#or he doesnt really care about it enough to get it

[cryptotheism]

I do find it a little fascinating how many of these people go insane. Not metaphorically, but literally just become shadows of their former selves. Every grifter who’s from 5-8 years ago I’ve seen is now in some phase of either borderline delirium that people watch to see them burn or just straight up vanish.

Why do you think that is?

Grifting in the internet age is an act of performance with a profit motive. The goal of that performance, the way you make money, is the art of Baiting.

Making good bait is difficult. Grifting was a different game in the early days of the internet. You had to be provocative enough to bait people into paying attention (positive or negative!), but not so provocative that you folded over into self parody. But I think the algorithmization of social media has changed how this game has played somewhat.

Every seen this guy?

He goes by DateRightStuff on tiktok. He is a master of producing bait. Every video is some shit like "when homeless people ask for money, I like to give them fake Hollywood money. That way when they go to try and use the money, they get arrested."

Clearly made-up nonsense. He doesnt actually do that in real life. But it is a story that gestures towards a conservative base, while leaving himself wiiiiiiide open to dunks from the left. Because you gotta remember, he makes money from every comment, every stitch, every reaction.

Every half-baked snarky dunk is another triggered lib for his audience to laugh at. Dunks keep him relevant in the algorithm! This is important, because the way DateRightStuff makes money is by hawking his "conservative dating app." His entire tiktok account is essentially one giant marketing campaign for this app. It is bait-based advertising, and every day literally thousands of people fall for it.

But DateRightStuff is especially good at this. Mainting this level of performance is exhausting, no matter how profitable it may be. It requires an in-depth understanding of the social space and no small amount of creativity. It is a careful balancing act, constantly making small adjustments to an internet persona to keep the money flowing in.

Many grifters fail because they are strange. They have strange ideas about the world, and have trouble maintaining the level of objectivity that makes guys like DateRightStuff so effective.

I dont think grifters really "go insane" per se. (I'm sure some do.) I think they lose control of the balancing act. They press too hard in the wrong direction, get into the wrong beef, or fail to capitalize on some new social trend, and lose the attention they need. There can be a period of attempting to claw back that attention with increasingly ridiculous stunts. From the outside, this looks like they are going nuts.

[adhd-fandom-and-gay]

AU where Robert just...gives up on trying after the engagement with Everly and becomes terribly complacent, and Hastie has to watch his son slowly lose his sense of purpose, identity, and contentment knowing that it was mostly due to his actions. Is this anything.

[jd-loves-fiction]

Siiiiiiiiigh. Here we go again because I keep getting ideas and need to write them down before I forget

Platonic Boothill, Mydei, Ratio, Aventurine and Gallagher getting the (un)fortunate chance to see what really happened in reader's past. Like watching it as if it's a film or tape. But we know it's tragic from the actions of their father to how they got enslaved and all the way up to when reader met them.

🌑 back to the angst we go!!

✦ 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐥 ✦

Honestly had his suspicions

Finds it as USB drive with your name on it

Doesn't want you to see it first in case it's something traumatizing (would you look at that, it is😔)

Utterly stunned at what he sees, immediately shuts it off the first time

Then, curiosity wins - he just has to know, for your safety

So he watches, feeling a little numb and very angry

He remembers being irate when you hinted at what happened but this? This has him thinking of murder, downright slaughter actually

Dad instincts taking over cuz how dare they

Let's just say he's very good at hunting people down...

✦ 𝐌𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐢 ✦

Probably was sent to him as a means of blackmailing him into leaving you be because of how weak you are or something of that nature

Under the assumption that all Mydei cares about is strength - which anyone could tell you is not true

Pure distilled rage does run through him for a second, until he calms down enough to think it through rationally

His anger would only make the situation worse

So he calms down, thinks about what he wants to say and goes to see you and approaches the situation in the way that will be the best for you

Has a very calm and emphatic conversation about it... And then gently asks if you'd like him to kill someone and obliges to whatever your wish may be🫡

✦ 𝐃𝐫. 𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨 ✦

For such a stoic man, it's quite surprising even to himself, how quickly rage overtakes him

He's a very rational man, but more than that he's very empathetic - when he cares, he cares very deeply

So he's at somewhat of a loss, torn between approaching the situation logical and blowing the fuck up cuz he's so damn angry😡

Decides to approach it rationally for your sake... But if you barely give him a reaction he's gonna blow up anyway because WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS FINE?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT DOESNT MATTER ANYMORE????

So angry, on your behalf of course

You might see little treats appearing near where you're sitting in the coming days👀

(He just feels the need to comfort and reassure you even if you don't really need it, just don't ask him about it cuz he'll deny it like an idiot)

✦ 𝐀𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞 ✦

Conflicted pt??

