#rocket league idiot

[tinyissleepy]

i let the intrusive thoughts win

[seungkw1]

don’t you want me, baby? — yjh [SIDE A]

🎧 spotify playlist

🖭 pairing: yoon jeonghan x fem!reader 🖭 theme: 80s au, romance, humor 🖭 wc: 12.5k 🖭 warnings: part 1: smoking (brief), underage drinking, mildly suggestive, 95z are idiots (lovingly); part 2: smut 🖭 a/n: this fic parallels a mixtape and takes place over the course of most of reader’s life - Side A (this part) is childhood through high school and Side B (part 2) will be through college. the names of the chapters correspond to the playlist linked above, make sure to check it out :) shoutout to @lovetaroandtaemin and @miniseokminnies for beta reading <3 // this was written for the @camandemstudios Lonely Hearts Cafe collab! check out the full masterlist here!!

You've known Jeonghan nearly your whole life. At first, he was just the annoying kid who lived down the street, but eventually you became part of the same friend group. You date his best friend for a bit, but when that relationship ends, you begin to spend more time with him - one-on-one. Soon, you start to realize that there might be more to your relationship with Jeonghan than you initially thought.

TRACKLIST: SIDE A Track 01: Don’t You Want Me – The Human League Track 02: Jessie’s Girl – Rick Springfield Track 03: Take on Me – a-ha Track 04: What I Like About You – The Romantics Track 05: Tainted Love – Soft Cell SIDE B Track 06: The Boys Of Summer – Don Henley Track 07: Don’t You (Forget About Me) – Simple Minds Track 08: Everybody Wants To Rule The World – Tears for Fears Track 09: Let’s Dance – David Bowie Track 10: Can’t Fight This Feeling – REO Speedwagon Track 11: You Make My Dreams (Come True) – Daryll Hall & John Oates

🖭 Track 01: Don’t You Want Me – The Human League 

🎶 You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me

[1973, Spring - Third Grade]

“Y/n!”

You turn at the sound of your name. It’s your annoying neighbor and classmate, Jeonghan, chasing you down as you walk home. You had both just gotten off the school bus - he lives on the same street as you, just a few doors down. Unfortunate. As if seeing him all day in class wasn’t bad enough. You’re already past his house, but now it appears he’s following you to yours. You turn back around and continue down the sidewalk, choosing to ignore him - but he’s persistent.

“Hey y/n!! Wait up!”

You pick up your pace, but the sound of his sneakers smacking against the concrete gets louder as he runs after you, quickly catching up. You yelp as he yanks you by the handle of your backpack, sending you flying backwards. You crash into him, knocking the both of you to the ground.

“Ow! What the hell, Jeonghan!!” you shout as you scramble to get off of him. You roll to the side, lightly scraping your knees as you catch yourself. It hurts, but at the moment you have a bigger problem to deal with.

“You can’t say H-E-double hockey sticks, that’s a BAD WORD!” he yells back, trying to get up off the ground, but with a swift push of your foot you knock him back down. 

“Hey, no fair!!” he squeaks at you, wiggling away as he jumps back to his feet. “I’m telling my mom!”

“What are you gonna tell her, that you got beat up by a girl?” you taunt. He opens his mouth to argue back, but he realizes you’re right. Scowling, he sticks his tongue out and blows a raspberry at you, before turning around and running off back to his own house. Annoyed, you brush the dirt off your knees and head home. 

Stupid boys, you think to yourself. I am NEVER EVER going to kiss one.

[1978, Fall - Eighth Grade]

The crisp autumn breeze rushes through your hair as you vigorously pedal your three-speed bicycle uphill. As you reach the hilltop, the image of the town unfolds before you: you see the arcade, the pharmacy, various shops and newspaper stands - but most importantly, your destination: the movie theater. You swing your feet out as you drift over the peak, releasing the pedals, letting gravity take over as you plummet downhill as fast as a rocket. As you near the theater, you apply the brakes, slowing yourself to a more reasonable pace as you ride up onto the sidewalk. Outside the entrance sits your best friend, Valerie; she looks up as you approach, giving you a friendly wave. 

“Finally, there you are,” she tells you with a grin as you hop off your bike and park it at the rack. “Let's go get our tickets.”

You start walking toward the ticket booth together, when a familiar voice calls out from behind you. 

“Valerie! Y/n!”

You turn around, spotting a group of boys hanging out in the alley - it's your classmates, Joshua, Seungcheol, and Jeonghan. You frown, glancing sideways at Valerie, but she's already skipping over toward them. You don't particularly care for these three, but it's no secret that she has a huge crush on Seungcheol. Reluctantly, you follow. 

“Hi boys,” she says as you two approach the alleyway, practically batting her eyelashes at Cheol. “What are you all doing here?”

Joshua beckons to the both of you with a mischievous grin on his face. “Come over here, look what Jeonghan’s got.”

As you step into the alley, Jeonghan reaches into his pocket. With a smirk, he pulls out a very crushed box of Marlboros. He opens the flap to reveal two cigarettes inside; he takes one out, holding the filter awkwardly between his forefinger and thumb. 

“Stole these from my dad,” he informs you proudly. You stare dully back at him, unamused. 

“Gimme the lighter,” he says to Joshua, holding his free hand out demandingly. Joshua reaches into the breast pocket of his jean jacket, retrieving a worn silver zippo and setting it in Jeonghan’s open palm. He flicks the lid open with his thumb as he places the cigarette to his lips. Snapping the wheel, the lighter ignites - but is immediately extinguished by a gust of cold wind. 

“You have to put your hand over it, dipshit,” Seungcheol says as he tries to snatch the zippo, but Jeonghan quickly blocks him with his elbow. 

“Ouch!” Cheol whines. 

“Shut up, I got this,” Jeonghan gripes, flicking the lighter open again. He raises the flame to the unlit end, this time blocking the wind with his other hand. The paper catches, glowing orange as he inhales - taking far too long of a drag. A coughing fit hits him, turning away as his poor unprepared lungs try to expel the smoke. Cheol rolls his eyes.

“Gimme that,” he snaps as he whisks the cigarette from Jeonghan’s fingers. He places it to his lips, taking a far more careful drag than Jeonghan did, but it’s still too much. With a harsh cough, he quickly rids himself of the cigarette by shoving it into Joshua’s hands. Unbothered by his friends’ current state, he pretends to take a drag, exhaling nothing as he shakes his head at the other two coughing boys. 

“You guys are stupid,” he scorns. He turns, offering the cig to you and Valerie. Val stares at Cheol and Jeonghan, still coughing, a mildly disgusted expression on her face. 

“No, thank you,” she tells him, waving her hand in dismissal of the cigarette. Joshua shrugs, pretending to take another drag, but this time he accidentally inhales. He tries to stifle the cough that hits him this time, to no avail. With a grimace, he tosses the half-burnt cigarette to the ground, extinguishing it with a few stomps.

“So,” Seungcheol says as he rejoins the group, dragging Jeonghan by the arm, pretending like he didn’t just completely embarrass himself. “What movie are you guys going to see?”

“We’re seeing Grease,” you answer, causing the boys to snicker. 

“Lame,” Joshua replies. You shoot a glare back at him. 

“We’re seeing Halloween,” he continues. “But I guess that movie isn’t for girls.”

“Oh, please,” Valerie scoffs. “Girls can see any movie that boys can.”

“Yeah right,” Cheol taunts her. “It’s too scary, you would run away crying.”

“Nuh-uh!” Valerie exclaims, stamping her foot into the ground. “We’re no scaredy cats.”

“Prove it,” Jeonghan says smugly. “Come see Halloween with us.”

“We don’t want to see Halloween,” you reject. “We want to see Grease.”

“Okay, scaredy cat. I double-dog dare you.”

“We’ll do it,” Valerie answers Jeonghan before you can say another word. You turn, giving her a frown, but she’s too immersed in gazing at Cheol to notice your disapproval. 

“Alright!” Seungcheol bursts out, punching his fist in the air. “Last one there’s a rotten egg!”

The three boys take off, racing back to the main street toward the theater. Valerie starts to follow them, but you tug on her arm.

“Do you really want to see Halloween?” you question - but you already know the answer.

“No,” she admits, crossing her arms and looking down at the ground. “But I want Seungcheol to like me. And I don’t think he’ll ever ask me out if I chicken out now.”

You don’t think that’s true, but you also don’t really want to get into the inner workings of how teenage boys operate right now. 

“Alright,” you concede, linking your arm with hers as you head toward the theater. “Besides, it can’t be that scary, right?”

It was, in fact, that scary.

You’re deeply embarrassed, but so are the boys. You may have screamed and cried for most of the movie, but they were no better. Jeonghan flew out of his seat with every jumpscare, Seungcheol was on the floor hiding for half of it, and Joshua was pretending not to be scared, but he had his eyes shut tight the whole time. Valerie was just as scared as you were, but her plan to catch Seungcheol’s eye was apparently successful. They walked out of the theater side by side, giggling together. You don’t bother hiding your displeasure, walking behind them grimacing at the back of Seungcheol’s dumb head. Joshua departs from the group, taking off running in the direction of his house without a word. Now with no one else to bug, Jeonghan makes his way over to you. 

“That was awesome, huh?” he says with a stupid grin you wish you could slap off his face. 

“Right, that’s why you cried four times.” You catch the sight of Joshua’s back in the distance - he’s two blocks away now and still running at top speed. 

“Did not! It was only three.” 

“Whatever,” you remark, still distracted by a sprinting Joshua. He turns the corner onto his street, out of your line of sight. You focus your attention back to Jeonghan, who is now startlingly close to you. You’re a good two inches taller than him, so he has to look up at you - and the look he has on his face now makes you nervous.

“So,” he starts, nudging his elbow into your arm. “Wanna go grab a soda?” 

You stare at him, blindsided by his sudden change of attitude towards you. Where did this come from?

“What?”

“Do you want to go grab a soda with me?” he repeats.

“No, I heard you,” you tell him with a puzzled look on your face.  “I mean, are you asking me out?”

“Yeah,” Jeonghan nods coolly. “I am. Figured it was about time.”

“About time?? What exactly does that mean?”

“Come on, y/n,” he tells you, the stupid grin back on his face. “Everybody knows you like me.”

You stop in your tracks. Jeonghan turns back, facing you to see you stare at him incredulously. 

“I do NOT ‘like you’. Not like that!” you snap, thoroughly annoyed. He smirks at your denial, irritating you further. “In fact,” you add, “I barely even like you at all.”

He chuckles, clearly not planning to believe you.

“Sure, whatever you say. Anyway, how about that soda?”

“You’re insufferable,” you retort with a glare before walking off.

“So is that a no?” you hear him ask behind you, but you ignore it. You head toward your parked bike, now sitting alone in the rack as Valerie and Cheol are nowhere to be seen. With a sigh you hoist your leg over the seat, ready to get the hell out of there. You take off, noticing Jeonghan still standing where you left him, watching you with a curious look on his face. He looks almost… sad? That can’t be right. For a moment you pause, wondering if you actually hurt his feelings. But then he winks at you, his lips curling back into that pretentious smirk. With an eye roll you pedal off into the street, your cheeks stinging once more as you ride into the cold wind. 

What a lousy day, you think to yourself. If you never saw Jeonghan or his dumb friends again, it would be too soon.

🖭 Track 02: Jessie’s Girl – Rick Springfield

🎶 I wanna tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot

[1982, Fall - Junior Year]

riiiiiiiiiiiiiing

Your head snaps up as the harsh bell resonates from the hallway. You squint your eyes closed again as the classroom lights are suddenly turned on, signalling the end to the school day and the end to whatever boring video your chemistry teacher had decided to play instead of teaching today. Stifling a yawn, you toss your books into your backpack and swing it over your shoulder as you sluggishly traipse out the classroom door. The buzzing hallways quickly wake you up, filled with chatter and commotion as students flock to their lockers and out the doors. You locate your own locker, mindlessly spinning the combination lock until the door opens with a clunk. You rummage through your belongings, grabbing the notebooks and textbooks you need for homework tonight. As you swing the door closed, a face materializes inches away from you.

“Shit!” you jump, before registering the face’s owner as your boyfriend, Joshua. You give him a swift shove - he dramatically pretends to fall against the wall of lockers. You roll your eyes as you start to walk away. Joshua quickly catches up, wrapping one arm around your shoulders as you exit the building. 

“So,” he starts, grinning in a way that makes you immediately suspicious. “I had an idea.”

“Oh god,” you groan. “What is it now?”

“Aw come on, you never like my ideas,” he pouts.

“Yeah, because they’re always crazy.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“Last time you had a grand idea, Seungcheol had to go to the hospital to get stitches, and we got escorted home in a cop car,” you remind him. “I was grounded for weeks.”

“How was I supposed to know that construction site was off-limits?” he asks with feigned ignorance. You raise your eyebrow at him, unamused.

“Probably by the signs everywhere that said ‘DO NOT ENTER’.” 

He shrugs it off. “Okay, you got me there. But I promise this time it’s nothing crazy.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it.”

“So, are you game?”

“Maybe,” you answer. “If you actually tell me what it is first.” He grins, the mischievous look on his face making you skeptical already. 

“Just a small party. Jeonghan’s parents are out of town, so we’re gonna hang there.”

“And who’s all going?”

“Me, Cheol, Hannie obviously, Soonyoung… ya know, the usual suspects,” he replies. “Bring Val and anyone else who’s cool.”

“Alright, fine” you sigh. His face instantly lights up. 

“Awesome! Party starts at 8:30.” 

You stop walking, clutching onto his arm and turning him to face you.

“You promise it won’t get out of hand?” 

He takes your hands in his, nodding earnestly.

“Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“Well that seems a little dramatic,” you pretend to scoff, but a smile peeks through. He grins back, giving you a quick peck on the cheek. 

“See you there, then.”

“Truth.”

Val focuses on Joshua, waiting for his question. You think truth or dare is a stupid game, juvenile at best, but everybody always seems to want to play.

“Okay,” he replies to her smugly. “Who was your first kiss?”

Panic flashes through her eyes for a brief moment, but she plays it cool. You know her answer, and you know why she wouldn’t want to share. She pauses, pursing her lips, but Joshua is impatient. 

“Come on, don’t be shy,” he taunts. Her eyes flicker around the room, glancing at Cheol, then at you, then back at Cheol. 

“It’s okay babe, you can say it. I don’t mind,” Cheol assures her, lying. 

You spot Soonyoung quietly getting up, ostensibly to grab another pop. Val sees him too, narrowing her eyes at his back.

“Fine,” she admits. “It was Soonyoung.” 

“WHAT?!” Jeonghan exclaims, nearly doing a spit-take with his cup of Sprite. 

“No way,” Joshua responds, smirking as he glances at Seungcheol, whose face is quickly turning cherry-red. He bites his lip, attempting to remain nonchalant - to no avail. Val inadvertently giggles at him, immediately clasping her hand over her mouth. Cheol glares at Soonyoung, who is halfway to the kitchen, giving a solid huff before he flies out of his seat - Soonyoung sees him and flees, but Cheol is faster. He tackles his friend through the doorway, followed by the sounds of several objects clanking against the floor.

“Hey!” Jeonghan yells after them. “Don’t trash the place you idiots!!” He saunters after them, making sure the two don’t actually break anything - household objects nor bones. As he disappears into the kitchen the doorbell rings.

“Are you expecting more people?” you ask, glancing at Joshua. 

“Oh yeah I invited Mark - you know, from the basketball team,” he replies. “It’s probably him. Wanna get it, Val?”

“Not really,” she responds, staring dully at him. “But sure, I guess.”

She gets up and heads to answer the door, leaving you and Joshua alone in the living room. A big goofy grin spreads across his face as he slides over toward you, cornering you against the arm of the couch as he wraps his arm around your waist.

“Finally, a moment of peace,” he tells you as he draws your face in close. A loud bang resonates from the kitchen.

