#poor chris can't catch a break

[fandom-fire-dump]

Chris, crying on the floor in a fetal position while holding a game controller: HOW!? JUST, HOW!?

Jimmy, trying to comfort Chris: I know, dude. Let it out.

Chris: I was so close!

Jimmy: I know, buddy.

Martin, walking into the room: Someone want to explain to me why my brother is crying?

Chris: I keep losing the first fight!

Martin: Isn't the first fight supposed to be a tutorial fight?

Chris, crying even harder: Yes!

Jimmy: Dude...

Martin: I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

[aliesbienish]

Heavy is the head that wears the crown

Buddie x gn! reader (established) Domestic fluff

"Boy's I feel like measuring the doorframe was something you two should have thought of. You are firefighters after all!"

"Babe, you clearly forgot you were suppose to be the smart one in this relationship," Buck declared, ready to admit defeat.

"Mis amores, stop laying blame where it doesn't belong,"

"And where does it belong Eddie?" You questioned.

"Obviously at the feet of the salesman who sold us this mattress in the first place. If we had gone with the cheaper option we would not be in this mess,"

"To be fair to the poor man, it would only fit because it was hardly thicker than a camping bed. You could probably fold it like paper. Maybe we should have just stuck with the old bed."

"(Y/n/n) honey, I love sleeping close to you I do. But I cannot face another summer in that queen bed, it's barely fit for two people let alone three. And everyone time Chris comes in, in the middle of the night, I'm the one who always ends up with an elbow to the face."

"Yeah I wonder where he got that from," Buck grumbled under his breath, rubbing the bruise he had gotten on his forearm from Eddie the previous night.

"Okay okay, you're right. We needed this. And I am determined we will get it into the bedroom. So step aside, let me have a go,"

"Honey if we couldn't get it in I'm not too sure what you expect to happen... but sure yep have a go," Eddie backtracked, catching your withering glare.

You backed up, confusing the boys, before breaking into a sprint towards the mattress jammed in the doorframe. With one mighty push, an impressive yell to go with it, the mattress finally gave and you were through into the bedroom. The momentum toppled the mattress over and you fell ontop.

"Success!!" You yelled, star-fished on top of the mattress. "You two better start reconsidering what you bring to our relationship cause it looks like I am the smart one and the strong one! I think I rule this relationship"

"And we bow down," Buck declares as they both tumble onto the mattress and start peppering you with kisses.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

My first foray into 911 fandom, hope you enjoyed. Feel free to shoot through any requests, but be warned I'm only a couple seasons in so can't yet write for Tommy, Ravi etc.

[ericshoney]

Missed You ~ Brothers!Sturniolo Triplets

Summary: Your brothers come home to Boston to find you've had a hard few weeks.

Warnings: usual swearing, breaking up (random name for the ex-boyfriend), high school drama, anxiety, stress.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today was gonna be a good day and you knew it. Why? Because your brothers were coming back from LA for a while. You had everything planned out, go with your mum to collect them from the airport, spend the day catching up and messing around and have Nate around as well.

That was until a day before your boyfriend broke up with you. You spent last night crying into your mum's arms, so when MaryLou turned up at the airport alone, the three boys looked confused, knowing you were suppose to be there too.

"Where's Y/n?" Nick asked first.

"She's at home, poor girl is heartbroken and overwhelmed." MaryLou answered.

"Who's the dick who broke our sister's heart?" Chris asked.

Their mother sighed as they got in the car, she then told them all about how your boyfriend had broken up with you, saying you weren't good enough or pretty enough for him.

"What a asshole." Matt muttered.

"She's been really excited for you all to come home." She mentioned.

"We're glad to come home too." Nick responded.

They soon got home, greeting their dad and Justin, who came to visit, before making their way to your bedroom. Chris knocked on the door before opening it to see you, their fifteen year old sister, curled up in bed.

"Hey bub, we're home." He called softly, the trio entering the room.

"Hi." You mumbled, sitting up to greet them.

The three instantly noticed your puffy red eyes, sad expression and the tiredness all over your face.

"Oh sweetheart." Nick cooed, pulling you into a tight hug, making you break out into a flood of tears.

"Missed you." You choked through the tears.

"We missed you too, petal. Mum told us about your dumb ex-boyfriend. Sounds like a right motherfucker." Matt said as he sat on the other side of you, rubbing your back gently, as Chris sat in front of you.

"I'm not pretty enough or good enough for him. He cheated with that stupid cheerleader!" You cried, hiding your face in Nick's chest.

"It's his loss, kid. He's the loser who isn't good enough, your fucking amazing." Chris said.

"What else has been going on?" Nick softly asked.

"School's just been hard....the work is too stressful, I don't want to go anymore." You admitted.

The three boys shared a look, all suddenly thinking the same idea. They shared a nod before looking back at you.

"Sweetheart, what if we speak to mum and dad..." Nick began saying.

"About you moving with us to LA...." Chris continued.

"And doing online school?" Matt finished.

You looked up at your older brothers in shock. You were waiting for them to laugh and say it was a joke, but they didn't.

"Really?" You called, making them nod.

"We can't promise anything, but we'll suggest it." Nick answered.

"That would be amazing!" You screamed.

They smiled and knew it would take a bit of convincing, but with how chill their parents were, their only worry was she'd live off take out.

[fly-on-the-walls-stuff]

Pit Babe S2 E8 Thoughts

What in the actual hell did i just witness??

So everyone knows that charlie took Jeff's powers, and Chris is once again being an apathetic asshole. I want Babe to punch him just once. I'm distracted by Kenta being pretty again. Babe is being surprisingly mature about this whole situation and i'm proud of him for that. Sonic not trusting Dean is making me not trust Sonic idk why... also NorthSonic have got to GET IT TOGETHER before i lock them in a room together. Charlie is not having a good time, although when is he ever. Chris being a dick again, why am i no longer surprised. i preferred Way. Pete starting to be suspicious of Chris, we love it! Cute AlanJeff to save us from all the drama, no wait! Alan is lying to Jeff so there's still drama! NorthSonic again being frustrating, give me my KimKenta that is the only reason i am here atp!

