a father

not them ganging up on Xiao Bao!

dang, Qian's mother hated him because he did well, that's wild

Qian is so attractive like woah

we've reached current year - 2016

Ep 3 (June 13)

Yuan to the rescue

Bao and Yuan's dynamic is so cuteee

damn, Qian mad as hell at Xiao Bao's outfit and it has a bit of the "proprietary" thing that so many father-daughter older brother-younger sister dynamics have (in media at least) but also most importantly it reminds him of their mother who they are both very traumatized by

I'm so nervous, I hope nothing bad happens to Xiao Bao (esp because we know this world has like gangsters and stuff)

Is this guy part of the gangsters? Does he know who Xiao Bao is?

Yuan recognizes the gangster oh no

Sam Lin as doctor, though I must say I would not recognize him if I wasn't already aware of this

sharing a bed

studying abroad mentioned

I don't wanna read thoughts of r/boyslove or look for gifsets on tumblr, I just wanna get to the next episode.

It feels like since they both scold/get upset at Xiao Bao in an attempt to protect her, she's not gonna retain any of the reasons they're worried about her but rather maybe rebel and end up in troublesome situations. please no rape storyline though plsplspls

Ep 4 (June 14)

Yuan's 18th birthday? adult Yuan alright

pls Qian thinking that Xiao Bao's saying Yuan watches porn

it's romantic stuff but is it yaoi/BL? because the one Sweet Summer or whatever novel seemed to be two guys on the cover?

Qian kinda reminds me of Na Jaemin (my NCT bias when I was into them) from some angles

I will forever love helping something with feet, whether it be shoelace tying, giving a massage/a foot bath, or now taking care of an ankle/foot injury. it's not even a foot kink, it's just... idek like lowering oneself... in aid of the other... taking care of them...

Yuan definitely doesn't wanna hear about them seperating and liking other people

this kiss must be in Yuan's imagination

so I guess Qian doesn't suspect Yuan's feelings toward him at all + also doesn't return the feelings (yet + he might be unconsciously feeling something but it's not as intense as Yuan's feelings). However, I'm unclear on whether he thinks Yuan likes boys? Like he saw Yuan's romance novel with 2 boys + asking about the high school class monitor...

Ep 5 (June 14)

I knew this was a daydream because of the dreamy filter + I kinda remember some post on reddit about Yuan's daydream but if I was watching this in real time, I would've lost my shit

oh oh my god okay. "Ge, do you already know that I like guys?" extremely forward and sudden, I wasn't expecting it

ahhh, I can't watch this, it's so T.T. like ik it's very Uncle Jim to Liming, looking out for their young(er) nephew/brother because being gay openly isn't easy but like T.T still

What year is this? 2016 right? while gay marriage became legal in Taiwan in 2019

I love a "it's my business who i like, not yours" or whatever

ah, Qian's nice to Yuan again, he likes gives him a little lecture but isn't like actually homophobic

Xiao Bao turns 18 too

damn, what's up with Qian? head hurts?

pls the colleague (is that San Pang? yeah right?) running into Qian's room to see him and Yuan in bed sleeping and cuddling and being like... hm

pls Qian himself being like "it's not what it looks like" before the other guy even says what it looks like

QIAN WHY ARE YOU TELLING HIM THAT YUAN LIKES GUYS?!

omg San Pang now coming over to talk to Yuan

pls I know why he's asking but the way he's talking about where Xiao Bao sleeps and where he sleeps like hey ! stop

that's her literal brother and they have no parents, I think it's fine if Xiao Bao climbs into her Dage's bed to sleep occasionally lmfao

oh I guess he was talking about Xiao Bao sleeping in Yuan's bed. whelp he'd have a point in that case I guess becuase Yuan def can like these siblings lol he just happens to not like the sister

pls Xiao Bao wants San Pang to ask about her, so whenever he talks about Yuan and Qian the way her eyes roll so hard that her whole head rotates, so funny

not the office fujos Noticing and Observing lol

ahh, Yuan's inner turmoil seeing his "future sister-in-law"

ah, San Pang straight up asking if the one Yuan likes is Qian

I just wanna know when the confession is gonna happen, is it gonna be next ep? because Yuan also has to go abroad (though I don't think that time skip takes too much airtime from what I've read). I want some stuff to happen after confession + after getting together too.

Ep 6 (June 14)

I wonder what role San Pang will play like will he help them figure it out or hinder all the way through? they're kinda hinting him with Lili, so he can't possibly be a "bad guy." I get him dissuading them now or giving them reasons why they shouldn't but once they do, I assume he'll be okay with it at least

"Don't tell me that guy also has some?" oh Qian

Qian feeling pity for Yuan and being like why do you have to like him... oh Qian, oh Yuan

aklsdfjalksdf ahhh Yuan about to me a drunken mess at this important work function plssss I'm nervous. but also... does the confession happen when Yuan's drunk? Is it gonna happen this ep?

Feng Ning is so cool I love her. if Yuan does anything that upsets her I'll get mad at him im negl

oh omg I have an image in my mind of when Yuan confesses maybe and it was not in this outfit and they were also maybe sitting, so the i like you and attempted kiss was like oh!

