#no matter what. with consistency you will improve
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I’m also a writer, of both fanfics and works I hope to publish someday, and I was wondering if I could ask your advice. I have a number of larger projects that I want to undertake, but thinking about how long it’s going to take to finish them makes me anxious and then I won’t even start. You’re an incredible writer and you have so many finished works; how do you do it? What would you recommend for someone who feels incredibly daunted by the lengthy and disheartening process that is writing a novel or series?
Also thank you for your Accidental Warlord series; it brings me inexpressible joy every time I read it
Oooh okay this is a complicated one. Let's see.
First off, and this is hard: don't compare your output to other authors. I have what my friends affectionately refer to as Wordy Bitch Disease. I write a lot, I write fast, and I write clean enough copy that Rose isn't doing copyedits, she's doing plot and characterization fixes. I start a new WIP...pretty near daily some weeks, and they do not all get done. My WIPs list is frankly fucking terrifying. But it's important to note that I have been writing pretty consistently for twenty years at least, and I was not as fast, coherent, or skilled when I started. For that matter, when I'm tired or stressed or just feeling blah, sometimes the words don't come, and it's important not to beat yourself up about it when that happens.
Second bit of advice: start smaller. I really, really like flash fic challenges and themed prompt lists and tumblr ask memes, because they make me limit my story to what can be told in a few thousand words. That lets me improve my craft without getting bogged down in enormous plotlines. (Yes, sometimes the story still grows a plot. But it's less frequent.)
Third bit of advice: take little bites, and accept that it's going to take a long time and possibly several drafts. When I started MBTT, I genuinely thought it would be 50K. (I am bad at estimating finished lengths of stories.) But I still took it one chapter at a time, and tried to have each chapter be a coherent whole, a chunk of story that needed to be told. When I'm working on the AWAU, if I think about the whole overarching storyline too much, I get overwhelmed and have to go stick my head under a proverbial rock for a while. But one story is doable, most of the time. I've had to restart drafts for some stories two, three, four times to get the voice and style and plot to cooperate. Be willing to say, That's not working, and try something else, even if you're really fond of what you've written so far.
Fourth bit of advice: learn what style of planning works for you. Some people like to outline in great detail. Some people like a sketchy outline. Some people, like me, can't outline - it kills the story for me. The WIP I started this morning has a notes section for important characterization details and the single plot point "Bandits?" Anything more than that, and I won't write it, because in some sense I've already written it so why bother doing it again?
Fifth and final bit of advice, because this is getting long: if you can find a cheer-reader, cherish them. Having someone in the doc leaving comments or emoticons helps immensely with knowing how my readers will react and with keeping my own enthusiasm for a story stoked high, which vastly increases the likelihood of it getting finished.
Good luck! Be brave! Thank you for the compliments!
I hope to read your stories someday!
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well, let's say someone responds to you so consistently in such an annoying way that you start hesitating to post anything at all, because every time you draft a post, you imagine the exact very annoying argument they're going to start over it, and you find yourself engaging less and less with the fandom - if you just go along with that impulse, i think, you're letting that person control your own role in the discourse (whether or not you think they're actually trying to; it doesn't really matter if it's intentional or not here), and that's not good. i think the whole community is worse if people end up pulling away for that kind of reason. so i think that in those situations it's much better to block.
(one example of this sort of thing, fwiw, is the situation that prevailed in ofmd fandom with the canyon in, say, much of 2023 before s2 dropped; there was a good while where if you posted anything about izzy that wasn't fully canyon-compliant several canyon accounts would reliably descend upon you and argue so aggressively that most people outside the canyon just avoided ever mentioning izzy at all. i thought that was a bad situation, and that's the reason i ever started posting meta - i didn't want them controlling the conversation, so i started blocking the canyon and i resolved that if i had something to say about izzy i would say it, and people immediately started dming me to say how relieved they felt to see someone say what they'd been thinking. and the fandom only became a place where it was possible to talk about izzy after we all started blocking them. i think it was a big improvement when we did that, because he's an interesting character who can be fun to talk about!)
as far as vaguing and accusations go, like, ok, yes i'm thinking of a couple of specific people here, and i'm sure it's possible to figure out who they are. (the people in question have been 100% certain i was vaguing them before when i absolutely wasn't at all, so i'll be surprised if they can't figure out when it actually is happening!) so in that sense i'm not going to claim that it's not a vague, and if people don't like vaguing they can be mad at me if they want. but also vaguing specific people is not really the point here. i don't want to say who i'm talking about here because then the focus would be on whom i'm accusing and whether the accusation is justified, but i actually mean this as advice. i think you should follow this advice whether or not the people you need to block are the same people i would block. if anyone reading this finds that the person who makes you reluctant to post is me, then i think you should block me, and no hard feelings!
fox guide to dealing with people who keep trying to control the fandom discourse & silence any opinion that disagrees with them:
say whatever you want
when they complain block/mute them
say it again
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The more drawing tutorials I watch the more I understand there's not actually any 'proper' way to draw things, it's literally just 'find something you want to draw, draw it, and then draw it 12,000 more times'
and thats it
#you watch 15 different tutorials and end up with 73 different ways that are ''correct''#there's always basics and things that can be helpful to learn#but you can pick one thing or one art style to learn and if you practice it over and over and over again#you're going to improve#no matter what. with consistency you will improve#thats it#theres no special way or specific things you have to do beyond that#be consistent do it 1000 times and then do it 2000 more#many more thoughts but i dont feel like typing it all out rn so#yeah
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maybe i just don’t follow enough about the fanfiction community anymore but… i feel like plot and story, and actually making scenes make sense and have structure and purpose, is harder to get write than even other things about writing that i consider hard—like having consistent, relevant pacing and creating natural-sounding, in-character dialogue.
and from what i’ve seen, it’s like no one ever talks about improving this major overarching skill, when compared to how much as they talk about minute and minor details to improve with your writing, like the vocab you use.
and maybe fanfiction is uniquely challenged here because the point of it (if the source material is decent, anyways) is supposed to be that it’s not necessary, and is often without a serious purpose and written without structure.
my interpretation of it is that the core of writing (which is giving your readers a reason to read) is assumed to be already accomplished when you write fanfiction—because it’s fanfiction—but this is often to the detriment of the writing, no matter if it’s fanfiction or not, because writing needs that purpose to exist.
#i’m sorry because this sounds really cringey because i’m barely doing anything with this anyways it’s literally a small jokepost of a fic#but literally every time i write one word of fic i start thinking about The Process Of Writing and i think too much about it for my own goo#so don’t take this as complaining i’m just thinking out loud#but this is my greatest challenge and i think it—along with pacing wnd character voice—is actually what really separates fic from source#because when i write fic i typically have copies of the books pulled up in another window and i go back and forth#to create some kind of consistency by referencing (like you might when drawing)#but the one thing i can never get right (or it takes me many edits) is actually making the scene feel like it is necessary#and worthy of the reader’s time and attention#like i don’t think my actual writing is bad but i just feel like everything goes on for too long and simultaneously goes nowhere#and that’s such a big issue that can’t be fixed by editing sentence structure or switching out words.#it’s the structure of a work which is really challenging and important to get right and yet i see little advice and motivation around it#as opposed to like ‘50 different words to use instead of these same boring words’#dude no one cares if you said ‘said’ a bunch. what matters is where is this going anyways#i know the way to improve is to read but i am just talking inbetween making this really small thing#so again. dont take me talking a lot here as me freaking out. i just have thoughts about this but nowhere to put them#like it’s funny to me because i write something and the dialogue makes sense but the whole thing feels Boneless LOL#i need to like look up scene structure and apply it to some examples#the elbow-high diaries
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(lol i'm like. lowkey devastated abt the prospect of tumblr rotting around us even as i've seen some good sensible don't-panic posts abt it so obviously the thing 2 do is 2 make a same old same old post abt gender shit)
thinking like. i'm not currently in a position either soc anx-wise or insurance-wise to access top surgery but like. all certainties abt my Essential Gender Nature aside, have i worn any outfits in the past, like, 5-8 years that wouldn't have been improved in my own eyes by titlessness… don't think so…
#like i so often feel like 'i gotta work out what i Really Am'#and like. probably what i Really Am is like. poised on the intersection of bpq tomboy and sensitive poetfag#but also like. regardless of which direction i wobble on any given day i'd probably feel better abt my appearance if i had a flat chest#mind you i'm certain i underestimate how much less kind people would be to me if i had one! but. in terms of my own personal happiness—#i think the needle has been pointing in a consistent direction for a long time really#but like. i'm so far from being able to do anything that it's easier not to be actively aware of it#so probably i'm gonna stick my head right back in the sand about it but. for the record or whatever‚ lol#what is gender we just don't know#(but we kinda DO know titlessness would be an aesthetic improvement no matter what…)
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Help my family in Gaza, I'm begging you 💔‼️🙏
✅️Vetted by @gazavetters , my number verified on the list is ( #523)
✅️ Vetted by @90-ghos here





Dear merciful souls before everything I'm now writing to you and my kids are so hungry we don't know what to eat because everything running out and the cross borders were closed for three months so please read my story to the end 🥺🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Hello, I am full of hope and hope that you will read my message with love and that you will enjoy abundant health and well-being.
I come to you with an appeal that is heavy on my heart and that I had never imagined.
I look at you from under the war and the constant bombing of us in all its forms that the human or animal soul cannot comprehend
I am Jehad Kassab , a lawyer and legal consultant from Gaza City - Palestine. I hold a bachelor’s degree in law and many legal experiences. I have been working in the legal profession for a long time and I had a good work , which have become meaningless before this world, to stop the machine of war and destruction that has befallen us ،I had a private law office after the Israeli planes completely destroyed it and everything in it, after I built it with all its beauty after many years of toil, and it is my only source of livelihood.




I have a beautiful family that loves life as you love it and lives it in all its details. My family consists of (my wife, a nurse, and my son Khaled, a year and a half old, who has not seen life in all its details and does not know what it is yet, and my second daughter is now 11 months her age as the age of this bad war.
Our house was completely destroyed at the beginning of the war on Gaza with everything, and we did not even take anything out of it, not even the clothes, in the hope that we would return to it before it was bombed by Israeli warplanes
We were briefly displaced to southern Gaza and stayed in tents until this moment. We lived and are still living the harshest types of genocide in the full sense of the word: displacement, destruction, coming out from under bombardment, pollution, epidemics, and the difficulty of sleeping due to the sound of planes and the bombing that did not leave for a single second. Has the world become desolate or are we not fit to improve? For life or what? We do not know Khaled who started pronouncing the word bombing, and I am afraid.
I am not begging you or listing all the details, because an entire newspaper will not be enough. Television screens and social networking sites are enough to tell you about us, and no matter how much you try to say, what we feel will not reach you because we do not wish anyone to live as we live.
We are victims of conflicts and conflicts. We love life as long as we can. We do not like any form of war. We want a future like the rest of humanity for ourselves and our children.
In this moment of despair, I reach out to you, not just as a stranger, but as a human being, connected by our common humanity and the belief that compassion knows no bounds. Your support, no matter how small, can make an immeasurable difference in the lives of those struggling to find hope amidst the rubble.
We desperately need your support to rebuild my family's life that was destroyed by the war on Gaza and there is literally nothing left ، provide us with a glimmer of hope for a better life after we were fine before October 7th last year. Your support could mean everything to us ، If you are unable to support, please consider sharing our case. Every bit of support helps.
We also evacuated many times and the two baby were sick alot because of the bad environment
and you know there's no hospitals or medicin or even healthy food
and the rest of the.money will be used for the living expenses
We appreciate your help, even if it is just a little
Thank you all
You can share or donate this ‼️🙏🥺
Or here directly
#send help#please help#gaza genocide#free gaza#free palestine#funds#mutual funds#gaza funds#pls help#palestine fundraiser#gaza fundraiser#queer#transgender#transformers
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i have half a week of having the house to myself and i have received a massive confidence boost tonight i will wake up tomorrow and not need to worry about what my mother will hurl at me first thing in the morning what if i can actually be productive what if the combination of these things ends up curing my fucking depression
#if i can keep up being this good at that game consistently i could literally make a career out of it#and honestly if i can then like. i fucking will#like this has come so so so naturally#it wouldn't be a surefire 'this will have me set for life' Obviously i'm well aware of the myriad things that can go wrong with it#but like.........#i don't even know how to describe playing it. it's not the usual fun you'd have playing a game it's more. i don't even know#it's. Instinct#like i jumped in having done the tutorial a year ago and then not having touched the game since#and immediately made top 3 and got 5 kills and only died bc i didn't know water killed you#it feels like i just Know what to do and it works and i'm#what the fuck#i hope i can keep this up consistently i hope this feeling stays the same because playing that game just feels Right#it's natural it's instinctual i don't fucking know#i sound like the most insane person ever rn but like???????#my whole life i've dreamed of maybe being able to make a living by playing games and being good at them#i gave that a shot trying to join overwatch esports a few years ago and Stopped bc it was just so toxic and draining and i wasn't improving#but this. this is different this feels like i'm supposed to be here???#idk. i wanna see where if anywhere i can take this#if i can keep this up consistently then i feel like i could chase it no matter what#i have one friend that i think would understand this feeling and he gets it from his work and he's been chasing it so determinedly i just#i feel like this could be the same for me. and that feels stupid on the one hand because it is a Video Game but like........ idefk#like i feel weird just comparing it bc his work is a serious and honestly awesome career and he's excelled in it#and again this is. a video game.#but. y'know???????
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setting boundaries with yourself ☁️



setting boundaries with yourself is an important aspect of self-care and personal growth. here’s how setting boundaries with yourself looks like:
having a bedtime. having a consistent bedtime is crucial for improved sleep quality which leads to better sleep and more restful nights. this also creates routine and structure which can be comforting and beneficial to managing daily responsibilities more effectively. regular sleep helps maintain energy levels, preventing the afternoon slump and reducing the need for caffeine. so, find a helpful bedtime routine to get settled in and get a good nights sleep around the same time each night.
not believing all thoughts as truth. remember that THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS, so accepting every thought as truth can lead to distorted perceptions which leads to mental fog or an unhealthy mental state. when negative thoughts arise, practice mindfulness by meditating or journaling. question your thoughts by asking yourself “what evidence do I have for this thought?”. identify those thinking patterns and remember that thoughts are like clouds passing through the sky—temporary and ever-changing.
eating foods that make you feel good. junk food may taste sweet and look good but they aren’t healthy for your body in any way. use mindful eating by paying attention to how different foods make you feel & avoid foods those that leave you feeling sluggish or uncomfortable. eating foods that are rich in nutrients like omega-3 fatty acids, vitamins and minerals can improve your mood and mental clarity. this includes, salmon, leafy greens, and berries. healthy snacks such as, fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and popcorn are helpful when facing cravings. remember to plan your meals, stay hydrated, and maintain balance.
doing hard things in the moment to create your desired future. doing hard things in the moment is like planting seeds for your future. tackling challenges head on allows you to develop skills, gain resilience, and learn discipline. it’s like building the foundation for your own dreams and setting your own self up for success. by handling what’s in front of you, you are preparing yourself for bigger opportunities and making the most of them when they come. picture your desired future as a beautiful garden that requires dedication and hard work, but it is necessary for your garden to bloom.
sticking to your word. keeping your word is crucial in building trust and reliability. this makes it easy for people to rely on you but also for you to rely on yourself. you set a standard for yourself which encourages discipline, self control and commitment. having confidence in what you are set out to do helps you to grow as an individual. as the saying goes, “Follow your plan, not your mood.” stay committed to your plans and goals and always give it your best. you only fail if you don’t try, no matter how small or how big the task may be.
setting boundaries with yourself is an act of self respect and is about creating habits that align with your long term wellbeing, even when they feel difficult in the moment. each step builds a stronger and more aligned version of you. keep honoring yourself! ☁️
#it girl#it girl mentality#it girl mindset#it girl moodboard#becoming her#law of attraction#law of manifestation#law of abundance#law of assumption#law of the universe#setting boundaries#girlblogging#girlblogger#wellness queen#holisticwellness#holistichealth#thewizardliz#pink pilates girl#pink pilates princess#pink academia#pilates aesthetic#lana del rey#cinnamon girl#self concept#self improvement#self care#self love#clean girl#moodboard#margecouture
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Undercover
Summary: Natasha and you play a happy couple for an undercover mission.
Natasha Romanoff x F!R
-----
It’s mortifying.
As you lay in bed, looking at the ceiling, the moment replays in your head over and over and over again. How you wish you had an off switch for your brain.
This is supposed to be an undercover mission, and yet you can’t keep your true feelings hidden from Natasha.
Undercover as a married couple, no less.
Today, while you were sitting in the living room of your “newlywed home”, reading a book, Natasha approached you. Her hand rested on your shoulder.
“I’m going out for a run” she had said. You nodded absentmindedly, taking her hand and kissing the back of it.
“I’ll start dinner now”
And it wasn’t until you heard the door shut, that you snapped out of it.
You didn’t have to pretend inside the house. There was absolutely no reason for you to kiss any part of her like that, no one was watching.
Your cheeks flushed and your palms began to sweat. Feeling stupid and exposed, you tried to cook dinner, finding it hard to focus on what to do.
If Natasha noticed the slightly burned meatloaf, she didn’t comment on it. Even as you downed your wine quickly and poured yourself more, she remained stoic and acted as usual.
The night went by in a blurr and now you’re staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. Natasha is in the study, doing surveillance and thank God, because sharing a bed after what you did today?
Impossible.
How do I get myself in these situations?
—
“The Maggia” Fury said, looking around the room. There were only five people there, which told you this was an important mission. “What do you know about it?”
“Family of criminals, from Europe, mostly Italy. Loose alliance at that, each family just stays out of the other’s way” you casually said. Hell, you could go on and on about them for much longer.
“Someone does their homework” Fury nodded.
“Show off” Natasha leaned forward, whispering in your ear. The contact sent a shiver down your spine, but you tried your best to hide it.
You feared your best wasn’t very good.
“Their operations consist mostly of loan sharking, narcotics and prostituion” Maria continued. “But, we recently recieved intel that the family in New Jersey is playing something more dangerous”
“Potentially, HYDRA and the smuggling of Trinium”
“What’s Trinium?” Rogers, who had been following in silenece, finally intervened.
“Incredibly rare element and highly explosive if exposed to a special charge”
Of course, it was always about blowing something up.
“We’ve located the leaders of the Jersey family. You two will be sent immediately to start the undercover mission, as the timeline indicates that the purchase will happen in less than three months. Sorry for not getting you a gift, but your wedding was done in such a rush” Fury slid down the files towards you and Natasha.
You took it and were about to hand it to Steve, since he was sitting behind you, but Fury just chuckled, shaking his head no.
Maria had to bite the inside of her cheek to not laugh at your shocked expression, while you turned to look at Natasha with wide eyes.
“Oh, darling, I’ll make you so very happy!”
—
Just your luck, Natasha decides to stay and work from home on Friday. Your plans of eating junk food and wasting away watching reality tv to feel better after your slip up are down the drain.
Instead, you are out gardening. It’s part of the cover, you insisted since you moved. What kind of person would not make an effort to improve their house? One they were planning on living in for years to come.
And truly, you had outdone yourself. In the month you’d spent here, the grass went from dry to green, all kinds of flowers blooming thanks to your hard work and the knowledge provided by years of helping your mother.
It doesn’t matter if the sun is burning your skin or sweat is dripping down your back, you absolutely cannot spend the morning inside the house with the woman who you have a crush on, and who probably knows your true feelings now, thanks to that stupid, stupid…
“Hey” her voice snaps you back to reality, looking up to meet her green eyes, soft and gentle.
“Hi” you reply from your place in the ground, wiping your forehead. “What’s up?”
“You’ve been at it for hours now, and it’s getting too hot. Come get some rest”
“It’s fine, I just need to…”
She calls your name, more of a plea than a warning not to argue with her and you sigh, standing up. As you go up the porch, she hands over a glass of cold lemonade and you take it, realising that you were very much in need of some refreshments.
“What are you doing?” you mutter when you put the glass down, and she takes her hands in yours.
“You’ve been acting strange since yesterday”
“Natasha”
“Did you act on instinct?” she asks, her lips inches from yours.
“Y-yes”
“That’s what a good agent does. You act natural. It’s not something you put any effort in. You don’t drop the cover under any circumstance”
She is throwing you a life line, a gracious way to salvage some of your dignity -if you have any left, that is- because you both know, you are not that good of an agent.
“She’s walking towards the house” Natasha warns, your back to the street. You don’t look behind you, allowing the redhead to pull you into a heated kiss that steals your breath.
“Hey, neighbors”
You turn around, Natasha’s hand falling to your lower back. Waving at Beatrice Costa, the both of you fake smiles. It’s still hard to believe this regular looking woman is leading a criminal organization next to her husband.
“Your garden is looking spectacular!” she admires.
“Thank you, Beatrice. I’ll stop by to give you some flowers when the hydrengeas bloom”
“As long as your wife doesn’t get jealous” the woman jokes, and you feel Natasha’s hand snaking around your middle, pulling you flush against her front.
“She does” the redhead says in a teasing manner, making your neighbor/suspect laugh.
“Anyways, I came to invite you two over for dinner tomorrow. To thank you for last week”
“Oh, it was no bother, really” you say, smiling.
“I insist. Eight o’clock?”
“Sounds great” you nod, and once she says her goodbyes, Natasha turns you around in her arms, still not letting go of your waist.
“See? It’s working. You’re doing great. Nobody questions us” she eases your nerves over what happened yesterday.
Nobody questions you because you are really in love with her, that’s the truth.
“What are you doing?” you say, your breath hitching when she leans over, about to kiss you.
“She’s still around” Natasha says, letting you close the distance to meet her lips.
By the time she drags you back inside, so you can have lunch, the only thought in your head is the feel of her lips in yours.
—
It had been a simple ruse, so simple that it was a wonder it worked.
Natasha made sure Beatrice’s car would malfunction. She always parked outside, and you made sure to be Natasha’s lookout as she drained the battery.
Morning came, and true to her routine, the woman was ready to leave home when the luxurious Mercedes Benz refused to turn on. It just so happened that you were running by, and as any good neighbor would do, offered to help.
