#so in order to know who is shipping for spite and who is doing it for love

[tae-shimura-is-my-wife]

Sakura haters have infiltrated the inosaku spaces, it's over...

[rednightmare18]

It's not even about the vindication of calling a ship, okay. It's that the supposedly anti woke studio wrote about 3 million words of medieval fiction centering the relationship of the two main characters who are in most ways (or in all ways if you follow the obvious canon momentum of the story) meant for each other, as counterparts who help each other survive the great travails of their lives and who challenge/complete the other to become fuller, braver, kinder people. It's so clear these two people are soulmates, platonically or romantically, something observed consistently by the world around them and by themselves.

Except their society (feudalism, Catholicism) dictates that they are intended to be completely incompatible by nature and divine law. Not just for the obvious fact they are both men, but they are separated by what is arguably an even steeper chasm of social class. Their existence even as friends utterly spites, interrupts, and threatens feudal order right down to its theological and philosophical roots. They should not see each other as human and yet.

It's the fact that they do. The fact that the entire story has been about this--that these two protagonists fit together, undeniably, and grow to love each other fiercely (a love that deepens superbly from their knee-jerk playful puppy-friend-love in kcd1 to something selfless and mature by the end of kcd2). And they do so despite the immense opposition by their world, their social circles, their faith, and indeed their fandom.

And yes, it really does fucking matter that all of this culminates into a deep onscreen romantic love (if you get out of the way and allow it to) between two fandom-beloved male main characters (not just side characters rammed in for an optional gay romance but THE main characters of the duology; the "you" as in the player character and your erstwhile dick-jokes bro you have perhaps grudgingly at first been invited as the audience to love) in a historical fiction story that has been wrongly touted by the worst of our contemporaries as the holy grail of cultural conservatism.

Holy shit. Warhorse -- y'all. I'm sorry I doubted you. So few game writers understand how love works and indeed how people work, let alone translate it so well onto the screen.

Calling this an "optional romance" is not technically incorrect, I suppose, because it's true you can opt out and choose to remain platonic friends. But this language feels like a disservice, as if Henry & Hans's romance is a typical RPG wham-bam fanservice makeout with a minor fan fave character who never interacts meaningfully with the player again. Or as if it's a Bioware-style "give this NPC the right gift and do their side quest and you get to see a jankly ugly-bumpin' montage" situation.

Kingdom Come: Deliverance is so very much not that. The "main, optional" romance scene in question is just one consummation event of two people who have been growing up and falling in love in front of us over the course of some 200-300 (or god knows how many) hours. The fact these protagonists openly love each other is very much not optional.

This is, sincerely, groundbreaking storytelling in this medium and this genre. How fucking cool that we all got to see it now.

[mintedwitcher]

Heyyy! I’ve been reading some of your asks and you always give really well thought out responses so I thought I’d ask a question that I’ve been attacked for asking elsewhere!

I think you’re a fan of Tommy (?) I’m just curious what it is about him you like? Everytime I ask Tommy fans they get really defensive (which I get, as there are a lot of people who hate him and attack his fans) but I genuinely have no opinion on him.

I do have to say I’m definitely more partial to buddie when it comes to shipping (although I honestly am indifferent to whether or not they end up together) but this isn’t really a question related to buddie vs bucktommy.

I genuinely just don’t understand why people are so in love with Tommy’s character by himself when he has like 10 minutes of screen time, are people just fans of the ship? Does the actor have a big following idk about? Is a lot of it people who don’t like buddie, and just like Tommy out of spite?

I’d like to say I come from an indifferent perspective as I’m not actually active in the 9-1-1 fandom (I didn’t know it had a fandom until the network switch lol!) and am more of just a weekly watcher. So I was super surprised when he had such a huge following! To me personally he just felt like a good plot device to do stuff no one in the main cast was able (fly a helicopter and kiss buck lol).

I hope none of this sounds rude I honestly mean no hate to any fans of Tommy or Bucktommy!!!

I've been putting off answering this all day, I'm sorry.

First things first, let me be very clear. The reason Tommy fans get defensive when you ask why we like him is because you're using the same phrases as the people who have sent us death threats, CSA fics, and suicide bait for over a year. We have listened to those people endlessly claim that Tommy is "just a plot device" or that "he only has ten minutes of screen time" or that "people only like him because they hate Eddie". Just as you've done in this ask.

Now, I'm not saying you're one of those people, but you should be able to understand why we get so defensive after spending a year having to defend ourselves from the very worst of fandom.

With that out of the way, let me also add that I do not speak for anyone but myself in the rest of this post. So here's why I like him:

Tommy is funny. He has that dry, snarky sense of humour that appeals to me, as someone with the same type. His sarcasm and dry wit is enjoyable, and it's a good counterbalance to Buck's optimism. He's not a cynic, though. He's realistic, having lived a full life and learned that every action has its consequences.

Tommy is smart. He knows his own expectations and boundaries, and knows when and how to enforce them. He's intuitive. He's thoughtful. He chooses to take care of the people he loves, and gives his all to the task every time. He's resourceful, with a range of knowledge and the skills to back it up. He's not boastful, but confident in himself and his abilities. He's respectful and respected, both professionally and personally.

Tommy is kind. He, like Buck, is a fixer. He's mature enough to know, however, when there's something he can't fix; he sticks around all the same, though. He understands the importance of a support network, because he didn't have one. He wants for others something better than what he had, even though he might be envious or jealous of them having it when he couldn't. He's patient, knowing that discovering oneself is a long process, and one that can't be rushed without sacrificing safety, security, or happiness. He's willing to let himself be hurt in order to prevent others from feeling it.

Tommy is strong. Not just physically, but emotionally. He understands himself on a level that speaks to years of dedicated introspection and work. He's careful, not just with his words but with his actions. He's grounded, with a stable sense of self and an understanding of where he fits in the world. He's flawed, but he's learned from his mistakes and done everything in his power to atone for them. He's guarded, understanding his own weak spots and how to protect them.

Tommy is gentle. His size, stature, age, and blatant masculinity are all carefully considered when he engages with others. He knows when and how to soften his voice, to lower his shoulders, to make himself less intimidating, because he knows there are people who will make a snap decision about him based on how he presents. He knows exactly the image he projects, and he knows when it's safe to change that perception. He's thoughtful, again, of other people's comfort.

Tommy is selfish. He'll break his own heart now to spare himself the pain later. He's scared, because the life he's lived has taught him never to expect good things without the bad. He's a bitch, letting his face speak volumes even when he's completely silent. He's afraid of commitment. He desperately wants commitment. He's jealous. He's petty. He's lonely. He's alone, and doesn't want to be.

Tommy is so many things. He has experienced a hard life, but he hasn't let that life harden him. He puts his heart into everything he does, even though he guards it far more readily than Buck does. He values friendship, loyalty, and trust. He'll go to hell and back again, gladly, if it means protecting someone he cares about. He'll break the rules, the law, if it means someone he cares about can be saved.

He is a complicated, flawed, and deeply intriguing character. He is a study in contradiction. He is proof that anyone can change, if they just want to.

And none of this even touches on why I like him with Buck in particular, but that'll be another post, I think.

You might read all of this and ask yourself, where am I getting all of this? How can a character with only "ten minutes of screen time" provide this much? And to that, I would have to say, you haven't paid attention. He is a plot device, just as all characters are in a work of fiction, but his story is more than just his lines on screen. We met him first in the Begins episodes, where we watched as he evolved in the background. Sure, most people didn't pay attention then, either, but with his reintroduction, that evolution was cemented into canon.

What you need to understand, nonnie, is that a show like this is never going to hold your hand and tell you all of the character notes. They're shown to you, through character interactions and context clues. We know from Chimney Begins that Tommy and Chim became friends. We know from Hen Begins that Hen inspired Tommy. We know from Bobby Begins Again that Tommy made amends with both of them, and were friendly enough that they often went out drinking together after work. We know from Capsized that Tommy is still close enough with them both that Chimney still has Tommy's personal number, and that Hen still trusts him enough not to fight him even though he could blow the lid on her entire stealth attempt. We know from the rest of season seven and early season eight that Tommy desperately wants a family.

Everything that I've mentioned above is extrapolated from canon. Every character interaction, every line, every microexpression, every hint of body language, all of it. I analyse media for fun, and Tommy is by far one of my favourite characters to analyse.

That's why I like him. He's Tommy. It's really that simple.

[itsabouttimex2]

What do you think would make Odysseus a yandere?

I think it would happen right after he drops Scamandrius from the walls of Troy.

That little baby, already so loved that he had inspired a nickname from his father, his people- “Astyanax”, detailing what he; as the firstborn son of Troy’s heir apparent, was set to become- king, ruler, overlord.

And Odysseus kills him.

Not because he wants to, but because he is, at the end of the day, just a man. A selfish man who loves himself and his soldiers and his home, but not nearly as much as he loves his son and his wife.

The only thing that breaks him from the harrowing thought that a like-minded man might be doing the same thing to his own son miles away is a broken wail cutting through somber silence.

Odysseus turns, feet heavier than his heart, hesitant to see not what, but who he already knows is behind him.

Andromache running towards him. He sees her, wrapped in loose white robes, arms held close to her chest, tears running down her face, closer and closer to him- barefoot and broken.

And realizes that she’s not coming at him, not coming for revenge or catharsis or some measure of score-settling, but instead she’s headed for the rim of the stone wall that her son was dropped from, intending to plunge the same misty heights and fade into the swallowing vale below.

She leaps in a blitz of white silk, looking so much like an angel descending that Odysseus nearly misses his chance to reach for her in a sort of awe- though her enthralling beauty pales in comparison to his Penelope, it spurs him to try and catch the grieving wife, mother, queen.

The Itchacan king reaches for her hands and snags a bundle of white instead, accidentally tearing it from her grasp and leaving her to plummet without whatever had been so dear that she would take it to the grave held against her heart.

And after the shock has worn off, after his soldiers have moved from wide-eyed gasping and into solemnly shaking their heads at the waste of good life, after Polites calls for him to please come down and come back to the ship, Odysseus takes a moment to unwrap that little bundle with a heavy heart.

Another child, even younger than the first, blissfully asleep in spite of the carnage and ruin around them.

This time, there’s no god or soothsayer or prophet to chime in his ear an order or command, leaving Odysseus on the edge of a very welcoming ledge, contemplating his decisions as the soldiers below grow anxious at the grief in their captain’s eyes.

Polites coaxes him down again, this time even more gently, so the king wraps you back up and heads for the stairs.

His second-in-command waits for him at the beach, having paid last respects to both Andromache and her beloved son, both wrapped in a tattered sail and covered in rocks to keep all but the most determined of predators away- he and his brothers-in-arms did what they could, and even now spill wine in the sand around them.

It’s not much, but they did their best. That’s all any man can do in this situation.

Eurylochus doesn’t like the haunted look in his captain’s eyes, how his fingers twitch around the bundle of cloth, how he can’t bear to look at the impromptu grave of two innocent souls.

Nobody does.

But the deed is done, the blood is spilled, and dawn breaks soon. There’s no time for questions, no time for further delays. Home is waiting.

Six hundred families are waiting for six hundred tired soldiers, hoping to welcome them with open arms and settle for boring times.

So there’s no hesitating or comprehending or deciding. The bundle doesn’t protest, and neither do his men. No one questions the impromptu addition to the crew.

A living reminder of all the children they orphaned, even if indirectly. Bringing you along is a form of penance that none confess to wanting.

Odysseus holds the infant close as he returns to the ship, wood creaking under the boots of soldiers boarding in lockstep, heavy as his conscience and heart.

…he’ll need to think of a name for you.

[honeypiehotchner]

The Gambit (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- part one

I'm backkk 👀 Reminder that y'all do NOT like each other (for now 🤭)

I did a lot of math to make sure I had my timeline in order but I won't bore y'all with all the numbers. Some basics, tho: we're somewhere in s5/6, Foyet doesn't exist here but Haley and Hotch are divorced and Jack lives with Haley, Reader is in her mid 30s and Hotch is in his mid 40s. That's all for now, happy reading! xxx

Chapter warnings: these two are at each other's throats! and a new case begins ofc

Your day started out perfectly.

You sorted more of your belongings into boxes for the movers. Everything will be shipped ahead so it arrives shortly after you do at your apartment in Virginia. You’re running ahead of schedule, so you even have time to stop for a good breakfast before heading into the office.

The day felt…too good to be true. And you quickly find out why. 

“The BAU?”

Your superior, Agent Reynolds, sits across from you and raises an eyebrow, assuming incorrectly that you haven’t heard of the branch. “The Behavioral Analy—”

“Yes, I know what the BAU is,” you cut him off, something he’s used to, waving your hand sharply. “Why the BAU?”

“You were requested,” he replies simply with a slight shrug.

“By who?”

“Agent Hotchner, as I’m told.”

That is the last name you ever expected him to say. 

“Hotch?” you echo incredulously. “You’re kidding.”

Reynolds sighs. “I’m really not.” You know deep down Reynolds will miss you, but he’ll also thank god every day that he doesn’t have to put up with your attitude anymore. 

“Huh.” You could laugh. You almost do. “Interesting.”

Your now ex-boss gives you a look, and a sigh. “What now?”

“Oh, nothing,” you shake your head. “Agent Hotchner and I have met before, that’s all.”

+++

Ten and a half years prior to the present day, you worked on a case with Aaron Hotchner. 

Key word: case. One singular case.

You were joined by agents Gideon, Morgan, and, of course, Hotchner. You were the only woman with them at the time, and that already threatened to drive you up a wall. To make matters worse, you and Hotch could not get along to save anyone’s lives. 

