#now i can listen to music in school without ads and also without breaking the rules. huzzah

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

ITS ALIVE

[militarywifesvt]

Defending the quiet

Pairing : bestfriend!seungcheol / student! seungcheol x student!reader /bestfriend!reader

Summary : he couldn't stand up for himself , so you did it instead .

Genre : fluff

Warnings : bullying , seungcheol being insecure about his belly ( people need to seek help fr )

A/n : since btches can't shut up about coups' cute little belly , here's what I would do if they bullied him in front of me . Also this is kinda inspired by the Bollywood movie " dunki " I've been crying since I watched it :( . The song is from the movie when she was the first person to defend him and he instantly fell in love🫠 . Ok I'll shut up now , enjoy !

At such a young age , seungcheol was miles away from anyone at his age . When they worried about exams and midterms , seungcheol was flying interviews and photoshoots with famous brands . Of course he was popular at school , all eyes were on him every time he enters a classroom . He never liked this spotlight , and wished people would treat him like a normal person . And he found that wish in you , his best friend of almost 10 years now . You never cared about his fame or his growing audience . to you , he was just cheol . The person you would share your snacks with in 3rd grade , the person who would laugh at your jokes no matter how cringe or awful they are .

But in his last comeback , things took an awful turn . Sure , the song was fantastic , multiple days at number one , international awards , millions of streams and still counting . The album wasn't the problem . The problem is that some insecure imbeciles had a lot of things to say about seungcheol's belly . According to them , he was fat or whatever . But in reality , his belly looked completely normal . His picture spread really fast , and even people from the school saw it , and now , everyone is talking about it . That made you really frustrated , and you noticed a lot of changes in seungcheol's mood . You tried to hype him up like you usually do , crack a few jokes , buy him ice cream which he refused to eat saying he's on a diet . But nothing worked , so you gave up , but always stayed by his side just in case he needed someone to talk to .

The next day , you were sitting next to seungcheol during break . You and some other students decided to stay in the classroom . Seungcheol didn't talk much , but you yapped anyway , because you know he's listening . Suddenly , a group of classmates approached you two . And with an ugly , mocking voice he said :

" hey seungcheol , didn't take you a six pack to be rich and famous , huh ? "

He laughed even louder while another one added

" I guess money can buy success , just not a gym membership "

They continued mocking him like he doesn't have feelings . You thought he would stand up for himself . How could he not , right ? He always defended you when people mocked you . But to your surprise , he stayed silent , head looking at the floor , barely blinking . Then , something inside you snapped .

“ And who do you think you are to talk to him like that ?” your voice cut through the room silencing every person who was whispering and gossiping about him . “ Just shut up. You think you’re better than him when you obviously look like that ? He’s out there changing lives with his music and talent while you sit in the same chair every day , rotting in your own arrogance . You would quit after one bad day if you were in his shoes . "

You answered without hesitation , your eyes blazing with a fire no one can take down . Every word came out sharp, fueled by pure loyalty and frustration you had held inside for too long. Your voice cut through the classroom , turning the mockery back on them with the weight of truth . Seungcheol looked surprised at your action . He never saw you this mad , he couldn't even say a word to calm you down , he just looked at you with pure shock in his eyes , with a tight feeling in his chest he couldn't quite understand . And what caught him completely off guard was the moment you gently grabbed his wrist, your voice soft as a whisper, urging him to get up , before leading him quietly out of the classroom , leaving everyone stunned by your action . In that instant , A sudden warmth grew in seungcheol's chest , steady and impossible to ignore . It wasn’t just your touch or voice , it was how nobody has stood up for him before . Usually , people leave him when things get hard , but you didn't. You were the first person to be there and stand up for him when no one else did . In that moment, his heart sped up, and he realized he had fallen head first , in love with you .

Getting into longer fics these days , I might write a part two~

[hellfirenacht]

Wing Man Part 4

Fic Summary: Steve ‘the Hair’ Harrington is your best friend, and is constantly striking out. Sick of this, you two make a deal; you’ll wing man for each other. Hooking Steve up with dates is easy, but he finds himself struggling to find you a date. At least, until Dustin starts talking about his new cool friend Eddie.

Chapter Summary: Well, the arcade was a bust, but maybe going to a local dive bar and listening to music will yield better results.

4k words

a/n: This chapter is shorter than usual because my brain fried when writing it at work lol But we finally get to talk to Eddie without Steve cockblocking (too much)

Series Master List

Proof read? You have no proof I can read.

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It wasn’t until Monday after school that Dustin was able to make his way back to Family Video. After the night at the arcade, he’d been caught up with sneaking chats with Suzie and spending time with his mother. Not to mention the dentist appointment that caused him to miss a good chunk of Monday morning. If anything, dating and matchmaking be damned, Dustin had earned the treat of renting a movie and shoving candy into his newly cleaned teeth. 

The freshman walked in, said hi to you and walked shamelessly into the back while you called after him half-heartedly that he wasn’t supposed to go back there before turning back to your conversation with Robin. 

“Jesus, Henderson you can’t just barge into the back of any job I get!” Steve said as he sat in the break room. “I’m going to have to say no to you at some point.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ve talked about this.” Dustin said, sitting next to him in the small room, grabbing some of Steve’s chips. “Anyway, has she said anything about Saturday night?”

Steve watched in annoyance as his friend helped himself to his lunch. “No, she hasn’t said anything about what happened. When I clocked in she said she didn’t want to talk about it.” 

“Probably because we might have... totally ditched her.” Dustin admitted. “On accident! It wasn’t my idea!” He added quickly as Steve gaped at him. 

“What?!” Steve was surprised. “Wait, what happened?”

“Well when the two of you left, Eddie decided that we were done and we all went to get pizza instead.” Dustin said. “I saw her when we were leaving.”

“Shit. So he saw her leave with me, which probably didn’t help.” Steve groaned. “Did Eddie say anything about her?”

“Yeah he... said he wasn’t interested.” 

“Really? Shit. I knew he was a freak, but I didn’t think he had bad taste.”

“Why aren’t you dating her?” Dustin asked. “You won’t date Robin and now you won’t date her? Are you allergic to dating cool girls or something?”

“Robin and I are just friends.” Steve said firmly. “And who said I didn’t try to date her? I tried to ask her out once but she turned me down. She said I was ‘too normal’.”

There were tears streaming down Dustin’s face two minutes later from how hard he was laughing at that. Steve Harrington could get any girl in town, and got shot down by the wierdo. 

“Yeah, yeah, get it out of your system, Henderson.” Steve groaned. 

“She’s too good for you, Steve.” Dustin finally managed to say, calming himself down. 

“So Eddie was a bust so I guess I’m back to square one.” Steve sighed. “I guess I could take her out to a bar and help her get numbers. If she can keep herself from saying something too weird for at least ten minutes it’d be easy.”

But it didn’t feel right. You already knew what you wanted, and any bar in town would just be filled with the same normal, boring people that you’d never had an interest in. 

“You know... Eddie’s band plays at the Hideout.” Dustin said suddenly. 

“Yeah, I thought we just established that wasn’t an option.” Steve frowned. 

“Okay but hear me out, she liked Eddie, right?” 

“Yeah, so?” 

“So? So if she liked Eddie then she’d probably like someone who also likes Eddie. He told me that people come to watch his band play specifically.” Dustin was grinning wide. 

“Henderson, you might be onto something.” Steve was starting to follow his friend’s logic. “If his fans like him, then she’d probably like his fans.”

“Precisely, Steve!” 

The two of them grinned at each other as if they’d just cracked the code to helping you out. However, Steve was only aware of half the plan. That night at the arcade hadn’t been sitting right with Dustin since Eddie tore out of there like a bat out of hell with the rest of the club in tow. He’d seen the way Eddie had stolen glances at you when he thought no one was looking, and only Eddie could miss the way you had been staring at him as the two of you talked. 

Dustin wasn’t sure what the hell Eddie’s problem was saying he wasn’t interested, but if Steve was giving him a chance to be nosy and meddle he was going to take it. You had been nice to Dustin this summer, and after starting the new hell that was high school he wanted to help you out. Eddie had been the only person who had been nice to him and Mike in school, and you had been nice out of it. 

If this didn’t work he’d leave Steve to his own problem, but Dustin had this one last trick up his sleeve. 

“So Eddie’s never talked about having an interest in anyone before?” Steve asked as he tossed his trash and handed over the remaining chips to Dustin. 

“Not really. Jeff mentioned that he used to have a thing for some girl named Ronnie, and they all act really cagey about someone else named Paige.” Dustin said with a shrug. 

“I have no idea who those people are.” 

“I don’t either, they don’t talk about it much.” 

“Alright, well I guess we’re gonna go to the Hideout.” Steve decided. “Wait, isn’t his band him and a bunch of high schoolers? How are they even allowed to play in a bar?”

“It’s a bar, not a club, Steve. They can be there, they just can’t drink. Legally.” Dustin decided not to share that Eddie had one or two fake IDs that the barkeeps were happy to overlook for Eddie at least. 

“What do you know about clubs?” Steve was surprised. “The only club you should know about is your weird fantasy club.”

“I watch MTV, I know how some things work!” 

The banter between the two continued until you showed up in the break room. 

“Steve, your break ended fifteen minutes ago. If you get your butt to the front I’ll fudge the time sheet and say you just forgot to clock back in.” you said. “And Dustin, honey, I love you. You aren’t supposed to be back here. Actually, I don’t care because you’re a good kid. Just ask before you barge in, okay? If Keith’s here I’ll actually have to enforce that.” 

“Yes, Ma’am!” Dustin gave you a salute as the two of them made their way back to the front. When Steve took his place behind the counter, Dustin took a piece of paper out of his bag and handed it over. 

“What’s this?” Steve took the paper, looking at the list of movie titles. 

“My payment. I want these movies for my services. We had an agreement.” 

“Jesus, Henderson you’re gonna give yourself nightmares with these.” 

“Nothing’s been scarier than what we’ve been through.”

“Fair enough.” 

You looked to be as thrilled to be at the Hideout on a Tuesday night as you would be at the DMV. You didn’t have anything against the place, but you didn’t have anything for it either. You’d been to bars a few times with friends with varying degrees of enjoyment. Hell, this wasn’t even the first time you’d been to this bar. Hawkin’s didn’t exactly have the biggest variety of places to drink in town, and this place was the town’s “old reliable”. Cheap enough for the blue collar workers to enjoy a cold beer after work, but with enough variety to have the young adults of the town fill up the booths on the weekends. 

It was not the weekend though, it was a Tuesday night. A weird night for Steve to drag you out to a bar to help you get a date. As you swung your body on the barstool waiting on your drink you glanced around. There was a small, cramped stage set up in the back and a few older men were hanging around. 

“So... Steve not to be terribly picky and not to sound ungrateful, but I’m not so sure about this.” You said, scanning the bar for anyone who didn’t look old enough to be your dad or grandpa. 

“There’s a band that’s supposed to play tonight.” Steve said, pointing over to the stage. “I heard they’re about our age so I thought it’d be worth a shot.”

“A band?” You considered it. “What type of music are they supposed to play?”

“I think it’s a metal band.”

You snorted into your soda. “A metal band? In Hawkins? Oh, this I have to see.” You hopped off the stool to make your way over to the cork board that was covered in advertisements for the town. You scanned it until you found a flier that had been covered partially by an advertisement for lawn care. 

CORRODED COFFIN- TUESDAY NIGHTS 

That must have been it. It didn’t give you any information about the band, other than the name and when they played. The logo was hastily drawn on in black and red markers as if putting this up was a last minute idea. You pulled the paper off the board and repositioned it so that it was front and center instead. There, that was your good deed for the day; giving a small band an additional 8.5 by 11 inches of visibility. 

“As usual, I have learned nothing.” You declared, taking your seat again. “I have a name and that’s it.”

“What’s the band called?” Steve asked. 

“Corroded Coffin.” you replied. “Shouldn’t you know? This was your idea!”

“I was just told there was a metal band that played, I wasn’t given a name.” Steve had been given the name and immediately forgot in the near endless ramblings that Dustin had gone on about. 

“You’re gonna think I’m crazy-”

“I already do.” 

You laughed and continued. “You’re gonna think I’m crazy but the name sounds familiar.” Your legs were swinging off the stool, leaning back against the bar with your elbows. “How can you forget a name like that?” 

Easily. Thought Steve. 

A few more people were starting to show up now, though it was still pretty dead and slow. Even as people shuffled in and out of the small bar, there was no sign of anyone who you’d deem “age appropriate” for you. 

“So you tried to set me up with a high schooler and now it looks like you’re trying to hook me up with someone twice my age.” You joked. 

“Yeah, I was hoping there’d be more people here to choose from.” Steve looked around the room. Dustin had said that this band was supposed to have a crowd but he wasn’t seeing evidence of that anywhere. 

“Ah well, even if tonight is another bust we can still have fun.” you gave him a playful punch. “If the band is bad we can bond over that, and if they’re good you probably won’t appreciate it and I’ll subject you to my every thought about it.”

“You do that anyway.” Steve breathed out a small laugh.

“I’ll be worse, cross my heart.” 

It wasn’t long until the doors to the Hideout opened again, with two highschoolers struggling to fit a drum set through the doors. You snickered as they twisted the parts trying to adjust the bulky equipment. That’s right, the circular drum goes through the square hole. 

“Steve, high schoolers.” you whispered. “Again?!” 

But then you realized that the two teenagers looked familiar. Familiar in a fresh way. Familiar in a ‘Hey, didn’t I just see you the other day?’ way. Your stomach twisted as they finally managed to get through the door and make their way to the stage for set up. 

“Hey, Steve, these kids look- shit.” 

Your heart leapt in a way you didn’t expect when the man you’d poorly attempted to get to know just a few days ago walked through the door with a guitar case strapped to his back. He was laughing with another member of the band as they carried in an amp. Eddie didn’t even look your way as they made their way to set up on stage. 

He played guitar. Of course he played guitar in a metal band. Jesus Christ, you were actually going to murder Steve and Dustin if this whole situation wasn’t going to kill you first. Eddie dropped his leather jacket on the side of the stage, leaving him in a band shirt that you couldn’t make out the name of in the dim lights. He had really nice arms (how had you missed the tattoos last week??), and the way he was smiling so genuinely and joking around with his friends made you feel fuzzy on the inside. He hadn’t looked like that when you two were talking-

“You’re drooling again.” Steve said. 

You shook your head and quickly turned around, putting your back to the stage. 

“Steve... what the fuck.” You hissed, glaring at him. “I know I didn’t exactly share what happened on Saturday, but I thought it was pretty clear that it didn’t go well.” 

“Listen, I had no- I” Steve couldn’t lie to you. “Henderson said he’d be playing tonight, but I swear I’m not trying to hook you two up again. I really thought that when he said there’d be a crowd there’d be more freaks here!” 

You smacked your head on the bar a few times with a groan. “It was so awkward. I told him I’d be right back but then when I went back in everyone was gone. He wasn’t interested in me.” 

“His loss.” Steve said. “Listen, we’ll stick around for a few songs and if no one else shows up then we can leave, deal?” 

“Deal.”

You tried to ignore the pounding in your heart as you pointedly refused to turn around. You didn’t even know why you cared so much that Eddie was there again. You had only talked for a half hour before he left, but the man had stuck in your mind since that night. 

You had been attracted to guys before, but Eddie was on some other level. 

“So, are you stalking me now, Harrington?”

FUCK. 

“Nah man, just in the mood to do something different tonight.” Steve said, trying his hardest to play nice. He had to remember that this was for you, even though he was starting to like Eddie less after his disinterest in you. 

“I didn’t take you as a man with music taste.” Eddie said. You hated that this man seemed to always sneak up on you. You finished off your drink and turned around to join the conversation before Steve made things worse. 

Fuck it. It’s not like this could be any more awkward than how things were left off. You might as well have some fun. 

