#more stuff from behind the scenes
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Hobie intro animation concept to final scene
#more stuff from behind the scenes#just thought it would be fun to compare them#also you can see in the 3rd gif that they intended for him to have even more visual effects/filters#but they decided to tone it down cause they felt like he was āstealing the sceneā whenever he was on screen#as if I'm not staring at him in every scene he's in anyways#like the only way to make him NOT steal the scene is to not have him in the scene to begin with WHICH I DO NOT RECOMMEND lol#hobie brown#spider punk#across the spider verse#atsv#across the spiderverse#spiderman across the spiderverse#my post#my gif#my gifs
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Behind the Scenes shots from Good Omens Season Two Crowley and Aziraphale in Edinburgh
#good omens#david tennant#michael sheen#i'm such a behind-the-scenes junkie#the edinburgh costumes are my favorites#and I love crowley's curls too#fingers crossed we'll get more BTS photos someday#crowley and aziraphale#from s2#ineffable husbands#gos2#good omens season 2#goBts#stuff i posted
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amazing digital circus would be so alright if it was good
#juney.txt#it's not a show i hate but wow the writing just isn't there#there's a whole lot of#shit just arbitrarily happens. we're doing this emotional scene where we SUBTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:tm: hint at lore or character development#uhhhhh just because the writer says so i guess. it doesn't really feel natural or properly built to it usually just kinda happens.#there are moments it *doesn't* feel like that. the kinger and pomni stuff comes to mind as a rare exception#but for the most part it feelsss. cobbled together. inelegant.#half of episode one is just characters going ''huh?? what??? what is happening i don't understand???''#and it's usually to things the audience has figured out the general gist of within two seconds of seeing it. it's very awkward#idk i'm too sleep deprived to put my criticisms more concretely and into words. hence putting all this in the tags#writing is hard. the team behind the show just kinda don't have a grasp on what to do with it.#everything else about the show is technically competent#editing. cinnamon topography. animation. sound design. lighting and colour.#acting is a little rough but to be fair. like i said they're not working with the best writing#and also find me literally any piece of media from the past ten years with good acting#it's a dying art i tells ya
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I'm not even 15 minutes into rewatching Interstellar and I think there is a chance my imagination is running wild again . . .
I have at least half a loose fic plot already hELP.
#okay brace yourself these tags are gonna be long. sorry in advance. now picture this:#carlando are on earth. carlos goes on the mission to find a new home for humanity. lando stays behind and is upset about carlos leaving#the mission also includes oscar. martin is on earth and one of lando's friends who supports him while he's missing carlos#osc and carlos start on the wrong foot but get along more along the way. idk who else is on the mission use your imagination for now#yadda yadda space shenanigans . . . relativity . . . fun stuff#black hole time. carlos sacrifices himself to save osc so that he has a chance to find a new home for humanity#osc is devastated. carcar crumbs. they were all they had left for a while. and now osc is alone#carlos gets a message back to lando thanks to black hole magic. lando realizes that carlos never abandoned him at all.#lando leads the project to save humanity from earth w/ carlos' intel. once successful he goes on to live a long full life.#as much as he still loves carlos he knows that he might not come back until the very end of lando's life. if at all.#he knows carlos wouldn't want him to be alone and unhappy if he couldn't be there. norrix becomes canon and they have a happy life together#carlos is found many many years later virtually unaged thanks to relativity. he has a chance to say goodbye to lando who's very very old#he's happy that he helped save earth and that lando was able to have a good life. he missed so much time but at least it was worth it#there's just one more thing he feels the need to do. osc is still out there. on the planet that will be humanity's new home. all alone#he commandeers a ship and goes to find him. he has lost so much already . . . but he has a chance to hold onto at least one thing#he loved lando with his whole heart. and even though lando is gone . . . maybe he can still have a happy life of his own#*and scene*#yeah i think that's like half the plot right there . . .#i'm committing. it's going on the list#interstellar au#which at various times will feature:#carlando#norrix#carcar#this is one of my top 10 fave movies this project will definitely receive a lot of care
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My brain has basically fully convinced itself that Megatron is going to die in the Transformers One sequels, specifically in self sacrifice to defeat the Quintessons
It keeps appearing in my brain, itās basically solidified itself as a concept now
#problem is mainly that the framing ends up maybe being too similar to the original Fall#with Megatron dropping Optimus and a severed limb (though itās Megatronās now as OP wouldnāt let go)#and also this time itās to get Optimus to safety off a Quintesson ship while Megs stays behind to die#and also maybe the noise being replaced entirely with music for added drama#though that may also be because Iām listening to the music from the actual scene right now#my brain has also now added the idea that maybe his sacrifice was for nothing as more ships show up#but no thatās probably too much#this isnāt Halo Reach the Transformers are supposed to prevail#but anyways yeah#mental telephone has now convinced me this is real#I both do and donāt want it to be real#I think itād be really cool#and maybe your best way to redeem him if heās done too many crimes at this point#but also Iād be sad bc no happy ending for him and Optimus#but thatās what fanfictionās for#transformers#transformers one#megatron#random stuff
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So many people -- especially cis men -- not understanding why Elisabeth takes the Substance in the first place, and then continues to take it, despite Sue destroying her/them, is really frustrating for me to see.
