#she is not interested in a narrative. she is interested in survival. she is interested in avoiding consequences for past mistakes but

[grimoiremanifest]

to whoever sent me the ask abt my gender identity (i forgot the exact wording but it was along the lines of "so...how's that 'cis guy' thing coming along" but phrased more politely), i think tumbr ate your ask when i tried to save a draft And I Fucking Lost My Long Ass Response but yes the long and short of it is that i am very confidently a Cis Dude, BUT not for a lack of questioning and experimenting! i still ended up preferring being a Masc Guy, but by my own definition and nobody else's. Like, the best way I could put it is that experimenting didn't really break an egg, but it certainly did radicalize me about gender identity. (Although like 70% of my friends being gender freaks did most of the heavy lifting, probably)

i have actually spent a lotta time thinking abt my experience with it as a whole and my own, so if you'll excuse me i am about to go on a Mother Fuckin Tangent About My Cis Ass Evaluating His Gender. apologies if this is way more than you bargained for when you asked lmao

basically i went through a pretty self-loathing period in my life where i basically just Did Not care for myself or my identity, hated my appearance, and thought everyone hated me. As I came out of that and actually started socializing (and notably, with mostly queer ppl lmao) i still didnt feel Right about myself so i tried a variety of things but nothing really moved the needle of "this is who i am" or "this is who i want to be".

Eventually i realized that one of the reasons why i felt so shitty about myself and wasnt sure of my identity was because i was DELIBERATELY SURPRESSING MYSELF FROM ACTUALLY LIKE...EXPRESSING MYSELF. i hardly socialized with anyone, i only dressed in gym shorts n shit, i didn't brush my hair, i didn't pursue ANY hobbies that i wanted to pursue, and i was always scared abt sharing my interests with people WHICH IS PROLLY WHY I DIDNT HAVE ANY GODDAMN FRIENDS!!!! so! i actually started TALKING to people and DOING THINGS and DRESSING AWESOMELY (i actually found a sickass jacket around this time period and i still have it and love it very much, when i find a photo ill post it) and ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT WHAT I WANNA DO IN LIFE and EVALUATING MY TASTES AND WHY I LIKE STUFF and ACTUALLY TALKED ABOUT THE STUFF I LIKED WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT BEING SHUNNED.

so one thing led to another and this whole self-actualization thing culminated when i showed up late to a meeting with a buncha friends in a pretty good-ass fit and an awesome cut and they fuckin LOVED it. ALL the classic Bro Talk yknow and that shit was positively ELECTRIFYING. Finally felt like i was being myself and wasn't like, acting or just shutting down. Solidified who I was to me and only myself. I get insane gender euphoria when i got that masc shit on like i love it it's crack to me. i wanna be THAT DUDE i wanna be THE MAN HIMSELF and i wanna be Just A Little Guy.

another reason: i did not like my birthname. so i just changed it. like i did not know you could do that and it made me really happy whenever i get called griffin :))))))

and the final reason. this is gonna sound dumb if you're not Enlightened but bear with me here: i was unhappy with my body because i am A Fucking Furry and didn't want to admit it at the time. BUT I WILL NOW!!! I WANT TO BE AN ANTHRO WOLF I WANT PAWS INSTEAD OF FEET I WANT A FUCKIN ScHNOUT i want BIG EARS THAT CAN HELP INDICATE MY EMOTIONS god DAMN it....but until science progresses i can tolerate looking like a pretty hot guy until then.

So. Yea. Im very dude. My gender is Just A Little Guy. Im alsl very tired rn so sorry if that got like weaker as it went on but who cares its me being EEAL and HONEST. thank, you for asking as you can tell i have thought many a time about this

[bread-wizards]

I wonder if Dorian's views towards the gods could best be summed up as something like, "I wish my family didn't have to die for [their] brighter tomorrow."

[shrikeseams]

sometimes i think about how comprehensively the whole statute of miriel situation proved to finwe's whole entire family that his love and regard was entirely conditional and i just. step aside morgoth i am coming at him with a baseball bat.

[aardvaark]

i was kinda hoping for mistynat to be a thing in yellowjackets because they reminded me a little of root & shaw from person of interest, but then the end of season 2 happened and they unfortunately are a bit too much like root & shaw from person of interest lmao

[izloveshorses]

it’s so beautiful to me that what triggers anya’s memory of her past isn’t some big national secret or something inherently tied to the politics of her family or even her social class, it’s just a simple sensory detail of sitting in a carriage on a hot day and catching sight of a boy running after them

[fiapple]

literally, i love nami so much, you do not even understand. you cannot begin to fathom.

[globodamorte]

chasing tails spoilers if anyone cares about that

can u imagine if Taeyeon was the killer and she was sooo fucking out of touch with reality and just wanted to be famous and rich so she murders her friends to try to ride on the tragedy to make money afterwards.