The two of you butted heads for two weeks straight, but even that is sugar coating it. He raised his voice at you and you raised your voice right back. Of course, only in private. In the field, you were as professional as can be. But in the tiny conference room that you had to set up for them coming in unannounced? All bets were off.

You’ve never been a particularly angry person, but something about Hotch brought all your anger to the surface.

He was the most arrogant man you had ever come across. He explained things to you that you already knew, and even when you told him you were aware of the topic, he’d continue explaining like he hadn’t heard you, just out of spite.

He underestimated you in ways that had your blood boiling. He wouldn’t send you to interview anyone, despite that being your area of expertise. He had you doing busy work, like a goddamn intern. 

You were your office’s own little BAU. You had read Gideon’s papers, been to profiling lectures. You became a profiler because you knew your city needed one, and by your fifth year in the office, you were one. You knew what you were doing, and Hotch treated you like a newbie. 

He always walked around in a damn suit and tie. Does he not own a t-shirt? Does he know what that is? Would it kill him to breathe once in a while?

Why does he have to look like he constantly has a stick up his ass?

Of course, you aren’t totally innocent. You found his buttons and pushed them since day one. He hated being talked over or shouted at, so those became your favorite things. Especially after he began doing them to you.

Don’t disobey direct orders, he said. You did. And you got the results needed, so he had no choice but to move on.

Don’t come into the interrogation room unless asked for, he said. You did anyway. The unsub needed to feel important, a high priority, and he wasn’t. So, you walked in and told Hotch that the Attorney General of the United States was on the phone. It worked. While Hotch “spoke with the Attorney General,” you got a confession. Hotch had to thank you through gritted teeth.

When the case was solved and the BAU left town, you popped a bottle of fucking champagne. Good riddance you screamed and drank straight from the foaming top.

+++

You mutter under your breath the entire drive to the BAU. Your boxes arrived this morning, but you haven’t had a chance to unpack them, so your apartment is currently a shitshow. 

And now you’re driving to deal with another shitshow. 

You haven’t received any emails or texts from Hotch, which is odd, but you’re sure as hell not questioning it. The less you have to deal with him, the better. He probably shares the same sentiment, which is why he hasn’t contacted you.

From far away, Quantico looks more like a prison than it does a headquarters. You hope it doesn’t feel the same way it looks.

The BAU office is just a short elevator ride up from the parking garage, and you dread every second of it. When the doors open on the BAU floor, you want to scream.

But you’re a professional, not a toddler, so you walk your ass through the glass doors and into the bullpen, your head held high like an adult.

“No. Fucking. Way.”

“Hi Morgan,” you mirror his grin, accepting his hug. “Miss me?”

He’s in the same black t-shirt and black jeans he always wears, his haircut just the same but shorter. And he finally got rid of the “shaving my face every morning” routine. Stubble looks much better on him.

“For ten years,” Morgan reminds you. “What brings you here?”

You shrug cheekily, feigning innocence. “I heard there was an opening.”

His grin, somehow, grows wider and brighter. “Come here!” He tackles you in another hug, this time lifting you up and spinning you. “God is on my side to-day. Where’s Reid?”

“Putting a disastrous amount of sugar in his coffee,” a blonde woman says as she passes, then stops. “Oh, hi. I’m JJ, you must be Agent L/N. I heard you were coming in today.”

You escape from Morgan’s grip to shake JJ’s hand. “That’s me. JJ, you said?”

She nods, shifting her feet to a more comfortable position in her heels. “I’m the BAU liaison, so you’ll see a lot of me. And very little of me. It’s complicated.”

“I hear that,” you chuckle, just glad to see another woman has joined the team.

And to your surprise, another joins the circle, this one with black hair parted down the middle. “Emily Prentiss,” she says, sticking out her hand. “Are we finally getting another woman around here?”

You nod, glad to hear she agrees with your unspoken comment. “Looks like it.”

“Did someone call my name?”

You turn and see the infamous Dr. Reid stirring a mug of sugar with a splash of coffee. He’s wearing a cardigan, per usual, and what looks like the same pair converse from when you first met him five years ago at a lecture the BAU put on. He was brand new back then. His eyebrows furrow when he sees you, and then they go wide.

“Y/N? Hi!” he says excitedly, nearly spilling his drink. “It’s been so long! Wha— What are you doing here?”

You give JJ and Emily a look that only you three truly understand. “Why do none of the men assume I’ll be joining the team?”

Emily laughs. “Believe me, I wish I knew.”

“Wait, seriously?” Reid blurts. “Are you really joining us?”

“Sure am,” you grin. “And once I get out of this meeting with Hotch, you’re telling me when the hell you joined a boyband.”

“Oh, ouch,” Morgan taps Reid’s arm lightly with a grin.

“Uh, you too, Derek,” you punch him, letting him know he isn’t off the hook either. “What’s up with the shirt? Do you not own another color?”

“Damn, momma,” Morgan groans. “You haven’t changed.”

“Neither have you,” you pat his cheek.

“I like you already,” Emily grins.

“Agent L/N,” an unmistakable voice comes from the top of the stairs, effectively ruining the moment. 

He definitely hasn’t changed, you think to yourself as you slowly turn around. 

“Agent Hotchner,” you mimic his tone. “Nice to see you again.”

He grips the railing a little too tightly. And he’s still wearing a damn suit, with a damn tie knotted so tight you wonder if it’s choking him. If it’s not, you want it to be. Maybe he’ll shut up then. 

“I believe our meeting was scheduled for 9am,” he says, earning a sideways glance from the other man standing on the balcony. 

“It still is,” you reply, looking beside his head at the clock on the wall and shit. “I’m late. That’s my fault, sir. I apologize.”

“Yes, it is,” he says. “We need to make this short. Hurry up.” 

He turns and disappears into his office like some imitation of Dracula. You give Derek a helpless look.

“Welcome back,” Reid says, grimacing.

“Thanks, bud,” you reply, knowing he means well. “If any of you hear any screaming, pay no mind, that’s just how we greet each oth—”

“Agent L/N!” Hotch shouts from his doorway.

“Coming!” you shout back, just as loud and just as annoyed. “For fuck’s sake,” you mutter to yourself.

You hop up the stairs two at a time, reaching Hotch’s office in seconds. 

The man that was beside Hotch offers you a smile. “I’m Agent Rossi,” he extends his hand. 

“Agent L/N,” you return the friendly expression, shaking his hand, just glad that he at least seems happy to meet you. “I’ll see you soon, I’m sure.”

Rossi nods slowly, mouthing, “Good luck.”

You like him already. You smirk.

Hotch is standing behind his desk when you walk into his office, anger written all over his face. His arms are crossed over his chest, fingers picking at his nails ever so slightly.

“Close the door.”

“Promise not to shoot me?” you joke, but it doesn’t land. You shut the door and take a seat in front of his desk while he remains standing. “Well?”

Finally, he speaks. “What the hell are you doing here?”

You let out a laugh. “Oh, great.” You sit up because this is just stupid. “Are you kidding me? This is the last division I wanted to work in, but I was transferred here. At your behest, might I add—”

“I can assure you, Agent L/N, I did not request that you join my team,” he says as he sits down, rolling toward his desk and placing his arms over the files littered before him.

“Well then Agent Reynolds is a fucking liar, I guess,” you deadpan. “He’s the one who told me I was assigned to the BAU — because of you.”

“Well it wasn’t me.”

“Glad we got that settled,” you shoot back, wanting instead to add, like I fucking care if it was you or not. “Listen, whether either of us likes it or not, I was assigned here, so I’m here. If you want me to leave, take it up with Agent Reynolds or whoever the fuck really requested me. But I can’t do shit about this, and this is now my job, so I’m not leaving just because you want to have some pissing contest.”

He looks like he’s chewing on fire. “Your job security is not my problem—”

“For God’s sake, call your fucking boss, it won’t make you any less of a man to ask a goddamn question about why you have a new agent in your office.”

Hotch glares at you, but does as you say, picking up his desk phone and pressing a few buttons.

You sit back in your chair, waiting in silence. You turn your head to look through the blinds because Hotch didn’t close them all the way, and you nearly start to laugh. Huddled around one desk, Morgan, JJ, Emily, Reid, and another blonde woman dressed in bright colors and shapes are listening intently to Reid who is no doubt lip reading and translating this entire conversation.

Finally, the line connects and Hotch starts speaking. Almost as quick as the phone call begins, it ends.

“Well?” you ask.

“There was some miscommunication,” Hotch admits, though he does not look happy about it. “Welcome to the Behavioral Analysis Unit.”

You smile sarcastically. “Thank you, Agent Hotchner.”

“You’re dismissed,” he says. “We’ll meet in the conference room in five minutes to discuss the rest of today. Don’t be late.”

“Yes, sir,” you mutter as you escape his office, just glad he didn’t torture you with a handshake.

Emerging from Hotch’s office, you stand against the railing and ask the team where the conference room is.

Morgan points to your left. “Why?”

“He told me we’re meeting there to discuss—”

“That’s on hold now,” JJ says, whirling around the BAU with an armful of files. “We’ve got a case. Missing girl, thirteen years old.” She passes out files in the bullpen, handing one to you as she ascends the stairs.

“Shit,” you mutter. “How long has she been missing?”

“Starting without me?” Hotch asks as he walks out of his office. He takes a file from JJ and says a quiet, “Thanks.”

“Yep, we are,” you say right back, scanning your file. You think you hear Rossi let out a chuckle at your response. “Gone since this morning. Are they certain it wasn’t overnight?”

“The mother dropped Lila off at school this morning at seven, and by nine, she was absent,” JJ explains as everyone fills into the conference room. “They paged her at school over the intercom, but she’s not in any of the classrooms.”

“How are we hearing about this so quickly?” Morgan asks. “I mean, I’m glad, but it’s been…just over an hour. We don’t normally have this much time.”

“Because,” JJ pauses, pointing the remote toward the TV. “This is Lila’s father.”

On the screen, the FBI’s Most Wanted are staring back at you. JJ clicks again, and one face comes forward.

“Who?” Emily says.

“Richard Monroe,” Reid says aloud. “He’s been on the run for almost two years. He’s said to have killed a dozen people, all females, but they suspect there might be more. Every time we’ve come close to catching him, he gets away.”

“And now his daughter is missing,” Rossi adds. “I’m guessing this guy is our unsub.”

“I don’t know,” you stare into Richard’s eyes on the screen. “When was he last seen?”

“You can investigate that when we get there,” Hotch says curtly. “They’re waiting for us and we’ll lose time by flying. Wheels up in ten.”

Everyone files out of the room and Hotch stays back, waiting for you to be the last one in the room.

“Agent L/N,” Hotch gets your attention. “Since you’ve never tackled a case like this before, try your best to follow orders, and watch what the team does. Don’t make any rash decisions and don’t go off on your own.”

None of his comments anger you as much as the first one. “You don’t know that I’ve never encountered something like this.”

“Don’t argue with me when we have a missing girl,” Hotch snaps. “Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal,” you reply, pushing past him.

“I hope you have a go bag,” he calls after you. “There will be no time for shopping when we’re on the ground.”

“Then I’ll just wear your clothes!” you yell back, knowing it’ll get a rise out of him. You hear Morgan snicker down in the bullpen. 

“Agent L/N,” Hotch says, and when you turn around, you see he’s giving you his famous stare.

You sigh. “My bag is in my car. It’ll take me two minutes to grab it. That’s clearly less than ten. Unless you have anything else to say that might delay me further?”

“Go,” he says, waving you away as he heads into his office to grab his bag. “Now.”

+++

While you’re on the jet, you do some research on Richard Monroe. He’s a grade A piece of shit if you’ve ever seen one.

But he’s not the type to go after his daughter.

“Garcia, can you check and see if Richard tried at all to contact Lila on her cell?” you ask.

“I would, sweets, but I can’t find Lila’s phone. Their house phone, however, has no calls.”

“He wouldn’t call the house phone, not with Lila’s mom watching over her like a hawk,” you murmur. 

Hotch lifts his head. “How do you know that?”

“Know what?”

“That her mother would be overbearing.”

“Her father’s a serial killer on the run, Hotch,” you reply. “Any mother would keep tabs on her daughter’s every breath if she had a father like that. It’s logic.”

“She makes a fair point,” Rossi says.

“It’s unfounded,” Hotch ignores him, still dead set on irritating you. “Until you talk to her mother, don’t jump to any conclusions about her behavior.”

You raise your eyebrows. “Until I do?”

“Yes, you will be talking to her mother when we get on the ground. Morgan will go with you.” He nods to Derek. “Reid, you and JJ get set up at the precinct. Prentiss, Rossi, and I will go to the middle school. We’ll meet back at the precinct to discuss our next steps.”

You share a look with Morgan before sinking back in your chair, glaring at the file instead of Hotch.

It's going to be a long fucking day.

[impossibleprincess35]

In my feels about Luthen and Kleya thoughts:

In spite of the carefully calculated distance between them, Luthen loved Kleya like a daughter.

The business of taking on personas was vital to their survival, yes, but it served them both in individual ways.

Luthen had been a soldier and he knew how bad things were but also how much worse they could get. He knew what horrific things men would do in the act of "taking orders," and with this in mind, he wants to protect not only Kleya, but also himself.

Out of love for her, because she had already lost everything, he constructed that distance so that she would never suffer that kind of personal loss again; and it would prepare her for a lifetime of further losses that were bound to happen as the Empire's reign continued.