It also stressed me out that they're still at work

woahhh it hurts so good the way Qian not only punched Yuan but also didn't stop to care for his wounded hand

ahhh Qian avoiding Yuan and the home entirely

studying abroad plan on

Aw, Xiao Bao who is like ? wtf is going on, why are my brothers fighting and also Yuan literally going to NY

is that Yuan sitting on the floor with his paper on his face and crying? yes, same sweater stripes

The angst is done well. The situation must happen (I was anticipating the fallout from the confession so much!), it's not overdramatized (Qian reacts badly but then just avoids Yuan for the rest and Yuan tries to apologize a bunch but doesn't force anything when Qian ignores him), the acting-writing-directing are all good. I'm also liking the consequence of him moving away to a different country (for a few years?) because he's known Qian all his life and practically only talks to Qian, Lili, and sometimes people like San Pang or a classmate but he'll broaden his horizons now and it'll be less "he loves Qian because he only knows him"

Ep 7 (June 14)

damn, Qian's apparently been so apathetic that San Pang's like maybe I shouldn't made Yuan stay so that at least you wouldn't be like this

Qian's alcohol problem + his chronic headache bruh

San Pang straight up asking if Qian has feelings for Yuan too and Qian does not deny it

also it's been 2 years right? since it's 2018 now and 2017-2018 were blank for Yuan's height

Qian is truly so attractive. his face but also his mannerisms and expressions and gestures. woah. and of course my forever weakness: nice smile and there's a dimple too

2017 - 2023?! omg 6 years? that's a lot, I was expected 2-3 fr

Qian continues reading Yuan's texts but not replying to them. then impulsively calling Yuan and immediately hanging up again

first reciprocal contact in 6 years, if I was Yuan that call would've made me lose my whole entire mind fr

Bro, it's actally Qian who's losing his mind because he's sitting on Yuan's bed in Yuan's room and texting Yuan to come home if he misses it

Xiao Bao has truly become grown up model Lili

San Pang is at the office gathering, so who did she see at the door? would Yuan already be at home lmfao

ah, indeed Yuan's here lol

Yuan and Lili antics begin again, how fun

From a few Tumblr posts, I thought Lil iand San Pang's relationship was gonna get exposed? next ep i guess.

also saw some gifs that Yuan's gonna be petty toward Qian next ep and I'm so excited, how did people wait weekly for this? I can barely wait for tomorrow.

Ep 8 (June 15)

starting this around 7:30pm because I had to watch Wandee Goodday episode today. Hope I like this episode than I liked Wandee's

ah, Yuan's so bold now "Have you seen enough?"

The fact that Yuan made eye contact with Qian before handing the drink over to Xiong-ge. Qian expectantly holding out his hand but having to retreat and check afterwards that nobody else saw lmfao

It's killing me that Yuan keeps looking at the other two ges during the conversation while Qian keeps glancing at Yuan and can't keep his eyes off of him even when he tries

Yuan even thanking San Pang for making him go to the states...

the hickeys?!

Qian's incredulous look at 8:00 is really so Na Jaemin, why does he remind me so much of him

I would say Qian's slow for not catching on that they're together somehow but ig San Pang and Lili are LDR since she doesn't even live here anymore? and so Qian's not aware of it? but it's also funny to think his brain was barely working while Yuan wasn't here but managed to deduce it by glimpsing the hickeys as soon as Yuan came and Qian's brain started working again lmao

damn, Lili's literally shaking her head no, how dare San Pang make the executive decision to confess to Qian?

NOT THE BUTCHER KNIFE LMFAO

Yuan literally sitting back and eating fruits on the couch as he observes is so funny

and his smiles lmfaooo

and only inserting himself when Xiong-ge brings up Qian dating somebody else lmfao he's a menace

Yuan calling Qian as Wei Qian instead of ge is so .

Qian's mad because the two of them are dating and there's an age difference and San Pang's known Lili since she was a child and he figured it out through hickeys and he's the last to know and all those reasons but also... he's probably also mad that why isn't he with Yuan then? If those two can do it, why not him too?

Yuan knowssssss he's getting to Qian

I've seen a glimpse of a gif of Yuan feeding Qian ahh

and now that Yuan's indeed giving him his full attention at the table, Qian can't look at him

Qian's losing his mind and I along with him

Yuan's so bold now, it makes me nervous like chilllllll, move back like the way he kept walking toward Qian and nearly kissed him alksdfjla;ksfj

Yuan is suchhh a menace, the way he starting speaking loud and clear when he heard Qian at the door

my mom dragged me away right then but I'm back

plss he's talking about how he also likes somebody and both Xiao Bao and Ge know that person. lmfao. menace.

Xiao Bao reading from a script lmfaooo

Yuan truly is such a menace, sliding the family vacation into Lili's script pls

cryingggg Xiao Bao ditched the family trip to go to Milan

Yuan kept poking until Qian finally says to not keep feelings for him anymore, only to hit him back with "what makes you think i still like you?"

Yuan saying Wei Qian really does me in. "Wei Qian, don't you like Wei Zhiyuan?" was woah

agh, A'Le and gangsters next ep. hmph

I've been curious to see which other age gap older male/younger female ships I like because they usually give me major ick but I'm such a fan of age gap ships in m/m-f/f-noona romances. I think History 3: Trapped side side ship with the sister and bulter man is the only one I can think of and they barely existed lol. So I want to like San Pang and Lili, especially when she said she's the one who pursued him (I'm into that trope a lot too; like Yuan's also the younger one pursing the older one) but I wish San Pang wasn't a hypocrite/homophobe because if he's into Lili and has no problems getting with her but so disapproved and dissuaded Yuan, like the reason is homophobia yes? I wanted him to come to The Realization that Yuan liking Qian is... fine-ish when he developed feelings for Lili, not have him separate the two situations.

Ep 9 (June 15)

so many things to do but I'm watching this instead, goddammit. but been a little while since i've been so eager to binge and watch next ep (Kiseki and Triage last month I think)

Also, I saw a post that had a clip from the trailer that hasn't happened yet or something and I didn't watch it but there was text about how Qian looks Yuan in the eye when he confesses... omg now I'm so excited to see when that happens. I hadn't been thinking about how they'd actually come together but a confession must happen and I'd be very happy if Qian's the one who does it this time, even more so if he's very tortured about it

oh, abroad was 4 years ago? not 6

I like Yuan's whole spiel about I can't stop liking you but this is enough

Yuan calling Qian out on his bullshit, he can't kick Yuan out again

Qian can tell when Yuan's lying/hiding something

hmm they're calling Qian the snitch and the cops came back then... I feel like Qian didn't do it since he himself was involved

when's that napkin with the poem from?

what is the plan exactly? Lin's telling Yuan to remember that Qian cares about him...

damn, Yuan left for a trip with very short notice?

