#or something... and i remember thinking that kind of sucks. bc id only posted it like not too long ago
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I found something on Pinterest of kotoko and jataro doing arts and crafts, and it looked like your signature on the bottom left. I can't attach the image to this ask, but I wanted to ask if you did it. The pin said "CREDS TO OG ARTSIT" so now I have a personal vendetta against the uploader and a desire to find who this "artsit" is.
WOW blast from the past! remarkably i actually dont even have that image in any of my own archives anymore LOL... ? so i tried to find the pinterest upload youre talking abt and yeah :
i am the "artsit" :) i drew this somewhere between 2017-19 probably....? like i said i cant seem to find it on this blog (probably deleted it) or in my own archive (bad at organising)
thanks for bringing this up bc i totally forgot i drew this and it was kind of nice to see haha... id say not to worry too much if u were thinking of like saying anything to the reposter bc they probably wont care. feel free to comment that i'm the source if you really want to though, but its not like it can be found here anymore... this uploader is possibly the only person who has this saved somewhere seeing as i cant find it idk
#asks#it took me a minute to realise who u were even talking abt bc i havent thought abt dr in like years and i only drew jataro a few times#i could still have this saved somewhere random but from the folders i thought it might be in i couldnt see it u_u#a handful of stuff ive posted over the years has been reposted and it only bothers me when its without credit and ive recently posted it#like when i was still active on this blog i posted something that got reposted to reddit without credit and it got like double the likes#or something... and i remember thinking that kind of sucks. bc id only posted it like not too long ago#and recently some other thing i drew was reposted without credit but this uploader did that with like a bunch of artists#and i guess got reported or smthn bc their acc isnt around anymore LOL#anyway if theres credit im not too bothered if its something kind of old and its a platform i didnt post it on it depends#but the artsit typo is pretty funny it just shows that they really do not care lol
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hi!! :) i saw ur post asking for beckory hcs and unfortunately my brain wont think up any beckory hcs rn BUT i do remember some you have that id love to mention
I remember (i think???) you said somewhere that neither tony or gregory really ever confess. Not like “will you be my boyfriend”, instead its kind of a slow progress where they over time get more and more comfortable doing romantic gestures. Its never outwardly said but both tony and gregory see it and can feel it and know its there. Know SOMETHING is there, and i absolutely adoreeeee that. Like they just do their own thing, they dont worry about sticking a label on it. Like gregory will give tony drawings of fronnie, and tony keeps every single one. They’ll grow comfortable enough to hold hands and they just slowly become more and more comfortable with being romantic with each other. They both notice something is there but arent worried about labeling it, it doesnt need a label, its just what feels right for them (Queerplatonic beckory…..)
And then you said something in response to my post about beckory hcs where Tony is 19 when he realizes he wants to marry gregory and i think thats so cute. And im curious on how you think the eventual proposal would go. Tbh i feel like it wouldnt be anything huge, its just in private when theyre both hanging out with each other and tony casually pops the question (i say casually but he was probably a nervous wreck) but its still a sweet and romantic moment. And then a few days later gregory is hanging out with cassie and hes casually like “oh yeah im engaged to tony” and cassie is like “WHAAAAT”. But id still love to know how you’d imagine it would go :)
Also i do have one little hc actually, its just that gregory is surprisingly good at rollerskating, and tony sucks at it. They hold hands as they skate so tony doesnt fall and embarrass himself
yes!!! I think a good way to describe how I see them is a mix of queerplatonic and romantic but at the end of the day I just love seeing their relationship as unable to be labeled and that's okay. like their relationship is so complicated and deep bc of the shit that's happened to them 😭 and they're both so individually deep and complex as people they're bound to have so many different feelings about things including eachother. they definitely butt heads sometimes but overall they make eachother better because of that drive to stay close and fully involved in eachother's lives. human relationships are just so intricate I think it's interesting if it's not fit into one specific box bc irl it's just truly not always like that
the idea of anything happening to what they have going on even earlier in their relationship especially after both of them thought they 'lost' the other (Gregory literally thinking Tony was long dead by his own hands before he showed up one day at his doorstep lmao) things seem so much less world ending and important at that point especially just after what they've been through in general trauma wise. like to Gregory after (remembering) everything he's lost with his entire family being murdered and his life being completely uprooted and stuff he doesn't really see a lot of smaller things as much of a problem lmao. and that'd improve Tony's mental health and just character in general subconsciously adopting that because he takes a chill pill and isn't so high strung and self righteous about everything anymore . and it only gets more apparent and better as they get older (all this starts happening when they're like 14)
and for the proposal thing it's funny bc when I said that HC about Tony being 19 when he realizes it was because I actually have some wedding wips regarding some of that so it was on the mind! beckory isn't the focus but they definitely have importance and I was actually considering cutting it completely but this ask probably just made me decide to keep it in lol. the scene in question is actually exactly what u were talking about with how he would 'propose', but a little different. hopefully I can get it out soon lol. the beckory focus would be a sequel fic (oneshot) to a different fic (also a oneshot) and that one wouldn't be posted until July for reasons so hopefully around then I can get myself to write it. lol hopefully I can even finish the first fic o_o'
the roller skating HC is so real lol I like to think Gregory wants to be a skater boy so bad but he's better at skating tragically 💔 Tony would be so bad at it but someone sticking behind with him would make it fun for him
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Maybe not the healthiest love language, but I love how upset Jimmy gets when Kim is hurt/in danger.
im watching the video and omg 😭😭😭
at least we know he truly loves her!
He hadn't prayed in over 20 years, but he did when Iris was born.
every day that I remember bcs exists I always wish there was some sort of spin off as jimmy and Kim as parents 😞
or any new content with Kim really
I'm sure we'll get more follow up with Kim eventually. I just hope it delves into her taking on a more matriarchal role.
I hope so!! I can't wait for it
It's hard to explain; Kim has her own relationship with God/suffering, and Jimmy can do his best to support her through it, but ultimately he is a helpless bystander. Something about the gender roles of that dynamic just really appeals to me.
that does sound really interesting, can you explain more on the whole Kim's relationship to god thing?
It mostly ties back into what I was saying in my Bandersnatch post. When Kim was becoming paranoid about the cartel following her, that left her with lasting trauma. Even when she "knew" she was out of the woods, the feeling of eyes on the back of her neck never left her. This was roughly the same time the dreams about Iris started, so the emotions are all mixed together.
She was an atheist/agnostic for most of her life, but after she moved from Florida to Wyoming, she tried to make more of an effort to reflect, open her mind to higher spirituality and philosophy. Maybe she was just trying to make sense of her guilt over everything that happened. Why she has so many dreams, and they all end with a gun in her hand. Pastor Dawson said a few things that resonated with her, and that's partially what motivated her to work with him. But ultimately she is on her own quest.
There is this lingering feeling of doom, and Iris isn't an escape from that; they're just a part of the bigger picture. But even if Kim can't see the future clearly, she can sense it, and she dreads it.
She was hoping during the delivery she would get some kind of clarity. But while it was overall a positive experience, she never quite got the epiphany she was hoping for. She's trying to get better about this, but she's always felt like she had to bear everything alone. It's hard to let Jimmy in. Because he's a man, and the stereotype is that men are out of their depths dealing with matters of witchcraft or life and death.
oh wow 😮 it does suck thinking about how they'll never truly feel safe, even if that's all we want for jimmy, Kim and their kids. but I know life isn't always fair..
I don't actually want Kim safe. I want her making the death-by-a-thousand-cuts sacrifice all movers and shakers of history find themselves making. Besides, I've never been menaced by the cartel and I STILL can't shake the looming dread. Things ARE going to get worse before they get better. I like the idea that on some gut level Kim knows she is a character in a tv show. But even if it's all just a story, that doesn't mean what she does doesn't matter. People copy what they see in the movies, so she better watch her step.
I really do like when Kim does badass things, it's so cool! even after everything. I know I'd be stressed asf or something lol
We do see some echoes of Mike with the way Kim handles things, especially as she gets older: her hands shake, but only when no one else is watching.
My OC Rita, she's been trying to warn Kim all along that there's a great destiny in store for her, but it's not going to be pretty. Then again Rita is also a sadist and a misandrist, so her advice to exclude Jimmy from spiritual/mental/physical turmoil, should probably be taken with a grain of salt.
I love when there's parallels between brba and bcs, within the shows and characters. I think it's cool to incorporate that in your writing especially
yeah haha id take that advice with a grain of salt too
Kim only speaks to Rita in her dreams, and she never remembers the details of the conversations afterwards
but the deja vu can get pretty heavy sometimes
oh wow 😮 do you Kim wakes up and tries to write down the details or something like that? but I usually forget my dreams as soon as I wake up so maybe that's why
Half the time she doesn't remember that there's anything to write down. She would get a chill if she saw Rita's face in a crowd in her waking life, but she doesn't even remember the name of the demon.
I see... that must be scary not exactly knowing this person. im sure she has a lot of questions
But it's kind of fucky; the continuity should be easy to explain but it's not:
By Kim's perception, the universe of Breaking Bad is "the real world"; this is where she spends most of her time, where she works, where her family is, where the memories of her life can be understood as a linear experience. This place called "Allusion Hall" is the dream world, a Backrooms type location where time flows differently. Kim comes here during the night to sort out her thoughts and emotions, but she always returns to Breaking Bad the next morning.
To Rita, Allusion Hall is the reality and Breaking Bad is the dream world. Fictional universes are simulations that characters can be plucked out of, repaired, influenced, and sent back. Breaking Bad is just one of the worlds Rita has access to, and she's been interfering with hundreds of female characters, anyone she feels like buggering really. Mostly just to be a skeez, but there is a larger political goal she's been working towards.
I forget if you said you watch Westworld but I am very directly pulling from this: "Friendly blonde farmgirl goes about her day-to-day life pretending like the game of cowboys and indians/cops and robbers is the natural order of things. But on her deepest level she knows this whole life is just an illusion, and there's a deeper purpose to why the above-ground world looks the way it does".
no I haven't seen Westward, but the whole reality and dream world kind of reminds me of like reality shifting which I remember being popular on TikTok a couple of years ago 😅 I don't know if you know what that is but that just came to mind
I don't think "shifting" works but I get why people do it. People will find any excuse to embrace the idea that the pain can be escaped with just the right mental trick; that's what religion is. But the thing is, if you were in a tv show, how would you ever know?
true.. unless there's some like weird 4th wall breaks? or some Truman show stuff, although ive haven't seen that yet either lol
The point being, Jimmy can tell something's been bothering Kim. Pregnancy can be a stressful time for a woman but this... this is something more. But even if she wants to explain to him, she doesn't even know how. And she's really worried that if she starts unironically getting into these red pill vs blue pill theories, he'll think she's crazy. He already lost one loved one to delusion; she really doesn't want to scare him like this.
But the story I want to write, she does get up the nerve to tell him while they're at the hospital. And he basically assures her that even if he doesn't fully comprehend, he's putting his faith in her. They don't need to be in agreement about cosmology exactly, and he will stop her if he thinks she's going down a bad road with this. But at least for the time being, he's feels that the odds she's onto something are not just possible but probable.
I want this short fic to be about themes of religion and paranoia, but mostly about how wanting to shield other people from what's hurting you can be selfish. Usually not to the same extent, but childbirth can hurt the father too, because if you love someone you hurt with them.
No matter what happens, pacing the waiting room is always worse.
you really do think about this a lot, it's cool how passionate you are about them
^_^
Since exams are over, hopefully I'll find time to sit down and finish this fic.
I can't wait then!!
He sees so much of Kim in Iris. They mostly look and act like their dad, but every once in a while, something about the eyes, a look they give, their mannerisms, it makes him feel like he finally did something right in his life, continued something that deserved continuing. Still feels too good to be true.
aww that's so cute
And even the parts of himself he sees reflected, it reminds him that being hard on himself never solves anything. He's made mistakes. He's made lots and lots of mistakes. And nobody owes him any forgiveness. But maybe he let comments like "so you were always like this" cut deeper than they needed to. Cus when he looks at Iris, he doesn't see a bad kid, even if god knows how young he was when Chuck started looking at him like he was. He sees someone with a good heart but a lot of energy, someone who could do a lot of good in the world if given a strong sense of discipline and an understanding ear. I think for both parents, the reflection they see in that child's eyes comes with less personality dysmorphia than what the parents were getting from a common mirror. And sure, that alone isn't a good reason to have a kid. But once the kid's here, having thoughts like that are kind of unavoidable.