But this time it's a little different

He's conflicted because confronting your situation and finding a healthy way of dealing with it for your sake, forced him to do the same with himself while reminding him of his own past

And he does nawt want to do that nor does he know how to

So he sees, probably something to do with the IPC, and doesn't mention it for months

Just sits with that information like he sits with his feelings and such

Doesn't bring it up, doesn't act any different, nothing

Until! He meets up with you while still a little drunk, and brings it up like it's nothing, in truth it's been eating him up inside for weeks

Your reaction doesn't really matter here since he's barely listening, if you don't manage to stop him he's just gonna start rambling about both of your pasts and how similar they are how that makes him feel

Full of sarcasm, hidden meanings and pretending it all doesn't matter to him but you know him well enough to see that it clearly does

Ends it really sweetly with something like a reassurance that he understands, if nothing else

All while smelling strongly of booze and slurring his words :)

✦ 𝐆𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐡𝐞�� ✦

This guy... Has me at a loss, sort of

Would probably find out in some way, probably something to do with seeing your memories, either purposely or accidentally

Either way, he knows, and approaches it in what's probably the subtlest way out of everyone

Waits for you to bring it up, be it a joke or an offhand comment, and breaches the topic slightly

Just testing the waters

If you don't bring it up for a while, he will - casually and without pressuring you into talking

But he does want to know, quite badly in fact, how you feel about it now

Patience of a saint so he's gonna wait until you're ready, as long as it takes, and when you are, you've got him to talk to and he's not going to judge you or anything

He just wants to listen, just wants to know

Incredible at reading people so if he sees what you need reassurance or something, that's what he'll offer, if all you need is silence then he can do that too

As a bartender, he's used to hearing about people's woes and responding accordingly so you're in good hands :)

[the-s1lly-corner]

ooooooh im looking through older posts and stumbling upon the toons x single parent reader.... those were tasty :]

might i request sprout, looey and brightney headcanons for a single parent reader?

Sprout, Looey, and Brightney x single parent!reader

Off topic but I remember this old fnaf 1+2 fic I read on quotev where like all the animatronics became like. Small lil guys and the reader took them home and it was like. Really cute, single parent of a bunch of kids type stuff. Sad that I can't find the fic anymore

Notes: gn human reader, short and sweet, pre game, no given identity for your kid but they're present, you're a visitor, toons have a crush on you but they feel like it's not allowed, written on computer

CWs: none

SPROUT

baked goods are a given when it comes to him and trying to make people feel welcome in gardenview... though hopefully you wont mind trying out one of his new recipes if he hasnt had the chance to try it out himself- they wont be toooo bad.. even his bad batches are still good

hands on activities! something to keep the hands of your little one busy while you take a moment to relax- hes more than willing to take your kid for a little while to give you a bit of a break

...but youre more than welcome to come and join him and the others! sure gardenview is mostly catered towards kids... but hes going to make sure you know adults can have fun too!

BRIGHTNEY

always always keeps your childs favorite stories on hand so they have something to read through with the other kids- and shes more than willing to offer some reading recommendations for you and the child!

...it gives you and her something to talk about too while everythings calmed down- brightney isnt usually left in charge of the higher energy or rowdier kids so its a good moment to just. wind down from the energy of gardenview

always always remembers anything you tell her- could be the smallest little detail and she'd fish it out the moment youre trying to remember it

LOOEY

see he already feels a need to entertain all the visitors of gardenview with his jokes. but the pressure is really on when it comes to you and your child- mostly you, though... he just wants to impress you, really anything just to make him feel like he did something positive

i like to think hes not the best with kids... not that hes mean or short with them, he just doesnt know exactly what they like all the time and sometimes that can leave him faltering... totally doesnt use this as a means to get to spend some extra time with you- definitely not using the excuse of finding out how to best care for your kid nope totally not

god hes so bad at hiding his little crush on you, too. his ears and tail give it away, and if thats not enough he tends to stumble a bit on his words. hes hopeless

[fan-a-saurus-rex]

How would Joaquin Torres react to his younger friend/sister having a sugar daddy? Like she doesnt even tell him but he somehow finds out

I hope you don’t mind but I’m writing this as smut cause I had an idea 😂

——————————————————————————

Mr. Brightside

Plot: Torres finds out that you’ve secretly had a sugar daddy for the past few months and he doesn’t react the way you expected.

Pairing: Joaquin Torres x Reader

Requested: Yes! (Make a request here)

Warnings: smut (mentions of casual sex w/other people, unprotected sex [wrap it up friends, stay safe!])

