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queen-of-writing-bad-things · 7 months ago

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Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 11: The Thousand Prank War Part 2

Season 1 Masterlist

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Word count : 15K

Days passed since the beginning of The Prank War, and with each dawn, the end became more and more obscure.

Neither Swellview nor Rivalton showed any interest in ending the bitter feud, with new, mischievous attacks happening daily – the latest more prank-tastic and devastating than the last. It was only to be expected as everyone took sides; those from Swellview jeered from their side of the Jandy River, and, on the other, Archduke Fernando led his fellow Rivaltons.

Amongst them stood Mika, who sneered at those who cast her out – namely Ray. Her deferment to the enemy left a bitter taste in the hero's mouth, and he swore he'd never trust that traitor again. How could he?

Not only had she ruined his gorgeous locks – which still required a wig to keep up the façade – but she was also the catalyst for his argument with his beloved wife. The hero blamed her, cursing her name every night when he slipped between icy bedsheets, longing for his sweet girl.

In all their years of dating, they'd never had a fight last this long, and it was beginning to show.

"Hey, Bosey..." muttered (y/n) as she plodded into The Nest, looking like a physical wreck. She heaved a heavy sigh as she plonked on the couch across from the boy, burrowing her ashen face in her arms on the table after another night of next to no sleep.

"Hey, (y/n/n)!" The boy chirped, although his chipper mood died when he saw her unkempt hair and baggy, Adam Sandler-like clothes. She didn't have the energy to get dressed nicely, too busy moping around and avoiding her doofus – kinda difficult when they lived in the same place.

She glanced at what he was doing and was surprised to see the boy writing a note with paper and a pencil. She didn't even know he could write. Or read. "What are you doing?"

"I'm writing my letter to the Tooth Fairy!" Bose told her happily, turning the sheet around so she could decipher his barely legible scrawl. "Y'know, 'cause of what happened..."

"Oh..." All the heroine did was nod, having heard through Schwoz's grapevine of the terrible rise in pranking, to which not even Danger Force was immune. Still, she chuckled and thought the kid was too old to write to the Tooth Fairy, not that she'd ever tell him and ruin that happy, go-lucky optimism.

"What are you telling her?"

"Do you want me to read it to you?" The boy asked, poking her forehead when his friend nuzzled into her arms again, clearly going through a severe doofus withdrawal.

(y/n) nodded, not even opening her eyes from the tiredness she felt. Everything felt so droopy and colourless, a symptom of barely being around Ray in days since they couldn't be in the same room without bickering, but she missed him. Oh, God, she missed him, sighing every few minutes from the utter heartache in her chest.

"Sure."

"Dear Tooth Fairy..." Always a good start. "This wretched Prank War with Rivalton rages on. I write to you because I recently bit into a prank sausage, resulting in the loss of my final baby tooth."

The woman couldn't help but raise her head at that, shaking it with exasperation. After checking the Man's Nest security cameras, everyone knew how The Archduke preyed on poor BrainStorm, luring him in with a frankfurter on a fishing line like a pig with a carrot. "What have I told you about eating random sausages, Bose?"

"Not too?" The boy winced. In hindsight, he felt a little dumb, prodding the empty, fleshy gap in his teeth, and he remembered the pain of biting into the rock-solid wiener.

"Exactly," (y/n) answered, although her smile was gentle as her gaze returned to his endearing letter. "Carry on. What else have you written?"

He cleared his throat and moved the tip of his pencil down the page, using it to find his place and follow the words – they could be so tricky sometimes. "Even worse than losing that tooth was losing my friend, Mika, to the other side. She pranks for those no-good Rivaltons ever since Ray banished her from Swellview."

"Does the Tooth Fairy really need to know this?" (y/n) frowned, swallowing thickly as her tummy swooped at the mention of her adorable idiot. She still couldn't forgive him for what he did to that poor girl, but every second of every day, she pined for him.

"I always tell her my problems!" Bose replied with a toothy grin, and the heroine smiled weakly at his childlike joy. "Anyway... How quickly she has risen through their ranks with her savage prankery, leaving us in Swellview jealous and lonely—but not as lonely as my boss, Ray."

Her eyes widened at that, not sure if she wanted to hear anymore or else it might make her even more depressed. But Bose carried on, so proud of his writing that he couldn't help himself, no matter how much trouble it would get him in.

"He and (y/n) keep fighting, torn between their love and their duties. One to the city of Swellview and the other to Mika as her mentors—"

"What did I say about writing letters?!" An angry voice ripped through Bose's narration, and (y/n)'s head zipped up to see her furious husband looming over the kid. With his hands on his hips, wearing one of the last shirts she steamed, he looked unfairly handsome, and it took all her energy not to moan at the sight of him.

"I must sign off now. My boss is about to take my penc—" Just as he predicted, Ray snatched the pencil from his hand, stopping the stupid, sentimental scribbling before it could reveal any more of their secrets.

He snapped it in half with his bare hands, and the boy couldn't help but gasp quietly, looking forlorn. How was the Tooth Fairy supposed to know who wrote that letter now?

"Sir!"

"No!" Said Ray angrily as he discarded the broken wood and graphite. He'd only ventured upstairs for a snack, but when he heard the melodious sound of his wife's voice, he had to see her. He was going stir-crazy with every hour he didn't.

"We do not write letters, and we do not write about our feelings!"

(y/n) glared, heaving her lead-like body from the couch to stand before her grumpy husband, hands on her hips as she, equally grumpy, tried to match his great height. "Raymond, if Bose wants to write a letter, let him write a letter! Leave the boy alone!"

"Oh, so you actually want to talk to me now?" The hero's brow rose in mock surprise, his voice rude and catty as his wife rolled her eyes. She wasn't in the mood for him to pick yet another argument.

"Stop acting like a child," she replied coldly, crossing her arms as she tried to ignore how good it felt to be near him again – standing so close she could breathe in his cologne.

Ray just stuck his tongue out, hoping his petulance would numb the sting in his chest when he saw her wounded expression. "Make me!"

She looked so small yet...adorable, and was that his shirt she wore? It was too big and baggy to be anybody else's, but the woman hugged her body tighter when Ray tried to get a better look. Pinching the bridge of her nose, (y/n) sighed, already sensing the growing frostiness in the air, and she turned to the young boy still sitting at the table.

"Bose..." She said, sounding unusually pleasant. "I baked some brownies earlier, so why don't you run along to the kitchen and help yourself?"

He just shrugged, too busy picking his fingers and poking his dimples to pick up on the subtle hint. "I ate earlier..."

So, she switched tactics, trying to keep calm and composed when her doofus didn't take his eyes off her. "There's sausages in the refrigerator."

"I'm gone!" They watched as Bose scrambled off the couch, nearly tripping over his feet to get to those sausages – hopefully prank-free ones. It left Ray and his sweet girl alone, rocking on their heels as the room fell awkwardly silent.

"You let him eat your brownies?" The man asked first, pouting when she didn't immediately look at him. And that hurt. "What about me?"

(y/n) just looked at him tiredly, still wanting to smack him in the mouth, but he was too gorgeous for that. Too gorgeous for his own good.

She wanted to dive into his arms—let him comfort her—but her feet were glued to the floor, holding their ground as she held her nerve. "I'm still mad at you."

"Sweet girl..." Her eyes closed upon hearing his gentle, crooning voice, feeling it wrap around her like a warm embrace. "You didn't come to bed last night. Again."

She looked up, lamenting how lost and lonely he looked, staring at her with those teary puppy-dog eyes. His fingers itched to touch her, having dreamed of holding her close and feeling her lips on his, but neither moved, simply standing there at a stalemate as they had been for days.

"And I won't."

Ray's face fell, shredding the sliver of hope in his chest. Maybe he'd been too optimistic, thinking after four nights away, she had to return to his arms, where they'd love and laugh again. His wife shook her head, an apologetic yet determined glint in her eye.

"Not until Mika is allowed back here, where she belongs. Until then, I'll stay in the guest room."

"You saw what she and those filthy Rivaltons did to Bose! You cleaned up his bloody gums!" He exclaimed, scrubbing his five o'clock shadow and frowning as he tried to remember why he came in to start with—to try and put things right."She's a traitor!"

(y/n) couldn't dispute that, yet she sighed deeply, growling in frustration for what felt like the hundredth time. Every time they got close—just when she thought they'd kiss and make up—they exchanged the exact words, and this time was no different.

Her temper flared, knowing she'd end up in the guest suite again, but it felt worth it. She felt someone had to stay in Mika's corner, even if she lost sight of why it was worth it.

"How many times?! This whole dumb Prank War is ridiculous! You're being ridiculous!"

"Oh, I'm being ridiculous?" Ray spat, prodding his chest in self-gesture, scoffing, and laughing humourlessly at what he saw as a sarcastic joke. "You're only saying that 'cause you can't get pranked!"

"I'm saying it because what you did was unfair!" The woman argued with tears in her eyes, hating how her voice rose in tandem with his. She hated shouting at him and being shouted at, but the words kept coming. "I care about the children, and they include Mika."

"You care too much."

Ray paused, swallowing with a dry mouth as he looked at her – the one he loved more than anyone else in the world. He wanted her to see it the way he did, searching his brain for the right words, but he didn't have them. He never did. He'd never been good with words. "That's always been your problem."

Silence filled the room, and the hero knew he'd hit a nerve. He dipped his head, glancing away when hurt crossed her pretty face.

(y/n) wasn't an idiot. She knew instantly that it was said in the heat of the moment, but she only cared because he said it. Her doofus. The one she cared for the most. The one who watched as she cared for the wrong people and had her heart broken.

Blinking back tears and sniffling, she gulped and steeled herself, acting like it wasn't a low blow squarely in her insecurities. "...If all we're going to do is argue, then I'm gonna go take a shower."

