#long live the ‘zoo
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ram-me-ramiel · 23 days ago
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Now that its hot out i gotta go to the zoo asap
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bunny--manders · 2 years ago
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Saw some really weird animals at the zoo
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jules-van-hering · 11 months ago
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survived the trip with mum and even had fun most of the time. yay.
no further development in the emotional department tho, as expected. just defensiveness instead of curiosity and an open mind. and then I basically had to comfort her when she felt like she failed as a mother, because I couldn't trust her to be able to manage those emotions alone. she's never done emotional work on that level, so (:
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roocomehome · 1 year ago
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ough.. good morning everyone :) I had a great sleep, although my PND is rlly bad so my throat hurts soo much and there's so much mucus in the back of my throat >:( But on a much brighter side, the trio (me, my "husband", and my "brother") are gonna be going to the Zoo tmmrw :3cc
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cappucosmico · 1 year ago
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the most devastating shit on earth is that i had a friend in middle school who was like my ride or die. but her only "social media" was Google Fucking Plus. so naturally i have lost her in the wastelands of that shitstorm. but i cannot find her ever again bc she has like The most common name on god's green earth so one facebook search for people with her name in the bronx yields like a million fucking results. so imagine if she's not even in the bronx anymore. 10 million results
#and if by some will from god she's out there wondering about me occasionally too She'd also be shit out of luck#bc my first name is different now. not even close to my birthname. and my last name is a nightmare#i didn't learn how to spell that shit until i was 6 and only so soon bc my mother set aside time to teach me specifically how to spell it#like it was its own school lesson. How to spell my own last name. so i'm not going to imagine someone could ever just Remember That#a decade down the fucking line#but i miss her often. she showed me inuyasha for the first time before rodan even did#we had the most awkward innocent scared quivering animal type lesbianism happening.#i would walk her home even though it meant making my 10 minute walk home into like 45 minutes#she lived in one of the projects and she snuck me in her apartment a few times when her dad wasn't home. that's when we watched inuyasha#one of my ''gifts'' i remember so specifically when we had decided we were dating is. i gave her. a tiny bag of chips.#blinks for a long time at you. i got her A Bag Of Chips.#💀😭 She should've killed me where i stood........#we once kissed because someone said they'd give us 20 dollars for it. We did not get the 20 dollars.#i was mad bc i wanted to split it with her and get snackies at the deli after school together or something. kills my elf#WAAAH i miss her. i miss da bronx too. one day i'm gonna drag rodan downstate to see it all#i want to take him to the bronx zoo and the botanical gardens. but also i just checked and nearly scumpt at the prices#37 DOLLARS..... 💀⁉️ i remember. (said oldly) i remember when it was. SEVEN DOLLARS!!!#whstever fucking happened to wednesdays you get in free. huh#i'm too scared to even look at the gardens now bc Nearly 40 tickets a person. oh My God. vomitworthy#wait oh my god what do thebuses and subway cost now. oh no oh no oh no#okay it's okay. it's a 40 cent difference. idr what a metrocard used to cost so it means nothing that it's a dollar now#but also Why the fuck do the express buses cost SEVEN DOLLARS.... 😭 brother bring that shit back down to five NEOW!!!#it's not even double the standard fare anymore. even if i round up the standard fare That's More Than Double. what#i hate inflation i hate inflation i hate#i'm rambling. walks away fast And my ass
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ersatz-anomaly · 11 months ago
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You would really wish to live through the boredom beyond the heat death of the universe? An eternity of nothingness beyond your own senses depending on the type of immortality
"immortality sucks because all your friends die" all your friends die anyway. those we do not mourn are those who mourn us.
"immortality sucks because you forget who you are" we always forget who we are. do you remember who you were at four years of age? who you were at fourteen? "who i am" is a shadow cast on the wall.
"immortality sucks because" skill issue. skill issue. skill issue. give me your liver
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99orphans · 4 months ago
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guys, i just had the most amazing idea
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nerdfuratu · 9 months ago
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Really tired of people talking about homeless people like they are a different species .... even people who "mean well" and are saying "good concerned things" about it sound just. Idk sounds like the way people talk about stray animals to me. I was homeless on and off from the time I turned 18 to this year and it's like. Dude I'm a PERSON not a charity case or a statistic stop discussing homelessness like it's a sad little game and people without SHELTER are just your little playthings that you decide to assume the life story of (which usually involves an assumption of drug abuse whether thats true or not). Good or bad, people assume things about the lives of homeless folk so quickly without ever thinking that they are just PEOPLE who yes usually are hurting but it's because the world doesn't ever actually want to do anything to help, they just want to post "aw this poor guy:((((" on Facebook to get their charity for the week and then have a discussion on whether or not it's okay to call the police on homeless people. Maybe don't call the police unless there's a FUCKING CRIME? Idk maybe stop and think that homeless folk dont all have a hive mind and are instead individual people with individual situations that cant just all be seen and treated the same. Maybe just stop and think for three seconds that everybody is fucking struggling these days, and it's not hard to have compassion for people struggling that deeply, at least enough to treat them like a fellow human. PEOPLE who are in pain should not be discussed like an interesting little piece of tumblr discourse, like they are subhuman, but they are.
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why-animals-do-the-thing · 1 year ago
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I promised you some lions! Let's talk about manes, males, and management.
This is Tandie, the current male lion at the Woodland Park Zoo.
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Notice anything odd about him? He's got one of those hilarious awkward teenager manes. Except... this cat is nine years old.
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I was, of course, immediately curious.
Manes serve a lot of purposes for male lions, including being an indicator of health and fitness - it's actually a sexually selected trait and a social signal. Mane texture / hair quality / length is dependent on nutrition and the body having energy to grow (and carry around!) that much hair! The color is also a signal: males with darker manes have been found to have higher testosterone levels.
In one research report, wild males were much more likely to avoid a lion decoy when it had a longer or darker mane - but the girls really loved a dark mane. It's thought this is because a long, dark mane is an indicator of mate quality. Males with longer, darker manes have higher testosterone and were pretty healthy: meaning they had more energy for fighting, had a better chance of recovering if they got injured, and generally had a higher rate of offspring survival. Manes matter!
So, back to Tandie. He was actually born at the Woodland Park Zoo in 2014 alongside two brothers, to dad Xerxes and mother Adia.
This was Xerxes (rip).
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Obviously, a very large, dark, lush mane on Xerxes here. So where did these blond muttonchops come from on his son?
I asked the zoo docents and got an answer that didn't make a lot of sense. They told me that after the three cubs grew into adolescents, they were moved to the Oakland Zoo together. But living together suppressed his testosterone, and he never grew a mane.
Hmmmm.
Here's a photo from 2016, when the brothers debuted at Oakland. They're a year and a half old in this photo.
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(Photo Credit: Oakland Zoo)
And here's from an announcement for their third birthday.
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(Photo credit: Oakland Zoo)
Okay, so these dudes obviously all were growing manes as of 2017. I think Tandie is the one on the left in the first photo, and laying down in the middle on the second. What happened?
I was just in the Bay Area for a zoo road trip, of course I went to Oakland and tracked down a docent to ask some questions.
It turns out that shortly after the brothers turned three, they started acting like adult male lions: they started scuffling regularly. It's a normal social thing for male lions to live in groups, called coalitions, but according to my lion experts there's generally a baseline level of some social jostling within them. It wasn't quite clear from what the docent said if they couldn't manage the boys together, or if they just wanted to avoid the scratches and small wounds that result from normal lion behavior. Regardless, they put all three of the boys on testosterone blockers in order to be able to keep them together as a social group.
Now, I don't know a lot about the use of hormone alteration as a form of captive animal management, except in the case of birth control. I don't think it's something that's unethical - there was just a webinar on it that I saw go by - but I don't think it's commonly done with big cats. Lions have kind of complicated reproductive cycles, and for instance, we've been learning that female lions can take much longer to come into estrus again than expected after coming off hormonal birth control.
In males, testosterone blockers (or being neutered) means they lose their manes. This is why a lot of rescues will do a vasectomy on their males instead of a neuter - it allows them to keep their mane and the social signals that accompany it.
Tandie returned home to Woodland Park Zoo after Xerxes passed in early 2022, and the docent told me all of the lions had been off their blockers "for while." I'd guess those things happened around the same time, since bringing the trio down to a duo at Oakland would reduce some of the social tensions.
Hormones are such interesting things, though. One of Tandie's brothers has a full mane again, and the other is still totally mane-less.
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As for Tandie, his mane is growing back in, and it looks like he might rival his dad for length and coloration.
He started here, in February:
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Yesterday:
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What a difference four months (and maybe proximity to a girl) makes!
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saltymarshmall0w · 2 months ago
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Demon Twins AU where Danny came to Wayne Manor with Damian
Dick threw himself on the couch next to Danyal. Damian was out of the house with Bruce for the next 2-4 hours after Danyal implied Damian would love to go with the zoo with his "dad".
The family of Bats couldn't help but notice their newest pair of members acted different when apart from each other.
He nudged Danyal, ignoring the feeling of a concealed weapon in his baggy pants.
Danyal looked over, raising his eyebrows, "Huh?"
"I've been curious, Danny why are you so..."
"Normal--- While Damian is a brat?" Danyal flipped through a couple channels as he spoke, still unable to make a choice on a show.
"I wouldn't put it like that, but yeah."
"er... so as the second heir, Mother decided to focus my education on, like, blending in to any environment for infiltration purposes. She even sent me to live with a few foster families so I would get an idea of how American families think an act." He stopped channel surfing so he could list them off on his fingers, "It was two weeks with the Burns, like, a day with the Mortons, and six months with the Fentons."
"Six months?" Dick questioned, alarmed. That was a long time for an infiltration mission for someone his age. How was he not attached?
Tim, who had taken up residency out of stabbing range for this conversation, set up with his lap top and a case file spoke up, "So, you're just masking all the time?"
"Affirmative." Danyal answered in the exact same way Damian did.
"Then why is Damian so..." Tim followed up, referencing his and Damian's contemptuous relationship.
"He's throwing fits to prove to me Father won't throw us out." Danyal shrugged. He ended up settling on an Animal documentary Damian would like.
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purrlstar · 1 year ago
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still thinking about this one user I saw trying to compare statistics of S/A to validate his traumatic experience and show people in the group chat that it happens to men too by quoting/posting cis men graphs and pie charts but... he was a trans man
like... ? I get not wanting to invalidate your own gender when talking about something traumatic such as this but he was not hiding the fact he was trans by doing so/it was openly available on all his profiles so like ?????
anyway this user also said looking at animals fucking in general is illegal and you'll go to real prison for seeing squirrels doing it in your backyard so I hope his mental illness gets better and he heals from all his trauma fr.
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sm-baby · 7 months ago
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The Eyes Of Cats MASTERPOST
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Street Humans / Introduction
Domestic Humans
Shelter Humans/Alien Alphabet
Aliens - Alien adaptation
Hucode
Where do Aliens/house cats live?
Do videogames/phones/movies still exist?
Doodle dumps:
Alure and her daughters!
Aliens Sketches by Beau
Eyes Of Cats as Cats???
Hold
FAQ and BOUNDERIES under the cut
FAQ
" What happened to CAT cats?" - They have been extinct long before the invasion, not including big and wild cats though " Do the humans have cat DNA?" - Nope! They are fully human! I just make them look like cats as an artistic choice "What time frame?" - its still 2024, the invasion started at around 2008 "How did Aliens invade?" - The Zoo theory is real in this world! Aliens kinda just stepped in cuz we were destroying ourselves. " Do Aliens do [insert think that we do with cats]" - If there is a human/cat equivalent, there is a Alien/human equivalent! - that includes toys, memes, dressing them up, weed(catnip) and even the alien equivalent of beastiality (You cannot kiss the aliens that's illegal) " What happens if Humans try to attack/shoot/stab an alien?" - They don't die like we do! That's like scratching at them
BOUNDERIES
"Can I make OCs In TEOC?" - Yess!! Multiple people already have and they make me so happy! do whatever, as long as you're happy and having fun!! " Can I make Fanfics/dubs/fanart?" - Yes and please show me!! That would be lovely!! " Can I ship the characters/self ships/ OC x Canon?" - go for it girl!! as long you're not a proshipper you're free!
