#saying very normal things. and the interviewer proceeds to ask very normal questions

[aquamarine-v]

Rock and Read vol.089 KIZU Reiki interview (April 2020)

Interviewer: What did you talk about in your last interview?

Reiki: Last time, I talked about my upbringing, how I first got into music and my journey to Tokyo.

Interviewer: I heard that you used to be pretty rough back in the day… (laughs)

Reiki: Nah, I’m not rough at all (laughs). But some people say that.

Interviewer: Interviews can sometimes make you realize things about yourself that you don’t normally notice. Like, “Oh, so this is the kind of person I am.”

Reiki: Yeah, that happens a lot.

Interviewer: Some people don’t like that, so even when they do interviews, they dodge questions or avoid giving clear answers. But your band’s vocalist is the type to actively engage in interviews.

Reiki: Oh, you're talking about Lime. He’s the kind of person who speaks first, a man of his word, he walks the talk. But I’m not like that, I struggle with putting things into words. Even if I have something on my mind, I don't always know how to say it.

Interviewer: Still, being in a band with someone like him must make you more aware of things you hadn’t been able to put into words before or had only vaguely thought about, right?

Reiki: I guess, yeah. But it’s not like Lime tells me to be more conscious of those things. If anything, being in a band with him has helped me become more confident. It’s more like he encourages me to do whatever I want freely.

Interviewer: So, Lime tells you that?

Reiki: Yeah. That’s why I pretty much do whatever I want in Kizu. From the beginning, I just wanted to do cool things without thinking too much, and Lime told me, “That’s fine.” Well, I do think people like him, the intellectual type, who think deeply about everything relating to the band are cool (laughs). But for me, trying to be like that wouldn’t feel natural.

Interviewer: So you’re not the type to think things through as much as he does?

Reiki: Yeah, it wouldn’t feel like me.

Interviewer: Then why do you think Lime, who’s so different from you, tells you to “just do your thing”?

Reiki: Hmm… I guess it’s because he accepts me for who I am. Lime and I originally had a senpai-kouhai (senior-junior) relationship, and he was kind of someone I’d go to for advice. Before Kizu, I used to talk to him a lot when I was struggling. Like, “Am I really in a cool band right now?”

Interviewer: What do you mean by a “cool band”?

Reiki: I started a band because I wanted to do something cool, but at the time, I felt suffocated. I was caught up thinking about what would be well-received or what's trendy at the time. I used to ask Lime for advice a lot back then. But now, in Kizu, Lime does all the thinking, so I feel like I have the freedom to do whatever I want. And in the end, me doing things my way actually benefits the band… or at least, that’s how I see it.

Interviewer: What part of you do you think is good for the band?

Reiki: Umm… maybe my mischievous side? (laughs)

Interviewer: Hahaha!

Reiki: I know I shouldn't be the one to say that about myself (laughs). But even though I'm mischievous, I take it very seriously. Like, if it’s for the sake of doing something cool, I’ll do whatever it takes. On the other hand, I really don’t want to do anything uncool.

Interviewer: Wanting to be cool, wanting to do cool things, that’s what you value most when it comes to being in a band?

Reiki: Right. I want to be cool.

Interviewer: Can you explain what "cool" is? Like, your own definition?

Reiki: Hmm… I guess it’s about not bending who you are? People who stay focused on one thing and pursue it relentlessly, that’s cool, right? And that applies not just to bands, but anything in life. Also, I think it’s cool when someone is either completely loved or completely hated—people who go all in. For bands, it’s those with a unique style, an aura that only they have. People like that are cool.

Interviewer: When did you first start looking up to people you thought were cool like that?

Reiki: Probably around middle school. At first, I thought Hide (from X Japan) was the coolest, so I'd try to copy him. Then there was Kurt Cobain (from Nirvana). I think I admired people who were doing things I could never do at the time, people who were the complete opposite of me.

Interviewer: The complete opposite?

Reiki: Yes. I used to be really timid, very different from how I am now. So in a way, I started a band to overcome that weak version of myself. I wanted my past self to look at me and think, "That’s so cool." So yeah, I gathered a lot of things I thought were cool and and that's how I became the Reiki I am today. But I'm not perfect yet, I’m still searching.

Interviewer: You understand yourself well, don’t you?

Reiki: Eh, you think?

Interviewer: You said that your true self is actually timid. But not only are you aware of that—you also understand that it’s the reason you’ve become who you are now. Normally, people would want to hide that kind of thing. It’s not something they’d admit.

Reiki: If you put it like that, I guess it's true. I think being in a band changed that for me. I realized I don’t have to hide the version of myself that I used to hate. It’s not something to be ashamed of. In fact… I want our music to reach people like that, people who are like the version of me I used to hate. People who are too timid to do what they really want. That’s why I became "Reiki", so that people like my past self may think, “I want to be a cool person like that too”

Interviewer: I see… You know, talking to you now, you seem completely different from the impression I had when we first met.

Reiki: Oh yeah?

Interviewer: Last time, I interviewed the whole band together, and out of the four of you, you were the only one who gave off this aggressive vibe.

Reiki: ....

Interviewer: To be precise, you had a big attitude.

Reiki: Hahahaha! Seriously?!

Interviewer: These days, you don’t really see band men acting cocky like that. Everyone is really polite and well-mannered. But to me, that actually feels a bit off. Like, wasn't the whole point of starting a band to rebel against that kind of adult society?

Reiki: Yes, that's right! I'm in a band because I don't want to do all that.

Interviewer: That’s why I thought, “This guy is interesting.”

Reiki: That’s so embarrassing (laughs). But I guess, I do see that as part of what’s “cool.” It’s not like I’m trying to have a bad attitude or anything, but it’s just not cool being in a rock band while sucking up to adults and acting all polite.

Interviewer: But right now, you’re being really honest and open (laughs).

Reiki: (Laughs) Well… it's a one-on-one, and I’ve heard a lot about you, Higuchi-san (the interviewer), from Lime, so I figured I should just talk normally without being weird about it.

Interviewer: I appreciate it (laughs). So, in a rock band, you want to be seen as someone who is cool.

Reiki: Exactly. Especially in front of fans, or rather, when I go on stage, I want to be undeniably cool.

Interviewer: Even if your calf is in pain? (laughs) (On February 14, Reiki tweeted that he had torn a calf muscle, but insisted that as a rocker and guitarist, legs don’t matter and the show must go on.)

Reiki: That really hurt! (laughs) But I still wanted to be cool. That’s what makes me happiest—being the version of myself that I love. So if that’s the case, I ignore the pain and get on stage.

Interviewer: But that means you’re constantly keeping yourself on edge, right?

Reiki: Yeah… I think I’m always on edge. Well, it's been a habit since I was little.

Interviewer: Don’t you ever wish you could be cool without having to be on edge?

Reiki: Yeah. In reality, I'd like to be cool without being on edge…But I think I’ll get there someday. Right now, I’m still in the process of absorbing and collecting all sorts of things, so I have to stay on edge.

Interviewer: So, for Kizu to be a cool band, what do you think is the most important thing?

Reiki: First and foremost… Lime has to be the coolest one.

Interviewer: Not you?

Reiki: I think my role in the band is to be like a thorn—something edgy and distinct. But for that to work, Lime has to be the coolest one, the boss. My job is to figure out how to stand out next to him. If he weren’t there, I wouldn’t stand out either, I wouldn’t be cool. It’s the same as how Hide was in his band.

Interviewer: I see.

Reiki: That’s my ideal image of a band. I have this insanely powerful vocalist called Lime next to me, and without him, I wouldn’t shine. That’s why the vocalist is the most important. To make the band as cool as possible, we have to build our performances around Lime. No matter how hard I play the guitar, if the frontman is just messing around, the band won’t be cool.

Interviewer: And from what I can see, he’s still figuring out himself what kind of frontman he wants to be.

Reiki: Yeah, I see that too. He changes with every show, for better or worse. The band’s coolness depends on how cool he is, so in that sense, he has the toughest job. I just get to do whatever I want next to him.

Interviewer: That makes sense.

Reiki: Anyway, I just want Lime to be cool. That goes for the band, but also just him as a person, I want him to always be that way… I’m kind of a fan of Lime.

Interviewer: Huh?

Reiki: I mean, I’m a fan of him when he’s on stage. And I'm not just talking about his appearance or performance… Wait, is it lame for a band member to be saying this? (laughs)

Interviewer: No, no, you’re good! Keep going (laughs).

Reiki: As I said earlier, he’s the kind of person who speaks first, someone who puts things into words right away. And usually, those kind of people are all talk. But what makes him different is that he always follows through on what he says. He makes it happen. Sometimes, the way he goes about it isn’t what you’d expect, or his words might change along the way, but in the end, he always does what he originally set out to do. I think Kizu's fans are probably attracted to that part of him too—that he truly walks the talk.

Interviewer: You admire him so much that you understand the feelings of the fans.

Reiki: That's right. Or rather, I’d say I’m a bigger fan than any of them are (laughs).

Interviewer: Just how in love with Lime are you? (laughs)

Reiki: Hahaha! I guess it’s because of our original senpai-kouhai relationship. It’s not just about liking him, it’s more like I really respect him. He’s like this towering figure of a senpai. If I have a problem, the first people I talk to are my friends. But that’s more like venting over drinks, like “What the hell do I do?!” It’s not really asking for advice. If I still don’t have an answer, then I go to my parents. And if that doesn’t work either, I go to Lime—my last resort person. He’s someone I really look up to. But because of that, I don't consult Lime with small problems.

Interviewer: So, it seems like he’s less of a bandmate and more of a life mentor.

Reiki: You think so? I mean, I know that talking to Lime makes me feel better, but that’s why I only go to him when I’m really in trouble. Even when I do, I hesitate a lot before reaching out. I just stare at my phone, thinking about it.

Interviewer: I’m going to say this on purpose, but that sounds like a girl with a crush, doesn’t it? (laughs)

Reiki: Stop it! I'm not like that… No, but I guess (laughs) Yeah, okay, I guess I’m kind of in love with him.

Interviewer: Earlier, you said you really look up to Lime, but can you put into more words what things make him attractive?

Reiki: I wonder…it's really hard to put into words. But… I feel like when we're together, it's like the band can reach way bigger heights. When he says, “We’re going to do this,” he makes it happen. I guess that's what makes him attractive.

Interviewer: So for you, he’s kind of a charismatic figure?

Reiki: I think he’s just really confident. But with that comes a lot of pressure too. If he doesn’t follow through on his words, no one would follow him. I can tell that sometimes the burden gets to him.

Interviewer: By the way, do the other members have a different relationship with Lime than you do?

Reiki: Probably, yeah. I think they're actually closer to Lime than I am. I mean, they're just friends as bandmates.

Interviewer: So they don’t have the same “girl’s heart” that you do? (laughs)

Reiki: Stop saying that! (laughs)

Interviewer: Then would it be fair to say he's a father figure, like a substitute dad?

Reiki: A substitute dad, huh… Well, I guess that makes sense, since I don’t have a father.

Interviewer: I actually think you and Lime have a lot in common.

Reiki: Is that so?

Interviewer: He’s definitely a theorist and the boss type, someone who pulls people together to make his vision a reality—he could be an entrepreneur.

Reiki: That's true.

Interviewer: So even if he wanted to make a living through music, he could be doing it more efficiently. But instead, he deliberately chooses the inefficient, unprofitable route of being in a band. In fact, he seems deeply committed to it. Which suggests that, like you, he has a strong admiration for bands.

Reiki: Yeah, I think so. Maybe what we have in common is that we both love visual kei and rock bands. He can’t separate himself from that world because that’s where the version of himself he wants to be exists.

Interviewer: That's right.

Reiki: And I guess that’s why he’s still chasing that dream with me. One thing Lime often says is, "I want to change this scene." I think that’s both his ambition, and also... a kind of complex he has.

Interviewer: A complex?

Reiki: Yeah, this is something he talks about a lot too, but visual kei just doesn’t get much recognition from the general public. But Lime and I both fell in love with music and bands from this scene, so there’s this feeling of wanting it to be more accepted, of wanting to prove, "This isn’t all we are." Also, honestly, I don’t think Lime is quite as amazing as I make him out to be. Just like me, he has strong aspirations and is trying to become someone he admires. He may seem like a multi-talented guy, who can do it all, but I don’t think he was that way from the start.

Interviewer: Yeah, he seems like the type to work tirelessly behind the scenes.

Reiki: Exactly. That’s why he deliberately puts his goals into words, to push himself into a corner and make sure he follows through on what he said. It's how he's trying to become someone truly cool. I think that’s what I admire about him. He always follows through on what he says.

Interviewer: So it’s not just that you blindly admire him, you truly understand him.

Reiki: You think? Maybe it’s just my own interpretation.

Interviewer: What I first found interesting in him wasn’t his musical style or strategic thinking. It was what’s deeper, behind all that—his desire for someone to understand his true self.

Reiki: Through music?

Interviewer: Yeah. But he also has this clumsy side and he can't express his true self honestly. So, he hides it in this vessel that is Kizu, quietly hoping that the people who truly understand will find him.

Reiki: I see… That may be true.

Interviewer: That’s his charm, and I think that’s also why you like him so much, Reiki.

Reiki: So Lime and I do have something in common. Like I said at the beginning, I’m doing all of this to prove to that past version of myself that I can be cool. So in that sense, we’re pretty similar.

Interviewer: In other words, both of you are making music as a way to deal with something inside you. Of course, things like audience size, image, and staying relevant in the times are important, but that’s all secondary.

Reiki: Exactly. Wow, this is turning into a really interesting interview (laughs). By the way, I want to start a revolution while I’m still alive.

Interviewer: Huh? That's sudden (laughs). But a “revolution,” that’s a pretty big statement (laughs).

Reiki: Whatever it is, I want people to say, “Because of him, a new era began.” Even if it happens after I’m gone, I want my words, my music, to be engraved into history.

Interviewer: Why do you want to become that kind of presence?

Reiki: I think it’s because I feel frustrated with the world—society, the way things are, all of it. And deep down, I want to prove myself. I guess that’s really what it comes down to.

Interviewer: So, in a way, you want to prove your existence to the world? To be acknowledged and accepted?

Reiki: Yeah. By doing whatever I want, I want to rise to a level where I can actually change the times.

Interviewer: So, in other words, being connected to others is something incredibly important to you.

Reiki: Huh? Is that what it means??

Interviewer: Your existence is validated through the presence of others. In other words, you don’t believe your sense of self can be fully established on your own.

Reiki: ………………That might be true. I usually tell myself that I don’t care what others think, but in the end, everything I want to do depends on other people…

Interviewer: It seems like you have a strong desire to be accepted for who you are now.

Reiki: That’s definitely true. I want to be accepted—accepted exactly as I am. I’ve said it earlier, but people who can be themselves without compromise are the coolest. Instead of forcing yourself to conform to others and putting up with things you don’t want to do, if you keep staying true to yourself—no matter how unaccepted it may be at first—eventually, people will accept you. You could even become the one defining what’s right. That’s how I want to leave my mark on this world.

Interviewer: You want to leave proof that you lived.

Reiki: Yeah, I do.

Interviewer: Well, there is one sure way to do that.

Reiki: Huh? What is it?

Interviewer: Getting married and having children.

Reiki: Ah, that is beautiful! Yeah, that really would… mean leaving behind a part of yourself, wouldn’t it? But I think it’s more than just that… Maybe I just really want to be close to someone?

Interviewer: What do you mean?

Reiki: I want to be someone who stays in people’s memories. I want to be inside their hearts. It doesn’t matter if they love me or hate me, I just want to matter to someone. I guess… what I’m saying is I want to be close to people?

Interviewer: But you don’t actually want to be hated, do you?

Reiki: Of course I’d rather be liked. But if it’s just “kind of liking” me, I’d rather be hated. If someone truly, deeply loves me, then that’s different.

Interviewer: That’s… the same desire that Lime has, isn’t it?

Reiki: …... Come to think of it, that's true (laughs). We’re aiming for the same thing, Lime and I.

Interviewer: That’s why Kizu has a unique appeal that other bands don’t. You don’t want half-hearted admiration. You want people who will love you forever. A band where both the vocalist and the guitarist feel that way…

Reiki: Not too common, huh?

Interviewer: I think every band, deep down, wants that kind of connection. But even if a band grows big enough to play at Tokyo Dome, that feeling isn’t necessarily fulfilled.

Reiki: Right. Once you reach that level, you start wondering how many of these fans really love you?

Interviewer: But at the same time, you wouldn’t be satisfied with just 30 fans either.

Reiki: Yeah, but if it were just 30 people, at least I’d know for sure they were real. For me, knowing that someone truly loves what we do is what matters most. I can understand the loneliness that artists at Dome level feel. I think Kurt Cobain must have felt that way too. That's why I want KIZU to grow even bigger together with the fans who genuinely love us.

Interviewer: Since Kizu was formed, you’ve always been a band that connects only with those who truly support you. I always thought that came from Lime’s core beliefs, but through today’s conversation, I’ve realized that you feel the same way too.

Reiki: Yeah. After talking today, I think I understand why I want to be in a band with Lime (laughs).

Interviewer: So basically, Reiki, you’re looking for a pure connection with people.

Reiki: Huh? Is that what this means? No, no, that sounds kinda lame (laughs). I'd rather be yelling, “Screw everyone, just die!” That’s way cooler.

Interviewer: Yeah, that attitude is definitely more rock and cool. But would you really mean it when you say “Die!”? What about your true self? You're someone who can't lie about it.

Reiki: Ah… yeah, yeah, right. That’s something I think about sometimes. Like, I’ll say things, but then I’ll catch myself thinking, “That’s not really me, is it?” …Wait, I don’t want the fans reading this (laughs).

Interviewer: Hahahaha!

Reiki: But yeah, I do think about it sometimes. Even when I’m partying hard or making a scene, there’s this feeling that… this isn’t really what I want to be doing deep down. Like, it doesn’t feel instinctual.

Interviewer: That’s the part of you that used to be timid still inside of you somewhere.

Reiki: Yeah, probably. But at the same time, I’m usually the one to start the craziness. When I go all out, everyone else joins in, and it turns into this contest of who can get the wildest. But then, there are moments when I suddenly come to my senses, like, “Wait… is this really what I want to be doing?” That happens a lot.

Interviewer: And those moments, don't they feel a little lonely?

Reiki: Yeah, they do. I think, deep down, I’ve always wanted someone to understand me… but no one ever really did. Not even my parents. When I’d say, “I want to do this,” they’d just brush it off with a “No” or “I don’t care.” They never really tried to understand me. So, I guess I started acting out—saying harsh things, doing bad things.

Interviewer: So the partying and chaos… it’s kind of the same thing?

Reiki: Probably. That’s why, the morning after drinking too much and partying, when I’m stuck in bed with a hangover, I start thinking, “Why do I do this to myself?”

Interviewer: That’s a bit sad, isn’t it?

Reiki: Yeah. But at the same time, I don’t hate that part of me. Being reckless feels kind of cool, like I need to go to that extreme. But then, I suddenly start wondering… Am I actually a more serious person deep down? Like, maybe I’m not really someone who does this kind of stuff.

Interviewer: You mean, you weren’t naturally born like this.

Reiki: Right. I want to be someone who just naturally acts like that, the kind of guy people see as a total maniac. But there are moments when I snap out of it.

Interviewer: That’s why it’s okay.

Reiki: What do you mean it's okay?

Interviewer: Because you weren’t born that way. That’s why you’re struggling so hard trying to become that person.

Reiki: Yeah… I am struggling.

Interviewer: I think that the fans probably see through that side of you, Reiki.

Reiki: Ugh, I hate that (laughs). But… yeah, there are fans who really see me for who I am. And I feel like they’ve figured me out. That’s why it pisses me off sometimes, like, “Stop looking at me so closely!”

Interviewer: Hahahahaha!

Reiki: But when I completely lose confidence in myself… in those moments, I actually find myself feeling grateful for those fans. No matter how recklessly I live, I think there’s always a part of me that gets saved by them in some way.

Interviewer: That’s exactly what makes your band so compelling. Because you weren’t born this way, your music carries a yearning.

Reiki: I see… it makes sense when you say it like that (laughs).

Interviewer: Your true self will never disappear, and you can’t deny it. But at the same time, you’re striving to become this ideal version of yourself. I think that's something the fans can relate to.