“Actually this was my idea.” You said, lying through your teeth with a grin. “Steve here knows nothing about good music, so I thought I’d show him a little culture.”

Steve was now looking at you with his jaw dropped, wondering where the hell that came from. He looked offended, and Eddie? Eddie’s eyebrows shot up as recognition crossed his features as he looked at you. 

“So you like metal?” Eddie said, his gaze now locked on yours. You felt an odd pounding in your heart as you looked up into those amazingly round brown eyes. “What’s your favorite band?”

It wasn’t a challenge. There was nothing in his tone to indicate that he was about to turn into a total dick about music, and that both put you at ease and made your attraction to him far worse. 

“Well, Black Sabbath is always good.” you thought. “But I’m gonna have to go with WASP. I’d rate them a 69 out of 10 for being so damn horny in their songs.” 

Eddie’s eyes lit up and he smiled wide, the same kind of smile he’d just given his band mates a few minutes ago. You licked your lips and felt Steve kick your foot, probably signaling you to stop drooling. 

“So someone in this town does have good taste!“ Eddie was moving around more now, taking a few paces back and then back towards you clapping his hands. 

“I don’t like to limit myself.” You said. “I’m always looking for new sounds and music. It’s like I feel like I’m suffocating if it gets too quiet.”

You winced internally at the statement, knowing that it was probably off putting but to your surprise Eddie only got more excited. 

“Exactly!” He practically yelled.

How was it so easy to talk to him, and so hard at the same time? Why was it that every conversation so far had ended so awkwardly when moments like this felt easy? 

“So how long have you been playing?” you asked, looking over at the stage where he’d set his case down. 

“The band’s been playing together since we were in middle school, I started playing guitar around fifth grade. We’ve had a rotating cast of members, so I started it, and Jeff’s been there the longest after me.” he pointed to a member fiddling with his bass. “Zack and Gareth joined in high school.” 

“And was Chris Morrison ever part of this band?” you teased. 

“Fuck no!.” Eddie laughed. “My uncle would say that Chris couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket with a lid on. He tried to play manager. Tried. After seeing how he ran his campaigns, I wasn’t interested.”

“Didn’t he also run for student council once?” 

“You remember those posters?!” there was a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Oh, he never ran. The rest of us were so done with how he was running Hellfire we put those up detailing why he was shit at leadership.”

“You’re kidding!” you gaped. “Jesus, you guys are weird.”

Eddie bent down in a joking bow. “I got a week’s detention for that stunt. I wasn’t the one who made most of them, but Higgin’s always had it out for me. Still does.” He mumbled that last part mostly to himself.

“Why do you two keep talking about Chris Morrison?” Steve asked, and you suddenly remembered that he was there too. Whoops.

“Common thread, apparently.” you shrugged. “It’s too easy to rag on the guy.”

“You had to be there.” Eddie said, as if you and Eddie were sharing connected memories that you were both part of rather than piecing together fragments of a puzzle where you were both corner pieces. The same picture, but never touching. 

At least, as far as you were aware. 

Steve was looking at you as if you were both insane. He was probably right. 

“Okay, okay Steve’s right. I don’t want to talk about Chris fucking Morrison anymore.” you said. “How long have you been playing here, at the Hideout?”

“Every Tuesday for about 2 years, give or take.” Eddie said. “We started monthly, but we get a crowd now so they asked us to play weekly.”

“A crowd.” You nodded, looking around the dead bar. “Damn, I must be pretty lucky to have the front man talking to me when you have all these people here to see you.” Behind the joke, the tone you used was sincere and playful all at once. You sat up a little straighter, leaning towards him on your barstool. 

That was a flirt. You just flirted. There was no taking that back. You were gonna have to commit now. 

There was something boyish about the smile he returned, calm and relaxed. “Oh yeah, you should feel special. As you can see we have a crowd of about-” he turned to the rest of the bar, counting the patrons. “-Right, about four drunks. I guess Tim’s out today.” 

“Well, make that four and a half drunks and also Steve is here.” you shook Steve’s shoulder playfully. 

“Half?” Steve looked at you, pushing your hand off. 

“I drove here, I can’t get wasted. But I can have one or two drinks and be fine.”

“Well, if you happen to bite off more than you can chew, I have room in my van for you.” Eddie said. “I could give you a ride.” 

Well, that wasn’t what you had expected. Your stomach was flipping like an acrobat at the suggestion. He was offering you a ride home if you wanted to drink? After he’d disappeared on you? Just what was this guy's deal? 

“If I’m biting my drinks that’s cause for concern. I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to bite a drink.” Smooth, so fucking smooth. You might as well call yourself Skippy because you were as smooth as chunky peanut butter.

But Eddie just laughed and shook his head. “Yeah, you’re right. But the offer’s on the table. Or the bar, since you want to be literal.”

“I’ll think about it.” you said. “I don’t normally go home with men I just met at bars but if your band is any good I’ll consider it.”

His grin widened at that “Then I’ll be sure to tell the guys to pick up the slack tonight.” 

That was a flirt, right? Eddie just flirted back with you. That had to be right? You almost wanted him to go away so that you could confirm with Steve that your suspicions about that line were correct. 

“Eddie! Get over here and help with the amp, it’s doing the thing again!” One of the teens from the stage called out. 

Eddie sighed and looked over at his band that was messing with the amp they had brought in. “Again? Alright, I have some tape in my toolbox.” he called back to them before turning to you. HIs eyes flicked over to Steve for just a split second before meeting your eyes again. “Talk to you after the set?” 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” you said, “After all you might be my ride home.” 

And with that, Eddie turned and left.

“What was that?” Steve said immediately looking at you. “Where did that come from? Your idea? Going home with him?!”

“What?” you asked, taken aback. “You told me I should actually flirt, so I flirted!” 

“Where was all that on Saturday?! Hell, where was that for the past two months we’ve had this deal going?” Your friend was looking at you like he hardly recognized you. 

“Great question Steve, and it deserves a great answer.” you nodded. “I have no fucking clue. Maybe I’m exclusively attracted to guys that I don’t think I have a chance with?”

“He offered to drive you home.” His eyes darted over to the stage where Eddie had reappeared with a toolbox, messing with the amp. “I don’t know how you missed it but he was flirting with you.”

“Oh, good, I thought I was losing it.” you laughed. “Glad we got that established. Cool. Loving that. Now, on one hand he’s offering me a ride home. On the other hand, to get this supposed ride home I will have to intoxicate myself. Which sounds fun in theory but he’s also a guy I barely know.”

It should have been sketchy, it really really should have been. The only man you would trust to get your drunk ass home without worry right now would be Steve. 

“Hey, can I get another one of these, please?” you asked the bartender, holding up your glass. 

Once your refill came, you grabbed the drink and stood up. The band was finishing up the sound check and it looked like they were about to start. 

“Come on, I want to sit closer. I’m feeling reckless tonight.” You grabbed Steve’s arm and dragged him to a table closer to the stage. Eddie made his way to the mic and smiled at you and your raised your glass to him with a smile. 

“Thanks for coming out tonight, we’re Corroded Coffin and we’re here to make you feel like you’re fighting demons in hell!”

It was in that horrible, terrifying moment when the lights dimmed and the sound of an electric guitar ripped through the air,  that you realized something; you were going to end the night with the biggest, stupidest, useless crush on Eddie Munson and there was nothing you could do about it. 

Part 5

Dividers by @strangergraphics

I would also like to note that this is a work of fiction. You're allowed to make questionable decisions when playing with fake scenarios. Just roll with it.

Tag List: @k8loo @terrormonster55 @sp1dyb0y1008 @crocwork-clockodile @ali-r3n @mxcheese @josephquinnschesthair @gagasbee @peaches-roses-sins @witchwolflea @vintagehellfire @royale1803 @cumslutforaemond @prestinalove @browneyedgirly93 @perpetualmess @thebook-hobbit @mistonk @cultish-corner @grishaversecaptivated @sortagaysortahigh

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - March 20

@teasiswriter, 14 anon, fearless anon, calico critters anon (new), a very scared almost-adult anon (tw)

@teasiswriter

Helloooo! I love your blog so much and I have a question/was wondering if you had any advice on getting independence and stuff as a teenager?

School break started a while ago for me and I’m stuck at home since I can’t drive yet, my dad never wants to go outside, my moms not home for a few days, and I’ve been feeling really stuck. I want to go out and do stuff, but I either get too scared to go with someone (which leads to the problem of being stuck at home and not being able to go anywhere without my parents, who already kinda stifle/suffocate me) or when I even want to hang out with my parents (which leads to me having to mask a LOT more around them). Even when I don’t go out and instead try to hang out with my parents (my dad especially) I get ignored. Like, how can someone hear their child try to talk to them, and literally just ignore them until they walk away? I was trying to practice my Greek Declamation stuff with my dad but he literally ignored me when I would call his name, scrolled on instagram the whole time, and interrupted me by showing me a meme about politics???????

Like??? How??? I cannot comprehend ignoring someone and making them feel small on purpose to their face????

It’d be like:

Me: *Practices in Greek and tries to get my dad to repeat after me, since he knows it helps with my memory and he VOLUNTEERED to help*

Dad: *stays quiet, scrolls on his phone at full volume, and ignores me when I call his name*

Me: Dad, dad, dad, please listen, dad, hello? Please?

Dad: continues to ignore me

Me: Okay… never mind *Continues to practice in greek*

Dad: *interrupts my declamation by shoving his phone screen into my face* HAHA. Look at this political ad… really shows the times we’re in right now…

Sorry this turned into a vent! I guess I was just REALLY stuck on the prospect of blatantly and genuinely ignoring someone, which is kinda why I really want to just get out and GO somewhere. The weather’s so moody and it feels like fall somehow, and it’s a great temperature for sweaters, AND I have a bike and places to go that are near me, but I just am stuck here?? I mean, I know my family’s full of introverts (including me) but even THEY have to get bored of staying at home, right? I had to make my dad go out with me to a restaurant and karate practice, and if I hadn’t had done that then we’d have stayed in the house, without going outside for like 10 days straight

Sorry again, I think I just needed a rambling session. I’m gonna text my friend and cheer myself up by talking with them. I definitely need some human interaction. Hope you’re doing good! Byeeeeee

(P.s. I am 75% done with my Greek declamation! Just one more stanza to go!)

Hi!!

Honestly, I think you should talk to your dad about how he acted. That's not okay at alll and I understand why you're hurt. Is he the type of parent who would respond well if you calmly told him that you were hurt by his actions?

As far as interacting with others, could you have people over to your house if you're not comfortable going out? That way you're still being social but not having to do something you're not comfortable with? Also maybe just going on walks around the neighborhood to gain some independence by doing things by yourself? Remember, even little things are better than nothing.

Don't be sorry at ALL, you're always welcome to rant <3

____

14 anon

14 anon

My mum called universal credit today and they said that rent is going through then blah blah and soon we’ll get a letter showing how much rent is covered by UC and we’re just hoping that it stays the same (or gets better but that’s unlikely)

Onto other things

I chose my options last Friday which is basically when in year 9 (8th grade) you choose subjects to do gcse exams on. I chose history, Spanish, sociology and music as a backup.

I’m mainly in the special needs class at my school but today I did my first English lesson in a normal, higher tier class and I loved ittt. I’m sat next to a girl I know from my maths lessons with the same group and the other girl I know is in front of me and it was just really good.

(It’s been a bit better with my mum recently)

Hi!

I'm so glad things seem better for you! And that's so exciting about your new classes! I'm so happy for you <3 I know when school is enjoyable it makes it a lot easier to succeed.

__________

fearless anon

hi cas it's fearless anon (again)

the thing is i can't really hate my parents but at the same time i can't do this anymore. i'm so sick of their constant guilting, their whole "we know what's best for you and you don't know shit" attitude, and the pressure. they gave me such a complex so now every time i fuck up, it feels even worse than it should and i just feel broken like something went wrong with me and it feels unfixable. i could deal with their anger because then i could be angry back, i could blame them and hate them and that would be so much easier than their disappointment because than i can't blame anyone but myself.

i don't want to have a complicated relationship with my parents. i wish it was just simple, because i love them, but i can never love them fully because what they've said and done hurt and i don't think i'll ever be able to see past that but i can't hate my parents either, never fully at any rate, because we've had our good moments and there have been fun times along the way.

they say they're always proud of me and that they love me, and always will, but it still feels like it's conditional and i hate that i can't remember the last time it didn't feel that way.

Hi!

I think the thing is, there's a happy medium between hating your parents and basing your self-worth on their approval. And please understand, that's a VERY hard thing to do. I'm a full-grown adult and I still struggle with it. But as you grow older, you start to realize that your parents' opinions are just that- opinions. your parents may be good people, but they're flawed, just like everyone else, so they can be wrong and do wrong things. so it's okay to have your own opinions about what's right for you (as long as you aren't rude to your parents). And, most importantly, it's okay to feel good about your choices even if your parents don't. It doesn't mean you hate them, it just means you have different goals for yourself than they do.

I know it's hard <3 but please know that you're not broken and I;m sure you have a LOT to be proud of. I'm proud of you!

__________

Calico critters anon

Help! I’m the kind of autistic person that collects things and I’ve been obsessed with Monster High for like two years but now I wanna buy Calico Critters but I don’t want to betray my dolls. I still love my dolls very much and I’ll definitely keep collecting them, but it feels wrong to spend my money on smth else after two years of spending it solely on Monster High dolls. (I’m sixteen so that’s why I can spend all my money on toys instead of taxes.)

Hi!

I understand what you mean because sometimes after you've hyperfixated on something for so long, it feels weird that it starts taking up a different space in your heart. But remember that even as your likes change, that doesn't change the fact that Monster High dolls were important to you (and still can be important to you) for a very long time. Buying a new thing doesn't take away from the love you already have.

I feel like I'm explaining poorly so I'm gonna try another way.

I've been writing marauders fanfic for two years, right? Let's say I decide to write hunger games fanfic. That doesn't mean I suddenly don't like the marauders. It doesn;t take away from the emotions and work I poured into those two years of fics. It doesn't change how much that fandom helped me through tough times and how much that fandom changed me. It doesn't erase all of those amazing things, and it's not a betrayal because I'm not forgetting that or badmouthing that. I would just be starting with a second fandom that can bring me even more joy.

Same idea, you know?

I hope that makes sense <3

_____

a very scared almost-adult anon (tw-si)

hi <3

so...I know you're worried about money and all that and I don't necessarily have the answers for that. but I do have to say that I don't think your deadline is fair.

18 is an insane time to have to have your life figured out by. I still thought I was straight when I was 18, and I had no idea what nonbinary even meant! I had just left home when i was 18. I hadn't met my absolute best friends yet when i was 18 and I had no idea who my wife was.

You need to cut yourself some slack and give yourself some time to figure life out more. I am being completely genuine when I say that college was one the most amazing, life-changing times of my life.

And like....to be blunt and logical....why not at least try college? You could be denying yourself something amazing by making a permanent decision now. To add to that...I absolutely guarantee you that if you were to make that permanent decision, the LAST thing your parents would be thinking about is money.

I think it would be amazing if you could talk to an adult in your life about how you're feeling. But at least consider trying to see what college has to offer. Most colleges have counseling services as well. I also have a link to crisis hot lines in my pinned post, which could be a great resource.

I know life is scary and complicated and confusing, but there are so many amazing things ahead for you. I promise <3

Please write to me any time, and I am sending you so much love!

[magicshopaholic]

Get to know me

I was tagged by @jihopesjoint and @daechwitatamic <3

WHAT'S THE ORIGIN OF YOUR BLOG TITLE?

I wanted a catchy name with a pun but not aligned to any particular member. I'd drawn up a list; Magic Shop is one of my favourite BTS songs so this is the one I ended up choosing.

FAVORITE FANDOMS?

In k-pop, I haven't quite ventured out of BTS much. I was starting with SVT but with lack of time over the last year or so, it's been tough.