“You know Seungcheol is kicking Soonyoung’s ass in the other room right now, right?”

“Eh, they’re fine.”

He presses his lips softly against yours, pulling your body in close and resting his hand upon your thigh. You kiss him back, butterflies in your stomach as you savor the rare moment of alone time with your boyfriend.

“Ahem.”

You jump, breaking this kiss to see Jeonghan standing in the doorway.

“If you must do that, get a room, will you?” he asks, clearly irked. You feel your face grow hot.

“Sorry,” you mumble. Joshua opens his mouth, ready to tell his friend off, but he’s interrupted by the newcomers entering the living room. You recognize Mark, but it appears he brought the entire basketball team with him - a large string of boys wander into the room, the sound of “Eye of the Tiger” filling the air as a particularly tall one carries in a boombox on his shoulder. Soonyoung and Seungcheol stumble back in, hair and clothes tussled, pretending like nothing just happened.

“Hey Mingi!” Soonyoung shouts gleefully to the tall boombox boy. “Turn that shit up!”

You cast a nervous glance at Joshua. “I didn’t think there would be this many people here,” you tell him.

“Relax, y/n, it’s okay,” he says with his usual cheery smile on his face. He gives you a quick kiss on the cheek before hopping off the couch to greet the entourage. 

You look around for Val, but she appears to have disappeared, probably off somewhere with Cheol. Soonyoung and Joshua are engaged in a passionate debate about who would win in a fight between Indiana Jones and E.T., for some reason. Aside from Mark, you don’t really know anybody on the basketball team, but he’s in the middle of an arm wrestling match anyway. Once again, you have nobody to talk to. Why does this always happen to me, you mope to yourself. Sighing, you stand up and make your way to the kitchen in search of another Coke. Any excuse to leave the room that is growing more chaotic by the moment.

The chatter and shouting is still audible from the kitchen, but it’s certainly much quieter. You head to the fridge, spotting Jeonghan already there. He notices you, turning his head and giving you a nod.

“Hey, y/n.”

“Hay is for horses,” you reply. He raises his brow at you, letting out a small laugh. He grabs a Coke from the fridge and hands it to you.

“Oh, thanks.” The can lets out a crisp hissss as you pop the tab.

“I didn’t know so many people would be coming,” you remark as you take a sip. 

“Me neither,” he says with a concerned frown, glancing toward the noisy living room full of teenagers. A loud crashing noise echoes from amidst the crowd of people, followed by Soonyoung whooping loudly.

“Oh god,” Jeonghan grumbles. “I’m gonna be so grounded.”

“You should tell them to tone it down,” you suggest. “It’s your house after all.”

“No way,” he says as he shakes his head. “They’re gonna think I’m so lame.”

“Who cares?” you tell him.

He opens his mouth to reply, but is interrupted by an eruption of cheering. He wanders over to the doorway, peering out to see what the commotion is; you follow. There are even more people here than there were before, the living room now filled with even more jocks and a group of preps - all seniors - who appear to have brought several cases of beer.

“Shit,” Jeonghan mumbles under his breath, staring nervously at the crowd of high schoolers passing red solo cups filled with alcohol around the room. 

“What are you going to do?” you ask, turning to look at him. He’s standing much closer to you than you realized, but with you both in the doorway you don’t have much room to back up without it being obvious. You notice for the first time that he has really long eyelashes, framing his eyes as they shift nervously around the chaotic scene.

One of the preppy girls bounces over to you two, holding out two cups of beer. 

“Rad party, Jeonghan,” she smiles at him, handing him one of the drinks. To your surprise, he takes it. She turns to give the other drink to you, pausing to quickly look you up and down.

“And what’s your name again?” 

“Y/n,” you tell her bluntly, not doing much to hide your annoyance at her attitude. 

“Riiight,” she replies, her fake smile dropping. She gives up on trying to hand you the beer and turns back to Jeonghan, raising her cup to his before she takes a drink. Hesitantly, he raises the cup to his lips and takes a sip, trying his best not to make a face at the bitter taste. She stares at him for a moment before deciding that he is too lame for her. She gives him a soft “hm” of disapproval, and with a flip of her hair she turns and heads back to her snooty friends. Jeonghan looks like he wants to crawl into a hole and die. He takes another swig of the beer, making another face as he stares into the pale yellow liquid in his cup.

“Are you really going to drink that?” you ask. He shrugs, still staring at the rowdy crowd of people in his parent’s living room.

“It’s fine,” he mumbles. “This is making me feel like I need a drink anyway.”

“Okay…” you reply skeptically. “Just be careful.”

He turns, making eye contact with you. He looks like he wants to say something, but he changes his mind.

“Yeah, I will,” he sighs.

You spend the rest of the night dodging people trying to give you beer. Joshua gets mildly drunk, coming to find you a few times to make sure you’re okay, but eventually he gets sucked into a heated and seemingly endless game of Uno. The party progresses more or less without issue - that is, until there is no more beer.

“Hey Yoon, you gonna bust out your parents’ alcohol stash for us or what?” one of the inebriated meathead jocks hollers across the room to Jeonghan, who is in the middle of putting on a new record. Fear flashes across his face. 

“Yeah, break out the booze!” the mean girl from earlier shouts.

His eyes dart around the room, panickedly looking for one of his friends; his eyes land on you, silently begging you to help him. Not knowing what to do, you give him a solid nod before running off to find Seungcheol. If these drunk morons are going to listen to anyone, it’ll be him. You eventually find him off in a corner making out with Val.

“Hey,” you blurt out. Cheol turns to you, prepared to be mad at you for interrupting their makeout sesh, but he sees the concerned look on your face.

“What is it?” he asks sincerely.

“We have a problem.”

You frantically start to explain, but he quickly picks up the issue. He storms back toward the living room; you and Val follow, peeking around the corner. 

“Alright, party’s over,” his voice booms through the room of drunken teens. The crowd starts to boo him.

“Come on Choi, don’t be a square,” one of the jocks shouts back at him.

“GET THE FUCK OUT!!!,” he screams. “NOW!!!!!!”

Begrudged murmurs ripple through the crowd, but everyone slowly begins to shuffle out.

“And none of you better be fucking driving!!” he adds.

He herds the last of the partygoers out, locking the door behind them. Joshua, having laid on the couch just a moment ago, is somehow already fast asleep. Jeonghan stares at him for a moment before settling for sitting on the floor, his back resting against the couch. He runs his hand through this hair, staring at the mess left behind by nearly half the school: solo cups littered around the room, empty cans carelessly tossed aside, spilled beer puddled upon every surface. And judging by the sour stench starting to reek, it’s soaked into the carpet too. 

“This was a stupid idea,” he mumbles, holding his head in his hands.

“It’s not your fault,” you assure him, taking a seat on the floor next to him. “It wasn’t supposed to get this out of hand.”

“I should’ve known, though.” He sighs, letting out a disheartened laugh. “Things always go wrong for me.”

“What do you mean?”

He looks at you for a moment, but his gaze falls back to his shoes.

“I dunno, every time Joshua does something crazy it works out fine for him.” He nudges his head toward his sleeping friend on the couch above. “But when I try to have fun I always get in trouble.”

“Well, Joshua’s an idiot.”

“I heard that…” Joshua murmurs from the couch, before turning over and falling back asleep. An amused smile appears on Jeonghan’s face for a moment.

“Anyway, we’ll clean everything up,” you tell him. “It’ll be alright. It won’t take too long between the five of us - well, four. Actually… Where the hell is Soonyoung?” you ask Seungcheol as he walks back into the room. 

“In the bathroom. With his head in the toilet.” 

“Lovely. How much did he drink??”

“One beer.”

Jeonghan snorts. “How embarrassing.”

You chuckle under your breath. Jeonghan suddenly rises to his feet; you follow suit. 

“What should we listen to while we clean?” he asks, heading over to the record player. 

“How about AC/DC? ‘Have a Drink on Me’?,” you suggest. Jeonghan shoots you a look out of the corner of his eye, making Cheol giggle.

“No? Maybe some Judas Priest? ‘Breaking the Law’?”

He narrows his eyes at you, pretending to be irked, but the corners of his mouth twitch into a slight smile.

“How about no,” he retorts. Turning back to the stack of records, he pulls out a purple album. “Here, this should be good.”

He spins the vinyl in his hands before setting it on the turntable. He moves the needle into place - heavy synth notes fill the air as the familiar track begins, making you grin. Jeonghan disappears into the kitchen for a moment, returning with several trash bags and a roll of paper towels. He hands you a bag, then tosses the roll to Seungcheol. 

“Right, well, let’s get to work.”

The sound of Prince singing ‘We’re gonna party like it’s 1999' plays as you start collecting the plethora of empty cans strewn about seemingly the entire house, Jeonghan joining you. You think it would be more efficient if he started on the other side of the room, instead of following behind you, but you keep it to yourself. Val makes a reappearance, looking only slightly queasy; she joins her boyfriend in wiping away the spilled drinks. You glance at your own boyfriend again, asleep on the couch still - and now snoring lightly. You let out a sigh that you don’t mean to be audible, but Jeonghan picks up on it.

“You okay?” he asks you sincerely. 

You pause for a moment. Are you okay?? It's a question you've been asking yourself a lot recently. You do love Joshua, and even outside of dating him, he is a good friend. But, something has felt different lately - you can't quite put your finger on it, but things just haven't been the same. You feel a lump welling in the back of your throat, threatening tears. Now is not the time to overthink about your relationship - you decide to swallow your words before you get emotional.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you lie, hoping he won’t prod further. He pauses, waiting in case you change your mind, but you go back to picking up cans in silence.

“Y/n,” he starts. His voice is soft, hesitant. You turn back to face him - you can tell there’s something on the tip of his tongue, something he’s nervous to say.

“What is it?” you ask. He licks his lips, debating whether to tell you. With a deep exhale, he quickly shakes his head. 

“There’s a can in that plant right next to you,” he says, pointing to the large potted palm. “Wasn’t sure if you saw it.”

You peek through the leaves - sure enough, a crushed Coors can lay crumpled atop the soil. 

“Oh, thanks.” You pick it up and toss it in the trash bag, it landing upon the others with an unpleasant clanking sound. Over your shoulder you see Jeonghan still looking at you - you turn to look at him again, but he quickly occupies himself with the trash. He’s acting a bit odd, but you brush it off - he has had a shitty night, after all. You make your way across the room, joining Val as she sops up beer off the fine china cabinet. Still feeling eyes on your back, you glance toward Jeonghan, who is still looking at you, the expression on his face indecipherable. His focus on you is broken by Seungcheol joining him, handing him a cold can of Sprite.

“Here,” you say, turning toward Val. “Let me help.” She rips off a few paper towels and places them in your outstretched hand. You lean down to scrub the damp carpet.

Whatever Jeonghan’s problem is, you decide it’s not your business. 

“Here you go.” 

Jeonghan snaps out of staring at the back of your head, turning to his friend offering him a Sprite. 

“Thanks, man,” he tells him sincerely. He barely had had any beer, but his head was already starting to ache. Nothing the sugar in an ice cold pop can’t handle, he thinks, though considering that he’s never had a drink in his life he’s not sure how he would know that. Regardless, the cold Sprite tastes delicious after the lousy night it’s been. 

“What were you and y/n talking about?” Seungcheol asks. Jeonghan jumps slightly at the question, but he realizes he just was genuinely asking - he’s never told his best friend about his life-long crush on you, so why would Cheol be suspicious? 

“Hm? Oh, nothing really,” he answers nonchalantly. “Just in disbelief of how much mess some teenagers can make in a couple hours.”

“You said it, dude,” Seungcheol agrees, face contorting into a disgusted expression as he realizes he's just picked up a used tissue with his bare hands. “Blech,” he gags as he chucks it into Jeonghan's trash bag. “That's nasty." He swiftly disappears into the kitchen to wash his hands. 

Left momentarily alone, Jeonghan’s mind begins to wander. He stares at his other best friend, who’s passed out on the couch. He’s known Joshua pretty much his whole life - people even call them twins sometimes, due to how similar their personalities are. And they're not wrong, it doesn't bother him. But sometimes, if he starts thinking too much, he wonders why you ended up with Joshua and not him. It’s no secret that out of the two of them, Joshua is far more charming and socially adept. And besides, Joshua made his move first. He can’t blame him for that when he had spent his whole life too afraid to even talk to you. He knows it's a stupid thing to ruminate over - but he can't help it. I’m in love with my best friend’s girlfriend, he thinks to himself, and there's nothing I can do about it. He turns his gaze to you, eyes wistful as he watches you from across the room.

And why did I almost confess that to her just a moment ago?

🖭 Track 03: Take on Me – a-ha 

🎶 Oh, I'll be comin' for your love, okay

[1983, Spring - Junior Year]

You shuffle through the gravelly school parking lot toward the brown Ford Pinto parked in its usual end spot. You yank the door open, startling Joshua and making him jump so high he bonks his head upon the carpeted roof. You plop into the passenger seat and slam the door shut behind you, letting out a loud sigh as you let your backpack slide to the floor. Joshua stares at you for a moment, rubbing his head. You stare back at him, neither one of you wanting to break the silence first, but you don’t have the patience today.

“So, are you going to actually talk to me now?" 

He opens his mouth to reply, but pauses, thinking over his answer. For once, you think to yourself.

“I’m sorry, y/n, really,” he finally responds. “I wasn’t ignoring you on purpose.”

“So you admit it, you were ignoring me then,” you point out. 

Realizing he’s already made a mistake, his shoulders drop as he sinks into the seat. He rests his left wrist atop the steering wheel as he stares at nothing in particular through the windshield. 

“I just didn’t know what to do,” he tells you downheartedly. Your stomach sinks - you know exactly where this is going. 

“Just say it, Joshua.”

Sheepishly he looks back to you, his face apologetic.

“I think we should break up.”

Even though you had mentally prepared for this moment, it still hurts. You turn away, leaning your head against the window as you stare off into the distance - you told yourself you weren’t going to cry, but your eyes start to water anyway. You take a deep breath, shoving the tears back down, but you still can’t look him in the eyes.

“Okay.”

He pauses, waiting for you to go on, but you say nothing. 

“So it’s mutual, then?” he asks quietly. You nod, still staring out the window. He lets out a sigh, somewhat relieved, but mostly melancholy. You both knew this was coming, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

“Can we still be friends?”

Your attention shifts, bringing your gaze back into the car. You turn, making eye contact with him. He seems nervous - he’s been avoiding this very conversation for fear of tearing the friend group apart. It’s the last thing he wants to happen, but he didn't know how you would feel about it.

“Yeah,” you answer, mustering up a slight smile. “Of course.” 

His head drops back against the headrest, a massive weight lifting from his shoulders.

“Oh thank god,” he says with a deep exhale. The edges of your lips twitch into a slight grin as you try not to laugh at his reaction. But you too are relieved.

He sits back up, reaching for the ignition. With a turn of the key, the dated car whirrs to life with a series of mildly concerning noises. 

“Need a ride home?”

“I’m gonna walk over to the library, actually,” you tell him as you pop the door latch and hop out of the car. That went much better than expected, but you still need to get the hell out of there. Grabbing your backpack, you go to give him the usual ‘love ya’, but you catch yourself. You stare at him blankly for a moment, trying to figure out what to say.

“Well, see you later then,” is what you land on; it comes out a bit too formally.

“See you later.”

You walk past the car and toward the main street. The library was an excuse, but you decide to head there anyway. Joshua watches you walk away for a bit, wondering if you’ll turn back around, but you don’t.

The last few months of junior year dragged on for what felt like an eternity. Like you both agreed, you and Joshua remained friends, and thus the friend group was saved. But, that didn’t stop things from being a bit weird. Nobody really knew what to do about it, but everyone reached an unspoken agreement to pretend like nothing happened. It was fine, for the most part, but you still found yourself avoiding Joshua at all costs. It ended up being pretty easy, as he was also avoiding you, and just spending noticeably less time with the whole group in general. Seungcheol and Val were still connected at the hip, of course. So, in a strange turn of events, you started hanging out with Jeonghan on the regular.