Masterlist

You hadn’t meant for it to happen. Actually, you hadn’t meant for anything in the past few years of your life to happen.

Back in 2019 you blipped, just like billions of others. Five years later you come back to find your friends had aged normally and you were still the same as you’d been when you turned to dust. The only friend who didn’t give up on you at that time was Joaquin Torres.

It was weird to be younger than him now. You were at different stages of life now, but your bond with him was just as close as it always had been.

After losing five years of life, you started to become more bold. You were unapologetically yourself and not afraid to tell people what you thought.

In the past few months you had ended up in a situationship of sorts….with Jason, a much older rich guy. He was basically your on-and-off sugar daddy. You hadn’t told anyone about him, not even Torres, especially not Torres. He was so protective of you that you didn’t know he’d react to you sleeping with a guy 20 years older than you.

What he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

But, as if the universe was trying to punish you, Torres and Jason crossed paths. You had been upstairs showering while Torres was visiting and Jason stopped by your apartment.

“Who are you?” Torres asked the much older guy.

“Jason, I’m…friends with {y/n}. She left her sweater at my place. Just wanted to return it” he said

“Friends? You’re a lot older than her” Torres said, wondering if maybe he was a family friend of her dad.

“Yeah um…we’ve actually been hooking up” he said nervously. “I like my woman younger. It’s not serious though, if you’re into her then she’s all yours…I don’t mind” he confessed.

He was into you. More than he cared to admit.

“I’ll let her know you stopped by” Torres said before closing the door.

He was seething.

Ten minutes later you came back into the living room and saw your sweater laying on the couch.

“Oh, I’ve been looking for this! Where did you find it?” You asked.

“I didn’t. Jason did, you left it at his place” he said flatly.

Your face dropped and turned beat red.

“No….no no no, Torres. This is not what it looks like” you said

“He told me you two had been hooking up” he said.

You sighed “yeah. And then he buys me nice things to apologize for the shitty sex cause he’s in his 40’s and he can’t always keep it up” you said rolling your eyes.

If you were being honest, it hadn’t been the greatest for you. He had no stamina and always finished too quickly leaving you unsatisfied, or just not being able to stay hard long enough to get you off. It sucked, so he bought you expensive gifts to make up for it.

“Really?” He asked, a smirk playing at the edge of his lips.

“I kinda wanna break it off. It’s not like it’s serious”

“That’s what he told me”

“I just don’t wanna be lonely, but I’m so sexually frustrated I might explode!” You said, you hated this situation.

“You don’t have to be lonely” he said calmly

“Oh really? Do you see any other guys lining up to be with me?!” You asked loudly

“Yeah” he said

“Who?!” You asked irritated.

“Me”

“What?”

“Open your eyes {y/n}! I’ve been here the whole time. Before the blip, after the blip! I’ve been in love with you since we were in high school back in Miami. I waited five years for you to come back to me and now that I’ve finally got you back you’re secretly sleeping with some rich guy”

You looked at him with your mouth wide open, but no words came out.

“I’m right here babygirl” he said moving closer to you. “You never have to be lonely…or unsatisfied”

“Joaquin?” You finally asked feeling confused and turned on at the same time.

He came over and moved a piece of hair out of your face “we don’t have to, but I’d rather have you then watch you waste your time with an insufficient man twice your age.”

You looked up into his dark eyes as his hand caressed your cheek. You couldn’t deny it, he was hot, always had been. You could remember a few times where you thought maybe you liked him as more than a friend, this was another one of those times.

Suddenly, your bravery took over and you found yourself pressing your lips to his gently. His lips moved against yours slowly and if you were being honest, you were feeling things you never thought you would. It felt like his lips were made for yours. Like he was made for you.

His hands moved to your hips as yours snaked around his neck pulling him closer.

* * * * *

It had been a few weeks since Joaquin found out about your sugar daddy situationship and the kiss you two shared.

You had never expected to react the way he did. You thought he’d be mad at you. And he was mad, but more at himself. You hadn’t expected his true feelings for you to come out.

You had called things off with Jason, who didn’t mind at all. It wasn’t serious anyway and he could find some other pretty young thing anyway.

Tonight you were at Joaquin’s apartment. He wanted to have an intimate stay-in date. He had cooked you dinner and you ate on the floor, surrounded by pillows and blankets, while watching an old movie.

After dinner the two of you just laid on the floor talking and just soaking up each other’s presence. You were fidgeting with Joaquin’s hands as you talked.