"You're acting like a wife trying to catch her cheating husband" read the room, San Pang. you can't tell this to Qian who is trying to not be in love with his didi

Dr. Lin so funny. also did We Best Love have eating raw noodles? I feel like it did...

Wei Zhiyuan means "belongs to Wei"

no but what was Yuan plan actually because mans just went to their lair, asked for Le-ge and now is just getting beat up lmfao

scary, Le-ge's got bullets

please why are we doing Russian Roulette rn T.T

Can't have a bullet in there if he's doing it on himself, right? I didn't see how many bullets he put in there. or is he just fucked up in the head enough to do it anyway lol

Qian hugging Yuan in desperation

omg that napkin was literally what Yuan wrote as he thought they were his last words stuck on a mountain during his study abroad. and Qian was avoiding speaking to him during that time godddd, what a tragedy it would have been

and it's a good time to reveal that since they just did the russian roulette for e/o

I don't wanna read ppls thoughts or look at gifsets, I wanna just watch the next episode omg but I won't look at anything after ep 10 until I finish the whole thing since ep 11-12 spoilers will also be there, so I should look at stuff now.

Ep 10 (June 16)

Qian remembering everything Yuan's said and done

nose bleed...

parallels w the hair drying and cuddling to sleep, it'd be funny if san pang woke them up again

does Qian think he'll die

lmaoooooo San Pangcame but unfortunaly Qian was aklready downstairs

i knew bout this blood clot

not the i wish i could tie you up with a rope

Idk how Qian thinks he could possibly hide this from Yuan lol I'm surprised he hadn't just listened in or bothered Lin about the info

the three of them just exchanging eye contact and the focus from San Pang -> Qian with a zoom! sound effect was very funny

Yuan is so funny to San Pang lmfao he keeps being like San Pang ge thank you <3 to the point of uncomfortableness

welp indeed Yuan figured it out on his own

ah, Yuan's mad that Qian hid it from him and keeps saying he'll deal with it on its own

Qian made all of Yuan's favourites to try to win him over askdf but Yuan's still mad

Yuan taking a brief break from ignoring Qian's existence to take away greasy food/beer and give him and San Pang salad instead

San Pang once again telling Qian to consider Yuan and getting with him seriously

Did he not that he wants Yuan to have a future without him?

I think I got a little lost about what exactly led to Yuan storming out but ahhh that convo, fuck. Qian's turmoil and inner conflict and Yuan being like it's mind to deal with, not yours but Qian not being able to let Yuan go.

Ep 11 (June 16/17)

I wanna binge these last 3 eps but it's Eid so I'm busy and gotta watch the rest later. I'm really excited for this ep since it's gonna have the confession and also the sex scene but I know it made everybody fucking mad because of the editing (they had flashbacks to them as kids?) + position top/bottom implications/confusions lmfaoo

The first time Qian took initiative to grab Yuan omg

wait, we're already going into the house okay

I need a pillow or stuffed animal to dig my nails into rn omg i keep grabbing air

what was the more correct translation of "I've been waiting all my life. This isn't fast at all." that made me lose my mind when I saw it and I hadn't even been watching the show back then

"You don't even know what I dream about you at night" hah. hahahah. haha. ok

hello why are we having flashbacks to a conversation from 5 minutes in between the sex scene instead of just... being linear??? I didn't know this happened bc it got drowned out w the other complaints ig lmao

yeah, interspliced scenes we haven't seen before + flashbacks of scenes we've seen during a sex scene are already annoying but then WHY ARE THERE CHILDHOOD FLASHBACKS. this is not the time to have kids on my damn screen wtf

also I just kinda took top Yuan from that, is it top Qian in the novel or something because I feel like people mentioned that it seemed one way but it wasn't supposed to be that way? or is it because the scene where Yuan had his bare legs splayed that gave the illusion of bottom Yuan and people didn't like that? I'm so curious

domestic morning kissing, they've really come all the way here

Lili's home?!

a fight? girl lmao ig Lili's the normal sibling who's not guessing that her other siblings are fucking, biologically related or not

what is this Le/Lin scene lmao

fancy dinner date at the same gangster restaurant as always lol but apparently Qian's reserved the whole place and made it romantic

Enough angles for one kiss!

restaurant owner gang uncle just witnessing all this lmfao I think it'd be hilarious if he gossips with Le-ge about Qian and his brother kissing

fuck, this nerve and surgery stuff is so scary fr

Okay, finished the last 10 minutes while having lunch the next day because I had to leave yesterday. Good to see both Yuan and Lili care about Qian and want to take care of him and such. Qian took up smoking again in all this stress. I still don't fully get all the mom stuff beyond she thoroughly abused him.

The sex scene was like... what??? and I'm glad I was already aware of its issues because I would've gone beserk if I was watching this weekly for 10 weeks and got that in return wtf. The whole show relies on their emotions and inner conflicts but it felt like neither aspect was truly explored in the scene and made worsened with the horrific editing.

Also I can't fucking reblog but this is maybe the post I was talking about with the translation during the sex scene. Yuan's line implies he's masturbated thinking about Qian which is like the most unsurprising thing ever.

Ep 12 (June 17)

Final episode, hope it at least ends well

Lili figures it out. she's kinda upset that she's the last one to know about it, her lines remind me of when Qian found out about her and San Pang haha

but what does she wanna say, why am I nervous that she's pregnant

lol Qian liking that Yuan's trying to help him out at work

I'm suddenly embarrassed, I really can't do office romances

Xiong-ge showing support in his awkward ways is nice

hehhehe Yuan coming to pick Qian up from work dressed up so nice and Qian kissing him outside after checking nobody's around

I got stressed out by Yuan kissing Qian at work omg in broad daylight with people around

yeah the office fujo will certainly keep this a secret lol as if a bunch of them weren't already gossiping like 4 years ago or whatever

I can't handle office romances guys my body shrivels up and my toes and fingers curl, I'm so embarrassed. can the employees stop squealing about it in public. I'm so stressed out by office gossip even if it's like shippy/supportive. also the excited fujo character can sometimes work for me in high school/college shows because it's like young characters but this in an office is like. no. their family and friends can know but i don't need to see their coworkers finding out unless it's meant to be a point of conflict

how can you be discussing top-bottom dynamics of your boss with your colleagues!! and asking your other boss about it !!!! let's get serious I hate this, I should skip through

