#my default state is anxious and scared

[vampirecatprince]

The way my autistic ass is absolutely obsessed with almost anything horror related (minus zombies) for basically my whole fucking life and I ONLY JUST NOW REALIZED THAT HORROR IS A SPECIAL INTEREST OF MINE🧍

[rustencohle]

i've been vibrating with anxiety for the past few days i honestly feel so sick and i have no clue how to feel better

[illumivier]

calling on my angel | caleb

fully prepared to spend his birthday alone, only you can make caleb’s day special!

content: mild angst and a copious amount of fluff to compensate, colonel caleb x reader

word count: 1k

note: a little one shot for the colonel’s birthday! hope all the caleb kissers enjoy 🙂‍↕️

Caleb let out a deep, almost inaudible sigh, his fingers drumming against the mahogany table as he watched one of his subordinates handle the afternoon briefing. He watched the man’s lips move rhythmically to the monotonous drone of his voice, his hand stiffly pointing towards different slides on the projected screen. Caleb was sure the poor cadet was scared and anxious under the colonel’s unmoving gaze, bordering on a glare. But Caleb couldn’t help the look on his face. It was as though he’d lived this day a hundred times over, playing the role of the strict enforcer, barking orders and keeping his mind neutral to evade chaos.

And that wasn’t him — it was just who he had to be.

Caleb dismissed the meeting once everyone had given their feedback and stood up from his seat before anyone else, marching out of the room without another word. He entered his sleek office and dumped his files onto the glass desk with a harsh thump that spoke volumes about his mood. He slumped into the swivel chair as he pulled out his phone. He raised an eyebrow when he saw his lockscreen, the dark blue default wallpaper reminding him of what his life had become.

17:00PM

JUNE 13TH

His birthday. Of course he’d forgotten his own birthday. That day was just another remembrance of another year spent in this shallow existence he had created for himself. Gone were the days of silly party hats, sweets galore and a DIY cake made by… you.

He felt a stirring in his chest when he thought of you; how you’d celebrate his birthday as if it were your own. From the most thoughtful gift to a scratchy rendition of Happy Birthday after crying about how he was getting too old. He missed it all. Because while his life may have turned stoic, clinical and calculated, he could always be nothing but himself around you. He could always call on you to make him feel whole.

There wasn’t a single birthday message from you when he checked through his phone, just rows and rows of work related emails. Maybe you were still mad at him for everything, no matter how much you tried to hide it. It would only be fitting that his decisions eventually ruined everything, including the one spark still lingering in his life.

He waited a few moments, watching as the office cleared out and the chatter died down. At exactly six pm he stood up from his desk and gathered his belongings before trudging out of the building. As he arrived on his front porch, he’d already resigned himself to spending a quiet night alone. Maybe he’d try out a new dinner recipe and open up a bottle of wine to celebrate.

But celebrate what exactly? He begrudgingly thought to himself, his finger lazily punching in the code to his front door.

He swung open the door and was immediately floored by the smell of something baking in the oven. Had he forgotten to turn it off? That would’ve been just gr—

“Happy birthday Caleb!” You yelled in excitement, immediately throwing your arms over his shoulders and tugging him into a bear hug.

Caleb was frozen for a moment, in utter disbelief at not only seeing you there, but also at the state of his house. In his time alone, he hadn’t collected much furniture. He’d claimed to be too busy with work to add any sort of character to his apartment, save for a picture frame of you and him and a cookbook displayed on his otherwise plain shelf. Everyday when he came home, he was greeted by the neutral shades of black, white and gray that seemed fitting for the empty shell he inhabited.

But not today.

Tonight, his couch and coffee table were overthrown by all the plushies you two had collected over your many arcade trips. You had tried, mostly failed, to cover his high ceilings in balloons and streamers and whatever decoration you could manage to haul by yourself into his house. As he suspected, a pie was being baked in the oven and a large DIY cake stood in the centre of it all, a bit wonky but made with all the love he knew was in your heart.

The love reserved for him.

“I thought you were mad at me or something?” He blurted out, his arms now rested on your waist as he pulled back a bit to look at you.

“Mad at you? For what?” You laughed in amusement, slipping out of his arms and pulling him towards the living room.

“Um I don’t know… everything?” He cocked his head to the side and let you sit him down on the couch.

“How many times do I have to tell you that all of that doesn’t matter anymore?” You shook your head, taking hold of his hand, “all that you’ve done up till now, I know your heart and I know my annoying and lovable Caleb… you can’t scare me away.”

“Sometimes I feel like I don’t even know that Caleb anymore.” He smiled sadly, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

“Then I’ll spend the rest of my days reminding you who that Caleb I love is.” You returned his smile, your eyes sparkling as you leaned in to press a soft kiss on his lips.

His face heated up in embarrassment, his hands moving to your waist to keep you there, as if one wrong move would make you disappear. You deepened the kiss, your tongue sweeping past his lips while he simply submitted to you, to your affection and to your love. He chucked his hat to the side, your hearts hammering in synchronicity before you both parted for air.

He just stared at you in absolute awe. The single most precious thing in his life. The person who kept him afloat when it seemed like everything else was drowning him to the depths.

The person who made him cry like a child on his birthday.

“Sorry.” Caleb laughed through the tears as you dabbed his face with a tissue.

“Just so you know, I’ll never let you live this down.” You snickered, throwing the tissue aside once his eyes were dried.

“Can we take a picture?” He asked, his voice uncharacteristically nervous. Then again, the abundance of emotions he’d experienced in the span of a few minutes was definitely foreign to him.

You nodded and immediately snuggled next to him, mirroring his grin as he snapped a picture of you two.

He scanned the photo, a warm smile on his face before he immediately set it as his phone wallpaper.

[cherrieguroo]

i always forget just how anxious i am all the time until i hear it from other people. like to me this is my default state wdym im "always on alert" hahah you must be exaggerating (girl who is Very paranoid and gets easily scared by certain people's presences that i cant really get away from)

[running-tweezers]

Big feelings vent

I feel like I’ve been nothing but mopey and detached for a while. If I’m not distracted by 6 things at once, that’s my default state lately. And it’s not a mystery as to why, I’m just refusing to face it.

I’m fucking scared. And unlike most of the time when I’m just scared and anxious about some nebulous nothing, this is a tangible, physical Thing I’m scared about. It’s something REALLY hard to ignore, which is why I need so many distractions all the fucking time just to keep going.

I keep telling myself that I’ll have an answer in a couple weeks and it’ll be better than the limbo I’m in, but I’m not even sure of that. Bc what if it’s the worst case scenario? Ive spent so much time thinking about the worst case scenario. Every detail about what would happen in the worst case scenario has crossed my mind. Including the Extra Scary thought that if it IS the worst case scenario, would I even have the strength to fight it? Mentally or physically??

And then on the other side, what if they tell me nothings wrong. Bc I KNOW something is. This isn’t normal, and I’m scared I’ll be ignored and disregarded and not treated like a person like I’ve been at doctors in the past.

I want an answer and also don’t want an answer at the same time. I just don’t want it to be happening. Bc I was starting to feel so much better, and then this came along and ruined it all.

And add on top of this, I have so few people in my life willing to help and listen to me saying all this shit, bc I’m incapable of making new meaningful connections with people. I can count my friends/loved ones on one hand and have some fingers left. And those people are wonderful and I love them and appreciate them so much. And they’re doing a lot to help. But bc they’re all I have I feel like I’m asking too much of them. It’s all going on them with no breaks, and I’m making everything about myself. I can’t have a normal conversation with any of them anymore bc it’s always just “hey distract me from my big scary thing” or “I’m feeling bad about my big scary thing”. And they have other things to do. Unlike me, they actually have lives with other people in them. So I just retreat into myself and stop talking to them. Bc they don’t want to hear about this 24/7. Idk maybe that’s why I’m putting all this here.

[shrieking-wampuscat]

Just a little bit about my main oc from my fanfic series 'Cat's Eye' and her family background.

(I used the mega fantasy avatar creator by rinmaru games 'cause I'm ass at drawing.)

S(Please note, the scar on her face is supposed to continue down her neck and chest but the character creator limited me from showing that) Full Name: Clover Elizabeth Greenwood Gender: Female Species: First Generation Nephilim Date Of Birth: January 1st, 1996 Blood Type: O+ Sexuality: Bisexual Height: 158cm (5'2) Weight: 54kg (120lbs) Parents: Angela and Nathaniel Demon Parent: Unknown Siblings: Aster, Bailey Rank: Page Familiars: Ruby - Small orange tabby cat sidhe with white paws and big orange eyes. Physical Description: Long, thick light red hair that mostly covers her face and light green eyes. Pale skin, short with an average build and broad shoulders. Her ears are slightly pointed, and she has fangs that resemble those of a lion's. She has a long, furry light orange tail that ends with a darker colored tail tuft that's the same light red as her hair. Her pupils shrink into slits in bright light like a domestic house cat's. They can also shrink into slits when she's angry or scared. She has scars over the majority of her body. The most prominent ones are on her right cheek that spreads down her neck and disappears underneath her shirt, and another that spreads over the entirety of her right arm. Personality: Generally very high energy and upbeat when it comes to her family, but in social settings she becomes very anxious and withdrawn due to past experiences. She takes the most after her mother in that she has a deep curiosity towards demons and how they interact with Assiah, and has stated multiple times that she thinks demons are easier to get along with than humans. Backstory: The youngest of her family, she grew up with her older brothers in a farmhouse located in the woods of Maine, USA. Her father died days before she was born and as a result was raised by a single mother, though a lot of her care was taken over by her oldest brother, Aster, while their mother worked hard to support them. When Clover was younger, her mother had her and her brothers in a program run by the Catholic church that allowed children that came from exorcist families to get together, sort of like a youth group. She was allowed to be open with her demon half there, but many of the kids were put off by her less than human quirks and avoided her, while others outright bullied her. When she was twelve, a demon set fire to her family's home, which resulted in the death of Angela and Aster, and left scars over the majority of Clover's body and left lasting pain in her arm. She's known from a young age that she's different from other kids, and she figured out her origins were less than happy from the time she was nine. She's completely unaware of who her demon father is, and has no interest in finding out at this time. Character Facts:

She's autistic and has ADHD.

Her favorite color is red.

She loves all meat, but has a preference for chicken, turkey, and other poultry.

Her preferred time to wake up is four in the morning, when it's still dark outside and everyone else is still asleep.

She didn't start wearing glasses until the fourth grade. Prior to that, her eyesight was perfect and even better than the average human. Creation Facts:

The entire basis for her character was created around a girl with the personality of an orange cat, as we have golden retriever personality Rin and black cat personality Yukio. She was originally designed as a regular house cat before I settled on her being more lion-like, and even referred to her as a kasha nephilim in earlier drafts.

Every single one of my ocs birthdays defaulted to January 1st to make it easier to keep track of general ages while I was mapping out the timeline. I would go in later to choose their real birthdays after this, and Clover's was meant to be March 22nd to make her a Spring baby and also an Aries, but I ended up liking the concept of her being a New Year's baby better. As an homage to the original plan, I made it so she was meant to be born late March, but ended up three months premature instead.

In my story, nephilims are noted to have stronger senses than normal humans, and because of this Clover wasn't originally designed with glasses. It wasn't until I settled on Rin being her endgame ship that I gave her glasses. He teases his brother about his glasses, so I made him fall in love with a girl with glasses.

Before deciding on making Rin her endgame romance, I considered pairing her off with either Yukio or Shiemi instead.

Full Name: Basil Emmett Greenwood Gender: Male Date Of Birth: October 27th, 1990 Blood Type: A- Sexuality: Straight Height: 193cm (6'3) Weight: 83kg (182lbs) Parents: Angela and Nathaniel Siblings: Aster, Clover Physical Description: Thick medium length red hair and light blue eyes. Pale skin with freckles, tall and muscular with broad shoulders. Character Facts:

He's autistic and has ADHD.

He's great at hand to hand combat, but prefers to fight at a distance.

After Aster's death, he inherited a demon sword but had no interest in sword fighting. Clover didn't either, so he ended up just returning the sword to the demon.

He loves inventing new weapons like grenades or bullets effective in exorcisms. He experiments with powdered plants and learned he really likes botany, and regrets he didn't get this interest until after his mother died.

He could take the promotion exam if he wanted, but he doesn't really care to at the moment. He's considering getting the Doctor meister, though.

He started going by the name Bailey when he was seven to spite his mother, who insisted that it was a complete coincidence that all of her children were named after plants. She went along with it and his nickname just became his preferred name overtime.

Creation Facts:

He was the very last OC I created, as Clover was originally meant to have only one brother, Aster, who dies before the story begins. She was intended to be the only survivor of her family, and considered a godparent being her legal guardian. I settled on a second sibling because Blue Exorcist has a lot of tragic siblings and I'm a sucker for healthy sibling dynamics. Plus, I figured Clover could use the familial comfort in the coming arcs. So I basically just cloned the dad's appearance and made him scruffier.

I stuck him in as the middle sibling and started calling him Bailey as a placeholder until I settled on another name, mainly as a joke for the ABC pattern. The name ended up sticking, so I decided to push things further and have his full name be Basil.

Full Name: Aster Shaun Greenwood Gender: Male Species: Human Height: 183cm (6'0) Weight: 77kg (171lbs) Date Of Birth: April 30th, 1988 Blood Type: A+ Parents: Angela and Nathaniel Siblings: Bailey, Clover Rank: Senior Exorcist First Class Meisters: Knight, Tamer, Aria, Dragoon (Doctor in Training) Familiars: Honey - Yellow furred golden retriever church grim with glowing red eyes. Physical Description: Thick, short golden blonde hair and light green eyes. Pale skin, tall and lanky with broad shoulders. Character Facts:

He's autistic.

He inherited a demon sword contract from his father.

He really likes collecting rocks and crystals. He also loves collecting prayer beads from all sorts of cultures.

He died in 2008 after a demon set his family's home on fire. He and Clover were both crushed by the roof when it collapsed, but moments before he chose to protect his sister's body with his own, which resulted in his death, but saved Clover's.

Creation Facts:

He was originally supposed to be closer in age to Clover, being a teenager when he died instead of an adult. This later changed to there being a larger age gap between Clover and her brothers, as she was the result of an unintended pregnancy.

He was meant to be Clover's only brother, but this changed later when Bailey was created.

Full Name: Angela Annalise Greenwood Gender: Female Species: Human Date Of Birth: June 28th, 1963 Blood Type: A+ Height: 180cm (5'9) Weight: 68kg (150lb) Parents: Elisa and Viktor Rank: Senior Exorcist First Class Meisters: Tamer, Dragoon, Doctor, Aria, Knight Familiars: Zephyr - Huge, fluffy main coon cat sidhe with gray and white fur and icy blue eyes. Flora - Fluffy cactus cat with grassy green fur and light green eyes. Sprouts different colored flowers at any moment. Miraj - Pale, cream furred jackalope with brown eyes and a single black horn on his head where his antlers broke off. Hokori - Light brown furred kamaitachi with gray eyes and long white sickle claws on her paws. Physical Description: Long light blonde hair and green eyes. Fair skin, average build. Character Facts:

She's autistic.

