#should they be nonbinary I haven’t really decided

[idontwasteink]

TUMBLR I AM LEARNING HOW TO CROCHET CHEER FOR INK BY REBLOGING

[inawickedlittletown]

What Do You Mean, A Plane (BuckTommy) - 8x03 coda

Read on Ao3

“I really hope those idiots get a huge fine,” Tommy said. 

Lucy bumped her shoulder against him. “I think they will.” 

“How many incidents like this is it going to take before people figure out that it isn’t a good idea to use a freaking explosive to find out the sex of their baby?” Tommy asked. 

Lucy sighed. “In premise it’s a cute concept if it’s like a cake with pink or blue frosting inside but it has gotten out of hand.” 

“And what if the kid is nonbinary? Or trans? Then what, the parents went through all this trouble just to then realize that they were wrong the whole time. I just don’t get it. And considering how dumb they and their offspring are likely to be, what if they go and have a different gender reveal and set off another fire even when they’re told that the dry climate isn’t the time or place to do something like this.” 

“You’re just a grump today, aren’t you,” Lucy said with a grin. “Lighten up, I think we should be good to go home in a bit. And hey, at least now I know I’m not expecting a gender reveal party whenever you and Buck wind up having kids.” 

Tommy decided to ignore her second statement. It was way too soon to think about kids even if Tommy could picture it. 

Lucy gave him a nudge. “Too early?” 

“We haven’t even moved in together yet. Yes, too early.” 

“Yes, but you want him to move in, don’t you.” 

She was not wrong. Evan was at his house all the time as it was, but the times when he wasn’t it felt emptier and far more quiet than Tommy preferred. 

“That’s not a denial,” Lucy said. “Come on, Kinard, this was not that bad.” 

It wasn’t. Tommy had been in the air to start dropping retardant and also helping smokejumpers get to the fire from the inside. Then, he’d been told to bring the copter down and join the ground crew. He’d found Lucy there. 

“Any idea why they brought us down?” She’d asked. 

“I guess they needed more hands down here,” Tommy said, but took note that there were no other helicopters or jets flying over the fire.

It had been a long day, but the fire was basically out, some smoke still rising into the sky. He really did think going home sounded perfect. It’d be even better if Evan was there, but Evan was on shift probably still dealing with calls related to the killer bees. Evan had said the weather had likely sent them on their way and Tommy supposed the smoke from the forest fire had calmed them too. Probably. No more bee-nados. 

When they did get cleared to go, Tommy just let out a huge yawn. Maybe it was the lack of sleep making him feel grumpy. Except that he would still be pissed at stupid people and gender reveal parties if he was fully rested. He and Lucy wound up hitching a ride with another company and they were all far too tired to talk to each other. 

Tommy checked his phone instead of making small talk. There were a few emails. Promotional garbage, a couple of bills that were on autopay and a few other random things. Nothing that required his attention. Evan hadn’t called or texted since the morning, but Tommy had seen and responded to that text. 

Evan: I don’t know what’s bothering me more today, Gerrard or the noise from the construction. 

Tommy: Tune them both out? Hang in there. 

When they got back to Harbor, he ignored the way that some of his coworkers seemed glued to the tv in the break room in favor of going to get cleaned up and out of his sweat drenched clothes. By the time he was done, they all seemed to have scattered again. The last he saw was a helicopter going up into the sky. 

He made it out to his car and found that there was way more traffic than should be normal especially when he wasn’t getting on a highway, so he put on a podcast and didn’t mind the longer drive. He made it home in one piece and then after warming up some of the leftovers went straight to his bedroom, got out of his clothes, and climbed into bed. He sent Evan a text before putting his phone on do not disturb. 

Tommy: Fire’s out. I’m home. Come over when you’re done with your shift, I’ll probably still be asleep when you do. Be safe out there. 

Then, he passed out. 

Tommy woke up when he heard his front door open, but stayed in bed until Evan made it to his room, sitting up slowly and blinking at him. 

“Shit, did I wake you?” Evan asked, voice low. 

“It’s okay. Hi, Evan.” 

“Hi,” Evan said and he crossed the room to lean over to kiss Tommy. 

“What time is it?” 

“Little after two,” Evan said as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “I’m actually surprised we were allowed to go. They’re still working on clearing the plane. I guess if you call out half the firehouses out they had too many of us to keep all of us.”

Tommy blinked a few times. “What do you mean, a plane?” he asked. 

“The one that landed on the 110?”

“What?” Tommy asked. “A plane landed on the 110?” 

“Yeah,” Evan said, “why do you think everyone was grounded? Weren’t you? Anyway, Athena landed the plane on the 110 after Bobby and I cleared it for her. Everyone made it. Well…not the Captain I think they said she was pulled out through a hole. The co-pilot had a heart attack.”

Tommy was at a loss for words. And then, it hit him…

“Did you just say Athena landed the plane?” 

Evan nodded. “But don’t tell anyone. Bobby says she wants to remain anonymous. She’s happy to just be the passenger that saved the day.” 

“Evan, we’re going to have to backtrack to the beginning. I haven’t heard about any of this.” 

“Oh,” Evan said, eyes widening. “How? It was on every news station.” 

“I was at a fire,” Tommy said.

Evan went through it. An in air collision that wound up with Athena of all people in the pilot’s seat with a kid that was at most twelve. How the 118 had spent most of their day talking people on the plane through triage and first aid for other passengers. How Evan had been trying to reach Bobby the whole day and then just went to get him instead. Lucky decision as it turned out. 

“Who talked Athena through all of it?” Tommy asked. 

“ATC got a flight instructor on the phone,” Evan said. “It worked even when the plane couldn’t be turned.” 

“The plane had no rudder?” Tommy asked.

“The plane had at least two holes and caught on fire after landing,” Evan said. “Sure add not having a rudder.” 

“Evan,” Tommy said because it was not the time for joking. 

“Bobby, Brad, and I were on the phone with Athena trying to get to the airport when she found out it wasn’t going to turn, so we wound up clearing the highway for her to land. It all worked out.” 

Tommy let out a breath and he reached for Evan’s hand. It did work out. Tommy had clearly missed the whole thing, but it had worked out and that was very important to him especially because it meant that Evan had come home to him. Still, a small part of him did wish he’d been looped in. Tommy had never flown a commercial passenger plane or anything, but he did know how. At one point he’d even considered that a possibility after the Army. Tommy didn’t know how much help he could have offered from the ground, though, and Athena had already been connected to a flight instructor. Still, that didn’t meant that he didn’t feel a little left out maybe. 

“Wait, you said you had to clear traffic on the 110,” Tommy said. “How’d you manage that?” 

“Borrowed a motorcycle,” Evan said. 

“Borrowed a motorcycle,” Tommy repeated. 

“Needed to get there somehow,” Evan said. “Bobby and I already stole a truck from the set of the show.” 

Tommy let out a small laugh at that. “What?” 

“How do you think we were at the right place at the right time.” 

They talked a little more about it. How Bobby had taken a firetruck off the set of Hotshots and how they were joined by one of the actors. How it took a while for anyone else to arrive. How Buck had felt the windstream of the plane as it came down. 

“It was so good to see Bobby take charge. I missed him so much, Tommy.”

“I know,” Tommy said. “I know you do. Where was Gerrard during all of this?” 

