#reading under a tree
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different.
#canāt help but recognize how kieran is a fantastic unspoken representation of autism#i see a lot of myself in him and the way that he is so isolated and lonely and yet cannot help but perform and find solace in his daily#routines is so heartbreaking in its own way to me. like no matter what you do or where you are you have no choice but to be yourself and fun#nction the only way you know how and it will never not be vastly different from everyone else. and when youāre surrounded by people who DONT#like you and will not accommodate and are not at all willing or curious in understanding WHY you are the way you are youāre left to just ā¦.#live in your own head forever. iām certain kieran thinks many wonderous things and sees the world in a beautiful light and i know this becau#se i am autistic myself and because of that i see the world in colours that neurotypical people will never comprehend but weāre never allowe#d to see the world through kieranās eyes. we are never allowed to see where his heart rests or the poetry he waxes or what he believes or wh#at his triggers are or whatās a stim and whatās just habit or anything. anything. the breeze sounds different to him and he can hear birds f#or miles and the sun makes every hair on his arms tingle and thatās why he wears layers everywhere and every green he sees sings a beautiful#song to him and yet weāll never know. because he is too different even for the van der linde gang. he is incomprehensible to them and he doe#s all of his 4/5 daily tasks over and over and over again and while he would always do them and will always do them because they are innate#to him no one will ever know just what they mean to him. no one will ever know that kieran duffy can distinguish the horses behind him by th#eir breathing cadences behind him as he scrubs the spare saddle with the sun high above his head and he can know when something is wrong bec#ause he can hear it. no one will ever know that he CAN read but the only thing heās interested in is books about wildlife and horses and fis#h in particular and no one will ever know because he knows no one will ever understand or even care and if they do theyāll be sure to make#it a point to tell him how DIFFERENT he is. and realistically even if the vdlās DID come around to liking him he STILL would NEVER be unders#tood. i know for certain he would always be described as odd and despite its new affectionate approach he would still be the odd one out wit#h his daily routines and his texture preferences and his inability to make eye contact and his erratic seemingly random triggers and his#anxiety that seems to have a mind of its own. no one would ever know how bright the tree leaves are in his eyes or how every horse smells di#fferent or why sometimes itās more fun to reel his rod in over and over instead of actually catching a fish. he will always be ā¦. different.#sorry. novel moment. he means a lot to me.#iām not super happy with how he looks in these but iām just trying to draw more :ā) i always say that but i always mean it too#also if my novel makes no sense then just ignore it. itās late and my head hurts. i tend to get tangential#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#image#art#hero draws sometimes
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ARE YOU SEEING THISSSSSSSSSSS??????v
Haiciwiwjfhiwiaiwkqbf r va grojdiwoqoqwing
THE LAURAL WREATH ON HIS HEADD!!
HONGS LITTLE FACEEEEE
(>^Ļ^<)
This man is just laying there peacefully with his babies all around him looking at them like theyāre his world and omg and Raonās little claws and omg hands and WAIT OMG UIS HAIR I JUST NOTICATED ITS LONG OMG IM FERAL


I CANTTTTTT ITS AMAZING
#iām going feral#his hair tho#so pretty wahhhhh#and hongās face???#spoiler: im pretty sure this scene is when he wakes up from under the World Tree (?)#but I could be misremembering it#so donāt mind me#ooooo#I love this story so much#Iāve been so busy with school lately and when Iām not doing school Iām with family and friends#so I havenāt even finished reading the first physical volume#shit that was a while ago#this previous September BUT STILL#Iām like half way doneā¦#maybe o should go grab it :)#post#m3 kk#cale henituse#tcf cale#tcf novel#lcf#trash of the count's family#lout of the countās family#tcf#roan miru
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Big, grumpy, scary manhwa men blushing is my favourite genreš„°
#manhwa#under the oak tree#webtoon#manhwa men#fictional men#romance#reading#romance books#romance quotes#manhwa smut
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oh yea bb i survived my finals
anways look its my fav fluffy tree and fluffy pig
#technoblade#techno fanart#technoblade fanart#subscribe to technoblade#reading under a cherry blossom tree sounds amazing#my art ig
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Obsessed with the physical copies of Under the Oak Tree by Suji Kim. I read some of it on Manta but fell off for some life reasons and I'm SO excited to get back into both the manhwa and novel versions!