[nunyabznsbabes]

Katniss is like Lucy Gray this, Katniss is like Sejanus that, and yes fine that's all good and true and lovely but Katniss Everdeen is also a direct parallel to Coriolanus Snow and people NEED to start talking about this because it's driving me crazy.

Think about it: they both grew up poor and deeply vulnerable, losing parents at a very young age, with a matriarchal adult (Katniss' mother and Coriolanus' Grandma'am) who fails to provide for them emotionally and physically. They intimately understand the threat of starvation, even developing with stunted growth because of it, and their narrations in the books share a fixation on food. Throughout their childhoods, both experienced constant fear and suffered a fundamental lack of control over their circumstances. Because of this, they're inherently suspicious of the people around them. They resent feeling indebted to others, especially those who have saved their lives. They're motivated almost entirely by family and deeply connected to their communities. Both are used and manipulated by the Capitol, both are forced to perform to survive and despise every inch of it, both are thrown into the Arena and made to kill. Both have a self-sacrificial, genuinely sweet sister figure acting as their conscience. Peeta and Lucy Gray - performers and love interests with a fundamental kindness and sense of hope about them - fulfill markedly similar roles in their narrative. Both contribute to the development of the future Hunger Games, Snow throughout tbosas and Katniss towards the end of Mockingjay.

It's easy to ignore these similarities because, as mirrors of each other, they are exact opposites. Katniss is from District 12, viewed and treated as less than human; Snow is the cream of the Capitol crop, given the privilege of a name with social weight, an ancestral home, and the opportunity of the Academy despite having no more money than a miner from 12. Katniss has no agency over her life, and responds by being kind whenever she's able, while Snow justifies horrendous evils in order to continue his quest for complete control. Katniss does everything she can to protect her family; Snow does everything he can to protect his family's image as an extension of his own ego. Katniss loves her District and connects with its inhabitants on a meaningful level, but Snow is indifferent at best to his peers - the apparent "superior people" - and only engages with his community for personal gain. Katniss emerges from the Arena horrified at herself and the system, but Snow takes his trauma and turns it into an excuse to perpetuate the violence with himself at the top. Katniss cares for Prim until her death and then snaps at the loss of her little sister, while Snow survives on Tigris' blood, sweat, and tears and then torments and abandons her, presumably because she calls him out on his insanity. Snow actively adds to and popularizes the Hunger Games because of his vendetta against the Districts following his childhood wartime trauma - Katniss briefly agrees to a new Hunger Games (which is arguably a facade to trick Coin), but later definitively stops them from happening by killing Coin and choosing a life of peace and privacy. Snow is obsessed with revenge, but Katniss empathizes with the Capitolites and does what she can to keep them from suffering. He exists in a cruel system and selfishly upholds it; she exists in a cruel system and works to dismantle it for the good of her family and community, at great personal cost. And Peeta and Lucy Gray are incredibly similar, but Katniss and Peeta forge a relationship of genuine love and understanding that shines in comparison to Coriolanus' obsessive projection onto Lucy Gray.

So, yeah, Katniss is Lucy Gray haunting Coriolanus. But I bet you anything that eighty-something year old President Snow looks at her, the girl on fire, and thinks that he sees the ghost of his own past: bright and young and brilliant, emerging from a childhood of starvation with a relentless hunger for success, a talented and charming performer helping her win the Games. And that's why he's so afraid of her! Because if he sees himself in her, then he's up against his own cunning, his own talent for manipulation, his own charisma, his own genius. He reads her wrong, obviously, but it means that in his mind he's up against the version of himself that he could have been, with the nightmare army of his childhood at her back and her star-crossed lover at her side, spewing Sejanus' truths in his own voice. This isn't to say that Katniss ever achieved the level of power and agency that Coriolanus did during her time with the rebellion, but it is to say that Snow was taken down by what truly terrified him - his own morality, come to finish the job.

[ari-ana-bel-la]

Hey could you write maybe more of dad carlos maybe drive to survive and little yn steals the show at 3 years old

Drive to Survive the Yn show

Carlos had known from the moment he opened his front door at the crack of dawn that this weekend was going to be a long one. The Drive to Survive crew stood outside, cameras already rolling, lights glaring, and all Carlos could do was stare at them with an unimpressed expression, arms crossed over his chest.

“Good morning, Carlos!” one of the producers greeted him cheerfully.

He sighed, stepping aside to let them in. “Is it?”

The crew laughed, mistaking his sarcasm for good humor. He shuffled towards the kitchen, rubbing his face as he tried to wake up properly. He was used to early mornings, but this? Being filmed first thing in the morning in his own house? This was excessive.

Carlos moved around the kitchen with practiced ease, grabbing eggs, bread, and fresh fruit while the cameras hovered around him. He knew how this worked—every word, every glance could be twisted into a narrative of Netflix’s choosing.

