#ok fuckin hell these are a lot of tags

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Oh btw... righting a wrong I should have righted long ago and makin the Rowdyruff Boys familial f/os 🥺 They are my fuckign sonssssss 💙❤️💚

[astranauticus]

todays orv mood: standing at the water dispenser under my dorm building waiting for my instant noodles to cook just pacing in circles and swearing

[nasa-parker]

the “did any of us do drugs?” “yeah, you did!” cutting and then the teenage rebellion outro playing was so perfect

[pastelpigeonparadise]

I've seen a lot of Constantine mentoring Danny fics and prompts, and one of them had a random joke in the tags that John and clockwork had "history" and this immediately came into my brain

The justice league were sitting around the table, John Constantine sipping from his seemingly neverending flask and ignoring whatever the hell batsy was droning on about.

"Constantine" batman growled, "this is not a joke or a game, this is a potentially world-ending threat, pay attention"

"yeah, yeah, you got a ghost problem, do you even have a fuckin picture of 'em?" Ancients, whenever bats got on his high horse it was easier to go along with him, but he sure made it hard to like the fucker

Batman grunted and projected a staticy blurred photo of a young man with whispy white hair in a black Hazmat suit floating about a pond covered in transparent green blobs.

He couldn't contain his laugh as he looked at the photo "that's why you called this meeting? You think he's a world ending threat? Ha! Your little he'll spawn more of a threat than Danny"

Ok, so maybe it wasn't his best idea to provoke bats but seriously! This was a goddamn joke, kid wouldn't hurt a fly! Unless it was a ghost, but like, that's a ghost thing, fighting is how they make friends

"you mean you have met this entity?" Bats growled, tense and staring directly at john

"Yeah I've met him, he's my stepson" and oh, he /knew/ bats was gonna interrogate him to hell and back, but that stunned silence, the astonished aura? That was so fuvking worth it

[stealingpotatoes]

POTES SEMI-LIVEBLOGS KOTOR!

ive been writing my thoughts in the notes app but due to popular demand (one person asked for it) i'm posting my liveblogging DO NOT SAY/TAG/COMMENT SPOILERS PLEASE i read tags

warning im a yapper, im 10 hours in and theres a lot already (separated into sessions):

SESSION 1

whos this clown i thought i would be playing as revan

ive been too spoiled by dragon age origins this character creator sucks ass

only human???? ): fr?? ill just imagine her different in my brain or some shit

my life is being mansplained to me. is this bad writing or do i have amnesiacs

hes meta now??? hes talking abt the screen controls?????

omg a jedi and an evil jediii

omg their asses suckedddd they both died immediately

i <3 bringing a sword to a gun fight

WHY R THERE SO MANY SITH WHERE IS TJE RULE OF TWO

i clicked a workbench and it said lightsaber so either i get a lightsaber or i get a jedi friend whose lightsaber i can steal if im careful

I assume u play as revan in kotor2 so im gonna buy that now so i can play it when im done playing w this clown

i got light side points im getting a good grade in game morality which is something both normal to want and possible to achieve

everyone keeps saying revan is dead but thats my friend revan from tumblr hes clearly alive. or they???

my characters ass is distractingly present onscreen

huge fan of the way everyone collapsed drunk what the FUCK was in that wine

ok these sith ppl might be the bad guys but their armour is DRIPPY AS FUCK

ideologically i dont agree w the sith but they kinda went off w the fits

googling how to become a sith without being evil cause they have Drip

SESSION 2

i paid £1.19 to see revan he better show up in this game at some point

all these sith n i still cant find one revan….. stop faking ur death rn come out n talk to me babygirl this isnt like u….

why can i be light/dark side if im not a jedi. give me a laser sword

maybe this jedi gyal will know where revan is faking his death. or give me a fuckin lightsaber PLEASEEE

was just thinking 'does this game have romance' and then carth called me beautiful. i dont think im gonna romance anyone until i get this amnesia sorted

why is carth questioning me so much abt the crash im pretty sure i have amnesia

why tf did the jedi lady have me transferred to this ship are we in lesbians with each other???

carth's not wrong it is suspicious but i lowkey have amnesia so i coulda done that i coulda not

a lot of clone wars voice actors in this. was lucasfilm so broke in the 2000s that they could only afford the same 3 VAs for every project

mission is 14??????? we need to get my girl back in school

SESH 3

tale as old as time i fucking suck at racing games

ok i didnt realise you had to mash click i won

REVAN!!! REVAN!!!!!!!!!

why am i dreaming abt revan tho. real as hell but ?????

lmao cringe revan getting blown up. i thought the jedi beat rev-meister in a fight but no. accident

"such visions are often a sign of force sensitivity" COOL YAY GIVE ME A LIGHTSABER

BASTILLE LOST HER FUCKING LIGHTSABER??

CARTH IS RIGHT THATS LIKE DAY ONE JEDI SHIT. ok i still love her even tho shes a bit of a bitch and also doesnt have a saber

if we find a lightsaber im taking it first tho

whys carth getting weird abt me being weird that he doesnt trust me. i just wanna be friends mate

SESH IV: A NEW HOPE

'i mean no disrespect, but perhaps one of the male slaves could serve you better' i went in here to start a slave revolution and instead got called a lesbo

LMAO THERES A SPICE LAB???? WALTER WHITE WHERE ARE YOU

thats insaneee they blew up BILLIONS of people to get to one jedi?????? these sith arent fucking around theyre scary

UM THIS IS CRAZY GRAPHICS THE LIGHTING IS CLEARER/DARKER WHEN I COVER THE SUN W THE SHIP EDGE?? 2003 IS THE YEAR OF THE FUTURE

someone just called me padawan i kinda assumed i was in my late 20s do i just have baby vibes

all the jedi in the movies are so chill but every kotor jedi i've met so far has been a bit of a bitch

YO THEY HAVE A YODA!!! its not THE yoda but

cool so these guys are just the regional managers at best. your asses are not the council

why can everyone smell my force juju so strong

THATS STRAIGHT UP YODA'S CLONE WARS VA

why does fake yoda not blink both eyes at the same time. im calling him master tortimer he reminds me of the animal crossing mayor

bastila there was no need for such a fancy bow

malak is like evil aang

revan is so much shorter than malak omg

are me and bastila sharing dreams. are we both obsessed w revan

poor mission ):

WHAT WAS MASTER TORTIMER ABT TO SAY????????? EVER SINCE WHEN??? DID WE KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE MY AMNESIACS????? DID BASTILA TELL U SMTHN MORE WHEN I WASNT IN THE ROOM???

im intrigued i like this whole hidden jedi shtick its very compelling. so is whatever theyre hiding from me

kinda surprising no jedi found me before tho given my force juju is so strong

IM A LEGIT JEDI NOW??? SICK!!!

does revan rlly not have pronouns i thought that was a tumblr thing but they straight up are a nonbinary icon ive never heard a single pronoun used. revan's pronouns are revan/revan's

damn revan seems so cool in these stories (charismatic war hero that convinced their troops to join them as conqueror?? julius caesar) and yet all we've seen them do onscreen is get blown up and die by accident

A YEAR AGO? the way they were talking i assumed revan died like. a week before the game started

master uh i forgot his name he has martin scorcese vibes said revan was a paragon of the jedi so what im getting is that all jedi gifted kids turn evil

even if i didnt know revan as a tumblr darling id KNOW revan has to be alive somewhere they way everyone talks abt them is too cool for a character who exploded and died. i think. i hope. I PAID £1.19 TO MEET REVAN

'only you and bastila can stop malak' seriously????? just us two?? ive been a jedi for like, 6 minutes and you guys keep calling bastila young???? do you guys not wanna help??

omg im getting carth to traumadump! <3

HE WAS ON REVAN'S ARMY>??

i totally knew the jedi code and did not have to google it whatsoever

they rlly said fuck going to illum heres a crystal from the bin

he told me id be a great sentinel and i was like i know but i want blue cause i dont wanna be matchies with bastila

OGH!!! I HAVE A LIGHTSABER!!!! THIS IS GAME OF THE YEAR!!!!

omg i made my lightsaber perfectlyyy which is rare <3 getting a good grade in jedi

maybe i was a travelling lightsaber salesman before my amnesia

seriously though WHO was i everyone's kinda stopped acting like i have amnesia since the first mission BUT IVE PLAYED DRAGON AGE THAT GIVES YOU OPPORTUNITIES TO RP UR PAST. THIS DOESNT. EITHER THIS GAME IS BAD (but i love it so its not) OR I HAVE RETROGRADE AMNESIA

also everyone keeps being like "Oh ur force juju is so strong" AND NOBODY FOUND ME TIL NOW??? suspicious. did getting a really bad concussion activate the force in me

im too confused and amnesiac'd to think abt anything except the fact i have a glowing stick now

FSESH FIVE:

big fan of using aliens to avoid having to get VAs to read every line

oh so carth's boyfriend saul betrayed him and became leader of the sith fleet so he has trust issues

well he needs to calm down. i can't betray him cause i dont know what the fuck is happening

yooo i love the design differences on the mandalorians

oh my god this lady wanted to fuck her droid cause it was her husband's. and then it killed itself. wtf. game of the year tho

wtf they jebaited this juhani person into going dark side but then i talked her out of it. that seems a bit mean of them

i hope she can join my party she looks too unique to be a random npc

ive been thinking and I might be going crazy but there was a loading screen tip ages ago that said jedis could wipe ppl's mind and all i thought at the time was 'fuck the shitshow acolyte didnt make that up'. but what if one of them wiped MY memory and i used to be a jedi or smthn ????????

cause they keep being like ur weirdly good at this??? did bastila steal my memories??????????

