#msmimundo

[msmimundo]

Your Perry the platypus art is so cute! With the fluff fur...but now I want to see bathed Perry, you know that trope of a cat/dog getting wet and being a huge ball of floof? :D

THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU <333

Fluffy Perry is canon we saw in that Meap episode and again in that s5 ep where Candace bathes him, we didn't see it but it happened trust

[slushie5544]

(1/2) A New Year, Same Old Love

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62014474/chapters/158590699

Yes this is based off @msmimundo ‘s new years comic! It started as a one-shot but then this happened so enjoy the first part of this Perryshmirtz New Years two-shot (If you squint enough this could be a song fic..)

Word count: 2,508

“Five! Four! Three! Two! One!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!”

A bright purple blast from Heinz’s disguised inator blasted over the crowd of excited partygoers as they blissfully watched the New Year ball drop; not even registering the unknown light that flashed over them. However, Perry didn’t move from his spot, with arms crossed over his chest and a neutral expression he merely watched as his long-time nemesis finally ‘defeated him’. Even when Heinz gloated about his success and tried to get everyone to follow him to take over the Tri-State area, the platypus stayed in his seat. He knew this plan wouldn’t work out as someone mentioned, -no one ever keeps their New Year resolutions!

Hey, it was a New Year, and even an ‘evil’ scientist deserved a win occasionally. It was a short-lived victory, but seeing that wide, crooked smile and hearing his boisterous laugh made it worth it for the platypus. Perry had to fight back his smirk when he noticed how frustrated Heinz was becoming at the realization that his plans were once again foiled; it was a silent joy the agent took pleasure in. That is until he was called out for still throwing his usual punches and over-the-top cartoony violence despite knowing what would happen. His eyes softened and shoulders raised with a grin curling the side of his beak- because that’s what they do!

Finally, figuring his job was done here, Perry hopped down from the stoop and b-lined it for a side door before any of his family members noticed his presence. Just barely making it to an exit, he looked over his shoulder at the large monitor broadcasting the kids celebrating together back at home. Heinz was gone from the stage, something panged within his chest, but the platypus shook his head and turned to the mob of people near the dancefloor- He couldn’t have gone far.

Couples, friends, and family were all gathered together too enthralled in each other’s company to pay much mind to anything else around them. On the other side of the room were three familiar faces he had been trying to avoid all night- Oh, the irony.

However, instead of turning away, Perry paused and watched his family members enjoy their night together. Candace and her boyfriend were almost like a couple from a fantasy, their sways and spins had them completely take up the room, but their focus was solely on the other. It was as if they were in a fairytale just like the stories Linda would tell her daughter on nights when the little girl couldn’t sleep. Though he’d never admit it to himself, Perry enjoyed the stories as he curled up at the end of her bed to keep company on those especially hard nights. Seeing Jeremy dipped and twirled, Candace brought back that strange tightness to the agent’s chest, but he quickly shook the feeling with a roll of his eyes. He had to remember this was reality, not some made-up fantasy world! Besides, Perry never saw himself as any of kind ‘prince charming’ he always preferred the idea of being a knight instead; plus Heinz would never accept being the ‘damsel in distress’!- Maybe some kind of mischievous alchemist or a warlock.

As both teenagers continued maneuvering through the crowd he spotted Linda and Lawrence dancing together. With interlocked fingers and slow steps together, the married couple leaned their heads against one another while blindly guiding each other. They didn’t need to open their eyes though, having done this dance hundreds of times all they needed was to trust one another. It was as if they were completely cut off from the party’s loud and lively atmosphere; instead, they were lost in each other’s presence and went at their own pace. It was a type of love that only bloomed after years of knowing and accepting one another from the inside and out. From the smallest quirks to even the downright insane ideas they come up with because they were meant for each other as husband and wife. The two embraced one another in a kiss which Perry had to tear his eyes away from to look at his empty teal paws which clenched then opened against his chest- What color would look the best if that ever happened? Wait…

Before his thoughts could get the best of Perry he turned to the exit door that had been his escape route only to be met by a pair of legs that blocked the path. However, his mind only spiraled back to the images he had been trying to shake off as the person in thought stared him down with those midnight hues. A smirk twisted on the man’s lips as he stepped closer and adjusted his bowtie.- OH NOW HE SHOWS UP!?

“Well, well, well, Perry the Platypus… Leaving so soon? The party’s just getting started!” the agent took a step back with fists raised, but Heinz quickly stepped forward with his hands in the air. “No seriously! It’s a New Year’s party and everyone is so busy mingling that the buffet is completely up for grabs! I was thinking about taking a dish or two home honestly and…” Perry lowered his paws and arched an eyebrow, to which his nemesis let out a sigh and started rubbing the back of his neck, “Listen, my plan may not have worked out quite like I thought, b-b-but I still technically won a-and every time you win you always just up and leave, well not this time! New year, new me baby!! Now as the official winner, I do believe a reward is in order!”

With a half-smirk that rivaled Perry’s, Heinz extended a hand out for his nemesis to grab. The agent took a slight glance over his shoulder, his family was on the other side of the wave of people, though he figured if they hadn’t seen him on the stage then perhaps the other was right.- They’re so busy with one another that they wouldn’t even notice.

“Oh come on Perry the Platypus, are you cold feet, or should I be the one to lead this ti-eaahh-!?”

Heinz hadn’t even finished his tease when the small platypus jerked him forward with enough force to cause him to stumble into the crowd. Thankfully, Perry was able to catch the back of his suit before he hit the ground, with another forceful yank backward the platypus caught the taller man with both of his paws looped under his slim back. Thankfully Heinz's heightened reaction time always came in handy as he quickly maneuvered and balanced in the mammal’s grip by bending his knees and encircling his arms around the agent. With wide eyes, Heinz tried to chuckle over the rising lump in his throat as half-lidded chestnut orbs stared back at him. The flush of red started from his ears and he could feel the rush make its way to his face. Heinz started thinking maybe he should’ve found an outfit with fewer layers.