HOW CAN YOU ASK THIS TO YOUR FUCKING BOSS?!?!?!?!? HOW CAN THIS BE A POSSIBLE THING?!?!?! this show is generally so grounded, even in it's more out-there aspects, that this is like... what world are we in? so inappropriate and also like probably homophobic because you would not be asking this if Qian was dating a woman

are they insinuating Qian's the top/tiger? That does not go with what I want form this trope so I'm ignoring it lmfao I can do verse because I can almost always ship verse but with the younger-guy-deeply-in-love-with-and-madly-pursues-older-guy-who-is-resistant-and-conflicted trope, I like a younger top

but i think people were also annoyed about this suggestion of top Qian lmfao, I think I remember reading comments about it

ah, Lili is indeed pregnant

aw, hug before the questioning but it's like genuine, not from anger. Especially important for them because their mother was terrible and they don't want a child to go through that again obvs

pls San Pang's also here loll I think it's good the ways they were all in different rooms

the panic when Xiao Bao knelt and the 3 of them also scrambling to kneel, especially when Qian also knelt

aw, Qian really was their da-ge, father, and mother all in one

Qian's afraid Lili will follow in their mother's footsteps (pregnant then married young) and be unhappy

why is this so good T.T

I can't believe the messy sex scene from last ep and the utter bullshit that was the office scene in this ep made me forget for a bit how good this show can be

Damn, they're really saving the surgery thing for the very last few minutes. anyway ik he doesn't die because everything would've gone up in flames if that happened

omg how much timeskip, there's a whole baby now

The office discussion actually made me so uncomfortable, it was so inappropriate and unnecessary, why didn't we take that time to... just show at least a bit of the surgery and aftermath or whatever? Like that was such a huge thing in the past 2-3 eps but it just... disappears and we assume it was successful bc of the ending

Overall:

I'm so glad I got over my pseudo-incest brother-lover aversion because I can now watch this stuff in delight. Though I must say, my favourite aspect of this show is the little family trio with Qian, Yuan, and Lili, with San Pang occasionally invited as well. I loved how they cared for each other and how though Lili was left out of the romantic duo inside their trio, it didn't feel like she was forgotten or sidelined. They each had specific relationships with each of the other people, their interactions had their own flavours and it was so good.

The romance itself hm I think the development was nice, especially from Yuan's side since we saw how he thought of Qian and how he supported him and such. We also saw a bit of how Qian was so lost when Yuan was gone that even San Pang was wondering whether Qian liked Yuan and it would've been better if they hadn't sent him away. It just feels like since there was so much angst and build-up for like 10 episodes, their actual coming together should have been grander. The sex feels a bit sudden, I don't think it should've happened right after that conversation because Qian was barely ready to admit whether he saw Yuan as more romantically than just a brother, and then the editing of it all was terrible.

The surgery stuff also kinda dwindled, if they'd brought it up, I wished they would've at least shown the direct aftermath or whatever. I despised how we had the office Yuan/Qian gossip for so long in episode 12, we could've used it for better things. At least we ended with the Lili pregnancy announcement and coming together over that, which reminded me just at the end why I liked the show.

Some other things I really loved: 1) Qian's face, holy shit. Qian is so beautiful, like incredibly attractive to me, woah. Reminds me of Na Jaemin who I was also taken by when I stanned NCT; is it the lower half of their faces/their mouths? 2) The 2 scenes where Qian finds out Lili and San Pang are dating in ep 8 + finds out Lili's pregnant in ep 12 and just going to kill San Pang lol (also loved how Yuan was enjoying it in ep 8 but was helping San Pang and Lili out in ep 12 lol). 3) The episodes, especially the earlier-middle ones, were so addictive, I didn't end up reading the on-air reddit threads because I was too into watching the next ep instead of reading about it.

In the end, I don't think I'll think about it often, especially not the Yuan/Qian ship unless just to remember the brother-lover trope and even then, Kiseki's Chen Yi/Ai Di gave me more intense brainworms for a similar trope I think. I'm disappointed that I didn't love the show, its flaws are at moments that are too important. So deeply conflicted about whether to give 6 or 6.5, I'll go with 6.5 for now.

Rating: 6.5/10

[dreamlanders]

i think you are blurring the lines between symbolism and propaganda .. toontown cogs r metaphorical characters who laugh at and imitate the capitalistic dull buisness man type imagery.. if anything, toontown is anti capitalist propaganda for how the cogs are villainized throughout the game for their actions . besides, its a little disrespectful to compare real life colonization to a video game like toontown.. i definetly dont think people who enjoy making content abt cogs or anything deserve that kind of slack

lmao ok so heres the thing

im korean right, and as all koreans do, i have MANY family members who have experienced imperialist oppression under both the japanese and the united states’ neoimperialist project. i know a lot of americans or non-asians in general dont really get taught about this, so im gonna summarize this quickly because im not getting into the absolute horror of it all on my goddamn toontown blog

japan annexes korea in 1910 and violently exploits korean land and labor for 35 years, and along the way they attempt to systematically destroy korean culture, language, and history, down to banning the korean language outright and slaughtering native dogs. as is often the case with the imperialist narrative they adopt a false pretense of “modernizing” the “backwards” koreans. anyway they lose ww2 and we all know how that goes, so south korea is under new management from the united states, who installs or backs a long string of authoritarian dictators who wipe out hundreds of villages in jeju island and shoot protestors post korean war. again, a very rough summary

where im going with this is that with my family history in mind (because all of my grandparents lived through the japanese occupation and korean war and have the stories to prove it), i approach a lot of media asking questions about imperialism and exploitation. yeah including the kids mmo, because theres plenty of things that coincide with these in, admittedly, toned down ways (its a kids game)

clash cogs’ motivation is, as far as im aware, to use toontown’s resources for profit by means of fuel. this reminded me of the way korea suffered under japanese occupation, during which koreans were kidnapped by the government and used as unpaid labor for mining and for manufacturing by companies like mitsubishi, on top of the agricultural exploitation and the theft of korean natural resources for both japanese demand and profit

the rewritten cogs have a slightly different motivation, with the same endgoal. by trying to “convert” toons to coggish practices and trying to get them to stop being toony, its an act of cultural destruction. being toony is part of toon culture, using jellybeans for money and hosting parties and doing slapstick comedy are all important parts of toon culture. the chairman is trying to destroy this. this is what sticks out to me the most, because the colonizing bastards tried to beat the culture out of koreans as a whole, and this is whats always been emphasized in the family stories. you think my grandparents know japanese for the fun of it? no, because they were quite literally forbidden from participating in their own cultural practices because someone thought that their culture was superior to ours.

