#C-PTSD too

[brionnnne]

Mithrun is autism coded to me, a late diagnosed, high masking autistic woman.

My early life was spent smiling and hiding every bad feeling away because people taught and prized being a "good kid" over being a real person. It's the scrambling, feeling like you're barely a person, struggling while everyone else seems to be doing so well and being so angry and petty and jealous and insecure and hating everyone, but hiding it because you have to be "good". It's also falling more into hyposensitivity versus hypersensitivity, such as burning his tongue and not really reacting to the pain. It's his extreme tunnel vision (monotropism) to the extent of forgetting everything else including bodily needs, which aligns with poor interoception. He doesn't even really become aware he's tired until his body stops, which is something I still experience even while managing other things. It's also lying about said needs, intentional or not. I think this aligns with PDA profile, which I am. Being told or asked to do something can set off the demand avoidance, so saying "No" is pretty much automatic, and I think it's fantastic that he just does it, even when he doesn't have any desire to lie, because it isn't a desire. I'm not saying no because I want to. It's a defense. If I say "No" in the face of any percieved demand, it stops the panic response that would normally occur at the demand, and I use this to manage that.

I even use it similarly, like "Oh, did you shower?" and I just don't want to deal with that so I'll say no, even when it's obvious. There's also the surface sociability. I mean, there's so much really that I resonate with. It's astounding how many marks he hits...

I don't know. He's very important to me. Alexithymia, too. The lack of filter on his speech, while this has been linked with brain damage, is also... I mean, I have ADHD, too.

[rottmnt-residuum]

Part 6 of Arc II (Part 32)

the elevator music is kokomo btw sksksk

⇇ | ⇽ | index | ⇾ (censored) | ⇾ (gore)

[loudlittleecho]

Danny Phantom Prompt: Too Late to Save Them

Ok! There are similar concepts floating either around here or AO3 (or both), but I haven’t been able to find this particular angst path. (Though I’m sure it’s around)

So!

Canon Divergence After TUE (The Ultimate Enemy)

Danny fought his evil self, but was too late to save his family. Clockwork didn’t reverse time to save them— they were always meant to die. It was their “time.”

-------------

“NO!” 

Danny was flown backward from the explosion, his body hurtling along with the rubble. 

The rubble. 

When the dust settled he heard sirens in the distance. Saw. . . a torn red beret beside his foot.

Tucker. 

Sam. 

His. . . 

Family. 

Distraught, confused, exhausted, Danny notices a woman crouched down beside him. She’s speaking to him, but he can’t hear her; there’s a dull buzz all around him, and the world seems more. . . narrow. It’s hard for him to focus on what he’s seeing. 

And then she. . . freezes. 

The world freezes in time. 

The ghost, Clockwork, is floating behind her. He has his hand out, waiting for something. His expression unreadable, but Danny understands. 

His fingers lightly grasp the thermos holding his future self. As though in a trance, he lifts it up to Clockwork. Gives him the thermos. 

Clockwork accepts it, continues looking at him impassively. 

Resumes time. 

. . . 

The days go by. He is released from the hospital in the care of a caseworker. She is talking to him gently, but he doesn’t hear what she’s saying. 

He's had many people talk to him, so many people gazing at him with pity. He can't be bothered to care.

He is led to a car, someone buckles him in. The car begins driving, and soon is parked in front of Fenton Works.

His home. 

The caseworker is saying something. . . Something about his aunt Alicia. He ignores her, walking into the house. 

Into the lab. 

He hears her scurrying after him.

Ignoring her cries of alarm, he goes into the portal. 

… 

He floats in the ghost zone. A few ghosts attempt to banter with him, push him around; but noticing his non reaction, leave him be. 

He can’t go home. Can’t go to Vlad. He has to keep his humanity to prevent becoming a monster. 

But how can he keep what he can’t feel?

He’s lost them all.

But he can keep his promise. 

“Don't worry. I won't turn into that. Ever. I promise.”

He floats further and further into the ghost zone. 

[astcae]

[sprinkleofquirk]

I’m so tired of being honest about my pain level and having no one believe me because I don’t show pain the way they expect

[cantfightmoonlight]

@lunarcovestarters

Option A: Leyla

TW Blood

Shit. A shaky breath left her lips as she placed the heavy bucket of soap and water down with the thud. Every muscle in her body was begging her to curl up into a tiny little ball, to pull the covers as high as they would go and stay in bed for the next eternity, or even worse, do what the Selvi's did best- run without ever daring to look back. Her best friend was in the hospital thanks to her biological sister who, from the not so subtle message sprawled across the windows of her coffee shop, had used Aiyla's own blood to write it. She felt she was going to be sick, but rather than letting herself break down into tears, Leyla did the only thing else she knew how to do. She threw herself into task, scrubbing away at the horror scene of vandalism before her rather than let anyone feel the gut-wrenching sensation that she currently did. She had gotten nearly all of it but 'think again' cleared up before she felt the presence of someone behind her. "Fu-dge," She jumped, spinning around on her feet to catch the other's glance. "You scared me," Leyla mumbled out, ringing out the sponge in her hand and trying her best not to wrinkle her nose too much as she watched the blood run down her hands into the bucket.