Perry gave a chirr of satisfaction and brought the other back up to his feet, but just for added flair he also took the man’s arms, spun him in a circle then caught his hands again. Once he finally got his balance, Heinz realized he was already following in step with the platypus. Paw in hand, the two mirrored one another and kicked to the beat of the music. However, all they could hear was the thumping of their hearts against their chest as the duo kept up with one another no matter the surprise. When Heinz took both of his paws and crouched to his level, Perry saw a glint of mischievous delight which he quickly understood. Always one step ahead of his nemesis the small mammal hopped in the air so he could be swung once, then twice before somersaulting in the air so he could land on Heinz’s arched back.

“You always have to show off in some sort of way, don’t you? I bet you wouldn’t be as flashy if we were similar heights! Well no matter, because no one can resist the ultimate dance move, the bee’s knees! Muahaha, I guess you can say this is my plan Bee! I’m just buzzing with all kinds of plans this year! Oh, I’m sorry are my amazing puns bugging you? Didn’t know you were such a Buzzkii-aack! Hey!!” With a roll of his eyes, Perry flipped over Heinz’s shoulders and pushed his tophat down further, till it covered his eyes and put an end to his spew of puns. “Alright, alright, I’m done! Yeesh, some just can't appreciate a good joke every so often! Curse you Perry the Platypus!”

While the smug platypus watched the other struggle wriggling the tight brim off of his head, Perry couldn’t fight the silent chuckle any longer. Had his nemesis been able to lift the hat up he would’ve seen the dopiest, most lovestruck smile that overtook his usual nonchalant neutral expression. However, instead the two stopped when the music came to a scratching halt and a voice spoke overhead.

“Alright Ladies, Gentlemen, and Everyone else in between! It’s time to slooooww~ down a bit as we start wrapping this wicked New Year’s party up! So grab a loved one and enjoy the next couple of tracks to start your year off right! Our first song has been highly requested, this goes out to all the couples who’ve been going through it, but are still preserving together! No matter the differences or trials their love is put through, but at the end of the day know it's all worth it for them!!”

Perry was the first to react as he looked up and noticed the lights dimmed to a softer purple and blue with magenta hues that reflected from the spinning disco ball above. From the speakers, a reverbed autotuned voice repeated the words in a language he had learned years ago while in the academy. Just hearing the first handful of lyrics before the beat picked up made the platypus grateful his fur covered his heated face.- I love you, I hate you, I love you, I hate you.

“UGH! Verdammt, dieser blöde Hut!” Perry glanced back to Heinz who gave up on taking off the tight hat. “Great, now I’m stuck annnnd… Perry the Platypus left..” his shoulders sank, “again.. Fantastic, truly, just what I wanted! Ditched, in the middle of a slow-dancing crowd that I can’t even see to get out! I can barely even hear the music. Is this French? What even are some of these lyrics, ‘Better than alone, is to be in bad company’? That’s not even how the saying go-WOoAH!”

Amidst his blind rant, Heinz’s hand was grabbed and tugged to the ground which he hadn’t expected leading to his knees quickly buckling under him. Thankfully, and to his surprise, a small frame caught his fall with short arms wrapping under his armpits.

“P-Perry the Platypus? You’re still here, wh-what are you doing?”

He didn’t get an answer, not even a chitter back; instead, Perry guided the other’s neck down to help him out of this predicament. However, as the small mammal reached up to grab the tophat’s brim he hesitated as the lyrics before the chorus quietly repeated in his mind- Stay close to your dearest friends, but also even closer to your adversaries.

For a split second chestnut brown eyes trailed down to the thin line of Heinz’s lips and trailed up the sharp edges of his jawline. He hadn’t missed the faintly darker shade that slowly rose up his high cheeks partially hidden under the cap. Perry looked straight ahead only to realize how close their nose and beak were. However, no matter how much Heinz complained about his nose constantly ‘being in the way,’ the billed mammal merely saw it as another feature of the scientist that he could easily kii-ck… Kick! Nothing more!

After forgetting his thoughts, the agent gave the top hat a quick yet forceful tug which managed to at least free his face from the confines. Well, this was a bad idea on Perry’s end as the grown man looked down at him with wide eyes that matched the dark sky. The magenta-accented lights only made them shimmer like he held the stars in them, but to the other, he held the galaxy.- What kind of emotion, is it hatred, or pure sweetness when I hear your name?

“Er… Perry the Platypus, are you ok? You look like you’ve either seen a ghost or considering punching me in the.. I haven’t even done anything! You’re the one holding me down here! A-Anyways, thanks for the help I’ll go ahead and get back up nn..-ooow!! Will you stop doing that!? I am not just some doll you can drag arounnn… what are you doing?”

Before Heinz made a move to start standing he was pulled back down by his nemesis who stared up at him with a narrow glare, but something seemed different. Perry didn’t move, his eyes were locked onto his, but he seemed lost in thought. Was there something on his face? Maybe the hat left an awkward indentation across his face, his cheeks were definitely becoming warm from the blood circulating back up, that was all it was, surely! Raising a hand, Heinz went to rub the irritation from his face, but his palm was caught by a small paw.

Perry could do this, they’ve danced together numerous times! This couldn’t be any different than every other time hes led them through it. The steps on how to dance with his nemesis came to his mind as he reached his right paw around Heinz’s waist. However, despite the closed distance when the platypus took the first step back, the hunched man didn’t follow along. His knees barely had room to move forward comfortably, not to mention it seemed the other wasn’t sure what was going on.This wasn’t going to work, this was a stupid idea to begin with! It was like the song was taunting him at this point.- But my best enemy is you.. Flee from me, the worst is you and I.

A small irritated growl escaped from the agent as his shoulders dropped, but he didn’t let go of the scientist in his small hold. He took one more glance up and down his face before sighing and pulled Heinz up from his knees.

“Wh- You pulled me down to the ground just so you could help me back up!? You know Perry the Platypus, sometimes you’re a real mystery to even me..”

Perry could feel his eye twitch at his nemesis’s obliviousness, it truly was a blessing and a curse for the platypus. Quickly though he turned around while pulling his fedora down, the once mild warmth that started under his fur was making its way down his bill. Was it from frustration or the embarrassment? Honestly, Perry wasn’t entirely sure himself. But the last lyrics of the song only hammered in how truly felt.- I hate you, I love you, I hate you, I love you..

Well thank you guys for reading this far! If you’ve seen the next part of their comic then you’ll know where this is gonna lead, but I just gotta work out the kinks and knots and stuff lmaooo!!!

