#so many callbacks in this game and yet

[misctea]

mood board for when you go to molonoth on torren iv in rift apart. of ALL planets, in a game with like 8 locations, half(?) of which are call-backs to other titles. and azimuth isn’t even referenced

[zvezdacito]

Where Malleus' Character may be headed in Book 8: His place among the housewardens and road to true leadership?

Disclaimer(?): Not the most well-structured text since this was mostly written when I was half-asleep + it's kind of hard to tell what plot Book 8 will have from where Book 7 left off. But I think this was still worth putting out here because I would like to see this idea/something like it happening. ⚠️‼️Also this will obviously contain Book 7 finale spoilers

Since great power and adjacent attributes defined Malleus for so long, even if he's happy it won't stop him from being able to outwardly express emotion anymore, his Book 8 arc will likely be adjusting (he's already somewhat started here by asking assistance to cast spells now) and figuring out who he is as a person. Specifically, Malleus will figure out how to be a leader in ways not relying on these previous advantages (faulty ruling since it just him taking control for everyone)

Malleus has so far been outcasted from the other housewardens + we haven't seen much of him doing housewarden duties in the overall game yet so good time to show it now. So I feel like Book 8 will see his dynamic in the group somehow going from clueless nuisance to the leader of the seven, in time for the Book 7 battle.

Basically a callback to the impression that the twst website art gives off (shown above). Perhaps his center positioning has a deeper meaning than just being the poster boy/final overblotter (excluding what is likely overblot Grim)

Malleus's Dorm Uniform vignette built-up to Book 7 (the social exclusion, uncontrollable strength and magic, Lilia being the only one giving him chances, the 1000-year-understanding thing) and the other housewardens perceiving him as the worst at that responsibility/not like them is the only one not yet explored and "resolved" by the finale. Book 7 ended with most of them still having their doubts about letting Malleus back in, so I think that's perfect set-up for Malleus to be included in them as specifically a leader figure in Book 8. Leona makes a point about how Malleus needs to take initiative in housewarden meetings this time, so what better way than for earning his place as a leader in the group (and not just one who imposes his will on others, but listens and learns)

I think it would be a really compelling character development since it's a great leap from where he's currently at. Maybe he'll go about it by becoming the most transparent one in communication/not being afraid to show the many ways he does lack (since the others usually want to prove their strength instead) and how needs their help supplementing those weaknesses, and encouraging them to criticize him as much as necessary. It would be kinda funny to see them take advantage of his willingness to redeem himself at any cost by being overly nitpicky as like a power trip, but over time I think this would also help them understand where he is coming from too and being more genuinely kind (in the NRC way). Basically him taking the initiative to be open would form a trust that's good for team cohesion, building off what Vil and Idia already started in Book 6 and 7.

Vil became like the leader of the group while they battled at S.T.Y.X, while Idia became like the leader of the NRC dream-hopping group against OB!Malleus. So continuing this pattern, Malleus will gradually earn his fellow housewardens' respect and become their leader against like OB!Grim or whoever. Maybe he'll even rally the public at one point (idk what for since we have no clue what Book 8 lore is yet) and this will connect not only to his own growth but Book 7's ideals of making faefolk and mankind more connected

(Fan translation by Valkyrii on youtube)

Leadership traits I think Malleus has so far:

Takes accountability when he realizes his mistake, is impartial when dealing with disputes

Can be pretty forgiving (like with Rollo)

Gives his greatest effort as the host, as seen with Spectral Soiree and this final ball

Going back to how Book 7 ended, we see him regard all different sorts of people invited to Silver's debutante ball individually but equally. This closes Book 7's theme about different people being able to coexist and truly love each other, but he delivered the greeting as if they were all his people in a way. I think this may be setting up to true leader/king related character development in Book 8, honing these qualities further now that he can't default to power without thinking.

Earning the respect to become such a king instead of it simply being "blessed" to him without guidance or help already comes with him learning to process his feelings rather than just avoiding them and gives him opportunities to actually socialize so he gets better at considering the circumstances of others before he takes action. So when/if something will likely happen to give his magic back to him earlier than 200 years, that's already resolved the problems of him not being able to control his magic power when emotional + he's become the type of person/king who doesn't rely on it or is defined by it at the expense of his personhood anymore.

^ I don't think they will remove his powers for the rest of his main story time because they're still a part of him, since for a story about how differences can't stop you from belonging, it feels kinda wrong that his story will actually conclude with making him even physically more similar to the rest to get along. If you think about it, it's not really the powers themselves that were inherently isolating him, but rather that adults only saw him for authority rather than as a child, so never expected that he needed extra help mastering them first.

His horn breaking is basically just the starting point for him to learn this, a chance to pause he never got before. But I think it will be kinda dumb to nerf him for the rest of his screentime without letting his growth explore this through some inner-child healing first.

That's all... I'm not sure how much of the school year is left for all this since the third years were already talking about their internships. But since Crowley says Lilia and Malleus will be returning to the school the vibe would kinda feel redundant if they came back just to leave for internships again. And I just really think there's lots of potential on exploring that one last part of his dorm vignette + one of the earliest TWST arts actually foreshadowing their final dynamic as a group after all the character development. Kinda funny since Malleus still has both horns there, but I did mention I think something will accelerate its regrowth near the climax of Book 8, so yeah🔥

Also if I had to guess what OB!Grim's (and maybe Yuu too) dilemma is, maybe it's purpose? Like he wants to become all-powerful not genuinely but because he thinks it will make him have a reason to be alive and have people stick by him under the pretense of being like his minions. And Yuu has growing dialogue options (among the few they're allowed to have💀) about feeling useless. So I think Malleus slots in nicely there as someone with his own relationship to utility faced with newfound powerlessness (and him showing Grim there is more to being a truly great mage than the power maybe, and come to terms with what he's really afraid of)

[twinkkisserrr]

One thing I love about Armored Core is that it kinda consistently has you massacre characters who should be the protagonist. Because no matter how special you are, some rookie be it through sheer luck or through hellish undertakings one after the other, is gonna wind up beating you.

A lot of games have special people… That you inevitably kill, as some random ass mercenary. Sometimes you too are special, Masters of the Arena had their family killed by Nine Ball, damn if that ain’t an origin story, IDK what else is… Oh wait, now who you played as is the final boss in the sequel… And you just killed him…

I’m not going to pretend I know everything of the series. So I’ll go over the last 2 ish gens for the cases I know well by heart:

- Rusty (AC6): An experienced AC pilot with his own theme song, iconic mech and has a rich story with many other characters in the verse and is himself a turncoat agent waiting for the right moment to turn on Arquebus and help free Rubicon. In the Fires of Raven route, he goes against you, a new mech, his wolf emblem unmuzzled with its fangs bared and he’s coming at you with everything he has, even getting a second wind when all his repair kits are exhausted. You still kill him in the end, even when you play the role as an antagonistic extremist.

- Magnolia Curtis (ACVD): Descendent of Fran Curtis (AC5’s main operator) following the legend of the Dark Raven (AC5’s player character) and quite possibly their descendent too. Doubly whammied, first she’s crippled and loses the ability to fight after being defeated by Reaper Squad Leader, J, after many years of being undefeated. Then, turned into a digital consciousness, literally sacrificing her soul so she can fight again, a very familiar second wind occurring even with her AC’s arm blasted off and in critical condition… You still defeat her.

- J (ACVD): A soldier bred for war, very likely from genetic material from either Joshua O’Brien or Anatolia’s Mercenary (AC4’s player character), he’s even given an all powerful NEXT in the final battle where he (very edgily) states he is made solely for the purpose of warfare. And yet he falls to a lone mercenary.

- RD (AC5): Not much explicit to talk about here other than theoryboarding, RD is implied to have some degree of Lynx pilot in him as there’s suggestions his paranoia is related to AMS capability and furthermore his last name a callback to the “Dominant Theory” in Last Raven, even the AI Chief thinks he has genius talent and potential. He’s the classic case of cowardly young man who has a lot more strength than he realizes… But in the end, in the height of his ego and embracing of his special nature, the player’s character fells him one on one.

All these special characters with blessed genes, great potential or borderline main protagonist built stories are gunned down by an up and coming merc for whatever motives your player character has, your un special player character who often starts the game in a mass produced mech composed of scraps that claws there way to victory.

Unfortunately, being special does not equate to being invincible.

[weaselandfriends]

youve probably already mused about this in the past but do you think cascade could work as the actual ending of homestuck? like is there a way in which homestuck could be read as a complete narrative with a somewhat satisfying ending if we were to consider cascade or its whereabouts the place where it ends? how much retooling would it need to work that way? is it even possible?

Oh now we're getting the REAL asks.

From a technical standpoint, I actually think it's totally doable to do a cut of Homestuck where Cascade is more-or-less the ending. Homestuck doesn't have nearly as many load-bearing elements as it seems to have at first glance. For instance, I think even the trolls can be cut from Homestuck altogether with minimal structural harm, as long as Vriska's game-breaking role is shifted to Rose. Hussie claimed his original vision for the story was for Cascade to be the climax, and Act 6 to be a relatively short denouement that would mostly involve cleaning up loose ends. That actually tracks with where he left the comic when Cascade ended. The unresolved stuff at the end of Cascade is:

The Scratch has created a new universe, which the players are all heading to. This fresh universe is where they will be able to complete the game.

Lord English!

Lingering mysteries about the kids in the new universe, who have been hinted at a few times throughout Act 5 (most notably regarding Liv Tyler the bunny, which shows up with a note from Jake, IIRC).

Bec Noir is still around, even if neutralized by PM.

I'm pretty sure this is it, not counting one-off lines like Rose playing the rain that are pretty structurally nonessential and could be excised easily or brushed off with some lampshading ("Wow isn't it funny we never played the rain!" -- I think Hussie actually does specific one anyway). There are also a few hints that HIC might have a role in the new universe, but I would likewise describe these as nonessential.

Looking at this list, it's easy to see both why Hussie thought he could end the story quickly and why he failed to do it. With the powers at the disposal of the main cast, going into the new universe and completing the game should be trivial. Hussie probably thought he'd quickly introduce Jake, Jane etc. in a nostalgic callback to the beginning of the story, then round up everyone for a final fight against Lord English/Bec Noir/HIC to put some fireworks on the ending. Cascade really had trimmed down the expansiveness and complexity of the story significantly, which made these few lingering plot elements seem so surmountable.