But that distance served him, too, because had he not established a line of delineation between "family" and "colleague," he knew he would have blurred the lines.

As their partnership grew and Kleya proved herself to be cunning and gifted, and she showed natural proclivities to lead, he retired his ego and let her. He took direction from her. He followed her lead. He trusted her.

Because Kleya has always been the catalyst.

Without her, Luthen might have remained a sergeant in that ship, chanting for the death and violence to stop as he questioned his morals and the validity of his soul until he was found out and court martialed.. then sent to his death for insubordination.

Kleya, without knowing her importance, rescued him, delivering him from the horror he knew. She gave him a new purpose that served as his redemption.

In the end, Luthen loved her so much that he overrode her plans and made them switch places. He refused to let her lead in the very last decision of their partnership. It wasn't strategic. It wasn't even clever. It was him sacrificing himself for her, like a father would for a daughter.

And in his final moments, as she rescued him one last time from the Empire's interrogation and torture, you could see the conflicting feelings on her face.. the way she had to reconcile the way she loved him with the distance that had been constructed between them.

She doesn't lose control. She doesn't fall apart. She understands it, she accepts it, and she moves forward.

Because Kleya was always going to survive whatever came her way.

But Luthen would not have survived losing her.

If they aren't the best "distant dad" and "ultra independent daughter" combination ever written, I don't know who is.

[dereks-unrelenting-heart]

SFTH Chaotic Highlights (Lost In Your Eyes)

Commentary of the 3rd longform play, I feel like I said a lot more than I anticipated about this one. So I'm sorry or you're welcome, depending how you see it

A large part of me believes Tom chose this title purely to spite the 'absolute specimen of masculinity' in the audience lmao

We're not watching these in order, but it was while watching this video that my mom asked why 'so many of their plays are about war or being lost at sea'. This was followed by watching The Leftenmost Window so.. her point definitely wasn't disproven

Amanda off to a bold start by immediately slapping her mother in the face

Also istg these guys choose either the most common or most random fucking names, and there's never any in between. Here we've already gotten the perfect examples of 'Amanda' and 'Tarquin'

"The sea is a big place" "He was only going to France" ".. Maybe he went the long way around" I can't hear this and not just think 'ah yes, just like Christopher Columbus (probably smoking crack /ref)'

The passion in the way Luke says the word SMUGGLER

"Well of course we won't find someone as freakishly tall as Tarquin" *smug eye contact with Tom offstage* Love that they chose Tom's character for him there, that's funny as hell

Luke/Amanda's mom being continuously incapable of saying 'Addis Ababa'. I added the slash because I'm not quite sure when it stopped being Luke and started being a character choice

"If the law is unjust, is it unjust to break it?" "... I don't like riddles, Amanda" Love when the boys get political-

Mother gets her revenge (slight delayed reaction to being called a bitch, but it counts)!

"They're basically an occupying army of the rich and upper class, enforcing on the working man what they can and can't do while they all gallivant around" "Oh you fucking commie, Amanda" Love when the boys get political-

It sounds like maybe Tom walked 40 minutes through a broiling heat wave because the Angel tube station was shut. And he might have skipped lunch as well. I think maybe he's bringing a lot of reality into this scene guys-

"We're here together! Doesn't that inspire you?" Oh, three men on a ship, we used to be fifty-four-" Impeccable comedic timing Luke

"I told you to tie Rogers down!" Leave Rogers alone, his only flaw is an allergy to singing.. rip Rogers.. *insert AJ's incorrect sign of the cross*

"I used to have someone.. Penelope!" Od- ... Odysseus? Ody buddy is that you?

"But she always used to like to swim, so.. I'm happy for her, you know?" She died how she lived - In the sea

"And I used to have long, flowing locks" "I wasn't-" "You looked directly at my head" You absolutely did Tom, you can't deny that

The cop date being the most obnoxious man in existence did not go unnoticed by me

"The French, they're very difficult. Here, look- Can we get a fuckin', uh, menu" *Luke shoots a look at the audience before silently walking away* "See what I fuckin' mean?"

Amanda, on the verge of tears: "If someone were to go to France and not return on time, what do you think would've- would've happened to them?" Cop, apathetically: "Dunno darlin', do you want the um-" AJ's delivery kills me here, he really couldn't give less of a fuck about this hypothetical scenario

"Your knowledge of the French is very charming" *Cop immediately pawns the question off onto Luke's character who he previously said he didn't trust*

He just really fucks up the phrasing of it too

"I didn't catch your name" "I did not give it" I know it's a basic joke but I immediately thought of the Heathers musical

"It's just as well I'm not talking to you!" Have I mentioned I love Luke's character in this scene? So few words and yet the sass is unmatched

Also the irony of AJ saying he can't understand the French guy is not lost on me

"Just west of north Africa" "Are you sure?" "Yeah- Yes actually I am. I am sure." Love when you just know it's not the character talking anymore, it's just Luke

"Do you believe in true love?" "Yes I do.." "Not me and you-" These two can't go one play without flirting with each other, whether the plot calls for it or not

Similarly, is it even a SFTH play if Sam and Luke don't kiss at least once, whether the plot calls for it or not-

"Oh I stabbed you with my gun" And so begins a great running joke

And I am genuinely disappointed Luke's French waiter died, these guys have a way of making me care about the fates of characters I've only known for a minute or so

Absolute gibberish from AJ as he searches his mind vault for the same accent

At least Tarquin didn't leave Odyss- I mean Belly-Boots hanging for that hug

Remember what I said about liking to see AJ get a chance to show off his French in OMGITAJ? Well it also applies to Luke getting to speak fluent Spanish as the random guy from the Canary Islands

Luke: *is the most friendly guy ever, welcoming them to the islands* Tarquin: "I think he's threatening us"

Seriously idk if it's just my bias, but why are Luke's minor characters so likeable in this one, this is the 3rd of his guys that I've gotten attached to in an insanely short amount of time

I've watched this play like 5 times and I still don't fully know what's going on with the languages here. I think they decided Belly-Boots was just suddenly understanding Luke, but I have no idea what the original plan was

A minute later and none of the characters know what's going on either, and they're all confusing each other

The fact even Sam was caught off guard by Tom's accent(?) for the guy on the Petit Flo

"Tarquin who?" ".. Tarquin Rockhard" I actually don't know if Sam did this on purpose or if he did forget Tarquin's exact surname and used an innuendo to cover it up. Either way seems pretty believable

Classic 'AJ inserting himself into the scene' moment, of the 'random animal' subgenre. A shame that Bobo dies moments later, only breifly walking on water before succumbing to the depths of the Non-English ocean

Pirate Dude: "It's your ship now, my lady" Definitely Sam and not Amanda: "What?"

"The heat's had an effect on me.. Should've had lunch" This man better have gotten food right after the show, he's clearly starving

Amanda: "Have you sailed in her?" Tom, a perfect 90 degree angle: "Clearly."

AJ's little "Hello?" after Tom doesn't respond to him always kills me-

Singing allergies, a horrible way to go 😔

"You already had it poured-" "I knew you would come" I have recorded evidence from less than a minute ago that you did not know he would come

"You can never go home" Fuck did he drug Tarquin? "It's- it's strong stuff, isn't it?" Oh fuck he drugged Tarquin "What have you put in this drink?" *collapses* OH FUCK HE ACTUALLY DRUGGED TARQUIN

The Canary Island guide has heavy NPC energy and I'm living for it

"He's tall, he's handsome, and he looks a little bit like Superman" At least he didn't add on 'with a wasting disease' this time

"A perfect place to find one's true love-" "You're looking for true love?" "NOT YOU" Sam you can't really blame him when you keep directly flirting with every one of his characters

"We met once at a Christmas party" That joke has no right to be this funny, but it just leads me to so many questions and gives me answers to none of them- Why was there a smuggler Christmas party like it's a fucking office job? Did everyone bring their non-smuggler partners? Does Amanda's mom know this party even happened?

AJ changing his character's lie from 'he's dead' to 'he never left' to 'he killed so many animals' in the span of like 20 seconds. Absolute cinema

"I've got a gun and I'm not afraid to stab you" "I've also got a gun, there's a man lying comatose on my floor, what the fuck is going on here?" The icon returns

"His accent never stays the same!" In-Universe callout

"How did you shoot him with your gun?" Phenomenal

Sam taking any opportunity to mime-spit on his friends, even as his character is actively dying

Amanda dying is actually crazy though, no happy endings here-

But you know what, thank god the guide survived, I don't think I could handle 3 Luke characters dying in one play

Final Thoughts: Luke plays almost every minor character in this one, half of them die, and all of them are iconic.

[oddyseye]

The gods in The Odyssey rlly seem to favor Odysseus more than others. Is this because he’s truly special, or is it something else? I never really got that...

Oh, do the gods really favor Odysseus? That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? And I get it, it seems like they do. I mean, Athena is practically his personal cheerleader. But let’s not get too carried away thinking that divine favor is the same thing as unconditional love. If you think the gods are just handing him a free pass because he’s special, then you’ve missed the point entirely.

First off, favor in the world of the gods is a bit more complicated than that. It’s not about handing out blessings. The gods don’t play like that. They’re manipulative, they’re petty, they’re capricious, and frankly, they love a good power struggle.

Athena’s all over Odysseus because she’s into his cleverness, his strategic mind. But Athena is not the only one in the picture, and she’s certainly not the only god pulling the strings. Poseidon, for example, is literally trying to ruin Odysseus’ life. Like, full-on vendetta mode. If you want to talk about a god who’s definitely not favorable to Odysseus, Poseidon’s your guy. Odysseus blinds his son, Polyphemus, and Poseidon’s been dragging his ass across the world, sending storms, wrecking ships, keeping him stranded just to get back at him. That’s some major divine spite right there. So no, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows for Odysseus in the divine world.

And Zeus himself is not particularly fond of Odysseus, but he’s not really against him either. It’s more like Zeus is watching Odysseus, like some cosmic reality TV show where he’s the producer, deciding how much drama he’s going to let unfold before deciding if he’ll step in and make the plot twist. Zeus’ favor is never straightforward. He’s just as likely to screw Odysseus over as he is to give him a hand, depending on what serves his divine narrative in the moment (he does seem to take a liking to Telemachus, however, protecting him and granting all his prayers). And Zeus’ help comes down to something far more pragmatic: the suitors. The gods don’t like when the sacred laws of hospitality — xenia — are broken. And in Ithaca, that’s exactly what’s happening. The suitors have trampled over the sacred bond of guest and host, treating Penelope and Telemachus (who, again, Zeus loves for some reason) with disrespect and raiding Odysseus’ home as if it were their own. They’ve forgotten what it means to show proper hospitality, abusing their position as guests with violence, greed, and arrogance. So, when Odysseus is found by the Phaeacians and taken into their court, it’s no accident. Athena, of course, has had her hand in this, ensuring that he’s welcomed and given the hospitality he deserves, but it’s Zeus who ultimately ensures that this moment happens at all. Zeus watches from afar, his eyes on Ithaca, where the suitors are growing bolder by the day, but his focus shifts when Odysseus arrives in there. The gods see the insult of the suitors as an affront to the divine order. They know Odysseus has suffered long enough, and they know he needs help, but it’s not just about him anymore. It’s about setting things right.

This is also why Poseidon cannot kill Odysseus.

Odysseus must not be killed, and he is to return to his homeland. Athena reassures us, at the end of the book, that Odysseus will die of old age, safely, in his home. And who else can make that happen except for Zeus?

If Poseidon were to outright kill Odysseus — if he were to defy the will of Zeus and remove the mortal from the world — there would be consequences. Poseidon might be able to get away with making Odysseus’ life miserable, extending his suffering, but he knows Zeus would not stand idly by. Zeus is not blind to the suffering of his favored mortals, and Odysseus, despite Poseidon’s best efforts, has a divine protection. Athena and other gods work in the background, ensuring that the hero will survive the trials he faces.

Buttttt if we’re talking about whether the gods favor Odysseus, let’s not overlook Hermes, who actually does play a crucial protective role in Odysseus’ journey. Unlike the gods who are more invested in their own agendas — looking for ways to manipulate, punish, or reward Odysseus for their own purposes — Hermes is, in his own way, a guardian of Odysseus’ path. Now, Hermes isn’t exactly smothering Odysseus the way Athena does. He doesn’t swoop in with that personal “you’re my special chosen one” vibe. But he’s definitely looking out for him, because, well, Odysseus is a hero, and it’s part of Hermes’ job to help heroes. He’s the one who acts as a protector of those who are trying to do something great or trying to get somewhere. Travelers, wanderers, heroes in peril — those are his people. So when Odysseus is in need of help, it’s Hermes who swoops in with a dose of divine practicality.

The most obvious example of Hermes’ protection is when Odysseus lands on Circe’s island. Circe, as we know, has this little hobby of turning men into pigs, and Odysseus, like many before him, is about to fall prey to her tricks. Now, the gods don’t generally intervene with every mortal problem, but Hermes gives Odysseus the moly — that magical herb that protects him from Circe’s spell. Hermes doesn’t do this because he’s head-over-heels for Odysseus or wants to see him succeed out of some personal affection. He does it because, well, Odysseus is a hero and a traveler, and it’s his job to make sure heroes make it through dangerous journeys, whether he likes the guy or not. Same as when he sent Calypso the message to let him go. Hermes doesn’t ask him if he’s okay, doesn’t check in with his emotions; he simply says, “Go. The gods want you to go.” He has a bit more of a “here’s a tool, now go do your thing” vibe. He’s not here to offer emotional support; he’s here to give Odysseus the necessary means to get what he needs done.

