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seraphrelic · 24 days ago

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⟡ 𓂃 ࣪˖ ONLY IN THE SHADOWS — Anakin Skywalker x reader.

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SUMMARY: Two Jedi navigate the difficult the impossible line between loyalty and longing.

A/N: i was YEARNING for anakin angst for so long i took matters into my own hands </3 a little rushed n rough around the edges but let’s ignore that🤞

WARNINGS: heartbreak, forbidden love, public humiliation

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Whatever you were doing, it was dangerous, unthinkable, even. Something the Jedi code would’ve never allowed, not in a million years.

And yet, here you were with the infamous Skywalker, a last name recognisable within the entire galaxy, right in your bed. Your head was gently placed on his torso, hearing his heartbeat and the occasional rise of his chest.

The silence between you was peaceful, nothing was meant to be said, just the both of you here, in this moment, was enough.

A constant loop. The two of you, sneaking around, hiding, knowing this shouldn’t take place. You’d promise each other no more, yet those empty vows would be broken, over and over.

“Anakin?” Your voice hummed against his chest, causing his gaze to shift from the dimly lit corner of your room, back to the crown of your head, resting just beneath his chin.

He didn’t say anything, just hummed in response, awaiting to hear whatever was on your mind, what you had to say.

“Do you think-“ Trailing off, you tried to find the right words to form your thoughts, to make them sound meaningful.

“Do you think if we weren’t Jedi, we’d be able to live like this freely? No Jedi code, nothing to hold us back?”

Those words rung in his ears louder than any command the Council had ever given him, louder than duty, louder than reason.

He wanted to give you an honest answer, but he couldn’t. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. It was the kind of question that didn’t have a correct way to answer it.

As the stillness settled, you took Anakin’s silence as an answer to your quiet wondering.

Eventually, you allowed sleep to overtake you, muffling any thoughts still lingering in your mind about the Jedi, anything even merely connected to him.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

The mornings always ended up cold, subconsciously reaching for the warmth you fell asleep with, only to be met with disappointment.

Same routine every time. The both of you would fall asleep, tangled in each other, to then open your eyes to an empty space, just a faint scent indicating his presence the night before.

It drilled a hole within you each time, even though you understood, you had to. Jedi weren’t meant to be this close, this deep in feelings, and yet you couldn’t brush it away.

With a sigh, you slipped your Jedi robes on, the hilt of your lightsaber sliding into the side of the uniform with a gentle click.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“Y/n!” A familiar voice called out, followed by Ahsoka who ran up to you in the hall, a smile painted across her face. „Where’ve you been?”

Your brows furrowed in confusion, a little worried now. „Did something happen?”

„Well, there’s gonna be a mission soon. You’ll join me and my master,”

Joining Ahsoka with Anakin. Seemed like an interesting turn of events, not like you had any plans for today anyway.

A part of you felt a little nervous. You hadn’t seen him at all, then again, it was only the morning — he usually was busy at this time.

Boarding the ship was a fast process, per usual. Exceptionally quiet, maybe because everyone was still a little droopy, you hoped.

Anakin sat in the pilot seat, right next to you. His gaze was locked on avoiding any obstacles, but he could’ve said something, you thought.

Ahsoka was in the middle of you, cleaning up the hilt of her lightsaber. Perhaps the silence also bothered her as much as it bothered you.

„Is something the matter, Skywalker?” Upon hearing those words, his gaze instinctively drifted to your features. „No, why?” He answered, trying to dismiss any concerns you might’ve had.

He sounded calm, nothing that could’ve indicated anything otherwise, but it didn’t sound believable, not really.

It was always like this. Beneath the moonlight, his eyes had this certain look in them, as if you were the only person in the entire galaxy. Like only you mattered.

In the daytime, things were different, as expected. Playing the role of two Jedi, completing their duties with no strings attached. A cycle you had to endure.

And yet, sometimes you hoped it could’ve been different. It was a false hope, you were well aware, but nothing could’ve dulled the ache. The want in not needing to hide your feelings with the Jedi anymore.

Ahsoka glanced at the both of you, even though it was obvious she was pretending to not pay attention to the short conversation. Not that she suspected anything, though.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

The mission went well. That’s what you would’ve said if not for the fact that you were attacked by bounty hunters, not like they stood a chance.

„Snips, stay put!” Anakin exclaimed, not even waiting for Ahsoka’s answer, currently in a battle with one of the enemies, occasionally glancing back at you.

Your lightsaber worked overtime, blocking every hit that went your way, the Jedi title in front of your name didn’t stand there for no reason. It was an indication of your training, growing strength over the years.

„Y/n, behind you!” Ahsoka raised her voice, only now noticing the bounty hunter creeping up, but it was too late.

All the others were fought off, but this specific one ended up slicing your shoulder, just a bit.

Anakin’s lightsaber seeped right through him shortly after, but missed catching your body to dull the pain appearing shortly.

Your teeth gritted against each other, brows scrunched together, wincing when your fingers brushed against the clothed wound.