Option B: Jasmine

"Mhm," Jas winced slightly as she rubbed her sore wrists. The metallic cuffs glistening in the sun almost could be mistaken as a fashion choice. Almost, except for the fact that they were latched onto her skin. The distinct and ancient charms cut off any access she had to her magic. Now, as she sipped her cup of coffee, attempting to reschedule all of the ghost tours the Seen It Route was having this week, the cuffs, besides the relatively hefty weight for bracelets, weren't much of a bother. They were clunky, for sure, but they no longer hurt. Though, the immediate pain she had felt when they had been placed on still lingered in her thoughts along with the fact that for the first time in weeks, the world seemed silent. While, she hadn't exactly been looking forward to paying the cost for something she had done over six months ago, she'd be lying if the fact she couldn't be harassed by the dead or overwhelmed by the coven's judgements that she had 'gotten off scott-free' while Rohan had not, had been nice. And now, hopefully, her name wouldn't be able to be thrown around as a weapon against her sister, the Supreme, or her boyfriend, the Alpha's character. The only problem remained, how the hell was she going to rebook five different tours and how many refunds was she going to have to give? A groan slipped out as she rubbed at her temples. "Who knew scheduling would be so complicated."

Option C

PTSD, Depression tw

Meena sat at the end of the bar. It was one of the first times she had sat, period, after the past few days. Aaliyah was finally healed up and headed back home. The emptiness in her house was hardly lost on her. Her eyes drained of even the slightest hint of a spark as she milked the glass of wine in hand. Her thumb and forefinger swirling the stem back and forth as if she was completely and utterly memorized by the red liquor. She was more angry than anyone could possibly imagine. The Catalyst had hurt her own and one who was older and, by proxy, physically stronger than even she was. But, on top of ever fiber of her being being filled with rage, she also felt entirely drained. The typical curve of her lips, her signature smirk, was no where to be found. Instead, the clan leader was entirely and utterly numb. Too exhausted to even bother to fake it anymore. It wasn't until someone slide into the open seat beside her that she finally took a moment to glance up. "I'd say care to join me, but I take it you already have?"

Option D: Elif

"Oh hey, come in, come in. Please make yourself comfortable," She assured them as she ushered her next client into her office. She'd be lying if she said business hadn't been slow recently, which one likely wouldn't expect with a therapist's office given how much had been going on in town these days. From the attacks to a witch getting their magic stripped to a death curse, you would think, now, more than ever, her scheduled would be booked solid. But, instead, the office almost felt like a ghost town. As if people were too afraid to attempt to start to process what they had collectively gone through, let alone talk about it. The chill in the air these days was unsettling to say the least. But, thankfully, there was one brave soul who had come to see her today and maybe that alone was hope.

[crispycreambacon]

Hi y'all. I hope you all are well :)

Happy new year first of all. If you're still here with us, thank you. Thank you for getting through 2024, and thank you for being here. I hope 2025 will be kind to you 🫂

Second of all, I'm not sure if anyone is still here, but if there is someone: I'm sorry for disappearing so suddenly. Life really got in the way due to college, and I can't guarantee this next semester of college won't be very busy for me either. I've been trying to work on my personal life, and part of that was avoiding social media. I'd like to come back, but I'll be reducing the amount of time I spend on here.

If you'd like to know more about what else has happened to me, read on. If not, I wish you well, and I hope you'll still welcome me with open arms.

CW // TRANSPHOBIA, MENTAL HEALTH

If I can be vulnerable for a minute: things have gotten really bad for me last December. I came out to my mom, and it went so badly that I ran away for a little bit. I came back for personal reasons, but now I live with parents who refuse to acknowledge my identity and continue to refer to me with my deadname and AGAB. Moreover, I got triggered really badly at some point during the holidays, and it has led to me realizing I can't keep living like this. I need help.

Thankfully, my college provides mental health services, and from what I heard from other students, they're pretty good. They also provide tests which I definitely need. I can't keep living the undiagnosed lifestyle, y'all, I need to know what's going on with my brain shsldhskshs... I have some clues though. Nothing definitive yet, but I am pretty confident in my suspicions, and whether I'm right or wrong, I just want to figure out what's going on and manage it, start to heal and move on from the trauma I've endured both as a child and now.