As he cracked eggs into a pan, soft footsteps signaled that Rebecca had woken up. His wife appeared in the doorway, still dressed in pajamas, hair a little messy from sleep. She paused at the sight of the cameras and gave Carlos a knowing look.

“Oh no,” she muttered, making her way over to him. “They caught you before coffee?”

Carlos huffed. “Sí. I think they planned it.”

The crew chuckled again, but Rebecca ignored them as she reached for a cup and poured herself coffee, sighing in satisfaction as she took her first sip. “Well, at least they get to see the real you.”

Carlos smirked. “Which version? Grumpy pre-coffee Carlos or amazing chef Carlos?”

“Both,” she teased, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before hopping onto the counter to watch him cook.

It wasn’t long before more footsteps echoed down the hallway. His parents had arrived. Reyes greeted the cameras with her usual warm smile, unfazed by their presence, while Carlos Sr. simply gave them a polite nod before making a beeline for the coffee machine.

And then, the real star of the morning made her appearance.

Rebecca turned her head as the sound of tiny, tired whimpers came from the staircase. “There she is,” she murmured, shifting off the counter to meet their daughter.

Little Yn, still half-asleep, clung to her mother’s shoulder, her curls a messy halo around her head. She buried her face in Rebecca’s neck, only peeking out when she realized something was different.

The cameras.

Carlos put down the spatula and walked over, effortlessly taking Yn into his arms. “Oh, mi amor, still sleepy?”

Yn made a tiny noise of agreement and nuzzled against his chest. Carlos instinctively cradled her closer, rubbing her back. “It’s okay, go back to sleep, baby,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Rebecca looked at the Netflix crew and smirked. “I think you’ve lost your main character.”

She was right. The cameras were no longer focused on Carlos. They had all shifted to Yn, who was curled up against her father, completely unbothered by the world.

Carlos shook his head. “Figures.”

By the time they arrived at the circuit, Carlos had accepted his fate. This was no longer his documentary episode—this was Yn’s.

The moment their little family stepped out of the car, the fans erupted.

“CARLOS!”

“REBECCA!”

“YN!”

Carlos blinked. He turned to Rebecca, who raised an eyebrow. “She has fans now?”

Rebecca grinned. “Obviously. She’s adorable.”

Yn, meanwhile, was unbothered by the attention, happily munching on a strawberry as they made their way through the paddock. The cameras continued following them, but they seemed less interested in Carlos preparing for his home race and more in his three-year-old daughter discovering the world around her.

At one point, Yn gasped, dropping her strawberry. “¡Mariposa!”

Carlos followed her gaze to see a small yellow butterfly fluttering near the McLaren motorhome. Before he could react, Yn took off running.

Or at least, what counted as running for a three-year-old.

“Dios,” Carlos muttered, already following her. The cameras, of course, were rolling.

Yn giggled as she “chased” the butterfly, tiny legs moving as fast as they could. The butterfly barely even noticed her, lazily floating through the air as if playing a game with her.

“Papá, so fast!” Yn announced proudly.

Carlos snorted. “Yes, super fast, mi vida.”

He caught her just before she could stumble, lifting her into his arms. She giggled, still reaching for the butterfly.

Behind them, Charles appeared, laughing. “She’s faster than you in slow corners, mate.”

Carlos rolled his eyes. “Not now, Charles.”

Charles grinned at Yn. “You remember Roscoe and Leo, right?”

Yn blinked up at him, thoughtful. “Sí.”

“Well, they remember you too,” Charles assured her.

Carlos snorted. “Charles, they are dogs.”

Charles ignored him. “Do you want to say hi next time I visit?”

Yn nodded excitedly. “Yes! Leo soft.”

“See? She gets it.” Charles ruffled her curls, earning another giggle before he walked off.

The Netflix cameras were still following, capturing every second.

Carlos sighed. “This is not about me anymore.”

Rebecca patted his back. “You’re just realizing that now?”

Between media duties, meetings, and race prep, Carlos kept an eye on his daughter. It was a habit at this point—he could be mid-conversation with his engineers, but a small movement from Yn in the corner of his vision would immediately catch his attention.

At one point, while Carlos, Rebecca, Reyes, and Carlos Sr. sat in the hospitality area drinking coffee, Yn curled up in her grandfather’s lap, yawning.

Carlos Sr. smiled, running a gentle hand through her hair. “She’s tired from all the excitement.”

Rebecca reached over, stroking Yn’s cheek. “It’s been a big morning.”

Yn’s eyelids drooped. “Sleepy,” she murmured.

“Then sleep, mi amor,” her grandfather whispered, adjusting his hold so she was more comfortable.

Yn didn’t need to be told twice. She was asleep within minutes.

Carlos shook his head, watching her. “She can sleep anywhere.”