Reiki: That's nice. It would mean they understand the real me. But… is it really that obvious? (laughs)

Interviewer: I think it is. I mean, you even tweeted about your calf hurting before a live show—

Reiki: And in such a dramatically cool way, too! (laughs)

Interviewer: But that’s just part of what makes you "you," Reiki.

Reiki: Ughh… that's so annoying… (laughs).

◆　　　◆　　　◆

[henrycangelbaby]

In which: “It's not that the amount of love I had changed, but I feel so proud about it now, like that I want to shout from the rooftops and tell everyone of my loved ones how much I love my wife, MY wife, ya know?”

Or

An interview gives unique insight into Pedro Pascal and his vast amount of love for his wife

I make my way through meeting the cast of HBO's unexpected hit “The Last Of Us” rather easily.

Bella Ramsey lives in a far nicer apartment in London than anything I would have been able to afford at the same age. Despite their fame and talent, they remain settled and down to earth, dressed in an outfit a little too cool for me to understand and eager to show me around their lovely apartment that is decorated in a way that I quite liked but I'm sure my baby boomer father would find offensive. I even end up meeting Ramsey's girlfriend, a fellow actor (who I admittedly had never heard of) who is equally as young and pretty as Ramsey is. They are both lovely and down to earth, a sentiment I don't often find relatable working with celebrities.

Kaitlin Denver is in her late 20s and still looks like she could be in high school. She lives in a shared house with her sister, whom she also shares a music career with. Despite the controversy surrounding her character in the show, she seems to remain completely unfazed by the backlash and threats that surround Abby Anderson. Denver merley shrugs when I ask her how she deals with it, leaving me to assume her vices when it comes to dealing with unprecedented hate.

I meet other stars of the show too. Gabriel Luna has all the southern charm of Tommy Miller and more, making me question whether he really does any acting when playing the sweeter, younger Texan brother. Isabela Merced is very beautiful in person and is also far shorter than I had imagined. What she lacks in height she makes up for in personality and charm.

Of course, when you think of the stars of The Last Of Us, there is probably someone else that comes to mind. Securing an interview with Pedro Pascal is probably one of the harder things I have had to do in recent years. It's not that Pacal is hard to come by; in fact, in recent years we haven't been able to escape him. I originally doubted that I would even be able to secure an interview with the internet's "daddy." Pascal has had a busy few years, and this one is no different. With multiple projects coming out this year, including the new season of The Last Of Us and his highly anticipated entry into the MCU as the iconic Richard Reed, it seems that everyone wants a piece of him. While all the other actors on this list do have notable careers outside of the show, the point of this interview series was to be able to interview the main cast members of the show in anticipation for the new season; however, I found that same sentiment hard to carry across when interviewing Pascal. I don't want to spoil the show for anyone, but I will just say that he won't be back next season. Whether that's due to internal conflicts or simply being too booked, we’ll never know.

I was rather ecstatic to receive a phone call from someone on his team letting me know the time and date for our interview. Like normal, I'm given an NDA to sign before receiving any personal information, such as his address (which I did require for the purpose of the interview). But everything else seems to go off without a hitch. 

I was admittedly nervous to meet him. In the best way possible, his reputation definitely proceeds him. Pascal is only ever described as kind, loving, funny, and any other positive synonyms for a massive sweetheart that you can think of. I personally have been a big fan of his work since he played forever thirsted over narcos agent Javier Paner. I know they say you shouldn't meet your idols (and trust me, I've had my fair share of heartbreaking realizations that someone I once admired is actually a piece of shit), but I had high hopes for meeting Pedro. And I am happy to report that it did not disappoint. 

I arrived at his home in Los Angeles ten minutes earlier than I should have. Not that I'm kept waiting, as before I can get a second knock in on the door, a young woman flings it open, smiling at me tightly. She quickly lets me in, introducing herself as Pascal's assistant, offering me tea or coffee, and ushering me to sit down on the comfy-looking couch while I wait for her boss to arrive (which she insists should not be too long). I take a moment to look around the room while I'm waiting. The room is sweet and welcoming, much like the rest of the home, which feels very well... homely (like stepping into your best friend's house and chatting with their parents at the dinner table). It's a hard feeling to describe, such a sense of nostalgia from a place that I had never been in before. It feels fitting though that a man so beloved as Pedro Pascal should have a home that feels so nice. I snoop to get a closer look at the photos that hang up on the walls and sit on cabinets. Most of them seem normal. There are a few faces I recognize within the photos; Oscar Iscac can be spotted alongside a younger-looking Pascal in one of the photos on the wall. I spot John Favro amongst a few people in a photo that looks to have been taken on the set of The Mandelorian, but apart from that, the photos seem normal. They depict family and friends in various places over various years; it appears that Pascal cherishes his relationships with loved ones above all else. 

I'm stopped in my snooping by another face in one of the photos, a face I recognize instantly, a face that has been all over the internet and tabloids for some time now. Pedro's wife. The photo is the first one in which she features prominently, sitting alongside what I can only assume to be one of her husband's sisters. It's a sweet photo, one that I can imagine Pedro was on the other side of, grinning wildly while taking. Y/N Pascal is an elusive figure that the media and her husband's fans have been trying to know better for a few years now. She is what is best described as a "normie," that is to say that she is just like you and me; that is perhaps what makes her so interesting to fans. She doesn't appear to have any ties to the industry; she isn't some big-wig producer's daughter; in fact, despite their insistence, fans have been unable to find anything on her. She has no public social media accounts, no company profiles online, and no one she went to high school with has come forward with a tik tok horror story (yet!). The couple are shrouded in mystery; no one seems to know how they met, where Y/N is from, or even the highly shrouded question of her age. She certainly appears younger than Pascal by a good few years, and I'm sure that I could find thousands of posts online speculating (or being downright nasty) about how young she is. But out of respect for the happy couple, I leave it a mystery. 

The sharp heels of the sensible shoes that Pascal's assistant is wearing suddenly come back into earshot. She warns me to be ready with my stuff as “they” will be home soon. I don't think twice about her words before hauling ass back to the couch and trying to pull myself together. It's not long before I hear the front door open. Amy (Pascal's assistant that I had only just remembered the name of) runs to the door. I walk slower behind awkwardly, not wanting to intrude (despite the fact that I had spent the last ten minutes snooping around what was essentially a stranger's house). I peek round the corner to be greeted with Pascal's broad back. He is facing away from me, talking to his assistant lowly. His assistant finishes speaking and moves past me, wishing me luck in passing. Pascal doesn't turn around to greet me yet; in fact, he drops down onto one knee to reveal to my utmost shock his wife. Neither of them pay me any mind as he begins untying her shoes for her, ever the gentleman everyone believes he is. 

It's not a second later that the man of the hour turns around to greet me. He smiles widely at me, and I find myself blushing slightly at his unwavering eye contact as he introduces himself. He only introduces himself by his first name, not something I find often when meeting famous people; they are often eager to give me the name that everyone knows and loves them by. It seems a bit of a strange phenomenon in Hollywood that has missed Pascal. His wife then steps forward to introduce herself. I hate to be the bearer of bad news to the millions of jealous fans, but Y/N Pascal is strikingly beautiful; even as I meet her in her own home with no makeup, she glows ethereally with a striking smile that looks like it belongs on the cover of a magazine. In that moment meeting her I quickly see why Pascal holds her in such admiration.

Much to my disappointment, that is the first and last time I see her during the interview. Pedro ushers her away somewhere out of sight with a protective arm around her shoulder. I can hear him mutter to her lowly, promising to be quick. Before kissing her goodbye with an "I love you." It makes my heart ache with a longing. Much like the rest of the internet, I wish I had a man like Pedro Pascal. We chat for a while, while exploring his house, he speaks passionately about his career, which he clearly loves. He has a flame behind his eyes as he speaks about his long-winded love for the cinema. He tells me stories of his famous friends that are featured on his walls. We laugh together, and he very much reminds me of an old friend. Even though I should be interviewing him, I let him talk, rambling on about things that I didn't find important enough to put in this interview, but they certainly put a smile on my face. 

The house is beautiful; it's decorated nicely and feels authentic and homely. It's not massive, not overly obnoxious in the way many celebrity houses are; it's still big, the kind of size that screams loving family. I don't mean to make assumptions, but it almost feels like it's been brought with the idea of a growing family in mind. I complement the house easily. Pedro smiles at me. For the first time in the interview, he refers to his wife. He tells me that he hadn't cared where they lived; “anywhere is home when you are with someone that you love,” but insists that she had loved the house the moment they first saw it. "She has better taste than me,” he tells me with a loving glint in his eye. "She did a good job.” I compliment, he nods and smiles, "always thought I was biased 'cause I’m married to her, but glad to know it's not just me." I feel awfully privileged to get an insight into Pedro's fondness of his wife. It's not often that he speaks about her publicly; she gets mentioned in passing during interviews and is often spotted at events with him, safely away from the cameras, but it's clear to the general public that his marriage is a part of his life that he wishes to keep away from public scrutiny. 

Its towards the end of the interview that I do ask him about his marriage. We walk past a wedding photo that depicts him and his lovely bride squashed together on one seat, smiling widely at the camera. He doesn't say anything when he notices me peering at the photo. I ask him carefully if he thinks being a married man has changed him. He ponders for a second. "Probably,” he answers me carefully. It's not the response I had expected from him, so I quickly encourage him to go on. "I suppose it has in a way,” he continues. “It's not that the amount of love I had changed, but I feel so proud about it now, like that I want to shout from the rooftops and tell everyone of my loved ones how much I love my wife, MY wife, ya know?” I smile and nod at his explanation. I understand what he is saying—such a sweet sentiment that it makes my heart warm. 

We don't speak for much longer after that; he briefly mentions a few upcoming projects, which he seems excited for. I ask him what he has planned next, after his next few big projects are done. He hesitates for a second. “Truthfully,” he says, “I plan on taking a step away for a bit.” I ask if he wants to settle down more. “Yeah, that's part of it; I mean, I’m not getting any younger.” He tells me, “Things are changing soon, and I just want to be settled with my family.” He finishes. I wonder for a moment what he is referring to when he mentions these soon changes; I don't ponder on it too long; much like a crazed fan, I have a few theories floating around in my head. 

We wrap up the interview from there; he is as polite and gracious as he has been the entire time, shaking my hand and thanking me for my time. I try to thank him for the interview and for letting me into his house, but he simply shakes his head at me, insisting it was his pleasure. He disappears soon after that, saying he has something to attend to (and speed walking in the direction that his wife disappeared to). I'm left to see myself out; I don’t snoop too much after I’m left alone. I make my way back to the front of the house, peering around as I go. I peek inside one room that appears to be in the middle of some kind of renovation or do-over. There are multiple pieces of yet-to-be put together furniture on the ground as the walls look to be in the middle of being painted a pastel purple color. 

I’m about to leave when something catches my eye—on the table by the front door, which has various bits and bobs scattered over it, but none of these catch my eye. I step closer to get a clearer view of what appears to be a small black and white photo. I quickly realize what it is: tucked beneath the wallet I had seen Pedro place down before our interview began is an ultrasound. I smile knowingly as my theory is proven correct; the Pascal family is about to be adding another member. 

Congratulations to Pedro as his wife on the upcoming addition to their family.

[walpu]

I found a really interesting premise that I think you would execute perfectly. The IPC has established a "mental and emotional health department" basically therapists to help with the stressed out or traumatised IPC worker and it's a mandatory thing to have one visit with them. The reader works in this department and when Topaz, Aventurine and Ratio (separately) went in, all probably thinking it's pointless. Reader proceed to read them like a book to the mineut details of their issues. How would they react? Would they come back for another visit?

thank you so much for your trust, it was actually very interesting to write 🥹

being their therapist

characters - Dr. Ratio, Aventurine, Topaz

notes - gn!reader, no romantic undertones, mostly character study

Dr. Ratio

I feel like he would be a bit taken aback at first.

He didn't expect you to go further than a few generic questions about how the latest missions have affected him and suddenly you're asking about his feelings regarding the IPC recurring him.

"Weren't you disappointed? Didn't you feel like your cooperation with the IPC symbolizes you drifting further away from joining The Genius Society? How do you view The Genius Society in general?"

It's a bit too personal for his liking but he has to admit that you are truly an expert in your field.

I can see him rather harshly asking why are you stepping out of the line with your questions since it's hardly concerns the topic of the therapy session. Not because he's too troubled by you seeing through him but simply because of the professional ethics.

When you elaborate that it's the IPC's request to make a full psychological portrait of their workers he just sighs.

His answers are short, he doesn't elaborate much. Sometimes he simply says that the topic you mentioned doesn't affect his mental state in a way that can prevent him from doing his job and leaves it at that.

He doesn't trust the IPC much since he knows better than giving a powerful organization information about his weaknesses. He does feel a certain level of respect towards you and your professionalism though.

Doesn't feel targeted or overly vulnerable even if it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth to hear his insecurities being acknowledged.

Wouldn't show up again. Mostly because of his distrust to the IPC tho.

Aventurine

Oof.

Both of you will need a drink after that.

There's just so much to unpack really.

If you try to ask him about how he feels almost dying at each mission, he downplays it.

If you ask about his childhood trauma, he shrugs it off.

I don't know how many people saw his interview for anan but everytime he's asked about something personal he brings up how he's actually lucky and hiw he should be grateful. So you get tve spirit.

Doesn't matter what your question is, his answer is the same. He survived, he was loved by his family, all his suffering led him to this, so of course he's grateful what are you taking about ha ha!

Look at his voicelines too, praising the IPC and all that. He gives you this generic answers and hopes you'll buy it.

Well you don't but you also can't force him to answer more honestly.

He himself would be deeply troubled by you reading him like that. He feels weak, defenseless. Like all he has done to protect his inner self was for nothing since you can see through him like that.

0/10 experience he won't show up ever again. Nothing personal against you, he just can't do it. Plus he doesn't trust the ipc either so.

Topaz

Honestly the most normal one.

She will at least try to be honest since she trusts the IPC (maybe a bit too much, which is also a coping mechanism and not the healthiest one, but you can't really call her out on this since you're working for the ipc and, let's be honest, they would not respect their workers' privacy, they WOULD force you to give them their personal information if needed and you don't want to make it worse for Topaz)

She may be a bit taken aback at first but it honestly feels good to talk about her struggles and inner conflicts. And I'm sure she has a lot of those since she's actually trying to do good things, still believing that the IPC can bring positive changes.

Will probably share her experience in Belobog with you.

Will use your meetings as an opportunity to sort out her feelings about her missions.

Has a lot of respect for you personally and actually tries to do some soul-searching to make your meetings more productive.

The only one out if the three of them who would come back

[ihatebnha]

Yes hi can I geettttttt one large Katsuki with a side of dick please?

yes ma'am coming right up....... ok its ready come pick it up at the register

keyword: LARGE katsuki... extra large... 2 XL.... 3 xl.... head go brrrrr

premise: where in which you model dynamight’s new clothing line and for whatever reason dynamight himself can’t keep his hands off of u...

enjoy <3<3 i kinda popped off lowkey (even tho i ended up using his hero name smh im sowwy)

-

It’s not like you’re small.

You think you’re a good size. Absolutely fine, of a perfect height, in a perfect body, everything. There is not a single thing about you that isn’t normal or expected, and for all the time you spend thinking about your looks, in the end, your body, for all it’s worth, is yours and actually quite comfortable.

But damn. If Katsuki Bakugo, the infamous, the incredible, Dynamight, isn’t one of the largest men you have ever seen in your fucking life.

In comparison to him, you might as well be the size of a kid. A doll.

It’s not like you didn’t know this... or at least, could have guessed. His height is broadcasted to the world in all the interviews he’s in, and mentioned in almost every hero gossip magazine like it’s the only cool thing about him… It’s just that, in real life, he’s a bit more... imposing… than you thought he would be. 

The only real images you have of him are from the sports festivals you watched when you were younger, and the blurry shots from the news that play on repeat almost every day.

Neither of which truly encapsulate the sheer size of him in comparison to you, and really, what a powerhouse of a man he actually is.

Bakugo towers over everyone, at least by a full head, and what he doesn’t have in height, he makes up for in bulk. His body is nothing less than that of a statue’s, and by all means just goes to show anyone, villain or not, that he is an absolute machine of destruction, a predator, you name it, wrapped in muscle and sinew and brutal, pink scars.

And he is currently shirtless, standing on the well-lit, white tarp of the studio background, waiting for you.

“Where’s the new extra?”

He bemoans, his expression curved into a mean scowl, practically stomping a foot in the direction of his manager, to which your stomach does flip flops and your heart sinks. Too busy caught up in watching him from afar, you rush to pull off the robe they draped you in and hurry to his side, dressed only in a Dynamight themed lingerie set and boots, held together with ridged, green garters.

“I’m here, I’m sorry, I-“

Bakugo’s eyes flit to yours, halting your nervous words instantly, before moving his gaze to look you up and down as he nods his head back and gestures to his side.

“Doesn’t matter now,” he purrs, his voice deep and rough, a hand reaching out to grab your arm, “Get over here.”

You nod, quickly, your teeth knocking together as you move into position beside him and face the camera that’s been teasing you since you got here.

Hired to model a new line of intimate, Dynamight clothing march, you know that his agency only called you because everyone else on their roster had quit. They called you because supposedly Dynamight was sick of looking at “models…” and said that out of everyone, you were the only one he had approved of… Though you know that probably just means that all the other girls were chased away by Bakugo’s mean snarl, and you were the first replacement to answer the phone.

Still…

Part of you doesn’t entirely believe that, at least if the way you feel Katsuki Bakugo practically salivating over your shoulder is anything to go by, his wide chest against your back as he very, non-discreetly presses his hips into your ass and runs his thick hand over your sides.

And when the sounds of shutters start going off, your expression now neutralized for the camera and nervousness long buried for another time, you can’t help but let yourself lean back into him, your hands moving to rest on his as he grips your waist with the strength only a hero in the Top Ten could have.

-

If you thought that Bakugo was large before… you are definitely not disappointed now.

You are on your knees in front of him, his legs spread to accommodate the way you sit between them, and your hands on his thighs as he hastily frees his cock from the cage that is his sweatpants.

You can’t help but gape, staring open-mouthed at the already hard member, which curves upward toward his belly and is surrounded by fine, blonde pubes.

“Surprised?” he mutters, a knowing lilt to his raspy voice, enjoying the sight of you going slack jawed, and he smirks at your expression, his canines bared and eyes heavy-lidded.

It’s large. So large you suddenly wonder what you’re doing, and how the hell you’re going to please him properly. He’s definitely the biggest you’ve seen probably... ever, and though the feelings are mostly overwhelmed by a twisted sense of desire, fear strikes your heart when you think about taking him in your mouth and… elsewhere.

You narrow your eyes, one hand reaching out to gently grip the shaft, the head unashamedly dripping a milky precum which you use to give him a few timid pumps before looking to his eyes for confirmation that that is what he wants.

He groans immediately, almost sounding relieved, throwing his head back onto the back of the chair as you shyly work him.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day, you know,” he says into the air, “You and that fuckin’ body.”

To be honest, it’s no surprise, especially when you consider how he practically didn’t take his hands off you the entire shoot, and think about the fact that in more than a few of the photos you took, his mouth was on some part of your body…

You can’t help but worry your lip between your teeth thinking about it, blinking up at him and staying silent.

“What, you scared of me or something, baby?”

Bakugo tilts his head toward yours, an eyebrow raised in question, aiming to close the gap between your faces but not quite entirely. 

“No, I just…” you hesitate, unsure of how to proceed. If anyone knows how attractive Bakugo is, it’s he himself, and you definitely don’t want to ruin the moment by saying something stupid.

You also don’t want him in on the information that you’ve never been with a guy so big, alongside the fact that you’ve never been with a Pro Hero of his caliber, either, afraid that maybe he’ll mock you for your inexperience or sudden petulance, and in thinking so, you settle with a shrug, a smile, and a simple,

“I’m just nervous.”

Though your hand on his dick slows to an embarrassing stop, being that you’re too preoccupied with trying to fight the urge to shy away from his intense red eyes, his smile only returns, still cocky, still Bakugo, but nonetheless quite sweet. 

And in his smile, in the way he wraps one hand around yours on his cock before leaning down to kiss you, it doesn’t take much thought to know that he’ll most definitely take care of you, big dick or not. 

He’s a hero, after all, the biggest one you know. 

-

The pictures end up being released about a month later, to which all of your friends (and almost the entirety of Japan) immediately pick up their phone to ask you about. They gush over Dynamight, telling you how lucky you are to have scored the modeling gig, to have been so up close and personal with the Dynamight himself, but you can only laugh in response.