I KNOW I HAVE AMNESIA!! EVEN IF EVERYONE DOESN'T BRING IT UP BC THEYRE PROBABLY TRYING TO SAVE MY FEELINGS

if i dont have amnesia and im just deeping the fact the opening had my life being mansplained then im gonna look real stupid

anyway time 2 go to the fuckshit ruins cave where r-dog and malak went to

"it must be referring to revan. the dark lord and malak--" revan's pronouns are revan/thedarklord

bastila said theres no mention of the Builders in the archives. does she just know every text off by heart

THIS DROID IS 20K YEARS OLD ???

omg i can equip 2 lightsabers at once. game of the year

OK I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT THE AMNESIA BASTILA IS ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY BACKGROUND THAT I CAN ANSWER. I REPEAT I DO NOT HAVE AMNESIA

ok i didnt get choices and i didnt really uh… say anything that i didnt already get told im still not ruling out amnesia

also booo i didnt get to find out how old i was

master tortimer rlly looks like the ultimate ketamine yoda

LMAO THERE WAS A DIALOGUE OPTION 2 CALL JUHANI A CATGIRL

omg kashyyk from jedi fallen order!!!

I CAN UPGRADE MY LIGHTSABER THIS IS JUST LIKE JFO

omg this ship is fun i wish everyone had personalised bunk spaces like hfw… a game which came out 19 years after this i should probably just take what we have

im gonna start w manaan cause im p sure thats what B-dog said n its the same language the droid was speakin

omg hyperspace from star wars

THE GUY THE BUILDING FELL ON???

am i having dreams abt revan bc bastila killed revan and im connected to her this is so roundabout

maybe i'd sleep better if my ponytail wasnt clipping into the pillow

[kiwi accent] six

carth needs a xanax every time i think we're friends he stops trusting me

also lmao he actually pointed out how wild it was that a day one padawan is being sent on this uber important mission and HES RIGHT IT IS WEIRD!! i thought it was main character logic but he's calling it out

i really really like the sense of unease that's setting in like at first i thought it was just cause im not used to 2003 games but no this is on purpose bc carth my friend carth keeps calling it out

THERE IS A CHILD ON MY SHIP ??????????????????

lmao the representative for menaan is roland wann. its like poetry it rhymes

there are no cameras in the sith hangar <3 rookie error i can commit crimes now

bastila's favourite hobby is getting shot and walking into my grenades

this isnt a combat system this is a missing system

I GOT ARRESTED???? IM JUST A GIRL

nvm i had a datapad that said the sith were evil so theyve let me go free and we're besties

why do i feel like ive just walked into an underwater horror mission

this suit waddles at the speed of a penguin on fentanyl

i tamed the beastie this is like how to train your dragon

MALAK FIRED ON REVAN?????? WERENT THEY BEST FRIENDS???????

but maybe revan escaped when bastila wasnt looking THEYRE FINE THEYRE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. I BELIEVE

so hopefully when we run into revan they'll be like agh i changed my ways cause of the being shot thing and they'll be my bestie

great news i successfully communicated w the ship child and gave her back to dantooine. my girl has shockingly good linguisitics skills

bastila is so dour "oh watch out for the dark side" GIRL I AM. I NEED TO GET THE BEST GRADE IN GAME MORALITY

ok OFF TO KASHYYK i hope cal kestis is there… thru the force i guess… bc he wont be born for another 4000 years but its whatever

omg you'll never guess what. another vision. wow its one of the thangs. cool this is a tomorrow me problem

[marrrrss]

Hank Voight x reader. A child had come to her and was begging to be saved. She didn't know what to do and contacted Hank. While the team investigates, she and the child bond. Unknowingly, the assailant had eyes on them and kidnapped both of them. Leaving Hank race against time to save them. You decide how it ended. Tag me later! Thanks!!! :))

Against the clock (Pt.1)

Bf! Hank Voight x Gf! Reader x kid

Hell a lot of angst but fluff end

Summary: request

TW : kidnapping, guns, swearing

Words count: 1 735 words

Writer's note: omg anonymous, this is so good!!!!! If you want me to tag your account on the post text me on dm's :))

Took me days to write it 🫣Enjoy!

(gift's not mine)

A cop and a nurse, maybe cliché but You and Hank have been dating for over 3 years. Before the second year mark you had moved in with him and with it came helping kids from Hank cases that had nowhere to go.

You had a day off and as Hank would be the whole day at the station you went to have breakfast with your sister Anna and her husband Parker.

"Plans for tonight?" Anna asks you as the 3 of you leave the diner after having breakfast.

"Take out, beers, and a movie when Hank comes back home," y/n says sipping her coffee.

"pray that he'll be home on time," Parker says with a chuckle

"Watch it Parker. Keep it on and I won't go to your work promotion" you say giving him a smack on the arm and a look that makes him put his hands up in surrender "alright alright I'll stop it"

"You'll never learn babe. Hey, see you later y/n and don't drink too much" Anna says as she hugs you goodbye.

"See you later and I'm not 15"

"Never too late to care about my sister," Anna says as y'all break the hug.

As Anna and Parker leave for their car to go to work, and you wave goodbye you decide to take a walk around the city because you really don't have anything to do (and cleaning the house ain't on the plans at all).

Walking around a park that was quite empty because of work hours, you see in the distance a kid running in your direction. As the kid comes close you notice the dirty clothes and crying and panicked face.

Before you can react the kid is in front of you "I- I- need help. Please help me" he says with a cracking voice hugging your leg.

The kid couldn't be more than 5 years old, he was begging "Please help me"

"Hey, its ok. What's your name?" y/n says kneeling down to be on eye level with the kid rubbing his arm.

"I- I'm Liam..." The kid, Liam, answers cleaning his tearful eyes.

"Alright, I'm Y/n. Are you hurt? Can you tell me what happened?" your eyes are all over the kid seeing if you can spot any injury on Liam

Instead of an answer you receive a hug from the kid. He was seeking comfort desperatly.

You had no idea what was going on or what happened. At least you didn't notice the kid being hurt. As you hug the kid back you call Hank knowing he would help with this weird, freaking, and confusing situation.

"Hey, what's up honey? Everything ok?" it didn't take too long to hear Voight's voice through the phone.

"busy?" "Not really what's up?"

"I- uhm" you take a pause to try to form a phrase with some sense. "Alright I left the coffee shop with Ana and Parker and I went to the park nearby and I saw this kid scared and panicking. He doesn't seem hurt but is panicked. He just told me he needs help, can you uhm... come around an-"

"I'm on my way. Dont move or leave the kid" Voight says over the phone getting up leaving his office and signaling Adam to follow him leaving the rest of the team asking what's going on.

"Thanks. This does feel right Hank. Something is going on" you say rubbing Liam's back, which he keeps sobbing and whispering asking for help.

"I'm on my way with Adam, don't move. I'll be there in 10, ok?" Hank was already in the car on the driver's seat as Adam was on the passager seat.

As Hank hangs up the call and starts driving Adam turns to him "what's going on?"

"y/n found a kid scared and fuckin panicking on the park. She fells something happened before the kid appeared. Let's go there and check it out." Hank asnwes with a sight having no idea what was going on. It was supposed to be a slow day damnit.

"did the kid talk?" Rusek turns his face to look at Hank as he drives.

