#one banana per solved problem

[the-glorious-evolution-fanart]

Since it's finals week for me i wanted to ask how viktor prepped for finals at the college of techmaturgy and would he pass with flying colors or cram depending on the subject he was studying for

Oh boy, did he cram! Viktor was not one of the exemplary students who diligently did all homework on time, passed every exam with great grades and had their pictures with smug expressions hanged on the walls. He was always hyper-focused on his areas of interest, often spending too much time on hobby projects or taking supplementary classes which left him with not enough time for obligatory ones. College of Techmaturgy is a very particular type of faculty, providing education some would consider too wide for any particular job. This means that Viktor also had mandatory Chemistry class in first year, Common and Astronomy on top of all math, physics, engineering and programming classes. The programme of College of Techmaturgy is notoriously extensive, and only students who are hyper-focused on their role as a student, rather than on the knowledge itself, pass through it without some significant bumps.

There's a saying among the students there, that "nobody truly interested in actually learning something, completes their elementary studies in 4 years".

College of Techmaturgy was a huge part of Viktor's life for 10 years.

[yaut-jaknowit]

Revelations

Pairing: We'ar-ow (Female Yautja) x GN!Yautja (Platonic (for now))

Word Count: 2421

Summary: Either you are crazy or something is mentally wrong, but you feel something… something for We'ar-ow. You need an ear to rant to and spill your guts to before. Someone who can offer a reasonable solution to this issue. Xilomere comes to mind. The old man is more than happy to hear about the situation and push Reader towards We'ar-ow.

Author Note: I'm getting excited about this story. I know it'll have to end but it's getting good up in here! Thank you all for the wonderful and kind comments you leave on each chapter.

Edit: sorry about the grammar mistakes! Should all be fixed!

Masterlist

Ao3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18

It’s quiet in We’ar-ow’s quarters. The Yautja had long left you to fulfill her duties as a monarch. She had offered you the chance to come along and sit with her on the steps of her throne, under her watch and safety. Yet, after the encounter with Dwainet and his posse, you didn’t feel it necessary to endanger your life for a different scenery. It was safer in here, away from everyone, behind at least two locked doors.

This alone time also offered you the time to reformulate your plans of escape. It was no longer an easier life in the hands of We’ar-ow. Dwainet wanted you dead, as much it hurt to say that. It was the truth. He wanted you dead by his hands. The only way you would be completely safe from him was by jettisoning yourself from the ship.

Though, the dangers of the universe still hang over you like a boulder about to drop, everything you experience on this ship wasn’t worth it. Not with death around every corner you turn.

You wanted off this ride before it ended your life short. To be honest, you should���ve left the moment Dwainet renounced his profound love for you. Then, you wouldn’t have be dragged into this battle between the Monarch and your ex-mate. One wants you dead and the other wants you… for what?

That’s something you’ve yet to figure out. Why does she care about you so much?

What Dwainet said about you to her had made sense. If your position and aliveness was threatening her throne, why not get rid of you? You’re the problem. Solving it would ease the tension within her clan.

But no. Here you were, still well alive and living in her quarters. None of made sense.

Hunger gnawed inside of your mind. With a grunt, you stood up from your curled up position on the couch and meandered over to the kitchenette. The small space offered enough for her to store snacks and prepare dinner for the two of you. You plucked some sort of fruit that resembled a spiky banana and peeled it open.

Your back leaned against the counters as you munch away on the interesting fruit. It had a strange citrus yet sweet taste to it. Enough to bring you to finish it off and throw away the peel.

Out of everything, We’ar-ow’s actions have softened you. You had to unwillingly admit that thought. A broken heart makes people act differently afterwards. That had to be why you felt a strange pull towards her. She was the only person on this ship after Dwainet who was being kind to you. That had to be it!

Something in your chest didn’t agree with the thought. You ran your digits through your locks.

It’s not like she wasn’t not attractive in her own alien way. Her structure both bodily and facially weren’t bad per se. She is an alien after all with a totally different facial structure.

In a shorten term, she’s pretty.

Your breath caught in your throat. A curse falling from your dry lips. You liked her. This… these feelings. One of your hands clutched your hair at the roots and slightly pulled on them. How was… but after Dwainet, you swore off any love from this cruel species. A whine sounded in the air. Your brows forged together. You couldn’t believe this.

Worst of all, with this ball already rolling downhill, it’s gained so much momentum you didn’t believe it could be stopped. You truly had to leave. You had to escape before your second chance ended you in a position worse than before.

Dead.

All of this was bottling up inside of you, a volcano ready to burst in every direction. It was a weight it became too great to carry without releasing it. You mindlessly gnawed on the inside of your lip and glanced over at the discarded tablet. Only a very few contacts had been added to the device. All people We’ar-ow trusted closely. One of them came to mind, someone who seemed extremely close to We’ar-ow in a friendly companion. Even to you, he was as friendly as the dominant race could be to outsiders. That was saying something too.

Besides We’ar-ow, he was probably the only other one on this ship you could talk to. You remember in passing, he offered himself to the two of you for any services. An ear to rant to was what you needed for right now. Anything to make it look less like you were a crazed human on a ship full to the brim with aliens.

You sauntered over to the couch and scooped the device from the cushion. This might be a bad idea to invite the Yautja into your safe quarters, but you believed he wouldn’t hurt you. Not if he was close to We’ar-ow.

A few taps brought you to the messaging screen. It took less than a minute to figure out what to type and send it to him. You spun on your heel and plop down on the couch. From there, you were going back to learning the specs of how to pilot a Yautja spacecraft.

It was less than a paragraph read for a response to pop up at the top. Shocked, you clicked on it and felt your lip’s part. He agreed. He was heading over now. You scrambled to your feet and sputtered to yourself, eyes glued to the screen. Stupidly, your gaze snapped over the room as if you had prepare for a guest.

It took a few moments to collect yourself before settling back down on the comfortable cushions. Everything’s fine. You took some deep breaths to cool down your racing heart before drawing your attention to the tablet again. You used it to pass the time until he came knocking at the door.

As you were about to slip off of the couch and open the door, it slid back to reveal the familiar form of Xilomere. His dark moss green scales were an anticipated sight that you welcomed with a short nod and respectfully closed mouth smile.

He strutted into the living space and rounded the other loveseat style chair. His weary old bones cracked while he relaxed into the cushions. One of his legs was thrown over the other. He rests his arms on top of the couch and reclined as much as possible in the stagnant chair. His baby blue eyes were glued to your form swallowed up in the cushions.

“So, what do I owe to have the wonderful pleasure of having a conversation with you?” he teased with an shit-eating grin that consumed his whole face.

You took a lungful of air and quickly pushed it out. “Well, I needed to talk with someone,” you answered and scratched at the back of your bicep.

Xilomere snorted, shoulders jumping with the motion. “I’d gathered as much from your message. But I’m surprised you had called upon little ol’ me and not your Yautja.” His greying tresses shifted while he titled his head to the side.

Your lips were pressed tightly together. “It’s.. about her,” you admitted and dropped your tense shoulders.

The Yautja made an intrigued noise and motioned with his intact arm at you to continue. “Please do tell. Trouble in paradise?” Your face burned with shame.

A shake of your head was quick to deny anything. “No, no. Nothing… nothing like, besides what’s going on. But, I-“ you cut yourself short and peeked to the side, unable to look the Yautja in the eye for too long. He was patient and waited for the story to be told. “Okay, well. I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a complete fool…”

He chuckled and leaned forward, resting his only elbow on a knee. “Just get it out, ooman. I’m not here to judge.” His words had the desired effect on your trembling form.

“Okay, okay. Um, I-I think, no. It’s-fuck!” you spat in frustration then scrambled off of the cushion. “I have a fucking crush on We’ar-ow.” Words screamed for the only other occupant to clearly hear in the room. Your shoulders rapidly moved up and down with each heaving breath. You made a whining noise and collapsed on the couch again.

“It’s shouldn’t be possible. I swore off love because of Dwainet. Your race is cruel and harsh. I learned I didn’t want to be apart of it after he dropped me out of nowhere. And now I have a crush on the leader of this clan. I feel like I’m back in middle school,” you ranted. After the last words left your mouth, you buried your face into your hands with a groan. “I don’t know what to do.”

A silence engulfs the duo. It felt hopeless in this situation. You couldn’t escape this feeling, not until you left this ship. You slept in the same bed as her, not cuddling but enjoying her heat and scent. Fuck, you liked her smell. You liked her touch. You liked her voice. You were smitten. If Xilomere wasn’t here to watch as you broke down internally, you would start bawling out your eyes out or started to destroy something in here.

The couch across from you squeaked at the shifting of weight. You felt a presence in front of you and peeked through your fingers to find Xilomere kneeling in front of you.

“I’ve known We’ar-ow for a long, long time. Since she became a hunter. The only one to survive the hunt.” He reached forwards and used the tip of his claw to tilt your head out of your hands. “I know a lot about her as a hunter but also as a person.”

Confusion morphs its way on your face. Why was he telling you this? This wasn’t comforting at all. “You, my dear ooman, are stupid.” You jerked your head back and sputtered out words. He pressed a finger to your lips to silence you. “Listen. Your species is stupid as a whole, so there’s nothing new there. But, I know you have a brain. Use it.”

It still didn’t click together. He sighed and stood back up to his full height. Shorter than We’ar-ow he still towered over you. He lumbered over to the couch once more and plopped down on it. “Go after her. Don’t let fear control you. It’ll kill you.”

The puzzled expression returned. “’Go after her’?” you repeated then shook your head. “Why in the world would I put myself up for failure? She’ll kill me if I told her I had this stupid little crush on her.”

Xilomere raised a brow at you. “Would she kill you?” he rephrased with one of his mandibles quirking up alongside his brow. You opened your mouth to speak before slamming it shut.

Things were beginning to click together in a terribly slow process. As if the pieces were sunken in tar. Then, you shook your head to dismiss his words. “Of course she would. I’m just her pet.” The words hurt your heart to say but it was the truth. All she saw you as was a pet. She only tolerates your presence for the time before the novelty wears off.

The Yautja snorted again and rolled his head. “You’re making me lose hope here, ooman,” he groaned and shook his massive head. The trinkets attached to his tresses clinked against one another with the motion.

“I don’t know what you want from me. I’m nothing more than just her pet. I’m surprised she hasn’t gotten rid of me for all the trouble my existence alone is causing her.” Xilomere stared long and hard at you, giving you a look that read ‘do you get it yet?’ But you didn’t know what he was trying to refer to without saying it outright.

His shoulders sagged. “I’ve lost all faith in your species because you,” he judged but the glint in his blue eyes told you a different story.

He turned his head to the side so his ear was facing more towards the door. “Well, that’s my cue to leave. It’s been… I won’t say fun since you’re still so blind to the picture. But, nice talk.” He rose from the seat and strolled over to the door.

It opened not only to his presence but reveal the familiar pink form standing in the doorway. Xilomere placed a palm on her shoulder and gave it a shake. “Your ooman is dumb,” he merely stated then moved pass her down the hall. She stood there stunned, peered over her shoulder down at him, then over to you. She shrugged her shoulders then walked into her quarters.

The door slid and locked shut behind her, resealing the room for your safety. She strolled over to you on the couch and plucked you off the cushions. Not a word was uttered to you. We’ar-ow threw you over her shoulder and carried you into her room. A yelp escaped your lips as you scrambled for purchase. The Yautja stopped at the side of her bed and tossed you onto it.

A pout found its way to your face. “Hey! What was that for?!” you asked with a stern voice and glared shortly at her.

Either she wasn’t listening or just didn’t care, she crawled onto the bed with you. It wasn’t terribly late in the day to sleep, let alone for her. We’ar-ow snared an arm around your midsection and tugged you to her torso. You struggled, unsure of what was happening, but a short purr had you going lax.

Then, the Yautja laid down on the comfortable mattress and curled around your form. She was spooning but due to enormous size difference to you, she engulfed you into her body.

Even if you wanted to escape, you knew she wouldn’t release you. Her hold wasn’t tight but firm to let you know there wasn’t an opportunity for an escape. Deep down, you didn’t truly mind. She needed the comfort so you relented and went lax in her arms. We’ar-ow placed her head on top of yours and went still. You knew she wasn’t asleep due to her breathing, but the moment was peaceful.

Part 1 |Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 01x10 - Kentarumon, the Defender / A Clue from the Digi Past

Previously on Digimon Adventure: It was so cold. So unbearably cold. Unbelievably cold. Facing down hypothermia and impossibly low temperatures, Taichi and Yamato were able to solve their problems through judicious application of more snow.

Now we turn our attention to another pair of kids, separated from the others by the fracturing of File Island.

Today's episode opens with Mimi and Koushiro's beds descending into the fractured island shards. In the dub, Izzy offers us some narration to coax us through shots of the beds descending.

Izzy: Tentomon, I would say we're traveling at a very high speed, plummeting toward an unidentified island! And, uh... crash landing is imminent! Tentomon: Try to think of it as if we're just hitting the beach!

XD That one got me. Inappropriate time for dark puns, Tentomon.

Upon landing in the midst of a tropical jungle, Mimi and Palmon discuss where to go from here.

Mimi: Where are we? Palmon: Since we were blown away so suddenly, I can't be sure. But I think this is a jungle. Mimi: Well, even I know that. What will happen to us now? Palmon: I don't know, but we should try looking for someone in the meantime. Mimi: Yeah, you're right! There has to be someone close by.

It's a pretty basic dialogue exchange. We don't know where we are and we're separated from the others; Let's go looking.

A perfect time for the dub to spice things up with some goofs.

Mimi: Oh no, humidity! Palmon: Yeah, some kind of tropical rainforest but not one I'm familiar with. It all happened so fast. Where are we? Mimi: Have you any idea what humidity does to my hair!? It goes all poodle-ey. Not a pretty sight. Palmon: Uhhh, perhaps we ought to look around and see if we can find any of the others. Mimi: Yeah! Let's go! Maybe we can at least find some air conditioning or something.

Unfortunately, per usual, that means playing Mimi off as lacking perspective and not understanding the situation she's in. I like Mimi complaining about the humidity; It's the last line, where she's expressly more concerned with fixing her hair than finding safety or her friends, that bugs me.

Meanwhile, Koushiro finds his way to an interesting ruin. Tentomon notices Koushiro's interest and tries to urge him to move along; Finding their friends should be the priority. But Koushiro tells him no; He thinks if he studies these ruins, he may learn information that could be useful later on. As Koushiro enters the ruins, Tentomon reluctantly follows his Partner.

Meanwhile, Mimi finds a bunch of bananas hanging from a tree! Excited, she asks Palmon to retrieve them - though Palmon struggles with the unfamiliar word "banana", which should probably be Mimi's first warning that this isn't about to go well.

Overjoyed, Mimi exclaims:

Mimi: I haven't had food that actually looks like food in a long time!

That's depressing. We're on Day 6 of File Island and the emergency rations were only going to last 1-2 days after they started feeding the Digimon too, so that checks out.

Dub Mimi has her own plans for the bananas.

Mimi: I was really starved! Now we can pretend we're having banana splits!

I don't think Palmon knows what that is but good on you for keeping positive!

Tragically, when Mimi goes to open the banana, she discovers that there's nothing inside the peel. The whole bunch is nothing but empty peels. Palmon bites one of the peels in half and reports that it's surprisingly good, but Mimi isn't having it. She yells out in frustration and then sulks next to the poop that fell off the tree.

Wait, what?

"Is that hair mousse?" ~Dub Mimi trying very hard to censor the obvious poop on the ground.

The poop, it seems, came from these two lunkheads. Palmon IDs them as Scumon (the yellow one) and Chuumon (the mouse). The dub refers to the former as Sukamon, based on a different romanization of the kanji that forms his name. But you can clearly it pronounced "Scum-mon".

From there, the narrator gives us the rundown on Scumon, but not Tyuumon. He's an Adult-stage Virus-type Digimon. His name, of course, derives from the word "scum".

Narrator: Scumon. He's shaped like a sparkling golden poop. Because he has no talents of his own, the smaller Chuumon acts as his brain.

For her rundown, Dub Palmon avoids the poop conversation but otherwise conveys the same idea.

Palmon: Sukamon and his mouse buddy are always together because they share the same teeny-tiny brain.

She also IDs Sukamon and Chuumon as "Sukamon and Chuumon, also known as the Digi-Losers", so apparently in the dub they have a reputation for being pathetic. Meanwhile, Dub Mimi calls Sukamon a "talking dessert", which is probably the grossest possible way to disguise him being a poop.

Scumon attacks, hopping across tree branches and hurling poops down at Mimi and Palmon. Mimi flees at first, but then she loses her temper and whips around to confront the pair.

Mimi demands to know what this is about, and Scumon explains that she's being robbed. He orders her to turn over all of her belongings. Naturally, Mimi refuses, so the assault renews.

Fleeing from the disgusting onslaught, Mimi tries to take cover behind a tree. The dub adds this line:

Mimi: That's it, I give up! I want to see the camp therapist!

Which is gold. Absolutely. Therapy for Mimi. Therapy for all of these children.

It's there that Scumon seizes his moment, sliding quietly down a tree to sneak up on her.

Scumon grabs the strap of Mimi's purse to take it from her, but his hand touches her Digivice in the process. Light erupts from the Digivice, blanketing Scumon and Chuumon.

The light seems to have done something to Scumon and Chuumon,

Scumon: My heart somehow feels refreshed! Chuumon: Very refreshed! Mimi: Well, we're not refreshed at all! Scumon: I feel like I've turned into a good poop! Chuumon: Good one! Good one! Mimi: (skeptically) I wonder if that's true. Palmon: Let me ask: Have you seen any humans around here? Scumon: Humans? Mimi: (gestures to Mimi) Something that looks like her. Scumon: (considers) Oh! Yes! Mimi: You saw them!? Scumon: It was far off so I can't be sure but I saw something like you and a Tentomon fall in the Ancient Dino Region. Mimi: Really!? If Tentomon was there, that must mean Koushiro-kun is there too! Palmon: But have you really become good Digimon now? Scumon: (dismissive) Yeah right, ahahaha! Palmon: You don't deny it!? Chuumon: At the very least, we feel like being good right now! Palmon: Then take us to the Ancient Dino Region.

Virus-types gonna Virus-type but at least they're feeling helpful. They're going to take us to Tentomon and Koushiro!

Meanwhile, in the dub:

Chuumon: That's better than chewing tin foil! Sukamon: I feel all tingly and refreshed, like a whole new person! Chuumon: Yeah! We're a whole new person! Mimi: Is this one as much of a pain as the last one!? Sukamon: No, really! We'll be nice from now on! Really! Mimi: So you'll leave us alone? Palmon: Wait! First, tell us if you've seen any other humans around here. Sukamon: Any what? Palmon: (gestures to Mimi) Creatures that look like this one! Sukamon: Uhh.... Chuumon: Well, as a matter of fact! Sukamon: Oh, yeah! I forgot! Mimi: Tell me! Sukamon: Well, it wasn't nearly as pretty as you are, of course. But we saw something fall into the old ruins with a Tentomon! Mimi: So when were you planning on telling us!? Next week!? They must have seen Izzy too, Palmon! Palmon: Listen, you two: Can you take us there? It's important that we find him. Sukamon: Sure! Okey-dokey! Palmon: No funny business! Sukamon: Cross our heart. Chuumon: And hope to die! Palmon: Well, of all the absolutely ridiculous things to say.

The bit about being a good poop is removed, of course. But in its place, we have the "chewing tin foil" line and an assertion that Koushiro cannot rival Mimi in prettiness.

Though, between the two endings to this conversation, Scumon and Chuumon responding to "Are you really good Digimon?" with "LOL NO but we're cool right now!" is my favorite.

Scumon and Chuumon lead the way to the Ancient Dino Region. There's. Uh. There's one small problem.

It's on a different shard.

While Mimi and Palmon contemplate how to solve this problem, Scumon and Chuumon reveal their true motives for being so helpful.

Mimi: Do we have to jump to get over there? Palmon: That's really scary. Chuumon: Hey, are you happy we helped you? Mimi: Yeah.... Scumon: Then, as thanks for helping, let's go on a date! (blows kiss) Mimi: YOU MUST BE JOKING!!! Palmon: (Poison Ivy's the other side) LET'S GO!!! GRAB ON!!! (Palmon swings them across to the other shard) Scumon: ...she left. Mimi: (cries) This keeps happening. I hate it. Scumon: (calling across) Let's meet again some time! Mimi: NO WAY!!! (akanbe)

For real, this does keep happening.

The dub version plays it this way:

Mimi: How are we supposed to get over there? Chuumon: You're the one with the big hat; You think of something! A gorgeous girl like you must have a big brain! Mimi: (sarcastic) Thanks a lot. Really. Sukamon: Before you go, maybe you'd give us a big Thank You kiss, huh? (blows kiss) Mimi: OH, PLEASE TELL ME THEY'RE KIDDING!!! Palmon: (Poison Ivy's the other side) CLIMB ABOARD QUICKLY!!! (Palmon swings them across to the other shard) Scumon: (sigh) Maybe we jumped the gun. Mimi: Ugh. Blegh. Just the thought of that kiss is making me queasy. Scumon: (calling across) That's okay! We'll wait 'til you come back! Mimi: Don't hold your breath! (akanbe)

The dub version doesn't hit quite the same intensity, but it still works. Losing the setup of Palmon being afraid to jump across costs it a bit, as we don't have that contrast for the "CLIMB ON LET'S GTFO" punchline. Palmon didn't want to make that jump, but she found her courage fast once this turned gross.

The biggest loss in the dub version is the callback to the Numemon earlier. Mimi has been on File Island for six days and been harassed twice now; She deserves to vent about it.