Yayyyyyy KimKenta!!!!!!! Omg. Omg. It's happening, i am SCREAMING!!!!!!!! Angry sort of confession and angry kiss!!!!!! we won KimKenta nation!!!!!!!!!!! The way Kenta just sort of melted while Kim was kissing him omg i died! i have ascended to heaven!!! Okay i need a minute (or five)......Okay i'm back, aaaaand it's angsty North going to DEAN for relationship advise 555555555 poor dean man can't catch a break... although he is right North needs to man up and Sonic needs to shut up for a second and actually listen when North is speaking to him. Chris is being sus, shocker! OMG pete caught him HA serves him right! KimKenta the detectives sleuthing *que pink panther music* Guys is now really the time to be distracted by each other come on man... Kenta is being surprisingly touchy... Kenta sacrificing himself for Kim! Kim being worried for Kenta! My heart can't take it!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT CHRIS IS TONY'S SON!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!

aaaaand Willy kidnapped Charlie. great.

[tiggymalvern]

Burn Noticed 5x01 - Company Man

This is a short podcast episode, because the podcasters don't have a lot of complaints or questions about the plot, so that always reduces the discussion points.

They start with some directorial criticism, as the cold open ends with Micheal saying, ‘No. I NEED answers,’ with a dramatic zoom. Which is definitely too much 🤪

Bri is frustrated that Michael won’t tell Fi anything about where he’s been. “He’s so professional in a way that I find unbelievable frankly. “

Chris: This is Michael Westen, Bri.

Bri: I know. Ugh. He’s such a... (there's a word in there, but I can't catch it, because Chris starts talking too. It is obviously not flattering LOL)

Chris: I don’t know why you’re surprised.

Bri: It’s so annoying though. Because next episode he throws all this out the window and is like, ‘Fi, can you do my CIA job for me?’  It just seems wild that he can’t even tell her which country they’ve been to. What is she going to do with that information? (That point about going from telling her nothing to telling her everything is very valid 🤣🤣🤣)

Chris: Bri, you have to understand that now Michael is a Company Man.

Bri: He’s not even, he’s just an asset. He’s still technically burned.

Chris: But he wants to not think that he’s burned. (I think Chris has a valid point here. Michael is over-compensating hard for the fact that they're letting him back in and he does not want to screw this up from the start.)

Sam’s showing off his post Fall of Sam Axe weight loss.

Chris: I love that they feel the need to comment on this.

Bri: The thing is, if they hadn’t brought attention to it, I wouldn’t have noticed. He wears the same clothes as always that make him look bigger.

Chris: Yeah, he’s always wearing these long drapy shirts.

(It is hard to tell unless you’re actively paying attention. When they put him in a T-shirt, that’s when you can tell.)

And the other thing coming out of this scene…

Bri: Jesse is now living the life that Fi has been begging Michael to live for years. (Go, Jesse! Such a smart man ❤️)

They comment, as I have in the past, on Michael’s exclusion of Jesse from ‘my team’ for the trip to Caracas. Poor Jesse – he’s completely bonded with these people now, but Michael is very slow to buy into new friends!

The podcasters have forgotten what happened at the end of the last episode (they take a lengthy break between seasons), because they’re wondering why Michael is going after Kessler and not Vaughn. They have to stop and look up the wiki to remind themselves that Vaughn was arrested and they didn't miss anything 😁

They’re not sure about Michael’s longer hair.

Chris: They’re trying to do the same style they always do and it’s too big. You need to do something else or cut his hair.

(The new hair makes him look younger and softer, which I think isn’t the image Michael Westen is going for. It suits Jeffrey Donovan, but it’s wrong for the character IMO.)

They’re delighted that Michael still doesn’t speak Spanish, and has to say so in Russian 🤣🤣🤣

The episode ends with Michael having a conversation with his mother about lack of closure. 'Sometimes you don’t get everything wrapped up neatly and it sucks,' she tells him.

Bri: I enjoy when media unpacks that.

Chris: I do like that.

Bri: However, I don’t trust Burn Notice. I think that someone’s still out there and Michael will still get answers.

Chris: See, I don’t think so. I think the reason that Kessler is a nobody and they’re doing this episode about not getting closure is Matt Nix and co saying, ‘We’re done with this plot. We stretched it out for four seasons. Maybe we’ll do it again in the final season, but we don’t want to talk about Michael being burned any more.'

Bri: That’s something that you and I would do. I’m on high alert. I would love for that to be true, because I really do like this scene and this moment, and I think that in some ways it’s a weirdly satisfying ending to four seasons of conspiracy nonsense. I like that it ends with a whimper and not a bang, but I don’t trust them.

Chris: I think it’s the right choice narratively, but it’s also the lazier choice.

Bri: I still think Max is a bad guy, though. I’m saying it now. I think Max is going to cause them some kind of strife.

Chris: Max might cause strife. I don’t know if he’s a bad guy.

Bri: I want to have wild predictions at the beginning of seasons now, and this is mine. I think Max is bad. What’s your wild prediction.

Chris: Fi’s gonna get a pixie cut 🤣🤣🤣

(I do like it when they start to speculate. Sometimes they're very right and sometimes they're very wrong XD)

This gets tagged a great episode of Burn Notice - barely, because it doesn't fit the standard formula, but Madeline gets some good moments and that compensates for the absence of Jesse now that they're including her as a main character. Not a great episode of television, which is also fair. This is very much a 'Get the old plot tidied up so we can get on to the new season plot' episode.

[lemotmo]

I finally got to watch the episode! It was so good! And I'm very happy that Eddie and Chris were able to reconnect!!

The facetime calls with Buck and Eddie! So doemestic and my heart! Those two will kill me once they offically get together.

The fact that I'm hoping Helena gets the smackdown of her life next week. I cannot stand that woman! 🙄

And isn't next week's episode supposed to be longer or am I imagining things? Poor Hen she just can't catch a break.

Madney was awesome as per usual and I'm so glad that we got the bit with Maddie and Athena! Talk about scenes we need more of!