So, in the grand scheme of things, Hermes’ help is practical, not sentimental. He’s a god of boundaries, transitions, and messages, and when it comes to Odysseus, he’s not there to offer emotional guidance. He’s there to keep things moving, to keep the mortal moving according to the plan, no matter how hard or traumatic it might be for him.

Now, Helios, the sun god, is infuriated when Odysseus’ men slaughter his sacred cattle on Thrinacia, but his wrath is directed entirely at the crew. Odysseus himself warns his men against harming the cattle, showing restraint and respect for divine boundaries. Helios likely holds no personal grudge against Odysseus; his punishment is enacted through Zeus, who destroys the crew’s ship as recompense for their sacrilege. Helios is more of a neutral force in this context, concerned with the preservation of his property rather than the moral character of the individuals involved. While Circe, Helios’ daughter, is often described as a goddess in some versions, she is primarily considered a nymph. As such, her favor or disfavor doesn’t carry the weight of the Olympians. She doesn’t actively choose Odysseus as a favored, but she does assist him after he demonstrates his cunning and proves immune to her enchantments (thanks to Hermes’ moly). Their relationship is more transactional than anything else: she helps him after he asserts control and provides guidance for his journey.

Calypso is often described as a nymph or a goddess-nymph hybrid, but regardless of her exact classification, her power is undeniable. Calypso doesn’t favor Odysseus in any altruistic sense; her so-called love for him is rooted in selfish desire. Over seven long years, Calypso forces herself upon him, coercing him into a relationship he doesn’t want. This is not an equal exchange or a romantic idyll; Odysseus repeatedly longs to return to Ithaca, to his wife, Penelope, and to his home. Calypso’s offers of immortality and eternal youth aren’t gifts; they’re traps, designed to bind him to her forever. And it takes the intervention of Zeus and Hermes to force her hand. When Hermes delivers Zeus’ decree, Calypso is furious, lamenting the double standards of the gods, who allow male deities to consort with mortals freely but reprimand goddesses for doing the same, all to defend herself raping a man. Calypso’s treatment of Odysseus underscores the darker side of divine attention, where mortals are tools or playthings rather than individuals with their own wills and needs.

And now we get to focus more on your question.

Odysseus isn’t just special because he’s super clever. He's special because, for better or worse, he’s the center of everyone’s drama. Every. Single. God. The gods love meddling in mortal affairs, and Odysseus’ story gives them all the opportunity to play out their power struggles and whims. It’s not just Athena pulling strings behind the scenes; Zeus gets involved, Poseidon gets involved, Hermes throws in his own two stolen cents, two goddesses fall in love with him, and even Apollo has his say (it is said Apollo guided his arrow during his battle with the suitors, however it is up to you if you interpret that as literal or metaphorical). You want to talk about special? Well, what’s actually special is that Odysseus is the one man the gods can’t totally control, save for a few honorable mentions from the Iliad.

Speaking of the Iliad, you see gods throwing all sorts of diplomatic warfare around. But with Odysseus? He’s not following the script. Athena helps him, sure, but even she’s frustrated with how much he insists on doing things his way. Snap back to The Odyssey, take his time in the cave with the Cyclops, Polyphemus. Athena can't directly interfere because he’s being a cocky bastard (which is, you know, typical Odysseus behavior). Instead, she just gives him advice, that he ignores, of course. And when he finally escapes, taunting Polyphemus as he sails away? Athena’s cool with that. But that moment comes back to haunt him later, and he suffers for it.

And don’t even get me started on his moral compass, because Odysseus is not the golden hero we sometimes like to think he is. The fact that he gets the gods’ support doesn’t mean he’s this pure or noble figure. He lies, cheats, and manipulates people like it's his job. He spends a lot of time outwitting people and tricking them. Is that a hero? Technically, yes, but let’s remember that being smart and being good aren’t the same thing. Athena’s there for it, but she’s not exactly giving him a moral guidebook. This man lies as easily as he breathes! The gods are all part of Odysseus' journey, but their “favor” is nothing like the unalloyed support we might imagine. Instead, it’s a dance of manipulation, convenience, and power.

So, does Odysseus really have the gods' favor? In some ways, sure. But in the bigger picture, their favor is always conditional, always tied to their larger schemes. Athena may be the closest thing Odysseus has to a personal cheerleader, but even she has her own motives. Hermes is there for practical reasons, doing his job as a protector of travelers, while Zeus and Poseidon are constantly balancing Odysseus’ fate based on their own whims. The gods help Odysseus not because they’re all in love with him and want to see him triumph. They help him because they see him as a useful instrument. He’s useful to them, just as much as they are to him.

And if you think that divine favor means Odysseus is this saintly, perfect figure, then you’re completely missing the point of the Odyssey. He’s favored not because of some inherent goodness or divinity, but because he works the system better than anyone else. He outsmarts the gods, manipulates his own fate, and survives, but he doesn’t do it without paying a price. They favor him because he’s a fellow player in the messy, manipulative game of survival.

And that’s honestly the most terrifying thing about him: he’s not above the gods, and he knows it. He’s just like them.

Kinda how most of the gods’ favors work in mythology.

[gatheredfates]

On the Topic of Plagiarism:

I decided to make my own post rather that co-oping @thefreelanceangel's because, despite having her full and enthusiastic permission to do so, what I'm talking about is somewhat adjacent to her point and entirely inspired BY the fact she tagged @riftdancing—particularly Blink—and I wanted to demonstrate examples of incidence were coincidence and consent do not immediately equate to plagiarism; it's ultimately about intent, and you do not need to tear yourself up on the inside if you find someone with a similar idea to yours, provided neither of you have gone out of your way to copy each other.

First, please meet the troops:

On the left is Miss Koret Swan. On the right is Miss Blink Vaniro. As I so delicately summed up:

It would be easy to surmise, based on this alone, that one of us copied the other person. However, both of these are old characters, written in a time and space where neither of us knew each other, and the similarities have always been a cause for laughter and playful teasing rather than competition and spite. I made Koret in WoW as a sister to a wolf and lamb concept, and Pepper made Blink as a character to an overarching D&D campaign set in a sci-fi universe.

What I'm trying to say is that, whilst plagiarism is absolutely a bad thing, as someone with anxiety over this sort of thing, you do not need a wholly 100% original idea in order to write and roleplay publicly, and many ideas share overt similarities to others that deviate the moment you peel back the veneer.

Koret and Blink are both 'pirates'. Koret is a privateer (said with all the sarcasm a privateer entails; a pirate with the proper papers) and Blink is a sky pirate. All of Kor's theming is around the ocean, particularly the deep ocean, and Blink's is all about the sky and the freedom it gives. But they both have wolf motifs. Kor has had a sister, Blink has had a brother.

What makes these characters different is the way that we explore them and how these broad ideas become niche based on the concepts we want to expand on as writers. What makes them different is that neither was written despite (or even in spite) of the other, nor did one of us look at the other and go 'oh, i want to do x with y because i think it'll be better'.

There are dozens of femme fatal concepts out there. There are heaps of bad-ass men. If I had a dollar for every knight character that was in xiv alone, I'd still be a rich woman. Hell, I know for a fact that my star-gazing viera is certainly not the first of her kind, nor will she be the last. I can coexist in spaces with people who have these similar concepts because I know there's enough deviation between those characters, as I have spent the time cultivating a niche story for mine where broad concepts are more set-dressing than the actual meat and potatoes of the character.

If you have the ick about someone copying you, especially if you have a negative history with them or the person is being weird, you're probably right on the money. I have had characters of mine blatantly ripped off for the former. But this is more for the reassurance of people who are like 'I don't want a pink-themed miqo'te because I know one already exists' or 'I don't want to play with a spore druid concept because I know one exists' (i'm using my own miqo'te here as an example, LMAO). You can have a primadonna, pink miqo'te who lives in Ishgard and is clawing her way to the tippy top of the high houses and I wouldn't stress because my primadonna, pink miqo'te is currently knee-deep in a bog because she heard she can find peat mummies there. They're not the same. They share similarities, but they're not the same.

Write it because you think it's fun. Not because you've seen x's concept be popular and you want a slice of it. Not because you want a ship similar to y's and you're going to gush about how much you love it and try to mosey in with a knock-off (no, this has never happened to me, what do you mean?). You're not going to have the same amount of fun!! It won't be the same!!

But also, at the same time, don't rob yourself of an opportunity to play with a concept because someone else is already doing it, especially if it's just a trope. People can tell the difference and they will embrace it if you're earnest.

You may even find someone like I found Pepper. We laughed at it. Then we made an AU and shipped them. They're kissing. They are stabbing. They are kissing and stabbing each other.

[briefalpacashark]

=The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare=

=Plus a Woman or Two=

=Chapter 3=

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Once the dust of the new arrival had settled, the men were outside tending to the ship as they hit a bout of harsh winds. Looking through your bag for the twentieth time you sighed as you came to the realization. Now in a pair of brown pants held up by a pair of suspenders set atop a light blue button up your bare feet slapped against the deck as you walked past all the men who gave you sideways looks coming to stop in front of your brother who was tending to some ropes. ”We have a problem,” you announced, pocketing your hands. ”What is it?” Gus asked, slightly concerned. ”I haven’t any boots,” you stated. He frowned, looking down to your bare feet that you wriggled. ”You didn’t bring any with you?” he asked. ”I did. Quit a nice pair, actually. Couldn’t swim in them, though. The flight suit was doing wonders to try and drown me,” you explained. ”So why not take the flight suit off?” he asked. ”Well, that would mean I would arrive on deck with nothing but my skivvies. While I’m sure the gents would have enjoyed that I dought you would have,” you explained. ”I much prefer the flight suit actually,” Lassen’s comment earned a glare from Gus, making him chuckle. A smirk pulled at your lips as you looked back at Lassen who simply smiled. ”I would prefer the skivvies,” Freddy pipped in. ”Shut it Freddy,” Gus ordered. ”Yes sir,” Freddy smiled.

”Any of you boys have a spare pair?” Gus asked. Shortly after, Lassen placed a pair of boots in front of you. You propped an eyebrow, looking up at the smiling Swed. ”While I greatly appreciate the offer,” you picked up the boot that almost dwarfed the size of your head. “I’m more likely to drown in this boot than I was the sea,” you finished. ”Well it’s the only spare pair we have,” Gus said, taking the other. ”There are the best boots on the market,” Lassen boasted. ”How so? Made of special squirrel leather?” you asked. ”Yes, how did you know?” Lassen quick response to your quip had you smiling. A smile he found dangerously contagious. ”I could make it work. But I’ve had to gut the poor buggers. I’d hate to ruin such a good pair of boots,” you said. ”Please, think of it as a gift. A welcome to the team,” Lassen stated with a shrug. In spite of his statement he looked reminiscent on the pair of boots. ”Ah of course. Welcome to the team. Now let me cut up a pair of boots you clearly have some attachment to,” you took the boot from your brother holding them out to Lassen. ”I grew up running barefoot through the shire. I’ll be fine until we acquire another pair,” you gave a thankful nod and a kind smile. ”I insist,” he shock his head pleasantly surprised at your kind gesture. ”So do I,” you said. With a huff, he smile tilting his head to the side. ”Then I suppose we are at a standstill,” he said. ”It seems we are,” you sighed. ”Only difference is, when I’m stood at a stand still I never back down,” you finished pulling the boots back to you starting to fiddle with the laces. ”Neither do I,” he said crossing his arms over his chest. The poor shirt he was wearing strained at the flex of his muscles. You hummed as you took in the apple assortments of such he had. ”What ever shall we do then?” you questioned. ”Please Ma’am. No lady should be walking around bare foot while a man stands booted beside her,” he explained. You chuckled at the address. ”Listen closely, boys. Ma’am is not something I like to be called. You can call me Pat. Patsy, Patience. Miss or lad. Anything but Ma’am,” you beckoned Lassen down. He frowned but obeyed, leaning down. ”Good las,” you smiled, slinging the boots you tied together by the laces around his neck. Giving his cheek a little pat you smirked before moving away. He paused a wide smile spreading across his face as he straightened up to watch you walk away. ”Also,” you stated, pulling your sniper out of its case. Sliding a magazine into it, you cocked the gun. “We have a large ship off the starboard side,” you said, resting your gun on the roof of the control room. The boys instantly moved to examine it, squinting through the sun. You leaned down, looking through the scope. Seeing the nazi symbol you tisked. ”And they don’t look friendly,” you stated. ”What are we looking at, Patsy?” Gus asked. ”A problem,” you admitted honestly. You took in the large turret gun. “A rather like one at that,” you continued. ”Possibility of being blown to bits at the first sign of aggression?” Gus asked. ”100% Gusly,” you said, looking up from the scope. ”Right well. Hasey how’s your Swedish?” Gus asked. ”Non existing sir,” Hasey admitted. “Accent?” you asked. ”Only the one I was born widh,” he said. ”Right Hasey hidden below deck. Well stay up here, Pat you hide that gun of yours until the times right,” Gus said. ”You know I’m a terrible shot close distance brother,” you said. ”How does that work?” Hasey asked. ”Well the closer someone gets to me, the better the chance of my bullet misses,” you explained. ”You could hide down below,” Gus suggested. You chuckled amused by the suggestion. ”And miss a chance to gut a Nazi?” you laughed, shaking your head. ”Right then. Freddy,” Gus finalized, turning to Freddy with a grin. ”You're going for a swim,”

You watched the small little boat filled with Nazi solider’s trudge up to the boat. ”Stay safe Pat,” he whispered. ”Never,” you grinned. It was always your saying. Every time before you were about to go into something dangerous, he would say it. And you would respond the same way. The small boat pulled up to the side and in it stood a small little angry german. Lassen waited by the opening with his hands on his hips. There was a stale air as you waited. ”Where do you sail from?” from his little wings on his shoulders you assumed he was a Major asked in German. “Er, Sweden,” Lassen’s demeanor seemed to do a complete turn as he played the part of innocent little fisher. ”Do you speak the English?” the Major asked. ”I’m... I’m... Swedish but I speak a little English,” Lassen said. ”We’re coming on board,” The Major stated. They quickly filed onto the vessel the Major ordering the boat to be searched. ”All are welcome. All are welcome,” Lassen now stood next to the steering wheel beckoned them all on as they passed by. You stood by the entrance of the below deck smiled, giving small greetings. ”Even the little one. He can come too. Welcome,” while you could understand why Lassen was so nonchalant about it, you couldn’t muster any more than a smile as the Major stepped up to you, looking you up and down, his eyes shamelessly resting on your chest for a moment longer. But being a woman, his question wasen’t for you. He turned to the boys. ”Why are you here?” The Major asked accusingly. ”Just a little sailing holiday,” Gus said with a rather good Swedish accent. The major hummed, his gaze turning back to you. Where his eyes once again fell to your chest. Seeing the gaze and the discomfort it brought you, Lassen stepped up, placing a hand on the Majors shoulder, drawing his gaze from you. ”A jolly holiday trip,” he said. ”Take your hands off,” the major demanded, his already sour gaze turning more so. While there was little suspicion about it, he didn’t trust them in the slightest. Or perhaps he didn’t like them. ”Papers? Passport?” He asked. Gus pointed to the control room where Lassen reached in and retrieved said forged papers. Your eyes flicked to the man behind you as they searched every part of the boat. Lassen handed them over, “Here you go,” knowing they were well-forged passports. The major wasn’t able to find any fault in them.