Voight' sales his head, eyes focused on the Chicago roads. "No he didn't say anything. Y/n said she doesn't see the kid hurt or anything but this doesn't feel alright. A kid doesn't appear around in a park like that for nothing."

When Hank and Adam arrive at the park , they spot you on a bench with Liam on your lap. He's cuddling on you but his dirty clothes are noticeable by far.

"hey sweetheart. What's going on" Hank's asks as he gets closer

"hey, I found this little guy Liam. And yeah... Help me out. " Y/n says looking up to Voight and Rusek. "You can tell them Liam. They're friends and they're gonna help" Liam hearing your words slowly peaks up to look at Hank and Adam that give him a simple smile .

"i- uhm... Someone got into my house... There were gun shots..." Liam says in a small voice. Afraid of what could happen .

"do you know where you leave Liam?" *Voight was speaking in a sweet voice. Doing everything to not freak out the kid. Liam nods his head and leaves your lap grabbing your hand so you could follow him.

"oh ok I think we'll follow you Liam" you say getting up starting to walk next to Liam looking back at Hank and Adam with a 'whats going on' look.

As you aproach the house next to Liam, the front door is open and the front window shatered. With one look to Hank you pull Liam back as Voight and Rusek pulled out their guns to expection the house.

The house was clear. A male boddy on the top floor next to the stair case. By the looks a overdose and a gun shot to the chest. A female boddy on the living room with a shot to her head and a bag next to her with guns and a whole bunch of cash.

As Hank and Adam leave the house, Adam is already on the phone to call the rest of the team and patrol as Hank comes up to you.

"This place is a mess, we'll clean it out and see whatever did this and why. You take the kid to MED, check him out and try to get his last name or something, by the looks of this house... his parents might be on our database." hank sights "not the day off you talked about"

"The beers and take out will have to wait i guess" y/n says picking up Liam again. "and not the calm day you talked about. I'll head up to med, when i have something I'll call you"

"Call me when you have updates. I'll do the same"

Leaving med and knowing the kid has no injuries you go over to the district. Arriving you leave Liam with Trudy so you could go upstairs to intelligence.

"Hey" y/n say entering inteligence. "The kid's name is Liam Kennedy. The last thing he did in Med was some blood work. Procedure. His mom is Sabrina Kennedy and his father Joel Kennedy, he had and overdose 5 years ago around when Liam was born and overdosed again 2 years ago"

"and that Joel guy is on our database as a witness of an old case" Kevin says from his desk "and now he's dead. Well killed as forensic says. Like his wife"

"So... Y'all think Liam run away from being... killed?" The thoughts on your mind of a 5 Year old running away from a scene like this were killing you.

"probably. We're still trying to get the footage from the other side of the street" Voight says as he sees you sitting next to him on the desk as everyone was looking at the board with information about the case.

-

During the rest of the day the intelligence team keeps working on the case to find the killer. What no one knew is that he had eyes on everyone all the time .

Liam had stayed the night at your and Hank's place. Because of him you took the day off praying that the case would get closed today.

Leaving home the next day after

making sure Liam had breakfast and was settled with some cartoons, you decided to run a quick errand. Hank had reassured you he’d have a patrol car stationed outside for extra security, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of unease.

The errand didn’t take long, but when you returned, the house was eerily quiet. The patrol car outside was empty, and your heart sank as you opened the door.

“Liam?” you called out, stepping into the living room. The TV was still on, but the little boy was nowhere in sight. A muffled sound came from the hallway—quick, heavy footsteps—and before you could react, a figure emerged, shoving you back and clamping a cloth over your mouth. The sharp, chemical smell overtook you as you struggled, and everything went black.

Back in inteligence Hank was going crazy trying to contact you.

“Where are they?” Hank’s voice was sharp, but beneath it, there was a tension that only came when something hit too close to home. Trudy’s voice had been tight when she reported that the patrol unit outside your house hadn’t checked in. When Adam confirmed your phone was going straight to voicemail, Hank’s heart sank.

Arriving at the house, Hank felt the chill run through him. The patrol car was empty, the driver-side door slightly open. Inside the house, the door hung ajar, and the living room bore unmistakable signs of a struggle. A broken coffee mug on the floor. The faint scuff marks of a fight. No sign of you or Liam.

Hank ran a hand over his face, the tension building to a boil. “They were here,” he muttered, voice low and dangerous. His fists clenched as he turned to Jay, who was already scanning the room for anything useful. “Whoever did this… they don’t know who the hell they’re messing with.”

Jay glanced at him, his expression serious but resolute. “We’ll get them, Hank. Kev’s pulling footage from the neighborhood cams. We’ll find the car, and we’ll find them.”

Hank’s jaw tightened, his eyes burning with determination. “Not ‘if.’ We will.”

(PART 2 ⬇️)

[w2soneshots]

Can you do a oneshot where Simon is saying it is to easy to be pregnant so he has to wear a fake Belly for 24 hours and they will be filming the howl day beeing pregnant together

Easy -W2S

words: 0.4k+

warnings: pregnancy.

summary: Harry thinks being pregnant isn’t that hard so you decide to prove him wrong.

notes: hey babe! I hope you don’t mind but I decided to do this for bog instead of Simon, since I could envision this happening with him more🫶🏼. I loved the video Faith did with Ethan that's similar to this so when I got this request I was quite excited to write it. I hope you enjoy💕

Liked by faithloisak and 409,163 others

y/username: when he says being pregnant isn't that hard... new video out now🍉🫃🏼

Tagged: @wroetoshaw

-comments-

taliamar: you look stunning

-> y/username: 💗

y/nfanpage21: oh Harry you donut

-> y/username: 😂🤣

behzingagram: hahaahahah

user71487109: the third pic😭

user17048282: this bout to be hilarious

"So... you don't think it's hard being pregnant?" I reiterated Harry's statement. "Uh well- no. I guess the start wasn't great when you had morning sickness n stuff but now you've got so much energy, no symptoms and your bump isn't even that big." He replied. I raised my eyebrows "ok then." A thought popped into my head. This is gonna to be fun.

Two weeks later I'd secretly brought everything I would need for the video. "Haz!" I shouted through our home "can you come here for a sec!" Seconds later I heard loud footsteps quickly coming down the carpeted stairs. "Everything alright?" He asked, once he was in our kitchen/dining room. "Yup, can you come and film a video with me... please?" He sighed then fixed his hair with his hands "Ok. What video?" I smirked "come sit down and I'll tell you." He sat down on the chair next to me and I switched the camera on. "Ok, so do you remember like... two weeks ago when you said that making a whole human wasn't that hard?" I watched as he got slightly nervous. "Uh yes." He replied. "Well I thought that today you could try it." His brows furrowed "Try what?" "Being pregnant."

"I bought this watermelon and some cling film." Harry sighed "oh nelly." I giggled then passed the melon to him. He held it in place while I used the cling film to attach it to him, over his shirt. "Fuckin hell this thing is heavy." He moaned. "Mhm, I bought the biggest one they had." I hummed. Once I was finished I made him put on and take off shoes, sit down, try to get comfortable, then stand up again, walk up and down the stairs and try to 'take a nap'. "I'm so out of breath." Harry stood bent over with both hands on his knees. While I stood filming him. I was finding it absolutely hilarious, since he'd thought it "wasn't that hard."

I sat in bed between Harry's legs, his hands gently resting on my bump. "Ok I admit it. I was definitely wrong, being pregnant is a lot harder than it looks. I'm sorry." He gently rubbed circles on my clothed skin. "Don't be sorry Haz. I got a great video out of it." He laughed.