She had a major interest in growing warding plants. Her absolute favorite flower was the aster, which she wanted to name her firstborn child after since she was a little girl.

Her mother and grandmother both died from an inheritable respiratory illness at rather young ages. This illness did not pass onto Angela.

She died in 2008 after a demon set her family's home on fire. When her body was found, bite wounds were discovered in her neck, indicating she battled the demon before her death. This was one of the biggest indicators that Clover was innocent. Creation Facts:

She was originally planned to be the basic dead mom archetype, but I started getting interested in what kind of person she was beyond that and what her past might be, so I fleshed a little of that out so she wouldn't be so one dimensional.

When I was thinking what her maiden name might be, I literally just googled surnames that meant 'cat'. Koshkin was one of the results and I liked how it sounded, so I made her have Russian ancestors as a result.

Full Name: Nathaniel Cormac Greenwood Gender: Male Species: Human Date Of Birth: December 22nd, 1961 Blood Type: O- Height: 191cm (6'3) Weight: 91kg (200lb) Rank: Senior Exorcist First Class Meisters: Knight, Tamer, Dragoon, Doctor, Aria Familiars: Amaro - Huge tiger keelback boitata with red scales and black spots along his back. Physical Description: Short, neat red hair and blue eyes. Pale skin with freckles, tall, muscular and has broad shoulders. Character Facts:

He has ADHD.

He had a demon sword contract that passed on to his eldest son, Aster after his death.

He died on the blue night, just days before Clover was born. Creation Fun Facts:

I always imagined Clover's father being a second generation Irish American, so I leaned into that when considering his backstory.

I also imagined him as presenting as a good little Catholic boy, with his hair always neatly combed and his clothes never being dirty or out of place, but with a mouth that had zero filter and was always down to brawl.

When Rick's anime design was first revealed, I was both excited and upset because now it looks like I copied his design, but Nate was designed way back in early 2023.

Full Name: Viktor Koshkin Gender: Male Species: Human Date Of Birth: 1945 Height: 6'1 Rank: Senior Exorcist First Class Meisters: Tamer, Dragoon, Doctor Physical Description: Thick light blonde hair and gray-blue eyes. Bushy blonde beard and mustache. Fair skin, tall and lanky. Character Facts:

He's a writer who wrote biology books about demons related to the spirit and earth elements.

He comes from a long bloodline of Russian tamers who specialized in the spirit element. His father started branching out into the earth element, and Viktor continued his work.

He was born in Russia, but was brought over to America with his parents. His father established a demon farm in Maine after immigrating, and Viktor took over after his father's death.

He was twenty years old when he married Elisa, after he got her pregnant. They always intended to have more children, but fertility struggles prevented it.

He was a strong and stoic man, but he completely fell apart after his wife's death. His grief caused him to stop taking care of himself, and he died two years after her death, after he caught pneumonia and didn't have the strength or will to fight it off. This happened the winter before Aster was born. Creation Facts:

I imagined Angela's father being a big, intimidating no nonsense sort of man with a heart of gold, so that's what I made him. Creation Fun Fact: There's literally no reason for him to exist because he doesn't impact the story whatsoever considering he died long before the present day, but then I wanted to dig into Angela's past a bit and her parents just popped into my head. Straight from the get go Viktor was a master tamer from a family line of master tamers specialized in spirit demons, though he and his father expanded out to earth demons. Sometimes these characters just write themselves.

Full Name: Elisa Koshkin Gender: Female Species: Human Date Of Birth: 1947 Height: 5'0 Rank: Intermediate Exorcist Second Class Meisters: Doctor and Aria Physical Description: Short light brown hair and green eyes. Fair skin, short and an average build. Character Facts:

She was nineteen and already pregnant with Angela when she married Viktor. They always intended to have more children, but never did due to fertility issues.

She always had lung problems, but it wasn't until her later teen years that it was severe enough to keep her from her exorcist duties. When this started, she started working full-time in her parents greenhouse selling flowers to the public, but herbs, poison and medicines to exorcists.

She died from complications as a result of a genetic respiratory illness that she inherited from her own mother that went unknown until she was almost an adult. She was only thirty six when she died.

Clover's middle name was given to her in honor of Elisa.

Creation Facts:

I never really gave much thought to Angela's parents, other than one of them was descended from a bloodline of strong tamers. When I decided to dig into her past, I decided I wanted her other parent to be relatively normal and convey their strength in a different way than the majority of the other characters. When I went back and saw how often I had Clover coughing to cover up her growling or smoking, I was inspired to give her a family history of respiratory illness.

[angeltism]

8 and 14!

8. Any recurring dreams? (<- assuming that's what they meant by reacquiring bc idfk that word hello)

Not really, and I don't dream often in general I think. The most recent recurring type of thing in my dreams is I'll occasionally get the classic "abuser finding his way to weasel back into my life and I am powerless to stop him" but thankfully that's happened less n less since I've cut contact with him. I also do dream a bit about my beloveds, meeting them, spending time with them, but I'd say they're sparse and different enough that they aren't exactly "recurring"

14. What's something you've always wanted to do but maybe been scared to?

Hmm I'm. Not too sure. There's probably stuff I've wanted but haven't done cuz I'm generally pretty anxious, but my brain doesn't really acknowledge such things because "too anxious to do most normal people things" tends to be my default state on some level constantly. I don't really have anything I've "always" wanted to do in general, especially not really stuff I've been too scared to, I guess. Maybe get my ears pierced a second time..? But that's less me being scared and more me not wanting to be in pain during school or something, and I am very much planning on getting it done sometime. So. Shrug.

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E2; Chapter Two, The Weirdo On Maple Street - [Pt. 2]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘠/𝘯, 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴, 𝘋𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘔𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯.

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

Lucas, Dustin and I take our seats once we get to class.

"Oh, that can't be good." I sigh, gesturing to Mike's empty seat.

"Yeah, he's never this late," Dustin added.

"I'm telling you, his stupid plan failed," Lucas stated.

"I thought you liked his plan?"

"Yeah, but obviously it's stupid, or he'd be here."

"If his mom found out a girl spent the night—" Dustin began.

"He's in deep shit right about now."

Dustin shifted in his seat, and leaned forward, whispering loud enough for us to hear. "Hey, what if she slept naked?"

"Ugh!" My face screws into a sour, disgusted look aimed at my brother, unintentionally speaking at the same time as Lucas. "Why would she do that, Dustin?"

"Oh, my God, she didn't."

"Oh, if Mrs. Wheeler tells our parents..."

The thought of Mom finding out was enough to elicit an anxious groan from me, and I let my forehead fall against desk where I buried my face.

"No way. Mike would never rat us out."

I hesitantly looked up, making eye contact with Lucas. He gave me a reassuring smile, knowing I worry easily.

"I don't know." Dustin said warily.

"All that matters is, after school, the freak will be back in the loony bin, and we can focus on what really matters, finding Will." I frown at his specific choice of words for El, thinking back on how scared she seemed last night. I desperately want to say something, but decided against it, not wanting to get in a fight. Fighting won't get us any closer to finding Will.

|| 𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

Mike Wheeler rides his bike down the small slope of grass towards his front yard. When El refused to let Mike's mom know she was there, Mike had no choice but to resort to plan b. He had led his mom to believe that he had ridden to school when in reality he had stopped around the corner until both his parents were gone.

When he got to the driveway, he dismounted his bike and led it into the garage, however something caught his eye. He stared in awe as the once withered and frankly the most miserable looking plant he had ever seen in his life, was now a beautiful lush green and stood as tall his knees. 'How had Y/n done it?'

It took a solid moment for Mike to gather his thoughts and focus on the task at hand. He parked his bike and made his way inside.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"You want anything to drink?" Mike decided to take advantage of the empty house so that he could show El around. "We have OJ, skim milk... What else? Um, we have..."

Mike trailed off when he saw that El was more fascinated with the things in his living room, mostly his TV set.

"Oh, this is my living room. It's mostly just for watching TV."

El lightly traced her fingers around the frame of the TV as she examined it.

"Nice, right? It's a 22-inch.

That's, like, ten times bigger than Dustin's."

El turned her head and said quietly.

"Y/n."

"Well, yeah of course. Y/n too."

"Y/n. Brother?" She asked, making sure she remembered correctly.

"Yeah!" Mike smiled, then lightly shrugged. "Well, technically adopted. But yeah, they're still brothers."

El's brows furrowed in confusion.

"Ad-adopted?"

"Yeah, um, it means that he came from different parents. Mrs. Henderson adopted him because his parents were unable to take care of him. It's funny actually, Y/n is from Hawkins. Or at least that's where they found him. They didn't used to live in Hawkins; I don't know much about it cause Dustin was so young he doesn't remember any of it, but I think him and his mom were visiting family here and they just... found him, I think? I'm pretty sure that's why they moved here, or something."

El seemed to understand as she thought about it. She then turned to look at the all the pictures on top of the fireplace. She slowly walks to the fireplace and steps up onto the brick platform. She gazes at all the family photos. Particularly, the photo beside the one of Mike; of a smiling girl, a little older than herself, with long brown hair and a pink sweater.

She smiles longingly and speaks in a soft voice. "Pretty."

"I guess." Mike's face is contorted in confusion and a little in disgust.

"That's my sister Nancy. And that's baby Holly." He said as she moved to the slightly larger photo of a young baby. She then moved along to a photo with Mike, Nancy, and Holly, along with two other people she didn't recognize.

"And those are my parents. What are your parents like?" As usual, El says nothing and she steps down from the fireplace and walks up to a large green chair.

"Do they live close?" Mike continued. He notices El run her hand along the top of the plush green chair. "That's our La-Z-Boy. It's where my dad sleeps. You can try it if you want." He offers. El looked up at him, intrigued. "Yeah." He assured her, with a warm smile on his face. She cautiously sits down as Mike kneels down beside the chair. "It's fun!"

She looked to Mike, wondering what he is up to.

"Just trust me, okay?" She gives a quick nod, and braces herself, not knowing what to expect. She is taken aback by the sudden collapse of the chair, she is now laying down and the chair is rocking back and forth. She lets out a gasp, and then a nervous chuckle.

"See? Fun, right?"

With one hand on the back of the chair, and the other on the front, he brings the chair back into its default position. "Now you try."

With a small smile on her face, and feeling more confident she leans over the side and pulls the handle, letting her entire body go flying backward into a slow rock. Mike and El both look at each other and laugh gleefully.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

Some random rock song on the radio that Jonathan barely recognized came to an end as Jonathan Byers drove to his dad's house. His eyes darted to the radio unit in his car for a moment as his heart fell when the familiar sound of "Should I Stay or Should I Go" rang throughout the car.

- 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

"Darlin', you got to let me know"

Jonathan is sat on the edge of the bed next to his younger brother Will. The two of them are in Will's room, bobbing their heads along to 'Should I Stay or Should I Go' by The Clash.

"Should I stay or should I go?"

"You like it?" Jonathan had to raise his voice so he could be heard over the loud song. Will looks to his older brother and grins.

"Yeah, it's cool!"

"All right, you can keep the mix if you want."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. All the best stuff's on there. Joy Division, Bowie, Television, The Smith's... It'll totally change your life."

"Yeah, totally," Will says with a smile. However, the smile is quick to leave when the two boys hear their mother yelling on the phone.

"Where the hell are you, Lonnie?"

Will slowly turns his head to the door, listening to his mother yell at his absent father.

"I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it." Jonathan mimics his brother's actions and looks to the door. Finally, he gets up and walks towards the door.

"This is ridiculous! I'm so sick of your excuses.

"One day is fine and next is black"

Before Jonathan sits down, he lowers the volume on the stereo.

"He's not coming, is he?"

"Do you even like baseball?" Jonathan asks softly.

"No, but... I don't know." He shrugs sadly. "It's fun to go with him sometimes."

"Come on. Has he ever done anything with you that you actually like? You know, like the arcade or something?"

Will shrugs his shoulders weakly. "I don't know."

"No, all right? He hasn't. He's trying to force you to like normal things. And you shouldn't like things because people tell you you're supposed to. Okay?"

Will only looks down at his feet sadly.

"Especially not him."

Will silently nods his head in understanding.

Jonathan decided to change the subject.

"But you like The Clash? For real?"

Will nods his head eagerly with a smile. "For real. Definitely."

"So... is Y/n a fan of The Clash?" Jonathan asks, genuinely curious.

A faint blush dusts Will's cheeks as he looks down at his hands. "Um, yeah, I think so."

"Maybe you should show this to him. I bet he'll like it."

"Maybe. You think?"

"Yeah, from what I know, he has great taste. He's pretty cool."

A loving smile spreads across Will's face. "Yeah, he is pretty cool."

There's a small pause filled only with the now dulled melody of drums and guitar drifting through the air. They had talked about it before, but only vaguely, never fully addressing it and it dawned on Jonathan that there was probably still loads of fear for Will because of it. He looks down at his brother who he loved more than anything and sent him an encouraging, honest smile.

"Will, you guys are best friends. You two are just too close to ruin the friendship. Why don't you think about asking him to the arcade or something? Just the two of you, maybe come back here for some mac and cheese or something if that'd make you feel safer, and you could " he shrugs. "let him know how you feel?"

Will looked up at his brother, shocked. But his body was flushed with relief, he could feel the air in the room hitting his sweaty and clammey skin giving him chills. Not quite knowing how to handle his brothers reaction, his eyes simply fall to his hands where they fidgeting in his lap.

"But what if that does ruin the friendship? What if he doesn't feel the same way, and decides to stop hanging out with me. Or if someone finds out- I just- I just can't. I'm not ready."

"That's okay. All I'm saying is, he is way too nice to be the kind of person who would do that. And you are way too important to him. And hey, if you ever do feel ready, or you guys do go out in the future..." Jonathan trails off, sensing the awkwardness creep up. He chuckles and looks back to his brother.

"All I'm trying to say is, I'm here for you. Always."

Will smiles gratefully and Jonathan leans forward to the volume back up.

"Should I stay or should I go? So you gotta let me know, should I stay or should I go?"

- 𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Brian Johnson

(Not my gif)(Requested by @bloodrosered )

(Up next is the Austin Powers headcanons I promise!)

- You meet Brian in detention. You’re one of Allison’s only friends and she managed to convince you to come and hang out with her. You’d never been to a weekend detention so you figured you’d give it a try, your best friend was there, how bad could it be?

- When you got there, Bender immediately started to flirt with you. Andrew was preoccupied with talking to Claire, and Brian... well Brian was staring at you.