It was a little odd at first - not uncomfortable, you’ve known him your whole life, so spending one-on-one time with him was no biggie. But the frequency of you hanging out together, just you and him - that was certainly new. 

One of the first new Jeonghan-related discoveries you made was that you have a hobby in common: Legos. 

You didn’t really know anyone else who built Lego sets except for nerdiest kids in school, so it was information you generally kept to yourself, in the interest of not being made fun of. But one day, you make an off-hand comment about it.

Jeonghan’s face perks up, looking up at you from across the table. You’re currently in the mall food court, sharing a large serving of greasy french fries.

“You like Legos?” he asks, eyes wide as saucers. You shrug at him.

“Yup,” you reply nonchalantly. “Surprise, I’m a huge nerd.”

He leans forward, putting his elbows on the table as he gets closer to you, a smirk painted across his face. 

“I fucking love Legos,” he mutters under his breath.

And so, you end up in Jeonghan’s bedroom for the first time.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, you let him show you his favorites builds out of the dozens of completed sets on display around the room. You note the large pile of books on the floor, cleared out from the bookshelf to make space for even more Legos.

In the middle of telling you all about the Surface Rover set in his hands, he pauses, having suddenly become self-conscious of just how long he’s been talking. 

“Sorry,” he chuckles, embarrassed. “I’m probably boring you.”

“No no,” you pipe up, “These are so cool.” You smile at him reassuringly, making the mistake of direct eye contact. He stares at you through dark, pretty eyelashes, with an intensity that makes your stomach do a flip. It lingers for a moment, until he fully processes what is happening - he panics, staring at you with eyes even rounder than usual, before speedily looking down at the spacecraft in his hand. He occupies himself by fiddling with one of the tiny pieces, clicking it off and on several times. 

“Um, so,” he says as he places the ship back on its shelf. “What do you wanna do now?”

You’d already spent the whole afternoon with Jeonghan at the mall, and normally you would’ve gone home by now. You’ve never spent this much time with him - with just him - at once before.

“Um, I don’t know,” you tell him truthfully. You shift upon the bed, drawing your legs up to sit criss-cross applesauce. Jeonghan stands there awkwardly for a moment, empty-handed and not sure what to do next either. His eyes drift around the room, searching for quite literally anything to talk about. They light up as he spots a shoebox over on his desk, a grin spreading across his face.

“Wanna see something?”

“What kind of something?” you inquire, but he already has the box in hand. He makes his way to join you on the bed, plopping down right next to you - so close that his outer thigh brushes against your knee. You wait for him to scoot back a bit, but he doesn’t. He opens the shoebox, revealing a jumbled collection of old polaroids. He flips through them until he finds what he’s looking for. He picks up the photo, giggling at it for a second before handing it over. Taking it from him, you see a photo of some little kids at what you can only assume is a birthday party, based on the pointy hats and cake slices. A clown poses behind the kids, holding a balloon animal with a big goofy expression on his face - much to the chagrin of the girl on the right, who is in tears. You stare at it for a moment before it registers.

“Hey!” you exclaim, making Jeonghan burst out laughing. 

“Look at your face,” he teases, pointing to the girl in the photo. “You HATED that clown.”

“Yeah, and I still hate clowns to this day because of him!!” you pout, shoving him in the arm. 

“Well that’s just rude. He was a very nice man.”

“Well, look at your stupid face!” you stammer back. “You got frosting all over yourself like an idiot.”

“You can’t be mean to me, it was my birthday!”

“Yeah, like a million years ago,” you say, rolling your eyes at him, but you crack a smile as you laugh.

“Here,” you say as you hand it back to him. “Take it away.”

“You can keep it.”

“Why on earth would I want this?”

“You’re right, let me keep it,” he says as he reaches for the polaroid. “That way I can show everybody at school.”

“On second thought, I will keep it,” you respond, drawing the photo back out of his reach - but not before he leans over onto you trying to snatch it from your hand. He leans so far that he loses balance, nearly tipping over entirely onto you. His hand falls upon your thigh to catch himself. 

Time seems to go in slow-mo as he glances up at you, a big devious smile lighting up his face; he makes eye contact with you again, this time so close so very close oh my god, his face mere inches from yours. His grin begins to fade as he realizes just how close he is to you right now, the expression of pure joy on his face shifting into one of equal parts terror and mesmerization. 

And as suddenly as it happened - the moment is gone. 

Jeonghan sits back up, retracting his hands into his lap, pretending to be very interested in a mysterious dark stain on the carpet. You unfold your legs, swinging your feet back down to the floor.

“I should probably get going,” you announce as you hop up off of the bed. “I promised my mom I’d be home by dinnertime.” You pick your backpack up off the floor and sling it over one shoulder, turning around to say goodbye. 

“See you later, alligator.”

He smiles at you softly, giving you a playful salute.

“After while, crocodile.”

[1983, Summer Break]

“Okay, now which character do you think you’re most similar to?”

Harsh sunlight greets your eyes as you step out of the cool, dim theater into the stuffy summer heat. Jeonghan slurps the last of his Sprite from the plastic theater cup, tossing the empty drink at a nearby trash can, which he completely misses. He scurries after the cup as it starts to roll down the sidewalk; snatching it up, he walks humbly back to the trash and carefully places it in the bin. Rejoining you, he gives you an expectant look, waiting for your response to his question.

“Hmm,” you reply as you rack your brain for names of Star Wars characters. Jeonghan rented the first two movies and forced you to watch them with him before Return of the Jedi came out so he could drag you to go see it with him. You didn’t mind the films, you actually ended up liking them a lot more than you expected, but there were just TOO many characters to keep track of.

“I don’t know. Princess Leia, I suppose?”

“No way,” he immediately rejects, shaking his head. “You’re not that cool.”

“Umm, rude much??”

He snickers, amused with himself as usual. For a long time, you thought Jeonghan was a real tool, considering that he seemed to constantly be insulting you. But as you grew closer to him, you realized that’s just what he does - the more he makes fun of you, the more he likes you.

“Okay dumbass, which character do you think you are? Let’s hear it.”

“Han Solo,” he responds without missing a beat. 

“Pshhh,” you scoff at him. “Yeah right.”

“He’s cool, sarcastic, gets in trouble sometimes,” he explains. “An independent guy that doesn’t like being told what to do. Sound familiar?”

“Okay, fine,” you concede. “You’re definitely not that cool, but I’ll accept it.”

“And since I’m Han Solo, that means you’re Chewbacca.”

“WHAT?” you shout, much louder than you meant to. “I can accept being uncool, but I don’t want to be a big, hairy monster!” 

“He’s not a monster,” he corrects you. “He’s a good guy!”

“Yeah, who’s big and hairy!”

“Hey now, don’t judge a book by its cover.” 

You roll your eyes at him, a reaction you swear happens no fewer than fifteen times a day.

“You’re an idiot. Have I told you that?”

“Frequently,” he nods, giving you a proud grin.

You continue to banter as you walk back to Jeonghan’s car. The light blue ‘73 Mustang sits parked at the meter, sun reflecting off the windows. Since you don’t have your license yet, Jeonghan drives you pretty much everywhere these days. You secretly really like the car, and it actually makes your dork of a friend seem cool, but you refuse to ever tell him that. The ego boost it would give him would be insufferable.

“So, where to now?” he asks as you hop in his ride. He turns the ignition, the sporty engine rumbling to life. 

“I should be heading home, actually,” you reply. His smile drops slightly for a moment, but he shakes it off.

“Already?” he protests, but he shifts the car into gear and takes off. 

“I have to go to dinner with my family for my grandpa’s birthday.”

“Oh, nice,” he responds, but you can tell he’s a bit disappointed.

The rest of the ride is mostly silent, but not in an awkward way. That’s one thing you appreciate about Jeonghan - hanging out with him is comfortable enough that you don’t feel obligated to make small talk. 

The car rolls to a stop as you arrive at your house. Although you live only a few houses apart, Jeonghan insists on driving past his home to drop you off in front of yours. “Don’t want you to get lost,” he always jokes.

“Wait,” Jeonghan calls out as you go to open the car door. You pause, hand on the door handle, as he pulls a cassette tape from the pocket of his cutoff jean shorts. Weird, considering that he normally just tosses his cassette tapes onto the dashboard, where they live until he brakes too hard and some of them slide off and land on the floor. He extends his hand to you, prompting you to take the tape.

“What is this?” you ask as you reach for the plastic case.

“A cassette tape,” he answers matter-of-factly. You whack him on the arm; he gives you a big grin.

“Alright, fine. It’s a mixtape.”

You look down at the clear case. On the paper insert, you see a tracklist - written neatly with a ballpoint pen. You recognize Jeonghan’s handwriting.

“What’s this for?” you ask, turning your head to look at him again. He shrugs.

“Just because.”

You stare at him for a moment. You’ve known Jeonghan long enough to know he doesn’t do things just because. You scan his face for a hint of ulterior motive, but he seems genuine. 

“Oh,” you finally say. You’re still confused, but you don’t want to come off as rude, so you give him a soft smile. “Thank you.”

“Sure thing,” he replies coolly, his eyes lingering on you. Several more seconds of silence pass. He looks like he has something else to say, but he doesn’t. The car suddenly feels way too small.

“Okay, well, see ya later!” you say quickly as you pop the door open and hop out onto the sidewalk. Jeonghan gives you a wave as you shut the door - you turn around and quickly head inside.

Heading up to your room, you take a look at the tape again. Every song on the tracklist is one of your favorites. How did he know I like all of these? you ponder. You grab the Walkman sitting on your desk and go to insert the tape, but you pause. For some reason, it makes you nervous, as if listening to it will force you to think about your feelings about Jeonghan…

Shaking your head, you set the Walkman down, placing the cassette case on top of it.

Later, you tell yourself. I’ll listen to it later.

brrrrriiiiinggg

The sound of the telephone resonates through your headphones, bleeding over your music. You pause the tape and slide your headphones down onto your shoulders, listening to it ring a couple times before somebody elsewhere in the house picks up the line. A few seconds later, you hear your mom shout from downstairs.

“Y/n! It’s for you!”

You reach for the phone across your desk and pick up the receiver.

“Hello?” 

“You’re back from dinner?” you hear Jeonghan ask.

“Well… Duh. How else would I be answering the phone?”

“Good,” he continues, disregarding your sarcastic comment - a rare occurrence for him. “Meet me at the playground in 15 minutes.”

“What? Why-” but the line clicks as he hangs up. Confused, you stare down at the receiver for a minute, the sound of the dull, steady tone filling your ears. You place the handset back on the base, jumping off your bed and grabbing your sneakers. You take a moment to shove some pillows under the covers before turning the light off. Quietly, you open your bedroom window and squeeze yourself out onto the roof, carefully stepping onto the branch that leads to the treehouse in your backyard. You climb down its ladder and drop to your feet silently upon the grass. You sneak out the side gate and head toward the neighborhood playground a few blocks away. 

As you arrive, you see a figure with familiar long dark hair sitting on one of the swings. Your feet crunch on the gravel as you walk over to join him, making him turn his head.

“Hey,” you say as you sit on the swing next to his. 

“Hey,” he replies. 

Your toes brush against the ground beneath you, further displacing the gravel that has already been cleared away from swing usage. The light wind against your back pushes you slightly; you let yourself drift back and forth. You look at Jeonghan, waiting for an explanation.

“So?” you prompt. “What’s up?”

He bites his lip, staring off into the distance as he thinks over his words for a moment. Shaking his head, he looks back to you, eyes locking with yours.

“I like you.”

He says it so nonchalantly that it takes a few moments for you to register what he just said.

“What?” 

“I like you,” he repeats. “Like, like like you. More than just a friend.”

Dumbstruck, you stare at him, lips parted ready to respond, but words escape you. Truthfully, you’re not even all that surprised by what he said - but his directness threw you for a loop.

“And I need to know how you feel, or I’m gonna lose my marbles.”

“I…” you start, but your words trail off as your mind wanders, thinking a million miles a minute.

“Even if you don’t like me back,” he adds. “We can still be friends and I’ll never bring it up again. Or if you don’t want to still be friends, I’ll respect that. I just have to know.”

“You’re right, we shouldn’t be friends anymore.” You can see his heart sink, but before he can say anything you reach over and grab the chain of his swing, drawing him toward you.

“I mean, we shouldn’t be just friends anymore.”

His face is close to yours, so close; you watch as the gears turn in his head, your words finally clicking. His eyes light up, a big cheeky grin spreading across his face.

“You little…”

You giggle, then lean in and kiss him.

🖭 Track 04: What I Like About You – The Romantics 

🎶 Tell me I'm the only one / Wanna come over tonight, yeah

[1983, Fall - Senior Year]

The crowd erupts in a roar of cheering as the home team scores a touchdown, or so you presume. You’re currently a bit busy, making out with Jeonghan under the bleachers.

He stops kissing you for a second, his hand resting on the back of your neck as he locks eyes with you.

“Should I give you your birthday gift now?” he inquires, his lips pressing lightly against your nose. 

“That tickles!” you giggle, pushing him away playfully, but he quickly draws you back into his arms.

“You already gave me my present, dummy,” you remind him, referring to the new Star Wars Lego set he gave you three days ago on your actual birthday. You’d had your eyes on it for a while, but it was expensive, so you were planning to save up for it, but he knew how badly you wanted it and decided to surprise you. 

“I gave you one of your presents. But I have another one,” he informs you.

“You really didn’t have to get me anything else.”

“Hey, you only turn eighteen once,” he says with a shrug.

“Alright then, what is it?” you ask, smiling at him cutely.

“Can’t tell you.”

You wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t.

“Ooookay…”

“I have to show you.”

He grabs your hand, dragging you back toward the hole in the fence where you snuck into the bleachers.

“C’mon, let’s blow this popsicle stand.”

He takes you back to his car, driving out of the stadium parking lot into the dark night. He drives for a while, winding down various backroads, taking you god knows where.

“Are we there yet?”

“Not yet.”

You wait a few seconds before pestering him again.

“How about now?”

“Patience, babe.” He reaches his right hand over, resting it on top of your thigh. Your stomach flutters - it’s not like this is the first time he’s touched you like this, but something about it feels different tonight.

The trees seem to get more and more dense the further you drive. You trust your boyfriend, but it’s still a little spooky. Eventually, he pulls up to a clearing, shifting the car into park. You look around, but you still don’t see anything but trees.

“We’re here!” he says cheerfully. You stare at him suspiciously.

“And where exactly is ‘here’?” you inquire, but he’s already hopping out of the car. He makes his way over to the passenger side, opening your door and offering his hand. You take it, letting him help you out of the car, but you’re still a bit wary. He laces his fingers between yours, dragging you along into the trees. 

“Watch your step,” he tells you as you come across a large tree root protruding into the path. As you step over it, you hear rustling up ahead, accompanied by the faint smell of smoke.

“Jeonghan…” you whisper nervously.

“Almost there, darling,” he responds, looking at you fondly. You see a break in the trees ahead - as you approach, you hear the soft splashing of water, and the orange glow of a bonfire comes into view.

“The lake? Why are we at the la-”

“SURPRISE!!!!!!” 

You jump, startled by the choir of voices shouting at you all at once as the familiar faces of all your friends pop out all around you.

“SHIT,” you scream, instinctively clinging to Jeonghan. He laughs, wrapping his arms around you and drawing you into him. You whack him in the stomach, but a big grin spreads across your face.

“You did all of this? Just for me?”

“Just for you,” he replies, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

Music starts to blare from a boombox as your friends swarm around you, hooting and hollering as the party begins. Somebody hands you a beer; Jeonghan has also acquired one - he raises his bottle to yours with a clink.