its disrespectful to compare the lived experiences of my fucking flesh and blood to media i consume? disrespectful to who, anon? to fucking who?

anyway i never said toontown was pro capitalist propaganda what the actual fuck. first off symbolism is often present in propagandistic media pieces, but also more to the point, since i would not call toontown propaganda: no shit theyre representative of capitalists, but the problem with capitalism is that it allows for a system of violent colonialism, exploitation, and displacement in the name of profit, and its natural for this to be evident in media focusing on capitalism. and i said this last time, but i dont have a single goddamn problem with people who like the cogs, but 1. im just a little frustrated 2. yall gotta stop making them the good guys and unironically hoping the chairman wins.

donate $100 to palestinian relief efforts or buy the equivalent amount in esim cards for gazans and post the receipt on your public blog if you want to have me answer any more of these kinds of asks. this aint a discourse blog put up or shut up

[adriabun]

angel this is your free pass ask to go ham about whatever’s on your mind w petyle. i am laying down, kicking my feet, and listening 👀

ive been sitting on this in my inbox for so long just trying to collect my thoughts and so many ppl have asked me that...now it is time.....ok

i think the thing i want to talk most about is the beginning of their relationship and what their relationship actually is ...like what about it is making me lose my marbles...i want to get all of this information out because as the ceo of petyle i need everyone to understand how they are characterised and how to correctly view their relationship. anything outside what i think is simply lies and flanderization..../hj.........

i typically default to college-age setting so thats what ill be centering on but my ideas of their dynamic can be malleable to other ages (canon, high school, post covid at a stretch etc)

pete has always been interested in kyle from a distance- theyve never really spoken, but after stan becomes a normie again after his goth stint michael points stan out at school like 'look at that conformist lol' and petes like 'yeah what a loser. also who the fuck is the guy in green.'

we've seen from basic cable where he has a crush on sophie that he isnt necessarily afraid of putting himself out there when hes interested in someone but hes kind of awkward about it. so he approaches kyle a couple of times to see what his deal is. this makes all the other goth kids INSANE like not in a negative way they r either in disbelief (michael, firkle) or think its hilarious (henrietta) that pete has a crush on kyle, he massively denies its a romantic thing tho bc hes not a gaywad...he just wants to know whats up with this guy and why hes so interesting

ngl kyle is probably suspicious or at least confused as why pete has started talking to him once hes over the initial weirdness he realises pete is kind of chill but the award palatable small talk hes trying to have with kyle is really annoying kyle def snaps at some point and asks him what the fuck pete is trying to gain out of this because its obvious hes not being himself.

pete is stubborn enough to not back down atp, hes not gonna let a conformist own him like that. so he starts being himself so much, to a degree where hes almost saying 'you wanted this, fine here you fucking go' in order to make kyle upset. but it doesnt work oh no!! kyle finds his goth eccentricities and pessimism so stupid thats its endearing!!!

nothing between them is inherently romantic or even entirely..friendly. more than anything they enjoy annoying each other in a constant loop of quips and rolled eyes. but theres just like.. something fiery underneath they wont address until they get wasted at a house party and let the alcohol do the talking

i have a habit of favouring either onesided petyle (on petes side ofc) or one that ends with a bad breakup because #stylesweep so a lot of my thoughts are biased towards that sort of ending. i just like relationship/situationship angst ok ...ive been there many times. a part of this angst is the idea that theyre each just 'the best they can get' in the moment. Pete's too internally self loathing to think kyle is actually in love with him or anything. theyre just having fun. its not serious. he refuses to think into any of it emotionally, though its kind of eating him up inside. meanwhile kyle is literally just taking it as it is. he feels a little guilty. he doesnt like pete like that (???) but he cant deny flirting and fooling around with him is fun. and also a distraction from stan getting back with wendy.

anyway thats what i have for now. let me know if anyone wants any more i guess. or any specifics about their actual relationship that i have bouncing around. idk!

[found-wings]

I WAS MINDING MY DAMN BUSINESS LISTENING TO ONE OF MY FAV SONGS AND THE BUS OF CODE PHIL RAN INTO ME AND DESTROYED MY LIFE anyway which witch by florence + the machine (best artist ever) oh my god is literally him in the worst way possible the pain the agony (also if u don't want anymore song recs idm^^ ik I've left quite a bit in the askbox but I can slow down if needed :] )

-

And it's my whole heart

Weighed and measured inside

And it's an old scar

Trying to bleach it out

And it's my whole heart

Deemed and delivered a crime

I'm on trial, waiting 'til the beat comes out

I'm on trial, waiting 'til the beat comes out

Who's a heretic now?

Am I making sense?

How can you make it stick?