I’ve been really wanting to find an excuse to write these two dancing and this is the closest imma get until I get to the ball scene in my Cinderella au, so this shall suffice!

Like always thank you guys for even reading this far and much love to all of you!!! Hope you guys enjoyed and uh… yeah.. 🤎💙💕

[msgalaxywalker]

The blue eyed grey cat challenge :3

can you tell who is who?

[pnfc]

youre the only pnf blog i follow i have no one else to say this too but i watched the movie pitch and that scene where other dimension isabella talks about how pinky revealed his secret to her and showed her his layer before being captured and how isabella is working to make herself feel worthy of that trust he put in her.... wow. im so bummed they cut that. i feel like if that had been in the movie and people had reacted to it there would have been a lot more pinky overall both in fan content and the show itself

yeah, i liked how there was a stronger throughline of phineas being p.o.'d at perry, and how they set isabella and pinky up as a contrast. to guilt that rude boy for saying fuck to his nice pet. phineas's anger was rushed through in the final cut which contributed to it feeling kind of forced and unrelatable... i don't think the rough script necessarily fixed that problem but it at least focused on it more.

isabella gushing over agent pinky was really adorable yeah. it's a cool rare thing to see her having a conection with pinky-the-person, alongside p&f developing a connection with perry/perryborg. someday. they will all be buds. in the beautiful future

[baranthedude]

@adhdoofenshmirtz @puppiesareperfect @pnfc @tinyartistuko @juniorsailmakermattcruse @arianna-creates @platypaws @msmimundo

it's time

[martinacatlover]

perry the hair clip?! inspired by @platypaws and @msmimundo :3

[push-and-hold]

msmimundo's wonderful work reminded me that I have to spread my propaganda

I think Heinz taught Vanessa how to drive by simulating the Drusselstinian driving test

Either because he thought that's how they do it in the USA as well or because let's be honest, if you do learn to survive that test you definitely know how to drive (and that's probably how he learnt to drive too so)

That, or my baby girl really was just that bad lmao

[platypaws]

PERRY MULANEY MAP IS HAPPENING

everyone thank @msmimundo for cutting up the parts and also dealing with my yelling the past few days <3

How to join:

watch video and pick a part

check this spreadsheet if the part you want is free

fill out this form with your part choices

its first come first serve, one part per individual for now

u shall be messaged with the part you get (it might take a while dONT WORRY)

you have to cut your audio yourself but we can help if theres a problem <3

the credits will be shown in the video as pictures on the wall in part 23, so you're gonna have to either submit ur fav screenie from your part or draw something having to do with it for your credit pic 💪

hoorayyyyy

There is also a discord server! You can join it if you'd like, even if you're not participating!!! You're also not pressured to join it if you ARE participating!! We're just gonna fuck around and have fun!!

The characters in the animatic:

We have decided upon the characters who show up through multiple parts, but all the one-shotters are yours to decide. The list shall be updated as parts are taken and we are made aware of your choices hehe

John Mulaney - Perry (duh) Mr. Mcnamera or however you spell it - Monobrow Jake Mcnamera or however you spell it - Monty Alex (the picture stealer) - Carl Policeman - that german shepard from mml (but if policeman part havers can gang up and decide on smth else, you absolutely can) Pool table guy - Lyla Lolliberry Shitting on the PC - Pinky "smth smth police" (technically in two shots but he was drunk so does it HAVE to check out) - This man is a father - Lawrence

FEEL FREE TO ASK QUESTIONS

[camncheesesandwich]

Hi Cam, sorry for using the ask blog for such trivial things but, I saw there was a PnF MAP being started up, but I cannot for the life of me find it anymore

I saw you were on one of the parts so I was wondering if you knew where I can find it?

Thanks in advance! #[ ]">

hello hello! heres the link to the whole post, which there is still a few parts left. hope you do in fact join because the more the merrier :D

https://www.tumblr.com/platypaws/784188217936232448/perry-mulaney-map-is-happening

[msmimundo]

Another quick one hehe AU where that neglect scene didnt happen

Love that theres a bit of fandom agreement that one of the beds wouldnt be used

[msgalaxywalker]

Cinderpelt clay sculpture!! (with my old, smaller Longtail sculpture)

Now my two favs are done hehe Who should I do next??

[nonbinary-octopus]

@adhdoofenshmirtz @msmimundo

Ran a suspiciously familiar set of colors tonight 👀

[push-and-hold]

This is a fic for @msmimundo,inspired by the most hearbreaking work ever. Please go look at it, and give it all your love! (While writing I got inspiration from here too. Those expressions were destroying me)

ALSO, mundo got to read this one last month and posted this piece from a scene in the fic (^:

You can read it on AO3 with an additional scene.

Übernächste

The one after the next.

Heinz dies. It's something neither of them could have imagined, that he would go before Perry. The good thing is, he's left some notes in neat hologram form.

Funny, because they help him to keep going. Funny, because he really doesn't want to anymore.

Rating M Character death, Hurt no comfort, Perry the Platypus whump, Suicidal Thoughts, Established relationship, Unhealthy coping mechanisms, Platypus Anatomy (1 NSFW scene)

3.

It’s a nice ceremony, or as nice as he can arrange on his own.

Perry is… as good as he can be. He hasn't cried yet. Doesn't think he will.

He stays close to him, stealing glances every time he feels the need to see Heinz’s face to gather up some strength. 

The Flynn-Fletchers check on him from time to time, asking him to come sit down with them, step away from the open coffin for a minute but he doesn’t really want to. Still they keep an eye on him, anyways, and he sends them a tame nod every time he catches them staring with wet tracks down their cheeks that not one of them attempts to wipe away.

Roger attends politely and leaves in silence after a few minutes, looking a bit lost. He is glad there is never a pother with him.

Vanessa is inconsolable. How could she not be? The moment she sees him she runs for a hug, or rather, she hugs herself with him. Her face is buried in his shoulder, sniffling until his old fur is soaked.

Charlene walks towards them with watery eyes, kisses the tips of her fingers and gently pats the casket before squeezing Perry’s humid shoulder in solidarity as she untangles Vanessa from him to take her to the rest of the family.

Norm stands firmly besides him, leaking oil the whole service. When the final viewing is announced he doesn't let Perry look inside the coffin again. It's a good call, probably.