At that, Evan pulled away, he turned so he could look directly at Tommy. 

“He was — probably still is — in the hospital. They never did get back to us on how he was.” 

“The hospital? What happened to him?”

Evan went stiff. “Uh…so he got in my face again. Started just ranting at me and then I heard one of the buzzsaws come loose. Well, no, I don’t know if I did. I pushed Gerrard so hard he hit his head on the ground. There was so much blood, Tommy. Hen thought he was concussed.”  

Whatever he felt about Gerrard, and whatever that man deserved, he didn’t like what this was doing to Evan. Tommy sat up a little more, letting his sheet pool at his waist. He pulled at Evan until Evan scooted next to Tommy, leaned into him. 

“The buzzsaw would have hit him?” Tommy confirmed. 

Evan gave a nod. “I just acted. Pushed him. But I was so angry so I don’t — I don’t know why I did it. I don’t know if I did it to save him. I don’t know.” 

Tommy wrapped an arm around him, brought Evan right into him and kissed the side of his head. 

“I know you, Evan, and Gerrard has been taunting you and driving you crazy for months, and while I think he can hit nerves — he’s good at it — you wouldn’t turn to violence even against him. I think you saved him.”

Evan groaned. “I’m going to get fired, aren’t I?” 

“Why?” Tommy asked. “You saved your Captain’s life even if you did injure him and you were instrumental in saving a whole bunch of people both on and off that plane. I really can’t believe I missed it.” 

“Well if not fired, then how much worse is Gerrard going to be?” 

That Tommy couldn’t predict. Gerrard was a loose cannon, a bigoted one that didn’t approve of anyone and had certainly had it out for Evan from day one. Tommy hated how powerless it made him feel, but he could be the shoulder that Evan leaned on. 

“Hey, whatever he does, I know you can handle it. Now, tell me again about you stealing a prop from a set, how does that even work?” 

“Apparently they use real trucks even if they’re not outfitted with the right tools,” Evan said. 

“And the motorcycle. And why is this the first I’m hearing about you knowing how to drive one.” 

Evan laughed, leaning into him. “Tommy, I’m so glad I could come here after all that madness.” 

“Me too, Evan. Me too.” 

The next morning, when he finally got around to watching the footage of the whole thing he figured it was probably better he hadn’t known until after the fact, when he already knew that Evan was alright and that so was everyone else. 

[karticatyt]

Next gen AU character roster!! This is mostly just an attempt to practice formatting posts and figure out how to use this app um ANYWAY

(heads up, this won’t be extremely in depth about lore or backstories, just simple introductions!)

This is the main roster in a row next to each other, along with their ages. Some of the art here is older than others… I’ll explain them in some more detail.

This here is Amber Gleam and her sister, Comet Trail! Long story short, Amber’s ‘real’ name is Cicada, and she is actually an adopted changeling, raised by Princess Twilight and later on her stepdad, Sunburst. Comet is her younger sister. Comet is competing with their cousin, Flurry Heart for royal guard status. I’ll talk more about Flurry later. Amber has been raised in the shadows for most of her life to hide her identity, which has led to issues socializing as well as a harsh reputation among the public as opposed to her sister.

Racing Heart isn’t actually the offspring of any canon characters, but she is an old OC that I love too much to remove, so she’s a part of my AU because she can. She’s a hopeless romantic lesbian who constantly crushes on all kinds of characters, but her eye is primarily set on Cotton Bow, who I’ll talk about next. I accidentally made her with lesbian colors back in 5th grade… I didn’t even know the word lesbian… wow…

Cotton Bow is the daughter of Mayor Diamond Tiara and Pipsqueak. She is best friends with Amber and they both bond over the issues that come from being the daughters of well known political figures and just wanting to be average, normal ponies. Although, Cotton doesn’t know about Cicada’s secret. Cotton’s special talent is knitting/crocheting (to her parents’ dismay) and she’s an introvert who doesn’t want to follow her family’s legacy.

Koi Concord is the son of Discord and Fluttershy. He has some powers from his father but they mainly remain limited to nature. He obtained his mother’s ability to speak to animals, but his favorites are sea creatures. He spends majority of his time swimming in rivers and creeks with little fishy friends, and keeps to himself for the most part. (Amber doesn’t like him very much as she deems his introversion as a waste of his ability to coexist with ponies as a mix breed/foreign species unbothered, unlike her who has to stay a secret)

Marigold Peaberry! The daughter of Rarity and Joe, she actually was really difficult to make a solid design for because I made her before picking her parents and then I had to redesign her to make her look related… it was a whole mess. She still doesn’t really have any personality or official role in the story.

Now we’re getting into old art territory… Startrix have 2 kids! Epitome Dusk and her brother Jinx Nightfall. Jinx is magically disabled and cannot use his horn without causing any accidents.This made his family incredibly heartbroken, but they all love him nonetheless. I imagine that these two hang out with Concord the most, since he’s the youngest of my next gen main characters.

Now time for Flurry! In my next gen AU, they are actually nonbinary and are dating Luster Dawn! I had a little bit of a poll/vote among my friends over if Luster should have been with Flutty or Comet and Flurry won! They don’t have a large role.

You might be wondering why that purple one at the end of the roster hasn’t appeared, and that’s because they aren’t canon. at least, I haven’t decided if they should be or not. Sunrise is a next gen for pinkiedash, but they’re merely a design concept for now. I’ll probably answer any questions people have about these guys if i have any answers. i doubt i’ll be getting any for a WHILE.

[thebelugawhalefriend]

Meeple x reader who's also nonbinary...? 🙏

Note: OOOH I HAD THE BEST IDEA WHEN THINKING OF WHAT TO WRITE!! Anon, I ADORE Meeple with all my heart, this makes me so happy to write! (Side note, holy heck I may need to write more follow ups because my fics have been platonic lately XD)

Play By Their Rules - Meeple x Enby!Reader

CW: Misgendering, Gender dysphoria, Mostly platonic

“No, no, NO!” The 8-ball shouts, the mass of game parts shuddering on their body as they slam the table, “I’m not going to allow CHEATERS at my table!” You blink in response, raising an eyebrow, “I’m not cheating, I just don’t feel comfortable playing this kind of character.”

It’s ridiculous how vindictive Meeple is with their DND campaign. This was your session zero, presenting a gender neutral Dragonborn. While this would usually be a non issue, Meeple’s having a hard time understanding why your character has a mix of feminine traits and masculine traits. According to a fanguide they studied alongside every edition AND additional content, Dragonborns should be a certain way for their campaign.

Meeple shakes their head in frustration, “If you don’t want to play a normal Dragonborn, then pick a race that doesn’t NEED dimorphism!” You grumble, “Why do they NEED dimorphism anyways for gender? It’s just a damn character.” They sigh in response, shaking their head, “It’s my campaign, I get to decide who’s allowed and who’s not. If you can’t play right-“

“Fine. I’ll leave.” You sit up from the table, Meeple’s face dropping from arrogance to genuine regret. Reaching out to stop you with their hand. “Wait.” They roll their eyes, “If it’s THAT important to you… fine. Just as long as you don’t use it as an excuse to make up ridiculous stats.” “Ridiculous?” You chuckle, “The dice really only controls that. What, are the spells gendered too?” They respond with fervor, “No! No they’re not. Just… make sure you play it right. And don’t forget that your character doesn’t have a gender.” You playfully laugh in response, “How am I going to forget my own character?”