Although when Kim looks at Iris, I wouldn't say the echoes of "We are poison together" have stopped. But it does frame things in a more positive light: animals evolve venom for a reason.
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for anyone planning to watch one day at a time for lesbian rep, they should also know numerous ppl make lowkey homophobic comments to the girl who's a lesbian that are never challenged("we know youre gay but do u have to act so gay?" type shit as well as her mom like. ughh, there's a whole episode where her mom is just really homophobic and in the end shes like "i may be thinking these things but its ok because i sould never say them to her and anyway my daughter coming out was an understandable shock") and also that the main family says some rlly racist shit( specifically their grandmother repeatedly saying theyre the "good kind of cubans" bc they're white, as well as referencing her family being invokved in the plantations where they lowkey owned black and brown ppl as a good thing, lots of pro us military bullshit as well, like, extremely,.) and that's never treated as a real issue either, just something to laugh at. so yea h. just throwing it out there because a lot of ppl recommended the show to me but being a brown lesbian, well, lol, lets just say it sucks to have to realize on tthe show that's being recommended to u for being "so progressive" and "such great latino rep" is racist af and repeatedly has homophobic insinuations about like, the only regularly seen queer character on the show. i lowkey doubt you'll post this anon, bc most ppl dont give af but. id appreciate it.
No, actually you’re right. When I said it was a good lesbian rep I was mainly talking about Elena, not how the other characters treat her or how they see her identity, it’s very very rare seeing lesbians being represented in a more positive way, not fetishizing or anything like that, and the fact that they do use the word lesbian (not as frequently as I’d like to but still better than never) is a huge thing because most lesbian characters are never referred as lesbians.
After I rewatched some episodes there really are some things that bothered me like those you brought up. That particular scene of “acting gay” I did not really like it, I don’t know if the character who said that (from what I remember it was either Alex or Lydia) was actually supposed to sound homophobic or not. But considering that scene is supposed to be funny I do think it’s just a way to kinda mock her. Also that scene of Penelope saying she can think homophobic things about her daughter because as long she doesn’t say anything to her is okay… That sounded so wrong. It’s not okay. Just because you’re not saying those things out loud it doesn’t mean it’s not wrong.
I’ve never actually noticed Lydia said that because they were white… wow. The part of the pro military I can’t really say anything because that’s the most common thing in american movies/shows. It’s very annoying though.
Yeah about being a great latino rep I don’t think it is, I say that as a latina. It’s still very much stereotyped, which is one of the things us latinos hate about how gringos see us. Tbh I don’t think I’ve ever seen good latino rep in american movies and shows.
Considering the show is still pretty much (from what I know) made by Americans for Americans, I’ve never really expected great rep from it.
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u posted a snippet of a comic where kakashi was coaxing tenzo to take off his anbu mask, i was wondering if u would ever post the full comic? it seems so sad and sweet and id love to have the full context of why tenz was keeping the mask on and why kk was afraid that he was doing so? if not its okay!
AH i'm surprised you remember that!!!! that feels like ages ago...back in may, i think?
i will post the full comic one day, but i have to ink it and muddle through a color palette first! because ive been so busy, i haven't had time to work on it so the pencils are still at 4/12 pages, but i can share with u what i have atm bc it'd be good to refresh my memory too. be warned obviously that like, these are pencils and not a finished, ready-to-consume product, so many things may be unclear! I'll add a little elaboration of my thoughts at the bottom of each one that should hopefully help!

page one. the top of the page and the box right below it are going to be flat black—the implication that Kakashi is speaking into a room which has no source of light. In the second one, Tenzō's pose is unclear, but he's curled up defensively into as tiny of a ball as he can manage, like a pill bug, even his speech bubbles fall along the outside of him, like he's trying to use them as another defense. In the third, we have Kakashi from Tenzō's POV. He's just opened the door, is standing tall and somewhat rigid like he's expecting an attack, taking in the situation. In the fourth and fifth panels, Tenzō sees this, and turns away, becoming deeply embarrassed that he's come to Kakashi for help at all, and that somebody he respects so much is seeing him in such a "pathetic" moment.

This is the panel you referenced—you can see by Kakashi's posture (low to the ground, loose limbs and no longer stiff or anticipating conflict, keeping a distance between he and tenzō) that he's not actually scared, per se. He's approaching Tenzō with the same gentleness that somebody might use in approaching an injured animal. If he's frightened at all, he's frightened for Tenzō's sake, but mostly he says it because he's having a trouble getting a read on the situation when Tenzō is wearing his mask.
It's true that like, as a former root agent, Tenzō is one of the least expressive people in Konoha, but even still, any movement of his face gives Kakashi more context than the cold porcelain of the cat mask, and walking into an unknown situation with a clearly unwell teammate, Kakashi wants as much context as possible so that he doesn't make the situation worse by accident.
Whether Tenzō complies because he doesn't want Kakashi to feel "scared" or simply because he was given a command is unclear at first, but Immediately after, he starts talking about how he's going to have to be re-evaluated for duty, and how hopsital dodging is a serious problem for a shinobi, etc, indicating that he's not really in a space where he can process emotional consequences very well.
I also make a point of not showing his full face during this page, because a full face will generally ask us to relate to the feelings expressed on the face, and I want those feelings to be as hard to read and unsure as they are for Kakashi in that moment, but I couldn't help but show his eyes when he removes the mask.

Top panel is Tenzo responding to Kakashi's command "let me see it," and him stretching his injured arm out for Kakashi to examine. The second panel should have Kakashi's hands gently grasping Tenzō's. Kakashi doesn't go into his space, and instead asks Tenzō to come into his, so that Tenzō can take his time if he needs it.
Idk, with a shinobi that's Going Through It, pushing their boundaries before they're ready is a good way to make their situation worse, or end up with a kunai in ur gut, so it's not something kakashi's gonna do. It's also, not coincidentally, the first panel we see Tenzō's whole face in (though it's still tilted away), and are therefore asked to try and imagine his feelings.
The next panel where he's observing his shaking hands is almost normal, but then the second he goes right back to covering his face with one of those hands and apologizing, stumbling in his attempt to be open. The two blank panels after that should have Kakashi looking directly at Tenzō, and then looking back down at the wound he's inspecting, and giving Tenzō the verdict "You'll be okay." (i know the speech bubble is low there and looks like it's part of the lower Kakashi panel, but I'll fix that in inks).
Then, like a record caught in a scratch, Tenzō just keeps apologizing, like he's forgotten he can do anything else. Kakashi mistakenly assumes it's because Tenzō thinks Kakashi's mad at him (Tenzō does not think this, both because Kakashi is rarely mad at all, and certainly not at him, and because he doesn't have the emotional space or skills in this moment to consider that Kakashi does feel any particular way about this situation)

Kakashi, who is trying his best but sucks at this kind of thing, is getting frustrated with the apologies, and uncomfortable because it feels like they're directed at him, even though they aren't. It's an unbearably uncomfortable position for him to have somebody apologize so profusely, especially somebody he sees as a trusted teammate and friend, and especially for something that's so clearly out of their control. He doesn't want it.
So, frustrated, he redirects. "What happened on this mission to fuck you up this bad?" the only real indicator of his frustration is that in this sentence his language is more coarse, where before he'd been very placatingly careful, and the expression he makes at Tenzō's arm.
He's thinking "well, this sucks and we're not getting anywhere with it, so I'm just going to ask what happened and get it over with."
Then we see Tenzō's full face again as he takes in the question. Around here, when I add color, the page will begin to shift green, and lighter green near the bottom.
Then, as his hair begins to lift, as though it's floating in water, with a blank face Tenzō will say that he doesn't know what happened.
Then, turning to fully face Kakashi (or us, the viewer) for the first time in these four pages he will correct himself, and say "nothing. nothing happened." But he will be green, and much like within the test tube he was raised in, he will be unclothed and his hair will be floating. The first time we're fully asked (by his direct eye contact) to understand and relate to his feelings, he will make it very clear to us the viewer (and Kakashi who is with us, listening to Tenzō say nothing happened when Clearly Something Happened) that the world he's experiencing for the moment is at odds with the body he's sitting in and the room he's sitting in it with, and that's why he's having such an incredibly difficult time processing anything.
#yamswers#shikaemaru#long post#very fucking long post#comics#tenzō is as unaware of the test tube he seems to be floating in as he is of the room he's sitting with kakashi in. maybe moreso honestly#and even as something is clearly telling us Yes Something Happened via the green and the test tube cues#tenzō is vehemently trying to deny it because it doesnt make sense to him#ANYWAY there's eight more pages of this in the works#one day they'll be done LMFAO#i hope i explained this all well? i get very in my own head about comics bc theyre my easiest mode of thinking through things#and so i can forget what makes sense to other people
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Hi, it's rare to see another detrans woman here... do you know where i can find more blogs talking about it? Do you have a tag maybe? I feel like an alien about it. Thanks
i feel that :( i honestly can't come up w a good list off the top of my head and im limited to mobile for a while now so,, i can always come back to this if you'd like me to compile a list in a few weeks!
at any rate id definitely recommend @destroyyourbinder for stuff related to detrans femalehood specifically and @butch-female as a dysphoric butch icon ���️
there's also @detransstories that compiles detrans stories! and peerjongeling (insta) who is a detrans artist and makes rly excellent art.
i used to rec the detrans subreddit but idk if i can anymore. it's been pretty overrun by tras and tims looking for that spicy validation, plus iirc it's been under attack by reddit powermods for some time and has had to do a lot of restructuring to be 'safe' on reddit. which obvs sucks
lastly i do have a detrans tag! it's #detrans :o) i don't post a lot abt my detransition bc i quit T in 2018 and have been solidly 'reidentified' (dunno how to describe it) since about 2020. so there isn't a ton of stuff for me to talk abt at this point outside of frustration with the trans community & tras, since so many of my peers are trans identified or dysphoric. still im always happy to talk abt it as i still do have some dysphoria occasionally and i understand the struggle. my inbox is always open!!! and i keep it open to anons bc i know it can be difficult to talk about especially at first.
i also feel like an alien sometimes, even in radfem spaces, bc ive only rly connected with other detrans women online in more specific spaces for detrans women. plus a lot of women i know irl are very much gender conforming, and even a lot of the radfems on here are more gender conforming than you'd expect (there was some post ages ago having used share abt stuff like their hair, manner of dress, makeup, shaving, etc and a looot of users were very traditionally feminine iirc. it was a kind of controversial post i think? bc of that. but i might be remembering wrong lol) so it gets lonely being a gnc woman. my friends are almost all gender conforming even if they id as the opposite sex, too. so it gets to feeling like you're wrong or something the way you are :( you aren't, honest, and there's loads like us out there, whether detrans or desisted or not, even if they aren't very visible!
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some feelings abt touya and bnha 302 in general! (long post)
jesus this whooooole chapter makes me so so so sad for touya, like he's canonically a crier and i just have all these images now of him crying off to the side while enji looks at his other kids and gives them the time of day. knowing that he was/is a frustrated crier makes the fact that dabi cant cry cuz of his burned tear ducts that much sadder ohhman
one of the things i cant get over is how touya was SO shunned by his dad that when he went to go tell enji about his fire turning from red to blue, he says "i might be as awesome as shouto sooner or later!" like?? this boy is 13 and shouto is 5 yet he's talking like the brother that's eight years younger than him is better than him and thar it's just a fact. the sky is blue, enji wants to beat all might one day, and shouto is better than the rest of his siblings. nevermind that he's only five and just wants to play with his siblings (and dont even mention to me how shouto says he wants to play with "touya and them" cuz im gonna fucking cry abt it. like even though touya's accepted he's bottom of the ladder in this family, shouto clearly wants some sort of acknowledgement from his older siblings and especially his older brother. IM FVCKN SOBBN). enji has made it clear in this family that shouto was what he was looking for and everyone else is not as important, and i knew this from shouto's pov but it's kinda wild to see it implied so casually in touya's words.