Looking at the photos, though, you can see what they mean, as once again you are reminded of just the sheer size of him, the images doing nothing to hide the way your head doesn’t even reach his chin, or how his fingers on your waist easily dip toward your belly button in a tight squeeze.

Or the fact that in all of them, he looks at you like he’s absolutely, positively smitten.

And from the glaring, possessive look in his eyes, you are also reminded of your escapade in the dressing room, the way Bakugo smiled at you, and the large cock that will haunt your sexual fantasies for the rest of your life.  

It’s honestly no wonder that, when the Dynamight himself posts a photo from the shoot on his personal page, the caption is a bold, “call me.”

[cheri-translates]

Headcanon - Do you prefer hard or soft things?

This work, 你喜欢吃软还是吃硬, was originally written by 君兮耶君兮 on Weibo, and she has given me permission to translate it 🌸

Suggestive! Not explicit but there are sexual innuendos!

[ VICTOR ]

“Victor Victor Victor, do you prefer things to be hard or soft?” Plopping yourself onto Victor, who is sitting cross-legged on the yoga mat, you snatch up the book in his hand and place it at the side.

“Idiot. Which part of the proposal do you not understand this time?” He’s especially patient with you, letting himself be squashed. Yet, his tone is merciless.

“That’s not it!” You retort loudly.

“You want an extended deadline?” His brows arch slightly, responding with a question.

“I’ve finished it a long time ago!” You puff out your chest in pride.

“Don't even think about having one more pudding.”

You huff angry, squishing and molding his face. “I’m just asking you a question. Do you always have to make jabs at me?”

“Dummy.” He smiles. “If it’s you, both hard and soft are fine.”

Recalling how you’ve often used coquettish techniques to get proposals approved, and how you spout a lot of empty rhetoric, you suddenly realise just how brave you are.

“Victor, do you know if I prefer things soft or hard?”

He pokes your soft cheeks. “Soft. Puddings.”

“Nope.” You chuckle, grinning as you get up from him, preparing to flee at any moment.

“I like things hard. As hard as Victor’s big pudding!”

And with this, you run away.

Victor is left stunned for a few seconds before getting up slowly. The corners of his lips suppress a smile. As though he has a plan in mind, he says, “Tonight, don’t forget what you said.”

[ GAVIN ]

“Gavin, do you like things soft or hard?” You toss out this innocent question, as it’s a perfectly normal query without a hidden agenda.

“Cough. You look really cute when you’re angry.” Gavin doesn’t answer your question directly.

“So does this mean Senior likes things hard?” You tilt your head to the side, planting it on his shoulder.

He shakes his head, lowering his shoulder so you can lean in more comfortably. “Even though you look really cute when angry, I still prefer it when you’re happy...” He pauses before continuing continues. “When you’re acting coy... it’s also very good.”

“So Officer Gavin enjoys both hard and soft things?” You blink mischievously.

“As long as it’s you, I’ll take them all.” His tone contains insuppressible affection, and it’s an answer within your expectations.

Lifting your head quickly, you give him a surprise peck on the lips. “This time, I’ll treat you to something soft.” With a giggle, your eyes are laced with a deeper meaning. “Tonight, I’ll have to trouble Officer Gavin to treat me to something hard~”

“Cough cough cough...” Gavin’s ears are dyed crimson. His voice is soft, and is no match for the sound of his heartbeat. But you hear it clearly.

“Okay.”

[ LUCIEN ]

“Professor Lucien, it’s time for an interview! May I know if you usually prefer soft or hard things?” Pretending that your left fist is a wielding a microphone, you bring it over to Lucien, who is currently reading on a chaise lounge chair. 

He lowers his head, planting a gentle kiss on your fist. “Is your new theme on dental research? Whether it’s hard candy or soft candy, eating too much of either isn’t good for your teeth.”

Face flushed, you retract your left hand and use it to cover your cheek, feeling its rising temperature. “Nope, it’s a personal question for you.”

“Hmm...” He supports his chin with a palm and ponders on it seriously. In the end, he simply shakes his head. “If it’s me, both work. After all, I’m not picky.”

It’s true that Lucien doesn’t express a particular preference for anything.

“No way, you must definitely make a choice today,” you insist, eyes shining as you stare at him.

“In that case, I’ll pick the soft option.” Lucien stretches out his arm, snaking it around your waist and pulling you closer to him.

“Huh? Why’s that?”

Since he’s sitting down, the height is just right. With a slight leaning of his head, he nuzzles your chest. “Because something as soft as this area is very comfortable.”

[ KIRO ]

“Kiro Kiro, do you prefer hard or soft things?” You stroll towards him with a bag of original flavoured chips, stuffing one into his mouth.

“Huh? Miss Chips, why do I feel as though this question contains an innuendo?” He scratches his head. “Am I overthinking it?”

“Of course you’re overthinking it. How could an innocent and kind person like myself ask a question with innuendoes?” You respond, keeping your expression levelled and controlling your heart rate.

“I genuinely and purely wish to know whether you like eating soft candy or hard candy.” You pat him on the shoulder, giving him determined look.

“Huh, I even thought Miss Chips wanted me to do something dubious.” His head hangs low uninterestedly, reminiscent of how Apple Box looks after it gets scolded.

“Where’s your imagination roaming to?!” You roll your eyes.

“Forget it, forget it~” He straightens up on the sofa, taking the bag from you and grabbing a handful of chips into his mouth.

After patting away the crumbs on his hands, Kiro leans to your ear secretively. “In that case, let me ask Miss Chips a question. Do you like things coarse or lubricated?”

The unsubtle words leave your face instantly red. Flying into a rage from embarrassment, you exclaim, “Kiro, could you please pry your head open and cleanse the insides of such filth!”

Unexpectedly, Kiro blinks innocently. “Miss Chips, where’s your imagination roaming to? I just wanted to know if you liked yoghurt with oats, or plain yoghurt.”

[ SHAW ]

Would Shaw prefer things soft or hard? You lower your head in contemplation, and the words unconsciously slip out of your mouth. “Probably hard.”

“What are you muttering about by yourself?” Your voice was too soft, and Shaw didn’t catch it at all.

“Huh? Nothing much. I just wanted to ask if you preferred things soft or hard.” Failing to notice Shaw’s strange expression, you proceed with your analysis. “I think you'd prefer things hard. After all, your Cola popsicles, Cola sweets and other things are all hard.”

“Cola-flavoured things are delicious.”

You nod. “I guessed correctly. Also, the rivets on the outfit you’re wearing now are hard too.”

You list down examples one by one, and feel that you should be commended for such sound logic.

“Tch.” Shaw expresses his disdain. “Why not say that the buddha beads on my wrist are also hard?”

Pretending to take this seriously, you nod. “That also counts as evidence pointing to my deduction.”

“...”

Shaw has never met such a thick-skinned person, and is left speechless for a while.

After a moment of thinking, he suddenly smiles with gritted teeth. “These things are hard. But there's something else that’s both hard and long. Want to give it a try?”

More translated and original works: here

-

[ Permission to translate ]

君兮耶君兮: You can - just note the source of the author

[timelessduet]

For Victor: 2nd Entry

I’d like to dedicate this work to @sayumiht, a co-Victor stan who made this suggestion. Hope you like it. <3

Subtle Jealousy

Victor is a serious guy. As a CEO, he exudes intimidating and powerful aura wherever he goes. You can probably say everyone fears respects him. That includes her. But it was only at first.

MC still has high respect for Victor as a boss and investor of her company but things were different now. Before, she was as intimidated and fazed to the CEO of LFG like everyone else. That maybe he was just all business and nothing else. He wouldn’t waste time on nonsensical things especially if it won’t bring him any good or benefit. But now... she doesn’t feel that gap anymore.

It‘s probably because she's the object of his hidden affections and love. At first, he was indeed annoyed and mad at her for doing things wrong or talking back to him. He couldn’t tolerate such behavior. With her though, that he changed. He tried to be more patient and accept such changes to his once constant and uneventful life.

Victor admits he suppressed his feelings for her because he had a promise to fulfill for someone in his past. Who would’ve thought that the person he searched for the longest time was her all along?

The people closest to Victor know he isn’t a vocal person. He never really tells what he’s feeling. No matter who it was. That is until he admitted all his feelings to MC after confirming she also felt the same.

He was adamant to confessing first. It wasn’t because of pride or fear of being rejected. Victor considered her side and what she’d feel if that situation was to happen. Him telling her what he truly felt which was out of his character and her being put in a tight spot. He knew of all people how kind the girl he fell in love was. If anything, she’d give a dumb face out of surprise but in the end smile.

But Victor also thought how it would be in her shoes. He wasn’t the one who’d be dealing with a confession from him. It was her. She’ll have the burden choice whether she’ll accept or reject it. And depending on her decision, she’ll have to face the corresponding repercussions. He was well aware being linked to him meant the scrutiny of the public and everyone at work.

Luckily, she felt the same and they got together. After all those years of waiting, Victor is finally with her. Although there were slight changes after being in a relationship, one thing hasn’t change: he was still unable to convey what he felt into words properly.

Victor: What are you doing? You’ve been texting on your phone for quite awhile now. Don’t even think about complaining to me that you’re feeling dizzy or your head hurts later.

MC is currently on her way to work together with Victor in his car.

MC: Almost done. I’m currently talking to Professor Lucien and asking his advice about the current program we’re doing.

Considering the field of work, Victor understood MC had to meet and talk to different people everyday. Even he had the same thing going on. But he can’t help but feel a sudden distaste upon hearing another man’s name. He kept his eyes on the road but had a change in mood instantly.

Victor: Professor Lucien? You could’ve just come to me for advice.

MC: Huh? Should I ask advice from you regarding a neuroscience topic for a show? You’re being a bit weird today, Mr. CEO. The topic is Professor Lucien’s specialty. Plus I heard from Goldman you have a very busy schedule these past few days so I wouldn’t want to bother you with such matter. It’s all taken care of. Don’t worry.

The girl explained it to him but for some reason that even he couldn’t explain, he was silently becoming more and more irritated. With the looks of it, everyone at work will be his outlet.

Victor: Can you tell me what this is?

Victor said while looking sharply at the department heads. He was already in a foul mood after what happened while going to work and as much as he didn’t want to vent his annoyance to his subordinates, they weren’t being any help.

Department head 1: Sir it’s... we’ll revise the report as soon as possible.

Department head 2: We’re very sorry about this, Sir.

Victor: As you should. Get back to work. You’re all dismissed. Send me the revised report through email by the end of the day.

This wasn’t a great day at all. Victor was used to having tons of work and meetings but today particularly, he felt stressed and fatigued.

Goldman: Sir, MC called and just informed she’d be cancelling her meeting with you today. She said there was a sudden event invitation from her alma mater that she needed to attend to.

For one, Victor didn’t believe in luck. But why did it seem like he was quite unlucky today? He pinched the bridge of his nose before asking his secretary if there were still things he needed to attend to for the day.

Goldman: The last on your schedule for the day is with Miss MC, Sir. Since she cancelled, should we have the teleconference with A Company moved this afternoon instead?

The supposed meeting with MC was business related and her giving him a report but he also considers moments like that as some time off from his busy schedule. But now...

Victor: Don’t change anything. We’ll proceed to having the teleconference as scheduled. I’ll take my leave early so have the car ready.

Goldman was surprised the CEO would leave work very early which was unlike him but he didn’t say a word and did as he was told.

Seeming as to how he’s becoming more and more restless, Victor decided to give her a call. What happened next made him feel like he’s been soaked with freezing cold water.

Gavin: Hello, you’ve called MC’s phone. This is Gavin. I’m taking the call for her since she went for the restroom and left her phone with me. What’s...

Without hearing any further, Victor ended the call. It was rude and very unlike him to do have such behavior considering his professionalism and objective way of doing things but this...

Goldman: Sir, aren’t you going to Loveland High to meet Miss MC?

Victor: Change of plans. I’m tired. Go straight home.

Victor was sure MC wasn’t doing anything unfaithful or of the likes behind his back but what was it he was feeling? It was very unpleasant and foreign to him that he just couldn’t explain.

After reaching his home, Victor did his usual routines and finally rested on the sofa. He wasn’t fond of watching television but since his girlfriend produced tv shows... he bought a tv for the living area. Opening the tv, the program on was an interview with a famous superstar.

Interviewer: I see. This is a question many of your fans are curious about. Can we know what our favorite superstar’s future dream projects are?

Kiro: I think I’ve been able to do many projects thanks to my management and fans. But now, I really really want to have a project produced by MC. MC if you’re listening lets do a program together.

So even this young superstar knows his girlfriend. At this point, he wasn’t surprised. Coming to his senses, Victor thought this was normal. She was a producer earning her own reputation in the industry. He should be happy and proud about it and yet... he can’t keep his emotions in check.

Turning off the tv, Victor let out a sigh. He was lost in thought. Why was he feeling this way? He opened his phone thoughtlessly and flashed was his wallpaper. It was a picture of him and her the day they became official.

The picture was rather candidly taken to say the least. They were both wet after what happened in the pool but because of happiness and the effect of alcohol, she insisted on taking that photo on his phone. It was a selfie of MC’s tipsy self smiling while Victor instead of looking to the camera, had a look of tenderness in his eyes directed to her. There was no doubt that was the happiest day of his life.

With all the things that happened, Victor dozed off on the couch. He woke up to a warm hand intertwined to his.

MC: Victor, you’re up. Sorry... Did I wake you?

Victor: It’s fine. I think I dozed off for a while. What time is it?

MC: It’s 9 pm. I’m sorry about suddenly cancelling our meeting earlier. That was wrong of me. I promise to make up for it by doing whatever you want!

Victor: Dummy, you’re being too loud. It’s already late.

MC: Seems like Mr. CEO is back to his usual self after a good nap on the sofa. You still looked formal while sleeping though. Just a little less intimidating? Hope your back isn’t aching. I did want to wake you and bring you to bed but you seemed so peaceful. I didn’t want to disturb your precious rest.

Victor: Idiot. You were apologizing just now for cancelling a meeting and here you are now blabbering about nonsense.

MC: !

Victor: You said you’d make up for it by doing whatever I want. I want you to just listen to to me and not say anything. I’ll only say or be like this once so listen carefully. Being with you made me into a dummy. You always smile and find meaning in the simplest of things. You’re kind to the point that you’ll unknowingly be taken advantage of. You complain about gaining weight but still heartily eat my cooking. You’re most of the times scared but put on a brave face and stick to your decision until the end. You’re probably the epitome of contradiction to me in every possible way.

Before, I worried how things would be if I told you how I felt. You’d be the object of everyone’s eyes and criticisms. You’d be looked upon differently. The burden of being with me concerned me more than anything else. Who would’ve thought I worried for nothing. You were a dummy who was capable of handling herself without my help or anyone else’s.

You’re probably thinking why is Victor being very outspoken today and if it’s already the end of the world... I know what’s in an idiot’s head that’s why. I felt strange emotions today. At first I couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly but I think I figured it out. You may be all the things I’ve mentioned MC but you are my equal.

You are the only person who worries me and yet assures me everything is going to be alright. You are the balance in my life I never knew I needed until now.

I’m well aware of the fact that being with me has a lot of weight in it. Still you accepted me without hesitation. I’m sure this idiot will meet people... people far better than me and be fascinated by them. They’ll show or make her realize things I may not be able to. She has so much ahead of her and that I know very well more than anyone else. All I could ever do is wait for her and be the support she needs. She’ll stumble and cry but I hope she knows by the end of the day, she has me.

MC: I’m not sure if this is what I think it is but... is this Victor’s jealous side? Hmm...

Victor: Idiot. Think whatever you like. And didn’t I say you were only suppose to listen and not say a word?

[Author’s Note]: The lines above were supposed to be part of the story but since it kinda affects the speech of our dearest CEO...

Anyways, ahhh I hope I was able to do jealous Vic justice. 😭 He isn’t one to talk his emotions so I hope it still fits his character. What’s it like seeing a jealous LFG CEO? It isn’t the usual, right? Of course, he is Victor Li after all.^^

[mrwinterr]

Who Do You Love?

Pairing: David Budd x Female Reader

Summary: After some months that David’s been working for the Home Secretary, you notice he’s been acting differently. Not wanting to overanalyze the situation, the signs are just too hard to ignore, so when it’s time to confront him there’s only one real question to ask.

Warnings: Bodyguard (2018) TV series spoilers! Adult themes. Explicit language. Light smut. Infidelity/cheating. Mentions of war, PTSD, political assassination, death, pregnancy/miscarriage, paranoia, and attempted suicide. Sad vibes, probably. We’re not gonna have a good time.

Disclaimer: This piece goes hand-in-hand with All For You. It’s not required to read beforehand, but it would be nice. As far as the TV series, yeah, don’t even read these if you’re still planning to watch the show. If you don’t care, you may proceed.

Title Inspiration: “Who Do You Love?” by The Chainsmokers ft. 5 Seconds of Summer

A/N: I want a happy David, I really do, but I’m a heartless writer. I took a break from the smut, so it’s not a huge bulk of the fic this time. I hope y’all still like it! Happy New Year! 

Another night alone was not unusual for you as of late, having grown accustomed to it ever since David had taken up the job of protecting Home Secretary, Julia Montague. Neither you nor David could’ve foreseen his courageous efforts in neutralizing the terrorist attack on the train back home would thrust him into his new position, furthermore the extent of its outcome in his personal life.

It wasn’t a hidden secret that David resented most politicians, and you knew of Julia from the news and her political ambitions in pushing a bill to increase security surveillance. David’s job put a big emphasis on confidentiality, so for his superiors to throw him into a public political warzone was a bit suspicious to you. There was something that didn’t add up, and you couldn’t just outright ask David whose side he was on in all this.

After neglecting the mountain of dirty laundry, tonight was dedicated to the domestic chore. It was nothing out of the ordinary mixing your batch with David’s, but he had a habit of leaving things in his clothes pockets, so it was routine for you to check everyone. You’d moved onto one of the costly tailored button-ups he wore to work and feel something protruding from the shirt pocket. You dig your hand in and fish out a tube of lipstick. Strange. You didn’t use this brand of cosmetics, and even more so the garment smelt different.

Under normal circumstances, this type of discovery would raise a red flag, but you recall one of David’s first days on the job as her bodyguard, the intern had clumsily spilt Julia’s coffee all over her outfit just before she was about to do a live interview, and David had offered her the shirt off his back, essentially saving the day. The man was just too dedicated to his job sometimes, so you shrug it off, but this wouldn’t be the first time you would notice something out of place.

It really started after the first assassination attempt that was made on Julia’s life. With the rate she was going at, her political status had made her a prime target to those opposed to RIPA-18. It was very frightening, you figured that much for her, David had seen worse in war. You just about had a heart attack when you reunited with him that night, the blood still stained on his clothes and missed splotches on his skin.

The both of you clung onto each other all night, lost within the throes of passion. It might as well have been one of the most intense nights yet, even then you could tell something changed by his movements. You didn’t think much about it at first because there’s already so much wrong with him, you’ve yet to learn all his mood swings.

Then one day you’d gotten sick, and discovered it was because you were pregnant with David’s child. One of the few things that made you forget about all the aches and pains that David unintentionally caused, was remembering the beautiful smile on his face when you revealed the news to him. You knew how much happiness Ella and Charlie brought him, you could only imagine what that would feel like, your own family with David.

He was so overjoyed in the beginning. He had quickly phoned his mother, who’d visited and even stayed a few days with you when David’s new position became more demanding of him, claiming she was worried about you being alone. You didn’t deserve to experience this alone, but it was sure heading that way.

Lately, you’ve found yourself occupying the Budd household quite more than often when David’s mom went back home. With David being on duty almost 24/7, you were completely alone, so the little family welcomed you.

Legally, on paper, David was still married to Vicky. It was something you weren't going to verbally admit bothered you, but oddly enough it did. What with the mood you’ve been in as of late, it ate at a part of you. They were separated and the divorce papers were well on track until David’s “promotion” paused the process.

There’s still not a hostile fiber in you towards Vicky. She’d moved on well, been on several dates with someone else, and things were looking great for her. It was lowkey, not even David knew about it, not that he even stuck around or bothered to care. It had to come out eventually because it would affect Ella and Charlie’s lives.

You watch as Vicky rounds the table after placing a cup of tea in front of you then sitting in the seat across and asking how you’re holding up.

