#or “afab privilege”

[fortycds]

trans discourse on here genuinely drives me insane. people under every trans label you can think of can be so intentionally divisive and seem to intentionally forget the meaning of intersectionality and trans liberation left and right

[sagegreenyaps]

Transandrophobes and exorsexists, on the cusp of just blatantly declaring they believe in "female privilege"-- COUGH-- sorry, I meant "AFAB privilege": Masculinity is not societally punished! So if you become masculine, you will be celebrated!

Butches, from the dawn of gender norms:

[gatekeeper-of-witchcraft]

I know I’m preaching to the choir but tims get so mad when you call them male instead of men, despite the claim that “nobody’s denying biological sex!”* even if you capitulate to calling them women (as a gender), because it tells them you don’t really believe it. you don’t buy it.

they know the only reason you’re keeping quiet about the fact that they’re men is because they’ve created an environment hostile to the truth and you’re toeing the line under implicit threat, not because you actually believe their claims.

they cracked down on the definition of woman, so the only way to shut you up (absent your capitulation to threats) is to crack down further on the definition of female.

* side note: I’ve noticed that it’s mostly ppl on the outer edges of the community/discourse that still argue that “no one’s denying biological sex.” the people closer to the inside doubled down and are now arguing for sex as a construct/spectrum/changing sex.

[bugbuoyx]

can i just say that afab privilege is the funniest fucking term ive ever heard of in my life

[lemon-tea-leaves]

If you're gonna go around talking about how invalid self-diagnosis is and how you should ALWAYS just go to a doctor because they're the experts, consider doing the following instead:

Reminding yourself that no doctor is infallible, and unfortunately there are shitty and VERY misinformed doctors out there

Advocate for the spreading of accurate information about the neurodivergence or illness or disorder or etc.

In that same vein, dispel myths and misconceptions about said Brain And Body Things™

Advocate for easier access to evaluation and diagnosis

Support people who have been medically gaslit in the past and just want to know what's going on with themselves

Support people who have had their life affected by their symptoms (despite not knowing what was causing them) and just want to know what's going on with themselves

Support people who just Feel something Wrong and just want to know what's going on with themselves

Just fucking support people and stop tearing others down because you're white knighting

There are people intentionally making a mockery of things like DID or being autistic, among other things. And there are people who mis-self-diagnose (usually due to research that isn't deep enough) and are fed misinformation which leads to them misrepresenting the disorder.

But there are also people who have the symptoms, looked into the symptoms, found something that matched the symptoms, and maybe FINALLY felt they had an answer when they couldn't find one because they didn't have the means or whatever the reason.

And you're telling them that they're making a mockery of a disorder because they wanted to find a reason. And it's because you associate them with the people on TikTok that you roll your eyes at. And it's fucking annoying.

TL;DR:

Maybe instead of being a dick about self-diagnosis, you could help set a path towards making it so people don't have to in the fucking first place.

(Also, as for my opinion on self-dx, self-dx with a good amount of research from verified accurate sources = A-OK. I'm saying this as a professionally diagnosed person who has had to self-dx in the past. I've been wrong about some things and right about others, and professionals have been right about some and wrong about others. But it helped to set me down the right path. I wouldn't be where I am if I hadn't.)

[corviddusk]

thoughts on "afab transfems"? never heard of this before and I'm . . . confused

I don't like the term myself as a focus on AGAB is always bad and I generally despise the AGAB terminology- even cAGAB annoys me. People assume that AFAB = XX chromosomes, titties, vulva, vagina, functioning uterus with both ovaries, proper perisex (non-intersex) puberty and AMAB = XY chromosomes, flat chest, dick and balls, functioning testes, proper perisex puberty.

When in reality AFAB usually means "kinda looked closest to female on the day they were born or we chopped off their dick or otherwise mutilated them to look female" and AMAB usually means "kinda looked closest to male on the day they were born or we did surgery to make their dick into a proper phallus"

Transfems could have been AFAB, cAFAB, AMAB, or cAMAB or even AXAB. I'm an intersex person with likely Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia (unsure if complete classical or incomplete non-classical) and I was given the F designation at birth. Doesn't matter that I was practically raised as a boy, doesn't matter I was told I wasn't a real girl and bullied relentlessly for my masculine features and body. Doesn't matter my puberty was so atypical my parents freaked out and considered getting me placed on hormones for a while out of hopes I could be less of a freak in their eyes. I'm nowadays looking to get on estrogen and as my genitalia is ambiguous I want to get bottom surgery. Not going to get into it too much but I don't have proper anatomy according to my own dysphoria.

Intersex people are an awkward category as many of us will transition one way or another or get on a mix of hormones. I was transitioning transmasculinely for a while but I realized I've actually been transfeminine all this time and merely had no way to understand that was a possibility for me. I had dysphoria so I assumed it meant I had to want to be a man because I had an F marker at birth even while being treated more like a boy who was effeminate than I ever was a girl. I've since learned with my discovery of my own intersex condition from mishaps with hormones and my doctor informing me of strangeness with my natural production of testosterone, that I can transition to be more feminine. And that's what makes me happy now.

I'm starting to actually wear feminine clothes for the first time in a way I genuinely like and want. I'm learning how to do makeup which is something I never learned before. I can't do my nails that well either but I'm practicing and my partner sometimes paints them for me. I'm growing out my hair and looking into laser hair removal for my face. I'm also trying to find a proper doctor so I can get on estrogen. I may not have the same experiences as women who were AMAB in fact I believe those women actively have it worse due to the added layer of issues. But I can empathize and sympathize with having an M gender marker legally while coming out as Transfem, I can relate to many experiences.