What a coincidence, your wife knew enough about cars to fix the issue and send the woman on her merry way.
Beatrice was too polite and too rich to waste the opportunity to thank you -and flaunt her wealth- so next morning she stopped by with a tiramisu from the most expensive bakery in town, to thank you both.
And fuck, it was good tiramisu.
Now, she would greet you and Natasha when either one of you would run past her house (part of your intelligence operations).
Four weeks after the start of the mission, and it had finally paid off, as you received an invitation into the lion’s den.
“So, what’s our game plan here?” you say, looking over yourself in the vanity mirror.
“Enjoy the evening” Natasha says, smiling at your reflection.
“What?” you turn to look at her, confused. “We’re gonna be inside their house. We could bug it”
“Their phones are tapped. That’s all we need. And the man’s computer. But maybe I’ll excuse myself and break into his study”
“That’s too dangerous” you protest. Even if they act like normal people, they’re life long criminals with an extensive network. And you don’t feel prepared to take over anything if Natasha’s compromised. “Could you not?”
“If you have any idea on how to hack into their financial system, sure”
You huff, annoyed at her bored tone. As if she’s not risking herself over something that can be done a million other ways.
“Nat, I don’t want anything bad happening to you. We’ll find another way, ok?” you insist, putting on your heels.
“Ok, darling” she nods, as a spouse would do to calm their crazy wife and you glare, but take your win.
Without another word, you prepare to leave the room, when you feel her arms around your middle.
“What are you…?”
“Clothing tag was out” she says, fixing your sweater. “There. Perfect”
Her words, accompanied by a squeeze to your stomach make your head fuzzy. Clearing your throat, you nod and go down the stairs, picking up a bottle of wine from the kitchen counter.
“Trust me” you say when Natasha gives you an inquiring look. “Ready to go?”
“After you, sweetheart”
As you walk down the street to the Costa residence, Natasha takes your hand, running her thumb over the back of it. She might sense your nerves, or is apologizing for before. Either way, you keep a light conversation until she knocks on your suspect’s door, her arm firmly around your waist.
“Welcome!” Beatrice says, ushering you into her home. It’s elegant and big, but not too flashy or pretentious. “And what do we have here?”
“Just a little gift. It’s actually one of the bottles we got from our honeymoon” you take the lead, your hand in Natasha’s as you navigate the luxurious home all the way to the dining room.
“Oh, this is close to the place where my family is from originally”
Oh, what a shock. It’s not like you know everything there is about the Maggia, along with the history of the Gulf of Naples.
While Beatrice goes to the kitchen to check on the food -made by their staff, of course- Natasha looks around the room. You know that inquiring look, as she evaluates every threat and possible complication should you be compromised.
To help her ease into the environment, you take her hand in yours, feeling less exposed because you’re in front of other people who should believe your relationship is real. The mission is the only way you can justify your desire to feel Natasha’s touch.
By the time Beatrice comes back, Alessandro is right behind her and he introduces himself. His clothes scream old money, and the watch on his wrist screams fucking loaded of ilegal money as well.
“This wine is magnificent” he comments when you sit down and begin to eat.
“Le Lune del Vesuvio” you say, looking at Natasha across the table. “We spent our honeymoon in Italy and I just had to drag Nat to Pompeii for a tour”
“Are you familiar with the region?” Alessandro asks and you nod, having practiced everything.
“Yes, I did my dissertation on cultural identity in Pompeii”
“She’s a genius, my wife” Natasha says with a smile, impressed at how much detail you’re putting on everything to keep them engaged.
“Well, Beatrice’s family, the Fortunatos are from the same area. The Costas are from Sicily. So we are very happy to hear that you know it so well”
“How did you two meet?” Beatrice pivots, and Natasha is happy to answer.
“I was working on a client’s divorce settlement and needed an art expert. Y/N was the only one with the knowledge to help our lawfirm. A divorce brought us together” she says, looking at you with a smile.
Such a romantic.
“Oh, that’s lovely. Well, not for the divorced couple. But not everyone can get a happy ending, I suppose” Beatrice says.
It’s your turn to ask the usual questions and Natasha acts surpirsed, following up the way any normal person would, as if you don’t know every single detail about their lives and criminal record already.
When the conversation pivots to Alessandro, you perk up. This has proven to be the hardest part of the mission, as he keeps a tight leash on all their financial records through obscure third parties.
“You know, I also teach some finance classes. Would you be open to giving a lecture on art appraising? I think it’s an interesting market” he turns to you.
“That would be interesting” you say, groaning internally. Now you’re gonna have to actually work on a presentation, for fuck’s sake. Nobody told you you were gonna be quizzed to this extent during the mission.
Natasha hides her smile with the glass of wine, and you kick her under the table. Her smile fades just a little, but you can still see the teasing in her eyes.
She’s having too much fun with this.
—
The next morning you wake up to a note from Natasha. She’s picking up a “special” package, which means she’s coordinating with Maria the next stage of the mission.
You’re surprised to find a bouquet of flowers adorning the dining table.
Natasha is doing her share of the mission and you have to focus on yours, which is the fucking presentation. There better not be a Q&A session or you’ll lose your damn mind.
Moving to the study that also works as a surveillance room, you pull out your computer and begin to work. To be fair, you enjoy art enough to know more about it than the regular person. You had also been in contact with appraisers and auction houses back in your Interpol days, as you tracked ilegal art dealers.
For obvious reasons, you can’t mention that bit.
You’ve been working for a couple of hours when you hear the front door open, Natasha hurrying up the steps.
“Hey” she says with a frown.
“Everything ok?”
“You didn’t answer my text. Have you even taken a break to eat?” she puts down a heavy box in front of you.
“Sorry, I was preparing for the lecture”
“I got you your favorite food for lunch. And did you see the bouquet?” Natasha insists.
“Uh, I did… but is there a reason for…?”
“You seriously don’t remember?”
“Is it our fake first date anniversary, baby?” you tease, leaning forward. Natasha’s so worked up it's almost comical.
“Y/N, it’s your birthday”
“What?!” you turn to look at the calendar. “Holy crap, how could I have forgotten my own birthday?”
You are so focused on the mission, this completely slipped your mind. What were you supposed to do any way? Being undercover meant cutting off contact with the rest of the world. The timing sucks, but work is your priority right now.
“Work on that thing tomorrow. You should be resting and having a special day”
“Nat, it’s fine. It won’t be the first or last birthday that I’m stuck at work” you sigh, rubbing your eyes.
“Please?” she reaches for your hand, and the gesture is so gentle that your heart skips a beat. Natasha is very serious about taking the day off.
“Ok” you nod, and the hint of a smile can be seen on her face as you take her hand. She gets plates for the both of you and even agrees to watch Project Runway, which she loathes and you love. Without either one of you noticing, you end up across the couch, your legs on her lap.
“Our dinner reservation is at seven” she says, her hand going up and down your thigh.
“Dinner?”
“What kind of wife would I be if I didn’t take you to dinner?” Natasha smiles, making you blush.
“Well, no one really knows it’s my birthday, so…”
You leave out the most obvious part of how her logic is flawed: you are not even married.
“I know it’s your birthday. Come on. Just let me spoil you once?”
You clear your throat and nod, afraid that if you speak, your voice will give away how much those words affect you. Natasha telling you she wants to spoil you?
That alone is the best birthday gift you’ve ever gotten.
—
It’s honestly a lot more than you could have asked for. The restaurant is beautiful, the food is amazing, and Natasha is looking at you in that special way that makes you feel so happy and confused at the same time.
If you didn’t know any better, you could have sworn you saw love in her beautiful emerald eyes.
“How’s your food?”
“Here” you take a forkful of your pasta and offer it to her.
“Really good. Almost as good as the one we had in… where was it? Naples?” Natasha teases, and you smile.
“That’s the city. The whole region is actually really beautiful… maybe I should take some of that time off and travel again” you ponder, thinking about how life has been all about work for the past years.
“Where would you go? Aside from Naples?”
“Sorrento, Lecce, maybe Positano. I don’t know, I guess I’d spend it around the south, just because the food is that good” you sigh, dreamily.
“How come you know so much about it?” Natasha inquires, smiling softly.
“My parents owned a house, because my grandparents were from Salerno. So we’d all spent every summer there, until they sold the property” you explain, letting the waiter take your empty plate. The memory of hot days, cold water and delicious food comes back to you, coupled with the places you’d visit, driving everywhere with your family.
“So, maybe you were destined to be on this mission” Natasha says, smiling.
“I don’t know if destined or it was Fury messing with me” you slip up, hurrying to take a sip of your wine. He had teased you endlessly about your crush on Natasha, and he was probably laughing his ass off as he prepared your identities.
“Whatever it was, I’m happy we’re in this together” Natasha admits, smiling to you.
“Me too” you agree in a low voice. Then, you look at her and smile mischeviously. “So, since it’s my birthday, can we get a nice dessert?”
“I’m already on it” Natasha raises her hand, the man bringing a plate with a slice of chocolate cake and a candle. “Make a wish”
What could you possibly wish for? You wanted to spend time with Natasha, get to know her, have her look at you the way she was doing right now.
Your wish was granted already. Still, you smile, and lean forward to blow out the candle.
—
“Maybe this is a bad idea”
Natasha is hovering. Hovering and following you and asking all kinds of questions while you prepare your bag.
“It’s gonna be fine” you say, again.
“It’s too risky”
“All I have to do is place this phone next to his computer” you lift the device that Maria sent. “And we’ll have access to his files”
“What if he notices?”
“I better run fast then” you joke, but Natasha doesn’t laugh. “I’m a SHIELD agent, not a history nerd with no fighting skills”
“Except you are a history nerd” she mutters and you turn to glare at her.
“You know what, Romanoff”
“Can I at least drive you there?”
There’s a moment of hesitation on your side. Does she think you’ll screw up the mission? Or is she actually worried about you? Either way, she looks conflicted and there’s no reason to not give her some peace of mind.
“Alright”
On the way to the lecture, you review your notes, missing the way Natasha smiles at the things you’re saying about the subjective value of art and how it has changed throughout history.
Such a nerd.
“I’ll be in a cafe monitoring everything. Call me when you’re done and I’ll pick you up”
“Yes, darling wife” you say with a slightly mocking tone, the same way you always call her your wife in public, but with no one else around.
As you exit the car and walk towards the university, Natasha calls for you.
“I didn’t get to wish you good luck” she explains, pulling you close and kissing you softly. “Good luck”
“T-thanks” you say, out of breath.
Natasha nods, letting you walk as if she didn’t just do the sweetest thing in the world.
You try not to think about how much you’ll miss this when the mission’s over.
But now you have to stay focused.
Alessandro waves his hand in the air, and you walk towards him with a smile.
“I can’t thank you enough for doing this”
“It’s not a problem, really”
It totally is, you criminal motherfucker.
“Oh, I forgot my laptop, could I use yours? I have the deck on a flash drive”
Alessandro hesitates for a second, but his mask slips back to place instantly. If you really were a regular person, you never would have noticed his concern.
It means he keeps everything hidden there.
“Sure. Let me just…” he quickly types his password, and you look around the classroom, pulling out the phone and placing it on the table next to his computer. “All set”
“Thank you”
As the slideshow is projected in the auditorium, you look around the room, feeling more confident.
“So, how much would you guys pay for a banana taped to a wall?”
—
“I’m telling you, he keeps everything there” you say to Natasha, browsing through the device. “There’s some encryption, though”
“My expertise”
“Show off”
“Let’s get something to eat” she changes the subject.
“You don’t wanna go back home and check if it’s working?”
“I think a few hours won’t make a difference. We won’t be long, detka”
You think Fury would disagree, but she’s calling you detka and your gayness outweights your sense of duty.
“What are you in the mood for?”
“Anything you want”
“Pizza”
“Anything but pizza” she says, making a face and you laugh.
“Natasha!”
“Sushi” she proposes.
“Fine, sushi it is”
The evening is spent talking about everything but the mission, and by the time you’re driving back home, all you want to do is get in bed and sleep.
“Where are you going?” you ask when Natasha walks to the study.
“You did your part, now I have to work” she explains with a smile.
“Fine” you close the door to the bedroom, joining her in the study. “Either way you’re gonna wake me up when you come back to bed. Might as well help you now”
“Sure” she says, even though you know next to nothing about code and hacking.
While she works on the computer, you look at the window, yawning and stretching in the couch.
Natasha finds out that Pluto is the banking organization they use for their covert operations. To access the accounts she needs a code-string of numbers.
“How many numbers?” you ask, half asleep.
“Six”
“Not coordinates. Could be dates. Most of them like to write down the dates of their oldest founders' tombstones anywhere they can, like a fucking tramp stamp” you joke, falling asleep. “Get into the database and try those”
“Maybe…” Natasha begins to say, but when she turns around you’re snoring.
And what does she know, you are right, the key to the algorithm is based on tombstones’ dates. Talk about morbid.
“Nerd” Natasha says affectionately. Deciding it is enough work for the day, she closes the laptop, helping you up to your shared bedroom.
Truth is, she’s not ready to finish this mission.
—
The end is near, you both can tell. With the encryption finished and the communications that you have intercepted, SHIELD has enough to arrest them.
According to the conversations you recorded, the exchange is set to happen two weeks from today. So you have two more weeks of fake domestic bliss. And then back to being just colleagues.
“I’ll be home as soon as I have a response” Natasha says.
“See you later” you say from your spot in the couch.
“No good luck kiss?” she jokes, referring to the time she said goodbye to you before the lecture.
But you’re not messing around when you stand up and place a chaste kiss on her cheek. If these are the last two weeks you get to do this without being questioned, you’ll make the most of them.
“Be safe”
“You too” she smiles, squeezing your hand.
The sun is setting, but you don’t feel like cooking anything or watching television. Instead, you decide to go out for a run, passing by the Costa mansion out of curiosity.
“Hey, neighbor” Beatrice greets with her signature wave. She often looks like royalty waving at the commoners. “Want some refreshments?”
“Oh, it’s fine. I’m just out for a short run”
“Come on, you could use some rest! I’d love to hear how the presentation went”
Feeling cornered, you nod, stepping foot inside her mansion. Beatrice has a glass of lemonade ready, which surprises you, but you take it and sip slowly.
Damn, even her lemonade tastes amazing.
“Heard those students were fascinated by your presentation” she encourages you to speak, and you nod, the movement making you a bit fuzzy.
“It was fun… yeah”
“Everything ok?” Beatrice comes close to inspect your face, and you try to step back. Your leg gives in, so you end up on the floor.
“I’m not sure…”
It isn’t until the very last second you understand the woman drugged you.
—
Everything is upside down or so you feel as you struggle to open your eyes.
“See? I told you she’d be fine”
“Oh, shut it. We’ve been waiting for hours” a man says and you blink several times. Their names come back to you slowly.
The mission.
Was your cover blown?
“Y/N, dear, I do apologize. My wife may have overdone it with the clonazepam” Alessandro says. You try to move, but your hands are tied behind your back. “Yes, about that. Don’t worry, we won’t keep you here for long. We just really need to use your connections in the art world to smuggle a tiny, tiny thing”
Good news (for you). The cover is safe.
Bad news (for them). Natasha is gonna kill them.
It looks like you’re in an abandoned warehouse, and judging by the sound, it’s close to the river.
“Yeah, uh… look. I don’t know how to say this, but you’d be better off crossing the border, whichever one. South, north”
“I’m not following” Beatrice says.
“Well, I’m afraid Natasha’s gonna kill you when she finds you two” you grimace, almost feeling sorry for them. They truly don’t know what’s coming.
“No offense, but I think a Maggia family will be more than safe from…”
“The Black Widow?” you say, with a smug smile.
“Bullshit” Beatrice snaps, pulling you by the hair. “Stop the nonesense and help us out. Or we’ll send you home to your loving wife in a body bag”
There’s a loud crash outside of the warehouse, and a widow bite is shot close to Beatrice’s foot as a warning.
“Hands off my girl” Natasha says, gun raised and pointing at Alessandro. “You ok, sweetheart?”
“Yes. Sorry for missing dinner”
“It’s fine. We’ll heat it up when we get home” Natasha jokes. With a nod, you throw yourself to the floor, shattering the chair. Beatrice throws a couple of punches, and she’s quite the fighter.
While Natasha is engaged in battle with Alessandro, the woman escapes and you’re following close behind. The drug is still in your system, and you can tell by the way your steps are a little clumsy.
Beatrice leads you to the edge of the river and you catch up to her out of breath.
“It’s over” you say, hearing Natasha step right behind you.
“Cap’s got the other one. Let’s bring this one in” she says, walking past you. She fails to see the gun that Beatrice is hiding, and you push Natasha out of the way. The bullet passes between you both and you launch your body against Beatrice, knocking her down.
Still, your diziness makes you lose your footing and you fall to the river.
“Rogers, Hill!” Natasha calls over comms, borderline hysterical. “Someone come in”
“I’m here, Romanoff” Tony says, flying over the redhead.
“What the hell took you so long?”
Tony’s suit scans the river and finds you.
“She’s ok, I’m getting her out now. Handcuff our suspect there”
Natasha turns to glare at Beatrice, punching her so hard she’s knocked out.
“Bitch” Natasha says, handcuffing her.
Maria approaches to make sure Natasha doesn’t kill Beatrice, while the redhead sprints towards the spot where Tony drops you off.
“Are you ok? What hurts?”
“J-just cold” you mutter, holding on to her hands.
“Let’s take her to the Medbay. Romanoff, stay so you can lead the rest of the mission” Steve says.
“Are you out of your damn mind?” Natasha screams so loud that every agent on the scene turns to look at her. “I’m going with her to the hospital, I don’t give a crap about your mission, Rogers”
“Tasha, I’m fine” you insist, but enjoy the way she pulls you against her, her hands on your lower back. Natasha kisses the top of your head, leading you to a car that will drive you to SHIELD’s medical facility.
Fury turns to look at Hill, amused.
“Remember our little bet?”
Maria rolls her eyes, annoyed. She pulls out a twenty dollar bill and reluctantly hands it to her boss.
“So not fair”
—
Bruised ribs, a potential cold from your night swim and a minor concussion. All things considered, it could have been a hell of a lot worse.
Natasha seems to disagree, which is why she pushes to postpone the mission debriefing.
“You need to rest” is all she says.
Back in your old room, you shower, enjoying the hot water and clean clothes. Natasha is still sitting on your bed when you walk out of the bathroom.
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep without you” she confesses shyly, which makes you smile.
“Me neither”
“I thought I lost you”
“I got lucky. Those two idiots actually thought I was an art dealer” you chuckle.
“You’re a very convincing art nerd” Natasha teases, and you want to pull back but she grabs you by the waist. “I wish I still had two more weeks”
“It doesn’t have to be just two weeks” you say, running your hand through her hair. “I don’t want to pretend to be with you, Natasha. I want to be with you, for real”
“Yeah?” she looks up at you, a guarded expression on her face.
Instead of answering, you lean forward, kissing her softly until she pulls you to straddle her lap.
“You know, we never consumated our marriage”
“Seems like we should get on with it” you laugh as she flips you over, making you lie on your back.
“Just as long as you don’t fake an orgasm” she jokes, kissing every inch of your body.
“Promise I won’t”
Your reality turns out better than any undercover mission could ever be.
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ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴄᴏɴꜰɪᴅᴇɴᴛ ᴘᴛ. 𝟤
1. Upgrade Your Self-Talk
Be Your Own Hype Person – Talk to yourself like you would a friend.
Challenge Negative Thoughts – Ask: Is this really true, or just fear talking?
Use Affirmations – Say things like "I am capable," "I deserve success."
2. Look & Feel Your Best
Dress for Success – Wear clothes that make you feel good.
Grooming Matters – A fresh haircut, skincare, or just standing tall makes a difference.
Exercise & Stay Healthy – Movement boosts energy and self-esteem.
3. Step Into the Spotlight
Speak Up More – In conversations, meetings, or even small social settings.
Take on Challenges – Volunteer for tasks that push you a little.
Learn to Handle Criticism – Take feedback as a way to improve, not as an attack.
4. Master a Skill
Be Really Good at Something – Whether it’s a hobby, work skill, or sport, excelling in one area boosts confidence in others.
Keep Learning – Confidence grows when you feel capable.
5. Visualize Success
Imagine Yourself Winning – Before an event, picture yourself doing great.
Use Positive Memories – Recall past successes to remind yourself of what you're capable of.
6. Keep Showing Up
Confidence Comes with Experience – The more you do, the better you feel.
Don’t Fear Failure – Every confident person has failed a lot. They just kept going.
Stay Patient & Consistent – Change takes time, but small steps lead to huge progress.
Drink water now <3


pt. 3?
#clean girl#pink pilates princess#self development#glow up#soft life#do it for yourself#that girl#self improvement#it girl#becoming that girl#self confidence#confidence#selflove#love yourself#selfworth#authenticity
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WAYS U CAN PLEASE SATURN ACCORDING TO UR SATURN PLACEMENT ♄
1H/ARIES SATURN: RESPECT URSELF. DO NOT ALTER UR BOUNDARIES TO BE LIKED. SELF IMPROVEMENT. PUT EFFORT INTO UR BODY/APPEARANCE. WORKOUT / BE ACTIVE. HEALTHY COMPETITION. PRACTICE OFTEN. BE CONFIDENT BUT NOT ABOVE OTHERS. SLOW DOWN. SELF GROWTH. DELIBERATE ACTIONS.
2H/TAURUS SATURN: DEVELOP STRONG VALUES. DO NOT UNDERMINE URSELF. QUALITY OVER QUANTITY. INTENTIONAL SPENDING. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD. TRY NOT TO OVERINDULGE ; TRY NOT TO WASTE. STOP SELF SABOTAGING. NO SELF DEPRECATING. APPRECIATE WHAT U HAVE. EXPRESS GRATITUDE. DONATE WHAT U CAN.