OTP(s)/SHIPNAME?

No real-life romantic/sexual ships for me but in terms of friendship and banter, Jimin x Taehyung and Seokjin x Jungkook kill me.

FAVORITE COLOR?

Anything dusty - teal, rose, lavender, mauve, rust, etc.

FAVORITE GAME?

I'm not really a gamer tbh but I had a phase during Covid where I obsessively played Real Racing (this close to earning enough points to buy my own Red Bull)

SONG STUCK IN YOUR HEAD?

In this very moment, End of Beginning by Djo

WEIRDEST HABIT/TRAIT?

I read newspapers back to front - idk why, I've done it since I was a kid

HOBBIES?

Writing, reading, dance, working out

IF YOU WORK, WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION?

I'm a product manager in an MNC 🥲

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WISH, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

I always thought I would love to be an author but lately I've realised that while I love writing, career-wise I would have loved to be in publishing as an editor or brand manager

SOMETHING YOU'RE GOOD AT?

Writing, dance and making killer Powerpoint decks

SOMETHING YOU'RE BAD AT?

Cooking, making decisions

SOMETHING YOU LOVE?

My dogs, my husband, Asian food, quiet weekends, a clean kitchen

SOMETHING YOU COULD TALK ABOUT FOR HOURS OFF THE CUFF?

My dogs, animals in general, fantasy fiction, Formula 1

SOMETHING YOU HATE?

Road trips, lack of planning

SOMETHING YOU COLLECT?

I don’t think I really collect things but I do love listening to and adding songs from different places/countries I visit. My Spotify playlists are all multi-lingual :)

SOMETHING YOU FORGET?

I have this horrible habit of constantly getting distracted and forgetting what I was about to do. But in particular I forget names of people that I’ve worked with, which doesn’t bode well for my job tbh

WHAT'S YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE?

Acts of service, help and support

FAVORITE MOVIE/SHOW?

Movie - Flipped, Nowhere Boy; Show - Breaking Bad

FAVORITE FOOD?

Asian food - and that includes anywhere in Asia. The spicier the better

FAVORITE ANIMAL?

Dogs

ARE YOU MUSICAL?

I have learnt dance from a very young age, different forms of it, and that naturally made me very in tune with the music it was set to. So I’ve always loved music, can’t go anywhere without listening to it - but I never learnt any instruments or had singing lessons.

WHAT WERE YOU LIKE AS A CHILD?

Loud and chirpy and oversmart. Literally, kids like me are the worst ones :/

FAVORITE SUBJECT AT SCHOOL?

Maths, English, Economics

LEAST FAVORITE SUBJECT?

Anything jn the social studies space, or my second and third languages

WHAT'S YOUR BEST CHARACTER TRAIT?

I think I’m empathetic? although my tolerance for bullshit has dipped severely with age, but I think I’m also good at looking at problems rationally

WHAT'S YOUR WORST CHARACTER TRAIT?

A little birdy told me I can get a tad defensive when challenged or criticised

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANY DETAIL OF YOUR DAY RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Wish more than anything it was Saturday evening and not Sunday evening

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL IN TIME, WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET?

I really never know the answer to this question. Maybe Tolkien to study worldbuilding.

REC YOUR FAVE FANFICS (SPREAD THE LOVE):

I have called out my favourite authors in the past here! There aren’t too many additions to this, except maybe @daechwitatamic herself.

Tagging: @written-in-flowers @oddinary4bts @quarter-life-crisis2 @moccahobi @btsmosphere and anyone else who wants to play!

[garrettwrites]

Addition: even long distance drivers are getting fed up, and a company here has banned listening to videos/songs without earphones.

I've been going on long bus drives ever since I was young, at least twice a year, lately even more (to meet with family, and for medical reasons. For context, I'm Portuguese, our country is small, and I consider any bus trip over 2 hours long. My longest one I do twice a year is 5 hours long).

In over a decade of travelling on long distance buses in this country, NEVER have I heard the bus driver use the speaker system to warn against playing videos without earphones on the bus and/or TAKING CALLS ON SPEAKER MODE. Never.

On my last two trips, for the first time in my life, I did. Which apparently is now illegal, according to their company's policy. Which thank god, I once had a two hour trip where a man was listening to videos of his toddler son, without earphones, and I did not care about listening to the audio of a baby throwing a tantrum (an actual baby is something you gotta deal with, babies are hard to control on such trips, but videos? Come the fuck on). Or the countless people who play tiktoks and youtube shorts.

Reason? Not only is it annoying for other passengers who cannot escape your easy to prevent, unwanted videos... It was also taking a toll on the bus drivers. They don't even play the radio anymore to avoid complications. These workers drive over ten hours a day in some cases, are on the road another two or three if you count breaks, and constantly listening to unnatural noise while keeping their eyes on the road (and, as one of them said, on the rumble of the machine to know if everything is alright) is taxating. Their stress levels have increased since the pandemic, because being locked inside for over a year has made people lose sight of what's appropriate.

You talking to your travel companion on the bus (as long as you're not screaming) is fine. Sure, it might annoy someone who is very tired and wants to sleep, but it's an expected noise. It's a natural noise not being filtered by a phone or with added background music/disturbance. That is why, for example, talking on the phone in a bus drive is still permitted, but doing it on speaker is not.

Videos and music are not like that.

When you go out of your house, it's stupid to expect people will shut up and not speak to one another. It's stupid to expect children to not be outside and maybe throwing a tantrum. It's stupid to expect babies and toddlers to be locked inside a house just because you find them annoying. It's stupid to expect people won't sometimes make annoying noises (in a public transportation setting, these might be shuffling in their sit, falling asleep and snorring, sneezing/coughing, getting something out of a bag, the occasional poor soul who drops their phone/water bottle into the corridor and it clanks down the bus, someone getting a call and you briefly hearing the annoying ass ringtone, etc).

Phone noises, on the other hand, are expected to be contained. Because while the examples above cannot really be prevented (and thus aren't particularly rude), your tiktok is your tiktok. You're the one chosing and wanting to listen to it. For that, we have this marvel of technology called ear/headphones. If you have your girlfriend sitting beside you, you can share the earphones with her too. Even if I for some reason get annoyed at you gossiping with your girlfriend, I won't find it rude. If you and your girlfriend are watching game of thrones out loud on the laptop for everyone to hear, I honestly think you should go back to school to learn some etiquette.

my unpopular opinion is that i hate tiktok because now people just publicly watch loud ass videos in public spaces with no regard for anyone else. 100% it was not this bad with youtube, it’s such a different thing with tiktok. put on headphones. you are grown.

[valeisaslut]

ABOUT ME .ᐟ

a.k.a. who’s this unhinged author?

⊹ ࣪ ˖ hi! i’m valentina, but you can call me val or whatever nickname your little heart desires. 19, argentinian, fake blonde, ENFJ, april aries, proud lesbian with way too many opinions about fictional women. i’m also 5’9" — and yes, i’m adding that just so you know i have tall lesbian energy. wink wink.

my spotify acc bcos why not.

i’m currently in law school (pray for me pls), and when i’m not buried in constitutional theory or fighting for my life over civil law exams, i’m probably chain-smoking over a google doc, blasting whatever song just ruined me emotionally, and writing about messy, beautiful, feral women in love.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ my writing journey i started writing on wattpad (like most of us who romanticized angst at 13), but didn’t really start taking it seriously until january 2025. and by “seriously” i mean: pouring my whole soul into it, letting it break me open, letting it become the place where i process love and grief and longing and lust and all the versions of me that don’t always fit anywhere else. writing changed my life. it became my favorite way to make sense of the world — and my way of giving something back.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ language + learning

english isn’t my first language! i’ve studied it since i was little and went to an english academy for over 10 years, but i still make mistakes sometimes — grammatical errors, weird phrasing, rogue commas that haunt my sleep. i’m very open to constructive criticism and always looking to improve, so if you ever notice something, feel free to gently point it out!

sometimes, my writing might sound a little formal, stiff, or over-punctuated, that’s because i learned english at a very young age in a pretty academic setting, and i’m still trying to loosen up and find a more natural flow, especially in fiction. a lot of times, i write some parts of my fics in spanish first, then translate them, which can make some expressions sound a little rough around the edges. i’m working on it, i promise! writing in another language is both a challenge and a joy, and i’m just so grateful that people are willing to read and connect with it anyway ♡

⊹ ࣪ ˖ my soul runs on: — music, always. i listen to everything. music is the fuel behind almost all my writing. playlists are my love language. you can find me crying over lyrics, soundtracking entire fics before writing them, or posting unhinged song analyses in the middle of the night. — books, movies, & art. if it’s beautiful or fucked up or deeply emotional, i’m probably obsessed with it. — tumblr and creative community. i’m still figuring out how tumblr works (the cultural shift is REAL. in argentina only 1% of the population knows ab its existence), but i’m slowly finding my rhythm here. if you’re patient with me, i’ll love you forever. — LATINAS. if you’re latina, please feel free to speak spanish to me — i love seeing us in fandom spaces, in writing, in art, in horny chaotic comment sections. te amo.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ other random facts because why not: — i post playlists on spotify that are literally so sexy they might make you cry and/or start fake dating a rockstar. i accidentally did my face reveal through it. oops. now i left the pic. — i might post tiktoks or photos of myself, because this whole thing became very personal very fast and now i don’t feel like hiding hehe — i’m an emotional person, and all of this — the writing, the community, the mutuals, the messages, the stories — is very new to me. i’m still learning how to be present online without getting overwhelmed.

xoxo, val ᥫ᭡

[kennedies-art]

i think my favorite album this year is MGMT's record, Loss of Life

after growing up listening to MGMT on the radio. singing along to tracks listening a multitude of time. I began to hear the secret meanings. it maybe me feel special. as a kid when you hear a songs on the radio that secretly sings of nefarious things no child should be participating in. you feel a sense of individuality, questioning "am i supposed to be listening to this? do my parents know what this song is about?". MGMT was one of those bands for me. Songs like Time to Pretend, a break-out song for the band felt like a growth in maturity for a kid going through a lot at the time.

and no, i didn't really understand what they were singing about.

when we experience grief or trauma at a young age, it can make us start to mature at a faster age. while experiencing the death of very close grandparents, both loosing the battle to cancer. While also dealing with the troubles of catholic school, feeling different and a sense of individuality was something i yearned for. so feeling like i was participating on a secret, listening to music was a way to cope. to find my individuality and purpose.

now i am 19, turning 20 in almost a month. i am in the same place I was at when i was 12. listening to Loss of Life returns to me to the secret place i had when I was young. but with the new found maturity i had accumulated during that time.

with new issues and insecurities. fears about my future, my contribution to the world, my responsibilities to my community.

loss of light soothes the anxiety.

mother nature questions what it really means to be alive. why do things happen. why do they happen to us, why do they happen to others. but do i really have the answers? mixing the mundane of throwing away trash or dropping groceries on the front porch with the struggles of life and what it means to be human. the song examines the turbulence that is life. provides the listener with the sense that just going through life to create you own story and fairy tale is the only way to live.

to understand why things happen, only to find out that there is no reason. its okay to hesitate and be unsure of the fact. its okay to feel pain and loathe it. just owning it and living the life you wont to life is the only answer. because we don't understand mother nature, we never will.

because what gets us through life is the people we love and the connections we make. our community, our friends, our family. life is always changing for reasons we don't have answers to. but to question and be caught up in whys would only hold us back from experiencing life.

its human to question and not be content, but without the whys we wouldn't be grateful for the mundane and love the love that comes with it. it takes time to love life, and love the loss of life that is added on. but anyone can do that.

i hope mgmt keeps making music

[nightmare-deer]

I’m going in again for Alice Cooper. Adding it here to hit points i made before without repeating them. 

Here’s the thing, I have known Alice was republican for awhile now. I don’t think that was a secret. But he wasn’t like overly political in his music so I kinda ignored it to listen to songs about skeletons. 

This is that moment where I’m all “oh the joy is gone”. He hit every right wing talking point for trans hysteria that it’s not hard to see where he is getting his information. Because he really seems to be pushing this idea that trans kids are just being pushed towards that by a parent instead of considering that some parents are out there supporting their kids who are gender nonconforming even from a young age. The misconception that queerness is something that people "decide" later in life is both inaccurate and dismissive of the lived experiences of queer individuals. I was queer kid and I was queer when I was five and I can look back on my whole memory of my life and I always see me and signs pointing to who I would be. 

Alice goes on with this idea that kids couldn’t possibly have any understanding on themselves when they are young and of course has to compare it to thinking you are a cat to show how unseriously he takes the idea that a young person could feel like they are not cisgender. conservatives always talk about the idea of queer sexual orientation or gender identity being so “confusing for kids”.  I feel like what's confusing for kids is growing up thinking you have to be cisgender and heterosexual and knowing that's not who you are and always feeling shameful and wrong about it and cut off from any kind of information that could give you understanding of yourself. When children and teenagers don't see themselves represented or acknowledged in the conversations around gender and sexual orientation, it can be incredibly confusing and isolating. I feel like you can talk to any queer millennial about that. My heart breaks for these kids who know themselves and these old out of touch white men come out of the woodwork to dismiss them and invalidate their understanding of themselves and add to this dialogue that is stripping away these kids rights to access medical care and even just exist in school.  When cisgender kids receive medical care, their needs are respected without the same level of skepticism or gatekeeping. Transgender youth deserve the same level of respect and care in their journey of affirmation. He makes it a situation that is not happening saying “ I’m not going to tell a seven-year-old boy, ‘Go put a dress on because maybe you’re a girl,’ and he’s going, ‘No, I’m not. I’m a boy.'” That’s not a real thing. But also there are cis parents telling their trans male child “put on a dress because you are a girl” and that child is saying “no I’m a boy” and it’s just as upsetting because the whole point is that there is trauma in being forced to present in a way that you don’t identify. Affirming a child's gender identity doesn't mean imposing a specific clothing style or presentation upon them. Rather, it's about acknowledging their internal understanding of themselves and allowing them to express their identity in ways that feel true and comfortable to them. Just as it would be distressing for a cisgender child to be forced into clothing that doesn't align with their gender, it's equally distressing for a transgender child to be denied the opportunity to express themselves authentically. You walked right into the point. 

He also takes a swipe at this idea of “oh you can't say mother anymore” when you can and at this point I think cisgender people are just being intentionally obtuse because it is not a difficult concept. This is talking about medical terms when used for a broad range of people and are using in overarching term like birthing person because not every person who gives birth is a woman, there are trans men, non-binary individuals, it goes on and on. Knowing that and fighting against that term just suggest that the point is that you want to invalidate other people's identities but feel like you're the victim for it. Because when you as a  singular individual are being addressed people will call a woman a mother. That's not a real pressing issue that is going on in the world.  Cisgender people just think they're the default for everything and the all terms should be about them specifically and they don't care about anyone else who might deviate from their own experiences, which is why we keep having to have these conversations. 

Like I am sure he doesn’t know any other people who have a different thought on the issue because they are probably all white cis straight boomer men. Amazing. But this coming from a man who thinks gender is store in the genitals. That is not factual and  the idea that there are only two binary gender options based solely on physical characteristics is an oversimplification of a much broader and diverse reality. And I feel like that's part of my issue which is I think some people grow up with really simplistic information and then when they're told ‘hey actually the reality is a lot more nuanced and complicated’ they reject it and they want to hold on to the 7th grade biology version of what they once knew even though the scientific and medical community has moved past that. Like, Alice Cooper’s cognitive dissonance shouldn’t be trans peoples problem. 