"you'll be glad you created me! i just know it!" HOLY SHIT. god my heart. oh my fuck. literally all enji had to do was show up to the fucking mountain, and he couldnt even do that? what the hell?? your son asks you to go to the mountain, you tell your wife not to let him go traim but she said she couldnt stop him, and instead of going yourself to make sure he's okay and BECAUSE HE ASKED YOU TO COME (and with an actually valid reason, no less! fire changing colour is kind of a big fucking deal!!!) you just?? let him go and let him stay there??? my god the amount of times touya must have burned himself and the trees with tears in his eyes. ahhhHHH!!!
what kills me (and touya too soon?) was that we thought before the back story started that enji forced touya to train till he burned up. then when 290 came out--and definitely after 301--we thought maybe touya overtrained himself and burned up. and sure, he was definitely overtraining, but to find out that the burns that "killed" him started just bc he was crying so much he lost control and didnt know how to ease up on his flames? he was upset and literally trying to get himself to stop crying, and then he just set himself aflame and burned up cuz of all his emotions??? that HURTS. holy fuck.
i cant believe natsuo's feeling lowkey guilty for not socking enji in the face like he wasnt EIGHT???? and let's be real, enji woukdnt have fucking listened to natsuo telling him to talk to touya--he already wasnt listening when touya would straight up say "look at me" and when even rei said touya just wanted enji to look at him and notice him. listen, i know sometimes miscommunications happen in families and children are embarrassed to admit they want attention and so their parents remain unaware that theyre not giving their kid something they want, but touya was as clear as can be on MANY occasions, and even rei agreed touya needed the attention and enji just wasnt listening.
also i know there was discourse abt touya being sexist by telling natsu that "the women in this house are good for nothing" and mb it was partly diff translations cuz i feel like saying "this house" makes it specific to rei and yumi instead of all women everywhere, but even disregarding that--i think it's a valid thought for him to have when rei wasnt standing up for him (where he could see, at least) and yumi admitted herself that she was too scared to interfere and so just tried to fix things and keep appearances. i feel like based on what touya's seen from them, it makes sense that he has that opinion. (also gonna mention that i think rei's and yumi's choices also make sense and i think they were valid, seeing as how they were afraid as well.)
and poor natsu being woken up in the middle of the night (what was implied to be often enough, esp cuz it seemed they share a room and their futons are close) bc of touya's pain. that's a lot of emotional responsibility for an eight year old, and it is also so sad that at 13, touya didnt have anyone else to turn to but his kid brother. at 13, i remember being fully aware of the distinction in maturity between an 8 year old and myself, and it sucks that touya couldnt go to anyone but a younger child with all his pain. i bet yumi being too scared to interfere translated to touya as "she wouldnt help me" and thats another reason he didnt go to the 2nd oldest when he needed to vent. (also not related to this but how the FUCK was natsuo so tall at 8 years old? wh a t)
this chapter. this fucking chapter. my heart aches for touya, and it's just such a huge fucking shame he didnt get the attention and validation and support he needed. there must have been workarounds so that touya could safely use his quirk. there weere DEFINITELY better ways to support your son through a self-destructive quirk, ways that involved actually being there and seeing him. i feel like if someone showed him the attention he needed and talked him through how to better control his emotions (and by extension, his flames) and a positive and healthy way, he could have been someone so great. and if he ever learned how to set aside the way he felt infefior to shouto and saw that shouto just wanted to play with his cool older siblings, it might have been really beneficial to see that there was someone there who thinks he's cool and gave him attention just bc he was an older brother, who needed him when everyone else in the househild didnt seem to need him.
and lastly, the fact that the chapter ends with rei saying that shouto is the family hero and that shouto will have to face dabi?? and it makes me angry that shouto has to take on that responsibility. that he was five and suffering for things he wasnt even a part of, couldnt be properly aware of, bc he was so young. he just saw that he was separated from his siblings and that his dad bullied his mom, then grew up shouldering enji's heavy goals and high expectations and abusive training alongside the barely-there memories of his older brother who died (i say barely there bc if natsu didnt even know shouto liked cold soba, shouto was definitely not around enough to have solid memories of touya before he "died"), and now he has to do the emotional labour of fighting his villain brother (who i bet shouto lowkey empathizes with when he thinks abt it late at night) as well as suffer the physical consequences of that agni kai. and it makes me angry that he has to do that, bc he's a Good Guy and he probably feels he has some sort of filial and familial responsibility. he's only 16. he just wanted to play with touya and them, and now he has to deal with this horse shit dabi's causing cuz his dad's an emotionally neglecting asshat who couldnt see past his dumb fucking ego until he saw shouto play with a bunch of kids during shou's remedial exam a decade after his eldest son burned himself to death. what the fuckety fuck.
lastly, since we saw touya burn uo the way he did... did he really just like... burn so much his jaw fell off, and that's how they found the jawbone? cuz holy hot (BURNING too soon???) damn that must have been painful as all hell. i wonder if next chapter we get to see if someone found touya at the park and helped him out and sorted out the jaw bone thing, or if we finally get to see if deku wakes up lol.
anyways this chapter hurt my heart big time, and i kinda wanna draw kid touya crying while being overlooked by his family to let out some of those feelings but we'll see.
and i still stand by my idealistic and naively optimistic hope that dabi gets redeemed and they soend some actually time together as a family (without enji. or at least, with an enji that has apologized to touya in seiza. like, forehead-to-floor apologize.)
does this hope sort out how dabi redeems himself, seeing as how he's murdered people in cold blood and shouldnt be excused for that bc those actions are also inarguably terrible? no. not sure how he could redeem himself for that kinda stuff honestly, but it doesnt mean i dont still somehow want the todoroki sibs to get along, cuz im weak for mending families.
also id like to send a huge kudos out into the world to rei todoroki for being firm for once and for also not running away from her mistakes like her asshole husband has been. i really admire and respect that. she was afraid and being abused, but now that she's been away from enji and has had time to heal, now that her and shouto are in the mend and she's seen that her eldest son is alive and a villain, she's a place where she can acknowledge that even though she was a victim too, she played a part in touya's emotional neglect and she's taking responsibility and that speaks to some incredible fucking strength. damn.
i hope one day that dabi realizes the same in regards to his mother and natsuo, who shouldered a lot of his emotional pain and suffered the consequences of his outbursts (even though his emotions are valid and his outbursts understandable, he still hurt rei and put a lot of pressure on natsu), and i also hope he sees that for all that he hates his father, his whole existence revolves around enji and it's a shitty place to be (and then he'll have ANGST abt it and that shit will be!! so good!!!)
yeah i think those were all my feelings. i had so many lol. their family situation is so difficult, i hope they all turn out okay and alive and healing.
oh i guess i also wanted to say that i kept calling enji an asshat and asshole cuz he was for sure, but i still think his redemption is valid and im glad he's taking those steps to be a better person by being a better father. i dont know if id want his family to forgive him for all that horrible shit he put them through (im personally hoping that no matter what anyone else does, natsuo will choose to to cooperate in the healing of his family as a unit but will never forgive enji) but i think it's good of people to try to be better than they were yesterday regardless of whether or not they get forgiveness. i dont personally like enji, but i dont hate that he's getting a redemption. i just hope it's a redemption that makes sense and forces him to put in the work, and isnt something like a death sacrifice for shouto or dabi. i want him to be alive and i want his redemption process to hurt like a fucking bitch while he forces himself to make better choices and be a better person, cuz redemption isnt supposed to be easy in the slightest. i GUESS all the crying he did in 302 was a good start.
anyways, if for some reason you read all the way down to the bottom--hello! and thanks for reading haha. cheers! :)))
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tagged a couple days ago by @izupie and kept forgetting to do it bc my brain is full of marbles!!! but ty izu I love getting tagged in things :>
rules? answer 17 questions then tag 17 people
nickname? irl I’ve been known to many as CoCo for almost twenty years? (holy shit, don’t usually think about it that way. it started when my brother was first learning to talk.) online I’m also often known as Mouse due to the fact that I’ve been using the handle MicrosuedeMouse for like... probably ten or twelve years
zodiac? year of the dog, bro
height? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh my id says I’m 165 cm so that puts me at... roughly 5′5″? I can literally never remember that for some reason
hogwarts house? Hufflepuff. (which still lowkey means something to me, even though JKR objectively suuuucks)
last thing i googled? ‘duckweed’ lmao I needed reference for a drawing
song stuck in my head? the Community theme is in my head rn since I’ve been watching the show for the last... several hours
number of followers? 835... who tf are you people honestly, my blog is a Mess
amount of sleep? .......can vary wildly, but currently I’m unemployed/have no obligations outside of the house so generally 8-9 hours a night and, lately, usually at least one nap or light doze during the day lol
lucky number? I don’t know if I have a ‘lucky’ number, but my favourite number is six?
dream job? novelist ;__________; now imagine if I could focus on an original project for more than two days at a time lately lol
wearing? a Looney Tunes t-shirt, a pair of denim shorts, my watch and my usual necklace (which is. a rock in a leather pouch on a leather string)
favourite song? hard to 100% pin down but my go-to favourites are rely and get behind this, both by flor (god I miss them, I wanna be able to go to shows againnnn)
favourite instrument? ...? am I supposed to have a favourite? w/e let’s go with hurdy-gurdy bc I was just talking with my family yesterday about how great hurdy-gurdies are hah
aesthetic? kind of. a mess. my brother recently called me tf out by jokingly labeling me ‘Staplescore’. ideally: enough colour that most people find it visually overwhelming, shitloads of stationery and art supplies, also shitloads of stuffed animals/blankets/pillows/soft goods, also shitloads of books, a certain level of Peter Pan syndrome, a little bit of nineties nostalgia, barely-contained maximalism, cartoons, plants, animals, a generally cozy and welcoming vibe
favourite author? not as clear-cut a choice as it used to be, honestly. as stated above, JKR sucks, like, aggressively, and she was the go-to answer for quite a few years. I suppose Pseudonymous Bosch ranks pretty highly... and I haven’t read a lot by Libba Bray but probably my single favourite book is one of hers. Ransom Riggs is also great? idk man I’m actually very bad at choosing favourite things in most categories
random? I was named after my grandfather. my current big hyperfixation is Community (yes, I’m late), specifically Annie/Abed. I’m steadily absorbing all the qualities I used to make fun of my mother for and it’s very annoying. I’m a sucker for college/university AUs even though my own university experience was largely lackluster. I JUST realised this survey claims to have 17 questions but only actually has 16. I don’t know why I felt the need to include so many different things in this answer
the idea that anyone could have 17 people to tag is WILD. no one I know responds to tags any more lmao, which is super lame bc I think they’re fun! if you read this post.......... tag ur it
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ok i just saw this existed, i live on tumblr mobile where i ignore the activity tab and scroll endlessly, bear w me
Animated character that was your gay awakening? uhhhhhhh,,,....,,,.. if i remembered anything abt my childhood i would tell u, im gonna say rukia from bleach because i want gorgeous short people to step on me
Grilled cheese or PB&J? peanut butter Always... tho if it was a fancy grilled cheese (there is a special preparation).... i would be torn
What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? it really depends! i bounce around, i watch a lot of baumgartner restorations, i watch a LOT of nyx fears video essays on horror movies i would never watch, i watch longplays of, like, nier automata bc im still delighted by cryaotic?