- Bender takes notice of his staring and after he does he’s all sarcasm and asshole jokes from then on.

“Is she a part of the physics club too?”

“Wha? N-No, why?”

“We’ll you’re looking at her like she is.”

“I’m not looking at anyone.”

“Do you want to get in her pants Brian? Wanna feel her up? How about you sweets? Would you like Brian here to feel you up?”

- Allison tells him to shut up but she’s kind of amused. Brian feels like there’s steam coming out of his ears with how hot his face is. He’s so afraid that he’s blushing and making a fool of himself in front of you.

“Sure, why not? Sex is all ‘nerds’ think about isn’t it? Makes them good in the sack.” Allison joins you as you laugh.

“Well Brian... go on, make your move. She’s given you permission.” Bender smirks at him as the boy turns bright red.

- The two of you chat a bit during detention, learning more about each other and connecting on some things. By the end of the day you sort of feel something for the boy.

- When detention is over he nervously stops you outside and asks for your number. He’s shuffling awkwardly and his cheeks are pink, it’s really quite adorable. He melts at the sight of your smile.

- On the car ride home he’s staring at the numbers written on his arm and wondering if he’s dreaming or not. He can’t believe he went to detention and came out with a girl who actually thought he was cute.

- When he calls you the next day he almost expects the number to be fake. He still has to jump around his room, phone in hand, to round up the courage to call the number regardless of his suspicion. He gets yelled at for making so much noise from his jumping.

- You pick up just in time to hear him yelling an apology to his parents. You awkwardly asked who it was and he couldn’t help but smile when he heard your voice even though he was slightly embarrassed. You can’t deny that you had the same reaction when you heard his voice.

- He asked you out to the movies, a horror movie. He didn’t anticipate that it would be the worst movie that either of you had ever seen. The both of you were laughing at the excessive horribly fake looking gore and crappy acting.

- You were so bored that you just leaned over and kissed him. He’s shocked but kisses back although it’s sort of messy and awkward since he’d never kissed anyone before. He learns quickly though and it’s better than watching the movie.

- When you pull away you go back to watching the movie with a little smile. You’ll probably have to pull his arm around your shoulder since he’s too shy to do it himself.

- By the end of the night he kind of expects you not to want to see him again. He thinks he’s totally fucked up his chances but then you kiss him on your porch and tell him to meet you at the school doors in the morning. He can’t believe his luck, he’s smiling and jumping around all the way home.

- When you first start dating he tries to impress you a lot. You have to reassure him that you like him just the way he is.

- Allison thinks you two are cute and jokingly says you should thank her for finding you a boyfriend. She’ll still brag that’s shes the one who got the jock.

- Brian is a little too shy for Pda but he’ll hold your hand or wrap an arm around you occasionally. You’ll have to kiss him if you want one.

- He does calm down around you, you’re actually able to get him to goof off and be himself without being embarrassed.

- Study dates. He never minds helping you with your homework.

- When the two of you are cuddling he likes having you as close to him as possible.

- Dancing together.

- Every week you get together and watch movies, comedies are his favorite. He has a collection and he insists that you watch all of them with him at least once.

- He’s the pouty kind of jealous. He just mopes around and feels bad whenever he thinks you’re interested in someone or someone’s interested in you.

- Obviously he can be pretty insecure at times. He can’t believe you would go for a nerd like him in the first place and actually stick around after getting to know him.

- You guys probably smoked together at some point. God knows he needs a little something to help him relax.

- You help him loosen up and teach him that it isn’t the end of the world if he has a little fun. What his parents don’t know can’t hurt him, right?

- He compliments you a lot. He just wants you to know how great you are.

- Cute bashful smiles.

- You probably join some of the clubs he’s in to try and spend more time with him.

- Borrowing his jackets and sweaters. They’re all really soft and smell like him, he thinks it’s cute that you like to wear them.

- Double dates with Allison and Andrew.

- You occasionally talk with Carl the janitor because of him. The two of them are friends so by default you form a sort of friendship with the man as well.

- Sometimes he’ll quote old plays to you, he’s a fan of Molière.

- Hes not good with sarcasm. Be kind to him for he is a mere child, full of innocence and naivety.

- Going to rallies with him, he’s very passionate about the state of his country.

- Helping him get a proper fake ID...so he can vote.

- Pulling him in by his scarf for a kiss.

- He doesn’t like conflict and will actively try to stop you or his friends from arguing/fighting.

- He’s tried to cook you dinner and it’s either gone really well or really badly. He is confident in his spaghetti making skills, everything else is murky water.

- He’s usually pretty hesitant and anxious so he’ll ask you a lot of questions about what you’re doing or for your opinion on things.

- Standing up for him against bullies. You can practically we him melt whenever you do.

- The people in your school are kind of assholes and have definitely asked you why you’re dating him. Some even go as far as to say that you should date someone more popular or “in your league”. You tend to not tell Brian because you know it won’t do anything besides upset him.

- Although he has found out about it and surprised you with the question of whether you’d leave him for someone “better than him”.

- Sometimes you’ll just have to reassure him that you love him. Everybody needs a little reminder, especially when things get tough.

- Arguments hardly ever happen between the two of you. You rarely get mad at each other in general.

- You say ‘I love you’ first. He’s glad because he’d definitely be too nervous to say it before you.

- Allison threatens to beat his ass if he hurts you. He’s kind of afraid of her.

- Dates are going to movies, the arcade, and diners/fast food places; just fun things that you can do without blowing all your allowance/paycheck.

- Brian kind of has no backbone and is easy to manipulate. All you really have to do is compliment him and he’ll do whatever you ask. Be nice to him, he trusts you.

- You explain that he doesn’t need perfect grades to be considered a valuable human.

- Always knowing how to cheer him up and make him smile.

- You’re both just really supportive of each other.

- Unless you’re in the physics club or a straight A student His parents probably don’t like you because you distract him from his studies and seem like “a bad influence”.

- Depending on how confrontational you are, you’ve probably stood up to his parents before and they’ve banned him from seeing you. He’s afraid to defy his parents but they get rid of the ban after his grades drop and he’s miserable all the time.

- When he’s finally allowed to see you again he kisses you really hard and hugs you tightly. He almost seems scared to let go of you. His parents tolerate you after that but there’s still a bit of tension; it’s a love hate relationship.

- He can be pretty cheesy sometimes because half of his romance tactics are from movies and word of mouth by Andrew or Bender.

- At some point he’s asked Allison; she takes pity on him and genuinely tells him to just be himself because you love him for him. She surprisingly never tells you about this conversation.

- You find out from Brian later on and thank her. She just rolls her eyes and says the boy is hopelessly in love with you. You smile and say you feel the same about him while she pretends to gag.

- He loses his virginity to you at some point.

- He definitely wants to marry you in the future, get a good job, maybe have some kids and a cat or something. He just knows he wants you and whatever comes with loving you.

[aperrywilliams]

A Normal Conversation Ch14 (Spencer Reid x Maxine Brenner)

Masterlist

Ch01 Ch02 Ch03 Ch04 Ch05 Ch06 Ch07 Ch08 Ch09 Ch10 Ch11 Ch12 Ch13 Ch14 Ch15 Ch16 Ch17

———————

Summary: Spencer and Max's work does not allow them to see each other more often as they would like. Still they try to enjoy their time together as much as possible.

Word Count: 5562

Rating: Mature. Smut

Warnings: Oral sex (male and female receiving), penetrative sex, cursing.

A/N: I can't believe it took me 13 chapters to get to this!. The song quoted here is “Stardust” - Lyambiko

——————–

Chapter 14: The dance

Already in her apartment, Max dined and tidied the place before bed. She still let out a few frustrated sighs. Of course she wanted to stay, of course she would have liked to go with him to his bed. Of course she wanted to touch his body and being touched. "Are you thinking about that again?... You are incurable Max Brenner. You'll have to wait!" she told herself. But Max couldn't help it, it was a matter of thinking about how she melted every time that man kissed her. Of course she wondered how sex would be like with Spencer. But something also scared her. It's not like she's never been with a man with a complex past but she could swear Spencer's case is more than extreme. They only knew each other a few weeks ago and Max already discovered enough 'episodes' about Reid’s life. But unlike other times, she didn't feel compelled to just 'contain', and Max could even say she felt herself contained. "Isn't relationships about it? A mutual share?" she thought. Sure, dismissing the fact Spencer was a tangled man by default, Max was sure decency she saw in him when they first met was a hint enough to give him a chance.

She couldn't help but go over her love life so far, and her conclusion was it had been a disaster for several years now: between tortuous relationships with men who didn't know how to direct their own lives and others who only wanted to dominate hers, Max was sure his taste in men was a constant mistake. That was the reason why she didn't want to exchange numbers with Spencer the first time, and why she didn't want proximity to a stranger. But Max ventured again and she liked the result quite a lot. And after much thought, Max had already decided she was not going to fight the current.

The following days they couldn't see each other too much. Between his new trips and the longer hours she had at school, it had been difficult for them to coincide. Over a period of two weeks they managed to meet for coffee one morning and lunch twice. Of course, calls and messages were constant during this period. Max missed him and Spencer missed her. They were never very explicit in their messages, but it was evident that each had a hard time not thinking about the other.

Spencer had arrived in DC at noon after closing a case and called Max to see if they could meet. Max was finishing a class when her phone rang.

"Hey, are you back?" Max said answering the phone.

"I have just arrived. I'm at BAU now, but I think I may be free early. Do you have time for us to see each other today?”

"At night. Today I’ll be all day at school. Do you think we can having dinner?”

"Yes, it would be perfect. Where do you want to go?" Spencer asked.

“I was thinking… you could come to my place. I’d like to cook something today and you can check the disaster I'm in the kitchen” said Max laughing.

"Sounds good to me, but are you sure? We can go anywhere if you want... you're going to be tired today..." Reid replied.

"It’s ok. I want to do it. Also I want you to try my cooking skills and give me your honest opinion” Max said.

"Perfect. If you want it, it’s ok for me. What time can I come?" Spencer asked.

"Come at 20:00, if that's okay with you" Max replied.

"I'll be there" said Spencer.

"See you, bye" said Max. Hanging up, Reid saw Rossi looking at him with curious eyes and a smile on his face. "What…?" Spencer asked.

"Our genius boy is falling in love..." said Rossi.

"I don't know if I would say that… yet ..." Spencer said.

“Kid, I guarantee you are falling to the cliff of infatuation. After 3 marriages I can tell you about that" said Rossi laughing.

"Really? Do you believe that?"

"Yes, I do. And I’ll only tell you one thing... because I can perceive this makes you anxious: Just do it. Don't look back, don't look forward. Do it". Patting his back, he said goodbye and walked to the elevator.

As promised, at 8:00 p.m. o'clock Spencer was knocking on the door. When Max opened, Spencer gave her a smile.

"Hi" Reid said without moving from where he was.

"Hey... handsome, how are you?" Max said approaching to give him a welcome kiss. Spencer cupped her cheeks with both hands and leaned down to kiss her. After a long, soft kiss, Max spoke.

"I missed you Dr. Reid" Max said smiling.

"I missed you too. So much". Another kiss completed the mutual declaration. As he turned away, Max invited him inside.

Spencer could see the table was set with a tablecloth and dishes for two. It wasn't too elegant, but you could see the attention to detail. Max went to the kitchen to finish preparing dinner. Spencer followed her.

"Can I help you with something?" Reid asked.

“I'm fine… but if you want, you can open the wine over there. Meal is ready, so I’ll put the food on plates and join to you”. Spencer nodded and took the wine corkscrew that Max handed him. He went to the table and started to open the bottle of wine. Max put the plates together and came to the table with one for Spencer and one for her.

"This smells great, what did you did?" Reid asked curiously.

“It is quite simple, but I really like it: it is a slow-roasted meat in red wine with vegetables. The special touch is in the smoothie goes with it. It is a semi-sugary corn paste” Max explained.

"Wow, and where did you learn this?" Spencer asked curiously.

“My mom taught it to me as a child. I really like it. Of course she didn’t cook it with red wine” said Max with a smile.

They both sat down to dinner. They talked and catching up on the past few weeks. Spencer told her things at the BAU were a little strange, starting with JJ being able to accept a job outside the city, and although he saw nothing wrong with that, after so many years it was rare to think 'the gang' could separate. Max told him they called her from the Smithsonian that morning to tell her she was on the short list and would have a new interview in the next few days.

"That's excellent news Max!... you didn't tell me anything when we talked today..." Spencer reproached her.

"I wanted to tell you in person... of course if we had not seen each other today, surely tomorrow I would tell you on the phone" she said.

"Well, this require a toast" Spencer filled Max's glass and his own and raised it. "For your next new job" he said.

"So be it..." Max said. They toasted each and took a sip from their glass.

They had finished dinner and cleaned the dishes. Spencer had offered to order the wash and put it on the shelves. Max walked over to his stereo and put in a playlist. She sat on the couch, waiting for Spencer to finish his tasks. Once everything was in place, Reid sat next to her on the couch, opening his arms inviting her to rest in his embrace.

"Come here" he said as Max settled herself resting her head on Spencer’s chest. Reid closed the hug with one of his hands caressing Max's face and the other tracing soft caresses on her arm.

"It had been days since we could be like this..." Max reflected.

“Yes, our schedules have been complicated. I’m so sorry. We've had too many cases together these weeks…” Spencer sighed.

"Don’t be sorry. I'm not reproaching nothing to you, let's just take advantage of the fact we have this moment…”. They were silent listening to the music was coming out of the speakers. They were both relaxed and sleepy. One of the songs on the playlist caused Max to leave her sleepy state. An idea crossed her mind but she didn't know if Spencer would like it too. She looked up to meet his gaze. Reid looked at her with curious eyes.

“What’s wrong…?" Spencer said following Max with his eyes.

"Do you want to dance… with me?" Max asked looking at him.

"Ehhh… I think it wouldn't be a good idea…" Spencer said shaking his head with drowsiness. Max got up from the couch and stared at him.

"Why not? I think it is an excellent idea” She took his hand and tried to pull him up from the couch. "Come! Besides, nobody is watching us, so you shouldn't be ashamed... if that's what worries you"

"I'm not a 'dancing' kind of man... I think I told you so…" Reid stated reluctantly.

"I know, I know... but you can make an exception today, right?... Also, I must insist, we’re alone. There is nothing to worry about. Come on, let's go!, please?". Max kept tugging on his hand until she managed to get Spencer up from the couch.

Once standing, Max approached him and put her head and free hand on his chest. Max began to move smoothly starting the dance. Spencer squeezed her hand and wrapped his other arm around her waist.

"I see you don't handle a 'No' for answer…" Spencer said smiling and giving up on his initial refusal.

"Of course not. Come on, relax. You're tense” said Max, shaking Spencer's outstretched arm. "Dancing is supposed to relax you..."

