#more confident and assertive
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They forgave it when I did it, so why couldn’t I bring myself to forgive and move on when they had done the same?
#maybe because I abandoned them during a time where they had a support system(doesn’t make it any less shitty on my part and I still think#that was the beggining of the end(us drifting apart) )#meanwhile they abandoned me when I had nothing and they were my only light#it would certainly make it easier to forgive if I wasn’t left completely and utterly alone and still had people around me like they did#but it’s still so selfish of me no?#to have taken their forgiveness and not give them the same grace#sighhhh#it all always comes back to the homoerotic crush teen friendship#doesn’t it?#just when I think I’m over her another thing she took from me resurfaces#well something she tangentially took away anyway#perhaps I’m victim blaming myself but it WAS my choice to completely abandon them in the chase after her approval#then again maybe the reason they forgave me so easily was because the inverse had happened even later ago#I don’t think it was a crush situation but#they also fell victim to being isolated and manipulated by someone braver#more confident and assertive#more popular#i guess#textpost#text post#text#txt#txt post#Asher’s Ramblings
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i'm intentionally out of the loop for any and all frevblr beef but it seems just a little bit silly to me to say that there's a "fanon" version of these historical figures and that people should like the REAL version instead. cause like. unfortunately the real version has passed on from this life.... so has every person that knew them....... we think and talk of these people in a speculative and interpretive way not out of preference but because that is the only way that anyone can have any access to them at all anymore! however if you ARE communing with the real saint-just PLEASE let me know
#there are interpretations that are more popular than others and ones that are more justified than others and some that are just Not True#but there is no True interpretation. because that against which to measure it is gone#frev#in the same vein sometimes it is also silly when people try to contrast a fanon interpretation against the TRUE VERSION of a fictional#character. because sure there is bad fanon but like they're not real.... it's all interpretation...........#either way we are dealing with the phenomena of things that definitively do not exist as noumena#so asserting anything confidently about the thing-in-itself immediately becomes absurd
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Hadrian 😳
I love him either way, but I gotta admit, Assertive Hadrian is slowly winning me over.
#I don't know why the picture quality is so terrible on Tumblr#Sorry about the eyesore#Ofc once you're committed to each other Hadrian will gain so much more confidence#but so far Assertive Hadrian is... different#Hadrian#sneak peek#The Golden Rose
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my boyyy
#homestuck#my art#art#artists on tumblr#homestuck fanart#hs#fanart#tavros#tavros nitram#homestuck tavros#hs tavros#he and gamzee are roommates and own a flat together<>#he switches between the robotic prosthetics that equius made him and his wheelchair (i despise how that was done in canon)#i'll post more info on those prosthetics once all of the beta designs are posted#he and nepeta are besties who dork out about comics together#they draw fanart together every tuesday#he's also way more openly assertive around vriska#he's gained a lot of confidence (still working on it but it's a vast improvement from when he was 13)#nitram#tavros fanart
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Not a girlboss, not a girlfailure, but a secret third thing (put into an impossible situation and doing her best despite all the shit the world throws at her)
#this is about#worker ena#from#ena dream bbq#but kept it more vague cause i know people like to tag their blorbos.. feel welcome....#but really. i think ena has elements of both. girlboss is how fucking bad and assertive and charming she is.#girlfailure in how shes so miserable and strange and at times off-putting and how she cant seem to help but leave destruction in her wake#(leading the pets to be eaten leading to alex getting killed destroying shaman's hut maybeeee being the cause of theodora dying and the door#closing...? tho the last one i kinda doubt cause it seems to happen no matter what she does. she just happened to be there for it#actually none of those things are her fault really. but people would probably look down on her and blame her for it for it regardless...)#(....which might be within the same line of reasoning for why shes so hated already actually....)#but either way. yes. shes not some pathetic wallflower. but shes not entirely confident and self-assured enough to be a girlboss either#shes (most likely) a victim of circumstance. shes learnt to defend and stand up for herself yet doesnt respect herself entirely even still.#shes strange and weird but not in a way thats entirely just quirky or cute. but rather it goes hand in hand with her also being cunning and#sly. she fails at relationships but not just because she's bad at them - the world is just cruel to her and doesn't understand her#idk#i could ramble more but you get the idea#shes both and somewhere inbetween. shes (quite literally) multifaceted#i love her....#my own post#ramble#meta
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2 years to the date that all of my hard work paid off and i was able to buy a home for myself and finally, at long long long long last, able to escape my abusive parents house. not just a house, but a home, and that difference has always been important to me. i feel mostly astounded by how quickly the years have passed since then, but also proud. not just of the achievement but also the way that i've been able to get to know myself, develop my identity, and figure out who i am in that short period of time. it's amazing the way you get to flourish in a world with stability (and not just in the material sense but that too!) when you're not spending every second running from and avoiding life altering trauma. i have some really exciting opportunities coming up to better help me work towards that very soon and hopefully the trajectory continues. it was such a difficult 24 years in getting there a couple of years ago and i really didn't think i'd even make it at times but my god it was so worth waiting for.