In actuality, though, Hussie quickly became mired in introducing the new characters. I think his problem was that he was struggling to reengineer the emotional stakes of the story. There's a desperate reek in the early parts of Act 6 where he is pleading for readers to care about the new kids. With the original kids, he took his time introducing them and let their personalities emerge organically over infrequent chatlogs while most of the action centered on John-as-reader-insert doing dumbassery. With the trolls, Hussie treated them like jokes and gave them over-the-top personalities with ridiculous, murderous drama, which fit the speedrunny way he introduced them. But the new kids are in this limbo where he wants to get them working (like Jar Jar) quickly, yet is giving them personalities that are at worst nondescript and at best Dave 2: Davier. (Roxy is the exception here.) They wind up having a lot of very cute, very cloying chatlogs that read super forced and I wonder if their failure to immediately get off the ground is why Hussie felt the need to spend more time with them, linger on them, until Jake winds up with one of the highest line counts of any character in the story despite saying exactly 0 things of value total.

Worse, though, is the villain situation, because it's directly tied to the story's stakes. Hussie has to make Lord English a more significant threat than Bec Noir, despite working at base with only a few references to him from Spades Slick and Doc Scratch. It's from this we get the laborious cherub stuff, the expansive dream bubble stuff (Lord English being able to double-kill ghosts is his major establishing moment of threat), and the general need to make this whole section of Homestuck feel as weighty and monumental as the first half.

The problem with Cascade is that, even though it doesn't resolve the plot, is resolves pretty much all of the emotional stakes and tension in the story. The idea of going quickly from Cascade to a final fight makes sense on paper but it doesn't make sense emotionally. That final fight would wind up as flaccid-feeling as Collide eventually did feel. Hussie's kudzu-plant expanding Act 6 reads to me as an attempt to rebuild to the level of tension that existed before Cascade, one that eventually failed because he got tired with the project and phoned in the climax anyway.

So, getting back to the original question, I think if we're to end Homestuck at Cascade then it really needs to END at Cascade, narratively as well as emotionally. Cascade does an admirable job cutting down Homestuck's plot threads from 100 to 4, but it really needs to cut them down from 100 to 0. This is a lot trickier than it seems because Cascade is, in the context of the narrative, not a moment of victory but a moment of... quitting. It's hitting the in-universe reset button. It's triumphantly hitting that button, but it cannot actually achieve total plot resolution without fundamentally changing what it actually is.

You can slim things down. Lord English can, believe it or not, be cut entirely. Prior to Act 6 he exists only in a handful of lines. Doc Scratch can be reframed as the ultimate evil himself, rather than simply its servant. He already is a pretty good villain in his own right.

Bec Noir is trickier because there's not really a good opportunity for the heroes to fight him. I wonder how necessary that is, though. It's not like Homestuck was ever a story where things got resolved by flashy cinematic fights. PM getting the ring is a satisfying, climactic moment in its own right; does she have to get locked into eternal stalemate with Bec Noir? Can she maybe just defeat him the moment she gets the ring? It's an unconventional ending, but one that makes sense in the concept of Homestuck. Given Collide, that's probably a superior way for the climax to go anyway.

That leaves the new universe kids. They can also probably be cut pretty easily. I'm fairly certain Liv Tyler is the only direct contribution they make to the pre-Cascade story. It'd take some changes to account for that, but not many. Alternatively, since we already can't get past the fact that Cascade is just a reset button press and not a resolution in and of itself, we could leave them in as characters who show up, briefly, in an epilogue of sorts, framed solely through the POV of the original kids. (i.e., forgo all the "Your name is JANE CROCKER etc.) Maybe don't even give them lines. Leave it to the fandom to come up with their personalities.

The way I'm envisioning this is that we end the story as quickly as possible after Cascade, and by that I mean literally 15-20 pages where we show everyone speedrun the new universe with their incredible god powers, maybe with a few cathartic final conversations between the surviving members of the cast. The longer you go on post-Cascade, the longer you're going to be tempted to go on, to make its new elements breathe in their own right, and when you do that it's only a matter of time before you get sucked into the Act 6 Vortex of bringing back meaningful stakes, which you have to do from Ground Zero.

I'm actually a big fan of Act 6, which is where I feel like Hussie gets a lot meaner, a lot more combative with the readership, with some fascinating results. Most of Act 6's failures stem from the failure of its ending, which is a separate issue caused by Hussie losing interest in the project after the Hiveswap debacle. But if you're doing Act 6, you gotta really DO Act 6. You can't just do it halfway. All or nothing.

[cinaerii]

MR. TELEPHONE MAN — sim jy. x fem!reader

✧ syn : in which, your boyfriend jake calls you late at night, but you don’t answer. he then jumps to multiple conclusions.

✧ cws : a few kisses, mild profanities. typos & grammatical errors.

on your line though, a last minute notice about the power outage shutting down for a while as they try to figure the problems about the electricity that were issued by many residents.

you panicked as you checked your battery percentage on your phone going lower, it was supposedly the time to be calling jake and telling him about your day and random miscellaneous events.

as soon as jake finished showering and drying his hair to avoid making puddles on the floor, he immediately jumped on his bed and scrolled through his contacts to find yours, clicking the call button.

now it’s unusual for him that you’re not picking his call up right away. he thinks that maybe you’re just dealing with something right now, so he waited patiently for your reply.

but it’s already been 10 minutes since he started calling. jake starts to fidget with his phone, spinning it around as he continues to wait for your callback. his patience was worning out each passing minute.

‘what if she’s not home yet?’

‘what if she’s calling someone else?’

‘what if she got into an accident?’

“nooo, jake don’t think that. get yourself together.” he finished, his eyes glowering at his phone. before he could make a decision to find out what you were up to, another what if statement appeared in his mind.

‘what if she’s ignoring me, playing games without me, watching or listening to music without me?’

by now, he didn’t know why he was suddenly outside of his apartment building and heading towards yours which was only a few blocks away. his walk wasn’t exactly normal, he was practically stomping slightly.

it’s rare to spot a sulky sim jaeyun.

your house was dark, all of the lights were off so what kept you from being able to see a bit was your lit candle that you were able to find. leading your phone to finally die because of using the flashlight feature for too long.

you were constantly cautious for anything that might happen without you knowing. whilst you were wearing a cardigan, there was little to no warmth you could feel, the goosebumps crawling on your skin quickly.

an abrupt knock interrupted your tense figure from negative thoughts coming into your mind. not just a knock, multiple knocks in a pattern to which you recognized as your boyfriend.

you ran to your front door, the prettiest man standing right infront of you. “jake? what the hell are you doing here?” you opened the door wide enough for him to come inside.

“a power outage?” he ignored your question, as he looked around your apartment, being only lit by a single candle.

“so you weren’t doing anything without me?” he added.

“sim jaeyun.” you snapped, wanting an explanation from his unexpected visit.

“sorry, love. i just thought something happened, so i got worried and.. yeah.” he confessed with a hint of guilt.

you reluctantly nodded at him but asked again, “and?” he tilted his head low, mumbling things that you could not hear.

as much as you wanted him to speak louder, you decide not to request him to repeat what he said. instead you took a step closer towards him, closing the gap between the two of you.

“you can do better than that.” you commented on the volume of his voice which was quieter than his usual normal tone.

taking a deep breath, “i was looking forward to our call the whole day, it was all i could think about. and then you didn’t answer right away like you usually do, so even if a few minutes have passed, i was already getting impatient—“

he blabbered on until he was cut off by a pair of lips over his for a second. he blinked once, twice, and thrice. you let out a chuckle when you saw his face being shock over a single peck on the lips.

though that didn’t last long, jake made sure that you would be the one who was shocked now. “are you calling that a kiss?” there’s your boyfriend back into his senses.

the apartment was dimmed, but the two were igniting their own lights in the room, beating the small candle that was put on the kitchen counter.

— end. thank you for reading!

written by; @cinaerri ⋆ do not steal, plagiarize, or translate my work.

special tags.

@ikeubi

[districtunrest]

ONGOMGOMGOMG. (share thoughts. any n all. you know i need to know. PLEASE!)

HAHA sorry. anyway:

I didn’t really like it and I’m sad about it. ☹️ even though there were some interesting ideas and cool new characters, I was taken out of the story too much to fully enjoy them. it read to me like the laziest (most rushed? least edited?) yet most forced storytelling of the series, which sucks bc it’s supposedly the REAL backstory of my favorite character. but I just couldn’t shake my doubt while reading that this was what we and Katniss were missing all along. too many details (that I memorized by heart as a tween and have made everyone’s problem since) didn't match up, even with the card-stacking*. so I just don't believe this was always the intended ‘real’ story when it’s so hidden from the trilogy... imo, SC went back to it with a mission statement in mind after recent current events (and, more tellingly, after Ballad) and did her thing. which is fine, that's her right - it's just, when this whole book seems more like a writing workshop thought experiment than the intended backstory, I will treat it as such. bc as it stands, all the callbacks & connections & Everlark parallels in the world cannot replace Katniss & Peeta watching the highlight tape of his Games, Haymitch telling them what he did was “almost but not quite” as bad as them with the berries, Katniss finally understanding who he is in that moment, and Haymitch later admitting the loss of his loved ones were because of "that stunt [he] pulled with the forcefield" (which is. simply not true anymore with all of his stunts in and out of the arena). like say no more, that’s good enough for me! it’s what I prefer and what I find more compelling than what’s revealed/subverted in Sunrise. and tbh that discrepancy makes Sunrise unfaithful, at least in my eyes, for all it relies on references to the rest of the series. 

now, obviously I had mixed feelings about this prequel in the first place, and my concerns/reservations mounted with each excerpt, only to be confirmed now... but I did try, okay!?? haha I’d told you and several others privately that I really wanted to like this book and I was willing to set aside my gripes if it was good - but it had to actually be good! instead, the book was exactly what I was afraid it was going to be *and* suffered a drop in quality. I found the narration underwhelming, dumbed down and repetitive, and not evocative of Haymitch's voice. even things I thought there was NO WAY would actually happen and I was just being paranoid - but then they did, lmao. like, it was a letdown for me personally *and* it didn’t even do it well enough where I could at least respect it and oblige, lol

overall, it was just too off for me. by answering and explaining so much, it ended up taking away a lot of the trilogy's charm and intrigue - and did so in a way that left a bad taste in my mouth. it made me view Ballad in a more negative light, too, tbh. so I think going forward I’ll just consider it a weird spinoff that is secondary to the main/trilogy canon. 🤷🏻‍♀️

(some more Haybitching under the cut)

tbh, what guts me the most is what SC chose to do with Haymitch’s voice & character, where she watered him down to what he needed to be for this lesson & this plot. it’s frustrating that the dangerous, cunning, arrogant boy that Katniss sees in the highlight reel and can easily recognize in adult Haymitch is all an act. the character we thought we knew is not present here, sacrificed to make yet another point about propaganda, and that’s a crying shame. and his deterioration in the final chapters is so underwhelming (as are the death scenes 🫣) - I've read that same story countless times but told better by people who love the character as is and weren't on a time crunch for a movie deal, I guess.