[rotten-pomegranate]

Day ten : Size difference with yandere uvogin

Tags: @aliceattheart @my-eyelash-flew-off

Warnings: Noncon, bleeding

/|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\

All you wanted was some affection, to be held even if it was by the man that took you away, made you stay by his side

That really is all you wanted, but no of course not, his hands where roaming all over your body while you just laid on his shoulder

“Damn babe, you get hotter by the day” his hands are everywhere on you, you ass, your tits, your waist

“Hmm” you slightly wriggle when he punches you nipple to hard “your hurting me” he laughs, the man who said he’d never hurt you just laughed in your face when you told him he did

“ I want you to ride me” all you have on is a skirt and no underwear as per his request

He lifts you with one arm while shimming off his shorts with the other

His cock is soft but it won’t be for long, you rap both hands around it as soon as your put back down

He was never patient when it came to sex, he didn’t even wait a week to pin you down and force you to have sex with him when he first took you and that was as awful as your sure this will be

He put his hand over your own to give his dick a good squeeze, it was getting hard quickly

“Yeah, get on the floor and use your mouth now” you nod and climb down off his lap

Being between his legs is horrible, he’s massive and he always makes you deep throat him by the end

“Well, get to it” legs spread wider for you even though there was more then enough room

You nod and lean forward to take his cock in your mouth, your lips stretch around him and he hits the back of your throat without being half way in

“Come on” he leaned forward to push you down by the neck, it hurt so bad, you couldn’t breath or see or feel anything other then the pain in your throat

He moves from your neck to your hair and starts moving you up and down on him

You try to pull away but he’s to strong, all you can do is try to breath and desperately scratch and grab at his thighs

He pulls you up suddenly “ok I wanna be in you now”

He yanks you up while your still catching your breath only to get up and push you back onto the hard floor

He gets on top of your and pushes up your skirt around your hips so he can touch your properly

You didn’t wanna be turned in by him but your body couldn’t lie, his fingers went in your partially wet pussy and he started moving then in and out, scissoring slightly

With the size of him compared to the size of you no amount of prep would help you to feel no pain

Even if it was humiliating you do appreciate the prep he is giving you, he often skips it

“Shit babe, look at you, say you don’t want it all you want you fuckin love this”

Shaking your head you start to tear up “tears won’t help you” he lines himself up and you grab his bicep to brace yourself

You wanna scream so load, scream and cry and lose your mind when he pushes in, it hurts, it hurts bad

This man chosen to hurt you in the most intimate way possible just because he thinks your his, and hell you might as well be

He’s practically ripping you open already when he starts to move

Jesus your definitely bleeding, he’s gonna act all sweet tomorrow like he didn’t rape you until you bled

He’s gonna give you water and snacks like he’s the reason you can’t get it all yourself

“Fuuuuuck, I’m cumin baby” you can feel him fill you up with cum, it’s warm and there’s lots of it

He pushes in was leaked out before pulling out for good

Tomorrow things will be better, you’ll be ok tomorrow

“Why don’t we go to the bedroom and you can ride me”

You just had to wait for tomorrow

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

any cowgirl and steve Headcanons? that’s literally his little sister bro

or cowgirl and Evie? 🙏

No pressure

oh my LORD yes absolutely I love these two in every universe EEK hc under the cut!! (also I'm sorry but every time I talk about cowgirl I feel like I should tag her biggest fan @trevination 😭)

- ok I think steve was one of the last in the gang cowgirl directly came out to mostly cause she kinda figured he'd be an asshole about it. soda has this back n forth with her for a while where he'd never out her before she was ready but he KNOWS Steve would support her n then havin Steve every so often ask soda pointed questions (n also be like. a lil hurt that she doesn't really (in his eyes) trust him to tell him. but he ain't gonna twist her arm.) when she DOES tell Steve it goes a lot like

'look I'm a girl n I always have been n I don't wanna hear any fuckin bullshit about it n if you don't like it. well. you can just fuck off I don't care n-'

'ok.'

'ok?'

'yeah. alright. what should I call you?'

'Uh. cowgirl.'

'Oh good. it's just as stupid as the last one. I was worried you were gonna pick somethin cool.'

'Oh FUCK off'

(hes kiddin he hugs her after n. like. she won't admit it but. she's so relieved.)

- steves actually the one to tell evie (with cowgirls permission) n evie is SO delighted. she buys cowgirl a lot of her first makeup n clothes n they go out shoppin together sometimes (they bring Steve n soda n they apply the 5 finger discount to their makeup n all)

- that's his Lil Sister. he won't tell anyone n only soda really knows but he's gotten into. his share of fights about her. he won't let anyone say anythin. however. she's also His Lil Sister. so he'll come home after gettin his shit rocked fightin some assholes talkin bad about her n then call her a stupid lil tag a long when she wants to the drive in with him n soda (they take her n steve gets her popcorn n also calls her a spoiled brat. they're assholes to each other. love em.)

- cause of evie steve is one of the few members of the gang that can braid hair. soda usually helps her but. when he can't it's not unusual for her to bring steve a hair tie n act all put the hell out like she's not askin for help n steve will braid her hair (he always puts his hand out when he's done n goes 'fiver for the hair' n cowgirl always tells him he ain't worth that)

[localicecreambiter]

demi god LU time

the law of hyperfixations says you must combine interests at every given chance

adding a cut here as to not clog feeds!! its a real long post

i wanna hear thoughts too! so dont be afraid to comment. these are my personal opinions and i wanna hear if anyone agrees or disagrees :D (apologies for all the tags btw)

edit to add the stupid doodle

the gods all have favorites, and ironically none of them are their own kids (save for hades: he loves his kid. doesn't make him a good parent, but you know?)

In a more Zelda timeline abiding setting; Originally they weren't all at camp halfblood at the same time, but time shenanigans decided they were to be brought together

Imagine Chiron’s surprise when 7 of his dead campers waltz into camp (this happens EVERY SINGLE TIME they enter camp. Dionysus is completely unfazed, knowing the bs time shit the gods are dealing with atm)

By the time they enter camp in Wild’s Hyrule for the second time he kinda understands (Wind and Sky didnt have a Camp Halfblood, for the record, for obvious reasons)

Alternatively, its some form of modern au where they’re just from different parts of Hyrule (skyloft, downfall, ordonia, windfall peninsula, hyrule town (different from castle town), the list goes on) which would make a lot more sense for this kinda au (the world would’ve just had a LOT of calamities within the span of a few years, some of the heroes knowing about camp and others not so much)

(i think Legend, Wars, Time, Wind (post WW) and Four would’ve known about Camp Halfblood while the others were just kinda on their own until after their quests) meaning over half of them didn’t have prophecies and just went to deal with the issue themselves, possibly meaning on their journey they learned of camp

Ok well, all of them but Wars, who grew up at Camp Halfblood

All Zelda’s are children of Athena, save for Skyward Sword Zelda since she's the reincarnation of Hylia (yeah, im keeping the original Zelda goddesses! What of it?)

At some point fairly early on, a Zelda only had a son, who got together with Athena at some point and boom

Sky: child of Zeus 

self explanatory 

God of the skies? his name is literally Sky

not to mention how fucking powerful he is?

he was the "first" Link; Zeus was technically the first God, it makes sense (this is such a stupid reason)

The skies are his home, Zeus finding someone on Skyloft and “falling in love” with their love of the sky too results in this bad boy right here

The demise fight? Only a zeus kid could harbor lightning like that

A camp counselor in the modern setting (ik typically once you’re 18, you’re no longer a camper really, but shhhh)

Wind: child of Poseidon 

Don't roll your eyes, i've got a reason!!

the 4 wind gods throw a fit anytime he's sent on a quest (they all love him even if they won't admit it)

A world purely ocean and islands? Poseidon would have a fuckin ball

The Great Sea needed a hero, Wind was brought about more for necessity than out of the want to have a child (this leaves a hard disconnect between wind and the gods, knowing his dad didn’t really have him out of love for his mom but because the world needed to be saved)

The irony of Poseidon being the patron of pegasi and horses and Wind not knowing what a horse is will never not be a funny thought

Has more control over the wind than he does the sea (for now) 

he, like Legend, pointedly ignores that he's a demi-god, especially since he comes after the Hero of Time (kinda hard to live up to that, even outside of a demi-god au)

The ocean and winds are his mood ring: you upset him the wind gods are after you

In a modern setting, the same reason applies kinda; a quest under the sea would be virtually impossible for anyone but a child of Poseidon, and hell knows a cyclopes isnt gonna be sent (gotta love those prophecies) 

OR!! OR AND HEAR ME OUT

Wind isnt a demigod

The wind gods still adore him, but he doesn't have the hero’s spirit and i think that’d kinda translate to not being a demigod, yet still being the one who was destined to go on the quest because there just weren't any demigods to do it

Still not set on which id go with

Legend: child of Hades 

Ah yes, child of the big three goes on so many quests trope. Love to see it

he's Apollo's favorite favorite (Warriors is jealous as hell. Thats his dad! Wdym he likes Legend more????) 