Waiting 'til the beat comes out

-

this verse radiates energy from the realization he has of his history with the federation combined with them realizing that he's figured them out and need to make quick work of him in order to keep him in line. not only messing with him physically in experiments but also mentally in making sure to break him down and making him look crazy in order to decrease his threat levels towards any future acts they may commit against the people of the island. also the 'deemed and delivered a crime' can also associate with the brief period of certain members of the island learning about phils federation lineage and creating contingency plans behind his back in case he goes rogue to attack them. (of course he does but not willingly ;-;)

-

I'm not beat up by this yet

You can't tell me to regret

Been in the dark since the day we met

Fire, help me to forget

And it's my whole heart

While tried and tested, it's mine

And it's my whole heart

Trying to reach it out

And it's my whole heart

Burned but not buried this time

-

oh this part verrrrry specifically is what made everything click right in my mind for this au- especially when thinking about his friendship with etoiles. when I hear this section, I got reminded of the 'repairs' the federation forces onto phil with every trip, how everytime they continue and continue to crack him more and more and shatter him into pieces but he keeps getting. back. up. no matter what they do to him, at the end it's etoiles who's there to keep reminding him that he is still his own person, at his core he is whole and the federation can't take away who he is for long. everytime the federation fucks him up and tries to make it seem as if nothing had happened with the memory wipes of said experiments, this time,, phil has people alongside him to help him remember who he is. the repetition of 'and it's my whole heart' is so codebreakers in this au with it being phil repeating the mantras etoiles has instilled in his mind that he's still his own person and he is still good despite all the damage the federation not only inflicts on him but attends to inflict onto others. it's very good that many of the island members he surrounds himself with are powerful enough to make sure he isn't hurting others physically. mentally though, seeing a good friend lose himself and have to constantly remind himself of who he is can be taxing on the mind.

-

Chained and shackled, oh

All that gravel, oh

It's a pity, oh

Never to return

But I never learn

It's a pity, oh

(x2)

-

the repeating outro reminds me very specifically of the conditioning training the federation instilled in phils head. acknowledging the metaphorical weights they placed upon him to keep him shackled to them and the island- not only when referring to him unconsciously returning to them in times of enhanced stress and post-acts of rule breaking, but in the clips of his wings that leave him physically immobile when in the world of the skies that he so desperately wants to go back too

AAAAAAAAAAA so many florence songs r him rn it literally inspired me to make a q!phil playlist bc of it and the brain is braininggggggg. also wow with having like 3 song asks shoved in here im really living up to the disc anon name LMAOOOOOO - 💿

Can I just say I am absolutely in love with how you connect lyrics to things and explain them and word everything??? Because HELLO????

ADDING THIS TO THE PLAYLIST POST AS SOON AS I GET DONE WRITING THIS RESPONSE

Honestly the overall song gives me kind of.. angry vibes?? As in connecting it to the code au, it feels like a song that connects to Phils anger towards the Federation that‘s fueled by his close friends, but especially so by Etoiles who has been there for him as much as possible. Repeatingly helping him back up no matter how many times he‘s forced back down to kneel, to submit.

THIS SONG IS SO GOOD WAAAH

[theodoraflowerday]

young royals s3e1 episode reaction:

oh god oh lord

let's go

and his LAWYER? is this about sara reporting him?

oh ludwig speaks

THEYRE BEING SUPPORTIVE???? I fr thought their marriage was a sham lol

PILLS????? KRISTINA??????????

bro wille really is a mini kristina huh.

wait simon's never been to the palace before has he?

a SETTLEMENT??????????

BRO HE POSTED CSAM TO THE INTERNET WDYM A SETTLEMENT

oh. my god burn it to the GROUND LINDA

oh? oh my god? what the fuck???

"piss person" well you little bitch baby that is Indeed what you are so

ugh

Linda is so right but so is Simon

I really hope this isn't how it's solved tho I wanna see August burning

"I just want it to be over" oh my baby boy oh my son

what's this hi hi what is this heartstopper

CAN Y'ALL KISS??? IVE WAITED LIKE A YEAR AND A HALF?

"cozy" oh kflfjdlfjdlgkdlgkdlgkdl little shit

(ps if I didn't rewatch yesterday I fully wouldn't have caught that throwback)

when Simon touched the curtain I knew kslfjdlfjdlfjdlfj

THEYRE SUCH PRETTY KISSERS IM GONNA RIP MY LEGS OFF

IS THIS HOW YOU IMAGINED IT

THIS IS BETTER

BROOOOOOOOOOO IM GONNA SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FOOT

omfg they're SO CUTE I'M LOSING MY MIND

oh OH oh they're GOING at it

oh come ON

well that was precious as all hell

and now they're going back inside as if they weren't dry humping in wille's room 3 minutes ago. kings.

I want to smash rickard's face against a fire pit

simon: oh fuck. wille: oh yea you're lucky I didn't shoot you piece of shit

I'm losing my mind at linda being extremely surprised while kristina's like "sighs yeah. fucking figures. erik would never"

also losing my mind at wille's face lil bro is like AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN BAP BAP BAP

[maddie voice] FUCK YOU AUGUST

oh now linda's all disappointed. ok. be a better mom then.

i will literally rip August's face off idc

KRISTINA??????????

KRISTINA

omg felice

oh baby girl no

BUT SARA WAS A SNAKE

I want to give felice so many hugs my bbg

oh my god farima what the fuck sjgldjfkdjfldkf

WHAT THE FUCK

oh my god she really said "ok you're super gay now, wonderful, how can we use this to our advantage"

WELL ASK THEM?? YOU'RE THE LITERAL MOTHER IN THIS SCENARIO. ACT LIKE ONE.

linda has been pissing me tf off since last season idc

omg someone snitched on hillerska

OH

OHHHHHH

OH THEY KISSED IN PUBLIC

OH MY GOD

OH THEYRE GOING ALL OUT

hey now hey now this is what dreams are made of etc etc

BOTH THE CROWN PRINCE AND YOUR BOYFRIEND

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA

B O Y F R I E N D

let's fuckin GOOOOO ENDGAME BITCHES

if simon sneaks out it's gonna bite them in the ass tho lmao

"sleep with a freshman" August did that twice lmao gross

OH THEY KNEW

OH MY GOD HE'S DOWN BAD

vincent is such an asshole barfs

DONT TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT AWAJFLSJFKSJFSKJ

fine. I'm coming out. i am a big august/sara enjoyer.

not the tiny heart that's so fucking cute

he can't get tattoos?? that's such bullshit. get a tramp stamp wille it's what you deserve

not felice unloading on wille and simon HDKFJDKGJ babygirl I love you and you need a therapist bc that's so inappropriate

"how do you get over your best friend" felice baby im gonna send you a google doc called the lesbian masterpost hang on

yeah of course that piece of shit nasty asshole talked to the press lmfao

"ex" y'all kissed like twice, [clare from derry girls voice] look at the state of ya

actually? can rosh and ayub talk to him? with their fists? and a knife preferably?

you know, I actually kinda like nils. he's so fucked up but you can see he genuinely cares abt wille. in his own lil fucked up extremely upper class way.