Listen. If you make a video essay or write an analysis or whatever, but you don't understand possibly the most important theme of the entire movie, then maybe... do more research first and don't just continue to say everything about said theme is "stupid" because you fail to understand it. That is stupid.
Elisabeth is plagued by intense self-hatred that's been fuelled and made worse by outside forces; i.e. comments made about her age, body, importance, and worth -- and how all of that depends on her being young and sexy; but also just the general misogyny in our society and the industry she works in. People, who have been assigned female at birth, are confronted with that kind of misogyny from day one, essentially.
And Elisabeth is so desparate in the movie, so full of raging hatred toward her own ageing body that she'd do absolutely anything to "go back" and continue to live the life she's known best and felt "most comfortable (worthy)" with. Thus, the Substance is the very real chance she gets to do that with. It works well at first, until "Sue" becomes too greedy, for the lack of a better word.
Here's the thing where most people get confused, despite how much the movie emphasises it.
Elisabeth and Sue are one. They are still the same person, simply split into two bodies, but with one singular consciousness, which basically goes from one body to the other week after week. They both experience the same things every week, but are so dissociated from the "other self" that to some people it may seem like they aren't actually the same person, because Sue often doesn't seem to remember exactly what Elisabeth did during her week, and vice versa.
To me, that's not as confusing because I deal with dissociation myself, and my understanding of it here would be that Elisabeth's self-hatred forces this kind of dissociation between her true self and Sue, who is the perfect version of herself. She's so focused on Sue being perfect and better than her "true self" that they've become different people in her mind.
In her own mind, she can't associate Sue with herself, with Elisabeth, because she -- as Elisabeth -- is nothing like Sue (anymore) and could never be her. Elisabeth, now, only exists to further Sue. To keep Sue alive and successful and living her dream, Elisabeth needs to exist. But that's all the purpose she really has now. Of course, yes, she tried to actually live a normal life as Elisabeth in the beginning, but she was unhappy and couldn't do it because this self-hatred had gotten the best of her. All the time, she could only anticipate to be Sue again and continue to live her "true life".
This kind of self-hatred is incredibly vicious. Every chance Elisabeth had to go back to being just her, she couldn't take it. Even when she ended up terminating Sue, she regretted it and tried to reverse it, which ended in her death.
Self-hatred is not logical, and it can and does alter somebody's perception of themselves and the world around them so much that it can and does result in that person's death, be that figurative or literal. Unless, of course, that person gets the help they need. But for that, they'd have to actually admit that something is "wrong", and also be ready to change things.
I think it says a lot about how necessary a movie like this is when so many people misunderstand it, despite being so obvious with everything it's trying to say. A lot of people have complained about The Substance not being a subtle movie, yet at the same time, those people are most often the ones, who question Elisabeth's motivations and don't understand the most important theme of the movie -- self-hatred.
