#massive wall of text

[boiledkwamaegg]

I think it just clicked with me why when I first saw Faenil I thought they were really neat. they delve into the science aspect of Elder Scrolls which I feel like not a lot of OCs do unless they study Dwemer stuff or are House Telvanni. and I LOVE the slight sci-fi aspects Elder Scrolls has cuz if feels like no other fantasy series does that.

LONG ASS RAMBLE TIME!!! I'm putting most of it under a cut again. I'm gonna power through some other interesting asks today as well. But yes!!! I'm glad you sent this because I am so fascinated with the sci-fi themes in this series too! I guess when I started thinking about Faenil as a concept, I figured that a flesh mage should definitely know quite a lot about biology and medicine in order to properly work with their craft. But then I came across a problem - why would a society built around magic need a science-based doctor when there's alchemy and restoration magic?

I vaguely remember reading some story within one of the games (forgot which one it was) where someone gets sick and someone drives themselves mad trying to find a cure - so clearly there are limitations to restoration and alchemy when it comes to healing, but it's kind of left up for interpretation.

So here's where my own stupid headcanons come in. I mean, if a cure disease potion cures a contracted disease, kinda like an antibiotic, and restoration magic helps with closing wounds, then what do you do when there's something else wrong with your body? What if magic isn't always an available option? What do you do when someone has cancer, or even a benign tumor - what do you do when someone's appendix is about to burst - what do you do when someone has a heart condition - or diabetes - or failing organs... the list is endless, and I'm sure highly developed societies within fantasy settings have people who are specialized to figure these things out! And what's better than mixing magic with science?

I know in the games magic is pretty mechanical in the sense that most of it is only meant to aid you through combat, but the combat in the games is objectively pretty simple and boring, and I'm sure there are other unique ways to apply magic to the daily lives of people in Tamriel. What if you can use something like detect life (alteration) similarly to an x-ray? What if you can enchant medical instruments similarly to weapons and apparel? Could you create something like NSAIDs out of common alchemical ingredients? Can frost magic be used to freeze organs? Could you defibrillate someone's heart with dual shock magic? I have so many ideas. I'm especially obsessed with the notion that surgeries are so intricate that they might as well be considered magical rituals with the way poor preparation and the wrong tools will lead to a complete catastrophe. And obviously cleanliness and proper sterilization is vital to pretty much anything medical wise - but this is also a medieval fantasy land where medicine is still very experimental and understudied, so things will go wrong a lot! So, with that being said, I don't have to feel bad for not being a medical expert - I dropped out of medical school twice but at least I get to live my dreams through this fucked up and evil altmer OC haha

Thing with Faenil is that despite their absolute dogshit interpersonal skills giving a different impression, they ARE intelligent, not only because mages are a class built on intelligence, but because a doctor needs critical thinking skills; they need to be able to problem solve and they need to be highly analytical. So, while they are pretty inexperienced with the things they come across in Skyrim, they are constantly taking notes in their little journal and figuring out the easy way around taking down some new type of enemy or solving some weird dungeon puzzle. For example, I don't think Faenil has ever seen dwemer contraptions before, but they have definitely studied the dwemer from books and applied some of their mechanics to prosthetic limbs, so it's gonna be fun to explore how they will tackle something like a dwarven centurion considering they will most likely try to analyze its design to find out how to turn it off and then come up with a strategy to get to it. And, of course, they will realize eventually that teamwork is essential, just like it was with their work back in Alinor, and it will hopefully be pretty satisfying when Faenil gets an idea and everything falls into place just right every once in a while.

All this to say, Faenil is also one of those annoying "get destroyed by facts and logic" type people LMAO they will literally taunt a god in their face, get struck by lightning, and say it proves nothing.

[clouvu]

Cooking up an older Clervie outfit design so I don't have to keep drawing her looking like her child self but Long

[beescake]

PLEASE PLEASE MEGADUMP THE ARASOL!!! PLEAAASEE MR BEESCAKE I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING YOU

HFHGHD GLADLY aaa i’ve been adding notes to it here and there for months but just hesitant to post it bcs im 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂

also this is just my own takeaway of the events, it doesn’t necessarily comply to the Ultimate Truth of Canon-Alignment or represent the actual facts of what hussie intended! v sentimental smh but hopefully its still interesting to read

i love when characters inform each other by proximity, it's one of my fave things to see in media :') it feels even more significant when two characters deliberately choose to stick together, so that when one operates, you can tell the other is similarly aligned in associative solidarity.

sollux is a keystone of this trope — whoever he aligns with is a wordless statement, a nod of approval. this stood out to me bcs the main four humans were alr friends by default, but once you reach hivebent you realize the trolls can actively choose who they want to hang out with.

and as we all know, after assessing every troll's biases/loyalties, sollux is the only one who maintains his selective preference for innately Good 👍 people.

aradia is such a beautiful character honestly, she evokes such incredible feelings in me. she might not have been consistently written with care but the best parts of her character are truly stunning. i think it's easy to remember sollux as the self-sacrificing one bc he's so open about it (and his friends frequently react to his Moments) but when you compare him to aradia, it's always struck me

how much more. raw it is

to be so alone as an agent of time, having to orchestrate immeasurably harrowing events nobody understands or gives a fuck about

with your role painted in the story as one who must tend to the needs of the narrative, responsible to match every next note

because when you're given the capabilities, it becomes your duty to carry it out.

it becomes expected of you to keep experimenting and arranging the machinations to work for everyone, dusting off hundreds of necessary failures to keep going

and having to be so unwavering in your drive knowing miserably that there's no one who can help you but yourself.

or alternatively: to make things fun! so other people won't think twice about letting you go off on your own.