Sunrise!Haymitch skews shockingly immature and moralistic and hates the idea of being a sarcastic, selfish “rascal." but since when are we calling surviving and fighting to get home in an unthinkable situation selfish? that’s now assumed in Sunrise’s logic, where instead having a ginormous alliance against the Careers with no exit plan (big ‘WHAT IF ALL THE TRIBUTES BANDED TOGETHER AND DIDN’T FIGHT?’ energy) is much smarter and nobler than going it alone and heading in one direction to get to the edge for no reason other than bc nobody had tried it before and trilogy!Haymitch, we know, is an out-of-box thinker & strategist. I know he & Ambert were operating under the notion that they were going to lose no matter what and had their own plans (which. hmm) but it was just so oddly accepted by the Newcomers, too, who had no such threat from Snow. they were so willing to be selfless martyrs and band together when they all know at the end of the day there can only be one survivor - which was heartening in a way, sure, but it almost seemed trite? and again, needlessly moralistic in an established world like Panem, where these things happen every year...? not even self-righteous (Katniss' words but with Haymitch's backing!) Peeta 'not a piece in their games' Mellark thought so narrowly. Idk. I might have to mull that one over more. but anyway, then Haymitch trying to rescue Maysilee is turned into a mini redemption arc in post, when all it was in the first place was a glimpse into his protective & caring nature underneath all the bravado, which was surely part of Katniss’ deepening understanding of him. but Sunrise wasn’t interested in exploring that, either, or even honoring it. okay

and I can’t get over how SC had to kind of retcon the final pages of Mockingjay to fit Haymitch’s epilogue into it, which didn’t help how it already rang so hollow for me, I hate to say. it’s not even done well, containing the most rushed, wrap-up-everything-before-the-deadline writing I’ve ever seen from SC (and it STILL doesn’t read like Haymitch’s voice to me :/). some things can just be; they don’t need some big, loaded, tragic explanation. Haymitch can glibly call Katniss ‘sweetheart’ once, bc she’s been sullen & hostile to him and he is in fact sarcastic (the horror!), only for it to go on to become an actual term of endearment by the end - like, that’s lovely in and of itself. why weigh it down further? who asked for that? I know I didn’t. 

most insignificantly & pettily of all: geese do mate for life - as in monogamously, meaning they stay together until one of them dies. then, they mourn and find another mate. just putting that out there, lmao

*how tf was Haymitch able to kiss his token and set up a bomb and throw it over the edge and put his token back when we know he was convulsing from shock by the end? to where Silka was able to start staunching her wound as she waited for him to die? if him going into shock was taken from footage anytime after, the arena would've been quaking/on fire around him?? Idk fam. it just feels off.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

📚inch resting bits from the march twst manga updates📚 (octa, savana, & 4koma!)

***Manga spoilers below the cut (with an emphasis on the Episode of Octavinelle, since that's my favorite dorm!)***

The 4koma manga has dropped! Again, it centers around the daily lives of the NRC boys and is shown in a 4 panel gag comic format.

In the illustration above, we see the main cast with Grim's beloved tuna cans~

This month has comics about Ace going to a supplementary lesson (to learn how to manipulate brooms to do his chores) and Leona attending his art class. The comic depicts Leona, Idia, and Rook in the same art class though we're not sure if this is true in-game yet. However, the comics do carry over the continuity of Ace and Deuce being in Trein's class so maybe the art class thing is also true of Leona?

From the Episode of Savanaclaw manga: I KNOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN AWE OF DIASOMANI'S PRESENCE BUT ALL I'M THINKING IS THAT DIASOMNIA HAS A MOB STUDENT WITH A BOWL CUT 😭

I'm also really fixated on how this mangaka draws her lashes and hair, they're always bangers every time 💗

Ruggie "bleh" face... Also???? That full page of him using his UM... and the visualization of the wildebeests racing with him like the people in the crowd, very Lion King.

I like that the manga really shows us more emotional and intense moments the game cannot depict due to its limited assets. Here, we see the aftermath of Ruggie using his UM on the crowd. Even with Azul's magic-enhancement potion, Ruggie has taken a great physical toll from spellcasting. Falling to his knees, panting... This will make it hurt more when Leona almost poofs him to sand later 😭

These panels remind me of like. Scar looking on from up high while the hyenas do his bidding. Ruggie's expression... it's so full of a desperate kind of hope has he gazes up at his "king".

From the Episode of Octavinelle, we get to see Leona post-OB and recovering in the infirmary. Side note, I really love how the mangaka adds these cute little faces to let us know who is speaking in certain text bubbles. The little faces make some of the cutest expressions; just look at that cheeky chibi Leona head!

Here, Ruggie is telling everyone about rumors that Azul and the twins purposefully prevent their clients from fulfilling their end of the contract so they can reap the benefits. I like how the scene shown is a boat tipping over (with the twins implied to have flipped it). Nice callback to the boat scene in The Little Mermaid!

We have another The Little Mermaid reference here, where Floyd shares his UM with the gang?? The hypothetical man here reminds me of Prince Eric, especially in that white shirt and appearing as though he is drowning.

Guys... Azul's been taking modeling lessons from Vil-- I really like these more quiet and contemplative moments of Azul; plenty of those are featured this month.

asdbhlfdbaifyoaiygoeia I WILL NOW ALWAYS ASSOCIATE AZUL THINKING HARD WITH SITTING IN THAT CHAIR... There's so many shots of him seated here...

Yuuta continues to be my favorite manga!Yuu so far by diligently tidying up Leona's messy ass room for him... asfvkyadvfialf Grim looks so goofy helping out, that tower of clothes is half his size...

FLOYD'S FACE IS SO siLLy HERE TOO (this is the scene when Ruggie recalls seeing his eel form during a P.E. class where they swam). The mangaka really decided to summon his gremlin energy here...

Aaaaah, I love this shot; it sort of parallels Azul and Leona... It also makes me realize the difference between how Leona's hair is in Octavinelle vs Savanaclaw (due to the different mangaka). In Octavinelle, his hair is usually a solid black with white highlights but in Savanaclaw there tends to be a subtle gradient/screen tone on Leona's hair.

Anyway, twins Twins TWINS

GOOD WAY TO CLOSE OUT THE OCTA CHAPTER, EXCELLENT WAY TO CLOSE OFF THE OCTA CHAPTER IN FACT 🫶 Can you tell I love the Tweel parts/j

[eepamaawo]

So the new card has got me thinking about how Sylus' branch will end, in the distant future...

! Spoilers for Sylus' limited myth below the cut, as well as a long late night ramble

Based on what we know of Sylus' story and lore so far, I think it could be really interesting to have both endings possible in his branch.

I haven't played many otome games aside from L&D so correct me if I'm wrong - alongside good endings, writers of this genre often explore bad endings where things really don't work out, sometimes even resulting in major character death.

The curse that MC puts on him at the end of the myth goes: "Only I can ... Grant you a true death". Which struck me as super ominous when I read it! In Long Awaited Revelry, there are a ton of callbacks to the myth too, but the standout line for me is when Sylus says: "You do owe me a curtain call grander than death itself."

What if Sylus and MC are destined yet again to be archnemeses in this current timeline, to confront a fate which will only be satisfied when one of them dies?

Based on this, the good ending will be the one where they manage to defy fate and ensure that they both live in the same timeline. For the bad ending/s... Perhaps either Sylus kills her, with the drago's curse; or she kills him, fulfilling the curse she cast all those eons ago. Wouldn't it be super cool if there were major story choices on the way there which determine which one you get!!

What spurred this post in the first place, though, is actually a casual line of dialogue in the kindled preview:

WHY DOES THIS MAN KEEP GIVING US TIPS ON HOW TO ASSASSINATE HIM. I can't pull up the receipts right now but I swear this is a reoccurring thing. Okay, okay, in all likelihood it's probably an innocent moment of banter between them, but I'm still side-eying it. I have a strong gut feeling that Sylus' writers are trying to be sneaky here and can't wait to turn the angst in his story up to 11.

[biowaredisasterbisexual]

Sharing Sundays - June 15th

First, a happy Father’s Day to those who are celebrating it (and a special shoutout to wonderful father @mageofquandrix)!

It’s SHARING SUNDAY, all! We’ve got some great fics and lovely art this week!! Many thanks and kudos to the folks who shared with us this week, you all are amazing.

- From @thatgaymerguyb, we have Stolen Archive, a Davrook fic within the universe of A Life After. From the summary: “Rook and Davrin meet with the Inquisitor to begin seeking a way to stop the coming threat Solas and the Spirits warned them against when the Veil Jumper Archive is attacked by a returning threat and the Nadas Dirthalen is stolen. Rook, Bellara and Davrin give chase and set out to get it back.”

- @canvoid has made some absolutely wonderful digital art of all their Rooks! A Rook for every occasion, and some callbacks to our beloved companions and heroes of past games!

- A really interesting fic from @broodwolf, featuring Ghilan’nain and Dalish Warden Liall Talas. From the author: “a brief exploration of liall talas (a non-canon dalish warden) in rook's position... and why it wouldn't work! liall has been fascinated by the blight ever since she first became a warden, and would be inclined to follow ghilan'nain to sate her own deep curiosities💖💖💖”

- And, since I’m here, I’ll put my money where my mouth is. Go checkout the prologue to The Ventus Job, a post-game Neverook fic continuing Neve and Disaster Rook’s story where we left off at the end of Getting Into Trouble, if you’re so inclined.