The campaign was packed with quite a few members. Chester, the Tiefling bard that honestly didn’t do much for the party. Mandy, who LOVED to annoy the party with her Genasi warlock. Edgar, who went with a Dark Elf rogue. Colette, who convinced Meeple that a Tabaxi wizard would “totally work”. And finally, you. The Dragonborn. Your class? That was up to you. This was only the first session, a chance to fully figure out what this setting could be.

“We start in a crowded, lively tavern,” Meeple starts, reading from an oversized notebook, “Where the-“

“Can I beat up the bartender?” Chester quips, to Meeple’s disdain, “No! I haven’t even finished my introduction!” “Ugh, this is boringgg! When can I start blowing people up?” Mandy whines. “I-“ Meeple tries to talk, only to be interrupted by Colette, “Everyone’s characters are so pretty…” “My rogue is NOT pretty. He’s a dark, mysterious elf rogue who doesn’t open up to anyone.”

“Players!” Meeple shouts, glaring towards the table, “Would you all be quiet?!”

The table falls mostly silent, with Chester peeking over to your character sheet. Eyeing it with interest. “Hey Y/N, your character looks interesting… I’m gonna swoon him!”

“THEIR CHARACTER IS NOT A MAN! THEIR CHARACTER IS NONBINARY, YOU IDIOT!”

The sudden roar of Meeple’s voice finally stunned everyone into silence, with Meeple panting heavily afterwards. Edgar is the first to get up and leave, with the others soon following. But you? You stay right behind. Looking up to Meeple and putting a hand on theirs.

“Meeple?” You whisper, with Meeple pulling away. Holding their head and rubbing their temple. “I just ask for one campaign, and no one is listening! This is why I told you to stick to what I had. If you had just listened, Chester wouldn’t have-“ You interrupt, “He didn’t know, Meeple.” “He would have if you just picked what you wanted your character to be!” “I did… I wanted them to be like me.”

They pause for a moment, slowly looking to you. Their eyes glancing to you then down to your character. As if processing… thinking… “You’re… Not a guy? Or a girl?” You shake your head, “I’m not. I don’t… fit into any boxes. It’s not that I hate being either, but it’s not… me. I don’t like how I look already, but this character? They get to be whatever I want them to look like. This? This is who I’d be if… I could actually pick who I want to be.”

In that moment, Meeple took a long look into your irises, with your own gazing into theirs. A spark of realization in their gaze, and in yours? They only find understanding. Meeple's hand slowly slopes off their face as their breathing slows into a calmer pace. "And you're not just joking, are you?" They ask, only for you to shake your head. "Not at all." With this, they reach out their hand to yours, only to pull away with a huff.

"Well," Meeple lets out a rough sigh, "Then let's try this again. Just... without anyone else here to ruin the game." You pause and ask, "Just us?" They nod, "I think we can make it work with just us two."

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - July 16

comforting friend anon, understand myself anon (new), four years anon (new), 6 anon, woes anon

comforting friend anon

Heyy this is comforting friend anon. So i kinda forgot to actually send a response before now, but here it is

Yes, a lot of people (including her mom) know about my friend’s food issues. I haven’t seen her lately because of summer, so idk how she is right now. Although, a few days ago she texted me that she hated her meds and is scared of her dog now. so, um. not food related, but definitely concerning.

Also, today i was running with my dad to get in shape for cross country season, and i complained about my thighs itching from rubbing together while i was running. his response, of course, was “well, once youre in shape and shed some of those sitting-on-the-couch pounds, that shouldnt be an issue.” So like. wow, dad. great thing to say to your teenage daughter. and thats…. not exactly how that works but okay

Hi!

I'm so glad your friend's mom knows. It should never be on just friends to care for friends.

You dad, though....ugh, it worries me how little men know about bodies.

Thigh gaps are HEREDITARY. Even a VERY underweight person can have struggles with their thighs rubbing together because it has to do with the size of your pelvis and the way your legs line up. It has NOTHING to do with weight.

Have you tried biker shorts? Those regularly save my life! Or, I know places sell stuff similar to deodorant just for this problem.

I'm glad you at least know your dad is being silly....also I'm sorry about the chafing, it's such a bitch.

__

understand myself anon

hiii I wanted to ask you, do you have any advice for nonbinary people who are still trying to figure out their gender identity? like I was confident about my identity until a year ago when I started to consider going by she/they. I only recently started making that transition, and I'm really scared because I still look quite feminine, and I almost feel like I don't have the right to say I'm nonbinary because of this. I know I'm still young but it's like I'm feeling a hurry to understand myself :( anywayss hope you have a great day<333

Hi!

I totally understand this feeling, like SO much. When I first started socially transitioning, I felt so much pressure to not be feminine, because I'm AFAB and I wanted to make sure I 'looked' nonbinary.

But the thing is, I realized there's no ONE way to look nonbinary. You have every right to identify as nonbinary, no matter how you look, act, what pronouns you use, etc!

I know you feel in a rush to understand, but I really think it takes a lot of time and like...experimenting with your style and expression to see what feels good to you. It took me like 2-3 years. But now I'm just like...idgaf if someone thinks I LOOK enby. I AM, and that's what matters. And you'll get there, too <3

___

four years anon

Hey cas! I saw that you had like an ask you for advice thing and wanted to ask about a situation in. I’ve been dating my significant other for four years- long story, since we’re both still in school, but seventh grade me had decided I no longer wanted to hide my crush and we’ve been together since. We were super good friends beforehand, which is relevant. Recently, my partner told me that they thought they might be on the aromantic spectrum, and I’ve been trying to be as supportive as I can. However, the person has said that they might not want to be together anymore since they don’t really like romance at all anymore. And I understand that, truly, because I’ve gone through similar feelings in the relationship- I thought I was ace, tried to make myself not ace, and failed- and they were super supportive. And if they don’t want to date anymore, that’s fine. But how do I deal with that? We’ve been best friends since we were eight, and I don’t want that to change since we’ve kissed and now we’re back to being friends? My friend group is made up of their friends and my friends as well, and I don’t want to lose any friends over this. Sorry this is so long, there’s just a lot to unpack. But basically, how should I go about this? They say they want to break up, and I said if that’s what you want, but then they still act like we’re together which is just a lot for me to try and process. It’s a complicated situation, and I cant ask friends or family about it. Sorry! Have a great day, and thanks for the (potential) future advice. (Only if you’d like to give it, of course.)

Hi!

This is a tough situation and I think the first thing to do is acknowledge that. But after that, I think you and you (ex)partner need to do a LOT of communicating.

First, you need to make it clear that both of you need to work hard to not put your friends in the middle of this. Tell them that you don't want to lose them or your friends, and you're dedicated to all of those relationships, so you really want to communicate. Ask them for that same commitment.

Then, you BOTH need to decide how friendship looks different to a relationship. It seems like they don't see much of a difference, but to you, you may need to set some healthy boundaries. Gently and calm tell them what you don't want to do anymore (kissing? holding hands? late night talks? cuddling? all/none of the above?) if you're just friends, and ask them what THEY don't want to do. Friends have calm, respectful conversations, and you need to have one.

Next, talk about what it'll look like when a future relationship happens. How will you respect each other's future partners? What does that look like?