sure she's had some very good buds, notably thanks to Team Charge v Team Scourge antics.

and yet, at the end of the day, the one friend that kept choosing her time and time again was the friend with the highest standards.

i can see why people like to define arasol as moirails/matesprits but surprisingly i find the nondescript, unlabeled aspect of their relationship more straightforward to understand.

there's no shortage of people who would accommodate sollux. most of the surviving trolls are his oldest friends bcs he’d chosen them well. his transparency with his feelings had built him strong friendships that won’t falter or break, regardless of how much of a dick he can be. they’ve already seen and accepted him at his worst, and they still like him for who he is.

contrast that with aradia, who'd been so approachable, friendly and reliable in her exchanges it was super fun to talk to her. but the moment she became depressed, all her connections broke down.

her friends became hesitant to interact with her (until she became god tier, “happy” and amicable again) because her gloom and resignation didn’t serve them. she dealt with it alone.

there’s def something of note here abt the disparity between the way male & female characters are written+perceived in homestuck (esp parallel arasol with davejade) but i won’t go into that lmaoo

with this in mind i like to think of sollux as a gift to her, a loyal companion given to complement and commend her resolve. she's capable of doing so much alone but hussie took the time to build her and sollux's relationship as one of a unit; a set.

the ambiguity of their status does complicate things, but i do believe it makes sense with their characters. aradia's relationship with romance is a rocky one, the dubious stringalong equius had with her is a pointed reminder that her feelings of attraction are ultimately controlled by the author writing her.

unlike the other trolls who can openly address and own up to their crushes, aradia had romantic emotions forced upon her (especially when hussie implies 'she kissed equius back on her own volition'). and it seems like her character is so intrinsically neutral abt attraction that even when forced by the almighty powers above, she's unable to retain it wholly.

however, looking back to pre-game when she could actually "choose" her own feelings, she did have a crush on sollux.

their soft spots for each other were so obvious to the point where other people could see it.

taunting aside, when vriska comments on their unit as bf/gf it actually informs the audience that arasol's relationship is romantic in nature despite not aligning with the quadrant system.

even while dead, aradia could still describe her care for sollux, expressing that she would like to see him happy. if they had more time to explore their relationship on alternia, it's possible they could've settled in a quadrant once they grew older.

but going back to the lack of labels, their dynamic was affected once more when aradia became god tier.

to me, her ascension was both the perfect culmination and possible closure of her character. it's the light at the end of her journey toiling through countless of timelines where she had to actively assess and participate. that's why it's cool to see her being silly and having fun giving guidance, passively exploring and watching other people do their parts.

and yet the joy of her freedom makes it hard to explore further introspection. if we take her by her word, she'd already come to terms with the hurt she's been through and forgiven those involved.

i can't help feeling attuned to how impersonal and detached it can be, to devote and meld your identity so completely with your designated position as Maid of Time until you've become hard for your old friends (and even some readers!) to personally connect to.

idk post-canon but i assume there’s some degree of similarity to be bridged here with aradia's god tier and how the hs2 humans' Ultimate forms was described as a consolidation of all their possibilities. since aradia's classpect is inherently of service to Time, going god-tier may have elevated her beyond personhood with the "game construct" possessing her entirely. sollux doesn't realize the extent of it bcs he's still mortal, but a part of him may have subconsciously understood this.

i think there is a core aspect to aradia that was lost to the dehumanizing glory of god tier — a core aspect that may have contained an element of why sollux enjoyed talking to her in the first place.

to him, aradia hadn't just been a nice girl, she was a cool girl. despite not having much in common, he's still willing to chill next to her so she's not alone while she does what needs to get done.

back on alternia, they held a mutual and equal-level regard for each other that could've definitely settled into something permanent. but now, he's placed himself in a position where he can be kept around or left behind at will. the parameters of the relationship are largely in aradia's court, so any label she suggests to identify their relationship with he's likely to accept.

but that's why it's so difficult to label it. because god tier aradia may not necessarily Want quadrants or relationship labels. rather than the initial romantic attachment, their commitment to each other had evolved into one fundamentally of companionship.

no label? ok fine. no matter what, he still thinks she's a good soul worth latching on to. the best, actually. aradia > everyone else.

even if it gets stilted at times. there's an unexpected struggle to connect when sollux's go-to default for talking points is his feelings about things, and aradia may not want to talk about emotions all the time.

not to mention god tier aradia became an observer, especially of chaos. but sollux's avoidance of involvement comes partially from his innate pressure to get involved if something goes wrong. and he can't always tell when something goes wrong, because aradia doesn't mind if things go wrong anymore.

it's a non-negotiable preference that causes them to take the occasional time apart, a new boundary that wouldn't have existed before the game and aradia's god tier.

but just like how his friends tolerated his moods, sollux accepts aradia as she is. with no quadrants, their connection doesn't break down because there's no implicit romantic expectations to be disappointed by or resentful over.

sometimes when i see hs content that deliberately distances sollux from aradia, i assume this is the dissonance people might have felt. people might find it "easier" to be cynical about them bcs of this strange tension.

but idc lmao. grab that shit by the neck

lack of easy resolutions and cleanly tied ribbons is pretty standard of homestuck and imo it doesn't make arasol's dynamic any less incredible. with the right affection and consideration, there's still so much potential to develop the nuance of their relationship outside of the popular quadrant-based depictions.

hs has a lot of really great character compatibilities but the way aradia and sollux are in their own special orbit is why i can write this much about them in the first place. it's that frail innocence between first loves that makes it so sweet to me, two kids who grew up too fast playing guesswork without being clear where they're going.

ultimately i do think you're meant to feel a little tragedy for just how much they care for each other, even if they can't quite establish it in simple terms.

