#math? history of math. and then you explain the actual math pleade

[histrynerdss]

(topic) nerd x (different topic) nerd gives me life

[scarlet-fantasies]

"Studying" w BF Eren Hcs

::Description::

Eren helping you study but also not. And just what studying with him is like.

::𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬:: sfw & slight nsfw

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𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑡

𝐼𝑛𝑏𝑜𝑥 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑛

𝐶𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑗𝑜𝑖𝑛 --> 𝑇���𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

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© 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑒𝑡-𝑓𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑒𝑠 // 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑙, 𝑟𝑒𝑢𝑠𝑒, 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑠. 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑢𝑛𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑤𝑖𝑠𝑒. // 2021-𝑃𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡.

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📚Eren isn’t the type to study a lot and maybe not at all. I mean he probably doesn’t turn in all of his assignments, he does some but not a lot. 

📚And he may try to get you to not study either. Its mostly because he cannot concentrate for a long time and because he doesn’t care that much about his grades.

📚Like don't get me wrong he’s smart (but can’t do math) but he just isn’t someone that cares a lot about his grades.

📚That’s why he doesn’t study with you very often, most times he will not join you.

📚He only studies if his grades are at stake, feels like doing it, if you two are in the same class, or for morale support on your end to test you.

📚Sometimes you have to beg him to study just to have someone help you prep. I picture that he might be good at subjects like English, Political Science, History, and Communications so if you need help in those you’re going to have ask possibly more than once to get him to help you.

📚You’d try to coax him into saying yes by kissing his cheek before asking for a favor. “Eren, can you help me with something?” You’d sweet talk.

📚“Hmm, like what?”

📚“Could you help me study?”

📚 “No.” He’d tease, acting like he meant it to see your reaction.

📚“Pleeeease?” You’d ask, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

📚He’d sigh before looking down at you “Alright fine,” and would cup your face with his hands, “but only because you’re cute.” He’d smile, before kissing you.

📚Another thing you have to note is sometimes he thinks that when you ask to study that you’re not serious. He thinks you mean that you’ll “study”.

📚One time he thought you two were going “study” and not actually study but he was wrong.

📚“So what should we do first?” You’d ask looking at him as he hugged you from behind putting his hands around your waist.

📚“Hmm, don't know.” He’d murmur whilst kissing your neck.

📚“We have to study something, Eren.” You’d giggle somewhat at the tickle you felt on your neck by his kisses..

📚“Nah.” He smirked, turning you to face him as he kissed you, his hands roaming around your body in very suggestive areas leading you to pull away. You looked at him before saying “Eren, I mean actually study.”

📚“Babe, you can’t actually be serious about wanting to study.” He’d give you a look of “really”.

📚“But I am serious.” You’d say, looking at him being truthful.

📚“Right.” He’d say looking at you not fully convinced.

📚“Eren.” You’d frown seeing he was really thinking of this differently.

📚“Gosh you can be such a buzkill.” He’d tease while getting you to be offended. 

📚“Hey!” You’d frown.

📚 He’d smile before chuckling, “A cute buzkill–you didn’t let me finish.” He’d laugh pinching your cheek.

📚When you ask for help he’ll tease you and say you have to give kisses/a hug first.

📚“Say that you need me?” He’d tease, causing you to blush.

📚“That’s not fair.” You’d justify, trying to ignore the embarrassing situation.

📚Gives neck kisses and hickeys while you are reading out of the textbook trying to explain something. “And so then you—hey! Stop it tickles!” You’d shriek and jerk away from him.

📚Pulls you in his lap while correcting papers with you. He likes to give kisses here too. Along with putting arms around you and just keeping you there from leaving.

📚When you make an error he tells you that you have to kiss him.

📚“Wrong answer~” he’d smile leaning in teasingly to have you blush before leaning in to kiss him.

📚Other times when you’re reluctant because he’s embarrassing you and you two are at school he just makes you even more embarrassed.

📚“Give me a kiss,. . . Y/n~” he’d tease, putting his lips near yours as you kept changing direction to move away from him because others were watching.

📚If you got him turned on or he just wants attention he takes your textbook away or closes it in front of you on purpose.

📚You have to chase him for it and I swear you can never get your book bc he just has the upper hand since he’s taller, and stronger and he knows your reflex’s, so he’s quick to block you.

📚He even lowers the book lower to your level and then brings it back up. Sometimes he tosses it elsewhere or puts it on a high shelf so you can’t reach and then he tackles you for being a “bad” girlfriend. 

📚He’ll laugh if you pout at him and try to move past him he just grabs you by your waist and carries you to the couch. 

📚Even if you fight him he doesn’t care and especially if you’re upset he wants to just squish your face.

📚“You know you’re the cutest little thing ever?” He’d grin, squishing your face with his large hands.

📚"Stop squishing me!”

📚“Never!”

📚If you really want your book back he’ll make you pay dearly for it. 

📚“If you want your book then give me the key to your underwear drawer.”

📚“That’s not fair. My underwear is private.”

📚Speaking of which, while you are studying he does bother you quite a bit. Like if you’re wearing pants he sometimes pulls back the waistband to see your undergarments, “Aww those are cute, Y/n.” (This is when you’ve been together with him for too long)

📚“What are you doing?!”

📚“Just checking if you’re wearing the ones I bought you.” He’d smirk before you push his hand off.

📚“Eren what the—“

📚“What? I just wanted to see if you’re wearing the butterfly one or not.”

📚He buys you underwear sometimes that have pretty designs on the back, but it’s always something a little cheeky.

📚“Still you can’t just check!” You’d complain, keeping a close eye on him now.

📚If you’re wearing a skirt he will purposely drop his pencil so you can bend down and he can lift the hem of your skirt.

📚“Ohh those are cute.” He’d grin

📚“Don’t look!” You’d yell at him.

📚Even if your wearing pants he’d stare at your ass when you bend down and gave you rub or pat on it. 

📚He likes to pinch your sides when your trying to read.

📚He thinks you’re adorable if you can’t keep eye contact with him when he’s explaining. Like you’ll look at him for a second only to look down because his green eyes are focusing on you and you feel small.

📚He f*cking lives for that.

📚Traces circles in your thigh if you two are sitting at the table and you're explaining something to him.

📚All to make you scoot away bc you wanna stay focused.

📚He likes to hear you explain things and just have you go on and on, all cuz he likes your voice too much.

📚Out of nowhere, he’ll just k!ss you which makes you shut up entirely.

📚Makes bets with you about getting the answer right and if you lose he gets to have that a$$ all to himself. 

📚He’d literally pinch your @ss cheek every time you get an answer wrong or even squeeze it, leaving you bruises and you’d swat his hand away. And if he’s not doing that he’s just clutching it.

📚He sometimes doodles on your paper to get your attention. If he sees you have doodled on your paper and if you wrote his name or something he’ll be annoying.

📚“Awww, E + (first initial) you have a crush on me. You’re such a baby, Y/n.”

📚You two have been kicked out of the school library for making out thanks to Eren. You got called out by a librarian when you kissed his jawline even though he started it. He couldn’t stop himself from laughing seeing you got caught instead of him, “Look at that she knows you’re a naughty girl.”

📚“Shut up!”

📚You study in your room a lot, sometimes his, but sometimes he wants to study outside or use the library.

📚One time you two were in the library he was bothering you since he was needy and in the mood. “No, we can’t just do that here.”

📚“C’mon, don’t tell me you’re going to wait till we’re home?”

📚“Eren . . .” You’d sigh, wanting to focus on your math.

📚“Or maybe at least in the car~”

📚“Stop! I can’t concentrate when you talk about s*x!” You put your hands on your ears feeling uneasy by his words as you shouted getting a lot of people’s attention.

📚He grinned at this and watched you get up to collect your things and leave but he followed right after you.

📚You walked fast bc you wanted to avoid him. As much as you loved Eren it was times like this where you just didn’t. 

📚“Babe, c’mon I'm sorry. I was joking with you. I didn’t think you’d say that.” 

📚“You’re embarrassing me and I don’t want to talk about this.”

📚But he got you to be over it quickly with all his endless apologizing and nuzzling his face in your neck with his facial hair tickling your skin, you couldn’t say no.

📚Oh gosh if he’s tutoring you for German (if you don’t know it) he’s going to be fixing every little thing as he guides you with the pencil on how to write/spell things.

📚He kisses your cheek every time you get it right and I swear if you’re studying at his place and his mom sees this she thinks you two are adorable.

📚Sometimes he’ll joke with you though. If it’s something naughty though and his brother catches it he teases you both, “Eren don’t teach Y/n those things, she’s just a kid!”

📚Of course, he’d be upset if his brother taught you something especially if it was something about Eren like his middle name. “Babe, who taught you that?”

📚“Oh, your brother did when you were gone.” Hearing this he’d tell you to wait so he could get mad at Zeke.

📚Since Eren probably hates his middle name.

📚And when they argue you don’t know what’s being said but Eren tells you not to worry.

📚He tells you to take breaks since you don’t always do that. And he of course has snacks during this time and did I ever mention that Eren eats a lot. Like he even steals your food if you don’t finish.

📚Will tell you to choose which snack you want by choosing one of his fists while doing so he’d lean in to kiss you instead of giving you the snack.

📚Sometimes he tries to aim the snack (if it’s small) in between your chest so it falls in.

📚Succeeds if you wear a loose shirt.

📚Ruffles your hair when he’s wishing you luck at school.

📚pulls you away from work if you overwork yourself. He’ll literally pick you off of the chair and just carry you to another room to have you take a break.

📚“But Eren Im so close.”

📚“You said that 30 minutes ago, just take a break babe.”

📚“But Eren.”

📚“No buts, you need to take your break, babe.”

📚“Fine.”

📚“Good, now let me hold my hardworking girl.” He’d smile, hugging you closer.

@bi-effing-simp @lucifugovs @xxghoulishspritexx @sp00ksic0la @keithandlevi-ontheroof @songbirdgardensworld

@bubs-world

::Previous Post::

1

[minimarvelh]

At the breakfast Tony will give him a huge portion of pancakes with colourful cereals, which Stark calls "as if the elfs puked a rainbow at them", to which he will receive a light slap on the arm from Pepper and her famous disapproving look. „Don’t swear near the kid”

After the breakfast, Peter will probably ask Tony to watch SpongeBob with him, because it’s Saturday and he doesn’t have any school.

At first, Tony will saying in disgustingly exaggerated way that he has a lot of work to do and that actually it’s a kids show, but Peter, knowing better, will eventually drag him into the couch area, tug him in an octopus hug, glueing them together so that the Stark would have no chance to escape. Tony will have no choice but to defeatedly exhale, relaxing in the arms of his child and bury his arm into Peter’s curls.

The it will be already afternoon and pepper will probably cook miso soup, so Peter need as fast as possible try to make his homework.

So he’ll probably ask Tony to help him with physics, math, Spanish, English, literature..and, well, with everything.

Tony will probably complain about lazy teenagers in these days and how back then it was better. but he still will help.

Once they will end, Pepper will call them to eat.

Still quizzing a tired Peter on some probably history topics, will they sit down to lunch.

During lunch Pepper will tell hilarious stories from Tony's past while he will try to deny everything listening to the amusing Peter’s giggling.

After they will finish eating, Pepper would remind Tony about the papers he needed to look over and then she would go to take a bath.

Meanwhile, Peter will go to his room, impatiently calling the Ned and for about an hour losing connect with the reality, rambling about Star Wars fics.

After that, hanging up and entering the living room, Peter will find Tony lying on the sofa, glasses on his nose and a Satrkpad in his hands, who, most likely, will methodically going through some documents sent by Pepper.

Not wasting any seconds looking at his domestic mentor, Peter will take the remote and lie down next to Tony, one leg draped over him, the other rummaging around the floor scrolling Netflix.

Chances are, if Peter will hug him, watching Horseman Bojack, Tony will lose all of his concentration hugging his kid next to him and eventually to Pepper’s future dissatisfaction, will become invested in series and will forget about said documents.

After their snuggling Tony will go and make them hoc chocolate, while Peter will explain to him everything about fan fiction.

Tony probably wants to know about it more.

Then Pepper will come and talk about their plans on Sunday which will end Peter pleading Pepper to watch new “Star Wars: the Clone wars” and how can Pepper say now to these big brown puppy eyes?

It’s impossible.

So the rest of the day they will eat popcorn and watch Stat wars, until pepper would remind them that they will still need to eat dinner. Time will complain that he is adult and if he doesn’t want you to eat dinner he will not. But at the end they will order some Thai food.

While waiting for the order to arrive Tony and Peter will likely go to the workshop where Tony will look at the diagrams, making some corrections while Peter will talk and pet dum-e, calling him good boy.

30 minutes later Pepper will call them to eat and they will go and eat together, talking about their plans for the week.

After that they will return to their laying activity and will end up watching the whole season of that show.

Tony will argue about the illogicality and the holes of the plot, while Peter will vehemently refute his comments.

Will 99,9% chances Pepper will stroke Peter’s hair whispering him that he did today a good job.

Most likely, Peter will fall asleep next to Pepper with his legs at Tony lulled by the warmth of two adults, with whom he feel the safest he’s ever felt.

Most likely, Tony will not want to wake the kid and will slid his hands under Peter’s body and carry him across the couch into his chest right to the kid’s bedroom, tucking his blanket and kissing forehead.

Which will make Peter whine at the loss of contact and he will probably slip “dad”, which lately has been slipping into his speech more and more often, especially when he is sleepy.

But each time it sounded like the first time for Tony as he will held his breath and his heart will race and race.

"I'm here bambino," will Tony whisper, kissing Peter again and stroking his hand, staying in the room until the kid finally falls asleep.

Then Tony will go into the living room, where a little bit drowsy Pepper will smile tiredly at him and the two of them will go into the bedroom.

In the morning, Peter will wake up and first thing will head into the kitchen area, where Tony will greet him, kissing his forehead while the kid wraps his arms around him like a koala. Then he will do exactly the same with Pepper, getting at least a million kisses from her giggling as the woman playfully kisses his cheeks, forehead, curls smiling at the kid.

At the breakfast Tony will give him a huge portion of pancakes with colourful cereals, which Stark calls "as if the elfs puked a rainbow at them", to which he will receive a light slap on the arm from Pepper and her famous disapproving look.

I really don’t know what is it hahah

[i-like-sparkly-things]

Right in front of you

A Halstead!sister

Jay held a strong grip on your upper arm as he led you out to the school hall. "What the hell was that Y/N? Are you happy now? God.... I can't believe you cheated!" he sneered, "EYES UP HERE Y/N!! "

"I'm sorry" you sighed, locking eyes with Jay, silently praying that he would let this go. It was only one time anyway. It wasn't a big deal.

But he let out a hollow laugh, "Thirty percent, Y/N, THIRTY PERCENT. You're going to have to do better than a half-ass apology. What exactly are you sorry for? Huh? For cheating? Or being caught?"

Requested : Yes by @study-coffee-chicago : They found out she cheated on a test in high school...and Jay's the one who has to pick her up.

Warnings : angry!Jay (lots of it), alcohol, swearing, anxiety attacks

Note : I am so so so sorry this so longg 😭 I ended up so far away from the actual request kayela please don't block mee 😭 butt I've learned alot in writing abt active and passive voices and using more imagery Yayy!! I'm so glad that yall are ok with my grammar thank uu🥺

MASTERLIST HERE

The piles of homework and flashcards you needed to memorize had no end in sight, and now that Will was taking nightshifts along with his usual double shifts, and intelligence was tracking down an underground drug cartel, you spent most days alone, allowing your mind to engulf you.

Every time you sat down to study, you felt a striking pain in your chest. In mere seconds the air was sucked out of your lungs and you found yourself panting, desperate to get oxygen back into your body.

You would be surrounded by books and worksheets and you could swear the walls of your room were closing in towards you, trapping you in a sea of incomplete work.

You failed to follow the schedules and to do lists you had made for yourself. Staring at them, hoping the essays would write themselves.

All you needed, was a break. A moment to relax from anything and everything.

So when your best friend mentioned that her brother used to drink a little before he appeared for an exam, your mind was quick to catch on.

Last night you had borrowed a little bit of beer from Jay's stash of alcohol and took a few sips of it as you studied.

The more you drank, the less bitter it became. It was a weird, new sensation, but it worked nonetheless.

Except now, you were sitting in the girls bathroom at school, ramaging through your notes, trying to recollect what you had learned yesterday.

You saw what you had underlined and highlighted— names in pink and important dates in yellow—but your mind came up blank.

Flipping the pages you saw people in wigs, and castles burning to the ground —None of which you recognized.

A wave of anxiety rippled through you unable to comprehend your next thought —you were going to fail.

Your head was throbbing as you ran a hand down face, massaging your temples trying to calm yourself down.

You took out your water bottle that you had filled with beer and swallowed a few gulps, hoping that it would help you think straight.

You groaned, feeling the sting of alcohol at the back of your throat, popping some mints into your mouth, you ran towards the exam hall.

***

Your foot bounced on the polished wood floors as sweat pooled on your forehead.

You thought you were careful —only taking a peek from your friends answer sheet when Mrs.Ling's back was facing you.

Everything would have worked out if it wasn't for that kid sitting behind you. In a split second your teacher turned around, when he dropped his pen, to see you peering over your partner's desk.

Now you were sitting in the principles office praying that Jay wouldn't be the one picking you up.

You could already imagine his anger at you for pulling him away from his case, only to find you cheated.

Unfortunately luck was not on your side today.

You dare not look at Jay as he entered the office, letting out a huff as he sat down. You could feel the rage emitting him, tension filling the room, as he burned holes looking at you.

"I'll get straight to the point" Your principal started.

"Please" Jay growled, struggling to contain himself. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, when he got the call saying that you had cheated on your midterms.

You and Will were alike,at least he thought so, both good at science and math but weak at geography and history. Nonetheless you continued to secure good grades for the most part.

"Y/n here, was caught cheating from a classmates answer sheet. Our teacher caught her red handed. I truly did not expect this from you. These midterms cost thirty percent of your grade..... "

Pretty soon his voice was muffled like he was getting farther and farther away from you. His figure swayed in front of you as you squinted your eyes to keep him in the center of your vision.

" You are suspended, Mrs halstead"

Your eyes widened , your body choosing the perfect time to bring out what little beer you had taken when you heard those words, letting the alcohol mix with the adrenaline.

"WHAT??!! " Damn, alcohol really bought out your courage as Jay stared at you in shock at your audacity.

"Y/n, your lucky I'm letting you retake the exam. That's only because you've had a clean record so far. I strongly suggest you start preparing early Ms. halstead" your principal said in a firm but monotone voice that left you speechless.

Jay held a strong grip on your upper arm as he led you out to the school hall. "What the hell was that Y/N? Are you happy now? God.... I can't believe you cheated!" he sneered, "EYES UP HERE Y/N!! "

Oh god. Every now and then, the ground would sway beneath you, tiles shifting in your vision. But you counted your steps, carefully putting one foot in front of the other, not wanting Jay to find out what else you had done........ until now.

You tilted your head, only to be met with your brother's piercing stare but little did he know, now it made it infinitely harder to concentrate on your walking.

"I'm sorry" you sighed, locking eyes with Jay, silently praying that he would let this go. It was only one time anyway. It wasn't a big deal.

But he let out a hollow laugh, "Thirty percent, Y/N, THIRTY PERCENT. You're going to have to do better than a half-ass apology. What exactly are you sorry for? Huh? For cheating? *Or being caught?*"

***

You rested your head on the seat as Jay entered the truck, flinching, when he slammed the door shut. Your pounding headache was getting worse by the minute, as your ears started to ring.

You blinked a few times squinting to focus on the road ahead of you but the fast-moving cars and the loud horns made you feel like your head was going to explode.

"Y/n," he addressed you, much calmer now.

You forced yourself to turn to your brother, who wore a confused expression.

But the moment he saw your deshelfed hair and your cracked lips, a wave of worry crashed over him. What the hell?

The truck came to a stop at a red light and Jay immediately scanned you over "Y/n?" he grabbed your chin, his jaw dropping, as he came face to face with reality.

"Are you drunk!!?" he barked , steam basically pouring out of his ears.

But your pleading eyes and empty silence gave him the answer he needed. "Are you kidding me??" he snarled as he slammed the steering wheel.

Oh God no. A blinding pain ripped through your head when Jay's palms made contact with the hard plastic. You winched turning your head away from your furious brother, letting out a whimper.

Jay's eyes widened at the sound, his heart breaking, realizing the pain you were in.

If he was going to be mad at you or at least punish you, you needed to be sober.

He stepped on the pedal as the light turned green taking a few breaths, trying to calm himself down.

With the vice lords reclaiming their territory and selling uncut fentanyl, bodies were dropping all over the city most of them being kids.

Kids..... your age.

Every kid at the morgue, just reminded him of you. He saw parents sobbing, begging for their kids to come back but Jay new better. They were never going to come home. Ever.

So he made it a priority to catch these ruthless creatures. He made it a priority over his sleep, over nine hours shifts and unknown to him, over spending time with you.

"Hey , hey" he whispered, not wanting to hurt you again, "We'll talk about this later ok? for now...... just..... it's ok..... I've got you" here reached out his hand, the other still on the steering wheel, to slowly rub your back as you tried to breath through the pain.

" I got you"

***

Jay wrapped a hand around you allowing you to hold onto him for support.

Silently, he deposited you on the couch, laying you down. He knew that he wasn't in any state to talk to you. He needed to clear his mind from his racing thoughts and rueful images of dying teenagers.

His phone rang, indicating that the district was awaiting him. "Here" he reluctantly shook your shoulders "Y/n, I need to go ok? Will will be here soon"

***

Almost half an hour had passed and you were waiting for Will to get out of the shower. You'd heard Jay explain everything to him over the phone.

You thought about how disappointed he would be.

Will —being the nerd he was— always helped you with your projects and gave you pop quizzes during breakfast, before your exams. He taught you how to organize flashcards just like he did in med school.

Even through your blurry thoughts, the image of Will's betrayed face and embarrassed eyes, knowing you cheated, lingered on your mind.

Your body was all over the place. Tiny noises echoing through your ear. Your muscles simultaneously aching and loose.

You were shivering as you tried to curl up into a ball. Your body trying to hold what little heat it had within itself.

But nothing stopped your tears.

You felt water drops make their way down your cheeks forming small splotches of water on the cushion you laid your head on.

And you didn't bother to wipe them away.

Will more or less was in the same state you were in. There was a multi-vehicle accident on the highway and victims were piling in the ED. He was running from one treatment room to the other, waiting to get back home and crash.

Will walked over to you with a huge glass of water and an advil, gently  nudging you to sit up.

Your head still pounded, your eyes zoning in and out of the figure in front of you "Y/n, here drink the whole glass and take this" Will soothed, placing the glass and the pill in your hand "I—I'm sorry" You whispered, distracting yourself from Will's eyes.

Will knew he should be angry. Just like Jay was but he couldn't bring himself to blaming you, not until he had the full story anyway.

You looked so petite on the enormous couch, your legs folded on top of each other, arms shaking as you drowned the glass of water along with the Advil.

Your red puffy eyes and tear strained cheeks,were a contrast from your usual self. or he thinks. He's been pretty busy lately, so he's not too sure. " We'll talk about it later. I'm not angry. I promise"

He assured and was about to head to bed himself when you grabbed his wrist.

If he wasn't angry at you then maybe— just maybe—he would help you.

"Stay" You pleaded , the word falling from your lips just as easily as it had, many, many times before.

And just like before, you were met with Will's soft brown eyes filled with sympathy, ready to help. Ready—to be by your side.

He's slowly nodded climbing onto the couch, next to you. He wrapped an arm around you and you nestled into him, laying your head on his chest.

You found some comfort as he embraced you, talking you under his arm and encompassing you in his warmth.

Holding on to him, you hoped that he would take your pain away, just like he did when you were little.

***

Will woke up to an uncomfortable feeling of something —or someone—   tugging at his shirt.

He slowly opened his eyes allowing them to adjust to the light as he felt another a tug at his side. He looked over to you, but your eyes were shut, brimming with tears, your arm laid across his chest.

You were holding on to Will , using him as a lifeline, grounding you from the pain.

You felt a hand squeezing your own, stopping you from gripping the fabric "Y/n?" You opened your eyes to look up at will who had tears of his own, staring at the state you were in "it's okay, I'm here, I'm right here"

He encircles you, tighter than before, whispering soothing assurances into your hair.

***

With Will's help, the pain slowly subsides, allowing you access to your thoughts again.

You step out of the shower, into the living room and your eyes widen seeing Jay and Will sitting at the kitchen counter.

You didn't even hear Jay come in, but right now taking in his hardened glare, you didn't dare ask.

You knew what was coming and you didn't fight. You couldn't.

"So apparently we're cheating on our midterms now, huh?" Jay's calm voice made shivers run down your spine, starting to take rapid breaths.

"And apparently, someone thinks it's ok to steal alcohol from my stash" He gritted, never breaking I contact with you. "Do you think that's how the world works Y/n? DO YOU? BECAUSE LAST TIME I CHECKED YOU'RE STILL A FUCKING TEENAGER!!" He spat, his thoughts fuming towards your trembling body.

It was every dieing body flashing before his eyes, as the past months' agony slipped off his tongue.

"Jay" Will's voice was stern, giving a knowing look towards his younger brother and didn't bother to give Jay time to argue with him.

"Y/n, we need to know what's going on"

"With school, with tests with....... everything" he stated giving you a solemn look meaning every word he said, promising himself that he would do whatever it takes to figure out what had been going on.

You sucked in a breath weighing all your options. You didn't want them to think that you needed a babysitter or  that you couldn't take care of yourself.

You knew that they had their own problems to worry about but you couldn't take it anymore.

You hated it.

The feeling of your lungs collapsing, struggling to find air for your body, your stress skyrocketing anytime you sat down to study, never getting any thing done.

All day long you would constantly tell yourself to do your work. Every spare second is spent in making a list of things you want to do but when it was time to actually do those things, your mind wandered and emptied.

You took another deep breath, looking up from your feet, your eyes meeting your brothers.

You spilled the past months events from how alone you were all the time and not being able to concentrate to how you ended up drunk at school and cheating on your midterms.

Tears rolled down your cheeks as you your hands trembled. You stood crying in the middle of the room until you felt a pair of arms around you.

Will placed his hand at the nape of your neck as he stroked your back with the other "Breathe Y/n, just Breathe" He slowly pulled away leading you to the couch.

God, how he wished he could turn back time. Then he'd been more vigilant to notice the changes that had come over you.

You felt the couch dip on both sides but you intently studied your fingers, fumbling with the hem of your shirt and wiped the tears off your face. They were mad. No, they were furious. You knew it.

But for some reason, they weren't showing it. Maybe they were waiting-

"We're not mad"

You without your head around to look at Jay, furrowing your eyebrows in disbelief. Jay? Not mad? HA.

"but I am disappointed though, but that's only because you didn't tell us......

but stealing alcohol was bad too" he added, earning him a glare from Will.

"Y/n, what Jay means is— we could've helped with school . Homework . Tests . Anything, you name it. We will help" he assured, "But how do we know you need help, if you don't tell us?"

You sighed, taking in the weird turn of events that had happened before you. You had wasted all this time, trying to figure out all your problems out, when the answer was right in front of you.

A mountain of guilt now sat on Jay's shoulders, weighing down on him, pushing him deeper into a wormhole of 'if's'.

Maybe if he'd just been a little more careful, this wouldn't have happened.

Maybe if he'd stop and listen to you once in a while, this wouldn't have happened.

While trying to save kids out on the street, he forgot to care for the kid at home. You were his sister, and yet, here you are in front of him, barely keeping yourself together.

But that would change. Right here. *Right now.*

"Y/n," Jay started "If you would have told us how alone and stressed you were feeling.....I would've taken some time off... Maybe we'd watch a movie or something. All you had to do was ask...... And we'll get you the help you need, y/n. You good with that?" he questioned, his anger and frustration dissipating.