And last (and most important) respect their boundaries and enforce yours. Friendship after dating tends to not work when boundaries are crossed, so do your best to make sure that doesn't happen, you know?

It sounds like you guys already have good communication, so hopefully this will be...well, it won't be easy, but it won't be awful and full of drama. I know this is difficult and probably painful and that's OKAY! It's okay to mourn the relationship you had, and it's okay to take a bit of space, too. Just remember to be respectful and honest <3

Sending love!

__

6 anon

Hi <3

I am so unbelievably sorry for what you've gone through.

You deserved NONE of that, and I hope you know that your body is YOURS. Only yours, and nobody should be doing those things. I think we've talked before about going to adults, and you've said you don't have many trusted adults, but if you have someone to talk to, PLEASE tell them.

You deserve to feel safe in your own body.

It breaks my heart that you've been through all of this, and I know you know I'm thinking of you and sending you love. I wish I could do more to help. My inbox is open <3

---

woes anon

Hi <3

You're not the problem, hon. I know that feeling, and I've felt that feeling SO much, but it's not you.

Please don't give up on making connections, either. I promise you, there're good people in the world...there are just shit people, too. You have to sift through the shit people to find the good ones, unfortunately <3

sending love!

[w0rmm1lk]

Hiiii! I’m back in my bnha phase and I’m here for a request!

Could you write Bakugo (or Kirishima) x nonbinary! S/o who’s like, extremely selfless and tends to forget about taking care of themselves since they’re usually focused on taking care/helping other people?

yesss ofc!

(I wrote this in a headcannon format I hope u don’t mind <3)

characters: kirishima

summary: nb!reader needs to take care of themself but luckily they have a certain someone there for them.

warnings: swearing

🪨- when I say you are selfless I mean I’m the way of— carrying around a bag constantly filled with snacks, bandaids, water ect. You don’t like fountain water? You also have bottled. Even carrying pads in shit for the girls

🪨-Kiri loves how much you be taking care of everyone tbh. 🪨- gets stressed out bc he can’t rlly call you manly or womanly.

🪨- ends up just calling you humanly.

🪨- he didn’t notice at first that you weren’t taking care of yourself.

🪨- mainly because you were concerningly good at hiding it.

🪨- he noticed the first signs when you had slight dark circles under your eyes.

🪨- he mentioned it around some classmates only to quickly learn you had been acting as a therapist for todoroki like every night????

🪨- he then soon realised how dehydrated you were when someone offered you some water and you downed the entire bottle in less than thirty seconds.

🪨- he was genuinely concerned. Like asked you about it with this really weird look on his face.

🪨- “uh— Y/N? You doin okay— I swear I just watched you unhinged your jaw for that water—“

🪨- “oh yeah I’m doin great! Don’t worry about me I just haven’t drank water in a while lol.”

🪨- “a while as in a few hours…right”

🪨- “right…?”

🪨- “…”

🪨- “y/n. When did you last drink water—“

🪨- at first he didn’t think much of it— maybe you were just a little forgetful recently since exams were coming up.

🪨- he was very wrong.

🪨- he watch you as you basically teleported across the room because someone lost their pen.

🪨- kirishima finally realised he need to talk to you about it when he noticed you hauling about 3x the normal amount of clothing you washed towards the laundry room.

🪨- “hey y/n-! I— I didn’t know you owned *that* much clothing—“ he sounded weirdly awkward as he tried to not be too forward about the situation.

🪨- “oh! I heard denki and Mina mention they were behind on chores because of how much they’ve both been studying compared to normal since Momo offered to tutor them… so I decided I would help them out!”

🪨- “y/n… as a man I really respect how much you care about out class but— isn’t this a little too much? You should really take care of yourself more…”

🪨- his words made you think a bit… it had been a really long time since you did anything for yourself.

🪨- “well… I feel like it’s a little rude to stop what I’m doing right now after I promised them—“

🪨- “after you finish this then.. and let me help! It’s not very manly of me to watch my partner carry this much stuff without helping!”

🪨- his idea of you resting was watching movies in his dorm as he heald onto you so tight that you didn’t even have a chance to attempt to escape.

Ngl I was struggling wit this one but that’s 1 more post out there so 🕺🕺

[anonymousewrites]

Adolescent Antichrist Pride Special 2024

Father Figure! Lucifer Morningstar x Teen! Reader

Demon! OC x Reader

Pride Special 2024

            “Is that Lucifer singing on the drag float?” said Em, blinking.

            “Oh, yeah, but he set up the pride event in LUX, so he decided to include himself in all the ridiculousness,” said (Y/N). “But it is fun.”

            “Bisexual mess,” said Em, nodding.

            “Definitely,” said (Y/N), rolling their eyes.

            “His makeup is awesome,” said Marcel appreciatively.

            That was true. Lucifer was wearing his usual suit, but he had on eyeshadow in bisexual hues, and his voice was carrying over the crowd as drag queens and kings danced around him.

            “And he sounds amazing,” said Noa. “I didn’t know he could sing like that.”

            “Yeah, yeah, he looks and sounds good, let’s stop complimenting my dad,” said (Y/N), making a face.

            “Harsh as ever, even during Pride,” laughed Olive.

            “Well, no need to change your personality for Pride,” said Leon.

            “Of course not,” said Em. “And we should know—we’re the LGBTQ+ Breakfast Club!”

            (Y/N) laughed. “Hell yeah we are.”

            “I can’t believe you had time to design pride-themed clothes, too,” said Olive. “I love how this looks.” She spun around in the lesbian, sunset-themed sundress (Y/N) had made.

            “Well these aren’t hard to do. I just did simple, pre-made designs instead of deciding on all the patterns myself,” said (Y/N). “I’m still working for my senior project anyways.”

            “We still appreciate it,” said Leon, nodding his head. They wore a pin with he/they on it and another with the asexual flag on a vest in pansexual colors over his collared shirt.

            “I love shirt you made,” said Marcel, tapping the trans-flag-colored shirt he wore over his favored. He wore a rainbow choker overtop that.

            “Really, it wasn’t anything,” said (Y/N), waving a hand. They had on pants with patches of nonbinary-flag colors while their shirt was white and read “Queer” in cursive paint (put on by themself, of course).

            “Oh, come on, take some credit,” said Noa. “You do a lot for others and then you just act like you haven’t done anything. They had on a crop-top with bisexual-colored butterflies and ripped jeans. Giant earrings reading “they” and “them” hung from their ears. (Also, they had change the beads in their locs for rainbow patterns).

            “Come on, just say ‘thank you’ and admit you worked hard,” said Em. She had on a pin with “she/they” on an oversized t-shirt overtop white pants with lesbian-colored flowers printed in.

            “…Fine. Yeah, thanks,” said (Y/N), looking away uncomfortably.

            They were used to just handling situations or problems by themself, even if others were involved, so being reminded that people cared and appreciated the work they’d been brought up to expect was nice. Sometimes, the lessons (Y/N)’s biological parents impressed upon them didn’t go away. The remnants stayed in their mind.

            Luckily, their friends showed their appreciation for (Y/N) and who they were and what they liked to do. They had a support network, and (Y/N) could relax more. They only did things for others when they actually cared. (Y/N) was happy.

            “Now, cheer up! Let’s have some fun!” said Em, pulling (Y/N) into a side-hug. “Don’t be a grouch during Pride, Birdie.”

