#not the age discourse... can we all die

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

it has gotten a lot better on tumblr, i should've specified i was talking about tiktok and twitter where they completely misunderstand the characters and recycle the same stupid discourse for years on end

(apparently the "is the cast minors?" discourse is making the rounds on there for the umpteenth time)

YEAH IVE HEARD HORROR STORIES FROM TIKTOK AND TWITTER. Its a nightmare. I stopped use tiktok long before I got into v3 but even before twitter was shot to death and became X I was super careful to limit my fandom interactions on there. Truly wastelands of media illiteracy

[doberbutts]

With this latest round of discourse being "trans men shouldn't complain about being kicked out of women's spaces", I felt the urge to write up a relatively long post regarding the topic, as I feel it is a long tangled mess and involves a significant amount of people simply talking past each other.

To begin, what is a woman's space? I ask this, because "women's spaces" often fall under one of three categories: medical services, social services, and social gatherings. Of the three, trans men need access to nearly everything if not everything included within "medical services" and "social services". These things often need to be considered co-ed anyway, but are still considered "for women" and often are labeled things like "women's health" or "women's defense". Social gatherings- things such as book clubs, concerts, festivals, and other similar outings- can have a nuanced and complicated history when it comes to the inclusion, or exclusion, of trans men.

As an example- I am a binary, gay trans man who has not yet been sterilized. If I become pregnant and need to seek out social services, I must do so via my provider's "Women and Babies" department. I am neither of those things, and yet regardless of whether I am completing or terminating the pregnancy, I must label myself a woman in order to receive care. If I wish to have a pap smear, receive birth control, or investigate my chances of ovarian and cervical cancer, I must do so via the "Women's Health Clinic". I am not a woman, but I must label myself as one in order to discuss sterilization options. Many trans men who have had their gender markers changed prior to sterilization have reported difficulty even booking an appointment, as well as difficulty convincing their insurance to pay for this appointment due to a discrepancy with gender markers vs gendered care. Many have discussed the realities of being a pregnant man, whether they remained pregnant until their child was born, or whether they terminated said pregnancy with an abortion.

It should come as no surprise that the statistics for trans men receiving quality gynecological care are abysmal. It should be equally unsurprising to hear how many trans men have died from botched abortions, untreated miscarriages, infections and cancers of the uterus and cervix and ovaries, and complications during pregnancy or birth. We belong in this space, despite it being labeled "for women", and the only thing pushing us out has done is quite literally what's been killing us.

This is, of course, not even taking into account the numbers of trans men who have been forced to become pregnant via their husbands or families as a means to detransition them, and those who have become pregnant as a result of corrective rape. There is a saying among trans men of my age- it isn't "we all know a guy this has happened to", it's "which of us haven't experienced this? who among us doesn't fear this? who will it happen to next?"

Which brings me to my next point: women's social services. As with women's medical care, nearly everything labeled "for women" as a social service must be inclusive to trans men. Shelters for domestic violence survivors, rape crisis centers, self defense classes, family planning, these are all things that honestly should already be co-ed. But, many times, they are exclusively targeted towards women. I understand why, I do. But with trans men being statistically more likely than cis women to experience the need for these services, it seems a cruelty to close their doors to a vulnerable demographic reaching out for help.

Where should trans men in crisis go? Shutting the door to us without addressing the reason we need to access these resources gives us a single ultimatum: detransition, or die. Go back to being a woman, or die knowing the likelihood that a woman's name will adorn your headstone, and "daughter, wife, mother" will be said in your obituary. Much like the medical services, this incomplete answer has lead many trans men to their deaths. Whether by their own hands, or by their attackers'.

But there are other social services out there that perhaps are not as dire. Women's scholarships, colleges, all girls schools. Girl Scouts, women's sport leagues, gym memberships. Trans men don't need access to these, right?

Well... is the trans man in question out? Has he been living as a man, or is he still closeted? Is it safe for him to come out? Does he pass, or has he just bought his first binder and given himself his first buzz cut? Is he living under the control of his parents, or is he able to freely decide for himself the type of person he'd like to be and the type of life he'd like to live?

You see, I was a Girl Scout once. And, if we are to believe to our core that trans men are men even before they know the words "transgender", this means I was a boy in a girl's space. I didn't know that being transgender was an option for me at the point where my troop disbanded, and another leader to replace the first within my local area was not found until after I had aged out.

But also... I was in 7th grade when my troop disbanded. Two years later, I would learn the word "transgender", and suddenly everything would make sense. Two years later, I would come out to my parents and my sisters. To put this into perspective, I graduated high school in 2010. The Boy Scouts officially allowed cisgender girls and transgender people of all genders to join all programs in 2019.

I was not expelled from my Girl Scout troop. My leader simply stopped showing up to meetings, and my troop disbanded to go our separate ways when leadership could not find someone quickly enough to replace her. But... if this had not happened, I would have been a recently out transgender boy in a girl's social service, still wearing push up bras and frilly shirts because that's all my parents would buy me until I became an adult and moved out and had a job with my own money to re-purchase myself a wardrobe. Indistinguishable from any of the others, outside of what went on inside my own mind.

I would not have been accepted into the Boy Scouts, if Girl Scouts had been taken from me as abruptly as it was from a different transgender boy in the same state I was born and raised. Which would have left me with... nothing. Neither. And the only reason I even joined the Girl Scouts was because I had wanted to join the Boy Scouts and the local troop had refused to allow me, because they had labeled me a girl.

I don't believe I'm the one that coined Schrodinger's Gender, but I do reference it often. In this situation, one is both a boy when it hurts, and a girl when it hurts. Even if that gender label changes by the second, the point is to use your gender and your assigned sex to hurt you.

But then, why do these services even have to be gendered to begin with? After all, Boy Scouts just updated to be The Scouts, and has removed (on paper) the insistence on gendering.

Well... I certainly agree that the majority of gendering these services is at this point a concept that needs to be reformed, but I'm unconvinced that we will be able to completely integrate without addressing the reason they were segregated by gender in the first place.

Women's gym memberships are gender segregated for two reasons. Women and girls- and anyone labeled as women and girls, regardless of true identity- are frequently not afforded the same access to resources as cisgender men and boys. Women and girls- and anyone labeled such- are frequently at high risk of predatory sexual behavior and physical violence. Both of these problems are symptoms of a larger system of misogyny at play, and both of these problems directly affect trans men especially those who have not transitioned in a way that makes them pass for cis men.

Regardless of the truth of my identity, the reality is that I was seen as and treated as a girl when it came to physical fitness, and thus barred from the same activities freely offered to the boys. Regardless of the truth of my identity, I have experienced predatory sexual behavior from cis men as young as 8 or 9 years old, continuing past when I came out and began to transition socially.

If the problem is not addressed, cis women cannot re-integrate with cis men. But, additionally, if the problem is not addressed, the choice still remains clear for trans men. Detransition, stay closeted, or go without.

A common complaint of trans men is the invisibility and erasure our demographic faces. It should be easy to see why this happens. The problem of a misogynistic society is one that continues to this day, and without addressing the problem we cannot hope for success in creating a more inclusive space. At the same time, trans men are being pushed out and isolated as they realize they must make a choice.

As for social gatherings, such as a woman's retreat or a woman's music festival? Of course, it may sound odd to say that a trans man should feel welcome there. But the truth of the matter is the majority of the trans men asking for the ability to stay are trans men who have been within that space for years already, prior to coming out, prior to realizing some things about their genders, prior to taking their first steps as men.

I'm pretty good friends with an older butch who told me that I am the first person they ever told that they were a nonbinary man. This person is in their 50s. They're married. But the wife doesn't like it, and they love their wife too much to cause friction in the relationship, so they keep it to themselves, and they keep quiet, and they don't say anything about being transgender, but in their head they aren't a woman. This person is not a woman, by their own insistence. Should this person be forcibly ejected from their local lesbian community, which they and the wife helped form decades ago? Should they divorce their wife, since that would make her not a lesbian anymore?

What harm is it, truly, to allow this person to stay? Social isolation kills people. The trans man suicide statistics are just as abysmal as any of the others I've mentioned here. Forcing someone to burn 20, 30, 40 years of their lives and their friends and their achievements because they are finally living as themselves is a deeply hurtful and isolating experience.

