#note: i do also have depression

[brionnnne]

Mithrun is autism coded to me, a late diagnosed, high masking autistic woman.

My early life was spent smiling and hiding every bad feeling away because people taught and prized being a "good kid" over being a real person. It's the scrambling, feeling like you're barely a person, struggling while everyone else seems to be doing so well and being so angry and petty and jealous and insecure and hating everyone, but hiding it because you have to be "good". It's also falling more into hyposensitivity versus hypersensitivity, such as burning his tongue and not really reacting to the pain. It's his extreme tunnel vision (monotropism) to the extent of forgetting everything else including bodily needs, which aligns with poor interoception. He doesn't even really become aware he's tired until his body stops, which is something I still experience even while managing other things. It's also lying about said needs, intentional or not. I think this aligns with PDA profile, which I am. Being told or asked to do something can set off the demand avoidance, so saying "No" is pretty much automatic, and I think it's fantastic that he just does it, even when he doesn't have any desire to lie, because it isn't a desire. I'm not saying no because I want to. It's a defense. If I say "No" in the face of any percieved demand, it stops the panic response that would normally occur at the demand, and I use this to manage that.

I even use it similarly, like "Oh, did you shower?" and I just don't want to deal with that so I'll say no, even when it's obvious. There's also the surface sociability. I mean, there's so much really that I resonate with. It's astounding how many marks he hits...

I don't know. He's very important to me. Alexithymia, too. The lack of filter on his speech, while this has been linked with brain damage, is also... I mean, I have ADHD, too.

[warrior-of-storms]

Okay but do you know what really gets me?

There's no one left in-universe who can or will talk about Jaybin as he really was.

Bruce is the founder of the Jaybin Slander Department;

Alfred is no better.

Dick wasn't around much, didn't know him that well.

If Barbara ever interacted with him in his original run, I haven't found it yet.

I mean, he had some interactions with the Teen Titans, but was he really close with any of them?

I suppose Gordon could, assuming he isn't in on the Jason-bashing. I haven't seen it but I could be missing something.

And, well, Jason... somehow, I don't think anyone's asking Jason what he was like as a kid, nor is he really a reliable source. Autobiographical memory is weird.

No one in-universe will ever really talk about this bright, friendly, eager kid, and it's a tragedy.

He was smart and clever and had so much compassion.

He wanted so badly to help people, and he found joy in his work as Robin.

He had a dramatic flair and he was kind of a nerd and he was really funny on occasion.

He was so deeply, fundamentally good, and the fact that somehow his legacy has been twisted into one of anger and recklessness is honestly a crime.

It makes me so desperately sad that there's not a single character who can even start to undo the lasting damage of a four-decade smear campaign against a kid who did nothing to deserve it.

[ghostlymarauder]

I just want to announce that I have a Will Graham shimeji and now my life is forever changed

[knowlesian]

on one hand yes i will always argue that death of the author is a legit concept and lens and intent isn’t the whole ballgame but on the other hand it’s usually good to at least try to assess what a story is attempting to say, and people can indeed just be Bad At Analyzing Media

[cinnbar-bun]

I hope this isn’t a weird question and I’m asking like,,, very nicely because I’m just curious because you often discuss novels but why do you like American Psycho? Like just cuz it’s a horror or smth? Your other recommendations were interesting so I was wondering what your thoughts are

Not weird at all, but sorry the English major in me is gonna pop the hell out and sorry this will be boring and long because I have so many feelings on the book and the movie and the other Ellis novels in general and I think some literary theory being applied to it really takes it beyond its shallow surface viewing of “guy who kills people”.

I will try to keep this short somewhat and I will try to avoid getting graphic and spoilery but beyond that, I do wanna start off with as a WOC in America I’ve always loved stories that tackle the American condition and ideology. It’s easy to write it off sometimes- what’s the difference if X story is in England for example and while yes that can be true, I feel most of the novels I hold important to me (Ellis, Toni Morrison, etc.) is a uniquely American thing. It’s so rooted in American culture and societal values it just personally touches me as a woc who has immigrant parents.

Now tying it back into the last paragraph, American Psycho is at its core a satire, and the novel is especially important for its place during Reagan’s presidency (and honestly a lot of the problems in the novel ARE traced back to Reagan’s policies and Reaganomics), presumably before Black Monday- so this is PEAK Reagan era American consumerist before what is going to be the worst economic crash in the world since the Great Depression.

Patrick is a symptom of the larger problem Ellis tackles- Yuppie culture and American consumption as well as identity politics. I’ve seen the theories of Patrick being a repressed gay man and I thought similarly along with coinciding with Ellis being a gay man who said that Patrick was something of Ellis’s own thoughts at the time. Patrick’s rage I kinda related to in a way (and not in Gahhhhhh I’m gonna murder and drug people!!) but as a warped sense of self and self hatred and repression for what you are.

And before you get the idea that means, Oh so Ellis is a fucking weirdo- I mean, maybe- but you have to read deeper into that and it’s that Patrick has no identity. Sure we read about him, but he effectively has no identity or connection to others. He is routinely mistaken for others, reality is a false construct, perhaps he did nothing or perhaps he did everything he said he did. The ways you can examine American Psycho over and over again is soooooo incredible. Whether it’s from a racial, sexual, or cultural lens I like to take a moment because yes the graphic violence is jarring but that is the point. It’s an over the top parody of what is the real issue- identity and culture. Ex: Patrick is a repressed gay man so he actively goes after women to lie/convince himself otherwise, Patrick is a white man with a rich dad so he gets away with it, Patrick is so empty inside he has to turn to substance abuse and cruelty to get any feeling, Patrick is so lost on who he is he is mistaken for XYZ.