Heinz looks so peaceful, and Perry has wanted to climb in with him this whole time.

Go to sleep together, as they had been doing for the last eleven years.

14.

The clashing of metal going on in the lab steals his focus from the book between his paws.

He can't stand Vanessa and Norm anymore. 

That's a lie.

He loves them, of course, and he appreciates the company but they have been overbearing, almost 24/7 and he can't stand it anymore.

They used to be so quiet, calm and independent kids that got along great and would at most argue over who gets to choose what music to blast next.

Lately, they have been causing nothing but trouble at every waking hour. Breaking the good china. Fighting over the food in the fridge. Bickering on and on about petty things that escalate until they are crying out for him, “Perry! Come see what he/she did!”, and he is too old to deal with this anymore. They are too old to be doing this; and yet being here all over his back is, absurdly, the one thing that they seem to agree over nowadays, even when there is no reason for them to be here to begin with. 

Vanessa should go back to work—maybe then Carl would get off his back, too—and Norm really should resume his backpacking through the earth else he will fall behind schedule.

But they don't want him to be alone, it seems. Don't want him to “do something stupid”.

He doesn't really understand what they mean, when the only “something stupid” going on here lately is their const–

There’s an explosion.

Again.

Murky smoke comes through the hallway, forcing him to close the book and put it down. It makes a defeated thump when it connects with the table, and the lukewarm cup of tea clinks by its side.

“Norm!” Vanessa's voice, “Dad is not… You have to be careful now!”

“It is fine." Comes the robotic reply, “I can fix myself. This is important."

Perry rolls his eyes and reaches for his phone . There is only one number set for speed dial and he clicks on it by pure instinct. He picks the tea from the table and takes a sip, definite on not being the one dealing with this today.

The phone rings one, two times.

And then a third.

“Perry!” Vanessa yells for him, right on cue, “Perry!”

Fourth ring.

“You need to come see this” she walks in with a skip on her step, just in time for the fifth and last ring.

Just in time to see him crumbling down.

“This is Heinz Doofenshmirtz,” hesays the voice on the other end. “Please leave a message after the krkrkrkr.” A beep after his own voice.

…

Oh. Right.

He forgot for a minute.

Huh. His paw is shaky. It seems like he needs a check–up because he has to gasp to get some air to his lungs.

Even then it’s not enough.

The tears that have been looming behind his eyes ever since he woke up that dawn finally spill and he calls the number again, and Vanessa’s twinkle fades.

She’s by his side in less than a second, forcing the phone away from his hands. He sees her scream, but hears no sound.

Heinz Doofenshmirtz. Heinz Doofenshmirtz .

It’s a hard realization. Knowing that he won’t answer the phone anymore.

It feels like bile is pooling in his mouth. Instead of swallowing it as he was trained to do he leans forward to spit it out, but nothing comes. He reaches for the table. His claws rip and chip the wood with as he grips it, but he just really needs to hold onto something because the world is spinning wild. He is gonna fall, he is gonna fall, even sitting down, it feels like he is gonna fall.

It feels like an eternity, too  fast and agonizingly slow. He can see Norm enter the room and lock his sensors on him.

The robot-man procures a blanket from his hollow torso and wraps Perry with it, rendering his arms useless under Norm’s hydraulic force.

The two of them are holding him. Talking to him, maybe. He can’t really tell with his voice rolling in his head.

Hours later, long after the foundations of his reality have imploded and the structural integrity of his psyche has collapsed upon itself; hours after his last tears have long dried off on his fur leaving his chest hollow; hours later when he can finally breathe again and the tremors have subsequently stopped and his mind feels clear and focused, Vanessa and Norm are still curled up around him.

It's a good thing that they are here.

He wants to do something very stupid.

16.

With the click of a button it comes to life.

It’s not his last machine and it’s not part of his open patent legacy, but the remote doesn’t have a self-destruct button which means that even without Norm’s protocol they might have figured out that it’s important, eventually.

The lights dim and five spheres float around the lounge, each humming with a low resonance that barely makes any noise but pulses on the walls. Perry feels the steady beating of the room coursing through his webbed feet.

The small devices ascend all the way to the roof before they begin a slow orbit, dancing around each other before casting a soft glow with no particular direction. They spin on their own axis until the beams of light shooting from each one converge in the middle.

And then Perry sees it. Him .

He is here, but he isn’t.

“So…” His voice is clear and nervous. Feels like a stab right between the ribs. “It happened.”

It did.

“Even with the first few scares I didn’t really think  that I would be the first to…”

Perry didn’t think so, either.

“I guess my past finally caught up to me. Those early years of famine and all the accidents. And all the adrenaline of an evil life, I guess. And the explosions. And the poison. Oh, you know what I mean. You get me. You are the only one that ever did.”

“In any case, Perry the Platypus. I want you to have these. I never really expected you to hear them, but I did make them just in case, that last time you had to rush me to the hospital. Because I love you, and I know how it is to be alone.”

“And I don’t want you to be alone”

The message ends, but the hologram stays. 

Perry chokes on a sob. Looking at Heinz’s face he can’t help but think, “Then why would you leave me?” 

19.

The living room blinds are stuck and refuse to come down. Or is it him who insists on keeping them up, knowing that Heinz would have liked to look outside the window?

The aftershave that lives in the bathroom doesn't smell as good as before. It lacks that tarty pinch of Heinz to elevate the scent.

There is an unfinished project on the workbench, covered in a thin coat of dust. He can’t bring himself to touch it.

There is a huge spot on the bed that is cold. It will forever remain cold.

21.

His tail tweaks at the subtle buzz of the projectors scanning the room.

He’s rejected a few offers by now, from Vanessa and Norm and the Flynn-Fletchers, about living temporarily with any of them so he won’t stay inside all alone but there is no need.

(Except, there is. He doesn’t eat, he doesn’t sleep. What he does do, is spend hours in this half-lit space; frozen under Heinz’s image, circling it from every possible angle, looking at this form so well defined he can almost forget that if he were to reach out with his paw it would find nothing but empty space.)

‘Heinz’ turns to look at him with a knowing smile. A small tilt of the head, familiar mischief in those eyes that so painfully mimic life.