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rynwrites4fun · 2 days ago
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Across The Hall (9) | Michael Robinavitch x Neighbor/Teacher ! Reader
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Michael Robinavitch x F ! Neighbor/Teacher ! Reader
Summary: You and Michael now live parallel lives—close in distance but distant as strangers. After a school field trip to the zoo, you get injured and are rushed to the Pittsburg Trauma Medical Center, straight to Michaels ER.
Word: 4971
Warnings: Age Gap (Mid 20s/Early 50s), Head Injury (Factured Skull), Bleeding from the ear, and Vomiting
Authors Note: Hello! Thank you for all the love on the last part. Lol I love seeing your guys comments and reactions. They crack me upppp. Couple more parts and this fic with come to a end🥲. Depending on season 2 maybe I'll write a spin off/Continuation of some sort 🤨??? or maybe I'll leave a good thing be. Idk this is all up in the air and just ideas. If I did continue it won't be until next year YIKES. Long way from now. But if you guys want it i'll prob do it lol very much a people pleaser 😭 also determined to finsihed eyes on me lol okay anyway. enjoy!!! - ryn
3 Months Later
Since that day—that morning where it ended—you and Michael had kept your distance. It wasn’t easy. Living across the hall meant you still saw each other constantly. You crossed paths in the elevator, passed in the lobby, caught glimpses through cracked doors. But it was different now. Cautious. Careful. The warmth was gone.
It was like reverting back to how things were in the beginning—only worse. Not acquaintances. Less than that. Strangers.
There were no more lingering glances, no more easy conversations or shared errands. No more moments where he helped you without being asked, like he just knew. Now it was all stiff nods and the occasional muttered “hey” or “hi,” as if everything between never happened or existed.
Your lives—once a single, tangled line—had split. Still running close, still crossing the same thresholds, but no longer connected. Now they moved in parallel. Close enough to feel, never close enough to touch.
You missed him. Not just being around him—but him. The version only you knew. The one who stayed late, who looked out for you, who let his guard down when it was just the two of you.
Now, it was like he barely looked your way. Just quick hellos, if that. And even those felt heavy.
Still, every time you saw him, you wondered if he missed you too.
And maybe—just maybe—you knew he missed you too.
But neither of you said a word.
Michael had been the first person to remind you what it felt like to be truly cared for. Losing that connection hurt deeply. But even without him, you were learning how to stand on your own. You are in a better place
After years stuck in a toxic, neglectful relationship with Aiden, you finally chose yourself. No more waiting to be seen or heard. You were rebuilding, piece by piece—stronger, quieter, more certain.
It was something Michael said the last time you saw him that stayed with you. His voice was calm but firm: “You need to figure yourself out. Really figure it out. What you want, what you feel… why you push people away when they treat you the way you deserve. Because if you don’t, you’re just going to keep hurting the people who care about you.”
Those words gave you the push you needed to walk away.
After breaking up with Aiden, the silence was deafening at first. No shouting, no blame, no empty promises—just quiet. And for once, that quiet felt like space you could breathe in, not suffocate.
You weren’t completely free yet. There were days when memories clawed at you, when loneliness crept in like a shadow. But with each morning you woke up without him, you felt a little stronger. A little more whole.
And Michael? Seeing him after everything—it wasn’t easy. There was a tension, a distance between you that hadn’t been there before. You still felt guilty for how things ended with him. But beneath it all, you knew one thing: his words had helped you find yourself again. Even if your connection had changed, that truth remained.
This morning, you had left your apartments at the same time, walking side by side in silence. No words. No eye contact. Just the sound of your footsteps echoing down the hallway—too close, too quiet.
He let you step into the elevator first, then slipped into his usual corner—like always. The space between you felt heavier than it should’ve in such a small box.
And every time you rode the elevator with him now, your mind drifted back to that morning. The one where everything shifted. The one where he had looked at you like he couldn’t wait another second. Where his hands trembled on your skin and nothing else existed. That morning where—for a moment—you both stopped pretending.
Now, you only pretended. Pretended not to miss it. Pretended not to look at him out of the corner of your eye. Pretended he wasn’t right there, close enough to touch, but choosing not to.
Then, suddenly—you don’t know why—you turned your head and glanced at him over your shoulder.
“Good morning,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper, a small, uncertain smile on your lips.
Michael stood there, sunglasses on, coffee in hand, AirPods in. He didn’t respond. Didn’t nod. Normally, he’d say hello—or at least acknowledge you—but today wasn’t one of those days.
Maybe he hadn’t heard you.
But he had.
Because the truth was, he missed you. Every time he saw you, felt your presence so close yet unreachable, it tore at something inside him.
But talking—to break the silence—meant opening a door he wasn’t sure he could close. It meant risking everything he’d been trying to hold together.
The silence in that elevator was suffocating.
The doors slid open.
You stepped out first, heart pounding, words caught in your throat. By the time the two of you made it through the lobby and out to the street, you found yourself saying, “Have a good day.”
Still, he ignored you.
Without a word, he turned and walked in the opposite direction.
—--
It had been a good day.
There was a field trip to the Philadelphia Zoo, and the fifth graders had been buzzing with excitement since they got off the bus. They darted from exhibit to exhibit in loose clusters, calling out animal facts they half-remembered from class, pointing at the gorillas, giggling at the flamingos, and dramatically gagging when they passed smelly enclosures. 
You smiled through the chaos, constantly scanning the crowd, reminding them to walk—not run—while answering a steady stream of “Can we go there next?” and “Do we have to stay with our buddy?”
By the time the group began gathering near the exit to prepare for departure, the kids were hot, tired, and still somehow full of energy—trading animal facts, snacks, and complaints about the long walk back to the bus.
You turned to check on one of your students—and your foot caught on a backpack left sprawled across the pavement.
You didn’t even have time to brace yourself.
You went down hard.
Your head hit the ground with a sickening crack.
Everything went black for a moment.
You passed out for a few minutes before slowly waking up. When your eyes opened, your other 5th grade teachers and your students gathered around you, worried. 
A sharp pain pulsed through your head. When you touched the side of your face, your fingers came away wet—your ear was bleeding.
You tried to sit up, but your body felt heavy and unsteady. Panic flickered in your chest.
“Are you okay, Miss?” a student asked, voice trembling.
You forced a small, shaky smile. “I’ll be okay,” you whispered, though you weren’t sure.
One of the teachers noticed the blood coming from your ear when you touched it. They knew something was wrong—you needed to get to the hospital.
You tried to protest, insisting you were fine, but the other teachers wouldn’t hear it. Their concern was firm—they knew you needed medical attention. They called an ambulance, and took care of your kids as you headed to the hospital.
“Okay, we’re headed to PTMC,” the driver said to his partner in the back with you.
Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center. No. You didn’t want to go there. Michael worked there.
“What? N-no, can’t you take me to Allegheny?” you asked, your voice shaking as you glanced up at the paramedic trying to stem the bleeding from your ear.
“Miss, PTMC is closer. Allegheny is too far,” the paramedic replied, his tone calm but unyielding.
Suddenly, a wave of nausea hit you hard. Before you could stop it, you threw up—your body reacting to the pain and shock.
The paramedics quickly handed you a bag, their expressions gentle but focused. Your head throbbed fiercely, and the thought of seeing Michael at PTMC made the room feel even more overwhelming.
You swallowed hard, gripping the stretcher tightly as the ambulance doors shut and the vehicle started moving. Outside, the world blurred past the windows, but inside, your mind spun with pain, fear, and an ache far deeper than the injury itself.
—-
It was busy in the ER today—loud, chaotic, the usual blur of motion and noise. Monitors beeped steadily in the background, gurneys rolled down hallways, voices called out orders and vitals in clipped tones. The scent of antiseptic clung to the air, mixing with the sharper tang of adrenaline and urgency.
Michael worked hard and efficiently, his hands steady and his voice calm as he checked charts, issued instructions, and answered questions. Every task was precise and practiced. But despite his focused exterior, his heart wasn’t fully in it today. Beneath the surface, his mind drifted elsewhere.
For some reason, you were heavy on his mind—ever since he saw you that morning in the elevator. Though he went about his work with his usual efficiency, every time he glanced up or caught a quiet moment, his thoughts slipped back to you. That brief encounter stirred something beneath his calm exterior, making it harder than usual to focus.
Even as he moved through the chaos of the ER, you lingered in the corners of his mind—a quiet weight he couldn’t shake. Each task felt automatic, mechanical, like he was running on autopilot 
At the nurses’ station, Dana glanced toward Michael as he passed by, pausing briefly. His eyes scanned the triage monitor for a moment before he continued on his rounds.
“What’s his vibe today?” Dana asked, peering over the top of her glasses as she flipped through a stack of charts.
Jack didn’t look up from the computer. “Full-on rain cloud.”
Dana let out a quiet laugh. “That bad?”
Jack finally glanced up. “Yeah. Barely talking. Just doing his rounds like a ghost.”
Dana frowned slightly. She hadn’t had a real catch-up with Robby in a while.
“I don’t think I’ve heard him say anything beyond patient loads and charts in weeks,” she murmured.
Jack leaned back in his chair. “Yeah. He’s been keeping things tight. You can tell he’s holding something in… and it’s not just stress.”
Dana sighed, looking up from the computer. “It’s been—what? Three months since they stopped talking?”
“Yeah,” Jack said, watching Michael enter an exam room. “He’s doing okay. Better than a few months ago, for sure. But I think today’s one of those days where he’s really missing her.”
Jack added quietly, “It’s hard to tell with him sometimes. He’s always been good at hiding what’s really going on.”
Dana didn’t respond right away, distracted by the faint sound of sirens growing louder in the distance.
“Looks like a bus just pulled up,” she said, glancing toward the ambulance bay.
Jack turned, following her line of sight. Through the glass doors, he spotted the rig backing in, its lights still flashing. The paramedics moved quickly, unloading a gurney from the back, getting ready to wheel someone inside.
“I got it,” he said, already moving toward the doors.
“Alright, what do we got?” 
Jack reached the stretcher as the paramedic began briefing him. 
“Mid-20s female, teacher on a zoo field trip. She tripped over a backpack and hit her head on the pavement. She lost consciousness briefly after the fall. There’s blood coming from her ear. She vomited on the way here and reported dizziness and nausea and is currently somewhat disoriented.”
“Exam Room 13’s open!” Dana called out as she overheard part of the paramedics’ briefing.
The gurney rolled past the nurses’ station in a blur of motion—wheels rattling, footsteps fast. Dana glanced up from her charts and files to get a quick look at the incoming patient… and froze.
Her eyes widened, recognition flickering across her face as she stood up straighter, instinctively stepping out onto the floor. Her heart skipped. Her eyes narrowed, trying to make sure she wasn’t seeing things.
It was you.
You looked pale, out of it—a plastic bag clutched in your hand, vomit on your shirt, and a smear of dried blood trailing from your ear. But it was unmistakably you.
The same woman she’d seen, playing around with Michael in aisle 9 of the grocery store fighting over cookies. 
Jack was already directing the paramedics to Exam Room 13, calling for trauma supplies as he moved alongside the gurney.
Dana stood abruptly, eyes darting around the ER. Looking for Michael.
Shit. Where’s Robby? Which wing did he go? She thought.
“Jack!” she called, rushing after him. She fell into step beside him as they wheeled you. 
“What?” he asked, not slowing.
“It’s her!” she hissed, voice low but urgent.
“Who?”
“The friend-neighbor-almost-something-—her,” Dana said, eyes wide. “Robby’s girl.”
Dana watched as Jack’s head whipped to face her. His expression shifts—from confusion to clarity, then to something dangerously close to dread.
Jack stopped short, turning just in time to see the gurney disappear into Exam Room 13. His expression changed instantly.
He looks at Dana again “That was her? Are you sure?” 
“Yes!”
“Shit,” he muttered under his breath.
“What do we do?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Jack didn’t hesitate. “We need to tell him.”
Dana’s brows knit. “Are you sure? After everything… you know how torn up he was…well still is” she trailed off, uncertain. “I mean, do you really think that’s a good idea?”
“Yes,” Jack said firmly. “He still cares about her, still feels things for her. You know he does.”
Dana hesitated, lips pressed into a line.
“He’s not over her, Dana. Not even close. No matter how messy the fallout was, he’d want to know. And if he finds out she was here and we kept it from him…”
“He’d never forgive us,” Dana finished, already nodding.