maybe they keep taking breaks to progress their own paths. maybe they remain as anchor partners while seeing other people. but even if you decide to separate them, they're still (awkwardly) texting each other updates all the while. and when they reunite it feels like coming home.

and well. more than anything, i like to believe that they do want to be exclusive.

they're just afraid. after all, they're still learning how to love, beyond the projections of the foursquare quadrant system they had inadvertently distanced themselves from since young.

they might not have everything figured out, but they'll get there eventually if you just hold them together and write them there.

optional post-canon segment:

one of the limitations of main hs is that (monogamous) relationships are often written as the go-to solution to wrap up character growth; it's an easy "patch" to imagine characters getting their happy ending because they have a partner, and those who don't end up with someone don't get that closure (most notably jade).

hs2 reaffirms this by suggesting that aradia's character cannot progress without letting sollux go, because happily settling in a relationship automatically locks your potential.

that pathetic panel of sollux staring emptily into the sky is still my fave hs2 spoiler ngl i find the impact of their parting so emotionally provoking precisely bcs they were written in original hs to be each other's forever, coming back together again and again

but now, they're subject to the decisions of the post-canon authors who might choose to deviate from that.

it's not new for them to part, but now there's an underlying worry that her dropping him off this time might be the last time. while i think the prospect of shattering their stability to make them grow separately sounds fun on paper, no amount of me desperately hoping for a good execution is gonna guarantee it

idk. i guess prediction-wise im expecting sollux in classic dramatic-hs2 fashion to tell dave to back off aradia LMAO. otherwise it's just gon be sollux and karkat pathetically watching aradia and dave from a distance swimming in their unresolved feelings for narratively-powerful time players smh obvs it sounds corny as hell but who knows its still plausible

srsly tho i hope they take the opportunity to develop arasol's relationship in a fresh direction that doesn't hurt me too badly...... and i hope they force sollux out of his comfort zone. i like watching him struggle :-)

[uwuwha]

And oh, I wish I could hold you in my arms || but lately my body has been so afraid

A comic for @cometquest's blocktales apocalypse au! Can be interpreted either romantic or platonic. I kind of made my own story here, but you should definitely go check the au out!! His character designs are sick as hell and I've been a bit insane about them lately 🙏🙏!

Text reads: And if I knew you a little less, and my soul held a little less pride, I'd ask for you to stay safe by my side. But in my heart, I have long known what your answer would be.

Some extras below the readmore! Fair warning it's quite long

The comic without leetspeak!

In honour of the most recent lore post

Banner says: and me I feel also not so good Griefer's saying: Dude this yogurt fucking sucks

And my original tags condensed into incomprehensible paragraphs because there was not enough space to fit all of them underneath. Dear lord.

Genuinely I keep thinking about them oh my lord. The way in a normal world they would have never met. Wouldn't have even known eachother existed except in passing and rumors. Yet in this world where everything is falling apart Griefer and Jim are the only lifelines in their towns, do they meet even if its in voicechat. The only way Roadtown can talk to Turitopulis. And if Red lives in somewhere other than Roadtown or Blackrock, then Jim is quite literally the only way Brad can get updates on his father.

So they start talking and planning and communicating. And they communicate and they learn about eachother and they start talking more than strictly necessary and days or months or maybe years later, Griefer suddenly realizes that he's looking forward to his next conversation with Jim. He likes talking to him. He finds comfort with him. He cares a lot for Jim. A lot. Like a bird trying to rip out of his chest. Over the voice on his headphones who hes never seen before.

And if he knew Jim a little less well. If he maybe he were willing to beg a little more. He might've asked Jim to go and live in blackrock like his dad, or even go to Turitopulis to stay with him. But he knows who Jim is, and he knows who he is, and if someone had ever asked him to leave Turitopulis he would've socked them in the face. And even though he's calmer and more mellower than him, Griefer knows Jim would never think about leaving Roadtown for it to defend itself. And nobodys really manning the planes except for Jerry nowdays. So he never bothers asking.

But like a riving pounding against stone, the voices know they can't last forever and one day, maybe the voices finally got to him or maybe it was an act of self sacrifice, but Jim blows himself up. And all of the sudden Brad is left with headphones that emit static, no contact to Roadtown, and a sinking pit in his stomach. Do you see my vision here. Gripping myself.

[cacodaemonia]

Not to be a fucking dinosaur, but I am begging people to please use at least some punctuation online. Like, many of the things you say are actually incomprehensible when you don't separate them into chunks with periods and commas.

And this isn't me insisting that people 'use proper grammar' but just pointing out that communicating your ideas clearly is kind of important??

[almostswagkid]

Okay, a little analysis on sinners' strength yuppie

Yi Sang and Sinclair are obvious. Sinc is very young and never got a chance to actually train (tho he mentioned that he started working out) and Yi Sang had never held something heavier than a book in his life

Ishmael and Heath are pretty obvious too. Again, they've never trained, but got stronger due to their lifestyles. There's a big difference between working a hard job and actually working out (telling this as a person that spends some of her working hours in the warehouse)

Rodya for me was obvious too. Most likely she never trained or even thought about it. Like hell, she thinks she's already perfect and doesn't need to change. That's the entire point of her character and without that the plot wouldn't happen to begin with

I honestly thought Hong Lu would be higher, considering what he had told about how he was trained, but guess I was wrong. But again, pretty obvious. Especially if we look at how massive his weapon is and how easily he wields it

Faust was a surprise for me ngl. But, I did some research on how people fight with a zweihander and yeah, she's strong

Meuesault is just a gigachad

Ryoshu is a very talented swordsman. Like hell, she fights with her odachi sheathed and still can easily slice through several people. That's some pure strength and talent

Outis and Don are also very obvious. Two war criminals. One is just very dedicated to her craft, plus things I've already said before. The other is a bloodfiend with big ass lance almost twice her size

Now, a little speculation about Gregor. In the sweepers intervallo, during the assassination, the only ones who survived were the top four in terms of strength (Don, Outis, Ryoshu and Meur). So, we can make an assumption that Greg is somewhere in the top five

I mean it's very obvious that he's also strong. He's built like a fucking tank (I've spent some time analysing his body on ingame art ((for science)). Also I noticed that his waist is twice shorter than his shoulders). And, considering his fighting style, his back, shoulders and legs should be like a fucking brick wall. Basically, his arm acts like a very weird harpoon. Plus the stuff Hohenheim said about him

So yeah, I have no doubt that he's strong

[sausage-rolll]

My take on the promised consort.