"Shit—sweet girl—" Ray felt like time slowed down as she moved to brush past him, clearly fleeing the room before the tears fell, and he felt rotten.

His hand darted out before he knew what he was doing or what he would say, but he thankfully caught her wrist. Hoping he could smooth things over, he pulled her to his chest and they enjoyed the brief contact until the heroine snapped back to reality and yanked herself away.

"Let go of me, Ray." Her tone was hard and icy, masking her deep sorrow, but when she tried to prise off his fingers, Ray couldn't bring himself to do it.

"At least let me take the guest room," he said softly, stopping just short of an apology. His ego wouldn't let him – not yet, anyway – but he saw the bags under her eyes and knew of her exhaustion.

His touch became tender, gently squeezing her soft flesh as he smiled sadly. The guest room was comfortable enough, and as much as he'd rather her return to their bedroom and him, he could bunk in there. It was the gentlemanly thing to do, he told himself.

"You deserve a good night's sleep in a bed you're used to."

(y/n) returned the melancholy expression. Her smile didn't reach her eyes, and her voice was nearly a whisper as she shook her head. "It doesn't matter. I can't sleep if you're not there."

She slipped from his grasp, muttering and resigning herself to another night of restless slumber. "You know that."

Watching her flee, the hero clenched his fists and looked at the ceiling, hissing curse word after curse word under his breath. That was his fifth attempt at saying sorry, and he royally blew it. Hell, he made everything worse.

It turned out that he didn't know what to say. He had no idea how he was going to put things right. He didn't know if he could.

"What the hell happened?"

(y/n) stormed into the Man's Nest, having heard a commotion all the way down the hall. Hours passed since she bickered with her doofus, and after hiding in the bedroom with a mountain of snacks and three rom-coms, she felt okay again. Or at least ready for round two.

It was as she exited the bath that she heard screams and shouts – not uncommon in The Nest lately, but that was usually her fault. Or Ray's. Not this time, though, which she swiftly discovered upon dashing into the main room, only to be met with a strange yet concerning scene.

She frowned and froze, puzzled by the peculiar sight of her doofus kneeling over poor Bose, who was passed out and sprawled across her gleaming floors. Ray had him by the collar, shaking his limp body as if that would bring him to consciousness, and (y/n) couldn't help but wonder...

"What's wrong with Bose?" She'd only seen him in the early afternoon.

"Live! Live, goddamn you!" Ray bellowed, seemingly ignorant of his sweet girl's questions as he tried in vain to get a peep from the boy. He still looked handsome, arms bulging and flexing when he lifted the kid by the scruff. The wig remained vile, but the heroine could make an exception in that bright shirt. Not that she'd show it.

Chapa rolled her eyes as she rummaged in her locker, giving the woman a placating glance since she'd put up with the moping hero all afternoon. "He's not dead."

"Thank God for that..."

"You hear that?!" Ray swallowed a sob as he relaxed his hold on Bose, but he didn't let go – he was too dramatic for that. "You're not dead! So live!"

"You shook him to sleep!" Chapa exclaimed, seeing the peaceful expression on the kid's face. The violent shaking was like a lullaby and a warm glass of milk to him; he relaxed against the cool tiles, and no matter what Ray did, he wouldn't wake.

"Don't you quit on me! You've never quit on anything in your life! Don't quit on me now!"

The girl sighed, wondering why a grown man couldn't listen as she shut her locker, shoved her hands in her pockets, and gave her friend a slight shrug. "Just let him finish his nap!"

"Okay, can someone tell me what's going on?" (y/n) asked, scratching her head in confusion because Bose had done many things, but he didn't typically nap on the floor. Nor did her husband care so much – unlike her—the one who cared too much.

Chapa paused momentarily, debating her words carefully as she pursed her lips. There was no easy way to explain it, but she walked over to the woman and wrapped an arm around her, drawing a pouty, jealous look from the doofus on his knees.

"Mika and the Rivaltons pranked Bose."

"Again?!" Her brows furrowed before glancing at the poor kid, who'd suffered the ultimate betrayal. "How could he fall for it a second time?"

"He went to Hee Haw Purée, they watched Dog Bachelor, he opened a prank can of peanuts...the rest is history," replied Chapa, her shoulders slumped as she looked pitifully at her fallen friend.

Now the heroine looked at him more closely – trying not to stare at her doofus, too – she saw a deep, purpley-yellowish bruise around the boy's eye. Whatever Mika stuffed in the can hit him squarely in the face, making him look half-raccoon under The Nest's bright, white lights.

"Right... Yeah, no, that is a problem. Poor Bosey..."

"I will never forgive Mika for what she did to him!" Ray exclaimed, leaving the boy to rest on the floor as he stood up, facing the girl and his beloved wife. Having , she looked as beautiful as ever, and she stood there fiddling with her rings – bestill his beating heart.

"Yeah, well, maybe thee shouldn't have cast her out," (y/n) answered, her tongue betraying her mind with the spiteful comment. She couldn't help herself, also poking the man's muscly arm just to feel his warm skin, and it was so squishy yet firm under her fingertip.

Ray glared – not specifically at his sweet girl but the whole problem. His heart flipped when she touched him for the first time in days, and it was only a prod. "She took it too far! So, I'm going to take it, too—farther-er!"

"How are you gonna do that, you big doofus?" The woman asked sceptically, folding her arms as her grumpy husband stomped around like a clueless elephant.

"SCHWOZ!" Well, that answered her question. Like always, Ray wasn't going to solve his own problems; he'd get his little genius to do it for him, but all that bellowing had one positive.

His voice was so loud, echoing off the walls and windows, that it woke Bose up. The boy sleepily rose from his comatose state, blearily blinking at his friends as he pushed his silken hair from his eyes and smiled. "Oh, man... I think you shook me to sleep."

"Good to see you awake, Bosey..." (y/n) smiled, and she moved to help the kid to his feet, meeting Ray as she did.

Their shoulders brushed as they took the same arm, glancing awkwardly at each other after accidentally bumping knuckles. Schwoz barely knew what tension he walked into when he saw them jump apart like they'd been burned, gulping at the slightest skin-on-skin as if it was scandalous between lovers like them.

"Sorry, but all of Rivalton is going to pay for what Mika did to you," said the hero, sniffing nonchalantly like it wasn't a big deal. His goosebumps said otherwise.

"Ray..." said Schwoz as he waltzed in through the metal door, halfway through his evening snack. "You know I don't like being bothered when I'm eating peanuts from a can!"

The mere sight of his canned snack made Bose scream, clutching his temples in pure fear. The others frowned at his extreme reaction, but that prank traumatised him, hiding in (y/n)'s warm, snuggly hug.

"Can we just get to the going too farther-er already?" Asked Chapa flatly as she glanced at her trembling friend. Ray did, too, giving Bose a glaring side-eye as he enjoyed his sweet girl's arms, internally wailing since it had been too long since she patted his head like that.

Huffing and ignoring his loss to a literal child, the hero turned to Schwoz. "Yes. Go get Big Sudsy!"

"But he's on tour with Drake," argued Schwoz as he chewed his peanuts, which only baffled his boss. "You want me to buy us tickets?"

"Ooooh, I wanna see Drake!"

"Me too!" The kids said excitedly, with Bose peeking from the heroine's shoulder, still latched onto her like a leech whilst Schwoz had his snack. (y/n) just stroked his long, soft hair as if comforting a frightened animal, no matter how much his lanky frame weighed her down.

"Yeah, and I'm sure Drake would love to see you kids, too," she replied jokingly, although it went over their heads. So, instead, she looked at Ray and Schwoz as if the former didn't make her heart flutter.

"No, no! Big Sudsy is, like, a nuclear warhead but filled with soap!" The hero explained, and suddenly, his coconut-headed handyman understood, nodding in understanding.

(y/n) smiled at the nostalgia, remembering all the trouble that nuke had caused, or Susie, as it was known then. She and Ray weren't even married back when it happened; they still lived in the Man Cave, and Henry was still Kid Danger. It felt like a lifetime ago.

"Oh, yeah... Schwoz built it from parts of a nuclear bomb we found."

"Why would you take something awesome and fill it with soap?" Chapa asked, her voice stern and accusatory but a little confused. She didn't get why it was relevant, but looking at that brightly coloured idiot, she didn't understand him.

"To clean up this town..." muttered Ray gravelly, staring into space mysteriously, "but I think that Big Sudsy just found a new target."

Suddenly, (y/n) gasped, her eyes lighting up as her doofus grinned mischievously. Everything clicked in her mind, and she gave him a small, rather impressed smile. "Oh, I think I get it! Doo—Ray, did you just have a smart idea?"

"Not as stupid as I look, sweet girl," answered the hero, who savoured the warmth of her smile more than the hurt from how she said his name like that.

He wanted to be her doofus, but he didn't dwell on it, so lost in her soft gaze that Chapa had to nudge her friend back into reality. Honestly, the girl thought he looked stupid. She thought his shirt was dumb, for a start. "What do you get, (y/n/n)?"

"Rivalton's only source of income is grease."

"Bingo!" Ray snapped his fingers, smirking at his wife as she clarified for the girl. "That's my clever girl."

"Yeah, well..." (y/n) cleared her throat and glanced away, focusing on Bose as her ears warmed at the affection. She was still mad—she didn't want him to see her ridiculously wide smile, yet she felt like squealing at the praise.

"We drop a soap-nuke on Rivalton..."

"The soap from the blast destroys all their grease..."

"No more grease, no more Rivalton!" Schwoz grinned deviously, suddenly understanding what his boss aimed at with his mastermind plan. It was a little more complicated than Ray knew – neither he nor (y/n) would explain that it technically wasn't grease underground – but it was simpler to let him believe that.

And for Chapa, who rubbed her hands together at the sneaky evil of it all, it was a perfect plan. "And we go celebrate at the Drake show! Get box seats!"