Note: rated E for future smut (none yet), no archive warnings

[maritteknewtheenemy]

genuinely YEAH the epigraphs at the beginning made know that immediately, this was gonna be her worst one yet.

the day SOTR was announced, i was absolutely miserable. i've been saying for ages that we didn't need a haymitch book. that's not just because i consider myself his biggest fan, but BECAUSE we already had everything we needed to know in a way that would give us light and understanding to a character who prior, seemed like a drunken miserable ass.

but no, he gets revealed as extremely intelligent and 10 steps ahead of the game. and they punish him for it. he tells katniss that it was the forcefield stunt in which killed his family within mockingjay, and so many people have been arguing with me about "falling for propaganda" or "we didn't have the whole story!" OG trilogy haymitch had his story laid out for us perfectly.

i've been saying this very thing in particular, but sunrise on the reaping could've been the story where a young, intelligent and cunning teenager utilizes the things around him in order to survive, armed with snark and wit to do it. i would've had his relationship with his girlfriend be a motivation, but it would've been subtle. haymitch would think about the beauty of the arena, and THEN go "i hope i get back to my girl." with his family, they'd be at the forefront of his mind.

they are his biggest supporters. he is their breadwinner. one of his friends could be taking care of his mother and brother, sure! but haymitch would agonize over not being there to protect them, not being their man in the house to provide. sunrise could've so deeply been about family, right up until he loses them in this deep horrible way. his girl would be a thought of relief in his time of stress; not constantly in mention, but spoke of when it matters to him. his interaction with snow would've been tense and chilling, and the loss of his loved ones would have near put him in the ground, WERE I SUZANNE COLLINS. that boy would've been haunted by shadows on the wall, scared of the reaper for the rest of the people he cares about.

he wouldn't drink until he gets deep in mentoring, but a young, fresh out of the arena haymitch would be in so much pain, both physically and psychologically. he'd wake up screaming for his family, he'd struggle to form coherent sentences, he'd dissociate. he would try so hard to avoid reminders of how he (a guilt-plagued young man,) had failed to do the one thing he had the entire time; protect. and his saviour complex would be made then.

all this to say (and i'm totally Not having to develop all of this in my own work on him anyway,) SOTR could've been impactful without in your face callbacks and weakly mentioned politics. it could've been the BEST book if done right, and i don't understand how people consider it to be such now.

Omg hi! Yours is one of my favourite blogs on here, this feels like a celebrity sighting.

I agree we didn't need a Haymitch book but I can't pretend I wasn't excited when his book was announced. I love Haymitch and knowing that SC has historically done well with his character I was looking forward to it. Needless to say I was thoroughly underwhelmed.

You get it. Haymitch is supposed to be snarky and sarcastic and SMART, instead sotr gave us a character who is so glaringly unintelligent that it's hard to believe he's supposedly the same Haymitch we see in canon, because I refuse to believe a kid this dumb who's girlfriend is even dumber and has a knack for pissing off the cops + government would make it to adulthood. I'll die on the hill that Haymitch as we see him in sotr on the reaping could be a GREAT character if we weren't supposed to pretend this is Haymitch Abernathy from the hunger games. If she'd named this character Carl and wrote the rest of the story the same way I'd probably defend him a bit more. If she'd made Carl die suddenly with Ampert after his failed attempt to blow up the arena and either left the book there or suddenly switched to a different POV I might actually think Carl was tragic and the story kind of silly but ultimately a lot stronger than sotr. Carl would be my little blorbo. Him and his dumb as rocks girlfriend would serve as a cautionary tale. Alas, I'm supposed to pretend that Carl is Haymitch and so the whole story falls completely apart because I spent the whole time thinking He Would Not Fucking Say That.

Once we got past the reaping I genuinely wondered why SC even BOTHERED to include Sid and Ma as characters. Supposedly losing them was one of Haymitch's formative events, something he struggles to even mentions years after their deaths, but to be honest I forgot about them most of the time. And you're telling me I'm supposed to believe Haymitch loved Sid as much as Katniss loved Prim? I dont think so. And don't even get me started on how dirty SC did Ma. Needless to say I wasn't convinced Haymitch even LIKED his family, let alone that they were his motivation to get home, which is so unfortunate because the potential was there. (Also, while I liked Haymitch's bootlegging job I think it's unfair to say he's the main breadwinner. He helps out, sure, but Willamae doesn't scrub miners overalls on a washboard all day to not be given the credit she deserved. She kept them from starving after her husband died and before Haymitch started bootlegging and I hate the way I've seen the fandom pretending like her labour did nothing for the family.) In any case, if I actually was supposed to believe that Carl Haymitch cared about his family at all, he should have been planning to die the second Snow made his veiled threat about them and Lenore Dove living a 'long and happy life' without him. But maybe I'm just a cynic.

I wholeheartedly agree we should have seen more of his grief + trauma + descent into alcoholism. In my opinion, the games themselves should have played a much smaller part in the story, especially because we already knew the broad strokes and because we already knew Haymitch would win. Hunger Games was suspenseful because we didn't know if both Katniss and Peeta would make it out alive. TBOSAS games had an element of suspense because there was no guarantee Lucy Grey would win, especially because Snow was an outside narrator. Haymitch's games were supposed to be suspensful because...he had a plan we knew would fail? Idk, i was just bored. That's not what I was there for, I was there for the aftermath that we didn't really get. Honestly, SC should have let you ghostwrite it, you would have definitely done a better job. We should have at least seen his victory tour, and I think it would have been more impactful to have the last scene be the first time he gets drunk. Like, the beginning of rock bottom. It would have staued with people more. And no epilogue at all. (Dear GOD don't get me started on the epilogue). the epilogue was so unnecessary. We know what happened to Haymitch. We saw him in the original trilogy (and I refuse to believe everything he ever did was because his dead fairy princess girlfriend's ghost told him too. Maybe that would be true of Carl, but not Haymitch).

Finally, the callbacks. for fucks sake i hated the callbacks, which is very uncharacteristic of me. Usually I love parallels and the occasional callback, but the sheer NUMBER in this book were overwhelming. Did SC want nothing in this book to be new AT ALL? Call me crazy but I don't think every scene in the original trilogy needed a deeper meaning. I think Haymitch calling Katniss sweetheart to mock her and having it evolve into a sort of endearment was a lot more impactful and showed their relationship growth better than having it have been genuine the whole time because Katniss reminded him of a dead girl. Lucy Grey did not NEED to make a cameo, she haunted the narrative well enough given everyone remembered twelve had another victor but no one knew who she was. And we all know how I feel about Lenore Dove- I shan't get into that again.

Anyway, you're exactly right. The book had potential, and Haymitch's story could have been the best of thg books if SC put any amount of thought or care into it and it's unfortunate that she did not. I still think that she should have written Wiress' games instead, for a whole host of reasons I already detailed on another post. But yeah, sotr was such a missed opportunity and i'll never not be mad about it.

[just-a-carrot]

Day 13.

Do you have any favorite lines from the game?

I had to really think about this for a while as it's quite hard to remember random individual lines despite having written them LOL However, after skimming through some of the files to get my head thinking about it, I think one of my favorite written parts is this conversation:

"Ah, yes, this is nice, isn’t it? Just the two of us. Enjoying a moment. It has been so long since we’ve been this close.'" "O-Orlam..." Genzou looks fifty shades of uncomfortable, and I can see the glimmer of sweat along his hairline. "You know, I’ve been thinking about you a lot since my arrival here. How I would welcome you. What you’d think about my accomplishments..." Genzou forces a somewhat beleaguered smile. "Accomplishments? What, we congratulating people for having stuff fall into their laps now?" "As contentious, as always. Just because you’ve failed in your endeavors doesn’t mean you need to devalue mine." "What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I haven’t failed anything." "Haven’t you?" Orlam pulls him in close, grin so wide he looks about ready to devour him whole. "I suppose denial would be nothing new for you." Genzou snorts. "At least I don’t take advantage of others when they’re at their weakest." "No, you’re just an asshole all the time, aren’t you?" Orlam lowers his eyes. "And you know it, too. Know the pain you cause people. And that he deserves better than you." Genzou’s jaw goes taut. He mutters something under his breath and tries to pull away, but Orlam doesn’t let his hand go, instead taking advantage of the small height he has on him to dip him backwards. "And yet you still can’t let him go, can you. Just a stupid, sad little puppy groveling for scraps..."

I really love how I somehow got so much history, hints, multiple dynamics between different chars, and kinda the inner core root of a lot of their issues in just so few lines. Ahhh... I wish I could write like this always LOL The ball scene in general I really like how it turned out, there's a ton of lines I really like from it, and soooooo many little hints and callbacks.

I also love basically all of Genzou's silly one-liners, with some of my favorites being:

"H-… holy peehole of Poseidon…" "Has it always smelled like the back of my dad’s old station wagon? Because golly fuckaree does that smell like pee." "And god damn am I not about to go through this whole Halloween special of H.R. Fucknstuf myself." "Rabbits wearing human suits. That’s like… the opposite of a furry." "After having experienced it, I can now say that getting thrown o’re your shoulder like a Continental Soldier is not the romantic fantasy I’d always envisaged."

[collegetennisoriginstory]

Allie!!! You have outdone yourself with this update once more (as per usual <3)! This update was beefy and there were so many cute scenes!! I've been playing and replaying the game on and off for the past few days because it's just so gosh darn cute!!! Spoilers for some scenes below, so reader beware! I especially really enjoyed the fall festival with the Haynes squad. As much as I love tension and drama, I think I also just really enjoy scenes where the characters get to goof off and have fun together; it's just so wholesome and sweet! I also have to shout-out the little running/impromptu swim date with Rayyan. When I tell you that scene got me kicking my feet and giggling like a teenager with a crush again!!! The dialogue option where MC only acquiesces because it's Rayyan asking is especially endearing. It feels like a nice callback to that one off-hand comment Felix makes if MC wins the unofficial Devil's Dozen with Rayyan, about how they can't believe Rayyan would be willing to participate at all, let alone actually win. I like the theme being set up that MC and Rayyan push each other to do things they wouldn't otherwise do without the other person encouraging/egging them on!

Also speaking of Felix, I was not expecting to like them so much, and yet here we are!! My MC (her name's Rosa!) has been pretty neutral about Felix thus far - she's nice to them bcs she's nice to everyone, but she's a bit wary around them bcs she and Tobin are close, plus the rest of the team doesn't seem to like them very much and she's pretty easily persuaded. I really only tried the Felix doubles route out of curiosity (I really can't see Rosa making this decision herself without divine intervention on my part) and now I'm a little upset because it's actually kind of wholesome?? The free coffee and world-weary quips got to me, I won't lie. I also think these two honestly make for a rather comical sight as partners. Picture Batman and Elle Woods playing tennis and hanging out together - that's essentially the vibe I'm getting from Felix and Rosa. They're getting along, but everyone is baffled. I can't help but wonder how Felix is feeling about this whole thing. This whole experience has solidified the idea in Rosa's head that Felix is friend-shaped, so I hope they're ready to deal with the consequences of their actions! You have unintentionally acquired a friend now Felix - and she will ask if she can paint your nails, try to foist off her baking experiments onto you ("...You do remember that I work at a café, right?" "Okay, but does your café sell cookies with chili paste in it? Didn't think so! Hey, don't give me that look, they're good, I swear!!"), and will insist on chatting for like at least 10 minutes everytime she visits the café unless you tell her you're busy. Your fate is sealed now, frowny-man (gender neutral)!!! 😠

Excuse me this comment gave me life!!!