“Happy birthday, y/n.”

The party goes late into the night. Jeonghan had thought of everything: snacks, pizza, beer, balloons, and even smores. You sit around the bonfire, roasting a marshmallow and chatting with the few remaining partygoers - most people had headed out by now, it was almost midnight after all. 

“Hey,” Jeonghan speaks softly as he appears next to you, scooting in close and wrapping his arm around your waist. 

“Hiii,” you say, the big goofy grin on your face giving away that you’re decently buzzed right now.

“How was the party?”

“It was perfect,” you tell him, laying your head on his shoulder.

“Good,” he replies proudly. “I’m glad you liked it.” His fingers raise to your chin, lifting your face up toward him, planting his lips on yours in a soft kiss. As he draws his head back, a smirk grows upon his face.

“What?” you ask.

“Your marshmallow is on fire.”

Whipping your head back toward the bonfire, you see the giant marshmallow at the end of your stick engulfed in flames.

“Oh fuck!” 

Giggling, he takes the stick from your hand and pulls the blackened sugar remnants out of the heart of the fire, shaking it a bit until it extinguishes.

“Man,” you pout, “I was looking forward to eating that.”

“Here, I’ll get you another one.”

Several lightly toasted marshmallows later, the last of your friends start to roll out. Seungcheol and Jeonghan put out the now-dwindling bonfire, the lakeside going dark in the absence of the flames. Everybody packs up, saying their goodbyes and driving off back into town. Finally, it’s just you and Jeonghan remaining. You start to head to his car, but he doesn’t follow.

“You coming or what?” you call, taking his hand, but he pulls you back toward him. 

“Wanna do one last thing?” he asks, a smirk growing upon his face.

“Oh god,” you groan, looking at him skeptically. “What are you up to now?”

Saying nothing, he bolts off back toward the lake.

“Hey!!” you shout, jogging after him. He peels his shirt off as he speeds off, tossing it aside, running onto the old dock protruding out into the dark water. He reaches the end, unbuttoning his jeans and sliding them off, along with his socks and shoes in one fell swoop.

“Jeonghan Yoon, what the hell are you doing?!”

Standing there buck-ass naked, he looks back at you over his shoulder. He gives you a devious grin, then dives into the lake.

He surfaces as you reach the end of the dock, his long dark hair laying drenched against his face. He sweeps his hair back out of his face, eyes wide with rushing adrenaline.

“You coming in? The water’s nice!” he hollers, treading water to stay afloat.

“Is it really?” you ask, reaching down to dip your fingertips in the water.

“No, it’s fucking freezing,” he tells you truthfully, laughing like a maniac. Sure enough, the cold instantly stings against your skin as you drag your hand across the surface.

“You’re out of your mind,” you yell as he swims out further into the lake.

“Here, I’ll turn around. I won’t even look.” Sure enough, he twirls around in the water, facing away from you. 

“That’s not why… Jeonghan it’s cold!!”

“It’s not so bad once you get used to it,” he shouts, barely audible as his voice carries across the lake. “I promise.”

You think about it for a moment. Fuck it, you decide. You take off your shoes and clothes, all the hair on your body standing up in the chilly air. Slowly, you slip your bra and panties off, crossing your arms over your cold breasts. You step up to the edge of the dock, your toes hanging off the wooden plank, staring down into the pitch black water beneath you. Your mind races, but you know if you stand here thinking about it much longer, you’ll talk yourself out of it. Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes and jump.

The frigid water hits your skin like knives as you plunge into the lake. You kick your legs, hurtling yourself back up to the surface. You gasp as you break into the night air once more, starting to doggy paddle to keep yourself afloat. 

“Yeah!!!” you hear your boyfriend cheer in the distance. You spot him as he starts swimming back, water splashing calmly around him as he glides toward you. He swims directly into you, throwing his arms around you and kissing you.

“Hey, I’m trying to stay afloat here you moron!” you shout as you push him away, but you’re laughing along with him. His gaze locks onto yours, the corners of his eyes crinkling with a huge smile plastered across his face. 

You’re drenched, you're frozen, and you don’t even really like swimming in the first place. But here, tonight, with Jeonghan - you’ve never felt more carefree.

[1984, Winter - Senior Year]

“Babe, you awake?”

You open your eyes to Jeonghan’s ceiling. The sound of the newest Rush album playing on the stereo had apparently lulled you into a trance; you sit up on his bed, looking over at your boyfriend reclining in the large navy beanbag across the room. He’s laser-focused, eyes on the small television as he controls his Atari joystick.

“Hm?” you ask sleepily.

“I was asking if you were awake,” he repeats, smiling as his eyes are still glued to the screen. “But you answered my question for me.”

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to ignore you,” you tell him, stifling a yawn. “I was just really relaxed.”

The game gives a series of upbeat beeps and boops to indicate victory. Jeonghan sets the joystick down and turns the console off, getting up and making his way over to you. You scoot over on the bed to make room; he plops down, curling up beside you.

“So,” he starts, placing his arm gently around your waist, tracing his fingers along your side. His parents are gone for the weekend, so you finally get to spend some quality time together - alone.

“What do you wanna do now?”

You roll onto your side, situating yourself even closer to him, your body pressed against his. A smile slowly creeps onto his face. His hand lifts to your cheek, fingertips brushing against the soft skin lightly, making your heart flutter. He leans in, planting a delicate kiss upon your lips; your hand snakes around his waist, clinging to the side of his shirt as you kiss him back. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you in tight before pulling you over on top of him. The kiss breaks as you giggle; you gaze down at him, locking onto his dark brown eyes. Slowly, he slips his hands underneath your shirt, watching you carefully to make sure you’re okay with it. You grin at him, pressing your lips to his again. He grasps onto your skin, pressing himself against you as closely as possible as he makes out with you. He slides his hands further up your shirt, fingers grazing over the band of your bra. You stop kissing him for a moment; he looks up at you concernedly, nervous that he’s gone too far. You sit up, legs straddled around him, reaching for the hem of your top and slowly lifting it up and over your head. His eyes widen, staring at your body as you discard the shirt on the floor. He pulls his own shirt off, tossing it away, eyes still locked on your breasts. His hands trace up your stomach, eyes nearly bugging out his head as he slowly squeezes his hands over the cups of your bra, smiling like he’d just won the lottery. You lean back down, tucking your head next to his, lips hovering right next to his ear.

“You can keep going,” you whisper.

He reaches around your back, fingers finding the clasp of your bra and giving it a soft tug. With a snap of release it unhooks, straps slowly slipping off of your shoulders. Suddenly he flips you over, pulling the garment off as he rolls on top of you. He presses his hips into yours, admiring the sight of you. You reach for his belt, tugging gently on the waist of his jeans. He lets out an excited giggle, a huge grin spreading across his cheeks. Barely more than a whisper, he utters into your lips as he goes to kiss you again.

“I love you.”

🖭 Track 05: Tainted Love – Soft Cell 

🎶 Once I ran to you (I ran) / Now I'll run from you

[1984, Spring - Senior Year]

“Jeonghan!” you call out cheerfully, waving to your boyfriend from the schoolyard bench as he exits the building - but he keeps walking. You assume he didn’t hear you, so you sling your backpack over your shoulder and hurry after him. As you approach you see he has headphones on, his Walkman clipped to his belt. You tap him on the arm, making him nearly jump out of his skin. He rips his headphones off, turning around at a startling speed.

“Oh,” he says when he sees your face. “It’s just you.”

“Glad to see you too,” you tease, expecting him to laugh back, but he just gives you a small, seemingly-forced smile. 

“You okay?” you inquire, slightly concerned.

He hesitates for a moment, then shakes his head.

“Yeah no, I’m fine,” he says, fiddling with the headphones in his hands. “I was just zoned out. Sorry.”

“That’s okay,” you reply warmly. He doesn’t make eye contact, staring just past you instead. Your smile fades. You don’t know what, but something is up with him - and for whatever reason, he doesn’t seem to want to tell you about it. Not your favorite thing in the world, but you decide to drop it for now.

“So,” you start, changing the subject. “Seungcheol told me you got into NYU, I didn’t even know you applied! When did you find out?”

“Oh yeah. I got the letter, um… about a week ago.” He mumbles the end of his sentence as he glances down, suddenly very interested in his shoelaces. 

“A week ago?” you ask with genuine surprise. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t get the chance to yet,” he replies, but you both know it's a terrible fib.

“What do you mean? We were hanging out all weekend, dummy,” you say in a lighthearted tone, nudging him in the arm. But you are a little hurt to find out that he was keeping that information from you.

“I just… didn’t think of it,” he tells you. He runs his hand through his hair, giving you a sheeping smile. “Sorry babe,” he adds.

“Soooo…” you prompt, but he doesn’t answer your unspoken question. 

“So… what?” 

“Are you going to accept it?”

“Oh. Um, well I suppose I have to think about it.”

“Oh.”

You had talked casually about college numerous times, of course. You are seniors after all, it’s the only thing on everyone’s minds at this point in the school year. But all your conversations were had with the assumption that you were both going to Columbia - something you had both been planning on for years, even before you started dating. Since when had Jeonghan had a change of heart? Relax, you tell yourself. Just because he was accepted doesn’t mean he’s going to go there. But a sinister hunch lurks in the back of your mind.

He’s going to a different school because he’s planning to break up with you.

You force yourself to stop. You know you shouldn’t make any assumptions without at least talking to him first. But standing here, right in front of the school on a random Tuesday, doesn’t feel like the right place to have that conversation.

“Well,” Jeonghan pipes up before you can say anything else. “Speaking of the devil, I have to go meet Seungcheol. Says he needs me to fix his computer.” He gives you a cocky smirk. “Bet you five bucks it’s just not plugged in.”

He gives you a quick one-armed hug with a kiss on the cheek.

“Catch you later.”

“See ya,” you respond quietly, but he’s already walking off toward the parking lot.

The beefy Mustang engine roars to life as Jeonghan turns the ignition. He reaches for the first cassette he sees, inserting it into the tape deck and cranking the stereo volume. A melancholic tune blasts from the speakers as The Smiths begin to play, causing him to frown. As much as he likes this song, he doesn’t really want to listen to “Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want” right now. But he doesn’t have the energy to search for a different tape right now, so it is what it is.

He stares out into the schoolyard, mindlessly watching some jocks throw a football back and forth. But they evidently get bored of that and head over to the group of cheerleaders, a couple of the girls practically throwing themselves at their boyfriends - one couple even starts to make out right there, tongue and all. Jeonghan grimaces, throwing the transmission into reverse and quickly backing the fuck out of the parking spot.

The drive home consists of more sad songs and too much thinking. He knows he should have told you about the letter sooner. He was waiting to find the right time, the right way to say it - but he should’ve known better than to tell Seungcheol if he wanted to keep it a secret. He didn’t blame Cheol, because he hasn’t even told his best friend yet that he has to break up with you.

A car honking snaps him out of the pensive trance he didn’t realize he had entered. He glances up at the stoplight, discovering that it had in fact turned green. He shifts the car into gear and takes off, trying to think about literally anything else - but he can’t get his mind off of you. He is painfully aware that he’s being a fucking idiot. He’s in love with you. Hell, he can’t think about the future without you being there - but that’s the whole problem. Because as wonderful as you are, he simply doesn’t believe you feel the same way about him. He’s convinced himself going to college with you will only end up with you realizing that you can do so much better than him.

And that’s why he has to end things before you have the chance to break his heart.

[two weeks later]

The beating sun reflects off the sidewalk, hurting your eyes even as you sit on a shaded bench. It’s not particularly hot, but the cloudless spring day sure is making you wish you had brought some sunglasses with you. You close your eyes, slumping further into the bench as you wait. And wait. And wait. But Jeonghan doesn’t show. 

Maybe he just genuinely forgot, but that’s what you thought the first time. And the second time. But this is the third fucking time he’s stood you up. You had a suspicion he’d been avoiding you, and by now he’s all but confirmed it.

Finally, you detect the familiar rumble of a Mustang engine approaching. You open your eyes, spotting the blue vehicle speeding into the parking lot. Its brakes squeal to a stop as the driver pulls up in front of the mall entrance. Sighing, you get up and shuffle over to the car, flinging the door open and plopping into the passenger seat. 

“You’re late.”

“I’m sorry,” Jeonghan mumbles. You see him looking at you sheepishly out of the corner of your eye, but you don’t meet his gaze.

“You’re really late,” you say coldly, staring out the window at nothing. “What’s your excuse today?”

“I just lost track of time-”

“I’ve been waiting for you for AN HOUR,” you shoot back, turning your head to face him. “I could have walked home by now!”

He looks down, resting his hand upon the stick shift.

“I feel really bad, y/n, I’m really sorry.”

“That’s what you said last time,” you mutter, crossing your arms.

Sighing, he shifts the car into drive and takes off.

“Do you still want to go grab a bite?”

“I already ate. I want to go home.”

The drive back to your street is silent, with only the radio humming at a barely audible level. He pulls up in front of your house; you go to exit the car, but he reaches out for your arm.

“Wait,” he says softly, his fingers brushing against your skin. “Please.”

You look back at him - the apologetic look on his face is sincere, but that doesn’t make you any less upset.

“Jeonghan, you can’t keep doing shit like this. You’re acting like you don’t even want to be around me anymore.”

“No, babe, that’s not true-”

“Did I do something?”

“What?” he questions. “No, no you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then why are you acting like this?”

“I…” he sighs, staring back at the steering wheel. He shakes his head, his words trailing off. You wait for him to say something - anything - but he doesn’t.

“Fine,” you exhale, exasperated. “Call me when you’re ready to actually fucking talk to me.”

You throw open the car door, slamming it shut and storming off into the house. Your lip quivers, eyes watering as frustration swells in your chest, but you swallow it.

Jeonghan stares after you until you disappear through the door. He drops his head, burying his face in folded arms against the steering wheel. With a groan, he drives the remaining couple hundred feet and parks in his own driveway. He cranks the stereo up, “Love Will Tear Us Apart” blaring through the speakers - perhaps the worst possible song to be playing right now. He lets out a haughty laugh at the irony, laughter quickly turning into tears spilling from his eyes. 

Nice going jackass, he chastises himself as anger wells within him. You’ve really fucked this up now. 

Inside your bedroom, you throw yourself on your bed. You stare off into space, but there’s too much shit in your peripheral vision around the room that reminds you of him. You roll over, shoving your face into the pillow, letting out a dejected groan.

You don’t know what to do, so you just let yourself cry.

🖭 SIDE B coming soon - sign up for the taglist here

[ taglist: @miniseokminnies @kyeomiis @tinycatharsis ] 

[swizzlemynizzle]

Underneath the Noise - George Clarke

———————————————

Masterlist

Chapter Nine: Just a Little Closer

———————————————

The late afternoon sun cast long shadows over the pitch as Y/N laced up her boots, nerves fluttering in her stomach. She glanced around at the assembled group—familiar faces from the Chaos Goblins, and a few she’d only ever seen through a screen.

Harry was already messing about with Chris, smacking a football into Bach’s back and pretending it was an accident. Ethan was mid-laugh, his booming voice carrying across the field, while Tobi warmed up with effortless precision. Theo Baker jogged past, offering her a friendly smile that she tried not to over-analyse.

She swallowed. These guys were massive. Millions of followers. Viral content. A whole other level. And here she was, adjusting her shin pads and trying not to freak out.

“Don’t overthink it,” George said, appearing at her side like he always did at the right time. “You’ll be better than half of us anyway.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You haven’t even seen me play.”

“I’ve seen your Rocket League streams. Football’s the same thing, just... legs.”

She snorted. “You’re an idiot.”

“An observant idiot.”