Your go-to bar order, if you drink? i dont really get to order a lot of drinks at bars, itll depend, if im with friends ill order as many things off the cocktail menu as my money allows, if im with my parents ill order long island iced teas or whiskey and lemonade
What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? i literally own like 3 pairs of shoes, one of which being the only pair i can actually safely wear haha.... but my favorite pair is the black red and gold converse that dont fit anymore but still remind me of high school
Top three cuisines? mexican, italian, whomever the fuck invented kasoundi
What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? yeah as said above i have no clue about anything about my childhood so idk i think mum said once that my first proper word was just ‘no’ which sounds abt right
What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? idk if my last job counts? i mean i used to do all round garden labor stuff until my pain got worse and i literally couldnt anymore so i got relegated to desk work
Look up. What’s directly across from you? oh a container of pesto i didnt like the flavour of and just... forgot to throw out.... i will do that tomorrow
Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? i have a rwby poster signed by ray and jack? its p cool
Preferred way to spend a rainy day? preferred right now? wrapped in a metric fuckton of blankets w my partner
What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? i..... dont like bagels
Brunch or midnight snacks? i live a weirdly scheduled life, midnight snacks and brunch are interchangeable to me now, so both
Favorite mug you own i..... dont really have one? all of my actual mugs that are mine have my deadname on them haha
What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? overbrewed black coffee that someone left to go cold before dumping six packs of sugar in
Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) ‘ And I don't want your pity I just want somebody near me ‘ bc we all love a bit of mitski when we are feeling the self isolation creeping in
Fruity or herbal teas? fruity teas only! or rather i drink fruit tisanes! but if you mean actual tea then herbal, i only drink peppermint tea
What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? fruits basket! everyone watch the reboot
That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? all the books i read for class sucked but medea wasnt so bad
Do you match your socks? only when theyre very fun patterned socks, and even then sometimes i will match them to the wrong pair but the same pattern, aka my double watermelon combo (i have a pair of green socks w watermelons and a pair of black socks w watermelons so)
Have you ever been horseback riding? no and i never will because i am fucking terrified of horses
What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) uh.... uh i mean im not sure if it counts as a phase but i was stupid into vampires (to the point of me and my friends constructing the intricate theory that our teacher was a vampire and we had to kill her by the time we graduated (she was not and we did not and i hate all of those people now) i was just the weird conspiracy kid i guess, we used to spend every lunch staring across the oval at a house we were SURE an alien lived in (it was just a plastic bag being rustled by a fan)
Have you ever been to jail? bkdnbrb god no
What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? im a lazy susan
Puzzles? i cant solve a rubiks cube but give me a 2000 piece jigsaw and ill sit there for 6 hours trying to solve it
You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? oh this is tough..... orange juice, the fancy kind but with no bits in it, i used to like the bits but these days i just want a clean juice experience
What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? ,,,,,,the ya fiction section, i never buy anything from there but i like to see if series i read as a teenager ever got new instalments after i stopped liking them
What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? how to sleep like a normal person
Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? uh, it depends! lizzo or my playlist of musicals! (which is literally just starkid/tcb stuff)
Where could someone find you in a museum? i could literally be anywhere, probably in front of some old piece though, just staring for an hour bc im struck by the majesty of it (and my legs probably locked up so i couldnt move anyway)
What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? so i have a nice white button up and some really nice jeans i just got, and my suspenders, and my cool blue heels that i know i cant wear bc my legs cant handle walking in heels anymore, but it would look cool am i right
Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? i look up at my roof which is almost entirely covered in glow in the dark stars and then stare into the camera (i wish every day that my roof was like the roof of the healthy harold van, i still have fucking dreams of that beautiful ceiling)
If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? non traditional? id want a lizard that could curl round my shoulders like a leathery scarf
Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? i dont have any photos on my wall so art by default
You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? i just want the pensive emoji tattooed in the small of my back so if i wear a crop top everyone has to suffer with me
Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with fuck superheroes they suck, can i hang out with jason todd red hood style
Lakes, rivers, or oceans? oceans, i want to go to the beach so fucking bad
Favorite mid-2000s song i dont really have a Big Favorite but like..... i constantly thank god for esteban
How do you dress when you’re home alone? ive been in the same sweatpants and old paint shirt i got from my painting and decorating course for three days
Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? armchair closest to the kitchen, perfect to make a quick escape if dad comes in
Knives or swords? knives, i dont have the upper body strength for swords
A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving? oh uh run away with me by crj, *bwoooooooo buhnuhnuuuuuu buhnuhnuuuuuhhh buhnuhnuuuuhhhhh*
Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL BUT SPECIFICALLY ONLY CERTAIN PARTS FROM EACH OF THEM BC COLLECTIVELY THEY SUCK BUT PARTS OF THEM ARE PERFECT
Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? no caption i dont want people to really acknowledge that i post things
Name a classic Vine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anQds9PQ7CA
What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? hash browns hash browns hash browns ONLY
How do you top your ice cream? god its been so long since ive been able to eat ice cream.... with the reeses peanut butter ice cream shell topping
Do you like Jello? jelly is the pinnacle of our society and i wish i were eating it right now
What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did? i wish i had a picture of myself and my partner so i could set it as my phone lock screen (that or i wish i had a picture of me and a friend i really dearly miss bc i have pics of her in my phone but not of us together and i want some but i cant bring myself to say so)
How are you at climbing trees? theres a tree in my front yard i used to be able to hang off but nowadays i think id hurt myself just trying to lift my nasty meat sack off the ground trying
#long post#christ that took like 3 hours#i dont know things about myself#thanks for asking though#Anonymous
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I'M GONNA DO IT TO EM' ALL ASKS THAT YOU REBLOG TONIGHT TILL 10 AM TOMORROW.... DO THEM!!!!
Hey, you had to do it to ‘em! Here they are starting with the most recent.
“Weird asks that say a lot”
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?
Coffee mugs because you can use them for everything. Teacups are too small for a proper cuppa.
2. chocolate bars or lollipops?
Chocolate bars always.
3. bubblegum or cotton candy?
Bubblegum, which I miss so much. I haven’t had it in over 2 years bc of my braces
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
I didn’t go to public school but all the adults who dealt with me said I was sociable and tried to get everyone to do the group projects but no one listened so I ended up sitting alone reading and quietly doing the project.
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?
Glass BOTTLES make it taste superior.
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?
Pastel boho preppy goth best describes my style.
7. earbuds or headphones?
Earbuds, but only rubber tipped ones. The plastic ones never fit in my ears. Also headphones never cover my whole ear right. :/
8. movies or tv shows?
TV shows keep my attention span better.
9. favorite smell in the summer?
Brewing thunderstorms.
10. game you were best at in p.e.?
None. But trampoline if I had to pick.
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?
Scrambled eggs, peanut butter toast, and some kind of fruit.
12. name of your favorite playlist?
My main one is Things You Love. My one for writing is Queen And Country, and my other two favorites are Summer Songs and A Queen Knows How To Fight A War.
13. lanyard or key ring?
Key ring, lanyards get in the way.
14. favorite non-chocolate candy?
Swedish Fish or Sour Patch Kids.
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
OH MAN. To Kill A Mockingbird, The Great Gatsby, Fahrenheit 451, The Grapes Of Wrath, and The Handmaid’s Tale were definitely my top 5 in English class.
16. most comfortable position to sit in?
Curled up sideways in an armchair with my legs slung over the arm. Sitting normally sucks.
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?
Either pair of my black boots, or my pink floral Skechers that I wear to work.
18. ideal weather?
60 degrees, cloudy, windy, with a chance of rain.
19. sleeping position?
On my right side, arms around a fluffy pillow, one leg out straight and the other drawn up with my knee to my chest.
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
Laptop. I’m trying to exercise my hand and wrist so I don’t tire as quick of notebook writing, though.
21. obsession from childhood?
History, Nancy Drew books, Harry Potter, and ghost stories.
22. role model?
The person I am but don’t think I am.
23. strange habits?
Pulling my shirt collar up over my nose and mouth/putting it in my mouth and chewing on it.
24. favorite crystal?
Amethyst, my birthstone! Close second is blue goldstone. (Have you ever seen it? It looks like the universe. I have a worrystone made of blue goldstone and it’s one of my prized possessions.)
25. first song you remember hearing?
Something from church probably. Outside of church probably one of these: If I Had A Hammer // Peter, Paul and Mary, Puff The Magic Dragon // Peter, Paul and Mary, Scarborough Fair // Simon & Garfunkel, The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald // Gordon Lightfoot.
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?
Sit in the shade.
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
Drink tea, read, and play either Pokemon or Nancy Drew and the Clue Benders Society on my 3DS.
28. five songs to describe you?
The Pines // Roses & Revolutions, I Am Here // Pink, Walk Me Home // Pink, Call Home // Heathers (not the musical), Traveler’s Song // Aviators
29. best way to bond with you?
Talk to me about history, crime, musicals, books, or tv shows
30. places that you find sacred?
Natural swamps. Libraries. Old, overgrown gardens. Anywhere historic. Pine forests at dusk. Anywhere under a clear night sky.
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?
A plaid shirt, black leggings, and black boots with dark neutral lipstick and a black choker.
32. top five favorite vines?
Fre she vocado, BENTLEY NOOOOO, uhhh I sure hope it does, the one of Lin Manuel-Miranda trying to brainstorm, and this bitch empty YEEt
33. most used phrase in your phone?
Idk how to find this out
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?
Idk if this is just a local thing here but WOW ITS NATURESTONE
35. average time you fall asleep?
12-1 nowadays.
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?
I can haz cheezburger
37. suitcase or duffel bag?
Depends. Suitcase for things like my laptop that are better protected than in a duffel bag, but duffel bag otherwise because they’re easier to carry.
38. lemonade or tea?
TEAAAAA
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?
Both please
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
My house? We had a safe word when we did math. It was “quokka.” If we got overwhelmed we’d say it and then stop and look at pictures of quokkas.
41. last person you texted?
My friend and coworker.
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?
Jacket pockets.
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?
Cardigan or hoodie
44. favorite scent for soap?
Lavender
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
Fantasy. It takes me a bit to get into fantasy books usually, but sci-fi is hard to follow and superhero is mostly predictable.
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?
Fuzzy pants and a t shirt
47. favorite type of cheese?
Muenster, parmesan, or goat cheese
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
Raspberry
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
“I have no country to fight for. My country is the earth, and I am a citizen of this world.” - Eugene V. Debs
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?
A weird local political ad a couple years back.
51. current stresses?
My recent breakup, an overnight shift I work on Wednesday night, and trying to find time to go out to a corn maze with my friend.
52. favorite font?
Baskerville or Georgia.
53. what is the current state of your hands?
Covered in small cuts and scrapes from work, nails picked short, black nail polish mostly peeled off.
54. what did you learn from your first job?
babysitting job: Kids suck never have more than one. Retail job: being on your fee it hardddd
55. favorite fairy tale?
Beauty and the Beast or Rapunzel
56. favorite tradition?
Looking at Halloween decorations
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?
Cutting, being manipulated by my dad, and letting other people make me believe I wasn’t good enough (still working on that one)
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
Writing, puzzle-solving, singing, and calligraphy
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
“Oh shit waddup”
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
One of those preppy gothic private school animes with a dark secret lurking around the corner
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
Book: “Ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance. You have to work at it.” - The Handmaid’s Tale. Movie: “It’s not about deserve. It’s about what you believe. And I believe in love.” - Wonder Woman. TV Show: “I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself.” - Doctor Who.
62. seven characters you relate to?
Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Remus Lupin, Richard Gansey III, Blue Sargent, Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury.
63. five songs that would play in your club?
Same five that I said describe me.
64. favorite website from your childhood?
Webkinz and the old American Girl site circa 2009.
65. any permanent scars?
One down my chest from heart surgery as a baby, lots from self harm on my arms/legs, some on my left knee from falling as a kid, and one on the back of my right heel from being pecked by a goose at the fair when I was 11.
66. favorite flower(s)?
Sunflowers, roses, and dahlias.
67. good luck charms?
Myself.
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
Ranch anything.
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?
Jellyfish have no brains and no heart.
70. left or right handed?
I’m third generation left handed!
71. least favorite pattern?
Vertical stripes.
72. worst subject?
Math.
73. favorite weird flavor combo?
Wendy’s fries and chocolate frosty.
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?