            “I’m not a grouch,” protested (Y/N).

            “No, just living off sarcasm,” laughed Olive.

            “Don’t worry, we love it,” said Noa, chuckling.

            “Leon, let’s dance together,” said Marcel, grabbing his partner’s hand.

            “I’m coming,” said Leon, following their boyfriend onto the dance floor.

            “If Lucifer spots them, he’s pulling them on stage, isn’t he?” said Noa, grinning as they moved onto the dance floor with the others.

            “He threatened to involve me,” said (Y/N). They shook their head and smirked. “But I threatened to have a panic attack and he let me go.”

            “Oh, please, you’d be fine and you know it,” said Em, grabbing their hands and swinging them around to the music.

            (Y/N) spun and faced her again. “Yeah, but Dad’s protectiveness always wins out over logic.”

            “You’re way more cunning than he realizes,” teased Olive.

            “You’re lucky he didn’t disapprove of Em,” said Marcel.

            “You’d be surprised of who parents approve of. Most of society would think my parents wouldn’t approve of you, Marcel, but my parents love you,” said Leon.

            “Him? The idiot punk?” said Noa.

            “Hey!” said Marcel, but Leon laughed and kissed his forehead fondly.

            “The point is, of course Lucifer approves of (Y/N)’s choice. They know what they deserve and wouldn’t date someone terrible,” said Leon.

            “I’m not surprised he approved,” said Noa, smirking and exchanging a knowing look with Marcel. “Em is one of his demons.”

            “Oh, yeah, definitely,” said Marcel.

            “Shut up, I was terrified my boss would disapprove of him,” grumbled Em.

            (Y/N) groaned and turned away before their cheeks warmed too much. “Instead making fun of my love-life, can we just enjoy pride?”

            “I agree,” said Em quickly. “Want to keep dancing, Birdie?”

            “Yeah, sounds great to me,” said (Y/N), grabbing Em’s hand and dragging them away from Olive wiggling her eyebrows at (Y/N). “Shut up! They’re my partner, I can dance with them without being teased!”

            “At least they’re together now,” said Leon.

            “Seriously,” laughed Marcel.

            “It took them long enough,” said Olive. “If they weren’t together by now, by Pride, I’d lose my mind.”

            “Actually, it’s the most the LGBTQ part about it,” laughed Noa. “They’re terrible at flirting.”

            “Now that’s pride,” said Marcel.

            (Y/N) and Em, ignoring the teasing, simply listened to the music and screamed the lyrics to Lady Gaga songs. Their hands were clasped tightly together, and when someone came around with rainbow flags, they took one and draped it over their shoulders. (Y/N) and Em were happy, side-by-side, being proud in who they were.

Taglist:

@sammyscreencaps-13

@grippleback-galaxy-galaxy

@scarlettqueen190

@ziro-the-null-god

@sammy-13

@zeros-rot

@ceridwyn3

@technikerin23

@poetoflawed

@slytherinroyalty16

@ilse235

@theurbannoodle

@lookitseddie

@amberforest08

[lemonlilactea]

#5 and #18 for vala? 👉👈 i know they have a brother but i've only read snippets about them and would love to know more 👀

thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuu i love ask game and i also love my little creature i really should try to write more for em sometime soon

Edit forgot to add the ask game

5. How did you choose their name and why? Was it simply based on vibes or is there any specific meaning behind the name? Are the reasons behind their name different in- and out of universe?

It started as just trying to find a V name that wasn’t in common use honestly. There’s a character in the Stargate show named Vala Mal Doran, and I love me some stargate so I said I'm gonna take that. And then I realized I wanted a FULL name, and a family, and the whole shebang so I made Doran into Dorian cuz I like the name, and Yvonne is Vala’s mothers name (but I got it from a 2006 Merlin miniseries). Now we have Vala Yvonne Dorian! 

18. Does the character have other characters connected to them? Do you have a family tree and "offscreen" connections made up for them or do they exist in a vacuum purely for the purpose of the story?

I’m still working on it, but yes! Vala has a twin brother Vince (Vincent fully, but he never uses it) and their mother, Yvonne. I haven’t decided if she's still alive, as of 2077/2078 but Vince comes to NC after the events of the game. Their father is still kind of in limbo, there’s some research I want to do and some technobabble I need to make up in order for things to work, along with adding MORE horrible things to Vala’s life with him so that’ll be fun :D I have a snippet on my blog for Vala and Vince post game, but I really have to work on their dynamic pre-game and such. So far the general energy is that Vince was the favorite, Vala is still a little bitter about it and wouldn’t hold it against him if he wasn’t so eager to please their mother at all times, leaving Vala in the dust about it. But, they obviously love and care about each other because they built Vala’s arm replacement together after she lost it. Also Vala is nonbinary and Vince is a trans man! 

[shentheauthor]

I keep coming up with aus send help— anyway human iterator au??

I had fun picking their names, but I was in the shower, so some of them might be a bit silly lmao. They all get human names, and the scugs are just their cats

Pebbles: Pedro. It means “rock” or “stone,” and I wanted to make him and Moon Latino, so there you go. Pebbles is his nickname, though. It’s an inside joke with him and Moon (mostly just Moon, Pebbles is still a wet blanket). Pebbles in this au would probably be in college as a history major.

Moon: Luna! It’s a bit basic, but it works really well as a name. Plus, you know, Latino siblings. I haven’t decided on a specific country for their heritage yet, so hmu if you have Latino iterator headcanon ideas. Moon would be a physicist.

NSH: Sigrid. He’s transmasc, but he kept his old name because imma be real, Sigrid goes hard. Plus it shortens to Sig! NSH would be a biologist, working his way to the top of a lab.

Suns: Apollo. It’s so basic but I love it. They’re silly. Plus they share a name with Apollo Justice from hit game Ace Attorney, which is always a win. Suns works in the same lab building as Sig, just in a different research group.

Innocence: Amina! It means honest/pure, so Yk… innocence. It’s also just a really pretty name. I think Inno would vibe with it. They are also in college, and they’re Pebbles’s roommate. They’d be a graphic design major.

Chasing/Grey Wind: Gray. Gray is already a name, and it’s giving “nonbinary people and their four letter names.” Also don’t mind me changing the spelling for the word mid-explanation, I still don’t know which way is the American way. I don’t think we should have different ways to spell gray. It’s dumb. Wind would be a grad student in chemistry.

[evorathesylvurr]

Hm. Perhaps i should make a tag specific for Elpis (my limbus self insert) so that if i get followers they can filter out my cringe.

If anyone is interested in them:

This is them ^_^ their name is Elpis and they’re based off of Pandora’s box since i tend to go for names that start with E for my self inserts (E and S names, for Evora and Sora lol)

Their whole deal is that they had a class (its either a class or an orphanage, haven’t decided) where they spent most of their time w/ the vices in the box until the Bad Things Happened (tm) and Elpis is the only one left :(

They love faust. they are very sweet together and it is very autistic.

They're very much nonbinary and use they/them but they’re often referred to as a girl/by feminine terms (for an example in a oneshot i wrote of them, they are called "faust's girl").

Elpis is a character outside of the fact that theyre a self insert/self ship oc!! Their whole thing is flower language and that’s the a big thing in the way they express their (platonic!!) feelings towards the other sinners.

