#omgcp headcanon

[chyeahnursey]

Nursey makes a playlist for Dex but it’s just Maine by Noah Kahan like, 20 times, with one Portland, Maine by Donovan Woods thrown in for kicks.

[zimmerdouche]

my suggestion: the freshmen after hops, louis and bully are called “ribbits”

[baselessomgcpheadcanons]

Johnathan Hopper, being from the Chicago/Evanston area, is a major Fall Out Boy fan.

[manasaysay]

Another dumb Check Please headcanon

After Bitty's spent a good five seasons in the NHL, a reporter gets the nerve to ask George (who's been promoted to GM by now) if she's ever considered acquiring Eric Bittle.

George: "He's a great player and he's proven that he can fit in a variety of systems. Any team would be lucky to have him."

The reporter follows up: what's prevented that from happening? Falcs fans have been clamoring for Bittle to be on the team for years. Videos of "hashtag HockeyHusbands" go viral every summer. Even novices could tell that the line chemistry would be insane. Is it salary? Or is it...an HR issue?

George simply replies,

"No, it's just our nutritionist would quit."

And then ends the interview with no clarification.

[chyeahnursey]

Nursey definitely made sure Dex saw this

BIG LOBSTER NEWS apparently an orange lobster at the university of New England had babies and half of them are orange and half are normal

So the answer is yes. Weirdly colored lobsters do have weirdly colored babies.

[doggernaut]

Ask game: Bitty and 37

From the head canon prompt list.

37. Vengeance

Bitty doesn't have a vengeful bone in his body. He likes to think of himself as kind, compassionate, a real delight. Oh sure, he can be a little salty when the situation warrants it (especially when he has a couple of margaritas in him), but he's never hated anybody enough to wish ill upon them.

Until pretty, perfect Britt Hewson sashays into Maple Community School from who-knows-where (okay, fine, it's San Diego) and joins the annual school auction committee. Bitty paid his dues taking on less desirable tasks like volunteer coordinator and procurement chair before the committee trusted him enough to turn the social media accounts over to him. A job he excelled in until Annie Hoffman's youngest graduated three years ago and he took over her role as auction chair. Now this woman shows up with her perfect twins and handsome sports anchor husband (though not, Bitty notes, as handsome as his own husband) and expects to be given a primo assignment as chair of the dessert auction committee? Before she's even paid her dues as volunteer coordinator? Oh, honey. That's just not how things are done around here.

"Maybe try playing nice?" Jack gently suggests when Bitty complains about her suggestion that they replace the live dessert auction with a silent auction.

And fine, Jack has a point. Not just because Bitty's planning to run for PTA president next year but because Britt's husband, the sports anchor, keeps harping on Jack like it's his full-time job. During last night's post-game wrap-up he accused Jack of dragging the team down with him, and almost gleefully suggested the Falconers would be better served by taking Jack off the starting line. Jack's usually good at ignoring all the extraneous noise, but he has been in a bit of a scoring slump in the run-up to the playoffs and Bitty can tell it's getting to him. Bad Bob is already fighting back in the comments section of Anchor Husband's Instagram posts, which is very on-brand for Bob but probably not helping Jack's cause. It's probably best if Bitty doesn't do anything that might add fuel to the fire.

So Bitty grumbles about it, but he puts Britt's suggestion to a vote at the next auction committee meeting and is smug when everybody agrees it should remain a live auction.

Which ends up biting Bitty in the ass when Britt's mile-high triple chocolate cake ends up going for a record amount. Everybody sees Rob Duncan and Simone Lee attempt to bankrupt each other over that cake. As the previous record holder with his highly-sought-after blackberry lavender pie (which only brings in a paltry $135, the lowest any of Bitty's desserts has ever gone for), Bitty cannot let this stand.

Britt Hewson is going down.

[ronandhermy]

-- Milk Fed by Melissa Broder

[parvuls]

my favorite headcanon: the only season in jack's whole entire career where he isn't 110% focused on getting to and winning the cup is the one leading up to their wedding. bitty and he did plan around the playoffs, and are getting married later in the summer, but still - for the first time ever, some part of jack thinks it won't be so bad if the falcs get eliminated and he has more time to participate in the wedding preparations with bitty.

so of course, that is exactly the season the falcs win the cup again. bitty can't decide if he's more proud/overjoyed or angry about it.

[labelleizzy]

Surely it can't be three years since Check, Please! Completed its story arc...

Some adverts on FB today were so entirely Check, Please that I have to share my brand new shiny headcanons with y'all.

Shitty Knight as we all know is a fan of wordplay and horrible puns. I feel like he bought this (image: No Whisk, No Reward) for Mr. Eric Bittle as the first of many baking-pun related garments over the Samwell years.

Shitty buys this one (image: Majestically Awkward with a contorted pink flamingo)!for Nursey, to chirp him. Nursey wears it unironically, emphasis on the MAJESTICALLY. Dex and Chowder both shake their heads and smile whenever Nursey wears it.