You contemplate for a split second if you should be honest or not, but who else could you confine to at the moment? No one else could possibly understand. Vicky herself may not even, but she knew David more than most people did, so surely, she could see where you’re coming from to some degree, right?

Letting out a big sigh, you answer her truthfully, “I’m...not well, Vicky,” your eyes drop down to the cup in front of you, finger tracing the rim, the hot cloud of smoke of the concoction almost burns your skin.  

“Oh, poor thing,” she says, extending her hand over to place it on top of your other one on the table, “it’s the pregnancy. It has to be. It’s taking a toll on you. I can tell.” You look up at her and almost want to cry. No one noticed it was more than symptoms of pregnancy. You were bottling up so much.  

“Let me tell you, while I love Ella and Charlie, pregnancy was not a breeze…” she started to ramble, but you quickly cut her off, exhausted of people telling you the same thing over and over, unintentionally, blaming the innocent baby.

“No. I don’t think it’s that. I don’t want to blame anything on the pregnancy,” you say straight up. You got yourself into this mess, you went headfirst knowing the baggage David came with and you knew full well that protection wasn’t at the forefront in the affairs. Ready or not, you both went in this together and brought a baby into the picture.

Vicky stares, confused, but still genuinely concerned, “then what else could be wrong?” When you didn't immediately respond, she knew it had to be one other thing, or person, and you just didn’t want to admit, well out loud, “David?”

You only nod; you knew you were going to have to face the music sooner or later. So, you start listing things you’ve observed that have caused you to grow suspicious over the course of the last few months. You just hoped you didn’t sound like a mad woman in front of her.

The one time your phone had died, and he let you use his to place a food delivery. You couldn’t unlock his phone, trying every possible combined set of numbers close to David, only to come to a conclusion that the access code had changed. Visibly distressed, he realizes you were attempting to unlock his work phone. You knew that was his though. What work phone?

You didn’t even know he had one of those, let alone why did it have the same crack on the screen in the exact same spot as his personal one? You feigned stupidity and blamed it on exhaustion. Deep down David knew you were suspecting something was up, and he ended up placing the order for dinner that night himself.

The other time you confronted David about coming home smelling heavily of another woman. Whatever, whoever, her perfume was strong, and it made you nauseous. The pregnancy didn’t even do you any favors on this one with your senses heightened and overly sensitive.

Of course, he smelled of another woman, the person he was assigned to protect. You could see all the holes in his alibi. He was lying, and it hurt most when he indirectly admitted your mood swings were irritating him and then flipped it all on you, saying you were overthinking the situation and getting all paranoid for no reason. Accused you of not trusting him, when truth was you had the utmost faith in him, but not when the evidence was piling up.

There’s a solemn look that washed over Vicky’s face. She had expected more tales of David’s PTSD, but none of what you spilled alluded to it. This time David couldn’t blame the effects of war on your suspicions. However, Vicky knew that this was you and David, and if there was a pair that could survive love’s tumultuous doings then it was you two.

“There’s a lot of coincidences, yes, but this is you and David,” she says, grasping your hand for support because she could see the moisture in your eyes building up, “is it silly of me to admit I was always jealous of you,” she confesses, trying to steer the conversation a different route.

She didn’t want you to think she was brushing off your worries, but to remind you that everything you and David had been through to get to this point to be together, whatever you both were dealing now wasn’t anything you two couldn’t overcome. There were high hopes for you and David in Vicky’s mind.  

A small smile cracks your face, and you bring your vacant hand up to dab at the inner corner of your eyes, just before the tears start to race down, “jealous? Of what?” It was almost shocking to think you had something she was jealous of.  

“Every time you visited us,” she starts, “I could tell David held so much admiration for you,” and you know she’s not trying to hurt your feelings, but it’s taking a bit to figure out where she’s going with this.

“That’s silly,” you scoff lightly, “you both got married and had two kids, surely there was no doubt,” then bring the cup up to your lips for a small sip.  

“But there was and look where we ended up?” she says. Your lips cave in to form a tight line in response, and carefully place the cup back down on the dish, before she follows up, “you two are finally together.”

“Vicky,” you pipe up, not knowing where to begin. It was never your intention to steal David’s heart away from another.

“I’m not saying any of this because I’m mad at you. No. I’ve never truly hated you. You’re a good person and you’re finally getting your happily ever after. Don’t ever stop fighting for it,” she comes out wholeheartedly, and this time you make no attempt to keep the tears at bay. It stung to hold them back anyways.

Vicky gets up from her seat, walking the short steps to yours, to wrap her arounds around you. You immediately cling onto her arms and just cry, finally letting everything out.

“Seriously, don’t think of the worst,” she starts advising, while rubbing your back, “David will always come back to you,” she pulls you away from her before reminding you, “you knew going into this wasn’t going to be easy.”  

You feel so pathetic. What she said was completely true, you just didn’t think it’d be this bad. There’s no doubt you love David and want to be with him through the good, the bad, and the ugly, so you nod and try to keep your chin up. It wasn’t to appease her, you were going to get back up, because if not for David, then for the baby.

Suddenly, the front door busts open and Ella and Charlie are bustling into the kitchen, where you and Vicky were. Quickly wiping away the tears, you both noted that school had just let out.

They were ecstatic to see you, especially Charlie as he had currently been experiencing issues of his own adjusting to school. They lifted your spirits greatly; they were more fascinated by the baby growing in you and couldn’t wait to meet him or her. You absolutely adored them. They looked like David and the whole time they were talking your ear off; you wonder to yourself if your own kid will look more like you or David. 

David’s thrusts were deep and good; you made no attempt to hold it in, letting him know exactly how he was making you feel. Nails digging into his firm buttocks, pulling him closer to you, wanting him to just keep going and going; the chase proving to be almost just as good as the climax. You feel one of his hands run up your side and his large hand starts groping your breast, adding onto the pleasure he was plaguing your body with, while the other held onto the small of you back, bringing your hips up to his.

His face was buried in the crook of your neck, you could feel his hot breath fanning against your skin and hear his murmured swears and praises. The air in the room was thick, and for the majority of the intimate activity, the only sounds that travelled around the apartment consisted of heavy breathing, moans, gasps, whines and skin slapping, until the annoying distinct ringtone started screeching from a few feet away.

You’d learned to distinguish his work alarm since the supposed mix-up, and it pinged constantly, agitating you. David’s pace notably falters, and the rhythm you’d both built started dwindling, the needy side of you started to panic because he was going to stop and you desperately wanted to come, even more so come with him, but it looked like neither of you would be as you feel one of David’s hands leave your body and make an attempt to reach out to the device.

You grab a hold of his wandering hand and lace your fingers together, hoping to keep him close and forget about the alert. You buck your hips forward, urging him to continue. His grip tightens and cock twitches inside of you in response. Your strategy almost deems successful when he picks up momentum, each swivel of his cock gradually bringing out the starved woman in you. Not to mention, your sex drive had heightened too, you’d longed and craved any affection he could give you.

“David, baby…” you whine, holding a hand to his face, forcing him to keep his gaze on you and only you, the ringtone almost drowning out, “...don’t. Don’t. Fucking. Stop...please,” you resort to begging and hook a leg over his body, the new angle allowing him to thrust deeper.

And just when you’re about to tip over the edge, the incessant ringing persists, and David’s halt unintentionally pulls you back down. He unwinds your sweaty clasped hands, no doubt in search of the phone once more, however, you had more leverage than he did, and your hand beats his hand to it. He wasn’t that far behind as his hand covers yours, and he tries to grab the phone to answer the call, but instead you swat it off the nightstand.  

“What the fuck?” David says aggravatedly, while attempting to reach his phone on the ground, all while he’s still inside of you, pressing your body deeper into the mattress, but careful to not crush you.

“No, fuck you, David,” you spit back, and shove his body off of yours. You scoot over to one side of the bed and try to level your breathing. You were both so close!

“What is wrong with you?” He asks, forgetting the phone on the ground.

“Do you really have to answer that?” You ask, attitude on full display.

“It could be an emergency at work,” he tries reasoning.

“You’re not on the clock, David!” You dispute, sitting up, clutching the sheets to your body to conceal yourself.

“That’s not the point! It could’ve been serious. Julia could be hurt,” he says, the words just coming out of his mouth, giving each excuse little thought. His mind was in a frenzy and you didn’t miss a single syllable.  

“You called her Julia,” you say just above a whisper, and suddenly you have an urge to vomit, but you do your best to control it.

“What?” he asks, not understanding what that meant at all to you.

It hurt more that he didn’t realize there was anything wrong and if he did, he was doing a good job at hiding something and making you look like the bad guy. You lightly shake your head, feeling defeated, and lie back down, settling on your side facing the opposite direction of him.

What was going on in David’s head? You tried so hard to understand him. It was like walking on eggshells, and even you had a breaking point. It was just sometimes too much because it felt like you were the only one putting in the effort to keep this relationship afloat.

The bed shifts significantly, letting you know that he’s gotten out of it. What felt like an hour, but were only a few seconds, the room was silent, tension still heavy in the room, and neither of you were willing to be the first to crack. You lie still, unmoving and making no attempt to stop him. It’s only when you hear the swing of the bedroom door creak, you allow yourself to blink the tears in your eyes away.

He didn’t leave the apartment that much you could rest assured of. Rest? That was what you were having trouble with. Things weren’t getting any easier with David and you even though you vowed to yourself that you’d go through Hell for him, the pressure was getting too heavy on your heart and in return, you knew the distress wouldn’t be good for the baby.

Maybe it was all just paranoia, the stress of pregnancy, and you were taking things too personal. You could be understanding about a lot of things in David’s life, his terms and PTSD, his kids, and his job, but was it too much to ask of him to be understanding of you? You suppose you were being selfish, and you were really tired. The only way to help you sleep was to swallow your pride and admit you were wrong.

The rush of the cold air instantly surrounds your bare legs the second you throw the covers off your body to get out of the bed. You throw on the discarded oversized shirt to be decent. Your steps are light, and you’re kind of nervous and, dare you admit, ashamed of how you overreacted that it drove David to the point of sleeping on the couch. After all, you made him feel unwanted in his own bed, and he certainly had enough respect to not steal yours.

Just when you’re ready to apologize and ask him to go back to bed with you, he’s already sound asleep, his legs sticking out from the mere blanket covering his upper body. You didn’t have the heart to wake him up for that. Sleep didn’t find him easy and he seemed just as stressed as you were, so you don’t disturb him. It can wait, right? You turn around and head to your room, shut the door and pray sleep finds you soon.  

It didn’t and neither did the conversation. 

News of the blast at St. Matthews College, where Julia was presenting a speech, rocked not only the political world, but it was the forefront of every news channel and medium. Tons left injured or dead, and as if that wasn’t bad, David was being told Julia had not survived the bombing.

He’s clearly distraught, believing he’s failed her, and on top of that, the weight of his lies started to suffocate him. He was going to have to come clean to you about everything he’s done behind closed doors with Julia. You wouldn’t forgive him, he was sure of that, and if by some chance you did, it would take a hell of a long time for him to regain your trust.

How many more lives does he have to ruin or lose under his watch? It was becoming too much, and it was sad, as he stared at the gun in his hands, that he’d contemplated his next actions more than once, but he really didn’t know what he had left to do anymore. There was a lot actually, he had his kids, a baby on the way, and a new life to build with you, but he was far too gone at that moment.

It’s Vicky that finds him back at the apartment, cleaning the brass fragments from the wound on the side of his head. She quickly puts the pieces together, the notes on the table addressed separately to her, the children and you, and the admission from David that these were brass fragments of a bullet casing.

“Dave, what the fuck? What about Ella and Charlie? What about-” she starts going on but stops when he visibly cracks because he knows your name is next to come out of her mouth, “I’m taking you to the hospital,” she decides and is quick to put away her tools.

“No. No one can know about this,” David says adamantly. They start to argue about his injuries and how David hadn’t been aware that he fired a blank round before he asks her to go back home to the kids.

“I’m not leaving you like this,” she says grabbing a jacket and tries to reason that he shouldn’t be alone right now and maybe being around the kids and seeing you will open his eyes and realize what he was leaving behind had he successfully ended his life.

He couldn’t pretend living like he was okay. What had happened to Julia was not his fault. All David ever did was do his best to protect, protect his country, his family and her.

“You need to tell her,” Vicky says while she hands David a cap for him to cover the wound on his head.

“I don’t even know where she’s been the last few days,” he admits pathetically. His own girlfriend, the mother of his unborn child, he can’t even keep tabs on where she’s been this whole time. It made him feel even terrible that he’d neglected you.

“She’s been staying with the kids and I,” she reveals.

“What? Why is she there?” He asks, and quickly puts the cap on and gets up from his seat.

She didn’t tell David of your whereabouts earlier because you’d asked her not to and she politely respected that, but she knew now was not the time to take sides anymore. You two had to deal with your issues now.

“She shouldn’t be alone, Dave. She’s pregnant with your child and yet she’s going through it all by herself,” Vicky tells him.

“I never meant to bring her into any of this mess,” he says heavily, full of grief. He brought you into the madness that was his world and now you’re trapped in it, bringing a new life along for the ride.

“She loves you, David, don’t sell yourself short. She just feels like she’s been left in the dark. You need to talk to her,” Vicky advises him, “it may not be pretty, but you have to hear her out.”

She knew you couldn’t stand being alone in the apartment without being reminded of David constantly. You weren’t in a good place either and she wanted to help you both before it was too late. 

You’d been left behind at the house with Ella and Charlie in the other room watching TV, while Vicky was out looking for David. He wasn’t answering any of the phone calls she’s made, even ones made on your cell phone, there was no form of contact or communication from him. You knew he was there at the college; he was Julia’s bodyguard after all.

When you heard more than two voices return, you knew she’d brought David back and had told him you’d be here. You weren’t mad at her for ratting you out, it was going to come out eventually. Nothing ever stays hidden.

“You don’t normally wear a hat indoors,” Ella points out the cap on David’s head that stuck out like a sore thumb.

“You said it’s silly,” Charlie reminds his father.

“Then I’m being silly,” David responds as he watches his children chomp away at the slices of pizza in their hands.

While Vicky was on the phone cancelling her date tonight, you faintly hear the end of the conversation he was having with Ella and Charlie over their dinner. He still hadn’t even seen you. Then you hear his quiet, controlled sobs, but he couldn’t detain them enough and be strong around his kids.

“I just did something silly today,” he tells them.

“Wearing a hat?” Charlie asks innocently.

“That, too,” he replies as he clings onto them both in a group hug.

Vicky had just revealed to you of David’s suicide attempt moments ago. You’re numb. Clearly, Julia’s death had affected him rather deeply, so much that he thought killing himself was a solution.

He didn’t care about you or the baby. You both weren’t enough to save him or have anything to look forward to. You can’t even cry anymore. You wanted to lash out and get mad. She advises you to keep calm and think rationally, but you’re tired of thinking about all of this.  

Without warning, David enters the room you’d been staying in. You’re like stone on the couch, arms crossed and starting straight ahead of you, mindlessly at whatever TV program the kids left it on before retreating to the dining area. Your eyes cast themselves on David’s demure stance. He cautiously steps forward and hesitantly takes a seat next to you.

“Is it true?” You ask, breaking the silence and finally turn to look at him. He only nods in response, his head hangs low, ashamed. You felt like your heart didn’t have any parts to break anymore. The confirmation alone just felt like him stomping on it for added measure.

“Ok,” is all you say, biting down on your lip to prevent you from saying anything else. It was petty, but you’d refused to show him any remorse or sorrow of any kind.

“Is this where you’ve been the past few nights?” He questions, rather awkwardly too.

“Oh, so you’ve noticed I haven’t been home?” You ask bitterly.

He was really going to push your buttons. You’re not sure if Vicky was right about you and David having to talk. This wasn’t going to go well at all. You were not in an ideal mental and physical state to be talking about your problems with him, but if not now then when?

“Of course, I have. Why wouldn’t I?” He asks, almost appalled by the accusation, and watching as you get up from the couch to stand in front of him.  

“I hardly see you and when I do I find out that you just tried to kill yourself, so forgive me for not assuming I even ran as a mere thought in your messed-up head,” it was harsh, poking at his mental state, but you were so fed up, your mind was just as clouded, “...you didn’t think about me when you held the gun to your head,” you said ripping off his hat.

Your heart tightens in your chest as you stare at the wound and tears threaten to fall, but you don’t let them, “...and you certainly didn’t think about our baby when you pulled the trigger,” then chuck the cap at him, he makes no attempt to catch it as it lightly bounces off his chest and fall onto his lap.

“I’m so sorry,” he says sincerely and making no attempt to hide his tears as they raced down, “I’m so fucking stupid,” and he gets up on his feet, ”...I need help.”

He’s not even going to use the excuse of work and you’re not expecting him to rat himself out and come clean about Julia just yet. David didn’t work like that and you were absolutely done with it. No, everything had to come out now.

“I know,” is all you say at first. He thinks it’s some form of forgiveness, him acknowledging his problem, until you follow up, “just admit it,” your voice changes in tone from anger and hurt to an icy one, “who do you love now, David?”

All while asking him that question, you’re trying to get his eyes to focus on you, but you simply cannot. He’s looking everywhere but, and it hurts.

“It’s Julia, isn’t it? Tell me!” You shout at his face. When he doesn’t answer immediately, your lips press down together and you don’t hold back the tears any longer, “I can’t believe you,” you say in disbelief, almost struggle to breathe right, “this shit has been keeping me up at night!”

You back away from him and cover your mouth, just to conceal your sobs so the rest of the family doesn’t hear you cry. They most definitely heard you yell, but you didn’t want to further trouble them anymore or cause a big enough scene for them to burst right through.

There hadn’t been a doubt in your mind that David loved you before, but just seeing how he couldn’t open up enough to tell you there was someone else during, filled you with more heartache. Maybe it would hurt less, you wouldn’t know unless it came straight from his mouth.

David starts crying as well and you honestly want to slap him, but instead you start saying nasty things, cutting him way worse than anything you could ever do physically, and you certainly don’t hold back. Claiming you two were never meant to be together, and the baby doesn’t mean anything especially in uniting you both.

“I’ll be surprised if this baby even survives,” you scoff thinking about a past experience, and how cruel life was gifting you this baby.

“What are you talking about? You’re not thinking about-“ David starts getting all frantic suddenly, and not thinking, he grabs both your arms in his hands, holding you in place.

“God no! I would never!” You say in disgust and pull away from him, “I can’t believe you’d think I would…”

“Then what did you mean?” He asks curiously.

“I never told you why I broke up with him,” you don’t really mention your ex’s name these days. While you’d both moved on as civil as the both of you could, it still pangs you to reminisce about the relationship and how it ended.

“He couldn’t handle the long distance,” he said thinking he knew.

“He only couldn’t after...” you pause, trying to decide if now was the time to reveal this secret. David had the right to know, after all, an incident like such could happen again.  

“After what? He was seeing someone else?” He grew increasingly anxious and almost ill towards the thought of another being unfaithful to you.

“No! It was my fault,” you don’t want to slander your ex at all. He couldn’t have prevented what happened to you across the other side of the world even if he tried. “I miscarried. I don’t know what I did wrong, but I woke up one day in my blood and the sharpest pain I’ve ever felt.”

You started reliving that day, how you were alone and the way your neighbors had to come to your aid. Your poor ex felt so helpless, he wanted nothing more than to drop everything for you, but the wave of depression afterwards had strained the relationship. It formally ended when you’d returned from studying abroad.

“I didn’t even know you were pregnant,” David says in shock. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling, and if it was stupid to think all this time you could’ve easily had a life without him long before you two finally became a thing.

“It didn’t matter, David,” your voice finally regained strength, and wiped at the tears on your face of the memory, ”you and Vicky were so in love. There’s nothing you could’ve done for me.”

“That’s not true,” David persists.

“I would’ve turned you away, just like him,” you say so sure. David was your friend then, yes, but you didn’t need or owed him this before now.  

“You’re not going to lose this baby,” he promises.

“You don’t know that,” and you’re not trying to be a pessimist about this, you wanted this baby, but you were more than aware of the possibility it could happen again. Bad things just always seemed to be happening lately anyways.

“I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I’d protect you both with my last breath,” he vows, grabbing your hands, desperate to feel any part of you.