Jack’s jaw was tight. “Exactly.”
“Look I’ll take care of her, find him as soon as you can and tell him. Okay?” 
“Alright” they quickly went off in different directions. 
The harsh fluorescent lights overhead felt like too much—too bright, too sharp—cutting through the fog in your skull. Your stomach churned again, sour and unsettled. You’d already thrown up in the ambulance, the evidence smeared across your shirt, and the nausea still clung to you, heavy and unrelenting. It was like your body couldn’t decide if it was in pain or panic.
The nurse—Princess, according to her badge—helped you onto the exam table from the gurney, guiding you gently as you sat down.
“Let’s get you settled,” she said calmly.
You nodded, though the movement made your head throb and your stomach turn.
Princess moved with calm precision, wrapping a cuff around your arm to check your blood pressure and attaching monitors to track your vitals. She was already prepping the IV, her hands steady, practiced.
“Pressure’s a little low,” she murmured, mostly to herself, then offered you a small, reassuring smile.
You closed your eyes as the needle slid into your arm, trying to focus on her calm voice instead of the pounding in your head.
She grabbed a damp cloth and gently began wiping the vomit from your shirt, doing the best she could to clean you up while keeping you comfortable.
“You’re doing okay,” she said softly. “Just stay with me.”
Princess noticed the shift in your expression—the way your face paled. Without a word, she grabbed a plastic basin and placed it gently in your lap.
“Just in case,” she said softly.
A moment later, the door opened and a man stepped in, wearing navy scrubs and a calm, focused expression.
“I’m Dr. Jack Abbot,” he said as he approached. “I’ll be taking care of you today.”
Jack
The name stood out. Michael’s friend—he’d mentioned him a couple of times. Quick stories, casual references. You never met him, but the name stuck.
Now here he was, standing in front of you. And suddenly, it all felt just a little more real.
To Jack, you were more than just another patient. You were her—the neighbor, the teacher, the one Michael couldn’t stop thinking about. The one who shattered him.
He was torn. Part of him wanted to resent you. Another part couldn’t help but feel sorry—for both you and Michael. It hurt watching Michael suffer in silence, burying his feelings under layers of composure. But there was sadness for you too—because Jack knew you were still clinging to something broken. A relationship that should’ve ended long ago.
But none of that mattered now. He needed to take care of you—not only because it was his job, but for Michael. 
You and Jack locked eyes. Neither of you spoke, but something passed between you—an unspoken recognition. You both knew each other through Michael, even if you’d never met before. And in that silence, there was a quiet acknowledgment of everything that wasn’t being said.
“Let’s get you checked out,” he said gently.
“Can you tell me what happened?” He pulled on a pair of gloves and waited patiently as you gathered your thoughts.
“I tripped over a student’s backpack. I fell… hit my head on the side,” you said, your voice a little shaky.
Princess, at the computer nearby, typed quickly, capturing every detail.
“You passed out? For how long?”
“I don’t know. No more than 5 minutes?”
“And you feel nauseous?” Jack takes notice of the dried blood from your ear. 
“Yes” He brought his hands up, feeling your head, and then he felt it. A squishy part on the side of your head. 
Shit. 
Jack’s eyes narrowed as he gently pressed around the swollen area, careful not to cause more pain. His mind raced—without a CT scan, he knew the injury was serious. How severe, though, remained uncertain.
“Okay, stay still for me,” he said, his voice calm but firm. “We need to get a CT scan to find out exactly what we’re dealing with.” He says to the Princess, but also to you.
You nodded, swallowing hard, the dizziness and nausea pressing harder with every breath.
Princess looked up from her computer. “I’m alerting neurology and radiology now.”
Jack forced a steady breath, trying to stay composed though inside, worry tightened its grip.
Your stomach lurched, and you vomited into the plastic basin Princess had handed you earlier. Jack stepped back slightly, giving you room but keeping his eyes locked on you, watching for any sign of worsening condition.
Princess moved quickly to help, she handed you a clean towel and quietly assured you as you wiped your face.
Princess stepped over, grabbing a pair of gloves and a warm saline wipe.
You flinched as she dabbed gently at the dried blood near your ear, trying not to let it sting. 
“Sorry,” Princess murmured, careful and quiet.
Jack watched closely but because the signs were impossible to ignore. The dried blood near your ear, the squishy spot on the scalp, the nausea and dizziness—they all pointed to something serious. Possibly a skull fracture.
Until the scan came back, there wasn’t much he could confirm. But in his gut, he already knew this wasn’t minor.
He reached for a chart from the counter, flipping it open and beginning to write. His pen scratched quickly across the paper, but he kept looking up every few seconds—checking your breathing, your pallor, the way you struggled to keep your eyes open.
Princess adjusted the bed slightly, propping it up so you could sit comfortably. She hands you a new plastic basin. She takes the used wipes and throws it in the trash along with her gloves and goes to wash her hands. 
You glanced at him, searching. “Did… did Michael send you?”
Princess moved to gather the extra materials they hadn’t used, placing them neatly on the supply rack. Her movements were quiet, efficient, but her attention never strayed far. She listens closely. 
Jack shook his head. “No. Robby doesn’t know you’re here… at least not yet.”
At that, Princess froze for just a moment. She didn’t know the full story, but it was clear you and Michael were connected. Her eyes flicked to Jack, widening slightly. A silent exchange passed between them—brief, but unmistakable.
Jack sighed inwardly. He knew exactly what she was thinking—the bet she and several other staff had made a few weeks ago at the bar about Michael having a girlfriend. Now was not the time.
His eyes locked onto hers, sharp, silently warning: Don’t even think about it. He shook his head slightly.
You hadn’t noticed the exchange. Your eyes closed, feeling dizzy, your head throbbing. The words slipped out before you could stop them. “That’s the last thing I want.”
Princess gave an innocent, almost playful raise of her eyebrows, but beneath it was something calculating. She grabbed a chart out of Jack's hands and scurried out of the room, leaving a faint echo of footsteps behind her.
Jack remained still, watching her retreat. His jaw tightened, mouth pressed into a hard line. In the ER, whispers traveled faster than code blue alarms—money and rumors would be swirling in less than a few minutes. 
Jack exhaled slowly, closing his eyes for a brief second. He’ll deal with it later he tells himslef.
Jack leaned back against the counter, arms crossed. For a moment, he didn’t say anything. Just studied you—pale, clearly worn down.
You swallowed hard, the dizziness still buzzing faintly at the edges of your mind.
“I don’t want to make things harder for him.”
“He’ll know,” Jack said quietly, his voice flat with certainty. “He’ll come rushing in here once he finds out—I guarantee it.”
“He likes you—a lot, cares for you deeply” he said, matter-of-fact, like it was the plainest truth in the world. “I’ve seen him talk about people before—patients, colleagues, even exes. But never like this.”
Your eyes flicked open. Jack wasn’t looking at you anymore.
You didn’t interrupt. His words caught you off guard—soft but heavy.
“With you… it’s different,” Jack said. “He’s not the guy who makes big declarations. But his actions? Loud as hell.”
He stepped closer, eyes searching yours—not confrontational, just honest.
“That day—after everything fell apart—he barely said a word.”
Jack’s voice dropped. “He didn’t say much. But I’ve known him long enough to read between the lines. Michael’s the silent type. Shove it down, suffer alone. That’s always been his way. He doesn’t fall easily. And he sure as hell doesn’t bounce back quickly.”
And didn’t you know it—you ruined what you two had. You looked down at your hands.
“I didn’t mean to hurt him,” you said.
Jack finally met your eyes. There wasn’t anger—just a tired kind of clarity. “Maybe not. But it still happened.”
There was no heat in his voice. No judgment. Just the truth.
“He’ll handle it. He always does.”
He backed toward the door.
“My instinct is to tell you to continue stay away from him... keep the distance. To protect him.”
A beat.
“But even with all that… there’s a part of me that still hopes it works out between you two.”
He held your gaze.
“If there’s even a small chance you feel the same—don’t waste it.”
Then, firm again, “But don’t show up in his orbit unless you’re sure.”
“I’ll be back to get you for the CT scan. If you need anything, press the call button.”
And with that, he was gone.
Dana had spent the last several minutes searching—looking for Michael. The constant rush of the ER had kept her moving nonstop, priorities shifting by the second as new cases rolled in. Between the noise, the pages, and the demands of back-to-back emergencies, she hadn’t had a spare moment—until now. Finally able to look, she peeked into each exam room as she passed, also scanning for Michael.
Finally, she spotted him. 
Standing in the doorway, she called out, “Dr. Robby?”
Michael was looking up from the chart he was filling out while Victoria Javadi, the med student currently shadowing him, checked the patient under his supervision.
“Can… I talk to you outside?”
Michael glanced at her, then back at Javadi.
“Hold it down here. I’ll be right back,” he said, giving her a nod before stepping out into the ER floor with Dana.
“What’s up?” he asked, arms crossing over his chest.
Dana swallowed. “Robby, she’s here. Exam Room 13.”
“Who’s here?” His brow furrowed, clearly not understanding.
“She’s here,” Dana said again, slower this time, her eyes locking onto him.
Then it hit him.
His stomach dropped.
You’re here.
“W–what?” he said, hard and sharp, disbelief cutting through his voice.
“The bus pulled in a while ago-"
“How long ago?!” His voice rose, sharp.
“Half an hour—she hit her head. Took a fall during the field trip—”
Michael’s heart skipped, then kicked into overdrive. He didn’t wait for the rest.
He turned on his heel and bolted, weaving through the ER, past gurneys, staff, and startled patients.
He barely registered people calling his name.
Didn’t care about the chart he’d left behind, the patient waiting for him at 7 with Victoria, or the conversation he’d been having seconds ago.
All he could hear was Dana’s voice echoing in his head.
She hit her head.
His hands were already trembling. Thoughts circled like vultures—loud, fast, frantic. He didn’t know how bad it was. Was it minor? Maybe. But probably not—Not if the ambulance brought her in.
And then another thought struck—hard and bitter.
He’d ignored you this morning.
You’d smiled at him. Said, “Good morning.” Told him to have a good day.
And he hadn’t said anything back.
He’d brushed past you like you didn’t matter. And now—now this.
His chest felt tight. His feet moved faster.
Room 13. Room 13. Room 13.
Nothing else mattered. Not now.
Because you were here.
And you were hurt.
 He rounded the corner too fast, nearly slipped—caught himself—nearly crashing into Jack as he stepped out of Exam Room 13.
“WOAH!” Jack exclaimed, throwing an arm out to steady them both.
“Robby—”
“I gotta get to her—I” Michael said breathlessly, trying to push past him.
Jack grabbed his shoulders, holding him in place. “Stop, she’s gone.”
Robby froze. His heart plummeted, eyes going wide as the blood drained from his face. He couldn’t breathe—he just stood there, stunned, like the ground had been ripped out from under him.
Jack’s eyes widened as he realized. “Oh—shit—no! Gone as in, not in the room! I took her to her CT scan!”
Michael’s breath shuddered out of him. He stumbled back a step, dragging a hand down his face.
“FUCK, Abbot!” he snapped, voice hoarse. “Next time, maybe lead with that!!!”
Jack winced, “Yeah. Okay. Fair. Sorry!” He says quickly.
Michael looked like he was about to break. Without hesitation, Jack grabbed his elbow and pulled him inside your exam room, closing the door behind them.
Jack softened. “You want to sit for a second?”
Michael shook his head, jaw tight. “No. Just… give me a minute.”
His chest rising and falling like he’d just run a mile. He turned away from Jack and leaned heavily against the wall, one hand braced flat against it while the other gripped his thigh. For a long moment, he stayed like that—bent slightly at the waist, eyes squeezed shut—trying to catch his breath and slow his racing heart.
Then, with a trembling hand, he reached under his scrub top and T-shirt and pulled out the gold Star of David necklace he always wore—small, worn, and mostly hidden. He rubbed it between his fingers, clutching it tight in his calloused palm like a lifeline.
With his eyes still closed, he drew in a shaky breath, as if trying to summon strength from somewhere deep inside—something steady, unyielding.
Jack said nothing. He didn’t need to. He just watched, quiet and still, letting Michael have the space to come back to himself.
Michael straightened slowly, collecting himself.
“She’s okay?” Michael finally forced out, his voice barely above a whisper.