7. Usually I just ignore it because I have a “high pain tolerance” (which means I like to put myself through minor pains because I think I deserve it)
75. when did you lose your first tooth?
Age 5. I was trying to blow up an inflatable ball and it came out.
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
ALL POTATOES EXCEPT POTATO SALAD
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?
Violets.
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?
Neither, both suck equally.
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?
Never had a school id so I guess the license
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
Earth tones for me
81. fireflies or lightning bugs?
...They are literally the same thing
82. pc or console?
PC
83. writing or drawing?
Writing. I absolutely cannot draw.
84. podcasts or talk radio?
Podcasts, talk radio is so obnoxious.
84. barbie or polly pocket?
Barbie. The clothes are easier to take on and off. I used to accidentally rip polly pocket clothes all the time.
85. fairy tales or mythology?
Mythology. I like it because it explains things, it’s creation stories, its origins. Fairy tales are just fantasies or cautionary tales.
86. cookies or cupcakes?
Cookies.
87. your greatest fear?
Rejection, drowning, and clowns.
88. your greatest wish?
To be a semi-successful author and historian.
89. who would you put before everyone else?
My mom.
90. luckiest mistake?
Not succeeding in killing myself!
91. boxes or bags?
Bags.
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?
Dim lamps if they have yellow bulbs. I hate white lights. And also fairy lights yes please.
93. nicknames?
Ellie, Ell, Little Lion, Lioness.
94. favorite season?
FALLLLL
95. favorite app on your phone?
Tumblr, Spotify, or Instagram.
96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?
6.
98. favorite historical era?
Revolutionary War-era America or late Victorian England.
THIS GOT REALLY LONG AND I DONT WANNA HIT THE TEXT BLOCK LIMIT SO IMMA DO ALL THE HALLOWEEN ONES SEPARATELY, MAYBE IN THE MORNING.
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1-100 TELL ME ALL
Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well
1. What is you middle name?
Jesse
2. How old are you?
22
3. When is your birthday?
dec 9
4. What is your zodiac sign?
sagittarius
5. What is your favorite color?
purples
6. What’s your lucky number?
9
7. Do you have any pets?
no
8. Where are you from?
bc canada. my great grandparents are from russia
9. How tall are you?
5 something
10. What shoe size are you?
7?
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
3 that i actually use
12. What was your last dream about?
i dont remember my most recent one but i had a banger of a dream i described in another post
13. What talents do you have?
i think expressing myself, or music, i have some talent that needs discipline
14. Are you psychic in any way?
well i am a spiritual person, in a way. and growing up in a toxic drama filled family, i have Developed the Skill of guessing how people are feeling and what they are gonna do. and i analyze dreams. so not psychic but i am really interested and intuitive whats goin on in there
15. Favorite song?
for some reason https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oilVq8-F4_Q colours by roosevelt ive been obsessed with lately i just loop that shit. loop loop loop. blaringit into my ears and speedwalking down thestreet. the beat.!!!! i feel like I took all the colours
16. Favorite movie?
spiderverse. i really enjoyed always be my maybe.
17. Who would be your ideal partner?
someone who doesnt make me feel like im Too Much
18. Do you want children?
not RIGHT NOW
19. Do you want a church wedding?
i have no idea actually. id want a special wedding definitely.
20. Are you religious?
yes, i honestly feel like i just come like this, i dont go by any books and i dont want to be associated with christians. if i be too religious i start getting the Bad Feelings
21. Have you ever been to the hospital?
yes visiting sick relatives. and one in a psyche ward.
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?
i got a parking ticket
23. Have you ever met any celebrities?
no. maybe i did and i had no idea who they were because id never heard of them
24. Baths or showers?
showers.
25. What color socks are you wearing?
alien socks that are green and black
26. Have you ever been famous?
no. what does that even mean !!!!
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?
yes because money but noooooo. its hard when one person definitely doesnt like me. if im famous some people just wont like me and theres going to be more of them
28. What type of music do you like?
stuff with electric guitars in it. funk. bops. i cant get enough lately
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
no
30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
one. and sometimes NONE. i dont fucking know why its just more comfortable. id lie down on a floor and pass out
31. What position do you usually sleep in?
i usually cant fall asleep unless im on my face with my arms tucked under me for warmpth and general log shape. after that though its chaos. dreamin
32. How big is your house?
BIG!!!!!! so many rooms. so many people.
33. What do you typically have for breakfast?
on a Functional day, cereal. not because its my favourite thing but it doesnt require a lot of attention and its easiest to tolerate. my appetite is just. like this
34. Have you ever fired a gun?
HELL no.
35. Have you ever tried archery?
in my child days i shot my hair elastics around and pretended i was fighting aliens. this is definitely archery.
36. Favorite clean word?
i dont really think about words like that. pizza is a nice word.
37. Favorite swear word?
bitch. its really fun to say.
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?
not all that long. if i was up the entire night i am usually sleeping in midday no matter where i am. ive disappointed many teachers. its called not caring.
39. Do you have any scars?
yes, but theres no dramatic stories to them, just me not leaving scratches and bites alone as a kid. they look kind of cool though. and theyre so mysterious. youd think id have scars from self harm but no.
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
i believe so...
41. Are you a good liar?
yes, when i am 100% like morally committed to lying.
42. Are you a good judge of character?
NO. my thought process is: its rude to assume someone is going to behave badly, and they will be offended and have hurt feelings if you anticipate that. i have to like. treat everyone with exactly the same respect unless theyre a dick. otherwise its being judgmental. and it ends up as naïveté. but im okay with that . the price of being a good person
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?
i could do a british one once i guess LOL and it looks like now ive Absorbed a mexican accent but i never really try to talk in other accents
44. Do you have a strong accent?
i dont know how to answer this
45. What is your favorite accent?
idk i like new things i havent heard before. and thinking about how other languages work. theres a lot of different accents at my work and i honestly enjoy listening to them
46. What is your personality type?
that.... INFJ. see. psychic
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?
one of the gay jackets
48. Can you curl your tongue?
dont think so
49. Are you an innie or an outie?
innie
50. Left or right handed?
left
51. Are you scared of spiders?
depends. i had these big house spiders in my dungeon at my parents house, and id just be “hi” and set them free. but if i see one where im not expecting it i might yell a lot and tell everyone and run around and then set it free
52. Favorite food?
tacos from my old work. i was indeed. screaming, lost in the sauce. i waited until i was away from the restaurant because i knew all my dignity would vanish
53. Favorite foreign food?
idk... i need to eat more curry. i need more curryin my life. bring it on.
54. Are you a clean or messy person?
clean
55. Most used phrased?
“this slaps” i feel like ive been saying that a lot
56. Most used word?
I
57. How long does it take for you to get ready?
a whole entire fucking hour (when i wake up) otherwise 5min
58. Do you have much of an ego?
i do, but i hide it.
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?
chomp chomp. i am not a patient man.
60. Do you talk to yourself?
yes, when i know no ones around, or when im not worried about seeming like a crazy person at work
61. Do you sing to yourself?
nah
62. Are you a good singer?
no. i can sing and it sound okay. nice even. but good??? like beautiful?????? no.
63. Biggest Fear?
someone dying, natural disaster, new illness
64. Are you a gossip?
maybe. i feel like i have the Tendencies and then im like “am i being a bad person right now”. i want to know the deets though.
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?
i Simply Dont Have the Attention for Those
66. Do you like long or short hair?
BOTH . long hair is more fun to draw. short hair is hot
67. Can you name all 50 states of America?
fuck no. why would i. fuck off. i dont care about your states.
68. Favorite school subject?
ART ART AR T
69. Extrovert or Introvert?
introerverte
70. Have you ever been scuba diving?
no
71. What makes you nervous?
people who are not Definitely Cheerful
72. Are you scared of the dark?
no. unless i think about things to scare myself on purpose
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?
no unless they need to know. because im not a fucking ANIMAL
74. Are you ticklish?
depends. i can be not ticklish if im determined.
75. Have you ever started a rumor?
i dont think so... i started a rumor i was from mars
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?
maybe i was supposed to train some girls and then i probably didnt do a great job and they didnt listen. they say my job now is somewhat authority and im like...... ok......
77. Have you ever drank underage?
no
78. Have you ever done drugs?
no
79. Who was your first real crush?
someone whos OUTTA MY LIFE
80. How many piercings do you have?
two? i got them pierecd at claires lmao and i didnt get an infection because im so salty. then i took them out because they were from claries
81. Can you roll your Rs?“
hell yes
82. How fast can you type?
so fucking fast. faster than my work finder helper. im fast im very fast
83. How fast can you run?
IM VERY FAST
84. What color is your hair?
orange
85. What color is your eyes?
green
86. What are you allergic to?
im still trying to figure that out. whatever it is gives me hives
87. Do you keep a journal?
yes. so i can get better at handwriting and just talking in general and hear what my voice sounds like. and to have a space away from other peoples needs and pressures
88. What do your parents do?
my mom is a stay at home mom and my dad shoots pop bottles into the sky
89. Do you like your age?
sure
90. What makes you angry?
everything. cabbage. i swore about cabbage for a long time the other day. i am just full of anger.
91. Do you like your own name?
YES. i mean i chose it i better. honestly my first name ......... i feel self conscious about it sometimes. i think it was the only name for me though. it wasnt the ideal most wonderful namei could find because those didnt fit, it was MY name.
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?
im going to have two sons and im naming them brick and rusty.
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?
yeah, i want a boy a girl
94. What are you strengths?
my strengths doing all 100 questions, this is serious muscles
95. What are your weaknesses?
the exhaustion of jumping from one question to the next especially when they are vague. im not complaining this was my idea
96. How did you get your name?
i pfound it in the baby name book and i was lie “hey yyy, i saw that name in black beauty, lets use it for my gay coded villain what the hell!”
97. Were your ancestors royalty?
no but i did have some ancestors who lives i a mansions andhad fucking SERVANTS. before you call me problematic my other part of family was like sewing things and not going to school