“I don’t need your protection, David,” your words continue to crush him, that was your subtle way of leaving him and he knew it, “I love you, David. I love you so much!” you say with plenty of emotion, and lightly squeeze his hands in yours, “...but you can’t even tell me who you love right now,” you point out, reluctantly removing your hands from his.

“You need to get help, David. If not for your family, me or the baby, please do it for yourself,” you say last, before placing a small kiss on his cheek.

“I’m going to get help...for you,” you hear David say determinedly just before you walk out of the room. It wasn’t all you wanted to hear, you wanted him to tell you he loved you back, but you wanted him to live easy once again even if that meant him not loving you.

You could manage on your own, and work something out when the baby arrives, but for now it was time for you to go home.

A/N: Nope. Sorry! Whenever Season 2 decides to come out, maybe we’ll get a happier David, so for now I don’t think I can let these two ride off into the sunset…but I can if you send 2020 off with giving this a like, reblog, comment or all of the above!

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodfanfics]

“The Real Life Mary Jane”

Tom Holland x y/n

Warnings: none, just a bunch of cute fluff. Might take this and run with it if you guys like it enough!

Tom was sitting on his laptop memorizing lines in his room when out of nowhere Harry came rushing in, seemingly out of breath. “Tom! Have you been on Instagram today?” Tom stared dumbfounded before his confusion escalated as Harrison came running in not long after. “Harry, did you show him?” Harry shook his head and jumped in front of Tom on the computer. As he began to protest, Harry shushed him, the urgency in his voice alarming Tom. “N-no, I haven’t been on Instagram, you know I try not to make a habit of it. What’s wrong?”

“Have you heard of Y/N L/N?” Harrison spoke up, grinning from ear to ear. Tom had heard of the up and coming pop star’s name, but he didn’t know anything about you. “Uh, yeah, I guess? Why?” Harry finished his search and stepped out of the way. It was one of your music videos. “What is this about mate, I need to be learning my lines-“

“Just shut up and watch it!” Harry shouted and the two boys huddled around Tom as he clicked the play button. The video started up, it was a catchy song and you looked super cute. He had never even seen you before, but you were more than he expected. However, he wasn’t really sure why he was watching it until Harry spoke up again. “Okay, now pay close attention…” in the video you were sitting on the floor wearing a Spider-Man t-shirt that was way too big for you, and nothing else. Tom smiled to himself, he thought you looked cute in it. “So, she likes Spider-Man?”

“That isn’t the half of it, hang on.” Harry reached over and clicked to another tab he already had pulled up with a different music video. In this one you were lighting your ‘exes’ car on fire, and as you danced around and sang, you grabbed a Spider-Man bumper sticker off the back and put it in your pocket to keep. Harry clicked another tab with another music video, one where you were singing a slower song and in it, you had multiple Amazing Spider-Man comics splayed out on your bed. One by one, Harry showed Tom video after video of you slowly expressing your love for Spider-Man. In some of the music videos it was less obvious, but in some it seemed to be the point. Either way, you had been able to sneak in something to do with Spider-Man into every single one of your videos. The last one Harry pulled up was one where you and a bunch of girls were making ice cream sundaes and you had a pink beanie on with the classic Mary Jane Spider-Man heart on the front.

Harrison kept lightly punching Tom’s shoulder in disbelief and Tom just stared forward. “The media is calling her the ‘real life Mary Jane’!” Harry nearly shouted, Tom switching between the tabs himself. “How have I never heard of her?”

“Well she just released the video with the t-shirt, and that seems to be what blew up overnight. The rest were subtle enough that nobody really put it together.” Harrison explained, grabbing Tom’s phone and looking up your Instagram handle. He handed it back to Tom, and sure enough there you were on the cover of Cosmo, wearing that same Spider-Man t-shirt and the same beanie, the headline reading “New Popstar is the Real Life Mary Jane” and you had a sucker hanging out of your mouth.

“What are you going to do?” Harry asked, expectantly. Tom stared at his phone, unsure of how to proceed. “I mean, do you think I should do something?” The boys stared at him, dumbfounded. “You have to, are you kidding me?” Harry shouted again, knocking Tom upside the head. Harrison added, “Mate she’s gorgeous, and she is being handed to you on a silver platter. This is a golden opportunity, you might as well, right?” Tom sat and thought for a moment before ushering the boys out. “I need a minute to think, okay?” He closed the door behind them and heard the two snickering from outside. “If he doesn’t do something, I will. I could be Peter Parker, right?” You heard Harry mumble and Tom just hollered, “Piss off!” And the two took off laughing.

Tom sat back down on his bed and pulled out his phone. He had been tagged by over 3,000 people to look at your post of the article cover. He must have been really distracted from his phone to not notice today, so he googled your name. As he was scrolling, he found a video of you dated a couple of months back, answering questions for an interview. “So, who would be your celebrity crush?” The interviewer asked. You paused and smiled at the floor before answering, “Well I guess I would have to say Tom Holland. He is about as close to Peter Parker as I will ever get!” You and the interviewer laughed, and he continued, “Yeah, you have said in the past that you are a fan of Spider-Man, when did that start?”

“Honestly, I have loved Spider-Man as long as I can remember. I grew up watching the movies, collecting the comics, tucked under the covers with a flashlight reading them every night.” You giggled again and the interviewer continued. “No kidding! So why not Tobey Maguire? Or Andrew Garfield?” Tom watched as you looked between the camera and the interviewer before landing on the camera. “Well, Tom was Stan Lee’s pick for Spider-Man so, I think that answers that!” The interviewer led the questions elsewhere, and you seemed to answer them all with ease. Tom did notice that you were blushed only when talking about him and that made him blush just as bright.

He pulled your Instagram back up and scrolled through your photos for a while. You seemed like a relatively normal girl, all your posts of new song releases or pictures of your dog. Finally, he clicked the follow button and opened his dms.

-

You were on set for your next music video release, busy getting your make up touched up when your phone kept buzzing in your pocket. You pulled it out, deciding that since you had a few minutes of spare time you would see what was going on. You tried not to spend too much time on your phone while you were on set, still trying to figure out the do’s and don’ts of the industry since you were so new. You glanced down as your phone screen lit up, and you almost dropped it. You tried to shout out to your best friend, but all the wind left your lungs and you just took off running. You called out to the director, “I am gonna need a five-minute break!” And kept running until you collided with your best friend, Grace. “Ow, y/n! What the hell?” You had no words, you just handed your phone to her and kept pinching yourself. “Holy shit. Holy shit!” Grace started shouting, seeing the notification.

Tom Holland (@tomholland2013) has started following you

You collapsed onto the couch and felt a shiver run down your spine. “Calm down! We figured this would happen eventually, right? You weren’t exactly being subtle, and with the new tabloids…” Grace sat next to you but fell silent after a moment. You figured she was just reading it again but after a minute of her not saying anything you looked up. “Well now what, Grace?” Her skin looked pale and she was trying to suppress a smile. “Now, you answer this.”

She handed your phone back to you and you read the dm, and then you read it again, and then you read it out loud because that had to make it real right?

“Do you prefer going by Y/N or Mary Jane?”

You couldn’t describe the feeling coursing through your body, and Grace held onto you to keep you stable. “What are you going to say, girl?” You shook your head for a moment before saying, “I have no idea.” And attempted to type out a response four different times, with feedback from your manager and Grace of course, before landing on, “Usually Y/N, but it’s never too late to pick up a new nickname. How are you?”

You felt like it wasn’t perfect, but it was the best you could come up with in the moment and you sent it. A few minutes passed of you erratically checking your phone before he responded, “I’m doing well, thanks. I was just reading up on this article I found today. Some very interesting things in there. I didn’t know I had such a huge fan.”

You smiled and answered, “I’m sure you have a million fans that love you, I just get to have a voice to talk about it!”

Several minutes passed without a response and you sighed. “Was that too flippant? I just didn’t want to seem like a crazy person or an over obsessed fan.” You asked Grace, who shook her head. “It was fine sweetie, I’m sure he just got caught up doing something.” You nodded, unsure of her reply as the director poked his head in, clearly pissed that you took off. “Can we please get back to filming?” You jumped up, apologizing profusely and followed him back to the set. After about an hour of filming dance scenes and close ups, you were done for the day. You thanked the director and apologized again for leaving him waiting before returning to your dressing room. There you found your phone unattended, and you opened it again to find two missed dms.

“You wouldn’t want to grab dinner sometime this week, would you?”

“Sorry, I hope that wasn’t too forward. If you aren’t interested, I totally understand.”

You could have thrown up right there. You probably would have if you weren’t wearing your new Spider-Man sneakers that you would avoid ever getting dirty. It gave you an idea.

-

Tom checked his phone repeatedly for the next hour, concerned he pushed it too far. “What if it’s a marketing scheme?” He asked his brother who shook his head. “It’s not, Tom. She is probably just busy-“ A notification going off on Tom’s phone brought them all back to reality as he pulled it out and read the message out loud.

“Sorry for the delay, I was caught up filming.” Followed by a picture of what appeared to be Spider-Man themed tennis shoes. A few seconds later another message popped up, “I would love to get dinner with you. How does Thursday sound?” Tom threw his fist in the air triumphantly before texting you back. He couldn’t wait to meet you, and you two spent the rest of the night planning your dinner. Harry stood up and patted Tom on the back saying, “I can just hear the tabloids now. ‘Extra! Extra! Read all about it!’” They both laughed and Tom shoved him playfully before he returned to his phone. Today turned out much different than either of you expected, but Tom felt like he had something really good on his hands. A notification popped on his phone from Jon Watts, the director of the Spider-Man movies.

“Hey kid, I need you to reach out to Y/N L/N. We want to get her to make a song for SM3.”

“No worries, way ahead of you.”

[nostuntmanneeded]

I am so so sorry for this very very very long rant, I just need to let this out because I am getting so fed up with this paggro thing!

Unpopular opinion: Don't get me wrong I don't wanna start a fight or anything like that I just want to let this out. It's just that the amount of people who got so pressed about the interview rubs me the wrong way. In some way it looks like some sort of defense mechanism for people who are guilty. Regardless of what your argument is, it doesn't take away the fact that it's true. The fact that we are talking about it, causing a lot of fuzz about it and making comments like "wow thats passive aggresive" "he's practically begging for it" "paggro king strikes again" just proves that.

People are anatomizing his every move and behavior, constantly making comments about how he looks high or drunk and stuff like that have relentless discussions about his passive aggresiveness to the point that it's just downright obsessive. I'm not going to be a hypocrite, I admit that I find joy in consuming these gossip contents but why can't we just stick to the actual gossips? Why do we have to be exceedingly intrusive and overanalyze everything? That's no longer gossip. That's insolence and obsession wherein somehow people have this notion that they are entitled to have access in every aspect of their lives.

Sometimes I think we're just too arrogant, unconsciously acting as if we know everything. I get so thrown off everytime they talk about him being passive aggresive. We're already meddling more than enough by constantly making comments about his personal life -- among other things -- at least let him feel whatever he wants to feel?? Why do we have to be so dictative about everything? Despite everything, the man is still entitled to his own feelings and emotions and has every right to feel frustrated and exhausted, quit being dismissive of other people's mental state. Don't even dare fucking hitting me with that "he asked for it" bullshit. This is downright dehumanizing and sanctimonius.

Yeah, yeah, they signed up for a job that requires them being constantly exposed to the public eye and criticisms from them but if you're an actual decent person, you would know your position and which line not to overstep. We're just in denial, but sometimes we are just too obsessive and can't seem to sit still without the presence of drama so we try to pull one out. Sometimes we even contradict ourselves.

We'd discuss about how we don't really know him so we should not make certain comments but then proceed to talk about how "he's always been like that" and "he needs to keep it together" as if we actually know what's going on with him. Toby was definitely annoying but I think some of us were a bit hypocritic at the part where we were claiming that he's overreacting over a cake when in reality, we were actually the first one to make a big deal out of the cake, making theories about it. Half of the time we're just fooling ourselves, thinking we are being rational when in reality we are not. We're just being bullies.

Is it really that hard to just unstan the person and go on with our lives? Do we really have to scrutinize everything they do and say? Because we do have a lot to say for a bunch of people who claims that we don't care/we're fed up with it etc. All I am trying to say is, we can gossip all we want but we need to quit meddling with other people's emotions and quit dictating them how to feel and how to react about certain things. Fucking. Let. Him. Be. Passive. Aggresive. If. He. Wants. No one is holding anyone hostage, we all have the free pass to just go if it gets too much for us.

Anon, you just won the comment of the day!

This needed to be said and I couldn't think of a better way to say it.

This gossip blog is for people to ask me questions or get their thoughts out on a specific situation, but it sometimes is quite concerning to me how people pick up on the smallest things so quickly.

I've said multiple times today that being passive agressive is a normal emotion and he shouldn't be judged by it, especially if that's how he seemingly deals with his anxiety.

And you're absolutely right about the cake situation. You could tell I got overwhelmed by the theories about the cakes. We all have our thoughts on Toby and the whole event, but it was the fans who picked the 10-second video apart to try to analyze what went down.

I'm not saying that I don't enjoy getting fan theories, but I do sometimes think that fans need to tone it down a bit.

How would you feel if someone was constantly following you, breathing down your neck, watching your every move until you do something wrong? That's what some fans are doing to Sebastian.

It's one thing to view something and have an opinion on it, but it's another thing to spend every waking minute over-analyzing something that isn't in anyone's control.

[1ddotdhq]

🍃Wed 18 Nov ‘20💌

The duality of Harry! Today we got snapback and jumper casual Harry promoting Choose Love- a store where you can buy supplies for refugees- but Don't Worry Darling (which filming looks to be starting back up today or tomorrow) he also appears in his Gucci episode today ready to piss off more conservatives with the Looks he's serving! He's wearing a pink and white tucked in jersey, short ripped jean shorts (not quite booty shorts, but definitely not in adherence to any high school dress code), tall socks and loafers (and how much do you think they paid him to not wear his vans?). In the still that Gucci released early today he's got one hip cocked sassily, his hand on the other, and a phone to his ear. He looks like the gay uncle you wish you had posing as an 80s romcom heroine, like seriously straight people on Mars' gaydar is going off, I'm at an actual loss as to how they could have made this picture scream any louder! But never mind the still, let’s talk about the movie! Thus far Gucci Fest has been an exploration of the constructs of gender and sexuality and the expressions of such - how the existence of some people (“monsters”, as the TV pundit says proudly in the first episode) is inherently political, and also beautiful in its dissidence. They've gone for an artsy, surrealist vibe, it's very atomspheric. I have also personally appreciated the language diversity - the first one was in Spanish, and the second one in Italian, and today’s in Italian and English. Today’s episode opens with a crowd of unmasked people crammed in a public place (post office) followed by a shot of the lead character Silvia writing “we breathe the same air”, a bit disconcerting in these times. Anyway, they see a whole cast of characters there, including the advertised 'elegant gentleman', who is chatting with Harry on the phone! He asks Harry (who appears as Harry Styles™) about art, and how one celebrates the joyful differences of humanity within it, and Harry, standing outside in a garden replying on a flip phone with the sun flaring into the camera replies, “I think when it comes to making art, it's about...finding the thing you've always wanted to see, or you've always wanted to listen to, that like has never been made. It's always like an uncomfortable moment, I think, when you find the thing. You know, you don't know if you love it or hate it, because you don't know what it is yet, but i think that's the most exciting place to work in, and that's true for all the fields you mentioned. I think you draw on things you've, you know, kind of experienced in the past because it's your only reference point.” This sounds like something we’ve heard from him (and Louis!) before, but this time it’s DIFFERENT because it’s ARTSY.

Oh, and also! The Crown’s Emma Corrin, who you may remember being introduced oh so casually as Harry's PLATONIC friend (not a weird thing to spell out in headlines at all, nooo) right around the time she got cast in that role, mentioned last night that Harry had dog sat for her dog Spencer one night, but that halfway through dinner she received a text from an alarmed Harry-- “He won't stop farting. Is this normal?" and that was the end of that potentially beautiful platonic relationship (Harry/Spencer that is). Funny how the resurgence of their names together in the media comes right as Harry’s Vogue cover drops and Emma’s tenure as Princess Diana starts - nope, definitely no promo going on there! Jimmy Fallon, who was interviewing her, thought the whole thing was very funny and cosplayed Harry in his Howard Stern outfit - the bright Cobalt Blue sweater, deep green pants, and pearl necklace, and even included the Louis Blue balloon that made it to the cover of Vogue. Bluegreeners, the lot of them!

Liam’s 3rd collaborative Hugo Collection is out today! Liam answered some questions about the it on their instagram stories: he loves the “disheveled” look that Hugo went with for this capsule, he’s loved to learn about sustainability in fashion, his favorite piece is the blue track suit, his favorite collection (so far!) has been #2, or #1?  (someone responsible for making this video to promote capsule *#3* is crying but don't worry, he loves “all of them!” They’re “my little design babies”), and his favorite Hugo outfit was a custom red suit. The new designs, as Liam mentions, are more casual than ones that we’ve seen in the past, consisting of a lot of athleisure in au natural shades of taupe and such. If you want to see more of Liam taking about his fashion collection, tune in to Hugo’s YouTube channel this sunday at 6:30 GMT, where Liam and “special guests” will be online for the premiere of “The Style Eye”. What is that? No clue, but let’s all find out together, shall we? And, Liam is also going to be a part of Global’s Make Noise Celebrity Giftmas, donating a personalized video from him. It seems like the winner will be picked in a raffle, and you donate to enter! The proceeds will be going into a COVID relief fund, so it’s all for a good cause, as it always is with Liam!

And Niall's gone public about being in LA: he was papped yesterday wearing blue Nike shorts, a white T shirt with some flower blossoms over the heart and cartoon naked people on the back, and a Modest Golf mask (Harry’s not the only one who does promo in his pap walks!). Modest Management published a piece praising his RAH show, saying “the first words he said to us when he came off stage on Saturday were 'let’s do that again!'. So, possibly.” We look forward to more, especially if it means we get to hear some of the new songs he's working on right now!

[life-rewritten]

Manner Of D*eath Analysis: The role of Tan, Friend or Foe?

Manner of Death has been a whirlwind of emotions, and intrigues and angst in just the first three episodes. I don't know who we can trust, but the story and the clues are slowly starting to come together to give us the big picture, and that is about Jane's suspicious d*ath. From Episode 1, we have been intrigued and scared to fall for Tan; he's mysterious, attractive, some times shady, and also at times flirty and swoon-worthy. It's been a confusing time because I don't want to give my heart away to a murderer or someone who is involved with the murder of women, and I'm sure that's also what Bun is feeling, yeah Tan is gorgeous, and we all want to jump on him including Bun who can't seem to keep his wants at bay, but we must remember that so far Tan is shady? So here's an analysis focused on Tan is he friend who we should we protect and love with all our heart, or is he a foe who we shouldn't yet trust and believe in. Let's find out.

For me, Tan is a big suspect with all the clues pointing to him in episode 1-3. You could argue about the many facets of his personality shown to us so far; that indicates that there are layers to him and that's exciting because it means that he's going to be a three-dimensional character to break down and learn about. Right now I don't trust any smile, or moments with him and Bun because I'm pretty sure that secretly he has not yet even romantically thought about Bun in the way we think he has. Reason one because I don't even think he's ever thought about love or even had an experience with it; funny because he's the person who's the assumed boyfriend of our  victim Jane. However, I don't think Tan even feels emotions or is allowed to feel emotions pertaining to romance and love.

He's wearing a mask, and the mask he wears aligns to what role he's meant to play for different people;

Is he the boyfriend who is mourning and desperate to find out who did that to his girlfriend?

Is he the shareholder and teacher at the school who is obsessed with biochemistry and making students learn?

Is he the protective partner who will fight anyone from trying to steal his lover as he did for Jane when he beat up Pued?

Is he a friend to Bun who is actually determined to work with him to prove he's not the suspect and also help with the case for Jane?

Or is he actually the real monster behind the mask, is he the actual suspect of his said girlfriend; was he involved in her m*rder because he wanted her not to reveal the truth she discovered?

Is he Dam the gang/mafia second hand who has a gang of children as his followers, who's absolutely violent and scary when it comes to protecting what's theirs?

Is he righteous and just was as determined as Jane to prevent corruption from happening but then, something went awry?