The majority of trans men asking to be included in these spaces are not trans men like me- who never really jived with the idea of womanhood and distanced ourselves as much as possible the moment we saw the opportunity. They are men like my friend, often existing outside of the binary, often with a deep love and appreciation for womanhood despite realizing that perhaps the label does not fit them as well as they once thought. They often have many years of connection, entire lives spent intwined in these spaces.

What good does it do to chase them out? What harm does it to do let them stay?

[lover-of-mine]

i haven’t been on in ages and now there’s all this discourse and you usually know things about everything

so what the hell is going on with 911????

Okay so, the 8b opened with buddie being a romcom intertwined with a criminal minds episode where Maddie and Athena try to catch a serial killer and Maddie tells them to kill themselves then gets kidnapped by them, she gets her throat slashed trying to escape, because Chimney shows up where she's being held, he doesn't know and almost gets killed himself, don't worry though, she survives and saves Chimney's life with a hammer, did I mention she's pregnant? She's pregnant, doesn't miscarry. It's a boy. Hurray. Eddie moves to Texas. Buddie goodbye in the rain sponsored by U-Haul.

Bobby's mother shows up, she runs a cult being a faith healer. She's dying of cancer though, Bobby then forgives her for leaving him alone with his alcoholic father and leaving him to become a child alcoholic himself. While we are figuring that out, Eddie isn't on the episode but Buck says his name 15 times, he hooks up with Tommy, then Tommy tries to get back together but he calls Eddie the competition, Buck snaps and says he doesn't want to fuck everyone he has feelings for and doesn't have feelings for everyone he fucks, then he escalates to somehow saying Tommy was accusing him of being hopelessly pining for Eddie. Oh, all this happens while Buck moves to Eddie's house, yes, Tommy hooks up with Buck on Eddie's house, fully aware it's Eddie's house then wakes up in the morning, buys champagne and about 100 dollars worth of groceries, because the competition is gone. It didn't go the way he was hoping.

Then we finally see Eddie in Texas, no one cares about what sent Chris to Texas anymore, there isn't an opening at the firehouse, Eddie doesn't have a job, so he sells the truck, becomes an Uber in a 8 minutes long montage of random people in his car, patches things up with Chris after Chris and one of his friends get him as their driver. The episode has product placement for Uber, Prius, Playstation, and m&ms. In the meantime Maddie loses her voice in some fear reaction to getting back to the job, she's fine though.

Four buddie facetime calls later, Eddie's parents are being demons, Chris throws up at his chess tournament, Eddie "dad's up" and takes Chris back. We find out he did ballroom dancing. Not relevant, just putting it out there. He didn't yell at his mother but he did leave his father in a city 6 hours away, you win some, you lose some. While this was happening in LA everyone but Athena forgets Hen's birthday and they keep running into the same guy. The guy hijacks a bus, accidentally stabs someone, Hen ends up hostage, the guy is actually quite nice, he gets Hen a gift. This episode is actually added at the last minute, allegedly finished about 7 days before it was set to air.

Maddie gets a failed gender reveal party. They answer to a pileup, Ravi doesn't check the backseat, there's a kid trapped, Bobby goes to get the kid, the car explodes, Bobby's survives, Ravi wants to quit, Buck doesn't let him, they answer to an explosion at a lab that researches infectious diseases. Crazy scientist creates a super virus to sell the cure for the pandemic she will start because she really really really wants a Nobel Prize. There's a second explosion, Buck is locked out of the lab. Chim is infected, Hen has a collapsed lung, Bobby does surgery. Their PPE is their normal gear and duct tape. They're diy-ing treatments as Chimney is dying on the phone with Maddie. They find out the cure is in the lab after the military decides they all can die, Ravi, they call him Rav now, goes to get it, they all get threatened with terrorism charges. The cure isn't there. Everything is lit in the bluest light ever created by men. Athena and Buck go after the cure themselves, they find it, the cure was in a bedazzled Stanley cup she stole from another researcher, this is not relevant, I just like saying it. But then the army and the fbi find them, because every law enforcement agency is in the case, they distract them, with a helicopter chase, sounds cool but it was really boring, the showrunner wanted it to be 4 minutes long, had to be stopped, Athena gets the cure to the lab. Chimney is cured. We find out Bobby is infected. He got infected saving Ravi. There's no more cure. Bobby is dead. All charges get dropped because they won't risk people finding out that there was almost an outbreak in LA. We don't see a body though. Eddie is not there.

But a bunch of stuff about this episode leaks beforehand, including Bobby's funeral procession, a script that shows his burial and resurrection in the form of a 911 call where he says he's being buried alive, and a video of Peter on set in uniform with everyone at the station post filming everything for his death. Everything about this decision is confusing. The episode is rated 4 on imdb. Kenny is crying in interviews, Peter says he doesn't want to leave, Angela says there's no Athena without Bobby. Oliver is being cryptic on Instagram posting and deleting pictures of Brad who would've died in his show but didn't, and referencing the Wrath of Khan in his goodbye post, Ryan is sharing edits of Bobby with a pink bow, Aisha shares a goodbye post with an emotional caption, deletes it and reuploads with a more vague one. A Disney executive goes on record about how they didn't want or approve of this death. Oh, while they were filming the procession there was an alleged fight about tomatoes between the Ryan and Lou. Stills from 813 were also deleted because there are lines of white powder next to Kenny, the actual scene might've been edited to cut that out too.

Anyway, there's a 2 week hiatus, nothing makes sense. Everyone is wondering if Bobby is dead for real. No promotion for the episode, jounalists get screeners day of, no interviews. 816 airs. It's actually about Athena helping a mother who thinks her dead son was kidnapped and his death was a coverup. Athena goes full Athena, exhumes the body, there is no body, all signs point to the mother was right, plot twist, the mother was wrong. Lesson to accept loss or something. Lowkey feels like the show is mocking us. Athena didn't want to choose where to bury Bobby, the military was holding up his body, Gerrard is back, Chim is firmly in the anger stage. Eddie is serving after having 50 seconds of screentime total in the past 3 episodes. Buck is somehow the stable one. No eulogies. The funeral is actually the last 5 minutes of the episode. Athena sends Bobby to Minnesota to be buried with his first wife and kids. No one but her and the kids are there. The scene is somehow the same from the leaked script. We brace ourselves for Bobby to rise from the dead. He doesn't. The episode ends. The water is on fire in the promo for 817. The episode is rated 2.2 on imdb. No one is happy. Even the Facebook wine moms are pissed and saying they'll never watch the show again.

And that's what you missed on Glee.

[pb-n-jen]

THE yellowjackets cast panel debrief

okay, guys, so I JUST got home, here's everything I can remember from the panel! I have a few videos too, but I'll try and post those tomorrow bc I have to lock in for my final after this ☹️

first of all they all looked BEAUTIFUL and all three of them were in like six inch heels like bad bitches

the mod asked a bunch of questions about how they got cast in the first place etc. which was cute

sammi talked abt how she was originally called in for nat and that she wore black lipstick to the audition LOL

she ended this conversation by saying 'anyways i love you sophie thatcher' .... don't we all

melanie is SO sweet every time they would talk abt all the crazy shit shauna's been doing in the adult tl there would be a pause and we'd all look at melanie and she'd be sitting there like ���

they were talking about the funerals/death parties for the teen tl and the mod asked melanie and christina if they did anything like that for the adult tl deaths and they were talking about how they literally have to film scenes sometimes and then fly home to their kids and melanie was like 'yeah one time i literally got onto the plane with fake blood still on my face'

basically steven kreuger is everyone's fav cast member bc when they got ask whose death shocked them the most/they were saddest about they all said him 😭

they also hope he'll come back to haunt someone next season (nat or misty) so they can have more scenes with him

per the above point melanie said that alexa told her that mari was pit girl when they were walking in to sammi's baby shower so she just walked into the shower already sobbing

everyone joked that javi would've had to die at some point bc luciano grew up rlly fast and he wouldn't have looked like he was aging at the right rate LMAO

sammi is all in on all the fan theories and constantly reading reddit, meanwhile christina's google account is set to the wrong language and sophie nelisse sends melanie tik toks all the time but melanie doesn't know how to open them

when asked who they thought the final one standing would be they said they hoped it was more than one but if it's anyone they joked it was gonna be walter

talked a LOT about the details of the set and the outfits, sammi drew attention to the fact that even though the huts looked really advanced the showrunners put a lot of effort into making sure everything was plausible. like the wire holding much of the huts together is from the plane's electronics, etc.