You saw your brother, the workaholic detective, wanting to put his job aside, for you .

You were more important to him, than his job—You realized.

" Yea... Yeah, I am"

Will stood up and got another advil with another glass of water. "and maybe you wouldn't end up drunk and cheating on your test" he smirked, crouching in front of you.

"God, I didn't think it would hurt this bad. I am never drinking again!" you smiled , as you drowned the pill.

"See now that's what I like to hear!!" Jay exclaimed, wrapping his arms around you, squeezing you into his chest. You squirmed, trying to get out of his grip, laughing, when you were joined by Will.

You know what? Maybe, things are going to be okay? Ya know?

__________________________

Read more of my fics here!!

Tagging : @girlandthemoon @herecomesthewriterwitch @megaliciab @meyocoko @alkadri-layal

[maybedefinitely404]

Day 29: Prinxiety/Loceit (pt 4)

Aaaand, part 4, the finale! 

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

@tsshipmonth2020

Day 29:  You have a telepathic link with your soulmate until the two of you meet.

Content warnings: discussion of conversion therapy/after effects, PTSD, food mentions, anxiety/panic attacks, internalized homophobia, mentions of the foster system/abuse (mental, emotional, neglect, past eating disorder), minor self harm/blood, mentions of dissociating.

Word count: 5.1k

Despite Roman’s claims that being around other people would only distract him, and he didn’t want to have to walk to the library every time he had homework, Patton’s constant pleading eventually broke him down. Now, much to his roommate’s delight, they spent every night in the middle of the study floor in the library, and Roman found that he actually looked forward to it. Sometimes someone he knew would walk by, and give him a valid reason to take a short break, and having other people around somehow motivated him to work harder. He was starting to understand the appeal of the place. 

Now, Patton and him were spending their afternoon there between classes, both working on their own projects and sharing a bag of popcorn twists. It was the only oil soaked snack that didn’t leave much residue on their fingers. Roman was deep in thought, struggling to remember an especially flowery Shakespeare monologue for a mock audition next week, when Patton kicked his leg under the table.

“What, Pat?” He took another moment to finish the sentence before he tore his eyes away from the book, surprised at his roommate’s barely contained excitement. 

“You’ve been humming for half an hour!” 

He hadn’t even noticed. He tended to do it a lot without realizing; humming along to his soulmate’s music. Ever since he’d come back almost a year ago, an occurrence he’d never had explained but held onto with fondness, Roman’s heart jumped every time his music played. It was just like old times, their old system immediately reinstated, and more than once he’d found himself singing along to the melodies in his head. Patton knew this, and could probably tell by the genre whether Roman was listening to his soulmate’s songs, or just had his own earworm.

“No, no, no, I like your humming! That’s not the point!”

“Then what’s the-”

“The guy behind you has his earbuds loud enough to hear!”

Roman strained his ears, and yes, he could barely hear the music coming from behind him. He definitely hadn’t noticed before, too deep in thought to notice something so trivial. But Patton was always on high alert, never able to keep his mind on one thing at a time. 

“Okay, but what does that ha-”

“You’ve been humming the same songs as he’s been listening to for half an hour, Ro! I think he’s your soulmate!”

Roman’s eyes widened and he spun around, effectively dropping his book onto the ground. Yeah, if he concentrated, he could tell that the song in his head was the same as the one just audible through the other’s earbuds.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive!” 

That’s all the convincing Roman needed. He jumped to his feet and rounded the other table so he was face to face with the stranger and knocked on the table a couple times. When he made eye contact, he thought he saw fear in the other’s face, but that couldn’t be right. Roman was not intimidating. The man at the table reached up to pop out one of his earbuds. 

“Hello lovely, I have a question for you,” Roman purred, dropping onto his elbows on the table. 

“I- I don’t-”

Apparently that counted as a meeting, because in that moment, the music in Roman’s head faded into nothingness. And he could tell it wasn’t just the music being paused. He was left with a neutral emptiness he hadn’t felt in a long time, a silence that was rare, and an innate knowledge that it had happened: their link was no longer necessary and had dissipated. Roman grinned wide, barely concealing a squeal. 

“You’re my soulmate!”

He didn’t know what reaction he was expecting, but he sure as hell hadn’t expected the man at the table to get up and sprint out of the building at full speed. 

“Stay here, Ro,” Patton was suddenly at his side, laying a hand on his bicep, “I’ll go after him. I don’t know what just happened but I don’t want it to happen again.”

Patton scooped up the other man’s things from the table and jogged out the library door.

-----

Virgil didn’t know where he was going; he hadn’t planned on running out of the library. Dammit, he hadn’t planned to run into his soulmate. And he knew that was his soulmate, and not just some weird coincidence. Because the moment they’d locked eyes, it was as if something in his mind had snapped, like a rubber band that had always been there but the pressure was so constant he didn’t notice it there until it was gone. Their bond had snapped; it was no longer necessary, because he’d met his soulmate. 

He recognized the guy, just barely. They were in the same first year math class, a course often taken by upperclassmen (probably like his soulmate) because they’d put off getting a math credit until their final years. Logan had warned Virgil of that when he was choosing his first year courses, and so he was safely getting it out of the way so he could focus on his major in the coming years. 

His breathing was choppy and strained as he tried to calm down his panic attack, dropping onto the ground under a large tree. He couldn’t keep running lest he collapse and draw more attention to himself, and that was far worse than anything he could imagine. Fighting the urge to scratch at his skin, he buried his head in his hoodie clad arms, fumbling with one hand to free his phone from his pocket. 

It’s actually a guy, it’s a guy, he’s gay, wrong wrong wrong-

No, not wrong. It’s not wrong.   

Yes it is, it’s going to hurt, you’re going to hurt, wrong wrONG WRONG!

His hands were shaking far too hard to text but he tried anyways, begging Janus to come pick him up early. Logan wouldn’t be done work for another couple hours, and usually Virgil would be fine just doing homework until his dad was ready to drive them home, but he didn’t think he’d be able to handle being on campus much longer. 

“Hey, kiddo?”

Virgil’s head jerked up just as he clicked send, fighting every urge in his body to bolt again. It wasn’t the guy… his soulmate… but someone else he hadn’t met before, panting. 

“Heya, my name’s Patton! You ran out without your stuff, so I brought it!”

Oh, he was holding his backpack, and his folder under one arm. Virgil was just trying to encourage his legs to move, to stand so he could take his things, when the stranger dropped into the grass in front of him. He flinched. 

“Here ya go,” He pushed it towards him like a child trying to coax out a scared cat, “I’m so sorry me and Ro scared you. He just gets over excited sometimes. I promise he’s actually very gentle.”

Virgil stared, pulling in a halting breath. 

“The guy who ran up to you, that’s Roman. I’m his roommate, by the way. I’m Patton. Did I introduce myself? Doesn’t matter. I’m a third year psychology major. Roman’s in third year too, music and theatre major.”

He should probably introduce himself too, but his hands were frozen, clamped around his phone, and he found his voice wasn’t cooperating. That didn’t deter the other dude, though.

“Here, I wrote out both of our numbers. Roman feels super bad for scaring you, so you can take your time, if you want.” He delicately placed a ripped piece of notebook paper on the backpack between them, “His is the first one. But I put mine in there too, so you can text me if you want to talk. The more friends, the better.”

Virgil’s phone buzzed, alerting him of Janus’ response.

“I’ll let you be, okay? Remember to text!” With an exuberant wave, he dashed back to the library. Virgil read Janus’ panicked message, asking what had happened, in a bit of a daze. His dad agreed to come get him, so he stuffed the paper into his pocket and slung his backpack over his shoulder.

-----

Janus had asked him not to go into his room when he was so worked up, instead giving him free reign of the living room while the older restarted the dinner he’d abandoned in favor of picking his son up. He’d turned on the TV for Virgil, changing the channel to a nature documentary, given Virgil his favorite weighted blanket, and left him with strict orders to call him if he started spiraling or needed a hug. 

The distraction had worked for a while, the soothing voice of the narrator almost lulling him to sleep, until his racing brain had come to the conclusion that this was the worst thing to ever happen in the history of ever and that he was going to die alone. He’d been a little hopeful that his soulmate would be a girl, to somewhat appease his trauma, but life was never that easy. A part of him had also been a little miffed about that hope, because as much as he liked to pretend, he had a preference for boys. A big preference. And his soulmate was cute. 

“Everything okay, Virgil?” Janus called through the pass through window into the kitchen, taking his eyes off his food preparation to watch his son’s pacing. 

“Yup!” He lied, picking and scratching at the skin of his hands out of his dad’s view. The pain settled him a little, giving him something he could control, but he knew he’d get a figurative slap on the wrist for it later. A concerned slap, not an angry one. Maybe more of ‘a cuddle on the couch and wrap the little patches of broken skin and an update with his counsellor’. So not really a slap. At all. As it usually went. 

Everything was wrong. What kind of shit first impression had he given his soulmate? Getting up and running away like an actual child? And that was only part of it. He was damaged goods, a broken person, who needed more help and reassurance than any other person. How could he explain to his soulmate that he was the cause of his problems without making him feel guilty? That wasn’t the life the man had signed up for, wasn’t the soulmate burden he’d wanted. He would want someone easy, someone who wouldn’t have panic attacks when they got shocked by a door knob, who didn’t stop eating when they were scared, who pressed pause on life when he woke up in a dissociating headspace. He couldn’t say that to him. He’d lost everything, that vague musical connection to an invisible soulmate, that had given him a subtle hope. It had been a quiet illusion, a promise that he’d be fine if it were never fulfilled. Knowing there was someone out there, providing him music, had been enough. But now…

“Virgil, hold these for me.”

When had Logan gotten home? He put his hands out obediently, clenching the fingers over the ice cubes placed in each palm. The sensation startled him and sent a shiver up his spine.

“Four, seven, eight. Ready?”

He followed the breathing pattern eagerly, feeling the curls of anxiety in his stomach slowly settle into butterflies. When he was breathing normally, an overwhelming sense of dizziness almost knocked him over. Logan took his arm and led him to the couch.

The next moment, Janus was kneeling in front of him, rubbing disinfectant into his few bloody scratches, the melting water dripping through his fingers and onto the carpet. 

“I should have noticed,” he murmured as he stuck a couple bandaids onto each hand, refusing to meet Virgil’s eyes.

“Don’t blame yourself, Janus. I don’t think it was happening for too long,” Logan assured, running a hand down Virgil’s spine. “Did this have to do with the reason you left school early today?”

Virgil nodded.

“Are you nonverbal?”

“No,” he choked, clearing his throat, “Just dry throat.”

“I got it,” Janus leapt to his feet and hurried to the kitchen.

With a heavy sigh, Virgil leaned into Logan’s side, the hand on his back traveling to wrap around his shoulder comfortingly. The last drops of the ice cube hit the carpet, and he dried his hands off on his jeans. “I met my soulmate today.”

“I see,” Logan said. For the umpteenth time, Virgil was beyond grateful that Logan was an expert at masking reactions. It made difficult conversations easier.

“It’s a guy.”

“How did that go?”

“I ran out of the library and had a panic attack. His roommate brought me my stuff and gave me their numbers. I made an idiot out of myself.”

Logan was quiet, giving Virgil a little squeeze. A water glass was pressed into his hands and Virgil downed the whole thing, passing it back to Janus, who placed it on the coffee table. 

“I think… I think I’m magnifying. Maybe.” He described his thoughts that led to his spiral as quickly as possible, feeling slightly pleased when Logan agreed with his hypothesis. 

“You are definitely magnifying. Good job for recognizing that, Virgil. You don’t even know him, much less what he thought of your interaction.”

“What’s our next step?” Janus spoke up, resting a hand on Virgil’s knee and rubbing it with his thumb.

He shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“Can you sleep on it, and message him tomorrow?”

Virgil thought about for a second before shaking his head even harder, “No. I have class with him tomorrow, and we’re getting a study guide for a test. I can not miss it. But what if he comes up to me, or wants to talk, and I embarrass myself again, and-”

His dads both hushed him at the same time and he took a deep breath, closing his eyes against Logan’s side. “What do I do?”

“You could message him tonight,” Janus drawled.

“Are you crazy?” He shrieked, “No! What would I even say? ‘Hey, you freaked me out today, sorry for running like a lunatic’?!”

“Why not explain the cause for your hasty escape?” Logan piped in.

“That’s way too much to load onto him as a first conversation.”

“Not all the gory details, just a vague explanation. That’s how I started talking to Logan,” Janus stated, adjusting his position on the floor. “If he’s your soulmate, Virge, he’ll be okay to deal with this. It’ll come out eventually, and if something else happens, it will be nice for him to have some context.”

Virgil groaned. “I hate when you make sense.”

“We can help you construct an adequate message.” Logan squeezed him again, meeting Janus’ eyes with a small smile.

“Fine.” Virgil snarled, pulling out his phone and the two numbers, typing the first one into his ‘new contact’ list. “Okay, what do I say?”

-----

V: Hey, I’m Virgil. We met earlier today. In a manner of speaking.

R: OMG, hi! I’m Roman. I am SO sorry for startling you!

V: It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault. 

R: I still feel bad DX

“He feels bad, what do I do?!”

“I would suggest explaining the reason you ran off to ease his concerns.”

“Me too. But ask first, and don’t give more details than you’re comfortable with.”

V: Can I be brutally honest for just a second?

R: Should I be nervous? Haha go ahead!

V: I was forced into conversion therapy about a year back, and I still carry a lot of the trauma with me. That’s why I ran. It was just gut instinct.

“He’s not responding, oh god, he’s going to block me, why isn’t he responding?!”

“I assume this news would take a moment to process. Focus on your breathing, Virgil. Don’t magnify.”

“You also sent it, like, ten seconds ago.”

R: Holy shit, that’s terrible. I’m so sorry. 

“...That’s not what I expected.”

“This is a regular reaction from a human being with even a lick of common sense, Virgil.”

“Seconded.”

V: It’s okay, I have a really great support system now. 

R: That’s good. I’ve never experienced anything like that, so I can only imagine how hard that was. 

R: I don’t expect you to answer if you don’t want to or don’t know, so please don’t feel pressured, but do you know what kind of soulbond we have? Is it platonic?

“Shit, fuck, who do I answer that?”

“With the truth, I’d imagine. Do you have an answer to his question?”

“Remember what I told you, kid. Your own pace.”

“Logan, if I explain it, can you put it into words? Please?”

V: I’m not averse to a possible romantic relationship in the future, but at the moment I am still learning to become comfortable with myself, as I have negative connections to that part of my identity that can become problematic if not properly worked through at my own pace.

R: Give me a couple seconds to decode that

V: My dad wrote it, he’s a prof. I have both of them helping me not freak out right now. 

R: You might want to date one day, but you need to take it slow because of your trauma. 

V: Uhm… yeah. I could have said it like that. 

R: Is talking to me upsetting you? We can always talk another time.

V: No, I’m okay. 

R: Okay, then as far as I’m concerned, we move at your pace. That’s not an issue for me at all. 

“I… oh. He’s… wow.”

“I agree with your sentiment.”

“I like this boy already.”

“DAD!”

R: Your dad’s a prof? 

V: One of them is. He teaches at our school, Prof Sanders. 4th year chemistry?

R: Oh shit. I’m in his class.

V: Lol he thinks he knows you

R: You have two dads?

V: Yep

R: That’s so cool. I’d really love to meet them.

V: Wow, we met today and you’re already wanting to meet my parents?

R: Heeey, I want to meet them as a FRIEND. 

V: My dad says after the semester’s over, you’re free to come by

One at a time, Virgil’s dads left him on the couch with an ear to ear grin, Janus to reheat dinner and Logan following him just so he could cling to his husband's waist as he moved around the kitchen. Neither of them wanted to disturb the little bubble their son was in. 

-----

In the weeks following, they’d started to sit together in the one class they shared. Virgil had begun to join him and Patton on their nightly library study sessions, and after some more gentle convincing, had given in to sitting with their whole friend group during meals at the cafeteria. He was growing more comfortable with Roman, no doubt about that.

Didn’t mean he wasn’t fighting off an anxiety attack as he waited by the door to get picked up for their first outing alone.

He kept checking his phone and glancing out the peephole as Janus ran calming fingers through his hair. Virgil leaned into the touch instinctively, consciously slowing his breathing as Janus hummed. Logan was watching him from the entrance to the hall, leaning on the kitchen door frame. There wasn’t much he could do, but dammit if he wasn’t going to watch his son go off on the most anxiety inducing situation of all of their lives.

“You’ll be okay, kid,” Janus muttered, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. “You’ve been friends with him for a while now, and he said there were no expectations. You’re in total control here.”

“What if I have a flashback, or a panic attack, or go nonverbal or something? He’s going to freak the fuck out and then all the work will be for noth-”

Logan spoke up. “You’re worried about things that may not even happen. And besides, haven’t you spoken to Roman about these things already?”

“A bit. Not in detail,” he whispered.

“I would suggest you do so, today if possible. It will make any possible situations that arise easier and less jarring to deal with.”

Virgil looked up at Janus, a pleading look in his eyes.

“He’s right, kid. The sooner you get it out of the way, the better.”

There was a knock at the door and Virgil nearly jumped out of his skin. To his disdain, Janus backed away until he was next to Logan, gesturing at the door with a small smile. Virgil growled out a curse and opened the door, the scowl on his face melting into a sickeningly authentic smile.

“How’s my favorite emo? Hi Mr. Sanders, hey Prof.”

“Hello.”

“Salutations.”

“Your favorite emo?” Virgil snarked, pulling on his jacket. It wasn’t cold, not in the slightest, but he’d rather have the extra layer.

“You’re the only emo I know, so the choice is easy.”

“By process of elimination, doesn’t that also imply I’m your least favorite emo too?”

“Don’t start this again, Mr. Son-of-a-professor.”

“I’ll start it if I want to!”

The door closed behind them with one final wave to his parents, and the house was quiet. Janus leaned into Logan’s waiting arms, resting his head on the other’s collar bone. 

“He’s all grown up.”

“That he is, my love.”

-----

Virgil smirked as Roman set out a large cliche picnic blanket, gesturing for him to sit. He did, crossing his legs and leaning on his knees as the other began to unload the basket. 

“Okay, so for sandwiches, I have turkey, peanut butter and jelly, and ham. Patton made me bring apple slices because he’s a dad, but I’m sure we can convince the ducks to eat them.”

To prove his point, a group of ducks paddled out from under a weeping willow half submerged in the creek.

“I like apples,” Virgil defended, grabbing a slice from the open container and shoving the whole thing in his mouth. “How many people were you intending to feed with that much food?”

Roman pouted from behind a container of potato salad. “I had to show off my food skills, duh.”

“You made that?” Virgil asked with raised eyebrows as Roman set out a tin of mini quiches and a smaller one stacked with brownies and cookies. 

“The cookies were Patton’s, but he insisted I take some. And I would have bought more, but…” He tipped the basket towards Virgil, revealing the bottom absolutely filled with different canned drinks and water bottles. “I didn’t know what you wanted to drink.”

Virgil actually did laugh as he stretched forward to snag a Doctor Pepper, taking another apple slice as he sat back. 

“Do you have a sandwich preference?” Roman asked, choosing a Sprite for himself. 

“Turkey looks good.” Virgil said before his choice paralysis could come into play, breathing a sigh of relief as Roman handed one of the sandwiches to him. The less stress he added to his own life, the better. 

Roman had been right to bring an assortment of food, because dammit, he was a really good chef. Virgil was nervous to try a quiche, since he’d never had them before and the texture was odd to him, but Roman assured that if he didn’t like it, he’d eat it instead. Apparently he wasn’t eeked out by germs. After a nibble though, Virgil ate almost half the tin. Who knew cold eggs could be good? Roman took the ham sandwich, and they split the PB&J. The ducks were more than pleased to be given Roman’s half of the apple slices but Virgil refused to share, since fresh fruits were still a treat after a life of preserves. The younger wasn’t a huge fan of the potato salad, so Roman eagerly finished it, seemingly more excited to move onto the desserts but not wanting to leave any leftovers. 

They were just finishing up the frankly absurd amount of cookies and brownies when Roman broke their casual bickering, chasing a chocolate chip bite with a long swig of Sprite and tossing another apple to their swarm of awaiting ducks.

“So, tell me a bit about yourself, Virge.”

“What do you want to know?” Virgil replied, leaning back on his hands. 

“Anything, really. Childhood, siblings, favorite color, darkest fear.”

“Quite a spectrum, there.” There was a lot he could talk about, but he felt it might be better to get the bigger things out of the way. Janus was sort of the leading expert on this kind of thing, so his advice had probably been sound. He brushed his hands together to get the crumbs off them as he spoke, “Okay, so I grew up in the foster system.”

Roman tried to hide his wince. “Ouch. I’ve heard a lot of bad things.”

“It’s fucked,” Virgil drawled, stretching his arms above his head with a yawn, “I spent most of my time in a group home, though, because I was called ‘difficult’. No one wanted to deal with my ass.”

“Why?”

“Mmm, ran away, didn’t listen, talked back, antagonized any biological kids.”

“So like, a normal teenager?” The last apple slice was sacrificed to the feathered hoard. 

Virgil snorted, “Yeah, but I came with a receipt. And I kind of liked the group home more.”

“How many kids were in the home?”

“Never more than fifteen. It was a big home. But they circulated, and I was like a housecat. Never gone for more than a month.”

“Jeez,” Roman sighed, taking a sip of his soda. 

“My foster homes weren’t better.”

“Oh?” It was a subtle encouragement to keep talking, but now it was getting into territory that Virgil liked to avoid. 

“One of my foster houses was really neglectful, forgot to give us food, didn’t let us do laundry, that kind of stuff. Gave me a wicked ED. I was twelve.”

Roman grimaced.

“My next one was more emotionally and mentally manipulative. I was kind of made into a babysitter for their younger bio kids. I had to get them ready for school, make them dinner, just basically be a parent. After I ran away from them, they started having trouble placing me. I was older, had a shitty record, kind of a left over. I mean, I deserved it. I was a dick.”

“You were a kid, Virgil.”

“A kid who chose to make his own life harder.” He shrugged, “That’s why I was placed into… that home. They were a last resort place for other ‘trouble kids’.”

Virgil took a deep breath and, with Janus’ words in his mind, began to explain his attempted conversion; the slip of tongue that led to the placement, the verbal abuse, food deprivation, electroshock therapy, the snuck antipsychotics, forced isolation, ending with the day the wife had called the police behind her husband’s back out of guilt and he was rescued. 

Roman was quiet for a long minute after he finished talking, staring entranced at the can in his hands. The ducks had dispersed during Virgil’s story, upset at the lack of food. 

“I…”

Virgil waited for him to get up and leave, to say with false apologies that he didn’t think they would work out, that the connection was wrong. Because who would want to deal with him, his stupid trauma? But the man next to him didn’t move except to breathe, and Virgil took that as an invitation to continue, his tone quieter.

“I was super out of it for a while. Honestly, I don’t remember the rescue, or like a solid month after that, except for snippets here and there. The drugs were fucky. And then my social worker, god bless her heart, found Janus and Logan. Janus was in CT too for a while when he was younger, so they took me in. Took a long time, but I opened up to them, but by then I was eighteen. They still insisted on adopting me, though, and there’s absolutely no convincing Logan once he’s made his mind up, so… they did.” He waved his hands around a little. 

“Three months,” Roman blurted out of nowhere, making Virgil flinch.

“What?”

“Were you in ther-... CT for three months?”

“Two and a bit, why?” The moment it was out of his mouth, he realized the implications, and his heart froze.

“You were gone for three months. I thought you died, or… I don’t even know.” Roman looked like he was about to cry, watching Virgil imploringly. Him going MIA must have affected his soulmate more than he’d thought. 

“Two months of CT, and then another one before I got a new phone. I’m…” All the guilt he’d felt at the time came rushing back, the reminder of his soulmate’s music dwindling to almost nothing and him being helpless, “I’m sorry. Shit, I’m so sorry. That must have been…” 

“No, Virgil, you don’t get to apologize. That was not your fault.” He reached out a hand as if to grab Virgil’s and immediately pulled back, wringing his fingers instead. “Sorry, my choice of comforting is physical. But I won’t.”

“Thank you,” Virgil choked out, running his hands through his hair.

“Can you look at me?”

He did, taking a shuddering breath. He was moments away from a panic attack and he was not looking forward to that disaster. 

“You were being- quite literally- tortured for months. You were abused in ways that shouldn’t be legal, and you came out the other side stronger. Frankly, I’m amazed at your perseverance. You’re amazing.”

Simultaneously, Virgil felt a hot blush rise to his ears, and a sharp jolt run through his arms into his chest. He jerked violently, tipping over his own soda onto the grass. 

“Shit, did I say something wrong?” Roman gasped, reaching over to pluck up the can before it could spill more. It was already half empty, thank goodness. 

“No, I just… do that. Sometimes. From… CT. Kind of like ghost shocks, I guess.” Why couldn’t the ground just open up and swallow him whole, he wondered. He hadn’t done that jerk thing in front of anyone in so long. The last time had been in front of his now-parents, and they’d quickly grown used to it. He’d grown used to their own contact very soon and his twitches had stopped after he was accustomed to it, but it had never been directed towards him, and he had a feeling he’d need time to stop his impulse reactions. 

“And me calling you amazing…”

“Triggered them. It’s an exposure thing though, so I’ll just need to get used to it. Don’t blame yourself.” He dug the heels of his hands into his eyes until bright white flashes of light burst into his vision. Suddenly, he was exhausted. 

“Do you want me to drive you home?” Roman asked, already packing up their picnic basket. Virgil nodded, his social meter drained, and all ability to be a civil person was quickly deteriorating. His therapist said that would also begin to heal after a while. 

Roman was an absolute angel though, letting the silence linger so Virgil could cradle his slowly growing headache, even opening the door of his car like a perfect gentleman. As they pulled out of the parking lot, Virgil rested his head against the seat and let a tiny smile tug at his lips. It would be a long process to retrain his brain (in theory, he was okay with being in a relationship with a man, but actually doing it? Infinitely harder), but for once, he was actually looking forward to the process. 

Would you guys like a collection of one shots surrounding Virgil’s gradual warming up to his new family, a decent mix of angst and fluff? I have some ideas. 

Thanks for reading! Now, a taglist. 

@sapphic-satan

@anxious-logic

@wigsnatchedhoteltrivago

@extraintrovertedalien

@punk-academian-witch

@ray-does-stuff

@chimneychimney

@i-cant-find-a-good-username

@falsemood

@wtf-casper

@cpmansion

@killjoyjay

@fandomfan315

@anxious-darkwolf

@eternalmoonlight19

@winterwynd

@espepspes

@ironwoman359

@willowaudreykeyes

@mycatshuman

@weweregoddesses

@im-an-anxious-wreck

@imknittingahat

@surohsopsisofclouds

@korsaromantic66

@astraheart04

@quartz-z

@mikalya12

@koalas-in-coffee

@isabelle-stars

@a-ghostlight-for-roman

@existentialeggdogg

@pumpkinminette

@coffeeflavoredtears525600

@wyvern-tales

@heyhalloween

@grayson-22

@bullet-tothefeels

@mostlikelytokillyouwithaspoon

@lovelivingmydreams

@sarcasmremovedsoul

@crofterskinnie

@blissbiscuit

@baka-monarch

@lostspacecat

@green-call

[rukia-writes]

✨Teacher! Erwin x Coach! Reader✨

✨Setting: modern au✨

✨Warnings: none✨

“Connie Springer! Front and center!”

The cheerleaders “ooo” as they were stretching on the football field the football players were doing the same thing, peeking over at the cheerleaders here and there. But now they were concerned for the team mate Connie Springer who was called out by Mike Zacharias with Erwin smith standing beside him. Connie had an idea of why he was called over, bombing his history test.