“Okay, okay, Perry the Platypus. I know what you're doing.” The mirage raises a finger, scolding and worried and fond. “You’re just sitting there. You’ve been watching me all this time, haven't you?”

Perry doesn’t move. The expression on Heinz’s image softens.

“I knew you would be. You get stuck. You obsess with me and I still don’t know why, herzchen, when you were always the most interesting creature between us.”

The sound of his chuckle graces Perry’s ears. He had no way of knowing hearing it again would hurt this much.

“But listen. I sort of did make these to keep you trapped, but not like this.”

“You will understand later. Hopefully you won’t be too mad then. Meanwhile, you have to leave the room. I don’t want you fixated on the hologram, you know I get jealous.”

Perry’s throat is too tight to swallow.

“You should go somewhere else, I need you to.”

A beat of silence, then he smiles again, softly, the way he does only for him.

“I promise it will still be here. I will always be here, waiting for you. Bis morgen, süßer. I’ll see you tomorrow." 

The audio ends, and only the hologram remains.

Still. Glowing. Waiting. Pleading.

Even now he is unable to say no to those eyes.

He tells the family over dinner that he does need to stay with someone, and everyone seems ecstatic about it.

30.

One night, for no particular reason, he has an impromptu sit down with Linda and Lawrence until very late, and they talk about everything and anything.

About the weather. About his old job. About some of the nicest moments they have all shared together. About how much fun having a slumber party feels now, compared to when they were teens.

It’s only when they ask about Heinz that it occurs to him just how used he is to death.

His line of work was full of it. There were countless agents MIA after missions gone wrong.

Animals with various lifespans meant replacing codenames over and over again, every few days, every few months. Agent T is a good example. There is always an agent T, a new one every few years, all gone by November.

There are evil-doers victims of their own wrongs, foiled plans that need to have a permanent stop. People too dangerous to keep locked.

He's used to it, had to partake in it on countless occasions, before retirement (that is something he does not tell them, and he hopes they can’t infer it.)

He's desensitized to it, but he understands now that the hardest part wasn’t his death. He is used to death.

What he's not used to, is this feeling. 

He feels lost, and the north of his world is unreachable now.

He tells them so.

49.

Candace and him are sitting down, mug in hand. Her husband is making breakfast.

She looks at Perry, but so far besides a normal good morning when she let him in she hasn’t said anything yet.

“I’m happy to see you around, pal.” Jeremy says as he moves around the kitchen, “Hope that plain eggs will be ok.”

It’s so early that her children are still asleep. He’s sleepy too, because he had to fly extra early for his message because apparently all that Candace wants for her birthday present is his presence here first thing in the morning.

“Thank you, Jeremy!” She says when he brings the plates to the table.

Jeremy presses a kiss to the top of her head, “I’ll be upstairs in case the kids wake up. Call if you need anything.” 

Then it’s just the two of them.

“How’ve you been?” Candace asks when they are alone.

He shrugs and takes the fork. He’s not really hungry but takes a bite anyway.

“Yes. I thought so.”

The silence has always been strangely comfortable with her. Not so quiet, barely deafening. It gets him emotional for some reason, sniffling before he realizes it’s happening.

“Hey,” she says gently, “He’s not that bad of a cook. Rude.”

It’s not that funny but it does crack him up, and Candace smiles at him, as if it mattered.

Her hand goes to Perry's head, stroking slowly and respectfully. He drops the fork to lean into her, allowing himself to feel her love.

It’s been so long since she had pet him, and her touch was always delicate. She strokes around his eyes and ears. Her palm advances little by little, scratching, pinching where she knows it tickles him, following the line of his spine until she picks at something and her fingers pause. 

“Your pelt,” Perry can feel her passing the same spot, “it's getting scratchy here.”

She taps the hind of his body, all the way to the tip of his tail.

Perry hangs his head, because she’s right.

If he’s honest, he hasn’t combed it for a long time. It’s not something he’s had to do, because Heinz was all too eager to do it for him.

Sentiment wells up heavy on his back. It’s gonna hit him hard if it builds up anymore.

“I know, Perry,” she says, “I understand. I don’t mean it like that, but I hate to see you like this.” She gestures vaguely over him.

“This is why I asked you to come. The Perry I know is, and I hate to admit it, kind of cool. Usually. You looked good, and Heinz took pride in that, you know? He once spent half an hour explaining the right way to curry a platypus. I didn’t understand a word.”

Perry looks at her in despair. This is not helping the sorrow.

“Enough of that, man. I’m not saying this to make you feel worse, but he wouldn’t want you like this” she digs into her bag, “I love you, ok? And I loved him too. I want to  take care of this in his place. Well, not me directly, but I´ll overlook it. Vanessa helped me find a good place.” 

She pulls out two tickets.

For a spa?

“Come with me.”

He shakes his head immediately, but she gets a hold on his paw before he can pull away, 

“Please. Just this once. It’d make us both feel better. You know he’d approve.”

It irritates him a little that she knows what words to say to convince him of anything.

“Good enough,”Candace says ruffling the chronically disheveled hair at the top of his head when they are out.

He does look great. Lighter without the excess of undercoat. The mats over his belly are gone thanks to the herbal conditioner they put all over him.

His pads do hurt a little, he was getting used to the long claws, but that will sort itself in a couple of days.

It comes as no surprise that a party awaits them back at Candace’s house.

It’s the first time that he can feel himself smile. It’s also the first time he’s felt a little bit better, ever since the funeral.

73.

Perry the platypus! I'm so happy you could come today! 

Thank you for that. How's Vanessa? I'm sure she's been alright, my little girl.

Did I tell you I left some of these for her? She gets them in her texts, though. She never really liked the holograms. Too messed up for her.

Did you have a good week? Did you help your boys with that new thing? I'm sure you did, you always do.

Sorry for leaving early. I told Norm to have dinner with you today, it’s on his calendar. He promised he would be in Danville today so he must be downstairs.

I have to go now, you see. Evil never rests. But I look forward to our next time.

Wir sehen uns übernächste, liebling.

I love you.

100.

The hole Heinz left in Perry’s heart is small enough that it won't kill him.

But sometimes, he wishes it did. He wishes it was big enough to end him. Or that his love for Heinz could wither just enough to let him end it himself.