Meanwhile, Koushiro explores the ruin and discovers one of Devimon's Black Gears moving their shard. He speculates that he can make the shard stop moving if he can disable the Gear.

Koushiro: If I can stop this, I'm sure the island will stop moving. Tentomon: Even if that's the case, we aren't enough to stop this large thing. Let's leave it and go look for the others.

Continuing his efforts to convince Koushiro that finding their friends is more important, Tentomon tries to get clever with it. Playing on logistics to try and weasel Koushiro out of this ruin.

Dub Tentomon, on the other hand, sees no value in passive-aggression when aggressive-aggression is right there.

Izzy: You know what I think? If we keep this gear from turning, we'll completely jam that creep up! Tentomon: Or even better, we could not do that! Wouldn't that be fun? And then we can go look for the others like we should have done in the first place!

"Jam that creep up"? Izzy, what does that even mean?

Sadly for Tentomon, Koushiro next gets invested in the data code printed on the walls. It's the same characters as the code from the factory.

Koushiro: I inputted all that data I found then on my computer... If I could just find a power source.... Tentomon: You won't find something convenient like that here! Let's hurry up and go look for everyone.

Tentomon takes another swing. This too misses but at least he tried.

Meanwhile, his Dub Counterpart is at his wit's end.

Izzy: All that data is stored on my hard drive. If only there was a power source here.... Tentomon: Get a power source! Stop the Gear! Is "find our friends" on that list!?

Either way, no dice. Koushiro observes that the ruin has electric lighting, then follows that train of logic until he finds exactly what he needs.

(Sure, an electrical outlet sticking out of a tree root is weird, but at this point, Koushiro doesn't even question it. It's File Island. Shit's like that here.)

To Tentomon's supreme dismay, Koushiro is able to turn on his laptop. He sits down to start deciphering these symbols.

Fortunately, even if they can't go looking for their friends, their friends can come to them.

Mimi also tries to convince Koushiro that searching for the rest of their group is imperative, but he refuses. He thinks that making sense of this data will be the key to understanding File Island and its mysteries.

With nothing else to do, Mimi's left to sit with Tentomon and wait impatiently for him to finish his computer stuff. It's not clear how much time passes, but a transitory wipe tells us that this is some time later.

Mimi: How long are you going to keep doing this? Koushiro: ... Mimi: Will something good happen if you find out what that is? Koushiro: ... Tentomon: Koushiro-han, Mimi-han is talking to you. Mimi: Hey, do we get to go home if you find out what that is? Koushiro: ...well-- Ah! I see! This goes here.... (Mimi stands up impatiently) Tentomon: (panicking) Koushiro-han! Mimi: Are you listening!? When are you going to be done!? Koushiro: ... (Mimi begins to pop a vein from fury) Koushiro: Ah! This is.... (The data on his screen turns into a map of the labyrinth) The ruins are a maze! Mimi: KOUSHIRO, YOU IDIOT!!!

It's at this moment that Mimi breaks down and starts bawling. Full-on ugly crying. Palmon watches Mimi for a moment, then joins in and starts crying too.

In the dub, we have:

Mimi: Izzy, any idea how long this is going to take? I mean, can we go sometime before winter sets in!? Izzy! Tentomon: Izzy, your friend is asking you a question. Mimi: Yeah, and her rear end's getting cold sitting on this stone floor doing nothing! Izzy: Hmm? Oh! Wait... Wait! Yeah, yeah! That might work! (Mimi stands up impatiently) Tentomon: Uh-oh. Izzy! Mimi: Are you ignoring me, you computer geek pipsqueak!? Izzy: (muttering to himself) Okay, so if I make the variable constant and search for file patterns... (Mimi begins to pop a vein from fury) Izzy: HEY! Here's something! (The data on his screen turns into a map of the labyrinth) Prodigious! These ruins are a gigantic maze! Mimi: I'M LEAVING!!! RIGHT NOW!!!

Similar to Taichi and Yamato's fistfight from last episode, both Mimi and Koushiro are sympathetic here and yet we can see how their characteristics are hurting each other.

The start of this exchange flows better in Japanese; There are pauses inserted between Mimi's questions to give Koushiro space to ignore her. In English, she never stops talking so we don't get to see for ourselves that her words are falling on deaf ears.

Nonetheless, there's good bits in both versions. I like the Japanese "Do we get to go home if you find out what that is?" and the English "[My] rear end's getting cold sitting on this stone floor doing nothing!"

Both of these remarks do a good job of conveying Mimi's problem with Koushiro's behavior; Like Taichi and the other side of the ocean, we're in the most dire crisis situation we've been in yet, and he's more interested in satisfying his curiosity than in the wellbeing of his fellow survivors. He doesn't even know what he expects to find here; Just. Something. Anything. Whatever the wall has to offer, honestly; He's not picky.

In conclusion, Koushiro made my kid cry so he needs to die the death of a thousand knives I AM A FAIR AND IMPARTIAL--

At the same time, maybe this is the key to cracking that Black Gear. We'll never know until we find out, right? As easy as it is to sympathize with Tentomon and with Mimi, it's as easy to sympathize with Koushiro. He's trying to concentrate on deciphering a computer code that has already demonstrated its influence over reality in the past, and we're making that harder.

They may not get into a knock-down brawl, but Mimi and Koushiro hurt each other. They struggle to see each other's point of view until it hits a breaking point.

Well, this escalated. Tentomon puts in his best effort to try and calm things down.

Tentomon: P-please don't cry! (turning to Koushiro) Koushiro-han! Koushiro: Y-your crying is bothersome. Tentomon: Koushiro-han, do something! Koushiro: Do what? Mimi: I'm hungry! I'm thirsty! I want to see everyone again! I don't want to stay in here any longer! Palmon: Me neither! Why are you ignoring us, Koushiro? Koushiro: I'm not ignoring you. Palmon: Then why aren't you listening to us? Koushiro: What's important right now is analyzing this data. You might not understand now but ultimately this will be very useful to Mimi-san and-- Mimi: No more! I hate you, Koushiro-kun! Palmon: You're not doing this for Mimi! You just like working with machines more, don't you! Koushiro: No, that's not true. Palmon: It's true, it has to be!

In total meltdown mode, Mimi flees from the room, but the door she exits from leads deeper into the ruin rather than outside. Tentomon flies after her to try and calm her down, leaving Palmon with Koushiro.

The dub seems a little more sympathetic to all sides of this altercation. Well, except Palmon.

Tentomon: Oh, don't cry, Mimi! (Palmon starts crying) Oh no, not you too! (turns to Izzy) Izzy, do something! Izzy: Do what!? My laptop can't do everything! Tentomon: I don't know! Tell her you're sorry! Izzy: Sorry for what!? Mimi: I can't take it anymore! I haven't had anything to eat and my feet are killing me and a giant lemon custard tried to kiss me and all I want to do is get out of here! Palmon: We just want to leave; Is that so wrong!? Honestly, Izzy, how can you be so insensitive!? Izzy: Insensitive!? What do you mean!? Palmon: You ignore us while you poke away at your computer. Izzy: I'm not ignoring you! I'm doing something ultra-important like maybe saving this world! If I can just decipher these hieroglyphs then maybe we could-- Mimi: Just keep your stupid hieroglyphics! Palmon: You just like playing on your computer, that's all! Izzy: You think I'm just playing around here!? Palmon: I almost think you like computers more than people!

Mimi, Izzy, and Tentomon all walk away from this dub with something extra. For Mimi, they rope in the context of her Sukamon encounter earlier leaving her high-strung and stressed out, to make her blow-up feel more understandable.

Tentomon offers more helpful suggestions than "Do something!", specifically encouraging Izzy to apologize to Mimi.

For Izzy, they cut out the line where he expressly calls Mimi bothersome and have him heroically claim that this research is meant to save Digi-World. In the original, all he's said on the matter of his motives is that he wants to understand this world's mysteries.

Everyone comes off a little rosier for these changes except for Palmon; Her new dialogue is a lateral shift.

Fleeing blindly into the labyrinth, Mimi trips over a tree root and falls flat on her face. Tentomon flies in after her, trying to help. But she is inconsolable, screaming that she wants to go home and running deeper inside.

Outside the ruins, Palmon and Koushiro search for them. Realizing they aren't out here, the only alternative is deeper inside. That's a problem, given what Koushiro learned earlier: These ruins are a huge maze. If Mimi and Tentomon went deeper in, they might never come back out.

Mimi calms down offscreen, and she and Tentomon begin to find their way together. The sight of a familiar marking on the wall, however, reveals that they're going in circles.

Back out front, Palmon wants to go in after Mimi, but Koushiro talks her out of it. She'd get lost too.

Though it's a bit more dangerous in the original version.

Koushiro: It looks like there are many traps set up inside this maze. Unless I finish this data analysis, we'll both get lost with them.

Whereas in the dub, he has this to say:

Izzy: We won't [leave them] but this is one super-complicated maze. I've gotta try to get a handle on it! Then maybe I can help get them out.

No mention of the traps; Only that it's complicated.

I like that the original expressly mentions finishing his data analysis, as that directly connects back to what he was saying about this research helping Mimi-san. The story's conspired to put Palmon in a situation where the way to save Mimi is by letting Koushiro complete his work.

Meanwhile, in the maze, a rock falls on Mimi's head because today doesn't suck enough yet.

This provokes her to vent about Koushiro.

Mimi: Owww.... Tentomon: Are you okay, Mimi-han? Mimi: That, and all of this, is Koushiro-kun's fault! Really! The way he ignores people makes me so mad! Tentomon: Well, it's true that Koushiro-han lacks charm, but he's not a bad boy! Mimi: But it's true that in his eyes, I'm not a consideration! Tentomon: When he gets caught up in something, he just doesn't notice anything else! I think he's a really good guy.

Tentomon, I don't think roundabout agreeing with her is the way to convince her that Koushiro's better than she thinks.

The dub keeps the falling rock but uses the vagueness of where it landed on her hat to spare her the impact.

Mimi: Great! Tentomon: Oh, dear! Are you hurt? Mimi: No, I'm fine. I'm getting used to it by now! (angrily muttering) If I'd just gone to cheerleading camp, none of this would have happened! Tentomon: Let's try a systematic approach to this. Maybe if we just keep turning to the left.... Mimi: Why should I listen to you? It's your friend Izzy that got me into this mess in the first place! Tentomon: Wait, don't be too hard on him! Yes, he gets a little wrapped up on his work and doesn't always interact well with others but he's a good boy!

...cheerleading camp for fourth-graders? Is that a thing? I'm not going to google that.

Tentomon's flailing to find a way to defend Koushiro in both versions. His arguments boil down to, "Yes, Koushiro sucks in the ways you describe, but I like him anyway!" I'm glad Koushiro isn't here to hear himself defended this poorly. XD

It's hard for Tentomon because he isn't equipped to win this argument. He agrees with Mimi, so what defenses can be made of Koushiro's choices aren't arguments Tentomon can make. He was saying the same things to Koushiro before Mimi arrived. But he wants to defend Koushiro anyway because that's his Partner. They have an emotional bond.

Speaking of which....

Koushiro finishes his analysis, activating new functionality on his map. Now he has a glowing dot revealing Mimi's precise location within the labyrinth, which he can click on to hear her and Tentomon.

Reasoning that an audio channel should work both ways, he takes out a headset and plugs it in. Calling out to Mimi, Koushiro offers to guide her through the maze. Palmon backs him up, assuring Mimi that he can handle this. Mimi accepts Koushiro's guidance.

As Koushiro guides her through, suddenly a yellow blinking dot appears, slowly approaching Mimi's red dot. Uncertain of what that could be, Koushiro tells Mimi to run.

It takes no time at all for the yellow dot to reveal himself to Mimi.

Kentarumon, an Adult-stage Data-type Digimon. His name is derived from the word "centaur", obviously. The narrator gives us his rundown.

Narrator: Kentarumon. A proud Digimon who is half-man, half-beast. With high pressure air spurting from his back, he can move at the speed of sound.

Kentarumon himself is another voiceless Digimon given dialogue in the dub, which also pronounces his name with a soft C sound instead of a hard K.

Centarumon: Tentomon? It's been such a long time! Tentomon: Oh no! Centarumon! Half-man, half-horse! You really don't want to get on either of his bad sides!

This dub exchange implies a bit of a history; Centarumon recognizes Tentomon on sight, but Tentomon reacts to Centarumon with fear and trepidation before even knowing about his Black Gear.

Fleeing from Kentarumon, Koushiro directs them into a dead end. They don't understand, but when they try to ask him about it, he's gone. We cut back to his laptop and mic lying on the ground, abandoned by Koushiro and Palmon.

Kentarumon approaches, converting his arm into a cyberpunk pulse cannon. He can't call it because he doesn't speak, but this is his signature move: Hunting Cannon.

(Seems like overkill for hunting but, then again, I've seen the wildlife on this island so maybe not.)

Kentarumon misses his first shot, breaking open a chunk of the wall and letting light spill in. Mimi desperately asks Tentomon to evolve, but he can't; Not without Koushiro.

Fortunately, he won't be without Koushiro for long. Leaving the computer behind and taking action, Koushiro and Palmon break down the weak outer wall in the room he sent Mimi too.

And now it's a fight. Palmon evolves into Togemon to protect Mimi from Kentarumon. Tentomon also evolves, but this decision is... questionable.

Room ain't big enough for Kabuterimon. His size increase also ends up pushing Togemon over, nearly killing Koushiro.

Bad choices were made. Fortunately, Kentarumon fixes it by blasting everyone through the wall and sending them outside. Once they're free to move, this fight is over in an instant.

A combination Chiku Chiku Bang-Bang and Mega Blaster hit Kentarumon hard enough to destroy his Black Gear. Easy as pie.

As with most corrupted Digimon, the act of being corrupted messed with Kentarumon's linguistics in the original. Once he wakes up, he's able to speak. He recognizes the Digivice on Mimi's bag and brings the kids back inside the ruins, officially introducing us to the device the kids have had on them for so long.

Kentarumon explains the Digivices to Koushiro and Mimi, though he doesn't have much information to offer beyond vague gesturing at goodness.

It's a holy device that "guides the world towards light while driving out the darkness". We've seen that in action a few times by this point, but it's good to have it finally put into words. These ruins are dedicated to the Digivice, with Kentarumon as their guardian.

He doesn't have time to say any more, because they have a visitor.

Kentarumon demands an explanation for the weird shit Leomon's saying. But Leomon goes straight to work, lunging for the kids and firing off his Juuouken. Kentarumon blocks his shot, refusing to let Leomon attack these children.

Kentarumon: These children hold the holy devices. After protecting these ruins for so long, it is now my duty to also protect these children!

Leomon breaks free from Kentarumon and fires off his Juuouken, but Kentarumon darts away from the shot and returns fire with Hunting Cannon. This exchange lets the dub officially name both of these attacks: Fist of the Beast King and Solar Ray.

Leomon tanks Kentarumon's Hunting Cannon, then returns fire with a point-blank Juuouken to the face. His shot puts Kentarumon down for the count.

Well, that's settled. Nothing left to do but kill the children.

Leomon advances on the kids. Mimi shrieks, raising her purse to hide behind. In the process, activating her Digivice attached to the purse strap and shining its purifying light on Leomon.

Seeing Leomon falter, Koushiro understands. He grabs his Digivice and encourages Mimi, and together they drive Leomon away.

"Bad kitty! Out! Go on, out!" ~Dub Mimi, in what may be the best line of the episode.

Leomon retreats, allowing the kids to regroup with Kentarumon.

Mimi: Did he run away? I guess we're saved. Koushiro: Is this the power of the holy device? Mimi: Who cares about that? I'm hungry.

Koushiro's awed by the power of the Digivice, but Mimi's still as hangry as she was when she entered the labyrinth.

Dub Mimi's more excited about all this.

Mimi: Well, that got rid of him! These things really are kind of amazing! Izzy: A preserver of light against the darkness.... Mimi: Can you order a pizza with it? I'm still starving.

How mad do you think these kids would be if it turned out their Digivices could summon pizza this entire time? I'd be furious.

With Leomon driven off, the kids turn their attention to the Black Gear out front.

Koushiro asks Kentarumon to stop the Black Gear, but he refuses. The evil power inside the Gear is too much for him. This leaves Koushiro with no choice but to return to his computer.

Mimi: Even after I said I was hungry, he's still doing this. Koushiro: As I thought, I'll have to analyze this data with the data from these other characters. I'm sure I'll find a hint in here. Mimi: Bah! We'll be waiting 10 billion and 10 thousand years for that to be deciphered! Koushiro: But-- Mimi: (storms over to the Gear) This Gear can't even fill my stomach!

We are right back where we started. Koushiro dives back into his computer, setting off Mimi again.

The irony is not lost on Dub Mimi.

Mimi: Are you still going on about that? We need to start looking for something to eat! Izzy: Guess I'll just have to keep deciphering and analyzing these two sets of hieroglyphs. I'm sure all the answers are in here somewhere. Mimi: Excuse me!? Isn't this where I came in!? You're not seriously starting all that again, not right now! Izzy: Just a nano! Mimi: (storms over to the Gear) This Black Gear! Who cares about that dumb old thing!? All I want is lunch!

Mimi's furious punt wins the day. While Koushiro had been approaching this analytically, Mimi lashing out and taking direct action does the trick. The Black Gear kicks into reverse, sending the shard back towards Infinity Mountain.

Mimi and Koushiro go outside to see the effects for themselves. There, the practical evidence convinces Koushiro of the wisdom in what the others have been expressing to him.

Koushiro: The island is moving backwards! I see! Just like you said, Mimi-san, there are many things I should try out physically! Mimi: I'M HUNGRY!!!

I wonder how different this episode would be if that banana bunch had actually contained any bananas in it.

I don't know if they did it on purpose or not but the dub's version of this sounds a little condescending.

Izzy: Look! The process has reversed itself. Excellent work, Mimi; It just goes to show you that sometimes the simplest solution is actually the best. Mimi: That's not much of a compliment.

It's not much of a concession either. Koushiro's vindication from their argument came when his data was useful in rescuing Mimi from the labyrinth. This moment is supposed to be Mimi's vindication, with Koushiro acknowledging the merit in getting up and doing things rather than simply analyzing.

But the way Izzy says it doesn't make it sound like he learned anything from this, but rather that he's simply acknowledging Mimi for a task completed. He's imparting the lesson on a non-specific "you" rather than claiming ownership of it.

With the two island shards now drifting apart, with close on one last attempt by Scumon, who's been waiting this whole time for Mimi to return. He calls out to her, asking one last time for a romantic date, and we clone on Mimi shooting him another akanbe.

Assessment: Like the previous episode did for Taichi's boldness and Yamato's selflessness, this episode shines a light on the darkness buried in Koushiro's curiosity and Mimi's sincerity. The two characters have diametrically opposed ways of experiencing and engaging with the world around them, and so their collision hurts them both.

But we also see those characteristics shine through in the end, as the episode builds them both up to a triumphant vindication. Ending on the implicit statement that neither Mimi nor Koushiro is wrong for how they are, but rather that they could stand to learn a few things from one another.

Mimi could stand to be more thoughtful in the choices that she makes, and Koushiro could stand to jump off a cliff because he made my kid cry be more active in his approach to problem-solving. The data he uncovered was vital in saving Mimi's life from the labyrinth but also the Black Gear he'd been contemplating was trivially easy to reverse as soon as anyone bothered to try.

For the dub, this is one of the stronger localizations. A lot of their jokes landed. While their take on these scenes was weaker in some places, they added a lot to others. It's not perfect; As with Tai last episode, they sand off some of Izzy and Mimi's rough edges. But I think it's the best dub we've gotten thus far.

[puppiesandnightlock]

LINK: Goodbye Was Not Our End

chpt summary: after five years, the boys reunite.

“I have nothing to wear!” Jon stared at his closet, unsatisfactory outfits littered around the room.

Friday had finally come, and Jon was sure he couldn't have been the only one agonizing over this, Damian had always taken care of his appearance as a teen in public. 

“Daddy?” a little head of mussed black curls peeked into his room. 

Ah, dammit.

“Good morning, Laurel!” He called cheerfully to his daughter, the both of them still in their pajamas. He decided to leave his clothing for later, a quick call to Kathy would most likely solve his fashion problems.

He scooped her up, nuzzling her nose with his as she giggled. “How are you on this fine morning, princess?”

“Good!” He carried her to her room, walls painted a light green with flower blossom stickers decorating it. He set her back down on the little wooden toddler bed, speaking.

“What are we feelin’ today? Overalls okay?”

She nodded. “Pink.”

He pulled a pink shirt off a hanger and folded it neatly, leaving her to get dressed by herself per her request.

Nutella was spread across two pieces of bread, Jon slicing strawberries and bananas to set on top.

He pulled a small lunchbox from the fridge and set it next to the little backpack. Laurel came out of her room, fully dressed and a pair of red converse in hand. Jon swept her curls into two small ponytails as she ate the toast, leaving half of it down. 

He tied her shoelaces and ran to get dressed himself, making a mental note to change before lunch.

 He skipped his morning college lecture, asking for the notes from an acquaintance, and heading straight for the Daily Planet. He had managed to secure a temporary job as a remote journalist until he completed his masters and got his credentials, luckily allowing him to work from home most days.

Despite that, Jon often made his way into the office after he’d finished an article, preferring to pick up his next assignment in person then over email.

It was now an hour before his scheduled lunch, and he was a nervous wreck, even after following Kathy’s fashion advice. 

What could he say that wouldn’t make him sound stupid? Does he talk about Laurel? Should he apologize for five years ago? Would they see each other again or was this just…closure?

If it was only closure…he hoped he was able to let go.

Only one way to find out, he supposed, locking his door and going to his parking spot, unlocking his car and setting the course for the little cafe they were to meet up in.

Damian was panicking.