Erwin had told Mike that Connie wasn’t doing so well in his class and needed remediation to which Mike agreed, Connie’s team mates cheered him up by agreeing to help him study. The cheering caught the attention of cheerleaders coach, (Name). Walking over to see what the fuss was about she greeted Erwin and Mike, Mike greeted the sexy cheerleader coach while Erwin was a bit slow on the uptake as his face was a bit red and he was acting slightly bashful.

Which was something that happened quite often.

Mike knew why, all the coaches and teachers knew why.

The history teacher and cheerleader coach went to high school together and were friends. Now they were co workers. Erwin did fill her in that a certain football player wasn’t keeping up with his grades and (Name) was sad to hear the news but wished Connie a happy study to which he was grateful. Connie watched the three talk to each other about upcoming events but particularly Erwin.

The next day, class was just about to start.

Connie had arrived in Erwin’s class early and now Erwin was trying silence Connie.

“No, that not true.”

“But it is, you like Ms. (last name) the cheerleading coach.”

Connie had a smug smirk on his face while Erwin was a bit nervous that his student found out his long time secret. Connie cleared his throat and moved his eye brows up and down as he put his plan into action.

“I can get you a date. Raise my grade up and I’ll get you a date.”

“...Ok. But no date, I don’t raise your grade.”

“Sweet, I’ll take care of it Mr. smith.”

Erwin started having second thoughts as Connie smiled going to his seat, and with good reasoning.

“You want us to what?”

“Guys, I need you to help me hook up Mr. Smith and Ms. (Last Name).”

Connie was in the locker room pleading with his teams mates to help him, Connie didn’t actually think Erwin would agree with his offer. But since he did he wasn’t going to fail in his mission. Eren was the first to speak up.

“I honestly don’t see why he needs our help. Mr. Smith is pretty handsome, all the girls have a crush on him.”

“To be honest, same goes for Ms. (Last Name). All the guys like her. Who is to say Ms. (Last name) isn’t seeing someone already?”

“Ah, shit I didn’t think about that.”

Connie responded to Jean’s suggestion that the sexy cheerleader coach was already seeing someone. It was quiet in the locker room until Reiner finally broke the silence.

“Maybe one of the cheerleaders could help us. They’re closer to Ms. (Name) than we are.”

“Now that’s what I’m talking about. You’re a genius Reiner.”

Connie praised Reiner and with that after football practice Eren and Connie walked over to the cheerleaders side to see if they could tell them anything.

“Ms. (Name) isn’t seeing anyone.”

“Yeah, she says she been too busy to really be dating.”

Historia added in with Pieck, Eren scratched his ear as he asked another question for the two cheerleaders.

“Can you two get some more information on her. Like what she enjoys doing etc.,”

“What do we get out of this?”

Pieck asked as Historia nodded her head in agreement with Pieck, Eren and Connie looked at each other then back to the two cheerleaders.

“What do you want?”

“Do my math homework Eren.”

“Who is your teacher?”

“Mr. Ackerman- Eren!”

Connie and Historia called out for Eren who didn’t need hear anything else as he was already leaving as he knew Levi Ackerman’s classes were difficult and he wanted nothing to do with it.

“Okay fine, do my foreign studies homework.”

“I can work with that.”

Eren returned and agreed to do both Pieck and Historia’s homework. The next day Pieck returned to Connie with a list of things that (Name) liked to Connie’s joy. Now all he needed to do was set up the two, and he had an idea that was sure to get the okay.

(Name) was currently outside on the football field with her cheerleaders practicing a new cheer until she heard several loud cheers. Looking she saw nearly every student that went to the prestigious university and their mascot running towards her and the cheerleaders surrounding them all. Then on the intercom a familiar voice was heard saying,

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we are here on a mission to get the approval of Ms. (Last Name) dating Mr. smith.”

It was Hanji on the intercom.

Surprised was what (Name) was, surprised Erwin wanted to date her and that every student was in on this. That when the cheerleaders then began a cheer of “Say Yes” then the students also chanted “Say Yes” Connie was in the mascott costume and kneeled infront of (Name) asking if she would date Erwin smith.

Levi was on the sidelines recording the whole thing with Mike watching, holding in his chuckles. Hanji was still on the intercom saying “Please (Name) date our precious Erwin, he’s a sweet guy and likes long walks by the beach, old movies and Sunday night drives. Ya can’t go wrong.”

Erwin had just finished grading papers for the day when Connie came in strolling with a piece of paper with a big smile on his face.

“I got some good news.”

Connie handed over the paper that had (Name)’s phone number that said call me, Erwin was surprised.

“She really said yes?”

“Dude, ask everyone in school. We all pitched in to ask.”

“..You did what?”

Connie explained how he managed to get everyone at the university to crowd around (Name) and ask if she wanted to go on a date with him, to which she happily agreed. Erwin was happy (Name) agreed but he was also embarrassed that everyone in school knows about his crush. None the less, Erwin raised Connie’s grade and went on a date with his high school crush. Connie even handed over the piece of paper of all the things (Name) listed she liked, earning Connie a few more points on his grade.

The next day when Erwin and (Name) came back to school, everyone asked how the date went. The two said they had a great time leaving a few details out but none the less the two said they had a great time.

Now, a new problem was on the horizon.

Eren needed help with his math homework.

✨Rukia-Writes✨

[infinite-wanders]

After the Storm,

Something was Born.

Ch 2: The Heartbreak Prince

Monday had come around again and Devi reflected back on the last painful seven days.

Paxton had now made it a point to arrive early to Facing History so he could pick a seat far away from his usual seat in front of her. Devi had accepted being iced out by Paxton, now familiar with his fight-flight response to when shit hit the fan between them. The few occasions he let himself make eye contact with her just made her miss him more. Even when Paxton was around Trent and Marcus, she'd notice how the small crease forming between his brows, and how his smile didn't quite reflect in his eyes, which most of the time just seemed so sad.

 The situation with Ben had also not improved, and he seemed to have taken Paxton's lead of avoiding her like the plague. Even worse was that he hadn't directed a single snarky comment since his initial outburst in Facing History. Devi noticed his bag seeming heavier, so it was evident that he was avoiding going to his locker. The one time she had managed to see him there, he'd slammed the locker shut without taking anything and stormed off before she could get any words out. Never would she have thought that she'd pine for one of his usual eye rolls or a sarcastic remark. Devi did not enjoy being invisible to Ben, and wanted their old banter back.

 Despite currently being non-existent to her previous paramours, that was no longer the case at school after her rager. She had made a name for herself, but it was a nickname she was not a fan of -- Crazy Devi.

She wasn't surprised if Ben started this name as he had with UN. As hurtful as it was hearing it whispered in the halls, it gave a tiny glimmer of hope that it her and Ben could go back to normal.

 --

As Devi opened her locker to leave for the day, she jumped at the sight of Paxton's reflection in her locker mirror.

"Huh?" Her head whips to now face him.

"I need you," Paxton pleads.

Oh no, did I fall asleep on my homework again was?

"... to help me get into college." Devi's flicker of hope extinguished in the same sentence. 

Nope, I am definitely awake. She nods obliged in agreement. I have got to stop getting my hopes up.

"Did you want to go to my house, my mom won't be home till dinner?"

"Okay sure, whatever," Paxton agrees hesitantly.

Devi is hopeful at this opportunity to tutor Paxton. They'd go back to spending time together and talking again, and eventually he'll forgive her if she can help get him into college.

 --

 As they walk into the dining area, she offers Paxton a beverage to ease the tension, to which he declines with a silent head shake, and pushes his books across the table in reply. Her anxiety increases at the painful silence. She much preferred when someone was speaking to her over silent treatment, even if they were angry.

"Cool. Cool, cool, cool," she said lamely. "I actually work a little better too when I'm dehydrated."

His Trigonometry textbook cracks under her touch, "Wow. This book has not been opened before," she mumbles in surprise.

Paxton just looks at her as if to say -  Obviously, so what?!

She regrets her comment, and suggests they start with Maths.

"You mean where should you start," shaking his head, her face drops at the insinuation.

Paxton continued, and Devi was realising his silence and angry words were both equally hard to take. "Look, when I said I needed your help, I meant I need you to do my work for me. So, when you're done with my English essay, you can start-"

"What? I can't do that. That would be cheating," she chuckled nervously. Surely he wasn't serious.

"Cool. Then you should be really good at it, huh?" he counters.

Yup, I walked into that one. Devi's anxiety was now replaced with the sickening feeling of her heart dropping into her stomach.

"Paxton, let me explain-"

"Explain what?" he scoffs, as he gets up from the table. "How you thought you could get away dating both of us... You must think I'm such an idiot."

"I don’t think you're an idiot," she retorts.

"I liked you. You know... I thought we were..."

Even though she'd heard him say this a few times now, part of her always doubted that Paxton really liked her.

"What?" Devi prompts him. Thought we were WHAT!?

"It doesn't matter," he replies, shutting down and heading towards the door.

She starts to apologise again hoping to calm the situation, but instead Paxton storms back angrily. Oh no, he's poppin' off.

"Look, I could honestly give a shit about you and Ben Gross. All right? .... But you trashed my chances at a swimming scholarship. So now I'm going to college on a you-doing-my-homework scholarship. We good?"

She swallowed and gave curt nod. Her heart beating like a jack hammer.

"Good," he replied before walking away and slamming the front door behind him.

Devi fell back into her chair speechless. If all he'd wanted from her was to do his homework then why had he bothered coming over at all? She misread his plea for help as a chance of forgiveness. 

She had been dreaming of Princeton long before she first laid eyes on Paxton in the third grade. Devi had indirectly taken Stanford away from him. If the situation was reversed, would Devi be able to forgive him if he affected her getting into Princeton.

If Paxton had two-timed her with Zoe Maytag, she couldn't deny that it would have destroyed her inside.

Of course, there was no coming back from this for them. All they would be now to each other is a typical high school trope -- jock gets nerd to do his homework for her. 

Paxton had long sat on this throne of perfection, a king of Devi's heart. She'd hurt him so bad this time that his anger and hurt had made him bitter. She promised her future self would have more introspection and mature decision-making, so she'd never feel this heart break again.

Devi started to feel numb as she became overwhelmed with all these thoughts. She pinched leg to make sure they hadn't decide to follow suit. She felt it alright, now wiping the tears back. She took a deep breath to compose herself and started working on his homework.

[spicysoftsweet]

Chapter 4

Masterlist

Regardless of what anyone says, time really does heal most wounds, and particularly so for middle schoolers with terribly short attention spans and even shorter fuses.

Pain is both enduring and fleeting, its dual nature the only constant.

A year had passed since Shinichiro’s death, and things had essentially returned to normal for the burgeoning Tokyo Manji gang and their affiliates minus Kazutora. Kumi’s biggest concern today was that she was now faced with a tutee who had the shortest attention span and fuse of them all, and she had not even seen it coming.

“B-Baji?” She said, dumbfounded as her eyes settled on the young man sitting in the corner, chewing a pencil with irritation as he pored over a workbook in front of him. Kumi looked around the deserted classroom, ran quickly outside to check that she was indeed in the right place before returning quietly to stand at the entrance. Baji hadn’t heard her soft voice or her light footsteps the first time, but feeling her eyes on him, he then looked up in her direction, his mouth pulling into a grimace once he saw her.

“You’re not-” he started.

“You can’t be-” she began.

The pencil snapped in his hand under pressure, and he groaned audibly, running his hands through his hair.

“You’re the tutor?!”

Kumi wrinkled her nose and crossed her arms.

“It’s not like I knew it would be you! If I did I wouldn't have come over here!"

“Then don’t!” He hissed. Kumi frowned, keeping her irritated but slightly concerned look on him and his face reddened for a split second before he turned away, staring out the window to avert his gaze as though her very look would pierce through his skin. “What?!”

Her frown deepened and she hesitated for a moment before stepping forward and rearranging the desk right before him so that she could face him.

She leaned in just slightly so that she could look at exactly what math problems he was struggling to comprehend, then glanced up at him. Entirely too close for Baji’s comfort, he shifted back his chair, which made a loud screeching sound, but Kumi was too geared into academic mode to be offended.

“Are you really struggling this much? I was told to start as though you were two grade levels behind.”

With this comment, she opened up one of the textbooks and pulled out a couple pencils because she sure as hell was going to get the extra credit she had been offered for this task, no matter what it cost her.

The tomato shade Baji’s ears had taken on seemed to deepen, and he whipped his head back to face her, now clearly between anger and embarrassment and Kumi considered for a moment scooting her own seat back before he lunged at her. But instead, she remembered what Mitsuya had said a while ago.

First, that Baji was, deep down, a good guy and second, that he might actually like her.

Her ears warmed at the thought briefly, then she banished it completely as she had done the entire past year, remembering that whether he liked her or not, he was a delinquent failing math hard enough that he had to repeat the entire year and that simply would not do, no matter what.

His foul mouth especially reminded her not to entertain any positive thoughts, even though now that she was close to him and face to face, she could actually admit that he was a little attractive, especially now that she was no longer terribly afraid of him.

“Bring someone else. I don’t want your fucking help,” he barked, crossing his arms and raising his foot onto the desk in a gesture of defiance.

Kumi pressed her lips together and let out a sigh of defeat. Then, she smiled widely and closed her books.

“Well, I give up. Good luck, Baji.”

Before she could rise to feign leaving the room, Baji grabbed her quickly by the wrist and pulled her to him, semi-roughly. She made an unintentional yelp and he immediately let go, and she whisked in his direction, offended that he grabbed her.

But before she could actually say anything, he murmured in the quietest voice she had ever heard from him.

“Don’tleavejusthelpme,” he pleaded through his teeth.

Kumi’s cheeks burned a little hotter as she settled back into her seat, but she tried her best to keep an air of superiority.

“Only because you asked so nicely.”

---

Going from seeing Kazutora almost every day to not seeing him at all was difficult, to say the least. While her boyfriend wasn’t the only thing that kept her occupied, the void that he left while he was away felt incredibly loud. But there wasn’t much she could do except wait for him, occasionally visiting his mother in hopes of hearing some good news. Unfortunately, Kaksi quickly realised that Kazutora’s mother had barely any interest in her own son.

That didn’t really come as a surprise considering what the boy had told her despite not remembering much about his childhood. Still, Kaksi couldn’t even begin to imagine how Kazutora was dealing with juvie. A year had already passed though and she would be able to see him again after the next, picking up exactly where they had left off. This was what kept her smiling through the days.

But things had changed quite a lot already. While Kaksi wasn’t part of Toman, she had heard that their numbers were increasing, which was steadily making them more famous, a fact that wasn’t exactly thrilling to her. After Shinichiro’s death, she could only hope that none of her friends would get in any more trouble. But it wasn’t like they ever listened to her.

So she kept quiet, trying to distance herself as much as possible from any type of business involving the gang while also keeping a good relationship with the founding members of Toman, more notably, Mikey. What had originally started as some way for Kaksi to repay herself for the imaginary implications that she had with Kazutora’s mistakes turned into friendly dates with Mikey.

Every week, on Saturday at exactly 12:30 p.m., the girl would have him pick her up with his CB250T near her place then drive them to his favorite restaurant. At first, it felt a little strange, knowing the history of his not-exactly brand new bike and also considering that Kaksi only ever rode on Kazutora’s bike. However, it turned out that sitting behind Mikey felt somewhat safer and actually quite enjoyable.

Kaksi had learned that Mikey was actually pretty talkative; while he never talked about his emotions, he did enjoy speaking to her about a range of things. He also started displaying his childish side to her more and more, which Draken quickly taught her how to handle. She found that she didn’t mind carrying little flags around in her bag for when Mikey’s meals needed them.

She also enjoyed seeing her gift around his wrist, which she noticed was missing something today.

“Mikey,” she said as he hungrily took a big bite from his sandwich.

The boy hummed and looked at her, his mouth full and with a little  bit of mayonnaise at the corner. Kaksi chuckled, before wiping it off and speaking.

“The Taiyaki charm on your bracelet,” she pointed out. “It’s gone.”

Mikey took a moment before answering, not wanting to spit out some of his meal on his companion.

“Yeah, I took it off.”

“Oh. Did you not like it?” she questioned.

“No, I kept it,” the boy explained. “I prefer wearing the bracelet all the time, like you do, but I didn’t want to lose the charm in a fight or something.”

Kaksi’s eyes widened slightly at his explanation and she could feel her face getting warmer all of a sudden.

“Looks like you really like it,” she teased him, nonetheless.

“Yeah, I do,” he replied, before taking another bite of his meal.

Kaksi didn’t usually have other boys flustering her, and she didn’t know how to feel about it.  

---

Kaksi found that it was easy to forget her own confusing feelings when she was faced with addressing her friend’s feelings instead. Kumi had come over for a sleepover, and one of the first things the young girl did once Kumi had settled down her bags and curled up into one of her bean bag chairs was ask her how her tutoring session went.

“Why do I feel like you had something to do with this?” Kumi accused once she’d finished recounting her surprisingly productive session. Baji seemed to actually want to learn, the threat of repeating a grade a second time a sufficient enough motivator.

Kaksi’s brown eyes almost sparkled with glee while Kumi wasn’t the least bit amused.

“Was it just math you went over? Did you study chemistry too?”

Kumi hurled a pillow at her across the room at full strength, which Kaksi dodged expertly before laughing.

“Come on, it’s funny!”

Kumi raised an eyebrow.

“I need you to try to set me up with normal boys,” Kumi said, tonally emphasizing the word ‘normal’ while she fiddled with a tangled mess of fabric in her hands. She was trying to follow Kaksi’s bracelet pattern in red and white and was getting more and more frustrated by the minute.

Kaksi gently took the growing disaster out of her hands and teased the messy flosses apart, smiling sadly to herself. The smile made Kumi uneasy as she anticipated what she was thinking about.

“It’s good if at least one of us ends up happy.”

Kumi sighed.

“He’s not dead, Kaksi. It’s just juvie. He’ll get out and you can be all lovey dovey again.”

Kaksi seemed to consider this, and nodded her head. Kumi noticed that her friend had almost immediately made order out of her mess and looked at her with both awe and a mild embarrassment.

“I was trying to fix that for the past 20 minutes, what the hell?!”

Kaksi grinned, this time sincerely, and handed the separated flosses back to Kumi to start over.

“I’m good at damage control, I guess.”

---

Damage control was a little bit of what Kumi was attempting, she liked to tell herself.

If Baji was with her, catching up to grade level in math, he couldn’t be out on the streets and cause trouble. It gave her a sense of civic duty that she was molding this menace into a productive member of society.

Munching as quietly as possible on a Pepero stick, she watched him curiously as he wrote numbers and symbols, working out the answer to a complex algebraic equation. She was less focused on the work he was showing on the page, instead observing the gentle furrow in his brows as he focused silently.

Now that he was concentrating, he was visibly less volatile. Kumi thought he even looked like he had brushed his hair a little bit today, but she wasn’t so sure. A dark lock fell forward into his field of view and before she could contemplate whether or not she wanted to tuck it behind his ear, he spoke suddenly.

“Bambi, what are you staring at?” He didn’t look up.

Kumi’s eyes widened as she repeated, “B-Bambi?”

He paused writing, then glanced up from his sheet finally, his eyes meeting hers.

“Your eyes are huge and you always seem to be staring. Like a lost deer.”

His voice was neutral enough that she wasn’t sure if he was actually making fun of her or not.

“W-why…?” She trailed off. Had he just forgotten her name and was coming up with a surrogate?

Baji blew air out of his nose and shook his head, murmuring a ‘never mind’ as he erased something off the page.

Baji and ‘Bambi’ continued to march through the problem set through the late afternoon and into the early evening.

---

Hearing Baji’s latest nickname for her friend, Kaksi couldn’t help smiling. While Kumi had argued with her that it was definitely not a term of endearment that the boy had started using for her, Kaksi decided to believe that it was. Therefore, teasing would be endless from now on.

She knew that provoking Baji was a bad idea, but she correctly believed that she was one of the few people that could get away with it mostly unscathed. Yet before she could say anything, walking next to the boy on the sidewalk on their way to their respective places, he spoke.

“Mikey and you are looking very friendly lately.”

Kaksi’s eyes widened slightly, not exactly sure what to answer. She immediately got defensive.

“So do you with Kumi!”

“Shut up! That’s not true,” he protested, eyebrows furrowed. “She’s just been helping me with school a lot.”

Baji didn’t really know why he immediately felt the need to justify himself.

“I know,” she replied, with a little smile. “She’s great, I told you.”

Baji looked away. “Whatever.”

Kaksi couldn’t help chuckling, not having seen his face but picturing him rolling his eyes still.  

“But for real, what’s up with Mikey and you, though?”

The girl took a moment before answering.

“Nothing. I just felt bad after… Shinichiro’s death, you know?” she explained. “Even though I know there was nothing I could do about it. So now I treat him to lunch every week.”

Kaksi was unsure about what exact good this little action did to Mikey. But as long as she could make him smile, this was satisfaction enough. Baji took in this new information quietly for a moment, then laughed.

“Damn and what do I have to do for you to give me some money?” Baji joked with a smile, noticing the slight change of tone in his friend’s voice.

The girl chuckled.

“Be nicer to Kumi,” she teased.

“I’ve been nice enough to Bambi.”

Kaksi laughed, he was definitely heading in the good direction she had to admit. She pressed a little.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if you had a girlfriend too when Kazutora’s out of juvie?”

Baji made a gagging noise before speaking again.

“And look as gross as you two? I’ll pass.”

“I’m pretty sure you meant cute,” she teased him with a smile, before letting out a little sigh. “I can’t wait to see him again.”

Baji instantly felt guilt wash over him at those words. If only he had been more insistent on that day and had convinced Kazutora to give up on that idea instead of following him. But he had already had that conversation with Mikey and Kaksi separately and everyone knew that there was nothing anyone could have done to prevent this incident. Still, it was difficult sometimes to accept this thought.

“We’ll see him soon,” Baji reassured with a little smile.

They didn’t say anything further for a little while, walking in silence.

“I never talk about Kazutora with Mikey,” Kaksi spoke again. “It feels like I shouldn’t.”

The boy understood that feeling all too well; besides, Kaksi shouldn’t be the one to address this situation despite her close ties to Kazutora and now to Mikey too. 

“I did,” he told her. “Not much, but someone has to defend Kazutora.”

Kaksi hated that Kazutora had to be defended. How could anyone do this for him? She felt bad thinking about this. Could anyone blame Mikey if he refused to forgive her boyfriend? Could anyone even expect forgiveness from Mikey? The girl understood Baji’s complicated position, he just wanted his friends to get along like they used to.

“What did you tell him?”

“The truth,” he explained. “That it was all an accident and that Kazutora only had good intentions for him, as stupid as it sounds now.”

The girl didn’t think anyone doubted Kazutora’s intentions. Unfortunately, she wasn’t sure this was enough to fix what had been broken.

“I know he is upset, even though he won’t talk about it,” Baji continued. “But he knows Kazutora would never hurt his friends on purpose.”  

“Kazutora’s not a bad person,” she said, almost whispering, more to herself than anyone else.

“No, he’s not and I’m sure it will be better once he’s out of juvie.”

Kaksi smiled at her friend, she could only hope it would be.

[thatsbucknasty]

she used to be mine (viii) waitress au

summary: Inspired by the broadway musical. Y/N Beck is a pie baking force to be reckoned with. She’s pregnant with her lazy ass husband, Quentin Beck’s baby. As everything around her turns upside down, Doctor James Buchanan Barnes charms his way into her life.

pairing: Y/N x Bucky 

tags are open c:

it’s been a while and I’m sorry it took me so long to update, I hope you’re still enjoying this!

chapter 8: bad idea

What was I thinking? I can’t get involved with my doctor, no matter how sweet and handsome he is. I’m still legally a married woman. I don’t need any more drama right now. I gotta focus on carrying my baby to full term and building a life for us both.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to- please forgive me, I know technically you’re still married and I don’t want to pressure you into doing anything you feel uncomfortable with”.

He stands up quickly and puts effort to keep himself a few feet away from me, and I find myself yearning for him to close the distance but also grateful cause right now I need space. I need to breathe.

“Please leave, Bucky”. I plead and my voice isn’t cold but he still looks at me with the saddest puppy eyes in history and my heart breaks as I watch him leave the room.

~

“Where are the cookie trays? I can’t find anything in this kitchen, I leave for a few days, that’s it, just a couple of days and nothing’s in its place!”

“Ooh, someone’s cranky today” Sam thinks he’s being funny.

“Sam, don’t. She hasn’t had a single cup of coffee in months now, I think the withdrawal symptoms are finally showing up, plus you should never call a pregnant woman ‘cranky’ if you want to preserve your well being”. 

“I’m right here, you know?” I yell at them.

“What happened, sweetie? You seem really upset”.

“It’s nothing, I just gave myself a deadline and I’m stressing over it, that’s all”.

“A deadline? What for? Do you need a planner too? Cause I accidentally bought two of them, so if you want-”.

“Thanks, Wanda, I don’t need a planner. The deadline’s for my savings. I have to make 36 pies today and another 36 tomorrow if I want to pay the hospital for my past bill. I already have more than half of it and if I have that bill dealt with by the weekend, I can start saving for the birth again”.

“I think I have a headache, that’s a lot of maths for me”. Sam chimes in from across the kitchen.

“Y/N, we already told you we can help you out! You don’t need to be doing all of this on your own and working extra time while pregnant isn’t exactly great for the baby”. Nat scolds me with her mom friend voice but I already told them, this is my problem and I’ll deal with it alone, I just roll my eyes at her and continue with my task.

-

“Okay, we know she’s stubborn and won’t let any of us pay for anything. I respect how hard working she is but now’s not the time to deny help from her friends”. Natasha explains to everybody in the room while Y/N is baking her 7th batch of pies where she can’t hear them. The diner’s closed and there are no patrons left, so the three of them are sitting in a booth.

“Do you think something happened with Doctor Ocean Eyes back at the hospital? First she seemed happy to be left alone with him and when we got back she was packing her stuff and screaming at us to take her away from there, it’s all so confusing”. Wanda scratches her head and Sam just sighs, sinking into the booth, clueless.

“Maybe, but she won’t talk about it”. Nat responds.

“What if someone asked Doctor Pretty what happened?” Wanda grabs Nat’s hand excited about her genius idea.

“I don’t know honey, that could make her even angrier”. 

“I’ll do it. I’ll go talk to him”. Sam straightens up.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah! Y/N is like a sister to me, I should go see this Doctor of hers and demand answers!” He stands up, decisiveness in his eyes and Wanda cheers him up.

-

“Good morning, ma’am. Is Doctor Barnes here?” Sam walks up to nurse Maria’s desk.

“Sure, he’s with a patient. Does your wife have an appointment?”

“My wife? No, no, I’m just here to talk to him, I won’t be long, I promise”.

“Oh, well if you could just sit over there and wait till he’s free I can let him know you’re here to see him, are you a friend of his?”

“Uh, yeah sure”. He’s nerves make him lie to the nurse but she’s too busy reading a crime novel to pay much attention to his fidgeting.

-

“Doctor Barnes? Your ten o’clock called to say she’s running late but your friend Sam’s here to see you”. Maria announces and then leaves, while Sam enters the office.

“My friend Sam? I don’t- oh, hi”.

“Hi”. Sam stands next to the door awkwardly.

“So, you work at Nick’s Diner?”

“What? How did you-”

“Your uniform. Looks a lot like Y/N’s”.

“Right, yeah. Listen, I know this might seem weird and maybe it isn’t my place but-” Sam sighs, struggling to find the right words while Bucky eyes him, also nervous. A tall, muscular dude comes into his office, obviously there to talk about Y/N, he’s a little intimidated.