Jack exhaled through his nose, rubbing the back of his neck. “She’s conscious. Talking. But I’m pretty sure she has a skull fracture—I just don’t know how severe yet. We’re gonna have ro wait on the CT to tell us more.”
Michael’s face went pale. His jaw clenched, but he said nothing.
Jack softened his tone. “Listen, Robby… I know this sucks. It’s scary, but you’re not alone here. We’re doing everything we can, as fast as we can. She’s tough, and she’s got the best care possible.”
He paused, then added, “It’s us. This team, this hospital—we make it work. You know that. You’ve been part of holding it together more times than I can count.”
Michael’s jaw twitched, but his eyes flicked up—just for a second—as Jack continued.
“She’s in good hands. Our hands.”
“Okay,” he breathed. “Okay.” But there was no real conviction in his voice. 
Jack glanced at Michael, his expression firm but not unkind.
“There’s nothing you can do right now, Robby,” he said quietly. “I know that’s the last thing you want to hear, but it’s the truth.”
Michael’s eyes stayed fixed on the floor, jaw still tight, hands flexing at his sides.
Jack’s voice softened. “And as much as I hate to say it… you’ve got to pull it together and do your job. For now. Until she comes back from CT. We’ll know more soon.”
Michael closed his eyes for a beat, breathing through the heaviness in his chest. Then he nodded—barely.
“I know,” he said. “I know.”
Jack glanced around. “It’s busy today. You know how it is—we’ve got to stay on top of everything, keep things moving.”
Michael knew Jack was right. As much as it tore at him, there was nothing more he could do right now.
So he did the only thing he could—he took a deep breath, straightened his spine, and began to shift the panic into focus. Into control.
He would see you when you came back from CT. Until then, he’d do his job. Just like he always had.
Tags: @im-nowhere-but-also-somewhere @beebeechaos @antisocialfiore @delicatetrashtree @xxxkat3xxx @homebytheharbor @woodxtock @letstryagaintomorrow @livingavilaloca @elkitot @annabellee88 @hagarsays @emma8895eb @the-goddess-of-mischief-writing @jazzimac1967@lafemme-nk @kmc1989 @whos6claire @harrysgothicbitch @trustme3-13 @qardasngan @silas-aeiou @k3ndallroy @ohmystrawberrycheesecake @ay0nha @404creep @dantemorenatalie @obfuscateyummy @steviebbboi @alliegc28 @catmomstyles3 @ardentistella @madprincessinabox @circumspectre @the-one-with-the-grey-color @thatchickwiththecamera @violetswritingg @valutfromlune @baileythepenguin @galmorizethechaos @capj-1437 @airgoddess @nah2991 @interestellarprincess @laurensfilm @peachjellyy @aj3684 @sorryimstupidrn @escapingjune
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justsomestuffreally · 7 months ago
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I think the Batkids reaction to a Bruce who isn't de-aged to 8 but rather 29 (pre-Jason death, post his adoption) would be fascinating. 
Their reaction would vary wildly:
Dick: Oh. Bruce is soft again. Bruce calls them ‘chum’ and ‘buddy’ and gives head pats for no reason. He still isn’t perfect, his communication skills are still a work in progress, but compared to his future self? Without actively dying Dick is hugged plenty. Bruce asks him to go to the zoo, unrelated to any case, just to spend time together. Dick is hit with more nostalgia and longing for the past than he knows what to do with.
Also notable: his dad is younger than him. That is something. Second, holy existential crisis Batman, his dad is younger than him and already one adult and one teenage kid??? Dick is not ready to feel this old yet. Third, Dick has absolutely no idea how Bruce managed to stay patient through his no-pants years. He is going to thank reason every day from now on that Damian wears full protection.
Jason: After his death and League he clung to an image of Bruce. One many tried to beat out of him, but he still kept it somewhere close to his heart, buried deep enough even he couldn’t see it. When he came back Bruce wasn’t like this idea of him. How stupid of him to believe the mind of a traumatized kid. Trying to create one good thing before the kid drew his last breath. Making up memories that never even existed.
But they did. Every smile and hug and even his words reflect the image tugged safely against his still-beating heart. His dad very clearly, very deeply loves him. Which is so much worse. Because he can understand why a Bruce, who never cared, didn’t kill the Joker. But he cares. So why the fuck did he not kill the Joker?
Tim: The reason he joined the family, the reason why he became Robin in the first place was because he saw a problem when Bruce started self-destructing and thought ‘Someone needs to fix that!’. Therefore he went and collected Dick, who didn’t seem keen on fixing it. So, the job fell to him to fix it.
He thought he did a good job, he thought he fixed the problem. Except now he sees who Bruce was, and he knows he failed. Their Bruce is less soft, less affectionate, less like he was before. Batman needs a Robin and Tim didn’t manage to be good enough of one to save him. 
[Or: Tim has a guilt complex a hundred miles wide and blames himself for things that aren’t his fault part 52]
Steph: Jason and she are very similar. Both come from the Narrows, both have a mother addicted to drugs and a shitty father. The differences start when Steph keeps waiting on the roof of their apartment for Batman to whisk her away, while Jason tries to steal the tires of the Batmobile and is taken in.
When Steph started out as Spoiler Bruce tried to keep her off the field, and obviously this one would too (even if he would probably be less paranoid about it), but she knows this Bruce would have also taken her in. This Bruce would be the father she always wished for when she sat on their roof and couldn’t see any stars. 
And she didn’t get to have this because Jason went ahead and died. (Of course, she knows she isn’t fair to the guy. Dying isn’t fun… And she knows the only reason she lived is because he died. When Batman rescued her from Black Mask she was in such terrible shape that Leslie managed to convince the World’s Greatest Detective that she died. If Jason hadn’t died Bruce wouldn’t have been as paranoid, wouldn’t have noticed her missing so soon, wouldn’t have been as urgent in his response. Would have been just a minute slower, a minute which would have killed her. Just as it had Jason.)
For her, this Bruce is a distorted mirror into a past which never was. 
Cass: This Bruce and B are not the same person. They don’t move the same. In a fight, this Bruce is younger, faster, stronger. Doesn’t compensate for a previously broken spine. Less experienced. Still one of the most experienced she knows, but less. 
He still moves differently, outside a fight, less pain. More likely to engage in physical affection, more likely to hug and pat and talk. He talks more than B. B knows what she means without words. This Bruce doesn’t.
She likes this Bruce, warmth, and softness. But not as much as B. He knows what she means, when she wants a hug, when she tells him ‘I love you’ without words. B doesn’t need words. This Bruce doesn’t know her, doesn’t communicate like her. She wants B back.
Damian: At first, when this version of his father seemed uncanny and oddly familiar, he assumed it to be due to the stories of his mother. After all, she always told him tales about his father. He simply did not have the frame of reference to understand the kindness she spoke of. Clearly, the clash between the ideals of the League and the ones of his father causes these feelings, just as they did when he first entered the manor.
He presumed this to be the case until one day on patrol Batman laid a hand on his shoulder and told him he did a good job after no particularly impressive fight and he nearly called him ‘Grayson’. Because the stories of his mother may have painted the picture of this version of his father, however, it wasn’t what made it familiar; no, he knew this kindness. These hugs and compliments one would bestow upon a child. Compliments which, despite the indignity, still warm him. Because Grayson learned how to be a… caregiver from his father.
His father used to be like Grayson, used to be until his grief hardened him. Damian could have had this. Damian could have a brother and father who would- But he doesn’t because of Todd. He loathes Todd. Loathes him for ruining the life he could have had.
Why did he die anyway? Damian certainly wouldn’t have a problem escaping bonds created by the Joker, Damian would have disarmed the bomb in time, Damian would have never thrown this life away like he did.
[Or: Damian is a child who was raised by assassins and has unreasonable standards for fighting abilities and also is a child who needs to focus his rage on someone.]
Duke: He was neither there before Jason died nor in the aftermath [according to my math he was around 4 when Jason died] he joined the family when Jason was already back for 4 years or so. He mostly skipped all the drama. For him, Bruce is the way Bruce is because he is Bruce. It’s weird to see him so different, to see how grief shaped parts of Bruce which Duke assumed were just Bruce things.
He’s glad this Bruce is brighter, or not because it just highlights how much that light will dim? Who knows, certainly not him. 
What he does know is that, with their Bruce, he has a distance which, with his parents still alive, he appreciates. With this Bruce, he can understand why Dick struggled so much whether he wants to be his ward or son, how he doesn’t want to replace his parents but still have this Bruce as a dad. It definitely explained the ted talk Dick tried to give him after Bruce officially took him in as a ward.
He likes this Bruce well enough, but he doesn’t necessarily want him to stay this way. Yes, their Bruce is less happy, less open but he did heal, he did grow. Duke met a Bruce who tried to learn from his mistakes, learned to communicate better, and learned when to pull and when to push. For Tim, Damian, Dick, and certainly Jason there is too much baggage, too much history in their relationships, it’s difficult for them to ever move past- anything really.
Sure, when Dick and Bruce are on the same page they are essentially invincible but then the past catches up again and they don’t talk to each other for months. And honestly? Apart from Cass, Duke’s pretty sure he has one of the best relationships with Bruce simply because he got to know him at a better time.
Duke doesn’t mind this Bruce. But their Bruce loved Jason, cared for him so deeply the scars still show to this day. And he still chooses to open up again even if just a bit by bit. Even if just Duke can see it. He is used to being the only one that can see.
And maybe knowing this care extends to him, this love even grief can’t shake? Maybe it makes him feel just a little bit safer, a little bit warmer, a little bit brighter.
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baronessvonglitter · 1 year ago
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Sweet Summer Peach
dbf!Joel Miller x f!Reader | wc: 3.7K
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Summary: when your dad's best friend Joel catches you with his younger brother Tommy, it sets off a spark of jealousy that can only be tamed by showing you how a real man treats a woman.
WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Mature and Explicit, big ol' girthy age gap (reader is between 18-21, Joel is in his 50s, Tommy is in his 40s), Tommy is a womanizer and Joel's just trying to save you from him while also getting a little of you for himself, innocence kink, first time/loss of virginity, fingering, dry humping, truck sex on a hot day in July, unprotected p in v sex (not stated whether reader is on birth control but we'll assume she is), creampie, come eating, praise and pet names (angel, darlin', baby from Joel; sugar, sweetheart from Tommy) definitely a daddy kink as you've known Joel your whole life and he's like a second father to you, once again your dad is clueless as to what's going on, reader is also Sarah's best friend but she is only mentioned not seen. Reader has hair that Joel can pull and wears a bikini and a sundress. No use of y/n.
JOEL MILLER MASTERLIST | FULL MASTERLIST
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"Why don't you ditch that silly little wine cooler and let me give you a taste of somethin' else, sugar?" Tommy Miller's voice is sinful in your ear. "Somethin' a little stronger."
It's over a hundred degrees outside, with no comfort in the shade. The Millers are hosting their annual Fourth of July barbecue, and plenty of people are over, eating, drinking, chatting, swimming in the brand new pool. You've known Tommy and his older brother Joel for years, the latter your dad's best and oldest friend. You and Sarah, Joel's daughter, have been best friends as long as you can remember, being the same age and living just across the street from each other. Joel himself has always been like a second father to you, having watched you grow up. He took you and Sarah to ball games, to the zoo, on fishing expeditions, helped with homework, practically helped raise you. Sarah was his Baby, and you were his Angel.
Tommy, on the other hand, hasn't seen you in years. But he definitely likes the woman you've grown to be.
He's been making eyes at you all afternoon, not-so-subtle glances your way, obviously enticed by your new, revealing bikini. You're garnering a lot of attention from people today, just as you'd expected when you bought it. Your dad would sure have some comments to make on how underdressed you are, but he's not here, working until the evening, and you're taking advantage of your freedom.
Tommy awaits your answer, and with your drink gathering condensation in your hand, you tell him, "Okay," with a soft smile.
He takes your hand, fingers weaving around yours. "Let's dip into the house for a few minutes," he murmurs, eyes gleaming with mischief. Taking a quick look around you notice Joel's eyes on you, his gaze unreadable but you can sense he's on the verge of moving to stop you. But the sight of his glare only serves to stoke the fire of your excitement. It's highly likely he does not like watching Tommy lead you away to privacy.