Obviously a lot of spoilers so please look away guys, but THIS MADE ME SQUEAL AND GIGGLE SO MANY TIMES especially imagining your MC and Felix getting along. The cafe baking and the little "I am determined to chat at you every time we bump into each other" is truly the most adorable headcanon ever. As is your MC slowly warming to Felix.

I'm also soo glad you liked the little icy dip scene, I've been meaning to write it ever since they went on that run together and it was raised as a possibility...

Sending ya lots of love, thank you for the lovely lovely ask!

[psychiccent]

The Elephant in The Room: Frederica

I almost made this as a post for Shinkane week but wanted to keep the attention primarily on my fav Psycho couple. The Frederica/Kogami situation might be worrisome for some shippers, but I absolutely ADORE watching the interactions play out between these two characters. When analyzing, we can spot key differences in how both relationships are handled/developed by our PP Overlords.

It is safe to say that Frederica harbors an attraction for Ko... THAT aspect of the story, the writers have made no secret of. Poor Tenzing had to witness Frede pull out the big guns in their initial meeting, noting the arch of Frede's back/chest as she bent forward to interact with Ko. There is even a scene in the Sinners novelization wherein Frederica sets the mood for SOMETHING to happen between them using body language and a suggestive tone. During this scene, we learn something vital about the current dynamic that exists between these two: The attraction felt here is running on a one-way street, with no reciprocation in sight from Ko. What DOES Kogami end up doing in this situation? An obviously attractive woman, neutral in standing for now, is exhibiting a keen interest in getting closer to you. It's an easy way for the writers to establish the potential for chemistry and yet... Deciding that he doesn't know WHAT to make of all that Frederica is silently offering, Ko settles for simply ignoring the obvious and the scene ends shortly after. I believe this serves as another callback to Ko not being a casual fling type of guy. These interactions (and many others) help reinforce the idea that Kogami is not a man easily swayed by traditional beauty standards, despite the man's knack for letting his instincts reign supreme in most situations.

That scene was a bit of a missed opportunity, don't you think? There is another moment wherein Ko introduces Frede as someone from his home country, and we have another male gaze in the room posed to appreciate the obvious appeal that Frede brings to the table. In this scene, writers could have taken it a tiny step further (if this was truly their intent to establish SOMETHING here) and have the merc outright assume that Frede was Ko's woman. But no such conclusions were drawn, no implications of Ko enjoying his newfound company or missing home...nada. The same can't be said for Akane and Ko, whom have enemies nicknaming Akane 'JULIET' of all things, Shion sounding the alarm anytime those two are together, or the fact that Gino's reactions to their (Akane and Ko's) ACTIONS speaks volumes.

Kogami strikes me as a man with a desire for both understanding AND intimacy when it comes to potential partners, and the life Ko has led so far has not been ideal for cultivating that kind of love/connection. We see, through Ko and Frede's interactions that they function well as a unit/team but are still learning about one another. Whatever level of intimacy/understanding that Ko needs to share with his potential love interest is (whoever that may be *COUGHAKANECOUGH*), Frede is a far cry from being able to qualify in that particular category. Frede's dynamic with Kogami is, in my opinion, what a proper Inspector/Enforcer relationship SHOULD have been like between Ko and Akane (with less emphasis on the obvious attraction undertones, of course) and when looking at these two relationships from that perspective, the parallels we can observe are very telling.

I also can't help but mention that in supplementary PP content (I believe it was a game?) , it is stated that Ko is not a fan of having people/girls hanging off of, or otherwise pining over him... they even joke and say that it's the other way around and Akane is shocked to discover this "side" of Ko. I will take that with a grain of salt, but it certainly checks out with what we have seen so far, don't ya think? Is it impossible for Kogami and Frederica to wind up together? of course not, anything can happen! But color me surprised if that is the direction the writers decide to take.

[sapphicscholar]

Hacks Episode 3x09 Thoughts

Okay, so back during S2, I wrote up my thoughts about each pair of Hacks episodes as they dropped – partially for sharing but largely as an archive for myself of my own thoughts/feelings to revisit when I watched the episodes later to see how they held up, how it compared to watch them serially vs. as a whole season, etc. Anyway, I was incredibly stressed out and busy for much of this season (after over a year of that being the key set of words to describe my life), but I wanted to throw out my thoughts about the finale before they grow too stale! And maybe I’ll come back and revisit the prior episodes in posts later when I have the time (hopefully in just a couple short weeks!) to enjoy them properly

As always, disjointed bulleted lists are the name of the game, going from the big picture to the detailed:

Overall, this felt like a very solid episode in the vein of season 1 in many ways! It brought us back to the interpersonal as the primary ground of conflict after many episodes (here and in S2) of the new hour, the special, and the Late Night host gig quest being our main plot drivers (which, at many times, made for weaker storytelling for reasons that exceed the scope of this post!). In particular, I felt like this episode hit its stride around the halfway point, and never really faltered after that in impressive ways!

That being said, I had two somewhat significant critiques of the finale (both of which reflect larger trends about strands of the show that continue to leave me a little disappointed)

We should have seen Marcus' conversation with Deborah about the new job. Period. I'll get into what could have been cut in my second critique, but even if there weren't weak spots in the episode, I still would have been deeply disappointed in the show for this oversight, especially since they apparently filmed it. Although Hacks is clearly a show with a leading duo, it once had a core ensemble, but S2 saw them moved more and more to B-plots and bit roles, and now S3 has seen many of the characters we know and love eliminated almost entirely--a point that's particularly galling given that it's almost entirely characters of color (many of them canonically queer) who have been cut in favor of new white characters. Moreover, this scene would have been SO IMPORTANT - I could have seen it going 2 ways: a) Marcus quits after the convo where Deborah tells Ava she's willing to lose her, and Deborah has a reaction that is so utterly outsized because it's the terror of losing the person she's had with her the longest now compounded with the reality setting in that she's also driven away the woman who gave her new life when she most needed it; or b) Marcus shows up to quit, and Deborah immediately launches into a rant about Ava's leaving, which puts Marcus in the awkward spot of adding to that at a pivotal moment in the career of the woman he's spent much of his adult life with or giving up something he needs to do for himself; it could have been a lovely callback to S1 when he shows up with his whole speech prepared but then accepts the promotion without ever telling Deborah how he feels - only this time Marcus would have changed so much, and he'd have the opportunity to showcase that growth by insisting that he needs to do this for him. So many lost opportunities...

re what could have been cut because imo it did NOT work: Kathy Vance's return. Now, I love Hacks in large part because it insists on the complexity of its characters. No one is purely the victim or the hero of the story, and Deborah's "click" moment showcased that better than anything. AND YET the writing here did not work. Back in the Christmas ep, I messaged a friend saying I was glad that they brought Kathy back but seemed not to ask us to side with her - after all, she comes crashing back into Deborah's life, doesn't take ownership over her actions and in fact insists she was in the right because it only happened a few times, because Deborah wasn't sleeping with him (very "you weren't playing with it, so it's mine now" little sister energy that is deeply unappealing in a grown ass adult), and because they were the "better couple" which is, I'm sorry, NEVER the fucking thing to tell someone whose marriage and life you destroyed. I joked then that I'd take back my compliments if her role in the finale suggested that actually we should be on Kathy's side here. And lo and behold... What's a real bummer is that there were ways to do this better! Because you can have sympathy for an imperfect character--this show is a testament to that fact!--but not like this. We as an audience have no reason to side with Kathy when she insists that Deborah will be worse than ever and berates her for cutting their weekend short. Instead, we see a woman with a large sense of entitlement she's done nothing to earn and directorial choices that don't make it a smooth transition. But what could have been lovely is, for instance, treating the Christmas and finale reunions as these deflationary moments of anticipation and disappointment because they are, after this many decades, essentially strangers to one another. Had we seen two women who longed for the deep affective ties of their childhood relationship only to be confronted with the cold hard fact of their estrangement from one anther, it would have been so much more powerful. And here you could ACTUALLY garner sympathy (some) for Kathy by having it be this moment of "I lost my sister" partially through her own actions "to Late Night once, and now, right when I have a chance to try to build something with her again, I feel like I'm going to lose her again before I can even really try to do right by her this go around." THAT could have worked. This was just too much time on something that did almost nothing in the grand scheme of the plot (because we didn't have the emotional connection to feel it as another compounding loss for Deborah in an episode where Ava's "and you're going to die alone" could have landed with even more force)

Okay so it turns out this is getting hella fucking long, so some shorter praise and giddy feelings things:

I LOVE how often Ava got to say the things we've all been squeeing about for years during this episode - especially that the material is good because of their relationship, not the other way around; their dynamic is not incidental to the work, and that's so important to me personally.

I had guessed that Ava would be offered head writer and quit her current job, only to have it taken away because Deborah was too scared to rock the boat, but I did NOT see the end coming! In fact, I kind of thought Ava might end up suing Deborah for intellectual property theft (using material Ava wrote outside of her contractual appointment for the new show because, surprise surprise, the writers who sucked when she was a guest still suck now compared to Ava!) In fact, I sort of thought that end scene might end up being a return to the car scene, and was relishing the thought of Ava's mimicking Deb's "It'll be fun, honey." But the blackmail as a form of love/devotion was soooo much better. Truly chef's kiss.

Also the way this rewrote the S2 finale even as the underlying message remained the same is so special to me - I'll stay with you even when it's bad for me (sacrificing my career -> sacrificing my morals) because it's good for you and more importantly it's good for us and the work. JPL know how to write a finale, and I'd give up a kidney to have that same energy be there throughout a whole season again (not that the eps are bad, but they lack some of the sharpness in writing and emotional depth that JPL do so well with finales and also often with the first couple eps of a season too)

Lastly JPL going on the record that Deborah was turned on by that final scene + Ava's "I would, wouldn't you?" and "Let's begin" - truly some of the hottest TV. We're so back babyyy. No more half naked superheroes with all the eroticism of a desk chair. Give me messy women determined to fling themselves into the air because they know the thrill is worth everything good and safe they're leaving behind, even if they hit the ground with no parachute!