I believe that Radahn held the stars in place when Ranni began fearing her fate. She never wanted to become a puppet to the two fingers, and Radahn knowing this attempted to hold off her destiny for as long as possible. Though he likely knew that it would be an inevitability. The only other two living empyreans were cursed afterall. 

There was no way that Miquella or Malenia would be able to take Marika’s place, the two fingers weren’t even the slightest bit interested in either of them. Malenia was already claimed by the God of Rot and Miquella was perpetually in a state of adolescence. Ranni seems to be the only one who was ever actively bothered by her fingers and I believe this is because they had an intense desire for her to be the next god, assuming Miquella and Malenia as lost causes due to their curse.

I think this is when Miquella came to Radahn with a proposition. He will be seeking godhood. Even if the two fingers had no interest in him, even if the world thought him too small and frail to ascend, he was going to find a way, no matter the consequences. He was determined to become the next God and lead the world into an era of abundance and peace. To fix the mistakes of the past.

He only had one simple request.

“Promise me, you’ll be my consort.”

If Miquella were to ascend then Ranni would be free of her duty. She’d be able to live in peace knowing that she’d never have to be controlled by another's will. She wouldn’t have to become a god, she wouldn’t have to succeed queen Marika. And to top it all off, Radahn would get to play the role of his hero Godfrey. Ushering in a new era alongside a new god.

It was perfect.

That was, until the night of the black knives. The night the world was thrown into chaos. The night that the first demigods fell. And the night that he lost his sister.

Radahn likely wouldn’t have known about Ranni’s plot and would have thought her dead alongside the other victims of the night. Ranni was gone, and with her, so too was Radahns need for Miquella’s age.

I believe Radahn, fueled by grief, rage and the mad taint of his greatrune, denounced Miquella and struck out on his own as a warrior of the shattering. He didn’t need peace, he didn’t need Miquella. All he wanted was to fight. All he wanted now was endless war.

Maybe that would be enough to dull the pain of his loss? Not only the loss of his sibling and father, but also the loss of his purpose.

-

Now picture Miquella. Making the final preparations to begin his ascension. Only there’s one problem. His consort has abandoned him at the very last moment. As it turns out, it seems Radahn never really cared for Miquella or his visions for a new age, he was only really in it for his own gain. 

Imagine how devastated Miquella would be. Knowing that yet another one of his plans had fallen apart at the finish line. That the person he trusted to rule alongside him didn’t even hesitate to abandon him when it was no longer convenient for him.

His ascension to godhood would never happen. He would never be able to heal his sister. He would never be able to bring forth an age of compassion. He would never be able to right the wrongs of the past.

He had failed again.

Now imagine how furious this would make his people. How angry his followers and his sister would be to see Miquella rejected at such a pivotal moment. To see him mourning a consortship and an age that would never come to pass.

Is there really any wonder that they chose to march towards Caelid and deliver the promised consort by force?

[atlaslovesedm]

DELTARUNE CHAPTERS 3+4 SPOILERS

(MOSTLY RELATIVELY MINOR SPOILERS BUT STILL)

various deltadoodles

[gunners-and-feathers]

Knock, knock.

"Mon chéri? Are you in here? I... I have an offer for you, if you are not too busy."

- @the-spy-red

It's been boring, these past few days. At least for Mick, anyway. He's reserved himself to tidying up whenever he's so inclined, although most of the time has passed with him taking apart his guns, or carving up what ever he can think to in the moment.

Which leads to now, with him sitting at the dining table as he idly thumbs through a magazine. The contents of it are useless to him, only skimming through it to occupy his hands as his thoughts primarily drift into nonsense.

The knock tugs him away from his mind, a sense of relief washing over him as he pulls himself from his seat and approaches the door, peeling away the blinds to look back at Lucien before wordlessly opening it with a click.

"Eh…" He glances back at the magazine, only now crossing his mind that it happened to be one on fashion. "Nah, I'm not. What did you have in mind?"

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

Matilda: Hey. Tristen: Hi… Matilda: You’re early-.. live nearby? [Tristen nodded, jerking a thumb over his shoulder toward the flat above the pharmacy] Matilda: Seriously? Tristen: It’s not as nice as it looks on the inside, there’s damp n’ mold everywhere. Matilda: Damp, in this weather? Tristen: Not so much in the summer, s’nice n’ cheap though-.. so, what do you wanna do? Matilda: You had all day yesterday to think of something to do. Tristen: So did you! Matilda: I don’t live here. Tristen: Okay, fair-.. uh, there’s not much to do, to be honest. We could go out later but, well.. I usually avoid all that. Matilda: Oh, yeah.. I get that. It’s not like I really drink either. Tristen: True, so..? Matilda: [laughs] Make a decision, Triss. Tristen: Aha, okay-.. uh, let’s explore, maybe get something to eat. Matilda: Sure, take me to your favourite places n’ stuff. Tristen: How likely are you to barf if we take a scooter ride..? … Matilda: How far are we going? Tristen: Not too far-.. squeeze me if you wanna switch though, yeah? Matilda: Deal.