He’d pulled over several times to shove his head between his legs and breathe deeply, humming to himself to calm down. There was a part of him that sneered, screaming out “Pathetic.” at his nerves.

Now, he was entering Metropolis, following the directions on the screen. Too late to chicken out now. He looked at himself as he hit a red light, outfit chosen with careful consideration and Skylar, Steph, Duke, and Maya’s approval. A touch of eyeliner was applied per Akira’s instruction, drawing attention to his deep green eyes, and a dangling gold cuff in his left ear. His right ear had a gold stud and small loop.

He tapped a finger impatiently on the wheel, deep green sleeves of the oversized open sweater he was wearing coming over his hands.

He pulled into the lot, checking the time. He was a few minutes early, and he tugged at the black turtleneck under his sweater, feeling heated all of a sudden. It felt like something had taken him over, drumming energy into his body.

A DM popped up and he fumbled with his phone, nearly dropping it. He took a deep breath before opening his car door, locking it and shoving his phone into the deep pocket of his jacket.

His black combat boots clicked against the pavement as he scanned the cafe in front of him, knowing that despite the years between them, he’d always be able to recognize the boy who haunted his dreams. 

A head of black curls came into his vision and desperation filled him, urging him to go forwards.

 “JON!” He called out. 

Time seemed to slow as he turned, Damian coming to a halt as he met the eyes he’d so missed.

“Damian?” Jon’s face broke into a grin, the blinding smile that was so genuine, it brought him back to high school when he would have done anything to see it appear.

He was taller now, still more then him, and his curls were cut short, styled fashionably. His freckles were still prominent, the glasses he’d carried up into their senior year traded for contact lenses.

Damian’s heart was caught in his throat, palms beginning to gather sweat. His pulse was running wild and he knew he must have looked like an idiot, standing there and staring at his childhood ex-best friend like he was an alien.

Jon didn’t seem to mind, running up to him. It was only then when he snapped out of it, magnetically drawn to the taller boy, letting himself be enveloped in Jon’s arms.

The warmth lulled him, flutters of familiarity and something so right flooding through him. He wanted to laugh and cry and scream all at once, run five laps but stay in his embrace.

He let his arms tighten around the other and kept them both in a firm hug, shutting his eyes before hearing a clearing of the throat.

He let go and stepped back immediately, embarrassment flooding his cheeks. He tugged on the collar of his turtleneck again and looked up ( looked up!! ) at Jon, cooling relief as he noticed the same embarrassment on his face.

“Jon.” He dipped his head in greeting, smile playing on his lips.

“Damian.” Jon responded in kind, grinning all the while. They sat down, the reunion euphoria settling and slowly turning the atmosphere into an uncomfortable silence.

They studied each other, watching for things that had become different during their time apart.

Jon noted the earrings, more bold from the simple gold studs Damian had worn, the only pair he’d owned back in high school. There were two more piercings, and his hair had grown longer, strands of it falling in his face. His eyes were still the same but held a haunting air, speaking of unspeakable things in the past.

It twisted in his heart and he looked down, noting the boots and generally stylish outfit. It was good to see that in that aspect he hadn’t changed much. Even not having much growing up, Damian had always managed to piece something together that made him look gorgeous.

“So…” Jon coughed. “How’ve you been?”

Damian seemed surprised, but he overcame it quickly. “Fine. You?”

“Fine too.”

The silence trailed off. 

“Timothy has told me Kon is doing well.”

Jon brightened, here was something he could talk about. “He is! His fashion line thing is taking off quicker than any of us had expected, and he’s kinda just goin’ around on the internet and stuff, you know? How’ve your siblings been?”

“They’ve been doing fairly well. Cassandra has become a talented dancer, and Tim has started his technology company. It’s doing pretty well, and Steph just entered pre-med school.”

“Jason helped out a colleague of mine in her singing, as well as his own music channel. He’s been cast as lead in the musical his school is putting on. Duke has been publishing poetry and is finishing up his degree, Dick is well, ten, but has shown a strong interest in music himself. And I’m not too bad off myself, what with ROBIN and all that.”

“I know!” Jon blurted out, Damian raising an eyebrow. He flushed pink and stumbled, backtracking.

“I-i don’t know if you remember, but i uh, i was a big fan of yours when you’d first started up. O-of course i didn’t know it was you at time but ah-”

Damian laughed, the quiet noise of joy ringing in Jon’s ears, a beautifully familiar song.

“I remember. I’m surprised you still stuck with him all this time, huh?” he grinned for a split second, fading quickly.

“Have you found your happy ending yet?” The question was a silent murmur, near inaudible.

Jon was brought back to that day, so blissfully unaware of how soon after their bond would break. 

“No.” He said finally. “I haven’t reached it yet. I thought I had, for a bit. But no.”

Haisley’s gone, then.

“What about you?” 

Damian quickly shook his head. “Not even close.” 

I could never, not without you.

“It’s nice to hear you’re doing well. I ever thought we’d get this chance again.” 

Jon smiled softly. “I’m glad we did, Damian.”

They stuck around for another hour or two, chattering about mindless things and catching each other up on their lives. Their last argument, nor the ROBIN stream or Laurel came up in the conversation. 

It would be best to save that for a different time, they supposed.

Damian checked his watch, noting the time. “It’s getting late, I’m sure you have places to be.” 

They both stood, facing each other and unsure of what to do next. Their initial hug had been something long overdue, and not at all thought out. However, the air of awkwardness returned, and they simply stood staring at each other, unsure of how to proceed. 

A dance of attempted hugs, handshakes and fistbumps occurred, before they eventually paused, holding a gaze for a few seconds before collapsing into laughter. 

Damian bumped him with his shoulder gently, offering a smile. Jon pulled him into a quick side hug, and when they parted, he smiled.

“I really am happy we could meet again. If you want we could do this again sometime?” The hopeful look in his eyes, filled with a strange hue of innocence sparked something inside of Damian, causing him to mirror the expression and nod.

“Of course, J.” The familiar nickname flowed off his tongue out of what he thought was a long forgotten habit.

The slip made Jon’s whole being light up, although Damian himself winced. “See you later, then? Just message me and we can sort out a day.”

He began trotting backwards, tapping his phone. The shorter man laughed a bit as he watched him leave, a gentle pang in his chest reminding him of all the things he’d so missed.

They had yet to have the conversion about the past, and both figured it could wait a bit, after all, they had just gotten each other back. Each wanted to bask in it, if only for a little while.

Damian collapsed on their couch moments after entering their house, keys still in one hand.

“How did it go?” Duke called from his room.

“Fine!” he called back.

Ugh. He realized with devastating pain. He’s still cute.

This is fine. It would be fine. After all, it was just a normal observation, it wasn’t an immediate crush, it was a stated fact about someone’s appearance. 

It's not like this would activate any lingering feelings or make him fall in love again, right?

…right?

[nirdosh-jagota]

The Role of Biotech in Food Security and Nutrition

Food security isn’t just a buzzword where I work—it’s the daily problem we solve. Every time we map a gene sequence, field-test a drought-tolerant crop, or pilot biofortified seed varieties, we’re dealing with real-world hunger, nutritional gaps, and fragile supply chains. I’ve spent years in biotech labs and field collaborations focused on one goal: helping more people get the food they need, with the nutrients they’re missing, in the face of unpredictable climate and rising costs. Biotechnology gives us the tools to do that. It lets us breed faster, grow smarter, and deliver value at the cellular level. From pest-resistant cotton in India to iron-rich beans in East Africa, I’ve seen how this science shows up in people’s meals. Here’s what that work looks like behind the scenes—and why it matters.

We Use Genetic Modification to Maximize Output in Tough Conditions

I work with teams that design crop traits for specific regional stressors. Drought, salinity, pests—you name it. When we develop drought-tolerant maize, it's because farmers in sub-Saharan Africa can’t afford to lose another harvest. We’re not guessing which traits might help—we’re engineering the plant to hold on to moisture longer, produce more under less, and resist pests without constant chemical intervention.

These aren’t lab-bound ideas. They’re planted, harvested, and evaluated by growers working on plots where every square meter matters. Pest-resistant cotton, Bt brinjal (eggplant), and herbicide-tolerant soybeans are all commercialized products we’ve helped scale, not academic curiosities.

Yields aren’t just going up—they’re becoming more stable, which is just as important. A 10% bump in output is useful. But predictable harvests that don’t crash in heat waves or insect infestations? That’s what builds food security.

We Use Biofortification to Tackle Hidden Hunger

I’ve worked on vitamin A–enhanced rice projects, and I’ve seen how skeptical policymakers become strong supporters once the data hits. Golden Rice was one of the first biofortified crops I helped push toward regulatory review, and the science behind it changed how we design for nutrition.

In many low-income regions, food is available but dangerously low in essential nutrients. That's where biotech closes the gap. We’ve engineered cassava with higher zinc, maize with more lysine, and beans with higher iron content. These aren't food supplements; they’re staple crops redesigned to deliver what diets lack—directly through everyday meals.

We’ve learned to match our work to what people already eat. Changing dietary habits takes decades. Changing crop profiles can take a few growing seasons when the biotech pipeline works efficiently.

We Reduce Chemical Dependency with Smarter Crops

One of the most satisfying parts of biotech work is helping farmers cut their input costs. In projects we’ve run across Southeast Asia and Latin America, we’ve replaced multiple pesticide sprays per season with a single genetically engineered resistance trait.

That’s not just a cost saving. It reduces environmental exposure, protects non-target species, and keeps farm workers safer. Herbicide-tolerant crops also enable conservation tillage, which keeps soil intact and improves water retention—critical in arid and semi-arid zones where we’re working to stabilize yields.

We still run extensive field trials to test these benefits over time. But when I visit partner farms and see farmers using less spray and getting better crops, it’s a clear reminder that biotechnology isn’t just about better science—it’s about better farming.

We Extend Shelf Life and Reduce Food Loss with Gene Editing

I’ve worked on CRISPR-edited bananas that resist bruising and last longer post-harvest. Those traits don’t sound dramatic until you see the difference in truckload losses. In high-temperature regions, perishable crops often rot before they reach market—not because of quality, but because the supply chain is unforgiving.

By editing genes that control ethylene production (the ripening hormone), we’re slowing down spoilage without adding chemicals or refrigeration. Tomatoes, lettuce, and even leafy greens are getting shelf-life upgrades using similar techniques.

This reduces food waste not only at the consumer level, but across the transport and distribution chain. It’s biotech supporting efficiency, especially in places that lack cold storage infrastructure.

Food Safety and Public Confidence Depend on How We Communicate

Every time we bring a new crop forward, there’s a conversation about risk—and there should be. But those conversations have to be driven by science, not fear. That’s why I sit in on regulatory reviews, public outreach sessions, and technical Q&As with local governments.

We share everything—gene sequences, trial data, allergen profiles, environmental impact assessments—because transparency earns trust. And once communities understand that these crops aren’t strange or dangerous, but carefully tested and targeted tools, the resistance fades.

Food security doesn’t just come from better seeds. It comes from public confidence that those seeds are safe, beneficial, and responsibly managed.

Policy Determines Whether Good Science Reaches Farmers

I’ve worked in regions where the science was ready, but the politics weren’t. That delay costs time, investment, and—frankly—lives. When biotech crops are stuck in regulatory bottlenecks, it slows adoption and leaves vulnerable communities with fewer options.

On the flip side, I’ve seen what happens when policy supports the science. China’s recent move to approve gene-edited crops is going to open the door for massive yield gains in rice and soy. Brazil’s flexible regulatory system has helped launch some of the most successful biotech crop portfolios in the world.

As developers, we can only take things so far. Governments have to meet us halfway with science-based policies that allow innovation to scale safely and fairly.

How Biotech Supports Global Nutrition

Boosts yields – Through drought, pest, and disease resistance

Enhances nutrients – With biofortified crops targeting deficiencies

Reduces waste – With longer-lasting fruits and vegetables

Lowers input needs – By cutting pesticide and fertilizer use

Adapts to climate – By building resilience into crop genetics

Innovation Only Matters if It Reaches the Plate

Biotechnology isn't just about improving crops. It’s about connecting lab innovation to the dinner table—especially where nutrition and access are most at risk. Every project I support—whether it’s a gene-edited rice variety or a vitamin-rich legume—is tied to real problems we’re solving with farmers, governments, and food producers on the ground.

What makes this work powerful is its reach. A single biotech breakthrough doesn’t just change a seed. It changes a harvest, a diet, and a future. And when we get it right—scientifically, ethically, and collaboratively—those changes feed millions.

Biotechnology isn’t just about smarter crops; it’s about smarter solutions to global hunger and nutrition challenges. For more insights on how science meets the real world, visit Tumblr.

[btssavedmylifeblr]

Void - Part 7 (M)

title banner by @rude–jude♡

Genre: Sci-fi with a little angst and a LOT of smut

Pairing: BTS x Reader (yup - all seven)

Summary: You are the only female crew member on a 12 year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.

Word Count: 10.9k

Part 7 / ?

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Warnings: explicit sexual content, alcohol masturbation, voyeurism, more non-monogamy

The men at the table stare at you, dumb-founded. Jungkook’s mouth hangs open. Hoseok hides his mouth behind his hand; his eyes are wide with shock. Jimin spins around, trying to gauge the others’ reactions. Namjoon leans back in his chair, face unreadable, his chin resting on his hand as he looks from you to your powerpoint. Jin laughs uncomfortably then clears his throat and silence falls again.

Yoongi speaks first. “You put sources on your powerpoint about how we should all start fucking?”  

“It’s important to cite your sources,” you mutter, shuffling your feet.

Taehyung sits up straighter on his cot. “Are you saying we should start fucking you or each other?”

“Well, the bonobos do both. They are fully bisexual. Almost all aggressive contests are settled by sex. Even when two males squabble over a female, they often resolve it by rubbing their genitals together.”

“What?” Hoseok injects. “You want us to start rubbing our genitals together?” His cheeks blush.

“No, no, no.” You shake your head. “I meant you all should have sex with me.” Your own cheeks heat up as you say it. “I can’t control what you do with other people. In an ideal world, it would be both. But it seemed best to start with me.”

Jungkook mouths the words “start with” to himself, still staring at the table.

“But like, how would that work logistically?” Taehyung asks.

“Well, there are seven of you, so that could be like one per day. Take a week off for my period.”

Jimin splutters, whirling to face Yoongi. “Did you put her up to this?”

Yoongi shakes his head, frowning.

“No one put me up to this!” you argue. “This is what I think is best for the mission.”

An explosion of opinions pours out of all the men at once. Hoseok is swearing under his breath. Taehyung is trying to get Jimin’s attention, but Jimin is arguing with Yoongi. Jungkook wants to know how you decide who goes first. Jin says something to Namjoon that you can’t hear.

“So, um…” You struggle to regain command of the room over the chatter. “My period starts tomorrow, so take a few days to think about it.”

“Officer.” Namjoon’s deep voice cuts over everyone else and the conversation at the table ceases. “You and I need to speak privately. Now.”

The commander stands up from the table and gestures toward the door. The rest of the crew looks back and forth between the two of you wearing expressions of shock and confusion.

You avoid their gazes as you follow Namjoon’s direction out into the hallway. He steps out after you, closing the door behind him. A flurry of chatter resumes after the door shuts, but it’s too muffled to hear what the rest of the crew are saying. You and Namjoon stare at each other.

“So…” you say, shifting your weight between your feet.

“Let’s talk in my office,” he says, squeezing past you and moving in the direction of the sleep pods.

You examine him from behind as you follow him to his office, trying to gauge what he’s thinking. Are his shoulders tense? Is he angry with you? Are you about to be scolded?

His office is also his bedroom. And you did just offer to fuck him, no strings attached. But of all your crew, Namjoon is the one that you have the most strictly professional relationship with. His walls are almost as impenetrable as yours. But he is a man, right? And men like sex, right? It would have been more awkward to not include him. This wasn’t about personal feelings. It was about the mission. And you were all in the mission together.

________

Sweat pools at the base of your spine under the hot studio lights. A reporter drums her long red nails on her clipboard as the sound technician adjusts the microphones between interviews.

Press junkets are your least favorite part of the job, made all the worse by your mission director insisting you all dress in full launch gear, despite the launch still being two weeks away.

“This is the last one.” Namjoon turns around from his front and center seat to whisper to the rest of the crew.

Yoongi groans, rubbing his face with his hands. “Why do we have so many of them when they all ask the same questions?”

The eight of you have been trapped in this room all day as a parade of different reporters trail in and ask the same inane questions.

This new reporter opens with a softball. “How’s the food?”

“Good!” Namjoon patiently answers this question for the third time today. “The ICSE has recruited the top food scientists to figure out which foods hold their flavor and nutrition best in long term storage. And our chief botanist here is going to keep us well stocked with fruits and vegetables. Right, officer?” He gestures for you to chime in.

“Yup!” You are grateful to Namjoon for pitching you a question that isn’t about you being the only woman in a crew full of men. You’ve already had to explain how periods in space work twice today (short answer: pretty much the same way they work on Earth). “We have lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, peas, bean, soy, carrots, cabbage, chilis, potatoes, lemons, oranges and strawberries, plus a bunch of fresh herbs. They even found a way for us to grow mushrooms out of our culinary compost.”

The reporter makes a disgusted face at the idea of compost mushrooms and pivots to a new line of questioning. “What will you miss most about home?”

“Why don’t we go around the group?” Namjoon prompts. Even your commander seems to be fading in enthusiasm by this point. “I’m going to miss long walks in the fresh air, and my family, of course.”

Most of the crew answers with some variation of friends and family. Yoongi will miss his brother’s cooking. Taehyung will miss his dog who is going to live with his parents. Jungkook will miss long showers and his mom.

“What’s one personal item you’re taking with you?” she asks.

Namjoon is bringing a Chinese elm bonsai tree that he calls his tiny friend. Hoseok is bringing a stuffed Earth plushie given to him by his niece. Jin is bringing vodka.

The reporter narrows her eyes at the mention of alcohol and leans forward. “So what do you do if you feel a crew member’s judgement has been compromised?”

“We have protocols in place,” Namjoon answers. “Tests of cognitive impairment and such. We’re also coached in what we call “expeditionary behaviors” which are key to maintaining peace and cooperation on board.

Yoongi chimes in. “The key to solving all disputes is our ability to be honest with each other. When there is a problem, we sit down as a group and discuss it.”

“Our readers are saying what a tragedy it is that we are shipping seven of our most eligible bachelors off to space for a decade.” She laughs. “Any broken hearts being left here on Earth?”

“Oh!” Namjoon draws back and looks unsuredly at the rest of the group. This was not a question he was expecting to be asked today. “Umm…” he laughs nervously.

“My mom is devastated!” Jin cracks from the back row and the rest of the crew laughs in relief.

But the reporter doesn’t want to let go of this idea so quickly, so she turns to you. “Well, you must certainly enjoy having such handsome crew members.”

“Uh…” To your complete mortification, you actually blush in response. You clench your fist to try to get a grip. To your right, Hoseok’s hand flinches, as if he can feel the need to hold you back. “I’m going on this mission to find life on other planets.” You grit your teeth. “My only interest in my crew is whether or not they do their jobs.”

The woman shakes her head, laughing. “Doesn’t hurt that they look good doing it.”

_______

Namjoon opens the door to his office and gestures for you to enter. The number of papers on his desk seems to have multiplied, which theoretically shouldn’t be possible.

“I’m going to say three words to you,” Namjoon says as he closes the door behind him. “And then I need you to repeat them back to me: banana, river, finger.”

“Namjoon,” you cross your arms. “I’m not cognitively impaired right now.”

He mirrors your closed stance. “Please repeat the words.”

You sigh. “Banana, river, finger.”

He pulls a piece of paper from his desk and wipes it clean, before handing it to you, along with a pen. “I need you to draw a clock face.”

“Seriously?”

“Set it to quarter past eight.”

“This isn’t necessary, commander,” you grumble as you take the pen and paper, drawing a rudimentary clock face and setting the hands to 8:15. “See?” You hand the paper back to him and he inspects it.

He nods, rubbing his chin. “Repeat the three words again.”

“Banana, river, finger.” You put your hands on your hips. “You think my judgement is compromised?”

Namjoon sighs. “Everything seems to be in order. You must admit, your behavior recently has been uncharacteristic to say the least. Are you sure everything is okay?”

“Well, no, everything is not okay, that’s why I’m doing this.”

He leans against his desk, looking you up and down. “I fail to see how fraternizing with the entire crew will improve things.”

The back of your neck heats up in embarrassment, but you press on. You need the commander to be onboard with your plan.

“You admit we have a morale problem, right?”

He nods. “Hard to suggest otherwise. What with all the recent events.”

“Okay, so I was going through the principles of expeditionary behavior last night as I figured out what to do. Principle One:  Communication - talk so you are clearly understood, talk about intentions before taking action, share information freely.”

“I know the principles.” Namjoon interrupts.

“But don’t you see? That’s why I had to call the meeting. Why I had to get everything out in the open, share information freely.”

“That explains why you needed to inform the crew of your relationship with Jimin. It doesn’t explain why you think it would be good to involve everyone.”

“Principle Two: Self-care - manage psychological and physiological health, balance work, rest, and personal time, be proactive to stay healthy and mitigate stress.”

Namjoon arches an eyebrow. “A lack of sex doesn’t damage your health.”

“With all due respect commander, I think it does.”

“There are outlets to relieve sexual urges other than exploiting our only female crew member.”

“Well, they were all trading porn with each other. That’s how this whole thing started.” Namjoon purses his lips in thought. That seems to be new information to your commander. You continue your argument. “Principle Three: Team-care - monitor team for signs of stress and fatigue - which we have a multitude of, cooperate rather than compete, encourage participation in team activities.”

“Are you considering this a team activity?”