These are the questions we have to ask about Tan from what we know so far from this show from episode 1-3. The way he controls all his masks and which ones he should show is scary. I feel like we haven't even gotten to see who he really is, Bun hasn't met the real him yet, right now everything that comes out of his mouth comes with a motive. The question is what that motive is? Let's analyse even further:

THE ROLES OF TAN

Tan as Jane's Boyfriend

The first sign that Tan isn't maybe who he says he is; is from watching his interaction with Bun when we're introduced to him, he's not shocked/upset at Bun for kissing him instead he's intrigued, he teases, he flirts, he hints and takes up his personal space. It's odd for someone who's meant to be devoted to their partner. Upon seeing Bun again, he smirks and enjoys his discomfort and likes the fact he makes him feel anxious. It's even more interesting when he, later on, becomes protective of Jane being dragged by Pued. Pued says it's because he's been her ex before,  it was just one of those types of scuffles, but the way Tan beats up Pued and the way he violently reacted was not just some random act of jealousy. Like all Pued did was drag Jane to speak to her, it's not okay for him to pull her the way he did like some object forcefully, but it was also weird how he just brushed of Tan beating him up as a jealousy thing.

Tan's reactions later as well to Jane's loss is weird, he immediately is unfeeling, no emotions of stress or depression at the news of his girlfriend, it's like he anticipated it and he found it bothersome to be questioned about it. First, take a look at his reaction when being interviewed in ep 1, he's tired and looks annoyed but not shaken up at the fact that someone he possibly loves committed suicide, he's colder and frustrated, and a little bit defeated. He proceeds the next day to go teach, and act like everything is normal, and he shows discomfort at people prodding into Jane's death, especially the students. Maybe he's just really cold and emotionless to when someone he loves and cherishes dies because he's used to it, but his reaction is more like someone who expected it to happen and is frustrated by people trying to make it more serious, and that's not how a boyfriend should act.

Next, he also proceeds to warn Bun to stop looking into the case, and Bun notices his distant aura. But also it's like he's moved on, he's more focused on Bun when he sees him, on teasing and flirting but he also gets irritated when Bun tries to blame him for the murder. As a boyfriend he does not seem like someone who really cared about Jane's well being he says the reason why he wants to work with Bun is to really find out who the suspect is, but truthfully it's odd when you think about how he says it, he should have said that with more of vengeful or angry way because the person took someone who he apparently is very protective of.

Tan, as Jane's boyfriend, also brings this question of his role when focusing on foreshadowing in the show. For example, the little mermaid is mentioned as a cautionary tale of a girl who died for love. Now, this could be predicting Jane's reasons for her death, and why she got entangled with the suspect of these girls or it could be a foreshadowing of the relationship brewing with Tan and Bun. (Tan falling in love in Bun and being forced to at the end choose one of them to live or d*ie the same with what happened with the original little mermaid). But we can talk about this later on.

If Jane supposedly became a victim for love then the first person to question is Tan, what connections does he have that connects to her death, why would she die for him, why would he be hiding why she d*ied, and what is his plans now that people seem determined to find out why she died. This is if Tan and Jane are in 'love', but we've found out that she was more affected by Pued, she went into massive depression before meeting Tan because of Pued, so Pued could be the reason for why she did for love. But then Tan is still in the know then for why she died, because he knows Pued has something to do with it.

This brings this question of is Jane and Tan really dating? Were they as happy in a relationship as they say they were, or is this role one of Tan's masks? My guess? Yes, it's one of his acts, he's clearly playing a protective role with her, he either was keeping an eye on her or she and he teamed together to protect her from whoever it is that is trying to murder her. So this means he is involved in this somehow because either he was part of the reason for why it happened (when he kept an eye on her for the suspect) or he was part of the reason because they both had their plans ruined when she was gone. So he knows more about why she could have been a victim.

It's interesting because her final words to him in episode 1 contradicts this fact, in fact, she tells him she'll let him know more as he worries about her state. So again this suggests he didn't know fully what she was involved in unless he pretended he didn't know and she also didn't know his actual role. See it isn't straightforward, Tan's mask as Jane's boyfriend is the role where he's not even trying the most to make it seem real, he acts more like she was a step/ job to do and then he moved on.  The worrying thing is we need to know what he was to Jane, so we also need to understand if that's his same plans for Bun. Is he doing precisely the same thing; is he wearing another mask with Bun to keep an eye on him just like he did with Jane assumingly or is he wearing another mask with Bun to protect him from Jane's suspect. It could be either, right now I'm leaning towards the latter because it's unveiled he knows the person who's sending Bun threats and he's involved in that.  Which brings me to his next role:

The teacher

Tan is interesting. We've introduced to him apart from the whole Bun kiss thing; we're introduced to him as a shareholder of the school (so he's wealthy) and a teacher for biochemistry. The students he teaches; we see are involved in this murder case, one is Nam a girl who is slowly being inducted into this mess, and the other was Nat who is already a victim of the suspect at episode 1

.

Pause, he's also teaching Sorowit who from his story we see he was beaten up by That who is part of a gang that is quite v*olent and protective over their own. Sorowit explains that That works under Dam, this violent Mafia second hand to Por (Pued's father). So Tan is very acquainted with everyone connected to this mafia and murder case. Which makes him even more suspicious because first, he's dating one of the victims, he's a teacher of a to be victim, and he's also a teacher of the other victim. It's interesting.

The reason I bring up the teacher role though is because I think it's another mask/role he's forced to play. I believe there is a lot of corruption going on in this show, with whatever Gang/Mafia organisation Tan or Pued is involved in. They are powerful enough to control the justice system, it seems like they've placed a lot of their people in places of power to hide and assimilate, Tan could also be a teacher, for this reason, being a shareholder of the school puts him in a very favourable position. Also if this Mafia is grooming kids, it makes it easier for him to control his little gang of That and others as Dam, that is if he is Dam. It's a way for him to stay undercover as whatever role he plays in the Mafia.

The kids are essential; it's That who's sending the scary threats to Bun (probably under Tan's orders) it's Nam who is the next victim showing signs of the previous murders. The kids are who are being inducted into this Mafia, and I think Jane wanted to come clean about it finally and that's why she died. She tried to hold a sense of responsibility because she discovered what was going on, and she felt guilty knowing what happened to Nat. Instead, the suspect stopped her to shut her up.

Is Tan the psychopathic, and heartless suspect trying to prevent his cover from being blown? Maybe but then that makes his other future roles as our love interest in this show, will be very angsty and sketchy. It also means we're headed for a terribly sad ending if he is. However, I don't think he is. I still stay with my opinion that this gang is like a family affair; the watch they wear is probably a sign of blood and unity, and it hints at wolfpack Alpha vibes.  We see that That is very protective of who he calls his friends, the reason why he gangs up on Sorowit is to stop him because he hurt one of his friends who lied to him that Nam was his girlfriend. That showed regret, but you could tell that with his gang loyalty is important, they don't ask questions they protect each other and get rid of what bothers their peers.

I think Tan is also part of the organisation with rules like this; he's been groomed by either family or Pued's dad to be someone unfeeling, and a protector of his group. Clearly, someone hurt Jane, and he's being forced to keep it a secret, so the group is not unveiled, so the organisation is not broken because unity comes first. I don't think he's ever had his own aspirations or goals; he's just followed the organisation rules and has a job that is probably not his own dreams/wants, a girlfriend that he was set up with to either protect or keep an eye on. Thus he has a protective role for the organisation. Like a bodyguard/ henchman he fights for them, (just like he showed he could, with Jane) and it's just like what Sorowit said about Dam if you cross him or his gang he will beat you up. I think Tan is Dam and he's a teacher as a way to keep a role undercover and also to keep an eye on the kids who work beside him.

So now we look at his other roles that he's starting to play? What other secrets is he not showing?  

The FACADES OF TAN

Pued's rival

I don't know if I've said this before, but I don't think Tan and Pued hate each other. In fact, it's even more proved to me that they are in this together, Pued goes missing in episode 3 and Tan is the last person to be with him because it's a hoax, Pued wasn't  taken, he was faking it to scare Bun and others who are trying to pry. Tan and Pued are determined to hide the truth about Jane.

This brings me to similarities Tan and Pued have with each other;

Pued and Tan both have a connection with Jane, Pued and Tan are working for the system; Pued is a prosecutor for the justice system, (this again brings up proof that his father's power or control is placing people in places of power and control).  Tan is a massive shareholder of the education system and a known teacher there. Pued and Tan both wore that watch, Bun remembers it faintly by staring at it, but the person he saw with that golden watch is also Tan if you look carefully at the flashback.

They are in the same Mafia; it's why they both look at each other suspiciously, not angrily when they walk past each other when he goes to convince Bun to drop the case. They both are working together right now to prevent Jane's truth being found. The question is, why? If they are working together, why would we see Tan beat Pued for Jane? My answer; it's a cover, it's not real, it's a show, don't know why they are doing it, but it's clearly to make people not think Tan and Pued know each other. But if Tan is Dam like I believe and Por is Pued's father, then Tan and Pued are closer than we think. Tan may even work for Pued as a bodyguard as well. Or the fight could suggest that he and Jane loved each other so much and he was planning on running away from the Mafia with her, and they didn't like that, so they stopped her, made him feel defeated and forced him to cover up the truth. I mean that also could be why, but Jane's last words weren't like that, she knew more than Tan did or she assumed she knew more than Tan did; they weren't working together on anything to do with romance and love.

If they were working together, then Tan was hired to protect her by her, and she didn't know he worked for Pued's dad. These are just speculations, but if Tan is Dam, Pued and Tan are closer than we think, and they are working together to hide Jane's truth Whatever Jane did, it was to mess up the organisation, and both Tan and Pued don't want it to be ruined, or Tan is being forced to protect the organisation's secrets. I think he's protecting the suspect so I assume the person is part of the organisation and it could be Pued, but I still think he's a red herring.

Bun's lover/friend

This is the one that keeps me on my toes. Tan does not have any feelings yet whatsoever for Bun, maybe the kiss they had, made him excited and attracted, but he definitely isn't going to Bun with those ideas. He's with Bun, making him stay with him at his, to keep an eye on him. It's either to protect him as I said from the suspect or it's to keep an eye on him and prevent him from finding out who it is. Right now from my analysis so far, I don't even think he's ever had to care for someone in that way (apart from priorities he has to protect).

I think he's playing another role with Bun, and we haven't seen him fall yet. There are moments where he smiles that I do believe is genuine, Bun makes him intrigued and smile, and want to tease him and for someone who I think hasn't ever had to think about what he wants or his emotions, I think that's a sign that he likes Bun without knowing it. I don't think he cares about Bun's welfare yet; I think he's still more focused on the job because he's the one who's sending That to scare Bun away, if he's Dam then he doesn't want Bun to interfere with his organisation. Bun is like Jane, a dangerous target, a whistleblower; someone who either needs to be stopped or eliminated. Now I don't think Tan wants to eliminate  Bun because I don't think he's evil or anything, just forced by his environment. So yes that cactus probably is bugged, his reasons for wanting Bun to stay at his house is the same, he wants to stop Bun from uncovering the truth, but it could change later to wanting to protect Bun.

I think this is why the little mermaid could be foreshadowing for them with Ariel and The prince in the original story; the mermaid has to choose either her life or the prince's life, she chooses his for love, and then ends and grow a soul. Tan is, in my opinion, is going to be forced to get rid of Bun but the more he falls for him, which hasn't happened yet, the more he'll struggle with that. I'm excited for when we get there. Tan is going to notice that Bun brings warmth to him, he's already cooking for him, and showing him he's attracted despite being cautious, I think he's going to start becoming more afraid of Bun finding the truth. The question is, will Bun find out who he is before he changes his agenda with him. Or will Tan soon realise he wants to protect Bun from the organisation with the disguise of keeping an eye on him? We'll find out. Either way, it's going be an angsty, dramatic and passionate love story. And I can't wait.

THE REAL TAN

Obligations vs Wants

As my analysis has shown I think Tan has many masks so far, this doesn't make him  the suspect but he's more in a situation where he's forced to be part of the reason why Jane was hurt. For me, I think he's never really had a chance to be good/righteous. Actually, I won't be surprised if he was inducted into the Mafia when he was a child like That. Cause it seems like that's what they do. Either that or his family is involved as well in the Mafia.

He could have been forced to protect the people he sees as family, as he's meant to as Dam, to be the protector role. He's probably always had to protect someone in the group despite being wrong like That does for his friends. I want to keep watching out for this, but I do think That and Sorowit are going to be mirroring Tan and Bun's relationship, Sorowit is innocent and naïve and That is working under the organisation with Tan as Dam. He also seems protective of people he sees as his own, and he appears hurtful and even under orders. It's the same way I view Tan.

They're like puppets for this organisation, and so even if Tan didn't kill Jane, he was either forced to hide her truth because it's a norm for him to do so without feeling with everyone. She was just a problem to the organisation, and his love for her didn't matter, or he never even saw her as someone important to him, and he was just playing a role. Now that role is over, he doesn't need to act like he cares about her, and he needs to move to the next part which is to do the same thing all over again with Bun. It makes it a more delicious plotline when he falls for Bun, and he has to try now and protect something he wants for himself. Bun is going to be a surprise, instead of following orders, and rules, he's going to find himself falling on love and wanting to stay with him.

Masks vs Smiles

Which brings us to this question. Have we even seen the real Tan? Have we seen Tan when he's not under the organisation or doing his roles? I think we've seen small snippets of him, moments like when he accepts the kiss from Bun surprisingly showing he liked it, or moments where he smiles when Bun says something about Jane, he notices Bun is a good person, but Tan can't be trusted right now. He's always probably had to wear a mask, slowly we'll see his real self uncovered soon, his genuine smiles, and who he actually wants to be. But for now, I think he's still playing a role with Bun. We'll soon start to see his mask uncover because we see him interact with That at the end of episode 3. We'll finally maybe see what's been going on with him.

Attraction vs Confusion This makes it even scarier for Bun for now, because Tan's intentions aren't pure. Bun is very attracted to Tan, and he finds him self forgetting that he shouldn't trust him, so he's going to be very blindsided by the truth, I wonder if he'll soon find out Tan is Dam, if he'll find out Tan is secretly sending threats for him to stop, but it's worrying though romantic when he asks Tan to sleep on the bed with him, he agrees to stay over at his house, he decides to work with Tan to find Jane's murderer. But he'll be fine like I said, Tan is not a crazy psychopathic , he's not the suspect he's the protector or connected to the person, but the more time shifts he'll switch and change his roles, he'll become protective of Bun no matter what. Let's hope we still get a happy ending after all this angst.

Let me know what your theories are with Tan. Do you think he's a friend or a foe? I just want to say Max is so brilliant as this character; he's so good at showing nuances and moments when Tan's mask shifts, it's been fun and exhilarating to see him play this role. And as for the plot if my theory is right, then Tan and Bun are going to be very angsty, passionate and Romeo and Juliet esque. We've had many stories where someone from the wrong group falls for someone who could be their downfall (little mermaid for example), where you have to betray someone, where you have to lie and hide who you are as you fall for someone. This is a really great plot and a love story to see unfold. It'll be crazy, dramatic but it'll be so fun and so romantic at the same time. Perhaps it'll even make us cry.

Either way, I'm enjoying manner of death, it's nice to piece together slowly the mystery, for now, there is definitely corruption of the justice system, so the police is not meant to be trusted, students are being pulled into this mess, and there are secrets about dr*ugs and s*x and money that still needs to be uncovered. Why are these girls willingly being d*rugged for the money? Was Jane involved in this was she also in dire need of money? Or was she connected to someone with who she found out what was going on overall? Is Tan a right person or a wrong person is he being forced to be harmful, or is he a red herring, and we're all falling for someone who is the villain?  Let me know what you think. Thank you.

[et-lesailes]

title: the inside scoop

pairing: chris evans x reader

word count: 2461

summary: you are a reporter with a certain favorite celebrity to interview, and you’re more than excited to talk to him about his latest movie, knives out. little do you know that your massive crush on him is actually requited.

themes: fluff

taglist: @evanstush, @tanyam93, @bval-1, @wonderwinchester, @patzammit, @rohaintahquil, @deidrashouseofpain, @sammyslonglostshoe, @jadedhillon, @bohemian-barbie, @whysparker, @sebastian-i-stan, @sebabestianstan101, @lille-kattunge, @teller258316, @peach-acid, @allsortsofinterests, @xoxabs88xox, @heyiamthatbitch, @cptn-sgrogers, @heyyouwiththeassbutt, @bangtan-serendipity, @troublermalik, @beardburnsupersoldiers, @bookish-shristi, @kind-sober-fullydressed,  @gingerninjaprincess16​, @straightforwardly​,  @denisemarieangelina​,  @frencchfries​, @xlanawriter​, @littlemoistcarrot​, @pottxrwolff​, @arianatheangelworld​, @ifuseekamyevans​, @southerngracela​, @nsfwsebbie​, @rororo06​, @savemesteeb​, @raveviolet​, @inactivewhore​, @hurricanerinwrites​

notes: this was a commissioned piece requested by @straightforwardly​​ ! thank you so much for supporting me and i hope this is everything you wanted :) ** if you are interested in my commissions, check out this post right here !

You’re quickly wrapping up with hair and makeup, looking at your reflection in the mirror trying not to smile so much. You were particularly happy to wake up for work that day, all because of who you’re interviewing today.

You’ve had the pleasure of working with Chris Evans a few times before, and while at first it was his looks that drew you in, it didn’t take long for you to simply fall in love with his entire being. The first time was a little nerve wracking. You had seen other interviews where he seemed a little grumpy, tired, and annoyed with the questions he was being asked, and so you had put as much thought into your own questions as possible. You refused to be like the other journalists and reporters, the ones who simply asked Marvel related questions or how he worked out. It was easy to see that this man had personality much deeper than that, and you were always eager to explore it. You remember how your heart had been pounding right before that first interview, but the second the two of you started talking, it was simply… amazing. Despite only having known him for minutes, you had already felt perfectly comfortable and secure with him, as if you had known him for years. You had heard from others that he had that effect on people, but you never imagined it was to that extent.

Now here you are, getting ready for your fifth interview with him. Another thing you love about Chris is that he actually remembers who you are, each and every time. It always makes you feel special, though you have to remind yourself to calm down- he’s simply considerate and personable, he probably remembers other reporters he’s seen multiple times too.

“Alright, you’re all set. Chris finished up a few minutes ago, he’s probably out there getting seated.” The stylist tells you, and you smile up at him with a nod. “Thank you!” Standing up, you take a deep breath as you inspect yourself in the mirror. You’ve become used to seeing celebrities as a part of your job, but Chris is the only one who has your heart racing and butterflies fluttering. Even interviewing Jason Momoa for Aquaman couldn’t get you as simultaneously excited and nervous as appearing before Chris; you have the biggest crush on him, but at the same time, what can you do about it? Honestly, you’re convinced he probably has a secret girlfriend- it simply makes no sense to you that a man like him is single.

‘Thank God for hair and makeup,’ you think to yourself, pleased with your appearance- it’s not too overdone, but just the right amount, mainly just so the lighting doesn’t wash you out on camera. You gather your cards and take another breath, forcing yourself to calm down before going out to where the chairs are- you were hoping to play it cool, but the second you see him, a wide smile emerges on your face. How a man can look so handsome simply sitting there wearing a long sleeve maroon sweater and fitted jeans while playing around with a water bottle in his hands, you have no idea. “Hi there! Sorry to keep you waiting.” You greet him, and he looks up, immediately grinning. “Oh, hey, Y/N!” To your surprise, he stands up and extends his arms out for a hug, pulling you in for a warm embrace as if you’re a longtime friend he hasn’t seen in a while. You’re shocked but you quickly take the opportunity to hug him back, resisting the urge to inhale how damn good he smells. His broad chest feels so warm and perfect against you, and you swear you could be in this position forever.

“How have you been?” you ask as normally as you can, finally pulling back with a smile and gesturing for him to sit as you do as well. “Oh, same old, same old. I have to say though, I’ve been looking forward to this. I love interviewing with you, you always ask such awesome questions!” he compliments you, and you’re squealing on the inside. “Ahh, now I feel so much pressure!” you joke, though give him an appreciative smile as you cross your legs. “Thank you, though. That means a lot, I really do try to avoid the questions actors seem to hear all the time.”

“I’ve noticed, and I appreciate it.” Chris replies with a smile, his blue eyes sparkling more beautifully than the goddamn ocean. It’s truly overwhelming how handsome he is; you feel as though looking at him is like staring right into the sun sometimes. “I’m glad to hear that,” you say somewhat shyly, but clear your throat, glancing towards the cameraman. “We ready to start?” 