„Kriff, just hold on!” Ahsoka hurriedly put her lightsaber away, the only thing you managed to remember before your vision started to blur and softly blacken.

Warmth. The sound of crackling fire humming in your ears, your eyesight becoming more vivid with each blink.

„She’s reckless.”

„Cut her some slack, she was just caught offguard,”

It was clear they were having a conversation, but a part of you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe it was about you? Sure, you could’ve stopped the bounty hunter in time, but a tragedy didn’t happen.

Your eyes closed shut as the pain in your upper shoulder appeared once more, your arms shaking just a bit as you sat up straight.

Eyes locking almost immediately with Anakin felt uncertain, like you weren’t even aware of what to expect from him.

Ahsoka shot you a warm, sympathetic smile. Clearly she was the one that bandaged you up. Anakin didn’t, his expression was the opposite, now that you were able to compare it to his Padawan.

„I’ll uhm—I’ll leave you to it,” Sensing the uneasy silence, the ship suddenly became very interesting, like it needed something to be checked, fixed, leaving the two of you alone.

„What was that?” His expression was unreadable, yet his words were laced with irritation, you could tell. „I’m sorry?”

„You really couldn’t fight him off? He could’ve brought an end to your life, and you don’t care?”

Your eyebrows scrunched together, trying to figure out where this was coming from. It’s not like the mission failed, so why was he overreacting?

„I was just surprised, is all.” You shot back, your tone becoming a little snarky now. Just the night before, he held you close to his chest, now this?

„You’re too reckless,” He replied, his voice sounding more annoyed.

With a forced laugh, you raised your eyebrows. „Oh, and you’re not? How many ships have you crashed from your thinking?”

„If you even think, that is. Sometimes it seems like you don’t.”

That was the last straw for Anakin. He shot you a glare you couldn’t quite decipher, watching his hand pinch the bridge of his nose.

The atmosphere was tense. It was evident he was upset, but was he really this riled up over a minor accident, or was it something else?

„Look, I don’t know what happened, but you can talk to me,” This time, your voice was a lot softer, wanting to figure out what exactly was bothering him.

„Just forget it, maybe Snips needs some help.” His words were harsh, cutting deeper than any wound could. He got up, the sound of his footsteps shortly disappearing.

 That night, it was difficult to fall asleep. Your mind kept returning back to the conversation between you and the Jedi, trying to get a sense of understanding.

You knew he wasn’t asleep, even though he was a bit further than you. Tossing and turning was a clear sign of it.

Biting your lip, you tried to suppress any words that could’ve come out, but to no use.

„Ani?”

It came out muffled, almost like a whisper, careful enough to not wake up Ahsoka, but loud enough for Anakin, who was wide awake, to hear.

„Hm?” That sound startled you just slightly, but it was nice to hear him not pissed off by Maker knows what.

For a moment, you hesitated. What could you even say, come join me?

„My shoulder still hurts, could you check?”

That was the dumbest excuse you’ve ever said. It was obviously a way to get him next to you, to warm up the empty sleeping bag.

After a moment of silence, he finally turned around, locking eyes with yours. For a moment, you hoped that he was about to do what you asked for.

„Y’know we can’t, right? Not how things work,” Somehow, that was painful to hear. Almost like a rejection, even though he had a point.

„Right, yeah,” Your gaze drifted off of him to the ground. „Sorry, for asking—I mean,”

Normally, he would’ve offered you some other form of comfort. Like a smile, maybe whisper some sweet-nothings in your ear to help you sleep better.

„Get some sleep, hm?” His words were neutral, no emotions lingering. No smile attached, just the brief gaze at you before turning around, his back facing you now.

It stung. It really did. You weren’t sure what was going on, but there was definitely something lingering between the both of you.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Over the course of the next few days, it continued. Short glances, no more time spent together, nothing. Your shoulder wasn’t as sore anymore, but even that could take your mind off of Anakin.

It was selfish, you thought. He had his own duties, whether it was his own work or something to do with the clones, he couldn’t offer you all of his time.

But surely, a little wouldn’t hurt?

After your training with the younglings, you spotted a familiar, dark robe in the hallway, curls you would’ve recognised anywhere. Nobody was around, this was your chance.

„Anakin? Do you have a moment?” You watched him stiffen up, as if startled, but he wouldn’t show it too much. His back wasn’t facing you anymore, which was some sort of progress.

He didn’t speak, just simply waited for you to continue.

„I just, I wanted to ask if anything’s wrong, maybe we need to talk—„

„There’s nothing to talk about.”

What? Nothing to talk about when he’s been acting weird, treating you completely differently?

„No, I think there is. A lot, actually.” As he was about to turn away, your hand gripped his arm, careful to not let go.

Anakin was most likely about to say something, when suddenly Obi-Wan crossed the corner.

“Anakin, may I speak to you?” His voice was calm, almost as if he didn’t suspect a thing about what you two were talking about.

“Yes, Obi-Wan.” He replied, his voice monotone. He simply shared a quick glance with you, your grip subconsciously loosening.