3H/GEMINI SATURN: THINK BEFORE U SPEAK ; SPEAK LESS THAN U DESIRE. STOP OVERSHARING. FOCUS ON UR CRAFT ; GET RID OF THE DISTRACTIONS. POWER IN THE TONGUE. PERSONAL MOTTOS. STAND FOR WHAT IS MORAL ; BE WELL INFORMED. HAVE HARD CONVOS WHEN NECESSARY. BE A SUPPORTIVE FRIEND. STOP COMPLAINING. FIND SOLUTIONS. ADAPT & OVERCOME.
4H/CANCER SATURN: CREATE BOUNDARIES & STICK TO THEM. BE OF SERVICE TO OTHERS WITHOUT SELF SACRIFICE. DO NOT BE OVERLY SELFISH. EXPRESS UR NEEDS. TAKE CARE OF UR MENTAL HEALTH. EMOTIONAL REGULATION. SELF CARE. BE SELECTIVE OF UR INNER CIRCLE. POUR INTO UR LOVED ONES. TREAT OTHERS WITH KINDNESS. KEEP UR LIVING SPACE CLEAN.
5H/LEO SATURN: LET GO OF SELF DOUBT. BRING UR VISION TO LIFE. MASTER UR CRAFT. BELIEVE IN URSELF & WORK TOWARDS UR GOALS. GET RID OF UR NEED FOR OUTSIDE APPROVAL. LOOK OUT FOR THE CHILDREN ; BE THE PERSON U NEEDED GROWING UP. WORK HARD, PLAY HARD. DELAYED GRATIFICATION.
6H/VIRGO SATURN: FOLLOW A ROUTINE. HEALTHY HABITS. STRUCTURE. KEEP UR SPACES ORGANIZED ; DE-CLUTTER. BE A FRIEND TO ANIMALS. TAKE GOOD CARE OF UR PET/S. PUT IN THE WORK EVERY DAY. OFFER A HELPING HAND. HONOR UR OWN TIME & ENERGY ; DO NOT ENGAGE IN ONE-SIDED RELATIONS.
7H/LIBRA SATURN: MAKE UR OWN DECISIONS. TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY. CRACK DOWN ON CO-DEPENDENCY ; AVOID SELF ISOLATION. LONGTERM RELATIONS. BE THE BIGGER PERSON. FORGIVE BUT DON’T FORGET. APPLY LESSONS FROM THE PAST. TREAD LIGHTLY. RESPECT THOSE WHO CAME BEFORE YOU. FORM LASTING ALLIANCES.
8H/SCORPIO SATURN: KEEP THINGS TO URSELF. STAY PRIVATE. PRACTICE SELF CONTROL. RESILIENCE IN THE FACE OF HARDSHIP. HOPE FOR THE BEST, PREPARE FOR THE WORST. SAVINGS/RAINY DAY RESOURCES. EMBRACE CHANGE. LEARN TO LET GO. RADICAL ACCEPTANCE. SEXUAL DISCIPLINE. XTRA EMPHASIS ON SAFE SEX!
9H/SAGITTARIUS SATURN: PRACTICE UR BELIEFS. WALK THE TALK. MANTRAS. LEARN FROM OTHERS ; COME TO UR OWN CONCLUSIONS. STUDY. BE AN ETERNAL STUDENT. ALLOW URSELF TO BE OUT OF UR ELEMENT. RESPECT OTHER CULTURES. MAKE UR OWN TRADITIONS. STAY HUMBLE. ACCEPT MULTIPLE TRUTHS. APPLY WHAT WORKS.
10H/CAPRICORN SATURN: KEEP UR EYES ON THE PRIZE. TRUST THAT ALL THINGS COME IN DUE TIME. KEEP URSELF MOTIVATED. WORK FOR WHAT U WANT. STAY CONSISTENT. PERSONAL LEGACY ; THINGS THAT LAST. BECOME UR OWN ROLE MODEL. DO IT URSELF / DO IT RIGHT. LIVE WITH KARMA IN MIND.
11H/AQUARIUS SATURN: LEAD THE WAY ; FURTHER THE CAUSE. BETTER THE COMMUNITY— CREATE UR OWN. BE CONSCIOUS OF WHOM U ASSOCIATE URSELF WITH. BEFRIEND PPL OLDER THAN URSELF. LONGTERM FRIENDSHIPS. LONGTERM RESULTS. ADVANCEMENT. NETWORKING. ONLINE INFLUENCE. SET THE STANDARD.
12/PISCES SATURN: ALL IN MODERATION. HEALTHY COPING METHODS & LIFESTYLE PRACTICES. CONSIDERATION. REFLECTION ; SELF AWARENESS. THERAPY. STANDARDS. LEAVE ONCE DISRESPECTED. NO FAKE FRIENDS. MIND OVER MATTER. MANIFESTATION. BE REAL WITH URSELF. SELF TRUST.
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Venus In Signs In Groom Persona Chart


✮⋆˙Venus in Aries
Future spouse is direct, brave, and doesn't mess aroundexcept perhaps when he's messing around at love or humor. He's got a rough, boyish form of charm and probably fell in love with you immediately and without second thought. There is a quality of his confidence that is irresistible and an added measure of the hero complex: he'd like to rescue, pursue, and conquer. He loves with passion and intensity, sometimes close to a fault of impulsiveness. He's the one who skydives and proposes or composes 3 a.m. poetry readings with guitar accompaniment. Marry him, and get ready for spurts of romance, passionate fights (and passionate makeup sessions), and a desire to go out there and conquer the world. He likes to have a partner who allows him to take charge but also keeps him intellectually engaged. Quickness to anger or jealousy may be the areas on which he needs to work. This is a husband who has to feel alive in love if it's not exciting, then he questions whether it's worth it. Passion and spontaneity are his default settings, and slow love is his secret ingredient.
✮⋆˙ Venus in Taurus
Meet the man who does slow love, deep foundations, and lasting pleasures. He is not flashy, but he is consistent and possesses a voice that can lull you to sleep after a long day. His sensual quality is secure and tangible; he loves to touch, snuggle, cook for you, and spoil you in little but sensual ways. He's the husband who arrives home with flowers at random, or knows exactly how to have your tea. He's not a hurrier-he's a constructor. Security draws him in. He may be possessive or resistant, but his commitment runs deep. With marriage, he likely cherishes creature comforts: comfortable home, quality time, security, and physical bond that improves with age. He is not necessarily über-verbal, but every action is a silent vow. He works on trust, reliability, and sensuality. He's the protector.


✮⋆˙Venus in Gemini
Your future spouse is witty, smart, and endlessly curious. He might have been attracted to your brain first and face second or maybe your sense of humor regarding punning at a party. He demonstrates love in the form of talking: texts, jokes, thoughts, and constant questions. He's a gabby flirt with a cheeky, young heart, age aside. And diversity is his oxygen; if the relationship becomes stale, he'll psychologically leave before he physically does. He needs in marriage a companion who will facilitate his duality he's there and agitated, intensely concentrated and occasionally unfocused. Intellectual closeness is simpler than emotional depth. He might surprise you with spontaneous new hobbies, pursuits, or trips. Novelty matters in the relationship: mix up the routine, stimulate his intellect, laugh a lot together. He's not clingy but thrives when he is intellectually and socially challenged by his partner. Boredom is the foe banter is the love language.
✮⋆˙Venus in Cancer
This guy leads from the heart and protects what he loves like a crab protects a velvet shell. He's highly nurturing, emotionally attuned, and yearns to build a home not just cohabitate one. He's the one who remembers your notes, remembers your grandmother's birthday, and cries when your dog dies. Marriage to him is coming home. He's emotionally invested from the start and seeks a marriage with emotional security and shared values. He may lean towards traditional roles, especially if that's what he learned growing up, but his caregiving nature keeps him emotionally present and committed. But he's moody and sensitive, requiring reassurance and routine. He's not flashy, however: he enjoys intimate gestures such as hand-holding, home cooked meals, and gentle affirmations. He's the type of companion who wishes to raise children, enjoy holidays, and grow old together watching birds eat in your yard. You can expect warmth, protection, and the fullest emotional fidelity.


✮⋆˙Venus in Leo
Your fs is destined to love like royalty. He's melodramatic with affection, extravagant with love, and perhaps slightly addicted to applause. He's proud and charismatic, and must be worshiped but he spends worship lavishly as well. His ideal relationship is one that's epic and heroic, with a hint of romance, loyalty, and theatrics. He's generous with compliments and energy; he might overwhelm you with presents or stage dramatic nights on the town. He's the kind of man who'll pen a love letter and recite it in moonlight. But he has a giant heart behind the drama he wants someone with whom he can glow, not merely shine alone. Loyalty is paramount in marriage. Betrayal wounds horribly, and disrespect can generate deafening drama. But love him publicly, honor his pride, and he'll be your greatest cheerleader, protector, and snugglebug. He's the husband who will build your love into something of a legacy and a perfect Instagram one at that.
✮⋆˙ Venus in Virgo
He's not flashy and dramatic, perhaps, but he shows love in the most dependable ways: being there, fixing what is broken, and planning ten steps ahead of what you'll need. He loves through actions, not declarations he’ll alphabetize your spice rack but may forget to say “I love you” unless prompted. He may be modest or even shy at first, but beneath that calm exterior is a deeply devoted partner. He holds himself to high standards and may expect the same sometimes too much so. In marriage, he's the one who remembers appointments, refills your prescriptions, and teases your coffee making abilities with affection. He is a critic, but usually out of concern and a desire to improve things. Emotional vulnerability is something he learns over time, usually through trust. Give him safety, routine, and appreciation, and he'll be the kind of husband who improves with age: plain but valuable.
✮⋆˙ Venus in Libra
Your fs shows up in a tuxedo, flowers, and probably with a sonnet already composed. He's the gentleman sophisticated, romantic, and obsessed with fairness and beauty. For him, love is something idealized and sacred. He's drawn to equity, beauty, and gracious give-and-take in relationships. He wants a true partner in every sense equal, elegant, and emotionally perceptive. In marriage, he's the one who plans anniversaries, negotiates with wardrobe, and makes sure both are heard. He can sidestep conflict like the plague and overcompromise, so resentment is pent up. But he deeply does crave peace and intimacy. Watch for elegant courtship, heavy emotional diplomacy, and long-term concern to keep romance alive. He's a "us" believer as a unit and will give up more than he should to maintain harmony. Spoil him like both your best friend and sweetheart, and he'll be loyal through every high and every low just make sure to keep things reasonably nice and relaxed.
✮⋆˙Venus in Scorpio
This man doesn't fall in love he plunges. Rich, deep, and intense, he's drawn to transmuting, all consuming connection. He wants to know every single nook of your head and can't abide superficial relationships. There's something mysteriously seductive about him picture smoldering eyes and a secret he'll never really reveal. He is hugely devoted and fiercely protective within marriage, but needs emotional integrity and trust above all else. Betrayal is an atom bomb. He may have jealousy issues or control tendencies, but this stems from deepest fear of loss. It's an epic romance novel, not a casual romance, to be in love with him. If you can do the work, get in touch with your shadows, and hold space for each other, he'll give you a loyalty that's unbreakable. But don't do it with emotional dishonesty, he can sniff out lies like a psychic bloodhound. For wishy-washy love, swipe left. He's the ultimate ride or die with a Scorpio smirk.


✮⋆˙Venus in Sagittarius
Your future husband is half philosopher, half wanderer, his heart beating to the rhythm of curiosity and laughter. He's a big-lover, loud-laugher, and most drawn to open-minded, adventurous, and spirited partners. He requires intellectual challenge and liberty like oxygen. Don't put him in a cage he'll begin plotting an escape route. In marriage, he's the playfully supportive man who wishes to grow, discover, and develop together. He may avoid intense emotional drama but will arrive with energy, hope, and great respect for your uniqueness. He's committed when inspired and honored. Laughter, shared growth, and a vow of shared liberty open the door to his heart. He shines with travel, meaningful conversation, and common purposes. He's the husband who inspires you in your passions and challenges you to see the world in a new way. With him, love is a journey never captivity.
✮⋆˙ Venus in Capricorn
Your man is the solid, reliable, driven one. He won't show up with flowers but he'll show up on time, every time, with a 10-year plan and your insurance policy filed. To him, romance is less about frills and more about foundations. He takes love in earnest and may wait until he's "ready" to settle down with a relationship. But when he does settle down, it's for life. In marriage, he's protective, possibly old fashioned, and always future-oriented. He loves by duty: doing, arranging, and being grounded. He might struggle with emotional displays, preferring physical expressions of love. But get past his defenses, and he softens up, showing a vulnerable side that few people ever see. His loyalty is zealous, and he works hard to maintain harmony. If you want a partner who's substance over flash and who'll build an empire with you this is your guy.


✮⋆˙Venus in Aquarius
This man is intellectual, quirky, and remarkably impersonal when it comes to love. He's not clingy he's too busy plotting how to build a utopia with solar panels and a retro jazz club. He's a believer in equality, freedom, and mental connection first and foremost. When he does get married, he wants a best friend to begin with and then a romantic partner preferably in one deal. Although he may not be heterosexually hyperemotional, he's incredibly loyal in his own rule-bending way. He needs room, experimental architecture, and a mate who respects his independence. Get ready for offbeat evening outings, cerebral arguments, and a romance more like artistic collaboration. He is attracted to the intellect first, and if you respect his ideals, he'll be hopelessly besotted with you. Don't expect gooey sweetness, though he's Tesla coil, not teddy bear.
✮⋆˙ Venus in Pisces
He is romantic, dreamy, and sentimental. He may live half in this world and half in a fantasy world. He's empathetic, emotionally expressive, and sensitive to the unspoken needs of his spouse. He loves extravagantly and may even get lost in it. Marriage to him is a mystical experience, where love becomes healing, transcendental, and sacrificial at times. He might struggle with boundaries or idealize you so much that he ignores warning signs. But when grounded, his love is remarkably moving. He'll write songs for you, cry at movies, and sit with you in silence when words fail. The catch is keeping him earthed and validating his rich inner life. With this type of husband, love is not necessarily emotional it's paranormal.
[PS: For entertainment purposes only. Enjoy! ]
#astro community#astrology#astro observations#astro notes#birth chart#horoscope#persona chart#groom persona chart
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Phantom Pursuit- YJW



Jungwon is cocky, confident, and easily one of the most skilled world class spies in the world. Nothing seems to bother him and his impulse is his most deadliest weapon. His partner was skilled, capable, and detail oriented- aka you. Something big goes down on an unassuming mission. But little did you know this one mission could change the fate of the world as you knew it.
PAIRING: — Spy Jungwon ✩ Spy reader (f)
GENRE: fluff, she’s angsty TT, slow burn, spy au
WARNINGS: making out, petnames, skinship, slow burn, I hate to say but there is angst, mentions of alcohol, guns, blood, fighting, cursing, near death experiences, mentions of death, dark haired Jungwon!, two ocs , there’s probably wayyy more but idk how to do this
WC: 21.110 words
Yuni Says: hihi, this is my first fic ever. And I mean like on any writing platform. So I’m completely new to writing- pls bear with me. I’ve been lurking on here for a while but I never published anything. I’m not going to be very very consistent with my writing but I will try my best. Pls feel free to chat with me and give me any feedback to improve. But I’m really really excited to start my journey on here!! Comments and reblogs are rlly appreciated. Anyway I hope you enjoy~ bye lovelies
The mission was simple- get into the gala and do some profiling on the high end criminals there. Although there was a stir of something else. Something big was happening at this gala of the underworld. That is precisely the reason that you were standing here. Underneath these opulent chandeliers in this glittering ballroom in Paris. The soft hum of classical music and whispers of the crooked floated through the air. The gala was filled with champagne fueled conversations that some could only decrypt as devious plans. You adjusted the slit of your deep sea blue dress and scanned the room observing the shadowy and mysterious figures. The earpiece buzzed faintly as you picked up a champagne flute from a waiter passing by.
“Hear anything interesting?” Jungwon’s voice crackled in her ear through the comm system. His annoying voice was smug as always
You suppressed a sigh trying to keep your expression neutral. “If by interesting, you mean potential intel, then no. Just the usual crowd of criminals pretending to be philanthropists.”
“Come on, ___” Jungwon replied. “You need to lighten up a bit. This is just a profiling mission. Its the easiest one we’ve been on in a while. So just relax and try to have some fun will you?”
“Jungwon no matter how easy this is its a mission. We aren’t here to have fun” you say in a focused manner like always.
You scanned around the room noticing him. Jungwon was leaning against the bar in his sharp black tuxedo. His hair was slicked back and he had that air of confidence and easiness he carried. No matter how much you hate to admit it, his broad shoulders, lean build, and small waist looked damn good in that tux. His eyes met yours from across the room. They were deep brown and mysterious, yet they still had that longing look. Those eyes that hide a deeper emotion, something that you couldn’t quite decipher. Even after all that training and those missions where you read people to a tee, you still couldn’t quite read him. Yet, those eyes always lured you in and never failed to bring that slight flush up your neck despite how damn annoying he was. And that damn smile. That charming one he gave with both his dimples poking out. It had already attracted two women who were all up on Jungwon. It was pathetic and honestly infuriating how his simple smile had such an impact on anyone. What’s more pathetic is the way your own heart ached in the slightest way at the sight. Now wasn’t the time for that though. You rolled your eyes as you set the champagne down.
“Are you flirting with civilians again??”
“Would you prefer if I flirted with you instead?” Jungwon teased as he raised his glass in your direction.
“Focus Jungwon,” you hissed. “We are here for intel, not your dating life” you reprimand him as you eye the host of the party, he was new on the scene and your agency needed more information on said man.
“And yet,” he said, taking a sip of his drink, “I’m the one who’s about to make progress.”
Before you could say anything in return he had already slipped away from the bar. He excused himself from the two pretty girls who pouted as he said he needed to leave. The criminal was named Bryan Cavellott, he was new on the high end criminal scene. He had made his grand debut by stealing some jewels from a museum in Russia and now rumor says he has something else thats far more important than some pink diamonds. Something so valuable that he had attracted all the high-level criminals in europe to his gala. As Jungwon made a beeline towards the older man with the crisp white suit and shaped beard, he shot you a sly look.
You narrowed your eyes as you followed him from a distance. You slipped through the crowds as you kept your gaze trained on Jungwon. He had already begun his usual act: leaning in slightly, charming but conspiratorial smile playing on his lips, and a trustworthy tone of voice.
You spoke through the comm system again, “Don’t blow our cover.”
“When have I ever blown our cover?” he whispered with a confident smile as he made his way closer to Cavellott.
“Do you want me to give you the list alphabetically or in order of how many times we almost died?”
Jungwon didn’t say anything but the smirk on his face was answer enough. Instead he finally approached the old man. “Mr. Cavellott?” he said his voice smooth. “Quite a gathering tonight. A man like you must have something truly extraordinary to share with us.”
Cavellott’s smile was thin and practiced but it held a hint of amusement too. “Ah, and you are?”
“Jung Park” he said easily, extending a hand. “Investor, entrepreneur, and lover of all things valuable and rare.”
You groaned into the earpiece quietly as you decided that you needed to make sure Jungwon didn’t get one of his brilliant ideas again. So you approached the two smoothly.
“And who is your lovely companion?” Cavellott asked, his gaze sharp and shifting to meet yours as you slid up next to Jungwon.
“___ Nakamura” you say with a charming smile of your own. “Jung’s business partner.”
Of course Jungwon couldn’t help but add with a stupid grin, “among other things.” which earned him a well deserved but subtle jab to his ribs from your elbow.
Cavellott seemed to have deemed you two trustworthy as he openly chuckled enjoying the dynamic between you two. “Well, Mr. Park and Miss Nakamura, I assure you that tonight’s main attractions is unlike anything you’ve encountered before. An artifact of immense… potential.”
Jungwon tilted his head playing along, “intriguing. I assume this artifact isn’t something you can pick up at a local auction house?”
Cavellott smiled wider. “Hardly. It’s something far more elusive- something that has been hidden for centuries and only recently resurfaced.”
You leaned in slight, your tone cautious but curious. You preceded carefully but you couldn’t help but think- is this what all the stir was about? “Oh? And what exactly makes it so special?”
Cavellott’s eyes sparkled with a mixture of pride and secrecy. “Ah, but that is the question isn’t it? Its value lies not just in what it is but what it could do. That’s what everyone’s here for”
“Sounds dangerous,” you said.
“All things of great power are,” Cavellott replied smoothly. “But that’s why it must be handled by someone who understands its worth. Plus I’m sure a lovely and confident lady like yourself wouldn’t mind a little game of danger?”
You sent Jungwon a quick glance but you both knew what it meant. This was it. It wasn’t just a rumor, whatever this… artifact is, its dangerous and with the way Cavellott is speaking of it- everyone here seems to understand its value. You sent a calm but pleased glance towards Cavellott despite the way your nerves were on edge.
“And this artifact…” Jungwon said his voice steady but probing, “does it have a name?”
Cavellott’s smile thinned as his eyes darted around nervously before he leaned in closer. “I shouldn’t even be discussing this, but I suppose you’ll find out sooner or later. The artifact is known as the Phantom Codex.”
The name itself sent a shiver down your spine although your expression remained neutral. The Phantom Codex… it was something significant. The way Cavellott spoke about it was too unsettling itself.
“And what does it do?” Jungwon asked his tone light but calculating.
Cavellott chuckled lightly but with a hint of knowing. “That, my friend, is the question that everyone here tonight is asking. And the answer… is far more than you could ever imagine.”
Before the two of you could press him any farther a woman on the other end of the ballroom caught his eye. She gave him a sly smile before turning away and walking to the balcony. The challenge in her eye was unmistakable. Cavellott offered the two of you a rushed excuse. “If you’ll excuse me, I must attend to my other guests. Enjoy the evening you two.”
And just like that he disappeared into the crowd. Jungwon leaned in closer to you, his voice was low and calculating. “Phantom Codex. Sound like the title of a bad action movie.”
“Focus Jungwon.” you snapped back at him. Your pulse was calm but your thoughts were racing. “Whatever it is, people are willing to kill for it. I mean some of these criminals hate each other but look at the way they’re playing so nice tonight. Whatever this is we can’t ignore it.”
Jungown’s playful expression faded as he took on a rare serious one instead. “Then I guess it’s time to figure out who else here knows something about it- and what they are willing to do to get it.”