“All good,” he replies with a thumbs up, and you wait for the signal before beginning with a smile. “Hello, everyone! I’m Y/N, and I’m here with Chris Evans today to talk a little about his latest movie, Knives Out!” Chris waves to the camera with a little smile, but almost immediately looks back towards you. “Glad to be here, Y/N.” God, you love when he says your name. ‘Hold it together, Y/N.’ You think to yourself; thankfully, your job basically consists of looking composed on the outside, and so you’ve at least had plenty of practice.

You give a brief summary of the movie to begin, then go into speaking about his character, Ransom. Looking towards him, you tilt your head slightly. “Now I know you played the ultimate golden boy when it came to Captain America, but a lot of your roles in the past have actually had a more twisted and angsty side. Curtis Everett in Snowpiercer, Syd in London, Mike Weiss in Puncture, and especially Bryce Langley in Fierce People. Was it a difficult adjustment going back to playing a more villainous character, or did you have a good time with it?”

“Wow. Even bringing out Fierce People, huh? You really did your research,” he teases, making you laugh softly before he continues to answer, looking thoughtful. “Honestly, it was pretty fun. Don’t get me wrong, I loved playing Captain America and the other lighter, comedic roles are fun too. But being a little wicked and vile is pretty entertaining as an actor. I missed it a lot, and I think I clicked with it again pretty easily.” He pauses before laughing, looking at the camera. “I make that seem like I’m just naturally an evil person. Like, ‘Yeah, it’s so easy for me to be an asshole on camera- because I am one in real life!’” he makes fun of himself, and you can’t help but laugh again as you reply playfully, “Well, you are from Boston, aren’t you? What are they called over there? Massholes?” He blinks and laughs loudly, grabbing his left pec which only makes you giggle to yourself and feel oddly triumphant at the same time. You love making him laugh. “Oh God, you’ve heard that term? Yeah, I’d say that definitely describes me pretty well.”

“Oh, c’mon, you’re not that bad.” You remark playfully, then realize you should probably stop transitioning this interview into flirtatious banter, and so you decide to move on to the next question. “Now for this particular movie, you have a variety of actors and actresses around you- some who are insanely experienced and have been in the industry for decades, and some who, while experienced, are young and only continue to climb upwards in their career. How did you feel, being a part of that? Does it bring back memories, does it influence you, do you influence or guide them?” you ask curiously, continuing, “You’re such an accomplished actor, and this cast was pretty remarkable as well- I imagine there were all sorts of different feelings working with them.” 

Chris nods as he listens carefully, smiling and even looking somewhat intrigued. “That’s a great question. Yeah, I was definitely pretty nervous actually. I really wanted this role, and I was kind of intimidated going into it all. These people are amazing, honestly. I feel like I’ve learned so much from them, from Daniel to Jaeden, and I can only hope that I’m able to be a good influence on other actors as the ones I look up to are to me. It’s interesting that you mention memories, though. Seeing younger actors and actresses always reminds me of myself when I was younger- and then proceeds to make me feel very old.” He laughs, shaking his head to himself. “But watching Jaeden and Katherine, God, they’re great. They have such drive, ambition, and they’ve already made it so far. They’re so fun and I’m pretty sure I was nowhere near as talented as them at that age, but I definitely remember having that energy.” 

You can’t help but smile as you listen to him. You’ve seen in other interviews that he wants to start a family one day, and that he’s excited to be a father. It’s adorable to you that he appreciates younger castmates so much, and even shows respect to them as actors. “You don’t think you still have that energy?” you tease, and he laughs, making an “eh” gesture with his hand. “Sometimes, but I’m telling you, I’ve gotten old. Years of action movies and stunts will do that to you,” he jokes, and you remember that he actually did a lot of his own stunts for the Captain America movies- no wonder he has such nice muscles. “Well, if it’s any consolation, you certainly don’t look old.” You can’t help but reply, but glance back down at your cards, forcing yourself to stay on track. The cameraman, one of your friends, is probably snickering to himself, and you bet you’re going to get quite interesting comments once this video is uploaded. How can you not go back and forth with him though, just a little? He makes it so easy, what with his perfect sense of humor, contagious laugh, and mere eye contact. He makes you feel like a person, a friend, not just some nosy reporter.

After a few more questions (and a teensy bit of flirting), the interview finally comes to an end. “I hope you guys are excited to watch this movie, because I’m telling you, it’s a good one- and I think everyone will be very entertained by Ransom Drysdale.” You remark with a raised brow, looking to him with a soft laugh. “Thank you for coming, Chris!” He smiles charmingly, waving at the camera. “Thanks for having me, Y/N. I had a great time.”

The cameraman signals that he’s stopped recording, but flashes you a little smirk before turning to the crew to discuss the work that needs to happen next. You blush slightly but clear your throat, looking up at him- you hate this part because he’ll have to leave soon, but you’re hoping you can squeeze in just a little conversation before that happens. “Seriously, thanks again. Honestly, you’re one of my favorite celebrities to interview,” you admit with a slight laugh, biting your lip. “You actually answer with… depth.” He laughs too, barely leaning forward. “Oh, yeah? Are you accusing celebrities of being airheads?” 

“Some of them!” you can’t help but answer bluntly, and both of you are laughing again. Now he bites his lip, suddenly looking at you a little more intensely than before- you hope your cheeks aren’t becoming as red as they feel. “Hey, Y/N. Can I ask you something?” You nod a little too fast, your curiosity piqued. “Of course. What’s up?”

“Do you, uh…” he pauses for a few moments before chuckling slightly, waving his hand. “Ah, fuggit, I’m just gonna come out with it.” His Boston accent comes out even stronger than usual as he swears, and you love and hate how attractive it sounds. “Are you dating anyone?” 

Your heart is pounding at this point, and you have to force yourself to respond in a way in which your voice doesn’t shake. “No, I’m not.” You cock your head, holding back a smile. “Why do you ask…?” He seems to look pleased about this, even visibly perking up before suddenly looking uncertain again, laughing awkwardly. “Okay. Okay, um, please tell me if this is crossing any lines. Like, please. Don’t be scared to slap me, even.” He jokes, and now you’re feeling the excitement bubbling up inside, though at the same time your brain is screaming at you not to raise your hopes up. “I have permission to slap you. Noted.” You tease in return, proud of yourself that you still somehow seem to have your wits intact. He laughs, eyes twinkling as he continues, “I know we’ve only had a professional relationship but… I was… kinda hoping I could take you out sometime. Dinner, walking the dog, a movie, ice cream, roller skating- anything. I just… man, I really want to get to know you.” He confesses, and it takes you everything to not practically jump up and down and squeal right there. You’re shocked. You truly never thought that someone as famous and attractive as him would be interested in a mere reporter.

“Chris.” You smile widely, nothing but eagerness in your sparkling eyes. “I would love that.” You blush slightly, adding, “If we’re being honest, I’ve had a crush on you for like, years now.” Chris widens his eyes, scoffing in playful frustration as he buries his head in his hands. “You’re serious? God dammit, I knew I should have asked you earlier!” He looks up at you again, sighing deeply. “I really just assumed you were dating someone. Hell, even married. I mean, look at you, you’re gorgeous, funny, smart…. And you have depth.” He refers to your previous comment, and you laugh, though blush madly as you do so. “Thanks,” you reply softly- you swear you’ve never felt this much happiness in your life. 

His manager comes up behind him, gently tapping his shoulder. “Chris, we should get going. We have another interview to get to.” He blinks, looking somewhat disappointed but nods, looking back to you. “Mind if I get your number, then? We can talk later?” 

You nod, biting your lip delightedly as he hands you his phone as if you’re a child receiving a king sized candy bar. After putting your number in, you give it back- only to be wrapped up in another hug from him. “I’ll see ya real soon,” he whispers in your ear, and you’re blushing even deeper than before, though you nod with a little giggle.

“I can’t wait.”

[btsslowburnfic]

Born to be Yours Ch. 10

Story Summary: For Namjoon, the moment he set his sights on being the #1 rapper, he pushed the symbol to the side and hated it. Love should be chosen, not forced on you. He didn’t believe in fate and this mark on his wrist was a big “fuck you” to all that.

Chapter summary: Life after you and RM part ways goes back to normal until an accident changes everything

Previous chapters found here: Chapter 9

You are surprised that life does in fact go back to normal. You and Xavier make up and get back to working with smaller local groups after the awards season ends. Things with you and Ben get back to normal; you become a master of using heavy foundation on your soulmark when you’re at home. The summer tour is amazing. You and Xavier traveled to 32 states in 4 months. You find yourself following Twitter and Weverse to see what RM is up to. And you sometimes found yourself thinking about that night the two of you spent together. You mostly try to push it out of your mind though. Even though you told Xavier and he randomly brings it up.

“Right here? On this desk!?!” he asks, running his hands over the surface.

“Yes. And don’t do that, it’s weird and gross.”

“How was it? Describe it to me again.”

You chuckle a bit and roll your eyes, “No. I told you once so I could get it out of my system.”

“Ughhh you’re so boring.” he whines playfully.

“Shouldn’t you be reprimanding me about being a terrible cheating slut?” you raise an eyebrow.

“No. I ship that shit.” he responds, sipping on a smoothie. “Have you eaten yet?” he asks

You laugh and look through your phone. “No, I had a zoom meeting with Gina at noon and then I covered spinning class.” You press some buttons on your screen. “There. I just ordered. I’ll see you in a while.” You stand up and put your flip flops back on.

“Sounds good. I’ll see you in pilates tonight.”

You toss your bag over your shoulder and put your sunglasses on as you step out the door. You look both ways and start to cross the street as you hear a screeching sound. The next thing you hear and feel is the sickening crunch of bone hitting glass. Tires screeching away and then everything is black.

----------------

Namjoon occasionally finds himself thinking about you. Mostly when he accidentally slams his body into a door frame or cuts his finger. He always says he’s sorry and then kind of feels like an idiot for apologizing to no one. He also thinks about the night the two of you shared together quite often and had made Jhope send him those photos he took.

He’s happy to be working and on tour again. It’s been a fun summer. They wrapped up the Asia portion of their journey and were well into Europe now. As usual, the filming crew was in the green room as they were preparing for their second night at Wembley. The first night had been amazing. He couldn’t think of anything that made him happier than being in front of ARMY, especially when they were singing along to the songs he wrote. He smiled as he scrolled through his phone while he had his makeup touched up. 

“10 minutes, 10 minutes.” Management called out.

“Alright guys, let’s get it.” he yells through the green room.

They gather around and do their chant. The minute they step out of the green room they can hear the fans roaring and cheering along to the pre-show videos. They each go to their respective starting positions and wait to hear the signal. 

They open quick and fast with “On” and the crowd is absolutely pumped. They begin their second song and will then introduce themselves. The music for “Dionysus” begins to play and the elaborate set pieces are added throughout the song. They are almost to the end of Dionysus when RM goes down hard. He falls off the table. People are gasping, Jin runs over and signals to the staff on the side of the stage that something is very wrong. ARMY and BTS are freaking out. The visual director quickly puts a message onto the big screens to please wait a moment. The medical staff immediately takes the lift up to the main backstage area. The obvious damage is a cut on his arm that took the brunt of the fall from the table, but that gash can’t account for the fact that he’s unconscious and breathing shallowly. There is a rush of oxygen masks and people yelling. Jimin and JK start crying, the other guys are freaked out about the show and what to do next. Jin rises to the occasion by asking if they should go ahead and skip to his and Suga’s solos until there is more information. A decision is quickly made to begin the solo portions. The two of them quickly change costumes and prepare to go out. An ambulance ends up needing to be called. The guys decide that Namjoon would want the show to go on and so they do. It’s ugly and weird and they are unfocused but they manage through it. ARMY is crying for RM because they know it’s bad when he doesn’t come back on stage. They skip the ments and encore and  the guys are immediately loaded into vans and transported to the private health facility that he’s been taken to. 

The staff escorts the six of them to a room where they wait for a doctor to come and speak to them. A translator is located and brought in as well.

“What happened? Did anybody see what happened before he fell?” Hoseok asks.

“He was fine. I didn’t notice anything strange.” Tae responds. 

“They took video and showed the doctor,”Yoongi adds, having overheard the staff on the way there.

After a few minutes a doctor comes in. “Hello Gentleman. Your friend is in good hands here, and is stable.” she reassures them. 

There is a collective sigh from the group as they hear this news.

“However, we aren’t sure what’s causing this condition. There is no evidence of an aneurysm on the CT scan and the video doesn't show any seizure-like activity prior to the fall. His heart is in excellent shape as well as his lungs. At this point we are running more tests but we do need to ask you all some questions here. Please answer honestly. Does your friend use any drugs? Even maybe extra prescription medication?”

It takes a few seconds for the translator to relay the message and the guys’ reactions range from anger to disbelief. Jin is up on his feet shouting about how they should be focusing on fixing Namjoon rather than gossiping, Jimin is crying more. It’s a mess.

“Calm down guys, it’s a standard question,” Yoongi says stoically. “She’s not trying to be rude.”

“No. He drinks beer and wine sometimes. But no. He’s not on any drugs.  That’s ridiculous.” Jungkook summarizes.

“I’m sorry, it’s something I do have to ask. Is there anything else you guys could think of that might be pertinent? An old injury? Something he did earlier today or ate that he doesn’t usually?”

The guys all sat there for a minute. It was Jin who made the connection first: “His soulmate. She lives in LA.”

Tae’s hand flew to his phone to make a phone call.. The next few things happened over the course of a few hours: a phone call to Hitman Bang to get Gina’s contact information. Several phone calls to Gina. Calls from Gina to you. No answer. Phone calls to Xavier. No answer. Xavier calling Gina back hysterically sobbing that you were in a coma with a skull fracture and blood loss, Gina crying, Gina having someone else call Hitman Bang because she couldn’t stop sobbing, Hitman Bang calling Tae back.

The doctor was updated on the situation. “Ah...well that would explain it. Were the two of them very close?” she asks delicately.

It’s highly inappropriate but Yoongi just laughs, “No. They met one time .”

The doctor raised her eyebrows, “Oh. Well that’s unusual.”

“If she dies, will he die too?” Jimin asks quietly with tears in his eyes.

“No. And especially not if they weren’t close. I need to consult with some colleagues on this before we proceed. If you all want to go get some rest I think he’s going to be like this for a while. We can call you if anything changes.” the doctor informs them.

They are uneasy about leaving Namjoon there so they split up into groups of two to take turns. Jin and JK take the first shift at the care facility.

 ----------------

The doctor reaches out to several colleagues who are familiar with more case studies of soul mate injuries and what to do when there is a mirrored trauma response. She gets permission from RM’s parents (who have flown to London as well at this point) to try a reverse cryogenic procedure to restart his systems. Basically, they will bring his body down to an almost hypothermic point and slowly reheat him, encouraging cell regeneration and movement. It has been successful in similar cases, but it is a slow procedure that needs to be carefully monitored. 

Meanwhile, social media is having a field day about what could have happened. BigHit put out that story that RM has developed a severe allergic reaction to shellfish and went into anaphylaxis on the stage; he was administered an epi-pen and hospitalized but is now resting and recovering. The rest of the guys give interviews to back up this story as well. 48 hours after the incident began, RM is slowly regaining consciousness. 

“What happened? I feel like someone is opening up my skull with a pair of pliers.” he asks the doctor.

“I’m sorry but your soulmate was in a very bad car accident. She’s in a coma and you suffered a mirrored trauma response. I’m going to go let your friends and family know you’re awake.” 

“Shit.” RM says, really taking in everything that was just said to him. 

Jin is the first one in the room. “Hey. You’re finally awake. We were so worried.”

“How long have I been out for?”

“2 days.”

“Shit. What happened with the concert? Is everything ok? Oh God. What did they tell people?”

“One thing at a time.” Yoongi said as he entered the room. “We finished the show. The tour is postponed for at least a few weeks. We told people you had an allergic reaction.”

RM visibly relaxed but was still upset about the show. “Those fans have to be so disappointed.”

“Yeah, but they want you to be well. There’s thousands of flowers and cards being left at Wembley and so many messages on Weverse. We’ll make the dates up when you’re better. ARMY understands. It’s not your fault.”

“No, it’s [Y/N]’s fault.” he says briskly. 

“I mean. She got flattened by a car. So, not really.” Tae added.”She’s in an actual coma. They can;'t just reheat her.” he was surprised by how cold RM sounded talking about his soulmate.

“You’re right. I’m just...it’s a lot. My head still hurts and I guess I just want someone to blame.”

“Blame the asshole who hit her,” Yoongi adds.

“Yeah. I will. I’m so tired.”

“Here, we’ll leave so you can talk to your parents for a minute before you rest.”

“My parents flew in?” he says surprised.

“We thought you were going to die,” Jimin says seriously. “Your sister is on her way here too.”

Rm laid his head back against his pillow. This is exactly the kind of soulmate bullshit he’s been trying to avoid. And you were in a coma. He stopped for a minute and thought about how scary it must be for you but he won’t allow himself to dwell on it. He’s getting his soul mark obliterated as soon as you wake up from your coma and sign off on it. If you wake up from it. Shit. 

----

24 hours later he is discharged from the hospital and decides to book a flight to LA to see what your doctors are doing about rectifying this situation. He can’t shake the massive headache and leg pain that he’s still experiencing constantly. He cannot perform like this. Also he’s looked into the legal status of soulmark obliteration if one party is a permanently vegetative state and what counts as legal consent. Because of course he has. The guys all talk and decide that Tae will go along with him for support. Really it’s to be the voice of reason because they can’t believe that rather than going to see how you’re doing, he is going to ask you to remove your mark. 

------------

RM knows what hospital you are at because his doctor consulted with yours in order to determine the best course of treatment. You doctor was hoping that once RM woke up, you would show signs of improvement. So far though, there wasn’t a lot on your end.

Ben and Xavier dutifully took shifts staying with you in the hospital. On this particular night, Ben is taking the night shift, walking back from the vending machines. He stops when he sees two dudes who look like models standing outside your door.

“Hey. Are you guys friends with [Y/N]? You must be from the studio. I don’t think we’ve met before. I'm Ben” Ben is tired but tries to be friendly.

Tae and Namjoon turn and look to him. Ben. Ben must be her boyfriend. 

“Actually we’re from one of the bands she worked with. I’m Namjoon and this is Taehyung. You must be her boyfriend?”

“Fiance actually,” Ben politely corrects. “Just a few weeks ago actually,” he awkwardly laughs. “But then this all happened. You know the asshole didn’t even stop?” 

Tae feels extremely awkward. He can understand a small bit of what’s going on, but he knows that what’s coming will be very difficult for everyone.

“That’s awful. How is she doing?”

“Bad. Stable. But, bad. She lost a lot of blood and hit her head pretty hard. They’re surprised she didn’t have any broken bones other than her skull fracture. She dislocated her shoulder when it hit the hood. The guy was definitely speeding.” Ben runs a hand through his hair. “Sorry if you were hoping to visit.”

RM awkwardly runs his hands up and down his jeans. There is not an easy way to say this.

“So. You know that [Y/N] has a soulmark on her wrist?”

Ben stiffens ever so slightly, “I do. But it’s ok. We don’t really care about that whole destiny thing. It’s unconventional but you know…” he trails off.

RM takes a deep breath and rolls up his sleeve. “I have the matching soulmark. I was in a coma for 2 days. I need to speak to her doctor immediately.” NEXT CHAPTER

[thedramaclubs]

Changing lives (reprise)

Summery: Roman and Remus get the rest of the reviews and it was horrible that it closed their show. They soon meet one of their old friends and Remus’s husband meets them and soon they find something on Twitter to change their lives

Ships: Logicality, Prinxiety, demus/dukeceit

When their singing

Remus-green

Roman-red

Janus-orange

C!thomas-pink

All-purple

“The rest of the reviews are in! New York post, associated press, New York times” exclaimed Joan with ther phone in the air everyone started to get excited and looked on their phones as Roman and Remus are about to listen to how great their musical is........or so they thought.

Everyone’s faces changed to a sad and disappointed look and started leaving

“What? What’s happening?” said Roman as he watch everyone look at him and his brother in sadness.

“This is not a review anyone wants when you have shitty advance sales. This is gonna close us” said Joan

Roman gasp and Remus was shocked “What didn’t they like was it the hip hop?”

“Yeah but not that”

“For gods sake sakes Joan read it.” The twins sat down as Joan read the horrible reviews.