#the substance#the substance 2024#i genuinely dislike reading or watching anyone talk about this movie because 90% of the time they misunderstood the core message/theme#and then complain about it or call all the decisions made based on it 'stupid' like???#it's even more baffling to me when they have evidently done a lot of research on the movie with interviews and behind-the-scenes stuff#like how can you miss that then??? what???#but again most of these came from cis men so i'm not *that* surprised#like sure maybe it's so obvious as a theme to me because it felt like a mirror being held up to my face as I've been dealing with-#-intense self-hatred all of my life and still do. but like... come on.#really hate seeing a movie like this so misunderstood and memed at the same time like shut uuuppp not everything has to be made into a joke#it's so disrespectful too like ugh at least try to take something seriously for once#it's okay to have fun with things but you know what i mean. i hope.#i've been meaning to make this kinda post for MONTHS now but i wasn't quite ready to put it into words and share it until now lol#jesse.talks
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So, in your last post about the Percy Jackson TV show, I felt you lacked a few pieces of information/points. While it is true that the CGI in the film is pore and not constructed well, please note that while they have a large budget Disney has made a lot of restrictions to the show. In the original scrips there was a significantly larger amount of violence that would have needed more CGI. This was latter edited out of the script due to both restrictions and budget cuts for other parts in the show(sadly). Also to bring into prospective Sea of monsters the movie was made 10 years ago. Inflation has juristically affected the way money is used in films. Another thing to note is typically movie budgets are less than TV shows because they only are filming for one larger block of time. TV however they can take years meaning the acters need to be paid even for the time off set. This is not to say movies cannot take years, but it is to show that TV shows are filmed longer. I would also like to say I am genuinely not trying to be rude or unkind about your opinion and thoughts on the subject. I am just someone who has a different insight into the topic because of the things I know about the topic (I myself, am an actorĀ and for the most part I think this is why the CGI was not the best as well as some of the script work).Ā
I did actually calculate inflation for Sea of Monsters versus the PJO TV show. We know the PJO TV show allegedly had a budget of $12-15 million per episode. For comparison, this is the type of budget Disney+ usually uses for stuff like The Mandalorian. I was doing a generous underestimate for the entire season which comes out to $96mil (12mil per episode x 8 episodes). Sea of Monsters' budget was 90mil. Here's that inflation:
So lil over $120mil. Going for a top estimate for s1 of the show (15x8) that's $120mil. And as far as I'd heard that may also not include stuff like budget for casting for the show. They are still roughly in similar ballparks.
Regardless of this - as an animator, i can tell you there is no excuse for that wonky CGI trident other than it being extremely quickly done. That's literally a transform error, like ctrl+t type stuff. That is a lazy and cheap trident, probably because Disney notoriously overworks and cheaps out with their CGI. The CGI problems in the show are majority because Disney's being cheap about it. This shows in nearly all the CGI in every episode.
If they had to remove violence from the script and so remove CGI scenes with it, then theoretically they should have more room in the budget for more or better CGI where it already is in the show. That money doesn't just vanish. Changing that in the script gives them less of an excuse, actually.
Also, as i mentioned in my previous post - if you don't want to CGI hydrokinesis, don't pick the franchise where the main character's defining power is hydrokinesis. If you can't have much violence, DON'T PICK THE GREEK MYTHOLOGY SERIES WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER BEHEADS TWO PEOPLE IN THE FIRST BOOK AND IT ONLY GETS BLOODIER FROM THERE. You cannot have PJO without some level of violence. It's kind of very inherent to the series. Rick actually talks in his original Teaching Guide for The Lightning Thief about how, in argument against attempts to ban TLT (in this specific instance for "being too violent"), that monsters in the books poof into golden dust for a reason, because then they haven't "died." There is no blood. They can and will come back. Because it's fantasy. That is the excuse for all the violence. Of which there otherwise technically is a lot of.
If you are doing live action PJO you are going to have to have some amount of violence (and there is absolutely a level that is perfectly suitable for a PG13 audience. The show right now is leagues below that level. PG13 just means parental guidance for under 13 - this majority has to do with concerns about children under 13 replicating behavior on-screen. Past 13 kids know better than to do that, which is why that rating is a thing. There are plenty of film/media/etc that are way more gory and violent and are still PG13). You are going to have to CGI monsters/creatures to some degree regularly (alongside demigod powers like Percy's hydrokinesis even more regularly). And between those two things, characters are going to have to look like they're physically interacting with the CGI at times. Disney is capable of doing this. Disney does have the budget for this for the show. They're not doing it because they're being cheap. Disney has done this before and does it regularly. This is not anything new. It entirely has to do with CGI not having as many unions. They have no excuses. If they didn't expect to run into these problems then they clearly did no planning for what adapting the series would entail and didn't think at all of what the series actually featured before diving into it. And they have no excuse for that! That is step one!