You nodded and scanned the room. This always happened to the two of you, not a single mission where the stakes hadn’t risen. You were playing a game where one wrong move could cost you everything, even your life. In this room surrounded by throngs of dangerous people, you knew the importance of this mission.
“Lets split up,” you said, your tone sharp. You gave him one last look over your shoulder. “And Jungwon? Try not to flirt with anyone.”
“No promises,” he replied with a poor attempt at a wink before disappearing into the crowd. Despite yourself a small smile formed on your lips. You just sighed as you shook your head.
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
The party shifted into a quieter, more exclusive phase as the night deepened. The glittering and glamorous crowd thinned, leaving behind only those with the wealth, power, and influence to justify their presence at this gala in the heart of Paris. You and Jungwon moved through the crowd, your ears sharp, ready to catch any piece of information about this mysterious artifact.
“Anything?” you whispered your voice barely audible over the classical tunes.
Jungwon, who was on the other side of the opulent room turned to find your eyes as he smiled teasingly. “A lot of people talking about a lot of things. Art deals, offshore accounts… oh and Lady Pennington’s pomeranian apparently needs a personal chef and maid.”
You shot him a sharp look.
“Relax Miss Nakamura,” he teased with a cocky smile as he made his way towards you. “But seriously, everyone’s buzzing about something being revealed soon. I’m betting its our mysterious Codex.”
You nodded, “we need to find out what it is and when its going to be revealed.”
As if on cue two men walked by. One of them was some normal small town criminal. The other one though… It was him, Ebony Lloyd. To say that the pair of you and Lloyd had a history would be an understatement. Whenever there was any trouble he was always there. He had a rich history himself… robberies, head of a notorious organization, bomb and arms dealing, drug trafficking. He was a tall and burly man with sleek black hair and eyes of a wolf always searching for his next prey. Of course someone like him was at a gala like this. He didn’t seem to recognize you as he strolled right by. He was talking in hushed tones with the man but you heard bits of what they were saying. Something that sounded like: “Air strip..” “Vienna” “no mistakes this time”. Great- he was on the move again. You would deal with him later, right now the Codex is what mattered.
Jungwon’s expression soured as he laid his eyes on Lloyd. “Would you look at that? Its our best friend! And he’s conspiring again. I swear he can’t ever keep still for even a few days.” Jungwon sneered quietly as he ran his hand through his styled hair in annoyance.
“We’ll have to deal with him later. Right now we need to find out about the Codex.” you say with a bit of an annoyed expression yourself.
Everyone’s attention got drawn up to the front as a man strode up onto stage. The conversation died down as the man turned to face the crowd, commanding the attention of the room. He started smoothly and with confidence. “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us this fine night. As many of you know, tonight’s gathering is more than a celebration– its an unveiling.” he declared
A murmur spread through the crowd as excitement rippled through the room.
“The artifact you are about to see,” the man continued. “Has been the subject speculation and legend for centuries. Its origins are as elusive as its true potential. But tonight, it is here, in this very room, for the first time in generations this precious artifact has been unearthed again.”
Jungwon leaned a bit too close to murmur in your ear, “I have a bad feeling about this.” With the shiver running down your spine all you could do was nod.
Two heavily armed men appeared on stage, wheeling a steel reinforced case onto the stage. The man gestured towards the case with a flourish, his tone turned reverent “Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you… the Phantom Codex.”
The case opened with a hiss and steam being emitted from inside. There it was.. The ever elusive Phantom Codex. It looked unsuspecting at first glance. Just a small black piece of tech that was shaped like that of a diamond. You had to take a closer look to realize that there were weird symbols and letters etched onto the surface. They didn’t look like any language you recognized.. In fact the looked almost alien. Whats more is that they didn’t seem to ever hold still, they shifted everytime you blinked. The tech emitted an eerie blue glow from the cracks in it as well. It truly was mysterious and a marvel of tech. You couldn’t help but think- how old is this really? Why is this tech so important if its so old??
Jungwon’s breath caught too as he looked at the object. As you looked around the room- no one seemed to be able to look away. They all had the same blue glow in their eyes. This small little black diamond had stunned the hardest of criminals as the crowd gravitated towards it. You could see Jungwon lean closer to the stage himself.
Snapping your finger in front of his eyes you pulled him out of his trance. “Jungwon.” you whispered in a hushed tone. “Stop looking at it. Its like that Codex is pulling you in- like everyone else here.”
He blinked rapidly as he looked around the room like he was finally gaining his senses again. He quickly masked his entrancement, “the only thing pulling me in is you cherie..” He brushed his hand against yours as a little tease. Your heart rate spiked but before you could come back with a witty comment the lights suddenly went out.
“Stay close,” you say as you place your hand on the hilt of the knife concealed under your dress. Panic rose even more when a deafening shattering sound echoed through the room. Yells and cries followed closely as Jungwon muttered to himself “damnit..”
When the lights flickered on there wasn’t a Phantom Codex to marvel at. “It’s gone” you hissed. The armed men were gone and the man who unveiled the Codex was on the floor, a pool of his own crimson blood surrounding him.
“We need to move. The person who stole it isn’t planning to stick around for long,” Jungwon rushed as he grabbed your arm. His grip firm but comforting as you two ran through the panicked crowd towards the nearest exit. Cavellott’s men were starting to close the exits. But in a quick series moves you rendered them unconscious as you ran through the gates.
“Where’d they go?” you demanded, your pulse racing with a mixture adrenaline and frustration. Alas, whoever it was, was long gone. The midnight streets of Paris were completely empty. There wasn’t even a trace of them. “We lost it!” you said, your jaw tight.
You pulled your hand away from Jungwon as you smoothened your dress out with a look of frustration. Jungwon’s teasing personality dimmed as he placed a warm hand on your shoulder providing comfort in the cold night. “We’ll figure this out. You know we always do,” he said his voice steady despite the tension.
It was concerning how fast he could manipulate your emotions with just a few words. You unclenched your jaw as you gave him a curt nod. Still though your mind raced. What exactly was this Phantom Codex? Why were people going to the end of the world for that little diamond? And why did you have a sneaking feeling that this was just the beginning??
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
Back at their hotel, you sat crossed legged on the bed, a tablet in your lap as you compiled all the information you had picked up- which wasn’t much. Jungwon on the other hand paced around the room with his tie loose, hair messed up with the way he ran his hands through it, and his shirt untucked. It was a sign of his restlessness.
Reviewing the security camera footage and guest list was of no use. Whoever this was- and you had a suspecting feeling- they were good. They were professional. Not a trace of them anywhere, just a shadow in the darkness.
“I think we both know who caused all this.” You said with a long exasperated sigh, falling back on the bed with a hand covering your eyes.
Jungwon groaned as he threw himself on the other side of the bed with the same hatred in his voice. “Ebony Lloyd. I swear when I get my hands on him I’m going to-”
Before Jungwon could continue his pleasant words a blue light shone from the tablet. The two of you quickly stood up and straightened out your outfits and you slapped the back of Jungwon’s head mouthing to him to straighten his tie before turning the video on. It was a call from your superior, Mrs. Kwon. She chuckled noticing your slightly disheveled appearance. Then Mrs. Kwon spoke with an easy tone, “agent ___, agent Yang. Nice to see you two so relaxed after a mission. Report to me.”
You spoke up first, “quite the opposite Mrs. Kwon. The mission didn’t go as well as we planned.” you say with a slightly ashamed tone but keeping your expressions professional.
“We profiled on Cavellott, but there was something else. The rumors were true ma’am. There was something big at this gala. Its called the Phantom Codex. We think its something we should be worried about” Jungwon reported. It was a bit unsettling how his personality changed to professional and obedient the moment he was under the hard gaze of our superior. What caught you off guard was the way that Mrs. Kwon’s easy and laid back demeanor dropped immediately the moment she heard the artifact’s name. There was some shuffling on her side- it sounded like she moved rooms.
Her voice came out in a whisper, “the Phantom Codex?? Are you two out of your mind?”
You and Jungwon shared a confused glance before looking back at her. “No ma’am. It's true. We saw it, it was at the gala tonight. But its gone now. Stolen.” you spoke up your tone sincere. Her nervous expression was making you uneasy. Mrs. Kwon was never nervous. “Ma’am if you don’t mind me asking. What is it? What does do?”
Her expression darkened as her tone was now dead serious. “Its dangerous. Every single criminal no matter how big or small is pursuing it. It can hack into anything and manipulate data in ways that humans never though possible. Things like government agencies, federal banks, military systems, nuclear codes, databases of civilians of whole countries.” she spoke, her seriousness making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. “You two listen carefully. No one. And I mean absolutely no one else should know about this. Is that clear? I don’t care what mission you’re on right now, now your one and only mission is securing the Codex. Is that clear?”
Jungwon could hear her deadly tone too as he gulped softly. You both nodded as she wished you luck before cutting communication. You let your stiff posture relax as you met Jungwon’s gaze. Both of you knew. This wasn’t just some tech, it was powerful, dangerous, and deathly. “I’ve never seen Mrs. Kwon that serious… Something isn’t right.” you observe quietly. You tried to read Jungwon’s gaze but his eyes were too complicated.
“Well no pressure right?” Jungwon sighed as he leaned back into an armchair his hands behind his head.
“This is serious Jungwon, did you see Mrs. Kwon??” you shot him a glare as you bristled at the way his posture was so relaxed so easily.
“I know,” he interrupted, his usual smirk replaced by a grim expression. “And we’re gonna find it okay?”
For a moment your eyes met, a flicker of understanding and something else passed through you. That something else made you look away as you sighed- even with the weight of this serious mission Jungwon’s gaze could make your heart flutter. “Just.. sleep soon. We have a long day ahead of us.” you say as you go to change into something more apt for sleep.
Jungwon let a faint smile grace his lips as he called out to you from the bed, “aww are you worried for me darling~?” he teased as he watched you come back from the bathroom after changing.
“Shut up. I just don’t want your work to be sloppy Jungwon” you say with an annoyed tone meeting his light gaze with a serious one. Although you knew that he was just trying to lighten the mood and tension. You silently thanked him for it before getting under the sheets.
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
The morning light filtered through the heavy drapes of their hotel room, neither you nor Jungwon was in the mood for sunshine. The air was thick with tension as you reviewed every scrap of information you had gathered the night prior.
You sat on the couch, your legs tucked under you as you sifted through endless digital files, recordings, and articles. Your hair was in a messy bun and the cup of coffee in your hand trembled slightly from too much caffeine and not enough sleep. Jungwon on the other hand was sprawled in an arm chair. He had seemed to made the decision to not be bothered by any of the events from last night. It frustrated you a bit that you were here busting your ass trying to find something- anything to help the mission and he just sat there. Tossing a stress ball in the air and catching it with a relaxed motion as if the fate of the world wasn’t hanging by a thread.
“Geez you’ve been hunched over that computer for hours” he drawled as he caught the stress ball lazily and looked up from his impromptu game, “have you even found anything?”
“Well maybe I wouldn’t have to be breaking my back for hours if you just decided to help.” you snapped, your patience wearing dangerously thin.
“Touchy this morning,” he teased as you clenched your jaw with frustration and annoyance. God- you swore he was the spawn of the devil- “what? Didn’t sleep well huh?”
“How could I? With you snoring like a chainsaw the entire damn night??” you spat back your head practically fuming by now.
“I do not snore”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” you muttered scrolling through yet another document.
Jungwon finally decides that he’s done pushing at your limits. He snickers as he stands up stretching like he had been doing some serious work this entire time. “Well maybe if you used common sense you wouldn’t have to be working so hard.” he stated as you were about at the end of your patience and your hands were itching to grab him by his pretty little neck and- “Vienna. Lloyd. Last night. I have to say- I thought with those witty comebacks I thought you would be sharper ___”
Your expression faltered as your mind raced through last night. He’s right.. Lloyd was there. He was whispering about Vienna and not long after the Codex had disappeared into thin air. It was him again. You sighed exasperated, finally getting up from the couch. You wanted to wipe that smirk off his face- you absolutely despised when he was right, “maybe your constant stupidity is starting to rub off on me. Just stop smiling and pack your bags”
As he stood up too he moved to stand behind you as he placed his hands deliberately on your waist. His voice was low and smug as his breath fanned your skin, “Whatever you say babe… but just once.. Admit I was right sweetheart.”
The only response he got was a deathly glare from you and his own yelp as you twisted his hands in an awkward angle behind his back, “try something like that again and you won’t live to see next time you’re right.” you scowled with a dangerous voice as he just grinned like an idiot.
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
The airstrip was alive with activity even in the dead of the night. The soft whine of jet engines and distant echoes of shouted instructions blended with the cold Austrian night. You had surveyed the area already so your movements were calculated. Lloyd had been clear- the Phantom codex was being transported through Vianna tonight, possibly by air. This was your chance to intercept it.
“We have to move quickly and quietly” you reminded him as you two sneaked through the grounds. You both blended seamlessly into the dark landscape- just like shadows.
“I know sweetheart, don’t worry I got it” Jungwon replied and you could hear the teasing smirk in his voice. You groaned internally at the way his sweet nicknames made your cheeks warm. Thank god for the cover of the night.
As you two approached the dimly lit hangar at the far end of the airstrip, your sharp eyes caught movement- a group of armed men were unloading a sleek black case from a private jet. Your heart rate sped up. The Codex.
“Bingo,” you whispered, pointing towards the hangar. But before you could say anything further, Jungwon covered your mouth pulling you behind the metal walls of a storage unit. You let out a muffed protest as your eyes widened.
You couldn’t help but notice the way that Jungwon was pressed flush against you. He had you pinned to the wall as he held a finger to your lips. You could hear his heart beat and his warmth reached you through the gear you both wore. His scent was a subtle one but comforting in a way. “Shhh, look-” Jungwon said in a hushed tone as you followed his gaze. There he was. Ebony Lloyd. He was getting off the jet that had been parked in the same hangar from where the codex had been extracted. He had tall burly men flanking both his sides as he made his way to a black van. He was close- way too close. You could practically smell his strong and obnoxious cologne from all the way over here.
If you two just stayed quiet and didn’t make a sound- CRUNCH!!. Shit. You accidentally shifted against Jungwon as you boots made a small sound on the gravel that was far too loud for the quiet night. Lloyd had a sickening smirk on his face as he made his way over to the two of you. You cursed under your breath as Jungwon stepped away from you, now facing him.
“Well well, would you look at that? The lovebirds and the world’s most dysfunctional duo!!” Lloyd drawled on as he voice was low and condescending.
You hated him too- not to misunderstand. But Jungwon had an entirely different fight to pick with him. Lloyd had a way of getting under his skin just like how Jungwon gets under yours. Jungwon was proud no matter how much he protested it. Lloyd had bruised his ego way too many times. You had to give it to him he was smart- that’s the only reason you ever lost. Its because he was always one step ahead. Jungwon detested him entirely. You could already see his rigid body language and clenched fists. Jungwon was practically fuming- this was something both Lloyd and you could see. And Lloyd took great pleasure in it.
“Jungwon… don’t. He’s testing you.” you clenched your own fists. You knew Lloyd and his love for mind games. But tonight the two of you had no time for his little game. The Codex was right there- so close.
But Jungwon ignored you. His teeth clenched as he stormed forward before you could stop him. “And you-” he seethed with his eyes cold and hard, “you little bastard. Got your sights on the Codex huh? Needed something more to show off to your pathetic little mistress? Couldn’t please her or your wife?”
“Oh stop acting so high and mighty jungwon. You can’t seem to win over your pretty little partner’s heart so don’t go insulting my love life.” He chuckled arrogantly. The statement really seemed to strike a chord in Jungwon. “These harsh words aren’t from lingering feelings about Milan right? Or was it Budapest? Or maybe… Dubai? You’ve lost so many times I’ve lost track.”
“Jungwon no-” you say your voice firm and hard as you eyed the four bodyguards trying to plan your escape.
But it was far too late. Jungwon snapped. Without a word he surged even closer towards Lloyd.
“Dammit it Jungwon.” you hissed desperately as you scrambled to follow him.
The two men collided, Jungwon’s fist connected with Lloyd’s jaw as a sickening crack rang out. The criminal staggered backwards and his bodyguards were quick to react as they rained down punches on Jungwon. You quickly lept into action kicking one of them square in the head while landing an uppercut to another ones jaw. You fired two quick shots incapacitating the other two.
Meanwhile, Jungwon freed himself only to launch back at Lloyd with more rage than before. But the criminal had more tricks up his sleeve. Quite literally!! He pulled a knife from his coat as they grappled. The fight was taking the two dangerously close to another jet’s running engines. Jungwon’s back thudded onto the flight’s metal body. Lloyd landed another strike but this time slashing Jungwon with his knife- drawing blood. Jungwon was too far gone to care at that moment. Lloyd landed one final cut to his abdomen as Jungwon fell to the tarmac.
You saw it happed with your own two eyes. The Codex. It had been loaded onto the plane. Lloyd smiled satisfied at the way Jungwon was trying hard to recover. “Jungwon!!” your voice rang out as you lunged for him. You caught him just in time. The two of you scrambled out of the way as the jet made its way down the runway.
There it was- gone once again, and that too in the hands of Lloyd.
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
The tension in your vienna hotel room was suffocating. You paced in front of the window, your arms crossed, your face the mask of frustration. Jungwon sat on the bed, one hand on his cut arm and the other on his abdomen, both trying to nurse the gashes on his body. You were fuming and it only added fuel to the fire that your heart was telling you to help Jungwon with his injuries.
“You completely lost control!!” you snapped instead, whirling around to face him. “We had the Codex right there, and you threw it away- for what?!? A grudge match?”
Jungwon sighed leaning against the the headboard. He was tired and annoyed himself, you could tell. “Lloyd needed to be dealt with. He–”
“He got under your skin,” you interrupted, with your voice rising. “And now we’re back to square one because of your ego!!”
Jungwon met your glare with his expression softening which only annoyed you more. There was a silence that was filled with tension and something else that was better it remained unspoken. You clenched your teeth as you saw the slight hint of a smile playing at the corner his lips. You scoffed to yourself. Why the hell was he smiling?? You just lost one of the most dangerous artifacts to a notorious criminal. This was most definitely not the time to be smiling. “What???” you snapped at him crossing your arms once again.
“Hm? Oh nothing.. You’re just really cute when you’re mad.” he said in a matter of factly tone. You hated yourself for the way your brain went blank for a good few seconds. You hated the way your cheeks felt warm and your breath hitched for just a moment.
You groaned loudly throwing up your hands in frustration. “Don’t do that! Don’t try to charm your way out of this.”
“Who says I’m trying to charm you? But even if I was.. It looks like its working- no?” he smirks despite the blood trickling from a cut on his lips. His damn lips that curled up even more when he saw your gaze on them. His damn lips that your just wanted to feel against yours- No!! You weren’t distracted by his idiotically plump, soft, and full lips.
You shot him a look after tearing your gaze away from his lips. Your sharp retort died on your lips when you saw the gash on his arm and abs. Your frustration warred with concern, but, with a heavy sigh, you grabbed the first aid kit from the desk.
“Take off the gear” you ordered your voice clipped.
Jungwon had the nerve to raise his eyebrows in mock surprise. “If you wanted to see me shirtless, you could've just asked babe.”
You shot him another deathly glare as you advanced towards him. The faint pink in your cheeks betrayed you as you made him put down the gauze he had in his hands and took his shirt off. Well I mean- you were just a girl after all. His toned muscles and hard lines of his chest and abs. The slight glisten of sweat and the scars that littered his body were so hot… well shit. “Getting distracted sweetheart?” Jungwon teased. You snapped your eyes back up to his face and made sure your gaze was sharp.
“Just hold still” you muttered, dabbing at the cut with disinfectant. Jungwon winced but he didn’t dare pull away. His gaze was trained on you as you worked with your movements precise and efficient. But your hands lingered on his skin for a few too moments too long. The tension was palpable in the air, the unspoken words and heat between the two of you was at its peak. You met his gaze and this time you could read it- but you didn’t want to. You were his partner it was strictly professional. The way your heart beat way too fast gave you away though.
He sliced the tension with a knife when he uttered your name out softly. It lacked any of his arrogance or its usual teasing edge to it. You didn’t look up. Too scared to see what you find if you looked up again. “Don’t Jungwon. Just… don’t.”
He reached out, his fingers gently brushing against your wrist. “I’m sorry,” he said, and for once he sounded sincere. There was undertones of something else too. “I screwed up.”
You froze, your breath catching at the unexpected vulnerability in his tone. You shivered at his gently touch, it melted away your anger and replaced it with something warmer, something neither of you could name. You took in a shaky breath as you replied, your voice lacking the earlier bite “you did.”
Jungwon’s lips curved into a faint smile. “But you’re still patching me up. Guess that means you care.”
You rolled your eyes, but the corners of your moth twitched up- fighting back a smile. “Don’t push it.” you warned but your voice had gone soft.
You fell into a charged silence, the air between you thick with unspoken words. Jungwon’s hand lingered on your wrist, but for once you didn’t pull away. It was dangerous the way your heart raced at his touch. “You’re too reckless,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
“And you’re too stubborn,” he replies, his gaze dropping briefly to your lips before returning to your eyes. At that moment you knew you couldn’t lose him. You hate to finally admit it but it was true. All the times he had risked his life to save you from near death situations, his stupid jokes that lightened up any situation, and his dumb pet names that made you smile every time. You knew you couldn’t lose him- so the least you could do for all those times was forgive him. Just this once.
You finished patching up his gashes silently before abruptly standing up. You walked to the other side of the hotel room as you set the first aid kit down once again. It was your pathetic attempt at trying your heart to beat normally once again. You turned back to face him- relieving yourself of the weight of your own gear as Jungwon spoke again. “So just to be clear. You weren’t staring at my lips or my abs right? Because then that would mean that you find me-”
“Jungwon!” you cut him off with a stern gaze. But his infuriating, smug, dimple filled smile still remained on his lips as he just shrugs.
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
After that night in Vienna you couldn’t stop thinking about him- well you always had him on your mind anyway- but something else nagged at you. This Phantom Codex… you knew what it was supposed to do, but it still had a mysterious aura about it. There was something so elusive about this simple piece of tech, and you were determined to find out what.