Pointedly ignores the fact he's a demigod (at least, he definitely tries to)

Blessed by (and beefing with) so many gods from his quests

probably one of the few heroes who's spoken to their godly parent (trust me, it was out of obligation rather than free will)

Prefers helping out the more minor, underappreciated, and not as needy or bitchy gods (like Hestia, for example)

curses the Olympians constantly, they've learned to ignore him, hes their best questing kid

Sort of a general camp counselor since Hades doesn't really have kids (its technically his last year but hes been there the longest out of everyone)

Managed to block the oracle over iris message

After his trip to the dark world and lorule, the gods go haywire around him, much to his delight (because it means they leave him alone)

Hyrule: child of Hecate 

adopted by Hermes (much to the dismay of all the Hermes children)

I was on the line between Hecate, Apollo, and Hermes; Hyrule’s affinity for magic and the blood curse resulted in Hecate to win 

Very detached from the gods, the help he receives is never outright but more subtle blessings

The gods like to ignore Downfall after Legend died tbh (outside of modern, obviously)

Well, they still ignore Downfall as a city/country. 

Only learned of camp thanks to Legend, otherwise he wouldn’t have had a clue it existed

Wild: child of Athena 

Also adopted by Hermes 

One of the more chaotic children of Athena

The idea of Athena being his godly parent sourced from his resourcefulness and quick battle (or just general) strategies, along with his pre-calamity self being stoic and more on the critical side

Completely forgot he was a demigod and just let loose, Athena is more than slightly perturbed by him and yet so infatuated

Supervises archery at camp

Warriors: child of Apollo 

exemplifies almost 0 traits of his father other than his looks and his affinity for medicine (shit archer, shit musician, can't write poetry)

blessed by Athena during the war since he was struggling so much, she always has a soft spot for the heros since they fight to protect her daughters so hard (aka pity blessing) 

Actively beefing with Ares 

Aphrodite likes to keep an eye on him, mostly for entertainment (she woulda eaten the whole Cia debacle UP)

Very notorious in camp considering he was a war captain at the ripe age of 17; once learning of the whole Camp Jupiter has apartments and college for half bloods insisted and led a project at CHB to get something similar built (which is where he, Sky and Twilight stay after turning 18)

Twilight: child of Demeter

His love for ranch animals and caring for his farm lead me to this decision

Also the whole wolf thing, that also counts

Appalled by the fact Wind doesn't know what a horse is considering he's literally the son of Poseidon (jealous the kid can talk to Epona and he can't)

After his journey to the twilight, the gods kinda flicker between Greek and Roman around him so they tend to avoid him like Legend

blessed/cursed by Lupa, hence the wolf thing

Teaches foraging lessons at camp

Four: child of Hephaestus

He's the smithy, I couldn’t not say he's a Hephaestus kid

received a lot less help from the gods since he was one of the first 

started advocating that heros receive help from the divine after LU concludes so those after him have a fighting chance (not in the modern setting)

I havent played many of his games, but the kinstones sound like a thing Hephaestus would scatter across the earth as scrap from his creations

Not one of the fire wielders (the only one that can wield fire is Red when split, mostly because of the elemental bs in minish cap)

After drawing the Four Sword, Janus (despite being roman (i like to think the four sword would be a roman artifact, it just feels right)) was suddenly pretty interested and bestowed what wisdom he had for the demi-god

Vulcan, Neptune, Aeolus, and Ceres all came together to forge the elemental stones; the Minish were still the ones to bestow the sword to Hylian people

The gods tend to avoid him too, for the same reason they avoid Twilight and Legend (dark world shenanigans and the Four Sword)

He loves the damn forge at CHB, and was ecstatic seeing the one at Camp Jupiter

He was asked by Chiron if he would be interested in running a forge class for young demigods (be it his siblings or anyone interested) but sadly declined 

Has that air of responsibility to him, being a seasoned quester (and while his 3 doesn't stand to Legend’s 6, its still pretty sizable) hes looked up to by the younger campers

Time: child of Demeter Kronos? 

The Kokiri were so Demeter core dont even tell me they werent

I guess they’d kinda act like nymphs and dryads in a sense??

His abilities use to relate to his mother until the events of his first quest: the Ocarina of Time was designed to slowly corrupt the user, being a creation of Kronos’

However, it wasn’t really designed with a demigod in mind sooo…

Also self explanatory, the titan of time? Duh… huh?? what do you mean he was taken over?? What do you mean he was a child of Demeter?? No he wasnt lol that Neverrr happened

the reason he's the only “child” of a titan is mainly because of the fierce deity mask literally making him god-like, meaning he has a lot more power harbored in him sooo (the second he dawned that mask he discarded his old identity for that of a titan’s child, since it was also cursed object)

Don’t ask how he came to being Kronos’ kin, no one knows, not even he does (I do) (no, it does not imply a Hylian wandered into Tarturus and got out alive to have the baby)

Avoids interacting with the gods at all costs, he's weary of them as they are of him (even if he saved the world twice)

Extras :)

Ravio: child of Pluto 

blessed by Minerva for his natural quick witted nature and clever war strategies, if her own daughter can't succeed she might as well make sure ONE does

can tell if a rupee is real or not by glance alone

Sheerow scares the fuck out of the gods, which in turn means Ravio puts them on edge, a thing very few can achieve

the gods never gave him much thought until the events of albw, to which he suddenly gained like four pair of godly eyes on him

can and will plan one of the worlds most successful heists, refuses to participate 

also beefing with Ares (not Mars, Ares)

Based on my personal HC that Ravio’s some sort of artificer (be it replicating magic dungeon items or just flat out creating new ones) i think Vulcan has his eyes on him too

Hilda: child of Minerva 

by far the strangest child Minerva ever birthed

exemplifies the traits of a hero rather than a ruler

a little jealous her mother likes Ravio more than her

gods be damned, she's not going to let them neglect her kingdom anymore 

a force of fucking nature that single handedly forced a meeting with the gods and somehow forced them to agree to start restoring Lorule (she got the idea from Legend, who has done this multiple times for multiple different reasons)

[palant1r]

I feel like you're a good person and smart, so here is a question for you. A fanfic site is bound to be popular with kids. Say a child is being abused, and they go to AO3 and all they see is fics romanticizing their abuse/incestual abuse/ etc. It'll tell them it's erotic and enjoyable and A-OK. If they were to read a fic that portrayed it as a bad thing though, then they can see that their abuse is bad. I know it's unrealistic to ban all fics that portray it as a good thing [1/2]

This ask is full of so many wild ass logical leaps and baffling conclusions that I debated not answering it at all, but you've caught me in a good mood with a lot of time on my hands, so.

First of all: methodological concerns. "They did a poll a while back" who the hell is They? Is this a tumblr poll? Why are we assigning any significance to whether or not half of the users who happened to see a tumblr poll that was likely produced by someone who shared their biases THOUGHT that SOMEONE THEY KNEW had seen pedophilia and incest normalized by fic? That's such an ass backwards thing to base any position on.

You want to save the kids. Sure. Admirable goal. But the premise of your proposal here is based entirely on conjecture and the results of some poll that They did. Also, hey, most underage/incest content on ao3 is WELL TAGGED. Meaning that, when someone clicks on it and reads it, even IF the actual subject matter is "romanticized" there is literally a heading for the reader saying "THIS WORK DEPICTS [THING], WHICH IS BAD"

Say a child is abused, and they read Lolita. They make the same mistake as many, many readers and adaptation makers of Lolita, and they think it's a love story, and that makes their abuse "erotic and enjoyable and A-OK."

...Where do we go from here? Do we now decide that, because Lolita is a complex work with multiple layers and a narrator that deliberately uses purple prose and invokes classical literature to hide his own monstrousness, it needs to be banned?

Why should it be the responsibility of art to impart a beneficial personal and social message not just to its target audience, but to literally anyone who might potentially come across it? Why should the writers of a genre overwhelmingly tagged as Explicit, meaning that people have to affirm that they're over 18 before reading it, on a site you have to be 13+ to use, bear the responsibility of Educating the Nation's Youth on what is Right and Proper?

Your rhetoric is familiar. Very familiar. I got fuckin steeped in it over the last summer when I was reporting on anti-trans legislation, wading through Heritage Foundation summit transcripts and hundreds of pages of bills. Hell, I saw the very phrase "normalizes pedophilia" show up in a bill explicitly targeted at banning queer books from schools. The idea that the very existence of material that is "too erotic" poses an existential threat to children, and that any censorship of art is justified if it Saves the Children, is a deeply conservative one.

A personal story: when I was young, I read The Dragonriders of Pern. This was before I'd had any education on sex ed or consent. There's a rape scene in that series. It's very romanticized. Something about it felt off to me, but it was the only sex scene I'd ever read. I just thought that was what sex was like.

About a year later, I read a Stucky fic with a rape scene. The scene was framed as, if not romantic, at least sexualized in a way that played up the danger and angst of the scene, and it was between the endgame couple. This was, I'd wager, something that you'd want banned. In the beginning chapter note, the author called it what it was: rape.