The teams were split to mix them up, keeping things fair but competitive. Y/N found herself alongside Harry, Tobi, and Bach. Chris shouted commentary while ATV tried—and failed—to keep track of the score. The cameras rolled from every angle, but soon the nerves melted into adrenaline.

Turns out, she was holding her own. Maybe better than that.

She slipped through defenders with surprising control, knocked a clean assist to Tobi, and even scored a scrappy goal that made everyone cheer. It was messy, chaotic, but she wasn’t invisible. She wasn’t just the guest tagging along. She belonged.

During a water break, Harry flopped beside her on the grass. “Alright, be honest,” he said between gulps. “Were you secretly semi-pro or is this just beginner’s luck?”

She laughed, wiping sweat from her forehead. “Trust me, I peaked in Year 9 PE.”

“Well,” he said, pushing his hair back in that signature flustered way, “you’ve definitely got me trying harder. Can’t have you outshining me.”

She looked at him, caught off guard by the low-key flirtation. “Was that... a compliment?”

“Dunno. Might’ve been.” He winked, just slightly crooked. “You’ll have to replay it later and find out.”

Her cheeks burned despite herself.

From the sidelines, George’s gaze flicked over. He hadn’t missed the interaction.

“Alright, lovebirds,” Chris yelled. “Get back on the pitch!”

Y/N stood, brushing grass from her shorts. As she ran to rejoin the game, George jogged up beside her.

“You and Harry seem to be getting along,” he said lightly, not quite looking at her.

She glanced at him. “He’s nice. Bit crazy.”

George made a noncommittal sound, then sprinted off ahead. She wasn’t sure what to make of it.

After the match—filmed, loud, brilliant—they all sprawled on the grass eating snacks and making plans.

“We’re doing dinner, right?” Chris asked, already texting a group chat.

“Yeah, I’m starving,” Ethan replied.

Y/N hesitated. George caught the look. “Come. You earned it.”

“Okay,” she said. “As long as no one records me trying to cut a steak.”

“I make no promises,” Theo grinned.

They ended up at a nearby pub with a back garden, everyone crowded around two picnic tables pushed together. The energy was still buzzing—inside jokes forming, food passed around, and the occasional Harry one-liner that made the entire table wheeze.

Y/N found herself seated between George and Tobi. George didn’t say much, but when her drink ran low, he replaced it without a word. When she laughed too hard at something Theo said and bumped his arm, he didn’t move away.

Later, when the group started splintering off—some heading home, others to film extra bits—George caught her outside by the railings, hoodie tugged over his head.

“Want me to walk you back?” he asked.

“Sure,” she said, warmth blooming in her chest.

They walked in the cool evening, trainers thudding gently on pavement. The city was quieter now. Just the low hum of traffic and the occasional dog barking in the distance.

“Thanks for convincing me to play,” she said.

“Told you you’d be great.”

“I forgot how much I liked it.” She paused. “And the whole thing with Harry—”

George glanced over.

“—he’s funny. I like him. But…”

“But?”

“He’s not why I had fun today.”

That stopped him in his tracks.

She turned to face him, their steps slowing to a halt. “It was being part of it. Being with you guys. With you.”

His eyes held hers, a little more open than usual. “You’re part of it now. Whether you believe it or not.”

Something about the way he said it made her heart knock against her ribs.

She stepped a bit closer.

And then—

“Y/N! George!” Bach’s voice came from up the road. “Come on, the Uber’s leaving!”

They both jumped, stepping apart instinctively.

Y/N laughed, flustered. “Saved by the bell.”

George ran a hand through his hair, smiling despite himself. “One day we’ll get a quiet moment.”

“I’m not betting on it.”

He reached out, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Still. Worth waiting for.”

She didn’t reply. Just smiled, soft and warm.

As they turned to rejoin the group, his hand brushed hers. And for the first time, she didn’t pull away.

—-

Taglist

@madforgeorge

@wherethezoes-at

@sundarksposts

@clarkey4life

@edgyficuselastica

——

If this gets enough traction I’ll post the next one too xx

[lastchancestardomm]

【 TF2 SHIP NAMES 】

I'm trying to make this list as thorough as possible, so I'll always take suggestions to expand it. Tell me if there are any typos or mistakes.

Credit to tiny-freakin-head, gailqueenoffire, electrospanz, and a handful of other users for this list of names. Other resources are Fanlore and this Steam guide.

Ship names in bold are the most common name. Uncommon ships will not be given an official name.

Ship names in italics were invented by one of the previously mentioned users or myself.

SCOUT

Scout/Scout — A Headache, Brats 'n Bats, Scoutcest, Marathon, Quickie, Bats 'n Balls, Gay Chicken, Double Play

Scout/Soldier — All American Offense, Batting Helmet, American Baseball, American Idiots, Swift Justice, Yankee Doodle, Dog Tags, Dumb Boys, SollyScout

Scout/Pyro — Flash Fire, Weenie Roast, Fast Flames, PyroScout

Scout/Demoman — Hop Scotch, Speedy Bombs, Drunk Marathon, DemoScout

Scout/Heavy — Heavy Hitters, Heavy League, Mice and Men, Hard to Hit, Fat Man Little Boy, HeavyScout

Scout/Engineer — Quick Study, Texas Two-Step, Scatterbrains, Run 'n Gun, Sharp Shooter, Top Gunners, EngieScout

Scout/Medic — Blunt Trauma, Quick Fix, Little Prick, Bratwurst, Speedy Recovery, MedicScout

Scout/Sniper — Speeding Bullet, George Washington Clipart, Coffee 'n Cola, Quick Scope, Little Boys, SniperScout

Scout/Spy — Daddy Issues, Silent Running, Seduce Me, Cloak and Batter, Little Wine, Sour Grapes, Thin Boys, SpyScout

SOLDIER

Soldier/Scout — All American Offense, Batting Helmet, American Baseball, American Idiots, Swift Justice, Yankee Doodle, Dog Tags, Dumb Boys, SollyScout

Soldier/Soldier — Sollycest, Rockethoppers, Screaming Eagles, Team Rocket, Boyfriend Bomb, Wings of Glory

Soldier/Pyro — Fireworks, Fourth of July, Huttah Huddah, Hot Rockets, Soldiering Iron

Soldier/Demoman — Boots 'n Bombs, Bottle Rockets, Big Boys

Soldier/Heavy — Red Soldier, Cold War, Red Scare, American Communism, Crock Block, BBQ Ribs Sandvich, Massive Retaliation, Bigger Boys

Soldier/Engineer — Helmet Party, Rocket Science, American Engineering, War Machine

Soldier/Medic — Fruit Scones, American Healthcare, Ethics Violation, Liberty Cabbage, Rocket Surgery, SoldierMedic

Soldier/Sniper — American Aviators, Piss-Fueled Rockets, Mutually Assured Destruction, Direct Hit

Soldier/Spy — Freedom Fries

PYRO

Pyro/Scout — Flash Fire, Weenie Roast, Fast Flames, PyroScout

Pyro/Soldier — Fireworks, Fourth of July, Huttah Huddah, Soldiering Iron

Pyro/Pyro — Huddah Huddah, Pyrocest, Twin Flames, Ring of Fire, Eternal Flame, Heart Burn, Not Boys

Pyro/Demoman — Firebomb, Molotov Cocktail, Flaming Shots, Flashbang

Pyro/Heavy — Toasted Sandvich, Hot 'n Heavy, Bear Grill

Pyro/Engineer — Texas Toast, Three Rubber Gloves, Firetrucks, Fire Forged, Molten Metal, Erecting The Flames of Passion

Pyro/Medic — Cauterizer, Burn Ward, Hot Pocket, Roasted Dove

Pyro/Sniper — Bush Fire, Campfire, It Burns When I Pee, Piss Unicorn, Hot Shots, Flaming Arrow

Pyro/Spy — French Toast, French Fried, Spyro, Burns 'n Backstabs, Paris is Burning, Cooked Crab, Gentle Warmth

DEMOMAN

Demoman/Scout — Hop Scotch, Speedy Bombs, Drunk Marathon, DemoScout

Demoman/Soldier — Boots 'n Bombs, Bottle Rockets, Big Boys

Demoman/Pyro — Firebomb, Molotov Cocktail, Flaming Shots, Flashbang

Demoman/Demoman — Double Dynamite, Democest, There Can Be Only One, 20/20 Vision, Dominatening

Demoman/Heavy — Red Bombs, Black Russian, Big Bang, Vodka Party, Soviet Bomber, Punch Drunk, Spiked Punch, DemoHeavy

Demoman/Engineer — Short Fuse, Brains 'n Bombs, DemoEngie

Demoman/Medic — Scotchtoberfest, Jaegerbombs, DemoMedic

Demoman/Sniper — Piss Drunk, Swordvan, Bloody Drunk, Kaboomerang, Explosive Shots, Jazz Band

Demoman/Spy — Bomb Voyage, Scottish Wine, Detonators 'n Daggers

HEAVY

Heavy/Scout — Heavy Hitters, Heavy League, Mice and Men, Hard to Hit, Fat Man Little Boy, HeavyScout

Heavy/Soldier — Red Soldier, Cold War, Red Scare, American Communism, Crock Block, BBQ Ribs Sandvich, Massive Retaliation, Bigger Boys

Heavy/Pyro — Toasted Sandvich, Hot 'n Heavy, Bear Grill

Heavy/Demoman — Red Bombs, Black Russian, Big Bang, Vodka Party, Soviet Bomber, Punch Drunk, Spiked Punch, DemoHeavy

Heavy/Heavy — Heavycest, Russian Front, Giant Men

Heavy/Engineer — Heavyneer, Heavy Metal, Brains 'n Brawn, HeavyEngie

Heavy/Medic — Red Oktoberfest, Heavy Medicine, Birds 'n Bears, Beaux & Arrows, Doves 'n Bears, Needles and Knuckles, HeavyMedic

Heavy/Sniper — Vegemite Sandvich, Vodka Shots, HeavySniper

Heavy/Spy — Spoovy, KGBrie, Iced Wine, Russian Roulette, Red Gauloises

ENGINEER

Engineer/Scout — Quick Study, Texas Two-Step, Scatterbrains, Run 'n Gun, Sharp Shooter, Top Gunners, EngieScout

Engineer/Soldier — Helmet Party, Rocket Science

Engineer/Pyro — Texas Toast, Three Rubber Gloves, Firetrucks, Fire Forged, Molten Metal, Erecting The Flames of Passion

Engineer/Demoman — Short Fuse, Brains 'n Bombs, EngieDemo

Engineer/Heavy — Heavyneer, Heavy Metal, Brains 'n Brawn, HeavyEngie

Engineer/Engineer — A Little More Gun, Engicest, Hoe-Down, Ram Ranch, Brokeback Mountain, Math Club, Engineering Majors

Engineer/Medic — Science Party, Glasses and Goggles, German Engineering, Bioengineering, Smart Boys, Genetic Engineering

Engineer/Sniper — Trucks 'n Vans, Outback Steakhouse, Rifle Upgrades

Engineer/Spy — Napoleon Complex, Practical Espionage, Knives 'n Knowledge, Reverse Engineering, OuiHaw, EngieSpy

MEDIC

Medic/Scout — Blunt Trauma, Quick Fix, Little Prick, Bratwurst, Speedy Recovery, MedicScout

Medic/Soldier — Fruit Scones, American Healthcare, Ethics Violation, Liberty Cabbage, Rocket Surgery, SoldierMedic

Medic/Pyro — Cauterizer, Burn Ward, Hot Pocket, Roasted Dove

Medic/Demoman — Scotchtoberfest, Jaegerbombs, DemoMedic

Medic/Heavy — Red Oktoberfest, Heavy Medicine, Birds 'n Bears, Beaux & Arrows, Doves 'n Bears, Needles and Knuckles, HeavyMedic

Medic/Engineer — Science Party, Glasses and Goggles, German Engineering, Bioengineering, Smart Boys, Genetic Engineering

Medic/Medic — Double Dosage, Medicest, Doppelgänger, Emergency Room, Doktoberfest

Medic/Sniper — Bush Medicine, Vanbulance, Urine Sample, Head Over Heals, Hearts 'n Headshots

Medic/Spy — Poison Dagger, Covert Operations, Gentle Surgery, Spinal Tap

SNIPER

Sniper/Scout — Speeding Bullet, George Washington Clipart, Coffee 'n Cola, Quick Scope, Little Boys, SniperScout

Sniper/Soldier — American Aviators, Piss-Fueled Rockets, Mutually Assured Destruction, Direct Hit

Sniper/Pyro — Bush Fire, Campfire, It Burns When I Pee, Piss Unicorn, Hot Shots, Flaming Arrow

Sniper/Demoman — Piss Drunk, Swordvan, Bloody Drunk, Kaboomerang, Explosive Shots, Jazz Band

Sniper/Heavy — Vegemite Sandvich, Vodka Shots, HeavySniper

Sniper/Engineer — Trucks 'n Vans, Outback Steakhouse, Rifle Upgrades

Sniper/Medic — Bush Medicine, Vanbulance, Urine Sample, Head Over Heals, Hearts 'n Headshots

Sniper/Sniper — Snipercest, Two Aussies One Jar, Necklace-o-Teeth, Twice the Shot, Piss Play, Shoot First

Sniper/Spy — Great Barrier Thief, French Kisses Down Under, Bloody Suit, Hide and Seek, Knife Party, Stick Figures, Bon Wee, Spyper, Sni

SPY

Spy/Scout — Daddy Issues, Silent Running, Seduce Me, Cloak and Batter, Little Wine, Sour Grapes, Thin Boys, SpyScout

Spy/Soldier — Freedom Fries

Spy/Pyro — French Toast, French Fried, Spyro, Burns 'n Backstabs, Paris is Burning, Cooked Crab, Gentle Warmth

Spy/Demoman — Bomb Voyage, Scottish Wine, Detonators 'n Daggers

Spy/Heavy — Spoovy, KGBrie, Iced Wine, Russian Roulette, Red Gauloises

Spy/Engineer — Napoleon Complex, Practical Espionage, Knives 'n Knowledge, Reverse Engineering, OuiHaw, EngieSpy

Spy/Medic — Poison Dagger, Covert Operations, Gentle Surgery, Spinal Tap

Spy/Sniper — Great Barrier Thief, French Kisses Down Under, Bloody Suit, Hide and Seek, Knife Party, Stick Figures, Bon Wee, Spyper, Sni

Spy/Spy — Spycest, En Doublè Baguette, Double Agents, Cloak and Dagger, Information Sellers

OTHER SHIPS

Scout/Miss Pauling — Prom, Ride-Along, Scoutling, Swing and a Miss, Boston Legal, Caught Looking

Scout/Merasmus — Cosmic Atomic

Scout/Saxton Hale — Batmann

Scout/Fried Chicken Girl — Bucket of Chicken, Winged Chickens

Soldier/Merasmus — Magic Missiles

Soldier/Miss Pauling — Launch Codes, Lock-On Missiles, SollyPauling

Soldier/Zhanna — Maggot Bear, Russian Raccoons, East Meets West, Ear Necklace

Pyro/Miss Pauling — Childish Wonder, Pyrauling

Pyro/Merasmus — Crematorium

Demoman/Miss Pauling — Lavender Thistle, Ordained Demolition, Papers 'n Pipe Bombs, Alcohol Intervention, Buzzkill, DemoPauling

Demoman/Merasmus — Blind Fate

Demoman/The Administrator — Deministrator

Heavy/TFC Heavy — Russian Front

Heavy/Merasmus — Come Back Stronger

Heavy/Miss Pauling — Brains 'n Brawn, HeavyPauling

TFC Heavy/TFC Pyro — Molten Steel, Heavy Smoke, Classic Toasted Sandvich

Engineer/Miss Pauling — Square Dance, EngiePauling

Engineer/Merasmus — Summonin' Up A Sentry, Magic of Science

Medic/Miss Pauling — Spectacle Psychopaths, Medical Assistant, Doctor Assisted Homicide

Medic/Merasmus — Healing Magic

Medic/TFC Heavy — Cold Oktoberfest

Medic/Satan — Infernal Medicine

TFC Medic/TFC Heavy — Heal and Steel

Sniper/Saxton Hale — Blowing the Sax

Sniper/Bronislava — Koala Bear, Snapshots

Sniper/Sniper's Kangaroo Wife — Australian Zoology

Sniper/Maggie — Outback Affair, Saxton's Bane

Sniper/Merasmus — Rain of Jarate

Sniper/The Administrator — Australium Smoke

TFC Sniper/TFC Engineer — Classic Trucks 'n Vans

Spy/Miss Pauling — Double Agents, Papercuts, Partners in Crime, Shared Cyanide, Spyling

Spy/Scout's Ma — Pornography Starring Your Mother, SpyMa, Polaroid Collection, Dysfunctional Parents

Spy/Merasmus — Barpo Invisium

Miss Pauling/The Administrator — AdminPauling, Purple Office

Miss Pauling/Fried Chicken Girl — Hits 'n Misses

Miss Pauling/Scout's Ma — Plain Awkward, Top Secret

Miss Pauling/Zhanna — Gay Awakening, Bear and Mouse

Saxton Hale/Bidwell — Saxwell

THREESOMES

Medic/Sniper/Spy — Support Sandwich, Support Squad

Demoman/Engineer/Heavy — Defense Debauchery, Defense Squad

Pyro/Scout/Soldier — Offense Orgy, Attack Squad

If you want to see the rest of the threesomes ships, go here: TF2 Threesome Ships.