”Any other people on the boat?” he asked. ”Just the three of us,” Gus stated with an innocent shake of his head. ”Anybody else down there?” The major called down below deck. ”Nein,” one responced. ”Even so. A lone woman on a ship with two men. Of which she shares no last name to,” The major returned to full height flipping open your passport. Your heart sunk, but you kept your face calm. ”Ah. You see, In Sweden we are a very progressive country. Equality between man and woman is very important to us,” Lassen called. The major hummed again, a sick smile twisting his face. It wasn’t a good enough reason. You could see it. ”Ack, don’t be like that,” you chuckled bashfully. “You will excuse my fiance, he is a little shy. I told him I had never been out to sea before. He surprised me with this little holiday to celebrate our engagement,” you played the blushing bride as you smiled innocently batting your eyelashes. Leaning closer, you whispered. “You know how men are, they would rather roll over dead than admit they have a soft side for their women,” you chuckled. The Major studied you looking for any lies. You could see the clogs ticking in his mind. One more push. You moved your mother’s old wedding band you wore on your middle finger to your enjoyment finger before holding it up wiggling the gold band, it catching the sun and the Major’s eyes. He was convinced. Although he wasn’t happy about what he was convinced of. ”It is a shame you are engaged. If not, we could have taken you aboard for a proper celebration,” The major was a man at sea, had been at sea for a long time. To see a woman in any state would arouse the desires he had not been able to tend to. You could feel the eyes on you, the sicking hunger they all shared for fresh meat. “Perhaps we still will,” he reached up, dragging his fingers down your cheek. You forced a laugh at the disgusting feeling that washed over you as you dropped your cheek, subtly moving away from him. ”Come, come, we have lots to eat...” Lassen stepped up behind him, firmly directing him to the table of food and wine you had set out in hopes to appease them. ”Take your dirty hands off me!” The major snapped. All at once it was like someone had tripped a wire. The soldiers scattered around the deck all trained their gun on you all. Most on Lassen who was harshly shoved back at gun point till he was forced to sit on the ledge by the steering wheel. You yourself was pushed up against the mast. ”And you, put your hands in the air!” The major snapped towards Gus who did what he was ordered. You all held your breath as Gus and Lassen shared a look. There were a few moments of silence before a huffy laughed crept up from Gus. ”Oooh! Ho-Ho!” Lassen quickly caught on laughing as well as he pointed to Gus. “You’re in trouble now! You’ve been a naughty boy!” he teasingly called out as they both broke into drunken laughter. The major glanced down to the almost empty wine bottle. ”I’ll give you 100 francs to shoot him,” Lassen offered. ”Don’t shoot me!” Gus mockingly waved his raised arms. The major looked between them, bewildered. ”He hates Germans. You should really shoot him,” Lassen said. If only the major knew. ”I... I’m sorry. You are very scary,” Gus tried to get his laughter under control as the major debated his life’s decisions.

”Make him walk the plank. He loves wood,” Lassen added. The major then looked to you, who gave a sheepish shrug of your shoulder. Moving past you, he approached Lassen. ”Dirty drunken animal!” he slapped the passports back to his chest. ”Guilty as charged,” Lassen sung with a smirk that had their laughter striking up again. ”Lets get rid of them,” your blood ran cold at the german which you perfectly understood. “Take the woman,” he ordered, his dirty gaze claiming you as his prize. Your hand slipped behind your back, catching your brother’s gaze. He knew you could speak german. And he knew you heard the words whispered. You placed your thumb in the middle of your palm and closed your finger around it. It was a simple enough sign. It meant danger. Not that you needed to pass on the information. ”I carry a can of kerosene for just these sorts of occasions,” he nodded to one of the solider’s who received the spoken of can. “It’s been a while, but the last time someone laughed at me when I boarded their vessel, I gave them the choice. Either swim to shore or take their chances on a burning ship,” the major looked between you all. To all your faces as the smiles left from them. Lassen glanced over his shoulder to the solider pouring kerosene onto the deck. “Hans and I wondered which option they’d choose, death by water or death by fire. Oddly, they chose both,” he smirked. ”They made it until the very last moment, until their hair was on fire,” he commented reaching out to tug a strand of your hair. “And their blistered skin,” his hands trailed down, slipping between your buttons popping the top three and flicking the material open to show the top of your cleavage. “Peeled from their fingers, before they immersed themselves in water in the vain hope of reaching shore,” he hummed in satisfaction taking a moment to admire your bosom before nodding to two of his men who flanked you. The man pouring the kersone did so right over Lassen’s boots.

”One of them sank immediately and perished. But to our amazement, the big one, he showed great spirit. In spite of all the odds...he painstakingly made it to shore,” he moved away from you, focusing on the boys, the kersone spilling over the food you were defiantly going to eat. You looked over the poor destroyed treats running your tongue over your teeth. You could feel your patience getting thin. The boys were getting riled up as well. The cruelness of the Majors story was sickening. ”We followed and cheered him on,” The major feigned encouraged excitement. “And rewarded this impressive achievement with a bullet, to the back, of his head,” Lassen eyes narrowed at the man in front of him. A cruel man. “Isn’t that funny? Why aren’t you laughing?” the major asked. The tension was so thick at that point just about anything could cut it. What did though was a bang, then the sound of bullets firing from below deck. The soldiers erupted in confusion and at the very second Lassen snapped up his arm, lashing out. The knife he gripped with white knuckles slashed clean across the major’s throat. The blood sputtered from the clutched wound, the crimson red running through the pretty white sailor’s uniform. He then turned to the one on his left and did the same. Gus unveiled the gun he had hidden under the table, taking out the soldier who stood on the far front of the ship than the one at the other. You stamped your foot down on the edge of your gun, hidden by a simple rucksack, and the barrel snapped up into your hold. Hoisting it up, you tucked your finger on the trigger, tilting the gun first to the left, hovering it right under the solders chin before blowing his brains into a beautiful burst of red. You then tilted it to the right and did the same. Hasey emerged from below, quickly taking out another two while Gus took out one that ran from around the side. Hasey walked past you as you hoisted your gun up into a proper position, taking out the one that followed him as he took out the remaining soldier on the boarding boat. You all then turned to Lassen as he expertly dispatched the last three with nothing but his knife. He walked past you shoving a solider, all the while stabbing his neck until he went limp. He then shoved him to the side before literally gutting the last one before shoving him over the side of the ship. The solider he had killed moments before hung over over the railing. Reaching down Lassen grabbed the scuff of his pants, lifting it and chucking him over board. All of which Gus watched with a bemused smile and you with an impressed prop of your eyebrow. ”Nice work, Lassen,” Gus cheerily said setting his gun down. With all the danger now disposed of, you let your gun lower.

“Work, looked more like art to me,” you said, Lassen giving you a breathy nod of acknowledgement. ”There’s more where they came from,” he said, gesturing to the war ship behind him. ”Yes,” Gus squinted off. You moved forward, getting yourself ready, resting your gun on the railing as you kneeled. Lassen groaned as he heaved up the dead major with one hand, the other pupating the major’s hand to wave limply. Gus opened his spy glass, looking through it. ”Not sure it’s working, Lassen. The captain looks rather agitated,” Gus stated as Freedy emerged from the sea hoisting himself up onto the boarding boat. ”They’re bringing their guns to bear,” Gus barely finished the sentence when a missile was shot. The boys all looked behind them as the missile exploded into the sea a fair distance from the boat. ”They’ll find their range soon sir,” Hasey warned. ”Freddy, should we be worried?” Gus asked. ”Oh, I don’t think so, sir. It’s a rather large explosive, so I set a rather large fuse. I located the outside of the powder room, so when it goes bang, it really should go bang,” Freddy explanation was finished by another missile firing. ”Closer...” Hesey stated, the worry clear in his voice. ”Taking out the captain won’t stop the missiles,” you stated. ”Bet you a tenner for a cock shot on the captain,” Gus suggested. A split second later you had changed target and pulled the trigger. The shot rang out and you pulled back. Gus chuckled maniacally as the captain doubled over, clutching what remained as blood spattered onto the wall behind him. ”Should be any second now, chaps,” Freddy stated. You had to admit you were getting nervous. They seemed to have their range now. The boys felt it, two nervously shifting from foot to foot. ”Freddy?!” Gus questioned. A moment later the explosive went off, then the powder went off, resulting in a spectacular explosion. You whistled as the wind from the explosion wafted over you all. ”Good work, Frederick,” Gus congratulated him. ”Thank you, Captain. Now, any chance you can tell us what we’re doing here, sir?” he asked. You propped your gun against your shoulder looking at your brother, wondering the exact same thing. ”Dry yourself off, frogman, and I’ll tell you,“ Gus said, collapsing the spyglass. ”The curiosity is eating us all up, sir,” Hasey said.

”So fiance?” Lassen asked as you all waited for Freddy. ”What you didn’t know?” you asked with a half serious expression. ”Lassen you bastard. Didn’t even ask for my blessing,” Gus commented. ”I would have if I had known. I mean, it’s all so sudden. I’ve only met you this morning,” Lassen said gesturing to you. ”Your right. It was a rather long courting period,” you nodded, a smile breaking your face as you couldn’t keep up the act. Hesey watched in amusement at the interaction. ”Do I have any say in the matter?” Lassen asked, raising his eyebrows. ”Course not darling dear,” you grinned. Lassen grinned back, taking note of the funny feeling that stirred within him. The way you called him darling. He liked it very much. Once Freddy had changed, you all gathered around the table all looking to Gus expectantly. Freddy was seated at the table. Hasey leaned against the stairs and Lassen found himself a seat on one of the beds. You sat opposite your brother fiddling with some of the charting instruments. ”I apologize for all the secrecy, chaps. But this is an unsanctioned, unofficial, and unauthorized mission. If we’re picked up by the Brits, we will all go to jail. If we’re picked up by the Germans, torture and death,” Gus explained. Lassens lips twitched up in a a half smirk at the audacity Gus had. You leaned back in your chair. You knew it was going to be a danger. Your brother only ever called on you when he absolutely needed it. ”So, it’s just the four of us, and her then?” You frowned at the slight quip Freddy unknowingly gave. After all he held no malice in his words. ”Five of us, And Captain Appleyard,” Gus said. You perked up at the name of your old friend. ”Granny’s gonna be there?” you asked. The nick name granny came around in a sort of roundabout way. Appleyard = apples = apple pie = granny smith’s apple pies = granny. ”He’s responsible for securing this information. He is, however, in a spot of bother. He is being held by the Germans on La Palma,” you frowned at the news as Gus pointed out the small speck on the map. ”Our first job is to liberate,” Gus stated simply. ”Oh, so, that’s all, is it?” Hasey asked sarcastically. ”No. We need to confirm Appleyard’s intelligence. That’s why there are two more agents on their way to Fernando Po by train, as we speak,” Gus explained. You picked up a measuring instrument, plotting it along the map to ruffly calculate the time it would take to get there. ”Doing what, exactly?” Lassen asked. ”They’ll be ensuring that those ships are filled with supplies, so they’re worth blowing up in the first place,” Gus said. ”I mean any german ship it worth blowing up,” you muttered. ”True but these ships insure and supply the uboats that have been giving us a hard time,” Gus explained. ”No u boats means Americans on British soil and the British feed,” you whispered realizing the importance of such a mission. Gus nodded. The seriousness of it all sunk in to the group. ”So no pressure, then?” you stated with a bright smile.