"I just don't know how to dance Max... I can't relax with something I don't know how to do" he claimed trying to relax his muscles.

"You don't have to 'know' how to dance... just close your eyes and listen to the music... is a slow dance, we're not dancing tango". Spencer closed his eyes as rested his chin on Max's head. He relaxed his arms a little and began to move smoothly to the beat of the music. His feet moved awkwardly at first, but he slowly adjusted to the rhythm. Spencer was not a guy who liked to dance and if he ever did, it was quite reluctant. The last time he remembers dancing was in a dream where he was with Maeve, not even in real life. The memory shook him so he could only squeeze Max's hand tighter and cling to her waist. Reid kept his eyes closed and tried to let go.

Sometimes I wonder why I spend

The lonely night dreaming of a song

The melody haunts my reverie

And I am once again with you…

Neither spoke. They just moved to the beat of the music. Spencer no longer felt the clumsiness of his feet and preferred to focus on feeling the scent of Max's hair permeating his nose. He breathed deeply so could treasure it in his memory. It felt so strangely good. He was contained in her embrace. It was something Spencer could hardly describe. There were few times he felt able to lower his guard, to suspend his constant alertness.

Max, meanwhile, could feel Spencer's heartbeat. The deeper she buried her face in his chest, the more she listened to his heartbeat. Max could also feel his breathing. She wondered if it was possible to live without detaching herself from his body.

Beside a garden wall

When stars are bright

You are in my arms

The nightingale tells his fairy tale

A paradise where roses Bloom…

They both felt the rumble of music in their bodies as they continued to dance slowly. Spencer stamped a kiss on Max's forehead who responded by holding onto him tighter. Neither wanted to depart from the other. After a few minutes Max was the first to speak.

"Not bad for not knowing how to dance Dr. Reid" she said with a soft tone of voice as they continued to move to the music.

"I'm practically just swinging without moving my feet" Spencer said.

"But that's a good start. You just need a little practice” said Max.

"Are you decided to teach me how to dance?" Spencer said smiling and stifling the words as his mouth rested on Max's hair. She took a minute before answering.

"Among other things... I would like to teach you..." Max said as she gave him a subtle pinch on the ass. Spencer's heart stopped for a second, as did his feet. Reid could have sworn he stopped breathing for a few seconds. Max pulled away to look him. "Do you want me to teach you?" she asked staring at him.

"Perhaps... perhaps I'm a stubborn student... I don't know if you're ready for that" Spencer said smiling almost without blinking and with cheeks flushed.

"I’m willing to try" Max's arms wrapped around Spencer's neck as he leaned in close enough to reach her lips and start an intense kiss.

They both let out a stifled sigh as they kissed. Max's hands tangled in Spencer's hair as his arms gripped Max’s waist tighter each time. They were still moving to the music, but their hands could no longer be still. Just as their mouths and tongues were urgently sought.

After a few minutes and without much thought they moved to the edge of the couch where they dropped without unstuck their lips or their bodies. As the seconds passed, the kisses became more urgent as they caressed everything they could find each other: Max focused on Spencer's hair and neck, while he caressed her back and hips. With one of his hands he held Max's chin to avoid pulling her lips away. The music was still playing, but the dance had already lost priority. This was already a session of passionate kisses and caresses followed by deep sighs from both of them.

"I must say... you are a quick study" Max said as Spencer buried his mouth in her neck.

"Max… if you don't want me to continue, stop me now… please" Spencer said in a whisper and drowning out his words as he kissed her neck and chin. His hands were eagerly lost under her sweater.

"I'm not going to..." Max was eagerly untying Spencer's tie.

"Are you sure…?" he asked, alternating kisses between her neck and her lips.

"Do you remember what I told you the last time we were like this?" Max said with a sigh as she began to unbutton his shirt. Spencer bringing the memory to his head let out a groan.

"I don't want to do something you don't want..." he said as lifted her sweater and pulled it out.

"You won’t do it…". Max had already unbuttoned Spencer's shirt and was starting to caress his bared chest with both hands. A whimper escaped from Spencer’s mouth as he felt Max's hands play to remove the shirt from his torso. Spencer pulled his arms away to drop the garment to the floor, then with both hands began to touch Max's breasts over the bra that was still in place.

"Oh God... I need you so much..."

"Come on Dr. Reid... take all what belongs to you ... just do it ..."

Reid slowly lowered the straps to reveal the bareness of her breasts. He couldn't help but moan with satisfaction at being able to touch them as his mouth sank down Max’s neck again to kiss and suck. Max closed her eyes for a moment at the contact of Spencer's hands on her bare half. She let out a moan when Spencer caught one of her nipples with his mouth.

"Spencer... it’s feels so good..." she said with a sigh.

"You are so beautiful... your tits are amazing..." he said, interspersing kisses and sucking on one of her breasts. Max stroked his hair as Reid head sank into her breasts. His hands went down her waist to her thighs. Spencer hesitated for a minute about unbutton her jeans. His hands traveled anxiously across her belly, her hips, and her ass. It wasn't until Max began to unbutton her jeans herself and lift her hips enough so that he could slide them to her feet. Spencer looked at her with fire in the eyes and could see how Max was breathing quickly holding her eyes on him as he took off her jeans, one leg at a time. Without thinking twice, he put one of her legs over his shoulder and buried his mouth between Max’s legs, nibbling on the fabric of her underwear while he was holding her hip with both hands. Max couldn't help but arch her back and throw head back, letting out a deep moan.

"Oh my God, Spencer... this is ... ohhh" she managed to say not expecting to be consistent in words. Reid was determined to go further, so his hands began to slide down her legs. With one of them he took the fabric of the underwear and began to slide it gently down her legs. Just to remove the garment from her, Spencer momentarily lowered one of the legs rested on his shoulder. Then he returned it to its place. With the other hand, he began to explore the depths of her core by gently sliding one of his fingers. The moisture he found did nothing but excite him further and he dipped his finger in to feel it harder, letting out a moan. To the contact Max could not help but hop. She could feel how that finger managed to explore within herself beyond what she had imagined. The contact caused more arousal on her and began to move to feel more depth and friction.

"Please... Spencer... I need more...". This words made Reid raise his bet with a second finger. She shuddered on contact again. He couldn't help but bite his lower lip as he looked at Max's eyes stiff at the sensation running through her body. At the movement of Spencer's fingers within herself, she was unable to control her own, seeking to intensify the sensation by moving hard on them. Desperately Spencer kissed the leg on his shoulder, lowering his tongue until reached the same place where his fingers were working with great energy. Without further warning he slipped his tongue to catch some of its moisture mixed with his own saliva. A stifled moan made Max tremble at the vibration of his voice running through her body. As a third finger began to penetrate her, Spencer’s tongue captured her clit, licking and sucking the exposed nerve as if his life depended on it.

"Oh... fuck, Spencer..." Max let out almost a cry overflowing with pleasure. The more he accelerated the movements of his fingers and his tongue the more he could feel Max shiver under his touch. Also accelerating the movement of his tongue and fingers Spencer could feel her moaning louder as she held on to his hair. Hearing Max’s voice screaming his name excited him more, letting out moans that echoed in Max's skin. Spencer knew Max was close to her orgasm feeling her body tremble at every thrusting. His tongue left her clit and climbed up her belly, her breasts, and back into her mouth. With his other hand he went back over her clit, making circular movements over it. She was able to taste her own moisture in his mouth. The movements of his fingers in her core did not soothe either, quite the opposite, bringing desperate prayers out of her mouth as her orgasm approached.

"Oh fuck... I can't... Spencer... please... don't stop... I'm going to cum..." she said frenzy as her nails scratched Reid's shoulders.

"Do it beauty, cum in my fingers... just like that, do it..." he said trying to help her to find her release, while the movements of his fingers became more frantic than ever. Those words, the movements of his fingers and his mouth kissing and sucking her neck, was what ended up taking Max to the limit of her discharge of pleasure, which was warned by Spencer for the spasms of her legs and muscles from her abdomen. That along with the words that came out of her half-open mouth.

"Fuck ... Spencer ... uhhh, fuck!" It was the last she could say before falling exhausted at her ecstasy. She was blank and trembling completely with her eyes lost on the ceiling. When the spasms stopped, Spencer pulled his fingers out, still looking at her. Her messy hair, the sweat running down her forehead and her eyes full of pleasure. It couldn't have been more satisfying for him. When their gazes finally met, they both started laughing.

"Too bad?" Spencer asked as pressed an intense kiss to her lips, lowering the leg was over his shoulder and resting his head between Max’s shoulder and neck. Max didn’t reply. Her still labored breathing was evidence she was just coming down from the heights of her orgasm. After a moment, Max managed to get up from the couch. Without saying a word, she took Spencer's hand and pulled him to follow her. So she drew him to bedroom and without stopping looking at him she pushed him onto the bed. Spencer released his shoes and threw them to the floor, while Max leaned down enough to grab his belt and begin to release the buckle. Reid resting on his forearms watched ecstatically as Max managed to remove his belt and lower the zipper of his slacks, which were slid down his legs to the floor revealing his boxers and an evident erection. It only took Max a few movements to drop the last garment to the ground. She could see Spencer breathing hard and with his eyes fixed on hers. She leaned forward just enough to take the erection with one hand as tongue traveled across his stomach and chest. Moans escaped from Spencer's mouth, which grew as Max accelerated the movement of her hand. He drew her close enough to be able to kiss her as her hand continued to work on him. Due to the arousal, it wasn't long before Spencer's moans grew thicker and deeper. His ragged breathing was a sign that he was close. He said some loose words as the air that reached his lungs left him.

"Fu... Max, like this. Fuck yeah… oh fuck…” It was too late for any other reaction. Spencer began to tremble knowing it was close to cum. When he thought he was about to, noticed Max release his dick and lowered her head enough to catch it with the mouth. Her nails were scratching his abdomen as she began to suck. Spencer stayed with arms dropped and on back staring at the ceiling. Spencer was trying to keep his eyes open, but the feeling was so intense he found it hard not to moan and not squeeze his eyes.

"Max... you don't have... oh, fuck. It feels so good... shit…" He manage to said this words before feeling his body contract and find his own release in Max's mouth. A last growl tore from his throat before emptying completely.

After that only the ragged breaths of both were heard trying to regulate themselves. Max sat up on the bed next to him and with the same sheets wiped her mouth. They both laid in their backs looking the ceiling. Still with a ragged breath, Spencer turned his head to look at her. She did the same. When their eyes met they couldn't help but smile.

"That was... awesome" Spencer said, having already caught his breath.

"I'm sure you enjoyed it as much as I did" Max said laughing.

"Oh yeah, I enjoyed it" They both laughed. Spencer extended his arm so Max could curl up. Max stroked his chest as collected drops of sweat she found in his path with her fingers. Spencer stroked her bare arm with one hand. They were silent, enjoying the post-orgasmic moment as they watched the lights seep in through the half-open curtain. After a few minutes, Max left Spencer's embrace and got out of bed.

"I think I should go to the bathroom..." said Max.

"Are you ok?" Reid asked.

"Yes, I just... you know... need clean myself up a bit"

"Sure... oh yeah, my ‘disaster’" said Spencer laughing.

"Silly. I’ll be right back" Max replied before get in to the bathroom.

When Max returned to the bedroom, Spencer had settled laid on one side of the bed with eyes closed. Max lay down next to him. When Reid felt her, opened his eyes and offered his arm to settle against his body. They were silent as they rubbed each other. The contact of the fingers on his skin electrified Max, who couldn't detach herself from Spencer's body. He sought her lips once more, merging into a deep kiss, then they continued holding each other and caressing each other. At one point Max broke the silence.

"¿Spencer?” asked Max.

“¿Yeah?...”

“You know? I like how I feel with you..." Max said as they huddled together.

"And how is that…?" Spencer asked as he gave Max short kisses on her lips, nose and chin.

"Desired... beloved... protected... I don't know, all that at the same time..." Max said as played with the curls of his hair.

"And you know how you make me feel...?" Spencer asked.

"No... tell me..." she said as she stroked one of his cheeks.

"As if I never wanted to detach myself from your body, as if it was never enough to touch you..." Spencer said as leaned over Max's body to touch her hips and thighs. She caught his lips with hers searching for his tongue, which became entangled in a game making moans and sighs in both of them. Spencer found himself on top of her, sinking his mouth into her neck, his new favorite spot, as his hands began to trail her body again. Max could feel a new erection rubbing against her thighs. The contact only served to let more moans out of her mouth. They both wanted it. The two wanted to give each other the pleasure of their own bodies. Max wanted to feel him inside her and with her hands grabbed onto Spencer's back to make the friction more intense. Spencer paused for a moment.

"Are you sure?... is that what you want?" he asked looking her in the eye. She nodded.

"Spencer... I want to feel you in me... please...". That was the answer he expected. Reid quickly got out of bed and went to the living room looking on his bag and taking out a small package from one of its pockets. When he returned to the room Max was looking at him and couldn't help but laugh. Spencer blushed a little embarrassed.

"Sorry, I'm not very clever at these things. I should have had it closer…”

"Come here, I’ll help you" Spencer walked over and handed her one of the condoms from the box. He never thought putting on a condom could be so erotic and stimulating, but Max made that simple act more exciting than if he had done it himself. Once ready, he leaned over her on the bed, caressing her body and seeking to adjust his touch to her skin again. She felt a heat as his fingers went up her belly, her breasts, her neck and her cheeks. Max clung to her back as Spencer searched for the perfect position. His slow entrance produced a unison groan in both.

"Oh fuck... you're so..." was the only thing he managed to say before Max in an act of boldness raised her hips without warning. She wanted feel it completely. A roar tore from Spencer's mouth, which sank into Max's shoulder as he grabbed her hips to start moving inside her. Max circled Reid’s neck while her nails scratched the base of his head and back. The thrusts began slow but intense, accompanied by gasps and sweat that started to flow down the body of both. Spencer increased the speed of his thrusts while time passing. The desire to feel each other had reached a point of no return. The moans mingled with the vocalization of their names only increased arousal in both of them. Max could feel her walls tighten with friction and it drove her madder and louder. She was very close to losing herself in ecstasy and her body began to tremble, which made Spencer accelerate his pace. Max was not able to continue clinging to him so she stretched her arms over the bed so she could hold on to the sheets and sink her nape into the pillows. Spencer took the opportunity to slide one of his hands over her clit and with his fingers traced circular movements overstimulating Max who could not stop moaning.

“Spencer... oh yeah. Please… fuck me! yes! like that!… don't you dare stop…”. Those words seemed like prayers. She couldn't keep eyes open. Arching her back she was about to explode. Spencer was panting and trying to keep up the pace. He wanted so badly to see her cum so when he knew she was about to, he slipped the right words.