But he also goes into the false belief that transgender women pose a threat to cis women and girls in public restrooms and you reveals the biases. The whole trans women are predators myth really gets my blood boiling. This myth is rooted in fear and bias, and it contributes to the stigmatization and discrimination that trans women often face. In reality, transgender people, particularly trans women, are more vulnerable to harassment and violence in public spaces. Cisgender women's trauma with cisgender men should not be weaponized to justify discriminatory practices against trans people. I’m so over having this conversation. Nothing is stopping a cis man right now from going into a bathroom he's not going to do years of HRT and surgery to attack a woman. Similarly, if restrooms were just based on sex assignment at birth then trans men who look like men! are going to be in the women's room and the idea of a cisman posing a trans man still exists and that requires less work.  this wasn't a real problem to begin with and now with everyone trying to combat this problem that didn't exist has just made everything worse and less safe. Like it's so aggravating that this has been a contentious issue at all. 

But also really gets my goat about this line of thinking is the men who are perpetrating this myth and using this idea of women's safety to propel it:  my question is what else are you doing to protect women? because a lot of these men don't seem concerned about women's safety any other time. they're not weighing in on domestic violence issues, they're not talking about workplace sexual harassment, they use our safety to weaponize against trans women even though trans people aren't the problem, cismen are the problem statistically speaking. these men aren't out there policing the behavior of  cis men the same way they are trans women.  it's disingenuous and opportunistic and the only goal is to further marginalize and stigmatize trans people while feigning that this is somehow about women and children. fuck off. 

He even is all “I’m being logical here!” (twice) and thou doth protests too much.  Prefacing a statement with "I'm just being logical" or a similar phrase is often an attempt to lend credibility to an argument that might lack factual basis or empathy. Alice sounds like the only info he has ever gained is from biased or uninformed sources and you can tell because of the talking points he hits. 

I’m just so tired y’all. 

I’m not sure that I have any followers where this is going to be a thing they actively care about. I’m not going to explain the whole situation/context this is going to be a If You Know You Know thing. 

But on the topic of Dee Snider I just find it increasingly obnoxious how cis straight, I’m assuming, people will come into our community and feel like their opinions are equal to people who are in the community and have queer experiences. 

Cis people will speak on trans issues when they cannot see beyond their mindset of being a cis person who has never struggled with dysphoria. So to them waiting on treatment is seen as a neutral choice but for people who experience transness waiting is not neutral, it takes them through real bodily changes that can have a physical and mental effect on them that are excruciating and could possibly affect them for a lifetime.

The point of puberty blockers is to halt undesirable characteristics that come out of puberty like voice changes. Because going through puberty also gives trans kids physical changes that are harder to change after they happen. It’s not like  hormone therapy is the only thing that can do that.  No matter which path they decide they are making a change to themselves, the only reason it’s seen as neutral is because cis people see being cis as normal or baseline. Trans youth know what they need more than a cis person who is completely removed from the lives of trans people. 

Trans healthcare has been implemented for trans youth for decades it’s not a trend, it’s just that certain people are just now hearing about it and it’s a new concept to them.  Trans youth who have parents that support them on their journey to receive gender affirming care are incredibly lucky because there are so many kids needlessly suffering, who were going through changes they don’t need to be going through because their parents refuse to support them or because their state will not allow them autonomy over their body and that is a bigger tragedy to me. 

I find it so frustrating to see these older white men believe their opinion on something they are not educated about is as important as the people in that community and then bristle at the thought of someone not letting them claim the title of ally.

It reminds me of a tumblr post that has since been deleted from  makingqueerhistory. https://www.tumblr.com/dear-indies/175855407461/makingqueerhistory-ally-is-not-a-word-you-can?source=share

Ally is not a word you can take, it is not something you stab your flag into and declare you have earned because you found it. Ally is a word given. A word that is not trustworthy if it only comes from your own mouth.

Ally is a passport; you may travel in these spaces but you must follow the law of the land. The word has no meaning if it has not been approved by the proper authorities. And the authorities are us.

We are citizens of this land and we continue to live here when you have gone home. You can read every travel guide, and know every intersection in our roads, but if you are not a citizen you are a visitor.

Ally is not a ticket, a pass to sit down and enjoy the show. Activism is not a spectator sport, you are either playing or you are on the opposing team. If you want to enjoy the game you are going to have to shoulder some tackles for the players. Because we have bruises all over our bodies and you are wearing a suit of armor.  

Ally comes with a class. We are the teachers and you are the student. You will listen and will only participate when you are called upon. If you want to be an ally you have to first realize that your voice is not the most important one in the room. You are there to listen, and we will know if you didn’t do the reading.

Ally is not a part of a gift bag you get for coming to the party. If you want the word you must come to the funerals as well as the parades.  

The word comes with work. It comes with struggle, inconvenience, and time. Ally is something you do. Not someone you are. It is a job, not a title.

So thank you for your application. We will review it and get back to you in a couple of weeks.

I need people who want to call themselves allies to throw less temper tantrums that they are not being allowed to occupy queer spaces and instead get serious about understanding queer issues and understanding that it is not us who needs to fall in line with your privileged cishet white man worldview but it is you who needs to educate yourself about the struggles and issues our community faces and to listen to our stories and our history and our past and where we are coming from. Because this is not about you. This is about us. 

[cinefairy]

colourfulness.

ADD COLOUR. ADD A RHYTHM. ADD A BEAT.

colour is not something that always has to relate to things we can see with our physical eye or a literal colour e.g red.

ADD COLOUR • realisation of the beauty in ordinary life, small moments, the wistful nature of life.

i personally like to perceive colour as in-tune with life. colour is everywhere i go, it’s there when i wake up and i open the window for the breeze to enter and take me by it’s hands. it awakens me when i feel glum, colour is when there when i laugh so hard, when i eat my favourite foods, when i enjoy my favourite films. its seeps through the cracks of joy that i experience and comes to witness it.

realising the beauty of the mind & life is colour

to me colour is what makes my world light up, it is something i will never let go of.

ADD A RHYTHM • implement pockets of love, do something for the sake of doing it. change the pattern.

"Look at you. You're young. And you're scared. Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed. Stop swallowing your words. Stop caring what other people think. Wear what you want. Say what you want. Listen to the music you want to listen to. Play it loud as fuck and dance to it. Go out for a drive at midnight and forget that you have school the next day. Stop waiting for Friday. Live now. Do it now. Take risks. Tell secrets. This life is yours. When are you going to realise that you can do whatever you want?" — Louise Flory

adding a beat is vital. there comes a point in life where there is a empty hole, we sometimes grieve over that empty hole as it wasn’t always a hole- at one point in our lives it was filled with something great. and when we lose that certain great thing it’s hard to get back up again & in that moment you have to realise that you can implement pockets of love. you can do it any area of your life, my personal way is by making a warm bowl of porridge with strawberries, honey & dried fruit to fill me up because it’s love. learning to take a break and to prevent myself from feeling drained out constantly is love. telling myself that everything will eventually be okay is love.

we can always change the pattern in our lives. WE ARE NOT STUCK!! YOU ARE NOT STUCK!! we do not have to be the person we are if we dont want to be, if we feel stagnant we can become fluid. if i want to get up one day and change my style, my mind, my hobbies. I CAN! i can. i absolutely can.

ADD A BEAT • implement pockets of love, do something for the sake of doing it. change the pattern.

“I did not give to anyone the responsibility for my life. It is mine. I made it. And can do what I want to with it. Live it. Give it back, someday, without bitterness, to the wild and weedy dunes.” — Mary Oliver

something i had to re-discover was life and no not the timetable planner life with everything sorted but just life. in itself. life is rigid, it has its sharp edges. but it also has it’s softness and vulnerability. it welcomes me with open arms and it will not let me go.

life shall continue. i cant stop it, it’ll only continue. now i can either let life pass me by and watch by the sidelines or jump in and take hold of what i want my future to look like.

I choose the latter.

and i give myself everything— every tiny little thing i could possibly want i give myself the feeling of that without any residue of guilt, embarrassment or unworthiness.

I ask myself “what would i like to be?” and answer it in FEELING. I accept the joy, the blissfulness, the warm essence of my imagination and i live in it. I LIVE IN IT.

summary:

adding a bit of colour (the simplicity of life) adding a beat (doing what you love) and adding rhythm (giving what we deeply want to ourselves) are like the ingredients to life. they’ll teach you, make you question, make you think. they’re all equally beautiful as individuals but together can change everything including your perspective on what matters & what doesn’t.

[shysneeze]

head over heels | robin buckley x reader

(pt four of cliche bucket list but can be read on its own as usual)

description: mixtapes and making out in the rain, you and robin tackle more cliches

warnings: making out, swearing, eight million music references and cheesiness beyond belief. also Robin blushes a lot because this is self indulgent and i think she's a blusher

cliche bucket list masterlist

a/n: this is almost a crack fic is so cheesy, and also ty to @strvngerrose for the music recs, and the anon ive not answered yet, time after time was an inspired idea

...

“-And I like Kate Bush but she doesn’t seem very us and this is our mixtape of course so I opted out of adding Wuthering Heights, even though its a true classic- well, it probably doesn’t count as a classic because it’s not even a decade old yet, but I’m sure it will be-” 

Robin continues somewhat distractedly, flicking through another handful of tapes from the scattered pile around her. She’s leaning back against her bed, your head pillowed on her lap as she talks.

 It's a lovely view from her lap, perfect position to count the freckles dotted across her neck, usually hidden in the shadows of her chin, and you make a mental note to give them more attention the next time you kiss her. The breeze from the open window blows her hair over her eyes occasionally, and distractedly, she pushes it back without ever pausing in her rambling. 

It’s such a pleasure to listen though, pulling a smile to your cheeks each time she glances down self-consciously to voice her fear of boring you, only to be met with your request that she never stop. 

“What do you think of Queen? I like them, but they're not quite the vibe of the rest of the songs on here, are they? I mean, maybe Good Old-fashioned Lover Boy-” 

“Oh definitely,” You voice from her lap, “You’re my lover girl.” 

You watch the red climb her throat, temporarily hiding those little freckles you’ve been enamoured by before it fades away again. She pinches your shoulder in retaliation, but she can't hide that lovely little smile as she returns to the tapes. 

 She’s gone quiet now, flustered out of words for a moment, and instead the room fills only with the staticy intro of Close To Me by The Cure from the radio, and the distant rumbling of thunder outside. You let out a soft sigh at the absence of her raspy voice, but soon melt into the comfortable quiet. 

Blinking past the distracting freckles, your eyes land on her ceiling. It’s littered with little paint chips where old posters have once been hung, large squares just slightly paler than the rest of the ceiling, unblemished by dust. 

You find yourself smiling up at them, trying to guess what they could have been, what middle school Robin listened to, what TV shows she liked.

“Stevie Nicks.” You blurt. 

“I already have Edge of Seventeen written down,” Robin assures without looking down, “And as much as I love and respect that you love the Rumours album, we can’t have songs about breaking up on our first mixtape.” 

“No,” You laugh, reaching up to tilt her chin up, pushing her eyes towards her ceiling gently, “I’m trying to guess what posters you had, and I’m guessing Stevie Nicks.” 

Robin’s frowns slightly, following your eyes to her ceiling and the chipped paint. She blushes softly, nodding a little self-consciously before returning to her tapes and in an attempt to curb her flustered reaction. 

“Oh, everyone had a crush on Stevie Nicks, Rob,” You assure with a light laugh, “No need to act all coy-” 

“You’re a menace, you know that?” She rolls her eyes, reaching down to pinch your cheeks, “If you don’t stop trying to fluster me, I’m going to start adding some of that stuff Eddie recommended-” 

“I’ll behave,” You assure, sitting up and swatting away her hand, “Promise.” 

She smirks at you, though it softens at your almost dopey grin. Steve keeps warning her about the honeymoon phase, the swooping feeling in her chest and red cheeks, but staring at you now she can’t imagine feeling any different about that smile. 

She’s about to lean in to kiss you, hand already planted on your jaw, thumb grazing the corner of your smile, heart swooping at the way it stretches with her touch, when a familiar song begins on the radio, and she pulls back instantly. 

“Holy shit, this has to be on it.” 

Blinking in surprise at the fact she’s denied you a kiss for such a ridiculous distraction, it takes a second to process what’s playing, eyes rolling the second it finally hits you. 

“We are not adding Head Over Heels,” You say, “We’re not that cheesy.” 

“What, so you’re okay with ‘Be My Baby’ and ‘Time After Time’ but you draw the line at Tears For Fears?” She scoffs, getting to her feet and dragging you up with her, “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but we’re kind of all about cliches in this relationship.” 

The way she pulls you in, one hand clasping yours, the other curling around your waist, cool metal of her rings finding the warmth of your skin where your shirt has untucked, has you close to swooning, smile tugging at your lips. 

“Something happens and I’m head over heels,” She sings softly, leaning in to breathe the words across your ear as you steady yourself against her chest, “Ah, don't take my heart, don't break my heart, don't, don't, don't throw it away.” 

You bite your smile down, attempting to hold onto some false disapproval, but you’re breaking into a giggle as she pulls her arm from your waist and twirling you clumsily, cassette cases scattering across the carpet at your feet. 

Only once you’re near dizzy, beaming ear to ear, does she pull you back into her chest, singing the lyrics with a dramatic flair, head shaking with the beat, hair flaring out around her. In that moment she’s too beautiful to stand; all pink cheeks and grin-stretched lips. It’s the sort of beauty people write songs about, cheesy songs that people roll their eyes at, because it’s truly the sort of beauty people become absolute fools over. 

And so you join her, like a fool falling in love, and you sing at the top of your lungs and grip her hands and you stumble together around her room until you're breathless and giggly and holding each other upright. 

The song fades and Robin pants softly, warm breath hitting your lips as she holds you with her arms around your waist. She lets out a breathless chuckle, leaning in to kiss your cheek. But all you can do is stare, lips slightly parted in awe. 

“You’re beautiful.” 

Robin blushes again, a lopsided smile fading to an embarrassed smile. She leans in, curling you closer with her arm and smiling at the way your eyes flutter shut upon instinct, and she kisses your cheek again, before pulling her lips down towards the corner of your lips, kissing you so gently that you let out a pleading sound for more. 

She’s about to oblige when thunder strikes loudly outside, wind blowing her curtains into the air as the tiny patter of rain on her window becomes a heavy rattling sound. She jumps just slightly, head shifting to her window in surprise and leaving you breathless, and kissless. 

“Robin…” You mumble impatiently, “You were about to kiss me.” 

Robin turns back with a smug grin that makes you gulp. Then, her hand is wrapping around your wrist and you’re being tugged towards the door, then down her stairs, shrieking with confusion as, together, you go bounding towards her front door. 

“Rob, what are you-” 

“I’m still going to kiss you,” She assures, dropping your wrist, “but I want to do it in the rain… like the movies.” 

She’s trying to stuff her shoes into her trainers, not bothering to undo the laces. She gives up after a moment, giving you an unbothered shrug before she pulls the front door open and runs barefoot into her yard, arms open to welcome the slightly warm end of summer rain. 

“Are you coming?” She calls back to you in the doorway. 

You have to bite your lip to hide your grin, hastily pulling your socks off and stepping into the rain with her. The grass squelches beneath your feet, each hurried step splashing mud into the air and pulling a shriek from your lips as you skid towards her, caught in her open arms.

“You’re mad!” 

“For you-” 

You snort, shoving her weakly on the shoulder. Despite the rain, the air is still humid, still static with the storm. That earthy smell seeps from the grass beneath your feet, and the dark is setting quickly with the grey clouds gathering above you, street lights becoming yellow blurs behind sheets of rain. 

“The movies make it seem way less messy,” Robin confesses, reaching out to wipe a splatter of mud from your cheek that must have splashed up in your rush towards her. “You’ve got dirt in your eyebrows.” 

“Always the charmer-” 

Robin’s lips catch your words before you can finish. With your jaw cupped in her hands, she leads you into a dizzying kiss, messy and needy. Her tongue slips desperately past your parted lips, meeting your own with a feverish need. 

Her usual clumsiness in kisses like these is only further provoked by the wet of the rain, grip slipping from your jaw, wet fingertips drawn down your neck before falling down to grab your waist through your soaked shirt, desperate for something to hold in her firm grasp. 