“Y/N’s one of my best friends. We’ve been there for each other since high school, I’ve seen her at her happiest and at her most miserable, and right now she is miserable. We don’t know why and she totally closed off and won’t let anyone in, which is not like her at all, so, if you know anything, please tell me. The girls say she was fine when they left her with you and when they got back she was freaking out. Did you have anything to do with it?”

“Well, I don’t-”

“Please man, I know we don’t know each other, but I need you to be honest”.

Bucky lets out a breath he was holding and sits on top of his desk. He looks defeated and even though Sam doesn’t know much about him he can tell, Bucky looks as miserable as Y/N.

“Yeah something happened”. Bucky looks down at his shoes.

“And?”

“And she said it was a bad idea. A mistake. I offered to help her out with the hospital bill and she accepted”.

“She did? Huh”:

“Yeah but then we kissed and I made things awkward, then she freaked out and told me to forget it, said she could pay her own bills and didn’t need anybody, called the nurses to tell ‘em she wanted to be discharged and took off”.

Sam could hear the pain in his voice but didn’t say anything.

“She’s important to me and I just wanted to let her know but I understand how it can be difficult for her to trust me”.

“Well, tell her that”.

“Nah, I think it’s best for me to just give her some space”.

“No, dude. Space is overrated, she needs to hear this from you. Hey man, I can tell you’re a decent guy. Nicer than Quentin for sure, and I can also tell you care about Y/N, she’s a tough gal and she can very well manage on her own, but I know she cares about you too. And if no one of you morons will take the first step toward something real and good, you’re gonna regret it”.

Bucky let out a laugh and crosses his arms over his chest.

“No ofense, but you’re both pretty stupid”. Sam smiles at him.

“Thanks”.

“Well, are you gonna talk to her?”

“Yeah, I’ll stop by the diner later tonight”.

“Great then! My job here is done. Good luck and don’t let her scare you away, underneath the tough surface lies a soft cheeseball who actually likes you back, she just needs a little push”.

“Thank you-”

“Sam, Wilson”.

“Bucky”.

They shake hands and Sam leaves. Bucky feels a weight lift off his chest and the small hope of seeing Y/N again begins to overflow his mind with memories of her smile, the shape of her hands and the smell of sugar and butter. He has something to look forward to today and that’s such a relief for him. 

He’s spent the last couple of weeks moping around the hospital, counting the days on the calendar for Y/N’s next appointment which isn’t for another four weeks. But now he’s giddy and excited cause that wait has shortened and he’ll see her in just a few hours. ‘Should I bring her flowers?’, he thinks. ‘No, I haven’t asked what her favorite flowers are yet’. He’ll think of something. He’ll make things right and get his girl tonight. His girl. 

-

chapter 9: you matter to me

[flowerslut]

DAY ONE: HUMAN/VAMPIRE  Rated: T for language Words: 2,824

A/N: It’s day one and I’m already cheating.

Fully kidding. It’s entirely on-theme. It just so happens to be the first chapter of the brain-worm that dug itself into my skull a couple of weeks ago. The human Jasper/vampire Alice fit that I never thought I’d write. Enjoy the drama.

EDGE OF IT ALL

With a deep breath he inhaled steadily, closing his eyes as he let the cigarette calm him. Upon his exhale he opened his eyes, watching as the smoke mingled with his own breath, both evaporating in the cold air. The rain fell hard around him as he leaned up against the wet bark of the tree.

He wasn’t entirely out of the way of the constant downpour; his clothes were dampened with a fine layer of rainwater. But the slight cover that the canopy of trees provided him with was the best amount of protection he was going to get out there. He ignored the shiver that fought it’s way free and pulled his jacket tighter around him.

It was bad enough that he’d cut class, but now there was no way he’d be able to return in time for sixth period. And even if he did—if he stomped out his cigarette and rushed back to the math and sciences building—Ms. Sanborn would see his drenched state, smell the smoke on his clothes and send him straight to the office. He didn’t want them to call Wilson any more than he was sure the man wanted to be interrupted on a work day.

At the breakfast table he’d pleaded with Jasper to not cause any trouble today; his foster father had an important meeting with the nurses under his charge at the clinic today. The portly man wasn’t a nurse himself—administrative duties had been his calling, apparently—but sometimes the man spoke with an air that made Jasper wonder if the guy really thought he was as important as the health care providers that actually treated patients.

It annoyed Jasper on a good day, but today it had been borderline intolerable.

He’d tried, at least. He’d stuck it out until lunch period and then that annoying fuck Colson just had to make some remark in passing that it was a good thing college applications charged a fee, saying it ‘weeded out the dumbasses whose parents couldn’t afford school anyway.’ 

Jasper hadn’t even hit the guy, even after the snob had pointedly eyed Jasper as they walked by the corner of the lunch room he typically occupied. He hadn’t even said anything in reply to the remark! Really, it was a testament to some sort of self-control Jasper had been scavenging together over the past ten months at the tiny school. The fact that he hadn’t ended the day suspended should be seen as a gift to Wilson.

And truly he wasn’t hurting anyone in skipping class. He was failing pre-calc anyways. And then after that was art. Which was so easy he could probably skip the rest of the school year and still score at least a B.

That was one of the plus sides to a school (and a town) as small as Forks. Back in Oakland—and even in Seattle, although he’d only been there for a month and a half—the school resource officer would’ve been out, scouring the grounds for him by now. Here, there weren’t even metal detectors by the doors. It was bizarre in the most liberating of ways.

Not that he brought his knife to school anymore anyways. Wilson and Meg had begged him to leave it in his room. He should’ve found himself grateful that they didn’t confiscate it from him fully.

“If it helps him feel safe, it’s fine,” he’d overheard his foster mother, Meg, explaining to her conservative husband a few weeks after he’d arrived.

“He has a history of violence,” his foster father had growled back, not even attempting to be quiet. Jasper hadn’t felt bad about listening in when there wasn’t much of an attempt at subtlety.

“Violence when threatened,” he could almost picture Meg rolling her eyes, dismissing her husband’s valid concerns the way she often did. The sound of a cabinet opening and closing had given Jasper all he context clues he needed, and when he’d heard the pop of a bottle he just knew that she was about to down her nightly bottle of wine. “What’s going to threaten him out here? The rain? A wandering coyote? Relax, Wil.”

They weren’t the best placement he’d been given, in Jasper’s opinion. But they were far from the worst.

Tugging his damp sleeves further down his arms Jasper reached to his back pocket and retrieved another cigarette from the carton. He’d already told himself that his previous one would be his last one of the day, but then he’d realized that there was no way he was going to make it back to school. Might as well light up a couple more.

When he started flicking his lighter, he swore loudly when a thick raindrop fell through the canopy and perfectly into the lighter’s opening, extinguishing the flame he’d just ignited. He flicked it several times after that, swearing again when the stupid thing refused to even spark. Out of frustration he let the unlit cigarette fall from his lips, tossing the now-useless lighter deep into the woods.

Great. Just fucking perfect. He did have a shift at the new convenience store in town tomorrow, meaning he’d be able to snag a few more lighters before he clocked out, but that felt too far away.

Leaning his head back against he tree he thought to himself, attempting to come up with a decent enough excuse to get Wilson off of his back tonight. No doubt the school had already called both the house phone as well as his and Meg’s cell phones. The fact that his own shitty prepaid phone hadn’t rung yet was surprising. Usually Wilson liked to let Jasper know how disappointed he was in him the instant said disappointment struck the man.

His daydreams were cut short when suddenly something small came flying at him, hitting him square in the chest too quickly for him to dodge.

“Oof,” Jasper leaned forward, his hands moving to grab at his chest. He was caught so off guard that he had no idea what had even struck him, but whatever it was had been moving so fast that Jasper wasn’t entirely sure he wasn’t bleeding beneath his shirt. The projectile had felt small and metal.

For half of a second Jasper thought that maybe he was shot, but quickly he dismissed the thought. He hadn’t heard a peep and besides, he’d learned from others exactly what being shot felt like, and this feeling—while still acutely painful—didn’t compare.

“Sorry!” A woman’s voice called from somewhere high up in the canopy, causing Jasper to almost jump out of his own skin. His head quickly lifted, searching for the source of the words. “I didn’t mean to throw that so hard!”

Who the fuck…?

It was there, on the ground in front of him, that he saw it: his broken, red lighter. The one he’d tossed far into the forest barely minutes before.

Someone else was out here with him, and she had an arm that would put most major league baseball players to shame.

Her voice was high, almost bell-like with her apology. It wasn’t a voice Jasper recognized as he wracked his brain, trying to place it with a face he knew from school.

“What—where are you?” He called out, hand still against his chest as he stepped out from the cover of the trees and lifted his eyes to the canopy once more. Her voice sounded impossibly high up. There was no way someone could climb any of these trees without a ladder, he realized as he blinked up into the oncoming rain.

Then, a blur of movement as something—no, someone—fell from high above, landing only feet away from him.

“Jesus Christ!” He screamed, unable to help himself as he stumbled back a few steps. With one arm half-way outstretched, he didn’t have time to stumble back toward the girl—holy shit she’d jumped fucking hell there’s no way she survived that these trees are massive oh god some girl just fucking killed herself in front of him—he found himself stunned into silence when his eyes fell upon the girl standing before him, completely unharmed.

“Hi!” She greeted cheerily, smiling widely up at him.

Jasper wondered if she’d thrown something else at him, because suddenly all the air left his lungs and he was stuck there motionless, staring at the girl in front of him.

She was beautiful. Almost otherworldly so. Her hair was cropped short around her face, longer strands sticking to her pale cheeks due to the rain. Her clothes were ill-fitting—and were those holes in the sweater that almost swallowed her slight frame whole?—and she was completely barefoot.

Not to mention her eyes were a bright, vivid red.

The instant his eyes landed on hers he took an involuntary step backward. Sure, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen in his entire eighteen years on this planet, but that one glance into her own gaze broke whatever trance she’d placed him in and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck begin to raise.

It wasn’t that he’d never seen anyone wear colored lenses before. But this crossed over from weird to just plain eerie with the rest of her appearance alone.

Her face crumbled as he took another step backwards. “No! It’s okay! I’m not going to hurt you, I—” but as she inhaled her face was suddenly pained, and in the blink of an eye she was suddenly fifty yards away, just barely visible across the clearing.

Moving slowly, Jasper felt his heart rate begin to skyrocket as he took another step backward. He had to move. He had to find his bag. He had to find his shit now and get the fuck out of there before—

“No!” And in another blink she was behind him, standing just between him and his ratty old backpack. “Please, I’m sorry. I know I’m going about this all wrong but—”

“What the fuck are—” it was too easy to slip on the wet leaves beneath his feet, and as Jasper landed on his ass in a puddle he couldn’t help but scurry backward any way he could. He was either losing his goddamn mind, or he was about to die. Maybe both. “Get—get away from me!” He yelled, swatting a hand ahead of him, feeling very much like a fool. Like a caveman swinging a torch toward a lion; a silly, feeble motion.

“No, Jasper, shh,” her eyes were wide then, and when she lifted her hands up toward him, as if trying to calm a wild animal, her sleeves fell backward. Jasper’s eyes locked onto the blood beneath her fingernails and in that moment he was certain he was going to die.

He stopped attempting to escape in that moment. “How the fuck do you know my name?” He demanded of the girl—the demon—the thing—as he worked to keep his voice even. She didn’t need to know that he was scared out of his wits. Truthfully, she definitely already knew it. After all he was on his ass in the middle of a puddle, not too far from wetting himself if he were being entirely honest.

He knew he’d fight his way back to the school if he had to, but somehow the idea of defending himself against this tiny girl seemed like a laughable idea.

“I’m messing this up so bad. No, no, no.” Then, her eyes flickered back toward where the school was. Jasper followed her gaze, but when he lifted his eyes back up, she was gone.

“Hello?” He called out, his voice shaking as he waited for her to reappear somewhere else around him.

He nearly pissed his pants when he turned his head back toward the school and Edward Cullen was standing there, staring out into the clearing with his weird, wide, golden eyes. Coming up behind him was none other than his brother, Emmett.

“Did you see that?” Jasper blurted out, desperate to know that he wasn’t crazy, that the Cullen boys had seen the demon girl, too.

Edward looked at him strangely then, and Jasper couldn’t help but think that the younger boy was seeing straight through him. But when the bronze-haired Cullen shrugged, looking around the clearing, as if confused, Jasper felt his heart sink. “See what?”

“You good man?” Emmett asked, jogging up to where Jasper was laying in the mud. The oldest Cullen had always been the nicest out of all of them. Not that the others were mean, but they certainly weren’t the friendliest group of people.

He’d known who they were even before he’d even started his first day. Meg and Wilson had told him all about the Cullen siblings and the Hale girls before he’d started. “They’re foster kids, too. Good kids. Maybe try hanging out with them!”

As if it would be a normal thing to do; approach the only other outcasts in the school and form what? A friendship? An alliance of weirdos? Jasper had never attempted to even talk to them.

Emmett reached down toward Jasper and he grabbed the offered hand firmly, letting the larger boy pull him up onto his feet.

Jasper frowned as Emmett released his grip. If his hands were that cold then Jasper’s had to be far worse. It was then that he was reminded just how freezing it was outside, as the rain continued to pour down on them, unrelenting. “What happened?” The dark-haired guy asked, also surveying the area with careful eyes.

“I—” But Jasper didn’t want to sound like a complete lunatic and he also had no idea how to describe what the fuck had just happened. “There was… a girl?”

“A girl?” Emmett raised an eyebrow, then his expression morphed and suddenly he looked like he was biting back a grin. “If Sanborn knew you were cutting class to hook up with a girl she’d have an aneurism.”

“I—that’s not—”

“Emmett,” Edward rolled his eyes, before turning back toward the school, “Come on.”

“What were you two doing out here?” Jasper flipped the script on them as quick as he could, hating how his face was probably bright red at the insinuation.

Emmett laughed, “Leaving early to drive this one to a doctor’s appointment,” he jutted a thumb over his shoulder toward his brother, “and we were nearly to the car when we swore we heard the sound of someone screaming.” He eyed Jasper pointedly, his eyes once more traveling around the forest. “Y’know there’s bears out here. You should be careful.”

Jasper snorted, reaching around and wiping wet leaves off his pants, then he skulked over to where he’d dropped his bag and picked it back up, flinging it over his shoulder. “There aren’t bears out here.”

“That you know about!” Emmett pointed a finger just as Edward cleared his throat, apparently tired of being in Jasper’s presence. This was what Jasper meant when he said Emmett was at least friendly. His siblings, not so much. 

“Let’s go, Emmett.” If Edward had started tapping his foot Jasper wouldn’t have been surprised. He reminded Jasper of some stuck-up mom sick of waiting in line at an overcrowded Starbucks.

(Yet another normal, regular thing Forks didn’t even have.)

“Need a lift?” Emmett offered, ignoring his brother and turning fully toward Jasper. “I doubt you’re going back to class and we drive right by your street anyways.” Then he paused, “You live off Hill, right?”

Jasper nodded. “Actually, yeah. If you don’t mind.” Truthfully Jasper didn’t want to spend one more second in these woods, especially if that demon girl was going to show up again. As he turned to follow Emmett his eyes met Edward’s glare. “What?”

Edward didn’t say anything, but he also didn’t move. So when Emmett strode right past him, Jasper close behind, he couldn’t help but think to himself, what the fuck is your problem? as he walked by. But it wasn’t until he and Emmett were several strides away that Jasper swore he heard something.

A growl of some sort, coming from where Edward was still standing, facing the clearing. Jasper turned to look, suddenly wondering what the hell that noise was, when Emmett reached out and grabbed the blond’s shoulder.

“Watch out,” he said, just as Jasper stumbled across an over-grown root.

Catching himself he was thankful for Emmett’s outstretched arm. Clinging to it, he steadied himself, feeling like an idiot as he quietly thanked the guy. When Jasper finally turned his head, Edward was already following after them, his expression severe.

But even as they made it to the car, Jasper pulling his hood up over his head to prevent any of the teachers from recognizing him walking with the Cullen boys, Jasper couldn’t help but wonder what that noise was.

And who that girl was.

[tenglows]

30 + 45, enemies 2 lovers & jaemin? 💘

[ 30: could we pretend that we're in love? ] + [ 45: listen, it's for science ] i got a little carried away with this one, i loved the plot so much i’m even considering writing a second part

the prompts

you had never liked jaemin, so when he yanked your arm at school's dismissal time, to say you were confused was an understanding.

“what do you want?”

“i need your help”

“care to explain why would i help you?” your words were harsh as you glowered at the boy.

you had never really given importance to jaemin's existence before. he was just another one of those guys that was on the verge of being the bad boy. arriving late to all of his classes -that is if he even cared to arrive-, grades pulled down by the ground, and an attitude who had teachers pulling their hair.

that was until you got partened up with him for a project. you didn't mind at first, figuring you would simply be nice to him. you knew he didn't have much friends, but he didn't seem like a bad person. you would make sure to be kind and get the task done. but when the time came, you honestly didn't have the chance to find jaemin's personality out. he never took interest in the project nor in holding a conversation with you. it was a known fact that he never did the school work, but this was a project that held the majority of the percentage for your final grade, so you thought he would do this part.

he didn't. and you both failed, even with your pleadings to the teacher. it was the first time in your life you didn't pass, and it wasn't even your fault. you hated jaemin ever since.

“could we pretend that we're in love?” he spoke quickly, and you had to had heard wrong.

“what?” you couldn't be more baffled, and he could see it in your face. your mouth was slightly open and your eyes big as if they were about to come off.

“listen” he sighed. his usual charm wasn't shining through, he didn't look badass or tough. he was fidgeting with his fingers, and couldn't meet your gaze. “my parents keep pressuring me to find a girlfriend and i was figuring... you are smart and all- i think they'd like you. and they would leave me alone once and for all”

he was kidding. he had to be.

“what?” you repeated, laughing out loud, waiting for him to crack the joke. but he didn't. “are you serious?”

he nodded. by the way he still looked at everywhere but your eyes you could see he did mean it.

“it would be only a dinner. for them to like, meet you. that's all”

“and what’s in it for me?”

“i'll do anything. i'll do your homework, tell the teacher the project thing was my fault, i'll pay you, heck whatever you want. please”

you wondered why this was making jaemin so desperate. the usually collected jaemin. you also wondered if it really bothered you. yeah, you didn't exactly felt like giving out favors to him, but really, it wouldn't be much trouble. it was better than doing his homework, after all.

“only a dinner”.

you were standing in front of jaemin's door at the moment, him hesitating to come in just as you were. he was nervous.

“remind me again why i'm doing this” you breathed out.

“listen, it's for science. do it for our project alright?”

“not really since we already failed that one” he groaned at your remark.

“y/n, not now”

“you know, if you had asked me to do this at that time i would have still done it. and i don't understand why you had to be selfish about the project. if you want to ruin your life that’s fine by me, just don’t take me down with you”

“seriously, y/n”

you were interrupted by the door opening, a grown woman with a teethy smile coming into view.

“jaemin! y/n! come in” she gave you both a big hug and guided you towards the house.

sitting at the table, you felt bad. jaemin's parents were so excited to have you, asking lots of questions and being really generous. you didn't enjoy lying to them.

“how was school, jaemin?” his dad asked as he passed you the mashed potatoes. jaemin cleared his throat.

“it was good. they made me captain of the team” he smiled excitedly. you had heard around that the boy was really good at football, but the idea of him having something he enjoyed at school seemed impossible. it was sort of relieving that it was true, though.

“well, i always tell jaemin sports aren't gonna get him anywhere. am i right y/n?” the man looks at you with expectant eyes and a laugh that pierced through your ears. you peeked at jaemin, who had darted his eyes towards his plate.

“i think you will lead my son into the right path. he tells me you're very smart, i heard you won the maths olympics?”

the rest of the meal carried out the same way, jaemin's parents asking about all your accomplishments and future plans while he just ate in silence.

after helping his mom clear the table, she told you to leave the rest to her and find jaemin, who had gone to the backyard. he was sitting on the tree trunk, eyes lost and unfocused.

you sat down next to him. you wanted to say something, but had no idea which words to pick.

“you look just like your mom” he nodded, still paying attention to the ground.

“i told you they'd like you”

“yeah, me or my mathematic skills” you tried joking, not really knowing how to be around jaemin yet, but his soft laugh made you feel relieved.

he didn't say anything after that. but he noticed your squirming, so he looked at you, waiting for you to add something.

“i'm sorry about your parents” he brushed it off with a gesture.

“they've always been like that”

“have you tried talking to them?”

“they never listen” he took a deep breath. “that's why i thought that if i brought you home as my girlfriend, they'd be less disappointed in me”

“didn't you tell me they were pressuring you?”

“yeah, that was sort of a lie” he smiled again. “i just wanted to make them proud”

quiet fell upon you for a moment.

“you will when you become the best football player in history”

he looked at you and you shared some smiles, turning away almost instantly.

“you didn't have to do this, thank you. i can do that long ass essay mr.groff gave us if you like” you gave him a look, asking if he was the best option to do your homework. “i've actually already done it” he handed you his phone, showing the long google document. you were taken aback by how well the paper was written.

“jaemin, you could get an a with this” he shrugged. “why don't you ever do your assignments?”

“i guess people never expect anything from me, so i don't show them otherwise”

that was the first time you understood jaemin. it wasn't that he acted like that because he was lazy or a bad boy, it was nothing more that he felt like he had to fit the image everyone had of him. everyone treated him as if he was uncapable, so why even try to change the opinions everyone formed?

“i’ll walk you out” while you went over some possible replies in your head, he was faster.

“goodbye mrs, see you soon” you hugged the woman before following jaemin towards the door.

“don’t worry, you don’t have to come back ever again” he whispered and you giggled.

the next day, you showed up at jaemin’s football practice. you sat on the stands, watching him run behind the ball. he was good. he surely wasn’t named captain for no reason.

when practice had ended, you went down the stairs, standing in front of the boy until he noticed you. he looked at you in shock, staring at the notebooks of different colors that your arms were holding.

“what are you doing here?” his voice was sweet.

“we’re going to your house to revise for the upcoming exams” he took a pause, biting into his cheek. a small grin creeping up on his face.

“really?”

“your mom told me she’d bake cookies the next time i came round after all, so”

“okay, let’s go” he tilted his head towards the field exit, leading the way.

he knew he was going to be the one opening the door to for you today. he knew he was about to let you in in more ways than one.

[frywen-bumbles]

The Way to a Man’s Heart Goes Through His... Cat? Ch3

AO3

As much as Jaskier adores the fact Roach seems to warm up to him, there's one thing he can't stand.

<I think the cat is planning to kill me>

   <why>

Jaskier snaps a picture where all that's visible are glowing eyes in the dark, staring down at him and sends it.

<She keeps staring at me> <And tries to sleep on my face> <And licks my hair!> <She won't let me drive her away> <help>

   <Maybe she secretly likes you>

<Then why won't she let me touch her?> <I have to hide under my blanket so she won't eat my hair>

   <yeah, i'm with Essi, you're on your own>

   <think of it as a free haircut>

<Firstly eww> <Secondly how can you be so cruel> <Have you no mercy for my luscious locks???>

   <absolutely none>

<screaming emoji> <you are horrible friends>

   <good night Jaskier try not to die>

   <good dying>

<when you don't hear about me in the morning you will regret those were your last words to me>

   <your thesis supervisor will drag you back from the grave to finish your thesis>

<don't remind me I'm trying to sleep!!!>

   <sleep tight don't let the type errors bite>

<I hate both of you>

   <kissy face emojis>

   <zzz>

The morning routine is something Jaskier has learned to both love and hate. His alarm rings at 8 like every morning and like possessed Roach jumps on top of him and screams.

"Mmmm yeah, I'm awake, Roach..." Jaskier mumbles and tries to sleep just one more minute. Roach is having none of it. She runs over him, to the door and screams bloody murder and jumps on top of him again.

"Please... Roach... just two... minutes..." Jaskier tries to bury his head under the blankets but Roach walks on top of him and screams again.

"Ugh... you're heavy... Okay, okay, I'm getting up. See Roach, I'm getting up..."

He walks downstairs to feed Roach who keeps screaming and thrilling until her bowl is full and walks back up to brush his teeth.

Roach doesn't take long until she demands to be let in the bathroom, scratching and meowing making her demands known.

"One of these mornings I will get to brush my teeth in peace," Jaskier sighs as Roach curls herself into the sink. This is not one of those mornings.

He checks his phone over morning coffee and is surprised to find a message from Fiona so early.

   <Help me out>

<Sure, swallow. What do you need?>

Fiona sends him a picture of her math assignment.

<What is it you're having trouble with?>

   <I don't understand anything.>    <I asked uncle L but he was no help.>    <I usually ask uncle E but he's not here>    <What do i do?>

Jaskier looks at the math over and starts to explain it in detail. It's somehow endearing how much trust Fiona puts in him and he does not want to ruin it for her. Not that third-grade mathematics is hard, he suspects 'uncle L' just isn't that good at explaining things.

He can't help but venture to reread a different conversation entirely while he waits for Fiona to finish.

A picture of Cat Dad and Fiona. And actual texts after it.

   <how is roach>

<She's very fine! Quite vocal about what she wants but still lovely!>

   <good>    <let her outside>    <she enjoys it>

And on another day:

   <thank you for the pictures>

Then another selfie with Cat Dad and Fiona, this time taken by Cat Dad. He is very bad at taking selfies, but somehow even that is endearing, despite the man looking like he's a member of a biker gang with the beard and all of the black leather. When he got the first picture, he hadn't even noticed. He had been too distracted by... other things. Jaskier really shouldn't feel this giddy just looking at a picture. Just rereading the texts. But he can't help himself.

   <i like seeing roach happy>

The man is clearly crazy about his cat. And what's hotter than a person who loves their pets to the moon and back. Nothing, if you ask Jaskier.

<I'm glad you like the pictures! Like I told you, I'll send one or two every day!>

   <tell me before you run out of cat food>    <i know a person at a pet store>    <dont feed her too many treats>

<I won't, I promise>

What Jaskier doesn't tell is feeding the cat cheese every single day to get her brushed. Little treats never hurt anyone.

Fiona sends him a picture of finished assignments.

<Very good! You did it on your own, I'm very proud of you!>

   <Thank you, MrJ!!>

Jaskier thinks he will melt. While being a tutor wasn't in his job description he doesn't really mind. To him, it's evident what Fiona wants most of all is company and support and he's happy to provide. The family she's staying with is trying their best, Jaskier is sure of it. But from what Jaskier gathers through Fiona's texts, they don't seem to have enough time to look through her school work as much as she wishes they would.

How can two people he's never even met manage to occupy most of he's thoughts?

***

Jaskier has barely put the first forkful of instant ramen in his mouth when he hears the door open.

"Geralt, it's me!"

Jaskier scrambles to meet whoever just walked through the locked door using their own key, what the fuck.

"H-hello...?" he manages to greet through a mouth full of food before he even sees who it is.

Jaskier is not one to be intimidated nor is he one to be at loss for words.

Somehow, the woman in front of him manages to do both. She's gorgeous, her raven hair falling in curls over her shoulders, violet eyes staring straight at him like he's a piece of cheap meat and suddenly Jaskier is keenly aware of wearing nothing but pants and an undershirt, his hair a ruffled mess, hands covered in ink, pencil and pen marks.

"You're one of those... trainees. Melitele forbid, what sort of trash does Geralt drag in here, why aren't you with the old wolf?"

Jaskier opens his mouth to answer but is immediately interrupted.

"No, don't answer that. Where is Geralt, I need to talk to him."

"I... um..." Jaskier gets the feeling this is a person who gets what she wants. She quirks an eyebrow at him expecting an answer and when none come she sighs, a dramatic gesture Jaskier is not sure he could perform better even if he tried.

"Where. Is. Geralt?" she asks like he's an idiot and Jaskier things at this moment he really is.