OTHER THREESOME SHIPS

Heavy/Medic/Heavy — Heavy Medicine

Scout/Sniper/Scout — Super Speedy Bullet, Two Bonks and a Piss Up

Scout/Sniper/Miss Pauling — Ready Steady Go, Expiration Mate

Demoman/Sniper/Tentaspy — Swordfish, Australian Drunk Tentacles

Sniper/Saxton Hale/Maggie — Australiancest, Australianfest

Soldier/Demoman/Zhanna — Boots 'n Bombs 'n Brawn, Soft and Round

Soldier/Demoman/Merasmus — Boots 'n Bombs 'n Black Magic

FOURSOMES (OR MORE)

Engineer/Spy/Heavy/Medic — Practical Red Oktoberspionage

All of the Mercs (excluding Scout) — Strike Out

All of the Mercs (excluding Spy) — Napoleonic Bias

All of the Mercs — Meet the Team, Merc Party, Merc Pile

[coyotemaximum]

i'm insane. rubber rats and such. here's my thoughts on who the reds and blues would main in tf2 vs whose place they would take in a potential au. spoiler: they ARE different. and also i'm not making the au, but if you wanna do it feel free to use this as a guideline.

disclaimer: i'm a walking tf2 encyclopedia... for the lore and comics. i HAVE played it of course, but i'm by no means an expert on strategy and such, so contesting my knowledge on that end is more than welcome.

RED TEAM

Grif

Main: jumps around a bit, but always comes back to heavy because he's got high health and decent damage rates. mostly follows simmons around because no one wants to fuck with the battle medic. that being said, he CAN hold his own (he's actually REALLY good at the game) and watches simmons' back like a hawk. and his other teammates' too i guess (silly).

Place: heavy. big dude, cares for his family, wouldn't be doing this in an ideal world. also he deserves a big gun. RIP the grifshot.

Simmons

Main: as mentioned, he'd be a battle medic, and a fucking TERRIFYING one at that. definitely puts a lot of time into it, and it absolutely pays off. has one of the best k/d ratios purely because he's just fucking going for it. it looks like luck but every second is strategized to an embarrassing degree. this makes him feel powerful. god forbid someone kill grif, because he'll hunt them down for the rest of the match.

Place: medic. he deserves to be unhinged. we've all seen how he is on the warthog turret.

Sarge

Main: soldier. he's got rocket jumping down to a perfect science. he is defying gravity. he has discovered some sort of secret technique to perfectly optimize speed and distance while minimizing damage. he will never tell anyone what it is and he will show it off at any chance for the rest of time. thus, he never fucking plays any other class.

Place: soldier. there is nothing to be said that hasn't been said already.

Donut

Main: this one's tough actually. i think he'd flip between pyro, demo, scout, and soldier. he likes the fast-paced gameplay, and is pretty decent at all of them.

Place: scout! he's got a hell of a throwing arm! i'd be willing to bet he was in little league as a kid. i could have better reasoning but i had to switch him when i switched tucker.

Lopez

Main: engineer. it's familiar, trying to keep things fixed and running while a bunch of idiots run around and fuck things up. can often be seen rancho relaxing next to at least 2 fully-upgraded sentries like 30 seconds into the match.

Place: engineer. same reasons, same play style.

BLUE TEAM

Church

Main: good god, he tries to main sniper, but he's so fucking bad at it. gets backstabbed all the fucking time. he's too stubborn to stop. to his credit, though, he's pretty damn good with the melee and smg.

Place: sniper. again, he's not GOOD at sniping, but he's good enough with the subweapons that he qualifies.

Tucker

Main: probably scout. he likes being fast and annoying. it's not really that deep LMAO. i think he plays like me: running directly into the line of fire and just trying to hit as many people as possible before dying. a tried and true strategy. unfortunately, as such, his k/d ratio is impressively terrible.

Place: demoman. initially i wanted to place him as scout, but then i thought about eyelander and the energy sword and it won me over because i love eyelander. i think he'd try to demoknight and be really bad at it GHSJASKHGSA.

Caboose

Main: listen to me. you can put him in any class and he'll kick fucking ass. he has every perfect strategy mapped to muscle memory or something. he's a fucking enigma. no one can beat him. if caboose is on your team, you are almost guaranteed a win.

Place: pyro. it's the whimsy.

Kai

Main: i think she'd main spy purely so she can cloak and watch everyone else run around like idiots. occasionally she gets a kill in, but that's mostly when they stumble close enough to her. she can be very efficient when she wants to be, but mostly she's here for the drama. she has a screenshot folder of grif and simmons doing gay shit. it's... massive.

Place: spy. she gets to serve cunt, be bisexual, and kill people. what more could a girl want???

MISC

Disclaimer: Locus and Felix do not have a place to take due to a lack of main-enough characters. Sorry!

Wash

Main: look at me. i think wash is exceptionally bad at most of the classes. he does his best, but they just escape him. he's pretty good with pyro, but he sees pyro as overly easy with little challenge (no offense to caboose). against all odds, i think he's best at engineer, and surprisingly good at it! usually he follows lopez around (because lopez knows what he's doing), but about half the time he'll be on his own and tentatively killing it.

Place: ms pauling. in season 10, he mostly follows carolina around, dragging the reds and blues with him and following the majority of her orders. remind you of someone?

Carolina

Main: also tends to jump around, but prefers support classes. she'll join whichever team she thinks needs the most support at the time. half the time she'll be on the sidelines, cloaked and watching her idiots fuck around.

Place: the administrator! she's the most properly take-charge of all of them. i'd imagine she inherited the position from the director.

Doc

Main: medic, what did you expect? he's surprisingly good at offense, but prefers to stick to healing. in the event of an o'malley switch, he battle medics. he's not good at it.

Place: merasmus. he deserves wizard powers.

Locus

Main: spy. suits his style PERFECTLY. will occasionally play sniper if needed. absolutely cracked at both even though he says he doesn't play video games (this is a lie).

Felix

Main: he doesn't play tf2 because he thinks the people who play it are annoying nerds. this being said: probably either scout or sniper. scout when he feels like being an asshole, sniper when he feels like actually being efficient. either way he gets to show off.

[momo-minomo]

Hey momo!

Ok I have some more bat lore / comic questions that may or may not have relevancy to future chapters or future fics. In no particular order:

What offensive capabilities does the Robin motorcycle have (and does it have a specific name)?

How does Tim meet Kon and the other core four?

How does Tim’s whole training with lady shiva thing go down?

Do we ever see what Dick was up to on the off world mission he was on when Jason died?

I included links to where you can read or glance over the comics I'm referencing for free if you want to, btw! Feel free to ask me anything if you have more questions, I love this stuff lol.

What offensive capabilities does the Robin motorcycle have (and does it have a specific name)?

The Robin Motorcycle (it doesn't really have a special name, though it's occasionally called the Robincycle) is essentially a Robin-themed Batcycle, so it has all the capabilities of the Batcycles. These days all of the Batfamily members have one painted and styled to match their vigilante persona. They're designed first and foremost for high-speed chases and the pursuit of criminals so they're extremely fast and agile with jet boosts to jump over obstacles, additional grapple lines to grab onto any vehicles they might be pursuing, trackers to tag a vehicle and follow them, communication equipment and computer (Dick once left a Batcycle at Babs' place and it annoyed the heck out of her broadcasting a message for her to call Dick Grayson), can produce smoke clouds to conceal itself, has autopilot, can stop itself if riderless, and usually has some backup equipment to replace what they use in the field. It handles just as well off-road as it does on-road. I'm kinda surprised Tim never gave it a special name since he called his Robin car Redbird and even had a tricked-out skateboard with jet-boosts called the Redboard.

I don't know of any comics-specific offensive abilities beyond that, though the games and movies have certainly taken the idea and run with it. Usually if they need a vehicle with more firepower they'd use one of the cars or planes. Knowing the Bats though, if you want to add things to their cycles like spike strips to take out tires or rocket propelled nets or whatever it wouldn't be out of character. Comics writers tend to add whatever gadget is needed for that issue to their vehicles or belts anyway.

How does Tim meet Kon and the other core four?

Tim first meets Kon in Superboy/Robin: World's Finest Three. Metallo (super dangerous Superman rogue, a huge robot with a human brain and a kryptonite heart) decides Gotham is a safer target to focus on than Metropolis so he attacks while Batman and the Justice League aren't available. Tim knows he can't take it on alone so Alfred suggests he call Superboy, instead, since at least Tim would have an Super helping him. Kon is living in Hawaii at the time (being taken advantage of by a conman and groomed by adult women ugh), when he finally gets the message Robin sent and rushes to Gotham to stop him. Eventually Superboy takes out Metallo and then Robin returns the favor by saving Kon from Poison Ivy when he was an idiot and kissed her. Kon was hot-headed, stubborn, and way too focused on his looks and girls. Tim was obsessively serious, focused, and no-nonsense so the two fought like cats and dogs at first lol.

He met Bart in Robin + Impulse when he was on a mission to recover some stolen military computer at a ski resort. He went with some friends and Alfred under the cover of it just being a trip with his friends and Bart was already there on a class trip. At one point Robin was pinned down and about to be killed by gunfire so Bart zooms into costume and back in time to save him. Tim immediately recognizes him as being Bart by how big his feet and floofy his hair are lol. They track the bad guy down to an old military base where he hacks into NORAD and orders a nuclear strike on Russia. Tim saw the password for the computer was a combination of 3 numbers, 2 letters, and 2 numbers but not which ones. They only had a few minutes but Bart was able to superspeed through trying all trillion combinations and land on the right one.

Tim, Bart, and Kon teamed up for the first time in JLA: World Without Grownups when all the adults in the world are wished away and they have to team up and figure out what's going on and how to save the grown ups. The boys worked really well together and decide to camp out in Mt. Justice, the old abandoned headquarters for the JLA and Bart comes up with the name Young Just Us as their team name since this was the only place they could just be themselves without all the disapproval or expectations of their Justice League mentors.

Tim, Bart, and Kon all met Cassie in Young Justice #4 when she, Arrowette, and Secret all joined the group. Cassie had a huge crush on Superboy back then and when Secret (A girl Tim, Bart, and Kon had previously saved from government experimentation and lied to the Justice League to protect in Young Justice: The Secret) asked for her help getting to Robin, Superboy, and Impulse she jumped at the chance to meet him. Once there, though, Secret revealed that the group that had imprisoned and experimented on her had a bunch of other kids, too. She'd found where they were keeping them and asked for their help freeing them. Cassie agreed to help and Young Justice: The Secret Files #1 is them going on that first mission together.

Afterward, well she was new to being the 2nd Wondergirl after the legend that is Donna Troy passed the name down to her and feeling like she didn't measure up. Being with a bunch of teens who ALSO felt crushed by the pressures of being a teen hero in the shadow of their predecessors gave her a place to belong. And she still had that embarrassing baby crush on Kon lol.

How does Tim’s whole training with lady shiva thing go down?

Comic: Robin (1991)

It was just after his mom died and his dad was in a coma. He felt like he wasn't good enough to really be the partner Batman needed. Bruce set it up that he would study with one of the martial art masters he'd studied with, a man named Rahul Lama. He wanted Tim to learn empty-handed combat, meditation, and healing. Tim only got to spend a few weeks there before he ended up saving the life of an man name Clyde who was about to be beaten to death by a gang called the Ghost Dragons. The gang was run by a man called King Snake who's known as the most dangerous man alive. Lady Shiva is one of the most deadly fighters on the planet but she's constantly searching for someone good enough to fight and kill her. She was hoping King Snake would be the man good enough to do it and was investigating him to try and set up a 1 on 1 battle when she spotted Robin saving Clyde. He was rough and needed a lot of work, but she could see he had immense potential and recognized him as being Batman's newest partner. She used to be a part of the League of Assassins and is one of Batman's original teachers (though he never could beat her) and she decides to take Tim under her wing in hopes that THIS student could be the one that surpasses her.

They find out that King Snake has a manufactured plague and is out for their blood for interfering. Tim, Clyde, and Shiva go on the run together while trying to track King Snake down together. Shiva offers to train him and Tim knows he needs to be way better if he's going to take on King Snake or his gang so he accepts. She has Tim choose a weapon to learn and because the Bo staff was the least lethal option, that's what he chose. The first time he beats her he does it by being clever. He cut a hole in the top of his bo so it whistled when he swung it and it distracted her just enough to give him the advantage. During this time he also learns to fight without relying on his eyes. King Snake is blind and likes to face his opponents in completely blacked out rooms where they'll be off-kilter and he's in his element.

When they finally face King Snake, Clyd runs off to confront him alone and is dead by the time Tim gets there. Tim beats King Snake in the pitch-dark room using his whistling staff as a distraction. King Snake is dangling off the edge of a 50-story building and Shiva demands Tim kill him. Since Tim is her student, her weapon, his kill is still hers and it will be the next step in his training. Tim refuses but doesn't interfere when Shiva kills him herself. Tim finds out from an undercover officer about a shipment King Snake sent to Gotham and he's there to intercept it. He then takes up his place at Batman's side

The entire time all this happened Batman, Dick, and Alfred had no idea Tim was in danger. They all thought he was still safe in Paris with Rahul Lama lol. In true Tim fashion he only gives a report after the fact. Shiva shows back up occasionally still calling Tim her "little bird" to test him and make sure he's still living up to being one of her greatest students and always hoping this time she can convince him to fight hard enough to kill her. He beats her every time using his brain rather than pure martial skill and always refuses to play by her rules but he does respect her a lot. At times during his training she was almost motherly, calling him 'little bird', brushing his hair out of his eyes, and almost gently trying to get him to not be "naive" about the world. She's weirdly more motherly with Tim than she is with Cass, her own blood daughter.

Do we ever see what Dick was up to on the off world mission he was on when Jason died?

Not in the Batman comics, but yeah. Just before Jason found out that the woman who raised him, Catherine, wasn't his birth mother his friend and teammate Donna Troy (The original Wonder Girl and one of the OG Titans) was going through the New Teen Titans: Who is Donna Troy? storyline (I can't for the life of me remember which issues this all started in but it was during the New Teen Titans run.). Donna was an orphan who had no idea of her own past but during events with the Titans she found out some information that she could find out who she was and where she was from on a planet called New Chronus. Since she and Dick considering each other to be siblings in all but blood and he's a damn good detective she asked him to help her investigate her origins. Jason called and left messages for Dick, hoping to ask for advice before Dick left, but he'd already left Earth and didn't return until a couple months after Jason died. He had been close enough that Bruce COULD have contacted him and told him what happened and he'd have rushed back to attend the funeral, at least. But Bruce was so caught up in his own pain that he never even contacted him. Dick found out his brother was dead and he'd missed the funeral by months second hand when he landed.