Schwoz nodded and scooted away, eagerly running to grab his PearPhone before the tickets sold out. "On it!"

"Hey, Chapa! You're not in charge, okay?!" Ray told her sternly, not liking how his little helper scurried off dutifully, moulding his plan into her own.

The girl didn't care, rolling her eyes at his scolding as she calmly walked past him. She patted his rock-solid peck with a blasé smile, thinking it was time he made up with his wife since he was too prickly lately. "Okay, blondie."

"Stop laughing!" The hero hissed to his wife, who had to hide her face in her hands when he noticed how her shoulders shook.

(y/n) peeked through her fingers shyly, seeing that he wasn't actually mad. Just frustrated. Like her. A wave of strange easiness came over her, feeling like she'd laughed for the first time in a while as he batted the girl away.

"Oh, I'm definitely not laughing..."

"I'm getting us box seats!" Schwoz whispered to Chapa, his phone pressed against his ear, as she breezed through the metal door. She gave him a cheesy grin and two thumbs up before leaving the adults alone, having had enough of the awkward tension in the room.

With a final glance over her shoulder, she shook her head at the couple, noticing how they still skirted around each other, pretending like they didn't sneak longing looks whenever the other wasn't aware. The sooner they apologised, the better – if only they weren't so stubborn.

~The next day~

On Day Five of the Prank War, Captain Man switched to what he called war tactics.

If Rivalton could play dirty, he'd play dirtier. This was him going too far—ther—ererer... After securing their concert tickets, listening to another screaming match, and getting a good night's rest, Schwoz set up the gutted remains of Whistlin' Susie in the main room, where he planned to turn the once deadly nuclear bomb into a slipping, sliding, grease-busting machine.

With Ray hovering over him like grim death, of course.

The guy had nothing better to, pacing, mumbling, and grumbling as he haunted the Man's Nest, secretly exhausted after sleeping alone in the guest suite. He tried apologising for the sixth time before they went to bed, but it ended in shouting and tears, and his beloved wife stormed off in a huff.

Ray felt like an idiot, more on edge than ever as he barked orders at his handyman, hoping to expedite their revenge on that low-down, good-for-nothing snake, also known as Mika.

"He's called Big Sudsy, Schwoz!" He hissed, watching the genius' work whilst looming over him. "I don't see any suds!"

Schwoz sighed and rolled his eyes, arguing back over his shoulder as he tried to repaint the artwork on the nuke's casing. He'd stripped the old painting of the pinup girl, leaving himself a blank canvas to illustrate with a bubble-like mascot. That is, if Ray ever let him finish. "This is my work, okay? My nuke, my drawing! You're the only one who's doing nothing!"

"Will you two stop arguing?" (y/n) yelled over their raised voices, peering over Chapa's head.

They worked diligently and in silence for a while, preparing the soapy goodness for Schwoz to pour into Sudsy, but it was hard for her to measure the powder accurately when they bickered like that. Almost like arguing made everyone uncomfortable. "All the shouting is giving me a headache!"

Schwoz scoffed, scowling at the heroine as his paintbrush hovered over the paint-covered palette. "You're one to talk, (y/n/n)!"

She frowned at that, opening her mouth to protest, and the genius knew the question on her lips without even hearing it. What was that supposed to mean? She'd ask—as if she didn't know since she'd barely said two words to her husband all day.

"Hey!" Yet, it was Ray who came to her defence – of course, it was – and if looks could kill as he glared at the small man for snapping at her, slapping him upside the head. "You don't talk to her like that, you fuzzy little weirdo!"

It wasn't a fair fight; Schwoz was puny compared to Captain Man, standing there in his super-suit with the power to snap him like a twig. He had no choice but to hold his hands up in mock surrender, muttering curses in his own language as he returned to his artwork.

(y/n) glanced at her doofus, feeling all gooey inside at how he stood up for her, even if Schwoz was right. It was hypocritical, given how they both refused to budge, but their argument was different. Or at least, she thought it was different.

"We're married, Schwoz. We're allowed to argue," she told him, trying to make it make sense in that logical little brain of hers.

"That's all you seem to do lately..." Chapa mumbled, reminding everyone of her presence since she was almost invisible as she worked away. Her words made the couple look at each other, staring into each other's eyes as it sunk in, knowing she was right.

It had been nearly a week, and they still bickered every night. Neither knew who looked away first, with (y/n) grabbing her funnel and a box of washing powder before she grew teary and Ray clearing his throat of any sentimental lumps.

The tube alarm sounded, breaking the awkward silence that clung to them lately, although the hero resolved himself to try apologising again later. He'd try it a hundred times if he had to because they were married, like his sweet girl said. Even in his dark, depressing loneliness, that had to count for something.

"Hey, Bosey!" He exclaimed upon seeing the boy, a plastered-on grin spreading across his rosy cheeks.

Strangely, the kid didn't look at him – or anyone for that matter. He made a beeline for the other side of the room, hoping no one would notice him on his very secret mission. Top secret. No one could know where he'd been after disappearing the night before, and he stiffened when he heard his name.

"Where have you been, Bose?" (y/n) asked kindly, glancing up from her and Chapa's workstation. "We were worried sick about you when you ran off last night!"

He hesitated for a moment, staring at the ground as all three of his braincells tried to think of a coherent lie. Unfortunately, quick thinking wasn't his strong point. Or thinking in general.

"Tell me!" Ray snapped, shaking him by the shoulders when the kid took a second too long to explain himself.

"You're gonna shake him to sleep again!" Chapa said warningly as she held a large jug of soapy something-or-other. She didn't understand the chemical side of it; she just poured whenever (y/n) told her to.

That made Ray pause—just in time. Bose nearly nodded off in his arms as the shaking lulled him to sleep, and the hero steadied him as he brushed the hair out of his sleepy eyes. "Oh, sorry... Where'd you go?"

"I..." Bose replied, rubbing his temple to warm up his brain, but he'd never been a good liar. "...went to the lying store?"

Lying store? (y/n) pulled a confused face at that, listening to them in the background as she sifted some high-concentrate soap granules into liquid soap – for extra soapiness.

"Oh, you mean, like, a mattress store?" Asked Ray as he tried to decipher the boy's words, keenly aware of his mental faculties, or lack thereof. "Like a place that sells beds that you can lie down on?"

Bose grinned and nodded, silently breathing a sigh of relief because he'd never have thought of that. Ray had unwittingly given him an excuse, and he didn't waste it. "Yeah! That's exactly where I was!"

More relief came when Ray didn't question him, not seeing through the cheery smile he wore to hide his secrets. He accepted the excuse readily, patting the kid's shoulder when he glanced past the hero, past (y/n), and stared at Chapa – almost like her simply standing there confused him.

"Bose?" She frowned, a chill running down her spine when she felt his hard stare. "Why are you staring at me? Hello, Bose!"

"Is he okay?" (y/n) asked quietly, waving at the boy, but he didn't react. His eyes glazed over, never moving from Chapa as the girl's gaze darted the woman, knowing as little as she did.

"No idea..."

Ray didn't wait to find out what was going on with him. He yelled in his face, snapping his fingers, and the boy snapped out of whatever trance he was in. "BOSE!"

"Yes, sir?" He smiled sweetly, blinking as if nothing had happened at all.

It was weird; he could swear his brain cells – all three of them – were trying to tell him something, and for a moment there, he swore Chapa was wearing a massive box of... Never mind. He probably needed more sleep; the Prank War was taking it out of him, but with Ray on his back, chance would be a fine thing.

"Suit up! I'm gonna find Miles, and then, we're gonna sneak Big Sudsy into Rivalton," said the man with a devious smirk, knowing the moment of their revenge was close at hand. "Then, it's boom goes the grease! And I'll be, like, peace, grease!"

(y/n) watched her adorable idiot with a slight shake of her head as he clambered over the couch. With his vast bulk, he basked in his imagined glory, perching a leg on the back like a man who'd just conquered a mountain, hands on his hips in a display of masculine triumph. Or, at least, Ray thought it was that victorious in his head.

"Shoes on the couch, doofus?" She asked with a raised eyebrow, not even thinking about wear his combat boots had been.

"A small detail, sweet girl," he replied, too swept up in his wild imagination to dwell on how his chest fluttered, but he jumped off as she suggested. She was saying his name again – the silly one he liked best of all. "Everyone in Rivalton will be, like, ohhhh, we're so sad! But that was actually a really smart idea—you're so handsome! And I'll be, like, yeah, I know!"

(y/n) couldn't help but giggle, swiftly smothering the cutesy sound, but the hero heard it. For such a bad listener, he could hear a pin drop, especially if she was the dropper, twirling on his heel to see her beautiful smile – just for a moment.

"They're really gonna say all that?" She asked, putting on a calm façade that opposed his puppy-like excitement.

"'Course they are, darlin'!" Ray exclaimed as he forgot all the arguments and harsh words for a moment, simply basking in her happiness and the momentary peace it brought.

"I'll be, like, thanks, but you're all still the worst! And they'll be, like, I know! We're all gonna move away and never come back ever again! And they move out—we rename the whole place Man City, and we eat for free every time I'm there!"

"Yeah, solid plan, sir," said Bose, who'd stopped listening about three seconds into the speech, but he hyped him up, anyway.

He saw how (y/n/n) had lowered her defences, looking their way more than she had done in days, and the kid didn't know why. He didn't know much of anything, but if he could nudge them in the direction of apologising, he'd do it. Even if that meant keeping secrets.

"'Course it is!" Ray answered, feeling antsier than ever to end Rivalton and the Prank War as he pictured his new kingdom. He could see it now; he would treat his precious wife to a meal there, and they'd apologise and be blissfully in love once more. There was only one thing standing in the way of that.

"Schwoz! I don't know how else to say this, but I need Big Sudsy to be more sudsy!"