I'm sure there's more I can point out about the episode but that's all my brain has at the moment. Lol

Hope you are having a great Friday and have a great weekend!

It was really good, I agree!

There were some pacing issues with the Eddie & Chris storyline, but overall it was a solid episode. 🤗

The Buddie was so obvious again. This show is no longer trying to hide anything. No more subtext and all text!

As for Helena? Yeah, I just want to reach in there and have a friendly 'talk' with her. 😏

My Friday has been really great so far. You have a great weekend as well!

[creative-creatures8]

Alenoah, where Noah is Chris' Assistant in World Tour:

Alejandro grins when he sees Noah holding the million-dollar case.

Alejandro places his pineapple dummy in one arm, while he wraps his other arm around Noah's waist.

"Thanks for everything!" Alejandro says, flicking out a long snake-like tongue.

Noah's eyes widen under his sunglasses, but before he could say anything, Alejandro was passionately kissing him. Noah's body froze, while his mind raced. Alejandro's lips were soft and warm, and his tongue danced against Noah's. Noah couldn't believe it was happening; he had been immune to Alejandro's charms and flirting all season. But now, as their bodies pressed together, Noah found himself lost in the moment.

Alejandro continued to kiss Noah and he didn't let go until Noah kissed back, and then the charmer pulled back slightly, breathing heavily. "I've finally gotten to you."

Noah blushes and glares defiantly. "Please throw your stupid dummy into the volcano already."

Alejandro smirks smugly and then winks. "As you wish."

Then Heather arrived in time.

Watching her kick Alejandro in the kiwis was the most satisfying thing Noah ever saw in his life. 😎

YO! I love the prompt!

Poor Noah can't catch a break... I'm glad Heather still won! Idk why, I just prefer Heathers victory lol! I love the story! Keep up the good work!

Gotta say tho I feel so bad for the little nerd.

[cellard0ors]

80’s Hackearney Drabble idea, comin’ in hot!

Snack Time at Hackett’s Quarry

- popsicles or soft serve ice cream maybe?

- maybe something more wholesome, like juicy watermelon slices that inevitably dribble down someone’s chin?

- do the campers and counsellors ever have to do their own baking, and if so, poor young Travis having to put up with various “bun in oven” and “buttered muffin” jokes from the others

Hell yes, sweet treats!

It's the second Saturday in June at Hackett's Summer Camp and apparently it's known as Sweet Saturday. Laura's informed that this is the day all the campers work on making sweet treats to trade with one another.

The treats don't have to be particularly difficult - just fun to put together. Laura's never considered herself much of a cook - hell, before this she wasn't even a very good waitress, aka the person who delivers the food - but luckily she gets the youngest campers.

The idea of using fruit juice to make easy popsicles via ice trays pleases them immensely and even Laura finds herself having fun as she helps the little kids carefully pour their chosen juice into the tray's little cups - sticking toothpicks in their centers.

As the evening rolls in the treats start being swapped and Laura can't help but feel a glow of pride as she sees the tiny popsicles floating around among the cookies, muffins, and slices of cake.

The cake really intrigues her, as it doesn't look like an ordinary cake, which she discovers is the truth when she's presented with a slice by Chris, "Here! Take some icebox cake!"

It's always beyond bizarre when Laura is faced with a young Chris. After all, he was - in many ways - the kick off for her woes in 2021. But now, in 1986, he's young and innocent and eager to please as he forces the small paper plate on her, "C'mon - join T and me. We've got a great spot!"

Laura gamely follows along, seeing Travis resting against a tall, thick tree near the dock. Travis is picking at his food, as if unsatisfied with it when he catches sight of her with his sibling.

His back goes ramrod straight even as he pushes his glasses by the bridge up his nose. He gives her that awkward (annoying) endearing (goofy) smile as he greets her with a quiet, "Uh, hey."

"Hey." Laura returns just as noncommittally even as Chris takes a seat next to Travis and beams, "Brought Laura over to snack with us. Hope that's okay."

Travis shoots Chris a look that Laura recognizes as a secret, brother-based look. While she doesn't have siblings of her own, Laura's been friends with, and seen enough, brothers and sisters shoot one another that look - the inside kind that only they understand, to get that that's what she's seeing.

However, if the look shot his way bothers him, Chris doesn't show it as he digs into his large collection of treats, chocolate melting all over his fingers as he breaks apart a cookie

Laura sits across from the brothers and watches with quiet amusement until Chris asks, "You have a favorite yet, Laura? These cookies from Nancy's group is my favorite so far."

"I haven't tried them yet."

"Oh! You gotta! Here!" Chris offers her half of the cookie he just tore into and she takes it, feeling a slight pang of guilt as she does so.

Jesus, she led the charge to kill this guy in the future and here he's giving her a cookie. Still, she pushes the thought aside and tries to act normal, biting into the treat and trying to enjoy it.

Chris nudges Travis and chuckles, "Don't worry! She has some of your cake too!"

Travis looks at her and Laura feels like she's chewing in the most unattractive way possible so she swallows a big hunk of what's left in her mouth and then coughs, clearing her throat as she holds up the paper plate Chris gave her.

Travis's lips squirm like he's fighting off a smile. Chris has no resistance, smiling widely, "It's our Grandma's recipe! Ma taught us!"

"She did, huh." Laura tries to keep the bitterness out of her voice. Mrs. Hackett is the last thing she wants to hear about when she's trying to enjoy something sweet.

"Yup! It's got vanilla pudding and graham crackers and whipped cream and-!"

"She doesn't need the ingredient list, bud." Travis grumbles and Chris rolls his eyes, "Whatever. You're just upset they didn't have watermelons this year."

Laura's eyebrows rise, "You like watermelons?"

Every time she learns something new about Travis it's always so... surprising. She can't say why, other than the fact that - as her jailor - he'd seemed so remote and distant. So cold. As if he didn't like anything past being a bastard.

But in this time - when he's young and open - she's slowly uncovered more and more about him and each thing seems more startling than the last.

"You bet he does! Sometimes we have spitting contests with the seeds!"