“You like my hands or something?” He said chuckling

“Mhm” you said smiling “something about them is really attractive to me”

He grinned at you “wanna see what I can do with them?” He whispered softly

You blushed and nodded, biting your lip.

He rolled you over onto your back and straddled your lap gently. He let his hands roam up and down your sides and thighs before resting them on your cheeks. He leaned down and kissed you softly. You arched into his kiss. After the first kiss you shared at your apartment, the day Jason came over unannounced, it just felt so effortless to be with Joaquin like this. Kissing him just felt so right.

After a short time the kiss got a bit more heated and you could feel your hips instinctively bucking up to reach his.

He chuckled, pulling g away from your lips “needy girl” he whispered.

You smirked “so needy”

He tugged at the hem of your t-shirt and pulled it off slowly. You reached up and pulled off his shirt before running your hands down his toned chest. Sure, you’d seen him shirtless before. But you would never get used to how fit and sexy he was.

You sat up and wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing your chest to his. The skin to skin contact made electricity run through your veins.

He smirked and picked up, carrying you to his bedroom where he laid you down on the bed. He kissed down your neck and chest, down to the hem of your leggings. He looked up at you, silently asked permission. You nodded and he proceeded to pull them off, before tugging off his basketball shorts.

You were trying to be patient. You knew Joaquin wanted to take his time. But you had so much pent up frustration from months of shitty sex with Jason that you were finding it hard to contain yourself.

Joaquin took notice and ran his hands over your sides gently “don’t worry babygirl, you’ll get what you need from me. I won’t leave you wanting” he said softly.

You nodded and allowed him to slip off your bra and panties. He slipped out of his boxers then reached over to his bedside table to grab a condom. You reached out to stop him “no…I wanna feel you…” you whispered.

“You sure babygirl?” He asked

You nodded “I need it so bad”

His breath hitched and he looked like he was short circuiting “okay baby”

He lined up to your center, teasing you with his tip “fuck, you’re soaked” he groaned.

You whimpered a bit, you needed him so bad “Joaquin please?” You begged

He smirked and slid into you slowly. You both gasped at the sudden contact.

He was bigger than Jason, so it took some time to adjust, but once you did you wanted all of him “Torres…move” you whimpered wanting it so bad.

He started thrusting slowly, letting you feel him in you. It drove you insane “oh god, feels so good” you moaned.

“You take me so well” he groaned, picking up the pace.

The room soon filled with your moans and the sound of skin slapping skin. You hadn’t felt this good in months and you never wanted it to end, but your climax was approaching quickly.

“Fuck, I’m close!” You moaned

“Let go baby, cum for me” he groaned in your ear, taking you over the edge.

You moaned his name loudly as you released hard. You’d never cum so hard.

His high was approaching quickly “want me to pull out?” He groaned.

“No…fill me…please?” You begged breathlessly.

“Oh fuck!” He groaned as his high hit quicker than expected. You could feel his hot load dumping deep inside you.

You rode out your highs until you were a panting mess, laying next to each other trying to catch your breath.

“Joaquin?”

“Hmm?”

“That was amazing” you said breathlessly.

He leaned over and kissed your cheek softly “told you I wouldn’t leave you unsatisfied” he said smiling.

You smiled and turned your head to kiss his lips softly. He pulled you closer and you cuddled into him.

“I’m never gonna make you feel like you don’t matter. I’ll never neglect your needs. You deserve the world baby” he whispered, playing with your hair.

“I know” you said softly, looking up at him through your lashes. “No more sugar daddies for me” you said giggling.

“I’ll let you call me papi if you’d like” he said grinning.

You giggled and nudged him “shut up, no” you said “gross, I’m not into that”

He chuckled and kissed the top of your head.

You thought about everything that had happened since you came back from the blip, all the stupid mistakes you’d made. The only one you didn’t make was keeping Joaquin close, but you wished you’d kept him closer. You loved being with him like this.

You cuddled for a while until you rolled over, lying on his chest. You smiling down at him.

“What’s up babygirl?” He asked

“Ready for round two?” You asked smirking.

“Oh hell yes” he said flipping you over so he was hovering over you.

“Do your worst papi” you said sarcastically.

[everythingisamazing]

I will never forget watching Season 2 of Arcane, with this ever-growing "this seems really gay..." suspicion — until Viktor dropped the "In all timelines, in all possibilities" line.

I remember looking over at my boyfriend, who has zero stake in the yaoi game, just to check his reaction — and before I could even say anything, he simply stated: "Gay."

And that's when I knew. <3

[vbrosclips]

s5e8 - The Devil's Grip

[snekdood]

so uh

for 1. most people are gonna take advantage of black friday and wont see your specific niche tumblr post, I hate to say it

2. the us isnt running out of money for war any time soon, so...