"Ray, you talk way too much!" The genius argued as the interruption stopped his work again. He sighed and glared at the man, who, without his sweet girl to keep him entertained, was as big of a nuisance as ever.

"Just gimme the thing! I'll do it myself! Give it to me! Drop it! Drop it! Don't you growl at me!"

(y/n) put down her vial of soap solution, sighing at the frankly embarrassing sight of two grown men brawling on the floor. The nuke would never be finished at this rate; Ray yanked the palette in Schwoz's hand, but the latter refused to let go, bearing his teeth and snarling at the idiot who disrupted his artwork.

"He's not a dog, Raymond. Just let him finish the stupid painting!" She said to her husband, but he was too stubborn for that.

"Not now, sweet girl!"

"Oh, I give up! What do you say, Chapa?" She threw her hands in the air, ignoring the fracas across the room as she turned to her assistant. They might as well finish the soap solution for Sudsy's completion – whether by Ray or Schwoz – yet when she looked at the girl, she too was distracted.

"Chapa?"

"He's doing it again..." she replied with a hiss, and (y/n) followed her stern gaze. Oh, she saw what she meant.

Ignoring the fight, Bose stared at Chapa with that adorable head tilt of his, and the girls practically saw the cogs turning in his empty mind. Whatever he was thinking, they couldn't work it out, not when he stood there like a lemon, looking so vacant.

"You look like you want to tell me something," said the girl, wondering if she had something on her face or in her hair—anything to explain why he was behaving so weirdly.

"Ummmm..." He scratched his head – whether that was to warm up his brain or ponder his answer, they didn't know. They never got one, not when Miles abruptly teleported into The Nest, stumbling around like he was drunk and looking like a Blues Brothers wannabe.

Waving his arms around, he clawed at the air after taking a few steps, peering at the world through impossibly dark glasses. "Am I in the Man's Nest? Smells like I'm in the Man's Nest!"

"Smells?" (y/n) chuckled as she left the workstation behind, but she didn't understand why Miles was so weird.

Little did she know since she'd long grown accustomed to her home's natural scent, but the boy knew it anywhere. Her perfume and Ray's cologne mixed with engine oil from Schwoz's inventions and the vapours of her favourite cleaning products to create a uniqueness that he never smelled anywhere else.

"All right, finally! Miles is back!" Ray exclaimed and clapped his hands, ecstatic to make some progress as he approached the boy. And peculiarly, he didn't react to his boss at all—almost like he couldn't see."We can roll on this Rivalton prank!"

"Yeah, f'sure—f'sure, but real quick, though..." The kid nodded and pursed his lips, not knowing how to explain himself, but there'd been a development. A Mika-prank-related incident of all things. "Is something wrong with my eyes?"

As if he didn't know – Miles just liked torturing everyone. He chose the dark shades especially, not wanting his mom to know what had gone down between him and his sister, but their encounter was brutal. Mika knew all too well his spicy pudding prankery, turning his plan against him in what he deemed chemical warfare.

His friends' reactions were instantaneous, making them double over and dry heave when he removed the glasses. Thanks to the pudding, his eyes were puffy and swollen shut, dappled with light pink hives and blisters that looked as disgusting as they were painful. And they were excruciating.

"Oh my God! Miles!" (y/n) gasped as her tummy quivered and churned, yet she refused to leave him there. She rushed over to examine him more closely, ignoring how Ray dove to keep her away from the leper.

"Sweet girl, no!" The man exclaimed, hooking a beefy arm around her waist to spare her from whatever monster or illness did that to the poor kid. Of course, he'd still love her if she were all swollen and hideous, but he'd rather it not happen. She was too precious for that.

"Stay back! He might be contagious!"

"Don't be ridiculous, you doofus! I can't get sick—we can't get sick!" She pushed him away gently, batting away his hands as they squeezed her waist – possibly a little more than necessary, but Ray enjoyed how she felt in his arms again.

But it was over too soon as she pulled away, trusting her super-regeneration to protect her against whatever caused that abomination. "Miles? What happened?"

"(y/n/n)..." Miles sniffed, blindly reaching for her hand as all he could see was darkness. "I think I'm allergic to spicy pudding."

"Oh, my poor baby..." The heroine muttered, pulling him into a comforting hug and wishing she could help him more. Save for some allergy pills or calamine lotion, he could only wait for the swelling to go down, which made Chapa giggle.

"Did you actually try to prank your sister?" She asked, seeing the accident as his own doing after hearing of his plans to avenge Bose. They hadn't really worked.

Admittedly, Miles felt stupid and regretted thinking he could ever defeat the Prank Queen in her domain. He pulled away from his friend's snuggly embrace and poked his puffy cheeks, wincing at how tender they were. "Yes, I did, and I'll say it...I'm ashamed."

"Maybe put these back on, my friend..." Schwoz said softly, reaching past (y/n) to guide the glasses back to the boy's face. If he had to look at his unsightly eyes any longer, he'd puke.

But Miles shook him away, smirking despite his face's tightness because he had one person to blame. The one who still retched over the couch table. "Oh, no, no, no... I think Ray should take a closer look!"

"No, no, no! Do not come near me, Miles!" The hero warned as he scrambled away from the couch, avoiding looking at the boy entirely.

"No, no, I'm serious!" The kid grinned, chasing after his teacher as (y/n) and Schwoz giggled, knowing how easy it was to tease Captain Man. "Can you tell me if my eyes are watering?"

Ray leaned as far back as he could as Miles leaned in, shoving his disgusting, itchy, blistered face into his, making the man gulp. He felt the bile rise in his throat as he stared at the grievous injury before glancing at his friends to help, with desperation rife in his eyes.

"Schwoz! Sweet girl! Help me!"

"It's just an allergic reaction, doof," (y/n) told him with a poorly hidden grin. She didn't have the heart to let him suffer for long, wondering how she could ever stay mad at him when he was such an idiot, but maybe that was the reason. "You'll be fine!"

As she and Schwoz let the hero get a taste of his own medicine, Chapa and Bose stared each other down, too caught up in one another to notice the commotion.

The girl didn't get it, frowning as he peered at her like a zoo animal. Did he have something to say? Bose would work it out eventually, vaguely remembering that he needed to tell her something crucial and secretive.

Something about baking soda. Something about Rivalton. Something about Mika...

"Ugh, why'd we even have to come here?"

(y/n) shuddered as she crept through the Rivalton wilderness in the dead of night. Something about the mission made her tummy tingle, sending alarm bells ringing in her head from the minute Miles teleported them out of town, making her want to go home and hide.

She had to be brave – she knew that. And there was safety in numbers as she found herself sandwiched between her beloved doofus and Chapa, sneaking through the undergrowth, but even in a task force of superheroes, she felt jumpy. Anxious. Like there was an ambush waiting to happen.

Being in the godforsaken town felt perilous, so Ray went first, guiding his team through the night as they approached their target. He was a human shield, ready to punch whoever might come at him – or grumble until they surrendered.

"Stop whining, doofus," she told him, tiptoeing on his heels as they skirted around some abandoned grease stations. Their smell was horrific, pungent and overpowering, like the close Nacho Ball, and they had to be careful not to slip on the leaking grime.

"That wasn't a whine," answered Ray, who glanced over his shoulder with a pedantic smile. "It was more of a complaint."

(y/n) simply rolled her eyes, too nervous to argue back coherently. She whacked him on his shoulder blade, pushing him further forward as she hissed... "Whatever, just be quiet!"

"What's got you all touchy?" Chapa asked, raising a bemused eyebrow when she heard the heroine whisper so harshly – and it wasn't like her to lose her cool.

She, too, had to be careful; on one hand, she guided Miles through the path, pulling him along like a mule since his spicy pudding swelling hadn't gone down. They needed him and his superpower, but visually, he was a liability. On the other hand, she minded Bose – the one with the most responsibility of all, which was terrifying.

The woman gave her a small, apologetic smile, twiddling her thumbs as they walked. Usually, she'd have Ray's hand to squeeze, using him to ground her when things got stressy, but things were awkward. Or at least, she thought they were, like an unspoken something between them. "I normally get touchy when I'm in a town that hates me."

"Oh, please, it's perfectly safe," the girl retorted, scoffing at her dramatics. She waltzed through the outskirts like she owned them.

Miles agreed although he nodded in the wrong direction. All he saw were blobby figures and spots of light, and that was only if he prised his eyelids open. "Yeah, and besides, we're only just past the border."

"Past the border in a town where the people would happily tear us limb from limb and dance on our graves."

"You're with Captain Man, sweet girl," Ray said confidently, holding his head high as their leader. He felt her warm hand on his back, heat burning through his super-suit to make him feel invincible, judging by the smirk he wore on his stupidly handsome face. "I'd like to see them try..."

His reassurance relaxed his wife a little, her body visibly sagging as she breathed a small sigh. She followed his footprints, never wanting to be too far away from him, and Chapa only shook her head at the sight, thinking they looked like two lovesick idiots tripping over each other. And they were – even in their weird pseudo-argument, they gravitated together.

"What are we even doing here, anyway?" Bose asked, feeling like he might pass out as he concentrated harder than he'd ever concentrated before.

Ray lamented that the kid was the one to carry their soap-filled nuke, but even the great Captain Man wasn't strong enough to carry that thing for long. With his telekinesis, the boy was the only one who could float Sudsy through the desert – very, very carefully.

"We're taking Big Sudsy to where the grease is," (y/n) replied, her voice hushed and soothing to not disturb his thinking. And thinking wasn't his strong point.

"Exactly!" Her husband grinned at her as she brushed past, wondering how one person could look so pretty in the moonlight.

She so distracted him that he never heard the approaching voices – probably because he never stopped talking over them. Between overseeing Bose and sneaking longing glances at his wife, the hero didn't watch where he was going around the next corner... "Now, no one talk to BrainStorm!"