Travis looks appropriately mortified at this and Laura can't help the genuine laugh that escapes her. Clearly hoping to continue his entertaining streak, Chris rattles on, "You should see him go! His face gets all wet and sloppy and the juice dribbles down his chin from chowing down and he makes all these noises and-!"

"Shut it, doofus!" Travis hisses and he pushes hard at his brother's shoulder. Normally Laura might object, but Chris's innocent descriptions and the way Travis's face started to turn pink hints to something that makes her feel... peculiar.

Like she'd like to see Travis's face wet with the clear juice of the watermelon. His lips shiny...

Laura fans at herself and excuses it as an unexpected spike in the temperature, nevermind that the sun is setting. She takes a bite of the icebox cake and hums in approval. It is pretty good and Chris, over his momentary annoyance with Travis, smiles again, "You like it?!"

"Yeah." She confesses, feeling like it's a dirty secret, "I do."

"Good! He made it!" Chris boasts, pointing to Travis and Laura gets the sudden impression that the younger Hackett is attempting to play as a wingman.

Good lord.

Travis, for his part, just avoids her eyes and shakes his head, "It's nothing. Besides, I had help."

"That's me!" Chris crows, "I was in his group!"

"Yeah, yeah - you did okay, squirt." Travis ruffles his brother's hair and Laura can't help but grin. Much like the desserts they've been consuming, the Hackett brothers are a sweet pair.

So much so that it's a shame for her to know how things end. And how they end bittersweet.

[thesrctsoftheuniverse]

just finished season 6!!! idk how i managed to do that in such a short period of time but yay

once again here are my thoughts:

i liked season 5 way more sorry not sorry. there are some storylines this season that i really enjoyed but personally i loved season 5 and the insight it gave us into these characters and their traumas

the blimp emergency was really boring and stupid. were they even trying???

last season i was missing the med school storyline for hen. well this season i got it back! i dont really know how to feel, obviously im glad that hen isnt becoming a doctor and leaving the 118 but she worked so hard on it, it makes me sad. on the other hand she was and will in the future once again be a fantastic captain and i loved how both her and karen gave up some of their old dreams so they could fulfill their new ones.

i absolutely loved the episode with the explosion at karen's work place, i loved getting the insight into how they met and got together and eventually took in denny. i love these two and i love chim for being an awesome friend and wingman for introducing these two. once again, chim being a wonderful friend

the storyline about the little girl that went missing in athena's hometown??? oh my god, i love that they resolved that, giving her closure for that part of her life as well. i knew about a third of the way into the episode who was at fault, but it was still very interesting to watch and i loved seeing it get resolved.

can they please stop giving maddie the domestic abuse calls? that poor woman.

eddie struggling with chris growing up and leaning on buck for advice. maybe ill just die????

the episode of that famous actress just being involved in accidents again and again was hilarious, honestly her and eddie should remain friends. i wish we saw more of the 118 having friends outside of the team ngl

MAY GRANT THE ICON THAT YOU ARE!!! she is so effortlessly cool, i just cant describe how much i love her. she remained so calm and focused on the phone with that incel, i love her so much, i hope they keep bringing her back every once in a while

THE WENDALL STORYLINE??? that shit killed me... bobby cares so deeply about the people he loves, the people that have helped him. i loved this storyline so much, it was so beautiful and tragic i can't describe it. and athena just sticking by him even when no one really believed it could be anything BUT an OD??? i love them, i wish they were able to catch a break

denny?? i dont love that storyline, mainly because to me its clear that he should've just ASKED about his biological father. they clearly gave him the info about his biological mother, what was the problem with the other parent? very confused by it. also the biological father keeping this from hen and karen is so fucked up. i would've forbidden them from seeing each other at least for a while because that was fucked up from both of them. why did denny seemingly not get punished for lying and sneaking behind his mothers' back?? i truly dont get it, like yeah he wanted to know his father but the problem is sneaking around and lying because its DANGEROUS.

ngl the lightning scene always looked more dramatic in the edits, but holy shit the coma dream was wild. buck leaving it because he knew, no matter what, he couldn't bring back bobby. he might be able to fix the rest, but not bobby. and him not telling the real bobby in the end what had happened to his coma dream counterpart? i am about to start crying again. i loved seeing that his parents apparently are capable of caring about him. hopefully the show actually shows the parents apologising and growing and learning.....

chim and maddie buying the murder house is kind of insane. i mean it looks super cute but its insane. what the fuck??? also love the spontaneous family reunion....albert has a point but also what the fuck???? i love chim, he deserved better. if this show insists on trying to fix the character's relationships with their parents they better remain consistent with it and not forgive and forget after one episode.....

buck suddenly being a math genius after the coma is hilarious. doesnt make up for the lack of clipboard buck this season though

chim going back to the academy and getting ravi.... god i missed ravi so much, i want him as a main character or at least to show up MORE OFTEN than he is now. i love chim, i love seeing him work through his trauma of kevin dying, even just in the smallest way. and would love to see that one recruit that quit the academy actually work at dispatch.

so um.... eddie is going back to dating because his aunt wants him to? because his family wants him to? because that's what everyone is expecting of him? because that's what he learns he's supposed to do? because everyone is telling him to?... right. going to the golf club to find women to date....funny. i love marisol!!! she is so cute. what a shame that eddie is gonna traumatise her :((

oh my god almost forgot about the sperm donor storyline. honestly what a mess. i dont like it. clearly buck was the wrong person to do it, because the look on his face when he saw the baby that was biologically his??? i wanted to d!e.... what the fuck. why would they do that to him..... thats so fucked up. also having him help the mother of the child for... weeks???? and then also assisting in the birth of said child???? JAIL. what the fuck. what the fuck.

natalia apparently "really sees him" after she asked him about dying??????????????????? im so confused about why he felt so strongly right away, he needs some therapy. like she is super pretty and super cool, dont get me wrong!! but it was one date... dude, get up.

the proposal storyline... not my fav but i loved maddie being the one to propose to chim!! that was adorable, i love the two of them together sososososo much..... and i love jee! she is adorable, especially when she drove buck crazy when he was babysitting her.

the catastrophe at the end of the season couldve maybe gotten dragged out more, with more stations assisting and without having chim, an experienced paramedic, moving around and removing an object that pierced him from his body, the one thing he always tells victims NOT to do. it could've be done a lot better i think, even if buck was really cool during it.

lucyyyyyyy i miss youuuuu and also lena bosko still!!!

i get what people meant when talking about the couch theory now. i get it. yessss couch theory!!!!!!

fun. idk how ill watch all of season 7 before s8 starts but yay!!!