"Max, beauty... cum for me, let me feel how you cum with me inside you... that’s it, like that... you feel so good...". Max's body contracted and with a gasp she felt the shock of an intense orgasm. Spencer sped up his pace knowing he was close too. They looked at each other and Spencer seeing those eyes lost in pleasure could not hold it any longer and released himself in his own orgasm. A long, throaty moan accompanied his own spasms, which ended in knocking him over Max's body, dropping his head on one of her shoulders.

Neither moved. They were trying to regulate their breathing. Max could feel Spencer's breathing in her ear. She turned her head slightly to kiss him on the face. He responded by kissing her shoulder. Then he sit up a little so he could catch her gaze. Max gave him a smile as her eyes sparkled and he could still feel the agitation of her breathing. With one of his hands he wiped a line of sweat that ran down her forehead and smoothed her hair a little.

"I can't believe it... even at such a time you try to be a gentleman..." Max said. Spencer smiled.

Without answering, he gave her an intense kiss on the lips. Then she sat up on the bed. Max couldn't help but let out a small moan as she felt Spencer come out of her. Once Reid put the condom in the trash can next to the nightstand, he lay down on the bed again, on her back and next to her. Without thinking they held hands. After a few minutes they were both back from the highs.

"Not bad at all Dr. Reid" Max said laughing.

"Not bad at all, Miss Brenner" Spencer replied in the same tone. "Are you cold? Do you want to cover you?" he asked.

"I'm ok, really. Just hug me, ok?” Max's voice revealed some drowsiness from all the previous stimulation.

"Come here ..." Spencer wrapped his arm around Max into an embrace against his body. She could feel his breathing calming more with the passing of time. Max traced imaginary drawings on his chest, which rose and fell with each breath. After a while she could swear Spencer was falling asleep. Max closed her eyes too. They stayed like that for a long time until Spencer spoke.

"I should go home and let you sleep. It's late” Spencer said quietly stroking Max's hair.

"Uhm? I thought you were sleeping…” Max said opening her eyes to look at him.

"I was falling asleep... in fact" Spencer declared.

"And why do you want to go?" Max asked curiously.

"No. I don’t want to... but tomorrow we both have work" Spencer said with a sigh.

"No, please... stay tonight. I promise we’ll wake up early and have enough time to prepare for work” Max offered.

"Are you sure? Don't you want me to go home...?" Reid asked again.

"No... I mean, if you want to... but, is something wrong?" Max sat up to look at him.

"No, nothing particular... just..." Spencer said trying to explain herself.

"Just…?" Max repeated without understanding Spencer's reluctance.

"It's just it's not usual for me to spend the night with someone... I mean, you know, to stay after sex. I usually go home…”. Spencer shrugged at the statement. Max smiled.

"You don't have to do that today..." she said taking his chin forcing him to look at her. Spencer smiled.

"I don’t know if I snore too loud... or I talk asleep" he said in a warning tone. Max couldn't help but laugh.

"We'll see if becomes a problem, Dr. Reid". Max kissed Spencer and snuggled back against his body. Spencer closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and after a while he could feel his body surrender to sleep. Max took the comforter and stretched it out to cover both as she returned to her position with head on Spencer’s chest. After a few moments they both fell into a deep sleep.

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

FEMSLASH FEBRUARY 2020 #22: In which Cameron and Donna get dressed

[CN: gender non-conformity and related bodily discomfort with gendered clothing; non-graphic references to being harassed for gender non-conformity]

Ed’s note: @dealanexmachina sent me a prompt, and this is a follow up to the post it originally inspired!

(PREVIOUSLY)

Two nights before the gala, Cameron showed up to Donna’s house for their nightly work date carrying a garment bag. “Uh, is it cool if I leave this here? And like, maybe I could just show up early and get dressed here, before the party?” Donna eyed the garment bag with apparent interest. “I called Risa, and her partner, we went shopping, and I saw their tailor.” 

Donna’s face lit up. “So it worked out then? That’s great! Let me put this in my closet….” Donna got up and started toward her room, and Cameron went with her. When they got there, Cameron handed the bag over, and Donna hung it from a hook on the back of the door. Then, she asked, “Hey, can I look? I’m curious about what you wound up picking out.”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Cameron had said, uncertain.

Donna unzipped the bag, and when she saw the gray blazer inside, she smiled. 

Nervously, Cameron laughed, “What?”

“Nothing, it just reminds me of a blazer you used to wear when we first moved out here,” Donna said. “The one that fit you really well. You had some stuff back then that started to cross the line from ‘oversized’ to ‘it looks too big on her,’ but, you also had stuff that looked really nice on you.” Donna gently touched the blazer’s lapel, and without meaning to, imagined smoothing out the blazer while Cameron was actually wearing it, and Cameron smiling back at her as she did so. Face feeling warm, Donna zipped up the bag. “So how was it? Shopping, I mean? It wasn’t terrible, was it?”

“Eh,” Cameron sighed. “It wasn’t terrible, Risa actually came with me?”

“Aw!” Donna exclaimed. “I wish I could’ve been there!”

Looking very uncomfortable, Cameron had said, “It was a lot. It wasn’t just shopping, it was like…what I imagine therapy is like. And why I’m not interested in therapy.”

“Oh?” Donna frowned.

Cameron shook her head. “There was just, a lot of ‘why do you think wearing dresses and other women’s clothes causes you so much discomfort? Why do you think you’re feeling discomfort right now? What are you worried about, Cameron, why does this scare you?’ It was a long day.”

“Oh. Well, did it work?” Donna asked.

Tentatively, Cameron said, “I found something to wear, so, I guess?”

When Cameron showed up at Donna’s house, two days later, an entire hour before the gala was slated to begin, the only thing more shocking than her punctuality was how she looked: Donna, in a dressing gown herself, her hair already set in curlers, opened her front door expecting to find a delivery person or early guest, but there was Cameron, in a button down flannel shirt and her overalls, carrying her backpack as always, but with her hair clearly just washed, moussed, blow dried, and smoothed into place, and her (barely detectable) makeup already done. 

“Okay, the shocked look on your face? Is not a compliment,” Cameron snapped.

“It’s not shock!” Donna had protested. “It’s just…you look great.”

“Well,” Cameron pushed past her, “when I get back to the salon, I’ll be sure to let everyone there know you approve of my makeover.”

Haley and Vanessa had just sat down at the dining room table with Vanessa’s tarot cards and guide book. They watched as Cameron came in, Donna following her. Vanessa whistled, and called out, “Foxy lady!”

Cameron blushed, but then she stopped and turned to Donna. “See? That felt like a compliment.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Not that I came here like this looking for compliments.”

Vanessa and Haley looked at each other, and then back at Cameron and Donna. 

Unsure of what else to say, Donna defaulted to momsplaining mode. “So, Cameron is here, for the gala!”

“Gala tiiiime, excellennnnt!” Vanessa sang.

“Are those the same overalls you wore last year? When you fell into the pool?” Haley asked. 

“A fashion statement that’s bold in its casual whimsy,” Vanessa said.

“She’s got a more formal outfit to wear,” Donna said. “She went shopping with Risa.”

Voice full of sudden yearning, Haley said, “I wanna go shopping with Risa,”

“Can I also get in on that?” Vanessa asked. “Because I’d like to see that.”

“Would you, though?” Cameron squinted. Clutching at the straps of her backpack, she warned them, “Risa doesn’t let you just pick things out and try them on. She makes you talk about your feelings.”

In unison, Vanessa and Haley both said, “That sounds like her.”

“Well prom is coming up, right sweetie?” Donna asked. Haley gave her a look, and then Donna said, “There’s also graduation. Maybe if Risa wouldn’t mind, we could all go?” 

Flatly, Cameron said, “I love you all, but that still sounds like hell on earth.”

Vanessa and Haley laughed out loud, and Donna, struggling to suppress her own laughter, grimaced broadly. “Speaking of which!” she said. “It’s almost time. Wanna go get dressed?”

Haley and Vanessa looked at each other again.

Still feeling incredibly self-conscious and put out by the entire thing, Cameron said, “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Okay! You girls have fun, and, I guess we’ll see you later?” Donna said. 

“We will definitely be here,” Vanessa said.

Donna started toward her bedroom, and Cameron went with her. Haley watched them, and under her breath, she said, “God I wish Joanie was here to see this.”

Vanessa smirked at her.

In her bedroom, Donna grinned, “You really do look very nice. I know it’s different and that we’re teasing you about it, but it’s not because it didn’t turn out right.” She quietly closed the door most of the way without shutting it entirely. She turned back to Cameron, and said, “We’re mostly teasing you because you seem like you kind of hate it.”

Cameron shrugged off her backpack. Face scrunched, she said, “I do kind of hate it. I hate how it always feels like I’m dressing up for someone else, or some secret universal beauty pageant, even though I’m not really.”

Donna sat down lightly at her vanity. “Well, in that case, next year, change of plans. Instead of a gala, I’ll have a hayride, so you can wear your overalls, and I can wear my cowboy boots that still haven’t seen the light of day in this state.” 

Cameron smiled tentatively, arms crossed over her chest again. “I’ll invest in a new flannel shirt for the occasion.” 

Picking up an eye shadow brush, Donna said, “Your clothes are still hanging in the same spot in the walk-in, if you wanna get dressed in there?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Cameron said. She looked around the room uncertainly, as if looking for directions, or maybe an excuse to do something else, and then she turned and went into the closet.

Donna swept some slightly shimmery taupe eye shadow onto her right eyelid, and then blended it out through the crease. She did the same to the second eye, and then picking up a black pencil eye liner, she awkwardly said, “So this is fun, huh…? Just…gettin’ ready together…having’ fun….”

As she unbuttoned her shirt, Cameron said, “Yes, my high school dreams of being best friends with the pretty, popular girls is finally coming true.”

Donna used a stiffer brush to smudge the minimal amount of eye liner she’d just applied close to her right eye’s lash line. She pictured Cameron, struggling to put on clothes she didn’t love for a party that she didn’t want to go to. “You know, I’m glad you’re here?” she called out. “I really hope it won’t be completely miserable for you, though.”

Pulling on her brand new trousers, Cameron said, “Well, there’s gonna be food, and you’ll be there. It’ll be like every night that I’m here, just with like 50 other people. I’ll manage.”

Curling her eye lashes now, Donna gazed into the mirror, and again, without really meaning to, imagined Cameron, on the other side of her closet door, carefully getting dressed for her gala, and was overwhelmed by a surge of affection. She felt herself start to flush, and then looked in the mirror, and saw her cheeks glowing red. She took a deep breath, and said, “Well, I appreciate it. And who knows, maybe you’ll even have fun, and meet some new people?” She moved on to applying her mascara as calmly as she could. 

Tucking her shirt into her trousers, Cameron grinned, “Stranger things have happened, right?”

Donna was tapping on some concealer when Cameron quietly stepped back into the bedroom a couple minutes later. She sat down on the bench in front of Donna’s bed, and pulled a pair of pointy black brogues out of her bag.

Donna glanced back over her shoulder. “Those look really nice.” When Cameron didn’t say anything, Donna asked her, “So, when Risa asked you what you’re ‘scared of,’ and what’s making you ‘uncomfortable.’ What did you say?”

Lacing the first of her shoes, Cameron said, “I told her that I’m scared of looking and feeling silly and like an alien, just like everyone else is. And then she was all, ‘No, be more specific. Dig deep for me, Cameron.’” It had been scary at the time, but Cameron grinned. She put on her other shoe, and said, “So I told her about how finding pants that fit me is really difficult, because they’re always too short, and usually, they’re either weird and baggy, or they’re too tight and show how skinny my legs are. To which Risa said, ‘Well my heart bleeds for you, every pair of paints making you look tall and slim must be a horrendous burden to bear.’”

Donna giggled so hard that she doubled over slightly, and had to put down the blush compact she’d just picked up. 

Cameron sat up, and was quiet for a second, as she listened to Donna, and watched her shoulders shake with quiet laughter. When she finally snorted and then made herself stop, Cameron continued. “Uh, I also realized that I’m weird about fabrics? It’s not just how fancy, formal women’s clothes are cut, the fabrics are like, itchy and weird to me, and like, just thinking about it makes me weirdly anxious?”

Sympathetically, as she blended out her blush, Donna said, “Some fabrics really do feel horrendous, and they don’t breathe well enough.”

Donna had just barely finished her sentence when Cameron blurted out, “When I was a kid people used to make fun of me for looking like a boy. When I was in high school I realized that what they were really saying was that I looked like, you know. Like I didn’t like boys, and that I must like girls.”

Donna looked up from the three lipsticks she’d been trying to choose from, and half turned back toward Cameron. “What do you mean, what people were saying? Did people actually say things about that to you?”

“People mostly thought it, I think,” Cameron said, hunching over in her seat. “There was this one guy I went to high school with who used to bother me about it, like, a lot, like it felt like he lived to bug me about it. My guidance counselor said that maybe it was because he had a crush on me. Which, the feeling really wasn’t even remotely mutual.”

Donna, both lost for words and still struggling to pick a lip color, didn’t say anything. Haltingly, Cameron added, “It took me a really long time to admit this, part of why it bothered me so much is that I wasn’t really interested in boys. And it felt like something must be wrong with me. And pretending that I was didn’t help, it just made me seem weirder, and more awkward, and, fake.”

Rolling her eyes slightly, Donna said, “ I wasn’t interested in boys in high school, either.” She finally decided on the deep rosy nude lipstick and swiped it on. 

Surprised, Cameron sat up. “Really?”

Donna scoffed into her vanity mirror as she started to pull the rollers out of her hair. “I mean, I dated some, in high school, and I fooled around with a couple of boys. But it wasn’t for them, it was for me, because I wanted to go out, and because I wanted to try things, and seeing what being that kind of girl was like. I didn’t really like anyone until college, I was on my own, I was studying what I was interested in, and I met Gordon, and….”

“Your astrophysicist?” Cameron finished for her.

“Yes,” Donna said quietly. She stood up quickly, raked her hair into place with her fingers, and said, “I’m gonna get dressed, though.” She disappeared into her closet, where she started to hyperventilate for a moment, before she made herself calm down and focus on putting on her dress, and stepping into her shoes, and going back out into her room. 

“Hey,” she said, trying to sound relaxed. “Uh, I’m almost ready, I’m just gonna put on some jewelry, so....” She hurried back to her vanity, where she put on a watch.

“Okay,” Cameron stood up. She started to pull her blazer.

Donna turned back to her as she was putting in the second of a pair of small gold hoop earrings. Momentarily forgetting what she was doing, Donna said, “Wow.”

She was wearing the blazer over a plain black crew neck top, which was tucked into her high-waisted gray pleated silk tweed trousers, which were being held up by a pair of plain black suspenders. As if on cue, the color rose in Cameron’s cheeks. “What?” 

“Nothing,” Donna shook her head. “You just do that so well.”