I hope this update will suffice. I'm eternally grateful for my friends. They have kept me from absolutely losing it, and they have stuck with me at my worst moments. I love them so dearly, and if they are reading this: thank you :)💞

And to everyone else, thank you for taking the time to read. I'd love to know how y'all have been, so please let me know. I love you all. Please stay safe, and may life bring you the happiness you deserve 🫂

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it

Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.

[crepuscular-girlthing]

every few days i think "i should get into X" [fragrances, drawing again, hi-fi audiophile hardware, makeup, fashion, jewelry, shoes, reading theory, reading sci-fi/fantasy, reading poetry, reading classic literature, making good coffee, personalizing my software ecosystem, exercising, hair styling, skincare, photography, painting, collectables of various kinds, houseplants, birdwatching, identifying local plants, video games] and then i remember im fucking disabled and can barely keep up with taking care of my body and one relationship

[inamindfarfaraway]

Do you ever think about Azula after Zuko's banishment and before she was sent on her mission? About the time it was just her and Ozai? Because I do.

Her worst fear is being what Zuko is to their father. It's easy to look at her smirking while she watches Ozai light Zuko’s face on fire and think that she enjoys her brother’s suffering, but from the day she was born, Zuko has been the bad example. The scapegoat. The failure she exists to surpass. Where he is disrespectful, she will be obedient. Where he is weak, she will be strong. She will make Ozai proud. She will be perfect. She has to be. Because if she isn’t -

well, in that moment she sees that for herself. Iroh looks away, but she doesn’t. This eleven-year-old child watches the whole gory scene that her experienced general uncle can’t stomach, because this is a lesson for her as well, that’s why Father had her be here, and so she must not let herself tremble or cry or flinch or scream. Zuko is. That means she can’t. Instead she will do the exact opposite, smile with a princess’s proper posture.

Then Zuko is banished. He will most likely never return - most likely die young. He isn’t around to be the foil under her jewel anymore, making her shine brighter simply by contrast. (Or to play with her or comb her hair. But it isn’t useful or becoming to miss those moments. She isn’t a child anymore; her childhood was burned through like Zuko’s skin.) All Ozai’s attention is on her. All her people’s hope in the next generation of royalty is pinned her. If she doesn’t hold her shoulders back and her head high, she will collapse under the weight of her nation’s future. Zuko got what he deserved. Just as whatever happens to her, she deserves it too.

How many nightmares does she have? How many times does she flinch or shake when her father touch her? Or force herself not to? How many times does she smell burning hair and flesh and hear her brother’s agony when she spoke her own opinion in a war meeting? How much does she secretly grieve him, and scold herself for it?

[lovelywingsart]

'I'm a cage, I'm a prison for what no one sees

Ashamed like I'm sleeping with the enemy

No one believes me, but I'm six feet deep

It's a monster made of memories

It's alive, like a parasite inside of me

And it feeds of the trauma of what used to be

But there's no shred of evidence 'cause I don't bleed

From this monster made of memories'

'Monster Made of Memories' - Citizen Soldier

-

Trauma fucking sucks, man...

Karl agrees.

-

//Did I just use Karl as a venting device?

Yes.

Did it make me feel better?

Also yes. Kinda.

I'm just... really tired, honestly... The song hit hard about a week ago and I've had this in my head since.

Yes, Heisenberg is a 'villain'... But I'll be damned if I don't understand.//

[dangerdragoncat]

Picnic time!!

[coachbeards]

do you guys ever stop and think about beard being arrested and….being forced into detox while in police custody. bc lbr. it was like 2000 in kansas, and the police aren’t exactly known for helping or caring for those they arrest, especially addicts. beard being handcuffed, going through withdrawal all alone and without any proper medical care.,,,yeah.

[calmmyfears]

i really envy people who are so self confident, so freely without anxiety of bothering others. i mean, i would love not to care about what others think all the time and blast my music with the windows open. i'm not being sarcastic or anything, i really would love reaching that point of healing that i can make noise and live loud and proud without ptsd holding me back.

[biitchcakes]

❝ which is so far from the TRUTH that my BIG GREEN FRIEND might actually be running for CONGRESS. ❞

[nightmareb1tch]

THE SPARROWS WERE VICTIMS OF REGINALD'S ABUSE TOO! LET THEM BE FLAWED VICTIMS! THEY ARE PERFECT TO ME, BUT STILL!

*I scream as no one listens*