[sideburns-and-cigarettes]

NEW EPISODE: Part 1, Ep. 16 - "Operation: Jewelry Snatch"

In this episode Drew, Emma, Chris, and Natalie discuss The Great Hoover Heist of 1972 in Part 1, Episode 16, "Operation Jewelry Snatch."

Poor Lupin can't catch a break. Gaslit by Fujiko to perform a brazen heist at an upscale jewelry store only for her to double-cross him. Beaver, the store's less-than-upstanding owner, intends get even with both of them. To make matters even worse, Zenigata is out to nab every party involved. Is there any way for Lupin to come out on top?

Hope you enjoy it!

[devirnis]

WIP Wednesday

tagged by @messyhairdiaz MWAH

more from the holiday movie au! poor boys can't catch a break

Eddie wheels Buck down the hall to the machine. Just after he’s pushed Buck through the doors to the CT scan room, Buck suddenly straightens up. “Eddie,” he says frantically, looking up at him. “What time is it? Weren’t you only working a half shift before your flight?” Eddie’s stomach drops. He quickly checks his watch — he should already be on his way to pick up Chris from Carla’s. It’s not late enough that he’s risking missing their flight, but he won’t be able to stay for the procedure. “Buck…” he says regretfully. “It’s okay.” Buck gives him a warm smile. “You have a flight to catch. I’ll be fine.” It takes everything in him not to lean down and kiss Buck right then and there. But he doesn’t want to start something and then immediately disappear to Texas for two weeks, so he resists the impulse. Besides, if he’s been reading things right, this will be something he can look forward to in the new year. “Okay,” Eddie says. He settles for squeezing Buck’s hand one more time. “Promise you’ll text me with updates.” “I will. Now go, you don’t want to miss your flight.”

if you wanna @bigfootsmom @homerforsure @spaceprincessem @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy @housewifebuck @giddyupbuck @alyxmastershipper @honestlydarkprincess @jeeyuns @bvckandeddie @eowon @wildlife4life @sibylsleaves @try-set-me-on-fire @shortsighted-owl @disasterbuckdiaz <3 <3 <3

[gakehc]

Temptation (Part 2)

You and Chris Motionless are always chatting but you both never saw each other in person. Now that he is finally in your country, you will need to work hard to not fall into his arms and end up in bed with him.

♡ Author's note: it took me a long time to write this because I was never satisfied and I wanted to write something really good. I think my english is kinda poor so that's why I'm feeling insecure but fuck it, we're here for the horny stuff. I hope you guys like it and PLEASE let me a feedback 🖤 not too long like the first part.

♡ Warnings:  This is a work involving real people but it's 100% fiction writen. Please remember that this is only for fun purposes and it doesn't reflect their real thoughts and behaviors. Don't take this work too serious. +18 only. Oral sex (male and female), dirty talk, fingering, female masturbation, p in v sex.

♡ Characters: Chris Motionless×reader

♡ MASTERLIST HERE.

PART I

Chris is still on the sidewalk and you have only a few seconds to decide what you are going to do. Is it really worth it to lose the chance to be with him even though it will be the first and last time? This is one of the hardest choices you have to make in your life; it's like having to decide between taking the blue or the red pill. You look quickly through the window and he's still there, looking at his phone and probably sending a message to someone. He looks up at the window but you hide behind the curtain, closing your eyes as you try to think straight. You know your body is craving for Chris, your heart it's telling you that this is your chance to finally do all the things you imagined all the times you were talking to him late at night. What does his lips taste like? Are they soft? Is he a good kisser? Dear God! You are starting to feel tortured by your own thoughts. 

As you try to peek if Chris is still there, you see that he is still looking at your window. He looks so frustrated that it breaks your heart. You should not let him go now! Not until you have the experience that you both are always wondering about. You just need to take a deep breath, be brave and go after him. 

You go down the stairs as fast as you can, almost tripping at some steps. The light from the hallway illuminates his face as he turns around to the building door, being catched by surprise when he sees you there, walking towards him.

"Chris!" You say, sounding a little desperate and out of breath. Going down the stairs so fast was not a good idea.

"Is anything wrong?" He is worried about your situation. 

"Yes… I mean… No! Kind of!".

Acts are better than words and you can't think straight right now. You throw yourself on Chris' arms and cup his face while your lips take the initiative with an intense kiss. He tastes so good, your tongues curling around together while he pulls your body and grabs your waist with his strong and big hands.  

A taxi arrives to pick Chris and take him to the hotel but you quickly talk to the driver, and soon he leaves. Chris is confused but he's really hoping that you changed your mind about him. The idea of finally spending the night with you is making his heart race a little, it's not that he is nervous like he used to get when he was a teenager but being with you it's something that really excites him. It's kind of a rush of adrenaline when he waits for you to say what he wants to hear. 

"I want you to stay" you say.

You hope that Chris hasn't changed his mind because of your indecision and of course he didn't. Actually, he loved to see how desperate you looked when you appeared at the door, in the end you couldn't resist. When you're back to the apartment, you feel his strong hands catching you again and pinning you against the wall. He presses your body against him while he kisses you slowly, feeling how soft your lips are. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you let yourself go into this lust filled kiss while his hand goes down and grabs one of your thighs, pushing it and wrapping around his waist. Soon you break to catch some breath, his eyes gazing at your face like he wants to record in his mind all the little details on it like the sun made freckles on your cheeks and the format of your lips, how your eyeliner was drawn in a very thin and delicate way and how the green in your eyes can change because of the lightning. You feel your cheeks reddening a little, no one ever looked at you this way. 