she talked about how one of her wilderness outfits (i think for when they ate mari or during the hunt) was sewn out of the seats from the plane

the mod asked whether they thought the teens or adults were more scary and sammi brought up a rlly interesting point (aided by christina) that the teens generally seem 'scarier' because in the wilderness they have literally nothing to lose. but by the end of s3 they've once again lost everything (shauna losing jeff and callie, misty being all alone, tai losing van) that now they're starting to become more and more similar

and now, my favorite parts of the panel (aka mistynatgate)

so, the whole conversation begins with the final girl convo i previously mentioned and the mod asks them all if they've seen the discourse online about it and it devolved into a conversation about fan theories and reddit etc.

mod asks sammi what her favorite fan theory she's seen is after sammi mentions being chronically online and she goes "wow that's such a tough question...." and then thinks for a little bit and comes up with "well, i don't know but i really enjoy all the shipping and how people ship the characters together"

at this point melanie and christina are looking at sammi like girl fym and so sammi is like "yeah like saying how certain characters are in love and making edits of them and stuff" and then UNPROMPTED by the crowd or anyone:

sammi goes: "like mistynat!"

at this point everyone in the crowd loses their shit and christina is like wait HUH

and she goes "wait but nat is so mean to misty"

and they crowd is like playfully arguing and sammi goes "oh i have an edit i need to show you later then 😏"

HUH?? HUH?? TEARS IN MY MISTYNAT EYES

also other mistynat crumbs include: sammi mentioning sophie thatcher ANY chance she gets, telling the mod the thing she's most excited for in s4 is to see what happens to nat post-crash, and christina telling the mod that out of everyone she wants nat to come back and haunt misty because she wants to get "heckled by juliette"

whole room constantly losing it over this

a couple other cute things:

sammi told everyone the teen cast constantly sends edits and tik toks to each other and that their groupchat is called 'nasty 90s'

nuha (krystal) and nia (akilah) are flying down to cali next week and they're going on a road trip with sammi! 🥹

butcherqueen crumbs when mod asked melanie who she'd most want to be haunted by and she answered "simone. obviously, because....obviously" and then subsequently ranted about how courtney was the most gorgeous person to ever walk the earth

sammi getting emotional talking about alexa/mari dying and how sad she's going to be when she's not on set next season and subsequently going "well, no, she'll be there" like SAMMI??? WHAT DO YOU KNOW GIRL??

melanie telling a story about how they accidentally found out melissa survived to the adult tl because when they filmed the bar scene after nat's funeral the call sheet said 'adult melissa double' bc of the bathroom scene but the showrunners hadn't told them yet

and, finally: SOPHIE T SENDS THE NAT IMPRESSION TIK TOKS TO SAMMI ALL THE TIME 😭

anyway guys best 69 bucks i've ever spent and i'm never gonna stop thinking about this ok bye!

[david-talks-sw]

Crazy to me that this of all things is what makes me type out a post when I have so many in drafts just waiting to be completed but hey. Gotta vent. Here goes.

Everyone was commenting in bad faith, in the comments and X is where intelligent discourse goes to perish, so taking this seriously (or as seriously as a "who would win" debate can allow):

This could go either way!

On the one hand, yes, Maul is the more skilled fighter.

Sure, technique-wise, Qimir is very skilled... but he fights like "a mean Jedi who cheats in a fight."

Maul-- *Darth Maul fights like a Sith Lord. He's been trained the old fashioned Sith way from a very early age.

From a narrative POV too, this tracks.

Qimir's master is Plagueis, essentially a Sith whose interest and focus is in science and the occult. He taught Sidious just enough for the latter to master the seven forms, then went back to his research.

Sidious, on the other hand, was a political animal who NEEDED a more fighting-savvy apprentice to do the dirty work in the shadows, and thus molded Maul to be such a weapon.

And you see this too in how either fighter maintains control of a duel.

I'd rank Sol and Qui-Gon at a comparable level.

We see that when Sol gets either angry OR focused, Qimir finds himself at a disadvantage and begins to falter, either retreating or drastically changing tactics. Qimir loses both those fights.

Compare with how Maul handled Qui-Gon in either of those states. He lets Qui-Gon rush at him, then resorts to dirty tricks when Qui-Gon is in a more defensive state. That's how a Sith does it. That's why Maul wins.

HOWEVER! Maul has a flaw that he never, ever outgrows.

In a situation where he's superior, he gets arrogant. He gets cocky. He takes his sweet time to gloat and do the flips and whirl the saber and taunt his prey.

It's why Obi-Wan almost always beats him. It's why Ahsoka, an inferior fighter, beats him too. It's why he didn't see Sidious coming.

Like a true Sith, Maul's overconfidence is his weakness.

You know who doesn't have that weakness?

The guy who does have Jedi training. Who put in the work and already outgrew his own ego and arrogance.

Friggin' Qimir.

Who is seen pulling off no-bullshit kill after no-bullshit kill. Screw the pageantry, screw a clean win.

Padawan breaks his mask? Stabbed in the heart.

Jedi attacks him by surprise? Breaks his neck.

Multiple Jedi attack him? Trakata moves left and right until they're all dead.

So Qimir is a more calculating and focused fighter.

Which means that what a duel between the two comes down to is external circumstances. Their levels aren't so distant that Maul would blitz the Stranger, this would be a long duel.

That said, Qimir is more likely to die in the heat of battle.

But if Maul merely wounds him? Then 9 times out of 10 he'll hang around and gloat, which is something Qimir would capitalize on to deliver a killing blow.

Procrastination over, venting complete.

[maenefa]

This kind of Denethor discourse is so frustrating to me that I am literally pacing back and forth like a panther in a zoo enclosure. Ugggggggghhhhh

A lot of people will tell you that the moral of The Lord of the Rings is “never lose hope,” and that Denethor is bad because he loses hope.

Please read THIS and THIS and especially THIS, which is one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking meditations on LotR you’ll ever read. Tolkien’s ideas about hope are so much more radical than “hope good despair bad.”

Denethor—Tolkien’s Denethor, not Peter Jackson’s Denethor—is unsettling because he tries to hope, but his hope isn’t strong enough to save him. Here are his thoughts on hope, just a few days before his death:

The time will not be long. In what is left, let all who fight the Enemy in their fashion be at one, and keep hope while they may, and after hope still the hardihood to die free.

Denethor has a more “realist” worldview than Gandalf or Faramir, but he’s not a nihilist. He’s still hanging onto hope even though he’s grieving Boromir and he’s positive that Frodo is going to be captured by Sauron. He only breaks when Faramir is mortally wounded and he sees the black ships in the palantir. And I don’t mean he gives up, I mean his mind snaps:

And as [Pippin] watched, it seemed to him that Denethor grew old before his eyes, as if something had snapped in his proud will, and his stern mind was overthrown.

Tolkien repeatedly uses language like “madness,” “madman,” “he is not himself” and “his mind was overthrown.” It’s not subtle!

Denethor is having a psychotic episode. His culpability is reduced, either partially or totally; we can’t know for certain. But I don’t think that everything he says and does in his last moments is “the real Denethor.”

We can do our best and try to have hope, but sometimes life crushes us. How are we supposed to live with the knowledge that this can happen?

Tolkien was haunted by the idea of heroes who fail, heroes who are crushed by their burdens:

Frodo indeed 'failed' as a hero, as conceived by simple minds: he did not endure to the end; he gave in, ratted. (Letter 246)

….I think it can be observed in history and experience that some individuals seem to be placed in 'sacrificial' positions: situations or tasks that for perfection of solution demand powers beyond their utmost limits, even beyond all possible limits for an incarnate creature in a physical world – in which a body may be destroyed, or so maimed that it affects the mind and will. Judgement upon any such case should then depend on the motives and disposition with which he started out, and should weigh his actions against the utmost possibility of his powers, all along the road to whatever proved the breaking-point. (Letter 246)

Tolkien himself tended to judge Denethor harshly, but the character fits very well into the same template as Frodo: a “sacrificial” person who is pushed beyond his limits. The palantir aged him and weakened his mental health, but what truly pushed him over the edge was the wounding of Faramir: Tolkien says that Denethor “maintained the integrity of his personality until the final blow of the (apparently) mortal wound of his only surviving son.”