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Peeking Through, April 2024
#spring#photo etudes#spring is in the air#epping forest#leytonstone#experimental#grass#green#grass is greener#jungle#forest#witchy#pond#water#reading nook#come sit with me#under the tree#tree#sunshine#rays#sun rays#light play#contrast#sit a while
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hymn dearest hymn. what say you to a fic that rewrites the whole ārevivebur making a deal with dreamxdā thing the way i thought it was gonna go before that stream happened. ft cwilbur experiencing the totality of the universe and also the end poem and basically having a transcendentalist mindfuck acid trip that was mostly just a test from dreamxd to see if his love or lack of faith was stronger
WHERE
#do you think me Tantalus dangling this before me and not even whispering a hint of what the fic could be!!!!!!!!!!!!#you whisper much praise of the sweet under the eden-fig's skin and yet hold it above my reach on the tree!!!!!!!!!!!!!#shall you not let me sink my teeth in and get cast out of the gardens in the foot of the heavens because i wont stop barking at revivebur!!#THAT'S TO SAY PLEASE TELL ME I WANT TO READ IT#anonhymns
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I went back to the panels in Nightwing #127 (1996) and saw something I hadnāt noticed before:
The colourists, Richard and Tanya Horie, have Dick WEAR OUT HIS GLOVES digging out of the grave. His fingers are visible.
Also the man dug through tree roots to escape. Never let it be said Dick had it easy here.
#z canon read throughs#dick grayson#āIāll just dig myself out sideways. under a treeā said this idiot
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Every so often his existence activities some part in my brain and then I have to draw him
#I donāt even know#I saw a oc under tree shade(tm) drawing and had the thought āoh ezio would look nice like thatā and then I HAD to draw it out#I was drinking wine while sketching this#it was an experience#heās so pretty I canāt cope#the funniest part to me is that Iām not even read a fic ab him#Iām actually reading āEagle of Alamutāā on ao3#itās a great Desmond/Altair fic#anyway#the Italian is till consuming most of my brain#I might be a tiny bit tipsy#ezio auditore#ac ezio#ezio trilogy#ac brotherhood#assassin's creed#ezio assassins creed#ah and the note was my bf after I wrote my belovedās name in his notebook#barb art
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@katrani so, when I'm doing a fic that is, hard, a lot of times I'll create like a little map that is very very sketchy, and when I decided I was gonna bring Hughes into this nightmare because it made sense for him both to have the insight and be willing to tell Roy shit he doesn't particularly want to hear, this was my sketch note:
@morkaischosen when I think about the two of them, one of the things I really think about is how Hawkeye protects herself and gives nothing away by not saying much, and Roy protects himself by fucking flooding the zone. You can never ever tell if he's being serious and sincere or not. It's another way that they are this matched pair, because in the same way that Roy knows what she is saying when she says nothing, she can winnow out what he actually means when he cloaks everything in what comes down to, "I'm just joking obviously" They are safe enough with each other to be vulnerable, but they also don't ask it of each other. They don't need to by this point in their relationship! Hakweye doesn't need to say, "I love you even when you make me fucking crazy you asshole jesus christ and I am so so angry at you but this isn't the end" because she just wordlessly and quietly removed the clip from his gun which communicates all that. And Roy hears that! IN the same way that his whole speech joking about sentimentality and beetles and all that contains the words Hawkeye needs to hear to know that what he means is: "I did in fact wrong you and I'm sorry" They are both insane. They are making me insane. I am so sory about this ramble, it will happen again.
And also yes! I do think Roy appreciates that she would take her execution like a fucking champ, and I agree with him that I think she would. I think Roy is being whatever version of sincere he's capable of being when he says he doesn't have to tell her how good she is at her job. (and hawkeye is being sincere when she tells him to knock it off with what is very nearly tenderness)
@katrani tis was my first real outing with Hughes and it was fun! I think when the three of them are together it can be sort of "how could Hawkeye get a word in edgewise even if she was thus inclined?" and that can be really fun maybe but this wasn't the venue I needed him to solve a problem and be smart ahaha.