Nursey gets Dex this one (image: Narwhals don't get mad, they get even, with a smiling narwhal saying "hi!", spearing a fisherman with a harpoon, through the chest), and actually? When Dex sees it in his drawer, he smiles a little and pets it with his fingertips, and can let go of some of his annoyance at whatever Nursey's bullshit is today.

Bitty buys this shirt for Jack after the first all-Haus Star Wars marathon. (Image: the Death Star with the cursive font caption, "ceci n'est pas une lune" and the translation below in the ad copy, This Is Not A Moon.

It's one of the very first time Bitty heard Jack ugly snortlaugh, and it's the first non Samwell men's hockey, non-athletic shirt to make it into regular rotation in Jack's wardrobe.

Lardo buys this shirt for Bitty (text: "who run the world? Squirrels" image: a black squirrel outline on a grey heather shirt with acorn accents) both for the Beyonce reference and for the surrealism, because everyone needs more surrealism, says Lardo. Bitty laughs and hugs the shirt AND Lardo.

This shirt is a gift from Shitty to Jack as a tribute says Shitty, with a huge eye roll, to Jack's impeccable dad-rock taste. (Image: a three-circle Venn diagram with "Don't stop" at center, and "Me Now", "Believin'", and "Thinking About Tomorrow" in the outside rings)

Shitty buys (image: Laura Fern from Jurassic Park flanked by velociraptors, text: "dinosaurs eat man, woman inherits the earth") and everyone in the Haus understands it to be a courting gift and acknowledgement of how badass Lardo is. Sometimes Shitty steals it, and it looks like a crop top on him, because he bought it just a little bit large.

Nursey buys Bitty this Synonym roll tee-shirt after n+1 breakfasts and giant pans of hangover breakfast pastries for the frogs. (Image: a laughing cinnamon roll with frosting, on a cocoa brown shirt, surrounded by the words Delicious! Yummy! Scrumptious! Delectable! And the words Synonym roll in all caps below)

Everyone in the Haus pitches in a couple of bucks to buy Shitty the colorful "my favorite color is no pants", because OBVIOUSLY, but it's Jack's lap he sits in to cuddle and say thanks to everyone. (editor's kibitz: evidence indicates that Shitty is a lot more bisexual than I see very often in fandom, COME ON PEOPLE, WRITE AND ART MORE BISEXUAL SHITTY KNIGHT, PLEASE! ahem.)

(T shirt Image: a pie with an irregular red line marking the underside, and the caption: nobody likes a soggy bottom) this shirt just shows up, neatly folded in Bitty's shirt drawer one day. Bitty makes it into an off the shoulder crop top and wears it when he's feeling better especially sassy. Jack blushes just a little bit every time he sees Bitty wear it.

...to be continued...

[transwicky]

Wicky didn't know why he was so bored. He absolutely knew he could be doing homework but he couldn't concentrate on it and he was just so. Bored.

There was also the fact he got distracted on the ice and missed getting that pass.

Jack had chewed him out majorly for that.

He also forgot to do his laundry like. Four days in a row.

Oops.

It was Ransom who asked if he had ADHD.

"uh. What's that?"

Ransom had him talk to the coaches.

Coach Murray was laughing as Coach Hall sighed, but suggested he talk to a doctor or therapist or something.

Well, one of them got him tested and apparently he has ADHD.

And then he was prescribed Adderall.

He finished his homework the same day, did his laundry, and he actually was focused on the game that night.

Holy shit.

Didn't explain Coach Hall hitting his head on the desk that night after the game, though.

(Coach Hall was exactly like Wicky as a teenager and he's crying over having to go through what his own coach did/said he hoped he went through as a coach.)

[manasaysay]

Yes yes AND

I'm thinking that Shitty is the one who comes in with the "radical" new ideas of how a hockey team should behave. But what's the trigger that makes him take on Seniors as an 18 year old freshman?

It's how they treat Jack.

Jack is the best player on the team by far, and is getting harassed and straight up bullied by the upperclassmen. Jack who's not fresh from his overdose, but still trying to regain his footing in a locker room of his peers.

(It's not hazing: hazing serves a specific ritual purpose and after that ends, the hazees are now part of the in-group. This is ongoing and says in a highlighted sign "You will never be one of us".

In fact Jack is canonically NOT hazed! Either through his own choice by planning to be out of town that weekend, or by the upperclassmen not including him.)

Jack puts up with it through August with the attitude of "I just got to get through the next four years and then I can go pro." Maybe he isn't even trying to make it to graduation: play well enough, get signed, leave this awful place behind.

Until Shitty just goes up to him after a brutal practice and says "You don't deserve this." And before Jack can respond, Shitty has already called the leader of that group (probably not the captain, but maybe?) a raging turdmonster. Jack and some others intervene before Shitty gets the shit beaten out of him, but that causes a Line to be drawn.

Culture tends to be driven by a few strong-willed people and everyone else tends to go with the flow. Over the course of the year, Shitty goes on a one-man mission to redirect that flow. Or at least it starts as a one man mission: over time others join him. Carter Marsh, Johnson, the other freshmen. Standing up and saying "we should not treat other people like this". Shitty convinces a bunch of the team to take a WGSS course and instead of being disruptive, they actually sit down and learn.