A similar need pricks at your skin, and your fingers thread perfectly through her soaked hair, pulling it back and with it, tilting her head to expose her throat, that perfect constellation of kiss-neglected freckles. The rain pools in the dimples and hollows of her skin as you kiss them, pulling little sighs from her swollen lips. 

“Kissing in the rain…” You exhale across her neck breathlessly, “Was an inspired idea.” 

Robin hums softly in agreement, though her hands on your waist push you back slightly, only to connect your lips once more. Thunder rumbles above you, and the rain comes down so hard it just about stings your skin, but it doesn’t matter. 

All that matters is Robin, her touch, her lips, that little quirk of a smile in every kiss. It’s the curve of her waist beneath your fingertips, and her hair plastered to her forehead. It’s the way she mumbles through every breath, rambling whispered across your lips, barely coherent tales of need and want.

She pulls back only as lightning has begun to flash behind you, giggling at the state of you both, the ridiculousness of the situation, and the mud smudged across your cheek. Then her giggles turn into bursts of uncontrollable laughter, unattractive snorts as she lifts a hand to cover her mouth. 

“What?” You ask, somewhat alarmed, “What is it? Have I got more mud on my face-” 

“No, I was just thinking about, well, if you like pina coladas, or getting caught in the rain-” 

“We are not adding The Pina Colada song to our mixtape, Robin Buckley!” You gasp, shoving away from her, “It’s about cheating-” 

“I’m joking,” Robin grins, tugging you in again, “I wouldn’t let you add anything from the Rumours album, so we’re certainly not adding anything about infidelity.” 

“I should hope not, Lover Girl.” 

“And if we were, it would obviously be Babooshka by Kate Bush.” 

a/n: kinda chaotic huh? anyway, feed back is always welcomed :)

tag list:  @woahhhfidgett @sireeeeee  @lovelyy-moonlight @starselle @robinsprker @flourelle @robinbuckleysgfreall @robinbuckleyluvr @lesbiihoenestt @sumobug @milkiane @janeswhore @strvngerrose @rxbinbuckleys @amelies-a-simp @vampirtet

[queenshelby]

My Friend’s Father (Part One of Three)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Smut

Words: 2,528

Notes: Alright, no judgment. This was a dream of mine and I felt like I had to write it down. Everyone in this Fic is over the age of 18 and this Fic is in no way based on Cillian’s real family life. It’s pure filth.

 *************************

You inhaled the calming aroma of your tea as you looked out into the familiar back yard while your friend Denise puttered around in the kitchen as she made you a snack.

Her mother, Laura, had recently moved out of the house and you came to visit her for the first time since, wanting to give her and her parents some time to adjust before intruding.

Denise was the same age as you and had recently started her university degree at Trinity College. You, on the other hand, attended a different university in Galway which is where you had moved to six months ago with your parents.

For a long time, you and your parents lived across the road from Denise and her parents. You both attended high school together and had become best friends.

Now, your old house was occupied by a new family with their two adorable little children and, whilst they seemed nice, Denise felt somewhat lonely not having a friend live nearby.

Denise had a brother named Liam who was 23 and still lived at home as well. He was only two years older than you and Denise and had always liked you quite a lot.

You, on the other hand, were never really interested in him and when, one night, he kissed you, you stayed away from Denise’s house for a few weeks to avoid the awkwardness.

‘He’s been working out’ you observed as you watched Liam mow the lawns outside. The buzz of the lawn mower got louder as he finished the front and methodically mowed his way around back.

‘Yes, he has been ever since he knew that you would be staying with us for the long weekend’ Denise laughed but you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

‘Honestly, I would still prefer watching your dad mowing the lawns Denise, especially if he was shirtless and all sweaty’ you teased, knowing that your comment would get under her skin just as much as her comment about her brother got under yours.

‘Oh god, you are disgusting’ Denise said while her face evidentially turned green.

‘What? Your dad is hot’ you said before asking her where he was.

‘In Manchester, filming the last season of Peaky Blinders. He will be back tonight, unfortunately’ Denise said, enjoying to have the house for herself instead.

‘Oh, so he’s got the haircut?’ you asked somewhat excited, causing your friend to roll her eyes.

‘Yes, the infamous haircut’ she chuckled before you told her again that you thought that her father was quite attractive.

‘I know you have been saying that for years. Yet, it’s still weird and grosses me out’ Denise sighed before reminding you that you have boyfriend who would not appreciate you talking about other men like this.

‘We broke up two weeks ago. He was getting a little too possessive’ you explained before you described your two-month relationship to your friend.

‘Well, sounds like you dodged a bullet there’ Denise said, repeating the age-old break-up response and you nodded, thankful that your friend was there to cheer you up, but still feeling wounded by the whole ordeal.

‘Let’s not hit on my dad though, alright?’ she then laughed and you nodded again in agreement before Denise showed you the guestroom in which you would be staying.

***

At around 9 o’clock the front door of the house opened and you watched Denise and Liam get up to greet their father who had just arrived back home after having been away for three weeks’ straight.

‘I am glad to see that you haven’t trashed the house’ he chuckled and you quickly poked your head into the corridor to say hello.

‘Hey Mr Murphy’ you said with a wide smile when you saw him. He looked incredible, as usual.

‘Jesus, Y/N can you please start calling me Cillian’ he reminded you before greeting you and asking you how you liked Galway. You had known him for a while and he had told you on many occasions that the term ‘Mr Murphy’ made him feel rather old.

After some small talk, you and Denise returned to the living room to give him some time to tune down after having been away.

The two of you curled up on the couch in the living room with popcorn and a cheesy movie, just like old times and, at around 11 o’clock, you both decided that it was time for bed.

After getting changed into your somewhat revealing satin pyjamas, you tippy toed across the hallway into the main bathroom in order to brush your teeth when, suddenly, the bathroom door opened and Cillian stood in front of you with nothing but a white towel wrapped around him.

‘Uhm, I am sorry Mr Murphy…uhm Cillian’ you said with embarrassment, realising that you had almost barged into him but he didn’t seem bothered at all.

‘Don’t worry Y/N, it’s alright. Have a good night’ he said, getting out of the way and you stumbled into the bathroom.

Without closing the door, you starred at him walking down the hallway. How on earth could a man his age look so incredibly good you wondered as your eyes took in his toned body.

When he eventually disappeared into his bedroom and you closed the bathroom door behind you, all you could smell was the scent of the soap he had used mixed with a hint of his aftershave.

You know you shouldn’t think about your friend’s father this way, but you also couldn’t help yourself. After all, you knew that you were one of many women who were attracted to him.

***

When you finally went to bed, you felt a familiar tingle between your legs as you thought about Cillian in the shower. The image didn’t leave your mind and you wondered what he would look like without the towel wrapped around him.

With this attractive man on your mind, you slowly slid your fingers down into your panties and began to relieve yourself of the tension that had built up there.

You knew that the master bedroom was right next to yours and the thought of this turned you on even more. You knew he would be lying there, on his bed, possibly half naked.

Both windows were open and he did, indeed, lie there, on his bed, reading a book which is when he heard it, your soft moans and whimpers.

He couldn’t help but swallow harshly, knowing what you were doing right there with only a thin wall between you.

But the thought that he may be able to hear you didn’t stop you as you rubbed little circles around your tingling clit a bit faster until, finally, with one loud moan, you climaxed.

Just as you did, Cillian’s manhood stirred but he wasn’t willing to give in. He had too much self-control and his mind tried hard to focus on the book in his hands rather than the sounds you were making. You were his daughter’s friend and, whilst you were almost 22, this was highly inappropriate.

****

The next morning Cillian jolted awake when the alarm clock on his phone went off and he realised that he had forgotten to turn off the alarm when he returned home after being away filming.

It was only 7 o’clock but, since he was awake now, he climbed out of bed anyway and shuffled his way to his bedroom door. He made his way to the bathroom and shut the door behind him. He turned on the light and the shower water in one long movement.

After he got out of the shower and back into his shorts and a t-shirt, he wobbled out of the steamy bathroom into the kitchen where he smelled something burn.

Then, all of a sudden, he froze as he watched you standing there, flipping a pancake with precision on the stove without the use of utensils. You were unaware of his presence and he could even hear the song you were listening to on your phone.

You moved to the beat and Cillian was awestruck. After what he heard you do last night in the guestroom, his jaw dropped a few centimetres every time you rocked with the backbeat of the song.

You were wearing the same night shorts and spaghetti strap shirt you wore the night before but in the light of the sun you noticed your shorts were somewhat see through and your shirt was silk that didn't cover your breasts completely.

Eventually, you noticed something out of the corner of your eye. A statue you hadn't noticed before? No, it was Cillian standing in the dining room, his mouth hanging slightly and his eyes glued to the scene before him. You paused and began to turn to the frozen figure that was still in your peripheral vision.

You yanked on the string connected to your ears expertly and one of your earphones popped out of place. Then you smiled at the shock on Cillian’s face but didn't stop moving to the song playing in your head. Cillian forced his mouth closed when he made eye contact.

‘Good morning Cillian’ you said softly. He gulped and nodded quickly before moving to where the coffee machine was standing and turning it on.

‘Good morning’ he then replied before offering you a coffee which you gladly accepted, causing Cillian to move over to the stove to reach for two cups.

You didn't move to make it easier for him to reach above the stove to the cups. Instead, you made him stretch his body over you.

You watched him as he did and you saw him trying not to look at you. He failed miserably.

‘Do you want pancakes?’ you then asked with a warm smile and Cillian nodded.

‘That would be amazing, thanks’ he stammered as he was preparing the coffees.

‘Do you like blueberries?’ you then asked, still swaying to the music on your phone and Cillian nodded again but didn't realise that you were pouring pancake mix in the pan and couldn't see his response. After a moment you looked over to him.

‘Do you like blueberries?’ you asked again quietly and Cillian smiled and nodded again.

‘Yeah, I like ...’ he cleared his throat before adding the word ‘blueberries’.

He rolled his eyes at his response when you turned back around but you simply smiled and walked him over a stack of blueberry pancakes and a bottle of maple syrup.

‘There you go’ you said as you put the plate in front of him and felt his eyes follow you when you turned around and back to the stove.

A few minutes later you dumped one last pancake on a third plate and put the plate in the microwave. You took your plate and cup of coffee and went to sit by Cillian where his food was barely touched.

‘Not hungry?’ you asked as you began to eat.

‘It’s early’ he responded, still trying hard not to stare at your cleavage.

Eventually though, you both ate in silence, a silence you loved and Cillian hated.

He couldn't think of a single joke the entire time you both sat there and you just smirked every time he grunted instead of speaking.

Soon you could hear Denise walk through the living room and this was Cillian hurried up and ate the last bit of his pancakes before excusing himself.

***

‘Wow, you actually got him to eat in the morning. That’s something’ Denise joked as she walked into the kitchen and saw that her father had eaten some of the pancakes you had prepared.

‘Where did he go?’ you then asked, knowing that he had excused himself without any further explanation.

‘Down to the basement, listening to some music I would say’ Denise said as she dug into the pancakes, enjoying them quite a lot.

‘Talking of music, do you have an iPhone charger? My phone is almost out of charge’ you asked, looking at the battery on your phone.

‘No, I’ve got a Samsung. Dad has iPhone though. Go downstairs and ask him’ Denise then suggested and you nodded before making your way down towards the basement.

***

You walked down to the basement and knocked before opening the door slowly as you didn’t hear Cillian answer you.

You didn’t want to intrude on his privacy but, to your surprise, when you did open the door, you saw more than you had bargained for.

Cillian was sitting in front of his computer and it was quite obvious to you what he was watching.

You could see most of the screen from the angle at which you were standing as well as his hardening cock in his hand. He reached over and squirted some lotion onto his palm, lubricating his whole shaft before beginning to stroke with soft squelching sounds.

You wondered whether you should say something or whether you should just turn around and leave. But, you did neither and, instead, you watched as you were getting more and more turned on.

He fast forwarded and jumped around through different videos, his thick cock towering over his fist at the bottom of every stroke. You could feel that you were getting wet, but starting to cramp a little in your unchanged position after so long. There was something deliciously naughty about watching him in secret.

After ten minutes Cillian settled on a video of a young lady who had remarkably familiar features. Her hair was about the same length and colour as yours and her skin tone and build were strikingly similar.

You started breathing more heavily and pressed your legs together to deal with the tingling sensation in your core. You enjoyed watching the porn actress's performance while Cillian’s heavy, throbbing shaft disappeared under his fist faster and faster. His cock was beautiful and you wanted to walk into the room so badly and replace his hand with yours.

Eventually, you could see Cillian’s abs begin to twitch and tighten as he got closer to his high as he continued to stroke his shaft.

‘Fuck’ he groaned as he started to cum, pumping jet after jet of stickiness back towards his chest, causing you to gulp.

But you knew what you had to do. You couldn’t walk in now, it would be too awkward.

Just after you watched Cillian clean himself up, you quickly tippy toed back upstairs which is where Denise was waiting for you.

‘Did you get dad’s charger?’ she asked but you simply shook your head.

‘Uhm, he didn’t have one…left it in Manchester I think’ you said with flushed cheeks.

‘Are you okay Y/N? You look a bit hot?’

‘Uhm…yes…fine…thanks’ you stammered out before telling Denise that you would go and have a shower.

 Tag List:

@lilymurphy03@deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-your-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney@missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @chocolatehalo @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15  @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r  @tellingyouastory  @captivatedbycillianmurphy​  @namelesslosers​  @littlewhiterose​  @ttzamara​  @ttzamara @cilleveryone  ​

@peaky-cillian​

@severewobblerlightdragon​  @ysmmsy​  

[miekasa]

any spare levi headcanons tonight????? 😁😁😁😁

Sure, why not, he is the love of my life after all. These are pretty random, and fit in some sort of generalized modern boyfriend au. Hopelessly domestic, as that is the nature of nearly everything I write for Levi, anyway. Also still terribly obsessed with the idea of him with a motorcycle, so there’s that.

He owns at least six black blazers. They’re nearly identical; slight differences in texture and cut, one with lapels, one that’s boldly all leather that you swear you’ve never seen him wear. They’re kind of his go-to staple, other than a sweater.

That being said, he doesn’t exclusively wear all black. His closet leans towards more neutrals, sure, but he’s not allergic to color. You might not catch him wearing neon orange on the average day, but he’s not averse to a nice shade of green, any shade of purple that suits his mood, even a softer pink.

He has towels and rags he sets aside especially for you when he comes over. He always washes them and put them back in place when you leave so that they’re ready to go for next time.

Claims to not have any attachment to the shows/dramas you watch, but he’s totally backseat watching. Halfway into every single series, he starts sitting down when you turn it on, and scoffs at dumb decisions the characters make.

He splurged on one of those frame TVs that look like a painting when they’re idle. It was a good investment in his opinion.

He doesn’t hate Starbucks drinks—there’s worse things out there in terms of quality of tea. What he despises about the establishment is the way they call out names for you to pick up your order. He’s learned that mobile order ahead is the way to go.

Has slippers for around the house, so consequently, you have slippers for walking around his house. He keeps both pairs (and a few extra for friends and guests) tucked neatly beside the door for easy access; yours always go next to his.

Does not understand the purpose of a robe. Buy him one tho and he will suddenly find an excuse to wear it: making breakfast, lounging around watching TV, doing some light cleaning and dusting. It’s comfy, alright, he can admit that much.

The little puppy you got him that he swore he was not going to warm up to now gets the royal treatment. The best doggie goods and treats, top rated shampoos, cutest drying towels, even a miniature couch he constructed just for the pup. They’re best friends, there’s no breaking that bond now.

Speaking of the puppy, affectionately named Captain, Levi can be found walking him every day shortly after work. They have a few different routes, but they always pass by the local vendors/market, who enthusiastically anticipate their appearance every day. Some of the older ladies running stands have even taken to bringing a few treats with them for Captain—after bundling up some goods for Levi, too, of course.