"You're so fucking pretty, I want to fuck you so much" he mumbles, his voice never sounded so damn sexy.

"So do it. Fuck me, Christopher". 

This is everything he wanted to hear. He squeezes your butt and you let your head fall behind, letting him go down on your neck and press soft kisses on your skin, but you want it rough, you need more. Chris is not a guy who tends to be too delicate, he is just trying not to scare you. He knows that you were unsure about doing this.

"I will, darling… I will fuck you hard" his words are driving you crazy. 

You both can't wait anymore. You desperately start to take his shirt off as he helps you, showing his full tattooed chest. He picks you up and you tangle your legs around his waist, his hands holding your butt and squeezing them, making you gasp. He places you on the dinner table, spreading your legs and lifting your dress up, tossing it around. You're full of heath deep inside your whole body, every single piece of you is begging to feel Chris touching you. He looks at your red laced underwear, his eyes full of lust and the most depraved intentions. He bites his bottom lips when you finally take off your bra, burrowing his face on your neck, feeling how good you smell. He loves the fruity floral scent of your perfume and how it smells like cherry in the beginning and ends smelling like jasmine. It suits you so well. His lips kissing you and gently sucking your skin in a path from your neck to your collarbone, going down to your breasts. 

"How big they are… so naturally beautiful" he says, admiring you. 

You indeed have really big breasts and you know men tend to like it. Chris' big hands are perfect to cup and squeeze them really hard, he plays with your hard nipples as your skin shivers at his touch. His tongue sucks one of them and he grabs it with his teeths, making you feel a little bit of pain. The way he works with his tongue is so delicious that you wonder how good it would be to feel him licking you down there. His strong hands pushes you closer to him, your legs around his body. You move your hips slowly, griding your crotch against his as you can feel the huge volume on his pants, making your pussy throb. 

"Fuck, you naughty bitch" he smirks. 

Chris quickly moves you to the couch, laying you there and spreading your legs again. He is feeling his mouth watering as he takes off your soaking wet panty, loving to see how wet you are. You're breathing fast as he gets closer to your arousal.

"What a beautiful pussy, I don't even need to touch it to know that it is soaking wet… is this for me?". 

"Yeah" you mumble.

"Mm… that's so good. I wonder how it tastes like". 

He starts to tease you by rubbing his fingers slowly on your folds, making you almost beg for him to do more. He is loving to see the desperation in your eyes, how much you want him to touch you. It reminds him of all the times he wanted to feel you but you were miles and miles away from each other. Chris always wanted to know how good it would be to feel your body on his. He finally inserts two fingers inside of you, taking in and out, feeling every inch of your core as he looks for a special spot inside of you. Soon, he finds the right place and starts to rub it with his fingers, not too slow but not too fast, just enough to make you feel so fucking good you can't hold yourself. 

"Fuck, I need to taste it" he's impatient.

You can't help but moan louder when his tongue finally touches your clit. Your moans are like music to Chris' ears, he could listen to your pleasure gruns all day long. He knows exactly where your best spots are like he had a map or something, it's impossible to believe that this is your first time with him. It feels like he has known you since forever. 

"Fuck… oh yes" you groan, making him giggle.

"I want you to cum on my mouth, baby. Can you do that for me?".

"Y-yes".

He puts two fingers inside of your pussy again while he licks your clit in circular motions. Soon, he sucks it so hard it makes a little noise. You grab a pillow with all the strength you have when you feel the orgasm building. Chris knows that you are close so he moves his fingers faster as his eyes keep watching your reactions. He likes to see how beautiful you look when you're about to cum, your mouth open as you roll your eyes in pleasure. 

"Oh my god, Christopher…".

You start to feel an orgasm like you never had before, it makes you curl your toes and arch your back as a huge wave of electricity possesses you completely. All this pleasure makes you want to do something that you always imagine about. Besides being a really good friend to you, Chris has woken something in you that you can't fight. All the times he flirts with you, you wonder how good his dick must taste like. How you would love to take everything in your mouth, even though sucking dicks isn't your thing. You quickly start to work on his pants before Chris finally gets rid of it. You grab him by his arm, making him sit on the couch. You go down on your knees, in front of him, and he knows what you want to do. He opens his legs so you can position yourself between them as your fingers work on the band of his boxers, pulling it out desperately. Your eyes shine when you face his already hard cock right in front of you, and soon you are stroking him before you put it inside your mouth.

"You have no idea how many times I thought about fucking your pretty mouth" he says.

His words are enough to make you feel the warmth inside your thighs getting even warmer that it could burn. His hands grabbing your hair and pushing your head against his crotch. You open your legs a little bit and start to touch your clit, rubbing slowly while your mouth keeps sucking Chris' delicious cock. 

"Seems like sucking me makes you horny" he says.

It really does. You just take his cock off of your mouth to smile but soon you put it back in again. You want to take everything inside your throat, even though it will make you gag. Chris has a long dick so it's not easy to keep everything in your mouth. It's so good to see him gasping while you lick his head in circular motions, his mouth opening while he tries to breathe normally. 

"Fuck…" he mumbles, making you feel proud of yourself.

It's impossible to hold yourself anymore. There's a urge to feel Chris inside of you, fucking you hard like he said he would. 

"Oh, please! I can't wait anymore" you say.

"You want me to fuck you, that's right?".

"Mm" you nod.

"How much do you want it?".

"I want it badly! Let me ride you!".

You straddle him and one of his hands is on your hip as the other is rubbing the tip of his cock on your folds. You help him get inside of you and the feeling of taking his cock is absolutely amazing. His is so long that he reaches the deepest part of your core as you go up and down on him. You start slowly, and now it's Chris that is feeling desperate. He wants to fuck you hard and rough. 

"I always knew that your cock would feel so damn good inside of me" it's your turn to tease him "All those nights when I was alone, hearing your voice through the phone, I always thought about riding you like this". 