“Ok here’s the highlights, “Remus Allen’s FDR might just be the most insulting misguided, offensive, and laughable performance that this reviewer has ever had the squirming misfortune to endure. Emphasis on the insulting because he try to make him self look like that he was trying to give me intrusive thoughts about FDR.”

“That’s how I normally look what the hell?!?!”

“I mean it’s not so bad” said Roman as he played with his dress

“DO HIM ALREADY!!” “What I’m just saying.”

“Watching Romans Eleanor Roosevelt, corking out a heavy-handed message of activism, is like paying an aging drag queen to shove a syurp-soaked American flag down my throat. And also Eleanor should have been played by a women”

Roman was on the verge of tears “Thats not criticism that’s a personal attack.” His voice cracked and Remus hugged him as he shed a tear

“If your considering buying a ticket to the show do yourself a favor. By a few feet of good heavy rope instead and then go hang yourself”

“Holy fuck, oh god, poopy. Was the show that bad?”

“It’s not the show it’s you two. Your just not likeable.”

“What?” They said simultaneously

“Nobody likes a narcissist.” They sat in silence over what they just heard. “Leave it to me I’ll go and try to change the narrative once again” Joan then left the twins alone in the bullding

“I hate this world” “this just hurts my heart, Where did everybody go?”

They talked over each other as the walk to the bar to find a man in a pink suit. “What can I get ya?” said the man “Yola mezcal blackberry smash” said the twins at the same time. “My condolences Roman. But remember you do have friends” said the man making their drinks.”

“Thank you. Who are you?”

“Thomas Sanders.......we’ve done five shows together.”

“Ugh Thomas went to Juilliard and won’t shut up about.” Whispered Remus as he told Roman “Oh right Thomas. Thomas haha....... why are you dressed like waiter?” I’m in between gigs at the moment. Honestly Roman I feel adrift as i did in my days before Juilliard” Remus proceed to chug a drink that was on the table as Thomas continued to talk about Juilliard and the two were just over it.

“Still I have played hamlet and I’m still known as that guy from the beloved early aughts sitcom “Talk to the hand” I question everything about my existence” As he continues to rant about the past what they didn’t notice as a man in a golden sequiny dress with a black hat and a yellow ribbon tied on it with long golden brown hair walking their way

“Hey guys!”

Roman and Remus turned around to see Janus Allen, Remus’s husband

“Jannie!!!” Remus picked up Janus and spun him around and soon dipped him into a kiss which turn into a make out session. “Ahem I know you two lovebirds haven’t seen each other all day but can it wait we’re still here ya know.” They both looked at Roman and giggle a little from embarrassment “Sorry your show closed on opening night again. Welcome to the world of the unemployed,hit me up next.”

“I thought you were in Chicago?” asked Remus “I totally didn’t quit just now 20 years in the chorus and still wouldn’t let me play Roxie Hart and now their letting Tina Louise play her” “That bitch is still alive” said Remus as he chugs another drink

“We’re wasting our lives.” Said Roman as they are all slightly drunk “Ok I refuse to give up we’re still celebrities we still have power.” “Yeah well The Times casted you out” said Thomas as he poured another drink “Yep they wrote you off as aging narcissist and I’m only allowed to call Remus that.” “I still don’t understand what’s wrong with that.” Said Roman as he drinks even more. “You know what we will become celebrity arsonist.” “Babe it’s call celebrity activist we are not burning down another building like last time.” “Ok everyone think of causes.”

“Poverty”

“World hunger”

“Too big we need something we can handle”

“Let’s see whats trending” said Janus “Trump, trump, trump, ooo how about this boy he’s all over Twitter. His names Patton Heart. He’s from edgewater, Indiana. He’s gay. He wanted to take his boyfriend to the highschool prom and the pta went apeshit and canceled it.”

We are now in Edgewater, Indiana and Patton Heart is watching the head of the pta, Mrs Green being interviewed. “We have very strict rules for prom. Young ladies must wear non-revealing dresses. Young men must wear suits or tuxes. And if a student chooses to bring a date it must be of the opposite sex” “Can’t you just ban this student?” “Well we’ve been advised that there may be some legal repercussions if we prevent this boy from attending so although it breaks my heart we have no choice to cancel prom.” We move to Mr Virgil Hawkins the principal “The first thing I’m going to do is contact the state attourney this is not about school rules this is a civil right case.” “Wait seriously?” Said Patton. “Yes and if word gets out people will get mad and next thing you know some modern day Eleanor Roosevelt is gonna come and hell’s gonna break loose.”

We move back to New York “We got to go down their and raise holy hell” exclaimed Roman “We’ll be the biggest thing to happen to Indiana since........whatever’s happen in Indiana are you with me!?!” Said Remus as he and Roman start stand on top of a table they all cheered “We’ll get Joan to tag along to find us a venue” “I just book us a non-union tour of Godspell and I goes through Indiana we can ride on the bus.” Said Thomas “Can we do this guys” Said Janus “You bet your sweet MILF ass we can jannie”

🎶 We are gonna prove that in this day and age being gay isn’t a crime. This is out moment to change the world one homo 🎶

🎶Homo🎶

🎶Homo 🎶

🎶Homo🎶

🎶At a time🎶

🎶 we’re gonna help that little homo, whether he likes it or not, when your a legendary thespian 🎶

🎶First you help the distressed 🎶

🎶Then you help the distraught🎶

🎶We’re gonna go to where the necks are red and lack of dentistry thrives, Why sing and dance when you can take a stance🎶

🎶And know your truly changing lives. We’re gonna March until that town looks like the end of act one in les mis. You don’t gotta have a Ph.D in psych to know that people kowtow to the folks in the biz🎶

🎶We’re gonna teach’em to be more PC the minute or group arrives🎶

🎶That’s right🎶

🎶Those fist-pumping🎶

🎶Bible-thumping🎶

🎶Spam-eating🎶

🎶Cousin-humping🎶

🎶Cow-tipping🎶

🎶Shoulder-slumping🎶

🎶Tea-bagging🎶

🎶Jesus-jumping🎶

🎶Losers and their inbred wives. They’ll learn compassion🎶

🎶And better fashion🎶

🎶Once we at last start changing lives!!!!🎶

🎶Now let’s go help that dyke🎶

People to tag/ @artissijules

This took a long time to write

[the-final-sif]

What kind of lies would personality swapped katsuki spread to the media tho? I'm just trying to imagine katsuki going back to normal and suddenly strangers are asking questions about things that never happened and he just wants to punch other-personality-bakugou so badly

So, personality swapped Katsuki still has roughly the same goals as regular Katsuki, just much more… flexible…. morals. Katsuki has already had a number of bad experiences with the media and holds a decent amount of resentment over how reporters treated him, particularly after the sludge villain/sports festival.

As such, the lies he tells the media while personality swapped are designed to fuck with the media rather than anything that would come back on him personally. Namely, lies that make the reporter interviewing him look ridiculous, but are nearly impossible to verify as lies. Also, things that aren’t exactly lies so much as him purposefully misinterpreting the reporter’s purpose. 

Some favorites include;

One reporter starts asking invasive questions about his personal life/who he’s dating and won’t take no for answer, so Katsuki decides to take it as the 30 or so year old reporter hitting on him. He flips the entire thing around extremely effectively, on live TV, with watery eyes + calling the woman a creep + playing to the audience very well. The reporter is almost fired over it, and as a result it’s a solid 5 years before any other reporters ask Katsuki about his romantic life.

A reporter asks Katsuki about heroes who inspired him, and Katsuki says he was inspired by a fake hero, who he completely makes up. He mentions that they’re very underground/obscure so not a lot of people know this hero, but that they helped him as a child. The media/internet goes fucking nuts trying to figure out who this hero is, and it gets to be such a big deal that even villains/the hero commission get super confused trying to find records of this hero??? Only nobody can find anything??? How good at being underground are they???

One reporter, after having Katsuki pause to answer questions and having just gotten their cameras going; “ Okay, so, you’re Katsuki Bakugou, the UA Student who was kidnapped last summer, correct?”

Katsuki, who is very obviously Katsuki; “Nope.”

Reporter, taken aback/confused; “Oh uh- You’re not. You’re not Katsuki Bakugou?”

Katsuki, a Normal Human Smile on his Face; “I am not.”

Reporter, increasingly concerned; “Are you… A different UA student then?”

Katsuki, who is in a UA uniform, that is very obviously a UA uniform, standing outside of UA; “I am not. I have never been to UA before.”

Reporter, very concerned and confused now; “Oh, I guess- um, sorry for wasting your time- I think we got you mixed up with someone else, thank you for talking with us-”

Katsuki; “Have a nice day!” *proceeds to walk into UA, using his UA student ID, still wearing his UA uniform.*

[bigfootwrites]

Danse Macabre: Adventures of Mr Mulder and Dr Scully (3/ )

AO3 link because I no longer have the Tumblr links. 

This is dark (as a fic) so it might not be everyone’s cup of tea which is cool. Also, if you’re not Mulder and Scully I’m going to have creative freedom with you.

@today-in-fic @mypanicface let me know if you want to be tagged.

- - - 

WHY CHILDREN? 

“I want access to Duane Barry!”

Skinner’s head lifts to the door, an interviewee spins in his chair.

An interview is taking place. An interview Mulder has seemed to have interrupted.

But Mulder does not care. He challenges Skinner, silently demanding his access to the man be granted.

“Excuse us,” Skinner says to his interviewee. A hand his placed on Mulder’s arm, forcefully leading him out of the office.

“Why have I been denied access to Duane Barry?” Mulder asks.

Skinner shakes his head. “An order was sent down from the top,” the other man says. “It was out of my control.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me?” Mulder blazes. “I was just meant to find out when I got there.” His voice rises, catching the attention of a few other detectives close by.

Skinner quietens his voice when he speaks.

“I intended on telling you earlier but then I got stuck with this.” He gestures towards his office to where the interviewee sits inside.

Mulder looks that way, seeming to understand that Skinner wasn’t the one to be angry with here and nods.

“Is there anything you can do about it?” He asks. “You asked me on this case, after all.”

Skinner shakes his head.

“I heard they wanted to keep this to police business.”

Police business, Mulder thinks. Keep it to police business so they can wrap it up and chuck it away.

Skinner sighs and Mulder knows his time is up yet before they go their separate ways, Skinner calls to him.

“I’ll see if I can fix this, Mulder.”

Mulder nods, though he doesn’t get his hopes up.

.:.:.:.:.:.

A body beneath the sheets. Medical instruments perfectly laid out in a line on a tray. Mulder eyes the knife-looking one, picks it up, plays with it, cuts his finger, and drops it onto the floor in response.

He sucks his finger into his mouth.

What made him come here, he is unsure.

“Do you not have work to do, Mr Mulder?” She’s asking upon seeing him sitting there.

As she nears, he notices the cut she was sporting on her lip a few days ago has all but healed. She smiles at him and it doesn’t look like it hurts to smile anymore.

“That would depend upon your definition of what my work is,” he says. “I’ve been denied access to Duane Barry so I can’t do that.” One of her eyebrows quirks up in question but he doesn’t answer it. “If you mean my other work…Yes, I love walking around a mental institution stopping little children from bashing their heads against a wall because Mommy dearest didn’t tell them they loved them when they went to bed every night.”

It’s cynical to say that of a place he should be proud of. He helps children get better, bloom into functioning adults who learned how to hide their flaws. Yes, he should be very proud of himself.

It’s the anger, he tells himself. He’s just angry.

Scully doesn’t comment on his little outburst, she just looks down towards his finger that was still in pain and now aching.

“You’re bleeding,” she says.

Yes, he is, thank you for noticing.

Mulder holds his bloodied and dripping finger up.

“Do you have anything?” he asks.

Scully spies the cause of his wound on the floor.

After picking it up, she walks to a cupboard taking out some pieces of cloth. She returns, reaching for his hand and bringing it towards her.

“Did your mother never tell you not to play with sharp objects?” she asks as she applies pressure to the wound.

Mulder watches his finger.

“My mother never told me she loved me,” he answers with too much blasé. “I might have been referencing myself earlier on.”

A flit of a smile appears across her face. She moves onto wrapping his finger up.

“You are very strange, Mr Mulder.”

Mulder smiles, looking up at her as she finally ties the cloth securely around his finger. He likes her. He likes her a lot.

“Can I take you to lunch, Dr Scully?”

.:.:.:.:.:.:.

She’s dressed in black even on such a hot day as this, like she’s always in mourning.

And Mulder supposes somebody who cuts into people for a living would be.

Her auburn hair is tied back into a bun, a hat sits nicely atop her head. She sits with her back up straight, eats daintily from the food on her plate, acts very much like a woman of high standing.

Acts.

Mulder knows that’s not the case.

Middle class is too high for her. Slums? No, that was too low. Slightly higher up. If she ran around bare foot it was of her own choosing.

Her grandfather was Irish, maybe even her father if her accent was anything to go by but she was very much born in New York. Not the city, outside of it. The smaller towns. With guidance, she was killing chickens at the ripe age of seven. By nine she was Chief Chicken Killer, ringing their necks and cutting them up herself. Later, she would do this for a living- the cutting at least. To feed her family. To help serve justice. All for the greater good.

And she’s beaten at home for it.

Mulder didn’t need a gift to know that.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“I’m not doing anything,” he answers calmly with a sip of his tea.

“Stop it,” she demands.

“Stop what?” he asks.

A sigh.

“Ask me.”

He is confused.

“Ask you?”

“Ask me the question you’ve been dying to ask me.”

She’s lost him.

“I don’t know what that question is,” he says placing down his tea. Truly.

Another sigh. She looks out of the window. If it were dark, she would see her own reflection. She frowns, a shadow passing across her face.

“You pity me,” she says.

“I certainly do not,” Mulder says with a shake of his head. “You are more than capable.”

She looks at him, trying to suss him out.

“So why did you ask me for lunch?”

He shrugs.

“I think you’re an interesting person.”

“You don’t know me.”

Mulder grins.

“Let’s see…You’re name is Dana Katherine Scully. You trained as a doctor and you are a pathologist for the New York City Police Department. You talk to dead bodies like they’re still alive and then proceed to cut into them. I would say that makes you interesting.”

That eyebrow rises again. This time, curious.

“Is that all?” she asks as if she’s waiting for something else.

“What do you mean?”

She laughs as if he’s playing, quietly, so people don’t hear her.

“You’re not as unknown as you think you are, Mr Mulder.”

Mulder swallows, feeling nervous.

.:.:.:.:.:.

This part of ‘lunch’ was completely spontaneous.

Neither of them have any important matters to attend to and besides, Mulder was enjoying her company.

It turns out she isn’t so unknown either. People seem to look at them as they walk through the street, gawking and muttering to whoever is closest to them. Gossiping, Mulder remembers it’s called. He wants to get inside their heads, find out what’s so interesting about the pair.

Scully walks with her head held high, uncaring for the stares, it’s almost like she doesn’t notice them.

They catch a cab the rest of the way, shielding them from any more whispers or stares.

Mulder keeps their destination a secret for reasons unknown to even himself until the tall, iron gates appear before them, words written: Golden Heights Psychiatric Hospital for Children.

“Your asylum?” Scully asks, both intrigued and confused as to why she’s been brought here.

“The best children’s asylum in the country, I’ve heard.”

It earns him a smile from her and he helps her from the carriage.

“So why have you brought me here?” Scully asks as Mulder unlocks the gate.

“I don’t really know myself.” The gate unlocks and he allows her to enter first, holding it open so she can walk through, closing and locking it behind him. “It’s been a while. I wanted to check if things were still running smoothly.”

Scully nods and they make their way up the path towards the hospital. Four storeys tall it stands. It was wide, too, the end unseeable from their vantage point currently.

It was one of the biggest hospitals in the city, a house that once belonged to some fancy man who’s name Mulder doesn’t care to remember. It’s his now. For better or for worse.

As they near the building, it’s residents begin to appear. All children as the establishment would suggest, all of different ages. Mulder takes in children from the ages of five to seventeen. They leave, soon after they turn eighteen and rarely does Mulder ever hear from them again.

They play. Running around after a ball, playing with skipping ropes or hopscotch. They look normal. Mulder wants them to feel normal.

“Live patients,” Scully is saying, looking at the children as they pass.

“Makes a change to dead ones?”

She looks at him.

“You can’t cut their brains open and peer inside.”

Mulder shakes his head. “No, you cannot.”

He spies a staff member exiting out into the yard. He can get what he came for and they can go again.

“Excuse me,” he says to Scully and wanders over to his employee.

Dana is left in the yard. She glances around at all the children who play, unsure what to do with herself.

As her eyes scan the area, she sees a little girl about seven sat on her own. She’s playing with something, a boardgame maybe.

“Hello,” Dana says to the girl. Why she wandered over to this one, she’s not sure. There was something about her, her short strawberry blonde hair or the way she sat alone, playing by herself whilst the other children played with each other.

“I’m Dana,” Dana continues. “What are you playing?” She wonders around to stand in front of the girl.

Before her is a checkerboard. The little girl moves a red piece, there’s nobody around to move the black.

Dana finds herself kneeling before the girl.

“Do you need someone to play with?” she asks.

The girl shakes her head. “I have someone to play with,” she proclaims.

“Who?”

The little girl’s eyes move towards an empty space next to Dana, before moving back to lock onto Dana again.

“Elizabeth,” says the girl.

Dana smiles. “Do you play with Elizabeth a lot?”

But the little girl is frowning.

“She doesn’t like it when you say her name.”

An uneasiness overcomes Dana, her smile falters, and she shifts her legs beneath her.

“Right. Sorry.” The smile is back. “Do you and your friend play together often?”

But the girl isn’t listening. She’s looking to where ‘Elizabeth’ is sitting, her face looking conflicted.

Wanting to help the child, Dana asks, “What’s wrong?”

The girl swallows and licks her lips, her eyes drifting over to Dana’s.

“Elizabeth said I have to hurt you.”

Dana’s blood goes cold.

.:.:.:.:.:.

A few patients causing trouble here and there but, for the most part, the hospital was functioning well.

Mulder thanks the staff member and his eyes drift over to where he left Scully. She’s gone from the place they were standing but not too far. He finds her sitting on the grass, talking to a girl.

His blood goes cold when he realises who that girl is.

Keeping his cool, Mulder strides towards them, his stomach coiling and heart beating fast.

He reaches the pair in no time, just in time, a gently taps the small girl on her shoulder.

“Emily,” Mulder says and the girl turns towards him. “I think it’s time you should go in now.”

Emily nods, picking up her checkerboard. She’s about to run inside when Mulder stops her.

“Take Elizabeth with you.”

“Come on, Elizabeth,” says Emily before disappearing off.

Mulder looks to Scully still sitting on the ground, looking shaken. He holds out his hand, helping her up.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

She smooths the grass stains from her skirt.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve known.”

Mulder shakes his head. “No, Emily is very deceiving.”

He guides them over to a nearby bench and they sit, watching the other children play.

“Before Emily was brought here,” Mulder begins. “She had been found as the only surviving member of her family. They had all been killed except her.” He hears Scully suck in a breath. “They never told me the specifics but when Emily was asked to tell the police what had happened, she told them that her friend Elizabeth had killed them all.” He glances a look at Scully, she’s listening intently, her fingers laced together and fidgeting. “It was realised quickly that ‘Elizabeth’ didn’t exist. Emily had killed them. And so Emily was brought to me.”

There’s no sound from Scully and Mulder has to physically check she is still there.

“How…” Scully starts. “How old was she?”

“She was five.”

A breath is released. “Poor girl,” says Scully.

It surprised Mulder but perhaps it shouldn’t have.

“You’re the first to have that reaction.” He reaches over and squeezes her hand before looking back out to the yard. “Not all the children are like Emily. Most are brought to me because they have behavioural problems or they begin acting out sexual tendencies too early. Some cry too often or don’t cry at all. It depends on the parent.” He looks back at her to find she’s still listening. He shrugs. “Not every child is an Emily yet some people seem to think they are.”

Sometimes it made Mulder sad to think of all the children who had been brought to him, that if they just had different parents, they wouldn’t be in this situation.

“Why children?” Scully is asking. “Why do you specialise in children?”

He smiles. “For the same reason I believe in aliens and UFOs.”

Scully, rightly, is confused.

But that was a story for another time.

Mulder stands, holding out his hand again.

“Let me take you home,” he says and Scully is reaching for his hand immediately.

“Please.”

Together, they walk back towards the gate, as the whistle sounds, and all the children run back inside.