Reyes smiled. “Like you when you were little.”

The cameras, of course, filmed the whole thing.

Later, Rebecca knelt beside Yn, applying sunscreen to her delicate skin.

Yn wrinkled her nose. “Cold!”

“I know, baby,” Rebecca soothed, rubbing it in.

Yn giggled as the cream was smoothed over her arms and cheeks. She wiggled but let her mother finish, laughing when Rebecca poked her tummy playfully.

Carlos sat beside them, shaking his head with a smile. “You think sunscreen is funny, mi amor?”

Yn nodded enthusiastically. “Tickles!”

The cameras caught the entire moment. Carlos wasn’t sure if Netflix had ever filmed something so far removed from the actual racing season.

By the time the race weekend ended, Carlos wasn’t even sure why Netflix had followed him at all.

They had hours of footage of Yn—running after butterflies, giggling while getting sunscreen, falling asleep in her grandfather’s arms. The clips of him were mostly just him being a protective dad, always watching over her.

On the last day, Carlos looked at the cameras and sighed. “Are you even making a show about Formula 1 anymore?”

One of the producers grinned. “We’re just following the most interesting story of the weekend.”

Carlos groaned.

Rebecca smirked. “Told you, cariño. You’re not the main character anymore.”

Yn, sitting happily in Carlos’ lap, clapped her hands. “Me!”

Carlos sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Yes, baby. You.”

And somehow, he didn’t mind at all.

(And when the episode finally aired, the title was: “Carlos Sainz: Family Man.” He never forgave Netflix for that.)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Authors Note: Hey loves. I hope you enjoyed reading this story. My requests are always open for you.

-💙🦋

[luna-azzurra]

Emotionally Questionable but Artistically Valid Things To Do When You’re a Writer Losing the Plot (Literally or Figuratively)

Write your WIP’s obituary. “She lived a chaotic life, filled with plot holes, unresolved arcs, and one very confusing love triangle. She is survived by a Google Doc, 74 sticky notes, and a Pinterest board titled ‘vibes but make it pain.’” Bonus catharsis if you make it weirdly tender. Double bonus if you actually cry a little.

Make your WIP a dating profile. Age: Timeless. Location: Trapped in your brain since 2018. Looking for: A writer who won’t ghost me mid-draft. Interests: Slow burn tension, morally gray decisions, and long walks through traumatic backstory. Will it match with anyone? No. But you might remember why you fell in love with it in the first place.

Assign your plot holes a Hogwarts house. That one you keep ignoring? Slytherin. The subplot that’s doing too much? Hufflepuff with main character energy. The gaping logic error you swear you’ll fix later? Ravenclaw, but drunk. Somehow this helps. Somehow this feels like control.

Write a resignation letter from your genre. “Dear Fantasy, it’s not you, it’s me. Actually—it is you. The worldbuilding demands are emotionally abusive, and I just want to write messy little humans having conversations that ruin their lives.” You can always go back. Or not. You’re allowed to genre-hop like a chaotic frog with a laptop.

Host a fake podcast episode where you psychoanalyze your protagonist. Today on Therapy, But Make It Fictional, we discuss why Aiden cannot maintain a single healthy relationship, the consequences of childhood abandonment, and how trauma is not a personality trait (even though he tries). Record yourself. Don’t post it. Unless you do. I won’t stop you.

Put your WIP characters in a reality show. Big Brother: Emotional Damage Edition. Who cries first? Who forms a secret alliance? Who self-destructs on Day 2 because someone used their emotional trauma as a joke? (Yes, this is basically writing. Yes, this counts.)

Create an “Am I the Problem?” chart for your WIP. Spoiler: You’re not. The plot arc from hell is. But mapping it out like a true crime board will help. Use yarn. Use vibes. Use Google Slides if you’re a Virgo. Just externalize the chaos.

Write fanfiction… of your own book. That spicy scene you know you won’t put in because it messes with pacing? Write it. That “what if they shared a bed but didn’t touch” trope you secretly crave? Give in. You are your first fan. Be delulu. Be free.

Create a soundtrack for your villain’s redemption arc that will never happen. Include Lana Del Rey. Include Mitski. Include at least one angry violin solo. You don’t have to redeem them, but you can imagine them staring into the rain while “The Sound of Silence” plays.

Doodle your plot like a crime scene. Victim: Narrative Cohesion. Suspects: A surprise third act twist, a talking sword, and that one flashback chapter that broke the timeline. Go full corkboard-and-pushpins energy. You’ll either solve it or at least feel like an unhinged genius. Which is basically the same.