[boiledkwamaegg]

i was wondering, what is faenil’s relationship with religion? do they hate the gods for making them the dragonborn, or maybe they never cared about that stuff at all? did they dabble in making deals with the daedra?

You've unlocked a topic I'm very passionate about LOL I wanted to ponder on this one for a bit but I finally got around to answering, yay!

To start off, I'm linking a song here from Faenil's playlist that I think sums it up well. After all, the story of the dragonborn to me has always been about ascending to god status. Being something so big all in one single mortal body, that the rest of the gods are fighting over it. A soul sent by the god of time all the way to the afterlife to kill the end of the world. In Faenil's case, this soul is so bitter, so angry and so very very hurt, and they will do all of this while rubbing a big nasty middle finger in Akatosh's face.

I'm putting the rest of this text under a cut - TW: i explore religious trauma here and mention suicidal tendencies briefly...

I am really fond of the idea that the chosen one, the hero, is reluctant or almost unwilling to play their part. I mean, Faenil is straight up UNQUALIFIED to be the dragonborn. Yes, they are skilled, they are powerful, they are resilient, and they get shit done, but they are definitely not a hero, and they're just one mental breakdown away from letting the whole world end. And like, they know they're unqualified, and they are so very confused by it all. Well, someone has to do it, but why them specifically? And while they might use this hero title to get away with some questionable things every now and then, they kind of hate that they can do that. After all, Faenil has always believed that you get your way through hard work and planning, so the dragonborn stuff just feels... almost like some sick joke from the gods.

I can't imagine Faenil was ever religious or cared about following any gods at all, and as a skilled conjurer they know how dangerous the daedra are so they don't dabble with that sort of worship either. But since in the Elder Scrolls universe deities are very much real, they're obviously kind of unavoidable. I'm sure Faenil had their fair share of visits to the church with their father, and I'm sure he liked Auri-El a whole lot and had this facade of a good holy man that only Faenil could see through. And I'm sure Faenil must feel quite weird when they get to Skyrim almost a hundred years later to find out that all those mind-numbingly boring sermons their father forced them to go through as a kid applied to them more than they realized.

No, Faenil doesn't like the divines, not only because they're the annoying facts and logic type science person lol, but because they genuinely believe the gods are so cruel. They know that they're just a playing piece in the divine interdimensional time travel chess board, and they absolutely hate it from the bottom of their rotten heart. And why should you even waste your breath praying to something that doesn't give a single flying fuck about you? They will maybe sarcastically gasp Auri-El's name during some humorous situation, but that's as deep as it goes. No, as far as Faenil is concerned, they're a god themself, unworthy of any worship, but welcoming of it nonetheless.

I always say that Faenil was supposed to die a long time ago, but they're just really, really good at surviving. Like, they thought that they were going to die many times, and yet, they just never do, because the gods have all these mysterious plans for them. Every time they come to peace with the fact that this was it, the end is here and they had a good run but now it's time to rest - it just... never happens. They never get to rest. And Faenil has never really been actively suicidal or anything, they're stupid destructive but very good at carrying on and surviving against all the odds. Like it's gone to the point that it's almost funny even, that they always get blown and torn apart, and they just continuously pick their parts up and stitch it all back together and keep on going. But it's a pretty gruesome existence, to have it happen to you over and over again - to have someone do that to your body, and still having the strength and pure determination to pick yourself up over and over again like it's nothing and screaming fuck you at the world and saying that your body is YOURS and that you are indestructible as long as you choose to be. And at that point, you might as well be divine.

Well, it's beautiful, and it's sad, and I hope there's something for everyone to take away from that.

[dreamsy990]

just not feeling up to finishing this right now

[ratsoncats]

I'm worried

Hi, I'm Gabe, I'm 19, and I live in the U.S.

I am a trans man. This is something that has been apparent to me for years now, and something I have suspected (or, in a way, hoped for) for most of my life. I have always felt a joy in aligning myself with the masculine as opposed to the feminine. There are countless personal experiences I could point to in order to show you how I know I'm trans. If you're curious, I could do that. But, for what I aim to say here, I don't think that is necessary. What's important to know is that I like living as a man, being seen as a man, and it burdens me with a deep discomfort and practical disgust to be perceived as anything but.

I've made a sort of peace with my body. My face isn't something I'd consider to be pretty and I keep my hair short. Baggy clothes cover my chest and the rest of my body well. Most days, no one has any idea that I'm trans and simply see me as some boy picking up a gallon of milk. I'm happy that that's the case; I know many others aren't as lucky. I still have my share of reservations about my body, though. I am perfectly fine with being short (to the extent that I even celebrate it), but my chest, my hips, and my thighs bring me dysphoria. (Genitals are a different story that I'd rather not get into on the internet with strangers.) These parts of me are usually easy to ignore, but when I focus on them for too long, sadness overtakes me. I don't want to look like this. I want to be flat, boxy, small. The image of myself in my head doesn't align with what I see in the mirror, and it drags me down.

Another part of me says that cisgender men can have bodies like this, too, and that I shouldn't feel like any less of a man because of it. A third part says that curvy and top-heavy trans men are still men all the same and that stressing over it won't bring any good. As much as it feels good to listen to these voices, I still long for my ideal body. I long because it's a personal desire of mine to look that way, plain and simple. I also long, however, to make day-to-day public life to go smoother. I want people to mistake me for a girl less and call me "sir" and "young man" more; I'd prefer my body to read as a more convenient physical shorthand for manhood.