Obi-wan’s gaze lingered on you, his expression a little puzzled. “Hope I didn’t interrupt anything?”

“Oh, not at all. He’s all yours,” The smile you gave him was forced. Of course, you weren’t upset with Kenobi, not at all, but he really could’ve chosen a different time.

They both paced the hallways in silence, before Obi-Wan cleared his throat. “You two are close,”

Anakin’s jaw tightened almost immediately, but his expression remained calm. “No, not really, She’s a good Jedi, is all.”

Obi-Wan nodded, pausing slightly. He gathered his thoughts for a moment before speaking up.

“Do take care, Anakin. The line between closeness and attachment can be, imperceptible.”

Anakin’s eyes were unreadable, his gaze shifting from the floor to his former master. “I haven’t crossed it.”

Obi-Wan knew well. He was able to tell what his past apprentice was going through. By no means was Anakin a person easy to read.

From that point on, Anakin actively avoided you, at first it was pretty subtle. His presence was missed in rooms he’d usually be in, not a bit deal, you thought.

Anytime you stepped into a room, he’d always have an excuse up his sleeve to leave, which raised your suspicions.

The final blow was him walking past you, ignoring anything you did to grab his attention. That was a new low, especially from him.

Of course, deeper relationships with the Jedi were prohibited, both of you knew, but did you truly deserve to be treated like this?

Absolutely not. So you followed him, right down to the war room hallway, filled with Jedi and clones.

“Anakin—please!” In a flash of helplessness, you call out to him, causing heads to turn from all around, just not his. Not yet.

Your voice was low, trembling.

“You can’t keep doing this, I don’t even know what we are anymore—If we’re anything, if we ever were—“

Your words were cut off with Anakin turning around, a blank expression on his face. He didn’t even let you finish.

“General L/N,” He trails off, loud enough for the other Jedi to hear. “These kinds of..forbidden feelings are unacceptable within the Jedi code.”

The room was silent. Dead quiet. It’s like time was completely stopped.

Your breath stopped, lips slightly parted, eyebrows scrunched and eyes already filled with tears. You didn’t expect such humiliation.

“Is that really what it was to you?” Your voice shaky, trembling, but he didn’t react. Not one bit. He just turned around and walked away. Stiff, unreadable.

Leaving you in absolute pieces under a thousand, watchful eyes.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

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seraphrelic · 25 days ago

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୨୧ — LUKE SKYWALKER x rebellion helper reader ⋆˙⟡ short ver.

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⊹ Being a member of the Rebellion was extraordinary, an experience like no other. It required skill, courage, and most of all, hope.

⊹ That is, if you were apart of a section as an active participant, which you weren’t. Your job wasn’t anything special, just a mere assistant, helper.

⊹ It’s not like you didn’t enjoy it, Kriff, this wasn’t an opportunity given out to anyone, to be able to help even in the slightest for a good cause. But sometimes, it did feel a little miserable.

⊹ Always waking up in the early, orange sky mornings, expected to be on your feet and fulfill your duties for the day. Which of course, you did, not like you had any other choice.

⊹ Not only was it mandatory for you to assist pilots whenever needed, it was also required for you to have general knowledge about fixing up ships. It was tiring, always leaving you with a bit of grease on your hands, face and sometimes even clothes.

⊹ Nobody really made an effort to talk to you. The general topic was always missions, duties and even more mission talk. It was expected, yes, but there were times where sometimes you wished you could share a conversation with someone.

⊹ Until he came along. The bright-eyed, curious farm boy. Quick learner, always eager to see what kind of sights were left unexplored. Received lots of praises. Golden boy.

⊹ Then, something unexpected happened. He started paying you more attention than anyone else has, so far.

﹒”Hey, wait up!” His words were a little loud, but laced with good intentions. “Never quite got your name,” Jogging, just a little, to catch up with your pace.

﹒You suddenly froze, a bit stunned. “Uhm—It’s Y/n,” Your lips curled up into an awkward smile, not even remembering the last time someone’s asked that. How pathetic did that sound.

﹒”Well, Y/n, thanks for stocking me up with all those supplies. The med kit ended up being quite the useful thing.”

⊹ His golden locks sticked to his forehead, the shirt from his uniform tied around his waist, his undershirt clinging onto his form, and yet that toothy grin was the one feature that really caught your attention.

Luke shortly had to leave you after that, a voice calling him out by his last name, possibly for some extra training. And then it just kept happening.

After his missions, he’d ask about your day, plans, hell, he even invited you a few times to join him and the rest of the crew at the Cantina. It felt a little refreshing, if you had to be honest. Like you were finally apart of something.

He had no idea how much he’s changed things for you, simply doing it out of the kindness of his heart.

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A/N: a little short, i know!!😭 but i was just really eager to get this out there, especially since it’s luke <3 he deserves so much more credit I SWEARRR — I’m also taking requests! mostly for the characters i’ve already written for; but I’m open to any suggestions

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