"He, um... is not here?" Jaskier tries his best. He does. But something about the woman, no matter how beautiful she is, radiates power, like she could crush him without even blinking an eye.

The woman eyes him, up and down and glances behind him to the kitchen. And smiles. It's a small amused quirk of her lips, one that makes Jaskier spin around immediately only to spot Roach sitting on top of his papers, meticulously dropping every single pen to the floor.

"Roach, no!"

Roach meows and jumps down from the table with a mrrrp. She trots to the woman and rubs herself against her legs before she jumps up to her scratching post to stare at them.

Jaskier kneels to collect his pens, muttering curses under his breath.

"You know Roach."

"Um, yeah?" Jaskier mutters as he crawls deeper under the table to reach the pens.

"Soooo, witchers, huh? Interesting topic of research."

Jaskier hits his head on the table.

"Yeah... yeah I. I know it's not the most conventional one but I do find it quite fascinating especially when you look at all of the historical songs..." Jaskier crawls from underneath the table and is met with the woman standing next to him and suddenly he's keenly aware of being in his underwear on his knees on the floor in front of one of the most beautiful women he's ever seen.

He blushes.

He's sure he's never blushed as much as he is right at this moment and he honestly wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole.

"You're not one of the trainees," the woman says eyeing him, amusement still lingering on her lips.

"No, I'm not," Jaskier admits and tries to get to his feet in a somewhat dignified way. He fails and all of his pens scatter to the floor again. "Fuck..."

"And who are you then?"

"I'm the cat-sitter. Julian." Jaskier gives himself a mental slap. He is an adult person why does he introduce himself like a toddler? "Can I please go put my trousers on?" he pleads. Maybe clothed he'll have a chance to be on equal grounds with the woman.

"Sure."

A few minutes later he comes back down, fully clothed this time, to find the woman sitting by the table and reading his scribbles.

"Um, hello?" Jaskier greets the woman again. She looks up but does nothing to stand up to greet him in return. "Julian Pancratz, the cat-sitter." Jaskier extends his hand to her and she takes it.

"I'm Yen. Geralt is my-... we're... friends. Now, where has that grumpy bastard gone?" The woman - Yen answers and looks at him expecting an answer immediately.

"I honestly don't know, he only told me it's work-related. I've never even met him. I was recommended by a friend of his who is also a client of mine. He occasionally answers the texts I send him, maybe you could try to reach him by phone?"

"He answers your texts? What did you do, enchant him?" Yen sounds honestly baffled and it makes Jaskier feel bad. She obviously has some sort of history with the Cat Dad so the least he could do is answer her.

"He only answers every now and then. I don't think it was even his idea to reply."

Yen smiles, a true smile this time, not just an amused quirk of lips, "You're probably right." She picks up one of the papers again and taps it, "Ever met a real witcher?"

"No, I haven't. I've just always found the stories interesting... I have plans for real research for my doctoral thesis as soon as I manage to finish my master's degree, I just need to get around to figuring out... well pretty much everything outside of the basic structure. I already know all of the material by heart, it's just... just look at this, how can someone write something so vile about people who work to keep us safe from monsters? And this here..." Jaskier rummages through the piles of papers and pushes the ones he meant on Yen's hands, not waiting for her to answer. "And look, I even came up with this account of someone killing a witcher after he had finished a job for them, just the audacity of it all!" He glances up at Yen, suddenly keenly aware he is probably either boring her or making her uncomfortable with all of this talk about monsters and monster hunters. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't bore you with this..." He reaches to take the papers from Yen's hands but she holds them out of his reach.

"No, you're not boring me at all. Please, tell me more about your current paper?"

Yen proves to be a far better company than Jaskier first thought. At the end of their discussion and a few cups of tea later, Yen turns the conversation back to him.

"Why do you live here? Wouldn't it be easier to write in your own place?"

"Oh, you know, roommates..." Jaskier mumbles, avoiding Yen's eyes. No way in hell is he going to tell a complete stranger he sleeps in his friends' sofas and in the musicology society's guild room at the uni when he can't find anyone to room him between jobs. His parents already think him a failure, no need to add a complete stranger to the mix.

"Hmm," Yen agrees and stands up. "I feel I have held you long enough. Good luck with your thesis. Here is my number, call me if you get into any trouble while you're staying here." Yen scribbles a phone number on the edge of one paper with a bright red pen she picks up from the floor.

"Um... what trouble?" Jaskier asks, suddenly wary. "I have only told one person the address like was the deal? I haven't told them anything else, I'm not in danger, right? This isn't some mob bosses hideout or something? I'm in trouble, aren't I? Melitele's tits, Essi will kill me..."

"Calm down, no trouble. Just... if anything comes up, like bills or something and you can't reach Geralt. He can be unreachable for days." Yen smiles at him, an uneasy smile, not quite reaching her eyes.

"Oh, okay, yeah, that's. That's good..." Jaskier feels so stupid. Not only has he managed to be half-naked while Yen walked in, but now he has also made a complete ass out of himself.

"Take care of Roach," Yen says as a goodbye and walks out of the door. Jaskier rushes to say goodbye but when he reaches the door, she's already gone.

Come night Jaskier is surprised how much he has managed to work on his thesis. Talking about it with someone made writing so much easier, even when most of the talk was him ranting about the unfair treatment of witchers which will never end up in the final paper.

He grabs something to eat before bed and spots Roach. She sits facing the front door, waiting for someone to walk through it.

It breaks Jaskier's heart.

Roach has done it every night, giving up only after Jaskier has gone to bed to crawl on the other side of the bed to stare at him.

Jaskier snaps a picture of Roach and sends it despite the late hour.

<Roach misses you>

Jaskier doesn't expect an answer.

   <tell her im sorry and i love her>

That. That is too cute. Jaskier can't handle it, he just can't.

"Roach, your owner is a big old sap and he wanted me to tell you he's sorry and he loves you, okay?" Jaskier tells her from a respectable distance away. Roach looks at him and meows pitifully.

"I know, girl. I'm sure he misses you as much as you miss him. Come on now, I'm going to bed, you can come and stare at me until I fall asleep."

[psychovigilantewrites]

Chapter 11 - Fireworks/Gunpowder

Pairing: Jason Todd/ Reader

Genre:Smut

Wordcount: 10,348

A/N: Hey guys! GOD I've been looking forward to write this chapter ever since I first published this fic a year ago, and I took my time with it, and tried to perfect it as best as I could according to my current capabilities. I hope you guys like it! Please leave your thoughts! I’d love to hear what you guys think of it!

TW: sexual content, mental breakdowns

Masterlist

“I’m sorry I’m late,” you breathed out before Jason could even open his mouth, “I would say that school held me back, but actually I lost track of time.”

You wanted to minimize your lying to him, since you had to hide a huge part of yourself from him already.

“That’s alright, sweetheart,” he grinned at you.

You sat down opposite him at the cafe. The table Jason had chosen was one in the back, away from the large glass walls up front with the view of the street.

Jason was wearing a tight black t-shirt that day and a black leather jacket over it. The leather immediately made you think of Red Hood, but you tried to shove that thought away. It was rude to think of another man while you were with someone you were casually dating, after all.

“Do you want me to get you anything?” he asked, gesturing to the counter.

“That’s alright, I’ll go get something myself,” you made to get up.

“Now what kind of gentleman would I be if I let you order your own drink?” he stopped you, flashing you a lopsided smile, “Tell me what you usually get, I’ll go and order it for you. Please?”

He looked at you with his pleading blue eyes, which made you give in almost instantly.

“Alright,” you conceded, “I’ll just have a black coffee, then. Thank you.”

“One black coffee comin’ right up,” he winked, heading to the counter.

You watched him as he walked over, noticing the subtle glances some women from the other tables were giving him. He stood out mainly because of his build, but you thought that his face was your favourite part of him.

You didn’t mean to be shallow, of course. He was kind, funny, and charming as well. And as you just found out, a gentleman.

He came back with your coffee, and you thanked him again.

“Firstly, Jason,” you began, “I’m sorry for replying you so late. Two days late, to be exact.”

“No, that’s alright,” he shrugged it off, “I’m sure you had a good reason.”

“I was going through some… stuff,” you cringed at your own excuse.

“Stuff?” he smirked.

“And things,” you added, “Personal things. Family things. You get me?”

“Sure,” he acknowledged, “Like I said, I’m sure you had your reasons. But, if you want to talk about it, you know I wouldn’t mind lending you an ear.”

“I feel like I’ve been dumping too much on you,” you shook your head, “Like that time at the park too, god. It was so embarrassing.”

“One, that was over a month ago,” he reminded you, “And two, it wasn’t. Don’t be afraid to express yourself with me.”

He looked at you with an intensity you couldn’t tear your eyes away from.

“All of yourself,” he added, “I won’t judge.”

You were taken aback at his sudden seriousness. But when he reached his hand out to gently rest on yours, for some reason, you expected his hands to feel like the smooth cold leather of the gloves Red Hood wore.

You willed your thoughts to stay on the man in front of you.

“Thank you,” you said, “But this time it’s not something I should be discussing with anyone. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he answered, “It’s up to you if you want to tell me or not. All I’m saying is that if you need to talk to anyone, I’m here.”

You smiled at him in thanks.

“ Also,” he added, “You were doing some MMA?”

He lifted your hand closer to inspected your bruised knuckles.

“No,” you gave a shaky laugh, “Since I was going through some things, I needed to find an outlet. So I went berserk on a punching bag.”

It was the closest and most honest thing you could say to him.

“I see,” he chuckled and gave you a knowing look, something you thought was odd. You hadn’t missed the way he was smirking the whole time you were there.

“I’m sorry,” you hesitated, “But am I missing something here?”

“What?” he frowned.

“I feel like you know something I don’t,” you tried to explain, “Like there’s an inside joke I’m not getting.”

“Why would you think that?” he leaned forward and smiled suspiciously.

“See, you’re doing it again!” you laughed.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, princess,” he grinned, “This is how I always look.”

“Huh,” you narrowed your eyes playfully at him.

“Did I mention how beautiful you look today?” he complimented.

“Way to change the subject,” you chuckled, “But thank you. I put in effort whenever I know I’m seeing you.”

You blushed the minute you realised what you just said.

“Uh- I meant-” you tried to backtrack.

“Too late to go back on your words now, sweetheart,” he chortled, “That’s okay, I kind of make an effort when I know I’ll be seeing you as well.”

“Oh, really?” you doubted. You thought he just naturally looked good all the time, which includes the first day you bumped into him in the library.

The library.

Jerome Miller.

Blood. Adrenaline rush. Excitement. Guilt.

You pushed it all away for now and tune back into your conversation.

“Oh, you have no idea,” his eyes suddenly darkened, his smile gone.

But within an instant, he gave you his smug grin again.

He loved to tease you.

“You know,” you started, “You never told me your last name. Is there something you’re hiding from me?”

“No, you just never asked,” he replied, “It’s Haywood.”

“Jason Haywood,” you tried, “Has a ring to it, don’t you think?”

“I never cared much for it,” he shrugged, “My first name is extremely common. My last? Nothing special. Nothing like Wayne.”

“Please, it’s all just legal anyway,” you waved your hand, “Not like I’m a Wayne by blood.”

“Still, Bruce Wayne is your father,” he pointed out.

“Don’t say that too loud,” you shushed him, “I’m not at the point where people would recognize me in the streets, but one Google search and I’d have people taking pictures of the both of us and sell it to the tabloid papers.”

“Ah, yes, I can see the headlines already,” he joked, “Billionaire Bruce Wayne’s daughter seen with a nobody. You wouldn’t believe number five!”

“A newspaper headline isn’t clickbait, Jason,” you giggled. You were impressed. Only a few months ago, he didn’t know what Instagram was.

“I’m real proud of you, you know,” he suddenly told you, making another 180 turn in subject. He looked at you with a curious glint in his eye.

“For what?” you asked, sipping on your coffee.

���For being you,” he gave you a cryptic answer.

You raised an eyebrow in question.

“You don’t try to hide yourself from me,” he elaborated, “You cry in front of me, laugh in front of me, joke with me, and you let your inhibitions go when you’re with me.”

Your eyes widen at the last one, knowing what he was implying.

“ As a Wayne,” he continued, “I’m sure you need to lie and smile to keep up appearances. But you’re yourself with me. Thank you.”

You blushed as your heart melted at his words. This was one of the reasons you liked him. He was a smooth talker, charming you with random bursts of surprisingly well thought insight.

“I don’t know what to say,” you tucked your hair behind your ear nervously.

“How about ‘Jason, I think you’re a sexy beast, and I’d totally tap that ass’,” he jestered.

“You see, I know you’re just joking, but I wouldn’t be if I were to say that to you,” you replied smugly.

Jason paused, narrowing his eyes at you.

“Someone learned how to flirt,” he smirked.

“I learned from the best,” you breathed.

You saw the way his eyes darted from yours, to your lips, and then back to your eyes again.

“My brother, actually,” you broke the moment on purpose.

He chuckled at your transition.

The hours went by as you talked and flirted with him, all the while still noticing how he was smirking the whole way, as if he knew something about you that you didn’t.

*** God, you turned Jason on so much.

It was obvious you were still messed up and shocked over your own actions, but when Jason saw your bruised knuckles, he almost popped a hard on right then and there in the crowded cafe.

He wanted so much to witness you beating the shit out of Jerome Miller. He could only imagine how your face and hands must have been covered in blood.

Jason never had a blood kink before this, but somehow the thought was so erotic to him, he would be lying if he didn’t go back and jerk off to that fantasy right after the visit to the hospital.

The only downside to all of this was that he was growing increasingly excited, which meant he was increasingly impatient. He found it extremely frustrating to have to keep lying to you. He just wanted you to figure everything out already so he could finally be direct.

So he could finally take you like he knew you wanted him to.

But since he was the king of the underground now, he had to focus on his work, and he was doing a fan-fucking-tastic job at it. He could guarantee with absolute confidence that Gotham’s underground had never been as organized before.

He wasn’t only controlling crime through fear, but he was providing small jobs to those who would have otherwise got involved with real bad shit that would hurt innocents.

Jason was Gotham’s fucking savior.

And he wore that red bat on his chest with pride.

Jason didn’t need you to be his Queen, but he wanted to.

Not because he craved you- but because it would be the last blow to Batman’s legacy.

At least, that’s what he was trying to convince himself.

*** The glaring red ink on your paper reminded you of the blood that you tried so hard to wash off.

You stared hard at the large, capital B written on your history test. It wasn’t your only B. You got a B minus for math, a B plus for biology and physics, and an A minus for chemistry, amongst other subjects.

You maintained a neutral face. You couldn’t let anyone around you read you.

“I guess I don’t need to ask what you got, huh Wayne?” Michelle Myers rolled her green eyes at you from her desk, flipping her auburn hair to the side.

“You’d be surprised, Michelle,” you smiled at her sweetly. You knew she always viewed you as competition when it came to academics, sports, and even social media follower count. You didn’t get why. You always thought she was prettier, more feminine than you. “I’m only human, you know.”

“So what you got?” Robert Laheigh cut in.

“A big fat B,” you sighed.

“Woah, a B? You?” Robert gasped dramatically.

“Way to rub it in, Rob,” you chuckled, “I guess I got distracted by some stuff.”

“Oh yes, it must be so hard to be you, daughter of the richest guy in Gotham,” Michelle snickered.

You looked at Michelle with a cold smile, and thought about wiping that smug look off her face by smashing her head onto the wooden desk.

“Hey, don’t be like that,” said the blond jock, “I’m sure whatever she’s going through is legit. You don’t know her life. And she did just get kidnapped.”

“Of course, Rob, how rude of me,” Michelle sneered at him, “I forgot how much you like to suck up to her.”

Rob was Michelle’s ex-boyfriend. He dumped her because he apparently started having feelings for another girl in class. Who the mysterious girl was, you didn’t know. But shortly after that, Michelle started to become more and more hostile towards you.

“It’s fine, Rob,” you assured him, “She’s right. I’ve really got no excuses.”

Besides the fact that you’ve been reliving the night you beat someone half to death for the past two weeks, slowly getting numb to the memory.

Besides the fact that Bruce had been acting suspiciously nice to you despite suspending your patrols for the next month until you got yourself together.

Besides the fact that Jason had been kind to you, beaming almost proudly ever since you saw each other at that cafe two weeks ago, but all you could think about when he happened to brush himself against you was how you craved Red Hood’s touch instead.

But Michelle was right, you neglected your studies and didn’t have any excuses.

Rob pursed his lips and walked over to your table, leaning down to you.

“Hang in there, okay?” he frowned in concern, “If you need to talk, about anything, I’m here for you.”

You flashed him a charming smile, “Of course, Rob. I appreciate it. Thank you.”

You saw his cheeks get red, and he straightened up, clearing his throat.

Right.

Now you know why Michelle Myers hated you so much.

***

Your gaze was unfocused, just looking outside the window of the car.

Michelle never got to you like that before. You usually ignored it and brushed her off. But suddenly you got so annoyed by her fucking face that you really wanted to mess it up.

“What’s wrong, my dear?” Alfred glanced at you from the rearview mirror of the sleek BMW, breaking your thoughts.

“Nothing, Alfred,” you smiled at him, “I got my papers back. I didn't do very well.”

“To maintain a balance is a difficult feat,” he said, “Your older brothers went through the same thing. Though, a teacher once complained that Master Todd’s grades were too perfect.”

You didn’t miss his subtle sad tone when he mentioned Todd. Oddly, it didn’t sound as sad as he usually did when he spoke of your predecessor.

But it didn’t change the fact that you really didn’t want to talk about Todd and how perfect his grades were.

You were silent the whole ride back.

“Master Bruce wishes to speak to you in the Cave,” Alfred informed you when you got out of the car. “I suggest you prepare yourself for his news.”

“What do you mean?” you frowned in question.

“It’s best if he explains,” Alfred gave you a tired smile. He looked like he hadn’t slept all night.

You shrugged and went inside, dumping your bag of books onto the sofa of the living room as you made your way to the grandfather’s clock to descend below. You were nervous. Maybe Bruce has decided to lift your suspension, or maybe Bruce has decided that he was better off without you as Robin.

Whatever it was, your heart beat in rhythm to your quick steps down the stairs.

You approached Bruce from behind, he was seated at his regular spot in front of the massive computer screens. This time though, instead of displaying an array of his cases, old articles,or his own notes, it was just blank.

You gulped. He was really going to ask you to quit wasn’t he?

“Hey, Bruce,” you let out a shaky breath, “Alfred said you wanted to talk?”

“Yes,” he nodded, his face more solemn than you’ve ever seen before, “Sit.”

Oh no, you thought, one word replies and commands.

You pulled up a wheeled chair and sat obediently in front of him.

“Firstly,” he began, “I’m sorry. For keeping you in the dark this whole time. I needed to process the information, and make sure. And it was… difficult for me to come to terms with the truth. I’ve only just told Alfred last night.”

“What are you talking about?” you questioned slowly, your previous worries disappearing.

“What do you know about multiverses and alternate realities?” Bruce asked you.

“Uhm, what?” you were taken aback by his seemingly random question, “Are you serious?”

Bruce simply looked at you.

“Uhm,” you tried, “I know just enough from sc-fi movies and comic books?”

“Well, it’s more science than fiction,” Bruce stated.

“Okay,” you nodded slowly, still not understanding his point, “And?”

“Certain events caused by certain… individuals,” he struggled with his words, “May cause certain effects onto our world and reality. In this case, bringing back the dead.”

“What, our next mission involves zombies or something?” you smirked.

“I’m being serious,” he deadpanned.

“Right. Sorry,” you quickly added.

“Do you know what the Lazarus Pit is?” he asked another odd question.

“Sure,” you nodded at the familiar name, “That’s how Ra’s Al Ghul is immortal. It makes you not age.”

“It also heals unhealable injuries,” Batman added.

You frowned again. “Where are you going with this, Bruce?”

“Red Hood is Jason Todd,” he blinked.

You blinked back.

“Excuse me, what?” you exclaimed. “Bruce, how did you jump from alternate realities and the lazarus pit to- oh my god.”

Finally, your mind clicked.

“That’s- no,” you shook your head, “That’s not possible. You’re fucking with me, aren’t you? This is some sort of weird test.”

He pursed his lips, and then turned to the computer. He pulled up some sort of biochemistry result on screen. One side was Red Hood’s blurred CCTV photo, and the other, a young dark haired boy smiling brightly at the camera. You recognized him from the one or two pictures on display in the Manor.

“I ran a DNA test from a blood sample I acquired from Red Hood one of the days where I confronted him,” Bruce explained, “I had my suspicions based on the things he had said, and the knowledge he had of us, but I couldn’t confirm it until I ran the test. Even after that, I had to make sure.”

“And?” you demanded.

“And that’s it,” he finished, “Red Hood is Jason Todd.”

Your mind was racing.

“I understand if you have trouble comprehending it,” Bruce offered.

“No, shit,” you scoffed. You were at disbelief. It made zero sense, yet all the sense in the world.

“But, if it’s Jason Todd,” you looked at him, “Then why is he bad?”

“He’s angry with me,” Bruce explained. He had pain in his eyes. “He’s angry with me for not killing Joker, and for… you.”

“Replacement,” it dawned onto you, “Child soldiers being thrown away and replaced by new ones. That’s what he meant.”

“Exactly,” Bruce nodded, “But I think the Pit had something to do with fueling his anger as well. It’s naive to think that the dead can be brought back without… alterations.”

“It makes so much sense now. Why he’s been targeting me. He hates me for replacing him, he-” you looked at Jason Todd’s picture.

Oh.

Oh. You really were stupid. You were a complete idiot.

You didn’t make the connection before, because it didn’t make sense to you. Jason Todd was dead, so your brain did not see any sort of similarities between him and your Jason.

But now that you were staring at the picture of the smiling boy, you could see it. They looked different, very different, but no one could mistake the two if they stared long enough.

Todd was very young in the picture, but even at that age you could see the developing deep set eyes and heavy brows. Their noses were the same, except your Jason’s nose had probably been broken more than a few times. Todd’s skin was clear of scars, and had a more radiant complexion as compared to your Jason’s. Jason’s jaw was more squarish and developed, but their smiles were still the same side smirk.

You thought that Jason had smelled of fireworks. But really, it was-

“Gunpowder,” you whispered out loud to yourself.

“What?” Bruce asked.

“Nothing, I just- it’s a lot to process,” you told him.

Why weren’t you telling him anything?

“I understand,” he acknowledged, “If you have any questions, I promise I will answer them all truthfully. No more secrets.”

You looked at the man who adopted you only three months after his son’s death, and saw how he was trying to make things up to you, his concern about you.

“What was he like?” you asked, “I know I’ve asked you this before. I’ve asked Dick, too. And Alfred. But I felt like everyone was just too sad about it to tell me much. So I’m going to ask you again now that he’s back.”

“He was efficient, and he learned very quickly-”

“Not as Robin, Bruce,” you interjected, “How was he like at home when he had nothing to do? Did he go out with friends? What was his favorite flavor? That kind of stuff.”

Bruce fell silent for a moment, the crease between his brows deepening.

“He liked to read,” Bruce said, “I don’t know if you’ve been into his room, but we kept it exactly how it was all those years ago. All those books on his shelf- he read them all. Some more than once. He was very organized and tidy. Cleaned his room so that Alfred didn’t have to.”

You noticed him smile ever so slightly as he recalled the memory.

“He had some friends, but I’m not sure about a girlfriend,” he continued, “He was secretive. He was more quiet than Dick, but happy all the same. Until he got a bit confident, then he became reckless.”

“He angered easily,” Bruce sighed, “He was rash. He acted first without thinking of the consequences later. I remember having lots of arguments with him. There were many weeks where he wouldn’t speak to me unless it was a serious question regarding patrol. But he was good. He’s always been good.”

“I’m sure he still is, Bruce,” you sympathized with him. The Jason you knew was kind to you, but Red Hood- he was a different story.

Was it all a lie? Was the Jason you knew just a persona to use and manipulate you?

Just tell him, your inner thoughts screamed at you.

“So what now?” you asked.

“He’s been very careful with his operation,” Bruce explained, “I need to confront him. I need to talk to him.”

Fucking tell him, your conscience insisted.

Tell him what? That you were dumb enough to not be suspicious of a mysterious man who charmed his way into your life at the same time a new villain came to town?

You were so fucking naive.

“We need to do some interrogating. Maybe he has a base for operations-”

At the same time Bruce started explaining the plan to you, your phone dinged, causing you to jump slightly.

You ignored it, and looked apologetically at him.

“Once we find out, we try to corner him to talk. I might need to get Dick-”

Your phone dinged again.

“- to help. I haven’t told him yet-”

And for one last time, your phone dinged.

Bruce raised an eyebrow at you.

“I’m sorry,” you said sheepishly, “Let me silent it. Hold on.”

You unlocked your phone to see three consecutive messages from Sexy Hunk From Library.

Your heart sank to your stomach.

You put your phone on silent and put it away.

“Who is it?” Bruce asked, “If it’s urgent, we can continue this later.”

“No!” you accidentally raised your voice, “Ahem, I mean, no. It’s just a boy.”

“A boy?” he repeated, “You’ve been talking to a boy?”

“Yeah,” you admitted, extremely careful with your body language and choice of words, “Just a boy I met at the library. Sorry- he’s not important.”

Bruce looked at you for a moment, and then- “I’m still not relieving you of your suspension. I will have Dick with me for now while I investigate. You have two weeks left until I allow you to be back in uniform. As of now, training.”

“Yeah,” you sighed and close your eyes, squeezing the bridge of your nose, “It might do me some good. My grades are horrible. I have to catch up.”

“Good,” he nodded curtly, “Use your time wisely. And do not confront Red Hood alone.”

“Why would I do that, Bruce?” you asked exasperatedly, “Now I know who he really is, it’d be stupid of me to do so. This shit he has against us is fucking personal.”

“As long as you realise that, then fine,” he answered.

You nodded before adding, “Are you going to tell Dick over the phone?”

“No, I’ll have him come here,” he replied, “It’s the proper way. Dick will- he won’t take it as well as you did.”

“Well, I never knew the guy, so,” you shrugged, the thought of the Jason you did know, acted like an anchor on your heart. “I’m going to take a nice long bath. It’s been an intense day.”

“Take as long as you need,” he nodded, turning away to reach for his phone to dial Dick, “I think we’ll investigate Otisburg first. His previous base of operations was there, perhaps we could find some of his men.”

“Let me know how Dick takes it,” you waved, walking back.

*** You climbed into the steaming water, scented with vanilla and sighed deeply.

You stared at your phone which you put on the drying mat on the floor next to the tub, your notifications still on the screen. You gulped, and reached for it, careful not to drop in the water and read what Jason had sent you.

Sexy Hunk From Library: Hey Sexy Hunk From Library: What’re you up to? Sexy Hunk From Library: I’m so bored

You couldn’t help how the corners of your lips twitched upwards, and then you frowned again, thinking of how to deal with your dilemma.

Why couldn’t you just tell Bruce like what was expected of you? Was there a part of you that didn’t want Red Hood caught, or was it because you had fallen for Jason?

Or was it because you liked that your Jason was Red Hood?

You let out a loud groan of frustration.

Of course you didn’t like that the two were the same people. Because Jason had manipulated you, lied to you, and probably would have sabotaged you.

Yet, you didn’t feel angry. You just felt immensely sad for yourself, but most of all for him.

He had hid his true self from you so well, but now that you know who he was, and what he was going through, you just wanted to help. He was a Robin after all, and even if you hadn’t met him prior to this, you felt obligated to connect with him.

You decided to reply.

You: Hey. I just got back from school. I’m just soaking in the tub now.

You blinked in surprise when you received a video call from him instead. You made sure that your chest was submerged in water and hesitantly picked up.

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist when I heard that you were naked,” you saw him grin cheekily on the screen. He was in bed, judging from the blue pillows he had propped up behind him.