#pjo#riordanverse#pjo tv crit#ask#Anonymous#long post //#listen if a disney exec wants to pull out the LITERAL RECEIPTS and prove me wrong. show me the EXACT pjo tv budget and how they spent it#be my guest! show me! i *want* to see it! i wanna know where all that money went. im interested in that kind of boring stuff.#like cmon having LMM cant have drained the budget that much alone#so either something is up and/or it is HORRIBLY mismanaged behind the scenes. which they have no excuse for.#they have the means to have it NOT be horribly mismanaged#and trust me i am actually familiar with what goes on behind the scenes at Disney. I know how the sausage gets made and etc#like i dont personally work there but i *am* familiar on a personal level with it. this isnt just a I Watched A Documentary#like i have been personally toured around the studios and studio lots and told about all this type of stuff in different departments#ive taken classes from active and former disney employees as well before. i know more about disney than i prob should lmao#i know these things and disney does not have an excuse for what theyre doing here. it's just kind of sad and lackluster.#really though if anybody wants to show me an itemized list of the pjotv finances i will happily take it#disney? disney? pspspsp? i just wanna look
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i think it'd be really fun to play around more with the veteran contestants being more experienced than the newbies
#like like#paintbrush and nickel reminiscing about the time they had to jump into elephant poop and suitcase looking at them horrified#taco humming āshe forgotā under her breath and mic asking about what shes humming#fan being really Normal about ii and ranting about the show to paintbrush and PB being like āyeah i know buddy i was on itā#and fan asking for special behind the scenes facts#lightbulb randomly mentioning the one time they tried to break out of idiotic island and trophy being like WHAT#and also it could be fun to do some less lighthearted stuff like suitcase feeling even more isolated from baseball and nickel because they-#have so much history and nickel actively treats suitcase like an outsir#explodes i hate them#ii#inanimate insanity
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There is a super annoying review of Lady and the Tramp on here trying to say that the film isn't about classism. While half-baked yes, I think it is very clear, ESPECIALLY with the historical context of romance films that came out at the same time, that it can't be seemingly pushed to the side simply because it is used as "dressing" for a film otherwise about dogs falling in love.
#felt very back-handed as a review#idk maybe I am sentimental because I have a bit of a personal connection to the film#but I do consider myself cognizant of film history and historical trends in the united states and I think the film picks up on these#whether they be intentional or a result of the way the theme of romance was handled back then#so many 40s and 50s movies are very pre-occupied with 'forbidden love' and the impact of marrying into your class or not#it drives such a hard stone that you get cases like in philadelphia story where the female lead#goes for cary grant despite (arguably) showing more of a connection to jimmy stewart because cary grant's class#would be the least controversial option#in a film going into the new hollywood era onwards I think in the face of a similar plot they would do the latter#idk I think a LOT more behind the scenes stuff went into play to make the script what it is#which explains the romance and themes being loose and somewhat rushed#but I don't see the classism aspect as ignorable as this reviewer put it#this is going to sound rich coming from me avid cartoon over-analyzer#but it feels like people settle for too high expectations when they make reviews#like idk are you expecting kubrick level work or something? chill out and lend precedence to what is already there#or whatever people are allowed to not like some films#I just think some ppl don't really know what they are talking about oops#lady and the tramp#lady and the tramp analysis#midnight matinee#squack
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How to Super Boop & evil Boop on desktop.
Super Boop:
Hold down/hover over the boop paw button or the boop back prompt for at least one rotation cycle of the text or paw.


Evil Boop:
Hold down/hover over the boop paw button or the boop back prompt for at least three rotation cycles of the text or paw.


I hit post limit so apologies if I can't post this guide in time. š©š
#that's how you do it; I wonder if anyone's found any secret other ways to boop people#maybe six rotations for a super evil boop or 9 idk#these from what i've seen also won't increase your boop meter by any means; just adds 1 more boop#it will however make you stand out in the person's boop notifications as their own notification rather than being grouped in#wonder what would happen if like 100 or 45 people all evil boop or super boop at the same time#would it group them up in notifications then or would it still have them be separate??#more behind the scenes stuff about this update I guess via this how to guide#if anyone has any insight into how it works on mobile or even mobile browsers like safari please let me know!#mine#op#april fool's day#boop o meter#evil boop#super boop
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Part 1: Mad King's War
Prologue: Diverged History(pages 17-21)
< prev | start | next >
#myart#fanart#fire emblem#naesala#chrom#fe frederick#tellius#fire emblem awakening#Fire Emblem Wrong Bird au#FE WB au MKW#FE WB au MKW prologue#good time to remind yall im still fucking around and finding out when it comes to drawing these guys#expect inconsistency for awhile when it comes to outfits or goddess forbid wings#...yeah im still trying to figure out how i want to draw wings#blah blah you've heard me mention i barely prepared for making a fancomic a million times by now just add that to the list too#inconsistency aside we can *finally* move scenes#and by we i specifically mean me cause im the only guy behind this nonsense#unfortunately it just goes from barren field to a field with a tree and mountain/hill thing in the distance#genuinely forgot that existed in-between the starting field and the burning town for the beginning of Awakening#but that's why you double check stuff folks! ...especially since it'll be awhile before canon gets to truly diverge#well i guess diverge more since technically already has diverged#point is i can't get to what i consider the cool shit for this au until i properly set the stage#either way i am still enjoying myself with this and whilst small i am noticing my artstyle progress so extra fun to see that play out#but anyways that's enough rambling from me this time#happy new years btw
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Honestly mon-el is hardly the worst instance of bland white hetero male character from the cw, but when you consider the circumstances of his character being introduced (abusive misogynistic showrunner self inserting) and the show he was introduced to (a show supposedly centered around a woman, with the ostensible purpose of her breaking free of the shadow of her more popular male counterpart) it does shoot his utter unlikeability through the roof past his more onerous peers.
