#phosphorescences

[setmeatopthepyre]

thunk it thursday tagged in fuck it friday by @bidisasterevankinard (thank you! I was brainstorming a good excuse to share this) but it's still thursday here so... behold, the new wip that I am calling phosphorescence fic [edit: renamed to pothos | pathos or pothos fic for shirt] as a working title. shout out to @sugarpenchant & @trombonechurchill for lending their thoughts & letting me yap

-

The first time Buck runs into Tommy at a call, his heart feels like a bird battering his rib cage from the inside. He'd finally gotten around to not actively searching for Tommy whenever the 118 were called to anything bigger than a two alarm fire, half convinced Tommy must've traded to a different shift despite the fact Buck knew that would've thrown Tommy's carefully planned social life into disarray. Buck never checked with Eddie to confirm or deny his suspicions. He wasn't sure what he'd do with either answer.

Which... leaves him completely unprepared for the sight of Tommy, tall, broad in his turnouts, face soot-streaked like when he showed up like some sort of action hero to Maddie and Chimney's hospital wedding. Buck feels himself stumble, relocates his feet, and finds Tommy staring straight at him with an expression that must mirror his own. Surprise. Heartache. Sadness. Tommy's eyes glimmer in the lights of the vehicles around them, and Buck hopes.

That's when Cap calls for him over the radio and Buck has to turn away and do his job. Still, that flutter of hope remains wedged between his ribs. If Tommy is even half as heartbroken as he looks, then Buck stands a chance and at this point, he'll take any chance he can get.

That night, after returning to the station and before crawling into a bunk for some shut-eye, Buck texts Tommy.

-

Tommy doesn't text him back.

Buck watches the single checkmark turn to two, but after that... nothing. No texts, no calls, no bubbles. Nothing.

The next day: still nothing.

“I think something's wrong with Tommy,” Buck says as he catches up to Eddie at the firehouse gym. “He hasn't texted me back.”

Eddie takes another step or two, then halts mid-stride and turns. “Hold on, you texted Tommy?”

“Yes, a-and he's read them, but that's it. What if something happened?”

Eddie mulls it over, taking a seat on the weight bench. “Like what?”

“I-I don't know. An-- an accident. What if he never made it home after the call yesterday?”

Eddie sighs, lays back on the bench. Grips the bar. “He made it home, Buck.”

Buck frowns and crosses his arms in front of his chest. Promptly uncrosses them again when Eddie unracks the barbell, ready to spot him. “Y-Yeah? How do you know that?”

Eddie doesn't look at him, keeps his eyes trained on the iron bar above as he moves the weight up and down in slow, precise movements. “Because,” he huffs between reps, “he texted me.”

“He... he texted you?” Buck says slowly.

“Yes, he texted me. He went out to some bar after his shift and then he drunk-texted me when he got home. He's fine. Probably hungover.” Eddie huffs his way through another rep or two, three, four.

“He drunk-texted you? What-- uh, what did-- what did he drunk-text you about?”

Eddie raises an eyebrow at him and Buck supposes his attempt at casual might have fallen just a little bit short of the mark. “Are you going to just repeat everything I'm saying, but like it's a question?” Eddie asks. He racks the weight again. “What I can tell you is, Tommy's fine. Well, he made it home okay. Okay? If he didn't text you back...” he shrugs. “Maybe he had a different reason. Or he needs more time.”

And Buck, well. Buck can give him time. He can do that. He knows what he saw in Tommy's eyes. He knows Tommy saw it in his, too. If Tommy needs time, that's what he'll get.

But, he decides, the next time he sees Tommy at a call, he's going to talk to him.

-

The next time Buck sees Tommy at a call, he's ready for it. He's had a few practice runs by now, three and four-alarms with the 217 on scene but no Tommy with the ground crew. Plenty of time to hype himself up, to imagine what might happen, what he could say. How Tommy would look at him.

The thing is. The problem is. Tommy doesn't look at him.

It's-- weird, really. The next time they're both at a scene, Buck spots him only a short distance away. He watches Tommy's gaze track along towards him and then... go right past. Like he doesn't even see him. Doesn't recognize him. Like Buck's just another set of turnouts in the crowd.

But he's made a promise to himself, and he won't back down now, so Buck marches right up to Tommy and says, “H-hey. Tommy. Uh, hi.”

Tommy looks at him then with something like vague curiosity. “Hey,” he says, plainly. Then recognition flashes, but it's still-- mild. Nothing like the heartache from before. “Hey, Evan.”

Buck will take what he can get, and Tommy calling him Evan again is more than he'd expected... even if unease curls in his gut, prickles at the back of his neck.