Maybe it all blows up at a Haus party where Shitty picks a fight (but is backed up) against some LAX bros who are invited but acting like shitheads to some girls that are there. No one knows exactly what happened, but the alliance between the two teams shatters that day and is never fixed (until Whiskey becomes captain, because by that point it's been eight years. Like I said, college culture turns over all the time.)

Whoever is captain that year (im gonna call him Sandy) is tearing his hair out in frustration. What he believes isn't important: he's just trying to keep the team from falling apart. They've made ECAC Playoffs for the first time in his college career, and he can't even enjoy it because his fellow seniors are being dicks to the player who basically dragged them there.

(Jack has no problem playing with people who hate him. His passes connect, he covers for their mistakes, grinds in the corners, all that #teamwork stuff. And if he sometimes wheels the puck in a singlehanded path and scores a goal that gets televised and makes his linemates look slow... no one has to know how sweet that is.)

In the end, realizing that Shitty is getting Dibs and moving into the Haus, Sandy gives his Dibs to Jack in the hopes that Jack will keep Shitty alive.

(There's a few weeks of hinting to Jack about his housing situation next year, he should start thinking about it and taking action.

Finally, Sandy just takes him out to Annie's to spell it out: I need to give you my Dibs so that Cohen and Berger don't kill Shitty next year. But I can't just give them to you, or that will cause upset. So could you just, like, carry my books around for a few weeks?

Also, I'm voting for you for captain but you can't tell anyone.)

So there’s the Samwell Men's Hockey we know and love. The one that's full of chirping and rowdiness... and ultimately the one that embraced baking and voted Bitty captain.

Though what if it wasn't always that way?

We know that part of how Check Please! got started was through Hardy, which sprang of Ngozi's observation of toxic masculinity among hockey players at Yale, a liberal school that coined the phrase "1 in 4". Also some of the most liberal cities have some of the most regressive hockey teams. And in-universe, we know that A) the hockey team was known to be very isolated from the rest of campus, and B) homophobia does crop up now and then in Samwell (the extra with Whiskey and the Chads).

So that does raise an interesting question of what Samwell was like before Bitty came there (including up till Jack, Shitty, and Lardo/Ransom/Holster's arrival). And how that contributed to the wider student body's view of the team.

And in turn, how Bitty’s influence, and his teammates' desire to continue that legacy, would affect SMH down the road.

[zimms]

can we talk about the fact that holster lived in iowa for a bit like what the fuck was that about?

[baselessomgcpheadcanons]

Foxtrot completes an internship at a circus at some point between the start of her junior year and graduation.

[parseisflat]

the nurse-ification of smh (1019 words) by chonkytheslur Chapters: 7/? Fandom: Check Please! (Webcomic) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Samwell Men's Hockey Team, Larissa "Lardo" Duan, Jack Zimmermann, Derek "Nursey" Nurse, William "Dex" Poindexter, Justin "Ransom" Oluransi, Chris "Chowder" Chow, Adam "Holster" Birkholtz, Shitty Knight, Eric "Bitty" Bittle Additional Tags: Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Poetry, couldn't sleep so now this exists Summary: Poetry written by various SMH members. Yes, even Dex.

new poem just dropped

[gothlesbianlardo]

alicia zimmermann wouldn’t call sfx in horror “terrible” or “worse” she would eat that shit up and enjoys playing characters where she gets to wear prosthetics makeup and fake blood

[ohyoufool]

Lamilla AU where Lardo moonlights as a songwriter and Camilla is the resident pop star who's going through a rough patch with her recording company. Wanting to make a new splash into the industry, Camilla tracks down Lardo's online persona in order to start of her new album all the while Lardo watchers her and jack get closer.

Que the hijinks, the mistaken identity, and the moments of uncertainty while your crush sings a song about unrequited love to you and your entire campus

@tingo-tango

I'm like 10 years late to seeing this ask but guess what. I LOVE IT.

God like... Lardo the songwriter writing all these songs and Camilla singing them and the FEELINGS she would get about it. And then she gets Inspired ™ and writes like. This queer pop anthem and sends it to Camilla DRUNK after Shitty forces her hand or something. But then Camilla literally sends her a demo the next morning. Like she woke up and recorded it.

The single goes MEGA viral. Award show time. Camilla goes with Jack, and Lardo is like. Well. Ha. Of course. They're together! Totally! And then she finds Jack MACKING ON THE VOGUE SOCIAL MEDIA GUY (*ahem* bitty *ahem*) IN A HALLWAY. And she's like "Oh my god I have to tell Camilla. No it's going to break her heart. NO I HAVE TO BE HONEST."

So she goes find Camilla and she's trying to pull her away but then they get papped together and Camilla starts POSING LIKE THEY'RE A COUPLE. and introduces her as her songwriter and "muse" to the press. So they get past the red carpet and Lardo grabs Camilla and is like "listen, here's the thing." and Camilla is like. "Well so the thing is that I'm his beard. And also I am gay."