It’s easy to judge Denethor for using the palantir (although Tolkien said that he had the right to use it and Gandalf admitted that the palantir’s knowledge had often proved useful!) but what should Denethor have done differently regarding sending Faramir into battle? We know that the defense of Osgiliath was necessary because Tolkien had the Rohirrim arrive at the exact moment the Witch King is about to ride through the gate of Minas Tirith. If Faramir hadn’t delayed Mordor’s army, the Rohirrim would have showed up to a conquered city.

Denethor believed that it was necessary to send Faramir to Osgiliath… and he was right! But the pain of being responsible for Faramir’s death was too great for him to bear. You can say that his craving for information killed him, but it’s just as accurate to say that his love for Faramir killed him.

Gandalf tells Denethor’s servants that they were “caught in a net of warring duties,” and this is also true of Denethor. His duty as a father conflicts with his duty as the leader of Gondor, and the strain destroys him.

It may be true that Denethor’s need for control is a character flaw, but I wonder about his final use of the palantir. His son appears to be dying: why does he leave his side to go look in the palantir? I actually think this was a hopeful act: Denethor was hoping to see the Rohirrim, or some kind of good news about the war, some indication that Faramir’s death would not be in vain. But the palantir shows him that he sent his son to die for nothing.

It’s the tragedy of Denethor lamenting “I sent my son forth, unthanked, unblessed, out into needless peril” and dying before he can learn that the battle wasn’t needless… you can’t reduce this tragedy to a morality play!

Okay, I can’t deny that the palantir is a very topical analogy for the internet/smartphones/the tyranny of “data” in general.

But Denethor is so much more than a blackpilled internet doomer, and I will defend him forever.

[simpforsolas]

As I continue to progress through the games on my replay leading up to Dragon Age: The Veilguard's release, the more I'm reflecting upon the heart of the series. As an RPG, the purpose has always been to create a dynamic game that responds to our choices, and part of that is to create a believable world that's real enough that there are multiple ways you can play the game. No ultimate "right" answer or "wrong" answer. Even if there are perspectives you disagree with, you can understand why characters may hold different opinions from you if you think about why they think the way they do.

With all these thoughts spinning around in my mind, I began my DAI replay and got a dialogue with Solas that I think gets right to the heart of the entire series:

Inquisitor: I've heard the stories [about Ostagar]. It'd be interesting to hear what it was really like. Solas: That's just it. In the fade I see reflections created by the spirits who react to the emotions of the warriors. One moment, I see heroic wardens lighting the fire and a power-mad villain sneering as he lets King Cailan fall. The next, I see and army overwhelmed and a veteran commander refusing to let more soldiers die in a lost cause. Inquisitor: And you can't tell which is real. Solas: It is the fade. They are all real.

This is it, people! This is what Dragon Age is all about! This is why we have characters who some people love and some people hate, why no one is perfect. This is why there's so much discourse about the game. Dragon Age is all about different people reacting to an imperfect world and understanding why they act the way they do. Especially in recent times, writers often fall into a trap of not wanting their characters to be problematic in any way that it can take the life out of them and leave them feeling stale. But Dragon Age does not do that. It fully commits to its characters, for better or for worse, allowing their pasts and perspectives to shape their imperfect world views and inform their behaviors. Ironically, Solas's exact words here about Loghain can be applied to him, and it's exactly why some people hate him while others love. Like Loghain, some see him as an egotistical murderer while others see him is a tragic figure whose empathy and idealism drive him to monstrous acts.

What's the truth? What is real? Ultimately, it doesn't matter. All that matters are the emotions and interactions people (players included) have with the world and characters. That's why the choices in games like Dragon Age matter so much. There shouldn't be a right answer or a wrong answer; all that matters is what feels right to the player. Because in Solas's words, all our different perspectives on things that happened? They're all real. And this is where so much discourse comes from. People try to take away the nuanced view of these characters and the world and insist that their perspective is the objective truth. Someone who loves Anders could be in danger of brushing past his many flaws while someone who hates him might be incapable of understanding the complexities that drove him to become the person he ended up. But in the end, all our different reactions to these characters are valid and real, both the positive and the negative. These characters are complex and three-dimensional, and to fully appreciate them it's imperative that we recognize that.

The Dragon Age world and its characters are so meticulously crafted that at its practically its own living thing at this point. As players interact with it, we all end up having our own experiences that influence our opinions of everything, from the characters, to what decisions are the best, to opinions on in-game power dynamics and politics.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

Taylor Swift is Derivative nonsense, not intellectually placed allusions. I'll die on this hill, and I have many more examples beyond just the one listed below.

Let’s talk about the difference between being derivative and utilizing allusion in text. :) 

I’ve seen a lot of defenses for Taylor Swift’s work that hinges on the theoretical concept of intertextuality. People don’t often know that they are arguing over the validity (or emotional impact) of intertextual cessions in Swift’s writing, but they are.

Intertextuality, if you don’t already know, is a set of determinable interwoven texts that all correspond on a particular thematic point. This encompasses, but is not limited to, the literary device of allusion.  

There are many examples of intertextual works, since it is intrinsically post-modern. Yet, I want to talk about how Taylor Swift attempts allusions that only ever fall into flat-facing derivative blandness. I want to talk about how, yes, Swift is in the spirit of the age; yet her work devolves into derivative insincerity simply because she is not an artistic writer.  

Now, for an egregiously bad allusion. (I think it’s worse because Romeo and Juliet is my favorite Shakespeare play). In “The Albatross” Swift writes, “A rose by any other name is a scandal” in which the obvious allusion is to Shakespeare's, “A Rose by any other name would smell as sweet” from the play Romeo and Juliet. The line in the play is often misquoted, so perhaps Swift is just ignorant, however the line means to draw attention to the fact that names are just words the that do not actually dictate the internal nature of someone.  

The full line, from Shakespeare, reads “O be some other name/ What’s in a name? That which we call a rose/ by any other name would smell as sweet;/ So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d” (Romeo and Juliet). Thus, Juliet is lamenting the full divisive way in which her family is at odds with Romeo’s family; upon deeper consideration too, Juliet is modulating how social pressures, often outside our control particularly in youth, can impact and modify the discourse between reality, doing what is proper in accordance with the majority, and intrinsic human desire to fulfill our own needs. So, the line is not only explaining how Romeo and Juliet cannot be together overtly due to familial dispute, but in the same words it explains the full breadth of social dissertation for the pursuit of individual need. Afterall, he would still be Romeo "were he not Romeo call'd." Juliet is admitting that she would still love him with or without the constraint of social obligation due the environment, or family, in which we are born; thus, we can see how individually human desire can be placed at odds with the demands of mainstream society.

This is a nuanced conversation when considering it through moral theory. For instance, we often talk about how people should not go against the mainstream for immoral pursuit of individual desire and that is reasonable; yet herein Shakespeare's work the thematic point is on the morality of love and desire to go against social convention. Shakespeare is saying, "Love is a greater moral good than that of social obligation to follow tradition and to hate who you are trained to hate based on parental teaching." It's a genius fucking line, in a genius fucking play. Now, we all know how the play ends, the lovers run off together, they have a brief day in the sun. However, social pressure and adult obligation catch up to them again and thus they die for it. They die for their courage to love and to go against the mainstream.  

Let’s return to Taylor Swift, the human embodiment of mainstream social pressure, as she writes that "a rose by any name is a scandal." As such, she is saying that all roses everywhere are just a scandal waiting to happen. If everything is a scandal, rather than speaking to any nuance grief to the pervasiveness' of social pressure to adhere to mainstream. Swift is simply throwing petulance to the world, by saying “Rose by any other name is a scandal” she limits what a rose could be, or become in using the verb “is” to fully solidify a rose as a scandal; which is a message that is diametrically opposed to the thematic point Shakespeare is making with his line. For Swift, there is no redemption, no nuance, and there is no subtext in which implicit messaging lay to tell people that going against the mainstream might just be the last thing you ever do but God is it worth it. To live with that brief day in the sun. And die for courage. Swift is just saying the opposite and stating that the mainstream is inevitable- there is no use in fighting it. A name is a name. It remains to tell the rose exactly what it is. Swift lacks imagination.