So, for the sake of my comfort and continued enjoyment of my time on this earth, I'd like to change how my body looks. One way to achieve this would be through the use of testosterone, which, on top of rearranging the stores of fat in my body, would also provide me with the welcome bonus of increased facial and body hair. I am also very interested in receiving top surgery to make my chest more masculine. It lifts my mood just to think of what my body would be like after these treatments, even moreso to know that there is a real possibility that they could be done.

The current climate around trans topics worries me. All I want is to live comfortably, but discussions about criminalizing transness have me fearing the worst. I don't want to force anything onto anyone, to limit or in any way alter anyone's speech, insert myself someplace where I'm endangering others or putting them at a disadvantage, or publicly indulge in a fetish. I'm a simple man with simple desires of a flat chest and he/him pronouns, but there's an army formed against me and people with similar stories.

I'm an American. I believe in freedom. A deep respect for the freedom of speech is something my dad has instilled in me from a young age and that freedom is something I'm thankful for. I believe that if someone wants to say something, they should be able to, and that if someone wants to do something, given that it doesn't bring harm to anyone else (or their property, etc.), they should be able to do it.

There are gray areas that come with that idea, yes, but those are outside the scope of this discussion. What I want to address here are procedures that improve a person's quality of life, procedures like gender-affirming surgery. If this so-called "mutilation" is as bad as some would say, why are so many people happier for having undergone it? Should consenting adults really be kept from personal pursuits like top or bottom surgery? Cis people get cosmetic surgeries all the time, but I don't see the public uproar about those procedures being mutilation. I would also like to ask, what does it matter to you whether someone's genitals could cause or support a pregnancy? The decision to raise a child is a very personal one, and I don't think the general public's ideas need to hold much weight in a potential-parent-to-be's decision making process. If someone is okay with the fact that their body may not work as before and will have visible scars, I think they should be completely within their right to have a surgery or take hormones.

I'd like to revisit the topic of free speech. Someone speaking about their experiences and feelings in their body and about their gender should not be considered pornographic. The average conversation about trans people in no way serves to provide sexual stimulation. Topics regarding genitals and sex should not be confused with explicit content; sex ed is taught in schools, isn't it? Education on these topics is important for many reasons and can prevent unwanted, painful, and dangerous situations. Conversations about transness are simply a dialogue about people's experiences, often with the intention of educating their audience. Given that they aren't intended to get the audience off, they are not porn. People living their lives is not porn. Transness isn't porn.

It deeply concerns me to see people misconstruing what it means to be trans and trying to limits trans healthcare and voices. I have hope for the future, but recent discourse has buried that under a layer of anxieties.

I'm just a boy, sitting at his laptop, worrying about if he's going to have to live with B-cups for the next ten years of his life. Being vocal about issues like this is important. This is how change happens.

The conditions were just so that I decided it was about time I write this. This is my first time posting something like this, but I don't think it'll be my last. Let's keep this conversation going, and let's make this country and this world a place we're happy to call home.

[cementcornfield]

https://www.tumblr.com/cementcornfield/754280825602932736

Hi new to this fandom and was told this is the Joe’marr blog . I’d love to know your favorite moment between these two and how would you describe this dynamic cause it seems like Ja’Marr don’t play

Hi anon, welcome to the fandom and to joe'marr in general! and lol yes i do definitely post about them a lot!

ja'marr does NOT play, i agree! neither of them do about each other i'd say <3. i've described my perception of their dynamic a few times in asks (and! important to remember it's just my perception because we don't actually know any of these men personally) but here goes way too many words about it below the cut 🫡

differences and similarities

to me, they're two good friends who are seemingly very different, but complement each other well, and are actually very similar on the inside! ja'marr is outwardly more extroverted, warmer and friendlier, while joe isn't cold, necessarily, but he seems to take longer to warm up to people in general; he's never friendly just to be friendly ("he'll walk right by you and not smile" per ja'marr), and, despite recent appearances lol, is more of an introvert. (although honestly, ja'marr recently has said he's starting to prefer staying in playing video games and joe has been more out and about! so it seems like they may be rubbing off on each other!) but at their core they're both stubborn, strong, brave and have an edge to them that i think they've recognized in each other since day 1 (all those fights at LSU practices! a love of taunting!)

taking care of each other

they care about each other a tremendous amount and it seems like they are always trying to take care of each other in their own ways. ja'marr with his (maybe???) buying joe clothes and taking him out and wanting him to live his life (he must be thrilled about France Joe), and always defending him in the press (and on twitter lmao). joe always getting in extra throwing sessions with ja'marr (including and most importantly ja'marr's rookie year when he was struggling and they'd stay after practice getting extra work in), always talking up ja'marr's talent and intelligence and work ethic in the press, and he basically guaranteed him a spot on the team during the 2021 draft.

mind reading - good

they've known each other for 6 (SIX!!) years now and according to both of them they "don't need words" to understand each other at this point. which is maybe my FAVORITE thing to analyze about them lmao. because that's definitely obvious on the field. i don't think i really understood how special their on-the-field connection is (despite announcers and coaches and analysts talking about it constantly!) until i finally started understanding how the game actually works (lol i didn't watch football until 2 years ago and started understanding it even later). like, ja'marr's ability to know when to break out of his route, when to improvise when joe needs him to, and joe's ability to know exactly where ja'marr's going to be??? and all of this is happening in SECONDS while people are actively trying to bring them down through any means possible?? that's such an impossible feat and it's one they pull off all the time! and this translates to off the field for them too. one of my favorite clips ever is ja'marr describing how he can tell how joe's feeling just by how he walks in the building, and that joe can do the same for him. "i know him like the back of my hand, he knows me like the back of his" like??? ok boys! that's some soulmate shit actually!