It's kind of a horrible irony that Dick and Bruce were doing the same damn thing (helping a loved one investigate their origins) on opposite sides of the galaxy. The difference is that Dick always put the people he loved before duty so he was there for Donna when everything went wrong. Bruce left Jason with his birth mother Sheila to go be Batman for a bit and it got Jason killed.

[avatarskywalker78]

OC Re-introduction - Tia Everton

Tia was always fascinated by how things worked - from the old-style technology still seen in museums to the most modern, up-to-date machines available to the public. Once she was old enough to be trusted with tools and small parts, she loved taking something apart to see how it worked and it wasn't long before a desire to be the person to develop new technology took root - and it was at Virginia Polytechnic she was able to complete a degree in mechanical engineering at just twenty years old, smashing her grades and so good at what she did it wasn't long before she went freelance.

This was how she first met Sheridan Ó Séaghdha, after being hired by Mercury Aerospace to work on one of their aircraft, and it wasn't long before they became friends - the other woman was very different, far more outgoing and social opposed to Tia, who generally prefers to be in the company of machines than people, but she was friendly and open, and in any case just as enthusiastic about technology given she's normally flying experiment versions of it, so knows the importance of keeping up to date with things, and Tia's worked for Mercury a few times since, appreciating the fact they take their business seriously and don't take shortcuts.

It was through Sheridan that she got to know the Tracy Clan and she gets along with most of them, but of the five brothers she's closest to Virgil, drawn to his sensitive nature and creativity, and loves to watch him paint or listen to him play whenever she visits the island. Of course, she worries about all her friends because she knows they're all trained as a pilot - she much prefers to have her feet on the ground when at all possible, thank you very much (exceptions being when her friends have been seriously injured and she needs to get somewhere quickly...but even then only if someone she trusts is flying the damn thing) - but as with Sheridan she accepts it's part of their life.

These are the broad strokes of her life. The picture they're becoming? Depends on the universe you're in ↓

Thunderbirds 1965

Although Tia's speciality is geared towards land-based vehicles, she's worked on her fair share of aircraft too, and she's helped several of Mercury's into the sky over the last three years. Though she hasn't yet had the chance to work on the Starfinder programme, she marvels at the feat of engineering it is and has no doubt that the others will be a success too. These days it seems to be a running theme - despite the 'no photographs rule' it's still very clear the Thunderbirds are on a whole other level and very clearly what the world needs.

They're also something of an antidote to the many examples of very poor engineering indeed she sees on the news these days - just take the Martian rocket, for example, what genius thought that system up - none of which really helps with the anxiety regarding the safety of her friends. Sure, only Sheridan's still an active pilot but even just going about your life isn't any guarantee of safety these days. If it's not a natrual disaster it's some idiot with a bright idea, no regard for safety and a complete lack of common sense.

Tia tries not to let it worry her too much, but this is easier said than done - especially when she's been in love with Virgil Tracy for the better part of a year and he's already been involved in one crash that she knows about (even if she doesn't know the exact details). She doubts it'll go anywhere, because he's way out of her league and could have any woman he wanted, no matter what Sheridan seems to have convinced herself (and Gordon, lord have mercy) of, and besides, she's busy helping to create new technology that won't go terribly wrong because someone fucked up, which means there won't be any lives put in danger because of it, and that's the bigger priority here. She's able to deal with it most of the time and at least the Tracys aren't throwing themselves headlong into danger...

Only sometimes danger seems to find her people anyway - this is proven when Starfinder One is sabotaged and only saved thanks to the efforts of International Rescue. It's a terrifying situation even once the group responsible have been brought to justice, and there's something Sheridan's not telling her, only she can't for the life of her figure out what, and she knows perfectly well no amount of asking will ever yield an answer - her friend's always been good at keeping secrets, after all.

It's only after another incident months later she finds out, and the revelation sends her reeling as she realises just how many times she came close to losing her friends - to losing Virgil - without ever knowing the true circumstances behind it.

And initially she doesn't deal with it very well at all...

Thunderbirds Are Go

Though Tia doesn't consider herself an expert by any means, space travel being more common means she still has a good knowledge of how spacecraft work, and she first met Sheridan after being hired to work on Starfinder Two. She's been contracted by them several times since, and keeps up-to-date on their programme as they move into more experiemental power sources, like the proton-fusion engines currently running in Starfinder Four, and enjoys working for them because of their strict safety standards - in a world that produces such idiots like Langstrom Fischler (who she would cheerfully strangle if she ever got her hands on the wretched man), it's heartening to see a company run by someone who genuinely gives a shit.

Of course, she's worked on plenty of her own independent projects too that for the most part have been successful, but ironically, for all her misgivings about aircraft and worry over most of her friends being pilots, she's the one who's had to call out International Rescue a few times when things have spiralled out of control - so far there's been the desert vehicle that fell into a sinkhole (caused by illegal mining), the SUV that blew up on a dummy test run and caused a landslide (after a supplier she thought she could trust cut corners), and the satellite that nearly wiped out a village after being struck by a meteor, not to mention the the automatic jungle tracker that malfunctioned and zipped off into the Amazon, never to be seen again (even they couldn't find that.)

Mostly, though, things work out (even if she has to remain vigilant for wannabe supervillains like the Hood and whatever fucking idiots he's convinced to join him), and she always strives to maintain her friendships, even though she often doesn't see people for months at a time. Mostly she has meet-ups with either Sheridan or Virgil, the latter of which has led to much speculation in the tabloids over the years - which is almost but not quite as hilarious as the speculation over Sheridan and John that's been buzzing ever since it leaked that the two roomed together at Harvard, and none of it's ever bothered Tia since she's only ever seen the man platonically and it's going to stay that way, if you don't mind.

(She'd love to say she gets along with all the Tracys, but unfortunately that's not the case ever since one hell of an argument with Scott years ago during Gordon's recovery after he flung an unfounded accusation at Sheridan and she, John and Gordon himself leapt in to defend her when she was stunned into hurt silence - it took Virgil, Kayo and Grandma Tracy to break it up, Sheridan's not set foot on the island since, and Tia doesn't trust him outside of a professional setting.)

None of this means she doesn't worry, especially when life itself can be unpredictable - nowhere more so than space, when the tiniest thing going wrong can lead to utter disaster, so when Starfinder Four is hit by an unexpected meteor strike with the risk of the core destabilsing and vaporizing everything within a ten mile radius (namely the people on board the goddamn ship) it looks like her worst fear is about to come true....

Tagging (let me know if you want to be added or removed): @shrinkthisviolet @starstruckpurpledragon @janetm74 @call-me-casual @lenle-g

[majesticaldiscomfort]

We only have a few hours to convince everyone who hasn't voted yet to go and do so.

I'm going to write a few animation scripts below. I can't animate all of them myself, so all I ask is that we crowd source them.

If you upload one to YouTube, please reblog it below so that we can make them viral.

Undertale themed

Undyne, Monster Kid

(Undyne) "You know what PISSES ME OFF? When people GIVE UP before the fight is even over. You had a chance, why waste it?! Don't give up, idiot, your chances of failing go to 100% the minute you stop trying. To the humans in the Unites States, you had BETTER vote today, or I won't ever spar with you. I don't want to spar with a quitter."

(MK) "Yes ma'am!... I tried to salute, but I don't have arms."

(Undyne pats their head)

Papyrus, Sans

(Papyrus) "I like playing Rocket League, I get to make my own cool skelecar and play soccer with new friends. It makes me sad, though, when my friends give up and leave me behind to face the other team alone. When we still have time to turn things around, it makes me sad when my teammates throw away that opportunity. To the humans in the United States, please don't throw your opportunity away. You have so much potential, and seeing all of you give up will make me sad..."

(Sans) "Yeah, don't make my bro sad." *Intimidating glare*

Frisk, Chara, Toriel

(Frisk) "Have determination. Vote, no matter what anyone else says."

(Chara) "Orrrr... you could eliminate the competition. You don't need a gun to do that, after all..."

(Frisk, comedically angry expression) "Don't FUCKING kill people."

(Toriel) "FRISK! Watch your language."

(Frisk) "Sorry mom..."

(Toriel) "But Chara, I agree. Don't fucking kill people."

(Chara) :(

Mettaton, Alphys

(MTT) "Do you have any idea what they'll do to me if they gain power?! I don't fit human standards for gender, they'd scratch my paint! And I don't want them to mess up my hair."

(Alphys) "Mettaton, I'm not sure that'd be the worst of your worries."

(MTT) "What could possibly be worse than having my hair ruined?"

(Alphys) "...Being smashed to bits by the police for gender ambiguity?"

(MTT) *Stares in shock at Alphys, then slowly turns to face the camera* "Humans, please vote. I'm too gorgeous to die."

Steven Universe themed

Note that I haven't seen most episodes of this, so my lore knowledge is limited. I encourage you to reblog with more scripts related to this.

Garnet (fused and unfused)

(Ruby, to Sapphire) "I don't want to be separated from you again."

(Sapphire) "Don't worry, we'll never be kept apart again."

(Ruby) "How can you be so sure?! The humans are fighting themselves to decide who will be in charge, what if the ones who want to protect us don't vote?!"

(Sapphire) "Ruby, I don't need my clairvoyance to know that the humans who genuinely care will do their due diligence to keep us together. After all..."

(Garnet) "We are stronger when united. Love overpowers all. Make yourself heard at the polls."

Adventure Time themed

I unfortunately had to stop keeping up with the series when I got overwhelmed with my school work back in 2014, so I'm not caught up on about half of the lore. Feel free to reblog with additional scripts.

Marceline, Princess Bubblegum

(PB) "AARRGHHH!! How can these people be SO incompetent?!"

(Marceline) "Bonnie, what has you so worked up?"

(PB) "I'm reading this ancient history book, it's hard to say how old it is but apparently there was a semi-democratic nation that relied on some crappy system called an "electoral college" to choose their leader. I don't care about the system so much since I'm a monarch anyway, but come on! These guys had an obvious pick for leader, but everyone apparently just assumed that all their friends would vote and that they wouldn't need to, resulting in the WORST possible guy getting the job. He ended up driving the nation into ruin, and I suspect this may have been what led to the great Mushroom War."

(Marceline) "I mean, if that war hadn't happened, would we have met? Would you even exist?"

(PB) "Ugh, yeah, probably not. But these people! Glob! Didn't they have any sense of self-preservation?!" *Angrily slams book on counter* "All they had to do was VOTE! Their demise was entirely preventable and they chose THEIR COUCH! AGGGHHHH"

If you have any more recommendations/scripts, feel free to reblog them.

[balletwatchespokemon]

Indigo League Episode 19

Today we have what I think is our first city wrecking disaster episode, it's focused on Tentacool and Tentacruel, and Misty catches a pokemon! I really like this episode! I seem to enjoy the disaster episodes pretty well usually, and this one's great.

Hah, theses idiots missed the ferry. Relatable though, I’ve missed a ferry before and it’s always pretty annoying.

Poor Horsea! He got a boo boo. (His Japanese name is Tattu which is super cute.) I appreciate that he's trying to warn everyone about the danger, but I'm more impressed by his ability to draw anything that's at all recognizable in water.

Wow, an explosion that has nothing to do with Ash! Such a rarity.

I feel this would make a great out of context screenshot.

The bad guy of this episode has an entourage of guys who are just there to be pretty. Very girlboss of her even if I don’t really like her.

Misty is waxing poetic about how cute Tentacool are and Ash is NOT having it.

Get it Pikachu! What a spoiled boy.

What a normal thing to own, just an entire tank.

I love how Ash has to climb on someone to see here. *Points at him* Short!

This is just like that video of someone on a paddle board going over a frightening amount of jellyfish.

Another Giant Pokemon! The pokeani knew what they were doing, this is sick. (Also, that's Team Rocket the Tentacruel is holding there to give you some idea of scale.)

Early Pokeani sure did love their guns.

Look at all of this destruction, someone definitely died here even if they don't say anything about it.

The scared lines on Pikachu make him look a little more fuzzy than they usually animate him to be. <3

Meowth being able to speak human is so convenient for when they need the humans to be able to understand the pokemon.

Poor Butterfree, no way is it comfortable for his little bug wings to be carrying a Pokemon larger than him. And how is Zubat even carrying Squirtle? He looks glued on.

I love Misty in this episode, she's very passionate about her love for water pokemon, she was great as the focus of the episode.

Goodbye! Thanks for wrecking the city, looked very cool.

So pretty! I love that we're looking at the sunset along with the gang here (that's them on the boat).

Misty catches the Horsea and engages in some light plagiarism. (Hbomberguy is coming for you Misty.)

Pokeani does sunsets so well.

What a great disaster episode, on Friday we're getting a little bit haunted!

[duskstarshit]

(yay someone I can bounce Geeta HCs off of without them calling her weird or weak or evil!!!!!!)

Do you think that for all the gym leaders and staff know she does a lot of work they don't realize just how much she does? Until something happens? Like imagine she's halfway through a league meeting with the gym leaders and E4 and she suddenly just drops and everyone is panicking and confused and then she just blinks awake slowly and they're like what happened are you okay?!?! And she just goes...oh...thats normal I just haven't eaten in four days and my blood sugars low. Anyways back to what I was saying-

And one of them (like the one who is confirmed to have kids/grandkids Ryme or dad friend Kofu) just flip demanding to know why she hasn't eaten in that long as someone grabs her something to snack on until she can eat and Geeta just...starts going through what she's done in the last four days. Like a meeting with the school board, meeting with the government, had to subdue a Titan Pokemon that got too close to a town, investigate a paradox pokemon breakout, nother meeting with government, investigate the rumors of team rocket or plasma or whoever trying to get into Paldea, subdue them, and she just lists like a whole bunch of stuff? And the gym leaders slowly feel their eyes bulging cause *what the hell Geeta please sit and eat and take care of yourself* but Geetas like oh I can go another day and a half without food before it's serious now let's finish this meeting I'm due at the school in an hour.

Geeta is very out spoken about her not eating well because of her work so her thinking this kind of stuff is normal is in character for her.

(God i wish i had her in Pokemas, im waiting for a rerun i need herrrrrr)

I would not be surprise at all if she just randomly faints in a meeting with the Gym Leaders or even with the Champions! (Who probabily already knows why she fainted and have tell her multiple times to not overwork herself)

This idiot is an hypocrite because, one of my coworkers/students/or just anyone is not eating because of their work?? Nonsense! You should not do that! But me doing so its fine because this work is important and i must take care of Paldea.

People love to say Larry is overworked but totally ignore the fact Geeta also overworks herself.

At this point Rika would have to tie her up in a chair and just open Geeta's mouth like a Muppet and just incert the food.

Rika probabily has also gone behind her back to give Geeta's work to someone else just so her wife can have an off day, which probabily leads to an small argument but Rika doesn't care about what Geeta thinks about it because "you have an stupid amount of off days you have not used so i will make you used them and im gonna cook for you no matter what you say."

[duckapus]

Me: can we please actually write something for one of my Pokemon Anime AUs for once?

Brain: Ben 10 crossover time fuck you.

Anyway AU where Ash is the wielder of the Omnitrix and Pikachu is also the wielder of the Omnitrix but for animals.

But isn't that just the Neme- Azmuth made a second Omnitrix for nonsapient species fuck you and your idiot crab.