I would argue that Swift does make obvious attempts at allusion in her work, yet it is so poorly done because she does not actually see or use the thematic point of the source material from which she pulls her allusions. For allusions, to be done in an artistic impactful manner, we must keep to the thematic point of the source material. When the allusion is done correctly there is a “layering” effect in literature that redoubles the overarching themes of human experience in a way that calls us from the past, Shakespeare, to the present. Thus, is the theory of intertextuality in literary works.

(I made that bold because it's the main point of this, and I don't want anyone to miss it).

Taylor Swift’s work here simply does not measure up to anything artistic, thoughtful, or well-done.  It is simply derivative of Shakespeare, but I don't think it qualifies as a true allusion.

[casino-lights]

King Alistair vs Warden Alistair discourse always seems to resurface, like all of the other character-centric discourse, with each resurgence of the dragon age fandom. fandom veterans are probably tired of this by now, but since a lot of new people are playing origins and the old arguments about players making Bad Choices in this rpg are getting rehashed, here's my two cents on this topic in particular. 

I was watching my girlfriend play through some of the early levels in origins when I suddenly had a lot of thoughts about Alistair and she encouraged me to share them. throughout his introduction and his subsequent role in Ostagar and the Wilds, we see Alistair being quick-witted and snappy with his humor, but also very focused and dutiful. we see him being (mostly) respectful and polite, but also fairly confident and surprisingly authoritative considering his behavior later in the game. Alistair is comfortable here in Ostagar, and he's comfortable as a Warden not only under Duncan's command, but also over these new recruits. he doesn't shy away from his role as a mentor, the one who's supposed to show everyone the ropes and keep them on task and on schedule. he kindly yet firmly puts Jory back on track when he stumbles, he takes charge when he finds out the Tower of Ishal has been overrun, and he displays thorough knowledge of both the plan and the original expectations of what would be found in the tower. he's also knowledgeable about Blights and some Warden history, and he takes it upon himself to inform Duncan of Morrigan and Flemeth instead of just letting the player talk like he does later on.

speaking of that scene, Duncan is a bit firm but not angry or mean when he says he tells Alistair not to focus on the fact that Morrigan and Flemeth are likely apostates. he tells Alistair in no uncertain terms that this is not his concern and he needs to return his attention to the task at hand. this is not dissimilar from the way the player can later tell Alistair that people are taking advantage of him and he needs to make sure he's standing up for himself, but I'll get into this more a bit later.

what I'm trying to get at is that when we meet Alistair, he's a little closer to his hardened self than to the chronically unserious and incompetent manchild that Morrigan, DA2 and Inquisition, and some parts of this fandom treat him as. post-Ostagar, even Alistair himself seems to see himself as some class clown who can't do anything right, and characters like Wynne enable this by treating him like an ACTUAL child. while Alistair is almost certainly young, he has already proven shortly after meeting him that he's not even remotely stupid and he can obviously take care of himself. Duncan refers to the player, Jory, and Daveth as Alistair's "charges," showing that Duncan clearly trusts Alistair with a lot of responsibility and the safety and guidance of three strangers. he is far from stupid, he's far from childish, and he's obviously a layered character.

this has been said countless times before but a big problem in every fandom is the slow reduction of characters to one or two notable traits, and Alistair is no exception. I have a theory as to why. we know Duncan's death affected him deeply, but I don't think that alone explains his sudden switch from respecting the player while continuing to guide them and share responsibility as the senior Warden to almost blindly letting them lead him around and acting like if he led for five minutes they'd all die horrible deaths because he's just that incompetent. I think that during the time the player was unconscious in Flemeth's house, Alistair experienced an offscreen breakdown where he retreated behind desperate attempts at humor and making himself seem dumber and sillier to appear less competent in the hopes that someone else would be in charge so he didn't have to. if you think back to what age he was when he last experienced such a sudden, tumultuous, confusing loss of stability, routine, community, and a father figure - Eamon sending him to the Chantry as a child - you might even consider this to be a form of partial age regression. when we see him outside Flemeth's hut, he pleads with the player to not abandon him because he doesn't know what they should do or where they should go. he hasn't had this lack of direction ever since he was sent to the Chantry because after that, they dictated his life until Duncan recruited him and then the Wardens dictated his life. he's terrified and tired and grieving, and he begs us to make the decisions and help him figure out what to do. 

Morrigan gives him some shit for being quiet and sad, and he snaps at her, but otherwise we don't see a lot of that confidence and willingness to stand up for himself after this. I don't often play a character who is openly mean to any of their companions, so I don't really take any of the more dismissive dialogue options toward Alistair, but he's obviously hiding behind his humor and trying to make himself seem insignificant. in one line he even jokes that he'd hide behind his shield instead of his humor but the player would see him behind it. I think he really does just wish he could hide and grieve on his own and wait for someone else to give him a purpose again, and I think that if we actually saw the process of this breakdown from his more comfortable, confident, capable self into the Alistair we get post-Ostagar and pre-Goldanna, fewer people might be coddling Alistair and enabling this unhealthy coping mechanism. I wish the dialogue options to harden him were a bit kinder, but as we saw, Duncan was willing to tell it to Alistair straight up, and maybe that's the directness he needed from the player too. maybe Alistair needed to be told in no uncertain terms, by someone he respects and trusts, that most people he interacts with have some kind of ulterior motive and he needs to be more aware of this and stand up for himself and his beliefs. once he understands this, we can see him shift from reluctantly taking on the role of king because you and Eamon think it would be best to taking on the role of king because he understands it would be best.

bioware basically canonized this firmer, more responsible version of Alistair in their comics and even during some parts of Inquisition. we know King Alistair is their canon, but even though he shows some uncertainty about his ability to be King, we don't see any unwillingness. yet bioware also made the unfathomable decision to simultaneously show Alistair being a confident, capable king and then immediately fuck that growth up by having him look like a bumbling idiot who still doodles on royal documents at the fair age of thirty-something and still doesn't know how dictating a letter works after ten years of ruling Ferelden. they somehow invalidated both of his paths in origins at the same time, and perhaps most frustratingly, they just won't let go of the "swooping is bad" style of writing for him. let him grow. let him be as competent and brave and determined as he is in your comics. his progress has been so inconsistent it's painful.

if it wasn't already obvious, I think the best path for Alistair as a character is to harden him and make him king. he just doesn't get to prove himself as a Warden as much as he does when he's king. he's mostly alone, he doesn't seem to have a great rapport with other Wardens outside of his renown as one of the heroes of the Blight, and he just acts tangibly sadder. this could be because of the fake Calling, sure, but if he was still joking around with us during an actual Blight, I don't see why this event would have him this drained of personality and life, especially because he knows that this is not the real Calling. his line when he's left in the Fade - "tell Morrigan... tell her I just stood there looking foolish" - is another testament to the fact that he has not grown at all from his self-deprecating humor and he still hasn't come to see himself as capable and worthy of respect. we don't get to see enough of him as king, but from what little we get he seems to be wielding his power and authority well, and he's an incredibly well-respected and well-loved king. especially with Anora or a Cousland queen at his side, he's brave, commanding, and - just like he was back in Ostagar - he seems COMFORTABLE. he knows what he's doing, he sees his worth and accepts it, and he's more than willing to be firm and tell Fiona in no uncertain terms that Ferelden will not tolerate the events in Redcliffe. he's taking command and he's leading and protecting his charges, even though they're a lot more than just three Warden recruits this time. 

on a personal note, as someone who has dealt with mental health challenges, tough love from someone I respect and trust actually really helped me and I wouldn't be where I am without the occasional "you need to snap out of it." I'm not saying it's best for all scenarios, but I have experienced this firsthand. Alistair hiding from his responsibilities because they're overwhelming and he's terrified does resonate with me, but so does him actually healing a bit more and becoming more confident when someone shows him that they know he's better than this and he just needs to act like it. 

lastly, I think it's important to clarify that I don't believe anyone is playing any rpg the Wrong Way, regardless of what bioware made canon in their comics and other external media. I also think it's stupid to try and say ANY choice or route is inherently right or wrong, and every player is entitled to their opinion and preference. choices made in role playing games are usually done for the sake of playing a role, immersing oneself, and/or exploring the game's full library of content. as I said, I personally find hardened King Alistair with Queen Cousland to be the most satisfying version of his character arc, but I don't mean any of this to shame anyone if they choose or believe otherwise. no hate is intended, so don't purposefully misunderstand or misinterpret my words. no offense is intended if you just prefer one of Alistair's storylines or character arcs over the other. full offense is intended if you're the kind of person who bullies, shades, or otherwise belittles people who don't agree with your super special headcanons because you need to be the most correct player in the fandom.

thanks to everyone who isn't one of those people for reading all this <3

[teotheratking]

ABOUT JEAN: The monthly discourse

Damn and I thought we were past monthly Jean discourse, y'all are quite off schedule this time.