One of the hardest things in this fic, besides figuring out how the fuck to start with Hughes was, "How do I communicate that Hawkeye is fucking furious, BUT, she's not furious in a way that will sever the relationship?" and I was not displeased when I came up with this.
THANK YOU ALL
#actually rewatching 5 87 times (read: 2)#made me realize 'oh Hughes can fight!'#so#the nascent idea of he and Hawkeye like drunkely sparring while Roy sits under a tree or soimething#rewatching 5 also made me really think about FRAME and I am not going to write the wholew post because it'll come off as a lecture#but like...I saw ENTIRE parts of that episode differently and I wish people got#how watching something COLD is so so so different#I'm tlaking about even what I chose to watch#I even disagree with some of my original posts on the ep!
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I go back and forth on being understanding and upset that people don't know/forget that Melina's dagger (Blade of Calling) is found in a one-room, guarded, prison that was built inside the elevator lift that goes to a place no one is supposed to go to anymore (Consecrated Snowfields/Forbidden Lands SoG)
And there's this item on a corpse right outside the room
Official's Attire Grubby blue robe worn by magisterial officials to carry out their grim tasks. Surveillance, executions, gruesome rituals... The darkest duties drive the wheels of mankind.
And here's the description for the Blade of Calling
Blade of Calling Dagger given to one who set out on a journey to fulfill her duty long ago. The power of its former owner, the kindling maiden, is still apparent. The one who walks alongside flame, Shall one day meet the road of Destined Death.
We know that Melina was born at the base of the Erdtree, she was given her duty by Marika, and remembers quotes from her mother. And yet she doesn't remember what it's like to have a loving mother
Melina about Boc: "I think he misses his mother. He wants someone to tell him he's beautiful. Does being born of a mother... Mean one behaves in such a manner?"
I also find it interesting that Melina was given this purpose but now is not doing it for Marika, but for herself and she talks a lot about how she wants to see this world change for the better. Ex.:
Melina: However ruined this world has become, however mired in torment and despair, life endures. Births continue. There is beauty in that, is there not?
My own personal theory is that Marika knew that her first daughter was destined to burn the Erdtree and that scared Marika, so she locked her away and Melina died in that room. I know that doesn't explain the burn marks on her skin or why Melina has a claw/talon mark over her closed eye that goes away when we don't use Death/Giant's Flame but Frenzied Flame. And no I do not think Melina is/was the Gloam Eyed Queen.
#melina#roodle talks elden ring#elden ring#shadow of the erdtree#i love her so much#i read her as someone who knows the world needs to change#via a self sacrifice since this is elden ring#and also marika did not want her age to end#and every other tarnished that close to burning the tree couldnt because they felt bad for their maiden#i.e. vyke and bernahl#and so melina knows someone has to kick off the end and that it has to be her after all shes already bodyless#but omg she was locked in a secret room with no light and a person always on guard#and its a nice room but omg what a horrible way to live#always under surveillance
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i'm ngl i genuinely don't rly understand escapism fiction at all like i get the idea of course but i don't understand what i'm supposed to be getting out of it. i don't understand what sort of relationship i'm supposed to have with something like that. it's fully a personal opinion and i'm not hating on it either i'm just very ??? about it
#i think there is a cultural difference here at play also. we were never taught fiction is escapism#we read under the hawthorn tree in 5th class and the teacher said 'this story is about YOUR people'#the books we read were always tragic. it's compelling.
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In Memoriam, April 2024
Robbed of its colour, this feels to me almost like a mourning, especially with the branches looking rather bare.
#spring#photo etudes#spring is in the air#epping forest#leytonstone#not winter#experimental#grass#green#grass is greener#sunshine#contrast#reading nook#reading spot#cosy#under the tree#light play#bw#b&w#monochrome#greyscale#black and white#black & white#gloom#despair
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I'm so excited to finally own Under the Oak Tree in physical print!!
I had originally found an English translation online back in 2020 and instantly fell in love with Maximilian.
I've already started reading the book š š
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y'all wanna see some cool moss and lichen? of course you do.





#great tree to read under today. would've climbed it but i didn't wanna disturb all of the coverings#pacific northwest
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