Chris is about to go insane! You see how crazy he is to fuck you harder so you move faster for him, just he way he likes it. He also moves his hips to help you, making his cock go even deeper. Chris' groanings turn you on so much that it makes you bounce your hips fast, your crotch hitting against his and making a loud noise. He slaps your buttcheek so hard that you turn your head back and let out a huge moan, then he grabs both of them with all his strength. You like the pain that his large hands are providing you. 

Chris likes to see you leading the movements but his nature is to be in command. There's an energy inside of him that needs to come off, it's like a beast that he needs to release. This makes him pull you up on his arms again, taking you to the bedroom and throwing you on the bed, making your body bounce on the mattress. His hands grab your thighs and spread them so he can fit between them. You feel his cock roughly entering inside you again, going deep and straight to the point. The way your warm walls embrace Chris's cock is driving him crazy, he pounds inside of you so hard you start to scream, it's so strong that you're afraid the bed might break. Thank God you're leaving in two days and you won't need to deal with the neighbors complaining how loud you are. 

"Fuck, Christopher!" You groan.

"You're taking it so good, baby".

Sweat it's dripping from his chest as he moves even faster, all the sexual energy he had to hold all day long is being released now. He was dying to fuck you like this. The once perfect eyeliner on your eyes is now blurry and ruined, the mascara melting on your cheeks. And again, the orgasm is building on your core, your whole body shaking and shivering as you try to deal with all the pleasure you're feeling. You never thought that you were able to feel this. It's happening again, you're cuming in the most breath taking way. Chris smiles as he feels your arousal clenching his cock, he knows you're cuming for the second time. 

"Mm, that's right" he takes his cock inside of you and sees that it's all soggy with your juice "Your cum is all over my dick" he smiles.

Now it's his time. You want Chris to fill you with his warm liquid so you desperately hold his throbbing cock and put it inside of your pussy again. There's a smirk on Chris' face, he is loving to see how naughty you are because he never had seen this side of you yet; it's sinful and dirty, just the way he likes it. Seeing you so surrendered to him is messing with every single cell of his body. Finally he cums inside of you like he always wanted to. His seed filling you while he groans in the sexiest way possible. You feel so satisfied as he gazes at you, his dick still on you because he doesn't want to let go of you yet. 

Soon, he collapses at your side. There's a weird feeling in your chest, you wonder if Chris will still be the nice guy and friend he is to you or if he will stop caring about you now that he got what he wanted. Of course you wanted it too, you always did, but you know how men are. Is Chris different from the others? You close your eyes with fear, did you made the right choice? You gave yourself to him, let him take you on a journey it's going to be hard to forget. 

"You're amazing" he says, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

"You're not that bad, too".

"What?" He laughs "I just made you cum real good, you were moaning like a bitch a few minutes ago".

"Yes I was" you laugh as your cheeks blush "But that doesn't mean anything".

"Yeah" he's ironic. 

Chris wraps his arms around you as he pulls you closer to him. Your eyes close and you start to rewind what happened in the last hour. Isn't it unfair how things work for both of you? You have a good life in Sweden, a lot of things to consider while there's a nice and hot guy touring around the world and you can't follow him. But you hope you two can still be friends just like you always did. 

                                                  •

The noise of Chris' phone ringing makes you open your eyes from the best sleep you had in months. You can see through the window that the sun is already shining. Soon, Chris awakes. He snorts, annoyed by the fact that is probably one of the guys calling him. He gets up and goes to the living room, you're watching his naked body as he searches for his phone in the pocket of his jeans. You can't believe how hot he is, you love how his thighs are thick even though tall guys tend to be skinnier, the way his strong arms are covered with beautiful tattoos. 

"Calm down, I will be there in a few minutes" he says, quickly hanging off the phone "It was Ricky. We overslept".

"What time is it?".

"Almost 1 p.m.".

"Shit!" You jump on the mattress.

"I need to go".

He dresses himself very fast and soon he's ready to go. But first, he gives one last look to your naked body laying on the bed. You look so beautiful, even though your hair is kinda tangled and there's some blurred makeup on your face. 

"Fuck… you're so beautiful" he says, that velvety voice you love to hear "I wish I could stay and fuck you one more time".

"Don't worry, we still have plenty of time after the concert".

"Seems like you're insatiable".

"Only me?" You give him a naughty smirk.

"See you later, then".

Your lips meet in a delicate kiss and you wish you could get some more but Chris really needs to go. But before he leaves, you need to bring some peace to your heart.

"Wait…" you say, getting up and running towards him, who waits at the door.

You hug him tight, feeling the fabric of his clothes against your skin, the smell of his cologne making you get wet again "Are we still good friends?".

"Of course, baby. You are one of my dearest friends". 

"I just wanted to make sure" you lay your head on his chest. 

"Don't worry about this. See you later?".

"Sure!"

[dudadragneel]

OMG NOT GORE HELLO???

I just thought of a Hyune one where he breaks his arm but he has a recording he can’t miss a few days later and reader goes with him and he starts crying because one of the members accidentally bump into him and he’s in sm pain. And after that he’s just really clingy with reader and is being super touchy and doesn’t wanna let go of her. Like he won’t even let her drive because he wants to lean on her so maybe Chris drives idk. Then they go to a little cafe to take a breath but he starts feeling feverish and dizzy and go home. THEN (bare w me here) reader has to go out to study or something and leaves him w boys. Then he gets a high fever and the medicine they give him makes him throw up and they don’t know what to do so they call y/n and she has to rush to him knowing he’d barely eaten that day.

YIKES maybe this was teww long but I felt inspired idk 🩵🤍have fun w this one on your little writing streak

- 🧚🏽‍♀️

Hello, dear 🧚🏽‍♀️!

Ahahahhaaa sorry, I needed to make sure 🤣

I really like this one! Poor Hyunjin just can't catch a break from injuries 🥺

It's on my notes!

💜

[poisonousash]

The reason I think Chris didn't cry at the of the game because he cried over Piers and the reason why he was so distant to ethan cause he didn't wanted to get close to someone he knew he was going to lose, he thought if he didn't let him in it wouldn't hurt when did lost him so that's why he didn't tell Ethan the plan, he thought it would keep him safe but doing that caused consequences. Letting Ethan fight beside him would only get him killed... He knew that but he also knew that what he was doing was wrong.