He always feels ashamed after those moments, for being so selfish. For being so stupid.

116.

“… and I think I never told you so, but your name is my favourite word in the world. Plus -inator, of course, but Perry is… saying it makes me so happy. I use it all the time, süßer.”

‘Heinz’ has been talking for two hours and Perry is smitten. He can’t bear to see the phantom today, so he listens with closed eyes haunted in a way that he can stand.

“My one and only, Perry the Platypus.”

‘Heinz’ calls his name, and the demolition hammer finally gives him a break.

“This is my partner, Perry the Platypus.”

‘Heinz’ calls his name, and he can finally pretend to be a survivor, emerging with new life from rubble and ruins.

“I love you, Perry the Platypus”

Heinz calls his name, and the destruction enters stasis, suspended in time. Ready to continue the moment he goes back to real life. 

148.

He’s old. So very old and he knew the man for most of his life and that fills him with irrational fury.

How dare he? How dare he?

It feels unfair. It is so unfair. He’s loved him for most of his life, he was the center of his life this whole time. How can he enjoy the rest now, all on his own? He can’t. Doesn't know how, anymore, too old by now to redefine himself, too stubborn to sway his affections when even as they festered he clung to them tooth and nail. He is ruined, unequivocally, unavoidably ruined.

So today he rages.

He screams, he breaks the things stored down in his old lair, he wails and curses his name.

Today Perry the Platypus hates Heinz Doofenshmirtz.

It's just as crushing as loving him, considering their history.

157.

I see you are still coming here. It’s cute how you still never miss our appointments.

But surprisingly I don’t have much to say today. Not to you at least.

No, I’m not mad. I'm busy as you can see. You went to Phineas’ award ceremony so I’m deep vacuuming. Who would have thought that your fur would still be getting anywhere huh? 

Don’t mind me. I’m just talking to myself. And speaking of myself, Do you know what I talk about when you are gone? Do you want to?

You are free to go if you don’t want to, because once I start it’s gonna be a while until I stop.

…

Alright, I can see that you are still here. Er… well, not see, but the thingies made the scan and you are still here so...  Here's a list of things that I told myself I'm never telling you.

There are a lot more of these, actually. Like, a thousand at the very least, but I said "Hey, I really could distribute it in small doses you know? He does get tired of hearing my voice", which means you might start hearing this intermittently with the other notes sometimes, ok?

Ok.

So.

Here it is.

Let's start with these, these are my favourites.

First, I love that you file your claws. You look so good while doing it. Like, really prim Perry the Poshypus. I like them better long, but the visuals when you do so. Impresionante. Very nice.

Secondly, I think that the scars on your bill are really sexy. Oh gosh, I can't believe I'm saying this.

Next, I huh... Sorta had a crush for you the whole time? Well, almost the whole time. I didn’t really like you the first day, or hated you if I’m being honest, but then next time came and the first time we really fought you pushed me against the self-destruct button and bam! I was gone, just like my –inator. You got me there. I wonder to this day when it was that you started liking me, by the way, but now you know when it took off for me. Next I knew I was " Wow. I'm SO in love with him right now " when we were dancing at the new year party.

Coming number four, I love that soft fuzz you have on your tail. I love that you let me wash it and brush it. I didn't even know Platypus could grow that cute fleece on their tails, until you quit and it started growing back! I'm sorry you had to use it so much that it went bald but... Hey, I feel like it says something about us that I'm the one that helped it grow back. I can't quite put it into words so just... 

Thank you.

Oops, the vacuum died. Give me a moment.

Huh. 

Oh, I see. 

There! Now it’s on.

It shouldn’t stop with that.

Where was I? O right, fifth. So, speaking about your tail…

162.

Perry wakes up early, or rather he doesn't sleep.

Not out of sadness like other times. Something like static is running inside him. It has him itchy and restless, full of energy for the first time in a long while.

The streets outside are too quiet. Natural for the wee hours of the morning.

Snow is falling down, adorning everything with a nice sheet of white.

The jetpack roars to life and the fire gives him the fake illusion of warmth as he courses through the sky, the tips of his fur covered in icicles that he doesn't notice.

In spite of everything, Perry smirks.

His paws are trembling. His eyes are wide, unfocused, almost fevered.

But he is so happy. So wildly, inexplicably, shatteringly happy.

It feels like he wants to hear it. He can almost hear him.

“Happy Birthday, Perry the Platypus!”

With any luck, this time he won’t ask him to come tomorrow, or the next day after that one.

That could be his birthday gift. A way out.

184.

He has no will.

It’s half past ten and Perry doesn’t even want to get up from the bed.

But he has to go. He has to go.

Who else but him will read his notes? Who else will spend time with his hologram?

Heinz can't be alone. He can't be alone, Perry doesn't want him to be alone.

He can't be selfish right now. He’s gotta see the end of the notes. Just the end, only until he hears everything Heinz has left to say.

And then, he'll go to him.

Finally, together after all.

222.5.

Perry’s claws tighten around the pile he’s formed with the lab coat, the fabric wrinkling under his grip.

“Does it feel good?” the hologram asks, its voice low and almost teasing.

It does feel good. Perry is completely unsheathed, mast-full cock hard and leaking as he grinds desperately against the soft fabric draped around him. 

“It feels good for me, thinking about your tail, Perry the Platypus.” The rubbery spines of his erection catch in the weaving of the clothes, pulling particularly nicely at his shortest head. He has to repress a growl.

“How you would use it to keep me locked. Scheiße, mein Gehirn schmilzt. Oh, I should ask you to use your spurs.”

Perry groans and his breath falters. His paws rake into the soft material as he hugs it closer, hips jumping on time with the soaring of his blood. The muscles of his navel are thrumming, the heat is pooling beneath his fur until it burns. Nevertheless, he keeps the tips of his feet firmly planted on the cushions of the couch, even if his ankle barbs stand erect at Hein’s demand, pulsing, begging to be used on his willing mate.

He is losing his mind, but he can't. Even back then he rarely allowed himself to lose it like that, for fear of really hurting his husband.

“Come on, use them. You know I love it.”

He does. He did. A strangled sound escapes Perry at this, at the vivid image of Heinz's face full of ecstasy, at the tremble of Heinz’s body coming as the spikes prickle his skin, stinging venom entering him.