"Where are you takin' me?" you ask, a giggle bubbling in your throat as you leave your drink behind. He's guiding you to the side entrance of the house, down the hall and to a small den. The blast of the AC hits you with sweet relief and you nearly sigh with satisfaction.
"Away from all the heat," he says, gently pushing you to the wall.
"Tommy," you giggle, half anxious, half excited.
His hands go immediately to your hips, his grip warm and firm as he pulls you close. A low, primal growl rumbles through his chest and he leans in, his nose brushing against your neck. "Don't worry, sweetheart. I got ya." His breath his hot against your skin, his teeth graze your throat, sending a shiver of want down your spine.
"You like that, sugar?" he whispers, his hands exploring your soft thighs, caressing upwards until they brush against the fabric of your bikini.
"More.." your voice comes out in a whimper.
Tommy's eyes gleam with pleasure at your desperate plea. "Greedy girl." His fingers find their way beneath your bikini bottom, gliding across your folds, grinning when you begin to grow even more wet under his touch. He teases without pushing inside, wanting to see you grow absolutely uninhibited with need. "What's the matter, sweetheart?" he teases.
"Not.. used to bein' touched like this," you tell him, brow furrowed in concentration of desire.
"Mm. I can tell." His touch is gentle and insistent, seeking out the spots that make your knees buckle. "You only ever had your own fingers in ya? That it?" He drinks in your sounds of pleasure as you nod at his question. He traces over your clit, watching your hips jerk. "There ya go.." he coaxes, lips on your neck as he continues touching and teasing you. "You like that, huh? Like how I'm touchin' ya?" His fingers circle your clit until you feel yourself grow tighter and tighter, soon to unwind..
"Yes.. yes.. oh my god, oh my god," you moan, and when you open your eyes Joel is there, watching both of you. He looks pissed. You shriek as you meet his searing gaze.
"Get your fuckin' hands off her," he growls menacingly.
Your blood freezes and you're vaguely aware of Tommy's fingers slipping away as he moves from you. Then as you realize your state of dress you try to fix your disheveled bikini, a feeble attempt to cover yourself. "Joel.. I'm sorry," you whisper.
Joel's eyes stay locked on you, a possessive rage smoldering in his black depths. He steps towards you, his movements deliberate and calculated, like a predator stalking its prey. "Sorry?" he mocks. "What the fuck are you doin' in here with my little brother's hands all over ya?"
"I.. I wasn't thinking." It's the truth. For once you'd let your hormones think for you.
His expression hardens. "You weren't thinkin'? That's all you have to say?" His gaze flicks to Tommy, the simmering anger still present in his eyes. "You. Get out," he commands, his voice sharp and authoritative.
Tommy hesitates briefly, all former bravado gone in the presence of his older brother's ire, and leave you and Joel alone.
You feel ashamed, scared, still dizzy with desire if you're honest, the ache Tommy created in you still lingering. "Joel, I'm sorry.. you won't tell my dad, will you?"
Joel's gaze is intense. "You're damn right I won't. Your daddy would rip my brother limb from limb if he found out what just happened." He steps closer to you, his eyes roaming your body, taking in your scantily clad appearance. "But you and I, darlin', we need to clear some things up."
"Like what?" you ask in a small voice, expecting the worst.
"First: I don't want you alone with Tommy ever again. Am I understood?" His voice drops to a low growl. "Second: I'm not done with you, angel. You're comin' with me."
Despite knowing you're in trouble already, you're recalcitrant. "You can't tell me what to do! I'm not a child anymore!"
Joel's eyes flash with anger, and before you can react, his hand quickly clamps around your wrist, his grip firm but not painful. "You're actin' like a child, darlin'. Now you can either come with me quietly, or you can put up a fight and I'll carry you outta here. Your choice."
For some reason the thought of him carrying you out sends a jolt straight to your center. But you relent. "Fine," you growl back. Joel hands you your sundress and you put it on, not caring to ask why he had it in his possession while you were in here with Tommy.
"Good girl," he mutters, leading you to his truck outside. He opens the door for you, the gentlemanly gesture a stark difference from his earlier demeanor. As you get in, Joel climbs into the driver's seat, his large frame filling the small space.
"Where are we goin'?" you ask as he starts up the engine and drives away with you.
He doesn't turn to look at you as he drives, his grip on the steering wheel white-knuckled and tense. "Somewhere we can talk, darlin'," he says gruffly. "Somewhere my meddlin' brother can't get his hands on ya."
You blush with shame as you think of what Joel saw you doing with Tommy, even though it was mostly innocent. "You don't see me as your little angel no more. do you?"
Joel's gaze flicks to you for a moment, his expression showing disappointment. "You stopped bein' an angel the moment you let my brother touch ya."
He pulls his pickup into a dirt parking lot, the location surrounded by trees and secluded from prying eyes.
"Better him than someone I don't know," you say lamely, looking around the deserted area.
"That's a low bar, angel," Joel mutters, voice thick with restraint. "You're not the only one who's noticed ya, darlin'. Hell, the whole damn town's been watchin' ya grow up."
"Tommy's the one who approached me. It wasn't my fault."
"Of course. He'd be blind not to want ya," he mutters darkly. "But you're not the first girl he's had his eye on, baby, and you ain't gonna be the last either."
It stings, but you try not to let it show. "I'm not tryna marry him, we were just havin' fun."
Joel scoffs, his eyes betraying his jealousy. "Fun, huh? Is that what you call it? You have no idea what my brother is like. He's no good for you. You're too young, too innocent, too damn pure."
"Evidently I'm no longer pure by your standards," you shoot back, arms crossed. "A girl can't enjoy herself without bein' a slut, right?"
His jaw clenches. "That's not what I meant. You're not just some toy for my brother to play with and toss aside. You don't know what he could do to you."
You remember Tommy's gentle, sure touch, the way his fingers glided over your most secret parts. "I got a sense of what he could do to me," you can't resist goading Joel. "And it felt so good.."
Joel looks like he's trying to swallow glass. "I bet he made you feel things you've never felt before, didn't he?"
"Almost.. not quite.." Blush fills your face.
"You mean he didn't make you come."
To have it put so bluntly makes you blush all over again. "No.. he didn't."
Joel wets his lips. "I bet it drove you crazy, havin' him touch you like that and not bein' able to finish.. must've driven you wild, huh?"
This is crazy. This conversation is crazy. This whole thing is crazy! It's like you're a kid again and Joel's trying to explain the birds and the bees because your own father doesn't want to.
"Yeah," you answer softly. "It's like an ache that won't go away."
His gaze darkens, drinking in the image of you all desperate, unable to get what you want. "And you're still achin', aren't ya, darlin'?" His voice is low, husky, intimate.
You feel small under his gaze, like a piece of meat being dangled before a hungry lion, like Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf. "Yes," comes your whispered reply.
Joel leans close, his large hands reaching out to cup your face. "Tell me what you want, angel."
He's giving you a choice, unlike Tommy who did what he wanted to do. Joel is giving you a choice.. "Make this ache go away for me.. please.."
His desire burns fiercely as he hears the plea in your voice. "You sure that's what you want, baby? Because once you let me in, there ain't no goin' back." His hands slide down to caress your neck, his touch both possessive and gentle.
You whimper. Once you let me in.. You're a fool not to think he means anything else. "I'm sure," you whisper, keeping your gaze on his dark eyes.
It sounds like a dare, like a threat, as he says, "All right, darlin'. You asked for it," and grabs hold of your waist, pulling you onto his lap so you're straddling him. You let out an involuntary gasp. His hands slide down from your waist to grab handfuls of your round ass, squeezing and kneading your cheeks firmly. "I've had a mind to do this for a long damn while," he growls. "You've been fillin' out lately, and those tight little shorts you wear 'round my house ain't doin' nothin' but teasin' my cock."
All your breath leaves you, the way he's grabbing you sends waves of heat and longing throughout your body.
His eyes burn as he feels your reaction to his touch. "You like that, baby?" he continues to grab and squeeze. "I've had to look at those tight little shorts of yours every time you come over.. always showin' off that perfect peach. Even now, this lil' sundress ain't barely coverin' anything." He kneads your cheeks again, giving them a light slap each.
You gasp at the sweet little stings, and each insistent knead of his hands on your ass pushes you forward onto his hard-on that tents his jeans. "That's it, angel. Ride my lap, just like that," he grunts. Your palms are planted on his shoulders, fingers gripping tightly as you grind yourself against him. Your heart is liable to shoot out of your chest but he feels so damn good, and so dangerous. "Like this?" you ask.
"Yeah, just like that, baby." Joel looks up at you, the mask of his authority slipping just a little as he watches you. "You feel that? That's what this pretty lil' ass does to me." Another quick little slap on your butt.
"Mm hmm," you reply, too caught up in the feeling to give a proper reply. "Oh my, I'm makin' such a mess on you," you whisper, noticing the wet spot on his jeans where you've been grinding on him without a care.
"Don't worry about me, darlin'. That's what I want." His voice is thick with desire and need. "I want you all wet and messy for me."
Jesus, the man knows just what to say.. "Joel," you whine. "You said you'd make the ache go away but you only made it worse.."
He quirks a brow. "That so? Well then I better do somethin' about that." One hand snakes its way between your bodies, his fingers easily finding your pussy through the thin material of your bikini bottom. You bite your lip as a curse word leaves your mouth, your head tilted back as he finds you wet and wanting. His fingers glide easily through your folds. "You're soaked, angel." He presses a kiss against your neck, grazing his teeth upon your skin as his fingers finally enter you, pressing into your sweet, welcoming warmth.
Brows furrowed, you start moving against his touch, sighing darkly as you feel his gentle love bite. "It's all.. for you," you sigh.
"I know it is, darlin'. Always has been." As his fingers rock inside you his thumb rubs small circles against your clit.
You ride his fingers, your breath shaking, gasping at the sweet intrusion. "Joel.. don't stop.. don't stop, I'm gonna come!"
"Go on, angel," he gruffs out. "Come for me.."
He holds you tight as you come undone on his lap, your pussy walls contracting around his fingers. "That's it.. good girl.." he praises. He withdraws them gently, shiny and covered in your thick, stringy slick. In a haze of pleasure you watch as he brings them to his lips, licking them clean. "You taste even better than I dreamed."
"Let me taste," you whisper, grabbing him for a kiss and swirling your tongue against his, tasting the remnants of your fulfillment. Your heart leaps as he goes to unbuckle his belt, and your body pulsates with unbridled need that overshadows all other thoughts.
"I need to be inside ya, darlin'."
"Yes.. please," you beg shamelessly.
"Lift up, angel," he whispers, pulling his jeans and boxers down halfway as you give him room. His cock springs up from his nest of dark brown wiry curls: a perfect, slightly curving length, thick and veiny, reaching up past his belly button, his precum already dribbling from the tip. His balls are heavy and full, lifting slightly as he pulls on himself, getting him primed for you. "You ready for me, baby?" he asks, voice low and thick with desire.
"Yes," you nod eagerly.
With your bikini bottom pushed to the side, he puts you over him again and starts to press into you. A deep, guttural groan rumbles from his chest as he firmly holds your hips. You gasp at the surrealness of the moment, straddling him in the driver's seat of the truck he taught you how to drive in just a couple short years ago. You whimper his name as you take a little of him at a time.
He claims your lips in a deep kiss, tongue delving into your mouth as he slowly sinks deeper inside you. Just when you think it's impossible to fit all of him, his kiss eases the way and you sink further down. "God," you sigh.
"You're doin' so good, baby. You feel so damn good around me," he soothes, completely. He starts to lift you up, to go slow and steady as already you're dripping onto him, your juices flowing down his shaft and drenching his pubes. You spread your thighs wider, feeling every inch of him inside you, a pleasure and yet a small pain. "Let me feel you like this for a little bit," you tell him, sheathing him with care.
"Whatever you want, darlin'. It's all yours," he mutters, leaning his forehead against yours, trying to still his heart, trying to catch his god damn breath.
"All mine," you whisper back, your breath tickling his ear. "My first.." You kiss him again and let your tongue tease his.
"Damn right," he growls. "And I'm gonna make sure you remember it forever. You're gonna feel me for days.." With that he starts to move, slowly, generating the friction your unsatisfied body so craves. "Grind yourself on me, just like that," he whispers, pulling the front of your sundress down to reveal your bikini top, and peels that back to expose your breasts, your nipples like pert raspberries. He palms them roughly before tasting each one, swirling his tongue around one bud while pinching the other.