“I bet that’s what you say to all the girls,” you tried hard to smile and seem normal.

But he had caught on and frowned. “What’s wrong? I’m sorry, I can hang up if you want your privacy.”

“No, it’s not you,” you lied, “I just got my exam results back. They weren’t as good as usual. Fucking Michelle Myers looked so smug about it.”

“Is she like the popular mean girl who’s secretly jealous of you?” he guessed.

“I guess she is,” you chuckled, but your smile faltered again soon after.

“If you want to talk about it, I’m here,” he offered.

You pursed your lips in hesitation, thinking carefully about your next words and actions.

“Actually,” you said, “Could I meet you tonight? I’m- I’m not alright. I just need to talk to someone.”

“Tonight?” he frowned, pausing for a moment.

Of course. Night time was Red Hood time. He was probably busy when he didn’t have to seduce and manipulate you.

“Sure,” he finally agreed, “Where?”

“Really?” you were taken aback. Why would he neglect his own responsibilities to see you?

“Of course,” he insisted, “I told you that I’d be here for you whenever you need. I mean it.”

Now you were confused. Why was he so committed to gaining your trust?

“O-okay,” you smiled, this time for real. “Do you think we can meet at Robinson Park? Around nine thirty?”

Bruce would usually leave for patrol at 9.

“I’ll see you there,” he responded.

***

You looked at yourself in the mirror. You had specifically chosen to wear a baby pink sweater over a white collared shirt, buttoned all the way up with a grey plaid skirt that fell to your knees. You needed to look innocent and non-threatening. You kept your makeup light and your hair simple.

You took one of the less conspicuous of Bruce’s cars which happened to be one of the newer Mini Cooper models. It was the least sporty, least big, least out of place. You could blend in well with everyone else when driving that car.

You told Alfred you were going out to meet a friend, in which he responded with an almost offensive shocked expression, and then proceeded to endlessly tell you to have fun, and to not worry about coming back too early.

The traffic was lighter than usual, and the sky clear- the full moon shining high. You parked at Robinson Park’s open parking space and took a deep breath before grabbing your small purse and getting out of the car.

You checked your phone.

Jason was already there because he had sent you a text message saying which bench he was sitting at. Recognizing his description, you started walking towards him, your heart thumping louder and louder with every step.

“Hey,” you called out when you saw him from behind, sitting on the bench. He was wearing his red hoodie and jeans.

You recognized that hoodie all too well now.

He turned around and smiled widely at you, expecting you to sit next to him.

“Uhm,” you nervously said, “Do you think we could go somewhere more private?”

“Somewhere more private, huh?” he winked, making you giggle. You calmed your nerves down a bit, but still remained careful and vigilant.

“Not like that!” you laughed, “It’s just- going out with a guy at night, if anyone were to recognize me, I’d be in trouble.”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” he stood up. Suddenly his height and broad shoulders, the only thing you could see under the loose clothes, started an alarm in your head, reminding you of how easily he could overpower you. “Do you have any place in mind?”

“I was thinking,” you hesitated, “That building right there? It’s just a small office building. We could take the fire escape staircase up to the roof?”

You pointed towards the building across the street. It was only around five or six stories high.

“Isn’t that, trespassing or something?” he smirked.

“It’s not like we’re doing anything bad,” you rolled your eyes, “I just wanted to talk to you without being seen, that’s all.”

The truth was that you knew GCPD had cruiser cars patrolling outside of the park since they found the three bodies Red Hood hanged, as well as a couple of officers patrolling inside the park every few hours. You didn’t want to risk spooking Jason, especially since you were going to properly talk to him.

“Okay, lead the way,” he gestured.

You tried to be mindful of your body language. Hoping to not seem stiff or nervous, you walked next to him closely, your arm brushing his occasionally as you walked across the street.

Once you reached the fire escape staircase, the both of you climbed up smoothly.

The roof was clean, at least. No sign of pigeon droppings, no litter or cigarette butts, and no random puddles of water from the rain.

Jason walked to the edge, put his hand on the ledge, and peered over.

“Now, that’s high! I don’t know about you, but heights make me slightly nervous,” he chuckled to himself before turning to you and giving you a big boyish grin. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

The way he looked, both his hands behind his head in a casual, relaxed pose- you really didn’t want to believe it.

“I’m kinda nervous to tell you,” you admitted.

He walked towards you and gave you a warm smile, “It’s okay. Take it slow. I’ve got all night.”

You took a deep breath, and began.

“I’m confused. I feel like I’m doing the wrong thing instead of the right thing, but for some reason, the wrong thing feels more right than the right thing. You get me?” you finished your ramblings with a question.

The sound of sirens coming from the streets below were an accurate representation of what was going on in your head.

“I’m sorry,” he said in confusion, “I’m not sure I do, princess.”

You took a deep breath, ignoring your thumping heart and your inner voices screaming at you in protest.

“I know, Jason,” you stated, “I know who you are.”

Jason looked even more confused. So confused, that you doubted yourself for just one small moment. But then, against all your hope and wishes you had since you figured it out, his face twisted into a sinister smirk, his eyes no longer the bright and warm and friendly blue, but cold, harsh, and unforgiving.

When you thought of your Jason being Red Hood, it was hard to imagine someone like him as a cold blooded killer, but after seeing his face in a new light, you asked yourself why you didn’t figure it out sooner.

“Finally,” he rolled his eyes, “Did he tell you?”

You nodded, not wanting your voice to betray you and the tears that had started pooling your eyes. You had wished so hard that you were wrong, that Bruce was wrong.

“You look disappointed,” he scoffed.

“Of course I am,” you sighed, looking away, “I thought you were… nice.”

“It’s called acting, sweetheart,” he sassed.

“Well, I’ll be sure to nominate you for an Oscar, then,” you snapped.

The fucker actually chuckled at that, earning a glare from you.

“Anyway,” he started, “Let’s cut to the chase. Where is he?”

You frowned at that. “In Otisburg with Dick, investigating you. I told you, Batman wouldn’t bother us here tonight.”

“You’re telling me,” he responded, “That you came here unarmed, and without backup?”

He looked at you incredulously before barking out a humourless laugh. “You’re either brave or stupid.”

“If you wanted to hurt me, you would have done so long ago,” you pointed out.

“Thanks for you trust in me,” he said sarcastically.

“Jason,” you pursed your lip.

“What?” he snarled, “What was the point in this?”

“To-” you stopped midway, taking a deep breath of preparation, “To try to convince you-”

“To come back?” he interjected, “To come home? Kiss and hug with Bruce and it’ll all be okay?”

“He misses you, Jason,” you spoke softly, “We can help you fix this. Whatever this is.”

“Fix this?” he growled, walking closer to you as a burst of sudden anger appeared in his eyes, “The only way to fix this is to turn back time. To kill Joker. To unadopt you.”

You felt a sharp stab in your chest. Jason, upon seeing the hurt flash across your face, started to mock you.

“Aww, did I hurt your feelings?” he came even closer, “Insecure little Robin, thinks she’s so good, always doing the right thing.”

He reached out and tilted your chin upwards towards him, and leaned in close. You willed yourself to not flinch at his touch.

“I fucking hated you,” he whispered, hot breath fanning your face, “I wanted to bash your head in against the wall. I wanted to see you suffer and make you cry. Hell, I still do sometimes. But then I realise…”

His lips grazed your ear.

“That you’re. Just. Like. Me.”

You slapped his hand away and stepped back.

“I’m nothing like you,” you countered.

“No?” he raised an eyebrow condescendingly, “So you did not beat Jerome Miller’s ass straight into a coma?”

Your eyes widen, your throat tightened. “Wh- How- how did you-”

“Oh, sweetheart, who did you think hired those buffoons in the first place?” he sneered.

“No,” you squeaked, your thoughts all rushing back to you, “I- I told you… It was my favorite place in the world…”

“And I loved every fucking second of taking it away from you,” he elaborated, “And when you called me, crying- to say it felt good would be an understatement.”

Stupid. You were stupid, and that’s all you were. Stupid and naive.

You couldn’t stop the tears from escaping your eyes.

“Oh no, baby girl, don’t cry,” he rushed to wipe away your tears. You almost mistook him for being genuine, until he added, “You’re gonna make me hard.”

You looked away, remaining silent, disappointed at yourself for showing your weakness.

“Batman may have taken the fall for what you did to Miller, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew you had a personal grudge that you acted on. Just like me.”

“I didn’t mean to,” you still tried to argue, “It just happened.”

“And I just happened to come back from the dead, right?” he snapped, “And I just happened to take over the criminal underground?”

“What I did was an accident,” you protested.

“Yet Jerome Miller is still a vegetable,” he pointed out, “You don’t know much about him, do you? You didn’t do your research. You wouldn’t make excuses for yourself if you had.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” you demanded.

“His family? Ring any bells?” he said, and then his eyebrows shot up when he realised you were clueless, “Holy fucking shit! Don’t- don’t tell me. You never even stopped to think of his family?”

You swallowed the bitter taste in your mouth as your heart sank at that realisation.

“You’re more heartless than I thought, baby girl,” he chuckled, “Anna Miller- his wife- was diagnosed with stage four cancer about three years ago. She’s been in and out of chemo ever since. He needed to find a way to pay the bills. Now, he was already a talented and experienced man- but because Gotham is a shit hole, he, like everyone else, couldn’t find an honest job. So he had to resort to illegal means to pay for his wife.”

“He was a chatty guy, Jerome,” he continued, “Basically told me his life story. Thanked me again and again for the generous pay. He was going to take his 6 year old daughter to see Elsa at Disneyland this summer. Being the saint that I am, I even put in a couple grand extra. But now, I may have paid him a lot, but his wife will still continue to accumulate her medical bills. Who’s gonna pay for them? And poor sweet Andrea would be stuck without a father and a mother who’s too sick to take care of her. Thanks to you, of course.”

It became clearer to you now- the effects of your assault. You took away a breadwinner from his struggling family- and it shook you. The fact that the Red Hood was the one who pointed this all out to you to make you realise what you did, it was humorlessly ironic.

“You’re lying,” you shook your head. Denial was the only thing keeping you from breaking down. “Why should I believe a single thing you say when you’ve been lying to me for months?”

“Believe me or not, it doesn’t matter,” he shrugged nonchalantly, “I just wanted you to open your eyes and see who you really are. Impulsive, explosive, and insecure. And you know what? I can work with that. You’re perfect for my line of work.”

“Your line of work?” you frowned.

“I’m not all bad, you know,” he smirked, “I do this- I do what Batman hasn’t been able to. I’ve controlled crime. I know you’ve questioned his methods. I did. And even if you haven’t, you will eventually.”

“No,” you insisted, not allowing your doubts to resurface again, “What you’re doing, it’s- it’s wrong.”

“Wrong?” he scoffed, “If what I’m doing is wrong, then that would make me the bad guy, right?”

You eyed him suspiciously, unsure of where he was going with that point. The wind was blowing in his hair, messing it up and making him look more boyish. If you squinted hard enough, you thought you could see a glimpse of the younger Jason Todd- the one Bruce had pictures of.

“Then isn’t it wrong for Robin, the light to Batman’s darkness,” he exaggerated, before glaring straight into your eyes, “to want to fuck the bad guy?”

He finished with a smug grin.

“W-what?” you half sputtered, half screeched.

“Oh, please,” he rolled his eyes, “You might as well have spelt it out for me in bold when I kidnapped you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you stood your ground.

Jason closed the distance, until both of your fronts were just an inch apart. Your stomach did a flip, your heart beating faster at the movement, almost jumping out of throat.

You gulped subconsciously.

“I’ve heard you moan,” he drawled, “I saw your pupils dilate, and the way you licked your lips when my crotch was right in front of you. You looked hungry.”

It was like you were frozen, yet heat started to pool at your centre as you remembered that the man in front of you was the famous cold-blooded criminal that you’ve been thinking about non-stop ever since your first encounter.

He gripped you by the hips and pulled you closer to grind his front against yours. You squeaked at the sudden movement, but gasped when you felt his cock half hard against you.

You were so close, you had to crane your neck up painfully to see him. He was so much taller than you, his head bowed down, your lips only inches from each other, panting hard before anything had even started.

His smell were clearer than ever, you knew that he smelled like leather because of his alter ego. You could also smell the lingering fabric softener that he must have used on his laundry, which gave you an almost comical picture of him in his Red Hood costume trying to figure out how the washing machine worked. And the gunpowder. You breathed him in, thinking the last one suited him the most, the combination of it and his musky cologne complimenting each other.

The pull you felt towards him- the lust, the want, the craving, hell the fucking sparks- you didn’t feel all of that when you kissed the first time, or the second.

You only felt it now, when you knew that he was Red Hood, that he was Jason Peter Todd- the Robin you never met.

The Robin who died.

The Robin who hated you.

He took his hand and cupped your cheek, surprisingly gentle with his touch. That is, until he closed the gap and kissed you hard, almost forceful with his nips and licks. It was hard for you to keep up with him because he kissed you like he was so deprived, like he needed to.

For some reason, you could really taste him now. He tasted like a mix of dark bitter chocolate and smoke and whiskey and coke.

You let out a soft involuntary moan when he pried his tongue into your mouth, and rubbed his hands up and down your waist, to your back, squeezing your ass and coming back to your hips. Without breaking the kiss, he started walking and guiding you towards the exit door to the stairwell, his grip on you preventing you from stumbling.

He pushed you against the wall bordering on violently, consequently knocking the breath out of you from shock more than anything, and took a step back.

He observed you, his hooded eyes raking your body. His lips were plump and glistening, his gaze piercingly intense.

You could only imagine what you looked like to him. Pupils blown, lips swollen, face flushed.

“Hmm,” he tilted his head as his stare wandered across your body, “Was this get up supposed to have changed my perspective of you? To see you as a sweet, innocent girl? You thought I wouldn’t hurt you if you looked like a good girl?”

You gulped, not knowing how to answer his accurate guess.

“Quite the opposite, princess,” he growled, “Your innocence was what attracted me in the first place. And now that I know what’s underneath all that fucking pink- that you beat a guy half to death. Well, that turns me on even more.”

He stalked towards you in a predatory way, making your breath hitch. He looked like he was going to devour you, and you would be lying if you said it didn’t scare you despite your panties getting moist.

“Plus,” he added, “I like corrupting good girls. Making them dirty. Not that you aren’t already.”

He reached around your head and grabbed a fistful of your hair, pulling your head sideways so he could attack your neck. His other hand roamed your body, squeezing your breasts, eliciting another moan from you.

Then, you felt his hand snake up the side of your thigh, bunching up your skirt along the way, creeping further and further towards your center.

“Jason,” you gasped.

“I know you want this,” he whispered into the crook of your neck, not stopping his hand. “Don’t you?”

He pressed onto your covered clit gently, making you whine at the relief, your hands now flat against the wall behind you. He then pulled down your panties swiftly, goosebumps appearing wherever he touched. Even though you were still wearing your skirt, you still felt bare and exposed, partly due to the unfamiliar feeling of wind brushing up and caressing your naked pussy.

You moaned yet again when he sucked onto the skin of your neck. You knew he was going to leave bruises and marks, but you were too dizzy in heat and lust to care.

He slipped a finger in between your folds and started to lightly stroke up and down, always avoiding touching the spot you really wanted him to touch.

“Fuck,” he chuckled, “You’re dripping, and I haven’t even done anything yet.”

He straightened and looked at you in the eye. “I knew you weren’t the sweet girl you pretend to be,” he stated, and without warning, started to rub your clit at an intense pace.

“Jason,” you whimpered, your hands flying from the wall to grip his shirt tight, loving the foreign feeling of someone else touching you.

”You like that, baby girl?” he panted hot breaths on your skin.

“Please don’t stop,” you breathed, heat and electricity pulsating from your center to your toes.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” he grumbled, stopping his movements altogether.

You let out a disappointed groan.

But before you could say anything, you felt a finger prod at your opening. Slowly, he inserted his finger, drawing a long sigh from you.

“Mmm,” he purred, “So tight and warm.”

You felt that amazing full feeling you felt when he did the same all those weeks ago while you were tied to the chair. Except now, he wasn’t just teasing anymore.

He started to curl his fingers upwards, pressing the spot he did previously, when he fingered you for the first time, but only more intensely just like the way he rubbed your clit and the way he sucked on your skin. It was like he was trying to attack you with a barrage of sensations.

“Fuck!” you cried, throwing your arms shamelessly around his neck for support, “I-is- is that my-”

“You mean you’ve never touched yourself here before? Not even after I touched it for you?” you felt him smile against your neck, increasing the pace, making you moan wantonly. “This is your g-spot, sweetheart.”

Right, your g-spot. You've heard of this biological mystery before- the girls were talking about it in the locker room. And you got even more curious after that particular session with Red Hood. But even when you did start touching yourself regularly, the easiest way was to only stimulate your clitoris, and you felt that was enough for you.

Mainly because Mother would scream even louder if you attempted to insert a finger, pretending it was Red Hood’s.

You whimpered into his neck, one of your thighs hitching higher and higher all the way to hook around his waist and give him more access. Immediately, he grabbed your leg from behind your knee and supported you.

“We gotta get you a bit more ready for me, baby girl,” he announced before slowly inserting a second finger, earning a shiver from you.

With two fingers inside, you felt the wonderful stretch for the first time. You mewled at all the new and pleasurable heat you felt.

“Fuck, how bad have you wanted this, sweetheart?” he whispered into your ear, “Because your slick is dripping down my hand right now.”

You turned away and pursed your lips.

“Answer me,” he nipped your earlobe, “Or I’ll stop.”

“No,” you whined, not caring about shame or dignity or principles anymore, “Please.”

“Then answer me like a good girl, princess,” he breathed, “Be a good girl for me. How bad have you wanted this?”

“Bad,” you choked, “So bad, Jason.”

“With Jason, or Red Hood?” he asked, not stopping his deft fingers.

“B-both,” you stuttered.

“For how long?”

“Since the- the night of the bank robbery-” you struggled to form your sentence, “-when you- t-touched me.”

“So you wanted Red Hood first before Jason?” he pulled back, looking at you wide-eyed and surprised.

You bit your lip and nodded.

He smiled wide, and then chuckled, simultaneously withdrawing his fingers from you.

You pouted at the loss, to which he replied, “Don’t look at me like that, baby.”

He pulled you in for another breathtaking, dizzying kiss. You let your leg fall back down to stabilize yourself. He untucked your collared shirt and snaked both his hands underneath. You shuddered when you felt his heat on your skin as he bunched up your top and sweater, pushing up your bra to reveal your breasts.

He played and squeezed them, pinching a nipple here and there, causing you to take in sharp breaths. He wrapped his other arm around you and descended downwards to give attention to your ass at the same time.

“I can’t decide which I like more,” he grumbled.

Suddenly, he pushed you back against the wall even harder, and hooked the same leg around his waist sharply. You felt him fumble around with his zipper, your anticipation now killing you.

Finally, he looked at you straight in the eye, his eyebrows knitted together, his lips slightly apart.

“I don’t care about you, so I’m not going to go slow, you hear me?” he warned.

You gulped, and nodded.

“I’m just going to take what I want,” he continued, “You wanted to make me the bad guy so much, so here I am. I’m going to be the fucking villain.

Your eyes fluttered shut when you felt him rub his tip up and down your pussy lips. You were slightly disappointed that you couldn’t see what he looked like from that angle.

“And once I start, I’m not going to stop either,” he growled, “You’re going to deal with the pain, like you always do. Like he taught you to.”

“Please don’t talk about him right now,” you groaned, forcing yourself to push away the guilt. What would Bruce think of this?

“Fine,” he smirked, prodding the head of his cock at your entrance, “You ready, sweetheart?”

“Ye- AH!” you screamed loudly for the first time that night, because he immediately thrust himself into you, tearing through you, stretching you further than just two fucking fingers.

It was painful. Very painful. You could feel the sting. But then you felt his thumb rubbing your clit intensely, mixing the pain with pleasure, and fuck.

Fuck.

You liked the combination.

“Shit,” he rasped as he fucked into you wildly, “Shit, you feel so good, baby girl.”

“Jay,” you trembled, feeling the way his cock filled you up, feeling the way your pussy pulled it in, the way your walls clung onto his shaft with every violent drag.

“Hold onto me,” he commanded, and you automatically obeyed, your arms going around his neck. He hooked your other leg around his waist and gripped your hips, so that you were now off the ground and against the wall.

“Jay, Jay, Jay,” you chanted as your mind went fuzzy, your eyes watery from the fiery way he fucked you, hitting your spot again and again with the head of his cock. You were breathless, you couldn’t tell if it was reality or a dream.

He was loud. You could hear his whines, and moans, and grunts.

Hell if that didn’t turn you on even more.

“Fuck, the way your tits bounce, fuck,” he husked, his lips brushing against yours.

Indeed, you could feel your breasts heave and move with the motion, and you could hear the vulgar sound of skin slapping against skin, the wet slick sounds you assumed was your pussy being drilled by his dick.

“So wet and good for me, princess,” he muttered, “So good, taking my cock so well.”

His tongue forced his way inside your mouth again, finding yours. He started sucking on your tongue as he pounded you against the wall, muffling your cries. You weren’t going to last very long. You could feel it.

The tightening of your stomach, the heat spreading from your core to your chest and your toes and the tips of your fingers, your consciousness gradually disappearing as you felt increasingly light-headed.

“I can feel you, baby,” he breathed, “You wanna cum, sweetheart?”

“Jason,” you let out a soft sigh, unable to say anything other than his name.

“Me too, baby girl, me too,” he said in stuttered breaths as his thrusts became even faster but sloppier. He started rubbing on your clit again.

The moment he did, you snapped. You felt the shattering, most intense feeling of pleasure overcome all your senses, whiting you out from reality for those few moments of your high.

“Fuck!” you heard him swear distantly as you came back down. He pulled out quickly from you, making you wince at the slight soreness, and then you felt hot pulsations on your lower stomach as he groaned and grunted his release.

He slumped against you, trapping you between the wall as you released his middle from your legs. The moment you tried to stand up, your legs gave up, causing you to wobble and fall. Jason caught you before you reached the floor, and then gently set you down.

You leaned your head back on the wall and closed your eyes. Your legs still spread wide, hoping the cool air could relieve you of the sudden soreness you felt between your legs.

“You’re bleeding,” you heard him choke.

You opened your eyes to see him look at you with an odd expression- like he was confused and trying to decide something important.

“I’m fine,” you said, “Would it be too much to ask you to pass me my handbag? I’ve got tissues inside.”

You watched as he zipped himself up and walked a couple of feet away from you to take your bag. But instead of tossing it to you like you expected him to, he went through it, found the tissue, and then walked over to you and kneeled down.

With wide eyes, your eyes followed him as he took out a sheet and wipe you gently between your legs, the inside of your thighs, and your stomach. He tossed the tissue to the side. You briefly caught the bright red on the white. He took out another sheet and then cleaned you once more.

Once he was done, he found your panties and held them out to you, not meeting your eye. You graciously took it and slipped it back on, not missing the way his cheeks were slightly red.

You tried standing up again.

You were a little wobbly, but you managed.

He was now a few feet away from you, watching you from the corner of his eye.

The silence was awkwardly deafening. You just stood there, blushing, holding your own arms.

Then-

“Fuck it.”

He walked to you, and before you knew it, he pulled you in his arms for a…

Hug?

He forced your head to rest on his hard chest, as his other hand wrapped around you tight. The warmth you felt was surprising, but comforting, especially after losing your virginity in such an unconventional way.

“Don’t get used to this,” grumbled into your hair, “I’m not your fucking boyfriend.”

You could only silently nod as you tried to hide your smile.

The moment was short lived, because you remembered again how you got there.

“Jason?” you whispered.

“What?” he answered harshly.

“I hated you, you know,” you admitted, “Not Red Hood, not Jason Haywood. But you. Jason Todd.”

He let you go, and looked at you with an angry confused look.

You guessed that was how he was going to look at you from then on. Angry confusion. Angry stares. Angry smile. If that was even possible.

“It was just a deep, dark part of me, of course. I also did wish I got to know you. The Robin that died,” you said bitterly, “Every time someone brought you up, they’d look so fucking sad. Not that I could tell anyone that, of course. Because that would make me a Grade A bitch. But you know what? I hated you. I always wondered if Bruce adopted me just to fill in the hole that you left. And every time I did something right, I’d would think everyone around me is saying ‘Oh look at her. She’s finally catching up to Jason.’ And fuck, when I did something wrong, then it’d be ‘Jason would never have fucked up like that’.”

You looked at him with all the bitter resentment you’ve been harboring for years.

“I hated you, and I hated every time someone brought you up,” you continued, “Like, God, get over it, you know? He’s dead.”

You were slightly taken aback at how he was still silent, listening, and waiting for you to finish.

“But you’re not dead,” you sighed, “You’re here, alive. And I don’t know why I’m not telling Bruce about this. I hate you, so fucking much for making me feel this way.”

He stared at you with knitted brows, and then started chuckling, making you frown.

“Oh man,” he laughed, “I’ve never seen anyone look at me with so much hatred before. I mean, sure some of my men do hate me, but it was always mixed with fear. But you? Baby girl, you make me so fucking proud.”

He changed back into his arrogant self.

“Join me,” he cockily said.

“W-what?” you sputtered.

“Come on. I know you. The deep, dark part of yourself,” he used your own words, “The one who hated her father’s dead son, the one who put a guy into a coma without stopping to think of his family, the one who let me fuck you the way I did.”

He grinned as you remained silently frowning.

“Just one night,” he tried, “Just to show you my world, and what I do. I know you’re curious.”

He was right, you have always been curious as to what was happening on his side. The crazies, the bad guys, the deplorable.

Lately more than ever, with the exponential decrease in certain criminal activities.

“You know,” he continued, “Whenever you feel like you’re tired of being his sidekick, I’d gladly take you up as a partner.”

You chewed on your lip, heavily considering his offer.

“I’ll think about it,” you finally said, and turned away from him, “I’m going back.”

You were tired.

And sore.

“You know where to reach me.”

***

Jason watched you as you climbed back down the fire escape, putting up his casual front until he knew you were gone. He grit his teeth when he saw you cross the street back to the park, your gait slightly different.

He walked over to the wall where he fucked you animalistically wild.

“FUCK!” he roared, and punched the wall, feeling the pain reverberate down to his shoulder.

Why did he do that? Why did he do it the way he did?

He felt his chest tighten, his breaths quick and sharp.

His eyes were stinging with tears.

Why did he hug you? He didn’t care. He was not supposed to care.

Why did he feel like a fucking monster?

Finally, after so long of trying to hold back, he broke down.

He punched the wall again, and again, until he crumpled down to his knees, his sobs almost choking him.

He ran his fingers through his hair and pulled, screaming loud at how much he fucking hated himself.

He hated you, so much.

No, he didn’t.

Yes, he did.

“SHUT UP!” he yelled, “Shut up, shut up, shut up.”

He was nothing more than a pathetic, slobbering mess. No wonder Bruce had replaced him with you.

No, it was Bruce’s fault. Bruce never loved him. Bruce doesn’t love you. He just uses people and then throw them away.

He couldn’t breathe.

“Please,” he whimpered, “I want to die.”

No, he didn’t.

He still had a job to do, he still had his goals to reach. He’s been working so hard and he got to this point already. He had control of the underground and control over you.

So why didn’t he feel like a winner?

[toothpastecanyon]

Noie’s Brother, Chapter 13

Thank you @feferipeixes​ for beta reading this chapter! I really appreciate it!

Fate sometimes rhymed, but Alcor felt like this one was a little on the nose. A newborn Mizar fading away in the hospital and a loving father pleading to him from behind a circle of candles.

Fate sometimes rhymed, but Naomi Argenta just wants this stupid vampire to stop harassing her brother. It’s making him go… weird.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

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               Who was Dipper talking to?