But he can't.

He doesn't want to use his barbs. He doesn't want to destroy one of the last lab coats he used.

“Please, schatz. Please, please, please…” The breathing on his recording gets erratic. ‘Heinz’ picks up the pace, moves his hand faster, opens his legs with no decorum. Perry salivates at the sight of his whole body presented to him without shame. “You can't hold to them forever”

That does it for him.

He can’t resist him anymore. With a grizzle he's clutching the coat with his feet, whimpering as he buries his bill into the lapels, inhaling deeply, taking in the smell of Heinz. The scent is faint by now, barely there, but it’s enough to send a wave of longing crashing over him.

The force of Perry’s spurs finally tear through the fabric, the sound of ripping clothes fills the room as he comes. His tail wraps under the coat, pulling it closer as his body stiffens, eyes blurring with every pump of his dick in an orgasm so intense that the aftershocks make his cloaca rattle and pulse. He can feel it all the way to his testes.

“Oh...” The hologram moans weakly, spasming while he looks at Perry full of awe and adoration, finishing himself off. Perry thinks for a moment that it’s him. Here, with him. His eyes, his smile, his love.

“You are...” Heinz sighs, “So fantastic. Thank you for that Perry.”

Laughter bubbles from within him. Even now, Heinz manages to make him laugh.

Perry’s chest heaves as he tries to catch his breath, his grip on the lab coat loosening slightly. He moves it from his body to examine the damage. It’s split in twin, vertical lines adorning the back now. It’s wet and sticky with a mix of his discharge, spunk and venom alike.

Hologram Heinz laughs, unexpectedly bashful. It turns around to lie on his plump belly completely relaxed. “Recording this was weird. But if you are seeing this, then I'm glad you let me help you.”

Perry reaches out. He has forgotten once again that this is not Heinz.

His paw passes through the hologram’s arm, and the familiar cold of metal and synthetic skin is not there. Just the cold of emptiness.

“I wish that I could hold you. That you could hold me.” The image freezes as the recording ends.

Perry curls upon himself. His softening prick retreating inside of him. The tension on his ankles ease.

There's a pang of pain that stabs him as the absence of a body to curl up with is more evident than ever. 

It doesn't erase the dopey grin that he can feel splitting his bill, though, when he turns to lie next to a smiling Heinz.

There’s no use feeling sad over it, so Perry chippers with glee, and he cries, cries, cries…

It’s as happy an anniversary as they can get.

232.

“I think it's beautiful you got to experience it.” Norm tells him over tea, “and I think I am glad he was my first, too.” 

Perry sends him a confused look. Norm takes a “bite” of his muffin and cleans the crumbs with a napkin.

“I'll live a thousand years,” he finally follows up, “or as long as I can find more squirrels.”

“I'll have to see many die, all the time. I'll lose you and I'll lose my sister, and I could not have imagined it before, but now I know. How it will be. How it will feel.”

Ah. 

“Looking at you, Perry, I know that it will hurt but I will live. That I am allowed to live and that I am allowed to be happy again. That I can always remember whenever it's time to miss.”

Perry puts his paw over Norm's hand. It's cold. It will always be cold on its own, but he is a wonderful thing. He will find company. Perry hopes that he finds someone—many someones, in the future, a hundred years from now— that can find as much comfort in the cold, metallic tact of his robot hands as he feels now—as he felt with Heinz—and that the heat of someone else can bring Norm comfort too.

Norm is such a wonderful thing.

Which is why Perry can’t bring himself to explain that he is barely holding by.

270.

Ferb’s told him time and time again to take it one day at a time.

Perry thinks that that’s absurd. What use is just one day? One day is already too long. Today is too much and it’s barely noon.

He would rather take it in hours, or better yet seconds. Small, chewable, miserably digestible moments. The kind Heinz used to fill for him. 

Or not at all. Not at all would be ideal.

Not taking it at all would work best for him. 

At least blinking makes the time bearable. Every time he blinks he gets a flash of wrinkled hands, the hallucination of his cooking dancing on his tongue, a faint memory of that noise Heinz made when he’d misstep on a tile in the middle of the night on his way to the bathroom.

He doesn’t tell anyone about the blinking part. Not even to Ferb.

300.

Hello, Perry the Platypus.

You might be wondering why the apron.

Well you see, today you are out helping set up the meatloaf festival, and I know I told you I wasn't going to enter again but I lied.

You can’t fault me for this one! I'm a great cook, Perry the Platypus, and I mean that objectively. With my Peach-Cobbler winning first place on the spring festival I realized this is the last ribbon I need to to be the uncontested best cook in the entire Tri-State Area!

I know for a fact that I'm gonna win. Guaranteed Victory. 

No it’s not cheating, it's not my fault that your family loves my meatloaf. It’s not cheating, really! If they weren’t the judges this year, then I’m sure that anyone with taste would have given me the win.

See? I'm thinking about you while cooking. I think I still hate you a little bit. But it's cute. Like the mains of The Platypus and His Girlfriend, and so far whatever this is has worked amazingly for my seasoning. Any time I make my great-grandmother’s recipes I just picture you and so far they’ve turned out great.

Oh! I think I heard your car landing.

Do you think you will be mad? I hope not. And if you are, you better not stop me. It's not cheating, Perry the platypus, I’ve already told you!

If I don't have that crown on my shelf by the end of the day someday you'll be craving my meatloaf, and I won't make it for you as revenge.

388.

Linda and Lawrence dance together, slowly swaying side to side to a beat that by this point has become a staple for their love, universally known between Love Händel fans as the 80s pop-stars falling in love anthem. What a name. 

Regardless of the song, all that he can think about is that they belong together. A logical conclusion, considering that it’s their anniversary.

He is happy for them. They deserve it, after not celebrating last year. He still feels a bit guilty for that, even if they insist it was their idea to skip the big celebration last year, in light of the recent loss.

The music comes to an end. Everyone cheers when they kiss, further proof that the world agrees with him on the matters of how well they fit.

He can’t help but wonder if they did hear the song at all, or if they were immersed in their own world.

Back when he and Heinz used to dance, they’d always do it at an entirely different rhythm, to a beat only the two of them could hear.

They looked good dancing together. It felt good to dance with him.