Cameron cackled as she smoothed out her clothes. “Do what well, exactly? Look confused about my gender and sexuality?”

Donna didn’t want to be overly serious, but she also couldn’t bring herself to laugh. “You look good, Cam,” she grinned. “Not every woman can carry that off.” 

Cameron slid her hands into her pockets. “Thanks.”

Donna stepped tentatively toward her bedroom door, and then she stopped to look in the full-length mirror that was hung there. Having worn a long, flowing, sleeveless, bright red dress the previous year, Donna had chosen to go shorter, slimmer, and darker for this gala. A deep wine red sheath with a slightly looser bodice and sleeves, the hemline fell several inches above her knee, and the neckline was high. Donna wasn’t typically one to second guess these kinds of choices, but she looked in the mirror, and worried that the dress was too short. She smoothed out the bottom half of the dress, hoping it would look longer, and then started to compulsively smooth her hair down.

Exasperated, Cameron joined her in front of the mirror. Firmly, she said, “Donna. You look fine.” She looked into the mirror so she could catch Donna’s eye, but then saw the both of them, standing next to each other. We match, Cameron realized. They didn’t literally match, but they looked like they went together. Cameron had never felt that way standing next to anyone else.

Donna looked at her, saw that she was looking in the mirror, and then looked into the mirror with her. I do look fine, she thought. And we really look nice together. Donna smiled at the mirror. 

“You look better than fine,” Cameron said, feeling mildly anxious. “You look really nice, as always.”

“Thank you,” Donna said. “Shall we?”

Cameron nodded, and Donna stepped forward and pulled open the door. She walked through it, and Cameron followed her. 

[mostfreeee]

ABOUT

Long as the voice inside me says go, I will always keep on running.

My Sonic is primarily games & IDW comics verse. But with some small divergents here and there. 

Basics:

Name: Sonic the Hedgehog Age: Canonically 15, but my Sonic is defaulted to 19/20. ( varying greater depending on the verse ) Height: 3ft 2in / 98cm  Weight: 77 lb / 35 kg

Synopsis: Sonic is an anthropomorphic hedgehog who can travel faster than the speed of sound. “Got to go fast” is basically his occupation, when he isn’t taking down robots created by an evil genius known as Eggman. He values freedom and nature, two things Eggman seems determined to oppress and destroy. 

Generally a people person, Sonic cherishes his friends greatly and enjoys meeting new people. He even has a tendency to make nice with his foes, never one to let a bit of rivalry stop him from getting along with someone.

His carefree attitude can make it seem like he is irresponsible and reckless without ever thinking of the consequences. And while the reckless part is true often enough, he has a strong sense of justice and takes it upon himself to step up whenever the world needs saving. 

Apperance:

I see my Sonic having quills on the shorter side, a bit like these (draw by Tyson Hesse) 

As much as I adore the long quills that fall down behind him like in regular Modern Sonic designs, something about the shorter quills that spike more backwards than downwards fits so well. 

Colour Hexes:

The blue fur: #0000e6

The peach fur: #eebc9d

His eyes: #0bda51

Personality:

Sonic is a pretty laid back guy, in his own way.

He loves to travel, going at incredibly fast speeds, but he also likes to relax and read or nap. 

He's all about free will. He wants people to be able to choose what they want to do on their own. Though he knows some people just need a bit of encouragement too and that’s all fine. 

He likes being optimistic

For the most part he isn’t necessarily oblivious, he knows all about the bad in the world, but he likes looking at the bright side. 

He knows that life doesn’t always have a happy ending, but he is able to picture a better future and thus will always strive for it. Even if that means that he’ll end up severely disappointed at times, it’s better than living your whole life like nothing good will ever come.

He strongly believes in second, and even third, chances. If someone wants to change for the better, why not encourage them to? 

Because of this he doesn’t hold grudges well — at least when it comes to himself. If you harmed a friend that’ll get you a bit more of a watchful eye, but ultimately Sonic believes that everyone can change. 

(for better or for worse as seen in IDW comics) 

He doesn’t have a house, but he definitely has a home.

For all his wanderlust, he’ll always make his way back to where his friends are settled at. Most commonly he’ll go to Tails first, and then take his time making rounds to see his friends again. He eventually gets restless if he doesn’t go out exploring or if there hasn’t been a battle or something to get rid of his excess energy. But he drops by often enough to still be a frequent face. 

He loves company

Even if it means he needs to slow down, he’ll most often prefer having company than not. There is always time to squeeze in a run here and there, so he’ll never pass on a chance to hang out if someone is free.

It’s not like he’s clingly, he knows better than anyone that people have their own things to do. He’s perfectly fine being on his own for months on end, and there is usually enough things to distract him during that time. It’s just that if schedules happen to line up he’s definitely going to make the most of it.

If he ever does feel lonely

While rare, he’s first instinct is to go running and looking for a distraction. Because again, he knows people have their own things to do and he doesn’t want to be a bother of all things. 

If that doesn’t work, he can usually wander by Tails’s workshop and settle in at a corner under the excuse of wanting a nap without worrying about the weather outside. He won’t bother his buddy, but the sounds of Tails tinkering helps ease the ache in his chest. 

His impatience doesn’t come from moving slowly, it comes from not doing what needs to get done.

As stated above, he doesn’t mind slowing down his pace for other people. However, if there is something that needs to get done, whether urgent or not, he wants to get on with it so it’s complete. 

He doesn’t like leaving tasks left unfinished because all it does is drag in the back of his mind. He rather be able to go out and have fun without worrying about something else. 

If there is something that forces him to move slowly (so he isn’t slowing down by choice) then he does get very impatient very quickly. 

He enjoys using corny jokes and inserting random humour whenever he can.

He’s perfectly aware that a lot of his jokes are cheesy, but having people groan in exasperation is just as good as having people laugh in response so! 

Really no matter what you do you’ll end up encouraging him. 

He’s no genius, he’ll leave that to Tails, but he does end up well enough read.

Though he does gravitate to adventure-type stories, he does like learning about the world and enjoys fun facts. 

Often times though, if he falls asleep in the middle of reading a book he doesn’t bother to pick that book up again when he wakes, unless there was something really interesting about it. Even if the book wasn’t boring and he fell asleep due to going for days without rest, he just figures the time to read the book has passed and moves on to the next. 

He loves nature

It’s part of why he likes to travel so much. There is always a new sight to see, and nature just never disappoints! 

He likes finding all the places where nature is allowed to develop naturally without interference of settlements. When he does come across such a place, he does his best to not disrupt anything there. Which also means he doesn’t move too quickly just so he can be sure his speed doesn’t destroy anything. 

He really enjoys naps!

He likes laying down on the grass and feeling the sun shine down on him most, but that comes with the risk of getting caught in the rain so he tries to do it only when there is little chance of rainfall. Otherwise he’ll find little nooks and crannies to settle down in to sleep. 

He can’t swim, and he has mild aquaphobia.

He doesn’t mind being around water, like having fun at the beach is okay, but he absolutely hates being submerged in it. (waking up to a sudden downpour when he naps outside also gives him a scare, which is why he is careful before he falls asleep in the open) 

If given enough warning, and for good enough reason, he will do his best to hold back his fear to get whatever business done, but you can bet that he’ll be having phantom shivers for a long time after. 

He can’t hold his breath underwater for very long, not because he doesn’t have the lung capacity, but because he quickly gets so anxious that he just can’t hold it. 

After being submerged in water (whether willingly or unwillingly) Sonic prefers being surrounded by something solid. It could be anything, even a big hug is very much welcomed, but more often than not he’ll find a hole at the side of a mountain and huddle himself in it. He already has a few go to places scattered around, because unfortunately he’s had plenty of experiences being submerged in water. 

It doesn’t get any easier even after all this time.

He knows that he’s considered a hero by the mass majority, and he’s come to accept it.

A Hero was something he never wanted to be, though. He just wanted to save the distressed animals at first, and found himself speeding into something he can’t just back out of now.

Not that he would want to back out, per say. He’s incapable of not stepping in if he knows that he can do something to help. And he rather be the person to stop something bad from happening than to just leave it to someone else. 

But because he has saved the world multiple times by now, and became (in)famous, he knows that “Hero” is a title he can’t run from anymore. No matter what he says or what he wants, people will call him as such, and with that comes all the responsibility and expectations that he never asked for. He’s more conscious of that than he’d like to admit.

He doesn't really mind it for the most part, though. More often than not it falls in line with what he wants anyways — to stop Eggman. And if people end up shocked because he doesn’t act the way they thought he would, well, that’s on them and with no consequence to him. 

He doesn’t let that title dictate his actions, either. He’ll always do what he thinks is right first and foremost. Even if the world says one way is correct, if he believes otherwise he’s doing it his way. He’s not looking for random strangers approval, nor does he particularly want it. 

But, because of the title of ‘Hero’ he knows that there are some assumptions made about him. He is acutely aware that a lot of people hold him to high regard, and look up to him. And as much as he likes to think that the title of ‘Hero’ doesn’t affect him, it did change him in some ways. 

It’s mostly after being called a Hero that Sonic started putting up a front

It wasn’t a conscious decision or anything, but with so many people, children especially, looking up to him with shining eyes — he found that he wants to be someone they can rely on when they are in danger. Because he’s a caring guy, and small animals and children stir up a protective side of him. 

Besides, he figured that he’ll always do what he can to stop Eggman as long as the madman was trying to take over the world, so what’s the harm in letting kids think of him as this big Hero and thus feeling safe with him around?

With that it was all too easy to slip into the persona that the public already created for him.

After all, that persona didn’t come out from nowhere. It was basically just an exaggeration of his already there carefree personality. 

He’s generally good at understanding people, and he’ll use that to adapt himself into someone who is comforting for whoever needs it at the time. He genuinely likes being able to help people. And that’s why he’ll play into the whole Hero shtick to the extent he does. 

He’d grin widely when he’s around the public, and play off any injury that he suffered. He’d pretend that he wasn’t exhausted after a grueling battle, and that nothing bothered him. 

He doesn’t mind ‘breaking character’ if the public gets too much — again, he won’t sacrifice his principles just to live up to other people’s expectations. He’ll do what he believes to be right in the end, but the ‘cool guy who is unbothered by anything’ persona just became so incredibly easy to play. 

It’s become a part of who he is, now. That facet of his personality is what he shows the most readily, hiding anything else behind it. He’s always been fond of inserting humour whenever he could to lighten up a situation and cheer someone up, but now he does it to distract people from noticing that anything is wrong. It’s become an unhealthy coping mechanism, but Sonic isn’t about to tell anyone that.

He’d gladly accept any physical help (like in battle), but emotional help is harder for him to welcome.

Again, it comes with the Hero persona he fell into. He’s gotten so used to pretending that nothing is wrong that he sometimes believes it himself that all is fine. 

It’s been okay for the most part so far, (as ‘okay’ as emotional suppression can be). He got buy on being able to rewind after any big battle, being surrounded by his friends, and being able to have fun on his own terms. 

However, with being captured for six months (Sonic Forces) and knowing deep down that the metal virus outbreak was his fault (IDW comics), it’s a lot harder for Sonic to trick himself into thinking everything is okay.

He’ll still do what he can to fool other people, though.

But, all that said and done, it isn’t like it’s ALL an act. 

Down to the core, Sonic is still that fun loving guy. If you were to pull a Shadow and ask Sonic what he is now, he would still answer the same. That he’s ‘just a guy who loves adventure.’ Because it’s still true. He’s very good at living in the moment and making the most out of any situation. And at the end of the day, Sonic just does what he believes in and he has fun along the way. 

[dogtrainingofficial]

10 Reasons Why Your Dog Ignores Your Commands

Is your dog giving you deaf ears? When this happens, avoid repeating the command over and over and imposing yourself until you get a response; instead, take a step back and consider the following scenarios which are some of the most common issues encountered when training dogs.

1) Low Value Treats: Are Your Treats Worth Working For?

It’s a romantic and hard to debunk myth that dogs work for us just to please us. In reality, as opportunistic beings, dogs are most likely thinking “what’s in it for me?” according to the Association of Pet Dog Trainers (APDT). The right use of treats can really make the difference between a dog who is eager to work and one who couldn’t care less. The use of low-value treats (such as kibble) can be detrimental if your dog isn’t excited by them, especially during the initial stages of learning or when there are distractions around, so make sure your treats are worthy of attention.

Also remember to stick to treats which are soft, smelly, and in small bite-sized pieces. This allows your dog to quickly gobble up the reward and focus his attention back on you, rather than being distracted by a longer-lasting treat.

A suggestion? Try to use what respected veterinarian, trainer and writer Dr. Ian Dunbar calls the Ferrari of dog treats: Freeze-dried liver.

2) Low Rate of Reinforcement: Are You Missing Out on Rewarding?

In the initial stages of learning or when there are lots of distractions around, your dog may find sniffing the grass, looking around, marking territory and pulling on the leash more rewarding than training. Why is that? It’s probably because there are stimuli that are extra interesting and are worth paying more attention to. If your dog has received little training in the past, he may have been doing this for a good part of his life. Increasing the rate of reinforcement during this time by giving your dog more treats for his training efforts may help to motivate him, and will teach him to pay more attention to you than to the distracting environmental stimuli.

A low rate of reinforcement can also cause your dog to get frustrated and give up trying; remember, during the initial stages of learning you need a continuous rate of reinforcement (giving rewards for every success), and only once your dog shows signs of responding well can you move on to a variable schedule (only giving treats for success every now and then).

3) High Criteria: Are You Asking Too Much at Once?

This is where the saying “be a splitter and not a lumper” comes into play. It is often tempting to try to teach new behaviors all at once in a single evening. When your dog stops working for you, you start thinking: “Am I asking for too much at once?” Truth is, often when dogs fail to respond to a command it is because it is too hard for them. So try not to ramp up the difficulty too quickly; rather, break the objective down into several attainable steps to help your dog succeed. As an example, if you were trying to train your dog to touch the tip of a target stick with his nose, you could reward him for touching ANY part of the stick at first. Over time once your dog gets a hang of this, you could then move on to rewarding him only for touching the rounded tip at the top of the stick.

Try your best to prevent your dog’s progress from stalling, and do not make your training sessions too long – keep them short and sweet!

4) High Level of Distractions: Is there too Much Going on?

Dogs learn best when there are little to no distractions around, so be sure to start your training sessions in a quiet room where there is not much going on.

Once your dog is able to perform the behavior in the quiet room, build from there and gradually start asking your dog to perform the behavior in a noisier room. Then, progress to the yard, a busy street, the dog park and so forth.

If you start on a busy street or at the dog park right away, your dog may not respond because you have not yet built a foundation for the behavior.

5) Lack of Training: Has Your Dog Ever Been Trained Before?