"Why can't we talk to BrainStorm?" Asked Chapa as she dragged Miles along, unbothered if he accidentally walked into a cactus or stubbed his toe.

"'Cause he gets distracted and drops Big Sudsy on my foot!" He replied, gaze trained on the hovering nuke. He wouldn't remind them of the incident just before they left – it took a whole minute longer than usual to stop his tootsie from throbbing.

Bose frowned at that, hating how his boss had so little faith in him – for good reason. "No, I do not—"

There was a momentary break in his concentration to argue back, and the kid dropped it right onto Ray's foot. Big Sudsy landed with a metallic thud; with anyone else, it would've crushed every bone it touched. The doofus was lucky he was Captain Man as tears sprang in his eyes and girlish whimpers fell from his lips.

"Ahhhh, get it off! Get it off! Get it off!"

"Oh, doofus!" (y/n) gasped, suddenly by his side. Given its vast density, neither had the strength to lift the nuke, but that didn't mean she didn't try.

Her fingers curled around his, pulling, yanking, straining to move the damn thing. It was futile, and she pouted at the agonised expression on his face. Still, she wondered – how could one person look so handsome in the moonlight?

"Captain Man?! Miss Danger?!" An adenoidal voice gasped as its owner stepped out of the shadows, and the couple looked up with grimaces. They knew that shrill tone anywhere.

With his bald head gleaming and his clothes as bedazzled as ever, it could only be one person, and Ray felt like spitting to remove the disgusting taste in his mouth. Archduke Fernando.

"What are you doing here?! What are they doing here?!" He turned to his subordinates, whom (y/n) recognised from the Hee Haw Purée pranks, but the third...

"It's part of my prank..." said Mika Macklin, of all people, as she stepped forward, smiling assuringly at his dukiness.

Suddenly, Ray barely felt the searing pain in his foot, rising to his full height as he pushed his precious wife behind his back, snarling at the traitorous girl. "You!"

"Mi—Um, ShoutOut!" (y/n) breathed out, feeling conflicted to see the girl with the Rivaltons, but she made a sight for sore eyes. She didn't look hurt or tired or starving – just as lovely as she always did, and the heroine was relieved to see that she was all right.

"Hi!" Mika waved at her friend, but neither the Archduke nor Captain Man were they for such pleasantries.

"Prank them!"

"Somebody prank him!" The men shouted together, pointing for their teams to charge. Yet, no one moved a muscle. They could shout all they wanted, but it was difficult to make out the orders in the cacophony, so the Rivaltons and Danger Force just dithered.

"I don't think so, boys!" Mika yelled over them, walking between the feuding groups. "A lot of people been pranking each other over these last few days. Where's it gotten us? Nowhere fast."

Miles huffed at that, hands on his hips as he scowled at his treacherous sister in the wrong direction. "It got my face all swollen by a pudding tube!"

"I took a springy snake to the eye!" Bose added angrily as Chapa helped her friend face the group. Although, looking at his face, they wished he turned away.

"There's a bomb on my foot—and I've not stopped arguing with my wife!" Captain Man hissed, still straining to pull his foot free, but he glanced at his wife with a melancholy pout.

"Doofus..."

She hadn't strayed from his side, hoping to roll Big Sudsy away, but (y/n) paused and stared at him, shy at how close they were. Her hand found his, giving it a gentle squeeze, and suddenly, the bomb didn't hurt so much, nor did they feel so distant.

"I ended up with box seats to Drake, so..." Chapa just shrugged, her arms folded since not much had changed for her. Yet, she was happy to see the affection in the corner of her eye, even if it made her want to gag. "God's Plan."

Moving on, Mika stepped forward again, looking between her friends – in both groups. "Has it been fun? Yes. Have we made new friends? I feel Maddie and I are gonna stay friends after the war is over."

"So glad you said that!"

The girls smiled at each other, having had endless girly conversations between pranks and Fernando's ridiculous orders. For all her bladder issues, Maddie was easy to be around and incredibly sweet, but Mika wasn't there to be nice.

"But it's time to end this prank war once and for all!"

"Yes!" Archduke Fernando exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at the heroes as he stroked his pony – his beloved Gideon. "Make them surrender since they started it!"

But the girl just looked at him pointedly, and only then (y/n) the pale, yellow file in her hand. She wondered what it was, getting a sense of déjà vu since it looked identical to the one used by Ray in his banishment. "Did they?"

"Yes! Swellview pranked me over and over again when I tried to give a speech!" Fernando argued, batting his eyelashes innocently, but the cunning girl shook her head.

"Mmmmm, no, they didn't," she said, smirking, running a fingertip along her file. "And I've got the proof right...here!"

"She''s lying! That envelope is empty!" Ray argued, waggling his finger at the girl when he saw the identical paper, complete with confidential printed across the front. "I know this trick! Don't say anything."

"Actually, I did my homework this time," answered ShoutOut, pulling the documents from the envelope, and unlike the adorkable hero, hers wasn't some lowdown, sneaky trick.

"It was the Archduke! He pranked himself!" She announced over the teasing taunts of her friends. Maybe she was a nerd for doing her homework, but the revelation soon silenced them, all eyes falling on the nervous nobleman as he faked ignorance.

Gasps came from both sides, with Danger Force and the Rivaltons glaring at Fernando contemptuously as his gaze darted from them to the floor. His cheeks burned at the shame, yet he didn't admit to anything. He showed his guilt, making a break for it before they could take him down.

"NOPE!" But Mika didn't let him run far; with a small shout, she sent him flying, tripping over and face-planting the dirt. It had to hurt, but the Archduke was more concerned with his ponytail, which he felt tear from his head when he hit the ground.

"Gideon!"

"He set us up..." (y/n) murmured, folding her arms and glaring at the disgraceful man as Bose ran to snatch up the silk-like hair. She turned to her doofus, who wore a similarly stunned expression, still mixed with agony. "He caused all this chaos!"

"Well, why would he prank himself?" Asked Ray, clutching her arm for support when the pain overcame him again. "That doesn't make any sen—would someone please get this bomb off my foot?!"

No one listened as Bose returned to their side, cradling Gideon and marvelling at his softness, so he was too busy to lift the nuke with his powers. Meanwhile, Maddie and Clarence helped their Archduke to his feet despite how he'd betrayed their trust.

"Archduke Fernando owns the biggest chain of prank supply stores in the Quint Cities," Mika explained, giving the man her stinkiest stink eye after inadvertently setting off that damn song again.

"Rivalton and Bordertown—"

"No singing!" Miss Danger yelled, feeling like she'd scream louder than ShoutOut if she had to hear it one more time. She received a grateful glance from the young girl whilst Chapa adjusted Mile's direction. Again.

"The prank war between Swellview and Rivalton has been cooling off for years," she explained once everyone had calmed down, "and since no one was pranking, no one was buying prank supplies from Sassy G's Prank supplies, which he owns."

"Wait..." (y/n) said, a disgusted sneer passing over her pretty features when she considered Sassy...G. "Did he name the stores after his ponytail?"

Her revelation made BrainStorm gasp, pointing at the shining hair in his hand, which he may or may not have been nuzzling when no one was paying attention. "So, Gideon is Sassy G?!"

"Exactly."

"You are sassy..." The boy muttered to the ponytail, petting it and running his gloved fingers through the strands.

"Since no one was buying prank supplies, he was losing money. Fast."

"So, he pranked himself in public and made it look like it was Swellview's fault!" Miles exclaimed angrily, jabbing his finger in the Archduke's direction—or as close as he could get with his puffy face. Luckily, Chapa adjusted his position, pulling him toward the group and not some random shrub. "Thank you!"

Crouching beside his pretty girl and Sudsy, Ray Sudsy had an epiphany. He gasped and looked at (y/n) with wide eyes. He looked so goofy yet adorable, dimly understanding what the traitor Mika was saying. "Suddenly, the prank war breaks out again..."

"And everyone has to buy prank supplies from Sassy G's Prank Supplies!" The heroine finished, too busy giving their enemy a deathly stare to notice how her shoulder brushed Ray's as they leaned closer together.

"I did it for Gideon!" Said the spluttering Fernando, red-faced now he'd been caught. "He has expensive tastes! He was going to leave me!"

His phoney, deluded explanation made the couple glance at each other, frowning and then giggling at how ridiculous it was.

As they got lost in one another's dreamy eyes, Mika raised the paper she'd pulled from the envelope, holding it before the Archduke's face so he could read the fancy scrawl. "This is a peace treaty that will end the prank war between Swellview and Rivalton forever. You're gonna sign it."

"No!" He refused, skimming over the treaty's conditions and shaking his head.

Yet, his subordinates fought back, glaring at him from their side of the dusty clearing, and Maddie, in particular, looked...uncomfortable. "Just sign it! I gotta go!"

"I will do no such thing!"

"Oh, I think you will..." Mika smirked at him, unfazed by his steadfast refusal. She turned to her friends, all standing in a row as Ray tried to shift the bomb in vain. "Assuming someone trusted me enough to pass on my message..."

(y/n) looked at the kids in confusion, seeing how Mika looked to her right – straight at Chapa and Bose. Then, to her further surprise, the boy and girl glanced at each other, smiling deviously and nodding. Did she miss something?

"Baking soda!"

"Yes, thank you!" Mika cheered, jumping for joy when Chapa said that. The heroine had no idea what they were talking about, and judging by her doofus' grumpy frown, he didn't, either.

"Er, what's going on with you two?" Miss Danger asked, looking between the girls suspiciously. "I feel like you've been sneaky..."

"I'll tell you, M-D..." answered Chapa, rubbing her hands together. She was particularly proud of how they'd managed to pull off their top-secret mission, given how Bose played a vital role – all under their teachers' noses.

She could see it now, remembering how she'd slipped from the Man's Nest after the arguing couple stormed off to different ends of the hideout. Schwoz said she could go, so she did – straight to the Macklin house in downtown Swellview.