You squirm in his lap, moving up and down his shaft, coating him with your cream. "You're so fucking deep," you moan, cupping his head as he feasts on your tits.
"There ya go.. take all of me. Lemme fill ya up," he grunts. His body tenses under yours as you speed up, mesmerized as your tits bounce up and down right in front of him. "That's it.. ah, such a good girl for me. How much more ya want? How much can ya handle?"
"I want.. fuck!.. I want more," you moan. "Fuck me, Joel!"
At your command he thrusts up, deep and rough, pulling your hair back so he can watch your body, gleaming with sweat, pulsate with pleasure as he taps into your primal need. The truck windows are fogged up as the vehicle gently bounces with your movements. His long, thick fingers leave marks on your hips and your ass cheeks.
He pistons up into you relentlessly, the sound of skin slapping on skin echoing in the truck, along with his grunts and the heavenly crescendo of your sweet moans. He keeps up the rigorous pace and you're on the edge, about to topple over into bliss. "Come on, baby," he urges you. "Yeah, that's it.. come for me.."
Only a few more fierce, upward thrusts and you come, with him nestled in up to the hilt so that every inch of him can feel you quake with pleasure. Your pussy flutters and convulses around him as you rear your head back, basking in the sublime pleasure. Joel follows soon after, unable to resist as he comes deep inside you. You give a little gasp at the warm bursts of his release, unlocking something primal in you. "Give me every drop," you whisper.
"It's all yours, darlin'," he hisses, holding onto you as he pumps stream after stream of his thick white cum within you.
Your eyes meet as he finally stills, slumping back down in his seat, still holding you close so you can feel the thundering beat of one another's hearts. "God.. you filled me up," you say in amazement, feeling him drip out of you already though he hasn't made a move to disengage from you yet.
"Imma fill you up any damn time you want," he rumbles. "Even if I gotta sneak into your room at night. Your daddy ain't gonna know a thing."
You bite your lip, realizing he's not kidding, he's not giving promises he doesn't mean to keep. "He'd probably kill you if he knew what we just did."
Joel's eyes burn with a determination that scares you a little. "Well he ain't gonna ever know. I got ways of keepin' things quiet." He gazes at you and his eyes soften, as if he's looking upon the most beautiful and innocent thing in all the world. "I always knew I wanted ya, ever since you turned into such a sweet little treat."
His phone rings and he groans when he realizes it's your father. He puts a hand over your mouth even though you wouldn't dare let on that you're with him, and makes the conversation as quick as possible before hanging up. "We better go, darlin'. Your daddy's waitin', wonderin' where you are," he says casually, as if he hadn't just had a conversation with your dad while balls-deep inside you.
You lift yourself off him wincing a little at the soreness between your thighs. The remnants of Joel's sticky seed start to trickle down your leg. He runs his thumb along your inner thigh, gathering his cum and brings it to your lips. You suck the salty fluid off his thumb. "I'm not wasting any of it," you tell him, licking your lips as you swallow.
"God damn," he mutters hotly. "You're killin' me, angel," he says, helping you arrange your clothes so you're decent again.
"Not anymore.. you just turned this angel into a devil.."
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"Hey pumpkin, where ya been?" your dad greets you as you get out of Joel's truck in his driveway. Walking is a little painful as you're still sore, but you try to act natural.
"Beer run," Joel answers for you, holding up a twelve-pack of Corona Extra.
"Joel took me on a ride," you can't help saying, "It was fun." His cum is still collecting in your swimsuit bottom. "Hey Daddy, Sarah asked me to spend the night with her, so I'll be here all night. Is that okay with you, Joel?" You suppress a smirk as you address both the men.
Joel's heart rate spikes and his imagination runs wild in the quick span of a moment before he says, "Of course it is. You're always welcome here."
And later, when the Fourth of July fireworks cast their multi-colored lights on the black horizon, no one notices as you and Joel sneak away together, the booms overhead concealing your noises of gratification.
dividers by @saradika-graphics 👑
3K notes · View notes
jkwrites-m · 2 days ago
Text
Daddy Kookie (2)
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Pairing: idol!Jungkook x female reader
Genre: childhood lovers to exes to lovers, parents au, idol au, smut, angst, fluff
Word Count: 6.4k
Summary: After Jungkook dropped all contact, Y/N was left broken - and pregnant. Seven years later, fate brings them back together.
Warnings: MDNI, Explicit, 18+, smut, angst, abandonment, young (teenage) pregnancy, unintentional parental neglect, resentment, fighting, boundaries, guilt, burnout, anxiety, confessions, reunions, slapping, anger, heartbreak, cursing, struggle, explicit: PRAISING, kissing, missionary, tension, pillow talk, unprotected sex
A/N: here’s what was originally the ending of part one but for some reason i can’t post that many blocks 😒 so here’s the “part 2”.
MASTERPOST ♡ MASTERLIST
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I found Namjoon in the hotel gym that night.
He was alone, earbuds in, pacing the far side of the room with a water bottle tucked under one arm, muttering rehearsal notes to himself like he always did before a show. I stood in the doorway for a solid minute before I said anything.
He saw me in the mirror first.
Pulled out one earbud.
“You alright?” he asked.
“No.”
He nodded once and didn’t press me.
Just set down his bottle and motioned toward the bench press like, sit.
I sat.
And for a while, neither of us said a word.
“I met with her this morning,” I said finally, my voice rough from not speaking since the show.
Namjoon didn’t ask who.
He just waited.
“I asked for an hour. She gave me exactly that.”
I rubbed my hands together. My legs were bouncing, and I couldn’t stop.
“I thought I was ready to see her. But I wasn’t.”
Still, Namjoon said nothing.
“She has a daughter.”
His brows lifted just slightly, but he didn’t interrupt.
“She’s mine,” I added. “Her name is Eun Ae.”
That got him.
Namjoon blinked slowly and sat down on the bench across from me. “You’re a dad?”
I nodded. “I didn’t know. I- God, hyung, I blocked her. She tried to tell me and I just… I disappeared.”
He sighed but didn’t scold me.
I think that made it worse.
“She raised her alone,” I said. “Worked. Went to school. Everything. No help. And I was here, living my dream while she was raising my kid and barely surviving.”
“You didn’t know,” Namjoon said carefully.
“I should’ve.”
“That’s true.”
I buried my face in my hands. “She’s giving me one chance. Tomorrow. At the zoo. I get to meet her - meet my daughter - for the first time and I don’t even know how to breathe around the thought of it.”
He let me sit in the silence for a beat.
Then: “What are you most scared of?”
“That she’ll hate me.”
Namjoon’s gaze softened.
“That she’ll ask me where I’ve been,” I whispered, “and I won’t know how to answer.”
“You don’t have to have all the answers,” he said. “You just have to show up. That’s what matters now.”
“I want to be in her life,” I said. “I want to earn it. I want to be someone she can count on. Not someone she has to recover from.”
Namjoon nodded slowly. “That’s a good place to start.”
“And Y/N…” My voice cracked. “I still love her.”
“I know.”
“I don’t expect her to forgive me. Not yet. Maybe not ever. But I want her to see that I’m not the same kid who left.”
“You’re not,” he said.
I looked up at him. “What if I ruin it again?”
“Then you don’t,” Namjoon said. “You show up. You listen. You apologize. You be present. And if they don’t let you in, you keep showing up until they do- or until they tell you to stop. Either way, you stay honest.”
I nodded, swallowing hard.
“Thanks, hyung.”
He gave a tired smile. “Get some sleep. You’ve got a big day tomorrow.”
I didn’t sleep much.
But I dreamed of a little girl with my eyes.
And Y/N beside her.
═══════
It was her idea to wear her tiger hoodie.
“Because we’re going to the zoo,” she said, as if that was the most obvious thing in the world.
I tied her shoelaces twice- her feet wouldn’t stop bouncing- then stood up and stared at her for a moment too long.
“Mama?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you nervous?”
A pause.
“No,” I said. “I’m just thinking.”
It wasn’t a lie. I was thinking. About everything.
About how I swore he’d never meet her. About how easily I’d broken that rule yesterday. About how I’d watched his hands tremble when I said the word daughter.
He didn’t cry, not fully.
But he looked like someone who had finally understood what it meant to break something that couldn’t be fixed.
I kept that image close as I buckled her into her booster seat and drove to the zoo.
He was already waiting by the entrance.
Sunglasses. Mask. Hoodie. Head tucked down.
It should’ve made him look anonymous.
It didn’t.
Even behind all that, he looked unmistakably like him.
And when Eun Ae saw him, she didn’t pause.
She ran.
Full-speed. Straight up to him like she’d known him her whole life.
“Hi!” she chirped. “I’m Eun Ae. Are you the friend Mama said we’re meeting?”
He knelt down slowly.
I watched his fingers shake as he pulled the mask down from his face.
“Yeah,” he said, voice cracking. “I’m… I’m Jungkook.”
“That’s a funny name,” she giggled. “Can I call you Mr. Kookie?”
He let out a short, stunned laugh.
“Sure,” he said, clearing his throat. “You can call me that.”
She grabbed his hand like it was nothing. Like it was normal.
Like this hadn’t been six years coming.
I followed a few steps behind them, unsure what to do with my arms, my heart, my breath.
They moved together easily.
Too easily.
He matched her pace. Let her pick which exhibits to visit. Lifted her onto his shoulders to see the giraffes. Bought her a pretzel and wiped the cheese off her face without hesitation. They laughed at the same things. Tilted their heads the same way when they were curious. Chewed the straw of their drinks when they were thinking.
They were mirrors.
And I was the frame- holding it all together, barely.
At the tiger enclosure, Eun Ae pressed her palms to the glass and gasped.
“They’re so cool!” she shouted. “I want one!”
“They’re a little big for a pet,” Jungkook said, crouching next to her.
“I’d teach it tricks.”
“I bet you would.”
There was a pause. Then she asked the question I’d been dreading.
“Did you know my mom when she was my age?”
Jungkook blinked.
I tensed.
“Yeah,” he said softly. “I did.”
“Was she weird like me?”
“She was perfect,” he said. “Exactly like you.”
She grinned. “So… super weird?”
He laughed, and I heard something in it that sounded like mourning.
Later, while she climbed a small jungle gym near the café, I sat beside him on the bench.
He didn’t speak at first.
Just watched her, eyes full of things I didn’t want to name.
“She’s incredible,” he whispered.
“I know.”
“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”
“You already said that.”
“I’ll say it again,” he said. “As many times as you need.”
We sat in silence for a long time.
Then I heard my voice say something I hadn’t planned.
“You’re good with her.”
He turned to me, surprised.
“She doesn’t know who you are,” I added. “But she likes you.”
“I’m glad.”
“She’s never had… that. A male figure. Anyone to play like that with.”
He looked away. “That’s my fault.”
I didn’t correct him.
He reached into his hoodie pocket and pulled something out.
A little stuffed tiger.
“I bought this on the way here,” he said, holding it up. “I didn’t know if I’d get to give it to her.”
She ran back to us just then, sweaty and smiling.
Jungkook knelt again and held out the tiger.
“For you.”
Her eyes lit up.
“Thanks, Mr. Kookie!”
She hugged him. No hesitation.
He closed his eyes like the moment hurt in a way he needed.
═══════
That night, after Eun Ae was tucked into bed, I sat on the couch with a blanket around my shoulders and my phone pressed to my ear.
The apartment was quiet.
Too quiet.
Like the kind of quiet that presses in on your skin and makes your thoughts louder than they should be.
“She hugged him,” I whispered.
My best friend on the other end of the line didn’t speak. She waited. She always did.
“She hugged him like she’d known him her whole life. Like he hadn’t missed anything. Like he hadn’t disappeared.”
I wiped under my eyes with the edge of my sleeve.
“And he was… good with her. Gentle. Patient. Funny. Like he’d been waiting his whole life to meet her. Like he already loved her.”
“You sound surprised,” my friend said.
“I am,” I confessed. “I don’t want to be. But I am.”
There was a pause.
“You still love him,” she said.
I closed my eyes.
“Don’t,” I said softly. “Please.”
“Y/N-”
“I can’t afford to love him,” I whispered. “Not again. Not after what he did.”