               “Huh? I don’t… huh?” Looking up from the bus’s window, Noie saw Dipper frowning at a phone call. He rubbed his face. “No, I can hear you, I just… could you say that one more time?”

               Noie arched an eyebrow. He blinked at her.

               “I’m a…? What? Who is this?”

               “Who’re you talking to?”

               “Um - one second Noie - wait I don’t understand, you’re calling from Grandma’s phone, who is-”

               She snatched it out of his hand.

               “Hey! Noie!”

               Putting it to her ear, she heard, “-that the thing you’re focusing on? Who cares what phone I’m calling from, you are Alcor the Dreambender!”

               Noie’s stomach dropped. Lucy Ann.

               “You’re a demon in human disguise, okay? And I can explain but I need your help to… hello? You still there?”

               “...Hi.” She managed. Her voice was very small, and she cringed at the groan that came through the line.

               “Oh great, it’s you.”

               “Um…” Dipper was frowning at her; she flashed a bright smile. ”No! No, thank you! We’re not interested!”

               “What are you- are you trying to pass me off as a telemarketer?”

               “No no, sorry, um… no, not interested! Please don’t call again!”

               “You are just the worst, you know that?”

               Noie barked a laugh. “Hah, yeah, so thank-you-have-a-nice-day-bye!”

               “Yeah yeah, fuck y-”

               She whipped the phone away from her face and jabbed the red button until it hung up. The screen went back to normal, and she breathed a massive sigh of relief.

               Crisis averted.

               “Who was that?” Dipper’s voice made her jump. “Why’d you-”

               “Nobody! Just- telemarketer!”

               He frowned at her. “What are you talking about? They were calling from Grandma’s phone, how did someone-”

               “They can do that!” She clutched his phone to her chest. “It’s the, um- can’t think of the word right now but it’s a thing and don’t worry about it! Wow, look, we’re close to school!”

               “Spoofing.”

               “Yeah it’s spoofing!” She blinked. “Wait, what word is that?”

               Dipper was rubbing his head. “That’s what you were saying, they can spoof phone numbers, to… to, ugh. ” With a groan, he curled forwards, putting his face in his hands and mumbling, “Sorry, head is killing me right now…”

               “Oh, no,” Noie said, a little distantly. She was staring down at his phone, at the ‘1 New Text Message(s)’ on his lockscreen. Her heart thumped in her chest; after a moment’s hesitation, she bit her lip, tapped in his password and checked it out, just to be safe.

               The text was… an automatic reminder from their history class that the project was due next week.

               Oh, okay.

               She went back to his message history, and stared at the list of his recent conversations.

               Nothing. Okay.

               Went to close his phone, but paused there. There could be a message coming from Lucy Ann any second, she thought. That could really be a problem; it only took one message to ruin this.

               It only took one second.

               It only took one single slipup, and… okay, she had to deal with this.

               Noie sucked in a breath, and shot a glance over at her brother. He was still cradling his head, fingers clutching at his hair... his thinner, paler fingers tipped with claws, she noticed.

               (And his hair, was it thinner? It almost looked thinner to her…)

               With a hard swallow, she turned off his phone, and slipped it into her backpack.

               Okay, she thought for the rest of the ride.

               Okay.

               When their stop came up and Dipper dazedly asked for his phone back, she said she’d already given it to him. He was frowning and patting his pockets as they crossed the street into the parking lot, but she ignored him.

               That was okay, she thought. He’d forget about it in just a second now.

               The gates. The angel. The lump in her throat. They were all getting so close now, and that was okay.

               Noie squeezed his hand. It was okay. It was okay. It was okay, okay?

               And when Dipper squeezed back hard, claws digging into her skin… that was okay, too.

               Everything would be okay, as long as she trusted the plan.

                               ���One moment, please.”

               Ugh, another one of these. There’d be more talk, and there’d be more growling, and Noie just stood there, dreading it. It was okay, too, but stars, she wasn’t in the mood. She’d gotten so little sleep last night - did she sleep at all?

               She… didn’t actually know, and that made her snort. Not a good sign.

               The angel started to talk, now, and Noie just closed her eyes, let his words wash over her, heard all about how the preparations are just about in place, it won’t be much longer, you’ve done well so far for a human. And that’s all I need; my plans would never demand perfection from you. I would never burden one of my chosen with more than they could handle.

               Slowly, Noie opened her eyes. He’d stepped to the side, so she walked forwards, bringing Dipper along with her.

                               Not to say that your burden has been light, my child. You have struggled more than was expected with it, and… that does sadden me. I admit these morning conversations have been quite endearing; I do so love humans, but an angel such as myself has duties to attend to and I rarely have the opportunity to interact with one, as I do with you.

                               …to form a bond, as I have with you.

               She kept walking. Kept walking, and a smile was put on her face. She was smiling… huh.

                               We are friends, are we not? I believe us to be friends, and that is why it would sadden me if what I placed upon your shoulders caused you feelings of resentment towards me. I forgive you, of course, if they do -  you may never understand the good I am doing here, and no personal attachment would ever distract me from bringing about your salvation, from bringing about the salvation of all my chosen people. If some of them must hate me to be saved, then that is unfortunate, but that is a burden I will carry for you.

               She nodded to herself, like that made sense. Kept walking.

                               But I do hope that we remain as friends after this.

               Kept walking. Not towards the math building. Into the nurse’s office, and that was a little strange but maybe she was taking Dipper there. Yeah, that made sense.

                               Perhaps I can lighten your burden, and that will cause you to look on me more favourably.

               Kept walking, over to the beds. She rubbed her eyes - huh, she was suddenly quite tired. She sat down, laid down, and that made sense.

                               ...There.

               She closed her eyes, and the angel’s smile stretched across her face.

                               “You are welcome,” he said with her voice. With her eyes, he watched her drift off to sleep.

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               Noie opened her eyes. She was standing at the bus stop, and it was the end of the day.

               She blinked, then frowned. It was the end of the day already?

               …

               Yeah, her phone said it was two thirty. Huh. That felt like it went by fast; heh, time flies when you’re a master of sleeping through school, right? Dipper didn’t know what he was missing out on.

               Dipper… Dipper!

               He was right behind her, slumped across the bus stop’s bench. The second Noie spotted him, a smile she didn’t know she was wearing fell right off her face. The past few days hit her like a truck, and ohhhh riiight, everything kind of sucked right now, didn’t it?

               Oh, shit! Everything really sucked right now! Wh- uh, what was she- how was she gonna-?

               No, wait, fuck, the bus was coming right now!

               “Dipper? Dipper, the bus!” She frantically tapped his shoulder. “Come on, you gotta get up!”

               He just moaned, and when she pulled him upright oh my stars he definitely didn’t look that bad when they woke up. A nosebleed had dried on his deathly pale face, and his eyes, half-lidded and unfocused, kept glitching to gold.

               “Dipper…” Noie breathed. Her stomach dropped, but then she heard the bus pull up behind them - no time to freak out.

               (No time, never any time-)

               Stuffing it down, she made his hand cover his nose and tried to plaster on a smile as she led him up to the bus.

               Fare money, fare money… argh, she should’ve gotten this ready before they got on! Thank the stars the driver took one look at Dipper and waved them through; that was a good bit of luck.

               Noie all-but carried Dipper to the back of the bus and propped him up in the corner seat. She tried not to look at him as she fished out a box of tissues, and stared at her own hand as she cleaned up the blood on his face.

               ...There, all gone. A nervous chuckle - good as new, right?

               Right?

               She cupped his cheek, and smiled when, a moment later, he leaned into her hand. His skin.. it felt clammy, his eyes were still flickering, and suddenly Noie was struggling to keep that smile on her face. Her jaw trembled, her lips twitched, her breath caught-

               Then she drew it all back. Sat forwards. Stared straight ahead. Drummed on her legs for a second then got out her phone.

               Dipper groaned, and she stared down. Scrunched up the fabric of her shirt, and squeezed until she had a lid back on the pressure in her chest.

               Only then did she dare to sneak a glance at her brother. It looked like he’d fallen asleep; his eyes were closed, and she couldn’t see what they looked like anymore.

               Okay.

               Ohhh-kay.

               This was still fine. There was still a plan, and that was weird but nothing had really changed, she could still fix this. Just keep him away from Lucy Ann and everything would be fine, everything would go back to normal.

               She nodded to herself, like that made sense. Hopefully her Grandpa wasn’t sitting in the kitchen today, she thought.

               Even he’d probably get all nosey if he saw Dipper like this, and that was the last thing she needed right now.

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               Washing dishes at three in the morning. Noie had to be quiet; she extracted a mug from the clutter in the sink with surgical precision, and let the tap dribble water over it.

               Then she took the sponge, and scrubbed hard.

               Scrubbed harder than she needed to.

               Scrubbed hard enough that her arms started to burn, hard enough that her breath got harsh and her shirt got stuffy.

               Hard enough that she didn’t have to think about anything, or anyone.

               Scrubbed like she wanted to shatter this mug.

Scrubbed, like she wanted

to scour it all down

               to

nothing.

…

               And then she gave up. Panting, she tossed it in the drying rack. Picked out something else.

               Tried it all over again, because this was good.

Her jaw ached from being clenched.

               She’d been a little stressed from all this Dipper business, you know? She needed to let off some steam-

Her back hurt. Her neck was killing her.

                -and this way, she was being productive about it! That was great, right?

Stars, her eyelids were burning.

               This was fine. This was fine… and besides, she couldn’t complain.

She was going to scream.

               It was Dipper who was really struggling, you know? She was doing this all for him.

She had to do everything for him.

               And she didn’t mind. She didn’t mind doing things for people. It was fine.

She had to do everything around this fucking house-

               It was fine! It was fine. You know, she’d appreciate a ‘thank you’ once in a while, but hey, it wasn’t like she was expecting one at this point so it doesn’t really matter what she thinks, does it!

shoved her sponge into a glass and soap splattered everywhere and it slipped out of her hands and fell to the floor and-

               Noie caught it. Her hand shot out and she caught it before it hit the ground.

Before it shattered and woke everyone up.

               Heart hammering in her chest, she glared at it. Glared at the soapy water now running down her arm.

Shattered, and then her Grandpa would storm over and he wasn’t going to talk to her about all the dishes she did perfectly, now was he?

He wouldn’t even notice.

               She gripped the glass until her knuckles went white.

               Nobody noticed. Nobody even cared until she messed up, and then they just got mad at her even though she was trying to help and she was going to break this glass.

               That thought popped into her head, and suddenly she was, she was. Noie backed up, trembling with fury, and glanced at the backyard. No, dammit, she couldn’t go out the backdoor-

               The front door! She jerked herself towards it and tried so hard to keep herself from wrenching it open - blood thundered past her ears as she did it slowly, narrowed her vision until she couldn’t see anything but getting outside come on come on FUCKING COME ON-

               Then she slipped through, darted out onto the driveway, and with every once of force in her body, every scrap of stress and frustration and guilt and worry and fury she’d kept to herself for god knows how long-

               Naomi Argenta hurled the glass straight at the concrete and utterly annihilated it out of existence.

               …

               She let out a breath. She breathed in… and pushed it out again.

               Her heart stopped racing; the sound of it faded to silence, and she breathed in…

               And she blinked.

               Looked down, at the constellation of glinting shards beneath her feet. Her bare feet.

               Oh, Noie thought, and there was a rush of shame that set her cheeks on fire.

               Oh, she should not have done what she just did. Why did she do that? Why on Earth did she do that?

               She tried to shift her feet, but there was broken glass everywhere and no shit you idiot, what did you expect was going to happen? You chucked glass at your feet!

               Noie cringed. Stars, she actually did that. She did that, she just straight up lost her temper and snapped - she actually snapped, and broke a glass, and now she was stuck here in this completely avoidable situation that was all her fault… What was she thinking?!

               What was wrong with her?

               What was she going to do?

               She looked around, but there was just glass everywhere. It was just everywhere she looked. Everywhere she tried to move her feet. Everywhere, and staring at it all made her brain go blank.

               Maybe in time, Noie would’ve gotten it working again, and would’ve come up with a solution on her own. Maybe she wouldn’t have, and was going to stand there, bluescreening until someone found her the next morning. She truly didn’t know, and at that moment, there was a noise from behind her that ensured she’d never have to.

               The sound of feet sliding down tile made her turn. The voice made her look up, and gape.

               “Psst, kid.” Lucy Ann was sitting right above her. She’d clambered over to the corner of Noie’s roof, and now those red eyes were peering down at her. She watched with wide eyes as the vampire extended one clawed hand... and reached out to her.

               “Let me getcha out of that,” Lucy Ann said, and motioned her to come up. “C’mon, take my hand.”

               Noie stared at her, and her hand.

               “Come on, it’s alright.” She flashed a fanged smile. “I know I literally look like a six year old, but I promise I can lift ya.”

               After another moment of hesitation, a glance around the driveway for some other way out… she swallowed hard, and started reaching up.

               Slowly, nervously, she touched, then grasped Lucy Ann’s hand. The vampire felt like ice, and it occurred to Noie how tiny she was; she was really holding onto the vampire’s wrist.

               That was not reassuring, but before she could change her mind Lucy Ann pulled her up onto the roof with the ease of someone pulling a damp towel out of the washing machine. The next thing she knew she was on the tile, and that deceptively strong vampire was looming over her, touching her legs wait what was she-

               “You got a bit of glass here.” Lucy Ann picked a shard off the end of her leggings and flicked it away. “That’s the only big one I see, but I’d do a change of clothes before jumping in bed. You humans really don’t do well with this stuff - makes you bleed all over the place, and that’s just wasteful.”

               Noie jerked her legs back, then gulped when those red eyes turned back on her. Lucy Ann didn’t look angry; the vampire’s gaze was steady, calm, carefully neutral, and made her want to melt into the ground.

               She should probably say something right about now, shouldn’t she.

               “U-um-” Noie started. She cleared her throat. “Th-thanks.”

               “Don’t mention it.”

               She opened her mouth-

               “I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re still the worst.” Lucy Ann’s chuckle was caustic. “You’re not ‘Would-Leave-In-A-Field-Of-Broken-Glass’ the worst, but I just thought I’d make that clear.”

               “Oh…” Noie leaned away from her. “Uh, o-okay- good… good to know.”

               “Like you know how I’m still stuck in your yard fearing for my life because you won’t let Alcor help? Gotta tell you, I’m now way less worried about death by angel now that I’m literally dying of boredom.” She bared her teeth at Noie. “You know what I was doing when I heard you come out here?”

               “Um, I-”

               “You’re not gonna guess. I was playing Jenga with grass.”

               “Wh- wait, what?”

               “Jenga with grass. Humans still play Jenga, right?” Lucy Ann mimed stacking her fingers. “You make a tower with a bunch of blocks, three of them go this way, three of them go that way, then you try and-”

               “No, I know that ga-”

               “Then you know it’s not supposed to be played with grass!” She giggled, and there was a desperate edge to it. “Noooo, it does not translate, but you know what - I had time to kill! And grass. To kill… Hey, by the way, why do you guys have a lawn out back? You live in a desert, it’s freaky.”

               She scooted back. “Um…”

               “You want to leave, don’t you.”

               “I don’t… I mean, I-”

               “Hey, I do too! You know, just saying.”

               Noie cringed at her expression. She could see how this would be frustrating, but how was she supposed to explain everything was going to be fine?

               Because it was going to be fine, but it was complicated, and… ugh, what was she saying. She definitely owed it to Lucy Ann to try.

               With that thought in mind, she took a deep breath, and held up her hands. “Okay, okay, look-”

               “Oh, I can tell this is gonna annoy the shit out of me already.”

               Noie gritted her teeth. “No, this isn’t- can I just explain the plan, please?”

               “Yup. Gonna annoy the shit out of me.”

               “In just a few days, there’s going to be someone who’s going to, um, help my brother with what he’s got going on-”

               Lucy Ann crossed her arms. “You mean you’re gonna hire an exorcist?”

               “Uh… yeah, kinda.”

               “Not gonna work, kid.”

               “It’s gonna-”

               “Like, even in the scenario where Dipper is just possessed - which he’s not - there’s no way you’re exorcising Alcor the Dreambender.” She snorted at the thought. “Also just saying, if you’re denying this cause you’re worried about Dipper, the scenario where he is Alcor sounds a whole lot better to me than the one where he’s being possessed by Alcor. Like in version two you’re going up against literally the most powerful demon known to Earth, so… be glad that’s not reality, maybe?”

               Noie frowned at her. “He’s not a demon. Look, this is going to work-”

               “Ohhh my stars it’s not though-”

               “The person I have, it’s- he’s a… he’s a special case, okay?”

               “The fuck does that even mean.”

               “You’ll- uh, just trust me, okay? He’s got this plan all worked out-”

               “Wait, he’s got this plan worked out?”

               “Yeah?” Noie frowned as she sat up. “I mean, that’s the plan, and-”

               “Whose plan?”

               “I mean, that’s the plan-”

               “Who made the plan?  The exorcist guy you’re hiring?” Lucy Ann narrowed her eyes. “Who is he, actually? Is he an actual licensed exorcist?”

               She leaned away. “Uh, why are you so interested all of a-”

               “Cause I’m telling you right now that no decent exorcist would ever take on an Alcor possession; they know they can’t touch him. You say his name in one of their offices, they will turn you away and call the police so fast… ” Lucy Ann looked back at Noie. “But I’m getting off track. Point is, you probably hired some kook, or… well, you most likely hired some kook, but I want to know his name.”

               She stretched a smile. “His… name?”

               “Oh my stars, please tell me you know his name.”

               “No no, it’s just, um… I-I don’t think he has one?” She watched Lucy Ann’s eyes widen. “I mean, I don’t think he’ll be bad at exorcising-”

               “Then that’s specifically the problem, isn’t it!”

               “Wh-what’s wrong? Why are you-”

               “Cause now you’ve got a guy - you don’t know his name - who’s heard this story about Alcor and is telling you he can make your problems go away when he full well knows he can’t!” She stared at Noie’s bewildered expression. “Do you not see that that this is bad? And he’s got a ‘plan’ for- wait, do you actually know what the plan is? When’s it supposed to-”

               “He’s getting things set up. It’s fine.” Noie scooted towards the edge of the roof. “Look, he just wants to help, I have to trust him, a-and it’s not like he’s manipulating me or anything - I don’t have to do what he says! Like, I got you that blood pack even when he, um… didn’t want me to talk to you, um, and-”

               “Wait, what? What was all of that just now?!”

               There was genuine horror on Lucy Ann’s face, and that made Noie cringe. “Look, can I go now? I didn’t explain it well, it’s not that bad-”

               “Not that bad?! Do you hear yourself right now?”

               “I’m, um, gonna go inside now-”

               “No, wait!”

               Lucy Ann shot forwards and seized her arm. She flinched at the cold grip. “Hey-!”

               “Stop. ” Lucy Ann caught her other shoulder. “Listen to me, Noie. Who is this guy?”

               “I told you I don’t know his name-”

               “No. No. Don’t act dumb. You can tell me more than his name and you know it.”

               She squirmed under her gaze. “Uh… I don’t-”

               “This guy told you to keep this plan a secret, didn’t he.” Lucy Ann gripped her tighter. “Noie, I guarantee you he did that because he knows it’s bullshit, and he knows you don’t know any better.”

               “I-I don’t think-”

               “No, stop. Stop thinking you know things, because you don’t and this plan is a ruse for something. Don’t you see how quickly it fell apart when you talked to someone who actually knows about demons? Use your head, Noie. You’re getting played.”

               “That’s not-”

               “You’re getting played, and you need to tell me what’s going on so I can help.” She made a face. “And I’ve got a feeling we’re gonna need Alcor, too.”

               “Wha- no!” Noie shook her head. “No! He’s not a demon!”

               “But he- ugh, look, nevermind. I’m not gonna argue that with you right now, so just tell me about the exorcist guy.”

               Lucy Ann stared Noie down, and she was at a loss for words; her mouth opened and closed like a fish, and she tried to move back but the vampire didn’t budge. She’d gotten herself stuck, again, and now she really needed to think up of a way out of this. She needed to say something, anything-

               And to her surprise, that was when words came out of her mouth.

                “No.” Noie heard herself say. “You’re not on my side. You’re just trying to use me to get to my brother.”

                 In the stunned silence that followed, that was when the anger came. Really? Was this what was going on? Was Lucy Ann seriously just using her?

                  She clenched her fists. It made sense, in a way. It was possible.

               “Wait, what?” Lucy Ann gave a confused chuckle. “I’m doing what now?”

                  “You know what you’re doing - you’re lying! You’re trying to make me doubt my plan, but I can see through your plan!” Noie stabbed a finger at the vampire, and suddenly she was leaning back. “You’re trying to destroy Dipper!”

               “What are you- are you being serious right now?”

                 “Of course I am! You listen here-”

               “Noie-”

                     “-Dipper is my brother, and he’s not a demon-”

               “Noie, wh-”

                        “-and I’m going to do everything in my power to keep him safe from the likes of you!”

               Lucy Ann just stared at her like she’d grown a second head. The vampire opened her mouth to reply, but she’d heard enough, she needed to go inside, so could she please get these hands OFF OF HER-

               “Noie, I don’t- agh!” The vampire jerked back with a shout, clutching her hands to her body. “Ow! Fuck! Argh, what the hell was that? That hurt!”

                            Wordlessly, Noie rose to her feet. She glared down at the vampire, fists clenched, and watched her hiss and swear for another few seconds before unclasping her arms.

               “Shit, that hurt. What was that?” She glanced down at her hands, “That almost, that almost… felt, like…”

               And confusion turned to utter terror at the dark, smoking burns that were seared into her palms. Skin had turned to ash around the wounds, and she could only watch as the breeze came and whisked it away, scattered it into the open air.

               Then Lucy Ann turned that terrified expression onto Noie, and she felt… something.

               “Y-you burned me.” The vampire spoke in a shaking voice. “You… y-you’re with the angel, aren’t you? He’s the guy behind this plan of yours…” She held her hands out. “Noie, please listen to me, whatever he told you-”

                  Noie felt herself surge forwards. The vampire jumped back and her foot slipped on the slanted roof; she toppled to earth with a cry.

                   Noie watched her land amongst the shards, and that made her smile for some reason.

                    Wait, why was she smiling? Well, that vampire did something bad, right? She lied, she hurt Dipper, she should be afraid of her.

                               They should be afraid of me.

                   Yeah, that made sense. Think of all the times that vampire had trapped her, tried to coerce her, tried to control her into giving up her brother. Well, now she was in control!

                               I am in control.

                    That made sense. She was in control, and that vampire was down on the ground, helpless, screaming out for her dark lord to save her… but Alcor wasn’t going to come, was he?

                            No. No, there was only Noie, and the light of coming dawn.

                               It looked so helpless down there, didn’t it?

                               So pathetic.

                               My fists clench, and I can’t help but smile wide at the thought of...

                  Of smiting this creature?

               Noie blinked. Wait, what? She didn’t want to kill Lucy Ann! Where the fuck did that come from?

               That was when she heard a voice:

                               Do not be alarmed, child.

               And became aware of a presence in her mind that was not her own.

               “You!” Noie felt like cold water had been dumped over her; she started trembling. “What are you doing in my mind?!”

                               Answering your call for assistance, replied the angel, and stars it was weird to hear a mental voice besides her own. You were afraid, and being accosted by a vampire. Would you prefer I had not stepped in?

               “Uh, I’d prefer it if you didn’t try and kill people!”

               “Oh, what the fuck…” Down on the ground, Lucy Ann was staring at Noie with a mix of astonishment and horror. She darted for the front door and started banging on it. “Alcor! Alcor, you gotta get up! You gotta help me!”

               She was so loud, Noie was shaken out of her thoughts by a sudden fear. “What are you doing? Stop, you’re gonna get caught!”

               “Alcor! Alcor, help!”

               “Lucy Ann!” Noie somewhat awkwardly dropped herself off the roof, and came rushing over. “Wait, Lucy Ann-”

               She reached out a hand and Lucy Ann violently recoiled from it. The fear in her eyes didn’t make her feel good anymore; it made her feel awful, and she struggled to explain.

               “No, don’t be scared! L-look, I know the angel thing is weird, but I’m not gonna let you die!” She clenched her fingers, and unclenched them. “I’m still in control. I’m not gonna let it hurt you, I just need it to help Dipper-”

               “You’re delusional. You’re completely delusional. Alcor!”  

               “Wait!” Noie reached for her again but she darted away. “Don’t- argh! Great, yeah, go wake up the whole neighborhood! I’m going inside!”

               She opened the front door and shut it hard behind her. The house was echoing with Lucy Ann’s voice, and she cringed - shit, Grandpa was awake for sure. Any second now, he’d be coming round the corner and she had no idea what she’d say to him-

                               He is not awake.

               The angel again. She frowned. “What do you mean? How do you know that?”

                               I have been able to keep your elders dreaming and ignorant of the confrontation… for the time being. The angel’s voice sounded quieter, and almost strained. But child, this is an unholy place. The Dreambender’s presence is strong here… overpowering. It saps my strength. You must protect them in my stead.

               Noie nodded quickly and went to get a pen. The angel kept talking.

                               I feared an incident like this taking place. The vampire tried to lead you astray, and I sense the seeds of doubt it has sown within you. The angel sighed. The plan will be moved forwards to tomorrow morning; it is not ideal, but I fear delay will let them sprout, and jeopardise my work entirely. And the vampire will be dealt with.

               She heard that, and stopped. “Dealt with?”

                               Do not worry, child. Some nearby humans have already called the police on the vampire; they will take it away, and I will deal with it from there.

               “What? Don’t do that! Don’t kill her!”

                               You feel strongly about this. Why? You won’t have to be involved-

               “Because that’s not my problem with you killing her! My problem is you killing her…” Noie shook her head. “Oh, my stars, you’re actually… you’re trying to… What is wrong with y- argh!”

               Noie clutched her temples at a flash of light. Her head felt like it was on fire, and the angel’s voice was painfully loud.

                               Do not ask that of an angel. Ask yourself instead why you let your human emotions run unchecked, why you let them jump to such wild accusations of my character.

               Her vision swam. Her legs wobbled. She clutched the counter to keep herself from hitting the ground.

                               Of course I was not suggesting anything improper by apprehending the vampire. ‘Dealt with’ was meant to imply keeping it secure and out of the way, lest it hinders our plan. Lest it gets your brother killed.

                               Human, my intentions are pure. My conscience is clear. I know I am doing what is right. If you must question me, let me ask you this: can you say the same for yourself?

               Noie didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. She heard Lucy Ann calling for Alcor, and she pressed her hands against her ears and shook her head, grit her teeth, held back the scream in her throat-

               Then, suddenly, she felt better.

                               You give a truthful answer. Good. The truth is painful, but it is the only way to forgiveness.

               Shakily, she picked herself up from the counter. Looked around her house with wide eyes, like she was seeing it for the first time.

               “Alcor! Alcor!”

               Hearing her for the first time. She felt herself grimace.

                               You will continue to defend the vampire, won’t you. I suppose I have no choice but to leave it be… so long as you keep it from interfering in my plans - that, I cannot tolerate. But for now…

               Noie grabbed a pen from the counter. She walked over to the door, kneeled down, and carefully etched something into the baseboard. It began to glow a steady blue, and Lucy Ann’s cries faded to eerie silence.

                               I suppose this ward will suffice.

               Noie stared at the ward she’d drawn. She’d never learned how to do that, but there it was.

               She did it for Dipper. To keep him safe.

               A frown. Yes, that made sense.

                               Good work, child. The angel’s voice seemed to fade. I cannot remain here any longer. You must bring Dipper to me in the morning… you will know where to go. In the meantime, keep him safe.

                               At all costs, keep him safe.

               Noie nodded. “Keep him safe. That makes sense. I can do that.”

               She stared at the brightening sky, and clenched her fists.

               “I can do that.”