"Things were a little frosty at first, but I had a plan to end this war forever and get ShoutOut back in Danger Force," said Chapa, which only made Ray glower more.

He hated how they went behind his back, but when he went to complain, (y/n) smushed her finger against his lips, too invested to feel how he quivered at the feeling of her skin on his lips.

"All she had to do were two things. Be a double agent to make everyone in Rivalton think she was on their side."

"Wait, but how did you convince the Rivaltons you were genuine?" Asked (y/n) as she looked at Mika, feeling strangely proud of her for crawling into enemy territory with no backup. "No offence, but you're not the type to convincingly change sides like that."

But Chapa just smirked, gesturing to the chocolatey brown ponytail held in Bose's arms. "We returned a hostage."

"So, that's how Gideon got back to them!" Ray gasped, thumping his fist against the side of Big Sudsy – the bomb – which probably wasn't a good idea. "What was the second thing she had to do?"

"To not tell anyone anything about this plan until the whole thing is over."

"Did you use the Girl Code?" (y/n) asked, a sneaking suspicion in her tummy as the girls smiled at each other. Mika couldn't break that sacred code, not even if the ever-lingering snitch inside her desperately wanted to scream it from the rooftops.

They nodded, and Fernando glared at ShoutOut with fire in his eyes. Not that she cared. If anything, he was the one who needed to be afraid. "We did."

"You betrayed Rivalton?!" He seethed, gritting his teeth at the sidekick's double bluff—and how spectacularly he fell for it.

"I'm about to!" She replied with a slight shrug before grinning at Volt. "Light it up!"

Without another word, scarlet lightning flew from Chapa's hands, making Clarence and Maddie dive out of the way as it hurtled across the desert. The sparks hit the grease residue pouring from the old, rusting grease tanks, creating a trail of flames that licked their way towards Rivalton's greasy liquid gold.

"No, no, no! Our precious grease!" Archduke Fernando cried, watching the fatty oil superheat, burning like a miracle from God until it reached the main pipeline.

In a fiery, fatty explosion, the flames blew the tank's lid off, creating an open grease fire that would not be easy to put out. Ray instinctively yanked his wife into his chest, shielding her pretty face from the scorching splatters that might sting her skin, although (y/n) gasped more at the feeling of his arms around her than anything else.

"Our grease! Our grease!" Said Fernando, waving his hands like a panicked lunatic as his town's profits turned to smoke. "Our grease is on fire!"

"Ooh, I can put it out!" Maddie exclaimed, desperate to relieve her aching bladder. But before she could hop toward the blaze, ready to unbutton her jeans, Miss Danger dashed from her husband's arms and grabbed her arm, pulling her back.

"Don't! You'll make it worse!" (y/n) told the girl, picturing the raging fireball that would ignite if she...peed on the fire. "That won't stop a grease fire."

Her words made Mika grin. "But you know what will? A nuclear device filled with baking soda."

"Wait, what?" The heroine frowned again, turning to Big Sudsy in confusion as Bose played his part, pressing two fingers against his temples. To Ray's immense relief, the nuke finally rose off his foot, allowing his indestructibility to soothe the pain.

"Ohhhh, thank you..." He sighed, hastily moving away from the bomb – toward his sweet girl - as BrainStorm floated it over their heads. He manoeuvred it toward the grease fire, but it didn't drop immediately; instead, the kid waited for Mika's word, just like they'd planned.

"Hey, when did you fill that thing full of baking soda?" Asked Ray, his hand finding the small of his wife's back as he ushered her to a safe distance. Neither of them realised it now, standing too close for anyone but lovers.

(y/n) nodded, leaning back into her doofus as she looked at Chapa. Why was she smirking at them like that?"Yeah, I watched you pour the soap into it. When did you—?"

"When you walked off during his wig fitting," the girl replied dryly, and suddenly, Captain Man had a terrible, awkward cough.

"Wh—what wig fitting?" He asked unconvincingly, touching his temples to check that his very real hair was still there. (y/n) giggled, staring dreamily at his new wig, which would do until his missing clumps grew back, and she wasn't complaining. He looked...perfect.

Ignoring the doofus, Mika turned to Archduke Fernando, the treaty still in her hand as he freaked at the ongoing blaze. "You wanna put out that fire and save your grease? Sign this treaty!"

She offered him the document, and the noble snatched it from her hand. He sneered at all the filthy Swellviewians, hating their guts, no matter how much he loved the grease. "And end the prank war?! Never!"

"Fine!" The girl just shrugged, content to let the fire rage. "Then, your grease burns up, and your city goes broke."

"And I eat for free every time I'm there!"

"That's right!" She high-fived the adorable idiot, grinning with him just to annoy the Archduke more. He didn't understand what that meant, but his fellow Rivaltons wouldn't let him stand by and do nothing, snapping at him to act.

"Just sign it! I need that grease money for college and a bladder enlargement!" Hissed Maddie, but when that didn't work, Clarence got radical.

Storming past Captain Man, Miss Danger, and Danger Force, he snatched Gideon from the sand where Bose dropped him, shaking him – it? – angrily in front of the Archduke. "Sign it, or I will throw your ponytail into the fire!"

"Gideon!" Fernando yelled, looking at his beloved hair in anguish. When the man threatened to do just that, raising Giddy above his head, his leader had no choice but to surrender.

"Fine! I'll sign it!"

"Yes!" Miles exclaimed although he couldn't exactly see the victorious moment. With another adjustment, he smiled his swollen smile and clapped his hands. "That's my sister!"

Archduke Fernando ignored the chatter, scribbling his name down on the dotted line in elaborate cursive. ShoutOut pulled the paper from him the minute it was legible, carefully filing it in her protective envelope. "Okay, okay! Put it out! Put it out! Put it out!"

"Yeah, hang on..." Ray said, stroking his chin as Big Soda-filled Sudsy dangled. "Just gotta think of a good zinger..."

"Oh, you big doofus!" (y/n) shook her head, but her smile was anything but spiteful. She took the remote from her, lifting it to her lips like a microphone before pressing the detonating button.

"Baking news! This war is over!"

"Niiiiice, sweet gi—" The hero never got to finish his sentence, grinning down at his beloved wife as she squeezed the button, and the bomb exploded in a cloud of pristine, white powder.

It settled everywhere, smothering the flames of the grease fire, coating their uniforms, and making them choke. But weirdly, it looked quite pretty, almost like it had snowed in the desert for the first time in Swellview-Rivalton history.

Yet, the most important thing on everyone's minds when they opened their eyes, coughing and spluttering from the baking soda in the air, was that the war was over. They had peace at last. No more things to worry about. No more problems to solve.

"Our grease!" Archduke Fernando yelled, falling to his knees in the ashy sand as he raised his hands to the heavens upon seeing the extinguished tank. "Our grease is saved!"

"Yeah, you're welcome," muttered Chapa, but not before Mika nudged her. "Oh..."

They and the boys glanced across to see their teachers standing side by side and staring at the sky. Flakes of soda tickled their noses as they brushed down their uniforms, never uttering a word, but Ray bit back a grin when his wife brushed down his tunic, muttering something about how he'd never get it all off himself.

Maybe they had one more problem. Just a little one.

"Hey!" Mika shouted to the couple, making Ray and (y/n) turn to her with curious faces. "Lovebirds!"

Ray cleared his throat, rolling his eyes, acting like he hadn't been revelling in his wife's attention as she abruptly pulled away. He gave the kids a grumpy look, hating how they teased them in the most romantic interaction he'd had in days. "What?"

"We didn't just do this to end the prank war," said the girl, standing shoulder to shoulder with her brother and friends.

In the background, they heard the Archduke fighting with his underlings, barking orders about cleaning up the grease and dusting off Gideon, but they didn't even glance at them. They focused on the grown-ups, who, despite being grown-up, were acting instead childishly, folding their arms and pouting.

"Well, we mostly did," muttered Chapa – as cold and heartless as ever. But she could make an exception for those lovesick idiots.

"Whatever," answered Mika, batting away her interruption with a flick of her hand. "There's something else that needs to end before we leave."

Looking at each other, Ray and (y/n) sighed tiredly, feeling strangely itchy from the powder that settled on their skin. They all needed showers, and the hero scrunched his nose at how they expected him to wait for them to speak. As if it was a democracy and not a dictatorship.

"Spit it out, children." It earned him a nudge in the ribs from his wife, but the man was unapologetic, shifting from one foot to the other in annoyance until Chapa interjected.

"We hate it when you argue," she said in a remarkably soft voice for one so perpetually angry. "It annoys Schwoz, gives me and AWOL a headache, and makes ShoutOut and BrainStorm sad."

"Yeah, we want you two to make up," Bose added, wringing his hands together since he hated the confrontation of it all.

He grimaced when their faces fell, turning to each other with a mix of sadness and surprise on their faces because the last thing they expected was an intervention. Hell, they thought things would just ease out naturally, only to be still arguing days later.

"And I'm not teleporting you guys home until you do," Miles said sternly, shaking his fist in a direction way past Ray's head, but it got the point across.

(y/n)'s expression softened when she met her husband's gaze, feeling like she could cry when his fingers tenderly brushed hers. Mika was back; she had no reason to be angry, but deep down, she knew she'd stopped being bitter days before, waiting on a never-coming signal to apologise.

"This feels like a coup," she said with a chuckle, dusting a sprinkling of baking soda from her skirt when Ray laughed too.

"First, ShoutOut and now the rest of you..." He elbowed her lightly, daring to be jokey after days of silent treatment and bickering. "Ganging up on us."

"Will you apologise or not?" Asked Mika, her serious and stern voice cutting through them as no one wanted to drag on whatever weirdness existed between the couple. It natural, and no matter how much Chapa gagged at their very public affection, it didn't feel like the Man's Nest without it.