“So-- So were back to Evan, huh?” he tries for normal, for a grin, tilts his head.

Tommy smiles easily at him, as if they're right back at the start. As if nothing's happened. “Well, that is your name, isn't it?”

“I-- yeah, I-I guess so. I just thought--” Buck huffs. “Never mind. How, uh. How-- how are you, Tommy? I, uh, texted you.”

“You did? Sorry, Evan. I've been busy,” Tommy says, and glances over his shoulder. “Look, I have to run. See you around?”

Tommy's gone before Buck can even begin to think of a response.

-

“Something's wrong with Tommy.”

“Sure, just let yourself in. No problem at all,” Chimney says blandly from where he's stretched out on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. “Maddie's not here.”

Buck takes a seat on the coffee table, ignoring the way Chim has to lean to see the TV behind him. “I'm not here for Maddie, I'm here for you," he says in a breath. Then adds, "Because you're... you're open-minded.”

Chimney pauses mid-chew. “Open-minded,” he repeats. His eyes narrow. “What kind of weird proposition are you gonna hit me with, Buckley?”

He rolls his eyes. “Nothing-- not, not a-- It's... Tommy.”

“Tommy Kinard, the one and only?” Chim swings his legs over the edge of the couch, leveraging himself into something of a seated position. “What about him?”

Buck fumbles for the words. Decides, finally, to just get straight to the point.

“I-I don't think Tommy... is, well, Tommy.”

-

tagged a bunch of people yesterday so no tags for now unless you wanna be tagged in which case: tag, you're it.

[dramaticartisan]

Phosphorescent Apparition

Comparing this and the bright palette one, it's like comparing when I'm emotionally stable and not during my process, this one being the stable one

My style is not meant for bright colors really, but you can compare the two if you want, or not

Speedpaint below

Time elapsed:

18 hrs - (ArtFlow) sketching

07 hrs - (ArtFlow) lines & shadows

08 hrs - (ibisPaint) colors & render

[geraldofallon]

Fallen London Species: Phosphorescent Scarab

[indigoluvers]

↪Timeline by Hey, Nothing / Unknown found on Pinterest / Franz Kafka Diaries (via: @/dailykafka on tumblr) / The Hours by Michael Cunningham / Song for Zula by Phosphorescent / My diary / Unknown / The Night We Met by Lord Huron

↪ dm for credit or removal (or conversation).

[deebrisbyfish]

Regret is a dish best served... phosphorescently? In truth, their curiosity didn't extend much beyond this. Really, I only have a FEW scars from the incident, and they ignore the nails... now.

[spaceguy44]

My fluorescent (glowing) rock and radioactive materials collection that I've been building for about a year with my partner. Looks cooler IRL than what my phone camera can do. I've labelled everything with the color they glow as the text color.

[leroiestmortvivelareine]

The Night Kevin

I think I figured out the whole Kevin thing. It's a strange and twisted tale, so stay with me.

Kevin Day is the haunting mystery at the heart of aftg. The story might be about Neil and Andrew but he brings this almost mystical dimension, sensed rather than seen. Like Edgar Allan Poe's poem - on the surface it's about grief for the loss of Lenore, but the presence of the raven takes it into an unknowable place.

So trying to solve the puzzle of Kevin becomes an addiction. The answer feels tantalisingly just out of reach, if only you could figure out the right questions to ask. Same with all those polycule connections that won't show themselves but won't go away... it's the great unknowable; kandreil isn't supposed to exist in the canon version yet it defies all attempts to erase it. We all know it's there. We can feel it, even if we can't see it. What's driving it? Why does 1 + 1 keep adding up to 3?

Perhaps the clue is in the name. Kevin Day. What's the word that immediately comes to mind when you hear the word 'day'? The word 'night'. Maybe it's a hint that we're only seeing half the story.

Which is how I've always felt about Kevin... that he's only partly real, maybe 30% of a person. I mentioned before about the Perfect Court feeling like splinters and Kevin reminding me of Rei Ayanami, an incomplete soul.

But there's an even better analogy. Pratchett's 'Thief of time', which is brilliant by the way, imagined Time as a female spirit who became trapped in a glass clock. Kind of like Kayleigh, a uniquely talented free spirit who stumbled into something sinister. (Strange that we only ever perceive Kayleigh as a spirit, never a real person. It's even called the Day Spirit award.)