[welcometocaritas]

‘IF YOU LOVE ME, DON’T LET Go’

First chapter of my yumagna fic is out ladies and gentlebabies!

Chapter: 2/7

Characters: Yumiko & Magna

Pairing: Yumagna

Fandom: The Walking Dead

Format: Multi-Chap

Summary:  At some point, you just have to let go - or so Yumiko keeps telling herself.There was never any letting go of Magna.

Links: A03, FF.NET, Wattpad

A/N: This is a shorter chapter and is basically just a little look at Magna's history (I'll be getting into Yumiko's around about chapter 6).

I really didn't mean to make Magna's backstory as angsty as I did, it just sort of . . . happened as I was trying to figure out where her head's been at with her relationship with Yumiko, and why she's been doing some of the things she has. I don't take some of the situations I've used lightly, especially since they can be extremely triggering for people and I wanted everyone in the fandom to be able to read this. The child sexual abuse is in there because I'm pretty sure that's what the show was implying when they mentioned Magna's cousin. Everything's pretty much implied or referenced. I don't think I go into great detail. There are no actual scenes with the stuff.

So I've done some half-assessed calculations that are probably shit but I'm gonna go with them for the sake of this story - I'm a little worried that lack of sleep might have made me mess up some of the maths but oh well. I used the actresses' real ages for this, went back 10 years to before the apocalypse so Yumiko would have been around 27 and Magna around 22. Now Magna had to have been out of prison long enough to get a job - which is NOT easy to do but I decided to grant her a stroke of luck and had her being out of prison for around at least a year. Now Michonne mentioned hard prison time - whether Magna actually experienced much of this time, or if it was just that she expected to and got a tattoo before being allowed out early is up in the air - and I've gone with giving her about three-four years in prison, because I didn't really want to drop below the age of 17 for her being sentenced. I'm headcannoning their meeting when Miko was 24 and Magna was 19, so about her second-third year in prison.

Also my understanding of the law is . . . not great? I basically only know what I've gleaned from reading about injustices and corruption in the system so if you're a lawyer and notice any mistakes please don't crucify me and I didn't do much research for this story when I normally do heaps cos I wanted to get it finished quickly. However, I have based a lot of the incidents mentioned throughout this fic on real situations/cases that I've read about so there is that element of truth to it. I did my best anyway. I think the issue will be that there are a lot of variations between states and laws changing over the years. I recently fell down a Proven Innocent rabbit hole because Rachelle Lefevre playing a bisexual is hard to pass up and, like with Nadia Hilker, I'm addicted to her hair (Abbey knows I have a hair fetish, she understands my weakness when it comes to these things).

"I learned at a young age that if I was ever going to see justice for the wrongs done to me, I had to find it myself."

― Erin Merryn

. . .

Magna didn't think she'd ever regret what she did - the bastard deserved it, and if the justice system wasn't such a joke she never would have had to go to such lengths - but she did regret what it had done to her relationship with Miko. What she had done. Lying wasn't difficult for her - even if she had always preferred a more blunt approach, along with the honesty that entailed - but lying to Yumiko had been . . .

She'd hated every second of it. Hated even more the toxic resentment that had started to build up inside her as a result, the way a gentle kiss could make her stomach turn, her thoughts sickening her as they bubbled up from the dark pit in which she tried to keep them contained; the number of times a loving look had made her want to snap, to let the truth fly free and watch as everything between them burnt to ashes.

(it'd be everything she had been waiting for, after all - for thirteen years)

Because Miko . . . Miko was so good. And she cared so much, sometimes more than Magna could bear, and none of it was real. All those feelings had grown from a lie that she'd never had the courage to uproot, to set before them and watch as the disgust bled into her lover's - her best friend's - eyes. Because Miko thought she was good as well, and whilst Magna didn't think that what she'd done was wrong, she also knew it wasn't right. Justice, maybe- definitely, but not Miko's version of justice. Not part of the framework she had chosen to study and dedicate her life to. Magna's version of justice didn't fit in her world, couldn't and worse . . .

Neither did Magna.

She hadn't been able to trust Yumiko's love for her, that it could withstand the impact of truly knowing her; and in the end, she'd only sabotaged what she had hoped to protect. She was self-aware enough to realize that part of that had been intentional. When their relationship had crossed over the border of friendship, when they had gotten all that more close, too close, something inside Magna had rebelled. Something panicky and defensive, revolting at the love that was building inside her, the safety she felt lying in Miko's arms (a place she never wanted to leave); that fear that it was only temporary, too temporary, that one day Miko would wake up and realize just who she'd fallen into bed with, and then it would all be over. The longer it continued the worse it would hurt. She hadn't been able to wait around for it to get to that stage. Instead, she'd forced the gears into rapid motion, propelling herself towards that inevitable heartbreak whilst she still had some heart left for herself, before she gave it all away to Miko.

(and deep down, knowing it was already too late, that Yumiko had taken her heart years ago, and Magna had barely murmured a protest)

It had been impulsive. And stupid.

And after everything was said and done it still fucking hurt. It hurt so much she could barely breathe in the aftermath.

She hadn't been able to save herself from that.

And she'd tried to explain to Miko why she'd done it but it had been a poor attempt, born more out of spite than any rational thinking. She hadn't even really tried. Because in the end, she hadn't seen the point. Wasted energy. Wasted hope. She couldn't see a future in which Miko would be able to understand. To understand and forgive her and love her still.

Because she couldn't understand, not really.

(and sometimes she hated her for that)

Because Miko was a good ass fucking lawyer and she had seen the system work as a result, but all Magna had ever known were its failures: how she'd had to move in with her uncle and his wife after her mum had gone to prison for killing her own father, never mind that it had been in self-defense; and later, watching the sick bastard who'd preyed on her cousin be allowed to walk free even after pleading guilty - rather, from what she'd gathered, because he had pled guilty, his easy compliance and willingness to accept a deal leading him to walk free with barely a slap on the wrist fine and a registration as a level 1 sex couldn't even search his name or address on the local registry when he was considered that low a risk.

How the fuck was any of that justice?

Though, she supposed she should be grateful, in a way. That same system that had wreaked havoc across her life had also allowed her to be released after only serving four years - less than - when Miko had found far too many ways to poke holes in her case; much better than the life sentence she'd been staring into ever since she'd left the courthouse for the final time.

To be fair, the case against her had been less than flimsy in the first place, the evidence circumstantial at best - they'd never even found the murder weapon. Surprisingly, all those cop shows she'd binged growing up actually came in handy for something. She wasn't an idiot, she planned ahead, did what she could to cover up.

But she'd also been realistic. She'd known back when the crime was still only a hypothetical in her head that getting away with it wasn't the most likely outcome, that she'd probably go to prison, maybe even for the rest of her life. But as long as he didn't get to live his - as long as he wasn't given a chance to do to another child what he'd done to her cousin -that had seemed like an acceptable price. It wasn't like she'd had much going for her, anyway. Hell, given the state of her bank account and failed education, she probably would have ended up going to jail for petty theft one day, regardless.

And at least you got free boarding and meals in prison - though she would have rather starved and slept on the street than feel so trapped every second of her life, to the point that when freedom did come it was that which felt unnatural to her.

If Magna's court-appointed lawyer hadn't been breaking under the weight of over a hundred ongoing cases she might never have been sentenced in the first place. Not that she had even had it in her to care at the time. Even now, those months were almost a complete blank in her memory. She could remember that she'd been in a daze for most of it, that she hadn't been feeling much of anything - a welcome liberation from the all-consuming rage that had burned within her for months before she drew that knife: not when the police locked her in handcuffs that pinched at her skin; not sitting in that courtroom with the press of too many people's eyes on her; and not when the door to her prison cell had slammed shut for the first time.

She could maybe recall her lawyer snapping at her more than once, frustrated and helpless as she refused to offer more than the occasional one word answer or grunt.

Years later, when Miko had finally come onto the scene, she'd been far more awake to her circumstances; too awake.

But she'd do it all over again, even now. Even with the memory of that look haunting the space between them, the way her heart had drawn in on itself, shuddering under the weight of all the judgment she'd expected but still not been prepared for.

He deserved it.

How could she let him just walk away?

How did Magna explain to Miko that the law she'd devoted her life to was nothing but shit? It was all gone now, anyway, the system that had ruined her life fallen away into dust along with the rest of civilization.

But Miko . . . Miko still looked on that lost world fondly, she missed it in a way that Magna never could and . . . even with all that rage boiling inside of her, begging her for an outlet, she couldn't take that from her; didn't want to.

One of them should have something worth remembering in this nightmare.

Magna could be selfish. She'd be the first to admit it. But she was also incredibly selfish about the people she loved. They came first - and fuck the rest of the world. And Miko . . . Miko was on the top of that list. It had killed her, being stuck in that cave, knowing that she had hurt her, that the last thing she would probably ever do in this sorry life was hurt the only woman she had ever loved.

And she wouldn't do that again.

Except she probably would. Because that's what she did.

She messed everything up. Including her and Miko.

But maybe that was for the best. She and Miko . . . they weren't compatible. They were like oil and water that had fallen into the same bowl and ended up stuck together, but always separate; Magna heavy and sinking to the bottom whilst Yumiko floated to the top, always.

They weren't meant to bond.

(but they did and they did it so well that-)

She didn't think she would ever be as open and trusting as Miko - but life experience warned her that that was probably a good thing, especially if she wanted to survive in a world where the dead wanted to eat you and most of the living wanted to kill you. It scared her, how easily Miko - and even Connie and Luke - let people in. She was terrified it was going to get them killed one day.

Kelly was more like Magna in that respect. They were both always preparing themselves for the eventual fallout. It was why Magna hadn't even had to bring up the idea of creating a stash - they'd both already fallen into the familiar habit of scrounging away what they could. In the past, that kind of safety net had been the difference between life and death. She hadn't felt good about it. Of course she hadn't. She liked the people at Hilltop, as much as she liked anyone who she couldn't allow herself to grow attached to, and she was so fucking grateful to be taken in by them, to finally have a home. But homes never lasted. Even before the Apocalypse they were nothing but a false promise you would end up hanging yourself with if you didn't keep your guard up. And Yumiko, Connie, Luke and Kelly were hers. They were her people. And at the end of the day, they came first. She had to protect them. Even if it meant doing things that they would never agree to, things they might later end up hating her for.

And Kelly. . . Kelly understood that because she was hard in a way that the others weren't and she had Connie. Kelly would do anything for Connie.

The thing was, even if she and Yumiko decided to try again, even if they could move past this, Magna didn't think she could change that part of herself. She didn't want to change it. How could she when it had the potential to keep Miko alive? She would rather destroy their relationship beyond repair than one day have to drive a knife through Miko's skull because she had failed to do the only thing she had ever been any good at - keeping them just that little inch further away from death's door.

Ten years and most of their group was still alive whilst the rest of the world had become a sea of ravenous corpses and that . . . that had to count for something.

It had to.

. . .

"What are you afraid of?

that you love him

or that you 've lost him

either way the heart beating in your chest

didn 't originally belong to you."

— You'll Be Buried With Him Painted Over You by Abby S

  A/N: I tried to think about what kind of life experiences might have shaped Magna to be someone who could do what she did. Cos no matter how many of us might want to punish bastards like that when they do commit these crimes, most of us don't actually do it. There are things that restrain us. Certain moral codes, fear, faith in the justice system, having things that we don't want to lose, not being ready to sacrifice our freedom and our future if we get caught. For whatever reason, most people just don't cross that line. So I thought a lot about what we'd seen of Magna and the kind of person she is and how her past might have shaped her to be able to make that choice. I mean Magna cares about the people she considers hers a lot and she's very protective, so that's obviously a large part of it, but I knew there also had to be more. Also it's my head cannon that Magna loves kids, like they're one of her weak spots, but she keeps her distance from them because they remind her of her cousin, and because of the person she's become since her cousin died. . . . OK, just gonna do a little shameless self-promotion, hope you don't mind :)

I made a yumagna vid so if you haven't seen it already and you're interested it's here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grzrpr0QZEE (I'm gonna do more so if you want to stay in the loop subscribe to my youtube channel. I'll probs end up doing a short one for Unsteady because of this fic but I'm holding out till we get a yumagna hug)

I have an insta for yumagna called @yumagnas.home . my multifandom one is @bonnielextra (lots of awesome women that i make edits for just fyi) and my personal one is @cissyalice. Hit me up so I can follow some more yumagna stans!

My twitter is @bonnielextra and @tocaritas (for my edits). Currently just a lot of crying about yumagna on the first one.

And my tumblr is welcometocaritas. Obviously no pressure to look at any of these but I just thought I'd put them in just case :)

[anarcoqueer1994]

First Date

(Note this is chapter two of a fic I wrote during the hiatus. If you want to read the whole thing, the link to my AO3 is in bio. The only background you may need to know for this is that TJ and Cyrus are dating and haven't told anyone. Also Kira is being terrible)

Cyrus Goodman had asked TJ Kippen to be his boyfriend one month ago today .

TJ still could not believe it. Cyrus was everything he has ever wanted. He was sweet, smart, cute, and he cared for TJ in a way no one has before. But TJ would be lying if he said this month hasn’t been an emotional trip. On one hand, things with Cyrus have never been better. In public, it seemed like their "friendship" was just as strong as it has always been. The only difference being that both boys seemed more aware of their own bodies.

They were more self conscious of all the little touches that come so natural for them. They would notice their arms swinging too close together, their hands lingering a little too long when they would touch, and even their eyes staring at the other boy. This used to seem so normal for them, but now that they were dating, it became almost scary to do these things. Both of them were not ready to come out. The only people that knew Cyrus was gay were Andi, Jonah, Buffy, and obviously, TJ. For TJ it was even less, as the only people that knew were Cyrus and TJ’s older sister, Amber. And absolutely nobody knew that they were dating.

After what Kira started, neither one of them wanted to accidentally out each other by acting like more than friends. That’s why their little touches and lingering eyes became such an issue. Kira could obviously tell how the boys felt about each other within moments of hearing them interact with one another. What if others could tell too?  They decided that the best thing they could do to keep their secret was to place boundaries between them when they are with other people.

On top of this, Kira is also not letting up on TJ. She is constantly trying to get into TJ’s head. The coach told her that since there is girl’s team, she cannot be on the boy’s team. So now instead of putting her energy towards getting on the team, she is focusing all her time on tormenting him. She will wait for him to be alone and remind him that he is different. She will sometimes bring up how weird it is that he and Cyrus are so close. She would do little things to hurt him. Anything she does in front of others is so subtle, that others don't notice. For example she brings up cute girls while talking to him around other students, and puts him in awkward situations. For a random onlooker, it would look like small talk, but TJ knows she is doing it to get a rise out of him. He doesn't know why she enjoys making him feel bad. The one upside is that Kira has no proof that he and Cyrus are together, so for now at least, his bullying is private. TJ prefers that to the whole school knowing.

He doesn't tell Cyrus that Kira is still bothering him either. TJ does not want  him to worry. Besides Cyrus had his own things to deal with. For one, since they haven't told the GHC(+Jonah), that they are dating, they could not really explain what led to them being friends again. He could feel their glares whenever he would hangout. Part of him gets it though. To them, he was a jerk who keeps letting down their best friend. But nevertheless, Cyrus is now stuck in the middle. He has to keep their secret while defending TJ. Cyrus wanted his boyfriend to be able to hangout with his friends without them hating him, even if they did not know that they are dating. TJ kind of felt guilty for putting Cyrus in this situation in the first place by ever giving them a reason to be mad.

Despite all of this trouble, TJ would not trade this past month for anything. No matter what was happening with other people, when they were alone, it made it all worth it. Sometimes they would escape to the swings, and just spend hours talking, and if they were sure no one was watching, they would steal gentle kisses. Sometimes, they would take over TJ's apartment when both his parents and sister were at work. They would cuddle on the futon in the living room and binge TV shows together. It really didn't matter where they were, as long as they were alone together, it was like they were the only people who existed.

Cyrus really did make him the happiest he has ever been. His beautiful, dorky boyfriend always knew the right thing to say to make him feel like he really mattered. That is why today, on their one month anniversary, he wants to make Cyrus as happy as Cyrus makes him feel everyday. It is a Saturday but he put the first part of his plan into action the day prior.

************

Yesterday had been a particularly hard day for him. Kira was in his math class. Usually she ignored him and waited until after to torment him but that day she started at him early. She had sat behind him. They were assigned some in class problems to do. She was pretty good at math and wanted him to feel even worse. Whenever she noticed he was struggling, she would say stuff like “Only an idiot could mess up this problem” and “Wow these are so easy!” She would only say it loud enough for him to hear.He had been working so hard in math and she was able to dash any confidence he may have felt about being able to do a problem. He ended up losing his temper, crumbling up his paper, and turning in nothing. He could not even look at Coleman as he left.

He had walked home with Cyrus, Buffy, Andi, Marty, and Jonah. Cyrus’ friends didn’t help his mood, but to not worry Cyrus, he pretended to be oblivious.  He could tell the others did not want him there but Cyrus kept smiling at him with his big brown eyes glowing, so he could ignore the annoyed looks. Eventually everyone broke off heading to their respective homes, leaving him to walk with Cyrus the rest of the way to Cyrus’ stepmom’s house. As they stepped onto the porch, TJ nervously smiled.

“What is it, Teej? “ Cyrus said as he swung his hand up gently to take TJ’s as they stood across from each other. Both boys instinctively looked around to make sure no one was watching.

“Nothing, Muffin.” He noted the way Cyrus still blushed when he called him that. He liked that he had that effect on the guy that he cared so much for. “I am so happy whenever I am around you.So…” He let his words han in the air for a moment. ‘I was wondering if you would go on a date with me, tomorrow?”

“Like a real date?” Cyrus furrowed his brow in a way that makes TJ swoon every time. Cyrus’ voice though was unsure as he continued. “Aren’t dates out in the public? What if someone sees us?”

“Don’t worry, I have that covered, just be at the bus stop on Main Street at 9am tomorrow, “ TJ saw the look of curiosity in Cyrus eyes as they've stared at each other. “It is going to be a surprise, I know you are going to love it.”

Cyrus smiled and nodded. “Alright I trust you. I have to head in. See you tomorrow?”

“Yea, tomorrow." TJ grinned like an idiot, before placing a light kiss on top of Cyrus’ head, and turning to walk away.

************

The big city nearest to them was about a 30 minute bus ride from Shadyside. That is why TJ asked Cyrus to meet him here at the bus stop.  Cyrus had gotten there at 9am sharp, to find TJ waiting on the bench. He took a seat next to his boyfriend, careful not to sit too close in case someone was watching. TJ turned his head and smiled at the other boy.

"Hey Underdog," He lowers his voice. "Happy one month of officially being us."

Cyrus liked the way that TJ remembered something as small as a one month anniversary. He loved that TJ wanted to make today special for him. He whispers "Happy Anniversary Not-So-Scary Basketball Guy."

Both boys sat in a comfortable silence as they waited for the bus. TJ knew Cyrus wanted to ask where they were going but both boys knew TJ wasn’t going to budge. All he wanted to do was surprise Cyrus with the best date ever. When the bus pulled up to the stop, both boys got on with TJ paying both their fares. He had saved all his money from the gym(he only worked 12 hours a week) the past month to pay for this date. Cyrus was usually picking up the tab because he knew the Kippen family wasn’t nearly as well off as him. But today TJ wanted to handle everything.

As they took their seats in the back, TJ slid into the window seat. He looked out the window and noticed clouds overtaking the sun. Great, rain . He thought sarcastically. He thought about what else may come if it storms. He was a little nervous, but brushed it off. He turned to Cyrus, who was smiling obliviously, and said "There goes that sunny day."

"It is okay, as long as I am with you, it doesn't matter. Today will be great." With that, TJ melted. Cyrus always knew what to say to make him feel better.

************

When they got out the city, it was still so cloudy. It looked like it would storm any moment. TJ pleads with the weather quietly to hold off until they get to where they are going. The bus stop is a block away from where are heading. No one knows them here and TJ is excited to actually go on a real date with Cyrus. He smiles at the shorter boy as they step off the bus. As they stand on the crowded sidewalk, TJ takes Cyrus' hand. He stares for a moment to make sure it is okay. When Cyrus does not pull away, TJ takes that as a hint to start walking. Both boys felt a little braver out here where no one knew them.

TJ pulls Cyrus down the street, weaving in and around people coming towards them. As they get closer to the mystery place, TJ gets more excited, and by the look on Cyrus' face, he feels the same. After a few minutes, the place comes into view. TJ stops at the bottom of a large set of steps. Cyrus' eyes grow large as he looks up at the building before them; The Natural History Museum.

Teej! Really?! I love this place. I haven't been here in years." His eyes light up as he gets more excited. "You are amazing."

"I'm glad you are happy. I figured you could show me all your favorite dinosaurs." TJ smiles softly. "Let's go." TJ pulls him up the stairs. He pulls the tickets out of pocket and hands them to the man near the door.

As they enter the museum, they are immediately surrounded by large skeletons of animals that long been dead. TJ doesn't think he has ever seen Cyrus look so excited. He begins to talk about all the different types of dinosaurs, and the time periods, and everything else that at one point TJ wouldn't of cared about. He is pretty sure Cyrus could make him care about anything.

They wander around the museum for about an hour. Rain had steadily started hitting the rooftop,  the small droplets working together to echo through the museum. It was raining pretty heavy now, and TJ silently began to get nervous again of what will come next. Cyrus noticed the tension in TJ's face and stopped talking about the Allosaurus skeleton they were staring at.

"What is it?" He said quietly to the slightly older boy.

"Nothing..." He lies. Right as the word leaves his mouth, a loud burst of thunder sounds, shaking the museum. TJ instinctively clenches his eyes shut and squeezes Cyrus' hand harder than intended. His cheeks turn red as he notices Cyrus staring.

"I'm sorry..." he whispers, almost too quiet to hear. TJ looks away while still holding Cyrus' hand. Another burst of thunder sounds, making TJ tense again.

"Teej" Cyrus reaches up to his face to get him to turn his head. When he sees TJ's eyes, he recognize fear in his beautiful green eyes. He hates to see his boyfriend afraid. "Are you afraid of thunder?"

TJ looks embarrassed. He can't bring his mouth to form the words he wants to say. He knows Cyrus won’t judge him for something like this. But he is not used to being the one with irrational fears. He wishes he wouldn’t wince every time the thunder boomed. He can’t help it. He has been afraid of thunder for as long as he can remember. He doesn't know what about it makes him feel so helpless. Most of the time, he finds himself hiding under his covers with his eyes shut, waiting for the storm to end. But he can’t do that now. All he can do is try and put on a brave face and ride it out.

Cyrus interrupts his thoughts. “It's okay to be afraid, you know?” His voice is soft and understanding. “I’m afraid of a whole lot of things. Remember the flamingos? That is way weirder” He laughs trying to cheer TJ up. TJ wishes Cyrus wouldn’t put himself down, though. This day was supposed to be all about Cyrus, but here he was trying to make TJ feel better. TJ felt a little bad about that but could not focus on that very long.

The thunder hits again, this time even louder. The storm must be pretty bad. TJ wishes he could disappear so Cyrus wouldn't see him like this. He was supposed to be the cool, fearless jock but right now he felt like a wimp. He wanted to always be brave in front of his boyfriend. Cyrus doesn't seem to care though. He is only concerned with being there for TJ.

Cyrus runs his thumb soothingly over the TJ's strained knuckles. He whispers "I have an idea…", before pulling TJ to a little bench off to side of one of the large skeletons. He pulls out a pair of earbuds from his pocket and plugs them into the jack in his phone. Cyrus flips through his Spotify with his free hand as TJ sits apprehensively by his side, squeezing his hand with every boom from outside. Cyrus settles on a playlist called "Songs That Make Me Think of TJ".  TJ sees the name, and for a moment he smiles, before the thunder outside reminded him of its presence.

"Put these on, sweetie." Cyrus says quietly, careful not to draw attention to them. He would hate to embarrass TJ. He knows the other boy is feeling self-conscious about his fear. TJ takes the earbuds and puts them in his ears. TJ trusts Cyrus more than anyone in the world, so he will do whatever Cyrus says. With that, Cyrus hits play and turns the volume all the way up. He takes his other arm out of TJ’s hand and wraps it instead around TJ's waist pulling him close to him, and holding tight like he will never let go.

The loud, bubbly music blocks out  a lot of the noise from the thunder. Cyrus’ arm wrapped around him, pulling him impossibly close, gives him something else to think about.They sit their for a while. Though the museum is full of people, it feels like they are alone there. His heartbeat is still crazy fast, but the reason is much different now.It was no longer pounding because of fear. Instead it is fluttering from the nerves he feels because of Cyrus. He feels so lucky to have him in his life. He blushes as he listens to the songs that he know Cyrus picked out for him.

What he doesn’t notice, is how happy Cyrus seems to be because of him. Cyrus is just staring at  him, smiling as he holds the taller boy against him. Cyrus hopes that TJ knows that this relationship is not one sided. TJ truly makes him happy. That’s why he was so worried when TJ was scared. He never wants fear to cloud over those soft, green eyes. He will personally fight away any fear for his boyfriend.

After about forty minutes, the storm has seemed to pass. TJ had taken to leaning his head against Cyrus’ shoulder, even if some slouching was involved to get into that position. Cyrus almost hates to end this but know TJ has other plans for them. He softly shakes TJ o get his attention. The boy takes out the earbuds and sits up. Cyrus grins and says “The storm is over, how are you feeling?”

“Much better…” He blushes and looks at the ground. “Thank you...for..um...making me feel safe.” TJ internally rolls his eyes at his own words. Why did he say that out loud. He sounded so weak.

“No need to thank me. What are boyfriends for, right?”  Cyrus’ smile could light up the entire room.

“Right.” TJ really can’t understand how Cyrus manages to make him feel so great, even when he wants to feel bad about himself. He thought about telling Cyrus about what was going on at school. He decided against it though. He already made too much of this date about himself. He stands up, and grabs Cyrus hand again. “Let’s get back to these dinosaurs. There are so many you still have not told me about.”

************

After spending a few more hours at the museum, the boys headed to a restaurant around the corner and had lunch. They strolled through the city for a bit before realizing it was close to 5 and that they should be at least heading back to their town. On the bus ride back, Cyrus rested his head on TJ’s shoulder. Usually Cyrus would be worried about this but today he was feeling a little braver than usual.

TJ walked Cyrus home after they got off the bus. Cyrus’ street seemed vacant when they turned onto it, so they risked locking their pinkies together as they walked. TJ felt like he was on top of the world. Even with the thunder earlier, today had felt like the perfect day. He kept shooting glances over at Cyrus, taking in every detail. He memorized the way Cyrus looked right now with the late day sun shining through the trees onto him. He almost looked angelic, like he was too good to be a mere human.

Without thinking, TJ stops and cups Cyrus’ cheek, making it so they are staring at each other. He just needed to get a better look. TJ surveyed every part of the shorter boy’s face. It was like everytime he looks, he finds something else to love about it. He felt like the brown eyes staring back at him could peer into his very soul. The boys stay frozen in this stance until they hear a soft rustle of some bushes. They both immediately retract from each other, and look around. Neither of them see anyone, but they keep their distance the rest of the walk home, just in case. TJ silently beats himself up for slipping like that. He can’t be so careless.

As they step up onto Cyrus’ front porch, they can finally breathe again. They are covered by a large tree in his front yard that blocks parts of the porch. “Thank you for a wonderful time today, Teej.” Cyrus smiles.

“I should be thanking you, You really came through for me today.” TJ used this as opportunity to show Cyrus how thankful he really was. He leans in and brushes his lips against Cyrus, waiting for permission to deepen the kiss. Cyrus responds by pulling him closer, pushing their lips together more. They eventually had to come up for air, and pulled apart.

“Wow, I don’t think I am ever going to stop being nervous when you do that.” Cyrus said blissfully.

“Right back at you, Underdog.”