So should he had listened to his teammates and let him in?

Yes, it might have been better even though it might get him killed, Ethan would be on his side and understood if he had just talked to him, Ethan trusted him when he and his wife was saved in Louisiana by him..

(This song is what Chris was going through in Re8 so if you listen to it, you would understand why I put it there)

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

Let's say that some "no way home" shit is happening and the universe collides and stuff, and instead of multiverse villains coming in the main one, the boys just discover AO3/Tumblr/Wattpad, etc.

Would chuckle and try to hide his smile. He would also blush when he read steamy stuff. He is amazed by how many people he is shipped with and would spend nights reading fics about him.

He would make an account to mostly keep his favorite works. He would also try to write some stuff with him, thinking it would be easy since it comes from the source, but people say it's OOC. 

"Well, story of my life..." Thus, "@the-story of-my-life" was born. He gets sued by Capcom for copyright infringement. Poor guy can't catch a break, even in another universe. 

Also, his hair has its own fandom.

First, what the fuck is a "ship" and why people are "shipping" him with Chris? His eyes widen at the intense NSFW content made with him and his archnemesis, but the "x reader" stuff boosts his ego.

"They know me so well, it's amazing." He'd say it with pride in his tone.

It turns out he doesn't need a virus to mind control anyone, a shirtless picture would do just fine. Thus, "@realalbertwesker" was born on Twitter.

Why people ship him with his archnemesis is beyond him. Still, he quickly falls into addiction and stays up all night reading fics about him. They just put a smile on his face.

He is shocked to see how many people got him right. They got his preferences right—how he cuddles and what he likes to eat—and goddamn, even his dick size is accurate.

"Am I that transparent?"

No, Chris, we are just obsessed. You're hot.

Why is everyone calling him a "DILF"? What's a DIFL? And why is Mia either dead or divorced in almost all fics?

After some quick research, he laughs out loud, finding all of this hilarious and quite enjoyable. He likes all the fics, both SFW and NSFW, and he has no shame reading steamy things next to his wife.

He is addicted to slow-burn fanfiction because it keeps him hooked, and he lives for the drama. He starts a Wattpad account to write his life story: "Ethan Winters: from ordinary guy to mold." Everyone says that it’s OOC.

This man never thought he'd be worthy of being simping material. Still, his ego is increasing with each fics he reads about him.

He has a Tumblr account called "@ask-heisenberg-203". He also buys many checkmarks using Miranda’s credit card. He really wants the rainbow.

He lives for the "x reader" stuff mostly because he feels loved with all his flaws.

He is a ladies' man and would be so proud to see all the fics and headcanons about him.

He can’t stop blushing at all the cute headcanons, and he even submits. His username is "@definitely-not-carlos" and he reblogs content about himself or Jill.

He lives for the spicy stuff, and at some point, he writes too (from personal experience).

Let’s face it, he makes a Tumblr account just to write fanfics about himself. Luis is a very good writer and gets many followers in a short time.

"My, my, these people are very horny. And why is everyone shipping me with Sancho?" He said after reading a few smuts that it's ok 'cause he likes the attention he gets.

"Damn, Leon looks good in those thongs..." He would say that after seeing some pictures. He thinks of getting a tramp stamp too because if it looks good on Leon, it would look stunning on him.

Taglist: @rokurodokuro @shadow-wolf510 @skylar-todd @lunarastrobabe @alewesker

[i-cant-sing]

In RE 8, imagine all the stress and mental breakdowns teen reader has and her hair just turns… white. I heard that stress can turn one’s hair white and I randomly had that thought

Poor reader, imagine the many of times she was almost shot by the Hound Wolf squad cuz her hair be blending in with the snow and Chris nearly has a heart attack everytime he hears her yelp or whenever Handsome protects reader by taking a bullet or 2

Soldier 1: *is looking through the scope and sees something white and moving from the distance, assumes it’s a Lycan or a rabbit* firing *a loud shot rings out*

(Y/N): *almost gets hit if the bullet didn’t hit a tree next to her and just about at her breaking point* I JUST WANNA FIND MY DAD AND SISTER AND GO HOOOOOME!!! *Handsome gets in the way as he takes a bullet to the shoulder while patting reader’s head*

Chris: CEASE FIRE- (Y/N)?! That you?

(Y/N): *THIS 👌🏽 close to breaking down and got better jokes then Ethan* No, it’s your daughter! 🥲

And Chris probably does know sarcasm but chooses to ignore it and scoops reader in his arms while wrapping his jacket around her cuz it looks warm enough

Oh you mean that when squad looks through their binoculars, they see this person climbing up into Dimitrescu's castle:

Poor reader is getting shot at by the squad, chased down by monsters, Heisenberg's being a dick, Rose has apparently been chopped up into pieces and Duke was all out of twinkies😭😭😭

And as much as reader tries to put on a brave face, hell she's quaking in her boots. Drowning in anxiety, ready to breakdown any moment, forced to take a shit in the snow while Handsome stood guard because she can't even catch a break from dying then either.

"Handsome, look away." You said, squatting down in the bushes, ready to take a piss after you felt like your bladder was gonna burst. It was already hard peeing in the snow, but with someone standing there- yeah, not an easy job. You're about to relieve yourself when a bullet fires right past your ear. You don't even have time to react before Handsome tackles you down, covering your body with his as bullets are fired.

That's when you finally begin screaming.

Your scream is what makes Chris tell his guys to cease fire. He's wondering if it's you when suddenly you appear out of the bushes, Handsome carrying you over his shoulder while you scream profanities at whoever shot at you.

"Whoever fucking fired at me, while i was going, YOUR MOM'S A HOE AND YOU BETTER FUCKING PRAY TO GOD THAT I DONT FIND YOU OR I WILL BREAK YOUR KNEECAPS!" And Handsome just pats your head to calm you down.

Handsome probably takes her to a nearby abandoned house, and while reader is busy in the bathroom, our cyborg takes care of all the monsters and soldats outside🥰🥰🥰