In fact due to my birth certificate some of the new laws against my sisters will not affect me as much and I gain MASSIVE privilege even if it be from a coercive way of labeling my intersex body as it won't belong (to be clear I want to have an X gender marker but if I have one that's F I won't mind that much).

Basically AFAB transfem is an annoying term because we should not focus on AGAB. I'm not an AFAB. I'm not an AFAB transfem. Nobody is AFAB as an identity, gender assignment at birth is not identity it's an event that happened to you. And for many it is traumatic. I don't define my existence by my traumas. I may define myself as a survivor of some traumas but I am not the trauma itself.

Yes transfems who were AFAB have privilege in some capacities over transfems who were AMAB. Which is why I myself acknowledge I'm a weird area of TMA sometimes and TME at other times. (I'm more TMA than transmascs for example but less than many of my sisters who objectively struggle more.)

[desiirepath]

as a nonbinary “afab” myself im allowed to bully u dumb cunts overyour transmisogynist “takes” and posts like these

why is the framing women (unless theyre trans women) and trans mascs. its so weird

[transmaverique]

"TME privilege" and "AFAB privilege" do not exist in a meaningful capacity. non-transfems are fully capable of and often do leverage transmisogyny against transfems in queer spaces. that is a real dynamic that exists. but i think it's a huge mistake to treat lateral bigotry as another privileged/oppressed axis

... in my experience, these phrases serve only one purpose

"TME privilege" and "AFAB privilege" equate you with cisfemininity. a trans man uses his assigned sex to gain sympathy from cis women to hurt trans women. an ftx enby has more privilege than a trans woman, bc they are interchangeable with cis women

they flatten our experiences with transphobia and ignore the massive span of gender expression we have. a trans man is not usually capable of "utilizing his ASAB", he is more likely to be isolated and mistreated bc of his transmasculinity. an ftx enby can look like fucking anything, not every nonbinary person looks like or are treated like women - and when they ARE it certainly isn't a privilege.

what is really meant when someone says you have "TME privilege" or "AFAB privilege" is that they think you have cis privilege. whether its the privilege of being perceived as a cis man or a cis woman, that is what they mean. to me, this is like saying a closeted trans woman is benefited by the patriarchy bc she is treated as a cis man. maybe that is true in some very very limited capacity but her transness will ALWAYS be present and her transness will ALWAYS come before her supposed "male privilege". MY transness will always come before my supposed "TME privilege".

[tristinian]

Tbh I think people should just become complete jokes in discourse if they use “afab privilege”. Like you haven’t even learnt basic ass cis-centric white nonintersectional feminism 101: afab people don’t have privilege for being afab. In fact they get oppressed for it

[i-know-how-my-story-ends]

Sometimes I explain the rancid dIsCOursE that upsets me to my friends who aren't on here and they say "what the fuck that doesn't make any sense" and I say "I KNOW" and I block 7,000 more people

It's very much that one xkcd

[opossumanon]

One thing I'm finding strange is the sudden appearance of "afab privilege" on my feed. Like...since when was having a "female body" seen as privileged in society???? Are transmisandrists okay????? Have yall never been outside before???????

[desiirepath]

never argue on tiktok, people will refer to your friends and partners as “mutuals”

[vigilskeep]

i’d be such a good chantry sister i just thought “oh a good method of staying awake would be reading the chant of light”

[hallowdeaddyke]

So my thoughts recently have been these:

• queer masculinity got watered down and pushed out of queer spaces and its annoying to see the aftermath bc everyone wants a domtop daddy partner but is grossed out by like. Idk body hair? Cargo shorts? Ill get back to you on that

• we have this weird breed of transmascs who dont necessarily want to admit that they have the privilege of being transmasculine in relation to transfems (something youre able to have while also being affected by transphobia and misogyny as separate events, just not transmisogyny bc thats not rlly how it works)

• a weird breed of queer people who dont want to be assertive or dominant or capable of like?? Anything at all? ‘I cant do the dishes im neurodivergent’ or whatever? So this weird avoidance of responsibility, accountability, independence, even in sexual situations (see top shortage, whatever that is)

• a weird fear of penises which most people associate w/ masculinity and therefore the transmisogyny that ensues because of that

• inability to communicate, organize, or basically behave like adults because of like. Idk the fear of being wrong? Why do I feel like a lot of other transmasc queer folks ive met irl recently have the tendency to be weird and catty ?

• competing victim mentalities, trauma olympics etc. instead of a focus on healing from wounds. The weird sense of individualism some folks get about mental illness, individual trauma, what have you. Something that singles you out from the crowd or excuses you from accountability instead of something you can use to relate to other people w/ the same issues or a way to help you like. Look at yourself and your habits better.

• people who dont want to put effort into friendships, bad faith, not wanting to give help without immediate reciprocation?

Weird relationships between capability, masculinity, bioessentialism, responsibility, and community maybe? I think we have a lot of queer transmasc folks who dont feel comfy w/ their own masculinity (or assertiveness or dominance or things we associate w/ masculinity in the West ig) because they believe any connection to masculinity/men/ whatever is like. Inherently evil maybe? Because misogyny? Fear of perceived masculinity? Idk? Help?

edited 6/24

[artificial-ascension]

Crazy how "being in the closest to stay safe" is suddenly "using afab privilege(???)/misgendering yourself to get special treatment" when transmascs do it.

[elfnboy]

i wish ppl wouldnt say "afab/amab nonbinary". I understand this is beneficial to talking about the experiences we have that are different but it rly does feel like its just reinforcing a gender binary purely because of how the oppressor talks and thinks about us. Theres gotta be a better way to talk about it than splitting nonbinary people up into another binary based off their agab...