SARA

SARA NOOOOOOOOOOOO

oh lmfao that's literally how my dad's house looks like when I show up haha sad

omg are they gonna initiate her again

OMG

OMG BABY GIRLS

BRO THEYRE GONNA CLEAN HER ROOM AND TAKE HER TO NEW YORK

TEEN GIRLS BRO

oh wille seems so cozy. wonder what's going to go down now.

oh did they write an article abt simon

oh

oh it was not about simon

oh sweet baby jesus

I mean. it was totally alexander wasn't it lmfao

but also like....... I love that they're blowing that shit up. blow that school up.

ALL CLASSES?????

aw they're sitting together. boyfriends.

"did that happen to you" how is wille more worried abt the gay porn one and not ALL THE OTHER SHIT THEY DID TO HIM

oh I like her she reminds me of the lady from the incredibles

ohhhh

NOT THE PHONES TOO?

get over yourself vincent. fuck you vincent.

oh they're gonna close this shit

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

fuck okay wonderful

[deviantartdramahub]

So, DADramaNow, you're not just attacking Club purely out of ableism? Lol okay, lemme show you in more depth detail why we know that isn't true.

3 notes

Here they're making fun of Club bc he doesn't always understand sarcasm or humor. One of the most well known things about autism is that it makes you struggle to understand tones or social cues. That of course will be an especial problem on the internet, unless you use tone tags. This makes it clear they're making fun of one of his struggles he has due to autism. They're making fun of something pretty much all autistic people struggle with at least a few times in their life. In fact, it might happen to you even if you don't have autism, it's a simple, small, innocent mistake. The fact that they're making fun of Club for this is just malicious.

3 notes

You do know not all autistic people are "high-functioning", right?? It's called a spectrum for a reason. NO autistic person deserves to be made fun of for their ability, no matter how high or low it is. Even if Eduard's just a fictional character, it's messed up that you say this and not take into consideration he's not able to.

 1 note <- Here they say "psycho" is an ableist term...

0 notes <- But here you had no trouble calling Tri a "psychopath"??

Not only is it hypocrisy, but also looking pretty damn ableist.

2 notes

Here's them downplaying ableism just bc there's more than one oppressed group. Seriously?? Trust me, as a bi person AND an autistic person, I want both groups to be accepted. But trying to silence and downplay disabled people won't help with SHIT.

1 note

Maybe you should consider the fact he focuses on autism and incontinence is bc those are the things he has experience with?? He himself has autism and has an incontinent step-brother. Even then, he still attempted to include others bc he does truly want to be inclusive, I remember a post he made where he asked people what other disabilities they wanted to see included. I requested for him to introduce a dyslexic character, bc my sister has dyslexia. And guess what? HE DID. Because he truly does care. He just mainly does autistic and incontinent characters bc that's WHAT HE HAS EXPERIENCE WITH! YOU are the ableists for thinking autistic and incontinent people shouldn't be represented!

2 notes

Don't be so judge-mental on the poor kid just because he has incontinence and mind your own damn business, jfc...

5 notes

Club is NOTHING like that sicko you're talking about, they sound disgusting and I know Club would NEVER do something like that. (Unless those things you said are lies and Nightflight's just another innocent victim of yours, but idk. -_-

But anyways, saying all autistic people are automatically bad bc of that person is completely stupid.

 3 notes

Here they seem to be talking about disabled children like they're burdens.

3 notes

Another example of the 5th link.

 5 notes

They literally use "mister autistic" as an insult against him. They also full on say the r-slur without censoring it whatsoever.

Anyways, I'm sure, in fact 100% sure, there's more in depth proof their hatred of Club is purely ableism, but once again, DADramaNow does a shit job at running their group, and this is what Club's tag links to:

Not Found

So looking for proof was difficult, though I think I've gathered up enough, at least for now.

Anyways, pedophilia is a harmful stereotype pf autistic people, and DADramaNow is projecting this stereotype onto Club, bc they're very fucked up and bigoted people. There's no denying it now,Mod S and co.

Their unfortunate dismissal of disability hits even harder knowing many of them in their group identify as having autism. They don’t come off as it and don’t treat others with it kindly, which makes me lose incentive to acknowledge they may have it. It’s as if everything to them is a matter of identity.

[kacchanbaby]

Screaming losuly about MHA end!ng UNHINGED CRASHOUT cuz I am PISSED and ANNOYEDDDDD RN!!!! AJD SAD AND GGRGGR FUCK!!!

IMGONNA CRYYYY :(((( IMSOSAADDD GODDAMN ITTTT!!!!!!! I HAVE LOTS OF THINGS TO SAY. BUT I'M UGHHHH :((:):):),!,!,!,!!?!?!,!,!?!!, whyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!! whyymsosadd WHY DID IT WND LIKE THAT?!!!? BRO. IHATEYOU😭😭😭

LIKE WHUUUUYYY WENEEDED MORE. SO MUCH MORE AND THAT ENDING WAS SO BAD. ANDBANDN EHUUUUUHGG WE NEEDED SO MUCH.MOREEEEEE FROMMMB THEM!!!!!!!? IZUKU AND KATSUKI, KATSUKI N MITSUKI N MASARU, FUCKING INKO AND IZUKU?????!!!! OCHACO AND TOGA. THE LEAGUE OF VILLAINS???? WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKK I'M LOSING MY MIND THINKING ABOUT IT AGAAIN. WHY. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT????? AND THE EPILOGUE. NOOOO WHY DID HE APPROVE TJATTTT!!!! if hori won't do kacchan right, I wi just have to take him away n fix everything myself BECAUSE THAT WAS BRUTAL. AND SAME WITH IZUKU LIKE WHAT TH HELL WAS THAT, SERIOUSLY?? im ykw... let me calm down.