One of the little flower language things they do is at the end of a sinner’s canto is give them a flower that has a meaning relevant to them… i have a small list and reasons on my Elpis google doc but i dont have that available atm because mobile tumblr is weird lol.

Their little icon is meant to be both a flower and a butterfly! I didn’t want to just go with butterflies since butterflies mean hope BUT butterflies are already kinda taken by *checks notes* ryoshu’s icon, and every single ardor moth and other butterfly/moth themed abnormality.

Also the skirt is very much not super efficient in battle but hey. It works for them. and also they refuse to get rid of it.

Their primary weapon is an olive branch type thing with a lantern at the end. Like the SINGLE most stereotypical staff lantern thing. it also has a branch that they weave medicinal herbs onto :3

The lantern has easy break glass panes, though there is no door. The way the lantern works is they have to reset the Greek fire like substance (half a copout on what it actually is composed, half because Greek fire is interesting, and also half because she's from greek mythology), relight the candle carefully, and then put the panes back in. Her Big Attack(tm) lore wise is them smacking the enemy with their staff and the lantern shatters onto the enemy. I guess combat wise it would be a one time use inflict bleed & burn. like

[on hit] inflict x burn, inflict y bleed (can only occur once an encounter)

They still do damage just no burn/bleed :3 this is for balance purposes (and gameplay/lore integration because DAMN the PMVerse is great at that shit keep it UP /pos)

However because theyre really easily startled if you approach them from behind and they don’t see you, they have a really nasty habit of “swing first, ask questions later”. It’s to the point on the Elpis google doc i literally have a table of how many times they’ve set a sinner on fire by accident (as well as how many on purpose). It’s a source of comedy until it’s Not.

[sunset-starr]

Happy pride month! I’ve decided to highlight a different not canon gay couple/ not canon queer characters each day because “which bathroom should I use?” (Day 8)

Today we got a character that I hc as a demigirl or nonbinary! It’s pidge from Voltron! (Que the visceral flashbacks)

Anyway, if you’re on this app I probably don’t really have to explain myself, but if you for some reason haven’t watched Voltron, you totally should! Anyway happy pride month to them :)

[critterwithtoast]

Happy Coming Out Day!!!!!

Whelp I decided now would be a good time to tell yall about me because I am an attention seeker :P

So hello! I am The Australian Frog and I am a bi-oriented Aromantic Asexual, and I’m also nonbinary. I use they/she pronouns! I never had that experience of choosing a boy to be my “crush” because I am romance repulsed and have always been proud of never having a crush.

I don’t really know if nonbinary counts, but i did technically skedaddle off the gender binary so…? It’s just what fits for me now, and it just feels better to use rather than demifem or something similar.

So now I will be sharing some of my “oohhhh that makes sense now” moments below the cut.

Friend: for some reason, I can’t imagine you having a boyfriend or a crush???

Me, internally: yea thats kinda the intention

Explaining the difference between gender identity and expression:

“So I am a cisgender female, but I still prefer androgynous clothing”*

👍🤞👋👉👉✌️🫵-the bi hand language

Me, in a lot of denial: someone told me I might be asexual

Queer friend: No one labels you, you label yourself :)

Me: (no one had told me I might be asexual):

🫠😓

Aforementioned queer friend: Oh you haven’t met [my nickname]! I should introduce them to you!

Me: acknowledges it mentally but does not even consider correcting it

several hours later: wait-

*just because someone prefers androgynous gender expression does not mean they are nonbinary and vice versa. If you don’t know ask them

ps thank you to the queer friend i could not have done this without them!

And HAPPY COMING OUT DAY! I’m so proud of you if you came out! That’s amazing! You’re so brave!

And I’m proud of you if you’re staying in the closet too! Whether that’s because it’s not safe for you to come out, or you don’t completely understand yourself, you don’t feel ready, even if you just don’t think it’s anyone’s business! Or any reason!

I’m also proud of you if you came out before now! Congratulations! Great job living the life without hiding who you are!

I’m proud of you!!!!!!! No matter your situation!!!!

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Head-Wigs and Not Even an Inch

Abigail Thorn made me cry last night.

I mean, I knew this was not outside the realm of possibility. I presumed she would produce a work of stunning artistic beauty and overwhelm my jaded brain with some Profound Meaning. Or, fat chance, maybe she’d trip over something I’d written and tear it to pieces like a hamster going to town on a cardboard tube. Or maybe I’d go back to London, and spill my drink on her shoes in a dark club, and she’d thrash me with a riding crop — that’s slightly more likely than someone with a decent platform noticing my writing, at this point.

But, uh, no. That’s not how it went.

We pay money to get the bonus episodes of Kill James Bond. You should too. In fact, if you don’t, you’ll be lacking some context for this. But most of my work goes out into the void without context, so to hell with it. You can watch a theatrical version of Hedwig and the Angry Inch for free, on YouTube. Or you can probably pirate the film version with a clean conscience, I don’t think any of those performers are seeing much compensation from sales at this point.

We haven’t been listening to the bonus episodes in order. We often try to watch something close to the version of whatever-film they’re doing, and then listen to the episode with context. We’ve heard them mention Hedwig, and it seemed to be a profound, emotional experience. I really wanted to see Hedwig first. Well, we found a Hedwig available for free and we watched it. They tried to update it a bit, and I found that off-putting. A lot of the tropes in play are dated — “#problematic” in some ways, and genuinely hurtful in others. If you’re going to update something like that, you can’t just throw in a reference to Harry Potter and Title 42 and call it good. Preserve it in its original messy form for us, or rewrite the whole thing — if they’ll let you.

The way the actor playing Hedwig moved and sat in her (the character uses she/her and I have no idea about the actor) short skirt bothered me too. She had shorts on underneath, but I don’t think we were supposed to know that yet. “Nobody has ever told this person how they’re supposed to sit in a skirt,” I said to the spouse. Like, it wasn’t even as if she knew and had decided to ignore it. If one were transfeminine, or faking it to get out of East Berlin, someone would’ve mentioned it. “Maybe it’s for the character,” he said. Maybe it was. You could read it that way. But there’s a read on this where transness is artifice, and I don’t like that read very much. I hope that wasn’t what they were going for.

The ending could be read that way too. It’s all very surreal and that has the potential to be read a lot of different ways, but a male (or male-presenting) actor winds up bare-chested in shorts and the female one ends in a wig and a dress and they both seem very happy about it. One could say, “Well! Glad all that gender confusion’s cleared up! Now they’ve stopped pretending to be something they’re not!” I don’t like that the possibility is left open like that. It feels slimy and centrist.

But the music was great and there were some excellent moments and I was eager to hear the whole thing get dissected by some trans folks.

About a half hour into it, they were discussing John Cameron Mitchell, who identified as a gay man at the time and has since refined it to nonbinary with he/him pronouns. Hedwig’s gender is messy — she’s a fictional character written by an enby who was still in egg form, from a time before people were expected to define their transness as binary or nonbinary. Abi acknowledged the nonbinary actor/writer/director, and mentioned that there’s a lot of pressure to define your gender neatly these days… And said, “No.” That’s not it. Hedwig is a woman like her. Period.

I had been saying to the spouse (we talk over the podcast; we get excited) that I saw a lot of myself in Hedwig’s disaster gender, and in that way you could read the ending as her deciding to stop splitting herself between her popular, cis-passing, sellout persona, and the real, messy her. And then Abi cut me off, and I said, laughing, “Oh my god, just hip-check my identity right into the orchestra pit! What… What…” And I started to cry.