Two rape scenes, both sexualized, both between an endgame couple we were supposed to root for, only separated by their framing. One taught me a bad lesson. One made me realize that what I had read in that book was, in fact, not consensual sex.

My parents, unbeknownst to me, were going through my search history. They sat me down and said they didn't want me reading erotica, not knowing I already had been in published books. If they had their way — if they'd judged things by YOUR standards — I never would have read those explicit fics. Instead, who knows how much longer I would have gone thinking a man forcing himself on a woman was romantic? Ignorance didn't teach me anything. Experience did.

And, IDK. I think back on news stories I've heard of abused children finding their experiences in books about sex and consent, and seeing themselves in them. Being able to point out what was done to them, because they had a point of reference.

So, no, I don't think that banning every fic that "portrays abuse as good" would be remotely desirable even if it were logistically feasible. And I think you need to move past the idea that art only has the right to exist if it's good for children, saving the children is a goal to which all other ideals should be blindly subservient, and if someone says that something "harms kids" that means you need to uncritically take up arms. I say this without hyperbole: that's the kind of thinking that gets people into QAnon.

[wisteria-cherry]

forty days and forty nights (day twenty-eight!)

(welcome back from the hiatus :) i got a lot done!)

you were bored.

nothing had happened the entire shift, with the exception of one guy dressed head-to-toe on black looking through the window of the cafe for forty minutes straight. you went out to ask him what he was doing, but he left before you could. you figured it was mia’s boyfriend. mia was your american coworker who would not stop talking about her boyfriend, but you thought he sounded kind of weird. of course, you weren’t one to judge now, because you had a crush on the number one hero, who was famously abrasive and, frankly, bitchy. you had yet to find a way to argue that there was more to him that didn’t make you sound like a lovesick teenager with a celebrity crush. you might as well have been. so, when katsuki finally came in, you were very relieved.

“thank god.” you exhale.

“what, you excited to see me or some shit?” katsuki snorted. “loser.”

“oh! no, no, it’s just that—“ you pause at your wording. “i didn’t mean that i’m not excited to see you, it’s just— i mean i’m not excited excited! just regular excited, because—“ you decide to stop before you dug your grave any deeper.

“sorry.” you take a breath. “medium black coffee?”

“yeah.”

“okay. i’m sorry.”

“you already apologized, dumbass.”

“ok. sorry.”

“quit that.”

“ok.”

you were quiet as you gave katsuki his coffee. he frowned as you did.

“the hell’s up with you?” katsuki asked bluntly.

“what?” you blink, startled by the sudden question.

“you heard me.” katsuki glared. “you’ve been acting awkward as hell. it’s weird. so what’s with you?”

“wh..” you stammer. “nothing. nothing’s with me.”

“that’s a damn lie.” katsuki hissed, red eyes boring into yours. “don’t fuckin’ lie to me.” you falter under his glare. he seemed genuinely pissed. you sigh.

“i’m sorry. i’ve just been— figuring some stuff out.” you say, trying to be careful with your words. katsuki’s annoyingly perfect brow furrowed. he looked like there was something he wanted to say, but he didn’t say it. “i’m sorry. i’m not trying to be awkward.”

“quit apologizin’.” katsuki grumbled. “‘s stupid.”

“i’d say sorry, but..” you raise an eyebrow.

“whatever.” he tched. “just shut up.”

“okay.”

“… and don’t apologize for going through shit. that’s fuckin’ stupid too.” katsuki looked away, but you looked right at him, startled.

“was that— was that comfort?” you ask slowly, the corners of your lips threatening to twitch into a smile.

“shut up!” katsuki barked. “like hell it was!”

“thanks, katsuki.” you smile. “i appreciate it.” katsuki only scoffed.

“whatever.” he grumbled.

“i’ll try to act normal.” you promise. “i’ll be okay. promise.”

“y’know you’re s’posed to talk to people about shit you’re going through.” he muttered. “i don’t care who it is. but shitty hair’s good with that shit, so is pinky.”

“thank you.” you smile gently. “i appreciate it, katsuki. but for now, how was patrol?”

“fine.”

"did... anything happen?" you ask hesitantly. what if he was mad at you? was it okay to be making small talk like this when he was mad at you? he had a sour expression on his face. of course, he always had a sour expression on his face, so maybe it was because of something different. katsuki shrugged.

“not really. not a single damn villain.” he grumbled.

“you must’ve been bored.” you laugh lightly.

“no shit. but it’s good, i guess.” katsuki drank his coffee. “that there aren’t a lot of villains today.”

“for the civilians, right.” you agree, slightly embarrassed that your first reaction to a lack of villains was boredom rather than gratitude. you sigh.

how were you going to do this?

“that’s a damn lie.”

(feel free to comment + give ur thoughts!)

(welcome back from the hiatus :) to help myself with the workload, i’ve edited the updating schedule. it’s now mondays and thursdays.)

tags: @k0z3me @cherryblossomclarity @jazzafaye5294 @stevenknightmarc @failingstudents-blog

[your-tires-are-too-cold]

questionable government spies but better written and five years late, chapter 3: i’m not one for bullying, but i am one for bullying nepo babies!

yeah it’s been like 10 months. you win some you loose some, ok?

—-

words: didn’t count, at least a few thousand

warnings: lots of swearing, gangs mentions, davey is an asshole

edited: kinda!!!

tags: @jack-kellys @ainti-pretty @boygirlctommy (let me know if you want to be tagged)

ch1 | ch2 | read on ao3

—-

“Jesus fucking christ don’t any of you dipshits know how to fucking merge ?” 

Albert blinked his eyes open blearily and then immediately shut them again. The rising sun reflecting off of what was probably miles of cars and tractor trailers gave him an instant headache. 

“Are we there yet?” Jack asked from the back seat, voice thick with sleep. 

“No we’re not fucking there yet,” Race cursed. “If we were I’d be cursing much fucking more.” 

Albert couldn’t help but smile. It felt so good to be back with Race. “You know I could have driven,” Albert said. 

“Like fucking hell I was going to let you do that,” Race took his eyes off of the road for a brief second to glare at Albert. “First you’re injured-“

“I’ve had worse.” 

Race ignored him. “You look like you haven’t slept in a week-“

“Hitchhiking from Canada is hard work!” 

“And it was one thing on the fucking bumble fuck backroads, but this is fucking 95. People don’t fucking know how to drive here.” Race swerved into the right lane and layed on the horn and flipped off the Jeep that had just cut him off. “See?” 

Unfortunately, Race was correct. Despite the fact that Albert had raided a Walgreens in not only Chicago, but also somewhere in the maze of corn that was Ohio, his shoulder was still fucked and his nose was regrettably getting more and more stuffed. Normally he would down 9 advil with half a bottle of DayQuil and pass out for six hours, but he wanted to be at least mostly conscious when he entered Davey’s office. So he’d been alternating between taking advil and DayQuil every four hours. It was nowhere near as helpful as his usual dose and he felt like absolute shit. The one driving shift he had taken, at midnight through Pennsylvania, had been absolute hell. But Race didn’t need to know that. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive?” Jack asked. “You’ve been going since two and-”

“Jack,” Race interrupted. “Can I ask you a question?” 

Albert smirked. 

“Yes?”

“Have you ever driven into Manhattan at 7:30am?” 

“No.”

“That’s what I fuckin thought.” 

Jack hesitated. “So do you not...want me to drive?” 

“I’d rather fucking retake fucking high school fucking chemistry again than fucking let you get behind the fucking wheel right now.”

Albert tried to hide his laughter unsuccessfully. 

Race took his eyes off of the road for a brief second to side eye him. “Albert Dasilva rush hour traffic is not a laughing matter.” 

“Sorry,” Albert muttered, biting his cheek to keep the rest of his laughter in. 

“But why is it different from rush hour traffic in any other state?” 

“Watch and learn,” Race said. “Albert, badge me.” 

Oh this was going to be good. Albert opened the glovebox and pulled out Race’s FBI badge. In all their years as agents they had wanted to do this but had never had a good enough reason, until now, evidently. 

“Why do we need a badge to get through the toll plaza?” Jack asked. “Are they going to give us a discount or something?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Race scoffed. “We work for the government, not the fucking mafia.” 

Albert snorted. That was one way of putting it. 