In the book, Time as a not-quite-woman eventually gave birth in a sort of time loop, so her son was born twice. Two bodies but only one soul, split unevenly between them. One boy was almost normal, but the other was so cold and distant he didn't seem fully human. They were both obsessed with time and highly skilled at it, time was their thing; one created clockwork devices and the other could bend time with these weird time-bending monks.

That idea of a split soul is how Kevin always feels to me. As though part of him is missing somehow, or lost.

So where is it? Is there another half of Kevin Day, a Night Kevin, a lost son, if not of Kayleigh, then of the Spirit of exy... who walked in the shadows while Kevin Day was always in the light? Someone with the other half of his soul, with all the fierceness and independence that Kevin lacked?

Someone else whose life also revolved around exy, who was obsessed to the point of singlemindedness, with a gift for exy - but passionate and instinctive, not coldly intellectual.

Someone who was also incomplete, but in reverse. Who was missing all the things Kevin could do... the ability to form bonds with people, depend on them, even ask them for help.

Neil is a knight in Nora's chess symbolism. He is also the night half of the lost boys story.

Look how much they were drawn to each other. Neil who needed to evade capture at all costs but not as badly as he needed to carry around an 'I heart Kevin Day' scrapbook. Kevin who dismissed half the young hopefuls in the country so he could go bullheaded for that kid in Millport.

Even the way they were both attracted to Andrew. That's why kandreil feels so real even in the canon version. It's not Kevin + Neil + Andrew. It's [Kevin/Neil] + Andrew.

An unexpected piece of corroboration is something that always sticks out to me - Riko telling Neil 'I'm going to love hurting you. Like I loved hurting Kevin.' Because if he wanted to intimidate why not mention Jean, who suffered far worse torment? There's many explanations but I think he meant exactly what he said: it would feel the same with Neil as it had with Kevin. Because Neil and Kevin are split souls.

We all understand 'misplaced forever partner' to be a bond outside of all labels we've ever heard before - friend, lover, partner. I think whatever binds Neil and Kevin is in the same category - entirely unique, only existing between those two, and impossible to properly define except to say they're the mirror halves of something broken.

It's beautiful that neither of them could heal until the other did, and that they found the missing parts of themselves almost at the same time.

The queen tattoo was the moment when Kevin became whole. No wonder Andrew was smiling - Kevin had found his independence. That was Andrew's true role in Kevin's life, whether he'd realised it or not, and maybe this was the moment he realised.

And Neil was also feeling complete that night, having learned to depend on someone.

Which is why the final game was the finale, it was the completion of their story, Neil and his mirror soul, no longer broken but healed.

[chroniclesofachemist]

Irridium complex popping offff (not synthesised by me, a friend was working on it)

[thatmightyheart]

p5 little devils are ready and pre-orders are going out now!

i'll finally be able to put everything up as in stock on shop soon.. probably by end of this month/beginning of next! ( • ̀ω•́ )9✧

[setmeatopthepyre]

WIP wednesday tagged by the amazing @rcmclachlan and @agentpeggycartering <3 thank you!

here is some more from the fic formerly known as phosphorescence, now renamed pothos | pathos or pothos fic for short. follows [this]

-

Eddie worries about Buck.

And, if he lets himself think about it, he feels a little guilty for only worrying about Buck now, and not before.

Sure, he'd felt bad for the guy when Tommy dumped him but, well, Buck had been dumped before. He always ended up fine.

Maybe Eddie should have caught on earlier to the ways things were different this time around. Part of that was because Tommy was his friend, and that made things a little awkward, but he'd figured out soon enough that if he just... avoided talking with Tommy about Buck and with Buck about Tommy, it was... fine. He was just a little more vague about it when he had plans with either of them. Easy.

It wasn't exactly like he didn't have anything else on his mind, what with Christopher speaking to him in actual multi-word sentences these days and the whole El Paso house hunt.

Still, he should have probably caught on the fact that it was weird, how easy it was to avoid the subject of Tommy around Buck. At least, in depth.

Sure, Buck talked a lot about how he wanted to reach out, how he'd seen Tommy bubble him again, and the baking... well, the baking spoke for itself. Still, it had taken Buck a full week to share any sort of details as to why he and Tommy had broken up, how it had happened. Even then, Buck had been pretty closed off about it.

And then Buck just... kept baking. And, okay, sue Eddie, it hadn't pinged anything at first because Buck has a tendency to get a little intense about things in general. Until now, those things usually only lasted for a short period of time before Buck wore himself out and things went right back to normal. Or he would go on to the next thing, which, for Buck, was normal.