wanted more frm mitsuki n masaru :( I really didddd,, flashbacks n stuff r NOT enough. I wanna know everything AND EVEN JUST A MINI POST-WAR TALK WPULDBT BEEN FINE.!!!!! I'm biting my fist grgrgeghhdhdhgd GGRRRDRRRRR!!!!!!! sososad :( and I'm back on the freaking abuse train again because nO!!! I don't care. I DON'T CAREEEE I seriously HATE seeing that from people!!!! it makes me so upset I don't cateeee!!!!!! STOP. genuinely throwing a fit because everytimt I try to look for things w them, it's always "oh yeah, she's just abusive. She's a horrible mother." may you never speak again. be QUIET!!! I'm SO TIRED OF SEEING IY CUZBITS ALL THE SAME THINGS JUST BEING REPEATED OVER AND OVER😭😭😭 SOHELP ME GOD. I JUST WANT ANYTHING, LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE TO BE ATTACHED TO HER NAME I'M BEGGING. IT PISSES ME OFF!!! SHE'S NOT LIKE THAT, BE QYIEEETTTTT!!!! OR MASARU EITYER LIKE SHUT UP!!!!! you are annoying and I don't like you. >:( IDC IF I'M DOING TOO MUCH EOTHER!!!!! DO Y'ALL KNOW HOW FUCKING ANNOYING THAT IS???? EVERYTIME I GO THROUGH THEIR TAGS. LIKE FUCK!!!! looking up either of their names ANYWHWERE and it's either got someone going: "Katsuki bullies masaru/masaru does nothing to stop mitsuki from abusing Katsuki" or "Katsuki's a bully because of mitsuki/mitsuki physically abuses Katsuki and that's why he acts like that" SHUTUPPLLLL THAT'S ALL I SEE!!! HIVE MIND. FUCK YOU!!!! it's so.... fucking annoying to see. GENUINELY.

yes I take this so personal, esp because my source memories are COMPLETELY different from what people are talking about. I don't care. BRUH AND EVEN THEN WHY ARE WE MAKING SO MANY ASSUMPTIONS FROM LITERALLY ONE FUCKKNG SCEBEN IN THE MANGA/ANIME??????? THEY BARELY HAD SCREENTIME THIS ENTIRE MANGA. fuck offfff!!!! they love him so much, he is loved!!!! he just had an ego problem and he's an idiot boy(affectionate) I'm never listening when people start talking about all that bs and making shit up and saying it's canon... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

EVERYBODY LOVES TO DO KACCHAN WRONG, EVEN HIS OWN FUCKING MANGAKA!!!!! LIKE FUFK 😭 ...it's been one hell of a crashout month, so sorry (no I'm not, I needed this😌)

TLDR; We needed so much more from everybody in the story and Kacchan deserved so much better. And Izuku too honestly... And I will be snarling and bitinf angrily at anyone who speaks bad on/does the Bakugou's wrong. 🔪🔪🔪

[automatismoateo]

researching a new religion has made the concept of religion at all feel unbelievably silly via /r/atheism

researching a new religion has made the concept of religion at all feel unbelievably silly i was raised devoutly christian. i believed in god wholeheartedly. in my early teens, however, my belief in god utterly dissipated, complicated by my queerness. i was still forced into christian spaces for many more years to come, and, after having some extremely bad experiences as a result of christianity, going to church would make me spiral into panic attacks. i hated religion for how it had wrecked my life. i was so bitter for so long. i’ve since come to terms with religion. i simply do not care anymore. i’m completely indifferent to concepts that used to torment me, like the benevolence/malevolence of god and the afterlife. the concepts are now about as fantastical to me as unicorns, so i don’t waste my energy contemplating them anymore. honestly, i’m much happier for it. recently, though, i started analyzing a literary character with an incredibly similar background to me. this character was devoutly christian, realized he was gay, and was tormented by the belief he’d go to hell. he found peace by casting aside christianity and filling that void with hellenism. so i’ve been researching hellenism intensely for the sake of enhancing my understanding of his character. my tire got slashed on the interstate yesterday, and, even though i have absolutely no reason to believe that the hellenic gods are real, i said a prayer to hermes hodios, being the patron god of travelers, as i was stranded on the highway and could’ve been hit at any moment. i figured i had nothing to lose, and i’ve never prayed to that god before, so i may as well give it a shot. when i was safe, i left some coins on the side of the road to thank him. but then i was like. dude. what the actual fuck am i doing, coming from the modern united states and praying to hermes? i have no evidence to believe that hermes exists. but who has any evidence to believe that any god exists, really? it was in this moment of clarity that i was stricken by the absurdity of religion as a concept. like, you can choose to adopt any religion without any foundation of evidence, and people are just expected to respect that. i can’t think of any other domain in life where this is the case. it’s honestly unthinkable that, from my background, i could persuade myself of the existence of the hellenic gods — but i’d guess that the large majority of religious converts are exactly like me, literally choosing just to believe whatever. this isn’t just about hellenism. i’d venture to say that i prefer hellenism as a religion to abrahamic religions, so this is not me saying that hellenism is particularly absurd; hermes is just as real to me as yahweh. it’s that the foundation of any religion is the choice to believe what reason and evidence contradict. this isn’t even a hate post. it’s just kind of like… how is religion still so widely practiced in a world where we have scientific explanations for things? blows my damn mind. edit: upon rereading this post, i realize that i answered my own question in my post. how is religion still so widely practiced? because people are desperate. the fear that drove me to seek protection from hermes hodios is the same fear that drives my brother to church on sunday. Submitted December 02, 2024 at 06:54AM by pigladpigdad (From Reddit https://ift.tt/a7sSWuh)