Captain also has a special doggy backpack Levi uses for when he’s on his motorcycle. If you follow anybody on TikTok in his area, you’re bound to see at least one video of the pup while Levi’s out riding. He’s become viral on social media without even knowing it.

(When you show him a video someone posted of him and Captain with well over 100k likes, and a million views, he only rolled his eyes. But remembers that particularly day; remembers the folks had a kid who politely asked to pet the dog, so he let him. He also maybe asks you to send the link to him).

On the subject of the motorcycle, there was a good few weeks he wouldn’t let you on it. Always found an excuse, a smart reply that was punctuated with gentle push on your forehead and calling you too clumsy for it. Later, you found out it’s because he’d ordered you a helmet; didn’t want to risk you riding without one.

He always keeps it in the storage compartment should he make a stop to pick you up while he’s riding; and he usually wears at least two layers to have a spare to wrap you in before you get on.

When he cooks, he always makes sure there’s enough for leftovers and/or to give you some later. He also bakes frequently, and at least once a week, he stops by with some kind of treat for you—“Trying out a new recipe, let me know if you think it’s missing anything.”

On the subject of food, he won’t police what you eat to annoying extent; he knows that not everybody has the time or will to make pasta from scratch like he does. But, he will smack your wrist if you consider ordering fast food when you’re over at this place. Give him 30 minutes and a single pan, he’ll make something much better than whatever you can find on Uber Eats.

Really, though, he doesn’t mean to obnoxious about the homemade food thing, it’s more habit for him. Growing up, he had to learn to be resourceful, so buying fast-food isn’t ever at the forefront of his mind. Cooking for you also turns out to be something somewhat intimate that he enjoys, so just let him.

Once bought an Apple Watch because he liked the look of them, it wasn’t insanely expensive like other high end watches, and it could connect to his other devices, so why not? A week later he returned it, the ping of his notifications were in one too many places for his liking.

You tried to convince him to keep it—“At least for when you’re jogging! It can track your activity and calories!”—but he clicks his teeth. He’ll survive without keeping track of them.

He learned the hard way that jogging with Captain is no good. His legs are too tiny and Levi ended up carrying the puppy the entire time. Captain is more of a walk dog… or ride on the back of his bike dog.

If you changed anything in his phone settings—like the ringtone for you contact, or the sound his keyboard makes—he wouldn’t go back in and try to figure out how to reset it. Unless it was something obnoxious, like adding an autocorrect shortcut to say something lewd.

He doesn’t really listen to music when he’s just walking. When he’s on a run, that’s fine, but he somewhat prefers to just… hear the environment around him when he’s on a stroll or a break from work. The only reason he’d have headphones on in public is to take a phone call, but even then, he’d prefer to wait until he’s somewhere more private.

He likes having you over at his apartment and has contemplated asking you to move in. He doesn’t want to rush anything, though, so he’s content with your sleepovers for now. (Though he really cannot fathom that you call them “sleepovers” like you’re 14. Please).

He speaks to his mother at least once a week, and she always asks about you. Levi tells her that you’re fine, gives her small updates about you, but Kuchel really just wants to know when the wedding is. He pretends to be busy whenever she starts asking and conveniently ends the call.

Occasionally, he’ll stop by and take you out for lunch. Depends on how much time he has during the day for himself, but he always enjoys sharing a meal with you.

Whenever you’re out with your friends drinking, Levi will pick you up. Even if you already told him that you’d Uber home; as soon as you text him that you’re going to leave soon, he’s already on his way.

He makes pretty good cocktails himself. Teases you for running his alcohol supply dry when the truth is he has more of your favorites in his cabinet than his own. He secretly likes the way you flirt with him when you’re tipsy.

You don’t always cuddle on top of each other when you sleep together. You can just lay by each other and that’s enough; but sometimes, you catch Levi turning towards you in his sleep, reaching for your hand. His body seems to search for yours subconsciously, and you swear there’s a hint of a smile on his sleeping face when you put your hand within reach.

Do not try to pay for dinner when you’re out with him. He’ll pull the “I’m going to use the restroom” move and pay the bill behind your back if he needs to. Open your own doors, maybe; pull out your own chairs, sure if you want; but not this.

He flosses very diligently every night. Mostly because he fucking hates the dentist, so if he takes the extra steps and is extra careful with his teeth, he doesn’t have to go as often, right?—Wrong, it’s the one time the roles are reversed, and you and Hange have to wrestle him into the doctor’s office.

On the flip side, if there are any doctors you routinely avoid and/or forget to schedule check ups for, fear not, because Levi will do it for you. He’ll drive you there, too—the only caveat being, that he usually doesn’t tell you where you’re going until you’re almost there. You think he’s doing the mysterious man surprise date thing and then boom, he’s pulling up to the ophthalmologist. Good luck.

He’s purchased a physical, paper copy of the news on every one of your anniversaries, birthdays, and other special occasions. He keeps them all neatly tucked away in a drawer. Sometimes, he looks back on them—sees what was happening in the world around you on that day. Maybe someday he’ll cut them up and bind them together in a book for you.

He doesn’t like having headphones in when you’re home with him, and preferred if you didn’t either—unless it was for work or school. He welcomes you to use his speakers and play your music aloud; he likes listening to what you listen to. If you look closely, you can catch him humming along or tapping his foot when he really likes a song.

Saves pictures you send him in an album in his camera roll. Occasionally can be found scrolling through them—particularly if you’ve been away on a trip, or he hasn’t gotten the chance to see you because of conflicting schedules.

He takes relatively short showers and doesn’t have a strong preference for the water temperature, so he lets you shower first. Unless you want him to join you, of course.

It’s not hard to tell when Levi wants you. He becomes noticeably more touchy, even if that margin isn’t too wide by anyone else’s standards; and he rarely tries to hide it. It only happens in the privacy of your apartments; but he’ll come on to you—leaning a bit further into conversations, a hand on your knee, a kind of cloudy look in his eyes.

Sometimes he forgoes the attempts at being subtle, just kisses you out the blue, carefully backs you up against the wall, puts his hands on your hips. He can be awfully direct when given the opportunity.

[alreadyblondenow]

Never get to hold you | Lee Haechan

Lee Haechan x female!reader x Lee Jeno

▸ Fluff, smut, angst? Haechan is poor ▸ Part of To All the Members I’ve Loved Before: Dear 127, hosted by me ​

Summary: Growing up in a fucked up household, Haechan has always been thankful for his friend Jeno for treating him like his real brother. From giving him food, to letting him stay in their big house, to lending him money for school. Jeno has always been an angel. Until one day, Haechan found another angel, you. Finally his life is now brighter than ever… but not for long, because Jeno likes you too. Will Haechan let this once in a lifetime love slip and give you to his true friend who’s always been nice to him? Or will he be selfish?

Work count: 6k flat amazing

Warnings: Smut, toxic household, mentions of parents fighting, Haechan is poor here, if you are not okay with the idea please click away. Unprotected sex, couch sex, mentions of rough sex, overstimulating, Haechan smoked one cigarette, mentions of alcohol, alcohol consumption, mentions of Haechan’s sister, break up, slight cheating? but not really A/N: Pure fiction. Haechan’s character here is inspired by Justin Fooley from 13 reasons why. And the friendship is inspired by Bryce and Justin’s friendship. hehe. Originally this is a cheating au, but I’ve been writing a lot of cheating au so.... lets do the right thing for now. HAHA. also I did not include a lot of smut just because it doesn’t fit the story so i hope you understand that and still enjoy reading this. <3 

A peaceful night that’s what Haechan longs for. A night free from the screaming and shouting of his parents, the glass shattering and never-ending blaming. He turns the volume up of the song he’s listening to from his mp3 player, closed his eyes, and tried sleeping. It’s not calming or whatsoever but it’s better than hearing the bickering.

For Haechan, sleep does not fix anything but it sure does make him feel better once he wakes up and finally faces another fun day in school. Yes. That’s right, Haechan loves going to school for it makes him feel like he’s a normal person. Not everyone in school knew how fucked up his life is and that’s another thing why he loves going to school. School and his friends have been his escape.

“You’re coming tonight right?” Jeno sneaks from behind and swings an arm on his best friend.

“Of course I’ll be there. I have to drive your drunk ass home-“ Haechan jokes but he was soon interrupted by something so unfortunate.

His shoes gave up on him.

“I think I should go and get this fixed before class starts. Not again,” Haechan said, stopping to remove his worn-out shoes and check them further while Jeno watch him.

“I have my Balenciaga shoes in my locker I don’t use that anymore. If you don’t want to keep it or accept it, at least use it for the day,” Jeno smiles at his friend and pats his back. But before Haechan could even say no to his best friend, Jeno is long gone for the school bell rang already.

Every since Haechan is new in town, Jeno has been a good friend to him. Both very different boys but they are brothers by heart and got each other’s back. For Haechan, Jeno is an angel to which he almost feels bad for not giving something in return for all the things Jeno gave him. Not just material things but Jeno offers financial help to Haechan too, in fact, Jeno is the reason why Haechan’s mother got a job at a store Mrs. Lee owns.

So you see, being a loyal and true friend is the only thing Haechan can give in return for now.

After school, Haechan fixed his wretched shoes before going to his part-time job. There, while he looks over the convenience store, he does his homework on the side and makes sure that he studies in advance so he can get closer to the college and scholarship that he’s aiming for and finally get out of this hell hole.

“You like studying so much?”

A voice made him drop his pen and went to work immediately. Punching the cashier and putting the stuff you bought in a plastic bag with a shy smile. A shy smile that miraculously lights up your day, he’s like a sun you thought.

“College. You’re new here right? I saw you earlier with the student body president. I’ve been there, being new in town will get easier... with the right people” Haechan says.

“Well, I had a bad first day, but thank you.... Hyuck. It’s great to know that eventually, everything will get better ” you read his name tag and smiled so sweetly at him. Oh, you wish it’s not obvious that you’re flirting.

When you left you’re all he could think of. He can’t stop thinking about your smile, how it’s obvious that you’re flirting with him but he thinks you’re so cute rather than flirty, he even beats himself up for not asking your name and making you stay longer.

As he walks his way home under a quiet night and with nothing in his head but your smile, he replays his only memory of you in his head while smiling alone and looking like a complete idiot. But when he was just a few walks from his house, he hears the screaming and shouting again.

He ran towards the door and straight to his sister’s room, not giving a fuck about why his parents are fighting. He hugs his little sister who’s in tears and basically shaking from fear, keeping her close to him to let her know that he is here now. And this is the sadness and reality he had to face every day.

“You scared?” He whispers but his face shows no fear to show his sister that his big brother is ready to protect her.

“Where were you?” She whines and snuggles to her brother more.

“I was at work, sorry. You know something wonderful happened to me today,” Haechan ready himself to tell his sister how you two met for the first time. She has always loved Hyuck’s stories and she’s always interested in the people his brother is friends with, especially Jeno.

“Well, why didn’t you ask her name? Will you see her again?” She asks eagerly. “I want more stories about her, she sounds sweet even though your conversation was too short”

“Yeah I know. Maybe I can talk to her by Monday and tell her, ‘hey my little sister wants us to be friends’” he jokes.

And so the night went on, exchanging stories with his sister until his parents stopped fighting and eventually his sister fell asleep in his arms. To be honest,  he didn’t want to leave his sister alone after what happened tonight, but he promised Jeno that he will be there so he needs to be there.

Going to Jeno’s birthday celebration in a bar downtown is the last thing he wants to do after having a hard night. The bar was loud, packed, and it’s giving him a headache. So he promised himself that he will stay here for half an hour only, which did not happen because his heart feels heavy.

So he went out to have a cigarette and to clear his mind, having a debate with his conscience whether he’s going back in or not.

“The answer is no,” you said from behind which made him turn immediately and face you. “I’m watching you for a few minutes already and your feet is obviously hesitating to go back inside”

“It’s that obvious? Am I really that easy to read?” he takes one final hit from his cigarette before he throws it away. You nod with a smile to answer his question. It’s obvious that you’re happy to see each other again. “Why aren’t you inside? It’s cold out here,” he would give you his jacket if only he’s wearing one right now but he’s not.

“Everyone is loud inside and I feel like I’ve had enough of the screaming and overflowing booze, you know?” You answered awkwardly. Little did you know that Haechan feels the exact same thing. “But I should probably go and not ruin the silence here too so-“

“I can’t stop thinking about you” Haechan finally blurted out. He didn’t mean to but those are the words that came out from his mouth the moment he saw you turn and was about to walk away. “I don’t even know your name but my sister thinks your cool” he added, trying to sound fun and interesting. Heck, he’s trying to make you stay.

And it's working.

“You have a sister and you told her about me?” Haechan nods with a shy smile, “Well what did you tell her?” You asked with a flirty tone.

“I told her that I’ve never seen a smile so beautiful and that I feel stupid for not asking your name” he shamelessly flirts and came closer to you, making your heart beat faster and making you really nervous.

“Take me some somewhere quiet and I’ll tell you my name” you flirted back.

And without any second thoughts, he brought you to a place where you two can laugh out loud freely, and there's no loud music to bother the moment. You introduced yourself and all he did was giggle and tell you that his little sister will be happy about this. Haechan made you laugh nonstop, telling you the happy memories he holds dear and even small parts about his life, without fooling you and making you think that he’s someone else.

Now that he gets the chance to talk to you again, he wanted to embrace you while he pours all his honesty to you and hopes that you don’t mind liking someone fucked up like him. But Haechan thought that telling you that he’s poor as a rat on your first night together is not something worth staying for, so he shrugged it off and continue asking more about you.

Until you both lost track of time and he offered to walk you home, which you think it’s sweet.

“Do you want to have some water first, before you go? It’s a long way back. M-my parents are not home so no need to be shy,” you offered with a hint of other intentions that he surely understood. And thankfully he accepted.

The moment you closed the door, he stopped you from opening the lights, his hands are on your face and your lips touched immediately. Returning the kiss without hesitation, heads turning continuously and both tongues are wanting for something more.

You motion him to the couch and push him until he falls on the cushions and let out a quiet giggle. It was a pity that you wouldn’t see his bright smile. “You okay with this?” he slips his hand inside your shirt and smoothly removed it.

“More than okay,” you said and started to undo his belt and remove his pants. Soon, you’re both wearing only your underwear while grinding on top of each other. Shy to make a move but your kisses and moans say otherwise. You’re the one who initiates it this time, unclasping your bra and making him knead and cup your boobs shamelessly.

“Do I need a condom?” he asks, removing his boxers brief, throwing it on the floor, and immediately slipped his hand inside your panties while you’re on top of him kissing him like there’s no tomorrow.

You moaned softly when his fingers made contact with your very wet slit and told him, “No. But pull out?” he nods and told you he will. And because of that assurance, you finally removed your panties and went on top of him.

“It’s hard to pull out if you’re going to be on top, maybe next time?” He says and effortlessly switched your positions, putting him on top of you. He pulls away for a second and pumped his cock in between your opened legs, came in closer to kiss you before he pushes his in.

His kisses were gentle and sweet like he’s not about you fuck you in the next few seconds. But when he finally lined his cock and slowly thrust in, both of you moaned and forgot that you were kissing for a second. Sharp gasps escaped your mouth while delicious groans escaped from his. Slowly he takes his time pushing in and out without thrusting all the way, which surely builds the momentum and it definitely made you want more of him.

“I’ll go deeper” thankfully he noticed and pushed in finally. Thrusting a little bit quicker than earlier while his fingers are busy drawing circles on your clit.

Soon, you’re both on edge. Too shy to admit it but you can’t stop clenching and unclenching around him, “Stop doing that,” he says and kissed your neck, bitting the shell of your ear to hear you giggle while he makes you moan deliciously.