They couldn't go home, knowing things weren't right.

Ray moved first, twisting his body to face his beloved wife, although he stood awkwardly. He offered her a soft smile, blinking with soda-heavy eyelashes as she twiddled her thumbs. "What do you think, sweet girl?"

"I think—" (y/n) swallowed thickly, fighting back tears as she reached for his hand, threading their fingers together. "—you can come back to bed tonight. I'm sorry, doofus."

"No, I'm sorry," he replied instantly, curling one arm around her body and pulling her close. His watery eyes squeezed shut momentarily, steeling himself as his nose nuzzled her powdered hair. "You're the smart one. I should listen to you."

"No, I should listen to you more," the heroine argued as she sniffed and buried her face into his chest. "You're right. You're not as stupid as some people think, and sometimes, I care too much."

"No, you don't." His voice was stern with an edge of finality as his hands came to cup her cheeks, forcing his precious girl to look into his eyes. He didn't care if she saw his tears, feeling how her arms slid around his neck, hugging him so tightly it felt like a belt had tightened around his ribs.

"Don't you dare stop being so sweet and caring. It's what made me fall in love with you in the first place."

"No—"

Chapa yelled suddenly, hands gripping her hair when the woman went to disagree for another damn time. "Oh, my God! You're doing it again!"

They looked at her in shock, still twisted in each other's arms as Ray's gloved hand tenderly stroked his girl's back. He gently knocked his forehead against hers, too soft and emotional in the moment to snap back.

"We get it! You're sorry, you're in love, stop with the arguing! Are you good, or what?"

"Yeah..." They said in synch, giggling as everything fell back into place in time with their lips meeting.

It was a brief, sweet peck, enough to make Miles and Chapa roll their eyes, but they'd let them have it. No one had it in them to groan or gag when (y/n) smooched her doofus' cheek, gazing up at him and feeling like her heart couldn't contain all the love it held for him.

"We're good."

~Later that night~

"You good, doof?"

Ray heard his wife call from the bedroom over the rustle of the towel on his head.

He finished drying his hair, letting it air dry most of the way before bed because he hated the intense heat of a dryer – Swellview Men's Magazine said it was the worst thing a slightly older gentleman could do. Ignoring the two bald spots above his ears, he ran his fingers through the surviving floof, grateful the baking soda flurry caused no lasting damage.

According to Bose, Gideon didn't fare so well, losing some of his illustrious sheen after the dusting, not that the hero cared. He reached for a tub of his ridiculously expensive moisturiser – one of five – and twisted off the cap, dotting little blobs of cool cream across his cheeks, nose, and forehead.

"Yeah, just moisturising after the second serum," he shouted back to his sweet girl as his fingers began to rub in the moisturiser. "I'll be out in a minute!"

Outside their en-suite, (y/n) pulled one of his T-shirts over her head, enjoying how loose and soft it felt against her skin. The scent of fabric softener and his cologne made her giddy, and she anticipated sleeping with her husband for the first time in days.

Freshly showered and scrubbed of soda, she felt more energetic than tired, eagerly awaiting her doofus as he clattered and pottered around the bathroom, doing his witch-like ritual for the evening. Prepping her hair for bed, she glanced at the door and saw his vast silhouette through the haze of the escaping steam.

"You know you don't need all that crap, right?" She told him, exasperated yet still smiling as she pictured his side of the sink.

Whilst she was fine with a cleanser, creams, and maybe a serum, he had dozens of bottles, tubes, and pots lined up in disorganised chaos – and that was only his morning routine.

"Hang on!" Ray yelled as he finished smearing the last product across his perfect skin. "What did you say, sweet girl?"

He appeared from the bathroom to the instant smile of his beloved wife. He was nearly naked, save for the underwear he'd pulled on after drying off, but with the shower making his complexion flush and his sculpted body glow, he looked like a god, wearing that silly, goofy grin under his untamed locks.

"I said, doofus, you don't need a million-step skincare routine," (y/n) said softly, unable to stop herself from going over and curling her arms around his neck.

He was hot to the touch, but she liked it. She enjoyed the perfumed smell of his aftershave, mingling with the berry body wash she had bought for them both, and how he held her waist with those enormous hands. "I like you just the way you are."

"I know..." He smiled and kissed her forehead, partly blushing from her unabashed affection, not just the hot shower. "Still, no harm in trying!"

She groaned at that, pushing her fists against his chest as he laughed loudly. An arm hooked around her waist, pulling her back to his chest when she tried to free, and his lips found her neck. Yet, instead of leaving sweet kisses there, he blew raspberries against her skin, earning joyous shrieks that were as much music to his ears as pleasured sighs.

"You're impossible, Raymond!" (y/n) giggled, wriggling in his hold as he chuckled into her hair.

"And yet, you married me," the hero whispered, coming to a standstill as his thumb rubbed up and down on her waist. She reached behind her head to find his soft hair – ignoring the patches – and ran her fingers through it, sighing contently

"I did," she replied, turning her head so their lips brushed, and Ray groaned. There were no kids around to poke fun at or fuzzy little weirdos to pass unhelpful comments, and he chased his honeyed kiss, thinking they had days of lost time to make up for.

Admittedly, he'd come out of the bathroom hoping – praying to God – she'd be naked and waiting. He'd crawl to the foot of the bed on his hands and knees like a penitent man before worshipping her – just for a taste. She still looked beautiful in his shirt, and if his wandering hands were correct, she was bare underneath, but he didn't dare shatter the peaceful atmosphere between them – the romance of it all.

So, he settled for the gentle kisses she allowed, swallowing whatever he could get and savouring it, even if it meant a silent whine sounded in his throat when she pulled away.

"Come on, doofus," his sweet girl whispered, retreating with an enamoured smile. "Let's get in bed."

Maybe that was code-talk. Ray didn't really know – he couldn't infer like that. But he took his chances, zipping around the room like a scalded rabbit in case it meant he could have her sooner.

Their phones were on charge. The bathroom light was turned off. He cancelled the alarm since they deserved to sleep in. There was nothing else left to do, but his wife lingered at her dresser, never noticing how he flopped onto the bed with a yearning sigh.

His gaze caught what she was doing, and to his shame, Ray rolled his eyes. "You could keep your rings on, you know..."

He watched as she pulled off her wedding ring and engagement ring – each one a stab to his heart, which hated seeing her finger naked. The only naked part of her he disliked, honestly.

"I never keep my rings on when I sleep, doof," (y/n) replied innocently, turning around to see his pout. She knew they'd had this conversation before, and it was always with the same logical answer.

"What happens if I scratch you or me in my sleep?"

"I'm Captain Man, darlin', and you're Miss Danger." He said it like it was obvious, gesturing to his long, tanned, indestructible body that stretched from the headboard to the foot of the bed. When he sat there smiling and batting his lashes like that, looking like a goddamn Adonis, it was hard to resist his charms.

"Come on, just for tonight... For me, your husband."

She sighed and gave in, slipping the rings back onto her left hand, which always felt emptier and unnatural during the night. "Okay, fine! Husband."

"Thank you, wifey." He clapped his hands in victory and gestured wildly for her to join him. As the heroine shook her head with a mirthful expression, he dove under the quilt and blanket, pulling it back for her to slip in, too.

With her wedding rings firmly on her finger – as per His Lordship's request - (y/n) snuggled down into the mattress, checking her phone one last time before getting comfy against the pillow. Across from her, with only a foot between them, Ray reached out to her, frowning when she didn't immediately cuddle him.

"Too far away, sweet girl."

"Okay, I'll scoot up a—Ray!" He didn't wait for her to move. Instead, he used his superhero strength with that beefy arm to yank her across the gap, pulling her closer and closer until their ribs were touching, her head rested on his sternum, and her leg hooked over his hips.

(y/n) blinked at the sudden proximity, having only needed a minute to move over, but she enjoyed the proximity and quickly adjusted. "Is this close enough?"

"Yeah..." Ray nodded, wrapping his arms around her and closing his eyes with a blissful expression as he finally felt it. This was what he'd wanted for too many nights. "Feels like ages since I slept with you in my arms. Missed it... Missed you."

"I missed you, too, doofus," she replied quietly, lifting her head to kiss his chest before nuzzling into it. "Actually, I think we should set up a rule."

The hero quirked an eyebrow at that, smirking to himself as the glimmer of hope flickered in his lower stomach. "A rule? Kinky."

"No, not like that." But his wife just scolded him, halfheartedly smacking his pec for being so smutty during their tender, cosy moment.

"Aw..." Ray grumbled, and she practically felt him deflate underneath her. "So, we're not gonna have sex?"

"Focus!" (y/n) said, propping herself up a little bit so she could look at him.

Changing to his serious self and putting on his listening ears, Ray relaxed against the pillows and waited, lazily opening his eyes. She brushed the floofy hair away from his forehead, causing goosebumps whenever her nails went.

"I think we should have a rule that says no sleeping in other beds. Even if we can't solve the argument straight away, we should still be together."

"I suppose that makes sense." He nodded, swirling his finger between her shoulder blades as he carefully and genuinely considered her proposal.

"I barely slept in the spare room, which is crazy considering how much money we spent renovating it in case someone wants to stay, like Henry or Jasper or Charlotte— "

"Exactly, doof," said the woman with a slight giggle, sensing they were straying off topic.

She rested against him once more, rubbing her nose against his throat as she closed her eyes. Everything felt so peaceful, and she shivered as he stroked her back, feeling his wedding ring bump against her skin. "Why make ourselves miserable just because we can't agree on one stupid thing?"

"Well, we survived our first married fight," Ray replied with a breathy laugh, feeling like a stone had been lifted from his chest now it was all over. His sweet girl was with him again, and he'd sleep easy tonight – and every other night after that.

"I think we'll be okay."

"Yeah..." (y/n) nodded as best she could with her head on him, hugging him a little tighter as she whispered... "I love you, doofus. So much..."