The words came out raw and wet and cracked.
“I spent years hating him,” I said. “Years trying to forget the way he looked at me, the way he kissed me, the way he made me believe in things that never came true. And today, I watched him hold our daughter’s hand like it was the most natural thing in the world, and I…This could’ve been real. This life. This moment. All of it. If he had just… stayed.”
I swallowed the sob that threatened.
“I didn’t feel anger. I didn’t feel hate. I felt… sad. And full. And furious. And terrified. All at once.”
“You’re allowed to feel all of that.”
“I know. But it doesn’t make it easier.”
She didn’t say anything for a while.
Then: “Do you think he still loves you?”
I laughed. Quiet and bitter. “He says he does.”
“And do you believe him?”
I looked out the window. The city lights blinked back like stars caught in a snow globe.
“I believe he thinks he does,” I said. “But I don’t know if he loves me- who I am now. Not the girl he left behind.”
“You don’t have to decide anything now.”
“I don’t want to decide anything,” I said. “I just want to breathe again.”
I hung up after that.
Tucked my phone under the blanket and rested my head on the arm of the couch. My eyes closed. My chest ached. I felt heavy and hollow and full of fire all at the same time.
And then I heard it.
A shuffle.
A creak of the hallway floorboard.
I turned.
Jungkook stood there, just outside the door frame, his hand against the wall like he needed it to hold himself up.
He hadn’t knocked.
He hadn’t said a word.
He just looked at me like he’d walked straight into the center of a storm he hadn’t seen coming.
“You heard all that,” I said, my voice flat.
He didn’t deny it.
Didn’t move.
Didn’t breathe.
“I didn’t mean to,” he said quietly. “I was bringing back the little drawing she made. She left it in my jacket pocket. I was going to knock. I just… heard you.”
I sat up slowly.
“You shouldn’t be here.”
“I know.”
He didn’t budge.
“Y/N,” he said softly, voice shaking. “I love you. Not just the girl I left. Not some idea. You. Right now. All of it.”
And then he crossed the room.
Without another word, he bent down and kissed me.
Soft and sure and shaking all at once.
And for one second - just one - I kissed him back.
It was like breathing again for the first time in years. Like lightning. Like a heartbeat I didn’t know I missed.
But then I pulled back.
And I slapped him.
Hard.
He didn’t even flinch.
“You can’t just do that,” I said, my voice rising. “You don’t get to walk in here, say I love you, and kiss me like it erases what you did.”
“I know,” he said, eyes shining. “I know it doesn’t fix anything. I just needed you to know it’s real.”
A long silence stretched between us.
He finally set the folded piece of paper on the table.
It was a crayon drawing. Stick figures. A tiger. The word “KOOKIE” spelled backwards across the top.
“I’ll go,” he said, stepping back. “But… thank you. For today.”
He turned and walked out before I could say a word.
And I sat there, hands shaking, heart a mess, trying not to chase after him.
Because no matter how much I wanted to…
I didn’t know if I could survive loving him again.
═══════
I didn’t mean to kiss her.
I meant to leave.
I meant to say those words and walk away like a man who’d learned his lesson. Who knew better now.
But when I looked at her- sitting on that couch, eyes full of grief and strength- I forgot what I was supposed to do.
And when her lips touched mine back… for that brief, burning second, I thought maybe I wasn’t too late.
But then she slapped me.
And she was right to.
I walked out shortly after. The drawing Eun Ae made was still on the table. The door shut behind me like punctuation on a sentence I’d rewritten too many times in my head.
I didn’t go to my room.
I went to Namjoon’s.
He was still up, writing in a leather-bound notebook like always. When he opened the door and saw my face, he didn’t ask. Just moved aside to let me in.
I sat on the edge of the bed, my hands gripping the hem of my hoodie.
“She still hates me,” I said.
Namjoon didn’t reply. Just waited.
“I heard her talking to someone. On the phone. After the zoo.” I exhaled shakily. “She said it could’ve been real. The life. The moment. If I had just stayed.”
My voice cracked.
“She’s right,” I said. “It could’ve been. I destroyed everything.”
Namjoon sat in the chair across from me, elbows on his knees. “You didn’t destroy everything.”
“I kissed her,” I admitted.
That got a raised eyebrow.
“She kissed me back. For a second. Then she slapped me.”
Namjoon didn’t flinch. “You probably deserved it.”
“I definitely deserved it.”
I leaned forward, elbows on my thighs, head in my hands.
“She thinks I’m just showing up now because of Eun Ae. But it’s not that. I was going to try before I even knew. I swear. I just… I still love her. That never went away.”
“I know,” Namjoon said. “We all do.”
“She said she doesn’t know if I love who she is now. Not the girl I left behind.”
“Do you?”
“Yes,” I said immediately. “She’s stronger. Sharper. She’s everything I wish I’d grown up fast enough to deserve.”
Namjoon nodded slowly.
“Then show her,” he said. “Not with words. You’ve said enough. Do something.”
“Like what?”
“Think,” he said. “What did she love? What mattered to her?”
I blinked.
“Wildflowers,” I said. “She always picked the ugly ones growing out of sidewalk cracks. Said they were survivors.”
Namjoon smiled. “Then that’s where you start.”
I nodded, a lump forming in my throat.
“I’m going to show up,” I said. “Every day. Until she tells me not to. Or until she believes me.”
“Good,” Namjoon said. “And Jungkook?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re not a piece of shit. You were a scared kid who made a selfish mistake. Now you’re a man who has to own it.”
I nodded again.
I wasn’t running anymore.
Tomorrow, I’d bring her flowers.
Not roses.
Not something expensive or flashy.
Just wildflowers.
The ones that survive.
═══════
He didn’t text the next morning.
Didn’t call.
Didn’t knock.
But when I opened the door to take out the trash, there was a bouquet of wildflowers on the step.
No note.
No explanation.
Just color.
Simple and honest.
I stared at them for a long time before I brought them inside.
I didn’t put them in a vase.
Not yet.
Eun Ae noticed them instantly.
“Oooh, are those for you?”
“Yeah,” I said, almost under my breath.
“From Mr. Kookie?”
I froze.
She giggled. “He smells like sunshine.”
I blinked. “What?”
“His hoodie. It smelled like sunshine. And gum.”
I didn’t know what to say to that.
She took one of the smaller stems from the bouquet and tucked it behind my ear before skipping off to play.
═══════
The next day, he didn’t bring flowers.
He brought her a book.
One of those thick picture books with a glittery cover and a dragon on the front. She shrieked like she’d won the lottery. He handed it to her without a word and let her read to him, even though she kept skipping pages and making up half the story.
He didn’t flinch.
Didn’t correct her.
He just smiled like it was the best thing he’d ever heard.
I watched from the kitchen, trying not to feel anything.
Trying to stay steady.
Trying not to remember the way his hand had felt on my cheek when he kissed me.
And the sting of my own palm after.
═══════
The third day, he showed up with both- flowers for me, a new stuffed animal (a bunny this time) for her, and takeout from my favorite noodle place.
He didn’t ask to stay.
Just handed it over, bowed, and walked away.
I didn’t stop him.
But I didn’t close the door right away either.
═══════
The fourth day, he didn’t come.
And I hated how I noticed.
How the absence felt like a missing rhythm in my day. A skipped beat.
I told myself it was good. Smart. Necessary.
That space was healthy.
But then he texted.
Jungkook: Didn’t want to crowd you today. Just… wanted you to know I’m here.
I didn’t reply.
But I stared at that message for a long time.
═══════
The fifth day, he came by again. This time he asked if we wanted to go for ice cream.
Eun Ae screamed like he’d asked her to Disneyland.
I tried to say no.
I did.
But my mouth betrayed me.
“Okay,” I said. “Just an hour.”
He didn’t smile like he won.
He smiled like it hurt to be that grateful.
We walked to the corner shop with her bouncing between us. He let her pick his flavor. She made him get bubblegum. He pretended to like it. I knew he didn’t.
He caught me watching him.
And didn’t look away.
That night, after she was in bed, I sat on the same couch, stared at the same wall, and whispered into the dark:
“I don’t know if I’m ready.”
And I meant it.
I wasn’t ready.
Not yet.
But I also wasn’t closing the door anymore.
Not all the way.
═══════
I should’ve known it was too good to last.
The morning started perfect.
Too perfect.
Jungkook showed up with matching zoo t-shirts he found online. One for him, one for Eun Ae. Hers said “Mini Tiger.” His said “Big Tiger.”
She laughed for five straight minutes and made him wear it out in public.
I rolled my eyes and told him he was shameless.
He just grinned and handed me a coffee with two extra espresso shots- exactly the way I liked it.
“Trying to bribe me?” I asked.
“Maybe.”
I didn’t smile.
But my fingers brushed his on accident when I took the cup.
And I didn’t pull away.
We took Eun Ae to the botanical gardens. Let her feed koi fish and run across wooden bridges with her stuffed tiger tucked under one arm. Jungkook stayed close the entire time. Carrying her backpack, tying her shoe when it came undone, wiping ice cream off her face.
It almost looked like a family. 
Almost.
We sat on the grass to rest before lunch, and she ran over to the koi pond like it was a different world.
“She’s so comfortable with you,” I said, trying not to let it sound like an accusation.
“I’m glad,” he said. “I want her to be.”
There was a quiet pause.
Then he looked at me and said something that should’ve been sweet.
But it wasn’t.
“She’s just like you, you know.”
I blinked.
“She’s strong and stubborn and always needs to be right. She even talks with her hands like you do- ”
“Don’t,” I said, sharper than I meant to.
He froze. “What?”
“Don’t compare us like that.”
“I wasn’t- I meant it as a good thing-”
“She’s not a mirror, Jungkook,” I snapped. “She’s a person. Her own person.”
“I know that,” he said quickly. “I didn’t mean it like- ”
“You weren’t around. You don’t know what she’s like. You’ve seen her for what? A week? You don’t get to analyze her like you raised her.”
His mouth opened. Then closed.
And I saw something shift in his eyes.
Something small and hurt.
Then a tiny voice interrupted us.
“I’m sorry,” Eun Ae whispered.
We both turned.
She was standing by the fish pond again, tears spilling down her cheeks.
“I didn’t mean to make you mad,” she sniffled. “I’ll be good.”
“No,” I said quickly, moving toward her. “Baby, no. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
She clung to me like her little heart might explode.
I scooped her up and pressed her to my chest.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, voice thick. “I’m not mad at you. I promise. You didn’t do anything.”
She looked over my shoulder at Jungkook. “Are you mad too?”
He shook his head, eyes glassy. “No, sweetheart. Never.”
“I just wanted to have a nice day,” she mumbled.
My throat tightened.
“I know,” I whispered.
We sat on the bench together for a long time after that.
No one said much.
═══════
Eun Ae fell asleep in the car on the way home, and Jungkook carried her inside like muscle memory. He tucked her into bed without needing directions, covered her with her favorite blanket, and kissed the crown of her head before stepping back like it hurt to walk away.
Neither of us said much after that.
He left for the venue early that night to prep for their final concert.
I stood in the hallway after he left, hand pressed against the door, heart aching like it was made of split seams and bad timing.
I didn’t cry.
But I wanted to.
Because I knew this was what I did.
Push away before I could be left again.
═══════
The stadium vibrated under my feet.
Screams rolled like thunder across the roof, and I could feel the beat of the music reverberating through the concrete backstage walls.
It was the final night of BTS’s residency.
Everything was fire.
Everything was electric.
Everything was right- except me.
I stood at the main comms table with a headset snug against my ears, spitting rapid-fire cues to the light techs, the camera ops, and the runners, my voice a metronome of control.
“Camera C, pan stage right. Cue smoke burst. Light rig alpha, wait two seconds on drop- no, two seconds, not four-”
My tone was clipped. My spine straight.
On the outside, I looked like I had it together.
But I could feel it.
The crack behind my ribs. The pulse behind my eyes. The way I flinched every time his voice cut through the speakers.
Every note he sang.
Every lyric he poured his soul into.
It hurt.
I told myself I didn’t care.
I told myself I was over it.
But every time the lights shifted and his silhouette appeared, I remembered the way he’d looked when he kissed me and the way he’d stayed when I slapped him.
I remembered how his voice broke when he said, “I love you. Right now. All of it.”
I remembered the way he meant it.
And I remembered how much that terrified me.