As they drove through the toll plaza Albert felt adrenaline begin to course through him, momentarily taking his mind off of his sorry state. This job was so much better with a partner. This was something that he knew, obviously, but he came face to face with it every time he was out on his own for long periods of time. Albert had hitchhiked across his fair share of the country on his own and it was always hell on earth. It made him appreciate moments like this even more, the small moments of insanity in an otherwise, generally frustrating job. He could die at any moment, but at least he had Race by his side and some kind of scheme brewing between them. 

Like right now. 

“Why are you going into the bus lane, Race. We are not on a bus.” 

“Watch and learn, Jackie,” Race smirked as he rolled down his window. The state troopers were already approaching the car.

“Sir this is a bus lane only,” one of them said. “You are going to have to exit.”

Race dramatically flipped open his badge like they do in the shitty cop movies. “Racetrack Higgins,” he said. “I’m with the FBI. Me and my partners are on a time crunch to get into the city.” 

“And what does that have to do with this here bus lane?” The trooper crossed his arms. 

“I’d tell you but you know how it is, FBI, secrets, alla that,” Race waved his hands around vaguely. “In fact, I should make you sign an NDA just for talking to me.”

The trooper was unamused. 

“Look man,” Race said. “This is a life or death situation here. You either let me through or I tell the head of the New York FBI that you, personally, are the reason why I am late, and lemme tell you, that is not going to be good for either of us.”

The trooper considered. Behind Race, buses began to honk impatiently. 

“C’mon man, I’m holding up the line of disgruntled commuters here.” 

“Fine, just this once,” The trooper said, stepping back from the car and waving Race through. 

Race rolled up the window and stepped on the gas. A small, devious smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Oh, what Albert would do to see that smile. 

“Boys,” Race said, pulling into line with the other buses. “We’ve fucking done it.”  

“ Fuck yeah man,” Albert shouted, reaching over to fist bump Race.

“What did we do, exactly?” 

“Bypassed all of the fucking tunnel traffic,” Race said, drumming on the steering wheel. “It's an absolute game changer.”

“But you said it was a life or death situation…?”

“Uhh…yeah?” Race looked at Jack through the rear view mirror. “Jacobs is going to fucking kill us if were any more late than we already are.” 

“Why are you guys so afraid of him?” Jack asked. “He’s just another guy working for the same people we do, he’s barely got more clearance than you do.” 

Albert smirked as Race made eye contact with Jack in the rear view mirror. 

“Let’s revisit that thought when we’re done with the meeting, capisce?” 

And an hour later, when they were all finally sat in Jacobs’s office, Jack really did look like he was rethinking that comment. Albert didn’t blame him. 

“You’re late,” Jacobs said, slamming the door shut behind him. 

“My apologies,” Race said. “One of us was dead less than twenty four hours ago.” 

“What, you think crime stops when people die?” Jacobs sat down behind his desk. 

Race opened his mouth to respond but Jacobs fixed him with a glare. 

“I want to keep this brief,” Jacobs said. 

Finally, something they could all agree upon. 

“I don’t want you here,” Jacobs said. 

Race snorted. Albert choked down a laugh. Jack looked confused. 

“Glad we’re on the same page,” Race muttered under his breath. 

Jacobs ignored him. 

“The only reason you are allowed back here is because we need your help.” It looked like it pained Jacobs to say that. 

“Could I get that in writing?” Race asked. 

Albert elbowed him. 

Jacobs glared harder. “I can still fire you.” 

“You just said you needed my help.” 

“Race,” Albert whispered, bumping his leg against Race’s. 

Jacobs watched the two of them with a bemused expression before continuing. 

“A man named Sean Conlon turned himself in this morning. He’s a member of The Anonymous, a gang we have been trying to take down for years.” 

“What does this have to do with us?” Albert asked. He was familiar with the name. He didn’t know much, but he knew they were dangerous. He thought that Finch might have mentioned them before. 

“It doesn’t have anything to do with you,” Jacobs said. “It has to do with him.” He pointed at Race. 

“Me?” Race raised his eyebrows. 

Albert did not like where this was going. 

“He said he will only talk to you,” Jacobs said. 

“How does he know who I am?” Race asked. 

Albert was wondering the same thing. He and Race had fucked right out of New York as soon as they could. It didn’t make sense why a gang member would be on a first name basis with him. 

“I don’t know, and I also don’t care,” Jacobs said in true Jacobs fashion. “I want to take these fuckers down. So the case is now yours. Don’t fuck it up.” He slid a fat case file across the table. 

Albert glared at it like it would bite him. 

“It’s going to be a few weeks before I’m able to do field work again,” he said, gesturing to his arm that was still in the sling. “So I am not sure when we will be able to-“

“Oh you’re not doing anything, Dasilva,” Jacobs said, his smile sickeningly sweet. “You and Kelly, was it? Are on behind the scenes work exclusively. Higgins will be in the field.” 

Albert felt his heart drop down to his feet. 

“Sir-“ he said, trying not to let his voice shake. “I don’t think that’s-“

“I don’t care what you think,” Jacobs said. “This is the first solid lead we have had on this case in years. Higgins is going to be in the field and that’s final. Now for your assignments…”

He started rattling off addresses and places and Albert tuned it out. He could blame it on the pain or the cold he was definitely catching when Race asked him about it later. Race and him were a packaged deal. Together or bust. Usually it was Albert in the field, Race on backup. Not because Race couldn’t handle himself. But because it hurt Albert too much to see Race get hurt. He had seen enough of that when they were kids. He could keep Race safe now. That was why it was always him throwing his life on the line, jumping in front of bullets and off bridges and exploding things and detonating things and doing whatever he needed to do to make sure that Race could go to bed in one piece at night. And Jacobs wanted to throw him straight into the fire now? In New York? He was worst than a jerk he was a fucking-

“Dasilva!”

Albert snapped out of his thoughts. 

“Hm?” 

“Pay some attention. I said you’re working at the Starbucks in Times Square and-“ 

“No the fuck I’m not,” Albert said, surprising himself. 

“I beg your pardon?” Jacobs looked like he was considering stabbing Albert with the pen he was holding in his hand. 

“No I’m not,” Albert repeated. “If you want me on this case, I’m working at 99c pizza. That’s my one condition.” 

Jacobs considered. He knew Race and Albert were a packaged deal. They already had been. 

“Fine.” Jacobs said. “But I’m not making any other exceptions for you two.” 

Albert nodded. His arm was hurting again. He didn’t realize how tense he was. He needed to go lay down. He needed this meeting to be over. He needed to go curl up next to Race and maybe that would wash out the numbness. 

It was far too long before Race was tapping his arm and offering him his hand. He just managed a curt nod to Jacobs as he followed Race blindly out the door. 

“He was…interesting,” Jack said as soon as the elevator doors closed. 

“Told you,” Race said, though it lacked his usual snap. 

“Still can’t believe the New York FBI headquarters are in the fucking H&M building,” Jack said, mostly to himself. 

Albert grunted in agreement. It truly was the stupidest thing about this place. Who the hell had had the bright idea to put the damn FBI headquarters in Times fucking Square of all places? 

Just thinking about the nightmare of this building and the sensory overload that was down on the street below them that he was going to have to walk through in a few minutes made his head hurt. He let his eyes fall closed. 

Race’s hand was immediately on his uninjured shoulder. 

“Do you know where you’re going, Jack?” Race asked. 

Jack must have nodded because no one said anything else. 

All too soon, the elevator dinged open and Albert was forced to open his eyes as they were deposited in the Times Square H&M stockroom. 

“Stay close,” Race whispered. 

Albert didn’t need to be told twice. 

He let Race steer him through the throngs of people, letting his guard drop for the first time in over a week. He knew he should be on alert, but it was Race. Race would never let anything happen to him. 

“We just have to head to the van real quick,” Race whispered in his ear. 

Race could have led him anywhere and he wouldn’t have cared. 

He waited, leaning against the van as Race grabbed their go bags out of the back. He heard Race say goodbye to Jack, he must be staying somewhere different than them. Albert tried to take his bag from Race, but Race just brushed his hand away. 

“Not tonight, Albie,” he laughed lightly, as if this was a normal situation. Well, Albert guessed it sort of was. How awful was that. 

Race slid his free hand back into Albert’s and suddenly they were back on the street, back in Times Square and all the lights were blinding him, making his head hurt worse. He shut his eyes. Race would lead him home. He always did. 

—-

sincerely hope it’s been worth the wait lol. let me know what you think!!!