#mine#24/10/2022#home#and i say develop my identity because i've had to learn to do so many things that i wasn't able to before#most notably: establish boundaries and stop giving a fuck what others think#and stop letting others use me/treat me badly#and in part a lot of that was my responsibility that i didn't uphold. i don't like being a victim.#and calling people out on their bullshit and getting rid of the ones who are awful is just as important as them not doing it to begin with#i still have a long way to go here and in other areas too of course#but the growth ive had in these 2 years has been exponentially more than the amount of growing i did in the 24 before that#but beyond that like#being able to actually leave the house and do things#taught me so much about who i am and what i like and what i want for my life#i thought i knew but i really had no idea#and a lot of that has been reflected through stylistic/physical changes#but ive really gotten a better understanding of the actual person i am#which has in turn impacted my confidence (which took a horrible hit about this time last year i wont lie)#which then cycles back into the assertiveness
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I am still kinda enamored w toxic situationship j3 n Jace now like after that first time j3 comes onto him it takes a sec for j3 to feel ok asking for something again but also he keeps crawling back to Jace for more. Sorry I can’t subject j3 to the niceys
#jan.txt#this does kinda go hand I hand w me confidently asserting Porter thinks j3 is a better lay#Jace is fascinated by that assessment and could not disagree more but it does feel good to take hit shit out on someone#*his shit
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*clutching head* rodya and meursault would have such a good dynamic actually
I wonder if rodya would initially see meursault's indifference as like. a simpler version of her own feigned carefreeness and as a deliberate attempt to place himself as an outsider... only to realise that No, he really Is just Like That. and then she gets annoyed because it turns out that people who don't care about anything don't seem to be any fun.
(ofc he does actually care about a lot of things, just not necessarily his grander place in the world lol)
idk. nihilism vs absurdism. fun duo 👍 rodya would find meursault's genuine comfort with being a speck of dust in the universe baffling, while he would probably find her desire to assert her own importance pointless, but they could probably bond over little things like their shared desire to live in the present and appreciation of/indulgence in earthly joys. and meursault would probably listen if rodya wants to rant about anything without asking any uncomfortable questions. I think they could appreciate each other's presence.
#slamming my conspiracy board#listen it's not my fault meursault vibes with literally the entire female cast#rodya enjoyers help me out here please I haven't read crime and punishment am I talking out of my ass#I just think it'd be kind of interesting if like. rodya kills someone for a very specific reason (to assert herself as special)#while meursault kills someone for seemingly no good reason#but because of time place circumstance etc#meursault is the one made out to be the outsider to society#while rodya goes unacknowledged and all her motives backfire#like I'm not saying that meursault has Exactly what rodya wants or anything#but I think he Does possess a level of guiltlessness that she was trying to achieve through her self-confidence#also I find it interesting how pride is like. a big thing for both of them#like they both have excessive belief in themselves and their own abilities. in rodya it manifests as self-confidence or I guess. an ego#while in meursault it's more about. a belief in his own interpretation of the world rather than himself as a person? I hope that makes sens#also they both reject collectivist ideas which is. fun#neither of them perform to what a society would expect from them but for rodya it's an active effort to assert her individuality#while meursault just Doesn't Get societal conventions from the get-go unless they're explained to him#I think they also both tend to project a lot 💀 meursault expects his own indifference from others while rodya projects her own#experiences onto others' and makes assumptions based on that before knowing the full details#txt#limbus company#I feel too embarrassed to add more specific tags ngl 💀 💀 💀#lcb meursault#lcb rodion#lcb rodya#nvm. feelings of cringe are for Losers I am Strong
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uhh... hey, wikipedia, are we sure Flint is in this picture???
#I'm also puzzled by the assertion that the treasure was buried on August first 1750#I'll have to do some digging into where they got that#edit: ah. they've picked up on a note on the map I hadn't. still they're more specific and confident than warranted#Treasure Island
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I was gonna draw one of the things i promised i'd draw but i ended up sketching species swap Legoharu instead whoops. Idk how this happened
#jk i know exactly how it happened#Beastars manga had a line like 'if Haru was a wolf and I was a rabbit we would have gotten further in our relationship by now'#and it made me start thinkinggg#cus yeah objectively it's way more interesting to have Haru be the small and frail yet way more assertive one of the two#because she can afford it given her species#but also. imagine. big confident wolf girlfriend and her very small very shy very edible rabbit boyfriend. woaow.#just gonna leave that there
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i can’t decide if i love or hate reneé rapp’s inability to give a fuck during interviews
#the way that she was like ‘i didnt even read the script’ was weird to me as an actor?#i love her confidence and assertiveness#but like. sometimes she goes a bit too far imo#and just comes across as rude#and before i hear people say ‘wow god forbid a woman do anything’#i would probably be MORE critical of her if she was a man#reneè rapp#renee rapp#summer says stuff#what would i do if i had not loved queue?#mean girls#mean girls 2024
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little rant below:
we've been living in this apartment for around 5 years now and I believe our second year living here our bedroom air conditioner started malfunctioning. so from that point to the end of last summer (roughly 3 years) we had to deal with excruciating heat (up to 85F at night) throughout the entire summer. maintenance wouldn't replace the machine because every time I put in a request to have it fixed, the unit miraculously worked. and what was frustrating was that I had to explain to them MULTIPLE TIMES that it wasn't working for more than half the day and I was only able to finally get them to replace it by harrassing them on a day it was actively malfunctioning. and after that I never realized just how negatively it was affecting my mental health to have to live like that (sensory issues exacerbated it) for so long that I kinda had this moment of whiplash today when I realized just how different it feels having a working unit on top of a nice dehumidifier lol. I wish i had been more assertive and not afraid to escalate the situation because it wasn't fair to us to have to suffer.