I have many, many thoughts about S3 and what's to come, but I'll save them for another post because phewww this got long as fuck

[mumms-the-word]

Yet another Veilguard update with the usual good, the bad, the ugly, and the me freaking out about minor references and callbacks haha

This one is very long sorry

So since the last update I have done as much side content as possible before heading to the Hossberg Wetlands and later Weisshaupt (which I just completed last night) which included, briefly, unlocking all of the solas regrets murals

And uh WOW was that whole deep dive a doozy. I definitely should have spaced out the murals over time rather than movie-marathoned them back to back. But the things I learned about Solas…it’s insanity

In a good way

In a really horrifying way

I loved that our theories about Solas being a spirit of Wisdom first were confirmed, and I lost my mind over the fact that the first elves were spirits who gained physical bodies by taking Titan blood (aka lyrium). And the fact that Solas CREATED THE BLIGHT by essentially making the Titans Tranquil?? And that’s why Dwarves don’t dream????

Losing my mind. Solas what have you DONE.

I still ahev to process it all haha but I do have a few thoughts

So far, I wish there was more engagement with these elements and the Chant of Light. The companions react and say that these reveals basically dismantle Andrastianism but the Chant has several allegorical parallels to what, apparently, really happened. The Maker’s first children were spirits, and all that…so I kind of wish the Chantry had a bigger presence in the game with more reactivity

But that’s a post for another day. For now, I reloaded back to only 3 murals unlocked so the team only knows the story up to Solas creating the Veil. I’ll rewatch the others later.

I got worried about being locked out of stuff so I went ahead and did as much side content as I could with a couple of exceptions. Turns out, I probably didn’t need to do that and it would have made more sense narratively if I hadn’t. More on that in a minute

The Siege of Weisshaupt mission was SO GOOD!! Like…the main missions are really where this game shines, I think. I have gripes with some of the companion conversations, but in the actual story missions, the action, the intensity, all of it is so good. And I thought Ghilan’nain turning her archdemon into a many-headed hydra creature was *chefs kiss* so cool. I love fighting big/unique stuff like that!

All that said the follow up scene with the team at the table leaves…a lot to be desired

Listen, DA games pride themselves on bringing together a team of companions that players adore and fall in love with. Naturally we enjoy helping out our companions because we like them. We don’t have to be told to help them because we just generally do that…and if we don’t then, rip, suffer the consequences

So I got a bit annoyed when the scene suddenly turned to a very overt “fix our problems” narrative

I don’t know, that feels so…forced to me. Varric literally tells me I have to solve everyone’s problems. Which is like…I was going to! Because they’re my friends! But being straight up told like “hey you have to solve everyone’s problems and stop their distractions or this team isn’t going to function” is like…I’m sorry are we adults or aren’t we? Why am I being told to babysit the team? Can you guys not pursue these distractions on your own rather than wait for me to give you permission? Did we all forget that two gods are out there rampaging? That they’re strong enough to destroy a fortress that stood against the blight and various conflicts for over 900 years? That they haven’t stopped and show no signs of stopping anytime soon?

But no, by all means, tell me in very obvious terms that my job is now to reconcile all your differences before I face the gods again. That doesn’t feel very handed at all.

Let me be clear. I love to help my companion. I love the idea that you build a team that works well because you have shaped them via your leadership skills. I love the idea that your team works well because you have invested in them. That’s really the heart of any DA game—gather your team, earn their loyalty, and see how well the friends you’ve made along the way assist you in the big battles to come.

But…that scene around the kitchen table could have been so much better, so much more nuanced, and far less “Solve their problems.”

To me, that scene should have been everyone fighting, calling out everyone’s distractions and mistakes, and essentially devolving into outright arguments over the table until Rook yells at everyone to shut up. Everyone is mad, everyone is upset. And then maybe the companions are like “sorry Rook, listen, I have a lot on my mind. I’m still going to help with the Big Problem but I’m also going to pursue this Other Thing whether you like it or not.” No suggestion that it’s now your problem to solve, but a heavy hint that it might get done more quickly if you help (which also gives you room to be an ass and not help). In this scenario, everyone ends up being very disgruntled with you, but you still have your hint that you need to pursue companion questlines if you want to see their cool abilities or special items or get them to be a Hero of the Veilguard or whatever…but that’s just my opinion

Basically I wanted subtly and tension. So much more tension.

What we got instead was a couple of annoyed comments and then Emmrich being like “oh dear we’re all distracted by the things that bother us” and everyone offering up distractions that, yes, need to be resolved…but it’s very easy to be like “hey bud the Hand of Glory and the Nadas Dirthalen can wait until the gods aren’t threatening to destroy the world I think.”

It’s not the worst scene in the world, but it could have been reframed better. Either frame it as “Sorry Rook but none of these factions trust you enough to aid you in the fight, you have to prove yourself to them” (and loop in the companion questlines that way) or show your team literally unraveling because they can’t get along or agree with you—now you see the evidence of what you need to fix, and nobody has to outright tell you to “solve everyone’s distractions.” It’s just implied. Because you saw them fighting. A lot.

Like duh I knew I’d have to resolve everyone’s problems if I want them to like me or stick around! That’s just what I’ve come to expect from RPG games like this. It’s an expectation of the genre. But I don’t want to be told that’s my job now. If anything it triggers my contrarian nature and now I want to see what bad ending I get when I don’t listen to the game’s extremely heavy push for me to deal with everyone’s issues

I won’t, but I’m tempted

I just…wanted it to be better. I want see everyone bitching at each other until everyone leaves in a huff and Rook just sits at the table, head in their hands like “oh my god everyone hates me and they hate each other and we’re going to die if everyone can’t get their shit together”

Then maybe Varric sits down next to them and goes, “Hey kid, did I ever tell you about the time Hawke tried to convince a Rivaini pirate, a weird abomination, a Dalish blood mage, a stiff-necked captain of the guard, a broody elf who glowed in the dark, and a few other friends besides to all agree to fight as a team to stop a qunari invasion in Kirkwall? It worked, more or less. By the end of the night, everyone had worked together enough to end up with one dead Arishok and an entire city’s gratitude.”

Maybe Rook looks up and says, “And how’d they manage that little miracle? Without everyone trying to kill each other in the process.”

And maybe Varric smiles and shrugs. “They had their differences, trust me. Half the time you couldn’t put two of them in a room together without a fight breaking out. But they all believed in one thing. They believed in Hawke.”

Then maybe there’s a pause, as he lets Rook consider that for a moment, before he stands up and says, “It’s a good bedtime story, in any case. I’ll let you sleep on it.”

Sigh. It just would have been cool…

Now in all fairness the scene felt even clunkier because I had actively been doing side quests and helping out my friends so it was like…it felt weird to have this implication that I’m not already helping them. It makes me think I shouldn’t do any of their side quests until after the Siege of Weisshaupt but who knows

I keep pendulum swinging back and forth between moments of brilliance and moments that leave me baffled and wondering who made some of these narrative/writing calls. I don’t hate the game by any stretch of the imagination. Like I said the Siege of Weisshaupt was amazing! And I loved the callbacks to precious games! You should have seen me live reacting and screaming about codexes in the Weisshaupt library haha But it’s like whiplash when something that good is followed up by a scene that feels excessively more hamfisted in comparison.

Anyway I am very busy this weekend and dunno when I’ll get to write another update soooo if you’re following for more, hope to give you more updates in the near-ish future!

[gotham25052]

Dark Waters Part 5

As the social fabric of Gotham begins to fray and the Joker's intrusion into her life escalates, Anna struggles to maintain control. But is she threatened by the Joker or by something within herself?

Contents: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Overall fic warnings: Explicit violence and explicit sexual content.

Chapter warnings: 18+, violence, mild sexual content, brief swearing, heavy themes including contemplation of death

Author's note: Excited to share Part 5! There are a lot of callbacks to earlier chapters in this part, so if you are interested in reading but haven't gone through those yet, you might want to read parts 1-4 first to get the most out of it. The second half of Part 5 is a really special section of this whole story.

This week is fire and ice (not like Game of Thrones, just like literal fire and ice :) )

Dark Waters, Part 5

He could feel it, even from the first time he saw her. The wildness in her, her fierce loyalty, her absolute devotion, he could feel it in her body when he first held her to the wall, he could see it in her eyes. He knew that she relished her freedom in the same way he valued his - she would never accept being penned in. The only prison she would accept was the one she had built for herself. He would have to break her out of it.

All her best qualities were clouded by fear. But it was like seeing the sky on a stormy day, the clouds didn't faze him at all, and the brief glimpses of clear sky appeared even bluer in the grayness.

He ruled the city, but with those eyes, she seemed to be from beyond the city or from beyond this world. When he looked at her, he was lost in their cold blue depths, like the fire in his soul had a short reprieve from the constant heat. He wanted her, he wanted her to worship him, he wanted her to follow every command without question, he wanted to discover all the hidden details of her thoughts, her body. But it was taking so long to pull her out of her stupor that years of neglect had built around her, so hard to find the fire inside her. She was a challenge, but he liked a challenge.

He was busy directing his organization, destabilizing Gotham's institutions and swaying public opinion against the powers that be. This side project was a welcome distraction, a place to pour his overflowing energy and drive. The day to day of managing his growing enterprise was tedious and quite boring in its details. Just like war, he had days of frenzied activity followed by weeks of waiting.

He had been with many partners. Some pretended to suffer at his touch, imagining that was what he wanted as the Joker of Gotham, but he knew better. By the end he always called their bluff. This one, though - when he was near her, it was like touching a pool of still water and watching the ripples disturb the surface all the way to the edge. He knew she would make an excellent lover.

Annie tried to get back to her routine after her last encounter with the Joker. She filled her days with work, taking on extra hours, coming home only when she was completely exhausted. She was hoping that at least looking in the mirror would stop reminding her of their last outing together as she watched the dark dye fade away, but the passage of time didn't seem to help.

She avoided stopping on her commute to watch the waves break onto the rocky seawall. The first time she had tried to go back, she questioned whether it was the wind tossing her hair, or his hands running through it again. She left and had not returned. Being there only reminded her of him now.

But most of the time, she didn't feel at all. She had been able to shut herself off for years. The truth was, she was really just waiting for her clock to tick down when the Joker found her in the ballroom.