[amberautumnfaebrooke]

i think i could design a better death arena for children than those hunger games amateurs.

the whole premise of the games is all pageantry. every year you get a crop of 24 candidates around whom the entire state media apparatus dedicates an entire year to building celebrity narratives. this candidate is the younger sibling of last year's winner - these candidates are young lovers forced to compete - he's smart - she's fast - root for them, care about them, watch them, form opinions on them, bet on them. and then they stick them all in an arena to kill each other, which is a great entertainment premise, except that they make the arenas themselves really boring and generic. ooo, they're in...a forest.

it's not even an interestingly designed forest. imagine if the game designers treated their arena like an actual video game designer treats level design. discrete zones with multiple paths between each room, creative use of lighting to guide players to points of interest, points of interest scattered across the map, discoverable resources hidden to encourage exploration. instead they just have a generic outdoors location and if you get too close to the edge they throw a random fireball at you.

the 75th games are especially bad about this. the arena is laid out radially into 12 wedges, and each hour one wedge becomes especially dangerous in a 12-hour loop. as a mechanic, this is genius. it forces everyone to keep moving, making "survival by hiding" an engaging and tense viewing experience instead of someone sitting in a tree for three days. plus, it encourages players to return to the center of the arena, where travel time between wedges is short, which creates a high-value zone for players to regularly return to and conflict over. in other words, it's a mechanic which incentives players to adopt dramatic, dynamic, exciting behaviors which are entertaining to watch (not to mention it communicates geography to the audience well). but it only incentives those behaviors if the players understand what's happening, and they go out of their way not to tell the players anything! when they figure out what's going on, the showrunners spin the arena to disorient the players, like they're intentionally trying to get them to just. randomly wander the jungle instead.

this isn't even to mention how often they create undramatic, boring deaths. they plant poison berries around the arena. they supply no fresh water and no way to get it. they roll poison clouds over sleeping victims. these happen to work out in the books themselves but you have to imagine that extremely often these just result in players dying unexciting deaths.

the cardinal sin though, of course, is that nothing is done to personalize the arena for the crop of contestants that year. if i'm designing the 75th hunger games and two of my most beloved contestants famously had to cancel their wedding because of a return to the games, i would OBVIOUSLY give them a trail of, i don't know, wild game which conveniently leads directly past a well defended wedding chapel. will they hole up there for a while? hold a mock ceremony for themselves? do or receive ironic violence here? stare wistfully and move on? any of it is better television than getting attacked by generic attack monkeys. you should have a dozen of these things on the map for every single candidate. but the game makers are more interested in doing the same thing every other game has done than in telling a compelling story.

it makes me second guess enjoying the children's murder arenas at all.

[kastalani123]

Not my usual content, but I just. I wanna ramble, ig.

Do you understand how baffled I was about how the vampire book, written by a man in 1897, is essentially a PSA about how important proper communication is?? Even after I scrolled through Tumblr, saw the memes, read people geeking out about the relationships (platonic and romantic) in Dracula, I was still caught off guard, because. Like. Everything in this book is about communication.

Sure, it's kind of a given, considering it's an epistolary novel partially made up of letters between the characters, but. I dunno. From Dracula controlling Johnathan's lettres, van Hellsing refusing to tell anyone shit, the men keeping Mina out of the loop, to Mina using her telepathic link with Dracula, it's. It's literally all about how important actually talking to each other and sharing information is. Fuck, throw in the fact that "Harker", Mina and Jonathan's, arguably the main characters, last name means "to listen"/"eavesdropper", and that the book is Mina's in-universe creation to help compile, organize, and share what they know about Dracula, and the book's very essence becomes centered around information-sharing!

And I just. The narrative punishes just about every secret hidden, every time the characters don't communicate. There's the obvious, Dracula keeping Johnathan from sending out letters for help and Mina getting bitten because the men leave her home alone, but also. Van Hellsing not telling Lucy's mom that the garlic flowers and closed windows and so on are the treatment and she is not to touch them is what kills Lucy and her mom! They maybe could have survived if he just told them what's happening/what he's doing! And even the godsdamned telegram he sends to Seward! If he had just addressed it properly (communicated to the telegram boy properly!) then Seward wouldn't have been late and maybe could have prevented the massacre!

There's also Jonathan's diary right after he finally reunites with Mina, and obviously Mina's whole ✨ thing ✨ with the diary during their wedding is like. Peak romance, but Johnathan doesn't fully get better until Mina reads and shares it with van Hellsing and van Hellsing assures Johnathan that he's not insane. Sure, it's an oversimplification of PTSD and healing and such, but it makes sense, especially if you consider communication and information sharing as a major theme! Only sharing his experiences, reading through them himself after blocking off the memories, is what heals him! He cannot get better without knowing what happened, and without others knowing what happened, because knowing and sharing is important.

Renfield's also an interesting case. I don't have the book with me right now to check, but as far as I remember, he tries to talk about Dracula, tries to get Seward to release him from the asylum so Dracula can't use him against Mina, but is dismissed entirely; as a consequence, Dracula gets in the building, kills Renfield, and bites Mina.