“Well, yes. Like the bonobos do.”

Namjoon shakes his head. “Let me speak so I am clearly understood. I can’t prevent you or the rest of the crew from doing what you want to do with your personal time. But I can’t participate in it either. I’m the commanding officer on this ship. It’s inappropriate. We can’t have an equitable relationship.”

“That’s why it’s not a relationship though, it’s just sex. And if everyone involved is consenting...”

He rubs the back of his neck. “Let’s be honest about intent for a minute. Is that really what you want? You want all seven of us?”

“Umm…” Your stomach churns as you are unable to admit that, yes, that is what you want. “I think it’s best for the mission.”

“Part of principle three is to volunteer for unpleasant tasks if they benefit the team. Are you sure that’s not what you’re doing right now, officer?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Though embarrassing to admit, boning your attractive colleagues is not an unpleasant task in the slightest.

“You should also consider the fact that whatever forms do get signed will have to be sent back to mission control. And may get out to the press.”

“I thought HR decisions were confidential.”

“Juicy stories have a tendency to find their way out. Especially when they distract from failed missions that added years on to our trip.”

“I understand, commander. Information must be shared freely. I still think this plan is necessary if we’re going to complete this mission successfully.”

“Okay.” Namjoon sighs, dropping his hands to his sides. “It would seem there is no talking you out of it.”

“No, sir. I intend to implement with full commitment.”

The two of you stare at each other for a minute. An immovable object and an unstoppable force.

“So… should I go?”

“Yes, you’re dismissed.”

________

After the press junket is mercifully over, Hoseok catches you in the hallway.

“Hey, you coming to Tae and Jimin’s quarantine party tonight?” Tonight is the last night you all are allowed to see other people before you enter your two-week quarantine prior to launch. “Seems like you could use a drink.”

“I don’t know,”  you sigh, leaning against the wall.

“What’s on your mind?” He leans next to you.

“That last reporter, she got in my head.” You rub your forehead.

Hoseok rubs the back of his neck. His jawline tenses as he mulls over what to say.

Hoseok is so handsome. And smart. And newly single. He broke up with his girlfriend a couple of weeks ago before signing the final mission papers. And now he was going to be the one of only seven people in your whole world.

In another life, you would want to date him. You’d be dying to go to a party with him and plot how to get him alone for part of the evening. In another life, you would have fallen in love with him. But in this life, he’d been dating someone else for the whole time you’ve known him. And you have a mission.

What’s most grating is that the gossip columnist isn’t wrong. You’d be hard pressed to find a better set of men anywhere on Earth than the seven you were leaving with. They were all attractive, smart, kind, disciplined, athletic young men. It would be much easier to be entirely professional if you had a crew of balding middle-aged men.

“Do you think it's a mistake? Me going on this mission?” you finally ask.

“What?” Hoseok gasps. “No! Why would you think that?”

“The mission director said it was supposed to be only men. That mixed gender crews are too complicated.”

“Have we ever done anything to make you feel like we don’t view you as a professional?”

“No, no, of course not.” Other than being ridiculously good-looking.

Hoseok’s fingers twiddle nervously. “And we won’t. We’re a team. You’re our colleague. This mission is so much bigger than any one of us. And you’re the best candidate for this position.”

“I’m the only candidate.”

Hoseok smiles. “Well, that’s exactly my point. We’d be lost without our biologist. Besides, you were better than all the male candidates even before they dropped out.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Oh yes, I do. Are you forgetting how badly you kicked my ass all over organic chemistry? And I was the chem major! It was such a disgrace.” You both laugh.

You smile at the memory: early morning study sessions, Hoseok bringing you coffee in exchange for your homework help.

“Come on,” he insists. “I know you. You can’t not go. You’re going to be the first woman on Europa. It’s been your destiny since college. Don’t you want to see it with us?”

Yes, you wanted to see it so badly. You picture the two of you looking out over the icy surface together.

“Come tonight.” Hoseok insists. “It’ll be fine, you’ll see. We won’t mess this up for you.”

“Thank you, Hoseok.”

_______

You leave Namjoon’s bedroom and climb into your own sleep pod, the question of what mission control or the press know about what’s happening on this ship weighing on your mind.

Unfortunately, googling it for yourself won’t work. It takes between 10 and 20 minutes for a single signal to get from your ship to Earth, depending on exactly where you both are in your orbits. Then it takes another 10-20 minutes to return. Usually if you wanted to research something, you’d submit a formal request to your research assistants back on Earth,  who would gather a collection of relevant documents for you and send you a bundle of them all at once. But asking your research assistants to assemble a dossier on your rumored sex life was out of the question. You need someone you can trust.

You pull out your laptop and compose the following email.

Hi Dianna,

How are you doing? I’m sorry I’ve been slow to respond to your messages lately, things have been a bit messy out here. I was wondering if I could ask you a favor. Are there rumors about my personal life going around the ICSE? Or in the press? I was wondering if you’d be willing to run a quick google search and let me know what you find.

Thank you! I hope you and Melissa are doing well.

Dianna should have been on this mission with you. You wish you could talk to her in person. You’ll have to send her a video message when you have more time. But you are interrupted in your thoughts by a knock on the door.

“Who is it?”

“Jimin.”

You hit send on the email and open the door.

“Can we talk?” he asks.

You nod and stand to one side to allow him into your pod.

He sighs and rubs the back of his neck. “So I’m confused.” He runs a hand through his hair as he steps into the pod. “Last night you were mad at me for suggesting you date Taehyung. You said you wouldn’t be passed around between crew members. But now you want to have sex with the entire crew?”

“I’m not being passed around. This is my plan. I’m in control.”

He shakes his head. “The end results seem to be the same though. I don’t understand.”

“This way we don’t have to pretend this is something it’s not. It can just be sex, just release. We don’t have to pretend it means anything more than that.”

“But it means something to me.” Jimin frowns. “I have feelings for you.”

You sigh. “They’re not real though. It’s hormones and boredom. It’s just because I’m the only woman here.”

“No it’s not!”

“Yes it is! You didn’t feel this way about me on Earth, right?”

Jimin stammers for a minute. “People can change. Relationships can change.”

“Jungkook and Taehyung didn’t have feelings for me on Earth either and now that they’ve seen me naked they’re suddenly 'in love' with me. That’s not real. That’s just biology. We’re just apes in space with too much time on our hands.”

“Jungkook’s in love with you too?”

“I don’t know. He thinks he is.”

Jimin frowns, but seems less sure of himself. “Is this because I suggested sharing? Cause that was a dumb idea and I take it back.”

“No! You were right. It’s what’s best for the mission.”

“So what? It’s like this or nothing? I have to share you to have any of you?”

You don’t answer him. Currently, no one else has actually signed, so Jimin might get you all to himself anyways.

“Am I… am I not enough?” Jimin asks. “I can be more. I can do better. I can do whatever Yoongi does that you like so much.”

“This isn’t about Yoongi. It’s about the mission.”

“You said you liked me. You said you wanted to be with me. Was that just about the mission?”

“It’s not about what I want.”

“Yeah, yeah… it's about the mission.”  

He turns to go, but you catch his hand in yours. His thumb rubs across the back of your hand. All the men are just as touch-starved as you are. It’s probably unfair that you are playing to that now.

You see an idea flash across his face right before he scoops you up into his arms, kissing you passionately. “I’m going to show you,” he whispers between kisses. “I’m going to show it's real. I’m going to be what you need. My feelings are real.”

Then he places you back down and leaves. You lean against the door breathless.

________

Mistake number one: You should not have challenged Jin to beer pong.

Mistake number two: You should not have said goodbye to your parents and dog right before going to a party full of strangers and booze.

Mistake number three: You should not have gone to find Hoseok when you are this drunk and he smells that good.

You collapse onto the couch beside Hoseok, too tired to stand up anymore. Hoseok smiles to see you, face flushed red.

“Hoseok,” you whisper, even though he’s already looking at you. “Hoseok, I have something important to tell you.”

He leans in closer. “Yeah?”

“Europa’s oceans are ninety-six kilometers deep.”

He laughs. “Of course, I know that! I wrote my graduate thesis on Europa’s oceans!”

“Yeah, but like…” You wave your hand. “That’s like soooo deep. Like not intuitive, you know? Like that’s ten times deeper than any ocean on Earth. I can’t even conceive of how deep our oceans are, let alone Europa’s.”

You scoot closer to him on the couch. “That’s like…” You pull out your phone to do some basic math. “That’s like 120 Burj Khalifas!!”

Hoseok nods. “Yes… It is super deep.”

“Stacked on top of each other!” You slap your knee in emphasis.

“Yes, I know!” He laughs again.

You sigh. “Can I tell you a secret?” You lean in closer and put a hand on his thigh. He leans in too. “There just has to be life down there. I know there has to be.”

“I hope so.” He rests his hand on yours.

“We’re going to find it together, you and I.” You grab his hand and squeeze it.

Hoseok looks down at your joined hands and you worry that maybe you’ve gone too far. Maybe tomorrow this will be an awkward and embarrassing moment. But right now it feels nice. His hand is warm. You wonder if it would be too much to lean your head on his shoulder.

But then Hoseok’s phone buzzes in his lap. His ex-girlfriend’s name flashes across the screen and you drop his hand.

“Sorry,” he mutters, getting up off the couch. “I should take this.” He leaves and the couch next you is colder.

“Hey!” Jin stumbles over to your seating area. “Have any of you guys seen Namjoon?”

“I think he went to meet that girl he won’t tell us about,” Yoongi answers from a chair a few feet away. When did Yoongi get here?

“So everyone is getting laid tonight, huh?” Jin laughs.

“Not everyone,” Yoongi mutters, nursing his beer.

“Don’t be such a grump, Yoongi. It’s basically our last night on Earth! Take advantage!” Jin laughs before wandering back into the crowd.

“I’m not getting laid tonight either!” You yell across the room at Yoongi. More direct than you would be when sober.

He cracks the first smile you’ve seen from him in days, raising his beer into the air in a little clinking motion. You do the same with your plastic cup full of what Jimin had described as “Tae’s jungle juice”. It was red and smelled like tequila.

“Why aren’t you getting laid?” you ask, taking a swig of the juice for courage.

“Got dumped, not really over it yet,” he answers matter-of-factly. “What about you?”

You shrug. “The only men here are about to be my only companions for the next twelve years. Seems like a bad plan to fuck them.”

Yoongi laughs. “Suppose so.”

“Well, don’t you worry. If that reporter is right, we’ll all be having space orgies in a month anyways.”

Yoongi chokes on his beer. “Shit.” Beer dribbles down his chin as he laughs. “I think we need to find you some ice water and a cab.”

“Probably a good plan,” you mutter as you lie down on the couch and close your eyes.

________

When you wake up in the morning, there are still no signed HR forms in your messages. Had you been a fool to think any of them were interested? How much time does it take to decide such a thing? Perhaps by putting the idea out there explicitly, it had lost all of its taboo appeal.

There are two other things waiting for you to notice though: your period and a calendar reminder that today is chili pepper pollinating day. After dealing with the first of those problems in the bathroom, you head for the lab to find Hoseok.

You find the science officer in the lab as always, sitting with his knee tucked up against his chest.

“Hey, um…” You shuffle your feet. Want to fuck me? No wait…

He blinks at you, bleary-eyed.

“Oh, you don’t look good. Were you here all night?” you ask.

“Um, was I? Yeah. I suppose. Lost track of time.” He rubs his eyes, before looking you up and down, then casting his gaze back to the floor.

All you want to do is ask about the forms. Or the meeting. Or what he thinks of you now. But you don’t.

“I need to pollinate the chili peppers today.” Usually Hoseok is the person who assists with that. “But I can get one of the other guys to do it if you need the sleep.”

“No!” Hoseok lurches forward, standing up a bit too rapidly and needing to put his hand back on the bench to steady himself. “I mean, I’m fine.”

You should disagree with him. He is exhausted. But you’d like more time to talk to him.

Pollinating the chili peppers is both time-sensitive and time-consuming, hence why it took two of you to get the job done. There were no insects on your ship to do the job for you and if the plants didn’t get pollinated, they wouldn’t bear any fruit. Chili peppers were your favorite crop. Not only a vital source of Vitamin C, but all your food benefitted from having a bit of spice added to it.

You and Hoseok head for the greenhouse together. The initial set-up gives you something to talk about in the beginning. Hoseok gathers the pollen from one flower onto a paintbrush, then hands it over to you to paint onto the stigmas of each little flower on the next plant.

Slowly the conversation dries up as you fall into a silent rhythm. Other than enjoying the chili peppers, this was also one of your favorite tasks on the ship because of the high likelihood that the two of you would brush hands periodically. It always gave you butterflies. But today he seems extra intent on keeping his distance from you. Was he disgusted by you now? His hands are trembling.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

His hand twitches so hard that a little rain of yellow pollen cascades onto the floor. He curses in frustration before turning to face you. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

"I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“This, um, plan of yours…” he gestures to the vague tension in the air. “It doesn’t feel like you.”

“I’m trying to save the mission. That has always been my top priority.”

“Yeah, I’m still not clear on how this benefits the mission.”

“I outlined it all in my presentation. Plus Yoongi said…” you start to say, but are cut off by Hoseok's derisive snort.

“Look, if you’re in love with Yoongi, go date him, okay? Don’t feel obligated to include the rest of us out of pity.”

You frown. “I’m not… I’m not in love with him. It’s just sex. Just biology.”

“This isn’t you!” Hoseok argues back. “You hated the idea of anyone ever treating you that way. And now you want all of us to… to… use you like that?”  He splutters out the end of the sentence.

“No one is using me! This is my plan!”

He sighs. “Well, I can’t be a part of it. Excuse me.” He leaves you alone in the greenhouse.

Your lower lip trembles and you bite it to stop it. He’s disgusted by you. Yoongi was wrong; Hoseok doesn’t want you. It takes you the rest of the day to finish the pollinating on your own.

_____

There are no forms waiting for you when you wake up the next morning either. Perhaps this was a mistake after all. If the men aren’t looking for release in the same way you are, then there’s no point to any of this. Even Jimin has been keeping his distance, so all you’ve done is mess up the one relationship you did have and offend your commander and colleagues.

Your tablet buzzes with a notification. It’s a reply from Dianna.

It’s great to hear from you! I hope things aren’t too crazy up there. I haven’t heard any rumors at work, but I’ve not been directly involved with your mission. We’ve started the plans for Titan and it’s taking most of my focus. I can ask around though if you want me to. I was surprised to find this article when I googled. Is this accurate? I assumed you would have said something.

Hope you are well! Melissa and I are going to send you a video of our new puppy.

Dianna

There is a pdf of a magazine article attached to the email entitled “Love Amongst the Stars”. At the top is one of the official launch photos of the whole crew that has been zoomed and cropped so that it’s only you and Jimin sitting next to each other. The tagline reads “How two astronauts had to leave Earth to find each other”. It makes you cringe so hard you have to put the tablet down for a minute before you can read on.

It’s some sort of fluff piece about a secret affair between you and the mission specialist. You scan the article, trying to figure out what they know. “A source close to the couple spoke with us...” Who is their source? You haven’t told anyone on Earth about what's going on with Jimin.

“Coworkers said they always sensed a special connection between the two…” This is nonsense. Jimin is one of the crew members you knew the least about prior to launch.

“Other crew members are very supportive…” Uh, sure.

“Maybe we’ll even get our first space wedding…” You groan out loud, closing the pdf.

Maybe that seals it then. You’ll just be space-married to Jimin for the next 12 years and that will be that. The idea makes you feel a bit claustrophobic in your tiny sleep pod, so you throw on your exercise clothes and head for the gym to try to clear your head.

_____

What you call “the gym” is actually just a bunch of resistance bands and cardio equipment stashed into the walls of one corner of the hangar. When the gravity was off, you had a variety of different choices for which equipment to use. There was a treadmill in the ceiling and an elliptical in the wall so multiple people could use the equipment in your off hours. But with the gravity on, the stationary bike on the floor is your only option.

As you begin your warm-up on the bike, you mull over your next move. Why hadn’t any of the other men come and talked to you yet? Jungkook had confessed to you, why wasn’t he signing up now? And Yoongi? Yoongi said he wanted a form only a few days ago. Why did it feel so different now?

Were you stupid? Had you embarrassed yourself in front of your entire crew for no reason? Maybe Namjoon and Hoseok were right and this was a bad plan. You pedal faster, trying to burn out some of the tension in your lungs.

The radio buzzes and Taehyung’s deep voice sounds in your in-ear. “Looking for a location for our biologist.”

“I’m in the gym,” you radio back, pausing your bike ride to catch your breath.

Moments later, Taehyung pokes his head in the door of the hangar. It’s good to see him up and about, even if his arm is still in a sling.

“Hey.” He steps into the room, adjusting his hair with his one good hand. “I need to talk to you about this, um, ape sex thing.”

Oh my gosh, is it finally happening? Maybe Jimin was right. Maybe Taehyung is more interested in you than you had realized. He fishes into his pocket and pulls out his tablet. You wish you weren’t so sweaty and gross for this conversation. Taehyung is such an intimidatingly attractive man.

Taehyung opens up the tablet and flips to the form as he walks closer to you. It’s happening. He’s going to sign the form. Shit. Then what will you do? It’s one thing to say you want to have sex with your whole crew, but what if he’s hoping to go right now? You need a shower.

Taehyung has nice hands. Long strong fingers delicately navigate the touch screen. It seems totally improbable that a man this attractive would be into you, even if you were the only woman in the universe. It adds to your suspicions that hormones are driving everyone crazy. Perhaps if you slept with him once, he’d lose all interest.

He finds the form and then turns his gaze up to you, staring you down with those eyes. It’s a good thing  Taehyung rarely turns his full gaze on you, because it is almost too much to bear. Shit, is he going to sign it? Is he waiting for you to give him some sort of signal?

“You can’t do this to Jimin,” he says.

“What?” Not what you were expecting. “Do what to Jimin?”

“This.” He gestures over the HR form. “Signing these forms with everyone. Having sex with everyone. You’re going to destroy Jimin.”

“Jimin’s the one who suggested this whole thing in the first place.” It’s a lie. You know it's a lie. Or at least a gross exaggeration. But Jimin was the one who first brought up the idea of sharing. All for the benefit of the man in front of you now.

“No way.” Taehyung scoffs, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. “No way was it Jimin’s idea that you sleep with the whole crew.”

“Well…” You can’t bear his gaze anymore and look down at the floor. “He wanted me to sleep with you.”

“What?” He puts down the tablet. “Why would he want that?”

“He, um…” You rub your arm. “He thinks you’re in love with me.”

“What?” There is only surprise on Taehyung’s face. It’s actually a relief to see that Taehyung is as shocked by that idea as you were. “Why does he think that?”

“I don’t know…” You feel kind of dumb now. Of course, Taehyung doesn’t feel that way about you. Look at him. “Cause you told him you were jealous. Cause you can’t stand to be in the same room as us.”

Taehyung bites his lip. “Oh, um, shit, sorry, that’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean?” you ask. If Taehyung wasn’t jealous of Jimin, then...“Who are you jealous of?”

“Nevermind…” Taehyung stumbles backward, putting his tablet back in his pocket. “Forget I said anything.”

“No wait,” you get up off the bike to chase after him, catching by the sleeve. As he turns around, you make a show of turning off your microphone. He does the same. “Are you jealous of me?” you ask. “Do you like Jimin?”

Taehyung’s eyes widen and he bites his lip. He glances toward the camera in the corner of the room, then stands up and begins unzipping his jumpsuit.

“Um…” You are distracted by the golden arms that peak from either side of the tank top as the zipper reaches his groin. “What are you doing?”

“Need something to block the camera.”

“We have towels,” you mutter.  But now he’s attempting to peel the tank top up over his head.

“Yeah, but this way anyone watching will think we’re having sex.” He answers. “Shit, can you give me a hand?” In his attempts to remove his shirt, he seems to have forgotten he is wearing the arm sling and is now stuck with his shirt over his head. His injured shoulder is black and blue from his accident with the ROV.

You gingerly try to disentangle him without getting too close to his warm, bare skin. You succeed in freeing him from his shirt and he tosses it up and over the camera.

“You want them to think we’re having sex?” you ask.

“Don’t you? It plays right into your whole ‘save the mission with bonobo sex’ plan.” He zips his jumpsuit back up as he turns around.

“I suppose.” Though the plan was also supposed to be that there would be no more secrets between the crew. “What plan of yours does it play into?”

“The one where Jimin doesn’t realize I’m in love with him.”

Of course, Taehyung is in love with Jimin. That makes so much more sense. They’ve been so close for so long. And Taehyung has always paid very close attention to anything going on with Jimin. “You’ve never tried to tell him?”

Taehyung laughs wryly and shakes his head. “How would that conversation go? Hey man, I know we’ve known each other for years and I’ve already seen you naked and that you just think of me as a friend, but I’m in love with you. I know that’s awkward but now you have to spend the next twelve years with me, knowing that I’m attracted to you when you don’t feel the same way.” Taehyung sighs. “Doesn’t sound like a good plan to me. If he doesn’t feel the same way, I’ve ruined the friendship for nothing and then I don’t even have that.”

“Yeah… I get that.”  There’s something touching about realizing that Taehyung has been fighting the same battle as you for the last two years.

“I couldn’t tell anyone before launch because what if they wouldn’t let me go then? You know?”

“Yeah, the director wasn’t big on sending anyone who might ‘complicate’ the mission.” The two of you share a sad knowing smile.

“Yeah… And I thought it would be fine, you know? I like women too. I’d just date women until launch and no one would know. I wasn’t planning on falling in love with my roommate.”

“I don’t think any of us knew what this would be like.”

“I knew it was going to be a problem. I should have pulled out…” he continues.