That is exactly how you ended up here. In your shared hotel room with your glasses forming dents on your nose, your hands trembling from too much caffeine, and your eyes had deep circles under them that showed how you had been up for far too long.
I mean you can’t blame yourself- you tried to sleep. You swear you did. But Jungwon’s words and gaze and touch just wouldn’t let you rest. Jungwon groaned as he blinked his eyes open- the bright light of the screen blinding his eyes. “___? You’re kidding me” he stated in a rough and groggy voice. He turned his head as he squinted towards the digital clock. “It’s five A.M. Did you even sleep?”
“Couldn’t” you replied short and distant. “I was too busy doing your job.”
“Ah, there it is- the sharp tongue of my favorite partner” he said with a smile in his tone as he heaved his body- still marred with the gashes from before- into a sitting position. “Morning to you too, sweetheart”
You gave him a glare over your shoulder, but the deep circles under your eyes betrayed your exhaustion. “Don’t even start with me Jungwon. I’ve been piecing intel while you’ve been snoring away again.”
“I do not snore,” he insisted indignantly, crossing his arms as he leaned against the headboard.
“Oh, trust me you do. After all these years of sharing a hotel room, you most definitely do.” You turned back to your screen, muttering under your breath, “it’s like trying to sleep next to a freight train.”
He just rubbed the back of his neck as he sighed in fake and exaggerated. He watched as you typed away, the sounds of your fingers dancing along the keys an insistent sound in the room. In an amused but concerned tone he prodded, “What are you even looking at?”
“The Codex.” your voice was clipped. But there was an edge of something else— anxiety and nervousness. “I hacked into one of Lloyd’s encrypted files. I think I found a list of targets who apparently know something about the Codex.”
He nodded as he shifter closer to look over your shoulder at the screen. “Okay, thats progress. But… why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” he questioned carefully.
Your fingers stilled on the keyboard and your body tensed. You took a deep breath before meeting his eyes, your expression guarded but your voice trembling just slightly, “My… My sister.. Her name is on his list.” you declare. Your brain was a mess even if you didn’t let it show. She was your sister, the few people in this cutthroat world that you loved and trusted blindly.
The air in the room seemed to thickened. Jungwon’s teasing smirk disappeared as he processed your shaky words. “Your sister?”
“She’s a target,” you said, your voice cracking despite an effort to stay composed. “I don’t know why or- or what they want from her, but–” you stopped, shaking your head as you pinched the bridge of your nose. Scared of just the thought or Lloyd targeting your sister or losing her entirely. “If we don’t get the Codex back, she’s in danger. I can’t– I can’t let that happen” you looked at him with scared and vulnerable eyes. This was the first time you let this happen. The first time you opened up to him.
He moved closer to you as he placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “___, hey. Listen to me.”
Reluctantly, you lifted your eyes to his.
“We’ll get it back,” he said firmly, his voice steady and unwavering. “I swear to you. We’ll find the Code, and we’ll protect your sister.”
“You don’t understand,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. Your eyes distant as you thought about the horrifying possibilities of what might happen. “This isn’t just another mission anymore. Its personal.”
“I know,” Jungwon said, his tone softening. “And that’s why we’re going to win this. Because when it comes to you and the people you care about.. I swear to you- I would rather die than fail.”
You blinked at him, caught off guard by the rare sincerity in his voice. For a moment time slowed and the truth behind his voice rang clearer. The unspoken weight of his words weighed heavy on your shoulders. It was nice. It was nice to know that he would be there, even when times were tough or uncertain. He spoke with a promise that didn’t waver at all. His presence was firm and steady. It grounded you even as doubt filled your mind. You knew that from the countless successful missions you two had accomplished, that with him- anything was possible.
“You’re such an idiot,” you muttered, brushing past the lump in your throat and rapidly blinking trying not to show your vulnerability even more.
“Then its a shame that you’re stuck with me isn’t it?” Jungwon replied with a smile tugging at his lips. “Now, come on. You need to sleep before you collapse on me.”
“I’m fine.” you insisted stubbornly, standing up and brushing past him.
“‘I’m fine’ my ass,” Jungwon drawled, following you despite the pain his body faced when he moved. “Just like I’m the best hacker in this partnership.”
“You? Hacker? Yeah right- since when??” you show back with your usual sharpness returning to your voice.
He grinned like an idiot and his dreamy dimples made another appearance. “There she is. I was worried the all-nighter had turned you into a zombie.”
You rolled your eyes but the hint of a smile on your lips was still clear as day.
Later that evening, after hours of futile attempts to trace the codex’s whereabouts and Jungwon’s incessant nagging, you finally slumped onto the hotel bed, your exhaustion catching up to you. Jungwon walked to you from the kitchen a glass of water in his hand.
“Drink,” he said, holding it out to you.
“I’m fine,” you protested though your voice was hoarse. As much as you silently appreciated his comfort and care, you didn’t need to be coddled by your annoyance of a partner.
He said said your name in a stern tone of voice that left no room for argument. You sighed but took the glass of water, considering your pounding headache from looking at the computer screen all day, it was the right thing to do. Your fingers brushed his for just a moment too long. “Thanks” you muttered out.
He sat next to you, his usual cockiness replaced by a quiet concern. “You know” he started, “for someone who calls me reckless, you’re not exactly great at taking care of yourself.”
You scoffed, “Takes one to know one.”
He chuckled lightly his head shaking at your retort even with the pounding in your head. “Fair.”
The silence that followed wasn’t really uncomfortable, but it was definitely charged with something you both refused to acknowledge. You stared down at the glass in your hands. Your mind still running in overdrive with worry for your sister, the Codex, and the precarious line that you and Jungwon seem to be walking on. This dangerous pull that lulled you both towards one another that you just danced around.
“You’re too good at this,” you said your tone suddenly softer and quieter. “At making me feel like everything’s gonna be okay,” you admit with your cheeks warming as you turn your head, avoiding his gaze. You sigh as you continued on, trying to lighten the mood, “I guess there is one single thing that you’re good at. Sweet talking your way out of messes?”
“Out of messes? Oh please darling- my sweet talking has a much greater purpose- like sweet talking my way into sitting on the same bed as you.” he pretending to sigh dreamily as the sparkle of amusement didn’t leave his eye, “wow~ what an honor.”
This led to you pushing him off the edge of the bed and trying to contain your laughter as he landed with a big thud. He let out a yelp as he rubbed his back, the big boba eyes he gave you only worked on those girls at parties. “How about you start trying to sweet talk your way into me not beating your ass?” you say with an amused but genuine smile. He huffed in defeat as he stalked his way over to the couch. You couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle.
“Goodnight sweetheart~” you mocked him as he silently flipped you off.
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
The streets of Tokyo buzzed with life, the neon lights casting a kaleidoscope of colors over the bustling city. The air was filled with noises of children, adults, and automobiles. It was freezing cold in the night and you could see your breath in front of you, coming out in a cold white fog. You trailed a step behind Jungwon, your arms crossed as you watched him survey the surroundings with an air of practiced nonchalance. The two of you made your way to the looming but sleek and modern hotel. Of course it was a five star experience in Tokyo, only the best for the two best agents.
“You’re unusually quiet,” Jungwon remarked, glancing over his shoulder at you. You couldn’t help but groan internally at the situation. And also at the fact that no man should look that ridiculously good with his hair messy and blowing in the wind.
“Just trying to figure out how we ended up in this situation,” you muttered with annoyance as you shifted the bag on your shoulder.
“Acting like a couple?” he smirked, pushing the tall glass door open for you. “Don’t pretend like you’re not enjoying it.”
You stepped into the threshold with a sharp glare pointed at him. You had to hide the fast pace of your heart somehow, “You’re delusional.”
The hotel lobby was elegant and the chandelier shimmered in all the hotel’s elegance. The ambient lighting and soft jazz music filled the space. You took note of the huge glass windows that could be a possible threat. The receptionist looked at the two of you with a practiced smile which widened when she laid eyes on Jungwon. You didn’t really know why but it made you roll your eyes.
“Reservation under Park and Nakamura,” Jungwon said in his usual arrogant and cocky tone of voice. You couldn’t help but be more pissed at his voice but also find it a bit endearing as well. It was something you looked up to, he had a certain way with his words and it always worked somehow.
“Ah yes of course, I’ll be sure to get your bags up to your room. Anything else you needed help with?” the girl at the desk batted her long eyelashes at Jungwon and it made you annoyed even more. Why, though? It's not like you had some weird feelings for your idiotic spy partner or something.
“Oh no that’s quite alright, me and my boyfriend can carry our bags up to the room ourselves.” you smiled at her patronizingly. You had to try really hard to ignore Jungwon’s stupid smirk as you lugged the bags to the elevator.
“Boyfriend? Staking your claim sweetheart?” he asked smugly as he struggled to carry the bigger bag towards the elevator. “Besides, why did you stop her?? Now we have to break our backs trying to get these bags into our rooms.” he said as he huffed, putting the bag down for a second to catch his breath.
“Did you want her to discover the Glock 19 stowed in our bags?” you asked in a mocking tone. You didn’t know exactly why you were so on edge from just a simple look Jungwon had received, but you felt as though from recent events.. You and Jungwon had started to walk down a dangerous path that none of you were ready to acknowledge.
You opened the lock with a bit more force than necessary. The hotel suite was spacious, with a panoramic view of the Tokyo skyline. But your heart truly dropped as your bags slipped out of your hands when your view zeroed-in on the centerpiece of the room. The king-sized bed. You shook your head immediately as you spun to face his already wide grinning face. “No way. Absolutely not. There is no way in hell I am sharing that.”
Jungwon with the most aggravating smile quirked one of his eyebrows, “What’s the problem? Afraid you’ll be tempted?” he asked with a hint of a laugh in his voice.
“In your dreams,” you shot back. You were not just about to expose yourself completely by sleeping in the same bed as him and then failing miserably to contain your idiotic emotions. No damn way.
“I’m just saying,” he said as he tossed his bags to the side. He jumped onto the pristine sheets, ruining them completely. “We need to look convincing, even in the hotel. The staff might be watching.”
You scowled. He was right, you both were well aware of the fact that Lloyd had his men lurking everywhere. “Fine. But if you so much as cross to my side of the bed, I swear-”
“Relax,” Jungwon interrupted, his hands up in a mock display of surrender. “I’ll stay on my side of the bed. Unless you wanted me to-”
“Don’t finish that sentence.”
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
You two were in Tokyo just because Mrs. Kwon had heard some rumors of the Codex here. There wasn’t any real evidence, but Mrs. Kwon was desperate. So for now the two of you just had to lay low and try to find anything more about the whereabouts of the dangerous piece of tech. That's the reason you couldn’t quite wrap your head around why Jungwon was parading the two of you around the hotel with his hand resting gently on your waist. Well you couldn’t really wrap your head around anything at the moment with how Jungwon’s fingers were softly brushing against your skin. “Remind me why I agreed to this?” you sighed as you forced the warmth in your cheeks to retreat.
“To keep up appearances sweetheart,” Jungwon whispered with his tone low and teasing, as his thumb rubbed absent minded circles on your skin, which only made your mind spiral even more. He had insisted that being stuck in your room all day reviewing the same five documents wouldn’t do you any good. So now you are here doing ‘bonding activities’ with your despised partner.
“I’m going to kill you one day,” you murmured through a tight lipped grin.
“Is that a challenge princess?” Jungwon asked a bit too loudly as you passed the receptionist once more. For some twisted reason this gave you satisfaction as you continued walking through the lobby. You couldn’t resist shooting her a devilish glance.
Still though, you forced yourself to keep up your act. “Lay it on any thicker and they’ll drown in it.” you hissed through gritted teeth.
You spent the entire rest of the day ‘bonding’ with Jungwon. But it was the small moments that caught you off guard. One of them was when you two were playing pool. He insisted that your posture was just offensive to the game. So he made a show of holding your arm as his strong chest pressed against your back. His breath lingered on your neck as his other hand rested on your waist once again. “Like this sweetie,” he muttered, his voice deep and velvety, as he paid no attention to the pool, his eyes only on your face, as if trying to memorize every little scar and contour. Your heart and mind were both unwell. They were working overtime trying desperately to process any of what was happening.
Another time he had you on your toes was when you were mid reach about to strangle him. The two of you were spending time in the arcade and as both of your personalities would permit it. The competitive streak was at another level entirely. So you were at your wit’s end when he interrupted your focus again as you concentrated on smashing the moles wherever they popped up. You had given him a fair amount of warning but you were running out of patience and points because you insisted on a rematch every time. A couple had strolled in and they were just about to take in the sight of you committing homicide. But before you could move you were pressed back against the machine with your arms unknowingly wrapped around his neck. “Play along if you don’t want to get caught ___.” he whispered, tightening his grip around your torso. You tried not to let the hammering of your heart and heat in your skin give you away.
The moment the couple had left you pushed him off but the smirk on his face didn’t budge.
When dinner came around you two had decided to eat at a fancy restaurant. But you cursed Jungwon as he smiled smugly at you. Obviously he was the center of attention for everyone there, so you couldn’t even curse him out without blowing your cover. He was taking full advantage of it though. “Say ‘ahh’ babe~” he cooed, holding up the spoon to your mouth. You rolled your eyes discreetly before you let him feed you. But before he could get too smug you sharply stepped on his foot from under the table. After all, you couldn’t let him think you were succumbing to his stupid flirting. You hid the smirk behind a glass of wine as you sipped it innocently while he glared at you from across the table.
It was late at night now. Even the beautiful city of Tokyo had dimmed its lights and gone to sleep. But you and Jungwon just couldn’t rest. Mrs. Kwon wanted answers and she wanted the Codex even faster. But after Jungwon had tired you out the entire day, the documents looked like they were from some other alien language. Your eyes were half lidded and bleary from the need to sleep.
You were just about to reach for the jug of coffee when Jungwon’s own sleepy voice called out to you. “Absolutely not. Hands off. Do you want a caffeine overdose?” he asked as he got up and took the jug away from you. You let a loud whine fall from your lips as you shot him a glare. You hate when he was right. But before you could shoot back at him with a snarky response, it all happened.
Both of you heard the footsteps from outside the door. Your head snapped up mid scroll. “Did you hear that?” you asked in a hushed whisper. The two of you were already in action though. You shoved the important files, weapons, and gear into your bag. Jungwon tossed you your gun as the two of you crouched behind the bed. The footfalls of the people outside were far too heavy and far too deliberate to be of normal guests.
“How did they find us??” Jungwon hissed as he reloaded his gun quietly. The footsteps paused and you took a deep breath before the chaos started.
The explosion rattled the room as the heavy wooden door came flying down. Splinters flew across the room like shrapnel, and you barely managed to miss the lamp that flew past you, shattering on the ground.
“Down!!” Jungwon yelled as the hail of bullets followed quickly. He dove towards you just in time before the air filled with gunfire.
Lloyd’s men poured into the room by the dozen. Their movements were swift and calculated but you two were like a well oiled machine. Nothing could stop Jungwon’s instinct and your precise aim.
Jungwon fired the shots, taking out the lead man with two clean hits to the chest. You rolled out from behind the bed, your gun steady in your hands as you aimed at the intruders. You picked the men off like birds on a wire, one by one with deadly accuracy.
“Left!” you shouted, and Jungwon pivoted, shooting the man who was trying to flank you.
“Nice call,” he said, his voice tight before he ducked for cover again.
You didn’t respond., your focus entirely on the men in front of you. One of them charged at you, his gun jammed, but you dropped him like a fly with one well placed kick to the chest, before you finished him off entirely with a shot.
“Watch out!!” Jungwon’s voice cut through the chaos and you turn just in time to see a man tossing a grenade towards the center of the room.
Your heart froze. You thought this was the end.
But Jungwon was faster.
He lunged, grabbing your arm and pulling you against his chest as your back hit the wall of the far corner of the room. The grenade exploded a second later, the blast shaking the entire suite. Glass shattered, furniture splintered, and a cloud of smoke and debris filled the air.
Your ears rang, and your vision blurred with tears as you struggled to breathe through the dust. You realized your head was pressed against Jungwon’s chest as he wrapped his arms tightly around you. When you looked up to see his distressed expression it's like you were looking at an angel. The sparks and gunshots whizzed behind him, there was a bleeding cut on his cheek, and his heart was racing. But in this life threatening moment all you could see was him.
“Jungwon…” you said, your voice barely audible over the ringing in your ears.
“I’m fine,” he said, though his voice was strained. But in all the chaos, you could see the bullet that was lodged in his arm. He grimaced as he moved to shoot more men that tried to advance.
“You’re hit,” you said with a trembling voice as the sight of his blood made you sick to the stomach.
“It’s nothing,” he replied, wincing as he moved, pulling you up to your feet. “We’re not done yet.”
More men surged into the room, but your initial shock and fear quickly transformed into fury. God when you got your hands on Lloyd… You grabbed your gun that had slid out of reach when the explosion rattled. You fired with precision, covering him as he pressed his hand to the wound. He winced at the sight of his own crimson blood as you shot down three more men. The room was a mess of bodies, blood, and debris.
“We need to move!” you shouted, helping Jungwon up as he grabbed the bag.
Jungwon scanned the room. The floor was unstable because of the explosion, more of Lloyd’s men just kept filling in through the door, so the only escape was.. “Window,” he said.
You both ran towards the large glass pane just as another explosion rocked the suite. Jungwon kicked out the window, the glass shattered into a million pieces. “Out,” he ordered.
“What abou-”
“Now!!”
You hesitated but still climbed onto the narrow ledge. Jungwon followed, his movements slower but determined despite his injury. You both got out just in time before another explosion rocked the building. The rain was pouring down in sheets. The slick surface of the ledge made every step even more treacherous than the last. But you two made your way to the emergency fire escape.
You two raced down the long dangerous steps as you covered Jungwon, shooting at the men who tried to pursue and pulling Jungwon when bullets whizzed onto the metal of the staircase. As soon as you were on the wet pavement, your hotel room burst into flames.
Bullets licked your heels as you narrowly avoided death, making a run towards a bike parked on the side of the road. You immediately got to work, hotwiring the bike as fast as you could. While Jungwon clutched his arm but still covered you with fierce determination.
“Get on!” you yelled, though you couldn’t hear much over your heart racing in your ears. You and Jungwon quickly sped away into the maze of streets. You rode like a maniac, avoiding cars by just small fractions of millimeters. The shouts echoed behind you but before Lloyd’s men could even rev the engine of their cars, you were gone.
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
The rain still lashed against the window of the safe house, the dim light of a single lamp casting long shadows across the room. The air was quiet but filled to the brim with tension. You sat on the edge of the couch, your hands tightly clasped in your lap. Your mind swirled with worry. Your sister’s face flashed in your thoughts- innocent, unsuspecting, completely unaware of the danger the Phantom Codex posed to her. She was a high ranking government official, both of your lives were forced to be kept secrets from each other. Yet the bond you shared with her was unbreakable and eternal. And she was only in more and more danger, if anything, the ambush today showed just how open Lloyd was being with his attempts. It showed… just how ruthless he could be.
And Jungwon… he had risked his life, gotten shot all for you. He sat across from you, his injured arm freshly bandaged after extracting the bullet and disinfecting the wound. His posture was more relaxed, the chaos had taken a toll on him too but he handled it like it was a normal Tuesday. His eyes watch you, sharp gaze softened by concern.
“You’re too quiet,” he said finally, his voice breaking the heavy silence.
You looked up at him, your lips pressing into a thin line. “What do you want me to say, Jungwon? That I’m fine? That everything’s okay?” you shook your head, your hands tightening into fists. “Because it’s not. My sister is in danger, we just got ambushed by Lloyd’s men, and you–” your voice caught and you looked away.
“Me?” Jungwon prompted, leaning forward despite the strain it put on his arm.
You couldn’t live with the thought. The horrifying thought that… you could have lost him. You stupid, idiotic, funny, loyal, and annoyingly handsome partner. How could you live with yourself if his dimpled smile wasn’t there to brighten any situation? How could you live with yourself if his grounding presence wasn’t there to calm you before missions? How could you… live without him?
Your voice was trembling now. “You could have died. Do you even understand that? If you hadn’t pulled me away from that grenade–” you cut yourself off, exhaling sharply.
He whispered your name, but you wouldn’t hear it.
“No, let me finish,” you said, your voice rising. “You threw yourself in harm’s way without even thinking, and I–” you buried your face in your hands, your body quivering like you had been reduced to some little girl- not a world class spy. “I can’t lose you. Not like this. Not when we’re so close, and when I still–”
He was in front of you before you could finish, he was crouching despite the sharp pain in his arm. He placed his hands gently on yours as he pried them away from your face. You met his gaze and it was sharp, like he could see to the depths of your soul.
“Hey,” he said softly, his voice steady. “I’m not going anywhere. Do you hear me? I’m right here, and we’re going to get that Codex. For your sister. For you. For us. But you’ve got to stop thinking the worst, or you’re going to drive yourself crazy.”
Your lower lip quivered but you nodded still. He was trying his hardest to comfort you, so despite the gnawing fear and doubt in your mind you believed him. Because when he was here with you, it felt like nothing in this world was impossible. Your eyes shimmered with tears, you refused to let fall, “You can't keep scaring me like this Jungwon.”
“I’ll try,” he said, his signature smirk softening into something more vulnerable and sincere. “But I’m not going to apologize for keeping you safe.”
You stared at him for a long moment, the weight of his words sinking in. He had done what he did, to protect you, he put his life on the line because he cared for you. Then something inside you broke– no, shifted. Before you could process what you were doing and meticulously overthink the consequences, your hands gripped the front of his shirt, and you kissed him.
It wasn’t soft or hesitant like the previous brushes of affection the two of you had. This kiss was deep, desperate, and full of the emotions that they two of you had buried for years. It was full of that desire that the two of you had danced around for so long. Your fingers curled tighter into his shirt, as though afraid he might disappear. He responded just as fiercely, his hands coming up to cradle your face, careful to avoid the still-tender bruises.
You couldn’t pull back from him- not until your last breath. Just like he had stood by your side promising to protect you till his last breath. But you had to when the air in your lungs ran out. Your forehead rested against each other as your breath came out in pants, mingling with his in the quiet room.