If the handler has a history of being inconsistent and not following through with the dog, there’s a chance the dog may have learned he could get away from certain behaviors and has learned to ignore the handler. Dogs who have never been trained and have been allowed to do as they please for a good part of their lives often find the initial stages of learning difficult, since the concept is entirely new to them. It is up to the handler to become interesting and worth listening to by investing in reward-based training methods, like the ones taught in Adrienne Farricelli’s Brain Training for Dogs course.

6) Unclear Cues: Are You Confusing Your Dog?

Dogs thrive on consistency, so make sure you always use the same command cue and that all other people training the dog are on the same page. If you ask for a command and your dog just stares at you, consider if that command has a history of being used consistently.

In classes, it is not uncommon to encounter a family where the wife uses “come” to call the dog, the husband uses the dog’s name, and the kids just say “here!” Don’t ask for behaviors in multiple ways, and make sure your body language is congruent with the verbal command. Dogs find body language more salient then verbal cues.

Also, try your best not to repeat commands over and over, otherwise your dog will learn not to listen to the first time you say it, but will wait for you to finish your sentence instead!

7) Frustration Buildup: Are you Getting Frustrated?

Dogs are masters in body language and they can easily detect frustration. When the handler’s frustration builds up, dogs often shut down instead of becoming more compliant. In this case, it helps to ask the dog for a behavior he knows well (such as a sit) followed by a reward to end the session on a positive note. You can try the exercise again a little bit later, possibly further splitting the exercise into smaller sections if it was too hard for your dog.

Also, keep in mind that if you start raising your voice, bending down or getting into your dog’s face, you are intimidating him dog and he will feel the need to send you appeasement signals and default behaviors, rather than listening to your commands.

8) Emotional Problems: Are Emotions Getting in the Way?

If a dog is fearful, anxious or nervous, his emotional state may interfere with training. This is because the dog is often in a fight or flight state which affects his cognitive function, impairing his ability to learn. In such a case, you may need to work in areas where your dog is less likely to be frightened and then gradually introduce more and more stimuli in a way which does not cause him to react.

As an example, if your dog was frightened of thunder, instead of immediately exposing him to recordings of thunderstorms on full volume, you should first play them at a very low volume, where he acknowledges the sound but does not become scared. After rewarding your dog while the sound is played, you would, over time and numerous training sessions, increase the volume at which you play the recording. This process is known as desensitization and is a common technique used in dog training.

9) Health Considerations: Is Your Dog in Pain or Uncomfortable?

If your dog ignores you, he may be feeling unwell or uncomfortable. If your dog has always been obedient and is now slacking off, it is best to have your veterinarian rule out any medical problems. Sloppy sits or a reluctance to lay down may be indicative of orthopedic problems.

Aside from medical problems, some dogs may not like to be trained on certain surfaces, or perhaps the weather is too hot, too windy or too cold – there are a multitude of possibilities. Often, a distracted dog may simply need to relieve himself or get a drink of water. Consider how well you could perform in an exam if you were busting to use the bathroom!

10) Are You Forgetting to Brain Train Your Dog?

Many owners are not aware of this, but when it comes to dogs, idle minds are the devil’s workshop. Yet many owners are happy to leave their dogs bored by the fireplace all day, leading to untold behavior problems. The simple secret to a well-trained dog is engaging their mind and getting them thinking.

In the wild, before domestication, dogs would spend much of their lives performing tasks necessary for survival. Even in more modern history, dogs had special roles to perform in their relationships with humans. You can still see these natural drives in dogs today! For example, you will notice how beagles love to follow scents, how some terrier breeds love to dig, and how treeing coonhounds bark upon noticing prey up a tree. Unlike humans who perhaps dread the 9 to 5 grind, dogs actively WANT to work, and when they do not, they become prone to behavior problems, disobedience, and poor psychological well-being. Many owners spend THOUSANDS on dog training when the solution could be as simple as providing Rover with more mental stimulation!

Fortunately, Brain Training for Dogs offers a solution to this problem. Written by professionally certified trainer Adrienne Farricelli CPDT-KA (who’s work has appeared in USA Today, Everydog Magazine, Nest Pets and more), Brain Training for Dogs is one of the first training programs to not only teach obedience, better behavior, important skills and tricks, but to also work on increasing intelligence and engaging the dog’s brain too. Through 21 fun and simple games, the novel and scientifically-proven methods taught by Adrienne are sure to improve the lives of both you and your dog! By the end of Brain Training for Dogs your dog will be able to tidy up his toys, play the piano (yes, really), and identify his toys by name – all while being a better behaved and more obedient dog.

Want to get started with brain training? You can check out my course by clicking here:

>>>Get brain training for dogs today

As seen, there are many reasons why your dog may not be listening to you. Don’t quickly label your dog as stubborn, don’t begin shouting commands like a drill sergeant, and don’t give up training altogether – instead, try to give your dog a break and consider what may really be going on. A better understanding of how dogs learn should pave the path to better training.

Hope this helps!

[lynnkn]

You can plan on me

Hey! Here’s my gift for @pastelle-pvnk for Pynch Secret Santa 2019 hosted by @pynchpromptweek. They wanted to see the boys happy, and in love, so I hope I delivered on that! 

Pairing: Adam Parrish/Ronan Lynch

Words: 2,878

Warnings: One Call Down the Hawk spoiler. It’s a super tiny spoiler, but if you want to go into CDTH knowing absolutely nothing, beware!

Summary: Ronan trusts Adam. He trusts that Adam's recent odd behavior has more to do with Christmas than anything bad. That doesn't mean he isn't curious. 

Read it on AO3!

The sun did nothing to warm the December chill sweeping through Henrietta and particularly the Aglionby parking lot. Ronan cranked up the heat in the BMW and pulled his jacket tighter around himself.

He urged the bell to ring sooner. The students were only moments away from Christmas break. Many of them would return to their families in D.C. or wherever the bourgeoisie gathered. But he was only interested in one particular Raven boy.

Okay, that was probably unfair to Gansey, but he was returning to Alexandria for two weeks of family stuff. Personally, Ronan would rather saw off his left arm and then pay someone to do the right than spend a week with the Gansey cult, but he understood…mostly. 

It was Adam he was waiting for. 

A bell rang throughout the campus, and the lot flooded with rowdy teenage boys, reveling in the first moments of freedom. Ronan slid down in his seat, hoping to avoid eye contact with his former peers. At one point, he probably would’ve sought them out to scare them off with an uncomfortable stare or a violent swing of his fist. But he was trying to fly under the radar as much as possible lately, especially when it came to Aglionby boys. 

He didn’t care what they thought of him, whether they knew he was gay, but Adam still had to talk to these people every day. They were his classmates, and if they knew he was dating Ronan, the next few months would be torture. 

A crowd of boys parted to reveal Henry, Gansey, and Adam, marching toward him. Adam’s hair was wind-swept, and the bags under his eyes were thicker and darker than usual. Gansey did nothing more than wave to him, unsurprisingly supportive of their choice to keep things quiet, as Adam stealthily broke away from the group to slip into the passenger seat. The sun bounced off the thin layer of snow outside and backlit Adam enough to make him look ethereal. He was all harsh angles and worn-out eyes. He’d been so busy over the past few weeks that Ronan had barely seen him, between finals and a few extra shifts he’d picked up at work. Ronan wasn’t ever sure if Adam had been sleeping, let alone when. 

But when the door was shut, and they turned to look at each other, Adam smiled. It was a rare and beautiful thing that smile, and Ronan still didn’t understand what provoked it. 

“Hi,” Adam said when Ronan remained hypnotized by the small sliver of teeth.

“Hi,” he said. 

He allowed himself another moment to stare before he started the car, tearing out of the parking lot. It was probably not as inconspicuous as Adam would have preferred, but he’d been so distracted he’d defaulted to his usual driving habits. 

But Adam didn’t say anything, and Ronan kept driving until they got to the Sheetz just outside of Henrietta. He whipped around the curve and into the lot, nearly taking out a flower bed in the process. And once the car was stopped, he leaned over the center console to kiss Adam. It was their first in nearly a week. 

It was nothing special, except that he was kissing Adam Parrish, which always felt a bit like a dream. Like at any moment, it could all go wrong. But no. They were safe. They were together. They were hungry. 

They got sandwiches, and fries, and mac and cheese bites, and Adam let Ronan pay without saying a word. It was odd but less so than it would have been before. They took their food back to the Barns and spread out across the couch, laying down a layer of napkins and unpacking all of the food in front of them. Opal bounced excited around them as she always did when Adam came over. 

Adam, with a face full of burger and a cautiously raised eyebrow, watched him, making Ronan realize he was staring. It was such a soft gesture he wanted to break something to release the tension. Instead, he leaned forward and stole a fistful of Adam’s fries and stuffed them in his mouth. 

Adam huffed. “Asshole.”

It was so beautiful, he knew it had to be temporary. “When do you have to leave for work?”

Adam took a bite of his sandwich and chewed thoughtfully. “I have the day off.”

Something in Ronan’s chest burst and he took in a breath. “That’s awesome.” He’s caught off-guard by his own enthusiasm, but he’d missed his boyfriend. He’d spent most of the last two months terrified that Adam would wake up from whatever weird fugue state he was in, realize what he was doing, and run. 

“It is,” Adam said with a quiet laugh.

“How’d you fucking swing that?” Ronan said, overcome with suspicion. The warehouse had been busy for the past few weeks, which was why Adam had taken on extra shifts. 

Adam threw a wrapper on the floor, and Opal swooped in, shoving the paper in her mouth. “I made it work.” He flopped casually against Ronan’s side, pressed so close his hair brushed against Ronan’s collarbone. He suppressed a shiver. 

That night, lying in his bed, with Adam asleep beside him, he sent up a silent prayer. “Thank you,” he whispered into the dark and silence. 

And in the kitchen the next morning, when Adam said he had the rest of the week off, he allowed himself to enjoy it instead of asking questions. Adam would tell him if there was something wrong. He was almost sure of it.

Declan and Matthew arrived on the 23rd, and it began to properly feel like Christmas. Their last Christmas had been a disaster, but that probably had to do with their recently buried father and their mother in a magical coma. Declan had been more tolerable than usual during their last few phone calls.

He also didn’t technically know Ronan and Adam were dating. Ronan was sure he had his suspicions, but he’d refused to outright confirm or deny anything. 

Adam didn’t seem to mind playing the role of casual dude friend. He was even good at it, which was both very annoying and very attractive. Ronan made sure to tell him that as they kissed, both of them pressed against the wall of Ronan’s bedroom. 

“It’s cause we were friends first, jackass,” Adam said. 

Ronan was quite sure his feelings for Adam had never been platonic, but he didn’t mention that. “Still,” he said. “They should give you a fucking Oscar for that.” He traced the vein the ran along the side of Adam’s temple with his finger. “I thought the fist bump was particularly sexy.”

“Don’t say that. I fist bump Gansey.”

Ronan went in for another kiss, and Adam gracefully glided the door shut, taking care to avoid slamming it. 

As Ronan got dressed for Mass, he thought about Adam alone at the house and briefly considered staying behind with him. It seemed like a dick-move to leave Adam alone on Christmas Eve, but Matthew had been excited for all three Lynch bothers to attend Christmas Eve Mass together again. Considering Ronan was the one missing the previous year, as he was passed out drunk in the back of the BMW, he felt he owed it to his younger brother. 

He went downstairs to find Opal sitting on the kitchen counter, chewing a can of Coke. Ronan took it from her to pop it open before handing it back. She promptly dumped the soda into the sink beside her and continued to chew on the can. Ronan gave an indignant huff, more for show than anything. 

Footsteps drew his attention to the staircase. Adam stood at the top, hair neatly combed back, and Ronan’s tie hanging loosely around his neck. 

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going with you.”

“You are?”

 “What? You worried I’m going to burn if I walk in the front door?” His face drooped, and he pulled back, suddenly shy. “Is it okay if I come?”

Ronan’s skepticism grew. Adam had never shown any interest in attending service with them. He usually worked on Sundays, and Ronan had assumed that was intentional. He’d always thought Adam’s aversion to the church wasn’t just a product of his work schedule. 

He fought to keep the curious look off his face. “I guess,” he said. His face split into a wicked grin. “But only if you’re willing to take the chance.” 

“Hasn’t happened to you yet,” Adam said. 

“Whatever you say, sinner.” 

Declan thankfully didn’t comment as Adam followed them out to the Volvo. He caught Ronan’s eyes across the top of the vehicle and raised his eyebrow. Ronan made a point of not looking. He’d come out to both Declan and Matthew earlier in the month, as casually and cooly as he could. They took it well. Although Declan took it too far, going into a speech about how proud he was of Ronan for sharing. It had been so disgusting, Ronan had been forced to give him a wet willy to end the torture. 

He didn’t care what Declan thought of him or of Adam for that matter. Still, he wasn’t ready to tell him yet. It felt like the kind of conversation that would end in a fight, and Ronan was trying to keep the peace for Matthew’s sake. 

The four of them piled into the Volvo. Ronan let Matthew have shotgun and slipped into the backseat, across from Adam, who was wringing his hands into an anxious knot. Once Declan started the car and had his eyes locked on the road in front of them, Ronan reached over to place his palm over them. He felt the tension drain from Adam’s muscles. He never thought such pleasures were even an option for someone like him. He was so happy, he didn’t complain about Declan’s speed once. 

“I’ve gotta grab something upstairs, Adam said as he climbed from the car. “I’ll meet you in the sanctuary in a minute.” He vanished upstairs, leaving the Lynch brothers gathered in a small semi-circle in the gravel lot. 

Ronan pushed past his brothers, hoping to avoid any questions. They found their usual seats, and Ronan left a space next to him. Adam slipped into it when he came back downstairs. “What’d you need to get?”

Adam shrugged and turned his attention forward as the service began. He casually stuffed his hands into his pockets. “It’s the time of year for secrets.”

Ronan turned as well, letting his gaze linger. 

After Mass, they returned to the Barns where they dug into some Christmas cookies Declan bought for Matthew on their way into town. Soon Declan and Matthew went to bed, and Opal lept out the door in pursuit of a rabbit she saw run past the window. 

Adam and Ronan settled into the living room and spent some time flipping through various Christmas specials. Adam had seen most of them, to Ronan’s surprise. “This is all we did at school the week before Christmas,” he said. “You haven’t seen all of these?”

“Dad used to tell us stories,” he said. “But with a lot more swords and a lot less holiday spirit.”

“Sure,” Adam said sarcastically. “Did the heroes kill Santa?”

“Only sometimes,” he said. “Sometimes, they slayed snow monsters or demons.” He looked up and caught Adam grinning at him, fighting back laughter. “Don’t stare at me like that, Parrish. I had a perfectly fucking normal childhood.”

“You did?” Adam said through a laugh. “Sure. I believe that.”

“I did. I saw all the Veggie Tales Christmas specials.”