Your mind flashes back to your own moment of doubt when Hoseok talked you into still coming on the mission.

Taehyung sighs and leans against the ice drill. “But I couldn’t just let him go off into space without me. Even if he’d never feel the same way, at least he’d still be in my life.”

The emotion in Taehyung’s words makes your eyes begin to mist. “You really love him.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung sighs again. “But he’s in love with you.”

“Well, he thinks he is.”

“What does that mean?”

“He only feels that way about me cause he thinks I’m the only option.”  Maybe he would feel differently if he knew about Taehyung’s feelings.

Taehyung frowns and shakes his head. “You don’t give him enough credit.”

“Oh come on, you know him. How many women did he date while we were in training?”

“A few…”

“And how many of them was he in love with before he found the next one?”  

Taehyung purses his lips. He can’t argue with that. “So why are you with him then, if you don’t think it’s real?”

You shrug, rubbing your arm. “I like him. Lord knows he’s attractive. And he wants me. It’s nice to feel wanted, I guess.”

“You could have that with any man on this ship though...”

You scoff. “They’re all suffering the same delusion. It’s only-available-vagina syndrome. I just want us all to fuck and get it out in the open. Maybe if we could get it out of our system, they would see I’m nothing special. And then we can get back to the mission.”

Taehyung eyes you up and down. “You don’t give yourself enough credit either.”

You shrug. “You wait and see. Jimin will get bored of me. They all will.”

Taehyung pulls his tablet back out of his pocket. “Do you really think that if everyone just like, banged it out, that it would help morale?”

“Well, it certainly couldn’t get any worse.”

“And Jimin thinks I’m in love with you?” He reopens the HR form and stares at it.

You nod.

“What if I signed this? And we let him think that for a little longer? Just until I figure out how to tell him the truth?

“Like we’d pretend the two of us are involved?” Maybe that would help you get the other men on board with your plan.

Taehyung nods. “Would that be okay?”

“Yeah, that would work.”

Taehyung smiles and signs the bottom of the form, then sends it to you. “Thank you,” he says before he leaves you to resume your workout.

______

Other than Taehyung, no one else approaches you over the next few days. If anything, the crew seems to be treating you more professionally than they did before you announced your plan to fuck them all. You have signed forms from Jimin and Taehyung and have been rejected by Namjoon and Hoseok, but you’ve heard nothing either way from the other three. What are they waiting for?

By the time you reach the end of the Monday morning weekly meeting, you’ve had enough waiting.

Namjoon finishes his debrief of the week’s goals and claps his hands. “Anyone have anything else mission related we need to discuss?”

“My period is over,” you announce to your assembled crew.

A muscle pulses in Namjoon’s jaw. “Officer, I wouldn’t consider that mission-related.”

You cross your arms and lean back in your chair. “Just freely sharing information.”

“Already?” Jungkook asks. “I thought you said it would take a week.”

“No, finished this morning. It varies a bit from cycle to cycle.” you answer. Hoseok’s leg begins aggressively bouncing up and down next to you, but you press on. “I need to make a schedule. So I need to know who’s in and who’s out.”

“Ooh, what if you shared out your tracker info so we’re all on the same page.” Taehyung enthuses.

Yoongi scoffs. “Why don’t we just add it to our mission task list then?”

“I’m not clear on why menstruating means we can’t have sex,” Jimin interjects.

“Enough!” Namjoon regains everyone’s attention. “We need clear boundaries between what is personal and what is professional. Right now, you all have jobs to do. Dismissed.”

________

By the time you finish your chores for the day, you have convinced yourself that getting the rest of the team on board is essential to your successful completion of the mission. So you go in search of Yoongi.

You find him in his workshop. Pieces of an air filter are spread out on the workbench and he’s in the middle of cleaning it. You had forgotten that is the actual purpose of the workbench. So much for climbing on top of it and seducing him that way.

He looks up when you enter and you decide to cut to the chase. “I haven’t gotten your HR form yet.”

“Yeah…” He goes back to inspecting the clogged tube in front of him.

“You said you wanted to sign one with me.”

“I did say that, yes.”

“And now you don’t?” You thought if anyone was going to be supportive of the plan, it would be Yoongi.

He sets down the part he had been inspecting. “Have you really thought this through?”

“Yes!” You put your hands on your hips. “I made a whole powerpoint! With sources!!”

“I think it's a bad plan.” He picks up another long tube full of dust and threads a brush through it.

“I thought you’d be onboard with this plan. You said if I was fucking everyone, there’s no need for jealousy.”

“Yeah, well, I was wrong.” He sets the tube down and turns around to look at you directly. “ Is that really what you want?”

Why is he questioning you now? He was the one who put this whole idea in your head. He was the one who knew all your fantasies. “But you said…"

“I know what I said.” He begins pacing back and forth in front of the workbench. “But there’s a difference between a fantasy and a reality. You really want to have sex with a different man every day for 12 years on some kind of rotating daily schedule? Like how we water the crops?”

“You’re mad there’s a schedule?” You try to come closer to him, but he backs away from you, turning back to the air filter.

“Sexual desire doesn’t run on a clock, you know,” he says as he starts to pack up the equipment. “What if you’re not feeling it that day? What if they’re not?”

“I’m just trying to be fair to everyone.”

“But nobody actually gets what they want!” He throws his hands up in exasperation.

“And what do you want, Yoongi?”

He pauses, then deflates, dropping his hands to his sides. “Nevermind, forget about it.” He grabs a wet wipe off the shelf and begins cleaning the dust of his hands, not looking at you.

“No!” He’s the one who has been egging you on this whole time. “You were the one who was all ‘you have to fuck Jimin to save the mission’. You said you didn’t care if I fucked Jimin too. What do you want from me, Min Yoongi?”

“I’m going to go get some dinner.” He mutters, throwing the dirty wipe in the trash and turning to leave.

Oh no. He’s not going to escape you that easily. You need some straight answers. “You started all this, Yoongi! You said every man on this ship wanted to fuck me and none of them do! What was that?” You follow him down the hall toward the kitchen.

He stops and turns around in the middle of the hall. “This isn’t all on me! You made choices too!”

“Because of what I thought you wanted!” you yell back. “What is your deal? First you want me to fuck you, then you dont. Then you want me to fuck everyone and then you don’t. What do you want from me?” Your voice is echoing down the hallway but you are way past caring about it.

Yoongi opens and closes his mouth, then spins back around and heads for the kitchen, with you trailing behind him.

Jungkook is sitting at the kitchen table with a bowl of ramen. He looks up, startled as the two of you barge in.

“And what about you?” You fire the question at your youngest crew member. “Don’t you want to fuck me?”

The poor boy nearly chokes on his noodles. “I, um…” He swallows, wide eyes glancing between you and Yoongi.

You lean against the table next to Jungkook as Yoongi steps around the two of you to head for the pantry, but you see his fist clench as he walks by. You lean closer to Jungkook. “Didn’t you enjoy my video? Don’t you want to see the real thing?”

“Uh...” Jungkook glances at Yoongi again. “Maybe the two of you should talk this out…”

Yoongi’s hands tremble, but he doesn’t turn around, intent on starting the rice cooker. You turn your focus to Jungkook instead. “This isn’t about him. Whatever the flight engineer wants to do is up to him. He knows where I stand. This is about you and I.”  You are going to get a man on this ship to fuck you. Today.

“It’s not like I’m not interested…” Jungkook’s knee bounces up and down rapidly as he watches you. “But I told you I was in love with you and you literally had a panic attack.”

Oh right. That was back when you thought you still had a shot of stopping all this. Before half your crew had seen you naked. Before all of them had heard you having sex. Before you’d announced that you wanted all of them to fuck you. But you can still control this, if you can get them onboard with your plan.

Your tablet buzzes in your pocket. You pull it out to give yourself a moment to think. There’s a message from Jin.

Hey, come find me when you get this and we can talk. I’ll be in the kitchen.

You brace yourself for yet another rejection note. But you click on the attachment to instead find your HR form, Kim Seokjin’s signature scrawled right next to yours.

Holy shit. He signed it. Under no false pretenses. What do you do now?

“What is it?” Jungkook asks.  

But then Jin appears in the doorway. He startles when he sees you. “Oh! I thought you’d still be on shift.”

You shake your head. “You signed the form.”

“What? He did?” Jungkook asks.

“Oh, um, yeah,” Jin answers, laughing nervously. “That’s what you wanted right?”

“Yes, that’s what I wanted.” You stand up and move closer to your pilot. Jungkook crosses his arms. Yoongi finally turns around to observe the three of you.

Jin. Jin with his broad-shoulders and plump lips. Your friend. Your very handsome friend. He’s going to help you save the mission.

“You’re the first one I’ve gotten, so you can go first.”

“Wait, what?” Jin stammers. “But you and the commander?”

You shake your head. “He didn’t sign.”

“You and Taehyung though? I saw him take off his shirt and then cover the camera.”

“Oh right… sorry… I guess you’re the second one. But Tae’s still on shift.”

“Don’t forget about Jimin.” Yoongi helpfully chimes in.

Jin takes a step backward. “But I thought for sure these two…” He gestures at the other two men in the kitchen.

“Nope,” you move toward him. “Not yet.” You suddenly see a way to get them all on board at once.

“Oh, well, um...” His ears are bright red. “Maybe we can talk more about this after dinner?”

“That’s one option…” You lick your lips and find the top of your zipper with your hand, blushing as the next part of your plan unfolds in your mind. “Or you could fuck me now.”

“What?”

“Holy shit.” Jungkook mutters beside you.

Jin dives around you, moving toward the other side of the kitchen. “There are people eating here!”

“Nothing they haven’t seen before.” You begin unzipping your jumpsuit in what you hope is a seductive manner, rolling your hips as you follow him across the kitchen. You have both Jungkook and Yoongi’s rapt attention.

You take a cue from Taehyung and peel off your tank top, throwing it over the camera behind you, leaving you in a bra and the bottom half of your jumpsuit. “Though if these two are going to stay and watch, they better sign the forms as well.”

“Stay and watch?” Jin swallows, hands clenched at his sides.

You grab the waist of your jumpsuit, teasing it down just slightly as you make direct eye contact with Jungkook and then Yoongi. “What do you think boys? In or out?”

Jungkook lunges for his tablet. A satisfying ping on your own tablet confirms that this plan is working. Yoongi just crosses his arms and leans back against the counter.

You drop the jumpsuit, leaving you in nothing but your bra and underwear. You prop yourself up on the kitchen table next to Jungkook’s now cold bowl of ramen.

“What are you doing?” Jin asks, whole face beginning to turn red.

“Look…” You shimmy out of your bra straps so that your bra is only held in place by your hand. “I’m going to need you to fuck me right here on this table, Kim Seokjin. For the good of the mission.”

“Why does putting your bare ass on the surface where we eat help the mission?!”

“No more secrets. No more jealousy. Everything will be out in the open. Like the bonobos do.”

Your fingers tease at the clasp of your bra. All three men stare at you. You lock eyes with Yoongi, daring him to look away. Implement with full commitment. You drop your bra to the floor.

“Stop, stop!” Jin moves toward you as you slide your fingers into the band of your underwear. “Just hang on for one second.” He picks up your jumpsuit from the floor and comes closer, draping it around your shoulders in an attempt to cover you. “Look at me.” He grasps your chin and turns your gaze to meet his. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

You lick your lips. “Yes.”

He kisses you, hard. It’s aggressive, urgent even. His hands are on your shoulders, then sliding down your back, pulling you toward him. Your eyes close as you momentarily lose yourself in it. Despite you begging him for it, it still surprises you how insistent he is. His hands keep sliding down your back, until they reach your buttocks, running over the thin cotton of your underwear and scooping you into his arms. You wrap your arms around his shoulders for balance, and then he is lifting off the table.

He breaks out of the kiss to pick you up even higher and then proceeds to throw you over his shoulder.

“Jin! What are you doing?” You kick your feet into the air.

“I am a man, not an ape,” he says, picking up your jumpsuit and bra and tossing them over his other shoulder.  “And if I’m going to fuck you, it’s going to be in the privacy of my own sleep pod, where the only man enjoying it is me.”

He hauls you ass first out into the hallway, with Jungkook and Yoongi both watching wide-eyed as you are carried away.

“I can walk,” you argue as Jin turns for the sleep pods.

“Nope,” replies Jin, readjusting you on his shoulder before carrying you down the hall.

As you reach the junction to the bridge, your ass runs into something warm and firm.

“What the-” says Namjoon. Your whole body flushes hot as you realize you’ve run butt-first into your commanding officer.

“Shit, sorry commander.” Jin laughs. “Excuse us,” Jin says and continues down the hallway, not setting you down or stopping.

Namjoon has pressed himself up against the wall with his hands in the air, a look of shock on his face. He looks like he is about to say something, but then Jin reaches his sleep pod and sets you down inside and you can’t see the commander anymore.

“Well, that was the best thing that has happened in a long time.” Jin chuckles as he closes the door. “The looks on Namjoon’s and Jungkook’s faces will power me for a year. You okay?” he asks, handing your bra and jumpsuit. “For the record, I’m not expecting anything else to happen here.”

“You don’t want to do anything else?” You hold up your jumpsuit to cover yourself, more disappointed than you would like to admit.

Jin eyes you up and down. “I mean… I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested, but that wasn’t my intention in bringing you here.”

“You hauled me half-naked to your bedroom and your intention wasn’t to have sex?”

“I know, I am such a gentleman, aren’t I?” He laughs, then shrugs. “Seemed like maybe you needed an out. Things were getting kind of crazy back there.”

“But you signed the form? Doesn’t that imply a sexual relationship?”

“I guess I’m not really a ‘sex in front of two other men before we’ve even been on a date’ kind of guy.”

“How about a ‘sex in the sleep pods’ kind of guy?”

“Are you even actually interested in me?” Jin asks, getting more serious. “Because none of what happened in the kitchen felt like it was about me. I don’t want to be some pawn in your plot to make Yoongi jealous.”

“It’s not about Yoongi!” You groan. “Why does everyone think this is about Yoongi?”

“Have you seen the two of you interact recently? There are some seriously repressed feelings going on there.”

You bang your head into the door of the sleep pod in frustration, before looking up at him. “You’re a very attractive man. Maybe I have feelings for you?”

He sighs. “Yeah, but you don’t. You can’t swap us out for each other.”

Shit. The way you’ve been treating the men is exactly how you feared they would treat you. While you fear being wanted because you’re the only woman, you’ve made all the men on the ship feel as though you think them interchangeable simply because they’re men.

“It never occurred to me that any of you would have real feelings for me.”

“Well, you are very dumb.”

“Hey…” You hit him gently on the chest. He catches your hand in his.

“Amazing they would trust such a crucial mission to someone who is so very stupid,” he teases, still holding your hand.

“I’m not this stupid about mission related stuff, just all this relationship crap.” You laugh softly.

“So tragic. Someone with so much training ought to have better sense.”

He squeezes your hand and you look into his eyes again. He smiles a soft reassuring smile and for the first time in weeks, you feel like maybe everything will be okay again at some point in the future.

“You’re a good man, Kim Seokjin.”

“Best man on the ship.” He chuckles.

“Kiss me again.”

He arches his eyebrows. “Why?”

“Because I want you to.”

“Are you sure?”

“Look there’s no one else here right? This is only about you. I want you.”

He kisses you again, tenderly this time. His warm arms wrap around and you realize you’re still naked except for your underwear. You curl into his embrace. He smells good, warm and manly, like good cologne. You run your hands over his muscular shoulders that you can feel through his clothes. It’s slow and leisurely, like you’re savoring each other.

“You sure you’re not a ‘sex in the sleep pods’ kind of guy?” You tease as you slide your thigh in between his legs and feel his erection pressing against you.

He groans, resting his head on your shoulder as you grind against him. “I’d like to think of myself as more of a ‘sex in the sleep pods after the third date’ kind of guy.”

You pause and look up at him surprised. “You want to go on a date?”

He nods. “At least three of them, in fact.”

You smile. “That would be nice. I’d like that.”

He kisses you behind your ear. “So are Mondays my day then? Can I take you on a date next Monday?”

You gasp as he rolls his hips against you, the heat of him seeping through his clothes. “That’s a long time to wait, especially if you’re going to make me wait through three of them.”

“I’m sure we can find other ways to entertain ourselves.” He cups your naked breast in his hand, massaging gently.

“Is there anything in particular you want to do today?” You palm his erection through his pants and he gasps.

“Stop that, you temptress…” He grits his teeth. “I’m trying to be a gentleman.”

“Aww, come on, there must be something I can do for you.”

“Well…” He bites his lip. “I will admit that I am awfully curious what was on that video that got five of my crew members suspended.”

“I could show you.” You start to shimmy down your underwear. “But there was no touching in the video.”

He kisses you one last time on the cheek, before pulling away and pressing himself into the opposite wall of the sleep pod. “Okay, show me. I’ll be good.” He puts his hands up by his head in mock innocence.

You finish removing your underwear, spreading your legs apart as best you can. You trail a hand down between your legs, finding yourself wet already. “It was me masturbating.” You tease around your clit without touching it directly.

He groans, hips kicking forward as he stays up against the wall. “Show me.”

“Well, first I took my fingers and sucked on them.” You narrate your actions as you wet your fingers. “Then I touched my nipples.” Your nipples harden before you’ve even touched them, but you continue to tease them for his benefit.

His eyes dart back and forth between your face, your breasts, and your spread legs, as if he can’t decide where he wants to look first. He licks his lips like a man starving. “Keep going.”

“I’m very wet.” You continue your narration as he clenches his fists. You run your fingers through your wet folds, then hold them up to show him. His hips buck again as he groans, still fully dressed and pressed to the wall. “And then I touched my clitoris.” It’s your turn to moan as you finally touch your swollen pleasure center, stroking slowly and keeping your eyes fixed on Jin.

“Goddamn…” He drops to his knees, hands resting at his sides, eyes fixed on your hand as it strokes around your clit.

“Do you wish it was your fingers right now, instead of mine?” you ask.

He nods, tongue darting out of the corner of his mouth. He begins inching toward you on his knees. “Do you think… maybe…?”

“I thought we said no touching,” you tease when he gets to your feet, his head level with your hand, eyes fixed on your wet cunt as you continue to touch yourself.

“I just…” His eyes flick up to meet yours. “I want to smell you.” A pulse of arousal rocks through you at how eager he is. You nod. He moves his nose right over your pubic mound and inhales a long slow savoring breath, tickling your hairs.

“Ah…” He releases a long, loud satisfied moan. His knuckles turn white, but his face is relaxed. “You smell amazing.” He inches even closer, just millimeters separating you from his face and inhales again.

“Oh shit.” You feel the pleasure skyrocketing as your orgasm catches you off guard. You grab him by the back of the head to stabilize yourself and his nose bumps firmly against your clit.

He groans again, loudly right against you as he grinds his nose into you, letting you ride his face as your orgasm washes over you. You thread your fingers through his hair to hold him in place. He wraps his hands around the back of your thighs to press himself into you harder. You cry out as waves of muscle contraction course through you over and over.

“Fuck…” you both say in unison as you collapse back against the door. Your eyes meet and you both start laughing. He places a light kiss right below your belly button before he gets up.

“Well, I see why that was worth getting suspended for,” he says, unzipping his jumpsuit and using the bottom of his shirt to wipe his face.

“And you didn’t even come yet.” You slide your underwear back up, wondering if he would consider a blowjob to be a step too far before your first date.

“Um, actually…” he gestures down at his crotch and the new wet spot you find there makes your pelvic muscles clench.

“You came in your pants? Over me?”

Jin laughs. “God, you have no idea how sexy you are, do you?” He picks up your clothing off the floor, before kissing you softly on the forehead. “I will have a hard time waiting for Monday.”

“Me too.” You mutter and get a sudden sinking feeling. You don’t want this to be over right now. You want to stay here with him, to cuddle and be held by him, but you have made this very clear to everyone involved that these dalliances are not relationships. It’s just sex. And now the sex is over. Until next week.

You slip back into your clothes and give him one last kiss. You tablet pings as you head out into the hallway and you fish it out of your pocket.

Yoongi: Okay, I’m in.

Below his message is his signed HR form. A swell of smug satisfaction makes you smile as you cross the hall and climb into your own pod. You open up a group message for the five men whose signed forms you now have in your possession and type out the following:

Mondays: Jin

Tuesdays: Jungkook

Wednesdays: Taehyung

Thursdays: Jimin

Fridays: Yoongi

“Saturday and Sunday to be determined,” you whisper to yourself as you hit send.

____

Next part

[rionah]

UN-CRUSHING 101!——————————————Teaser!

PAIRING: Yang Jungwon x Fem! Reader

SYNOPSIS:

It’s only a few more months till senior year, catching feelings this time around is far too troublesome! Your only main objective is to get pass the next school year without a hitch. Easy, right? That is, till the class president who sat behind you during class starts assulting your stomach with butterflies.

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“Hey, do you know how to solve problem 2.4?”

The boy seated from behind you asked, a friendly smile plastered across his face as he rested his chin on the palm of his hand.

For a second, you were confused. You’ve never talked to Yang Jungwon since forever despite being in the same class since the start of freshman year. Okay, maybe ‘never talked’ is a bit of an exaggeration, you’ve shared greetings with him but nothing beyond that, maybe you were overthinking things as per usual. He always was the first to approach you during your small interactions.

Awkwardly rubbing your nape, you flipped your notebook to one of the highlighted pages.

“Um, yes. All you have to do is find the value of x first and then solve the equation of the given.”

You could’ve sworn that the corner of his lips twitched upwards, his smile stretching even more. The guy was smiling so hard that it was kinda scaring you.

He rose one of his eyebrows and pouted, his eyes scanning the question for awhile before raising his head up to look at you.

“Im still kinda confused, could you show me how you do it?”