98. Do you have any scars?
weve been over this. when im older im going to get a cool scar fighting a dragon
99. Color of your bedspread?
pink, white, blue
100. Color of your room?
white
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Another stupid long post about how I don't know my own fucking gender
This is honestly just copied and pasted from a yt comment I made on an older vid and I figured I'd share it here bc tumblr loves this shit I guess lol. God damn I've been questioning my gender for so long and ik rn im prob not still in the best position to be thinking about deep life shit like where I am mentally and im dealing with a lot in my life and also very insecure about potentially being trans bc a lot of my friends don't seem like they would be very accepting and my bf is only really into girls. I asked him how he would feel if I was nonbinary or looked like a boy and he just said he wasn't totally sure but he's only attracted to girls :c he's the sweetest bf in existence and im honestly so afraid of losing him, so aside from obviously not wanting to deal with all the other trans shit, I definitely hope im not trans bc I don't wanna lose him. Anyways, ill start with my childhood I guess. I was always super tomboyish. My older sisters (im the youngest sibling btw) were always p tomboyish so maybe I kinda got it from them but I kinda felt like I was more tomboyish than them? I felt like I was the most boyish girl I knew, like even meeting other tomboy girls in elementary school I felt like I couldn't really relate to them or like they couldnt relate to me enough idk. I also remember once making up a song about being like so tomboyish that I was basically a boy or something along those lines and sang it to my best friend at the time who I copied like all the fkin time (it honestly wasnt healthy lmao I didn't have good parents, also I think I started making up songs bc she did that and I wanted to like impress her), but she thought it was stupid and weird so I just forgot about it and moved on. I was embarrassed to even enjoy playing with dolls or play dress up games online and was determined to play masculine games like runescape (even tho I ended up doing girly shit in runescape anyways lmao) and considered myself one of the guys. In 5th grade when I started needing to wear a bra I absolutely didn't want to, tho some girls in my class thought it was weird I didn't wear a bra when they found out and that made me more insecure about it, but since then I've p much only worn sports bras. I have bought some more normal bras bc I wanted to look attractive in them for my SO or whatever but I still highly prefer my sports bras and can't stand wearing the other ones unless I have to bc my sports bras aren't clean lmfao. I always hated talking about genitalia and breasts n shit but that could just be bc of how I was raised and how my family was always so strict and such radical Christians and anything sex related was a sin, idk if its dysphoria or not. I've never rlly liked my chest and hated showing cleavage like so god damn much and still do but maybe that's the same thing or maybe I just want smaller boobs and that's it idk??? Like I'd want to appear to have a completely flat chest at least, idk if I'd want to actually like have a guy chest or not? Also huge issue with ppl seeing me naked or touching my boobs but again idk if that's gender related or just a normal issue I have. Tho I had a friend in high school (a girl, a very weird lewd girl) who would occasionally grope my chest randomly and it wasn't a huge issue but kinda made me uncomfortable and more aware of my chest. I really like when I wear big hoodies or when I lean over so my shirt kinda poofs out and it looks like I have a flat chest underneath. Though im not super uncomfortable with my boobs, like normally ill want nothing to do with them but I don't mind my SO touching them especially if they're really into it. I wouldn't say im rlly dysphoric about between my legs either, like yeah I think its weird and I hate monthlies and stuff but I think that's normal. I think if i woke up one day and had a dick I would be fine with it, I'd prob even enjoy it tbh lmao. I once had a dream that i was, well, a male dog like,,, ya know, with a female dog, and not to sound weird af (hey we were both dogs ok) but I think i kinda enjoyed it? I don't really remember any other dreams where I remember actually having a dick or feeling it but I've had several dreams as a male person, but p much all of them were like, I was seeing through a character's eyes or smth, not really that I was a guy, so idk if that's normal. I have the same dreams about being other girl characters, I'd say its split about 50/50. Because of this game community im in, a lot of ppl assume im a guy, and a lot of people still think im a guy and I haven't really bothered to correct them but idk if I find it more enjoyable bc its funny or if I enjoy not being referred to as female for once. I'll admit I feel most comfortable referred to as they/them, like without a doubt, if I could go by only 1 set of pronouns for the rest of my life it would be they/them. But ik that's not enough to call myself trans. I definitely wouldn't want to be 100% male. Like if I imagine myself as a grown man vs a grown woman id prob choose to be a woman. I don't like my voice but I think that's mostly just bc I sound 10 years younger than I actually am, and wouldn't really want a deep/masculine voice. Like a "tomboy" voice would be fine if that makes sense? I don't want facial hair or want to have a masculine body, I like that I have curves and soft skin and small hands. Personally I like my hair long bc its soft and people love it, but sometimes I kinda wish I had short hair and could pass as a boy. Like I'd wanna be a typical cute kpop boy ngl lmfao. I like the whole cute androgynous/feminine boy look and wish I could pull it off. Tho I also like really girly things sometimes and am okay being seen as a girl, i just want to be cute and attractive. Ik whether im trans or not I like being a mix of feminine and masculine, tho I admit in the past I've been kinda insecure bc I used to be super sure I was nb and thought me liking girly things and wanting to still havd long hair and wear girly clothes made me seem like "not trans enough" or whatever. But i guess here I am questioning myself again anyways. If I am nb, it sucks that ill never really be able to be openly myself and all but I've accepted by now that I kinda have to pick a binary and choose what I want to be seen as for the rest of my life, and im ok with being female. There are some things I dont like about my body whether they're really gender related or not but I can't afford to transition and wouldn't like most of the effects of T and am afraid of surgery and not sure I want top surgery enough to ever get it anyways, but I think if we lived in a perfect world and I could magically change my body at will and I wasnt afraid of judgment or being unattractive or whatever, I'd probably want to look androgynous and itd be cool to be able to change my genitalia at will lmao. If I had to choose 1 genitalia over the over I honestly have no idea what I'd choose but I have no desire to ever get bottom surgery, at the same time tho I honestly wanna someday get surgery or w/e to never be able to get pregnant. I just could not handle pregnancy or giving birth and I don't even like babies and breast feeding sounds awful so if I ever have kids they will be adopted 100% and most likely be older and like not newborn babies lmfao, babies are honestly so weird to me and they stink and cry and they're so fragile and im so afraid of like dropping them when I hold them lmao. But I like my nieces and nephews and I like being the cool aunt (is there a gender neutral version of aunt/uncle?) who lets them use my art supplies and helps them do fun stuff even if I get tired of them sometimes lol. Idk if that's gender related either but yeah I guess. This if kind of a more recent thing but I often say I'd make a great bf kinda as a joke bc of how I am in relationships like being the stereotypical sweet bf type who makes things for their partner a lot and wants to be their knight in shining armor and their protector and all that, but again prob not rlly trans related lmao just thought I'd throw that out there I guess. So when I was 17 was when I really started getting into trans stuff, prior to that I mostly just learned from my parents that trans ppl were "against god" and all that bs, and eventually started realizing lgbt+ isn't as bad as my family said and later realized I was bi. But anyways I met an agender person online when i was 17ish and I'd never heard it before and thought it was really interesting and asked them how you know you're agender bc after hearing their explanation of it i thought it described how I felt, but ofc they weren't transmed and just described it as being like a deep feeling or whatever and since then i started calling myself agender (and switched between a few labels but basically nonbinary) until my transmed friend told me I was ridiculous and that I wasn't trans, and honestly he was a huge dick but im a huge pushover lmao and I thought well he's trans so he must know what he's talking about, and though I felt discouraged about it I stopped calling myself nonbinary. Then I began questioning it again after not too long and basically since then I've been questioning my gender off and on. I'm now 22 and god I fucking hope im cis but also I feel like a part of me doesn't want to be cis if that makes sense?? Idk if that's because I don't like being a girl for some weird deep reason I don't know about despite being pretty sure I've gotten a lot of my feelings and their reasons behind them figured out, or if it's because I am trans and dont want to force myself to pretend im a girl 100% forever. At the very least, whatever the fuck my gender is, I want to continue going by they\them wherever I can and pretending to be a boy to strangers online and I'd love to cosplay male characters and bind and occasionally just dress masculine for the hell of it and probably wear sports bras for the rest of my life. I feel like in a way I cang possibly be trans because I can live with all of those things and be fairly comfortable still being seen as female for the rest of my life. But idk, I have bpd and other mental shit so sometimes im not great with my feelings (tho I do try really hard to identify all of my feelings/emotions and stuff) but at the same time bpd can cause weird identity shit so maybe its just a weird mix of a bunch of crap and im not actually trans but just weird and tomboyish enough to question my gender for 5 years and still be unsure. Also I know a lot of ppl suggest talking to a therapist/psychologist/whatever professional and trust me I would love to but I can't currently and am unsure when ill be able to bc they're expensive and I live in the middle of fucking nowhere so finding a decent therapist around where I live rn is going to be very difficult. Also, I have fucking crippling social anxiety lmao like I'd be so afraid to open up about this stuff even to a professional. So if anyone could suggest anything online that could help that would be amazing <3 I have done quite a bit of research on this topic to try to figure myself out but it's been a while and I didn't look too deep into online therapy or w/e but im completely open to advice or suggestions. Man I just wish u could like get ur fkin brain scanned and itd tell you what your gender is lmfao why does this have to be so complicated smh my head
#Trans#nonbinary#nb#genderqueer#gender questioning#transmed#pls help me lmao I hate my brain sm#also im so sorry if this post is scuffed af#im on mobile#its 4 am I cba
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Fix-it Leo: Katie / KG
welcome to something im tenatively calling “fix-it leo”, where i take my really old OCs and try to make sense of them! i’ve previously done this with Shadowy, which you can read here. seeing as im redrawing & “bringing back” a few other old ocs i figured id make this a series of talking about things! unlike the Shadowy one this doesnt have pictures beyond the initial ref bc i dont want to murder my hand and im also not sure how to draw some of this
today’s subject: Katie! also known as KG.
KG’s from 2010-ish, so some time after Shadowy but before the Shattered Worlds rework. to be as specific as possible, he’s from a RP setting that people that have known me closely have at least heard mentioned, if not seen snippets of it outright: KL, the massive crossover including any character and setting me & my friends wanted to RP.
as a self-insert character in crossover hell, Katie is VERY weird.
it was really hard for me to find info on Katie, because i actually had a bunch of OCs using that name that were my direct self-inserts for RP & story purposes both in and outside of KL. the unifying idea was that he was kinda just Me but in a fictional universe... and, apparently according to what info i DID find, all of the various Katies were. actually the same person, just in various conflicting situations with various conflicting backstories? so me stitching it all together got kinda weird. i did find a starting point though, so, uh... here we go!
as a general overview, Katie is pretty much just me. autistic, ADHD, likes videogames and art, bad social anxiety conflicting with desperately needing validation from everyone around him. he also has a very short temper and no volume control, which was usually a comedy thing but could also lead to him lashing out and doing/saying things he regrets, mostly hurting his friends. as a result he was kinda unpopular in his hometown... except for a small handful of friends he went to school with.
one night, he decides to go camp out with his friends to watch a meteor shower cause hes pretty fascinated by comets & shit like that. one of his friends, Elson, was acting pretty weird about it but Katie’s too excited to take much note of it up until the meteor shower “starts early” and Elson runs off into the woods. confused and startled, he gives chase. then, uh, the fucking apocalypse happens.
a lot of plot happens that im skipping over bc this is gonna be long enough as it is, but it gets revealed that Elson is actually an incognito alien named Elohim and an alien invasion is happening and wiping out civilization, and Katie is just. running out of sanity. being a main character SUCKS. he has a tragic backstory now, his friend (who he kind of had a crush on?) is an alien and is partially responsible for his tragic backstory, they join a rebellion after confirming “yeah your family’s dead as hell” and go to space, and finally find out that the leader of the aliens got a case of “jewelry makes you evil”.
they save the day obvs, with the help of some other people they ran into, and Katie has a moment of “well, fuck” bc his hometown is still extremely exploded and his family is still extremely dead and he’s like .5 miliseconds away from a mental breakdown. he then has a conversation that goes roughly like this:
person that helped them bust out of alien jail: hey, i think i know someplace you can stay katie: my house exploded person: cmon trust me
and then it turns out that that guy is actually Ninten and he’d just helped save the world with a fictional character, and before he has any opportunity to go “wait, what” he gets pulled through a portal by him and ends up somewhere totally different. more specifically, he’s now in the Earthbound universe, and his brain is going “[dial up noises]” a whole lot bc its not like his life was weird ENOUGH now he’s just... ditched his home reality??? with Ninten’s help??? and Ninten’s taking all of it in stride and ends up explaining the multiverse to him and that he’s one of the guys who ended up with the ability to worldhop and had stopped by Katie’s universe because he knew the possessed alien guy. he’s also apparently used to having to help people acclimate to massive paradigm shifts caused by multiversal fuckery.
so Katie’s just kinda trying to wrap his head around this, but takes Ninten up on his offer to go get to meet people and he goes to the Nowhere Islands! which was like, basically the hub location of KL. and then things get EXTRA surreal for Katie, because like... he used to write fanfic, and come up with story ideas that he daydreamed about a lot before everything exploded, and he bumps into Kurousu who is his OC. and there’s a lot of “UHHHH”-ing but he plays it off and befriends her, and its finally starting to sink in that yeah, he’s hanging out in this super weird crossover reality now, and he tries to make the most of it!
then some... weird things start happening. Tank, Joseph, and Vince make a jump to the Persona universe to do some plot stuff and run into Katie there, where he’s apparently joined SEES? except the last time they’d seen him, he’d been acting as a lackey to one of the arc villains because of a FMian from the Megaman universe screwing with him and taking advantage of his trauma to create a “new” Gemini Spark. and they start to write it off as “well i guess he’s like Tails where there’s some AUs of him running around” except... he recognizes them each time? but looks different and has different backstories and nothing really adds up. the next time a protagonist sees him, it’s Artemis post-getting turned into a Nobody finding Katie’s Nobody, Teixak, who apparently was very excited about getting to meet Roxas... despite, according to himself, having been living in Twilight Town for as long as he could remember. while also being very aware and very confused that that contradicts everything else about him.