“Y/N?” someone called in my ear. “Spotlight three needs confirmation. We’re doing the slow solo bridge in thirty.”
I blinked, the fog in my head thick.
“Copy that,” I said quickly. “Cue in thirty. Confirm on bridge.”
I watched the monitors as he stepped up to the center of the stage.
Alone.
Golden lights haloed around him. Fans screamed his name from every direction.
And he sang.
Not just to them.
I knew that voice.
I knew when it was for the crowd…
…and when it was for me.
My hands curled into fists at my sides.
Stop it.
Don’t romanticize this.
Don’t soften.
But I did.
I always did.
Every time his voice cracked. Every time he hit a note like it cost him a piece of himself.
He looked straight into the lens during the final chorus- the one that streamed to every screen in the arena.
It was almost too direct.
Too intentional.
And in that moment, I knew.
He wasn’t singing to a sea of strangers.
He was singing to me.
The cue ended. The screen faded to black. Lights cut. Screams exploded.
My heart thudded harder than the bass.
I turned away from the monitor and pulled off my headset.
I needed air.
The crew backstage was already preparing for encore. The guys were offstage hydrating, catching their breath, prepping for the last two songs.
I slipped through a side door and stepped out into the shadowed corridor by the loading dock. It was cold. Quiet. The noise of the crowd muffled by thick walls.
I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes.
I didn’t want this to hurt.
But it did.
I didn’t want to care.
But I did.
And worst of all?
I didn’t want to want him.
But God, I did.
═══════
The cheers were still echoing in my bones.
My shirt clung to my back, soaked through with sweat. My hair was dripping. My lungs were still catching up.
But all I could think about was her.
I didn’t see her once during the show. Not backstage. Not in the wings. Not even in the flashes of tech crew darting through shadows.
But I felt her.
Like gravity.
Like silence.
Like a missing beat in the rhythm I couldn’t get right.
I sat alone in the dressing room while the rest of the guys laughed and recapped their favorite fan chants. Jimin had his feet on the table, Taehyung was dancing shirtless with a can of soda, and Jin was complaining about the confetti in his hair.
But I couldn’t join them.
I couldn’t even smile.
My hands trembled as I unlaced my boots. My knees bounced restlessly. My throat was dry, but I couldn’t drink anything.
Because all I could hear was her voice.
“You don’t know what she’s like.”
“You weren’t around.”
“You don’t get to analyze her like you raised her.”
She was right.
Every word.
I’d tried so hard to connect, I didn’t realize I was stepping on landmines she’d spent years trying to bury.
I messed it up.
Again.
“Yo,” Namjoon said, stepping into the room and tossing me a towel. “You good?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“You’re lying.”
I sighed. “I know.”
He sat down across from me, cracking open a bottle of water and sliding one my way.
“She didn’t talk to me tonight,” I said.
“You talk to her?” he asked.
“No.”
“Then maybe she’s waiting.”
“Or maybe she’s done.”
Namjoon didn’t say anything to that. He just leaned back and looked at me with those eyes that saw way too much.
“Do you regret it?” he asked.
I blinked. “Regret what?”
“Kissing her.”
I hesitated.
“No,” I said. “Not for a second.”
“She kissed you back.”
“Just for a second.”
“But she did,” he said. “And that means something.”
“Does it?”
He nodded. “It means she hasn’t closed the door. She’s just scared to open it.”
I stared at the floor.
“I don’t want to scare her,” I whispered. “I just want to show her that I’m not that kid anymore. That I’m not running. That I’m here. I’m here.”
Namjoon leaned forward. “Then tell her. Really tell her. Not to fix things. Not to beg. Just to say it. Say what you didn’t back then.”
I nodded slowly.
“We’re leaving tomorrow,” I said. 
“Then tonight’s your last chance.”
“I don’t know if she’ll open the door.”
“Then knock anyway.”
I looked up.
“I’m scared,” I admitted. “If she sends me away, I don’t know if I’ll recover.”
“She won’t send you away,” he said. “Not if you’re honest. Not if you’re real.”
I took a deep breath.
I was real.
I was terrified.
But I was real.
═══════
I didn’t ask what he was doing here.
I didn’t ask why he looked like he hadn’t slept in days or why his fingers were twitching at his sides like they didn’t know how to be still.
I just watched as he stepped inside my apartment, slowly, like the floor might vanish beneath him and closed the door behind him with a soft click.
He stood there for a long time.
Like he couldn’t find the words.
Like if he said the wrong thing, I’d vanish.
I leaned against the wall and waited.
He finally looked up.
“I didn’t know how to leave this city without seeing you again.”
I didn’t reply.
“I’m not asking for anything,” he said. “Not your forgiveness. Not a second chance. Not some happy ending I don’t deserve. I just… I need you to know.”
His voice cracked.
“I need you to know that I never stopped loving you.”
My breath caught.
“I didn’t leave because I stopped. I left because I was scared. And young. And stupid. And then I was ashamed. So ashamed I couldn’t even look at myself. So I blocked you. I shut you out. Because every time I thought of you, I remembered what I threw away.”
My throat burned.
“You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known,” he said. “And you raised our daughter without me. You built a life, a home, a future- and I wasn’t there. I missed her first words. Her first steps. Her birthdays. I missed everything.”
Tears welled in his eyes.
“I don’t deserve to be her dad. I don’t deserve to even stand in this hallway. But I’m here. And if there’s even the smallest piece of you that believes I could be more than what I was-”
He stopped.
Swallowed hard.
“-then I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it.”
The silence that followed felt like thunder.
And then I whispered, “You don’t get to walk back in and say the right thing and expect it to fix the past.”
“I know,” he said, hoarse.
“But…”
He looked up.
“But you said the right thing anyway.”
And then I stepped toward him.
He didn’t move.
Didn’t even breathe.
Until I reached for him.
And he broke.
His hands cupped my face like I was something fragile, like I was glass, like he wasn’t sure if I’d let him keep holding me.
And when he kissed me- this time- I didn’t slap him.
I kissed him back.
Hard. Messy. Real.
It wasn’t slow.
It wasn’t soft.
It was years of ache and regret and longing that had nowhere else to go.
His hoodie came off, tossed aside like it was nothing, and mine followed, sliding to the floor in a forgotten heap.
Hands found skin like they were remembering. His fingers traced the curve of my waist, the dip of my spine, like he was mapping me again, reclaiming territory he’d lost. 
My back hit the hallway wall, the cold plaster a stark contrast to the heat of his body pressing against mine. He kissed down my neck, his breath hot and ragged, and whispered, 
“I missed you so much. I missed this. I missed you.”
I moaned into his mouth, my hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. We stumbled toward the bedroom, shedding layers like they were shackles, breathless and desperate. 
The bed creaked beneath us as he lowered me onto it, his weight hovering above me, his eyes searching mine like he needed permission.
“This okay?” he asked, barely above a whisper, his voice raw with need and uncertainty. I nodded, my heart pounding in my chest, but he needed more. 
“Say it.”
“Yes,” I whispered.
He didn’t hesitate. His lips found mine again, hungry and demanding, but his hands were gentle, reverent, like he was worshipping me. He kissed his way down my body, pausing at my breasts, his tongue tracing the curve of my nipples, his lips murmuring praises against my skin. 
“God, I missed these. So fucking beautiful.”
I arched into his touch, my breath hitching as his hands slid down my thighs, his fingers brushing the edge of my panties. He hooked them with a single finger, pulling them down slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. 
“You’re so perfect,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire. “Always were.”
He kissed his way back up, his lips brushing mine before trailing down my neck, his hands roaming over my body like he was memorizing every inch. 
“I’ve thought about this every day,” he confessed, his breath hot against my ear. “Every. Fucking. Day.”
I reached for him, my hands tracing the lean muscles of his back, the ink of his tattoo sleeve, the piercings that glinted under the dim light. He was solid and real, and I couldn’t stop touching him, like I needed to prove he was here, that this was real.
He shifted above me, his eyes dark with need, and I felt him, hard and insistent against my thigh. 
“I need you,” he growled, his voice rough, his hands gripping my hips. “Now.”
I nodded, my heart racing, my body aching for him. He didn’t waste another second. He entered me slowly, his eyes locked on mine, his breath catching as he filled me completely. 
“Fuck,” he whispered, his forehead resting against mine. “You feel so good.”
He began to move, slow and deliberate, his hips rocking into mine, his hands gripping my thighs like he was anchoring himself to me. 
“Look at me,” he commanded, his voice low and demanding, and I obeyed, my eyes meeting his, holding his gaze as he thrust deeper, harder.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured, his lips brushing mine with each movement. “So perfect.”
His words sent shivers down my spine, his praise fueling the fire burning between us. I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer, meeting his thrusts with my own, our bodies moving in perfect sync. 
“Jungkook,” I gasped, my nails digging into his back, my voice breaking as pleasure coiled tight in my core.
He growled, his pace quickening, his hands gripping my hips tighter, his control slipping. “Cum for me, baby. Let me feel it.”
His words were my undoing. My walls clenched around him, my body trembling as my orgasm crashed over me, waves of pleasure washing through me, my breath catching in a sharp cry. “Jungkook!”
He whispered into my neck, his lips brushing my skin, his voice hoarse and desperate. “I love you. I love you so much.”
His words were a balm, a salve to wounds I didn’t realize were still raw. I clung to him, my fingers digging into his back, my body still trembling as he followed me over the edge, his thrusts becoming frantic, his breath ragged against my skin. 
“Fuck, Y/N,” he groaned, his voice breaking as he came, his body shuddering above me, his release a sharp, primal sound.
He collapsed onto me, his weight heavy but comforting, his breath hot against my neck. For a moment, we just lay there, our hearts pounding in unison, our bodies still joined, the silence thick with unspoken emotions.
He brushed my hair back and kissed my forehead.
“I’m not going anywhere this time,” he said, voice trembling.
I didn’t answer.
But I didn’t ask him to leave either.
And that was enough.
For now.
═══════
I woke up to the sound of his breathing.
Slow. Steady.
It filled the room like the soft hum of a song I hadn’t heard in years.
For a moment, I didn’t open my eyes.
I just listened.
Soaked in the weight of him next to me. The warmth of his arm draped around my waist. The rise and fall of his chest behind my back. His hand, large and gentle, resting against my ribs like he was afraid I’d disappear if he let go.
The light was pale through the blinds. Morning had barely begun.
But the ache in my chest already knew it was time.
I turned over slowly.
He was already awake.
Watching me.
Not smiling. Not saying anything.
Just looking.
Like this was the first morning of his life that made sense.
I searched his face for hesitation.
There wasn’t any.
Just quiet awe.
And something softer than I knew what to do with.
“You didn’t sleep,” I whispered.
“Didn’t want to.”
I blinked. “Why not?”
He reached up and brushed a strand of hair from my cheek.
“Didn’t want to miss this.”
My throat tightened.
I looked away.
“You’re leaving today.”
It wasn’t a question.
He nodded. “My flight’s in four hours.”
I swallowed.
“Will you tell her?”
He nodded again. “I want to. When you’re ready.”
“I don’t know when that’ll be.”
“I’ll wait.”
I looked back at him.
He meant it.
“I don’t know what this is,” I said softly.
“Me neither,” he replied. “But I want to find out.”
Silence stretched between us like thread.
“Can I see you before I go?” he asked.
“You’re seeing me now.”
He smiled. Just barely. “After I pack. Before the airport.”
I didn’t say yes.
But I didn’t say no.
He leaned in and kissed me once- just once- like he didn’t want to ask for more than I could give.
Then he pulled back, exhaled, and whispered:
“I’m so in love with you.”
I didn’t say it back.
But I didn’t need to.
Because he pressed his forehead to mine, closed his eyes, and stayed there for a long time.
And when he finally pulled away, when he slipped out of bed and gathered his things, I watched him with something heavy and quiet in my chest.
Not fear.
Not anger.
Something like hope.
And when Eun Ae woke an hour later and asked where Mr. Kookie was, I smiled, just a little, and said:
“He’s not gone. Not really.”
Because for the first time in years…
I believed it.
═══════
Post A/N: dont hate me 😭 there’s still so much to their story
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These characters are fictional and do not represent any real-life individuals. Their likeness is used solely for visual inspiration and does not reflect the actual person or their story.
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Posted: 06/24/2025
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