#I've been working on my self confidence and trying to be more assertive and not make myself small#im twying :<
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I never get drunk sad I only get drunk sad after the party ended and I couldnt make out w/ a pretty guy 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔
#ALAS#it was not meant to be 😔😔😔#tani's personal shit#anyway hey he recced me the anime code-geass does anyone have any opinion of it? I saw one of the characters in the wild here but idk#I did watch a random movie bc a pretty girl recced t to me.at a party one time. Kill your darlings or smth#It was a good movie#God I need to be more assertive.... I have the charm but I need the confidence to the follow up 😔😔😔
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I know this is probably not anything profound and maybe people have already said the same thing... But in regards to you talking about your creative writing struggles, just write it. Yeah maybe it sounds stiff and shitty. Doesn't matter. Just write it. Speaking from experience, if you always let that get in the way you'll never actually write and get better.
So just write it, even if it sucks. That's what editing is for.
This is my weird attempt of encouragement but seriously I really hope you can reach a point where the creativity is flowing freely and you enjoy it :)
thanks for this 💖😄 genuinely encouraging
#really im usually a very confident writer. im very comfortable in my world of essays chapters and theses.#but this time it's not argumentative writing and i keep writing it like im trying to persuade my audience#it's coming across as so unnecessarily defensive of the story even before it's fully introduced#from a mechanical standpoint i know it's solid. but it reads as alternately soulless and insecure. distractingly so.#I'm still determined to finish it and i know it won't be a long piece#but it's hard not to feel like im presenting the story like data points in an evidence arc rather than plot points in a narrative arc#and yes yes I'll edit#but it's less about style and more about composition and scale#im so used to 'make your assertion; provide evidence; analyse your case study to demonstrate your assertion'#that even when the sentences are well formed and individual bits sound ok it still feels like...#idk what it feels like. sparknotes? or a powerpoint presentation of the plot like a pitch meeting?#again ill still write it#i like the idea and im determined to get it down#im not about to give up because im not instantly amazing at something i havent even seriously attempted since i was 14#in all likelihood if i get it to a place i like I'll probably submit it somewhere anonymously or under a pseudonym#and wash my hands of it content that i got it out of my head#asks#anon
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Nothing is gonna top Plutomon as a fucked up maternal figure for me, I'm afraid lol
#I KNOW I'VE SPUN MY WHEELS A LOT ABOUT THIS BUT AH#I don't think I'll be able to like any other iteration of Plutomon lol (preemptively hating the next Story game? Maybe)#Anyway#Plutomon is like a load bearing wall in my love for Survive tbh lol#BUT IT'S SUCH A FUN TAKE BOTH FOR PLUTOMON AND AOI#Like it's not just that she wanted to be more confident and be respected and have authority is that she was already in positions that#Should've enabled her to exert such assertiveness but her self-consciousness dutifulness and self spokeness (THE FORMER WHICH IS DEEPLY#INTERTWINED TO HOW SHE CURATES HER OUTER PERSONA TO BE ABLE TO FIT IN/FULFILL THE EXPECTATIONS ON HER BUT ALSO LIKE. HER IDEA OF MANTANING#HARMONY BTW)#Anyway all of those hamper her and end up with her being taken advantage of and such bubbling anger and resentment it's just fucking great#That in the end she ends up embracing a role that has power/authority by design#And won't hesitate to flaunt it and how it compounds with her rigid thinking ofc she always knows best and she can't afford anyone the#Freedom to make mistakes or act selfishly (and you know that last part is super loaded she really grew to Hate your guts!!!)#Ah I love her character it's got pretty interesting nuances and fine points lol#And it always feels great to spin my wheels about this
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On my way to some teamleading seminar and I'm wearing a bright purple video game shirt an orange Beanie and sometimes I think it wasn't a good idea to let me make fashion choices by myself...
But I'm thinking I'm already going to be the youngest person there so might as well make the others feel out of touch.
Like watch me arriving 5 minutes late with an overpriced coffee and tell these people that I managed to get their job in less than a year when they've been working 5+ years to get to a position like this.
#this is me shaking off my insecurities#I'm really fucking nervous because everyone will probably think I'm just a kid and that I'm actually terrible at my job#which I sometimes think I am because I'm trying to accommodate everyone and apparently that's not a good idea with some of my 'coworkers'#but I've always been scared of authority figures so I'm trying to basically be a good boss so no one else feels the way I did/still do#and it's not fucking working and I've gotta get more assertive but I don't want to be an asshole which apparently I need to be#i'm rambling#all my confidence from writing the og post is gone now by writing the tags#but also it's kinda nice to let it all out
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