teixak: eeee you mean i get to meet roxas?! he’s my favourite kingdom hearts character!! >w< rasemtix: ...you do realize you just told me youre from this universe, right? you were just explaining to me about how you lived here with leixand until the shadows attacked you two and stole your hearts. teixak: eh..? hm. ............Hm. but.... hm.
meanwhile on Katie’s end of things, he gets his heart stuffed back in his body and he reconciles with his externalized FMian-induced evil side and various other things from various other worlds, but everything feels weird and disjointed. he remembers attending school at Gekkougan, but also remembers living in Echo Ridge, but also remembers Twilight Town, but also remembers living in a boring world that got invaded by aliens where also all of this was just videogames and books and animes and OCs. and then things start getting weirder for him. he makes a joke to Artemis about “hey, remember when we got in a big fight cause i hit you with a sign?” and he doesn’t remember it. he teases Ninten about something personal and Ninten freezes up and asks him how he knows that, and Katie gets confused because he told him. he has an even more personal talk with T1, and then has the same talk later but with slightly different words. and it’s starting to look like it’s not just “various Katies”, it’s Katie also dealing with various... varieties of everyone else, and he’s pretty much spinning a wheel on “what version of events am i in today?”
he finally gets an answer after a while-- something went really weird and really wrong when Ninten first brought him into the KL multiverse. the Katie that told Gomess about the Andromeda Key is the same Katie that joined SEES is the same Katie that got his heart stolen is the same Katie that got rescued from an apocalypse, but he’s sort of... existing simultaneously in different realities with slight “adjustments” to his personal history depending on what universe he’s encountered in. he also exists “outside of canon”, so some of the weirder memories he has are from rewrites or scrapped plotlines or noncanon moments that sometimes clip into canon when theyre not supposed to. apocalypse!Katie is the “primary”/original Katie, and that’s where all his weird meta knowledge comes from.
it’s... really confusing, and nobody really “gets” it, least of all Katie himself. he just knows that he’s ended up with a bunch of cool powers, although he’s not really sure what he’s doing and has been a villain at least two universes. he also has a severe case of main character-itis (hence getting a Persona, getting his heart stolen, etc), and still isnt sure how to tell if he’s interacting with the “canon” versions of everybody or not. he’s at least unable to cause weird bizarre paradoxes by interacting with himself; trying to visit one of the universes he has an “echo” in just causes a perspective switch to the resident Katie. Katie also has access to all of his abilities as long as he’s not in a universe with a resident Katie; apocalypse!Katie has no abilities at all, starforce!Katie only has his FMian transformation, kh!Katie can only use his Keyblade, etc. this only starts being a thing after he “clicks” with his new existence.
he also has various outfits and aesthetics depending on universe, with the one i drew being his “outside canon“/default one. he gets cat ears! and Outsider eyes. Katie also has a bad habit of stealing things from universes he visits, and as a result has a collection of random things that he really shouldnt.
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i did an art summary so now im doing a fic summary. i was tagged by @jamthedingus also!! ive never done one of these before!! lets go!!!
Rest (13106)
Keith & Lance's Island Adventure (20631)
Atlantis (10014 words)
The Way to a Man’s Heart (6858 words)
nobody's business (2096 words)
leave, and take (557 words)
dead girl walking (1661 words)
the course of fate (1039 words)
who ya gonna call (465 words)
come here often? (806 words)
til kingdom come (1950 words)
stars in the sky (pt 2) (5404 words)
a song of falling (630 words)
Eyes to the Sky (3683 words)
Feet on the Ground (4050 words)
Divergence (6669 words)
homecoming (1426 words)
Window of Opportunity (11144 words)
along that wilderness of glass (3801 words)
string theory (2327 words)
Katt Week (1062 words)
The Pining-Plant (3860 words)
at the end of many worlds (21684 words)
you're my home (19646 words)
Believe Me (3177 words)
Starchild (3568 words)
Summer Heat (2285 words)
third time's the charm (5349 words)
Blackbird (59546 words)
The Sixth Planet (9444 words)
all the infinite realities (1197 words)
Total Fics: 31! (plus one i posted anonymously lmao) Total Words: 229999! (except parts of string theory and the sixth planet were actually posted last year... but still, what a number)
more under the cut!
Ship/character breakdown: i didnt filter out my prompt collection or abandoned wips here so /shrug Ship breakdown:
klance - 6 sheith - 5 shance - 5 katt - 4 heith - 3 pallura - 2 and one each of plance, kallura, allurance, shatt, shkatt, kidge, kidgance, and shunk. and keiths parents lol. let it never be said i am not a multishipper.
and i know gen isnt a ship but it tied with klance at 6 (plus whatevers in the prompt collection) which was a surprise
Character breakdown: man if theres a way to get ao3 to show me ALL the stats, i dont know it. but.
keith - 25 (shocker) shiro - 23 lance - 21 pidge - 17 hunk - 16 allura - 12 matt - 12 and then coran and sam are at 4, and zarkon ats 3 and presumably many others are at 3 or less
Characters that had the main focus: well ~9 were from keiths pov, and ~5 each from shiro and lances povs. i think i also had ~5 from multiple points of view. its safe to say that keith has my heart tho lol
Specifics:
Best/worst title? Best title: i still like “at the end of many worlds.” i weirdly still like “Blackbird” too even if it has nothing to do with anything... Worst title: “Rest.” :/ also like all of the abandoned wips bc i didnt care. and “Keith & Lance's Island Adventure.″ some of my zine fic titles were also... bad. im bad at titles.
Best/worst first line?
Best: Keith & Lance's Island Adventure. ok the title is bad but this line? this really sets the tone for whole fic. you know what youre getting yourself into here.
When Pidge invited Keith to a fully-funded graduation party aboard the Holt family boat (“the smaller one, anyway,” she’d said), this is not exactly what he'd pictured: three of them standing on a wobbly dock, packed bags at their feet, sky cloudy and gray, while the Holt siblings stand on a little ledge off the back of the boat and deny entry.
Worst: ive got two for this lol
at the end of many worlds: even i have to read this a couple times to figure out what i was trying to say. at least you know youre in for pain...
Keith’s mother shows up to interrupt movie night often enough that, this time, Keith almost doesn’t realize anything’s wrong. Almost, because she’s silhouetted by the movie, but she’s clutching her arm and panting for breath, and in the thin edge of light around her he sees a wet and vibrant red.
Divergence: because all your friends being dead is EXACTLY like losing at dodgeball. yeah, theres a reason i abandoned this one.
Hunk always hated playing dodgeball. Not because he was bad at it--though he was--but because he always ended up the last one standing, and therefore the only target for the entire other team. It was due to a tendency to hang unnoticed in the back, he knew, but that didn't change the sickening, empty feeling of looking around and realizing there's no one left but him, and there's no way he can win. Only wait for the inevitable.
This, Hunk decides, is a lot like that, only, like, a billion times worse.
Best/worst last line?
Best: The Pining-Plant. there are a few others that were cute too but this one is also good out of context so
And then the pod swishes open and he's scrambling to catch Pidge as she stumbles out. She clings to his arms to steady herself and his heart swells.
"Falling for me again, huh?" he asks, and she groans loudly.
"Let me go, I'm getting back in the pod," she says, and he laughs. He doesn't let go, and neither does she.
Worst: if im bad at titles, im worse at endings. most are bad. i suspect the ending to “Rest” is terrible but i cant bring myself to even open that shit again so: Believe Me. if weather were a recurring theme in this fic, itd be fine, but as is its just... a weird note to end the fic on lmao
Hunk rocks back on his heels. "We aren't counting this as our official first date, right?"
"I dunno," Keith says, and now he smiles at the rain instead of frowning. It shows no sign of easing up, but whatever—they're soaked anyway. "This seems pretty good to me."
“...All right.” If nothing else, it’ll make a good story. And, Hunk had to admit—he’s pretty happy with how it’s turned out, rain and all.
But next time, he's double-checking the forecast, just in case.
General questions:
Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?
more than i expected! considering ive been in grad school all year!! i wrote about the same amount wordcount-wise in 2017 which i spent only half in school so. idk how i managed it.
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?
the anonymous fic was a surprise but im not gonna talk about that lol. otherwise... nah, its all been my usual stuff.
What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.
blackbird, probably. i like working on that one. summer heat was also fun, id sort of forgotten about it bc it was a zine fic but coming back to it, i really liked it. likewise with third time’s the charm. and i like t6p a lot even if i kinda hate drawing for it :’)
Okay, NOW your most popular story.
depends on your metric. window of opportunity has the most kudos, keith and lance’s island adventure has the most hits, and t6p has the most comments and subscriptions.
Story most underappreciated by the universe?
AT THE END OF MANY WORLDS. oh man i killed myself over that fic. it was important to me. but i think the mcd scared everyone off :’)
Story that could have been better?
i realize “all of them” is kind of a cop out answer but like
Sexiest story?
i have written nothing sexy, ever, in my whole life
Saddest story?
i mean, ateomw. considering all the death. blackbird def has its moments too.
Most fun?
i feel like i answered this in the favorite story q lmao. you’re my home also gets a shoutout, that thing was,, super self-indulgent lmao. and id be lying if i said i didnt have fun with parts of ateomw, even if its mostly sad.
Story with single sweetest moment?
man i write a lot of fluff but so much of you’re my home is just tooth-rotting. heres part of the proposal scene lmao
"Lance!" Keith yelps, barely rescuing the ring from falling into the sand with them. Lance pushes himself up on his arms, silhouetted by the sun and glowing with it.
"Really?" he asks breathlessly.
"Yeah," Keith says, and maybe he should've prepared something to say, that's a thing people do, right? Hell, he's winging it. "I know we can't stay here on Earth forever, 'cause we're paladins, and there's still stuff out there we gotta do. And I know you probably want to stay because this is your home—but you're my home, and if we gotta go, at least you'll have me, good or bad." He grins crookedly. "Or rocket science. Whatever happens, I'll be there."
Hardest story to write?
well t6p gets a shoutout, but its not the writing thats the hard part for that. uhhh ive struggled with parts of blackbird. i remember k&l’s island adventure giving me a LOT of trouble, i think i posted late lol
Easiest/most fun story to write?
anything short uhhh for all the infinite realities, i kind of just sat down the other day (actually i was in bed but) and was like “im gonna write this” and then in the morning i just sat down and wrote it in one go. i dunno if id call it fun, but it was easy. t6p is super fun to write but, as mentioned, drawing it sucks.
Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?
no... my perceptions probably have shifted but not due to anything i wrote in particular. i did talk myself into liking allurance with a prompt fill, though, but im not sure that was 2018...
Most overdue story?
all the infinite realities lmao. at the end of many worlds needed that happy ending. and another shoutout to t6p, because thats been going on over a year and im still nowhere.
Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?
does posting my abandoned wips count? ive still got some of those hanging around... blackbird was a bit of a risk bc my last longfic was written while i was unemployed and out of school, so like i had the time for it, and now i kinda dont. still chugging tho. ateomw b/c of all the death but it turns out i really like writing whump woops. and writing any sort of kissing always feels like a risk bc i suck at it but im getting better lol... i hope...
What are your fic writing goals for next year?
write more! finish things! do more sheith! i really want to work on this sheith longfic i came up with the other day... but i want to get blackbird over with first.
Tagging: eh! do it if you want to!