see i wasnāt around in s2 so i didnāt/donāt know any of the behind the scenes stuff about the character choices or anything. i popped in right around the end of s4 i think and even then, years on, there was a lot of hatred toward mon-el that imo had the bang of a specific type of terminally online tumblr-callout-post off it. like just weeklong threads fighting with karamels and big huge posts about how problematic he was etc etc when honestly heās like⦠fine, in the context of what he is, which is a cw character.
i honestly believe mon-el (and winn to an extent) both were victims (in this fanbase) of the modern online thing where we strive to equate unlikeability with moral failings to prove our own points; like itās not āi hate this guyā itās often āi hate this guy and he is problematic and hereās a callout post listing why.ā and i totally fell for it because i went into this rewatch waiting for him to be this horrific unlikeable scumbag and he was pretty much fine.
obviously i donāt like the guy because straight men annoy me and we all know karaās rightful place on earth is on her knees between lenaās legs, but all in all the ire that this fandom had for mon-el really does feel quite pearl-clutchy and overblown in retrospect lol
#i hope internet culture takes a turn to just being haters again#instead of morally pure haters#the word problematic should be martian wiped from our brains for a few years#so we have time to just learn how to organically be haters again#i dont need a reason baby iām just a professional at this !!!!!#also idk why everyone always shit on winn i loved him that was my boy#answered#anonymous#anyway all this to say anon i think we agree here so i hope you dont take this as an argument; iād say the behind the scenes stuff prob left#a bad taste in a lot of peoples mouths#im off to go google about it now bc i didnt realise there was More To It
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" just...come here. just sit here with me" (...that one scene from princess momonoke, click for better resolution)
#tw death mentioned for the tag rambles!! (sorry)#meme redraw gone wrong (high effort). don't ask me how i did this- i don't know either. consider this perhaps an AU of the pyre scene?#or more accurately just my internal wonderings visualised. sometimes the vibes from the implications don't pan out the same way#i also lost the original sketch somewhere in my papers. alas. i vaguely recall thinking this would be haha funny and then somewhere down#the line it turned to angst. other quotes that inspired this from the show were 'ily. i'm sorry' and 'i will always be so proud of you'.#smth smth they met on the roof!! vincent stops quincy from jumping off and then. vincent tries to die + eventually quincy kills him on the#very same roof. anyway the quincent death scene was spinning around for a bit in my head and out of the miscellaneous sketches this won out#wanted to play w the strong blue lighting + bg + silhouette things that you get w stage lighting // replaced the knife w vincent's scalpel#quincy is kneeling bc poses + idk why it's fun staging for him ;-; // also the proximity + intimacy.. // the pyre is also in the bg#but it's silhouetted behind quincy. i think the last quincy post made me associate symbolism (help??) bc as i was painting i was thinking o#angel wings ksdjfh // not to mention the halos. halos are always fun to paint.. shiny stuff...#and from the last vincent art. i guess the star and eye imagery carried over. hm. tried to get the quincy halo to match so its like a#rounder less spiky star? which hehe aligns w the sun vibes (that i??can't explain??) but more importantly here i was thinking about#binary stars for the glowy parts. two in orbit in pull to one another.. tension.. ue. also the glow for vincent goes to stabby eye so like#behind the face shown to viewer. meanwhile for quincy it goes in front of the face#and of course u have the downward linking implied line from quincy's tears +scalpel + glowy eye.#this is supposed to be rotatable.. in landscape form u can have either quincy or vincent upright (pov) + it should work both ways#//bonus stuff is vincent holding the skask w bloody hands + shadow looks like blood spatters. like it would if quincy did the stabby.#hhhh this is the most. confused i have been making a piece lately.. just toss in a lot of fun visual stuff and mix..#if the rambling analysis here seems pointless and confused i think that's why. this is why u should plan out your essays o.O..#oh. stuff i just remembered: the whole impetus for vincent planning his own death was so quincy would be happy / it's already#mentioned before quincy kills vincent that he's severely injured- vincent says it's fine- ig u could intepret it as a finishing blow?#hastened over the phaethon announcement- when they make the second announcement quincy looks up smiling until the admin gives it to#beatrix-he didn't know.. // <- so for this it's possible to infer that vincent wasn't very attached to living anymore.. hence why they look#more accepting above. while quincy is looking very angsty and conflicted. yeah.. // tldr! don't look into it too deeply it's a meme redraw#adamandi#quincy cynthius martin#vincent aurelius lin#tw knife
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I wanted to say that your 3D rendering is some of the best and aesthetically pleasing that I have seen in so long, it's my absolute favorite...! You are so talented. Thank you for always blessing my eyes with your beautiful work.