Nodding your head in reply, you turned your seat to face his, taking a piece of paper from your bag before writing up an example problem.

It didn’t take long for you to show him how to solve the equation, once you finished you clicked your pen and raised your head up at him.

“That’s pretty much all you need to know.”

You couldn’t help but notice how hard he was smiling, his already bright eyes glimmered even more, you tilted your head at him in confusion. Is this all it takes to get him so happy?

He nodded his head at you and happily stuffed the paper with the example you wrote inside his bag, the smile on his face never faltering. You think that his cheeks must hurt from smiling too much.

“Thanks alot Y/N, i’ll get you banana bread as a thank you.”

“Oh no you don’t have to-”

He quickly exited the classroom before you could finish your statement, honestly it almost looked like he was skipping. You could see him run towards two men and tackle a tall figure who spewed out complaints. Almost giggling as he did so.

But all you could think about at that moment was

‘How’d he know i like banana bread?’

———

This went once a day in every week, and it essentially became a routine. You found yourself waiting for him to tap you on the shoulder and ask about the current lesson. Where you’d give him a quick explanation as the smile on his face grew bit by bit throughout you explaining.

It was like there was a voice at the back of your head just repeating ‘when is he gonna ask?’ over and over again, patiently waiting for the boy and eagerly anticipating his small action of asking you for help at the end of every class.

Perhaps it was because you’ve grown so accustomed to him asking you for help, that you started feeling almost excited whenever he did. A giddy feeling that started brewing inside of your chest every class session in the anticipation for his question.

However, this week’s monday he didn’t tap you on the shoulder, neither did he on tuesday and wednesday. You resisted the urge to turn your head towards him during thursday as he got up to leave the classroom without saying a word to you. For whatever reason, an uncomfortable feeling started settling at the pit of your stomach. But it doesn’t matter, surely he’ll ask you for help on friday.

The next day at school, friday, the last day of this week. You were occupied with the thought of whether or not Jungwon was gonna ask you a question about todays lesson, it practically was your only main focus today. However, he still didn’t say anything during first period, second period, or third period. Now you were at your seat anxiously waiting for him to tap you on the shoulder during the last period.

All you could think about was whether or not he was gonna ask you for help, that at this point you couldn’t even pay attention to the lesson. You probably couldn’t even answer his question even if he did ask you now.

You look at the clock, the heavy feeling at the pit of your stomach grew heavier and heavier as time went on. Class is about to end and you’re at the brink of your seat, waiting and waiting for him to ask you the question.

“Class is dismissed for today, make sure to do your work on page 73.”

Chatter errupts from the classroom and you find yourself holding your breath, your hands gripping on to the hem of your skirt as you close your eyes in anticipation and anxiety.

You hear shuffling from behind where jungwon is seated and for whatever reason your heart started palpating, anxiety and excitement having a battle from within your chest.

But much to your dismay, you heard him toss his bag over his shoulder and get up to exit the classroom. This time, you couldn’t help but snap your head towards his empty seat, eyes trailing his figure as he walked towards the classroom door where you could see him meet up with his friends in the hall way.

———

You laid flat on your bed staring at the ceiling of your bedroom, you’ve been disappointed ever since you got home from school. A groan escaped from your lips as you toss and turned, facing face flat on to a pillow and sighing.

For whatever reason you started feeling uncomfortable because he didn’t ask you for help this week, but isn’t it a good thing? It just meant that he was able to understand the material and didn’t need your help anymore.

That thought made you,, upset..? almost? You shake your head at even thinking you were upset about it. That’s silly, you have no reason to be upset. But if so, why do you feel so uncomfortable because of it?

You catch yourself thinking about how wide the smile on his face gets and how his eyes just shimmer everytime he asked you, was it because you… miss seeing it?

You shake your head at the idea, concluding that this was silly and thinking of ways to get yourself busy.

Opening your textbook to do the task your teacher gave you, eyes widening in realization that you didn’t know shit about the current lesson. Your mind was so occupied with jungwon this whole week that you completely forgot to pay attention to class.

Groaning into the palm of your hand you let out at annoyed huff.

Yang Jungwon could cause you this much trouble by not asking you for help once this week, he is quite troublesome.

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>>MASTERLIST<< NEXT>>

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TAGLIST: @hiqhkey

[spencersawkward]

switchblade faith//spencer reid - chapter 8

summary: one month after joining the BAU, Clea is still settling in. between solving murders and getting acclimated to DC, the only comfortable thing in her life is her friendship with Dr. Spencer Reid.

pairing: Fem!OC/Spencer

word count: 3.9k

content warnings: discussion of a dead body (for a case), discussion of sensory overload (idk if that's a warning but just in case).

A/N: sorry this took so long! i've had a lot of writer's block with this series, but i'm feeling a lot more motivated with it, now. anyway enjoy!

masterlist

my feet slam into the pavement at a rate that makes me wonder if my heart can take it. I can feel the air in my lungs, stinging, and the way it never seems like enough. I can't stop. my arms are pumping and my legs burn.

I'm sure I look like a mess right now, exhausted and sweaty as I make my way up the biggest hill by my apartment. I haven't been running in a while, and this incline is even more daunting than it was before.

I use the momentum I've built from before now and force myself up. every breath rips through me violently until I'm sure that if I stop running, I'll collapse. but I keep pushing, knowing it'll be worth it.

I hated running until college. just absolutely despised the thought of getting outside and forcing myself to move quickly. the older I get, though, the more refreshing it's gotten. it helped me escape from midterms, from the pressure that constantly seemed to mount with every passing day. sometimes it feels like all of it keeps piling on, and it's never going to stop.

of course, that's not really the way to look at life. I've had things to balance out the work, friends to call and ways to let out the hammering violence that always seem to fill the spaces between my ribs. running clears my head when nothing else does.

once I get to the top, I bend over and rest my palms on my knees so that I can relax. I can hear my heart beating in my ears and can feel my pulse thudding against my throat. it's good, though. I needed to do this again, to get exercise.

I resist the urge to lay down flat on the pavement. DC isn't really a good place to do that; everyone around me is on a morning stroll with their partner or they're out for a jog themselves. I pass several enthusiastic-looking dogs out for a walk. the sheer number of people around me should make me feel normal.

it doesn't.

I straighten and stretch out my muscles, wincing at the way my calves feel if I move them funny. I don’t want to get called in for a case today, but that's naive. there will always be another case because there will always be people we need to stop. maybe I'm just not jaded enough to not care. I like to think that's a good thing, though.

...

when I head into the office a couple hours later, there's a to-go cup of coffee resting on my desk. I smile to myself, set my bag down and shrug off my coat, then peek over the divider to see Spencer with a case file open and an identical to-go cup a couple inches away.

"is this your doing?" I refer to the coffee. he nods and smiles at me, seemingly not in the mood to talk.

"thanks, Reid."

sitting down to do some work, I sneak a peek at him. Spencer is acting different from last weekend. more shy. I'm not really sure the reason, unless he just felt particularly outgoing at the party and is now back to his default self.

we get a case before the hour is up, and then my mind is occupied by the details.

jet rides, though now a familiar routine, are probably my favorite part of the job. I don't feel totally unproductive, but I still have time to unwind and talk to people on our way. Emily and I have gotten much closer within the past few weeks and sometimes she tells me stories about her old job that keep me on the edge of my seat.

there's something so mysterious about her that I just appreciate; she's like a cool older cousin to me. and she's great at making fun of Morgan, which is something that I've found enjoyable as well. sometimes he needs to be knocked down a peg-- she's the woman to do it.

"how many?" I trace my finger down the smooth skin of Derek's arm, where he's lifted his sleeve just enough to show the inked lion. it's a big tattoo, and I'm somewhat surprised he has one at all. he just doesn't really seem the type.

"five right now." he flexes his bicep flirtatiously, and I immediately remove my hand with a repulsed expression, rolling my eyes at the chuckle he lets out.

"don't feed his ego like that." Emily warns from across the table. she's flipping through one of the plant magazines that we've stashed in the snack cupboards (much to Hotch's disapproval). I turn to see Morgan's reaction.

"you a little jealous, Prentiss?" he teases. her only response is a glance that dares him to push further. they both know that Emily has absolutely no interest in him, which I suppose adds to their friendship. Morgan leans down by my ear, but he makes no effort to quiet his voice. "you should ask about her tattoos."

"you have tattoos?" my eyes widen at this, voice a little louder than usual. Hotch glances over at us from his seat a ways away, but doesn't say anything. Reid is passed out on the couch, strangely tired for the middle of the day; Rossi's writing something in his miniature journal.

"that's not anyone's business." she says more to Morgan than to me.

"I wanna see!" I set my glass of ice water down on the table and straighten up. Emily pretends to be exhausted by the persistence, but she closes her magazine momentarily.

"look, I can't show them all here." she raises a suggestive eyebrow.

"then how does Derek know?" I smirk. Emily makes a face, but Morgan is the one who replies.

"this one gets a little loose-lipped when she drinks too much." he teases. I snort and glance at Emily. I've seen her tipsy before, but never drunk. at most, she gets affectionate with all of us and calls us her best friends in the whole world. which, honestly, isn't an unwelcome sentiment.

"I do not." she argues.

"yeah, you do." Reid mumbles from the couch cushion where he's been resting his head. I jump at the sudden noise, and we all turn to him.

"look who's up." Emily smiles. Reid stretches his legs out, limbs so long that his feet hang off the end of the couch. he's wearing mismatched socks again today, one with bananas and one covered in sushi rolls. I smile to myself.

"I'm not," he argues. "someone had to correct you."

Morgan and I let out an amused laugh. my eyes dart between Spencer and the two other agents. "I feel like I'm the only one here who hasn't seen Prentiss drunk."

"yes, you have." she frowns.

"no. not, like, plastered."

"don't let Garcia hear you say that." Morgan laughs. I snort.

"why?"

"any excuse to party, and she'll take it." he shakes his head affectionately.

"she'd just call it bonding." Prentiss adds in. I have a soft spot in my heart for Pen. for all of the darkness we see here, she makes it a little bit brighter with her quips and sparkly pens and neon glasses. she's a blessing.

"what's so bad about that?" I defend for her sake.

"nothing's wrong with it, per se," Emily shrugs. "it just means we aren't as professional as we should be."

"I'd argue that our job actually means we get to let loose more when we have the time." I shrug. Morgan offers his fist to pound, and I oblige with a satisfied smile.

"you two are children, you know that?" Emily gestures between Derek and me. I shrug, about to return to my crossword when she speaks again. "how many tattoos do you have, Clea?"

I blink for a second, deciding whether or not to lie. it would be kind of cool to sound badass, but I don't know if I even have the mental capability to fib to a bunch of profilers. "none."

"what?" Morgan looks at me with confusion.

"yeah, none. why is that such a big surprise?" I laugh at their reactions. Prentiss is alarmed, too.

"I don't know-- you seem like the kind of person to get a heart tattooed on your thigh or something." Morgan shrugs. I make a face, silent.

"that's offensive."

Prentiss snorts and finishes her drink. I peek over and see Reid with his eyes closed but a slightly amused smile on his face. by the couch, I can see through the window. we're slipping through gray clouds that are saturated with rain, and the weather change causes the jet to shake a bit.

my fingertips wrap around the arm of the seat and Emily eyes me warily.

"you okay?"

"don't like flying." I answer, nostrils flaring slightly. usually with these trips, I've been able to hide my apprehension for flying by holding onto my knee below the table or something, but the sudden jerks are putting me off.

it's stupid-- plane anxiety is ridiculously common, and I don't think it's necessarily unwarranted. the problem is that to a bunch of people trained in behavioral analysis, it shows a blatant fear of not having control.

which is true, but it's not like I need that plastered all over my face every time we board a flight.

"would you get a tattoo if you could?" Emily changes the subject, thankfully, and I bite down on my bottom lip.

"I think so, yeah." it's said without much thought; all that's on my mind right now is wondering what our ETA is. Morgan shifts in his seat to smirk.

"really."

"sure."

he nods appreciatively before turning to look back out the window. droplets of moisture are collecting there, but they only distort the image of Portland stretched out below. the water is steel gray and rippled with wind.

I've never been here. for some reason, I find myself wondering what it smells like. that mingling of city scent and ocean, if they meet in the middle to form their own distinct identity. if it will settle on my tongue and in my clothes.

it's funny to me that when I go to different places and return, I don't notice how different it all smells until I breathe it in through the fabric of my shirts, and from there it all comes rushing back. Spencer mentioned during a case once that scent creates the most powerful memory reaction out of all our senses-- and I believe it.

DC smells like humidity and rain-slicked streets, Montana like dust. even the jet has a particular one that I don't associate with anything right now, but I know I will in the future. like I'm standing in the formation of a memory.

half-baked.

...

we've got the hoods of our raincoats up as we make our way into the office of our latest victim. Morgan holds the door and I wander in, staring up at the enormous glass walls of the place. a stray droplet falls from the hood of my jacket and onto my nose, rolling down the bridge and causing me to sniffle.

her boss is surprisingly dismissive of us when we get to his office, reluctantly getting off a phone call and giving me something of a dead-fish handshake. as we take a seat at his desk, I can smell the overbearing stench of his expensive cologne.

he's got exactly the kind of look that I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole: taut, judgmental face with a stiff mustache and slicked-back black hair that honestly is probably dyed. his eyes linger on me for a bit longer than I appreciate, but I clear my throat and try to brush off the discomfort.

Winona's body was found in a ditch off the side of a highway, dumped like trash. based on the ME report, she was alive when he threw her in, but died shortly after from her wounds. the whole thing is gruesome and as her employer notes her tendency to daydream and occasional tardiness, I want to reach across the table to smack him.

Morgan is able to keep his cool better than I can, nodding. I know it's important to know her behaviors in order to build our profile, but I still don't like the way this guy is talking about her.

"she wasn't really the strongest employee we've got, but she was nice enough around the office." he shrugs. I notice the gold wedding band that glints on his ring finger, the way he leans back in his swivel chair. he's got evaluative eyes.

by the time we're done, I'm practically flying out the door of his office and hurrying to the elevator. we got what we needed to know from him, if not through a somewhat convoluted method.

"nice guy." I note sarcastically after punching the down button. Morgan tucks his hands into his jeans pockets and looks at our warped reflections in the elevator doors.

"we talk to a lot of people like that. you get used to it."

"didn't seem too concerned about her at all."

"I don't think guys like that are concerned about much more than themselves."

"you should have mentioned a tax evasion investigation happening around here," I smirk. "that would probably put the fear of God into him."

Morgan chuckles and looks over at me. it would be unprofessional to fist bump with so many people around, although the smile we share is definitely a great equivalent.

as we pack into the metal box with a bunch of employees, they look at us curiously. the enormous FBI label on the back of our jackets probably doesn't help, but I pretend to look like I know what I'm doing as we step out into the lobby.

in all reality, faking it until I make it is the only thing I know how to do.

...

the late night cravings come as a surprise as I stand over a map of Portland. my eyes are starting to cross from staring at all the minuscule details for so long, and my fingers are twitching from a mixture of hunger and overloaded caffeine.

we were supposed to go to bed about two hours ago, but I know for a fact that I'm not the only one sitting in my motel room with open files and a determined expression. I do happen to be the only person rooming alone, however, and the silence has been helpful.

Reid's been working on a geographic profile, but there's something missing. I'm not sure what it is. all I know is that if I don't figure it out soon, it's going to eat away at me. based on his activity patterns, there are only a few more days before this guy abducts another woman.

except now I'm just thinking about how much time we don't have, and that sort of sends me into a spiral, too. I'm prepared to always be running against a clock for this job, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I'm going to lose it if I stare at any more tiny lines indicating roads or side streets or whatever else demands attention.

I need to get out of my head.

before taking time to really consider anything else, I grab my phone and look up pizza places nearby. what I need right now is some sustenance and tv-- or at least something to distract me enough to recharge.

I change into my pjs and wash my face while I wait for the delivery person to arrive, try to ease the day out of my bones. there used to be a whole process for me after work every day, where I'd shut off my brain. The Real Housewives of Atlanta provided ample help for this, along with fuzzy socks and glasses of red wine. I can make do with this.

once the pizza guy comes and I pay for my food, I don't even make way to my room; instead, I go to the person I know who needs this more than I do.

"Clea?" Spencer rubs his eyes as he swings open the door, glasses held in the other hand.

"hi." I smile brightly.

"what are you doing here?" his soft tone and the dim light from a motel lamp in the corner tells me that Morgan is asleep right now in the other bed.

in response to his question, I hold up the box of pizza with a grin. his eyes widen.

"I can't eat all this alone." definitely a lie, but saying that he needs to take a break probably wouldn't sway him enough.

for a second, Spencer seems to debate this in his head. when he runs a shaky hand through his hair, I roll my eyes. "it's pizza, dude. not a wedding proposal. you can go back to the case in twenty minutes."

he nods this time and looks up at me as I turn and start toward my room. closing the door gently behind him, I don't miss the way he increases his pace a little to catch up with me.

"did you get mushrooms?" he asks. I throw him a disgusted look before realizing what he's talking about and breaking into a grin.

"you remembered!" I reference my hatred of the fungus. Spencer smiles with pride, turns his gaze to the carpeted floors. I unlock the door and let us in.

"of course I remember," he snorts. "it's hard to forget."

I giggle at the way he immediately uses the sink to wash his hands, and I join him after setting the box on the bed.

"favorite soap scent?" I ask absently. suds cover my fingers as he rinses the water from his. normally, this isn't a question I'd ask, but Spencer seems like he would have a response.

"you know, I really enjoy anything fresh-smelling," he thinks about it. "like waterfall smell."

"I like those, too."

"what's your favorite?"

"there's this brand that I love that specializes in antibacterial soaps, and they have a lavender one that literally makes me ascend." I laugh. Spencer is drying his hands with a folded towel and his face lights up.

"Ravi's Organics?" he suggests. my heart leaps with recognition.

"yes! oh my god, have you used their cracked cinnamon one?"

"I have the hand sanitizer in my bag." Reid's eyes are so pretty. they sparkle with a hazel color, almost chocolatey in the cheap motel light.

"they have a hand sanitizer for it?" my jaw drops. he nods and I shake my head slowly. we walk over to the bed to eat the pizza. he seems hesitant, though, and pauses.

it takes me a second to remember that Spencer has different boundaries and is just kind of awkward in general. even though there's no obvious tension between us, I don't want to make him uncomfortable, so I plop down on the floor.

"you like Ravi's Organics." he states it back to himself more than to me, and as I pop open the box to reveal a beautiful pepperoni pizza, I nod vigorously.

"yeah, it's actually kind of a funny story," we start to dig in immediately. I lift an enormous slice to my lips and bite into the perfection. it's so good. "when I was little, my parents used to call me Rascal."

"Rascal?" he laughs through a bite of food.

"like the raccoon? from that book?" it's a kid's story.

"why?" he snorts. I take a second to chew before replying.

"I just get really overwhelmed by certain sensory things-- like, I hate being sticky or having any kind of weird texture on my hands. so whenever we went out to eat or anything, I would always sit on the outside of the booth so I could run to the bathroom and wash my hands as I pleased." I explain all of this with a slight frown on my face. it's true, I've just never really thought about it.

"I don't like sticky stuff, either." he offers.

"yeah, it got pretty bad. but I guess I just grew out of it. I'm not sure when." I pluck a piece of pepperoni off the top and slide it into my mouth.

Spencer takes in this information for a second while he eats, and I'm momentarily worried that I've overshared. he came for some food and now I've served up a weird childhood memory to accompany it.

but then he does something funny and altogether endearing.

"actually, raccoons are very cleanly creatures, despite their dietary habits." he tells me.

frankly, it makes me feel better than anything else that he could have said. "fastidious little things, right?"

"exactly." he chuckles. his shoulders are hunched, elbows leaning on his knees.

"fix your posture." I say gently, noticing the way his spine curves abysmally when he's sitting across from me. his cheeks turn a pretty pink, but he follows directions.

"is it that bad?" he's a bit embarrassed. immediately, I soften and do what comes easily, making a joke.

"if you don't work on it, you're gonna be living in a French cathedral by the age of thirty."

Spencer snorts-- genuinely almost chokes on his food-- and looks at me with his almost childlike eyes. there's something in them that I can't decipher at all, almost so obvious that it completely goes over my head.

"that was mean." he's still trying to recover from the onset of giggles, and I lean forward to grab another slice, suppressing a proud grin myself.

"your future straight-backed self will thank me."

"I'll remember that." he nods dutifully.

"I'm sure you will."

we share a secretive smile before I bite into my pizza and launch into a different subject. the more I learn about Spencer, the more I want to know. I feel like there are things beneath every new surface that would be fascinating to understand.

"what's it like having an eidetic memory?"

he frowns like he isn't sure how to answer. I thought he'd already have something locked and loaded, a prepared response for a question he definitely gets frequently. when he opens his mouth, I find myself hanging on every word. "it's... interesting."

"blessing or a curse?"

"both."

"would you ever give it up if given the option?" I narrow my eyes a bit. I'm especially curious about this.

"no." this is delivered with certainty. for a second, I stare at him with about a million more questions in my head. of course, they're completely out-of-bounds and way too personal, but they're still there.

"hm." I say instead. as usual, delivering thrilling commentary at every turn.

Spencer peeks at me over his pizza for a second, seeming to want to say something else, but decides against it. our eyes meet; I'm not sure what it is, maybe a silent agreement or something else that's unspoken, but we decide not to press further on either end.

whatever he's got tucked away in that big brain of his, he's not ready to talk about it with anyone-- much less a new colleague in a dumpy motel. there's a time and place for certain things, and boundaries to respect.