He does query if the people looked at them, as well, and with nothing but a glance realized how deep their love was. If they looked like they belonged.

He likes to think they did. 

482.

Do you remember that time I gave myself a midlife crisis? The one thing I really liked was jumping off the plane.

I know I know, you think I mean everything about that—even the flirting with the instructor, but again, sorry about that—but no. I don’t even mean the free fall.

I mean the part after I lost the golden chain. The wind, the open sky and slowly falling down, together with you.

It reminded me of when I was sailing away from Drusselstein for the first time.

I used to stare into the distance after cleaning the deck, you see, and I would imagine that I could jump at any moment and just float away; except that day we were floating down and not away, and what actually happened is that I fell a little harder for you, because ever since then I have felt like I am floating whenever I am with you.

In short, I am happy that we landed, and I am happy to have shared a predictable boring life with you.

536.

Today is cloudy and not very sunny, and it makes him unbelievably happy.

Heinz would’ve loved it like this.

They could’ve packed a basket with dates and bread, peanut butter and honey. Head out and have a walk at the park before settling down somewhere far away from noisy families.

Heinz would have gone into a rant about the cold (hot?) unforgiving sun, always burning his delicate skin, how he missed out on so much because of it, picnics, long walks along the beach, so much money lost on sunscreen. He’d get distracted with the way the breeze would blow on them, going on a tangent about how it reminded him of his rare peaceful days in Gimmelshtump just as Perry passed him a slice of bread with honey. He would have tried to feed Perry some cheese, which he would have playfully refused.

A fight would have ensued.

Not like the old ones, no. A funny one. A teasing one, one of those that end with laughter and a kiss, and a oh so sweet taste in his mouth that would have had little to nothing to do with the food.

Eventually they would have needed to shake off the ants that would inevitably climb his lanky partner.

A futile endeavour, for which they would have been forced to go back home so Perry could treat the bites with cream and little kisses, where he could have shamelessly caressed the underside of his bill along the joints where his metal arms fused to his body, right where the signals from his bionic arms mixed with the steady rhythm of his heart in a pattern that lit the electroreceptors on his bill in that sublime pattern so uniquely Heinz, where Perry could have shown him just how much…

God, he misses him so much.

It’s a weird feeling. A mix of joy and sorrow that he still quite can’t process.

It feels like he wants to die, but he can't. He can't.

That would be very selfish of him.

Someone has to remember Heinz.

He wants to keep remembering Heinz.

618.

I am so sorry Perry the Platypus. 

I know you must be tired of this.

But just like I have said before, it was a trap.

I know I have said it before, der übernächste wird der letzte sein.

730.

Miss you, he'd written back then.

It was incredibly cathartic at the time. To use his hands. To think of Heinz, to channel all his might and regret and heartbreak into the swoops of the M and the curves of the S and the Y and the U.

He thinks it might help again, even if this time there's nobody to deliver it to.

Miss you, he writes, and he can almost see his eyes perking up, the wrinkles in his soft skin.

Miss you, he writes, and he can almost feel like he is hugging Heinz.

Miss you, he writes, and he can't quite evoke the right colour of his hair.

He leaves them at his tomb, with a vase of assorted flowers. Vanessa tells him it looks beautiful and he's back to mourning all over again.

810.

He moves back to DEI.

Nobody objects. By now, he has learnt to smile again, to laugh and enjoy. To function with the luggage of a phantom pain.

But he is not doing it because he is ready.

He is doing it because he’s started to forget.

Because he can’t remember how big his hands were. He needs a photo to remember his face. He closes his eyes and he can't picture the right gray of his hair anymore, and every time something like that happens the mourning starts all over again. 

Still, he lives, lives, lives.

It doesn’t mean that he is alive.

925.

Some days I couldn't sleep, you know? Of course you know, but I mean, you don't know what I'd be doing for so long, before falling asleep.

Well, I do want to tell you. Most of the time I would think about what we could have done differently.

Things like “Could I have proposed sooner?” but then I'd go, “Ah, but I do love how he proposed. Can't even think of a more perfect way.”

Or maybe, how you could have moved in sooner. But then, your boys wouldn't have had so much fun with you before moving away.

Things like asking you to retire earlier, or asking you to dance with me from the get go every new year’s eve.

But then I'd look at you, so cute, so handsome right there, sleeping besides me, and I knew I would change anything. We were right where we were meant to be.

I don't regret anything.

You make me very happy, and I wouldn't change a single thing about us. Even this. Know that I loved you until the very end.

That I love you until this day.

That the note after the next one will say the same.

985.

Today is the first day that Perry wakes up without the impulse to hear his voice and see his frame.

There is no compulsion to rush and see what Heinz could have left for him, no sick need to play pretend and ignore the fact that he is dead. 

Today he could survive the fall, the loneliness and the permanent void that he will carry with him for however long he still has.

There is no need. But he does so anyway.

Because he wants to.

1,071.

I always knew you were the stronger one. You carried us both, so many times. It might be silly but this whole thing was my way of trying to carry you, just once. To stay with you for a little longer.

I would have followed you, if it was the other way around. Which is why I  might have been a bit paranoid and why I left so many notes. I needed to be sure that you wouldn’t.

And now I am. If you're hearing this one, it means you made it further than I dared to hope. 

So today is the last one.

Thank you, Perry the Platypus. You won’t get a message tomorrow, or the day after that. This time it’s for real.

Bis zum nächsten Leben, baby. I'll see you then. Please let me love you again.

1,073.

At seven o'clock sharp Perry makes himself a cup of tea before going to sleep.

The projectors didn’t have a message. It’s the second day in a row.

1,074.

Perry the Platypus passed away in his sleep at thirty years and six months of age.

Norm finds him in the evening, clinging to an old black turtleneck.

If it’s from natural causes or not, his people won’t know. They don’t need to know.

What they know is this: He was loved. He will be missed.

He has finally reunited with the love of his life.

[platypaws]

my friend @msmimundo and I were very serious about this yesterday

FAQ

Whats the audio?

this is the audio

Are you serious?

yes

Why?

yes

[msmimundo]

Fanart of THIS VID

Was supposed to be a quick sketch what happened

[cheylouwho]

tbh if the kids grow up and someone gets married its more probable to be Creek

at this point in time, yeah tbh