“I can’t lose you Jungwon.” you whispered out between pants. And this time when you looked into his deep brown eyes, you could finally decipher what they said. They declared his love and fear of losing you. But this time you didn’t dance around it. You faced the emotions head on, because now you finally had someone to love.
“Don’t get all mushy on me now sweetheart,” he said with a hint of his signature smirk in his voice, that now seemed to be something you could rely on no matter what.
Whatever this is, it isn’t perfect- far from it. But it's something that has been inevitable since you first saw the black haired man with his big boba eyes. And for a moment the tension lifted, and neither of you pulled away. You two stayed like that- close, vulnerable, and finally honest. It wasn’t easy and it definitely wasn’t perfect but it was real. And you knew that whatever came next, you would face it together.
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
Whispers of the underworld led you to this shining city. Monaco. But it wasn’t a whispering voice that had threatened you. No- Lloyd’s voice was firm and dangerous. ’You think your petty little agency will be able to protect your precious sister? I know where she is, I will get her- so have fun with your little lover boy while it lasts.’ and that's when the radio message had cut off.
Your agency was keeping your sister in lockdown. Apparently she knew something about a key? The key to unlock the Phantom Codex. Not just Lloyd but every criminal was racing to find her. You weren’t naive though. You knew there was only so much the agency could do. Criminals had their resources and they would stop at nothing for power.
That’s the reason your body was so tense as you leaned against the railing of the balcony. The shimmering city with its population of only the world’s most elite was alive this evening. The luxury and sports cars were lined up in front of the Casino de Monte Carlo. You had a clear view of the location where the Phantom Codex would be held. Lloyd apparently hadn’t let it out of his sight since the moment he got his hands on it. He had kept moving so no one could track him and steal his prized possession. Tonight he was here, and you had your sights set on it. Lloyd had no business with your sister and her information about the key if he didn’t have the Codex itself.
You practically jumped out of your skin when you felt his hands snaking around your waist. You grew even tenser before letting yourself bask in the way his lips moved slowly down your neck towards your shoulder. You weren’t accustomed to his affection but you had to say you weren’t complaining.
“You’re tense sweetheart,” he murmured when his mouth was right next to your ear. His breath fanning your skin, sent shivers down your spine.
“You were there Jungwon, he’s threatening her. My sister’s life is on the line..” you say as you stop his roaming hands. You had a really important mission to complete tonight. But he looked so damn irresistible when he stepped in front of you with the top buttons of his shirt undone, his sleeves rolled up to his elbow, and his smirk on his pretty lips.
“Baby, you have to trust that the agency will do their part,” he said as his hands remained on your hips, his thumbs tracing small soothing circles.
“You know that bastard Jungwon. He has the resources and the nerve, if we don’t get the Codex this time then its not only going to be my sister-”
Jungwon rested his hands on your cheeks as he tilted your head so you looked him in the eyes. “Hey. We’re not losing. Not yet. And not ever. You’ve got me, okay? I won’t let anything happen to her– or you.”
The rational part of you wanted to argue, to remind him that you’d already failed too many times, but the way he looked at you, so steady so sure. It made the rational side of you crumble as you believed his promise. Before you could say another word, he leaned down, pressing a soft reassuring kiss to your lips.
You stiffened in surprise once again, still not used to this gentler side of Jungwon. It was worlds apart from the cocky, aggravating partner you had grown used to. And yet, you resolve softened as you kissed him back, a reluctant smile tugging at your lips when he pulled away.
“I’m telling you, I should be handed an award or something- no normal person can get you to shut up as fast as me,” he teased, his familiar grin returning.
You rolled your eyes but the faint color in your cheeks gave you away. “You’re insufferable.”
“And yet, you kissed me anyway.”
Before you could retort, the shrill beeping of the burner phone you’d been using for intercepting communication interrupted you. Jungwon let his hands drop from your cheeks as he grabbed it. His face grew serious as he watched the small screen.
He held up the phone for you to see, “Lloyd is on the move,” he muttered, snapping the phone shut. “Looks like our Codex is on the move too.”
You nodded, already slipping into your professional mode. “Let’s go.”
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
The two of you were past all of the excitement and precarious bets of the casino, instead you were pressed behind a pillar. Lloyd and another criminal seemed to be having a meeting, maybe an alliance over the most powerful artifact in the world?
The air was filled with quiet but incriminating chatter as the two gave practiced smiles to each other. This was obviously going to end badly. So you planned to get the Codex and slip out before either of them noticed it was gone. It was almost time that the two powerful men would get up from the table to move to the bar. There was a sliver of opportunity when the Codex would be brought out by one of Lloyd’s men. Like you mentioned before- he wouldn’t let it out of his sight.
That would be the prime time where you could steal it right out of his dangerous hands and he wouldn’t even know till much later. That was the plan. The easiest, most simple plan. But there went Jungwon, with his killer instinct.
Right as the two men were about to move to the bar, some idiot criminal from the smaller leagues decided to get involved. You almost jumped in joy, this was perfect. All the focus was trained on that idiot and you and Jungwon could just slip in, get the Codex, and get out. You turned to tell Jungwon about the new plan- but when you turned to face him he was gone.
You cursed internally, you knew this would happen. Jungwon and his instinct, his need to do the right thing, his stupid moral compass. The criminal’s legs shook as he realized what a grave mistake he had made storming into the lion’s den. Jungwon though, didn’t seem to see the bigger picture. He stepped out from behind the marble pillar, his gun poised, he shot the two bodyguards that had the criminal in their grasp.
The criminal made a run for it but now the bullets rained onto you two. You forgot all about the Codex, in your mind now only one thought rang clear. Protect Jungwon. You lunged for him, pulling him back behind the pillar to shield him from the shower of hurt.
The men started making their way up the stairs but you were too fast. You grabbed Jungwon’s hand and pulled him behind you as you two ran for the window. The fall hurt, but not enough to forget the imminent danger the two of you would be in if you stayed here for any longer. You made a run for it and Jungwon wasn’t far behind. You were already fuming, this lead was very hard to find. It might even be your last one. Your last chance to protect your sister… After today’s events you knew Lloyd would try even harder to get to your sister. He didn’t want anything to hinder his progress to harness the power of the Codex.
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
In the hotel room you were done. You had worked night and day for that lead, for what?? For Jungwon to help some charity case of a criminal? The tension followed the two of you inside like an unwanted guest. Every inch of you was radiating fury. Jungwon walked in behind you, quiet for once, knowing that the storm was about to hit.
“You have got to be kidding me,” you snapped, spinning around to face him. Your voice was sharp and your eyes set ablaze. “What were you thinking, Jungwon?!?”
He sighed, running a hand through his disheveled hair. “I couldn’t just leave him there. He would’ve been killed.”
“And because of that, we lost the Codex. Again!” you shot back, your voice ringing. The fear of losing your sister was becoming far too real for your liking and right now- the only person to blame in your mind was Jungwon. “Do you even realize what’s at stake here? Do you even care?”
“Of course I care!” he said, his voice finally rising to meet yours. “But I’m not going to stand by and watch someone die if I can stop it.”
You laughed bitterly, throwing your hands into the air. “Great! You’re a hero. Congratulations!! Meanwhile Lloyd’s probably halfway across the world with the Codex. And you say that you can’t stand by and watch someone die?? Well that’s about to be my sister, and while you play the hero, I can’t even be there to save her life!”
Jungwon stepped closer, his jaw tight. “You think I don’t care about your sister? About the Codex? About you?”
“Actions speak louder than words Jungwon,” you said, your voice trembling with anger. “And your actions tonight told me that you’d rather play savior than focus on what actually matters.”
“Don’t you dare,” he said, his voice low and dangerous now. “Don’t you dare stand there and act like I don’t care. I’ve been right here with you, every step of the way. I’m the one who pulled you out of that explosion last week. I’m the one who's been patching you up after every mission.”
“And I’m the one who’s trying to keep us focused,” you snapped back. “You think I don’t see how reckless you are? How every time you're the one lets something slip, who makes us lose our lead?”
Jungwon took a step back, your words hitting him like a physical punch to the gut. “I’m doing my best, ___” he said, his voice quieter now but no less tense than before. “I’m not perfect, but I’m trying.”
“Trying isn’t good enough,” you said, your voice cracking. “We take so many lives everyday, it's our job. But you couldn’t let this one criminal die?? Even when my sister’s life is on the line??!”
There was a long pause, the weight of your words settling heavily between you two.
“You think I don’t know that?” he said finally. His voice was painstakingly raw. “You think I don’t feel that pressure every second of every day? That I don’t know if I screw up one more time, it’s all over?”
“Then why the hell do you keep screwing up?” you asked, your voice breaking now. You knew you were being unfair but you couldn't really bring yourself to care at the moment.
Jungwon looked away, his hands clenching at his sides. “Because I’m human, ___. I make mistakes. And yeah maybe I let my heart get in the way sometimes, but I’m not going to apologize for that.”
You laughed bitterly, shaking your head. “Your heart? Is that what we’re calling it now??”
“Yes,” he said firmly, stepping closer again. “Because whether you want to admit it or not, I care about people. I care about you. And I’m sorry if that gets messy sometimes, but it's the truth.”
You froze, your breath catching. He cared… he cared for you. For a moment, you looked like you might say something but instead, you turned away, pressing your hands to your face. Rubbing your temple in frustration.
“This isn’t about me,” you said after a long pause, your voice muffled.
“No, it’s not,” he agreed. “It’s about us. About the mission. About everything we’ve been through together. And if you think for one second that I don’t care as much as you do, then you don’t know me at all.”
You dropped your hands, turning back once again to face him. Your eyes were glossy, your anger had faded away into something more vulnerable. “I don’t know if I did the right thing. I don’t know if kissing you was right. And I don’t know if I can keep doing this,” you said quietly.
Jungwon was stunned for a bit, but he spoke again, his voice softer now. “You can. And you will. Because you’re the strongest person I know. And because I’ve got your back, no matter what.”
You shook your head, a stray tear escaping and slipping down your cheek. “You could’ve died tonight Jungwon. And for what? A stranger?”
“No, for doing the right thing.” He said simply.
You stared at him for a long moment, your emotions warred within you. Your undeniable care and love for Jungwon, and your worry for your sister and the millions of lives at stake. Finally you sighed, your shoulders slumping. “I don’t even know what to say to you right now.”
“Then don’t say anything,” he said, stepping closer and gently reaching out to take your hand in his own. “Just trust me. Please.”
You couldn’t help the way your breath hitched yet again at his touch. You didn’t pull away, but you didn’t look at him either, closing your eyes and breathing slowly. “I’m tired of losing, Jungwon.”
His grip on your hand tightened. He felt some hope flicker within him. “We’re not going to lose. Not you, not your sister, not this mission. I promise you.”
You finally opened your eyes and met his eyes. They were desperate and apologetic. Your heart made your gaze soften and the tension eased for just a moment. But just as fast, you pulled your hand away, your brain taking over now. You were never too good at thinking with your heart anyway.
“Get some rest,” you said, your voice steadier but colder now. “We’ve got some serious work to do.”
You could almost see his heart shatter. But he didn’t say anything, he just watched as you walked farther away. Farther away from whatever you two had started, farther away from his grasp, farther from these complicated emotions. He sighed, running a hand through his hair again.
“Good talk,” he muttered to himself before slumping onto the couch, the weight of the mission— and your fractured partnership– weighing heavily on him.
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
You woke up in a daze as the incessant ringing of your laptop startled you out of your subconscious. You groaned as you sat up, the digital clock showed 4 A.M. You heaved your laptop from the bedside table and opened it. It showed a contact that looked suspiciously like… your sister??
You were suddenly wide awake as you accepted the call. “Hello? Sora? Is that you..?” you whispered. It looked like your sister, but her surroundings were dimly lit and she looked pale. Concern shot up inside you. “A-are you okay? Where is the agency keeping you?”
She was breathing hard, she looked around agitated, “Hey sis, slow down slow down. I’m okay- but I don’t have much time. I found something… about your Mrs. Kwon.”
You furrowed your eyebrows, Mrs. Kwon? Well she had been acting a bit on edge but this was a huge mission. Your voice wavered at her cautious tone and your chest tightened. “What’s wrong? And Sora, where are you? Did something happen?”
Sora hesitated before whispering, “I’m okay, I’m escaping from where the agency kept me. But Mrs. Kwon.. she’s planning to use it for herself.. I heard her talking about how the Codex would give her leverage over every agency in the world. She’s going to blackmail people, threaten them, and use it as a weapon to gain power. She doesn’t have the right intentions and she’s a dangerous woman with all that power already.”
Your mind reeled from the information, “No… that doesn’t make any sense. The agency, we’re supposed to stop people like Lloyd, not become like him. Mrs. Kwon hates people like him. She.. she wouldn’t do that.” But you knew that she could pull something like this off. Still.. It hurt. It hurt to finally find out that the organization you dedicated half your life to, thinking you were helping people, it actually was all a fluke.
Sora saw the confusion and the pit that was forming in your stomach. She sensed it through the screen. Her voice broke slightly. “I don’t think you know what’s really happening, _____. You can’t trust them, you can’t trust anyone. Please be careful. I’m scared for you.”
You swallowed hard, your throat tight. Still you manage to give her a reassuring smile that seemed uneasy anyway. “I’ll figure this out, Sora. Stay safe okay? I’ll take care of myself, I promise, and I’ll protect you too no matter what.”
Sora nodded and returned your smile before the screen went dark. You sat frozen, still stunned at the revelation, your mind spinning. The betrayal felt like a knife twisting in your gut. How could the place- no, the person you put so much trust into stab you in the back like this?? It was done, years of your life had been wasted away but you wouldn’t let Mrs. Kwon do this. You wouldn’t blatantly let her harm innocent people. In two quick actions, you grabbed the burner phone and took out the chip, crushing the feeble metal in your hand. Betrayal burned in the pit that had formed in your stomach, you would stop that crazy lady. No matter what.
You pushed open the adjoining door to Jungwon’s room. He was sprawled out on the bed, his chest rising and falling steadily, the faint glow of the moonlight casting soft shadows on his face. For a moment your breath hitched, he looked so peaceful, so ethereal, almost like an angel- but the memories from a few days ago started to rush in again. Your gaze went from starstruck to cold once more as you stepped closer to his bed.
“Jungwon,” you said quietly, but he didn’t stir.
You took a step closer as you gently nudged his shoulder. “Jungwon, wake up.”
He groaned as he rolled over to face you. His eyes were still closed though. “_____, if this is about my snoring again-”
��Get up,” you snapped, your voice cutting through his grogginess. How could he be talking about his obnoxious snoring right now?
He blinked up at you, his confusion quickly replaced with concern when he saw your expression. He was so attuned to your feelings… “What’s wrong?”
You crossed your arms, your jaw tight. “Sora called. She overheard something about the Codex and Mrs. Kwon.” you say as you sigh softly, the dread and betrayal still fresh in your mind.
Hearing about the Codex woke Jungwon up completely. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, his expression serious now. “What did she say?”
You hesitated, your voice quieter now. God- even you couldn’t believe it yourself. “Mrs Kwon, she doesn’t want to destroy the Codex. She wants to use it— for blackmail, for power. Everything we’ve been through, risking our lives…. It's all been for nothing. It’s a lie Jungwon.”
Jungwon was shocked for a moment just as you were. His mouth opened but no words came out. You could see the gears turning in his head. Despite your recent… differences, you knew he had risked his life for it too. You knew he had been through what you had for the Codex. He felt the same way you did. He ran a hand through his hair, his brows furrowed, “are you sure about this?”
“She overheard it directly,” you say as you start pacing around the room, feeling restless. “And she told me not to trust anyone. Not the agency, not anyone.”
He leaned back against his hands, exhaling sharply. “Well that’s just great. So, we’re completely on our own now? I mean we can’t just go back there and ask Mrs. Kwon to stop being evil nicely right?”
You rolled your eyes at his childish words, you stopped pacing to shoot him a glare. “Pretty much. Which means we need to figure out what to do next.”
Jungwon observed you carefully. Your shoulders tensed, your eyes absolutely refusing to meet his voluntarily, and your not so gentle bite of your lip. “You’re still mad.” Jungwon voiced, softly.
You turned away from him but your shoulders were still tense. “Mad doesn’t even begin to cover it.”
“Hey,” he said, his voice impossibly softer now, “I get it. I messed up. But right now, we’ve got bigger problems than my poor decision-making skills.”
“You think I don’t know that??” you snapped, spinning to face him. The fire now present in your eyes as you met his. “But I can’t just pretend everything’s fine when it’s not. You almost got us killed for some random criminal. And now Sora is out of any semblance of protection because of our stupid agency.”
He stood up. His expression was unreadable but a hint of determination lingered in his eyes as he approached you. “You’re right. I screwed up. But if there’s one thing you should know by now, it's that I’m not going to give up. Not on the mission. Not on people. And definitely not on you.”
Your breath hitched, damnit, he was making those stupid unnecessary nagging feelings bubble in your chest. But you quickly looked away as you spoke in an ice cold tone. “Don’t do this. Don’t make this about us Jungwon. This is about the mission. About Sora. About—”
“This is about everything,” he didn’t back down. Instead his tone was firm as he continued. “And whether you like it or not, we’re in this together. So, you can stay mad at me if you want, but I’m not going anywhere.”
You clenched your fists. You hated this, the way you even had to choose between your anger and the comfort his words provided. But even after all of what had happened- you could never bring yourself to hate him. “Fine. But don’t expect me to trust you like I used to.”
“I’ll earn it back” he said easily like it was the simplest thing in the world. His gaze never faltered either. And as much as you hated to admit it, in this uncertain time you were glad to have Jungwon there. At least you knew you had someone who would never tire of you. Who was there even if he made your blood boil.
You held his gaze as you challenged him silently. But he never backed down.. He never gave up on you. You broke away from his eyes as you sighed deeply. “We need a plan.”
Jungwon nodded. “Then let’s make one, yeah? Together.”
You didn’t respond but still silently sat down at the small desk to start mapping out your next move. You couldn’t help but glance at him from the corner of your eye. For all his flaws, you knew one thing for certain— Jungwon would fight for you, for Sora, for this mission. And no matter how angry you were, part of you couldn’t help but feel grateful for that.
After destroying the chip in Jungwon’s burner phone too, you both sat down with your own laptops. It was time to dig, for a lead, for a radio message, for anything that would help.
It took a while, but after multiple hours of trying to find something- anything a lead popped up. Lloyd had become sloppy with one of his radio messages. He had said something about going underground for a while. His estate in Russia, no one would be idiotic enough to penetrate his heavily guarded and almost unreachable mansion…. Except the two of you of course.
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
The storm raged over the sprawling Russian estate, casting an ominous shadow over the towering walls and wrought iron gates. Lightning illuminated the sprawling mansion, its sharp spires cutting into the dark sky. Dark walls with crawling vines seemed to threaten and ward off anyone who dared to enter. Icy rain poured down in sheets as it soaked through the gear that adorned your body. The sound of thunder masked the faint rustle of movement as you and Jungwon crouched in the dense shadows near the perimeter.
“This place screams ‘villain lair’” Jungwon mutters, his breath annoyingly warming up the back of your neck. He adjusted the hood of his black jacket against the freezing rain.
“Focus,” You said sharply, your voice barely audible over the wind. You didn’t spare him a glance, your gaze fixed on the towering structure ahead. More specifically on the armed men who were about to exchange shifts in just a matter of minutes.
Jungwon sighed, casting a sidelong glance at you. “Wow you sound like you’re going to bite my head off. Personally, I think you should wait until after we grab the Codex to kill me, yeah?”
You didn’t respond. Pressing on to the side entrance you were going to infiltrate. It didn’t help that this was the most important mission of your life. The Codex was finally in your sight again. Not to mention that Sora was still on the move. No place was safe for her as long as the Codex was at large. It was also absurdly hard to get here after you had gone MIA from the agency. Mrs. Kwon seemed to have gone crazy because she stopped some of the most important missions to employ the agents to search for you and Jungwon.
But what was worse was the ever annoying tension. It was cold and biting like the air that howled around you two. You didn’t like to say that you held a grudge, but your anger still lingered like a storm of its own. And though Jungwon tried to break through it with his normal flattery and charm, you wouldn’t budge. Not yet.
You moved once again the moment the men turned their backs to change shifts. Stopping by the gate, you pressed yourself against the wall as you were met with the high tech digital lock. “This is it,” you whispered as you nodded to the door. The lock looked a bit advanced but it's nothing you couldn't handle. You knelt as you connected your hacking device into the lock. Your fingers were steady despite the icy rain that soaked through your gloves.
Jungwon knelt beside you, watchful eyes scanning their surroundings. “Still can’t believe you stayed mad this long. You know, if we die here, it’ll make for a tragic love story.”
You shot him a glare for bringing your personal relationships (or lack thereof) into the conversation. “If we die here, it’ll be because you can’t stop running your mouth.”
Not even a minute after the lock clicked. You pushed the door open and closed it just as the next guards arrived for their patrol.
The interior of the mansion was cold and dark, the air heavy with the scent of damp stone and expensive leather. You moved in silence, your footsteps muffled by the thick carpet as you made your way towards the vault. You had to snicker at the hideous pictures of Lloyd that decorated the walls. Him in nothing but leopard fur, him showing off his (nonexistent) muscles, one with two girls fawning over him, and yet another where he was sitting on a pony?? Goes to show just how self centered he was.
You kept your focus sharp as you two sneaked silently towards the vault. You were blatantly ignoring how Jungwon’s presence at your side felt like both a comfort and an annoyance . You couldn’t afford to be distracted right now anyways.
Jungwon, for his part, stole glances at you whenever he could. The tension between you was eating away at him. He hated the thought that you didn’t trust him anymore. He thought about this every time, but today it felt more real. This mission could be your last, and he would hate to have that happen with you still angry at him.
The vault was hidden behind a bookshelf in one of the many studies this estate had. You had thoroughly researched beforehand. There shouldn’t be any people in this part of the estate right now. You turned to Jungwon abruptly as both of you got in place. Your tone was just the slightest bit accusatory as you gave him an unreadable look. “Once we are inside, you know the plan. No distractions, no detours.”