That was apparently too much for Adam, who threw himself backward on the couch, howling and smiling. Ronan couldn’t help but lean forward to kiss him. He took more pride in that damn smile than in any dream he’d ever dreamt. Dreaming was easy. Making Adam Parrish smile was not. 

As their lips touched, something beeped below them. Ronan brushed it off. He had no reason to answer his phone with Declan and Matthew upstairs and Adam right next to him. He considered Gansey or Blue, but they were both with their families, and they knew to leave him a message if he didn’t answer right away. 

Then Adam flinched below him, pulling himself out and stumbling to the kitchen with a mumbled, “I need a drink.”

Ronan followed him, watching as he patted his pockets and shuffled out of the room. 

The kitchen was dark, and Ronan could only barely make out the silhouette standing by the counter. Even if he hadn’t known though, hunched shoulders and wiry arms would have given him away.

“What are you doing?” 

His head snapped up meerkat-like and panicked. Guilt twinged in his gut and approached cautiously. He stepped forward but left a large space between them, trying to leave room for Adam to close the gap, trying to give him the chance to control the situation. 

Even in the dark, he could make out the illuminated glow of a cell phone in his hand. For a moment, Ronan thought Adam had grabbed his phone from the coffee table, but it was easy to tell this was a new phone. There was a default background on the screen, and there wasn’t a single scratch or crack on it. 

“I didn’t steal it,” Adam said, which was stupid because he wasn’t about to fucking accuse him of stealing it. Ronan let him continue talking anyway. “I just thought I might need one when I start school, and I had a little money leftover last month.”

Last month. Had Adam really had a cell phone for a whole month and not brought it up to Ronan at all? 

“It’s prepaid, and I don’t have service in many places, but it’s something.”

“Yeah. It’s something,” Ronan said, tentative and nervous. Were there other secrets? “Why’d you take the whole week off?” he asked before he could reign in his words.

“I wanted to spend time with you. Was that not okay?” Adam said in a tight, panicked voice that made Ronan hate himself. He never wanted Adam to sound like that again. More than that, he never wanted to be the reason Adam sounded like that.

“No,” he interjected quickly. “I have to know, man,” he said panting. He leaned his forehead against Adam’s. “Did you get fired or something?”

 “Don’t call me man while we’re doing this,” Adam said, gesturing to their proximity and the way Ronan’s hand cupped the back of his neck. It was fair, but also a diversion. 

“Adam,” he pleaded. “What’s going on with you?”

“Merry Christmas.” 

Ronan waited for a punch line or further elaboration, but Adam remained locked in position, eyes forward and posture straight. When Ronan continued to stare, confused and sleepy, Adam rolled his eyes and pulled the phone back out. He swiped away a text from Gansey to show Ronan a calendar. It was color-coded and meticulously labeled. His work schedule was marked with green, and classes and homework were blue. Unlabeled red boxes covered the screen. Everything was perfectly mapped out until mid-February. 

“I don’t have money, and even if I did…” Adam paused, sucking in a nervous breath. “You can make anything you want, so I had to find something you couldn’t create yourself.” He took Ronan’s hand in his, pressing his thumb to Ronan’s palm. “I realized the best thing I could give you was my time. I’m ready to do this. I’m not half-assing this.”

This was the Adam Parrish Ronan knew, full of ambition and pride. A chip on his shoulder and a fire in his belly. God, Ronan missed him, and he hadn’t even left yet. 

“You’ve never half-assed anything in your life.”

“When I leave, I’m coming back. When I’m at school or work, just wait until I’m done cause I promise I’ll be back.” He held the phone up again, gesturing to the red boxes on the calendar. “These are yours. And all this empty space is yours too, if you need it.”

Ronan pulled him forward, hands grasping the collar of his shirt and kissed him again, pausing to remember what it felt like when Adam Parrish’s lips pressed against his. Adam was going to leave, and it was going to hurt, but sometimes after a drought, came a flood and Ronan was comfortable waiting. 

The light flicked on over them, startling them both back against the counter. Declan stood in the doorway, with a tired expression and a deep sigh. “Saw that coming,” he said, flicking the light back off. “Merry Christmas, Ronan,” he called over his shoulder. 

“Merry Christmas, asshole,” Ronan yelled back, wiping his lips on his shirt sleeve. 

Declan stuck his head back into the kitchen. “Merry Christmas, Parrish,” he said. “Welcome to the family.” 

Ronan worried that would be enough to scare Adam off, but instead, he let out an anxious laugh. “Merry Christmas, Declan.”

In the morning, they’d open presents, and Adam would get to see the watch Ronan had dreamt for him. Because they’d always have time for one another. Because no matter what, they’d make it work. This was going to work, goddamnit. 

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E2; Chapter Two, The Weirdo On Maple Street - [Pt. 2]

A Will Byers x Gender Neutral!Reader Series

𝘠/𝘯, 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴, 𝘋𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘔𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯.

||𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

Lucas, Dustin and I take our seats once we get to class.

"Oh, that can't be good." I sigh, gesturing to Mike's empty seat.

"Yeah, he's never this late," Dustin added.

"I'm telling you, his stupid plan failed," Lucas stated.

"I thought you liked his plan?"

"Yeah, but obviously it's stupid, or he'd be here."

"If his mom found out a girl spent the night—" Dustin began.

"He's in deep shit right about now."

Dustin shifted in his seat, and leaned forward, whispering loud enough for us to hear. "Hey, what if she slept naked?"

"Ugh!" My face screws into a sour, disgusted look aimed at my brother, unintentionally speaking at the same time as Lucas. "Why would she do that, Dustin?"

"Oh, my God, she didn't."

"Oh, if Mrs. Wheeler tells our parents..."

The thought of Mom finding out was enough to elicit an anxious groan from me, and I let my forehead fall against desk where I buried my face.

"No way. Mike would never rat us out."

I hesitantly looked up, making eye contact with Lucas. He gave me a reassuring smile, knowing I worry easily.

"I don't know." Dustin said warily.

"All that matters is, after school, the freak will be back in the loony bin, and we can focus on what really matters, finding Will." I frown at his specific choice of words for El, thinking back on how scared she seemed last night. I desperately want to say something, but decided against it, not wanting to get in a fight. Fighting won't get us any closer to finding Will.

||𝟑𝐑𝐃 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

Mike Wheeler rides his bike down the small slope of grass towards his front yard. When El refused to let Mike's mom know she was there, Mike had no choice but to resort to plan b. He had led his mom to believe that he had ridden to school when in reality he had stopped around the corner until both his parents were gone.

When he got to the driveway, he dismounted his bike and led it into the garage, however something caught his eye. He stared in awe as the once withered and frankly the most miserable looking plant he had ever seen in his life, was now a beautiful lush green and stood as tall his knees. 'How had Y/n done it?'

It took a solid moment for Mike to gather his thoughts and focus on the task at hand. He parked his bike and made his way inside.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"You want anything to drink?" Mike decided to take advantage of the empty house so that he could show El around. "We have OJ, skim milk... What else? Um, we have..."

Mike trailed off when he saw that El was more fascinated with the things in his living room, mostly his TV set.

"Oh, this is my living room. It's mostly just for watching TV."

El lightly traced her fingers around the frame of the TV as she examined it.

"Nice, right? It's a 22-inch.

That's, like, ten times bigger than Dustin's."

El turned her head and said quietly.

"Y/n."

"Well, yeah of course. Y/n too."

"Dustin. Brother?" She asked, making sure she remembered correctly.

"Yeah!" Mike smiled, then lightly shrugged. "Well, technically Y/n's adopted. But yeah, they're still siblings."

El's brows furrowed in confusion.

"Ad-adopted?"

"Yeah, um, it means that they came from different parents. Mrs. Henderson adopted them because their parents were unable to take care of them. It's funny actually, Y/n is from Hawkins. Or at least that's where they were found. The Hendersons didn't used to live in Hawkins; I don't know much about it cause Dustin was so young he doesn't remember any of it, but I think him and his mom were visiting family here and they just... found Y/n, I think? I'm pretty sure that's why they moved here, or something."

El seemed to understand as she thought about it. She then turned to look at the all the pictures on top of the fireplace. She slowly walks to the fireplace and steps up onto the brick platform. She gazes at all the family photos. Particularly, the photo beside the one of Mike; of a smiling girl, a little older than herself, with long brown hair and a pink sweater.

She smiles longingly and speaks in a soft voice. "Pretty."

"I guess." Mike's face is contorted in confusion and a little in disgust.

"That's my sister Nancy. And that's baby Holly." He said as she moved to the slightly larger photo of a young baby. She then moved along to a photo with Mike, Nancy, and Holly, along with two other people she didn't recognize.

"And those are my parents. What are your parents like?" As usual, El says nothing and she steps down from the fireplace and walks up to a large green chair.

"Do they live close?" Mike continued. He notices El run her hand along the top of the plush green chair. "That's our La-Z-Boy. It's where my dad sleeps. You can try it if you want." He offers. El looked up at him, intrigued. "Yeah." He assured her, with a warm smile on his face. She cautiously sits down as Mike kneels down beside the chair. "It's fun!"

She looked to Mike, wondering what he is up to.

"Just trust me, okay?" She gives a quick nod, and braces herself, not knowing what to expect. She is taken aback by the sudden collapse of the chair, she is now laying down and the chair is rocking back and forth. She lets out a gasp, and then a nervous chuckle.

"See? Fun, right?"

With one hand on the back of the chair, and the other on the front, he brings the recliner back into its default position. "Now you try."

With a small smile on her face, and feeling more confident she leans over the side and pulls the handle, letting her entire body go flying backward into a slow rock. Mike and El both look at each other and laugh gleefully.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

The random rock song on the radio that Jonathan barely recognized came to an end as Jonathan Byers drove to his dad's house. His eyes darted to the radio unit in his car for a moment as his heart fell when the familiar sound of "Should I Stay or Should I Go" rang throughout the car.

- 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

"Darlin', you got to let me know"

Jonathan is sat on the edge of the bed next to his younger brother Will. The two of them are in Will's room, bobbing their heads along to 'Should I Stay or Should I Go' by The Clash.

"Should I stay or should I go?"

"You like it?" Jonathan had to raise his voice so he could be heard over the loud song. Will looks to his older brother and grins.

"Yeah, it's cool!"

"All right, you can keep the mix if you want."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. All the best stuff's on there. Joy Division, Bowie, Television, The Smith's... It'll totally change your life."

"Yeah, totally," Will says with a smile. However, the smile is quick to leave when the two boys hear their mother yelling on the phone.

"Where the hell are you, Lonnie?"

Will slowly turns his head to the door, listening to his mother yell at his absent father.

"I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it." Jonathan mimics his brother's actions and looks to the door. Finally, he gets up and walks towards the door.

"This is ridiculous! I'm so sick of your excuses."

"One day is fine and next is black"

Before Jonathan sits down, he lowers the volume on the stereo.

"He's not coming, is he?"

"Do you even like baseball?" Jonathan asks softly.

"No, but... I don't know." He shrugs sadly. "It's fun to go with him sometimes."

"Come on. Has he ever done anything with you that you actually like? You know, like the arcade or something?"

Will shrugs his shoulders weakly. "I don't know."

"No, all right? He hasn't. He's trying to force you to like normal things. And you shouldn't like things because people tell you you're supposed to. Okay?"

Will only looks down at his feet sadly.

"Especially not him."

Will silently nods his head in understanding.

Jonathan decided to change the subject.

"But you like The Clash? For real?"

Will nods his head eagerly with a smile. "For real. Definitely."

"So... is Y/n a fan of The Clash?" Jonathan asks, genuinely curious.

A faint blush dusts Will's cheeks as he looks down at his hands. "Um, yeah, I think so."

"Maybe you should show this to them. I bet they'll like it."

"Maybe. You think?"

"Yeah, from what I know, they have great taste. They're pretty cool."

A loving smile spreads across Will's face. "Yeah, they are pretty cool."

There's a small pause filled only with the now dulled melody of drums and guitar drifting through the air. They had talked about it before, but only vaguely, never fully addressing it and it dawned on Jonathan that there was probably still loads of fear for Will because of it. He looks down at his brother who he loved more than anything and sent him an encouraging, honest smile.

"Will, you guys are best friends. You two are just too close to ruin the friendship. Why don't you think about asking them to the arcade or something? Just the two of you. Maybe come back here for some Mac and Cheese or something if that'd make you feel safer, and you could," he shrugs. "let them know how you feel?"

Will looked up at his brother, shocked. But his body was flushed with relief, he could feel the air in the room hitting his sweaty and clammey skin giving him chills. Not quite knowing how to handle his brothers reaction, his eyes simply fall to his hands where they fidgeting in his lap.

"But what if that does ruin the friendship? What if they don't feel the same way, and they decide to stop hanging out with me? Or if someone finds out- I just- I just can't. I'm not ready."

"That's okay. All I'm saying is, they're way too nice to be the kind of person who would do that. And you are way too important to them. And hey, if you ever do feel ready, or you guys do go out in the future..." Jonathan trails off, sensing the awkwardness creep up. He chuckles and looks back to his brother.

"All I'm trying to say is, I'm here for you. Always."

Will smiles gratefully and Jonathan leans forward to the volume back up.

"Should I stay or should I go? So you gotta let me know, should I stay or should I go?"

- 𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

[unexceptional-broken]

@toscrve​ asked :  what was her reaction to finding out that her brother was alive?

               OUT. || Of course, this answer totally depends on when Becky shows up in the future, which is not something that is set in stone entirely. My DEFAULT is that she shows up around OCTOBER of 2011, a few months after the events of The Avengers, and just a handful of months after Steve comes out of the ice. His energy signature acts as a kind of beacon which pulls her out of the quantum realm, settling her into this time. That gives her about TWO YEARS before the events of The Winter Soldier and the knowledge that her brother is alive, albeit horrifically traumatized. 

In the case of this timeline, Becky has had some time to adjust, to physically recover as much as she will from traveling unprotected through the quantum realm, and settling back into a strange and fantastic time. In that case, she.... takes it as well as she can. She shuts down when she FIRST hears it, and sort of slides back to her initial reaction to hearing Steve was alive: she doesn’t believe it and is convinced that anyone trying to make her believe it is trying to hurt her. When she’s able to pull down that defense mechanism/trauma response, she is anxious to see Jimmy again, but also scared shitless. 

Remember: Becky has always convinced herself that her brother was so much MORE than she is. She’s terrified of a rejection from him, especially since he’s been through so much. Her own emotional and mental state can’t really handle that, and that is a big reason I establish that she isn’t a part of the active search party for Jimmy. She gets regular updates from Steve, but she is not actively out and looking for him. She’s too afraid and, frankly, a little bit too broken to do it. 

When she actually sees him again, it messes her up. When she sees him again and he knows who he is, it’s an incredibly intense moment.