[papermint-airplane]

tag game

Thank you for the tag @bastardtrait hehehehehe

last song I listened to: Zombie by Everglow. I've been listening to it on repeat since it came out. It's so good omg. Like, I'm famously scared of zombies even though they don't exist but this song is amazing and the zombie screeches really push it up to 11/10 for me. 🧟‍♀️🧠 (Strobe warning for the music video)

favourite place: My bed lol. Also Sunset Valley. Nobody ever said it had to be a real place.

favourite book(s): The Time Machine by H.G. Wells. If you've only ever seen the movies (the decent one from 1960 or the absolute abomination slap in the face piece of shit from 2002 that didn't even fuckin try to follow the original story what even the hell was th--I'm fine, I'm ok) you're doing yourself a disservice. The book is a masterpiece. Three words: cannibalistic mole people.

currently reading: I'm not much of a reader these days because depression and anxiety killed my attention span unfortunately. 🙃 That being said, I've been reading a lot of smut on Ao3 recently. It's the same as amateur horror to me -- when it's good, it's great and when it's bad, it's better. 🤭

favourite tv show: Lots but right now, I'm thinking about rewatching Leverage for the 80th time. Great show especially if you enjoy heist comedies and schadenfreude at the expense of corrupt billionaires. 😈

favorite food: Rice. Not kidding. Any way you prepare it. White rice, black rice, brown rice, jasmine rice, basmati, just any rice at all. You can do almost anything to rice and it tastes amazing.

Hmmmmmmmm let's see who to tag...as always, ignore me if you've done this/don't want to do it. I'mma just throw some names out there. @happy-lemon, @coreene-simblr, @anamoon63, @bool-prop, @faeriefrolic, @thebramblewood, @kwimii999, @rebelangelsims, @simmreaper

[cool-person-yey]

Hey folks, so I was a bit bored and thought I'd be cool to take some notes of my thoughts while I was watching the first episode of tmagp

Most of them are nonsense but that's the way I think so

obviously, there will be spoilers for the new tmagp episode ( I'm tagging it tmagp spoilers ofc) so I'd you didn't watch it, go watch it now cmon man

welp, here they are

TMAGP SHOW NOTES!!!11!;1

• Oh dang 44 minutes ???

• ohhhh ominous music :)))

• HI ALEX

• HOLY SHITTT

• RUSTY QUILL PRESENTS THE MAGNUS PROTOCOL LETS FUCKIN GO

•* printer not functioning noises*

• not even 5 minutes in and I'm already recognizing some voices

• Alice <<<333

•BONES ARE A BIG LIE MADE BY MILK TO KEEP YOU BUYING IT that's what I've saying

• I also function on coffee and spite. and social media drama. as a treat.

• sorry mate you deserve to be booed

• " or they finally kill me " oh boy

• ooooohhhh Gwen!!!!

• " I'm your cool sister, Gwen's your uncool sister, Lena's the emotionally distant mother, Teddy is the uncle that just got another job and Collin's the grumpy IT manager" just. this. idk. just

•Alice is funny and I'll die on this hill thank you

• not the nepotism

• the spooky tape recorders already started or is teddy just forgetful??? hmmmm

• mold you like clay

• Alice is my favorite character actually

• Windows 95? oh wait no

• "what does it do?" "crashes mostly"

• " is that legal?" " probably. We do work for the government. sorta"

• finally a filing system that's a least a bit understandable(???)

• " The coolest person *left* in London" the hell you did to the rest of them Alice? 🤨

•wait what

• smashing it with a hammer would fix a lot of problems. supernatural or not.

• Collin is a mood

•Norris, Chester and Augustus huh

• WAIT WHAT

• NEVER HEARING WHO

• WHAT

• CEMETERY???

• THE HELL

• ARTHUR!!!!

• took him away from you??? this is concerning

• oh no,,,,,

• Darla?

• it spoke! using another person's voice— oh no

• discolored skin? mismatched features? oh no

• " some of him:)))" oh no

• shit

• being afraid of someone ( or some parts) of someone you loved. we're starting well

• Yeah there are worse ones buddy

• oh cmon it ain't that bad just put the goddamn word in there

• "you traitor" love me a dramatic queen///

• OHHH SHE'S GOING INTO THE DIRECTOR'S OFFICE ( the equivalent of it in a office job I suppose)

• ohh performance review okay

• look kids, sometimes you gotta deliver a work that's just okay instead of ABSOLUTELY perfect.

• so Gwen's the overachiever, got it.

• she's saying that as if Alice hasn't been shitting on everyone there already lmao

• oh we wish it was that easy

• oh the deja vu

• " what do you actually want" " your job" damn she's bolder than I thought lmao

• I wish I could talk back to people like that

• damn Collin's pissed

• Alice being a menace we love to see it

• " I'm a vegetarian" deadpan

• top 10 awkward conversations

• Collin is the most relatable of them all

• " a bit bleak" is an understatement

• clack clack clack

• you really need to know bro's backstory on his first day?

• is there a bet going on on who has the worst awful backstory to explain being there. that'd be funny I think

• buddy that's the worst place to try getting back to your feet but ok

• MAGNUS INSTITUTE RUINS LETS GO

•" what's the deal with the Magnus Institute" well. see. there's a lot of deals.

• alright? just a semi-normal conversation as of now

• nope

• yea the institute does that to ya

• " a cool vibe " yeah buddy

• "offices like little cells" oh you'd be surprised

• ARCHIVE HE SAID ARCHIVE!!!!!

• oh no the symbols

• strange stains mmnn

• an,,,,, empty box?

• photographic distortion. oh boy. oh boy.

• yea guys don't steal stuff from spooky sightseeing places especially if they could be yknow. cursed.

• are we going to be listening to ppl fighting on the internet rn or

• IMAGE REMOVED??? STAY ABOVE GROUND??? OH NO

• EYES????

• GORE???? OH BOY,,,,

• and the thread was locked. well damn.

• a blast from the past huh

• " is a bad name" " so is Gwendolyn"

• hmm static

• phone

• "you get a job and I got a victim"

• that seems like a reasonable theory tbh

• cleaning toilets actually helps people

• Sam noodle arms confirmed

• " to new beginnings" " with old friends" * clank*

• oh great more little noises

• more noises

• OHHH

• find who???? WHO????

• oh you got to be kidding me

• more ominous music hmmmm

• The Magnus Protocol is a podcast FUCK YEAH IT SURE IS!

Phew, that was a lot. thank you if you read all of this lmao

edit: fixed some misspellings, if there any left please do warn me! my heading's not the best and auto-correct is a bitch (especially if you use two languages lmao)

[devondespresso]

Wip Whatever-day-it-is-idk-man

tagged by @stobinesque @eriquin and @blushweddinggowns ! 💃🪩🕺 Thank you guys so much my brains exploding with happy chemicals from you guys

Rules

ok so i haven't done wip wednesdays/weekends in a bit because i wasn't sure how I wanted to do the wip options since i only have one wip i keep going back and editing instead of writing whats next. SO i figured I'll make a little version where you guys make me to put the gists of things down just to have something to work with and stop just editing my old shit

In a poll I have a handful of different scene ideas I know will happen relatively soon in my fic We'll Be Alright (The Steve Henderson Au)

You guys can vote for one in the poll and I'll share a snippet from my most recently added scene (actually new stuff and not me editing my old stuff!! wahoo!!)

each vote will be 1 paragraph (so like could be a chunk of text could be a dialogue line) i'll spend putting that idea into words and each ask will be 3 paragraphs plus a little snippet from what I got down (much shorter than my normal, sorry guys i've belatedly realized i've shared a lot more than i thought of my earlier chapters lol

Snippet

Since all these are kinda serious plot moments I figured I'd share a moment of silliness

Steve stood there for a few seconds, water running and holding a tortoise in someone else’s bathroom. 

And to think, this isn't even the weirdest thing to happen in the past few days.

"Back." Dustin announced, running back in with a thermometer he stuck right under the water.

"Why the thermometer?"

"He's ectothermic so he needs a very specific temperature range."

Steve nodded, just going with it.

"You should call him Yortoise."

"Yortoise?"

"Yeah, Yurtle is 'turtle' with a 'Y' so since he's a tortoise… Yortoise."

"He's named after the book though." he said, closing the sink drain and letting water fill the bottom. 

"He won't mind, he can't read."

Dustin burst out in a laugh.

"I'll just stick with Yurtle."

"Can I still call him Yortoise?"

"Sure, it'll be your special nickname for him."

"Hell yeah"

tagging @marvel-ous-m @wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart @scoopertroopers @spicysix @thegoblinboy and anyone else that wants to join! (no pressure💕)