Even the language barriers! The villagers Johnathan meets on his way to Dracula's castle try so hard to warn him of the danger but they can't. They can't, because they don't speak enough of the same language, but they try so hard. But whatever does get through to Johnathan, such as that woman begging him to take the crucifix she gives him — that might've saved him. It keeps him unsettled and wary and he does keep the crucifix, which wards Dracula off. They can't communicate the full extent of the danger, but what they managed is probably responsible for him surviving.

And the whole idea is even mentioned in-text! Sure, Lucy saying that a wife ought to share everything she knows with her husband is definitely sexism-flavoured, but Johnathan says it too! He says that his idea of an ideal marriage is one without secrets! And Johnathan is effeminate, yes, he spends a good chunk of the book as the "damsel in distress", but he is still the hero! He is still the one who kills Dracula (with Quincey), and can therefore be assumed to be an intended role model. The (male) main character and hero of an 1897 novel says that a good relationship relies on communication. Sure, he doesn't always stick to it, mostly by agreeing to keep Mina out of the loop when van Hellsing pushes for it, but that doesn't discount that that is what Stoker set as the ideal.

I just. I love this book so much. It subverted just about all expectations I might've had about it and I'm so glad for it. It's undeniably a product of its time, with plenty of racism and sexism and ableism, but it's also so. Not, at the same time? It's so good.

[cleromancy]

ive heard that prime earth brought willis back to life at some point which like i gotta be honest if it was up to me and *i* was in charge of jason I'd have been tempted too, bc the note in the file that jason finds just says Willis is suspected to have been killed by twoface--i mean the word suspected is there. and i tend to have thoughts about how jason narrative-izes willis in my headcanon, so i think that has potential even though i doubt the way dc did it actually did anything interesting with it lol.

but ultimately i actually think it would be more interesting as an exploration of Jason's character, and a way to develop him, to resurrect sheila who had indeed been very dead and force jason to deal with the fact that she, and the choices she made, was a major player in his death. i want to force jason to reckon with that, that sheila never intended for his death to be anything more than an unfortunate blip in her own story; i want to force him to look at the senselessness and be unable to make sense of it.

jus think it would be neat <3

im really such a big "jason does not touch cigarettes after his resurrection" truther bc i love the contrast btwn surrounding himself with symbols and reminders of his death, of the way he's purposely this big gaping open wound, but only in a way that fits the narrative he's trying to build for himself. he believes there's no part of that personal tragedy he hasn't or won't face, but he hasn't ever allowed himself to think about sheila haywood. if you asked him why he doesn't smoke he'd say something dismissive about how he already died inhaling smoke once, he's not in a hurry to do it a second time, and then he'd casually be hanging around in buildings he rigged to explode, no sweat. and he doesn't have any problem with the scent of cigarette smoke either, and fuck you for asking, he's only nauseous because he ate something off this morning, finish your cig he's just gotta get some air.

[brimay]

i find it really interesting that the only female characters in the hunger games books who receive no semblance of sympathy from the narrative at all are coin and... mrs. mellark.

katniss feels pity for both glimmer and clove when they die. she realizes that enobaria deserves to live on along with the rest of the surviving victors.

this just shows how much katniss adores peeta. she's beyond compassionate, even to people who have tried to kill her, but hurting peeta is where she draws the line. hurting peeta makes you as bad as a cold wannabe dictator. so real, so true.

[honey-doc]

Why I appreciate Kabru and Mithrun's relationship in the story (with pictures!)

I just want to express how much I loved reading through the chapter with the 6 days they spent together and how I think their relationship developed in a pretty sweet way.

I feel like a lot of people reduce their dynamic to "nurse and patient" and that makes me sad because I personally got a lot more from it than that.

I do wanna start off by saying I'm here appreciating their dynamic as it is in the text.

Read more (spoilers ofc):

The beginnings

When they first met, there was an air of intimidation surrounding Mithrun as the captain of the ominous Canaries. He demonstrates his proficiency as a fighter and leader which worried Kabru because he knew it would lead to the dungeon falling into elven hands once again. But this threatening aura begins to dim in Kabru's mind as they get to know each other.

Even before they fell down the hole, the both of them ended up relying on each other's abilities a number of times (when the underground governor turned out to be corrupted Mithrun defeated him and Mithrun needed Kabru's deduction skills during the battle on the first floor) which is already the beginning of a great dynamic

(Kabwu is scared but Mithrun just asks for his help)

After Cithis tasked him with "taking care of Mithrun's needs" for the time being, Kabru treated Mithrun with proper respect and doesn't take advantage of his disability, even using his title “Captain” when he knew Mithrun wouldn’t have cared either way after learning about how he lost his desires. This is in contrast to Cithis who immediately took advantage of her position to mess around with Mithrun when she was taking care of him.