mind reading - bad

BUT on that note, i do think that, ironically, this ability to "read each others' minds" sometimes could lead to miscommunication for them! or at least it could lead to them NOT saying things that maybe they should say out loud. i don't have a lot of concrete examples here (obviously because if they're not saying things to each other they aren't saying them to the press) but there's an interview where ja'marr's talking about his hip injury. and how he "never talked to joe about it" but he "knew in his mind that he'd come back when joe needed him" which ???? what are you talking about ja'marr?? the double mind reading there of a. expecting joe to know that he'll come back when he needs him but also b. expecting himself to know when joe would need him! like! that seems really complicated, you could just, talk to each other? maybe?

ja’marr also said that joe didn’t believe him when he told him that his presence was enough at practice, that joe thought he was joking (i guess it’s not commonplace for ja’marr to come right out and say how important joe is to him and the team! so joe probably wouldn't know what to make of that rare moment of sincerity!)

and i think they aren't talking to each other about contracts (which, fair enough, that's business), but people sure were asking ja'marr about joe's contract anyway (and they're starting to do the same for joe about ja'marr!) and we all remember a lot of ja'marr's comments that came around to bite him lol. and, i have NO proof for this one besides my projections/feelings, but i wonder if joe's worried at all about ja'marr's contract this year. if he's worried that if he doesn't perform, ja'marr won't want to stay. now, ja'marr tells the press (and twitter. and his twitch chat. and his dad.) that he wants to stay with joe, but does joe believe that? has ja'marr ever come out and actually said that to him? or is he expecting joe to just know that?

(oh man i wrote a lot in that section, and i have so little actual evidence, but it's something i love thinking about! i don't want them being too cutesy or perfect tbh. they're flawed! they're men raised in stoic sports culture and honestly i am so sure they suck at communicating. i'm sure they've had misunderstandings. i'm sure they've argued. and that's so important!)

balance

i think another thing i love about their dynamic is that ja'marr is such a good check for joe. if you haven't noticed, joe kind of runs the organization lmao. from day 1 he's been involved in the play calling, drafting, overall culture and philosophy. and that's his right! he is good at all of that! he's The Franchise (worshipped throughout the team, the city, half of the state!) and, in the beginning, i think ja'marr felt that way about joe too. joe led him to a perfect season and a national championship in college and then a super bowl his first year in the league! he himself said, right before the super bowl in 21, "he's like a god to me" which is...just a WILD thing to say about your friend :') like??? the devotion? the loyalty?? okay ja'marr!!

but, then they lose, and ja'marr "coaxes joe out of bed" to go celebrate anyway. he gets to be the one to see joe at his absolute lowest and he's the one to build him back up. and i think that really affected their dynamic from then on, to the point that ja'marr became the only guy to think of joe as an actual human being in the organization. i don't think (until very very recently with zac) that a single person other than ja'marr ever said no to joe (the way joe stayed in that titans game last year despite being hurt, at risk, and losing by so much cemented that for me!) ja'marr was the ONLY ONE to say that joe should sit out as long as he needed to for the calf. the only one not celebrating (in fact, he seemed PISSED) when joe was running around during preseason games despite not being fully healed 😭 the only one saying "come on joe let's go out" instead of just coming to him (and it seems that's finally worked lol) and joe NEEDS that. he needs that desperately! someone who will support him but call him on his shit, someone who sees him as more than just his abilities and wants what's actually best for him!

teasing <3

finally (oh my god this is SO LONG) i really enjoy how playful they are with each other. joe tends to be very Stoic and Serious (not all the time, but it's a tendency) and i think ja'marr is good at bringing him out of that. he's talked about how back at LSU he would joke around with joe and it took him a long time to finally figure out how to make him smile and laugh. and i think that's a skill he's perfected over the years! every mic'ed up between the two of them, we get to hear them tease and mess with each other. "you see that big blue thing over there??" "you couldn't overthrow me and get me in stride?" "my guy you were wide open!" (ja'marr's hands on joe's hips the entire time) "you're looking pretty slow" "be serious" and "he said you underthrew him" "yeah right" and "i ain't gonna lie, you look slow as hell" and "i'll start taking it off for you ja'marr" and "joe swears he's sneaky fast" and "hey man you're so cool!" and on and on and on! i HATE that we've never had a long form interview/podcast with BOTH of them on it because my god i want to know what an actual conversation is like between them. but i think it must be a lot of that. a lot of fond jokes, compliments hidden in teasing; we see them laughing together so often <3 and of course we CAN'T forget the UFC moves they practice on each other :) "we mess around every now and then".

the end

okay i'm stopping myself because oh my god this is so much. anon i'm sorry, you absolutely aren't going to read all of this. but it's been two years and i STILL apparently have so much to say about these two. it's ridiculous. i'm ridiculous. (but so are they!!)

[72graves]

I've been wracking my brain trying to find out who exactly Detective Noel might be and I think I have a vague hand wavy idea.

I know people want it to be Parker, Kayne, or even the KIY but I think Arthur would have recognized Parker's voice even if John struggled to recognize him, Kayne was pointed out to have never known about the lighter, and the King seems like a long shot, but not altogether impossible. However!

Way back in season 1 we learned that the book that had once held John was actually addressed to Roland Cummings, a retired private investigator who owned 13 Mosby Avenue (Arthur and Parker's office) and as of now is MIA after the police found the body of his wife in the freezer and the neighbors suspected he fled to Canada (Part Two: The Missing Girl). He's also the father of Amanda Cummings, one of the missing girls who was later killed by the King (because of Arthur, whoops). Now, his office was leased out to Elijah Strong and his partner, Teddy Caine before being taken over by Arthur and Parker. Elijah had committed suicide in prison and we later find out that the Butcher was the one who actually killed him. As of right now we have no definitive answer as to what became of Teddy Caine.