I do think it's funny how Jean-Heron Vicquemare continues to be The Public Enigma with what could be equivalent of 5 minutes of screen time. All of his appearances can be put into 3 groups: worrying/searching for Harry, watching over Harry, spending 45 minutes on insulting him. So it only makes sense how his discourse as well is surrounded by conversation, what is his relationship with Harry? Him being Harry's Satellite officer is like another added layer to how his whole existence seems in a constant orbit around the center of the Earth - Harrier Du Bois.

When discussing both of these characters I think it is crucial to strip them down layer by layer. When we're doing this Harry and Jean, I think we see far too quickly, how similar they are even with many differences: both are addicts, depressed, having facial scarrings and, of course, both are cops.

When looking at them from purely 'superior and subordinate perspective, they remind me of Robert Eggers script from The Lighthouse (2019) particularly this bit:

The Lighthouse explores the themes of capitalism and perpetual cycles of new and old generations: Young and Old.

We can see similar themes explored in DE as well. The game isn't afraid of constantly putting the players head into the mud, saying: "Yeah, it is that shit." RCM is a constantly moving system that lures people in with the promise of help for community and spits out a hollow husk of their former selves. Though I would say it doesnt do that either as most of them die before ever reaching retirement age.

Harry is surrounded by old dog imagery.

Particularly dogs that are about to be put down or are already dead. I particularly love this segment of the game with Joyce - it is clear that in this segment the black dog licking his wound is Harry, who's getting put down by the system he works in. But what I think makes the scene even better is what follows it:

Every officer's fate in RCM is the same.

It's the years of violence, brutality, system that eats those, who help and enables those, who hurt. It's speed, alcohol, never ending poverty, and as years go by another officer is closer and closer to finally pull the trigger on the old dog that you have become.

One final act in the Disco Inferno.

And there's inescapable horror in all of this: seeing what you will become, what you're bound to become. Looking in the mirror and staring at your partner's reflection - ever present reminder: "This will be you in 10 years to come."

When Jean says "trying," what he actually means is "functional." Having context of RCM system and inherent ableism of it, I think it's safe to say, that "to try" means "to succeed."

Jean isn't any more functional than Harry as he is simply younger. Harry through entirety of the game is experiencing raining bonefire of decades of drug abuse and effects of poverty and long lasting emotional physical abuse. Meanwhile, Jean is yet to experience the crashing sun. He has 10 years to do so.

In perpetual vortex that is this sinking ship, partnership and comradery, become essentials for survival. Harry and Jean form particularly tight bond, tight enough that both can't evade speculations about their sexuality or type of relationship they have, thus "hetero-sexual life partners" are born.

I see a lot of people insisting, that those two relationship, that they had is what we can see right now in the game: partnership that feels more like a race of self destruction, while putting sticks in each other's metaphorical bicycles. To see which one falls first. But I feel this is complete controdictory to what we hear from the game:

"Trouble in paradise" - I wouldn't use those words if my two coworkers, who try to sabotage each other on the daily would finally get into all consuming fight. Though what do I know about male-centric workplace humour.

No matter, which way you choose to look at it, at the events of Disco Elysium, Jean's and Harry's relationship is at their absolute worst. Rock bottom. Maybe even beyond it, though that depends how one evaluates forgetting 44 years of your life except lost ex goes into equation. What we see is culmination of their every moment together - good and bad, which erupts into terrible earthquake.

Finally, what we see of Jean and Harry's relationship is supposed to be merely introduction, or at least was (Kurwitz pls, let me read the scripts). By small bits and pieces Luiga has decided to reveal to the public is that Jean is supposed to be one of main partners of the second game featuring The Return.

This doesn't deny Jean's role as The Jury or The Executioner in the Final Tribunal. He represents RCM's bigotry, ableism and hypocrisy of it all - a broken system of a destructive cycle - ouroboros eating it's own tail. However at the end of the day he's as much a person as any other in Elysium - full of complexity and nuance, the verdict of we simply do not have enough information of.

Finally at the end of this... I don't know what to even call this, I have no idea how one would arrive to concrete conclusion, that is either: "Jean good' or "Jean bad." All game's characters are some kind of moraly grey - this isn't a MARVEL movie or a fairy tale that people want it to be. It is a commentary of cultures that we all have grown up in. For me DE really resonates from Baltic States history and culture context, because this is all I've ever known.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling a school counselor about what my friend does online?

I (F minor) am in middle school. I have a group of friends, about 8 people, but this is about one girl in specific we can call Annie. All of us are mutuals on tumblr, twitter, etc. and we have a discord server too.

All of us are into a lot of the same things, like art, anime, video games, and have a lot of the same hobbies. Most of us also struggle with mental health stuff like anxiety and/or depression so we regularly talk to our school counselor (F, Idk how old she is).

Anyways, we're all really close and we get along really well for the most part, but lately Annie has been doing stuff that really bothers and worries us.

She's VERY into internet discourse. Has 10 paragraph long DNI page, is constantly starting fights with other people, etc. She usually argues about stuff like LGBT+ rights, womens rights, etc. but also a LOT of fandom discourse which is my biggest concern.

A lot of my other friends reblog/retweet stuff like anime gifs, fanart, memes, etc. but pretty much every post I see from Annie is her fighting with someone over shipping or something like that.

A lot of the posts are basically:

Her talking about how disgusting a certain ship or character is

How everyone who likes that specific thing is a degenerate, or freak, or pedo or groomer.

How if you like problematic ships you need to get a therapist, or you deserve to be hurt. Once I saw her arguing with someone who said they write certain stuff due to trauma and she said "You don't have trauma, you're either lying or you actually liked it and that's why you write such disgusting nasty shit"

Fighting with random people and accusing them of being a predator or a pedo

Breaking her own DNI (which says adults, proshitters, etc. DNI) and then getting mad at the other person for responding

It's really upsetting to see because she does this CONSTANTLY. She never seems to use tumblr/twitter to do things she actually likes. I never see her reblog gifs or memes or just silly lighthearted posts about stuff she enjoys.

It's especially upsetting because we're minors and she TELLS PEOPLE THAT. Like she's arguging with people that she thinks are pedos or child predators, while openly telling people her actual age. To me that's like covering yourself in bloody steaks and then jumping into water full of sharks.

I was really starting to get concerned because even in our private discord server she's always talking about how much she hates these people or whatever and how they should die, a lot of the time she says things like "they should get the wall" or "I hope their nasty fanfics happen to them irl that would teach them lol" and it really freaks me out.

She also talks about seeing the "child porn" that these people make which as far as I'm aware is drawings of characters but it still freaks me out how open and calm she is about looking at what she THINKS is child porn. I asked her if it's child porn why is it being linked in callout posts for other people (including minors!) to see and not being reported to the FBI but she just gets mad and changes the subject.

Me and our other friends have mentioned before that we don't like hearing about this kind of stuff but then she just gets mad and goes offline or gives us the silent treatment at school.

A month or so ago I got so fed up and upset, that I took a bunch of screenshots of her tumblr account and discord messages. One thing to note is that her username is VERY specific.

It's a combination of her first and last name and her birth year. Most people will not know that, but if you know her name and birthday, it's easy to tell it's her. She also goes by her real name online which I also screenshotted as proof it's her.

I brought all this to the school counselor, and I told her how worried I was about Annie, and how I think she's doing something really unsafe. Not only is she confronting people she thinks are child predators/groomers, she's telling people they deserve to get hurt in really awful ways, and looking at porn and I don't think this is good for her mental health.