“Understood boss,” Jungwon said, his hands raising in mock surrender. The two of you tugged at the two dark blue books on each side of the study. There was some mechanical whirring behind the door, as it opened with a hiss. The huge metal vault sparkled at you, just the menacing door stood before you and the Codex now.
You ignored the jab and turned back to the vault door. It was protected by an intricate keypad and a biometric scanner. You pulled out the small device again as you started working once again. The gloves you wore would bypass the scanner no problem.
“Time’s ticking..” Jungwon murmured, his ears on high alert for any sound outside the closed study door.
“Almost… there” you said your voice tight with concentration.
The lock disengaged with a heavy click, and the vault door creaked open. Inside, the metal room glimmered with Lloyd’s wealth. Gold bars, stacks of cash, priceless artifacts, ancient jewelry, huge jewels. But at the center of the room, bathed in the glow of a single overhead light, was the long behold Phantom Codex.
The codex was exactly as you had remembered it. How could you forget the piece of tech that had basically ruined your life anyway? Obsidian black, diamond shaped, etched with glowing cerulean symbols. It seemed alive, faintly humming as you listened carefully. You had to shake your head so you didn’t get entranced like everyone had at the gala in Paris.
“There it is,” you whispered, your breath catching.
“Finally,” Jungwon said, carelessly stepping forward. But before he could even take a single step closer the floor detected his weight. In an instant, lasers shot from the walls as ear blasting sirens rang through the sound of the storm.
“MOVE!!” you shouted, as you dodged the lasers skilfully but Jungwon beat you to it. He snatched the Codex from the pedestal.
“I’ve got it, lets go!!” he yelled as the both of you could hear the thunder of the probably hundreds of guards all swarming to your location.
You both made your way outside the study. You could taste the adrenaline as the window in front of you taunted you. But this time you would do it. This was your escape, your victory.
Jungwon ran as fast as he could, his focus was on the window just the same as you. The pounding of boots and shouting of the men spurred the two of you to go even faster. You were just a few steps behind him.
That’s when you stopped. The bullet flew through the air as you felt time stop. Your eyes darted to Jungwon’s retreating figure, then to the guards that grew closer. The bullet pierced your abdomen. You felt the stinging pain, not from the blood that stained your gear– no. It was from the realization that this was it.
Still you didn’t care. Jungwon had secured the Codex, he would do what’s right. And you had to protect him no matter what. Instead of running to Jungwon, you turned your back to him. Facing the absurd amount of guards that closed in onto you. For Jungwon.
But while you tackled one guard to the floor, you knew it. There were way too many. You still placed a kick to another one as they surrounded you. You were sloppy, your movements too slow. Another guard grabbed your arm as suddenly, someone else lifted the butt of their rifle, bringing it down onto your back harshly. You felt pain through your entire being as you inevitably blacked out, watching the window shatter just like your freedom.
You fell unconscious. Your body crumpled.
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
Jungwon jumped through the window. The glass shards cutting his face as the rain immediately greeted him in the courtyard. He clutched the Codex tightly against his chest. He turned back, adrenaline and victory coursing through him. He expected to see you, standing victoriously beside him. That satisfactory smirk gracing your lips anytime you both succeeded in a mission.
But his heart dropped. There was no sight of you. He felt his blood run cold as his chest felt like it was caving in on him. No! This couldn’t be happening. He didn’t feel the tears stream down his face because of the rain that poured down onto him.
You were captured. Gone from his protection into Lloyd’s demonic hands. His hands shook as he held onto the Codex. He promised himself that he would get it for you. But not like this. Not at this cost. “DAMNIT!!” He yelled your name as his brain finally caught up with the events happening.
Fear for you clawed in Jungwon’s chest, but more than that white hot rage burned through him. So much so that it threatened to consume his whole being. The what-ifs of what Lloyd could do lingered in his mind for just a moment, but they disappeared the moment he imagined you at that bastard’s mercy. His hands clenched and his jaw set as he stared back at the estate. No rational thought in his mind. He couldn’t think of anything else– didn’t want to. The mission, the Codex, everything else blurred into insignificance. You were all that mattered.
Jungwon moved through the stone halls like a man possessed. He was soaked to the core but he didn’t once shiver. He let himself think with his instinct and his instinct alone. Something you probably would have reprimanded him for. But it was his instinct that was guiding him to you.
The guards who crossed his path didn’t stand a chance. Anyone who dared to move towards him was struck with precision and speed. His movements were raw and fueled by a fire that burned hot inside him. A punch to the throat, a kick to the ribs, a quick disarm— he left them crumpled in his wake, barely sparing them a second glance.
The Codex was clutched tightly in his hand. The dark obsidian surface shone with rain. Every time some stupid guard tried to grab it, he twisted away, taking them down before they could make a move. Like the big burly men were some flies he needed to flick away.
He was there, he was at the inner sanctum now. He was breathing hard and his gaze deathly. His focus never wavering.
The room where you were being held was flanked by at least ten guards. They stiffened at the sight of Jungwon, their weapons raised. But the sight of his gaze and rigid form struck fear into their hearts.
Jungwon didn’t slow down. “Get out of my way,” he growled out. His voice was low, dangerous, and shaking with rage.
The guards still stupidly didn’t budge.
Jungwon lifted the artifact that they all were after up high. “If you idiots don’t move. I’ll destroy this thing right here and now.”
The threat worked. The guards exchanged glances. Debating if they should really move and face Lloyd’s wrath or Jungwon’s. One of them moved and the others followed. Their eyes showed uncertainty but watching Jungwon move swiftly they knew they would have been done for if they hadn’t.
Jungwon almost broke the heavy wooden door down, his heart pounding as his eyes immediately sought you.
The room was dim, the occasional burst of lightning illuminating it. It was freezing cold and Jungwon observed how there were no guards inside. You were on your knees in the center of the room. Your hands tied behind your back in a rough grip that would leave your wrists red. Your hair was damp still, plastered to your forehead. But your expression remained fierce. Your head held high despite the position you were in. You refused to give in to Lloyd no matter what.
Your heart leaped in frustration and unbelievable relief as Jungwon burst through the door. It was so damn frustrating that he had done this, risked his life and the lives of so many others just for… you. Only for you. You couldn’t help but observe how rigid his form was. The moment he lifted his head to look at Lloyd, it scared you. You had never seen him this uncontrolled, this angry.
Lloyd was stood behind you with a gun pressed to the back of your head. His face split into a wicked, wide, mocking grin as Jungwon entered the room. The Codex sparkling blue in his grip.
“Well well,” he drawled, his voice oozing amusement. “The knight in shining armor returns. I must admit, I didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to come back for your little girlfriend.”
Jungwon’s gaze was locked on you. His fury only heightened once he saw how Lloyd was holding you at gunpoint. He shook his head as he straightened up. “You don’t understand what I’d do for her.” he said his voice barely audible but full of anger.
“Jungwon!! NO!!!” you shouted, finding your voice once again. “You shouldn’t be here!! Take the Codex and go!!” The shout made your bullet wound in your abdomen sting with unbearable pain, as you gritted your teeth.
Lloyd chuckled, amused by the little display. He menacingly nudged the barrel of the gun into your skull. “Listen to her boy. She’s smarter than you are.”
Jungwon ignored the both of you. His expression was hard, no one could tell what ran through his mind. His focus was entirely you. The grip he had on the Codex tightened. “Let her go, Lloyd!”
Lloyd almost laughed. He raised his eyebrows “and what position are you in to make that demand? Besides, why would I do that?? She’s quite the leverage. You hand over the Codex, or I blow her pretty little brains out.”
“Jungwon!!” you said in a warning tone, a certain urgency in your voice. “Don’t. Don’t give it to him. It’s not worth it. I did this so you could escape!! SO GO DAMMIT!!”
Jungwon’s heart clenched at the barely masked fear in your voice. His mind still pissed that you cared more about the stupid artifact more than yourself. How could you be so blind? You had to have known. To Jungwon, nothing mattered but you. “You want the Codex? Fine. Take it.”
“Jungwon no!!!” You yelled in vain.
He strode across the room and without hesitation, Jungwon tossed the Codex across the room. It landed at Lloyd’s feet, and the bastard’s grin widened.
“Ah~ the hero sacrifices everything for the damsel. How predictable.” Lloyd kicked the Codex aside and turned his evil eyes toward Jungwon again. “But you’re a fool if you think this ends well for you.”
He cocked the gun.
Jungwon moved before Lloyd could even think to pull the trigger.
With lightning speed, he lunged forward, grabbing a knife from his belt and throwing it with deadly accuracy. His fury at its peak, his vision completely red. The blade sank into Lloyd’s shoulder, forcing him to drop the gun and stagger back with a howl of pain.
You fell forward as the gun was wrenched away from him, landing hard on the cold stone tiles.
Jungwon couldn’t see anything but rage. He was already on Lloyd, tackling him to the ground and landing a flurry of punches. The sickening sound of flesh hitting flesh echoed through the empty chamber. The only other sounds being Lloyd’s groaning and Jungwon’s labored breathing.
“THIS IS FOR HER!!” Jungwon growled loudly, slamming Lloyd’s head into the floor. The crack of his skull was loud and clear, but Jungwon didn’t seem to hear it. “For all the people you’ve made suffer. For everyone you’ve hurt. For everything you’ve done!”
Lloyd was done. He was lifeless, his body limp but Jungwon didn’t stop. Jungwon didn’t think of any intel, of what use he could have been. All he could think of was slamming his skull into the floor over and over and-
“Jungwon stop!” your voice cut through his haze of rage.
His eyes seemed to finally refocus as the anger slowly dissipated. His heart clenched when he looked over his shoulder at how you were struggling to your feet, your hands still bound.
“He’s done..” you said in a soft whisper. “We need to go.”
Jungwon’s chest heaved as he stared down at Lloyd, who was lifeless. After he scowled at him, his eyes narrowing, he nodded and stood. Pocketing the gun that laid close to Lloyd. He picked up the damned Codex before making his way towards you.
No words were exchanged between the two of you as Jungwon untied your hands with surprising gentleness. Considering how angry he had just been it was astonishing how he handled you like a porcelain doll. The moment that your hands were free, you threw your arms around him, burying your face into his strong chest. You felt an inexplicable amount of relief and warmth as you were finally able to wrap your arms around him once again.
“You… you’re an idiot, Yang Jungwon.” you whispered, your voice shaking as Jungwon felt you wet his jacket that he wore. He hugged you back tightly. His hands wrapped around your whole body as he pulled you close to him. You cursed as the pain shot up in your abdomen once more.
He immediately pulled back as his hands rested carefully on your hips, “___?? What’s wrong?” he said with big boba eyes that showed nothing but concern.
“I’m okay won, just got shot.” you told him, the smile on your face looking like an idiotic grin. The tears still shone bright in your eyes. You ran your fingers through his soft locks as your eyes darted trying to memorize every single detail of his beautiful face.
“Just???-” he was about to tell you off, when the door flew open. The remaining guards poured into the room, guns drawn and shouting commands in Russian.
You and Jungwon immediately broke apart, your instincts kicking in. Jungwon reached for Lloyd’s gun in his pocket while you ducked behind him, your sharp eyes scanning for an opening.
“We’re not out of this yet,” Jungwon muttered, his tone laced with a mixture of irritation and exhilaration.
You smirked at him despite the chaos. The dynamic between you two undeniably felt right again, “thought you liked dramatic exits.”
Jungwon tilted his head, just barely dodging a bullet that whizzed past. “That I do.”
Jungwon fired a few warning shots wildly into the air. Forcing the guards to take cover as the two of you darted for the hallway. The storm still raged outside but there was a hint of blue skies not too far from the gray clouds. Thunder rumbled as the pair of you sprinted through the sprawling mansion. The ache in your abdomen was still present but you could bear it, because the taste of freedom was too sweet.
“You could’ve reminded me about the cavalry!” Jungwon called out over his shoulder as you rounded a corner, narrowly avoiding another group of guards.
You scoffed, breathless but focused. “I didn’t think you would be stupid enough to actually throw the Codex to Lloyd, but here we are.”
Jungwon laughed, his sweet stupid laugh. It rang out in your ears the sweetest melody you’d ever heard. “Anything for you babe! You know that.”
You couldn't afford the butterflies raging within you, but god you couldn’t stop them either. Just like the foolish grin that spread across your face.
The hallways seemed endless, a labyrinth of opulent decor and deadly ambushes. Guards spilled out from doorways, but you and Jungwon moved in a seamless unit. You kicked a marble bust, sending it crashing into the path of the pursuers, while Jungwon threw his knife that found its mark in another guard’s leg.
Finally, the mansion’s main entrance came into view, its grand double doors flanked by a pair of guards. You didn’t slow down one bit though, your mind racing. You didn’t have a plan sure, but you had Jungwon and his killer instinct. “Left or right?” you hissed at Jungwon.
“Both,” his eyes twinkled as he veered right.
You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help the burst of joy as you saw the look in his eyes. You darted to the left, sliding low as you kicked one guard’s feet out from under him. Jungwon tackled the other, knocking his weapon away before landing a solid punch to his jaw.
The doors were pushed open by the two of you as the storm had seemed to ease up a bit. Rain still softly pelted you as you bolted down the stone steps toward the row of motorcycles parked outside. You flipped off the estate in the background, the grin not leaving your face. “HA!! You bastards!!”
You let out a breathless laugh as the two of you mounted the Kawasaki Ninjas. You grinned at Jungwon, for the first time in a while feeling the thrill of freedom and success. “How’d you know I’d have these ready?”
Jungwon revved the engine, smirking at you, “Because you’re you.”
“And what does that mean?”
“It means you're crazy detailed and brilliant as hell.”
Your stomach flipped at the unexpected sincerity in his tone, but there was no time to dwell on it. The two of you sped off into the night. Kicking back gravel and mud in your wake. Shots were being fired into the air but you were too far from the estate to worry about any of that.
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
The cool night air softly tousled your hair. The two roaring engines fell silent as the bikes came to a stop at a beach by the road. The two of you were far off the path of the storm and far enough away that Lloyd’s men weren’t catching up anytime soon. The air was biting at your skin but still it was calm. The only sound was the rhythmic crashing of the waves. The scene in front of you was truly breathtaking. Gray sands giving away to dark waves. Except the fact that the waves weren’t as black as they seemed. On occasion as some of them crashed onto the shore, they lit up to be an azure blue. Bioluminescence graced the waves curves and foam.
You had time to think. And while on the ride here you contemplated. Jungwon had done something foolish that had no guarantee of working out. But by some godly will it did. You couldn’t help but be just a bit pissed that you risked your life for him just for him to save you in the end. There was a small part of you that said to tell him off for it. Now that you were past the rush of adrenaline you could think clearly once more.
Jungwon had hopped off the bike shaking the water out of his hair. You couldn’t help but stop and stare for a second as he looked angelic. The moonlight illuminated his pale skin and the moon itself shone bright in his eyes. It’s like he was struck by the beauty of the moon. His broad shoulders tensed when he looked at you. Standing with your arms crossed and an unreadable expression on your face.
“I hope you know I’m not letting you off the hook. That was stupid what you did.” You say trying to sound stern but there was no real bite to your voice.
“I heard you loud and clear the first time.” He said with a chuckle leaning casually on his bike.
You huffed at his nonchalant attitude as you strode towards him. You poked his chest hard. “You threw the Codex at Lloyd like a fool! Do you realize how reckless that was?? You-“
“Saved your life?” He interrupted. His hand laced his fingers with yours as he leaned in closer. His voice dropped to something deeper, more serious.
You were frozen in place. It’s like your brain shut off once again when his hand was grasped in yours. He was way too close too. You could see the soft shadows so his eyelashes and his deep dimple poked out as he smirked. You opened your mouth to say something but the words died on your lips. He was right, he had saved your life. Again. You hated when he was right- you were supposed to be the smart one. You stared at him as your heart pounded for reasons you couldn’t entirely blame on anger.
“You put the entire world in danger,” you whispered, as if saying anything louder would break this perfect moment. “For me.”
His smirk softened into a smile as he brought his other hand up. Tucking a piece of damp hair behind your ear. His hand lingered for just a moment too long. He stared at you with so many emotions you couldn’t decipher them all. “Baby… you are my world.”
Your breath hitched. You were rendered completely speechless. The only sound was the waves beating on the shore and the thump of your heartbeat. The petname, the way his hand was still in yours, the way his eyes softened just for you. You didn’t think anymore, letting your instincts take over. Just like he would have done.
You grabbed him by the collar of his jacket as you stared into his moonlit eyes before your gaze landed on his lips. You shoved him against the side of his parked bike.
“You’re impossible.” You muttered, but the way your lips twitched threatening a smile betrayed your resolve.
“And you love it” jungwon managed to shoot back. His grin faltered the moment you pulled him down by his collar.
Your lips met in a collision of fire and fury, a kiss born of unspoken emotions and pent-up tension. It wasn’t soft or tentative; it was deep, desperate, and raw. The way your mouths moved in sync like they were trying to make up for lost time. The kiss was sure and firm.
His lips were soft, plump, and pillowy just as you had remembered them. You couldn’t lie and say that you hadn’t missed him. The way he slightly smiled into the kiss. His tongue darting out to trace the outline of your lower lip.
His hands found your waist. Making sure to be extra careful that he didn’t irritate the wound on your abdomen. But the way he slightly tightened his grip when his tongue finally entered your mouth, he was holding on like you might slip away again if he lets go.
Your hands were in his dark and damp locks as your knuckles curled around his soft hair. You tugged slightly, earning a low groan from him that vibrated against your mouth. The sound makes shivers run down your spine.
You pressed him harder against the bike. Your body molded to his in a way that felt like you were trying to crawl into his skin. His hands roamed over your back as he traced soft patterns, grounding you like an anchor in the moment.
“Jungwon-“ you whined when he pulled away for a breath. The sound only made him cup your cheek as he angled your head while he went in again. You couldn’t resist whimpering against his mouth when he caressed your cheeks with so much tenderness you could melt.
It wasn’t just a kiss— it was a release, a declaration, an unspoken promise. The world faded into the background, nothing seeming to matter more than the two of you right now. It only left the two of you, connected in a way that felt inevitable.
When you finally pulled apart, your breaths came in ragged gasps. Your forehead rested against his and your hands remained on his shoulder. You looked into his eyes. And you knew this was right, you’d never felt anything more intense than this. You needed Jungwon and the way he stared right back at you, you knew he needed you too.
“You drive me up a wall Jungwon. Don’t ever scare me like that again.” You whispered. Your voice breaking.
Jungwon chuckled softly as he ran his thumb over your cheek with love in his eyes. His own breathing uneven, “no promises.”
You stayed like that for a few moments. Wrapped up in each other. Just enjoying the other’s presence and touch. But you stepped back slowly, your hands trailing down Jungwon’s built chest before falling to your sides. Your gaze dropped to the object that stuck out of his pocket— the Phantom Codex, its dark, intricate surface glinting in the moonlight.
You slipped it out of his pocket. Staring at some stupid piece of tech that almost ruined your life and the lives of many more innocent people. The blue hue that it exuded along with the faint whisper of the symbols moving were almost trying to convince you to stop. But without hesitation you held it up in the air before slamming it against the asphalt with all your strength.
It was done. The Codex shattered into a million pieces, shards scattering across the sand. The sound echoed briefly before being swallowed by the night.
You straightened your posture as you turned to Jungwon. It was gone. Your sister was free and Mrs. Kwon’s evil plan had come to a halt. Your eyes were a mix of joy, fierceness, and determination.
“It’s over.” You stated simply.
Jungwon nodded, a small, proud smile tugging at his lips. He slipped his hand on your shoulder as he pulled you close once again. His lips brushed against the crown of your head. “It is.”
You had to gasp softly as the horizon began to blush with the first rays of dawn. Jungwon’s arm fell as he stared in awe at the world slowly emerging once again from the embrace of the night. The golden light stretched over the waves, illuminating the water in hues of pink and gold. The storm had long passed, and the gentle breeze carried the salty tang of the sea. The world was quiet, peaceful.
You felt the breeze nip at your skin as you hugged your arms around yourself. Jungwon noticed and he silently draped his jacket over your shoulders. You glanced at him, your lips curving into a small smile you didn’t bother hiding.
“You’re really laying it on thick aren’t you?” You teased, still pulling the jacket closer.
“Can you blame me?” Jungwon replied with a grin. He stepped closer to you standing by your side with his hands in his pocket like he wasn’t just making out with you a minute ago. “It’s not everyday I get to watch the sunrise with the love of my life who happens to be the woman who also saved the world.”
You tried to hide your blush but it crept up on you anyway. Your smile softened as your gaze returned to the horizon. The rising sun painting your face with warmth. You looked like you were glowing to Jungwon. But even with the warmth your thoughts were heavy. “We didn’t save the world- there is no saving it. We just stopped it from getting worse.”
“Same difference,” Jungwon said lightly. “And we’re not done yet.”
You nodded, your eyes scanning the open sea that stretched in front of you. “We’re on the run now. The agency won’t stop hunting us”
Jungwon smirked. Hid confident aura returning, “let them try princess. We’ve outsmarted Lloyd and destroyed the Codex. What’s a few corporate nerds?”
You rolled your eyes but you couldn’t suppress the laugh that escaped your lips. “You really don’t know how to take anything seriously, do you?”
“Not true,” he said, stepping even closer as his voice softened,. “I take us seriously.”
Your heart skipped a beat as you looked away desperately trying to hide the blush and idiotic grin that threatened to break. “Don’t get all sappy on me now.”
“Too late.” He grinned , reaching out to brush some hair out of your face. “____, we’re free now. No rules, no lies, no one pulling the strings but us. We can make a real difference, fight the way we want to fight.”
Your expression shifted, the weight of his words settling over you. For years, you had operated within a system that used people like tools. Simply sacrificing lives for power plays. Now, standing here with the man who had saved you from danger and yourself multiple times, you felt the stirrings of something your prior life hasn’t allowed: hope.
The sun crept higher. It’s light washing away the remnants of the night, and with it, the shadows of your past.
“If we are going into this chaotic world of crime, corrupt organizations, and horrible people. I’m glad you’re the one I’m doing this with.” Jungwon said suddenly.