The movie does make the satirical aspects more clear because Christian Bale is performing as Patrick in such an exaggerated way that it’s comical and emphasizes how ridiculous this shit is. I also think as time goes on the novel becomes more ‘important’ and very reflective of the world we live in (considering Patrick is such a fan of Trump to the point of idol worship and needing to be consoled by Trumpisms and this was New York in the late 1880s so like even then that was ridiculous) especially with our current situation now it’s a bit of something to reflect on imo.

So yeah! Just a condensed form of what I feel but honestly I feel and think and have thought waayyyyy more about the film and novel and every progressive viewing or reading as I get older always highlights something new to me. Ellis also is an interesting writer to me, can’t say if he’ll be good for you but in American Psycho specifically as an example because they all spend so much time describing outfits and brands, Ellis knew that people would just skip ahead whenever they did so he just started describing wackier shit and the details about for example Patrick taking his clothes to the laundromat it’s so much more thoughtful than you think.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Do you think Erik would be more of a vampire or a werewolf (in a AU I guess) (and also what do you think Charles would be?) I lowkey imagine Charles as little red riding hood if Erik was a werewolf.

i feel like they're both pretty vampire coded...... if we must assign them vampire or werewolf......

[werebutch]

So many times I’ve seen people on here be like wowww it’s so funny seeing ppl rage over vegans 😁!! ….. these people genuinely have no idea what they’re talking about. If you mention all their stuff being made of plastic they cover their ears and go lalala like they’re 5. I’m sorry but it DOES make me mad. I wish your passion for the environment could go somewhere actually useful and not to blissful ignorance and even environmental harm. -_-

[soppsop]

i just rememberd adhd meds exist and now im upset because i could have that if it wasn't for that freakin neurologyst we went to see that told us it was impossible that i could have adhd because i have good grades in school. literally the ONLY question he asked me and immediately said it was impossible. we spent like 5 minutes there. he could've at least... explained something???? anything?????? and now i'd feel bad about asking my parents to see another neurologist because that costs a lot of money :((

[muselexum]

( waking up one morning after 18 months of hiatus and finally getting the spark™ to freshen up ur rp blog )

[sollucets]

hi everyone :’) i havent been on tumblr much lately because i am 1) not watching anything and 2) still dealing with the effects of a bunch of fun medical stuff! i am doing ok but my body hates me so so so much lately. i have the energy and ability(?) to do only a few very specific things right now (play elden ring, let youtube forcefeed me kpop videos, languish) and that does not include watch show or make gif or even write no matter how much i might want to. so. this is how it is haha. miss u guys

[stormyoceans]

100 JIMMYSEA SERIES

3. kindergarten teacher x single parent

title: love in little steps

main cast: jimmy jitaraphol, sea tawinan, chun pachchun, jamie juthapich, piploy kanyarat

pairings: jimmysea, jamiepiploy

summary: sea and jaime had been high school sweethearts. after an unplanned pregnancy during their first year of college, they went against their families by deciding to get married and keep the baby, but as they grew older, they realized that they were also growing apart: jamie still dreamed of becoming a successful lawyer, while sea was happy to put away his past aspirations and live a more simple yet still fulfilling life. they tried their best to salvage their marriage for the sake of their son, chun, but ultimately decided to divorce and part ways amicably, leaving chun in sea’s care.

navigating life as a newly single father wasn’t easy though. chun had always been a happy and outgoing kid, but he was having trouble adjusting to all the changes in his life: he missed having his parents together, and on top of that he had been reassigned from piploy’s class in kindergarten to one with a new teacher, jimmy. chun started to act out, both at home and at school, until one day sea was called in by the principal because chun got into a fight with another kid. at a loss on what to do to help his son, sea found an unexpected help in jimmy, whose patient and understanding nature was eventually able to make chun smile again.

following the principal's advice, sea also decided to be more active in his son's school life, and between festivals, fundraising events, and school trips, little chun wasn't the only one growing fonder of jimmy with each passing day.

[apotelesmaa]

I think the fact that u can just get prescribed ssris without being told about side effects to watch out for and then have your dose raised and suddenly have your mental health absolutely tank is. So funny. Absolutely incapable of feeling emotions to the point where all of my relationships are fucked (unable to feel affection/love) my academic career is fucked (unable to feel any sense of urgency towards assignments/attendance) my Everything Is Fucked (unable to gauge emotional well-being until things are actually hazardous) but at least I also can’t feel the Consuming Despair. Giving zombie realness. Going through the motions pilled. Apathymaxxing.

[ashmp3]

making a new workout split and drinking nettle tea and queueing stuff... Normal girl. My gym changed the work time and its making me suicidal but its the only close-only women gym near me so i will have to suck it up before i think of another activity... i saw there is flying yoga near me but the classes are always full boooo they hate my ass but also i love being good at everything so its good to weight lift before trying to enroll again

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

i gave you a life