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Masterlist =Here=

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[princesscolumbia]

Star Trek Captains, A Review and Categorization

Star Trek is a show about a Neo-military organization that has rank structures, ships, and fights wars, so naturally there's plenty of captains to talk about, but for this post I'll be highlighting specifically the main cast captains, in something resembling chronological order. (But, I mean, this is Star Trek, so even that's kinda up in the air)

Captain Archer

That Guy who had to hand crank the warp engine up-hill both ways in the blinding ion storm. We don't need no stinkin' Prime Directive! Remember The Alamo Pearl Harbor 9/11 Florida! But...uh, maybe don't be dicks about it, not everyone who looks like the ones responsible for that thing we're never going to forget actually wants us dead. Got transformed into an alien, got possessed by another alien, slept with a couple more. Never got pregnant, though (that was his chief engineer)

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Wars started: 0

Wars ended: 3

Times on screen naked: 1

Nazi facilities destroyed: 1

Category: Grampa

Captain Pike

Midlife crisis? What midlife crisis? Everything's fiiiiine. Now eat something, it'll make you feel better. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. Number One, don't tell me I can't adopt more kids, I don't care that they're from the future they're mine now. Besides, we've already got a whole ship-full, what's two more?

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 2

Violations of the Temporal Prime Directive: -3 (yes, it's an irrational number, we're talking time travel, people!)

Musical Numbers Participated While On Duty: 3

Hair: Really Great

Category: Dad (or DILF if you swing that way)

Captain Georgiou

You will be captain when you can snatch the stone from my hand.

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Protege's who required a redemption arc: 1

Awesomeness: Transcendent

Category: Gone too soon, also, MILF who can kick your ass

(Edit: Courtesy of @cheer-me-up-scotty for pointing out an oversite on my part)

Captain Burnham

Cosplays as a Vulcan 'cause she's jealous of her adoptive brother. Accurately called an audience-stand-in-self-insert-mary-sue (shut up, Star Trek fandom invented the Mary Sue, it was a term coined by women fans, so shut up!), but by season 2 she actually gets interesting.

Scorecard

Mommy Issues: Has a subscription

Moms: 4

PTSD inducing life events: Like, all of them

Ships commanded: 3

Mutinies led failed: 1

Category: That One Cousin who married surprisingly well and made something of herself in spite of all expectations

Captain Kirk

Golden retriever energy, would be the Useless Bisexual Himbo if he didn't have so much game. Probably smarter than he lets on. Polyamory King and certified Alien Fucker. Boyfriend is a half-space-elf, main sometimes-girlfriend will go on to create the deadliest super-weapon ever built by humans by accident.

Scorecard

Number of Klingon Bounties on his head: [CLASSIFIED]

Number of women he's slept with: [CLASSIFIED]

Nazi regimes toppled: 1

Number of times he should have had a test that determines if you can stick your dick in it that got named after an upstart from that other science fiction show instead: 1

Ships Commanded: 3

Ships He's Stolen: 3

Category: Slut(affectionate)

Captain Kirk (the other one)

Golden Retriever that got left behind when his family moved away and had to lead a ragtag team of a crotchety older dog and a wet cat on a journey...

No, wait, hold on...

Right! That's the one!

Scorecard

Times he should have been kicked out of Starfleet: At least 4

Ships commanded: 3

Ground transport destroyed: 2 (that we know of)

Number of middle fingers given to Admiralty: 2

Category: Bad Boy

Captain Picard

You know that guy who you see going to the library all the time and always seems to have his nose in a book and always seems to be telling people off for breaking the rules and doing dangerous shit? You'd never know it but he used to be That Guy in college who got, like, ALL the girls and is going to be the Hot Grampa that you don't know how he has that much game, but he got it.

Scorecard

Ships lost in the line of duty: 2

Number of times he married and then estranged his best friend's wife who named their son after her dead first husband: 1

Number of toxic omnipotent and omniscient boyfriends who are obsessed with him and spends their spare time playing with ponies: 1

Category: Inexplicable Sexyman

Captain Badass Sisko

The Cool Dad with baggage. He's got game, but he's got priorities as well, and DON'T mess with his son or you won't even exist anymore to regret it. BLM before it was cool. Led a civil rights riot two centuries before he was born. Space Jesus who can make the best jambalaya you've ever had. Fought and won a war, punched a god, then became one.

Scorecard

Civilizations saved: 4

Native Cultures Treated With the Respect They Deserve: Many

Times He Bent the Rules so his CMO could get some nookie from a Cardasian spy plain, simple tailor: The counter broke

Successful black-ops assassinations completed: 1

Category: BAMF

Captain Janeway

THE single most decorated captain in Starfleet history. Successfully dropped the hammer on dozens of petty tyrants, oppressive regimes, roaming mass murderers, and the Borg. What Prime Directive? Your Mom. Also, probably slept with your mom, that's how much she is the Domme-est of Dommes. She told the Borg to use the safe word...and they DID!

Scorecard

Borg Daughters: 1

Times she told the Borg to step off: 3 (or 4...or 5? Honestly, with the time travel shenanigans it's hard to know for sure)

Nazis she's personally shot: 1

Category: Mistress, but it's "Ma'am" to you

Captain Freeman

She's angry AND disappointed! She's just as good as all the other captains in the fleet, and the good ones know it, but all the rest? They see "cali class" and assume all they're good for is the jobs nobody else wants. But jokes on them, because thanks to that attitude her crew are the flippin' Jacks and Jills of all trades and are more capable of fixing AND fucking AND "fucking" shit up than damn near anyone else!

Scorecard

Times the ship has nearly been destroyed but she and her crew got through it: ...uh...how many episodes are there? And then there's the times that get casual mentions that we never get the details on!

Daughters who should probably be captains now if they were at least a LITTLE more respectful and didn't actively try to piss off Admirals: 1

Times the Cerritos has had to be rebuilt to the point it might as well be called "The Ship of Cerritos Problem": At least 4

Category: Your mom...get back here, I'M NOT DONE TALKING TO YOU!

Captain R'El

Cinnamon Roll, just let m'boy into Starfleet! He just wants a home and a family! I'd like to see full-grown captains who can keep up with half of what this Best Boy is capable of!

Scorecard

Number of species his genetic code is made up of: All of 'em. Even the GODDAMN Q!

Number of Janeways he impressed the socks off of: 2

Quality of his Janeway impression: Bad

Number of Ferengi he out-Ferengi'd: 1

Nazis punched: Give him time...

Category: Teenage Boy Who's NOT GOING THROUGH A PHASE, MOM!

Should I do Captains Shaw and Seven? How about Alternate Timeline Tripp or Future Chakotay? (Going too far down that rabbit hole will eventually lead to Imperial Kirk and Captain Spock from the movies.) Let me know in the comments.

Next Post in this series

[autumnmobile12]

Ambush Sim:  Touya and Hawks’ Relationship

I don’t want to call it complicated; how I write them is they’re both relatively straightforward with each other, but there is a distinct divide in how Hawks views Endeavor the hero vs how Touya views Enji his father.  That's not a part of their dynamic they can ignore, so this is the only way I can write this ship with any sense that it's a healthy one:

Hawks doesn’t know the full story and is also aware he can’t just pry it out of Touya, but he can tell with the father-son interactions that something is wrong and he has the understanding that whatever is causing Touya’s animosity is probably warranted. (He has heard the rumors other Pros share about Endeavor, has uneasily discounted them for lack of evidence and the fact none of the family members ever came forward, and has since come to the conclusion this stance may be naïvely optimistic.)  The same is true of Touya knowing Hawks has a reason to admire the hero but not knowing exactly what that reason is.  He has three main reasons for keeping silent about what his father did:

It is rooted in the years he’s already spent keeping silent in order to avoid the fallout should their family’s story go public.

It is also a matter of compassion.  He is not vindictive enough in this AU to completely ruin Hawks’ perception of his childhood hero, and this also a stance he took with his piano students.  True, there is the debate on whether or not it is honorable or even healthy to withhold that kind of information, especially when the likely response to finding that out is, ‘Wow, I wish you’d told me sooner.’  But this is the razor line everyone in this family walks in regards to their patriarch.

He's made this compromise with his sister; he figures he can do it with his partner.

So the result is Touya and Hawks have an unspoken and very temporary compromise of shelving the Endeavor issue.

They both know this is eventually going to be a discussion that can’t be avoided.

...

One thing I've noticed while writing, though, is their relationship very closely resembles these two:

And I'm pretty sure that's subconscious, but it's the personalities that match up for me.

Shinra is a more comedic character, but he's the character type you don't know to take seriously until they do something extreme and worth your undivided attention. Shinra will be joking and laughing with Celty in one scene, the next he'll be threatening a guy with a scalpel.

In the same manner, Hawks is similar. Trickster/goofball one moment, legitimately threatening the next.

Celty is also a bit of a silly character when you get down to it. In spite of being a serious and levelheaded fairy creature who's calling is to retrieve the souls of the dead and dying...she's clumsy, she misplaces things, she gets flustered, she's afraid of aliens to the point cheesy 80s sci-fi horror films scare her, and she's a terrible liar. What makes her comparable to Touya, however, is the theme of chasing something seemingly unattainable. Celty is a headless horsewoman whose head was stolen from her and she lost centuries of memories with it.

She could survive without her head, but she couldn't live without it.

And then there's Touya chasing after his father's recognition, surviving without it, and slowly learning to live without it in the Ambush Sim AU.

So in spite of the toxic elements of their relationship (and there are a few,) the way Shinra and Celty come together and balance out the bad with the good where it otherwise shouldn't happen...is adorable in all the wrong and right ways.

These two in the Ambush Sim AU are very slow-burn.

Hawks makes the slow-burn a writing requirement because of the demisexual headcanon I gave him. Putting it in the simplest terms, demisexuality is primarily needing an emotional connection first and foremost, and then there’s Touya who’s determined to keep everything emotional locked down due to past trauma. So the thought process is, 'That's a major incompatibility hurdle. Is that even gonna work?'

It's definitely one of the more challenging ship dynamics I've worked with, but after playing with the Trepha ship in the Castlevania fandom for the past couple years, I think I've got a good grasp of how to do it without it coming off as unnatural or toxic. In any case, it is an interesting ship to explore and I hope to do more with it in this AU because Touya and Hawks are very much black cat and golden retriever energy and I love that.

...

“So did you want me to cook or are you good with airport food?”

“Are you kidding me,”  Hawks laughed as he followed him.  “With how I was eating in America, I feel like I should fast for a week.  So many carbs.”

“I hear they have a good cultural variety.”

“Oh yeah, my first day there, I had barbeque pirozhki for lunch.  I don’t quite know what that is, but it was delicious.”

“I’ll find you a recipe then.”

“Really?”  He beamed at his turned back.  “You’re the best, you know that?”

“Yeah, yeah.”  Touya pulled out his phone.  “How do you spell that?

[pain-indeed]

Guys, I really need to rant about Metasusie rn. Like, I don't dislike thoses who ship it, but I have such an absolutly visceral hatred for the ship itself my hands are literally trembling right now. If you dont wanna hear me rambling about how much I hate it, then just pass. Chances are I won't be very polite and organised.

So as time progresses I keep seeing more Metasusie. I feel like now's a great time to remind people why this ship is so controversial in the first place by explaining why I and so many others dislike it. Here I go...

Okay. First off. Why the heck would you ship two characters if the only thing we know ever happened beetween them is one of them at the very least ordering (possibly more) the other to be captured, modified and enslaved against his will, and the others time we see thgem together, he literally can't interact of his own because of that, while she is either about to force him to exterminate his own friend, or she is straight up presenting him like he's a non sentient toy she's about to sell ??? Along with fact that Susie calls MK an it in the second cutscene , and that the only time we ever see them interact in game (albeit possibly not canon) is him running away from her, and her chasing him ?! The fact that some people wiew that as a cool starter to a ramantic relationship is is worrying to me.

I feel like some people ship Metasusie out of spite, if that makes sense. They see a ship that's hated on a lot and they want to play devil's advocate. I understand, really (my own "devil" has black, torn off wings) . But even then you still have to consider what makes the devil hated in the first place. There's a lot of wrong in this ship you just can't ignore.

Most of the fans ship them for natural reasons ; because they look cute together, or because of their common points, and they usually just ignore the implications it has. This is understandable, again, but, if you want to ship those two in a cute way, you have to staight up rip away all the unethical stuff. To do that, you have to undermine Susie's terrible actions (or pretend it never happened), to make her cute, to ignore her character. In other words, you have to woobify her. For Meta Knight, it's no less bad, because he's a victim of mechanisation, like many others, and implying it was'nt that important is just kinda dumb (If that was the case, why would the Haltman company be the game's villains anyways ?) . When I say you can't ship those two in that way, I mean that you have to either mischaracterize them heavily, or retcon what happened beetween them to make it work.

That, or they're sometimes homophobes who want to latch on the first heterosexual ship they see. They make those two stereotypical depiction of both genders. Those, are the absolute worse, for obvious reasons, and albeit they're not the only ones who turn Meta Knight and Susie into people they're not, they always do it in the worst possible way : making MK a strong, masculine knight character who can't feel pain and Susie a cute, feminine and smart scientist who needs to be protected and can do no wrong, so the pink character and the blue character are the most gratingly stereotypic ship to ever exist. I see it often, wether intentional or not. It's so wrong and sexist in both way and is probably the worst iteration of the ship to ever exist. Men can feel pain and have trauma, and women can do fucked up things for fucked reason and be fucked up.

This ship has yet another infortunate message. The Haltmans are obviously a metaphor for colonialists. A colonialist having romantic relationship with a person who was colonised, is basically what this ship is. And if you know the slightest bit about that in history, you've probably understood why I feel so icky about this ship, knowing this is a possible comparison.