Because Pokemon are a weird grey area they're in both databases, because it would make more sense for them to be in the Omnitrix wielded by an actual Pokemon but given that Meowth, most Legendaries and Alakazam exist they also absolutely have to be considered sapient.

The capsule drops in the woods just outside of Pallet Town about a month before the Journey begins

Pikachu's Omnitrix messes with Pokeballs so he's technically wild but between the fact he can't be caught and Professor Oak manually inputting his information into the League Files to avoid potential issues everyone assumes he's Ash's and nobody in the know sees any reason to challenge that assumption.

Delia, Oak and Gary are all in the know because they were there that night.

As always, first actual Villain is Animo. You'd think that having Pokemon to work with instead of ordinary animals would give him an advantage but then you remember that everyone else has Pokemon too.

Professor Oak and Agatha used to be Plumbers

Gary may or may not be part alien as a result and I might give him an Omnitrix knockoff for the sake of The OG Rivalry.

Team Rocket takes forever to figure out that Ash and Pikachu are the alien heroes who keep wrecking their plans.

Other Nintendo franchises are canon but only as other planets so I can use their species to fill out the roster. And occasionally include guest cameos.

Ash's Starting Playlist

Magmacho (Diamont) (from metroid)

Eatle (Oryctini)

Snaptrap (Mawile)

Upgrade (Galvanic Mechamorph)

Footstool (Goomba)

Dyrt (Unknown Species) (sea serpent but it swims through the desert)

Ghostfreak (Ectonurite)

Smashimi (Picene Cornobblite) (fish man with giant fists and super strength)

Goop (Polymorph)

Astrodactyl (Unknown Species)

Pikachu's Starting Playlist

Icknition (Vellix’s Sulfuric Glomeba) (flaming goo creature. smells bad)

Saber-Dupe (Panuncian)

Banana Beard (Tropius)

Micromutt (Pikmin Series Dog)

Enigmaw (Scarfy)

Terroranchula (Unknown Species)

Glaciersaur (Sheegoth) (also metroid)

Moledozer (Pyroxovore)

Psyche Out (Lucubra)

Spit-Take (Octorok)

[nixalegos]

🔥🔥🔥

I think its fucking stupid how much Blizzard has steamrolled the Light into a singular human-centric mcnothing. Elune worship, whatever the fuck the Draenei's and Lightforged worship now looks like, is it a militant ceremony not unlike the space marines of 40k? An'she for the Tauren. How does Lothraxion pray? What does a Sin'dorei prayer service even look like. What can one expect when a member of the Lok'osh give blessings to a wedding ceremony? Does it make a DEGREE of sense its all starting to congeal into a homogenous one truth for all mass? Kinda. Yeah. I guess. It's just annoying.

I truly hope that wow NEVER FUCKING EVER brings a tinker/tech/mech class into the game. Its so fucking dull and boring. It's an npc's job. It's an excuse to have a nameless mook in a dungeon as a boss. What is it REALLY going to add that doesnt already exist with the engineering profession? A jetpack? some fucking cheesey ass iron man knock off tank cooldown? Oh oh, let me guess! Rocket turrets like fucking heimerdinger from league of legends! te-fucking-he. Just roll a hunter, make them an engineer, tame some robo-dogs. Boom. Theres your precious tinker class you idiots. It even already has bombs.

Oh the void. What did they DO to you. If I have to read one more drabble from Blizzard about the void whispers telling people how they're actually hated by their friends and family, how they're going to fail everyone, Im going to FIND the colour out of space and replace Blizzards breakrooms with it. I -want- whispers that are ALMOST understandable, but just not the right tongue. I want noise that goes and drones on and on AND ON and prevents sleep to the point people are injuring themselves to unconsciousness in an attempt to shut it out. I want it to show images of places that feel so close to deja vu you can't be sure it wasn't a place you have been, that you'll be again. That you're meant to be at. I want it to LET its victims understand how cosmically insignificant it is in comparison to all of creation, I want sensation of tendrils in their mind that the cold terrible truth is that it knows you'll struggle anyway, and in its alien detachment, can't even work up the attention to pity us and our fruitless struggle. I DO NOT WANT IT SPEAKING COMMON IN OUR HEADS. I DONT WANT IT TO BE BARTERING WITH US TO JOIN THEIR TEAM AND SOUNDING LIKE TIK TOK WHITE WOMAN ANXIETY AT ALL OTHER TIMES. THE MOMENT A COSMIC FORCE HAS TO PAY ATTENTION TO US MORTALS, HOWEVER MINUTE OR INSULTINGLY, IT DEMEANS ITSELF.

Thanks @mothervvoid!

[indigoportal]

BNHA Characters that I like, despite having the relevance of a white crayon- The Volcano Thieves.

Look at these idiots, I love them.

These characters have never shown up in My Hero Academia outside of, to my knowledge, A Japanese Arcade Cabinet, the BNHA Card Game, and Horikoshi's Sketches, despite that, I still think these idiots are amazing; because they feel like My Heroes version of The Shocker from Marvel: Career Criminals who probably have never killed someone, though they would also probably be surprisingly powerful if they actually tried. They just want to steal yen and fight strong heroes, almost like professional wrestlers without the ring.

• Maguma Iwata/Volcano

- Probably feral and hotheaded.

- Likely started the Volcano Thieves because he was bored of being a Civilian and didn't want to be a Hero.

- Looks like he's the most objective focused of the team.

- Strong as fuck, loves posing.

- Would surprisingly be the brain cell holder of the group.

• Konako Haizono/Dusty Ash

- Feels like she would be the "Nami" of the group.

- Good at planning heists and escaping, bad at dealing with her teammates.

- Spends most of her cut of laundered money on lotion and moisturizer, considering her ash quirk dries her skin out.

• Tsumuji Kazetani/Gust Boy

- Youngest member of the group for sure.

- His name, "Gust Boy", was definitely chosen by the News, he will never get away from it.

- Is actually super strong despite looking like Daffy Duck, considering his Fan quirk lets him make tornadoes if he wants to, for a full minute no less!

These guys would be perfect for an OVA starring the lesser utilized 1-A Students, because any episode with them wouldn't feel like it has heavy stakes, they aren't connected to the League, Yakuza, or the MLA, they just want to steal, like a Team Rocket with superpowers.

[downs1de-has-moved]

Wilson let out a sigh of frustration. When it came to House, he could be a bit of a pushover. But even his best friend could push him a little too far. They were a pair of idiots who left their lives behind.

"House-- can you please do your dishes?" And yet the life they'd led as roommates followed them still. Even here, under new names in a new life where they could be themselves and no longer have who they were hanging over their heads. There were remnants of who they were at their core.

"I’m a little busy right now!"

House has to raise his voice for more reasons than one. First, the kitchen is two doors away from the man-cave House had fought Wilson to make out of their guest room (he had won the argument by pointing out that they would have no guests, as they had left all their friends behind).

Secondly, and as is often the case, the TV is way too loud, and he doubts Wilson will be able to hear him if he speaks in his usual tone over the revving engines and the thumping of soccer balls as he plays Rocket League for the third consecutive hour that night.

"And what are you calling me House for?! It’s Steve now!"

[the-hittite]

It's him.

The Scourge of Boston.

The Overboss of the Raiders.

The Scout from Team Fortress Two.

Gameplay notes under the cut.

Alternate start mod required if at all possible to avoid creating a nightmarish timeline in which Scout has procreated.

Strength 1. We live and die by Scouts tiny baby noodle arms. Once I got the Strength bobblehead I could start putting points into Big Leagues.

Perception can be anything. The only perk you really need is Rifleman and you can get the bobblehead basically immediately. You can maybe put points into it for things like Refractor but I never ended up doing that.

Endurance is tricky. To really drive home the fragile Scout theme you want low health, but Endurance also determines how long you can sprint. Personally I went for 7 END because lack of armor on a close range build was already a challenge and I desperately wanted Adamantium Skeleton and Rad Resistance.

Charisma 1. Self Explanatory.

Intelligence 1. Self Explanatory.

Agility 10. Self Explanatory and perks like Moving Target and Action Boy are must haves.

Luck at least 5 for Idiot Savant. You probably want it higher for Better Criticals and Critical Banker. They're incredible with a double barrel shotgun.

Clothing and hats/helmets can be worn as long as they fit the aesthetic or match an existing cosmetic (army helmet, scribe hat, etc.) Armor pieces can only be added if they apply the Sprinter's legendary effect. Damage resistance perks are acceptable since they function basically the same as MVM resistance upgrades.

Medical emergencies can be dealt with by paying a doctor or sleeping it off. In the heat of combat your only options are to either run off to find a first aid kit and immediately consume the entire contents whether you need all of them or not (preferably right before a burning Medic can get it) or by downing a Nuka Cola variant. Radiation and broken limbs are your worst enemy. It's probably a good idea to do Nuka World before the Glowing Sea since Nuka Grape is your only way to remove rads in the field.

Double Barrel Shotgun as a main. Deliverer as a secondary. Any bat as melee. For most of the game I had a pretty decent flow to combat where I'd charge up a crit with my pistol and run in close to delete things with my Force-a-Nature. Sawn Off barrel and Calibrated receiver quadruples your critical damage, and that's before perks. I literally one shot Swan just to see if I could. Deliverer ended up being my most used weapon because it's just plain good all around. The bats didn't get that much use until I finally put points into Blitz, then they got crazy fast.

With this stat spread you have access to absolutely no crafting perks, but you can still make basic upgrades or scavenge them off of other weapons. Staying in the Railroad's good graces lets you buy upgrades for Deliverer. There's a guaranteed bladed rocket bat in the Pack's area of Nuka World.

Stretch goals beyond just beating the game:

Leave Preston on read and peace out of Concord after grabbing the Perception bobblehead. Leave power armor, miniguns and settlement building to Heavy and Engineer.

Use the "sarcastic" option at every opportunity. If people don't regret initiating conversation with you, you're playing Scout wrong.

Collect every unique bat.

Complete all baseball related quests.

Capture the control point in Diamond City for the BLU team.

Buy the Home Plate.

Complete all of Nuka World and become Lord Bonk of Soda Mountain.

Institute ending just because I hate them and I can't think of a worse fate than giving Scout complete control.

[anthonybialy]

Power Switch

Everyone cheers for the underdog.  Who doesn’t loves an unexpected victory from a BCS school over a powerhouse?  Amateur viewers figure the team bookies give points must be downtrodden.

But football doesn’t always reflect the rest of life even aside from how most humans can determine what a catch is.  Take how a war team some cheer on wouldn’t quite inspire with an unexpected win.  Sometimes, the plucky long shot faces such a vast spread because it spends its hours practicing mass homicide instead of how to leave the Stone Age.  Terror movements don’t enjoy the simplest amenities.  The Miracle on Ice has been replaced by treating ice as a miracle.

Hamas is the latest adopted pet for leftists far removed from the butchering.  There’s no chance their personal blood will stain sidewalks, which makes backing human annihilators easy.  Making atrocious idiots siding with villains intellectually uncomfortable is the closest they’ve ever come to facing consequences.

Iran’s unit for making the respectable world as miserable as their primitive theocracy is nothing but an imitation of a ’70s-style people’s army.  You’ll never guess who’s joined the booster club.  Cheering against America comes naturally for citizens who love everything about it but all the stuff.

The horrid fad epitomized by fondness for the Viet Cong has reemerged in an alternate form rampaging through the area’s only nice neighborhood.  Jane Fonda desperately wants to launch a Hamas rocket.

Worshiping Che embodies awfulness perceived as cute by commies who never had to suffer under it.  A goon who lost every fair fight he ever waged was as clumsy a mass murderer as Hamas.  And he hated gay people about as much.  Trying to tear down the successful in a more literal way than taxing them to oblivion won’t stop rich leftists from finding their saint stirring.

Columbia University serving as a hive of Jew hatred even by disgraceful Ivy League standards is a particularly appalling throwback from the more august parts of Manhattan.  Tom Wolfe’s spirit strolls through the borough’s fancier enclaves as radical chic flourishes despite his dismantling of it.  The dedication to wretched causes by those in the cushiest positions is reminiscent of the most stylish grossly embracing Black Panther cop-murderers.  Supporters of the wrong directional Germany never grasp that history is nothing more than noticing patterns.  It’s also why they get biology wrong.

A fondness for any of the ‘70s terror gangs is making the worst sort of retro throwback comeback.  Hamas is badder than Baader-Meinhof not just in bloodlust but because of precedent.  Anyone who’s paid attention knows just how diabolical the destructors are, which counts out their cult.  Pursuing ghastly leftist nonsense in the most horribly homicidal manner possible is how wealthy hypocrites apologize for unearned wealth.

Consistency is not to be praised for the dreadful.  Make no mistake that Hamas enthusiasts were 100 percent the same ones claiming America deserved it as rubble smoldered on September 11.  The only thing more disgusting than siding with those opposed to life itself is who their terror pals attacked.  Massacred Israelis are as disrespected by apologists for monstrosities as World Trade Center office workers.  Standing against everything decent is unfortunately timeless.

Embracing criminals only happens figuratively, as connoisseurs of leftist insurgent violence would never appear anywhere rendered unsafe by their beliefs.  You’d think they might want selfies with their beloved team’s favorite players.

It’s so romantic to think revolutionary struggles are adorable in nobility aside from the corpse piles.  Rallying for the allegedly disenfranchised should begin by determining whether they’re oblivious to how many innocents minding their own business have been slaughtered by their potential heroes. 

Aside from not being able identify who actually struggles, their moral compass points accurately.  It takes a few moments of observation to determine who’s really oppressed, namely Israel.  Sick cheerleaders for subversion think the actual religion of peace with a sliver of global population on a sliver of land surrounded by medieval barbarian fanatics who want to obliterate it for the crime of existing are the ones with power.

Cheering for terrorism from afar surely pairs a lack of empathy with selfish delusion.  It’s not like someone’s going to fly into any concert they attend and remove their heads from the rest of their bodies.  That’s unless terrorists could walk right over an open American border or there’s some way of attacking via flying.

Rich liberals are insulated from the worst of their pet domestic policies, as well, which makes the way they inflict the opposite of helping even more aggravating.  Proles they profess to help end up suffering from inflation and inflated minimum wage.  And wealthy virtue signalers can afford tuition despite government making it unobtainable for many as part of its drive to make it obtainable.

Admiring the Third World while enjoying the benefits of the First is one way to cope with guilt.  Trappings are wholly unearned, of course.  Mooching is their way of life.  It’s no wonder they sympathize with people’s republics no matter the style.  The society is so prosperous that even the uselessly ungrateful can enjoy opulent living.  Even Joe Biden can’t tear down affluence despite destruction being his sole skill.

Chaos enablers will be glad to learn their debate foe.  Seeing life as nothing more than a matter of who has power is also how Donald Trump approaches life.  The self-professed strongman reflexively cheers for whichever side he thinks has the most, which is on the same terms as vacuum-dwellers who cheer for whichever side they think has the least.  Plant a thought they deserve.

There’s a rather simple test for who is good.  Check to see if your side behead babies for the crime of being Jewish.  If so, you may want to shred your membership card.  Progressives cheered because they thought Planned Parenthood’s Gaza branch pioneered concierge service.

Maintaining ignorance offers common ground between terrorists and their aloof proponents.  Israel’s attackers seem afflicted only because they choose to attempt demolishing those who spent their time building buildings.  The group fashioning rockets out of pipes literally tears apart civilization to attack one.  Lack of clout stems from their adherence to heinous crudeness.

The best way to make fewer humans appear persecuted is to stop implementing Democratic policy goals.  Class warfare is nothing more than aggressive jealousy.  Israel’s fiendish foes are powerless because they refuse to live in a republic with members of a religion blamed by losers for every ill for as long as it’s existed.  Depressed Blue States are the equivalent of a two-state solution.  Choosing to live in multiple types of poverty leads to support from those who condemn being rich while giving up no riches.  Life gets worse for the worst allies.