You could hear your heart beating in your ears as you grinned like an idiot. “Good. Because you’re stuck with me Jungwon.” You wrapped your arms around his neck as you took him in again.
“No one I’d rather be with,” he whispered, his lips brushing against yours.
It was morning now. The sun had finally risen. The path ahead was clear despite the dangers that lurked at every turn. The rays washed both of you in warmth as your lips met for the nth time. Your life had only just begun, and it was going to be a wild ride.
#jungwon x reader#enhypen x reader#yang jungwon#jungwon scenarios#yang jungwon x reader#jungwon x you#jungwon x y/n#Jungwon smut#enha x reader#jungwon enhypen#Jake#heeseung#jay#Niki#jungwon fluff#enhypen au#enhypen oneshots#enhypen x y/n#enhypen x female reader#yang jungwon angst#Hoonjayke for inspo for the outline!!
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(1)Learn the rules before you break them + Gather proper references
(2) Understand what you want to break and how
(3) Can't do it? Find someone who can
(4) It's going to look really bad for a while

(5) Have fun with it!
(1) -Yes, I am that kind of artist. Yet, not in the conventional way. I encourage people to go in guns blazing when it comes to drawing something new, then coming out analyzing what they know, and what they need to learn more of right away.
-Here, I broke down the anatomical pieces of Nour and Narinder's face with the same labels so you guys can understand this weird invisible pattern that I follow in my work. Doing this with any animal you're attempting to draw greatly improves your line confidence when drawing different face shapes. Also understanding the biological function for why animals look a certain way helps you keep consistency.
(3) Time to throw any artistic guilt you have for heavily referencing people's art OUT THE WINDOW and start ANALYZING PEOPLE'S WORK YOU WANT TO BE LIKE✨ I've always done this, having a reference of someone else's amazing work right next to my own drawing so I can try and understand how they make their magic work! No shame, no embarrassment, nada. Pure, unadulterated will and spite that I would be just as good as the artist who made me so motivated and happy with their work! I couldn't figure out how to make Nour's face both sheep-like, and humanly expressive, so I looked at a LOT of Zootopia and old Disney art for help!
(2) With how I draw narilamb, I'm still working on it (as you can see) but I wanted to break Narinder's face to be fluffier and slimmer, while Nour's face would be shorter and flatter. If you look at it for too long, it's absolutely going to look weird, in the way that if you look at Anna from Frozen for too long she starts looking really weird. The anatomy isn't meant to be correct or consistent, it's meant to convey the emotion and energy I want out of the characters in that moment. If you're able to properly get that across, then you don't need to think about how broken something looks, as long as your eye is happy enough to trick your brain into thinking what you're seeing is canny.
(4) Yeah, I hate this part too. It's going to look like shit at first. I can't even look at my art from a few months ago when I was figuring out their designs... God, so fucking ugly. If it weren't for the shittiness of those drawings, I would have never gotten here! Wading through the "trust the process" stage always really sucks, but it's absolutely worth the relief of when you finally get something to look right.
(5) Art is work, yes. It's stressful, it's long, it's straining, its draining, it's exclaiming, blah blah blah. But, I try to keep my art FUN. If I find my artwork becoming slow as I depressingly drag my pen over my tablet, I'm failing. You MUST keep spirit and life in your work. The spirit of emptiness or the life of sadness can have a very meaningful place in art, but those can only exist with keeping work light, easy, and fun! If you're stressing how a specific thing looks or how you can't get something to look right no matter what, FUCK IT. Draw something to bring the flavor back in your work! I'm kind of rambling, but just, HAVE FUN!✨️ Be messy, scream, laugh, slash canvases, throw paint, smash sculptures, tear apart books, GO CRAZY

#liseysart#illustration#cotl fanart#cotl lamb#cotl narilamb#cotl narinder#cotl#cotl art#i really REALLY need to work on how i draw narinder haha!#when i feel stumped#i watch videos that make me laugh to bring my spirit back
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What to give a fuck about,while writing your first draft!
I`ve posted a list about things you don´t need to give a fuck about while writing your first draft. Here are things you NEED TO CARE about! (in my opinion)
Your Authentic Voice: Don't let the fear of judgment or comparison stifle your unique voice. I know it´s hard,but try to write from your heart, and don't worry about perfection in the first draft. Let your authenticity shine through your words.
Your Story, Your Way: It's your narrative, your world, and your characters. Don't let external expectations or trends dictate how your story should unfold. Write the story you want to tell.
Progress Over Perfection: Your first draft is not the final product; it's the raw material for your masterpiece. Give a fuck about making progress, not achieving perfection. Embrace imperfections and understand that editing comes later.
Consistency and Routine: Discipline matters. Make a commitment to your writing routine and stick to it.
Feedback and Growth: While it's essential to protect your creative space during the first draft, be open to constructive feedback later on. Giving a f*ck about growth means you're willing to learn from others and improve your work.
Self-Compassion: Mistakes, writer's block, and self-doubt are all part of the process. Give a f*ck about being kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up if the words don't flow perfectly every time. Keep pushing forward and remember that writing is a journey.
Remember, the first draft is your canvas, your playground. Don't bog yourself down with unnecessary worries.
#writing#writblr#writing advice#writers block#just writer things#creative writing#fanfiction writing#writing motivation#writeblr#original writing#writing reference#writing tips#writers on tumblr#writing resources#writing tip#writing encouragement#writing community#writers#world building#point of view#editing#character creation#dialogue#mine.#words#writingtips#writingadvice
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My sweet Bunny, spring is here and my heart is full! To celebrate the flowers blossoming and the birds chirping, here’s a forecast for the season. Each pile contains challenges and blessings that will mark this season of renewal, along with advice to guide you. Choose the amount of piles you feel called to! To pick a pile don’t overthink it; choose the one that draws you in the most while thinking about the reading’s intent. Only take what resonates!
Love, Matcha ♡
☆ masterlist
✿ spring glow up & spring fashion 2025

1 ₊˚.༄
You’ve just been through an intense transformation, Bunny! A part of your ego died and you’ll be mourning this loss of a part of yourself this spring. You might feel a sense of disconnect towards the old you, sometimes making it hard to express gratitude to the universe regarding where you’re from. You’ll be fighting the urge to completely disconnect from that past self and you’ll try to instead embrace who you used to be with love. Your intuition knows that advancing with an open heart full of light and gratitude is what brings your manifestations to life. You can love your old self and new self at the same time.
This spring, you’ll develop your discernment of negative energy. You’ll sense people’s negative aura way before they’re able to meaningfully enter your life. This will be creating a safe space around you, making sure that you’re community is people who have your back and believe in your success. You can’t be friends with everybody and that’s okay. It’s more than okay, it’s beautiful, and it’s a testament to your new higher vibrational self. You’ll love this new energy around you and it’s going to give you so much motivation to start the things you’ve been meaning to, to create, to make bold career moves, to learn!
Follow your passion with grace and feminine energy. Be disciplined, focus on improving your skills and on making that money! Don’t fall for the false obstacles your ego is creating, step out of that need to control everything. You don’t need to do things traditionally, you should simply do them and be consistent in the way that works for you! You’ve been through a tough period in the past where your manifestations didn’t seem to bear any fruits, this time is gone and your spirit sees that you’re finally ready to experience financial success. So, if there’s anything career-wise you’ve been meaning to do, now is a great time to go for it. If you’ve been meaning to travel, right now would be a good time to check for tickets even if it’s this summer so you’re sure you have a good deal, or you should start putting money aside for the trip.
2, 333, 444, 5, rose quartz, pearls
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2 ⊹˚˖ ☆
You’re unique, you’re not like the rest of the pack, a lone wolf. It’ll be challenging this spring to sense belonging to the people around you. In the past, their opinion used to mean something to you. Your peers used to doubt your skills and qualities, your ambitions. So why should you even make a place for them in your life anymore? You’re free of their judgment. You’ve probably cut off some people in the past months and you’re manifesting significant others who think like you, that have a life view as special as yours. A sense of disconnect toward your community will be tainting your day-to-day.
Your mind is sharp, Bunny. You’re analytical intelligence is blooming, and maturing. After everything you’ve been through, you’ll still have the ability to remain grounded. Impressive! Your aura exudes authority. The ones with bad intentions won’t have the guts to mess with you. The ones that remain close to you will see you as a guide. You’ll give good advice and earn the respect of people around you. You’ll finally be confident in who you are. You’re not looking for the praise of others because you’re the only judge of your character that matters, and right now, you love yourself! You’re gaining clarity when it comes to your journey to success and you’re taking concrete action toward your goals!
Keep fearlessly protecting your peace. Give love to the people who care about you unconditionally. You’re right, you don’t need everybody on your side, but the real ones deserve the appreciation. Follow your passions and don’t stop yourself from being a bit impulsive from time to time. Go out! Have fun! Keep seeing the potential you have and notice the potential of those around you. Collaboration may be coming later in your path so you don’t want to close yourself off too much. Be patient with others, especially if they’re ignorant. Don’t overwork yourself, make sure to practice self-care. Make an effort to regulate your emotions, and stop your anger spirals with positive affirmations, meditation or other healthy coping mechanisms. Be optimistic and creative! Do arts and crafts.
1, 3, 6, 9, wolf, tiger eye, blue agate
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3 ‧₊˚ ♡
You’ve been yearning for the arrival of spring, telling yourself that it’ll bring you everything you desire. You’ve had that feeling, that the manifestations are coming. There’s just one step missing. One last action you shall do to let all of it flow in. For some reason, you’ll feel a bit disconnected from your spiritual guides, which is not in your habits. You’re someone intuitive, however it seems like your angels want you to figure things out by yourself this time. They want you to realize that you’re the one who has the power and that your generous and caring energy is the key to your manifestations. It’ll be a challenge to recognize how much of a precious person you are. No, you’re not manipulating people into liking you. You’re just a good person. You can trust others, but most importantly you can trust yourself.
Someone is crushing on you and they’re preparing to make a bold move toward you. If it’s not romantic or friendly, it’s a job that absolutely wants you as an employee for a specific job. They’re yearning for your attention, you’re everything they’ve wished for and they’re willing to do grand gestures to get your attention. This will make you realize how desirable you are! It’ll strengthen your sense of self. We’ll see if you’re also into them, but it’ll for sure make you feel good about yourself. This person will remind you how smart, gorgeous and interesting you are. It’ll give you motivation!
Make sure to protect yourself. You’re so precious, Bunny. Make sure to take time to focus on your healing. Realize how much of a wonderful person you are, I would advise you to journal about the things about you you’re grateful for. If there are any flaws you have that impact your sense of self-worth, find the positive equivalent for it. For example, if you don’t like how emotional you are, realize how much of a compassionate person it makes you. Ask for help! Stop doing everything by yourself, you’re deserving of help. Prioritize yourself in your day-to-day, you don’t need to make everybody pleased with your decisions, it’s not your responsibility. Let yourself be passionate and sentimental. If you need to stay in and watch a romcom instead of being productive, go ahead! Go in places that intimidate you (like a fitness or art class, a cool bar, a protest etc) even if that means you’ll be discrete, at some point it’ll feel more comfortable.
111, 4, 8, peacock, deer, Archangel Raphael
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4 ₊˚. 𖤓
Internally, you’re sensing that big manifestations are coming for you soon. It’s overwhelming for you! It’s like you’ll be mourning your old life while still living it. You might isolate yourself and stay in your comfort bubble. The attention that comes with your success feels weird to you. You might also be reluctant to go party with your friends, you might not just be in a very social mood. You want to protect yourself from malevolent people. It’ll be challenging to let go of your winter lifestyle and start being more proactive. You’ll eventually get over those blockages pretty quickly though.
You’ll be following your deepest desires, Bunny! You do things with passion and authenticity. One day at a time, you’re progressing towards your goals. Even at the start of spring when you’ll have less motivation you’ll still be making some efforts. Things are flowing smoothly, you organize your time in a way that is not exhausting. You won’t overwork yourself but you still take the necessary steps. Way to go! The turtle versus the hare kind of vibe. You are motivated by a deep fiery sense of passion! You’re shining from your own authentic light! When you meet new people most of them will instantly like you this spring, they love how you don’t need anyone.
Continue shining bright. Don’t be scared to take leadership positions. Open your heart to others, forgive them for their shadows, and love them from afar even if you don’t want them in your life. Be the most authentically yourself you can show your unique qualities. Don’t pretend to be anyone you’re not, don’t lie about your needs and expectations. Be careful about leading people on, if you don’t want to hang out with someone find a way to say it politely don’t make them lose their time thinking you like them. Be willing to teach and help your peers. Keep informed about what’s going on around the world, understand how everybody has different privileges and be thankful about yours (if you’re reading this you’re privileged, even if you’re from a marginalized group!). Follow your intuition and don’t be so hard on yourself.
1, 222, 33, 5, red rose, lipstick, carnelian
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5 ⊹˚˖ ꩜
This spring, it can be challenging for you to focus on your manifestations and projects. You might be losing hope in the divine and it’s not encouraging you to pursue your spiritual practice or your craft. As your angels forgotten you? Will your blessings actually flow in? Those doubts are festering from your scattered mind. You might tend to prioritize more materialistic and superficial things. You’ll be tempted to spend money on things that won’t bring you long-term benefits. It’s also possible that you lend money to people and it takes them too long to give it back or they “forget”. You just want to feel good and to connect with others but sometimes you might have a misguided approach. Your need for romantic love and intimacy will be felt deeply.
People are so attracted to you, Bunny! You look so beautiful. The way you’ll be doing your makeup or styling yourself will truly be letting your inner beauty shine. Yup, looking gorgeous and expensive. Your peers want to spend more time with you and you’re attracting new friends. You’re attentive to other's needs and it makes them feel loved and heard. If you’ve had falling out with people, a lot of that is getting resolved. Others see you as an example of compassion and charisma. It won’t be difficult for you to find people with whom to hang out. This spring, you’ll receive unexpected help every time there’s a blockage! The areas of your life that have been especially complicated will get way better. There’s a masculine that is interested in you (romantic or platonic, leaning towards romantic for most) and they’re planning on entering your life, perhaps coming back into your life.
Spend time with friends and celebrate! Let your beauty shine and use your fast-paced creative mind for your projects! If you don’t have a specific project in mind, create one, because your mind is very fertile right now. It is time for you to sacrifice the negative people who don’t serve you to make more time for your closest friends and yourself. There’s something you know that you need to banish from your life but you’re procrastinating it… respect your intuition and follow its orders! I mean, you’ve been knowing how negative some coping mechanisms and people are for your development so just go ahead and cut it off! Be certain that every time you remove something negative from your life your positive self will attract something better instead. Understand that removing bad friends from your life is not making you disloyal, it’s making you loyal to yourself.
11, 3, 7, 8, hummingbird, owl, sacred heart
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6 ‧₊˚ ★
There’s someone from your past coming back and asking for your attention and to come back into your life. It may be a romantic ex or an ex-bff. They’re trying to lure you in by making you remember the beautiful memories you made together. Will you give them back their spot in your life? Do they fit in your journey? You’ll be reminiscing about the karmic lessons this person brought you but not letting them in before making your decision. It seems like they’re someone who is hindering your fulfillment… They could be very tempting but I feel like you’ll run away far away from them and they leave your life as fast as they’ve returned. This whole thing will make you reconnect with your past in an uncomfortable and vulnerable way.
You might be a spring baby, Bunny or you’ll embody the qualities of spring. There’s a level up in your career, you might be getting a new job that pays better, a very good internship or you’re graduating. You’re saying bye to something and it feels good, it’s not bittersweet at all! You are more connected to your higher self and the divine than you’ve ever been! Your third eye and crown chakra are healed. You’re stepping up and working on things you had been procrastinating in the past. It’s mostly about practical stuff, like painting your room the colour you’ve been wanting it to be for a while or fixing your favourite coat’s buttons. Also, people feel intuitively drawn to you and compliment you because of your captivating spiritual aura.
Keep doing the things that feed your soul. Work hard, with love. Be of service to your community. Do things for the highest good instead of your own sake. Accept your flaws and accept that mistakes are inevitable. Understand that you have full control over your life and that you do not have to let anybody in if you don’t want to. Express your gratitude to the ones around you, not only your gratitude towards them, talk about the things you’re grateful about in general. Be confident in taking career moves, you’ll be especially lucky concerning that aspect. In times of doubt, meditate on your heart’s deepest desires. Speak up about your opinion and talk to new people!
1, 12, 14, 9, amazonite, bee
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7 ₊˚. ✿
You have everything you need to get to where you want to go but your fear of being an outcast is hindering your journey towards your full potential. You are idealizing people thinking others had it easier and that they were good at things naturally. You might be scared to be a beginner at something because you feel like you should instantly be good at it for it to be worth it. This spring you might be learning something new and it’s hard on your ego. You also might be new in a group of friends or at your job and it’s annoying you to be the newbie. You might give too much value to appearances and trends at the moment. There’s a lot of mystery ahead for you and it can be overwhelming at times, so I see you focusing on material earthy things to ground yourself.
You’ll be very attractive this spring, you’ll stand out from your peers when it comes to appearances. The way you style yourself is flamboyant, your hair is shiny. Heads are turning, Bunny! You glowed up and you feel good in your new skin. Recently, you’ve cut off jealous people and this spring you won’t be paying them any mind. They’re not taking any of your energy and it feels good. You genuinely don’t care about the people that wish you ill and it’s refreshing. You’re done lying to yourself about relationships, you spot the red flags and leave as soon as you do. If you’ve been working with Aphrodite, those blessings are from her.
This spring you should focus on being especially observant of your surroundings. You might hear things that will bring you to have an idea that could change your life and be very well-received! Meditate. Stand still. Contemplate your mind and let go of limiting beliefs. Aspire to be in the spotlight! Visualize your manifestations. Things are going to go fast for you this summer so spring is the time to mourn your old life before you step up in the star energy!
1111, 22, 3, 5, air, birds, Aries, phoenix, fairies
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8 ⊹˚˖ ��
You’ll feel a burning passion and drive that will be hard to restrain. You had enough of winter’s slow energy and now you’ll be restless. This intensity is making you impulsive and it’ll be challenging to calm down and assess all the pieces of information before taking bold action. When you’re not careful, your actions are going to bring the opposite of what you wanted to manifest. You might occasionally attract people that you don’t actually like because the image you’re accidentally projecting is not really you, it’s a hyper and agitated version of you. Your confidence is a beautiful quality, don’t get me wrong Bunny but this spring it could occasionally be misplaced. Those are old patterns that you’ll grow out of.
This spring you are exuding confidence and power, Bunny! You’ll receive a lot of spiritual downloads due to your openness. You’ll have some fun adventures this spring, you might go to cool DJ sets, do nature activities or travel. Even experiences that can be considered stressful and negative will be fun to you because of your mindset! For Example, if you’re in customer service and an ignorant client starts screaming at you for no reason you’ll be thinking about how funny that interaction is. You’ll meet a lot of interesting people and they will see you as someone loyal and loving that they would want to be friends with. Some of your peers may idolize you and people are crushing on you. You may get random date invites at night. Your community is hyping you up! You’ll have a good work-life balance and in general, your projects are flourishing because of the amount of care and dedication you put into them.
You have some unhealed trauma you need to address as soon as possible. Wounds from your childhood created a negative self-concept voice in your head that is urging you to always do more and more urgently. Be more gentle and loving towards yourself. Try to focus on things in a most global sense, you’re too fixated on your next step, take time to appreciate everything you’ve accomplished. Think about how much your inner child is proud of you. Spend time with kids if possible to help heal those childhood wounds. Be careful about being too judgmental of yourself and others. Live in the moment instead, don’t obsess with the future. Recognize what things your heart truly wants versus the things you feel like you should have. Meditate about your values. Practice self-care, if you have the means give yourself a gift of something you’ve been truly wanting for a long time and that is going to be worth it in the long run.
10, 5, 6, tiger, lily flower, pyrite
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9 ‧₊˚ ✸
You feel like the work you’re doing doesn’t really matter. You have no hope in the system and you’re starting to feel like humanity is doomed. I see that the current political state of the world might be difficult for you, Bunny. It’s impacting your mental health, you wish you could do something useful for your community, and for the earth in general. You’re being hard on yourself for things that are totally out of your control. You’re trying your best to remain faithful in spirit but it’s a tough time for you and the world. You’re trying to find balance when it comes to updating yourself on world news since it impacts your everyday mood this much.
You’re letting go of a more naive side of yourself. You’ve seen a lot and been through a lot so now you see through lies easily. You’ve survived so many tough times and it helped you become stronger. Now you have the discernment to evaluate in which moments it’s worth it to be vulnerable with people. You’re getting your good karma, things that have been taken from you will come back in an upgraded form. The ones that did you dirty will be dealt with by the universe. You’ll have unexpected deep and interesting conversations with strangers. Because of your ethics, you sometimes felt like you weren’t getting as much as the people who were willing to do unethical things. This spring, you’ll realize that nice guys don’t finish last. There might be a relationship in your life that is cleansing and healing for you, someone that makes you feel like you’re not bearing the whole world on your shoulders. If you don’t have someone like that in your life at the moment, they’ll come into your life this spring.
Make sure to directly thank the people who help you in your day-to-day. Start new projects where you hold the leadership position. Don’t shy away from giving compliments and gifts to your significant other. Have faith in the people around you. Invest in your relationships. Help others. Try collaborating on projects with others instead of doing it all by yourself, even if you would be capable of doing it alone! Do not force yourself to fit into the gender construct. Break the rules if they’re not for the highest good (as long as it’s safe), even if you’re the one that determined those restrictions for yourself. Write all of your creative ideas, they’ll bring abundance in the future, you’ll come up with an idea that could make you rich in the long term.
2, 4, 888, unicorn, pomegranate, howlite
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decks used for this reading : Animaux totems by Else Oreve & Pricilla Moore, oracle of heaven and hell by Travis McHenry, mystical wisdom by Gaye Guthrie, l’oracle du chemin spirituel by Valérie Defour & Valérie Saussez, les vampires oracle by Lucy Cavendish, fairy tarot cards by Radleigh Valentine
★ photo credits go to their rightful owner ★
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