There's also those who ship one sided, fucked up Metasusie. This is maybe the one of the two only ways to ship those two without mischaracterisation, and the only one I actally like. Not only because I love angst, but also because it actually acknowledges that the slavery, the kidnapping, the mind control, the colonisation, all of that, is fucked up, and that it should'nt be a relationship. (My own interpretation of this, if it interest you, is that Susie has such horrible trauma with her father that she does'nt know what a healthy relationship is anymore. In the absence of her father, she goes to the only person she has a speck of admiration for, and thinks it's love. In her skewed idea of love, the partner has to follow blindly what she says and constantly be under her control, so when he resists, she just think he needs to be "tamed" more. Meanwhile, MK is traumatised and just wants to escape. Eventually she learns that it's more coping than loving and leaves him alone.)

Altough. Some of those people treat the ship, in its unhealthy form, as a good thing. To them Soos and MK are inhuman people who love by hating. But like, unheatlthy relationships are not a good thing. I only like toxic Metasusie if it's treated as a bad thing.

Finally, some shippers actually give both Susie and Meta Knight character arcs, where she comes to understand she is wrong and he learns how to forgive her/cope with his trauma. Not my cup of tea, but honestly, that's based. Altough I like it (moderatly), I just don't understand why you'd ship that over stuff like Metadedede, where the characters have an at least friendly relation in canon.

That was long, but in the end, if I can't understand fully why it's shipped, I can stand Metasusie if it acknowledge both character's flaws and and Susie's terrible actions. It does'nt happen often however, as most instances I see are sadly just idealised, woobified, mischaracterised versions of them randomly loving eachother without context. I won't (and can't) stop people from shipping them that way, but I'll keep being against it.

Wow, after this, I actually kinda feel better. I ended up being more polite than I thought, too. I guess I needed to get this out of my chest somehow...

[into-deepspace]

out of the black {part 2/3}

sylus/mc • gender neutral mc • 1.5k • ao3 link • part 1 • requests open, reblogs appreciated!!

pre-relationship || the real OTP here is MC/sylus's money :) || annoyances to lovers Summary: After Sylus's complaints about MC not spending enough of his money, they decide to test just how far Sylus is willing to be pushed.

The next week signals the end of the month.

This means reports are due to the Hunter Organization, MC’s point balance will be resetting at their favorite restaurant, and Tara will be asking to go out to some bar or music venue for a night of fun.

Most importantly, it means MC’s bills are coming in. Sixty dollars for electricity, twenty-five for water, so on and so forth. It’s never a time they look forward to. After all, who does? But they have a trick up their sleeve this month.

Or, rather, a card in their wallet.

Sylus wants them to spend his money? They’ll do just that.

They open their laptop and pull up the sites they usually use to make their utility and phone payments. Then, rather than letting everything auto-select to their usual debit, they pull Sylus’s card from its home in their wallet and begin typing in the number.

It only takes a few minutes, but by the time they’ve finished with their gas and phone bills, they’ve run up about a hundred dollars. They stare at the screen, cross-legged in their bed, biting their cheek. A little voice in MC’s head says they should feel bad. They resolutely tell the voice to shut up.

And you know what? They decide the hundred dollars isn’t enough. With a new and petty energy, they pull up the HP website; they’ve been needing a new laptop. The one they have has been through more than any device should, cracked and missing screws and coming apart slowly but surely. They’ve had it since before they began their Hunter training, back in their classroom days.

MC stares at the model they’ve been wanting. It’s fancier than they’d ever buy, a powerful thing with a touchscreen and tons of storage. If they’re honest, it’s something they’ve stared at but never seriously thought about buying, planning to purchase a computer that costs less than half of this one’s eight hundred dollar price tag.

But then Sylus’s annoying fucking voice rings in their head. “I wouldn’t mind if you spent a few thousand a day.” Oh really? Let’s see then.

With spite in their heart, they hit the “Purchase Now” button and type in Sylus’s card number with more force than strictly necessary. They even click on a faster shipping option, one that promises delivery by the end of the week. Before they can lose their nerve, they hit the confirmation button.

The digital receipt flashes on their screen. MC sinks back against their pillows. They can’t believe they’ve just done that.

Stop here, the sweet little voice in their head says disapprovingly. This isn’t your money to spend!

Another voice, louder and more insistent, shouts Make his pockets hurt!

MC sighs. They rake a hand through their hair.

And then they pull up AliExpress.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

New Message from Rich Asshole 8:14 PM Pretty.

MC blinks at their phone. Attached is a screenshot of a pair of shoes they ordered.

Rich Asshole 8:14 PM The red will suit you nicely. Would you like the white pair as well? It would go well with the suit I’m having made for you.

What the fuck.

There’s no way this guy is for real. They ran up nearly three thousand on Sylus’s card earlier, adding clothes and decorations and stupid wishlist items to various online carts and hitting purchase without a second thought. And now, all he can ask is whether they want anything else? Insanity.

Perfect Hunter   8:16 PM You’re fucking crazy

Rich Asshole  8:16 PM Only when it comes to you, sweetie ♥️

With a loud groan of frustration, MC swipes over to a different screen and does something they’ve rarely done before. They hit call on Sylus’s contact.

The call connects almost instantly. MC opens their mouth to speak, not even knowing what they’re about to say, but Sylus beats them to it.

“I’ve added my card to the auto-pay function on your apartment’s billing,” he says smoothly. “Also, I canceled your laptop order.” MC blinks.

“Too much for you?” they smirk, though they know Sylus can’t see their expression. In return, the man laughs, that stupid, rich-ass laugh.

“You overestimate yourself,” he says, amusement absolutely dripping from his voice. “I ordered you a different one with a better processor. It should arrive tomorrow.”

“Sylus!” they shout, jaw dropping open as they make a frustrated, appalled motion with their hands, even though Sylus obviously can’t see it. In return, Sylus hums, low and calm and smooth, just like he always is. “That’s– That’s too much. I don’t need that thing for anything other than shitty movies and job reports.”

MC groans, flopping back against their pillows and letting their phone fall out of their hand. Right, of course. On top of being rich as hell, charismatic, and objectively the hottest man they’ve ever seen, Sylus is also incredibly knowledgeable about tech, both hardware and software. It’s awful.

“You suck,” they mutter, hoping the phone’s mic won’t pick up on their frustrated grumbling. But, because the universe hates them, the words go through, drawing another laugh from Sylus.

“I’m terrible, I know,” he says, and MC can imagine the infuriating smirk on his lips as he says it. “Why don’t you come over to my place and tell me to my face just how terrible I am?”

“What,” MC teases. “You want to have another sleepover?” They laugh softly at both their own wording and at the mental image of Sylus at a sleepover, cross-legged on a fluffy rug and painting his nails over some questionable gossip. But no, their so-called "sleepovers" are something much more indulgent.

It’s not uncommon for Sylus to invite them over in the evening and spend a few hours entertaining them with heavenly food and pleasant conversation. They usually end up staying awake into positively ungodly hours of the morning, chatting and joking and sometimes drinking until Sylus ushers them into the guest room like a concerned mother to make sure they get some rest.

They’d never admit it to Sylus’s face, but MC loves those nights. The hours they spend together sit warmly in their heart, the teasing and fighting and their own personal brand of weird flirting all something to cherish.

On the other end of the line, Sylus hums, as if considering. "How soon can you be here?" MC glances at the clock.

"Give me an hour?" they estimate. "Your usual residence, right?" They mentally go through the time they'll need — maybe fifteen minutes to pack a few overnight essentials and get into their biking gear, and at least forty to get to Sylus's place if they're, ah, selective about speed limits. Yeah, an hour should do it.

But of course, Sylus has his complaints.

"An entire hour, sweetie?" he says, his tone teasingly disappointed. "Aren't you eager to see me?" MC scoffs even as they stand from their bed.

"In your dreams, maybe," they mutter, though they can't deny the truth in his words. Sylus makes a punched-out, wounded noise on the other end, ever one for dramatics.

"You wound me, hunter," he drawls, that deep, honeyed voice coming through the speaker and making MC shiver. Damn him. Him and his pretty face and his nice-ass voice and his stupid fucking brand of charismatic care. MC shoves a pajama shirt into their overnight bag with more force than is strictly necessary.

"You'll live," they say, picking up the phone and taking it with them as they barge into their bathroom to shove toiletries into a little bag (that Sylus had bought them after seeing them store their toothbrush in a rolled-up plastic one). Once that's in their backpack, they look down at their clothes — lounge shorts, yellow fuzzy socks, and some old ratty t-shirt they got for free back when they were in training. Definitely not bike clothes.

"I've gotta change," MC says, not really knowing why they're announcing it. Sylus hums in question on the other end of the line.

"Oh?" he says. "Did you want to switch to a video call for this part?"

"Perv," MC shoots back, prompting a chuckle from Sylus. They're glad that he's not here in person, that he can't see the blush on their face. Systematically, they banish any thought about those sharp eyes and calloused fingers on them and MC what is wrong with you?! Get a grip!

"I'm hanging up," they say, because they don't know what else they could. They can practically hear Sylus's self-satisfied smirk through the phone as he speaks his next words.

"See you soon, sweetie," he tells them, with the barest hint of breathy, saccharine allure. Fucking hell, MC feels like one of those stupid sailors, about to swim to their doom towards the siren on the rocky shore.

Sylus ends the call.

MC sits down on their bed, runs their hands through their hair, and tries to remember how to breathe.

[wanderingaldecaldo]

An open letter to the Cyberpunk fandom in general, and a few people in particular

It’s time to clear the air, and I want to take responsibility where appropriate.

Before we get into the recent drama, a history lesson is in order, both for the newer people in fandom and for those who have been around and just haven’t heard things from my side. This might be long with all the linked posts, so buckle up.

I don’t talk much to people about my experiences in fandom for several reasons — first, I don’t like to talk about others with people I don’t know; gossiping with friends is one thing, but otherwise it’s an undesirable trait. Because I’m human and fallible and absolutely capable of failing to meet my own standards, I have violated that rule, and it rarely does anything good. Second, even when I do share, people don’t tend to believe me because the responsible party, PinkyDude (PKD), has been “so nice” to them. “Surely there was a misunderstanding” is the most common response. 

No, there’s been no misunderstanding. He has harassed me repeatedly, both directly and indirectly, and has deleted most of the posts he’s made or reblogged from his friends/mutuals/followers that would serve as proof of this harassment. I could dig up old screenshots that people sent or I saved myself after being told of a post’s existence, but honestly I don’t want to go through that dreck again; my mental health is worth more to me than that. Instead I’ll present in my own words what happened to me over the last three years. I have spoken publicly about him three times before now — four if you count my response to the anon, which never referenced him or his ship. All of those posts are still visible and will be linked. I told you this would be a long read, but you need the context.

I joined Tumblr in spring/early 2021, back when I only wrote fic and played on console. PKD blocked me the first time I posted my fic, as is his right. As I was new to Tumblr, I didn’t understand the Tumblr app was actually telling me I was blocked whenever I clicked on the links on Discord, so I thought it was just bad software. Spoiler: it’s still bad software (affectionate). When I found out I was blocked, I was upset; I didn’t know about RSD at the time. I sent one anon asking why he blocked people; I was just a lowly AO3 author and he was the big, popular modder, and I was baffled and very upset and should have closed the browser, to be honest. He answered and explained why he blocked people (totally valid!! I will continue to emphasize that!) and shared how blocked people could still view his blog in a number of ways. Honestly, it was too much work for me to go through all of those steps, so I moved on with my life.

Not long after, he did unblock me for a few weeks and posted how someone had shown him how to filter posts. He messaged me to tell me I was unblocked, and we exchanged a few courteous messages. I believe I asked if it would be okay if I followed him. I know he expressed concern about me feeling discomfort at his ship. I don’t remember my exact response but I said I thought they were cute. That was the whole point of me joining fandom — I want to share love for blorbos! Things were civil, as far as I knew, though based on his comments later, it seems he and I had two completely different experiences. Where I believed I was polite and tried to be respectful to someone who had established boundaries, he accused me of being spiteful and vengeful. Soon after I started taking my own VP (with Mitch) he blocked me again. He sent a message to apologize that he needed to do it, and made a vague post that was directed to me, I assume, as it was something like “Sorry I tried” or whatever, and I moved on with my life, or tried. I still saw his Mitch pics in Discord servers when people shared them, though I saw fewer that were just Mitch alone.

The first time I spoke about PKD was Fall 2021, during the “not PKD approved” debacle, where someone (a follower of his! Not my follower! I cannot stress that enough!) reblogged a gif of Val and Mitch with the tag “not PKD approved.” I shared a screenshot with friends because, uh, that’s what you do, right? That’s what anyone would do — share a screenshot of an offensive tag with friends. One of those friends, a writer who had published Mitch/V on AO3 and also received anon hate on their Mitch fics, thought it was funny and used it for their Discord status. Someone shared that status with PKD, and he made vague accusations about who started the hashtag. 

I publicly defended a person who thought they were being accused, a friend at the time, and made the only statement about him that I regret and would take back — I commented on his propensity for reblogging posts that emphasize having the right to block people. I shouldn’t have said that, it wasn’t appropriate, and I apologize. Of course everyone has the right to block people for whatever reason they want. I disagree with what I said then and retract it now. 

Back to how I was targeted... Remember that it was my post that someone tagged with another person’s name; another person who had me blocked because of their jealousy about seeing anyone else with Mitch. I never named the person who tagged my post, yet I was deemed the perpetrator. Many months later, Zwei DMed me when we shared a small server to offer the most non-apology apology ever for telling people that I started the hashtag. Thanks, Zwei! Almost makes up for the other lies you told about me!