I change the subject before he can make some lame excuse to leave. for some reason, I just don't want him to leave me here in this room.

taglist (lmk if you wanna be added/removed for this series): @reidsconverse @voidsfilm

[introductions-are-a-spook]

Hello Andy! I hope this ask finds you well. For the self ship ask desserts part 4: key lime pie, banana pudding, cream puff, trifle, peach parfait, and biscotti. Thank you 💙

@shylesbiannerd

To both of you, I got so many of them that I just decided to do them all, hope you don’t mind! As per usual I answer for him and Andrew (rather than him and me). And, sorry this took a while!

hot fudge sundae: do you explore abandoned buildings/“cursed” locations?

Oh, definitely! He's such a detective, always looking for a mystery to solve. It’s fun- he takes an urban legend, goes to the ‘source,’ and walks Andrew through what he thinks was really going on.

Frankly Andrew’s just there for the vibes and the escape. Man just wants to spend time with his geek boyfriend!

key lime pie: is there something that annoys your f/o that you just don’t understand?

I dunno why, but he gets really stingy about specific words people use. Like, it's not 'hot cocoa,' it's 'hot chocolate milk.' And it's not 'all of a sudden,' it has to be 'suddenly.' He can get so uptight about it, it's kind of hilarious.

Don’t even get him started on politics. Yeah, people argue politics all the time, but he doesn’t really care about them from a societal perspective. He just wants to make sure you know the exact differences between communism and socialism, from an academic perspective.

banana pudding: how does your f/o make you feel safe?

Overall, no one in their right mind would call Maxwell trustworthy (not even himself or Andrew). And yet I can tell he cares a lot more than he lets on, or would even like to admit. The way he goes out of his way to make sure Andrew is not just safe, but also happy, is what makes he himself feel like such a safe place.

cream puff: how do you look out for each other?

Let’s face it; neither Andrew or Maxwell are good people. Looking out for each other often consists of defending one another. But then, that’s the fun of the relationship- always getting each other in and out of trouble!

Andrew had a run-in with the law again? No big deal, Maxwell has influence with the police, and can get him out of it.

Maxwell pissed someone off at a party with his classic egoism? Again, no problem, Andrew is more than capable of charming them both out of consequence.

trifle: does your f/o seem to know everything about you?

Yes, actually! He has a weird way of looking through people, figuring them out with just a look. It’s the detective in him- he just knows stuff about Andrew without having been told (which was made even worse when they started staying at each other’s houses). Ex:

“Hey, Maxie, I’m going to be away for the weekend.”

“Oh, good luck on the concert!”

Or, “Max, I’ve got an appointment later. Could you-“

“I’ve already told Isabella to watch the shop for you. Stay safe!”

peach parfait: what makes your f/o smile the most?

He’s a reader, always has been. Getting lost in a book is one of his favorite things. On the other hand, Andrew is a writer, and is usually inspired by Maxwell. So what really makes him smile is everything Andrew writes for him. He’ll find a poem next to his breakfast or something and just smile for a while about it.

Andrew wrote him a long romantic love letter at one point, and his older brother actually had to tell him to shut up and stop giggling.

chocolate mousse: how do you spend a night out?

Both of em’ are very fancy people! So usually date nights involve an extravagant event of some kind. Expensive dinners, maybe a show or a play, and if there’s a dance going on somewhere, it’s an automatic must.

Sometimes Andrew will come up with a mystery for Maxwell to solve, as a sort of game. Which admittedly, describes their entire relationship.

biscotti: do you wake up early or sleep in? who usually gets up first?

They only sleep in the same bed on the weekends (alternating houses every week), so when they do, they can stay up fairly late. Maxwell typically has to spend a good half hour finagling Andrew out of bed, albeit a loving way.

Just kidding! Maxwell is definitely the type to swipe the blankets and pull Andrew by the wrist until he gets up.

When they’re just on their own, they have to be asleep decently early, since they both have work and stuff to do during both the morning and afternoon.

hazelnut truffle: how is your home usually decorated?

Andrew’s is pretty small, so most of the decorations consist of some pictures and house plants (it’s also pretty messy, in that ‘frantic artist’ type way).

Maxwell’s, on the other hand, is decorated just how you’d expect an old manor in London to be decorated. Lots of paintings, books, and ornaments. His room specifically is more a library than a bedroom, as is a lot neater than Andrew’s.

Basically, the quintessential difference between chaotic academia and scholarly academia.

Thank you for reading!

[prepperjournal]

Building Your Survival Food Pantry

When I was a child, we had a bomb shelter. My parents didn’t build it – it was there when they bought the house. But they did stock it with what they believed to be the most important survival items, should we ever get “hit.” I remember several battery-operated items – radio, flashlights, and such – and of course, clothing and bedding in a trunk. But then there were the food and drink items - our survival food pantry. There were all sorts of canned goods, of course, and large bottles of water (only glass in those days). Foods that normally came in boxes (e.g., cereal and powdered milk) were put into glass jars. Times have changed. Now that we have plastic and bagged items with long shelf lives, bomb shelter food would look very different today (except for the powdered milk, I suppose, which I always hated). And there are plenty of ways to keep food items water-proof. A nuclear event is not the only disaster for which we need to be prepared these days. Earthquakes, fires, floods, hurricanes, and tornadoes are all on the rise, as well as real threats from people both within and outside our country. Then there are blizzards, pandemics, and long-term power outages as we recently saw in Texas. And the Boy Scout motto of “Be Prepared” should still guide our preparedness. So, let’s take a look at what a survival food pantry should look like today. Whether we face a short-term or long-term disaster, it is best to plan for a long-term food and water shortage at the onset. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9J31WXxAEwY Survival Food Pantry Basics – The List - Water: It’s the “rules of threes” here. You can survive three minutes without oxygen, 3 days without water, and three months without food. If you are breathing, then water is the next priority. If you are planning a pantry for “bug-in” survival, you will want between ½ - 1 gallon of water per day, per person. This also presupposes that, if you have a means of cooking, you may use some water. And there is personal hygiene to think of too. In short, water must be your top priority. If the public water supply is disrupted, then any tap water will have to be purified once that supply is restored. A few drops of household bleach per gallon will do the trick and save you from the necessity of boiling if your power is out. If you are thinking in terms of a “bug-out” survival, water will be too heavy to carry. What you want instead is a water collection device and filters. And, if you have access to wood and bring matches, boiling water is always an option here. FIFO Can Tracker | Stores 54 cans | Rotates First in First Out | Canned Goods Organizer for Cupboard, Pantry and Cabinet | Food Storage | Organize Your Kitchen | Made in USA - Organize Your Food Pantry - Our patent designed FIFO Can Tracker keeps your kitchen organized by storing and rotating your canned goods on a First In First Out model saving you from expired food cost and waste! Designed to store cans from 4 to 15 ounces. Perfect for diced chili cans, soup cans or standard vegetable cans. Holds up to 54 cans. Perfect to organize your food storage. - Sturdy Design - Made in the USA, this product is built to last and will be a permanent solution to your kitchen organization problem. Easily connect multiple units together to expand your storage. - Easy Installation - Put together in just minutes following a simple 4 step process. - Fits on Existing Shelves - Product dimensions are 12" H x 16" W x 16" D allowing you to organize your pantry, cabinet and cupboard. - 100% Customer Satisfaction Guarantee - If you are not satisfied with your purchase and feel this product has not solved your pantry organization problem simply return for a full refund. $38.99 Buy on Amazon - Canned Goods: These are absolute staples if you are sheltered in place in your home. And they will provide a variety of foods so that you don’t face “food boredom.” Think in terms of canned meats, beans (a great source of protein), fish, fruits, and veggies. Variety is the key here so that you and your family members have choices. And these can be eaten without cooking. After all, your instant pot may not be an option right now. Canned soups are a great option if you buy those that are not concentrated. They can be eaten right out of the can without the need for water or cooking. Ensure you have a good rotation plan also. - Food in Jars: Here’s where the advent of plastic comes in. There’s a huge list of food and drink that now comes in plastic jars that prevent breakage and are less in weight. Think peanut butter and jelly; think bottled juices; think fruits. They, too, have long shelf lives and can provide a good variety. - Snacks: Snacks can provide a bit of a respite from the boredom that comes from lack of electricity and Wi-Fi. Crackers and chips come boxed and bagged. If humidity is an issue, then it can be stored in plastic bags. They have a long shelf-life and will not have to be “changed out” too often.  Dips are obviously out to “dress up” these items, but there are freeze-dried meats that will do, as well as peanut butter. If you can’t cook popcorn is out, but nuts are not. Stock up on a good variety. - Dried Foods: These were not around when I was a kid, but just go through any grocery store and look at all the possibilities. There are dried fruits and meats galore – everything from jerkies to fruit leather, to banana chips. Stock up on plenty of these – lightweight and nutritious. - Granola Bars: I put these in a separate category because they are a source of almost every nutrient we need – protein, carbs, a bit of fat, and even that need for something sweet. If you should have to “bug out,” they are lightweight, have a long shelf life, and can provide the energy you will need. Look for those that are high in protein – this provides long-term energy, while carbs and sugars are only for the short-term. - About that Powdered Milk: Fortunately, powdered milk now comes in cans, as opposed to those traditional boxes. You do not have to take measures to protect it from water damage. When reconstituted with water, it can be used on cereal and for cooking (e.g., mashed potatoes) if you have an alternative cooking method during power outages. If you have children who cannot tolerate the taste, then have a supply of canned chocolate or strawberry syrup to “sweeten the deal.” - Pasta, Rice, Noodles: These can be temporarily filling because of their carb content. But here’s the thing: they must be cooked, and that will require using your supply of water. If you are sheltered in place with your public water supply still available, then all is good. You can cook these up as much as you wish. But if your water supply is cut off, or you have to use alternative methods for cooking, these are probably not good options. Still, put them in your pantry on the chance that they can be prepared. - The Debate About Couscous: Yes, this is a type of pasta, made from small grains of a specific type of wheat flour. The beauty of it is that it is steamed rather than boiled and takes far less water to cook. Unlike traditional pasta, couscous cooks in about two minutes. On the other hand, it is extremely high in gluten. So, if you have family members with gluten sensitivity, it is not an option. Planning for Long-Term Survival in Place As mentioned above, your food pantry should be planned for long-term survival, even if an immediate event is only short-term. Our goal for long-term survival in place is to have those food items that: - Provide solid nutrition - Can be prepared using as little fuel and water as possible - Will be “damage-proof” - Are as compact as possible - Have a variety of flavors and consistencies, so that “food boredom” doesn’t set in Here are some things to think about as you stock that survival food pantry: - Avoid dried beans. While they are a great source of protein, they take lots of water and fuel to cook. Items like navy beans and great northern beans now come in cans. Opt for that alternative. - Water is still the highest priority. Have ½ - 1 gallon per person per day for about a month. Beyond that, you will need a water-collection device/process and water filters to purify that water. - Rely on canned goods as much as possible, but remember they have lots of sodium and sugar, so are not as healthy as other options. - Freeze-dried fruits and veggies are a must. They don’t take up much space, and they are sources of essential nutrients and antioxidants. They are also important to keep your intestinal functions operating properly. You will get the right amounts of vitamins and minerals through these freeze-dried items. - Honey has no shelf-life. It can last forever. Have lots of it to use as a sweetener, and it does come in plastic containers. - Instant oatmeal packets. Place these in plastic bags to preen water damage. They are reconstituted with a small amount of water and heat. Use honey for sweeteners. While sugar lasts forever too, it does not have the health benefits of honey and is susceptible to humidity. - A variety of oils can add “spice” and flavor to foods. And most come in plastic containers now. If you can cook, use them liberally. They are caloric heavy and can provide energy as well as better taste. - Ramen: This is a common survival food for college students on tight budgets, but there are survival benefits too. They are good sources of carbs and take only a small amount of water to cook. - Freeze-dried and dried meats: these can last over a year. - Canned tuna in oil: perfect source of protein and Omega-3. - Granola and protein bars: Perfect for snacks and well-rounded nutrition. One Keynote here: make certain that all foods that are packaged in boxes or paper-type containers are stored in water-proof packaging, such as mylar bags that are vacuum-sealed. If You have to bug out When you have to evacuate, you face unique challenges. Of course, you cannot drag jugs of water and canned goods in backpacks. A wheeled cart is certainly a short-term solution, but it will not house everything you may need for a long-term bug-out situation. Your options are limited, so focus on these items: - A water collection device and filters - Survival Matches - Flashlights with new batteries or headlamps - Fully lightweight nutrition bars and other freeze-dried items You Can do This... Planning ahead is the best scenario for survival. Water and food are key factors in that planning. Make a list of items for both short and long-term survival, get to your grocery store and other retailers with the right supplies and equipment. You can be prepared for any disaster, and that brings a lot of peace of mind. Author’s bio. Jessica Fender is a professional writer and educational blogger. Jessica enjoys sharing her ideas to make writing and learning fun. You can check her last review here. Read the full article

[televisionrulesthenation]

S1E8 - “To Tell or Not to Tell”

Original air date: November 14, 1961

Episode recap

The Petries are hosting a dinner party. Buddy and Sally do a sing-songy comedy routine while Rob plays the piano. Rob gets up and does a physical comedy routine. Laura gets up and does (what I assume is) some sort of ‘60s-style dancing. Cut to the end of the party, all the guests leave, Rob is tired, Laura goes on and on about what I wonderful time she had dancing.

Next day at the office Rob talks about how much fun Laura had dancing for the dinner party audience. Buddy is worried. Apparently non-homemaking interests from the wife should be worrying to the husband. Mel comes in and asks Rob if Laura can fill in as a dancer on the show this week. Buddy gets more worried. He thinks being married to a career woman is bad. Rob calls Laura to see if she’s interested assuming she won’t be. She’s interested.

Back at home Rob and Richtie are having dinner together because Laura is still rehearsing at the show. He fails at making a TV dinner. They eat bananas instead. Later that night Laura comes home tired. Rob has questions about how to operate the washing machine. Roles have become reversed. Rob is not happy but keeps it to himself.

Next day at the office the snappy service guy is dropping off lunch for Rob, Buddy and Sally. Laura comes in on a break looking hot in her leotard. The lunch delivery guy gawks over her.

After Laura’s successful week as a fill-in, Mel tells Rob he wants to offer her a permanent contract as a dancer on the show. Rob is worried but delivers the news to Laura at home that night. Laura is happy. She had a fun week proving to herself she could do it. But her body can’t keep up. She wants to be a homemaker not a career woman. Rob is relieved.

Everything is about me

Ostensibly, we can make it on my salary alone. But then she went back to work part-time, and the budget balanced a little more easily. We were able to move into this bigger house. There was a little money for some fun.

But she wasn’t happy working, and we figured she didn’t need to work, so she quit.

And the budget got tighter. We can make it. But there’s not a lot of room for fun. Or all those finishing aesthetic touches on our new house.

Her going back to work part-time bought me some peace if I’m being honest.

In the back of my mind I figured as the kids got older, she’d be able to work more, and that be our money boost. I didn’t need to obsess over getting promoted to make an income leap. That leap would be solved for organically by her eventually working full time.

And I still sort of feel that way. But her quitting is a temporary blip. Like I said, she wasn’t happy. She was feeling stressed and not operating in a position of strength to be the best mom she could be. She wants to focus on her health and happiness and kids’ health and happiness.

She wanted to figure out what the heck she wants to do with the rest of her life. She wants to take an art class and find the right exercise program and start a garden and do whatever else projects.

Problem is all that figuring out costs money and there isn’t a whole lot of it to spare in the current tight budget. And my attitude is probably putting pressure on her that some sort of clock is counting down until she figures something out and gets back to work. I keep saying “this year” or “these two years” like there’s a cliff at the end.

And she really doesn’t love doing some of the things she would need to do to truly make this work. We backed off some expenses, like housecleaner and dog groomer only once per month. But haven’t gone truly all in.

To truly make this work, we would need no housecleaning, no dog grooming, no pool cleaner, no yard guy. Her do all that stuff, work it into a schedule. Do whatever the 2021 version of clip coupons is, and really lock down our grocery budget. Essentially do all the homemaking things.

Our kids’ soccer training schedules are brutal Monday through Thursday evening and we still haven’t figured out how to do dinner those nights in a healthy and cost effective way with our sanity in check. That would take effort that she doesn’t want to put forth.

So it’s been four months, and she is not any closer to figuring out what she wants to do, she is not any healthier or happier. The trade-off was supposed to be less money for more time and happiness. But I’m not sure we are getting what we paid for with the forgone part-time dollars she was bringing in.

I am not sure where that leaves her or us.

Episode observations

Life before cell phones

No major changes to the plot except I reckon many of these Rob/Laura conversations--both the routine and the difficult--happen via text not phone.

Clothes and fashion

Rob’s cardigan and polo shirt and slacks house wear, he looked like Mr. Rogers.

Richtie’s robe and button up pajamas, he looked like Hugh Hefner. 

Laura’s leotard, she looked hot.

Vocabulary lesson

Someone, I think it may have been buddy, said something along the lines of, “give him a rap, right in the mouth.” I assume raps means punch/hit/strike. I feel like I’ve heard this usage before but can’t think of where.

OK, wow, just Googled it, and this usage is the first definition in both noun and verb form, while rap as in the music is the second definition.

Best joke/funniest moment

Clearly, the funniest moment of the show was Buddy’s. He was funny throughout. But one moment in particular stood out. He’s talking to Rob about how to get Laura give up on a career in dance and says to take her on a skiing trip. Rob replies that Laura can’t ski, she’ll break her leg. Buddy gets this evil look in his eyes and says, “yeah” with a dramatic pause. The “yeah” was good enough, but he tags on, “you catch on fast.” They call back to this at the end of the episode when Laura mentions maybe she could dance on the show one week per year then Rob asks if she’d like to go skiing.

But I have to give honorable mention to a not as funny but just so well written joke. Rob is about to call Laura about her career prospects. Buddy says, don’t do anything rash. Sally says, leave him alone, it’s his rash.

(Dishonorable mention to Sally’s jokes about needing a husband. They are getting old and I would like them to stop.)

Assorted thoughts on life in the 1960s

Laura’s dancing at the beginning of the episode was odd looking to me. I guess it’s just dated. I kept waiting for it to be a comedy setup. That she’d get injured or something. Not that it’d be interpreted as good.

People watched sing-songy variety shows on TV backed then apparently. Up until this episode--or maybe the previous episode--I hadn’t put much thought into what the fictional Alan Brady Show was supposed to be. But I guess it’s a sing-songy variety show. And I guess people liked that sort of thing. I haven’t done a “checking in with my mom” section on this blog recently and probably should have on this topic. Maybe in upcoming posts I will get her take on ‘60s variety shows

The 1960s attitude on traditional gender roles were on heavy display. Buddy was laying it on thick about disdain for working women, e.g. “losing a wife, gaining a roommate.” (Buddy has plenty more borderline sexist analogies about working women sprinkled throughout.) Mel checks with Rob first about career decisions concerning Laura. Rob can’t cook, even a frozen dinner. Eventually Laura conforms to this too, admitting she’d wants Rob to take her away from all this, doesn’t want to be a dancer, she wants to be a wife.

Final thoughts

Sometimes I question if were are splitting the baby to some extent when it comes to working. At least at this point now that our youngest is less than a couple years to middle school. That is should we go full traditional model or full dual income model not this mixed economy model we’ve got going on? And sometimes I think maybe we’re doing exactly the work-life integration model that 2021 calls for.

[notimefics]

Meeting the Parents - H.C.

Word Count: 2.1K

Requested? Still no, I’m still waiting 

Warnings: I didn’t proof read it because exam season is here and I should actually be studying instead of doing this - so it’ll probably be messy! Apart from that, not much! 

A/N: Super sorry it took me this long to write this but I’m having exams so time is not on my side! Today’s piece is v fluffy! I hope you like it and if you do don’t forget to show it with a like, a comment or a reblog! Because I didn’t proof read it I might read it tomorrow and edit some stuff out! 

Henry’s POV “I can’t believe we are bringing 3 cakes,” I say laughing as we get out of the car in front of my parents house and start walking towards their door.

“We’re not bringing 3 different cakes!” She complains. “We’re brining muffins, a banana bread and a chocolate cake. So it’s only one cake. Plus I’m staying there for the weekend, so if we count today we’re really only bringing one thing per day,” 

“Plus the flowers,” I say with a chuckle. 

“The flowers obviously don’t count!” She says, but at least now that we’re joking she doesn’t look as nervous as she did in the car. 

“Obviously,” I say with a laugh. “Why would they? They’re not even edible,” 

“Well... they’re pansies so technically you can eat them. They make salads look beautiful and I used them once and it was quite good!”

“And did people survive that culinary experience?” I ask with a laughter. 

“Well, I’m here and alive ain’t I?”

“How long was this? Because you are looking a bit pale,” I joke as we get to their porch and I ring the door bell. 

“What?!” She asks me concerned. “Are you serious? I knew should’ve... put some bronzer on or something,”

“I was joking! You look wonderful as always,” I tell her and lean in to kiss her cheek. “They’ll love you,” 

“Once you explain that you’re not dating a ghost,” she says with a smirk as I pull away. 

I’m still laughing when my mum opens the door. 

“Henry! Love! Aw, I missed you so much, sweetheart!” She says and gives me a tight hug. “Oh, and this must be Y/N, I’m so glad you could come this weekend,”

“Oh! Thank you so much for inviting me,” Y/N says with a big smile. I knew mum and dad would love her, the only problem would be my brothers. It’s not that they wouldn’t love me, it’s just that they would tease me about her the whole weekend and tease her because of me too. But Y/N was tough, she’d get along with them. 

“We come bearing gifts,” I tell my mum holding the basket higher so she could see it.

“You shouldn’t have!” My mum reprimands us quickly. 