I didn’t have my guard up. I didn’t expect it. And I’d never taken a hit quite this way before. This wasn’t being denied the validity of my existence, this was the validity of my artistic merit. Abigail Thorn, a demonstrably smart person with a lot of theatre experience who loves writing and acting, will not be requiring me or John Cameron Mitchell for her interpretation of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Not even as a possible read. Please, go find yourselves in some other character, enbies. Let the transwomen have her.

…To the point where “Hansel” is treated like a modern-day deadname of a real person, when all we know for sure is that the character got rid of it to get out of East Berlin and she doesn’t use it anymore. It could be like that, but by the end of this, “Hedwig,” another name and gender she did not choose for herself, might be a deadname too. I’m not saying it has to be like that, but it’s not so ridiculous that we need to dismiss it unsaid, is it? Especially given that the goddamn originator of the character has been on a similar journey and decided to keep “John” and he/him for the moment. A person can do that and still kick their assigned gender to the curb, you know?

I didn’t need Hedwig to be about me and only me, I just needed the possibility to be left open and discussed a little bit. Another trans egg movie, but perhaps a nonbinary one this time. Like Speed Racer, it went hard and fell short! That’s all. I didn’t even know I needed that! Until Abi said I couldn’t have it.

The spouse stopped the podcast and comforted my surprised tears. He gave me a nonbinary read — which is not hard to do! — and said I deserve to be seen. I said, “I know why she said it. I do. It’s too close to their (hers and Alice’s) own experience and they don’t want to see anything else. It’s emotion-based. But… But… Nonbinary actor (and writer/director/producer/singer)! …What about Dev?” Dev really took a backseat on this one. They saw themself in Yitzhak, and Yitzhak isn’t the main character, and Abi and Alice were so into Hedwig, and they’re all friends. Yeah. I mean, I understand that too. Back off and let your friends have this one, it’s clearly important to them both.

I wanted to hear the rest of it, because it made Alice and Abi feel seen, and a lot of other trans folks too. Yeah, there’s a lot in it that aged like milk — cringy and outdated even when the film was made — but there’s a lot of valid queer experience in there, too, warts and all. I was surprised as hell that, in the end, Abi supports the “Tommy isn’t real” theory and believes this is a story about uniting one person and making yourself feel whole. And yet, she reiterated, “No.” It’s not about being nonbinary. It’s about reconciling with the male-gendered stuff you try to cut out of you when you transition. Dev and Alice were at least willing to allow that nonbinary was possible, if not quite willing to delve into it, but not Abi. Splitting yourself in two is a binary trans thing! As are many, many other things about Hedwig that I related to.

As an enby who came up with the “splitting yourself in two” metaphor while still in egg form, for a fictional character of my own who is also still in egg form, please let me tell you — please let me tell someone — that that’s not true. I didn’t meet Hedwig until last night, but I know about performing your acceptable, cis-passing, assigned gender and hiding all the “garbage” that doesn’t fit. I know what it is to be crammed into a false persona that gets a lot of love, while the real you, when you let it out, is only worthy of snarling punk lyrics into a mic at a dingy seafood restaurant with a hostile audience.

And, oh my god, do I know what it is to have a piece of you that will not come off, and prevents you from fitting fully into either binary gender. It can feel like a broken piece, like a scar, like a botched surgery you didn’t need that was inflicted on you… But it doesn’t have to be literally that. Hedwig, both the play and the person, doesn’t seem to have much use for physical reality. She’s here to unload her emotional reality, and she doesn’t care about any other real things she might damage along the way.

KJB were rather amazed that Hedwig chose to redefine herself by a (medically impossible) surgical accident. How brave of her to own her trauma like that. But I wonder, is it trauma? Or is it the only path a nonbinary egg in 1998 could see to gain an outside that expressed his inside? This isn’t what any of you wanted me to have, this isn’t even what I want to have, but it’s still me. It’s what I have to work with. (All signs point to “Tommy,” as a character, being at least a closeted gay guy who would’ve been fine if the “front of” Hedwig had been a penis, but it isn’t. It’s not quite anything at all, and he flees because that’s just too much for him to handle. Hedwig already is one of those androgynes she envies; she doesn’t need an Adam, she doesn’t need him. But she loves him/her cis-passing self, and she’s not yet ready to let him go.)

I don’t know what it is to actually try living as the other binary gender, I wasn’t active enough in queer circles to really feel that pressure to conform to the binary before I hatched. But I see it now, and I feel the same instinctive revulsion that Hedwig feels about being a divorced housewife in a trailer in Arizona. That’s not me either! Did I spend all this time and energy escaping one box, only to be trapped in another? Must I content myself with this simply because I don’t want to go back to the way I was? Is this only way I can get a green card that lets me access a queer space? To put on an ugly wig and pretend I’m more palatable?

To me, the revelation about wigs is not “I could be happy as ANY woman!” but, “This is a performance… This is all a fucking performance! This isn’t me, this is a hat someone put on my head. It comes off! I can have another hat! I can have all the hats!” And, selfishly, she denies Yitzhak that same joy, because he wears it better and seems happier. Hedwig clings to her suffering so tightly, it’s such a fundamental part of her identity, that she can’t bear to be around trans joy. No. There is no room for trans joy here, only trans spite. This story is about me. I don’t like transwomen, I don’t like transmen, and I sure as hell don’t like myself (yet)! In the end, after a lot more suffering, she’s willing to let that go.

In the end, Abi says she knows a lot of transwomen who seem to model themselves on Hedwig, and she wants them to know that isn’t how they have to be. They don’t have to choose between being just like a cis woman, or being a monstrous, chaotic, damaged other. You can be… Better than cis! Yes, says the cast of KJB, laughing, we are better than you! We are THE FUTURE! Three friends, having a ball on a podcast, trans joy at its finest — but you don’t find humour in feigning cruelty if you haven’t had some of that cruelty directed at you. This joy formed around a grain of spite. Not only does one often feel they have to be better than cis people, but when you’re still unhatched and stuck on the outside looking in, trans folks really do seem better than you. At least they know what their deal is.

I get it. I do. Because Hedwig fits me too. We all have our reasons to put on that perfectly ridiculous blonde wig and take the form of Hedwig, the Destroyer. Hedwig, the Chaotic. Hedwig, the Liar. Hedwig, the Truth. Hedwig, the Unrepentant Disaster. Hedwig, give me strength! But, it comes off. Look. It is literally a head-wig, a costume for your brain. I know sometimes you find a new wig and you really, really like it, and you become very attached and you want it to be just yours forever and ever, maybe even to the point of calling it your real hair, but… Someone else could still wear that same wig and feel just as happy as you, or maybe even happier. Maybe you’ll find a wig you like even better too. Transitioning isn’t just one and done, and Hedwigs don’t have to be forever. We do know this, don’t we?