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85 Questions Game
85 Questions Game ~
i was tagged forever ago by my beautiful wife @sarangtaee i literally havent been on this blog in months sorry
⇢ Rules: Answer these 85 questions about yourself and tag 20 people
Originally posted by mimibtsghost
⇢ Last:
Drink: diet Candada Dry
📱Call: i just ordered chinese food bih
Text Message: three upside down smiley face emojis by the one and only @sarangtaee
Song you listened to: Get on Your Knees by Nikki Minjaj ft. Ariana Grande
Time you 😢: Yesterday watching a documentary about Jonestown
⇢ Ever:
Dated someone twice: yes unfortunately
😘 someone and regretted it: nope
Been cheated on: yep
Lost someone special: by death? thankfully no. in other ways? yes
Gotten drunk and thrown up: no i took 6 jello shots the other day and felt absolutely nothing. one hit from a bong and im faded though explain that science
⇢ In the last year, have you:
Made new friends: yep! and im so happy for it. they are amazing
Fallen out of 💛: actually ive fallen for someone and it sucks
😂 until you 😢: yes
Found out someone was talking about you: yes but not negatively at least to my knowledge
Met someone who changed you: my new friends have made me happier and i like being alive again. id say that is a change
Found out who your friends are: yeah
😘 someone on your Facebook friends list: no, unfortunately
⇢ General:
How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them. I dont friend people i dont know or like
Do you have any pets: i have 3 kitties
Do you want to change your name: i do, id change it to luna
What did you do for your last 🎂: i literally dont remember
What time did you wake up today: 6 am
What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping
What is something you can’t wait for: to meet my soulmate. hopefully i can muster up the courage to tell him i like him
What are you listening to right now: Phil DeFranco tell me the news rundown
Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah i used to work with a guy names tom, he was a hoot and definetly eccentric
Something that gets on your nerves: people that get in other peoples way, humans in general
Most visited website: snapchat and instagram
Hair color: natural medium brown with teal tips
Long or short hair: its medium short atm
What do you like about yourself: my creativity and adventurousness and my empathy
Want any piercings: i have many and id like a couple more
Blood type: A+
Nicknames: Micky, Kenzie, Kizie
Relationship status: single and pining after a boy who only sees me as a friend
Zodiac sign: Cancer Sun, Rising,/Leo Moon
Pronouns: i hate this question
Favorite 📺 show: if i had to choose 1 it would be the office
Tattoos: 2
Right or left handed: right but im kind ambidextrous
Ever had surgery: ive had a few teeth taken out
Piercings: many
Sports: ew
Dream Vacation: south korea, japan, greece, hawaii
Trainers: what are you asking me? i had a personal trainer almost kill me, and i have sneakers?
Eating: fried rice
Drinking: water
I’m about to watch: jessie smiles
Waiting for: Myself to gain some courage to tell my co worker that i like him
Want: my coworker
Get married for: raw, real, supportive love
Career: id like to be a zoologist or an interior designer
Hugs or kisses: neither if they arent from my SO, both if they are
👄 or eyes: eyes, i love eyes. i draw them on everything and i love looking into the eyes of someone i love
Shorter or taller: taller. i like being the little
Older or younger: dont care as long as i like them and they are responsible
Nice arms or stomach: i dont have either, on a guy? arms, *shvers* the guy i like has nice arms with some good subtle veins happenin
Hookup or relationship: relationship, i cant do hookups i got an old civil war era piece of equipment and thats all she wrote
Troublemaker or hesitant: im hesitant and troublemaker are annoying like the paul brothers
⇢ Have you ever:
😘 a stranger: no
Drank hard liquor: vodka? yes
Lost glasses: no
Turned someone down: yeah a couple times
Sex on first date: never
Broken someone’s ️❤️: perhaps?
Had your 💔: too many times, thats why i cant tell the guy i like him. im norma jean
Been arrested: no
😢 when someone died: yes ugh so many times, mostly book movie chatcters but also all those children at Jonestown
Fallen for a friend: yes story of my life
⇢ Do you believe in:
Yourself: no, thanks childhood!
Miracles: yep
💛 at first sight: yes bc i have experienced a version of this. the first time i saw my bestfriend walk through my 7th grade ancient civilizations class, i knew i had known her in a previous life, with absolutely no doubt
😘 on the first date: actually i dont know
Angels: maybe. i dont think they would have fluffy wings and halos though
⇢ Other:
Best friend’s name: im not sure thats for anybody else to know since one of them is @sarangtaee
Eye color: olive green
Favorite Movie: i have so many, harry potter, forest gump, matilda, Guardians of the Galaxy, X-Men and many more
Favorite actor: Evan Peters, Aubrey Plaza
Favorite Food: Japchae, Alfredo pasta, Fried Rice, Pizza, Deviled Eggs, Watermelon, Peaches, Cherries
Extrovert or Introvert: Introvert all the ways
Favorite flower: Daisies, lotus, Sunflowers, dahlias, foxgloves, moonflowers
Favorite Hello 🐈 characters: i dont know what this is asking me sorry
And i will not tag anyone since i barely use this account and i have almost no followers, why did i do this? well i guess i just like talking about myself
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i redid an ask meme that i had originally done ~3 years ago to see the comparison so for archiving purposes im putting it in a lil journal entry here ! i wanna start doing small journal entries again it was fun when i did that
new answers bolded
1) what images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?
my desktop bg is literally just…. a collage of kageyama manga screencaps a h a,,,, and my cellphone bg are drawings some gay drew me like 74724 years ago :v // my desktop rn is actually a background from one of the dmmd routes LMFAO..... idk which one it is but i’ve always liked those bg pics!! my cell lock screen is p5 art and my bg is leopika
2) have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
nooooope // nah
3) what was your last text message?
my phone is dead so i wouldnt be able to tell you lmfao i dont even remember // it was a gif from kelly lol
4) what do you see yourself doing in 10 years?
hopefully working a job i enjoy and making costumes and being happy!! // god i have no idea and it freaks me out... hopefully working,,
5) if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?
hoommee ((or at katsucon tbh)) // at the beach with friends maybe
6) what was your coolest halloween costume?
a white cat probably lmao // i dont think ive ever had a particularly exciting halloween costume but one year i was sharpay from high school musical and i think i peaked then tbh
7) what was your favorite 90s show?
uhhhh….. i didnt really… start watching tv until like… the 2000′s so i really cant tell you man lol // spongebob started in 1999 does that coUNT,
8) who was your last kiss?
(answer redacted) // :/ someone should kiss me so i can change this answer lmao
9) have you ever been stood up?
nope // nah
10) favorite ice cream flavor?
vanilla w/ vanilla oreos ok u need to underst a n d // this hasn’t changed i haven’t had this particular ice cream in a long time but i still stand by it
11) have you been to las vegas?
nahh // nope
12) your favorite pair of shoes?
idk i have these black ones i wear everywhere lol // i have a pair of white sneakers that i refuse to stop wearing now
13) honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?
i wouldnt even consider it. // no bc i’m not a piece of shit lmao?
14) what is your favorite fruit?
hmmm…. pineapple orrr…. strawberries but only if they’re the really good kind like they have to be perfect // pineapple!!
15) have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? if possible?
….. ye s… yes. // in the past apparently so but thinking about it now nah lol
16) are you into hookups? short or long term relationships?
hookups arent my thing eh i prefer long term relationships altho i cant really say ive been in a “long” term relationship pffff // i don’t think hookups will ever be my thing, emotionally long term relationships are what i’m here for but i’m also a Very Impulsive Person so i cant tell you if this will stay a fact :’)
17) do you smoke? if so, what?
nope dont wanna // no thanks
18) what do you do to get over your anger?
usually talk to people or shout into word // i have to vent about it to someone probably a thousand times even months or years after it happens tbh
19) do you believe in god?
nahh // nah
20) does the person you’re in love with know it?
i aint in love with anyone rn so no? // i’m not in love with anyone.
21) favorite position?
………….. for w hat………. // oh honey lmfao... N/A
22) what’s your horoscope sign?
virgo/ox ovob // Virgo/sun, Aries/moon, Libra/rising and Cancer/midheaven
23) your fears?
literally everything i already named a few so ill name some others… ghh anything in… the ocean or lakes and stuff frightens me and i really dont know why bu tlike…. fish and crabs and jellyfish and seaweed cuz it’s evil and stu f f basically anything that’s not a mammal or turtles or penguins…. lo l im a baby // uncertainty is a big fear of mine and also people being mad at me lmao... as far as physical fears though i have debilitating fears of almost all insects/arachnids and lobsters/shrimp/crawfish :^)))))
24) how many pets do you have? what kind?
two cats and a dog!! // one cat one dog
25) what never fails to turn you on?
i dunno,,/////// // lol neck biting/kissing oof
26) your idea of a perfect first date?
im okay with mostly anything i just really like spending time with the person ; v ; // i’ve never really had an answer for this? thinking about dates has always made me so anxious for whatever reason but i’ll be happy to just spend time with them doing whatever honestly, i’m a super indecisive person aha
27) what is something most people don’t know about you?
i dont really know tbh lmfao // i’ve considered in the past looking into mental conditions (anxiety/bpd/etc) to see if i might have one or two but i never want to say anything about it because i don’t want to self-diagnose anything.
28) what makes you feel the happiest?
nice weather and nice conversations w/ best people u//v//u // nice weather and hanging out with people who are fun and easy to talk to
29) what store do you shop at most often?
does….. arda wigs count or… // does arda wigs still count bc mood lmao but truthfully now it’s probably target
30) how do you feel about oral? giving and/or receiving?
kkdkjsfkjkjfj??fsfj/// go for i t??? i have no problems with i t??? i dont think ill ever be willing to put a dick in my mouth though // these random sexual questions thrown in here are something aren’t they lmao. not going to disclose much but i will stand by the fact that i will not put a dick in my mouth lo l
31) do you believe in karma?
sometimes ye // i believe that people will eventually get what’s coming to them but i don’t believe in karma as a solid concept if that makes sense? like i don’t think it’s guaranteed
32) are you single?
yup yup // yeah it’s been wild lmao
33) do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?
i think being sincere is the best way to apologize– if you truly mean it the person will know. you dont need to buy your forgiveness. // the best way to apologize is just to apologize sincerely and change your behavior if it’s applicable.
34) are you a good swimmer?
ehh??? im ok i guess– i took swimming lessons as a kid but i havent done legit swimming ever since then lmao,, ive always been best at the backstroke tho yea // i mean i have the ability to swim but i’m not olympic-worthy or anything lmao
35) coffee or tea?
ehhh im not big on either tbh // chocolate milk and you can fight me
36) online shopping or shopping in person?
depends what your shopping for i guess?? online is more relaxed i guess // online probably because shopping in person Gives Me Anxiety
37) would you rather be older or younger than your current age?
ehhh im happy where i am tbh // older
38) cats or dogs?
do not make me choose // cats and dogs* there i fixed it for you
39) are you a competitive person?
ahaa,,,,, oh god yeah,, // OOF yeah
40) do you believe in aliens?
i believe there’s life on other planets somewhere?? so i guess?? // i believe in aliens in the sense that there’s no way we are the only living life forms in the universe but not in the science-fiction way you feel me
41) do you like dancing?
i do but i suck at it lmao // i do but i: A- suck, and B- have no stamina
42) what kind of music to you listen to?
nearly everything tbh // i’m not picky when it comes to music but imma be real w u. almost all of the music on my phone is kpop. seventeen is my favorite group along with astro, and i also enjoy super junior, shinee, red velvet, etc among so many others,,, im pretty wide spread !
43) what is your favorite cartoon character?
i will never be able to pick just one // i’ll literally never be able to answer this
44) where are you from?
philadelphia uvu // philly!
45) eat at home or eat out?
hmmm at home. // at home
46) how much more social are you when you’re drunk?
i never plan on being drunk tyvm // i’ve never consumed alcohol in my life and to be Quite Fucking Honest i want nothing to do with it
47) what was the last thing you bought for yourself?
bracelets ! ; u ; // uh... excluding food and music... earrings i think
48) why do you think your followers follow you?
uhhhhhhh lmfao i have no idea i think… a good amount are for my cosplays at least?? or id like to think so lmfao but i really dont know pfft // my followers have just accumulated and hung around over the years... i know i gained a good amount from my snk days as arlert-the-troops and then through my haikyuu phase, whether it was for my cosplay or other posts that i made... whenever someone follows me now im not entirely sure what its for but i appreciate everyone who’s stuck around!
49) how many hours do you sleep at night?
it’s never regular man // 6-9 (lol) hours is pretty normal for me
50) what worries you most about the future?
everything tbh // the future as a concept worries me lol
#useless shouting#journal crap#sorry for so many personal posts lately ive been having fun with them lmfao
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