The counselor at first was like "Idk are you SURE it's her? It could be anyone online!" But I insisted that it was and explained the username thing and that this was our private discord server so obviously I know it's her.

She thanked me for letting her know and told me I was being a good friend and then we talked about how I was doing, and then I left. I kind of forgot about it until a week later.

Annie wasn't online at all and I was kind of worried, but then I saw her on Monday at school. I was with our other friends and we called out her name so she would see us and come over and she LOST IT. She started screaming at us and telling us how awful we were, and how we ruined her life.

Idk what exactly happened, but apparently the counselor talked to her and her parents got involved? Her parents now monitor her internet usage, they have child safety stuff on the browsers, and she's only allowed on certain websites for doing research for school, or watching videos on youtube on their account so they can see what videos she's watching, or playing games on steam.

She said that her parents are also putting her in therapy once a week now (with an actual therapist, not the counselor) and she's only allowed to go out with an adult chaperone (either her older sister or one of her parents).

But... None of our friends know it was me who told the counselor. Annie has other friends besides us, so they're also "suspects" for being the snitch. It seems like half of our friends are relieved that Annie is kept away from that kind of stuff and the other half are mad at whoever the snitch is for ratting Annie out and resulting in her having less privacy/freedom.

At first I was happy that Annie was getting help and being kept away from this but now I feel really conflicted. I feel so disgusting talking to her and our other friends and pretending nothing happened, knowing that I was the one who told the counselor.

Annie still talks to us but she's a lot less open. We still have our discord server but apparently her parents will read through the messages to make sure she's not talking about anything bad and that she's only talking to us and not strangers.

What are these acronyms?

[darklinaforever]

I don't understand some people's obsession with the age difference between Edwin and the Cat King.

Yes, Edwin is a perennial 16 year old.

But the Cat King isn't even human. He is literally a cat deity. And as someone @jaks21 pointed out to me in the comments, the Cat King has the overall behavior of a cat : "I think it's also being forgotten that the cat king isn't human. He can shift into human form, but he is essentially a cat. This is all cat behavior. They have absolutely no sense of personal space (unless it's their own), they like the thrill of the hunt and they like to play."

Soon people will talk to me about zoophilia maybe ?

Beyond that, the Cat King's behavior seems to be quite immature most of the time as well.

So why are people absolutely trying to categorize him as a straight-up adult when he's not a human being ? Who tells you that his brain works like a human's ? Who tells you he's not a baby compared to other supernatural beings ?

It's all well and good to judge Edwin for his reality on the show, but give the same courtesy to the Cat King in this case, otherwise it just seems designed to unnecessarily lower the ship.

Also, if we want to speak realistically... since the Catwin plot revolves around Edwin finally coming to terms with his sexual orientation through his attraction to the Cat King (even if we know that there is also an important emotional context involved ) well it seems to me that Edwin is exactly the age of consent required for sexual relations, namely 16 years old.

Sexual maturity is not the same as legal age making you an adult and I feel like people often confuse the two.

I also find it paradoxical to say that Edwin, who lived more than a century, is judged as not being able to date an almost immortal divinity (because yes, one day the Cat King will no longer have his 9 lives and will therefore die for of good) clearly outside human norms because he happens to be a Cat King and not having at all the behavior of an human adult, or even of a real human, under the pretext that Edwin has his brain blocked at age 16 years old.

But many people will also say that Edward in Twilight cannot love Bella, a teenager, on the pretext that he has lived several centuries due to being a vampire, even if this type of vampire in this universe mentally stops evolving at the age where they were transformed, making Edwin an eternal teenager of 17 years old. Yet he is considered disgusting for wanting to be with a human teenager of almost the same age mentally ?(Be careful, I'm not saying that Twilight is an excellent and brilliant story, I'm just talking about the context of the age difference between the protagonists and the ridiculous discourse around it)

The battles over the age difference in fiction featuring supernatural beings are almost never consistent. And for good reason, I find it useless !

Because most of the time, the supernatural creature does not meet human standards in order to be associated with the younger person (at least if this person is actually younger, in the term of non-majority, because otherwise, as long as everyone is an adult we don't care). Or if it is not the creature that follows a particular pattern, we are for example transported into a universe inspired by a particular era, where the legal age is then different.

So, we must stop judging imaginary beings as if they were human adults, it makes no sense.

Yes. Edwin has been a 16 year old ghost for a very long time and technically cannot mature beyond this age. Tragic. But in the show, which is not the comics, it doesn't really matter. Edwin remains a character with an arc and evolution. So he has undeniably experienced things as a ghost that allow him to change and evolve in his own way.

Of course, it can be confusing, but Edwin's case aside, the Cat King does not meet human standards. And he clearly doesn't behave like a human. Even less that of an adult human. So stop judging him as such.

Essentially the Cat King resembles in his behavior a mixture of... well, a cat, since that's what he is, and a form of immature teenager.

That the Cat King is older than Edwin doesn't matter if he doesn't have a maturity greater than Edwin.

Once again, the Cat King clearly doesn't have the mentality or maturity of most healthy adults of our world. So why absolutely try to judge him as such ? Again, that doesn't make sense.

The Cat King is a being to be judged outside of our realistic standards.

Plus, being uncomfortable with the Cat King & Edwin relationship because Edwin is 16... seems ridiculous again.

Although I would love for the show to make Catwin canon in the future I doubt that will be the case (but good if it happens !), as things stand the Cat King only seemed to be a tool to allow Edwin to open up a little more about himself, in particular about accepting his sexuality, even if not only that. So, since the sexual aspect is very much emphasized in this relationship, it must be taken into account. And Edwin is a 16 year old teenager. Not only do adolescents inevitably have a period of trouble linked to sex, but in fiction the treatment of sexuality is sometimes done through a creature outside the norms of reality, therefore fanciful, often morally dubious.

It’s a classic trope in the world of fiction !

And if that makes you uncomfortable... well I don't know what to do for you.

Again, as I said before, Edwin is of the required age of consent in terms of sexual relations.

So how does it shock you to see someone old enough to explore their sexuality find themselves in a sexuality-related scenario with the classic trope of a fantasy creature to do so ?

This kind of controversy is beyond me! We're talking about fictional characters of a supernatural nature !

[ztar-hunter428]

My opinion on so called "shipping discourse"

so first off if you have "proship" in your bio I will be blocking you

And if you have "antiship" I will also be blocking you

My thoughts on this matter under the cut

Please hear me out here 🙏 I am open to discussions

I am not against proship in the "it shouldnt exist ever anywhere and should be censored always" way. I am against censorship for the most part. BUT.

It should NEVER be normalized. Please keep it as private as possible.

All this romanticizing can just be a gateway to an actual paraphillia developing. Now yes i know not everyone will, some people will stay fictional forever and could never think of doing anything real... But you can't control who consumes your content, you can never be SURE the age and mental state of the people who consume your content!

I do not like all this sugar coating garbage you people are doing. Sorry but this is not a matter of "it's just fiction!! It doesn't affect reality!!" Which is completely untrue, I can give so many examples of it happening.

Im tired of proshippers constantly overstepping boundaries. Acting like people who are uncomfortable or grossed out are the bad ones. Are "terminally online". Sorry but... go outside... tell anyone what kind of content you consume and see how they react. The grand majority of people will be grossed out by it.

Do not try to act like this is somehow "harmful to lgbtq" do not try to act like this is "facism" these are just people's opinions. Stay in your space. Leave us alone. Stop trying to hide it and wriggle your way into normal fandom space. Stop acting like the victim when you get called out. We are allowed to want to stay away from you.

And "but murder and all these other crimes are okay in fiction but rape, incest and children liking aren't okay???"

See there's a difference

You're romanticizing it. Fetishizing it.

I think writing about murder would be bad too if it was written like that. Most people would be uncomfortable about reading a story fetishizing any crime. It's not the same.

There is stories that use rape and pdflia as a plot point that people love and adore! It's all about HOW it's portrayed.

And for antishippers...

Just. Stop.

Telling people they need to die, death threats, harassing. Doesn't help anyone.

This is not that big of a deal as you say it is, just because someone's a proshipper does automatically make them a groomer or a pfile. Though people have the right to know they're a proshipper, it should not be hidden.

It is an issue. But not nearly as a big deal as some people act like it is. Whats more important is actual grooming.