Her experiences with others throughout her life, especially men, had alternated between unpleasant and brutal. Keeping herself in isolation soothed her wounds and made her feel as if she was somehow fulfilling her role in life. But deep down, she knew she was really just waiting for it all to end. He had disturbed her peace when she had already given up on this world, and she felt anger boil up under her skin. The tranquility she had worked for seemed to be gone, pulled out from under her.

She guarded herself vigilantly, immediately throwing out any thoughts connected to the Joker. She resented the fact that he had found a place in her mind at all. She was used to exercising extreme self-control. Years of holding in her desire to escape from the Church before she was finally able to leave, and now deprivation and a life of solitude in Gotham - she had been able to hold herself in tight check for a decade.

The nights were what she most dreaded. No matter how tired she was when she went to sleep, she would wake up, breathless and alert, feeling the strange rhythm of his voice in her ear. Was it fear that tortured her? She told herself it was, and blotted out her memory of those nights once morning came. She was very good at dividing herself into parts.

But now here she was washing the tubs that had held the meats and cheeses for the restaurant in Upper Gotham, and the mundane task took just enough of her attention that she forgot to watch her thoughts. Her mind turned in the direction she was constantly avoiding.

She remembered seeing his disheveled hair and calculating face in the front seat of the car. He was so self-assured, avoiding every snare in the streets of Gotham. She felt the strength of his arms when he held her, effortlessly pushing her through the hallways of the news studio; she recalled how his breath flowed over her ear when he dragged his fingers along her neck, slowly following the line of the necklace, his look of absolute concentration in the mirror…

"Annie, we're trying to do dishes here," a voice broke into her daydream. She shook her head as if it would dislodge the memories and focused on the work with twice the energy, pushing all the intrusive thoughts out of her mind.

She finally took off her apron, hanging it in the usual spot. She left the restaurant to catch the evening bus back to Lower Gotham. She stared straight ahead during the ride, feeling the anger spark under her skin, upset that she had let her thoughts wander so freely at work. The bus stopped, and she headed off to transit to the other line that would take her the rest of the way home.

She was looking at the ground, trying to get to the next bus as quickly as possible, when she heard it. The base of a thunderous boom in the distance that was so powerful it broke windows just down the street from her. She felt the shockwave run through her chest and echo in her head. She instinctively looked back, searching for the source of the explosion. A building in the distance was alight, engulfed in flames.

The pink radiance of the sunset mixed with the orange glow of the fire. A series of smaller explosions followed the first blast, each one closer than the last. She stood mesmerized by the dancing flames and the bizarre glow of the sky.

"Get out of the way, bitch, are you crazy?" shouted a man as a he pushed past her, nearly making her fall. Regaining her stance, she continued to study the slow march of disaster unfolding down the street, the sounds unmistakably drawing nearer. The wind whipped past her face, carrying the shouts of those who were caught up in the rush. She realized that the crowd was quickly closing in on her, the distance between people slowly disappearing so that she began to fear that the oncoming mass would crush her.

She started when she felt as if the rush of the wind running past her had been replaced by the touch of a familiar gloved hand, moving her hair away from the side of her face. She thought she was just imagining his presence again, until she heard his voice in her ear. "It is magnificent," he said softly, his tone strangely comforting to her in this chaotic situation.

She turned around and saw him back away from her, lifting up his arms to address the crowd. His words seemed oblivious to the strong wind and carried through the air as if it was still. "She's just enjoying the show," he announced, as if her fascination with the oncoming disaster was the most understandable reaction in the world. The crowd pressed back, away from the figure that stood before them with the recognizable white face and garish red mouth. She saw his jacket billowing out behind him, the waving orange silk lining flickering like the flames, almost glowing.

He grabbed her shoulders, forcing her out of the mass of people, and the fear of being trampled by the oncoming crowd temporarily overcame her caution. She followed his guiding arm to run with him, as those who had surrounded her before stared at them, shocked to see the strange woman arm in arm with the infamous Joker.

They came to a vehicle that looked like a hybrid of an armored truck and a van. He opened the side door to the back and had her inside and sitting down beside him before she could even consider breaking away. She surveyed her new surroundings as the vehicle sped off. The space inside had been hollowed out and benches were arranged around the perimeter. There were a few drop seats in the back, and that is where the Joker had sat down with her. Several men rested on the benches on either side, holding a motley array of firearms.

She gave him an alarmed sideways glance, and he saw the question in her eyes. "We're just a diversion, kitten," he said, pulling his shotgun out from under the seat and setting it on his lap. His words did not provide much assurance.

"What… how did you do this?" she asked, confused about how he could have orchestrated so many explosions on the border of Lower and Upper Gotham.

"Me? I didn't do anything. Chaos has its own way of spreading, once it starts. I just connected the people who wanted some fireworks with the explosives. The pieces came together on their own. Everyone hates Dent's checkpoints."

"It's more than just the checkpoints - there are buildings on fire," she explained, her curiosity overcoming her fear for a moment.

"Well, dynamite isn't very precise. Who knows, maybe some of these people had other axes to grind with the city." He gave her a sidelong glance and stared forward again, making it clear he was ending their brief conversation.

The evening was turning to night as they drove on. The Joker reclined, putting his feet up on the bench that lined the left side of the space. He seemed to be in good spirits, along with his men. He held the gun in place with one hand and lit up a cigarette with the other, joining several of them who were smoking. Though he always seemed to be at ease, she realized she had never truly seen him in his element until now. His occasional nervous ticks were gone, replaced by a fluid calm in the way he raised the cigarette to his lips and held the gun as if it belonged there, close to his body.

His jacket hung down luxuriously, the fabric draped over his reclined figure. She stared at the orange lining, bright against the dusty purple of his pants, shimmering with new color as the streetlights shined through the high windows of the van. She watched the darkness and light play on the glowing surface. She glanced up at his face, seeing his glittering eyes staring forward like an animal at home in the night. He seemed truly comfortable, absolutely contented, in this van speeding through the cold winter streets of Gotham, deciding which area of the city to strike.

He opened his mouth wide, leaning his head back and letting the smoke drift out slowly. Suddenly he turned toward her, a sly smile spreading over his face.

"So you like a man with a gun, kitten?" He said it as if he had discovered a hidden vulnerability in her.

He got up and walked to the front of the van, apparently talking to the driver. The men began to sit up, everyone on alert now, waiting for something. She looked around her nervously. He came back to sit down again, inspecting her face with pursed lips as if he was making a decision. He reached into his pocket and then grabbed the top of her head with his other hand. Her confusion caused her to stay still, and just as she was coming to herself enough to protest, she realized he was putting earplugs into her ears. "You wouldn't have done it right," he said as he finished.

"Now get on the floor," he instructed, as if he was asking her to do the simplest chore.

"The floor, now," he growled, the urgency becoming clearer as the van sped on more erratically. She pushed herself out of the seat and got on her hands and knees on the unsteady floor, not sure what to do. He rolled his eyes and sighed, putting his hand on her back and pushing her down so that she would lie flat. She simply let him guide her - this was his world. He pushed her prone form under the drop seats as calmly as if he was closing a drawer, and then quickly spun away to arrange his men. They were all rising from their seats and positioning their weapons.

From her limited vantagepoint, she could see rushing feet and heard muffled sounds as the van stopped short and the side door opened. She saw them disappear, heading outside, and then heard the gunshots loud and clear. She couldn't believe she was wearing earplugs - the sound of the shots was still deafening. Finally the sounds became more sporadic and then died out altogether. She waited in the eerie silence until the men returned, and she felt some relief as she recognized the Joker's shoes.

She moved herself forward to get a slightly better view of what was happening. She looked on in alarm as she saw the men pull a wounded police officer into the van. Her apprehension seemed well-founded as the Joker came closer to the man, but the officer had the opposite reaction to what she had thought - she saw relief wash over him when he looked up to see the Joker. She realized that this must be one of the officers who was working for him. The Joker quickly removed his gloves and coat and was looking carefully at the wound on the man's shoulder.

The driver had sped away from the scene but now he pulled into a secluded alley. The Joker grabbed a small box mounted on the sidewall of the van and opened it, revealing first aid supplies. She watched in disbelief as he took the cap off a syringe and pressed it into the man's uninjured arm. She could see the officer's body relax, and the Joker proceeded to stuff the wound with gauze he pulled from the box and held a dressing over it, applying pressure to the injured shoulder.

"We'll take him to the casino, Doc Gallo will fix him up," he ordered, and the driver sped off again.

She began to understand the deep bond the Joker had with his men. He seemed to treat them so poorly in every other setting, and at times she had wondered why they even bothered to stay with him. But here was where they were truly doing their work, and the Joker treated them all as equals. He stayed with them during the fighting, and the whole group worked together like a well-oiled machine. Many of the men looked like the outcasts of society, but here together somehow they seemed to fit in, like some forgotten army battalion that was still fighting despite the war's end. She could tell from the relief on the officer's face that he trusted the Joker completely, totally at ease under his care.

They arrived at what must have been the "casino," but it looked like just another abandoned building on the outskirts of the city. They carried the injured man inside, leaving her alone again. The minutes felt like hours to her, and she wondered if they were eating or resting before resuming the journey. Finally they returned without the officer, and the van began moving toward the center of town again. They seemed to have forgotten she was there, and she was happy to remain hidden under the seats.

They were speeding through the night and all sounds were muffled. She felt secure in her forgotten spot, and the long days of work and broken sleep that had been going on for weeks finally caught up with her. She fell into a deep slumber, lulled by the vibrations of the tires on the city's pavement.

He squatted down beside the drop seat, peeking under it to see Annie there. Her soft form, just barely moving with the breaths of deep sleep, stood in contrast to the hard metal edges of the van's interior. The men were surprised to see him take off his jacket and lay it over her so gently, without waking her. He settled himself back in his seat above her as if he hadn't noticed their stares, but then moved his head upward and let his gaze roam over all of them. They looked away, not wanting to trifle with his anger.

She began to wake up, the first weak light of morning showing through the few windows in the van. She could see his feet move away from her as he stood up, walking to the front to talk to the driver again, and she crept halfway out from under the seat, wondering how much time had passed - it seemed that most of the men had been dropped off, with only a few left seated in the front. The Joker was there too, talking with them. A heavy cold had fallen without many people in the back to warm it up. He turned and began moving toward his seat again, grabbing onto the benches to steady himself on the bumpy ride, in a rapid and disjointed walk that was somewhat unnerving to watch.