But the baking went on, so Eddie had figured, hey, Buck had a new hobby. It was a way to cope that wasn't unhealthy for anyone except the people he kept trying to pawn his pastries off to. He was keeping local businesses running with his shopping habits. Buck was keeping himself busy, processing his emotions in a way that didn't involve suing the department or having to be bailed out of jail. You know, all good things. So surely it was fine.

But now... the Tommy thing.

Eddie had kept in contact with Tommy. They'd kept up their weekly hangouts and it hadn't been awkward, because they didn't talk about it. Tommy had looked a little more rough around the edges and he was a little quieter than he had been, but Eddie could tell he was dealing with it in his own way. Their sparring got an extra edge of intensity to it and Eddie enjoyed the extra challenge. Figured if Tommy wanted to talk, he'd talk. But he didn't, so they didn't. Easy as that.

Eddie thought it was, well, fine.

But now Buck is very clearly not fine, and Eddie just watches and sips his coffee while Buck gestures emphatically as he says something to Maddie.

“Have you talked to him?”

Chimney appears by his side and Eddie very nearly inhales his next sip. “Holy-- Chim, stop sneaking up on people like that.”

“Well, have you?”

Eddie dabs at his shirt, trying to figure if he's going to need to change or if the dark blue fabric masks the coffee stain well enough. Glances over to find Chimney still standing next to him, also watching Maddie and Buck.

“You talking about Buck, or Tommy?” Eddie finally asks.

“Either, or.”

“Talked to Tommy day before yesterday. He seemed fine.”

“What about Buck?” Chim says, turning towards Eddie. “Has he... talked to you?”

Somehow Eddie suspects he doesn't mean just in general. “About...?”

“His... theory.”

Eddie frowns. “No, he hasn't mentioned a theory. What kind of theory?”

Chimney ignores his question. “Nothing about Tommy seeming... off?”

“No, I...” Eddie hesitates, thinks back. “Well, he has been asking a lot more questions. But like, trying to be subtle about it, you know?”

Chimney hums.

Eddie casts him a sidelong glance. “Why? What'd he say to you?”

“I probably shouldn't say,” Chimney says. He's fidgeting. Eddie waits him out.

All it takes is a single raised eyebrow on his part and one glance up from Chimney, and Chim cracks. “Fine, but this stays between us, alright?” He glances around them. “He thinks Tommy isn't Tommy.”

Eddie lets the words sink in. Waits for them to make sense. They don't. “What the hell does that mean?”

“See? That's what I asked him, but he couldn't explain it. Just said he wasn't acting like himself.”

Eddie considers this. “I mean, he has seemed a little different, recently.”

“Different how?”

Eddie thinks its a good thing Buck isn't here to hear it, honestly felt guilty about even noticing it, before. “Honestly? Tommy seems... better.”

“Better how?”

Eddie shrugs again. “Calmer? Like he's actually getting some sleep these days.”

“Shit,” Chimney huffs.

“Yeah.”

“Don't tell Buck that.”

“Wasn't planning to.”

They finish their coffee in silence.

-

big big shout out to the one and only @hubcaphalo for the input re: eddie pov

no pressure wip wednesday tags for @trombonechurchill @geddyqueer @sugarpenchant @ambernotember @leashybebes @beanarie @bidisasterevankinard @iphyslitterator

tag list for those who requested tags for this fic under the cut ↓

@fiyaerrigan @bisexualbrainrots @leashybebes @louuieferrignojr @rubydaiquiri @teabroomsandbooks @crimsonwildcat-blog @sweaters-and-silly @nochance-noway @manifestingchaoticvibes @hyperfocusthusly @frogsinflannel @beanarie @rcmclachlan @sad-girl-hours23 @ambernotember @apartmentsmoke

let me know if you wanna be added or removed!

[the-insouciant-scientist]

Sketch commission for @waterlogged-detective of their urchin Ophelia! Featuring a good few neathy bugs, because bugs are fantastic.

[markscherz]

Are there any frogs that glow in the dark?

Not to my knowledge, no. There are plenty of frogs that fluoresce under specific wavelengths of light, but no true phosphorescence that is implied by 'glow in the dark'.

[necroticboop]

💎 shiny rocks make brain go brrrr ✦ uv reactive selenite [x]

[i-like-rocks22]

Whyyy did the screenwriters of Wicked cut out the "what's in the punch?" "lemons and melons and pears" "oh my!" joke whyyyyyyyy

[songoftrillium]

@wolfgirlbites came to visit the other week and we used our time to make music together. Realized I never shared it here, so, enjoy our cover of Wolves by phosphorescent. Wolfy on vocals.

[l0vedove]

Jason looks so genuinely confused during this moment in March of the falsettos it brings me joy.