Above her, Ray grinned, his heart flying every time he heard those three magical words. "I love you, too, sweet girl."

He pressed a few kisses into her hair, chuckling into the darkness at the happiness radiating from his chest. Surely, he couldn't contain everything he felt for her. "I always have, and I know I always will."

A silence fell over them, with (y/n) closing her eyes to drift off into the best slumber she'd had all week. Everything felt warm and impossibly comfortable, but maybe that was because she finally got to be in her husband's embrace – where she belonged. She relaxed until jellylike, content to just exist like that - sleeping soundly with matching, golden rings. Just for a little while.

Ray would hold her all night – he had no intention of letting her go. He held her little body against his and closed his eyes, wondering if life could get any better. And honestly, he could think of a few ways it could.

"...Sweet girl?" He asked quietly, knowing he was shattering the tranquillity, but he was nothing if not daring.

"Yeah, doof?" He heard his sweet girl, muffled and quiet against his skin, but she was still awake. (y/n) felt his lips against her forehead twist upwards into what her tummy knew was a mischievous grin, followed by his excited whisper...

"Can we have sex now?"

The following day, having thoroughly apologised to each other – three times – Ray and (y/n) appeared in the Man’s Nest as the very picture of love.

Chapa nearly regretted pushing those lovebirds back together, wrinkling her nose and fake-gagging with Miles when they saw how the hero constantly had one hand on his wife—and he had no shame where that hand was. Still, she supposed it was better than the arguing, having grown used to their relentless affection, just like Henry said they would when they met him.

Everything felt like it had returned to normal as they gathered around the couch like old times. Even if they had to watch one of those old, crappy documentaries, it was worth it, sitting side by side as friends – and that included the uncasted-out Mika.

Chuckles echoed around the room as they watched the latest on the prank war, even though no one particularly liked the boring, old-fashioned videos. “Baking soda covered the land, and the people, and, sadly, Gideon…”

They watched as the old-timey photos of them faded in and out, showing the seemingly snowy desert and their ashy faces. Archduke Fernando looked particularly ridiculous, pouting as he combed the clumps from Gideon’s luscious locks.

“But the grease fire was out, and The Thousand Pranks War was over.”

“Didn’t this all just happen yesterday?” Asked Chapa after sipping her soda, frowning at the screen.

“Yeah, how do they update this documentary so quickly?” Miles nodded beside her, but he couldn’t ask (y/n) for her usual sound advice.

He glanced at her and Ray, who leaned against the couch with his sweet girl in his arms. They hadn’t come up for air in minutes, continuously smooching whilst the video played in the background, his hands still wandering. She appeared to enjoy herself, smiling and sighing contently in his strong arms, but they couldn’t help but be concerned. When would he let her breathe?

Angling himself away from them, Bose grinned, using his three brain cells to deduce the answer. “Elves.”

“Shhh!” Mika interrupted, silencing her friends when a certain someone – her – appeared squarely on-screen. “They’re talking about me!”

“Many people credit ShoutOut for ending the war…” She giggled at that, ecstatic that her name would go down in history as the documentary featured a picture of her beaming, powder-covered face. Only, it swiftly faded into another cheesy grin – a much prouder one.

“Others say it was Captain Man, who happens to be in the recording studio right now, threatening to prank me right in the face.”

“Doofus?” (y/n) certainly heard that. Her lips broke away from her husband’s, making him pout, but her puzzled frown made him suck it up. She turned to look at the monitor, rubbing her temple, and saw him holding the treaty like he had planned the whole thing. She didn’t even know when he snuck out to threaten the poor filmmakers.

“You threatened them? Just to be included in the documentary?”

“History’s written by the winners, darlin’…” The hero smirked and squeezed his arms around her body, utterly shameless in his impish actions.

Mika glared and huffed at him, folding her hands neatly on her lap so she didn’t accidentally punch him in the nose. “I’m the winners!”

“Not according to history.” Ray merely shrugged, a smile still playing on his lips as his embrace loosened. He pressed a final kiss to his beloved wife’s forehead before stepping away and turning off the documentary.

“But you know? This almost makes us even for when you pranked me by swapping out my hair butter for that super glue.”

“Are you still on that, doof?” (y/n) sighed, leaning against the couch and folding her arms.

Her husband just scoffed and nodded vigorously, pointing an accusatory finger at the girl. “Yes, sweet girl! Shepranked me!”

“That wasn’t me,” said Mika, her voice remarkably calm to say that Ray wouldn’t stop blaming her.

“Okay, it wasn’t you,” he replied in a silly voice, mocking her words because no one could tell him otherwise.

The kids agreed, protesting her innocence to the hero as he frowned and put his hands on his hips. Schwoz nodded, too, hiding a small smirk behind his hand as Bose paused, scratching his head to try and remember… “Wait, did I do it?”

“No, Bose. You did not,” the genius told him slyly, a strange, naughty twinkle in his eye as he rose from the edge of the couch, a swagger in his step. “But! I know who did…”

“What do you mean, Schwoz?” (y/n) asked suspiciously, stepping closer as she and the others hung on his every word.

Bose, mainly, was excited, cheering and leaping to stand behind Ray, who only wanted his precious wife near him as his heart raced. He'd do something unspeakable to them when he found out who it was.

“So, who did it?” He asked nervously, clutching (y/n)’s hand for support as the stupid one breathed down his neck.

Schwoz plucked a hidden folder from behind the supercomputer – the same pale yellow envelope that had plagued them since the beginning. “I will tell you…”

He waited for a split second, allowing the kids to buzz excitedly before plucking the paper from inside. It wasn’t a document or report; instead, it was a photo of the culprit, and low and behold, they all knew who it was.

That bald head, that fuzzy coconut hair, that stupid smirk…

“Holy shit…” (y/n) muttered, clutching over her heart as the kids giggled and gasped. Ray’s face, however, was set in stone, colourless and shocked, limply dropping his wife’s hand as he stared at his traitorous handyman.

He couldn’t believe it, looking at the photo of Schwoz’s stupid face as he stood there, chuckling evilly to himself. Out of everyone, he suspected him the least, and it felt like he’d actually been stabbed in the back.

“What?!”

“Schwoz?!” (y/n) hissed, placing a comforting hand on her doofus’ back to try and soothe him. “Why would you do that?!”

The snarl she got in return was vicious, and it was the genius’ turn to point the finger at the hero. “Because he kept demonstrating pranks on me! That hurt!”

“So, you decided to cause absolute chaos?” The woman shook her head in disbelief, not knowing if she wanted to rip his head off or applaud his sheer ingenuity. “We argued, and everything in here fell into deep shit because of you?!”

All Schwoz did was chuckle, readily admitting to his guilt without knowing it signed his death warrant. Whilst his sweet girl was on the fence, Ray did not need to think about ripping his head off, growling and lunging for the little shit.

“Get over here! You want a prank?! I got a prank for you, Schwoz!”

The others watched as the hero caught the smaller man in his clutches, securing him with one beefy arm whilst the other rubbed his knuckles against his scalp. Soon, Ray wouldn’t be the only one with patchy hair if he had anything to say about it.

“Are you gonna stop him?” Asked Chapa as she leaned over to whisper in (y/n)’s ear. “He’ll end up killing him. You know that, right?”

“Eh…” The heroine simply shrugged, pretending to check her nails before glancing back at the children. “You can’t say he doesn’t deserve it.”

They couldn’t argue with that, watching as their boss pounded against Schwoz’s head, squealing and begging for mercy. It was hilarious, and Chapa had to smother her laughter, but really, it was right. They were superheroes, after all.

“(y/n/n)!” Mika said, her voice sounding scolding but not harsh. “You can’t let that happen!”

The woman just sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose before looking at the feuding men. “Yeah… Yeah, you’re right. Doofus!”

She stepped forward and inserted herself between them, using what strength she’d gained as a heroine to prise her adorable idiot away from the scheming miscreant. Ray still scrambled to get to Schwoz, even as she kept him away at arm’s length. “Just leave it, Raymond! He’s not worth it!”

“Yeah, but he needs to be taught a lesson, sweet girl!” The man seethed, getting a little swipe of his blunt nails down Schwoz’s face. “I’m gonna rip off his head and shove it so far up his a—!”

His wife didn’t wait to hear such filth. She twisted in his arms, looped hers around his neck, and kissed him, swallowing whatever threats he wanted to say. For a moment, Ray fought it, still desperate to show the little guy who the boss was, but soon, his eyes fluttered shut, and he succumbed to her charms.

His body relaxed, and he gathered her in his embrace, groaning lowly when her tongue brushed his lower lip. If this was peaceful negations, he was more than happy to oblige.

“Ugh…” Miles rolled his eyes, peeking through his fingers at the display. Sure, it was a smart move by the woman as her distraction allowed Schwoz to scuttle away, but God… “I might vomit.”

His sister bumped his shoulder, sighing softly at the romantic scene when Ray cupped his pretty girl’s cheeks, grinning into the kiss. “Oh, I think it’s cute!”

“Mika, he’s eating her face…” said Bose, a flash of fear in his eyes when he said that. He wouldn’t actually eat her, right?

“Do you think they ever get bored of that?” Asked Chapa, watching with a disgusted grimace and a morbid fascination. She’d never seen a man change his mind so quickly – all thoughts of revenge vanishing from his mind now he held her. “It’s all they ever do!”

“We can hear you, you know…” muttered (y/n), although her focus never left her doofus since he pulled her straight back in.

His lips trailed along her cheek, kissing all over her face as she giggled, making the kids shake their heads in exasperation. They watched as their boss hugged his beloved wife tightly, his wedding ring on proud display when he caught their gaze over her head.

“What?” He asked when he noticed their stares - some troubled, some soft, but all fixated on them.

“I’m in love with my wife. Is that really such a bad thing?”

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