(When Cithis was put in charge of taking care of Mithrun)

The whole time Kabru is with Mithrun, he treats him like a person and more than just someone to be taken care of, as also he relies on Mithrun's fighting skills, knowledge of the dungeon, and teleportation magic.

When you reduce their dynamic to just "caretaker and patient", you're ignoring Mithrun's own capabilities and making him seem totally helpless. It actually feels rather ableist. They have a more balanced relationship with what Mithrun brings to the table than you may think. Mithrun couldn't have survived down there on his own, but it's the same for Kabru (who famously dies every time he fights)!

Kabru doesn’t show signs of trying to manipulate Mithrun either, and he's no longer intimidated by him in the slightest once he learns he’s not a threat or after his life. Though he does instinctively revert to his "sparkly" persona to get Mithrun to eat the disgusting mushroom, it doesn’t work so Kabru just has him eat it normally and never tries it again. This is the beginning of Mithrun unintentionally encouraging Kabru to be more honest with others.

(Kabru realizing he can chill out)

(Kabru being unreserved and Mithrun being silly)

bonus funny moment:

Bonding

Throughout the journey they talked to each other, shared things with each other, and ate with each other. And Kabru expresses genuine concern about whether Mithrun is comfortable (which is something he could live without and wasn't something the Canaries told him to do).

(Kabru showing he wants to make him comfortable by making food for him which is a very important part of the narrative)

(Kabru sharing intimate memories with Mithrun)

(Kabru initiating conversation without hesitation or worry. This part also is referencing how Mithrun shared very important details of his life with Kabru. Kabru also ends up trusting Mithrun with information about Laios despite knowing he could possibly tell the other Canaries about him and impede his plans..which he does lol they do end up knowing about Laios before meeting him.)

For a bonus Lycion implies Kabru was taking better care of Mithrun than they had been which is interesting to me.

Mithrun also shows that he has come to trust Kabru's decisions over the Canaries' when he says he wants to stay in the dungeon after fulfilling the caretaker requirement. They did talk to each other a lot, during that time. I wonder what Mithrun's Shapeshifter double of Kabru would look like now?

Here, Kabru goes out of his way to make sure Mithrun doesn’t overexert himself by knocking him out after the demon leaves with Marcille (again, when his time taking care of him is already over), and I think that demonstrates an extra level of concern he holds for Mithrun.

(Kabru holding back a hellbent Mithrun)

(KNOCKOUT!)

He even managed to make Mithrun mad. It's probably because he "let the demon get away" but I think it's cute and funny because would he huff like that at anyone else? Lol

When the demon breaks through the surface

Kabru begins panicking after Laios turns into the giant monster because he's wondering if he made the right decisions etc. If Mithrun didn’t care about Kabru at least a little bit, he would’ve just left him alone when he started losing it (right after Marcille did the same thing and she is technically more to blame for empowering the demon than Kabru was for not allowing Mithrun to go after it), but he went out of his way to snap him out of it.

It also means a lot to me that Mithrun even says Kabru's name, because in Japanese you can go your entire life without referring to someone by name and it wouldn't sound wrong (just rude) and it's the first time Mithrun says Kabru's name on screen (I checked).

Though it was with a slap, I think it says a lot, because if Mithrun didn’t care at all he wouldn’t have done anything and left him alone. It's not like Kabru could've done anything to stop the demon. He didn't even to tell him to do anything even though Kabru looked ready for an order.

(To be honest I don't know exactly why Mithrun starts beating him up here but you can say it's another rare demonstration of emotion Kabru was able to evoke in him lol. Maybe it's payment for Kabru stopping him the first time. That can be interpreted as paying it back and/or paying it forward I think.)

The last few chapters

And in the end when Kabru’s motivating Mithrun to continue living his life, he speaks to him like they’re friends/have no rank between them despite using the Captain title for him the whole time. Even Lycion initially gets upset that he’s acting “too familiar” with Mithrun.

It feels like Mithrun changed so much in the short time he spent together with Kabru and before the final battle, and it’s thanks to Kabru that Mithrun finally starts to be able to move past his lingering obsession with the demon and begin to really heal.

This is despite the fact that he spent so much time with Milsril and the other elves who never managed to break through to him like that.

(Before Kabru) (After Kabru)

And even after his role as Mithrun's caretaker was loong complete, he still shows concern for Mithrun and tells him to take a break when he's using up all his magic to slice the Falin meat (lmao).

He didn't need to do that! But it shows how he at least slightly considers Mithrun some kind of friend.

It all culminates with Kabru helping Mithrun regain his wil to live and Mithrun confiding in Kabru. Their relationship is important. Kabru continuing to do things for Mithrun to me is more of a sign that he just plain cares about him. Isn't it normal when a friend needs medication for you to remind them to take it? I think it's like that.