Thank you so much!! I've got a lot in store for this year already, so I really hope you'll enjoy seeing everything else I have to share with you all!
#ask#asks#i'd like to post some more in-progress and behind the scenes stuff as well since i always really like to see that from other people
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i miss renrennnnnnnnnn
#woke up this morning and thought of him so now yāall have to think of him too#and so. once again. i try to bypass the preview website paywall for the renren chapter⦠(iām not successful)#i want to see more of him (itās a need at this point) iāll settle for it if he shows up on the cover for vol 2 (im begging)#though i also wouldnāt mind if sahara āconconā yuna shows up on vol 2 instead!!!! womenās wrongs yay#iād l o s e it if he turns out to be another sicks and. like. dates nagisa while chizuhiyo becomes a thing#(all while concon and juri become bffs in the bg and bond over styling tips or sth)#i hope he gets a focus song some time soon (pls) i need him to inject some sanity into the chizuutan manga#though for some reason i think he looks like heād be voiced by ono.kenā¦#he just has that vibe to him idk w h y#but. man. i want to see where he is and what he does during the events of the 2nd half of the [redacted] anime#i think itād be super funny if renren and concon had to smack some sense into chizuutan behind the scenes to get her to make up with hiyo#yes itād retcon. like. chizumamaās permission of hiyoās unlawful entry but the [redacted] anime retcons everything anyway so why not#if the [redacted] anime can retcon yukoās relocation to france the chizuutan manga can totally retcon a buncha other stuff r i g h t ā#ok yup yeah enough renren thoughts for today; thereās not enough non region-locked info about him yet after allā#s o b s why is the chizuutan manga so hard to access worldwide why must you gatekeep renren from usssssss
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Waugh. Forgot to charge my phone before bed so I have to charge it now and since Apple is evil and removed the headphone jack I canāt listen to a podcast to fall asleep :(
#I move a lot in my sleep so I canāt use Bluetooth earbuds cause Iād lose them#but I canāt plug in my corded earbuds while charging my phone and itās close to dead#and my partner is a light sleeper so I canāt play it out loud#I struggle to fall asleep without something to occupy my mind because#my brain has too much room to worry and then it fixates on my health stuff and gets hyper vigilant about symptoms#and like. nausea is one of those things where the more you think about it the more you feel it#Iām very aware that I need to get my brain back to a point where it can tolerate lack of stimulation#and I am actively working on that during the day#but because my health flare ups tend to be worse at night my anxiety around them is also worse then#because itās predicting a pattern#and I desperately need sleep because I already donāt get enough and am often fatigued so Iāll give in to my brainās demands if it means#falling asleep faster#like itās a difference of taking twenty minutes to fall asleep versus three plus hours#anyway. I like to listen to asmr videos cause theyāre relaxing and they help me sleep#if Iām having a harder time managing the anxiety then I listen to things like q and aās with creators of podcasts or shows I like#because itās engaging enough to stop my brain from having room to worry#I frequently re listen to the TMA q and aās and other behind the scenes stuff#canāt listen to the main podcast at night cause itās horror but I think that#because itās a big interest of mine right now and Iāve listened to it so much#I find Jonny and Alexās voices really comforting#so I resisten to the behind the scenes stuff a few times a month#the wizard speaks
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