3. this is just antisemitism???????? all we need is some (((echoes))) around the us and israel and then I'd have no reason to suspect otherwise from op...............

[sidesteppostinghours]

ok. question.

ortega ended up hallucinating sidestep after they "died", but sidestep doesnt know about that. they know it got bad, but never the full extent of how their death affected them. so if your sidestep Did learn, if they found out ortega looked for them in every little piece they could, would that change anything for your sidesteps? would their relationship with ortega be any different?

[mostlyghostlyy]

Been thinking about holding hands with Dale in public, but he holds our entwined hands over his crotch and each stride he's making absolute sure it's stroking up against him juuuust right

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

thinking about tipsy trent/tedependent again (after seeing some of my old posts here and here) and like, i've got two different fics where they hook-up while drunk but i'm Still Thinking About It. specifically i am thinking about trent, tipsy and instantly thrilled to see ted (trent, aloof and cold and standoffish journalist, upon seeing ted lasso while even slightly tipsy: [immediately turning into the human embodiment of ":D!!!!"] TED!!!) and being just drunk enough to start flirting. terribly. luckily for him ted finds it to be incredibly endearing (and if part of him is secretly, guiltily a little flattered that trent is just so pleased to see him, let alone that trent wants him so earnestly--well that's fine) and. god. should they be having irresponsible tipsy sex while trent's still a journalist? absolutely not. is it even likely in canon? no. do i care? also no, BAM, fate aligns just right where trent's drunk enough to actually flirt with ted, ted's drunk enough to flirt back, and this somehow ends up with one of them in the other's bed and there's sloppy making out which turns into clumsy giggly drunk sex which turns into sleepy cuddling which turns into waking up the next morning like Oh Fuck.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hello! I'm not sure if requests are open...but can I have romantic headcanons of Astro with a chubby reader? They're absolutely cuddly and love to eat! They're not insecure about their weight though, I just thought some headcanons of this would be cute! Feel free to ignore this if you want.

Astro x chubby!reader

I kinda really want onion rings rn actually... sobs9bs9b

Notes: gn toon reader, you like what you're rocking, short and sweet, written on computer, pre game

CWs: mentions of bullying

he loves it... hes a little shy in comparing you to something soft or saying youre squishy- he knows sometimes plus sized people dont much care for that but youre open about enjoying his comparisons!

it also means some extra loving for you- he'd cuddle into you regardless but of course, theres more to love! good luck trying to escape his hold when you two lay down for a nap-- he can be rather clingy when hes asleep...

he doesnt like confrontation, and even if you let insults roll of your back he cant help but feel like he needs to say something... never enough to start a full scene or argument but at least tries to shut it down

please tell him he did a halfway decent job of defending you... and tell him that he doesnt need to do it if its adding some extra stress

the thought of commenting something critical on your body- or really anyones body in general- never really crosses his mind. youre happy and youre healthy so hes got no business in talking ill of it

your love of food also isnt lost on him, he knows when youre craving something- and it never takes him long to get it to you... he juuuuuuust needs to find sprout and cosmo and just... arrange it.. hes not much of a baker and hes too sleepy to be trusted with an oven

[qoldenskies]

What are Leo and Donnie's opinions on Lou Jitsu?

leo thinks he's the coolest fucking thing ever and is overjoyed to be related to him (although he does hide it behind 6 layers of irony because he REFUSES to be too earnest about liking things), and donnie is kind of indifferent. he's seen some of the movies that leo snuck in, but he just thought they were kind of okay. he's so fucking picky about like everything he likes, which is really funny because he's going to ADORE jupiter jim. loser

[greasydumbfuck]

thinking about frank and sex (in a sad way)

[dennisboobs]

every day i have to hold my tongue when m-cd-nnis shippers start sounding like frat guys with the way they talk about dennis' Secret Feelings toward mac. hey man. i don't actually think you get it. i don't think you understand what's going on between them.

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

I was so captivated by everything else in the "My First Five Years Baby Moshi Record" in his biography that I completely skipped over the first line being "My first lock of mustache hair." Before age of five??? You were four when that picture on the mountain got taken. What happens between ages four and five that you grew a mustache. And being born evil is not a reason im not accepting that one i dont care if your first outfit was a cloak and razorsharp shoes or that you were allegedly born with vicious teeth.

But also it does make me giggle that he's just quite literally always been like this. I mean yes he had tragic turning point that really spun him for the worst but like his parents were already slightly scared of him before any of that even happened. He was born with the evil laughter and mustache and. Whatever else is wrong with him and his capabilities.