Kabru is there with Mithrun when he comes out about his feelings of uselessness AND when Senshi helps him put a spin on the 'vegetable scraps' metaphor and he find meaning in his life again. He's the first one to see him cry :')

Along with the fact that it feels like Mithrun is the first person we see Kabru doesn't feel the need to change his personality with or put on airs for since Mithrun doesn't need buttering up and he won't get offended if someone were to say something socially awkward, I think they made a pretty good team!

BUT ALSO the REAL reason I became endeared to them is cute shit like this:

GOD I love them!!!!! There are so many funny sides to Mithrun Kabru was able to bring out, and really show his charm as a character. Mithrun also brings out the best in Kabru while Kabru’s the most genuine he’s been since his debut with Mithrun. We are able to see that he’s just a kind and caring person, rather than the shady obsessed guy most fans have come to believe him to be.

The true depths of their dynamic also grew on me over time :)

TLDR

All in all it’s so nice seeing how even though Mithrun is a really deadpan person, and Kabru is a really secretive and withheld person, they clearly seem to have developed some kind of bond while they traveled together and even changed each other to an extent.

Doesn't Kabru feel more honest near the end? Maybe it's because of how much he talked to and shared with Mithrun during those 6 days so candidly...because they taaaalked a looooot like wow.

They mean so goddamn much to me. I don’t need them to be in a romantic relationship but I do want them to be together forever :'))) or like at least hang out when they have off time since they're still in the same country lol. Praying for Kui to make another side comic of them some time (crying).

Thanks for reading if you made it this far, I mostly arranged this because it makes me sad to see people reduce their dynamic to only one singular aspect.

Anyways ya...love 'em (heart hands)

[avelera]

I don't think Jayce was ever the one who was against Hextech weapons. I think that was always Viktor's side of the partnership, and I think this for a few reasons:

1 ) Jayce comes from a family of tool makers. Weapons are tools. Jayce's earliest drawings of himself as a mage is him holding a magical hammer. I don't think Jayce set out to make magical weapons but I think he was always open to the idea as that drawing shows us.

2 ) Viktor comes from the undercity, which no matter how you look at when he would have left it for Piltover, was often damaged and harassed by armed Enforcers. Just based on his upbringing, Viktor would be very aware of the fact that any weapons made for Piltover will almost certainly be put in the hands of Enforcers and those will be used against people in the undercity. Jayce does not have this social awareness. I don't think Jayce was at all malicious, just naive,. According to Caitlyn, he had zero political interest before becoming a Councilor and really everything he knew or thought about the undercity came from his partnership and love for Viktor.

3 ) Jayce is genuinely torn on the need for Hextech weapons because again, this isn't a deeply held belief for him in S1, this is him being supportive of Viktor's vision for their shared dream.

Jayce let Viktor be the moral guide for something he didn't really have a strong feeling about one way or the other. This is why he's so torn in S1 when it seems like they might actually need Hextech weapons in Piltover to survive against a Shimmer-armed undercity (in a classic theme of arms race escalation and all it entails that permeates the show). The narrative demonstrates though that this is Jayce's naiveté at play to think the weapons could be used only against their intended targets. Weapons once made will always be used, including against children. Viktor already has this awareness that weapons will be used against the undercity, Jayce gains it through the attack on the Shimmer factory and the death of a child bystander who looks like Viktor. To Mel's credit, she also urges caution and backpedals on her own desire for Hextech weapons in a bid to deescalate the conflict.

4 ) In S2 Act 1, Jayce is all-in on Viktor's vision for Hextech, because he's mourning Viktor who is non-responsive in the Hex cocoon and close to death. Mel, who in 1.09 realized that Jayce and Piltover matter more to her than her mother's approval, also stands up against Hextech weapons.

5 ) But, and this is critical, Jayce has always fundamentally seen Hextech as a tool that can be used for many purposes. That's why when the situation escalates, he pushes back on Hextech weapons on a broader scale, but he is willing to bend enough to make weapons for Caitlyn and her strike team, because he loves Caitlyn and he sees this as a defensive tool to keep her safe, in my opinion, and as an alternative to a war that would be worse.

This is critical to note because Jayce doesn't have an iron spine when it comes to resisting Hextech weapons because it's not his deeply held philosophical belief the way it is for Viktor. It is a received belief that he holds to honor Viktor, out of love for him, and that can be swayed if the specter of protecting another loved one arises. Jayce is wildly conflicted about this, I believe, based on his expression in the forge after he makes Caitlyn's gun, but this is a man who cannot bear the thought of losing another loved one after everything he has gone through.

Hextech was always about love for Jayce, not philosophy, because he is not ideologically driven and never has been, it was always Viktor's ideals he was supporting and he would never fight as hard on that point as Viktor would as a result.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk ;P