Arthur's engraved lighter came from the desk of their office.

My reach is that Detective Noel is either Roland Cummings or (less so) Teddy Cain. I'm leaning more towards Cummings simply because he had seemed the most knowledgeable about The Horrors™️ and was in fact sort of the catalyst to the entire series being the original receiver for John's book. And it's also possible he and Arthur never really met. It would also make sense as to why he's working under a different name because he would still be under suspicion after what happened with his family near Arkham. Teddy Caine I'm less sure about because all we know is that he worked at the office for a time and had a run-in with the Butcher.

Detective Noel could also literally be none of these people or someone else entirely and I'm just thinking too hard. But ooh the possibilities! They make me [stick figure gore]

[danizmomota]

GUH sorry ive been inactive gang!!!

Thought I'd drop some of my Object Show, 'Battle of Sweet Variety' lore since it's been forever... (and oomf keeps nagging me about it lol)

"BOSV is an object show that takes place within the "Milky Way," a galaxy with many "sweet" unique planets and moons to accompany it. And the shows main host, "Strawberry Shortcake," decides to create a "game-show" with 20 unsuspecting contestants on a nearby planet called Donet. To see, who is the best treat on planet Donet!! Who will come out as number one? Well we'll just have to wait and see~!"

The rest is a LARGE chunk of text based off of the host, a Strawberry Shortcake! Just some snippets of WHY the show exists in the first place! Plus just some extra info!

Strawberry Shortcake, are two beings in one, being a two layered cake. The bottom half female, who is positive and loves to interact with her new found contestants! Meanwhile, the top half is a male, who has a more negative spin on any given situation. He prefers to say quiet then talk with anyone, mainly only talking to his female counterpart. They are a demigod, they have been alive for years and decades. Albeit, despite being very old, they are still very awkward.

SS has special powers that was given to them because of two Moon-shards, they have the ability to teleport anyone they wish, anywhere! either it be themselves or any other contestant! (However if a contestant is not in their FOV, they cannot be teleported, they need to be in front of them, however when teleporting themselves, it has no limits. So it goes hand in hand.) However, because they were given TWO moon-shards (hence, why there are two layers instead of one) they have a special power to soar the galaxy without harm, though they can still get hurt. Basically like immortality.

(Why did SS do the show in the first place?) Strawberry Shortcake was created by a collection of different ingredients along with Mooncake shards, technically making them a demigod. SS was born, however, was forced to float among the stars looking across the sugary galaxy to find a place to rest and call home, but never found a place they found fit. But then, they found a purple-blueish Mooncake, and immediately felt attached to it. (which they later found out, was the moon that created them, as all moon-shards are different but in this case, SS felt a strong connection to their own moon.) SS found comfort in this home, their first ever place to call home. SS used their resources around them, along with any "ingredient" debris that happened to land onto it. SS later built themselves a makeshift home, proud and comfortable. Although SS finally found a home, it was missing something, new people. Sure, they had each other, but it felt lonely with just the same thing everyday. SS tried to use the "ingredients" fragments to mimic other people, like pretend friends, she played with them, acting like they were participating in her own games, which lasted a little, but they both were still grounded, and knew they weren't REAL objects, just ones created all in her head. but then, their moon suddenly started to become pulled to a planet, planet Jelly-Filled Donut. ((or Donet, (dough-net)) There, SS finally found new people. Finally, a place to make her game dreams, a reality!

"For many, many years. I soared the sugary galaxy. Searching for new found life in hopes of finding something, something sweet! something bitter, something… new. And then. I finally found it… the perfect place for all of my ideas to become, reality. Planet Donet."

...In the perspective of Donet, its inhibitors noticed something coming closer to the planet, a new moon? Everyone was suspicious at first of the new presence, but curious on what the moon had to offer. Later, SS would be sent down to greet her new friends. Going forward, BOSV began.

Also here's some GIANT lore drop on the planets n stuff!

(How are stuff usually made?/extra info)

Planets: Planets are made with ingredients, which clump together to create planets! Without Moonshards, they are usually just places of unique "resources" and no object life can usually be found.

Special Planets: SP's are basically regular planets, but with Moonshards imbedded into them. usually by natural causes of a moon eroding and the moons shards falling into nearby planets. Which these moons have special enhancements, like a unique healing water supply, or the power to host object-life.

MoonCakes: MoonCakes/Moons are created by only the richest ingredients of the galaxy, when regular ingredients come in contact with the stars the stars have rich properties that can enhance whatever touches it, then, when the rich ingredients compact together, they make a moon, and then later in time with pressure, creates a powerful core, which then consists of the moonshards.

Ingredients: basically either large chunks or small sediment pieces floating among the stars, either by itself or broken off by eroded planets. (ex. Sugar, Flour, Salt, etc)

Rich ingredients: when regular ingredients come in contact with the stars. ((or in this case, Konpeito (Japanese Star Candy), aka in this world, they're called Kostars. (CO-STARS))

MoonShards: broken off or eroded pieces of the core within Moon/Mooncakes, they possess special properties that can enhance whatever it's given to.

It's a cycle of, "Ingredients make a planet, and once that planet erodes, it's sediment/left over chunks can be reused again for newer ones."

"Are the contestants also technically made with ingredients too?" The "ingredients" within the sugary galaxy, are different from the ones on the planets, other resources can be found on REGULAR planets. Only special planets can inhabit object life, so those "smaller sediments" on the special planets gained life. They went through evolution and all of that.

THATS ALL OF IT... THAT I HAVE SO FAR!!! Dw Kebz I haven't forgotten it, just... temporarily forgot it lol