If you have anti shipper in your bio sorry but I'm gonna assume you're okay with telling people to kill themselves. This just makes you the bad one... I am pro recovery unless something happens to a real person, then it's unforgivable.

If you EVER feel like your desires start to become real I urge you to seek therapy. I know it is scary but I promise people are willing to help you. I am very proud to everyone who has managed to change, you're not monsters.

[kateeorg]

Critical Role- Gods and Parents Parallels

One thing that pops up again and again in the Ruby Vanguard and Ludinus discourse about the gods is that the gods are angry because their children surpassed them. That the child must always surpass the parent, and that the gods not allowing that makes them unfair, against the natural order of things.

I see three issues with this, and they are all a little at odds with each other, so not sure which if any make the most sense.

The first is that the gods have already significantly stepped back from influencing Exandria, as a good parent should. In fact, much of the Ruby Vanguard, like Bor'dor and Lilliana, were radicalized because they felt abandoned, not because they felt the gods have overstepped. Same with a lot of Bells Hells - they have such vague feelings of the gods mostly because they have only felt them vaguely. The few times they've witnessed real overstep were when Ludinus forced their hand - the Dawnfather temple, what happened with Opal.

But most of the time, they don't usually force their will, don't demand obedience from those who choose not the believe, give vague hints. So in trying to give their children more free will, which those like Ludinus should see as a good thing, they come across as absent (a similar problem to the gods in the Percy Jackson series, where the parent issues are much more direct.) You're damned if you do, damned if you don't.

The second is that the rule that the child must "surpass" the parent only really works in a world where parents eventually age and die. But the gods... don't. And can't. Not naturally. Which is I suppose why Ludinus is so deadset on killing them.

But on top of that, even if one killed the gods and became top of the food chain, mortals still can't comprehend the infinite the way gods can. So in reality it's sort of impossible for mortals to surpass the gods except by becoming one, a process that we know is difficult and has a variety of complications. And even then, you don't actually surpass the gods - you just become one of them. You become what you despised, thinking you could do a better job, until you realize all the demands that position and responsibility brings. You could maybe do a better job, but in the process realize why it was so hard for your parents in the first place. Look at the Raven Queen. So either way, Ludinus's dream of mortals surpassing gods doesn't work.

Which leads to my third issue: Surpassing is not the point.

If we're really going to run with the parent-child parallels, the true sign of a child maturing is not them surpassing the parent - it's understanding them. It's seeing their flaws and forgiving them for it. To see them not as saviors or tyrants, but in their entirety as beings trying to do their best in imperfect circumstances. Doesn't mean you need to maintain a relationship with them as an adult if they really hurt you and continue to hurt you, but it allows you to better understand the past and forge a better future.

Now, the gods don't seem to think mortals CAN understand, and I think that is a flaw on their part. Mortals may not be able to understand the infinite, what it means to be responsible for and take care of entire domains of existence, to be so bound to your own rules you cannot break them. But mortals can, some more than others, understand trauma and family obligations and impossible choices. The Society of Primes may not have come about if the Primes made it more apparent what the Betrayers really are to them.

And this is where I hope Bells Hells can step in. Because they are among a select few living souls who have seen what happened in Aeor from the Primes' perspective. (4-Sided Dive mentions they did not witness what happened in Tengar and the epilogue, but everything else). And this group more than many can understand impossible choices and choosing one another, even when it could potentially hurt others.

If Bells Hells can prove to the gods that mortals are capable of appreciating them as flawed and respecting them anyway, that seeing their flaws even makes them love them more... perhaps that could lead to a healthier relationship between mortals and gods for all of Exandria. Not of tyrants nor of absence, but a happier medium.

EDIT: We in fact see this in Campaign 1, where Vax and Vex see the human faces of the Raven Queen and the Dawnfather - in the instances the gods have trusted mortals enough to show their human side, they have become more likable. But considering Aeor, it's easy to see why they don't trust easily.

(Of course this could go the totally opposite way and I could eat my words, but that's just where my head is at after Downfall. Imogen and Laudna in particular I think may become more fearful seeing what the gods do to threats to themselves and their domain. But we'll see).

[thelonepolonium]

Something that has been happening in recent years is the idea that "I don't have to bear the burden of teaching people about LGBTQIA+ issues, feminism, leftist notions, etc." While it is true that you don't owe others answers and guidance, you owe it to yourself to engage with these topics. We often assume that because we live in a digital age with access to "all the information," people should have no problem finding this knowledge. However, just as people die of dehydration in the desert, they can also die of dehydration in the ocean if they lack access to clean water. Finding the truth today is very much like searching for a needle in a haystack. Many people simply don't have the time to read 800-page manifestos or follow hour after hour of political discourse. The education system has failed many, leaving most people without vital skills such as critical thinking and media literacy.

Additionally, the solution is not a one-minute TikTok video, as these often serve only as echo chambers and don't lead to meaningful understanding. The world may seem all queer, feminist, and pro-Palestinian online, but that perspective can quickly fade when one steps outside of platforms like Tumblr and into the real world. The solution is to actually talk to people, to educate, and to hold everyone accountable—both the government and people. The burden may not be yours, but when push comes to shove, the blunt will be.

[the-crystal-femmes]

Filter Tag Lists

// pt: filter tag lists //

This is a master list of what each of us would like filter tagged due to triggers. Only Pearl and I will have tags.

Triggers with * have been also general tagged by us as well, so general tags would suffice for them. Please note that the link below we will not be general filtering since it's so niche and also has to do with something important

We would prefer that Pearl's triggers that can't be generalized be tagged with zeir specific tag. Pearl ignores my personal tag.

If you feel uncomfortable with tagging any of these, that is completely fine, just please let us know! We would never force anyone to tag something for us if it's something that may impose on their own comfort. /gen

DISCLAIMER

[ pt: disclaimer /end pt ]

Most tags we don't mind if they aren't tagged! We most likely wouldn't care.

However, anything that has a 🔊(high volume emoji) is something that we request is most important to be tagged, and most likely retains to Pearl.

Pearl is our prosecutor, and, while she usually has a good grip on control, may be prone to lashing out on others if agitated or perceived to be provoked. These things are type priority to ensure nothing happens.

Host

// pt: Host //

Tag: #tagging for vamp (alternatively #batty please ignore this)

Reblog bait*

Syscourse*

Gore*. PLEASE TAG YOUR GORE and do not CENSOR THE TAG use "tw gore" the censoring is horrendous and is counterproductive!!

Any sexual remarks regarding our sources, ESPECIALLY PEARL

Telling anyone to die in any way (i.e. "kys" etc) that is not a joke

US Politics, especially regarding the 2024 election*

Any "___ of pro endos" blogs. It's upsetting for me to see due to past incidents with the one who started the gimmicks.

Talks of thanksgiving, as enstated by Pearl*

Vagueposting, I could mistake it to be about us and get triggered. Positive vagueing is fine, though

Discourse in the following communities: lgbtqia+, fictionfolk, alterhuman*

The r slur*

Posts with the names of the w creature and s creature

Intersexist posts*

The queer term "bat", due to our NPD

Art meant to induce paranoia

Omegaverse and Misceverse content*

Monsterfucker content*

Trolls / Anon hate*

Hate involving Jimmy from mouthwashing, I am a swordsperson and we personally know a canon divergent Jimmy fictive and it makes me go APESHIT seeing hate due to that, no we do not support source Jimmy's actions use your common sense please 🫡

Stuffed animal harm

Tag games if I'm not tagged, due to npd

Pearl

// pt: Pearl //

Tag: #beach city outskirts

Hate against zeir source 🔊

Source being compared to a bird, finds it offensive

Very specific; responses to asks that could be considered mean or rude if it's unwarranted. Pearl is horribly uncomfortable witnessing this occur and it can cause zem to become triggered and prosecute. 🔊

Hate against persecutors/prosecutors 🔊

Age Regression posts that include zeir source in some way, ze is personally uncomfortable with age regression or even being seen in that light. (We are unsure if this includes pet regression.) 🔊

Very up close images of bugs, apparently <- mainly spiders, mantises and -pede bugs. Ze's fine with moths though

Posts about hating children

That's all we got for now, I think. This will be updated as needed - Host

[ dividers by cafekitsune ]