“Oh, it’s nothing! They’re not really gifts. I just had some free time on my hands” woke up at 6 this morning “and thought I’d get my hands on some recipes I’ve been dying to try,”

“Thank you so much,” My mum tells her and steps aside from the door. “Come on in, come on in! Your dad is somewhere around the corner, but go ahead and put your things in your bedroom while I put these lovely cakes in the kitchen and look for your father. Don’t forget to show Y/N around!” She says and takes the basket from my hands before walking towards the kitchen. 

“Come on, you’ve heard my mum, I’ve got to show you around,” I say and hold her hand showing her the way, first to our bedroom and then around the house. 

“I guess it’s a good thing she didn’t ask why you were dating a ghost,” Y/N says as we go up the stairs and I chuckle and shake my head. “She was probably just being polite though,” 

“Or maybe she was afraid she’d get the species wrong. Like maybe you were a vampire or a ghoul or something along those lines,” I try and she laughs.

“Well, when she saw me I was standing in the sun so if she thinks I’m a vampire she’s a little misinformed. And aren’t ghost and ghouls kind of the same thing?”

“Well, I think ghouls are evil spirits or something,” 

“Oh, do you think that from our 5 second exchange she could see how evil I truly am?” 

“Yeah, the flower pot present gave it away,” I tell her and she laughs again. That laugh... It was how I knew I had to bring her here. I just figured I would never get tired of it and, more than that, I would like to be the reason of that laughter for as long as I can. 

“Ok, so 1 parent down. 1 to go,” She says as we put our bags in the bedroom. 

“It doesn’t help that you’re talking about them like you’re a sniper and they’re targets, just saying,”

“Come one, pick a lane mate, am I a sniper or a ghoul?” She asks and then takes a seat on the bed and looks around. “Your bedroom is nice,”

“Yeah, it was renovated a few years ago,” I tell her as I sit next to her. 

“Oh noooo, I wanted to see child or teenage-Henry’s bedroom!” She whines, letting her back fall on the bed. How easy she could make me laugh also made me sure that I wanted to bring her here. 

“You really don’t,” I tell her with a laughter thinking about all the posters and crap I had in my bedroom back then. 

“I beg to disagree, let’s just hope your parents have some terrible pictures of you as a kid to make up for it,” 

“Well, they do, but you won’t come anywhere near them if I have anything to do with them,” I tell her and lay down next to her, our legs dangling on the edge of the bed. 

“What? Why do you think I came here this weekend? It was for the ammunition against you!” She says looking at me sideways, with a big goofy smile. 

“And the nerves about meeting my parents?” I ask, my cheek laying on the bed to look at her. “If this is only for you to see embarrassing pictures of me as a kid, why were you nervous?”

“Isn’t it obvious? If they didn’t like me they might not want to show me the pictures! It has nothing to do with the fact that I want to impress them so that they don’t hate me when they see me in the future,”

“When they see you in the future, eh?” I ask her. 

“Exactly, it has nothing to do with that,” She says and then quickly stands up. “Come on! I want to meet the rest of your family!” 

I shake my head but stand up and gladly take her to meet the rest of my family.

*The next day*

I am standing in the kitchen table looking outside where Y/N passed back and forth talking on the phone. There had been an emergency at work and she had to take this call and solve problems only she could solve. She apologized about a thousand times even though it was so early no one but me would even know probably.

“So,” I hear behind me startling me. “No need to jump!” My brother says with a laugh, he had clearly done it on purpose. 

“You’re up already?” 

“The kids woke me up,” he explains.  “But I put them in front of the tv, like the responsible dad I am, and came here to ask you why you were up already,”

“Y/N had a work call and I woke up as well,” 

“Look at you being a supportive husband,” He jokes.

“I’m no one’s husband,” I tell him, shaking my head. 

“Yet, eh?” He says raising his eyebrows. 

“Stop it,” I chuckle. 

“So is it a work call or was she so freaked out by us that she had to get some emotional support from her friends or therapist this morning?” 

“Surprisingly enough it’s actually work. Though knowing you guys I should probably have a therapist on speed dial,” I laugh. 

“Nonsense.” He says dismissing it. “If she has a sense of humour she’ll be alright! And she looked ok last night,”

“You barely talked to her last night, but thanks,” I tell him. 

“That’s true,” He admits, “But I did see you drooling over her when she was playing with my kids,” He makes fun of me. 

“I’m pretty sure you should be watching your kids not me, but again, thanks,” before he can say anything else Y/N is heading inside again. 

“Hey! Good morning! I hope I didn’t wake you up,” She says to my brother. 

“No, no! The kids beat you to it,” He tells her with a smile. 

“They seem to beat me at everything, first it was last night winning at hide and seek, now this?” She says and my brother chuckles. I knew he’d love her. 

“Did you manage to solve it?” I ask her, talking about the phone call. 

“Yeah, thanks,” she says leaning on me, and because I am sitting and she is standing, her hip is against my side and at the perfect place for me to wrap my arm around her. “It was a bit messy and, but 5 phone calls later, it’s handled! Do you want to help me make breakfast because I don’t know where anything is?” She asks me. 

“Well, I’m gonna go see some idiotic cartoon with my kids so I don’t have to help with breakfast too!” My brother says before leaving the kitchen. I take the opportunity of being alone with her to quickly stand up and kiss her. 

“Come on,” she says pulling away with a smile. “your parents could come in any moment. You’re very tempting but...”

“They already love you can’t we just enjoy that and be comfortable?”

“No,” she says with a laugh. “I am not so sure that they like me and, if they do, I want to keep it that way!” 

“You’re not sure if they like you? My mum was sharing recipes with you and you were talking with my dad for god knows how long about business! They love you! Even if they accidentally bore you to death,” That gains mea laughter. 

“Don’t be daft, they were not boring me. They were super interesting actually!” 

“Super interesting?” I ask her skeptically. 

“Yes! Your mom’s salted caramel recipes is wild!” I tell him. “Now come on, I’m starving!” She says and takes a step back. 

A few minutes later, while she is cutting some bread to toast and I am scrambling some eggs my brother gets back in the kitchen. 

“Hey, H, could you do me a favour and keep and eye on the kids every now and then so I could go back to sleep for a few more minutes?”

“Of course,” I nod and my brother smiles and happily goes back to bed.

“I guess you should add a few eggs for your nephews,” She tells me and I nod. 

“You know I could get used to this,” I tell her nonchalantly. “You and me making breakfast, kids in the next room,”

“Oh,” she says slightly surprised. I’m trying to act cool and not at all nervous that we’re not on the same page. “I guess it wouldn’t be the worse thing in th world,” she says cooly as well,  a big smile and a blush on her cheeks giving her away. Oh, I hope I never lose the ability to make her blush. 

I can’t help it, I put the bowl and the fork down, turn to her, wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her. 

“Come on,” She tells me with a smile. “I want kids too, but now might not be the right moment to try to have one,” she says with a wiggle of her eyebrows. I am still laughing when my mum comes in the kitchen a few moments later. 

“Good morning to you two,” She says merrily. “You’re in a good mood,” She tells me with a smile. 

“I got some good news,” I tell her and, from the corner of my eyes I see Y/N blushing some more. 

“Oh, if you’re making breakfast you wouldn’t mind if I spent some time with the children, would you?” She asks us barely even registering what I told her. 

“Of course not!” Y/N tells her. 

“Thank you, you’re a sweetheart,” My mum says before walking away. I immediately turn my attention back to Y/N, one arm around her again. 

“Your mom is in the next room!” She whispers to me. 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll stop with the PDA in front of my family, but it’s very hard when you tell me things like you just said,” 

“Me? You said it to me!” She argues, but she’s smiling. 

“Yeah, but... ok, we’ll talk about it when we’re back home yeah?” I ask and she nods. She quickly gets on her tiptoes and kisses me before getting away and back to the counter. 

“You’re right, it’s very hard not to kiss you when we’re talking about this,” 

[holding-infinity-and-a-book]

A monkey is trying to invent a moving vehicle for the monkey race. One vehicle will travel at a speed of 12 miles per hour, and the other one travels at a rate of 18 miles per hour. The monkey made this graph to figure out which one travels faster and which one he should enlist in the monkey race.

My speed example:

The same monkey has created the best vehicle possible and is ready to enlist in the race. However, in the application form, it is required that he enter the speed of the vehicle during a test run. The monkey drives his vehicle to the nearest grocery store to buy a banana, which is 100 kms away. He does this in 2 minutes in his superior vehicle. Assuming he doesn’t get pulled over for monkey speeding, what was his speed during this test run?

Distance: 100 kms Time: 2 minutes

Work: 100 km/2 minutes = 50 km/m

Answer: The monkey’s vehicle travels at a speed of 50 km/m

My average speed example:

The monkey is worried about his competition. His neighbor, the elephant, is also enlisting in the competition. WIth an avid determination to win, the monkey decides to spy on the elephant. Putting on sunglasses, a hoodie, and a baseball cap, the monkey is ready to go incognito. While spying on the elephant, the monkey sees him travel to the mall. Luckily, the monkey brought a timer. It takes the elephant 3 minutes to travel 165 kms to the mall. On the way back, it takes him 2 minutes to travel the same distance. Based on the elephant’s average speed, should the monkey be worried about the competition?

Total distance: 330 km Total time: 5 minutes

Work: 330/5 = 66 km/m

Answer: The elephant’s vehicle travels at an average speed of 66 km/m.

My velocity example:

It is the day of the race!! The elephant has decided to opt out, (that couldn’t do anything with the wad of gum currently stuck in the engine of the elephant’s vehicle, could it?) and the monkey is ready to win. He has even made some adjustments to his car so it will travel faster! The finish line is 2500 kms east of the starting line. As the monkey takes off, he quickly bypasses all of his competitors, except for one! Who is it?? Upon closer inspection, the monkey gathers that his rival is none other than… the giraffe. The monkey is tempted to keep an eye on the giraffe (sabotage? the monkey would never!), but along with a speedy vehicle comes lots of buttons and levers to deal with, and lots of focus necessary. 40 minutes later, the monkey passes the finish line. The giraffe had traveled at an astonishing speed of 60 kms/m. Will the monkey be able to beat the giraffe? Solve this problem to find out!

Distance: 2500 km Time: 40 minutes

Work: 250/4 = 62.5 km/m east

Answer: Traveling 62.5 km/m east, the monkey just edges the giraffe out of the competition! Congratulations!! You helped the monkey succeed on his path to victory!!

totally didn’t just download google docs bc tumblr wouldn’t let me send any more asks on desktop-

OHMYGOD THIS IS SHEER BRILLIANCE OK A WONDERFUL STORY LINE AND A CHARACTER EVERYONE LOVES THIS IS WONDERFUL

This is the stuff that should be in textbooks

This is what makes students want to do work this is AMAZING

And the creativity for this....wow ok just wow I love this

Smol anon you are a genius

Also @midwaylocket270 meet your partner in chaos you both are the same age and I have a feeling equally chaotic

All the best to the world if these two become fren

And wait, you got google docs for this? I don’t blame you this work is fantastic but wow

[drdln3-blog]

Is there a long-term solution to America’s weight problem?

More than half of all American adults are overweight and it's hard to turn on the TV without encountering a commercial for another weight loss remedy. This growing epidemic of obesity has not spared even the young school children who are showing high blood pressure, and other psychological and social problems related to overweight.

 Overweight is not only a personal problem but has become a national crisis that drains our financial resources. Over 30 billion dollars are spent annually on weight reduction efforts in the United States, and the 30 billion dollar figure does not include the medical costs resulting from obesity-related diseases. For example, approximately 100,000 coronary by-passes are performed yearly at an average cost of over $70,000 each (i.e. $7 billion per year), and about 1,000 people in the U.S. alone die every day of cancer.

 Weight control can help with many of the health-related problems which can reduce insurance and medical bills; and help solve the national health care crises.

 Many of us know that to maintain a desirable weight is good, not only in terms of good looks, but more importantly, in terms of good health. However, the relationship between proper weight and health is more complicated than you think. The scales and scientific methods for calculating overweight and over all fat amounts are important, but more important in terms of health is where you carry the fat more than how much extra fat you carry. One of our aims is to tackle this problem, and to provide an effective technique to lose weight. Overweight or obesity is probably one of the most important dietary problems talked about and written about today.

 Weight problems are rare in populations where a lot of natural fruits, vegetables and whole grains are consumed. But excess weight is a common problem in developed countries like the United States, where the progress of scientific and technical development has led to the common use of processed and refined foods, as well as use of growth hormones for profitable animal farming. One of the obvious effects of this move is the high caloric intake resulting from the decreased volume of processed foods. In other words, over-consumption of calories to fill the stomach that leads to an overweight. Traces of growth hormones from farm animals are also a contributing factor for the overweight problem.

 Not only the diet but life style, whether sitting on a computer or watching TV or using a car or phone, is equally responsible for overweight crises. The problem is a new one; never before has man had so wide a choice-or so regular a supply-of good food; or such easy access to vehicles or phones that even natural exercise such as walking requires a special effort.

 All kind of diets, exercise programs and other solutions have not worked even though it has become a billion dollar industry. If it did, we will not have all these grim statistics and over-weight people walking around.

 I have known whatever is to know about weight, health, yoga, meditation from East as well as scientific approach from West. I have studied at Yale University, USA in the West, and Punjab University, India in the East. I have written 12 guides combining Eastern and Western approach to health from happiness to longevity.

 However, I could not reduce even 5 pounds with typical diet and exercise. Look below my daily eating habits and other life style that many of us including medical and scientific experts can call ideal. Here it is my typical day:

After getting up in the morning:

1 cup of tea with no sugar but little skim milk

Breakfast: ¼ cup Oatmeal cereal

Snack: Apple, Banana or other fruit

Lunch: About one cup Frozen Vegetables microwaved, plus egg-white from boiled egg.

Evening Snack: Mostly Tea only (rarely a bran muffin).

Super: Two whole wheat (or millet) chapattis equivalent to about 2 slices of bread. Vegetable cooked Indian style with spices and little olive oil.

Drink plenty of water, 2 cups skim milk, no soda, no alcoholic drink (except in a company or at a party).

Exercise: About 5-10 minutes of yoga stretches in the morning. 3-4 miles walk in the evening.

 This schedule is quite healthy and has kept me disease free, pain free and youthful in all aspects so far in my 70s now.

 You will wonder what is left to tell that can reduce weight and stomach after following the above schedule. I was thinking the same till I tried something very simple and very effective. It can be done anywhere, anytime and requires no special equipment. And this is not even any diet or vigorous exercise or some nutrient, vitamin, hormone, and drug that I am promoting. I am talking about time to kapalbhatise; What's so different about this Kapalbhati Technique that Works!; How does It Work for Weight Loss!; Supplemental Exercises to Boost Energy; Science behind Success of this program.

 “Reduce stomach naturally without surgery; you will lose weight and look great. It's that simple.”

 References: “A Simple Solution To Americas Weight Problem” “The Power of Breathing”

 About the Author: Dr. Sukhraj S. Dhillon is an eminent Scientist with numerous research publications in life sciences who studied at Yale University and served as a Professor at University in North Carolina. He has written more than a dozen books on topics of Health, Aging, Vegetarianism, Weight control, Stress-free living, Meditation, Yoga, Power of Now, Spirituality, Soul, God, Science, and Religion. His articles and books are a pointer to his line of thinking including current publication. He has been the President, Chairman of the board, and life-trustee of a non-profit religious organization and has expressed his views in the congregation and at international seminars.  http://www.dpcpress.com/pa.html

https://www.amazon.com/Dr.-Sukhraj-S.-Dhillon/e/B004584DL0

[plant-lights-yr]

Yaorong LED plant light has 4 major functions besides plant supplement light

When it comes to the role of Yaorong LED plant lights, the first thing we think of is to add light to plants. When the growth and development of plants are affected by factors such as weather and seasons, insufficient sunlight exposure prevents normal photosynthesis and storage of organic matter, growth and development cannot proceed normally, and severe conditions may directly wither and die. The emergence of LED plant lights makes plants get rid of the limitation that they can only rely on the sun to grow normally, and can also increase crop yields, shorten the growth cycle of plants, and produce high-quality, high-volume, green crops.

So is the role of LED plant lights just the range that we usually touch and hear? What other functions does LED grow light have besides plant supplement light? The role of LED plant lights must be based on the basic role of plants to supplement light. At present, there are mainly the following aspects:

(1) LED plant lights help plants to lift the restrictions on planting areas Affected by regional climate, weather lights, and light factors, people who want to eat mangoes, dragon fruits, bananas, etc. can only go south. The emergence of greenhouses makes temperature, humidity and other external factors can be considered to be controlled, and then part of it Southern crops can also be planted in the north, but some crops that require high light cannot be successfully relocated. The main reason is light. Insufficient light has caused some plants to not survive, some survived poor growth, and some survived. It can grow but cannot bear fruit. This situation cannot be called a successful plant "relocation" in the complete sense. The emergence of LED plant growth lights makes the last obstacle to the plant "relocation" cleared, and completely solves the geographical limitation of plant cultivation.

(2) LED plant lights help human beings escape the food crisis With the rapid deterioration of the earth's environment, the growth of the world's population and the loss of agricultural workers, the yield of crops will decline, but humans have to eat for survival, so no matter how other factors change, crop yields must not change. The best The solution is to increase crop yield per unit area. Like Yuan Nongping’s team, the hybrid rice developed is a way to increase crop yields from the perspective of the crop’s own genes. In addition, it is to change external conditions to increase crop yields. Greenhouses Planting is one kind, and the use of LED plant lights is also one of them, as is the plant factory built with LED plant lights as the light source.

(3) LED plant lights assist in scientific research Studying the growth behavior of plants outdoors not only covers a large area, but also has many uncertain factors, and it is impossible to fully quantify the research data of plant cultivation. Indoors are completely different. What kind of problems does each plant need in different growth periods, what kind of humidity, what kind of light, what kind of light quality already grows best, and under what circumstances will there be What are the different changes? With these quantitative parameters, different growth states of different plants can be planted according to the different needs of human beings. Only plant lights can allow plants to "walk" from outdoors to indoors. At present, only LED plant lights can enable indoor research to achieve the highest efficiency.

(4) LED plant lights assist aerospace ecological construction and research Aerospace ecological research seems to be the existence of science and technology, but all countries in the world have never stopped exploring it. Almost all plant growth cannot be separated from the irradiation of light. The growth on the earth has become accustomed to the various ecological environments of the earth. It is naturally unsuitable to go to outer space, because it is really indoor, and the others are relatively easy to control, and the most difficult to grasp is nothing more than It is the influence of light and gravity. LED plant lights can control the spectral wavelength very well, which can fully meet the needs of plants for light.

www.86yr.com

[andthisiswitchcraft]

Happy #FolkMagicFriday all!

As I was going through some closets of mine earlier this week, I found something I thought was super interesting that I had completely forgotten about. I found my collection of Worry Dolls.

Also known as Trouble Dolls (or in Spanish, Muñeca Quitapena) these are part of my very unique collection of over a hundred that I had utilized since I had acquired them around the age of 8. My collection began after learning about them at The Museum of Science after going through an exhibit about the indigenous highlands of Guatemala and I thought these were THE coolest things on the planet. I became obsessed with these little miracles - the ones I had purchased were supposedly authentic and made in Guatemala, and came at a hefty price tag through the museum. If anyone is interested, I also came home with a geode, a map of the milky way and a venus fly trap - all things that have shaped me into the human I am today.

Anyway, I truly believed in the magic of these dolls, and I had begun to collect them through Guatemalan natives I had met over the years, and later in life through small shops. What started out as five purchased after a life changing visit to a museum, had spiraled into a prized collection that I thought was more common than it actually was. I had gifted these dolls to people who I thought could use them and even made my own as a tween.

What's so special about them? These dolls originally in Guatemalan tradition, refer to a Mayan princess Ixmucane, who was given the gift from the sun god to solve any problem a human could worry about. These dolls represent and honor the princess and her intentions. These dolls were given to sorrowful children who may have had anxiety or bad dreams or even existential dread. It was said that these dolls kept secrets but were great listeners, and if children talked to thier doll about what worried them before sleeping, then placed it under their pillow, all their sorrows and worries would be gone in the morning.

I told my dolls everything.

They might not look like much, but they were traditionally made from textile scraps and sticks and meant to be dressed as Mayans would. As a child I felt like these dolls helped me as I worried about things that I shouldn't have been aware of, such as emotional abuse and poverty. They didn't solve my problems overnight per say, but I had felt comfort in them. Why?

Well, these dolls are still used today in child psychology. When we voice our feelings, we use the ventrolateral prefrontal cortex. This area of the brain is split up into two sides: left and right. The Broca’s area is what we call the left side. The right side actually doesn't have a name, but that doesn't mean it is not important. This part of our brain is what controls our emotional regulation. When we voice our innermost feelings, this area of our brains go crazy. Studies have shown when this area of our brain goes bananas, the part of our brain that causes anxiety, which is refered to as our "fear system" seems to calm. The fear center of our brain holds in traumatic events, but also long lost memories. If we can wade through our sorrows by speaking up, even to our worry dolls, we can access these crucial, beautiful memories, and feel them more intensely than before.

To me, these dolls symbolize the importance of shadow work. When we bottle away emotions that we feel uncomfortable with, we become numb. These emotions can be pain, sorrow, anxiety, or even love if we have been wronged in the past. For me, these represent voicing my thoughts and feelings, as painful as they can be, to experience the greater good that awaits me in my life. Unknowingly, these dolls helped me at a young age get in touch with my shadow self, and finding these this weekend brought an avalanche of feelings, difficult and beautiful. I looked at some, and remembered the worry I shared, and reflected on the growth I have made. I looked at others and remembered the late night secrets I shared. And I looked at the rest I had never shared with, and remembered that shadow work is never finished.

Melissa