He came first as expected because you can’t stop moaning behind his ears and making him feel good with your tight walls. He shoots his cum on your stomach, away from your pussy while his other hand is continuously drawing fast circles and making you cum in no time.

You shivered like crazy and tried closing your legs but Haechan got a hold of it and overstimulated you.

“Wild-brutal, that’s you” you said while you continue to shiver, curl yourself in a ball and beg him to stop.

He kisses your body, avoiding his cum but still managed to suck your nipples good as you come down from your high. When you’re finally calm, you reached for the tissue on the coffee table to wipe yourself clean but he snatched the tissue from your hand and did it himself. After that, you moved your body and make room on the small couch so he can lie beside you, using his arms as your pillow, keeping you close to his sweaty body.

“You’re the second girl I kept in my arms tonight,” he says softly. Looking into your eyes directly. You know that it's his sister and it made you smile and planted a kiss on his lips.

“Can you keep it that way then?” you said, softly like how he spoke. He nods and tightens his hug.

“To be honest I feel like I’m a slut right now because I slept with you first... on my first day of school, my first day of meeting you-“

“Sssh. You think too much. You’re not a slut. I like you, you like me. It’s a normal reaction” he kisses your lips and your cheeks one too many times to make you giggle and eventually let go of your thoughts. “I have to go back to my friends” he added.

“What- No, stay, please. My parents wouldn’t mind” you begged but he shook his head and got up from his comfort.

“I’ll find you again”

“Well give me your phone” you said, eager to make him stay. Eager to stay in his life.

“I don’t have one because I can’t afford one” Haechan was shy to tell you the truth but he didn’t want to lie to you. But of course, you understand him instead of prying. You sat up, kissed him sweetly and told him,

“It’s fine. You know where I live, so we're going to do this old school then” you giggle and make the most of the few minutes you have with him. He reached for your panties and helped you wear them together with your shirt, leaving a soft kiss on your lower abdomen.

“Is that fine? Going old school?” He asks smiling and asking for another kiss.

“More than fine, that means I get to see you always” he giggled and told you that’s right and continued wearing the rest of his clothes.

The next day, Haechan woke up with a smile on his face by just merely thinking about you and thinking of going to your house tonight and surprise you after he hangs out with Jeno at the amusement park.

As his day went on with his best friend, all he thinks about is you. Did you eat already, how was your sleep, do you think of him, and what are you doing now? These are questions that he wanted to ask you because he misses you already, but also, these are the questions that attracted the universe into putting you both in the same place.

Just a few minutes ago, Haechan is thinking about you but now you’re right in front of him... with a blindfold at The Kissing Booth and about to kiss Jeno.... Jeno of all people.

There, Haechan stood and watch you and Jeno kiss in front of the audience. Watching your friends take a video and giggle as much as they want because you have no idea who you’re kissing right now. Oh they would kill to be in your position and taste Jeno’s lips. While you... you think about the gentleman who made you laugh over and over again last night, the gentleman who’s honest about everything, and the gentleman who made you feel good on your family couch last night.

And when you removed your blindfold, you can’t help but feel disappointed. It’s not Haechan you’re kissing, he hasn’t found you again.

When Jeno came closer and attempted to kiss you again, you pushed him away in front of many people, smiled and whispered, “We had our fun already, I think that’s enough. Sorry, I was hoping you’d be someone else” and came down from the stage to join your friends.

The disappointment in Jeno’s face was evident. He felt like he violated you or something and wanted to apologize further but you didn’t give him a chance. He saw Haechan standing in the corner with a soda in his hand and joined him, “That was something. I feel like I was taken to another dimension while I was kissing her. Damn I like her already” Jeno admits, having no clue that Haechan knows exactly what he’s talking about.

“Hey.... Haechan” you taped his shoulder which made him and Jeno turn around. You didn’t want to be bold and flirty with him in front of his friend so you just said hey.

Jeno was shocked to the core when you approached his friend and not him, and he was even more shocked to see you smile so sweetly at Haechan. “You know each other?” he asks you both nervously.

“Yes”

“No”

“N-no. Not really. Dude, everyone knows her. New girl in town plus she came by the store during my shift yesterday after school” Haechan explains. Completely denying that you two shared something special the other night.

Good thing Jeno believed and accepted Haechan’s explanation, so this time he didn’t waste any more time and shoot his shot. “I want to apologize to you. Can we go for a walk? Alone together-“

“Good idea man. I think I should go. I have a shift at the store, s-see you at school. B-both of you,” he says and awkwardly walks out and left you with Jeno.

You wanted to follow him, you would rather want to watch him work at the store than be with Jeno and waste your time strolling around the park, you’ve been wanting to be with him ever since you opened your eyes this morning and now you can’t believe that he denied you in front of his friend.

The whole time he was walking in circles around his neighborhood, Haechan can’t stop thinking about you and Jeno. Even hating the universe more for making him and Jeno like the same girl. Fuck, he murmured frustratingly until he came to a thought that maybe life brought you to Haechan’s life so he could finally give something back to his best friend.

Maybe he’s doing the right thing by letting you and Jeno get to know each other.

“You’re a fool,” his sister teases him while he watches her brush her teeth. Haechan just snorted and let out a small laugh knowing that his little sister is smart and that she’s growing up wise.

“But when you grow old you can’t just commit to something or someone if you know to yourself that you can’t. Be honest,” he kisses her sister good night and tucked her to bed. Wishing for her sister to grow up strong and smart, and not like him.

///

After a few weeks of seeing Jeno and going out on dates with him, you force yourself to think that what happened between you and Haechan is just a one time thing. That you were just horny teenagers that night who both had a bad day that’s why you thought it was something special.

It’s not that you’re using Jeno to forget Haechan, but Jeno is the one making his moves and trying so hard to impress you. He’s almost as nice as Haechan you thought. Maybe that’s why they’re best friends, and maybe that’s why now you look forward to seeing Jeno every day because you see Haechan in him.

Until one night, you and Jeno had a rather hot night that leads you two to his bed. Sex with Jeno is rough and fast and to be honest you forgot how many condoms he used because the sex was that good. And in that very moment, you realized that the only difference between Jeno and Haechan is the way they fuck. Jeno made you forget Haechan whenever you two are in bed and that made you want Jeno to fuck you more each day.

But Jeno is a natural sweetheart, a lover boy who shows you that he is a great man and a good person. “I know we fuck too much and it's obvious that something is bothering you” he says, hugging you closely while you’re on top of him after a very good car sex. “You can tell me, you know?” he added but you just shook your head no. “Okay okay, I understand. I love you. Whatever you’re going through or whatever that’s bothering you, continue to lean on me. Use me if you must,”

And right then and there, you decided to return the love Jeno is giving you.

It was not easy but it was worth it. Jeno loved you so much, more than you could ever imagine. You spend your senior year together, made memories each day, have good sex after school or during weekends, be the life of the party together, and meet each other’s family.

“Are you happy with me?” he whispers behind your ear while he hugs you from behind.

“What kind of question is that?” you said, turning around to meet his eyes and rake his hair away from his face. Not giving a fuck about the people watching you two flirt in the middle of a crowded place with drunk teenagers.

“Just a question. My way of checking if I’m still a good boyfriend” he admitted shyly. You rolled your eyes and came closer to him, planting a soft kiss on his lips which soon became heated and his hands roamed freely around your body.

“Mhmm. I'm happy, I love you” you whisper and you mean it.

“I love you too” he smiles and continues the kiss.

And while you two are in your own private world minding your business, Haechan watches from afar with a beer in his hand. Jealous, but not mad. Happy, but for you and his best friend. You deserve each other, he thought.

So as you and Jeno make your relationship strong and pour all your love on each other, Haechan became even more hardworking, focused more on his studies, and looking for more jobs to save more money. It was his way of forgetting you.

During a party that Jeno threw in his house, everything was intensely wild and everyone got drunk during the party, except Haechan because he was late due to his shift from one of his part-time job.

He saw you laughing with your friends near the poolside. You look beautiful tonight, as always. And at the same time, you look drunk already and all he wanted to do is take care of you but that’s not his job.

“Great that you’re here man, ugh. I’m so drunk” Jeno whines, almost about to throw but he’s still in control. “Here. Promised her dad I’d bring her home, but obviously, I can’t now. I can’t drive while I’m like this, knowing that she’s in the car with me. Too risky. Please dude, thank you”

And just like that, the responsibility and the power to take care of you is passed unto him.

“Baby, Haechan will bring you home- I can’t drive” Jeno admitted to you. Giving you his jacket before he walks you towards his car.

“W-what? Let me stay then, I’ll take care of you. Then you can drive me home when you’re sober” you said but your boyfriend said no and told you you’re as drunk as him. So you didn’t have a choice but to go inside the car with Haechan. He watched you two kiss goodbye and say your I love yous with each other before he drives away and takes you home.

The drive was silent. You didn’t dare to open your mouth and ask how he’s been, he didn’t dare to open his mouth and tell you that you’re beautiful. And it stayed like this until he reaches your house and parked in front of it.

“Do you remember the night that you walked me home?” you started, and you think it’s the alcohol that's talking. Haechan just nods and lets out a heavy sigh. “I wish it never happened. I wish I didn’t flirt back then and went back inside that bar instead of asking you to take me somewhere quiet” you admitted, feeling your heart break but you can finally breathe better now that you told him what you really feel. But deep inside you didn’t mean it. You’re just saying that because you’re still mad at him for denying you.

He unbuckles his seatbelt and reached for you, shamelessly hugging you, and placed a sweet kiss on your temple. You feel his tears and that made you hug him back. Staining his shirt with your tears that you kept for months.

“I’m sorry. I can’t give you what Jeno can give you. My life is a mess, I’m a trash and you deserve someone better. Someone who can take care of you, I can’t” he hugged you a little bit tighter to let you know that he’s sincere. And after a few minutes of silence, he explained his part to you and you listened attentively not because he owes you an explanation but because you miss his voice.

“When I was new here, bullies just won't stop teasing me, then Jeno became my friend and suddenly they all stopped. Jeno didn’t mind if I’m poor, he just wanted a brother and found it in me. That’s why whenever I’m in need he’s always to the rescue, my books, my mother’s job, this Rolex watch that I only use whenever I need it at work. I remember he gave this to me because he didn’t want to give me cash because he was afraid that will make me feel small. So instead he gave me this watch and expected me to pawn it. But I can’t because it’s like a token of our friendship”

“I get it. Bro code” you said calmly and watch him nod. “But who are you to tell me who to love. My heart still belongs to you when Jeno was courting me, I think about you when he kisses me-“

“Do you still feel the same way?” he blurted out, looking at your lips and thinking of kissing it one last time before you have your closure. But he won't.

“I love Jeno but you still have this great effect on me, you still have my heart” you admitted.

“I’m sure you understand me now. Why I don’t want to hurt my friend” you nod because you do understand him, you don’t want to hurt your boyfriend either, “He’s an angel” Haechan added.

When Haechan left and drove away, you feel like he took your heart away with him. Like that one specific night you had sex with him and you didn’t want him to go. You know what you said. You don’t want to hurt Jeno and you do love him, but what can you do? Your heart still belongs to Haechan.

After that understanding with Haechan, you suddenly became cold towards Jeno and all you could think about is Haechan. Obviously, Jeno can see right through you. He knows you, whenever something troubles you, you will keep it to yourself and you won’t tell it to him. So he made a way to cheer you up, but it ended up annoying you.

He invited you to his house to have a sleepover and movie night with him. The thing is, Jeno knew you love having sex with him so the moment you two are alone in his room with all the lights off and only his big flat-screen TV is on, he tried putting you in the mood and became way too touchy.

“Stop” you whine as Jeno starts kissing your neck while his hands roam free around your body. It feels good you can’t lie, but you’re not in the mood so you pushed him a little too hard which made him even more frustrated.

“What did I do wrong? I wish you could open up to me more, Y/n” he gets up from his bed and gave you space. “You’ve been like that for days and days already, I don’t know if I did something wrong. Baby, just tell me. I’ll fix it,”

And there it is. Your very reason why you loved him “Why do you have to be so nice?” you murmur and sat beside him. You knew that this isn’t the right time to tell him about Haechan, but he asked what's bothering you so you’re going to tell him the truth and do the right thing. Bravely, you told him every inch of your feelings, the truth about you and Haechan, and hopes that he will not get mad at you or his friend.

He listened. While Holding your hand. Close to tears but he won’t cry in front of you. Not yet. But now that he knows the truth about you and his best friend, he felt like he stole you from him.

“Don’t be mad at him, he just feels obligated to give back to all the kindness you have done to him and his family” you wait for his reaction. You expect him to get mad or throw a fit but all he did was kiss your knuckles, hold them tightly, and kept you close while he can.

“So what now? Do you need time? Space even? It hurts like hell, I must admit but I can’t force you to stay” he says, with tears in his eyes and trying so hard to look strong.

“I need space from the both of you, choosing is not easy. I don’t want to hurt you in the future Jeno” you said.

“I can’t force you to stay, but I can beg right? I love you-“ He cups your face and leaves too many kisses on your lips, saying he loves you over and over again, begging you to please choose him.

“I’m sorry Jeno, please don’t beg. You don’t deserve this,” you made him stop begging and pull him into a tight hug. Inviting him to come to bed with you and savor this night together while you can because, on the next day, you will leave him.  

///

When you broke up with Jeno and focused all your energy on school, you walk almost every day from school to your house just so you can sort out your thoughts.

Jeno stopped begging you to come back after a few months and got himself a new girlfriend while Haechan… well, he’s doing his best with avoiding you. Still, breaking up with Jeno is a wise decision because now it’s clear that you don’t love him like how you love and long for Haechan.

“Fuck” you curse at the rain for pouring out of nowhere and you have no choice but to enter the store that Haechan is looking after. Just like the rain, you came out of nowhere and shock him. But shocking him and ruining his peace was not your intention, you’re just waiting for the rain to stop so you can go and walk again.

Shivering because of the store’s air conditioning, you hug yourself to keep yourself warm in every way you can but it’s not enough. You tried going out again but the rain kept pouring and it started to rain hard again when you tried and open the door. But then you heard the sound of the air conditioning being turned off, and Haechan is behind you holding the remote and some extra clothes.

“You’ll get sick if you stay wet. Here-“ he awkwardly hands you an extra shirt and his hoodie, “You can change back there. There’s no one else in this store except me,” he says and points at the door for the staff room. Of course you accepted his offer and you’re happy that he still cares.

When you got back, you saw him preparing you a hot drink and made you sit on one of the vacant chairs. “How are you?” he asks, stirring the drink and puts it in front of you carefully.

“I’ve been well, thank you for asking. How about you? How's your sister?”

“I’m doing good too. And my sister is fine”

And after that, an awkward silence made you both giggle and feel shy about being alone in this cold store. But not for long. Haechan initiated the conversation and made small talk with you. If he’s being honest right now, he doesn’t want you to shut up. He wanted you to talk and talk freely without being shy… like that first night you spend together.

When the rain stopped, he walked you home again and you both enjoyed the cool breeze and wet street. Admiring the calmness that the rain brought. “Why did you avoid me? After me and Jeno broke up?” you asked calmly.

“I know we learned the hard way and we’ve been through some stuff” he came closer and put strands of your hair behind your ear, “I’ve been helping myself to be better for you so this time I won’t fuck us up, and I wasn’t avoiding you. I’m giving you time to heal” he smiles and looked into your eyes deeply.

“Can we start again?” he finally blurted out. “This is my final attempt on keeping you, and… I just want to fight for you this time”

The rain was a blessing after all. You don’t know if the rain was a sign of starting over again but you’re glad that you decided to walk today and got soaked in the rain and did not have a choice but to enter that convenience store. But you’re happy that the rain brought you back together, so you hugged him tightly as your answer and warned him with all your might.

“If I wake up tomorrow and you deny me again, I swear Lee Haechan-“

And just like that, he cuts you off with a kiss, an act of promise so you won’t need to worry for the next day. “My sister will kill me if I let go of you again” he giggles and continue kissing you.