Gender is a performance. Gender is a Hedwig. A lot of other things that you consider immutable parts of your identity are Hedwigs too. They are as real as any other social construct, but if you don’t like them or need them, you can just take them off. Sometimes it’s hard and it hurts, but I promise you can. Like Hedwig the character, or whoever that is, does. Inevitably, she must pick some new clothes, maybe new pronouns and a new name, too, but she’s not obligated to do that on camera for us. We can’t force her to say “Aha, see? This identity suited me all along!” No. We’re not entitled to know her or define her. She will be doing that for herself, later, as a whole person. What is so scary about the ending, what makes it look like a detransition instead of a synthesis, is that we insist on gendering her naked body as a male head-wig. Wouldn’t she wear something else if that wasn’t who she was? Well, maybe not. Or maybe so, but it’s her decision, not ours. Self-expression is not the Self, it just helps to define and validate the Self. Hedwigs are extremely fucking important for defining and validating the Self!

So, you know, you have to be willing to share.

[bihansthot]

In a non self ship update, Ani has been sending me spicy/flirty basically sexts all day he’s so in trouble when I get a hold of him. He’s not having a great mental health day so I won’t see him until Saturday or Sunday but he made sure to get me worked up. He still hasn’t decided if he’ll come to my birthday party I don’t know if party is the right word if a max of three people show up but maybe he will? It would certainly be nice having both the people I care about celebrate turning 800 million. I wish you lovelies could come celebrate with me. 🩷 I understand if he’s uncomfortable though he and my partner have never met so it’s an awkward situation. Hilariously after chatting with Ani I got an ad for an Anakin statue on Facebook and I thought it was very funny and apropos. I have a busy week of stupid lab work and doctor’s appointments next week before my actual bday on Friday, and we still haven’t booked anything yet. We’re planning on doing a Vegas in Detroit weekend because we can’t afford to go to Vegas and I’ve wanted to go for years so we’re doing the next best thing and going to the casino in downtown and staying the night if we can find boarding accommodations for Denny. I know some of you are like “Sol you’ve had months to plan this” yes we have but we had to save up money and get Denny up to date on his vaccines to be able to board him so we can’t book anywhere until tomorrow afternoon after his vet annual. So it’s all kind of last minute. Hopefully we’ll find someplace and if not we’ll just have a quiet birthday at home, my big plans for my 25th heart transplant anniversary never went anywhere so it wouldn’t really surprise me if my milestone bday doesn’t work out either my bday rarely goes well but that’s just life I guess. Either way we should still be able to have a nice dinner which is what I’m really excited about, even though I can’t eat a lot anymore. I’m only 35-40 mins from the casino so really I can go anytime if it doesn’t work out I just thought it’d be fun to have an irresponsible staycation somewhere fancy. I just wanted us all to have a fun time but I suppose we’ll see what the universe has in store for us. I really never thought I’d see this bday as I was supposed to die as a kid so it’s kind of a huge deal I just hope it’s a fun one, my last big milestone bday was my worst ever (long story short my Mother and I had a very toxic relationship at the time, she got shit faced insisted it was her bday and ruined the whole occasion) so as long as it’s better than that we’ll be good. I unofficially celebrated my bday when I was with my family earlier this week and had my favorite cake but much to my dismay my nephews were not fans of it but they loved my cooking and begged my brother to get lessons from me so that was nice. How do an 8 and 10 year old not like a caramel chocolate cake?! I guess the pecans were the problem they don’t have allergies they just don’t like nuts I guess. They’re very picky and light eaters but I guess that’s expected at that age, hell I’m a billion and am still very picky but it’s a texture issue for me not a taste one. All in all the visit was successful but my partner never got a chance to tell their Mom they’re nonbinary and use they/them pronouns and have a new name. The drive was awful, we got a speeding ticket on the way to my partner’s Mom’s and had insane traffic and weather driving back from my folks in Florida, turns out Denny barks incessantly when the windshield wipers are on 😭 We made it safely though so that’s what’s most important, I haven’t made any weight loss progress though because of all the holiday food and lack of exercise. No excuses now that my routine is back to normal, back to the elliptical and healthy foods. Just figured I’d update you lovelies on what’s going on with me, I’ll post later in the week after my cardiologist appointment to keep y’all up to date with that too. Sending lots of love.

XOXO

Sol

[my-castles-crumbling]

I haven’t come out to anyone as aroace (besides you) and honestly I’m not sure if I want to or should come out. I used to think I was bi or pan, didn’t tell anyone about that then I found out about the aspec spectrum. What if I change my mind again? I don’t want to change my mind so much. My friends are obsessed with dating and boys, so I don’t know how they’ll react. Also I’ve never come out before so if I decide to do you have tips? sorry for the rant.

Hi! <3

Okay so, first, on 'not wanting to change your mind'-

You are allowed to change your mind! Judging from your message, you're young! You're still discovering yourself! But even if you weren't, it's okay to change your mind or make a realization at ANY point! I didn't realize I was nonbinary until I was married! The people who love you and accept you will be cool with any self-discovery you make because it's a part of you. Plus, I don't really see it as 'changing your mind.' You're just learning more about yourself and the world and the result is you're now identifying as X instead of Y because that's what feels genuine to you now. Nothing wrong with that!

On coming out-

First, since I have no idea where you live or what your situation is, please make sure it is safe to do so. Safety first!

Then, I would suggest you start with someone you are sure will be accepting. Coming out can be a bit scary and it's a good idea to build up a supportive group of people irl if possible. Do you have a family member, friend, even a teacher or other adult who you feel is supportive? Maybe someone who is part of the queer community? Start there.

Then, as far as your friends, remember that if they react negatively, it's for one of two reasons:

They may not be educated on the ace spectrum. If you feel you're able to do so, try to educate them! if not, ask them to educate themselves! Hell, tell them to message me lol. I'd be happy to tell them what I know.

They may not be accepting of people unlike them. If this is the case, do you want friends like that?

Coming out can be scary, and people definitely won't always react the way you hope. But remind yourself that you deserve people who love you for you and accept you not matter what. If people aren't doing that, they aren't worth it.

I hope this is helpful! Let me know if you need to talk!

[natusoftheclique]

When/how did you realize you were queer? (Asking for sake of research for my book)

I mean it wasn’t an instant thing, it took a bit for me to realize

At first I just thought I was just a really masculine woman but then the dysphoria set in

I went through a bit of a phase where I thought I was a mix of both genders but I didn’t know how to voice it

I told my friend I was bisexual and she said “wait you like both genders?!” and I corrected myself and said I was bigender

I eventually decided I didn’t really like being a girl so I decided I was androgynous

After a while I decided he/him felt the most comfortable and I felt I was transmasc

Then I got hormone tests and my testosterone was far higher than it should be and after some tests I was apparently a form of intersex and that kinda messed me up

I decided I was still transmasc and intersex but some of my genders felt fluid so I figured out I was demifluid

I started thinking about sexuality but I didn’t really like girls bc I thought they were irritating so i was pretty content with being straight

Afterwards I started noticing things about men, women, and nonbinary friends that made me attracted to them

I also didn’t really feel sexual attraction and I felt sex repulsed but I wasn’t fully shutting the idea down

Right now I think I’m panromantic and demisexual/asexual/cupiosexual but I’m still figuring it out

My parents are also really homophobic and transphobic so I guess a lot of this was in rebellion against my parents but then I realized the truth

Ive started being more open about it and ive been acting like a stereotypical gay around my parents but they haven’t noticed

I also am super open about it to my school and most of my friends but I don’t know how I’ll tell my parents

Im really sorry that this was so long but it felt kinda nice to rant about it for a bit