The second time was my response to the anon I got trying to “educate” me after the Pawel stream. I never referenced PKD or his ship. We’ll come back to this more in-depth later because it’s what PKD keeps using to harass me.

The third time I spoke publicly about PKD was when Silvay (sp?) posted first on Twitter, then later Tumblr. I posted a follow up the next day. I debated not saying anything. I’m an avoidant person. I don’t like conflict. I have a loud bark and no bite. My former team members can attest to this. But when I do... I don’t make public statements I’m not willing to defend, which is why everything I have linked is still published.

I do recommend stopping to read the posts linked here, and even the other posts I reblogged at the time from other people who shared their own experiences with PKD and the fandom. As I said, I don’t make public statements I won’t defend; or at least apologize and issue a public retraction. But, if you want to stay with the present and would rather have the TL;DR: I was regularly vagued about by PKD or his friends/followers, calling me transphobic and homophobic; one accused me of corrective rape; and I got tired of it.

I thought that posting publicly might bring some closure. It was cathartic to finally get it out and stop carrying that shame, and it was reassuring to hear from people who had similar experiences. At the same time, quite a few people made their own posts along the lines of “HE WAS ALWAYS NICE TO ME”. 

Oh, but he’s always been nice to me!

Look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you truly believe he would be nice to you if you shipped with Mitch. Do you really believe he would? Do you think he would “block and move on” with you, unlike how he did with me?

None of those people shipped with Mitch, or other characters that people in his clique were protective over. A few months later he made a post saying not to tag me with him, and listed off every screenname I had used since I joined fandom, including the very first tumblr name I was assigned in 2021 and kept for several months because I thought it was funny. How’s that for a dog whistle? Want PKD’s attention? Better not tag wash!! [I’m sure there’s a screenshot somewhere but again, I didn’t have the energy to find it.]

By the way, why do I know all this? If I’m blocked, I shouldn’t see anything he posts without circumventing “the system”. We are mutually blocked and I don’t spy on him, or have my friends spy on him. I always knew what was going on because people were always quick to let me know anytime he was vaguing about me. “Friends” who were really concerned about the latest thing he said about me, or thought it was just terrible how people were always attacking my ship and wanted to share that feeling with me, but they only shared those thoughts in private. Slowly I separated myself from people who felt the need to keep me updated on drama, or some of them separated themselves from me and became friends with PKD, to the point that either nothing happened for some time or I just stopped seeing it, at least until last fall.

The last time I talked about him publicly was when I wrote about Fem V Friday in Fall 2023. Through the usual chain of vague posting about vague posts, a third person wrote a vague post and cast aspersions on the origin of Fem V Friday, suggesting it was created out of jealousy. PKD helpfully weighed in about a person named “W”  starting FVF from jealousy and spite, and implied he’s seen things I’ve said about him. I’d love to know what I’ve said, the context in which it was said, and the context in which he was told about what I said. 🤷

My post in response didn’t reference the vague post that spurred its creation, nor what PKD said about me, even though PKD must know my intentions and history better than me. I wrote about my love for Fem V and what drove my continued involvement week to week.

Despite my attempts to keep to my own corner or defend my name, PKD continues to defame and harass me. He has repeatedly dragged other people into his drama, sometimes my friends, just as he did in May when he brought up my anon response again. 

It was over two years ago now that I received the anon to “educate” me on Mitch being gay. I have never believed PKD sent the anon, despite his implications, and I have certainly never told anyone that he did.

Two years ago, a coward came into my inbox on anon and tried to bully me, and instead of spending a day writing five thousand words on “death of the author” and what constitutes canon and refuting the argument that I didn’t want to have, I used that energy to write about my ship in my favorite genre (smut) and published a fic on AO3. Neither my fic nor my response on tumblr referenced Mitch being gay or PKD’s ship. Before we go further, I encourage you to watch the relevant clip from the Pawel stream. It’s only 30 seconds of your time, but those 30 seconds are what PKD and others have used to justify their harassment of me.

The transcript for anyone not inclined to watch:

PKD: Am I right to overanalyze every detail in every place like the gay romance novel in Mitch's tent? Is that intentional? Pawel: My friend, on this stream, you could have learned already that everything is intentional...

The “gay romance novel in Mitch’s tent” is 1000 Beats Per Minute, a shard found all across Night City, nay, the continent as the shard/prop can be found in such locations as All Foods just after you meet Dum Dum, the foot of V’s bed in A10, and So Mi’s Brooklyn apartment. 

The contents of the shard are worth reading, if only for recognizing that the narrator is an ungendered person named “Alex” who is experiencing love for a man for the first time. Is Alex a man or a woman or neither? Whoever they are, Alex is having a queer experience, and to insist that the shard can only be about gay men is to erase a lot of other queer experiences.

Back to my anon response, PKD once again called my response transphobic and homophobic, though I will give him credit for saying he wasn’t calling me trans/homophobic, which is an upgrade from previous posts. He claims that I used the smut that I wrote as my response because I referenced writing “the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could”. I said “pussy eating” not in relation to anything about the claim that Mitch is gay, but as response to the intentions of the anon, which were never good.

The full context of my words: 

Not entirely sure what you were trying to accomplish with this message, anon. Should I pack up my words and keyboard and go home? See if it's too late to return my gaming PC because I can't take screenshots of Mitch anymore? Whatever your goal was, you pushed me to write the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could imagine. You know who wins today? - I do, because I wrote a shitload of words in one day and finished a piece that didn't even exist 8hrs ago - people who want more Fem V/Mitch content do - my meat husband does bc damn, I wrote 1800 words of smut today - not you

PKD is claiming that my description of smut I wrote about my ship is trans/homophobic.

The description of the smut I wrote about a cis bisexual female (Val) whose pussy was eaten by her cis bisexual male partner (Mitch). 

The smut I wrote about my ship, in which no one is trans or gay. 

You cannot apply the lens of PKD’s ship and characters to my writing and call it transphobic or homophobic. That’s not how literary analysis works. That’s not how social justice works.

The truth is that PKD and his mutuals/friends used his ship and beliefs to harass me. 

If that were me and it were my beliefs being used to harass someone on anon, I would demand whoever it was to stop immediately, not only because harassing people over fictional characters is awful and wrong, but good lord, to use me as the excuse? I would be mortified! Instead, PKD and his mutuals/followers used it as evidence of my being a bad person, and after several months of that, I borrowed Silvay’s courage when he posted on Twitter, and shared my own experience.

Now that we have the full background, let’s move on to recent drama and address the Flat Chest body and the wearable pecs mod, and what part I played in the process and when. This next part is for motherherbivore. I wish you had talked to me first. I thought I’d rate high enough for a DM. 

A Brief History of The Flat Chest Body Under Curation of Wash

I reached out to Na in March about helping update the Flat Chest body. I specifically wanted to update it to dynamic to take advantage of AXL’s dynamic clothing and, more importantly to me, reduce the number of clothing overrides I had to install for Hilary; plus I wanted to add toggle feet so I could have better options for shoes. Also I had another OC I’d been kicking around in my head, Grem, that I wanted to make using the flat chest. Grem did debut recently, but he changed drastically from my original vision for him.

Sharing the news with Kitty (shared with permission)

I started working on updating the mod in April but got stuck because I didn’t understand resource patching, even though I was sure it would be easy. :hidethepain: I tried adding the feet too, but everything I did resulted in a seam at the calves. As is all too common with my ADHD, I moved onto something else after getting stuck.

As I mentioned I was interested in dynamic AXL, and wanted to update my custom tee framework for Pride. With dynamic AXL, someone could generate all colors with all logos at once! (220, do not try this at home!) I included the dynamic version of the Flat Chest mesh in the upload to Nexus, even though the Flat Chest body wasn’t ready yet, but as a goal for me to also have it done in June.

I had the UV version working in early June, before the Angel body came out. I don’t remember if we already knew about the body’s existence at that point, but the community outcry against yet another unrealistic and fetishistic body mod sustained me in updating a mod that appealed to a small subset of fandom.

The message I sent to Na the morning I got it working

I got the UV version working first, since that’s what Hilary uses, then took a look at toggle feet again. After further investigation using both UV and VTK bodies, I realized there would always be a seam because the bodies were drastically different from the current body; they were completely different meshes underneath, and the seams would never line up properly. 

At that point I decided to release the functioning dynamic version without toggle feet, as I wanted to get it out for Pride. I reached out to mhb to test, as had always been my intention. For me Sanctuary is the most iconic OC to use the Flat Chest. After some technical difficulties I figured out that she used the vanilla version, and came back a few days later with a functioning vanilla version. I released my update once I had assembled the necessary files and pics from the testers, mhb included.

Later when PKD released the refits for his pecs, someone commented that the vanilla refits worked for the Flat Chest body. That’s been my only interest in his pecs mod — because people who use the Flat Chest were interested in having more clothing options. The release of the so-called “Flat Chest Detector” meant that Flat Chest body users wouldn’t be able to use the clothing refit for his wearable pecs, because it required using his pecs, which clipped with tattoos and cyberware — as is expected because it’s not a body mod, as he himself said on the mod page.

As the representative for the Flat Chest body, I agreed when streetkid-named-desire (Rat) asked me to be involved in the conversation with Berdagon about adapting their “Flat Chest” detector to recognize the Flat Chest body. Rat drove this conversation. I don’t say this to dump responsibility on them. In fact, I visited them last weekend and we talked through the situation. I suggested to Rat that I could have urged them to slow down, but they refused to let me take that responsibility, and at the end of the day they’re right — I can only control my own actions.

I do have one regret and one opportunity where I could have acted differently: when Rat asked Berdagon about the original script, Rat very explicitly asked whether the script was commissioned by PKD, and if so, Rat stated they were willing to pay to make changes; Berdagon never answered the question, and I wish I had pushed for an answer. Perhaps that could have prevented the entire situation; we could have stopped right then. While Berdagon never mentioned payment, Rat was so excited by how quickly they implemented the requested changes that they tipped them for the work.

Berdagon, the original script writer, owed PKD the responsibility to check in before modifying something that PKD paid for. Yes, Berdagon does have responsibility here as a professional who took money for a commission. When they didn’t answer the question, I could have stopped the process and pushed for an answer. I would have stopped things immediately upon hearing the answer that the script had been commissioned by PKD. PKD could still have been outraged at Rat asking for changes, but there wouldn’t have been fandom-wide drama about a body that only a dozen people use.

That’s the responsibility I will take — I, as a professional who works with consultants and freelancers, could have taken steps to ensure that everyone was acting professionally, including the person who received money twice to work on the same script.

Because I feel the need to be thorough in my explanation, here’s a simplified timeline of the release of the Flat Chest mod compared to the wearable pecs:

Late March - I receive files from Na for Flat Chest

April - I get stuck, stop working on it

April-May - I figure out dynamic AXL and convert tee framework

June 3 - I have a working dynamic UV Flat Chest

In response to outcry over the Angel body, PKD makes a poll asking what body types people want refits for and excludes Flat Chest body as an option

In response to people commenting over why Flat Chest wasn’t included, PKD explains he won’t support the body and that he would support a different Flat Chest body if someone made it

June 10 - I share the UV version for testing with several people. Two of those people, including mhb, use vanilla. I didn’t realize that, and because I didn’t name the file `UV` it took a long time to troubleshoot why things weren’t working

PKD releases the pecs

I share vanilla for testing

I post Flat Chest 2.0 before the end of June

I didn’t use you, mhb. I asked you to test because, like I said above and on Nexus, Sanctuary is the Flat Chest character for me. I asked you to test because I make mods for my friends first and foremost, and I thought you were my friend. I thought you were my friend because we’d known each other for several years now, and because of shared experiences and conversations we’ve had. I’ve been wrong before about who is a friend, and this one stings a lot.

I’m tired. I am 30 or 40 (or 50) years old and I do not need this. I have a career and a job I love, and an amazing partner who I’ve been with for a third of my life now. I have friends and hobbies in meatspace and friends who share those hobbies, and the real truth is, if I was actually trans/homophobic, well, that number would be tiny, but it’s not. I have a life that I love and that is full of joy. Most people in fandom only know the smallest fraction of the real wash, and I do not take pleasure in being targeted in a public fandom “feud”.

PKD, I say this with all the kindness I can muster for another human being who is clearly hurting: please get help. Go to therapy or see a psychiatrist or use whatever tools you can access. This obsession you have with me and my ship is not healthy for you, and your repeated pattern of bullying has hurt me and people close to me, just as your need to rehash old fandom drama hurts the community.

[n3felibata]

I hate the reasoning that Stolas losing/giving up his position is necessary for Stolas and Blitz's relationship to be repaired. One of the biggest aspects of this ship is the fact that it's interclass (which, if you ask me, is one of the biggest reasons why it's so interesting), and because of that they face mockery and even Blitz himself thinks he isn't worthy of being loved by a prince. Saying that Stolas needs to abdicate so their relationship can be healthy implies that a commoner really CAN'T be with royalty, so much that Stolas needs to straight up be dethroned in order for a relationship between a blue blood and a commoner to work out

Blitz and Stolas working things out IN SPITE of their class differences would be a better approach imo. Fizz and Ozzie, Bee and Tex, Charlie and Vaggie were all able to do that.

....But Stolas and Blitz can't?

I don't know, this idea that interclass relationships are invalid or impossible to maintain just seems pretty classist to me. This line of thinking proves the point of anyone who's ever laughed at Blitz and Stolas' relationship for being interclass

Blitz shouldn't have to teach Stolas to NOT be racist/classist