Who would have thought that you need only the rain for you and Haechan to get back together? Because after that night, he kept his promise to you. He never left your side and you never left his. Life wasn’t easy for him still, but you made sure you stayed with him through thick and thin.

Even though Haechan can’t bring you to expensive dates or movie dates, being with him while he’s working at the convenience store is more than enough for you. “I love my job. I can earn money while having a study date with you in this cold store” he says, kissing your temple while you’re busy reading and studying beside him.

Your remaining high school days were full of him and you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

After graduation, you and Haechan planned on living together even though you’re both going to different schools, thankfully your schools aren’t that far from each other. Living together is not easy, your parents warned you. But Haechan made it easy for you because he loves you so much. Nonetheless, you would still choose a hard life with and just so you could be together the moment you open your eyes in the morning until you close them to end your day at night.

“It's you and me from now on, Y/n” he whispers beside your ear, hugging you from behind so tightly like you’re going somewhere and finally kiss you good night.

MAIN MASTERLIST FAQ / WIPS / CALENDAR ABOUT B

To this blog’s audience, please do not steal my works save yourself from the shame. Do not translate my works, they’re not worthy. Also if you see someone who stole my work, kindly reach out to me.

[albumadayallyear]

Aquemini - OutKast

January 5, 2020 

☆☆☆☆☆/☆☆☆☆☆

4.75 stars 

"Yᴏᴜ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴜs ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛʀʏ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴡᴇ'ʀᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ sᴏᴜᴛʜᴇʀɴ."

For today, I wanted to take a break from music I would usually seek out and try something new. I’m not a big fan of rap music like Drake or Kanye or Eminem and I’m especially not a fan of their little fanboys and so I, ignorantly, didn’t give rap music in general a try. This is a gross injustice and I realize now I need to be brought to court, because “Aquemini” was a masterpiece start to finish. 

The album starts with a smooth instrumental in the form of “Hold On, Be Strong.” As far as instrumentals go, I really liked the smoothness of the beat. Then, their first song with words is “Return of the ‘G.’” This song serves as the groundwork for the rest of the album. This song tells the listener that they are not what they appear to be in the public and dismantles stereotypes in a rather clever and wordy way. I really admire both Andre’s and Big Boi’s way of fitting so many words and phrases into small two bar phrases. They’re geniuses. 

My favorite song on the album is their “Rosa Parks.” The track details Andre and Big Boi’s mission of dismantling stereotypes of southern rap music and focusing toward their musical revolution. They’re calling on the audience to follow this revolution as they followed Rosa Parks during the Montgomery Bus Boycotts. The hook is really catchy and the production is also great. There’s a break in the middle of the song where old-school blue grass is incorporated with the more modern beat and I love that. In a song where they rap about joining them with modernizing southern rap music, they modernize another form of southern music. 

“Skew It On The Bar-B” carries the note over from “Rosa Parks.” This song calls on people again to join their southern-infusion rap and features Raekwon, member of the famous East-Coast rap group, Wu-Tang Clan. The production on this track sounds darker sonically and more New York. You can definitely hear the East-Coast influences. 

“Aquemini” details Andre and Big Boi’s friendship more in depth and how despite everything good coming to an end, they’re going to keep working together until it isn’t possible for them to do so anymore. Andre also takes this time to detail the black experience while growing up in East Point, Georgia (a suburb of Atlanta). I liked the person touch Andre added to the track. 

“Synthesizer” also has great production on it. Speaking about the effects of modern technology on people and relationships, the song features a machine-like beeping the background and the verses are crowded. While Big Boi or Andre raps, George Clinton sings around their words- adding onto this idea of the turn of the century technology adding too much noise and making actual conversations “synthetic,” since they cannot take their minds off of their tech. 

The only song I really didn’t like was “mamacita.” The hook was downright annoying and I wasn’t a huge fan of the production. 

I think “Y’all Scared” needs a bit more credit. Coming from Texas and Georgia,  I really hate the stereotypes of an uneducated, hillbilly South. I think it’s classist and moving to Iowa from Texas, I was remember I had to lose my Texas drawl because I wasn’t taken seriously. It seems OutKast feels the same. They tell people that the Deep South isn’t to be underestimated and they’ve shown time and time again they should be taken seriously, this track being another example of their musical prowess. 

I thought it was interesting how “Nathaniel,” that’s about a friend in prison, came before the song “Liberation.” The latter song details Andre’s desire to artistically express himself without worrying about the opinions of others and features Cee-Lo’s rich, soulful vocals to create a well-rounded track. 

“Chonkyfire” is another personal favorite of mine. I love the guitar riffs mixed with the electronica sound in the back. I love the ending, “The South got somethin’ to say, That’s all I got to say.” 

[misscarolineshelby]

My Friend’s Father (Part One of Three)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Smut

Words: 2,528

Notes: Alright, no judgment. This was a dream of mine and I felt like I had to write it down. Everyone in this Fic is over the age of 18 and this Fic is in no way based on Cillian’s real family life. It’s pure filth.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

You inhaled the calming aroma of your tea as you looked out into the familiar back yard while your friend Denise puttered around in the kitchen as she made you a snack.

Her mother, Laura, had recently moved out of the house and you came to visit her for the first time since, wanting to give her and her parents some time to adjust before intruding.

Denise was the same age as you and had recently started her university degree at Trinity College. You, on the other hand, attended a different university in Galway which is where you had moved to six months ago with your parents.

For a long time, you and your parents lived across the road from Denise and her parents. You both attended high school together and had become best friends.

Now, your old house was occupied by a new family with their two adorable little children and, whilst they seemed nice, Denise felt somewhat lonely not having a friend live nearby.

Denise had a brother named Liam who was 23 and still lived at home as well. He was only two years older than you and Denise and had always liked you quite a lot.

You, on the other hand, were never really interested in him and when, one night, he kissed you, you stayed away from Denise’s house for a few weeks to avoid the awkwardness.

‘He’s been working out’ you observed as you watched Liam mow the lawns outside. The buzz of the lawn mower got louder as he finished the front and methodically mowed his way around back.

‘Yes, he has been ever since he knew that you would be staying with us for the long weekend’ Denise laughed but you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

‘Honestly, I would still prefer watching your dad mowing the lawns Denise, especially if he was shirtless and all sweaty’ you teased, knowing that your comment would get under her skin just as much as her comment about her brother got under yours.

‘Oh god, you are disgusting’ Denise said while her face evidentially turned green.

‘What? Your dad is hot’ you said before asking her where he was.

‘In Manchester, filming the last season of Peaky Blinders. He will be back tonight, unfortunately’ Denise said, enjoying to have the house for herself instead.

‘Oh, so he’s got the haircut?’ you asked somewhat excited, causing your friend to roll her eyes.

‘Yes, the infamous haircut’ she chuckled before you told her again that you thought that her father was quite attractive.

‘I know you have been saying that for years. Yet, it’s still weird and grosses me out’ Denise sighed before reminding you that you have boyfriend who would not appreciate you talking about other men like this.

‘We broke up two weeks ago. He was getting a little too possessive’ you explained before you described your two-month relationship to your friend.

‘Well, sounds like you dodged a bullet there’ Denise said, repeating the age-old break-up response and you nodded, thankful that your friend was there to cheer you up, but still feeling wounded by the whole ordeal.

‘Let’s not hit on my dad though, alright?’ she then laughed and you nodded again in agreement before Denise showed you the guestroom in which you would be staying.

***

At around 9 o’clock the front door of the house opened and you watched Denise and Liam get up to greet their father who had just arrived back home after having been away for three weeks’ straight.

‘I am glad to see that you haven’t trashed the house’ he chuckled and you quickly poked your head into the corridor to say hello.

‘Hey Mr Murphy’ you said with a wide smile when you saw him. He looked incredible, as usual.

‘Jesus, Y/N can you please start calling me Cillian’ he reminded you before greeting you and asking you how you liked Galway. You had known him for a while and he had told you on many occasions that the term ‘Mr Murphy’ made him feel rather old.

After some small talk, you and Denise returned to the living room to give him some time to tune down after having been away.

The two of you curled up on the couch in the living room with popcorn and a cheesy movie, just like old times and, at around 11 o’clock, you both decided that it was time for bed.

After getting changed into your somewhat revealing satin pyjamas, you tippy toed across the hallway into the main bathroom in order to brush your teeth when, suddenly, the bathroom door opened and Cillian stood in front of you with nothing but a white towel wrapped around him.

‘Uhm, I am sorry Mr Murphy…uhm Cillian’ you said with embarrassment, realising that you had almost barged into him but he didn’t seem bothered at all.

‘Don’t worry Y/N, it’s alright. Have a good night’ he said, getting out of the way and you stumbled into the bathroom.

Without closing the door, you starred at him walking down the hallway. How on earth could a man his age look so incredibly good you wondered as your eyes took in his toned body.

When he eventually disappeared into his bedroom and you closed the bathroom door behind you, all you could smell was the scent of the soap he had used mixed with a hint of his aftershave.

You know you shouldn’t think about your friend’s father this way, but you also couldn’t help yourself. After all, you knew that you were one of many women who were attracted to him.

***

When you finally went to bed, you felt a familiar tingle between your legs as you thought about Cillian in the shower. The image didn’t leave your mind and you wondered what he would look like without the towel wrapped around him.

With this attractive man on your mind, you slowly slid your fingers down into your panties and began to relieve yourself of the tension that had built up there.

You knew that the master bedroom was right next to yours and the thought of this turned you on even more. You knew he would be lying there, on his bed, possibly half naked.

Both windows were open and he did, indeed, lie there, on his bed, reading a book which is when he heard it, your soft moans and whimpers.

He couldn’t help but swallow harshly, knowing what you were doing right there with only a thin wall between you.

But the thought that he may be able to hear you didn’t stop you as you rubbed little circles around your tingling clit a bit faster until, finally, with one loud moan, you climaxed.

Just as you did, Cillian’s manhood stirred but he wasn’t willing to give in. He had too much self-control and his mind tried hard to focus on the book in his hands rather than the sounds you were making. You were his daughter’s friend and, whilst you were almost 22, this was highly inappropriate.

****

The next morning Cillian jolted awake when the alarm clock on his phone went off and he realised that he had forgotten to turn off the alarm when he returned home after being away filming.

It was only 7 o’clock but, since he was awake now, he climbed out of bed anyway and shuffled his way to his bedroom door. He made his way to the bathroom and shut the door behind him. He turned on the light and the shower water in one long movement.

After he got out of the shower and back into his shorts and a t-shirt, he wobbled out of the steamy bathroom into the kitchen where he smelled something burn.

Then, all of a sudden, he froze as he watched you standing there, flipping a pancake with precision on the stove without the use of utensils. You were unaware of his presence and he could even hear the song you were listening to on your phone.

You moved to the beat and Cillian was awestruck. After what he heard you do last night in the guestroom, his jaw dropped a few centimetres every time you rocked with the backbeat of the song.

You were wearing the same night shorts and spaghetti strap shirt you wore the night before but in the light of the sun you noticed your shorts were somewhat see through and your shirt was silk that didn't cover your breasts completely.

Eventually, you noticed something out of the corner of your eye. A statue you hadn't noticed before? No, it was Cillian standing in the dining room, his mouth hanging slightly and his eyes glued to the scene before him. You paused and began to turn to the frozen figure that was still in your peripheral vision.

You yanked on the string connected to your ears expertly and one of your earphones popped out of place. Then you smiled at the shock on Cillian’s face but didn't stop moving to the song playing in your head. Cillian forced his mouth closed when he made eye contact.

‘Good morning Cillian’ you said softly. He gulped and nodded quickly before moving to where the coffee machine was standing and turning it on.

‘Good morning’ he then replied before offering you a coffee which you gladly accepted, causing Cillian to move over to the stove to reach for two cups.

You didn't move to make it easier for him to reach above the stove to the cups. Instead, you made him stretch his body over you.

You watched him as he did and you saw him trying not to look at you. He failed miserably.

‘Do you want pancakes?’ you then asked with a warm smile and Cillian nodded.

‘That would be amazing, thanks’ he stammered as he was preparing the coffees.

‘Do you like blueberries?’ you then asked, still swaying to the music on your phone and Cillian nodded again but didn't realise that you were pouring pancake mix in the pan and couldn't see his response. After a moment you looked over to him.

‘Do you like blueberries?’ you asked again quietly and Cillian smiled and nodded again.

‘Yeah, I like ...’ he cleared his throat before adding the word ‘blueberries’.

He rolled his eyes at his response when you turned back around but you simply smiled and walked him over a stack of blueberry pancakes and a bottle of maple syrup.

‘There you go’ you said as you put the plate in front of him and felt his eyes follow you when you turned around and back to the stove.

A few minutes later you dumped one last pancake on a third plate and put the plate in the microwave. You took your plate and cup of coffee and went to sit by Cillian where his food was barely touched.

‘Not hungry?’ you asked as you began to eat.

‘It’s early’ he responded, still trying hard not to stare at your cleavage.

Eventually though, you both ate in silence, a silence you loved and Cillian hated.

He couldn't think of a single joke the entire time you both sat there and you just smirked every time he grunted instead of speaking.

Soon you could hear Denise walk through the living room and this was Cillian hurried up and ate the last bit of his pancakes before excusing himself.

***

‘Wow, you actually got him to eat in the morning. That’s something’ Denise joked as she walked into the kitchen and saw that her father had eaten some of the pancakes you had prepared.

‘Where did he go?’ you then asked, knowing that he had excused himself without any further explanation.

‘Down to the basement, listening to some music I would say’ Denise said as she dug into the pancakes, enjoying them quite a lot.

‘Talking of music, do you have an iPhone charger? My phone is almost out of charge’ you asked, looking at the battery on your phone.

‘No, I’ve got a Samsung. Dad has iPhone though. Go downstairs and ask him’ Denise then suggested and you nodded before making your way down towards the basement.

***

You walked down to the basement and knocked before opening the door slowly as you didn’t hear Cillian answer you.

You didn’t want to intrude on his privacy but, to your surprise, when you did open the door, you saw more than you had bargained for.

Cillian was sitting in front of his computer and it was quite obvious to you what he was watching.

You could see most of the screen from the angle at which you were standing as well as his hardening cock in his hand. He reached over and squirted some lotion onto his palm, lubricating his whole shaft before beginning to stroke with soft squelching sounds.

You wondered whether you should say something or whether you should just turn around and leave. But, you did neither and, instead, you watched as you were getting more and more turned on.

He fast forwarded and jumped around through different videos, his thick cock towering over his fist at the bottom of every stroke. You could feel that you were getting wet, but starting to cramp a little in your unchanged position after so long. There was something deliciously naughty about watching him in secret.

After ten minutes Cillian settled on a video of a young lady who had remarkably familiar features. Her hair was about the same length and colour as yours and her skin tone and build were strikingly similar.

You started breathing more heavily and pressed your legs together to deal with the tingling sensation in your core. You enjoyed watching the porn actress's performance while Cillian’s heavy, throbbing shaft disappeared under his fist faster and faster. His cock was beautiful and you wanted to walk into the room so badly and replace his hand with yours.

Eventually, you could see Cillian’s abs begin to twitch and tighten as he got closer to his high as he continued to stroke his shaft.

‘Fuck’ he groaned as he started to cum, pumping jet after jet of stickiness back towards his chest, causing you to gulp.

But you knew what you had to do. You couldn’t walk in now, it would be too awkward.

Just after you watched Cillian clean himself up, you quickly tippy toed back upstairs which is where Denise was waiting for you.

‘Did you get dad’s charger?’ she asked but you simply shook your head.

‘Uhm, he didn’t have one…left it in Manchester I think’ you said with flushed cheeks.

‘Are you okay Y/N? You look a bit hot?’

‘Uhm…yes…fine…thanks’ you stammered out before telling Denise that you would go and have a shower.