He bent down, crouching on the floor. "Ah, kitten, finally waking up from your nap!" he tutted with his tongue as if she was a misbehaving child. She suddenly understood why she was so warm when she saw him without his usual purple jacket and realized that it was draped over her. She was embarrassed, quickly removing it and maneuvering around him to pull herself to her feet. She was shivering almost immediately, the cold in the unheated space settling on her. The cheap jacket she had decided to wear to work that day didn't protect against this kind of weather. He stood briskly, bringing the coat up with him and regarding her as if she was absolutely stupid. He quickly wrapped the coat around her and fitted her arms through the long sleeves. He paused for a moment, holding the front edges of the jacket, their bodies close together. She almost stopped shivering for a moment with her shock at his gesture and her worry about what would happen next. But he quickly wrapped the coat around her and pushed her back into her seat.

He resumed nonchalantly lounging beside her. She stopped shivering right away - the jacket was extremely warm, as if the lining was in fact a glowing fire. She felt as if she was transported back to the moment in the ballroom - he had pressed her to the wall and the purple cloth had scratched against her face when he turned. But now the satin lining felt smooth against her skin.

She noticed a faint trace of perfume in the collar, a delicate scent that reminded her of the luxury of the parties she sometimes staffed, the fine clothes and settings that were so far removed from her daily life in Gotham. It woke her up tenfold, surrounding her in a fragrance that came from another world, far from this bleak and empty metal box.

The time passed lazily as they drove, the Joker periodically looking out the window and giving directions to the driver. Suddenly, he stood up. "Here's your stop!" he said with feigned cheer, and put his hand under her arm to pull her up beside him. She realized they were just outside her apartment building. The van came to a halt.

He studied her expression as they stood together. She looked up into the painted canvas of his face and suddenly felt bewitched by some kind of strange magic, as if she no longer had control. Her hand reached up and took a strand of his disheveled hair, running it slowly between her fingers. So beautiful, the shades of blonde and brown and green there. She saw the muscles tense in his jaw and his expression became stern. His hand reached up to grab hers - at first she thought to remove it from his hair, but he simply held it there with a gentle firmness.

The grasp of his hand was easier to read than his inscrutable face. She took it in both of her own and brought it down as if to study it. She slowly removed the purple glove.

She surveyed it carefully, as if it was something from another world, a hand that could inflict such cruelty. But his fingers were not boxy or crude. Instead they were strong and graceful, long like the fingers of an artist. She hesitated when she saw the faint outlines of triangular scars under his nails, so much like her more recent wounds from only a few months ago. He seemed to pull back, and she stopped analyzing. She covered his nails with her hand, wrapping his fingertips protectively. He shifted his eyes from their intertwined hands to her flushed face.

He moved his other hand up to her chin, resting his fingers there and slowly running a gloved thumb over her bottom lip. All the breath left her body. She stood utterly motionless, moving her gaze downward to avoid looking up at him, instinctively aware that they were walking on a knife's edge. She questioned herself, anxious thoughts racing through her brain - why had she reached up to touch him? What had propelled her to act this way?

He removed his thumb from her lip abruptly, instead bringing his hands to either side of her head and running his fingers through her hair, drawing it away from her face. The warmth crept onto her skin and spread down through her neck, but when his fingers reached the back of her head, she felt them close suddenly to make fists. He grasped her hair tightly, yanking her head back as he did it, forcing her to look at him. She took a panicked breath, terrified at his furious expression, his lips drawn back like a vicious dog. In the half light inside the van, his eyes looked utterly black and heartless when they met hers. He let out a grunt of frustration and let go of her. She realized he was roughly removing his jacket from her arms, and suddenly felt the cold night air as he pushed her out of the van onto the street.

"Goodbye, kitten," he called, the anger barely hidden under his measured voice. He motioned to the driver and continued standing by the open door, watching her as the van sped away.

The destruction the Joker had orchestrated made travel much more difficult between the two halves of the city. Three bridges had been damaged, but one remained open. People like Annie who had to commute to Upper Gotham for work found it possible but much more difficult to find transportation.

Once again, it seemed like Dent was taking the situation that the Joker had created and making it exponentially worse with his focus on law and order. After the attack on the checkpoints, he had them rebuilt and announced the beginning of a passport system for Lower Gotham. In a matter of days, a special identity card would be required for anyone from Lower Gotham to pass back and forth between the two sides of the city.

Annie had listened carefully to the news, because she immediately recognized a problem. The police would be issuing the passports. She would have to return to the station, something she was extremely reluctant to do. One day when she was passing through the apartment lobby, she recognized the mayor's voice coming from the small television and stopped to listen.

The reporter asked, "So Mayor Dent, if I want to get this passport and I have a parking ticket, should I be afraid to go to the police station to register for it?"

"No, of course not," Dent replied. The mayor and the reporter had laughed, in a way that only people who had never had more of a criminal record than a parking ticket could laugh about that question. "But those who want to hide anything from the police had better not bother trying to get that passport. If you want to travel freely in Gotham, you need to follow the rules. Those on the wrong side of the law can just stay where they are," Dent said authoritatively.

She felt the weight of his words and knew she was trapped. She couldn't go to the police to get the passport.

Annie felt the walls closing in around her. She was still making it to work, but her commute time had doubled. With the restrictions on travel that would soon become reality, it was clear to her that she would be losing her job.

She didn't know what to expect from the Joker, and after his fury when he had thrown her into the street, she wondered if perhaps he had finally given up on her. She cursed herself for her lack of self-control and the strange affection she felt for him.

And, it was somewhat easier to ignore her feelings, because a new problem was gradually taking all of her attention - she had developed a terrible cough in the weeks since the checkpoints had been destroyed, and it was getting exponentially worse by the day. It was her constant companion, keeping her up at night, taking away her appetite, and making it harder and harder to breath.

She decided that she had to try to make it to the hospital before the passport system restricted her travel. There were no major medical facilities in Lower Gotham, and now with the steady stream of people migrating away from that part of the city, the local clinics were closing without staff to operate them.

She got off the bus, happy to have finally arrived at the hospital. The cold breeze on her face felt refreshing after the hot, crowded bus, but as soon as the bitter air hit her lungs, a coughing fit began that doubled her over and forced her to stop walking. She recovered quickly, though, entering the lobby of Gotham General. The always-bustling hospital was even more crowded today, as the usual emergency room area had overflowed into the main lobby and several folding tables had been set up to handle the crowd. Everyone was afraid that Lower Gotham would be completely cut off from Upper Gotham and its hospitals, prompting people like Annie to come and receive care before that happened.

She got in line at the nearest table, trying to stay focused on the reason she was here in the turmoil of the busy room. She finally came to the front of the line, where she found two men, clearly stressed by the onslaught of people. The first one pulled out what looked like a checklist and invited her to sit down. "What are your symptoms?" he said promptly. She explained the constant coughing, but not being used to seeking medical care, didn't know exactly what to say that would point out the seriousness of her illness. The other man took out an oxygen monitor and placed it on her finger, getting a good reading on her levels. The two men looked at each other, deciding her fate.

The younger man filling out the checklist looked down and seemed to be tallying whatever he had recorded. "It looks like you don't qualify to be seen right now, but we would encourage you to come back in a week if your symptoms don't improve."

The polite sentence turned her stomach. She spoke hesitantly, even though she felt that the answer could be a matter of life and death for her. "I'm sorry, but I may not be able to travel here again after the passport system starts… this may be my last chance," she explained. The older man pulled the younger aside and asked Annie to excuse them for a moment.

"Did you hear her cough? She may have pneumonia, and you know how that could turn out if she doesn't get back here when it gets worse," said the older man quietly but urgently to the younger.

The young man pulled out the checklist, scanning it again. "We have to go by the rules, for everyone, that's the only way this is fair. You know that we are full for today anyway. We can't just keep squeezing people in. She scores under the urgent status, so she can't be seen."

"So what if she's really sick and wants to come back in a week. What if she's some gangster's girlfriend down there in Lower Gotham and he won't let her go to the police station to get the passport. What then? She's gonna die of pneumonia at whatever age she said, was it 27? And that's on us."

"We can't break the rules for one person, it's a slippery slope."

"Ok, Chris, but I'm taking my break. You go tell her no, I don't want any part of it."

The younger man came back to the table, sitting down slowly, clearly bringing bad news. "I'm sorry, miss, we only have room for urgent status patients today and you don't score in that range. Please come back next week if you are still having trouble and we will look at it again."

His repetition and controlled voice made it clear to her that he was not going to change his mind. She rarely expressed her anger, and she didn't do it in any obvious way now, but she gave him a cold stare as she stood up from the chair. She underestimated the power of her icy blue eyes. Her look of betrayal and hatred stayed with him, haunting him in the coming weeks.

She woke up, not knowing if it was morning or evening. Some sun shone through the windows into the messy apartment, but she couldn't remember when she had fallen asleep. She had given up most of her daily routine, and trash littered the floor. She had been here for a week now, since she had returned from her failed trip to the hospital. Her illness had worsened quickly after that outing, and she was no longer able to commute to work. Yesterday, she had received the call she knew she would be getting - Gotham Culinary had let her go due to her absence from her shifts.

She laid back down, her head spinning from recognizing her situation. The Joker's destabilization of Gotham certainly had given her more time, because the authorities were finding it harder and harder to extend their reach into her region of the city. However, at some point, the apartment manager or even the police would come remove her from the building. The movement of people away from Lower Gotham and the closure of businesses meant that it would be impossible to find other work. And entering Upper Gotham without a passport was now impossible.

The cough that had been nagging her for weeks broke out with particular ferocity, wracking her body and contracting her ribs painfully. She knew that there was no way she could get to the only open medical facilities in the city now, all in Upper Gotham. She had seen posters when she visited the hospital about mobile clinics traveling to Lower Gotham, but she knew they wouldn't show up near her for weeks.

And then there was the other thing - the Joker might return. Anything was possible with his mercurial personality. She had hidden her weakened condition from the men stationed outside, afraid that he might come to check on her. She tried to regain her composure and stifle her cough every time she left the apartment.

After her encounter with the Joker in the van, she was even more frightened of him, and she realized, also frightened of herself. How could she have been so brazen to reach her hand up to touch his hair? Why had she done that? Even now, part of her knew - part of her soul seemed to warm, thinking of the gentle pressure she felt when he had reached up and held her hand. She quickly snuffed the feelings out, her mind focusing on finding a way to avoid meeting him again.

She looked around at the small apartment. One thing was for sure - she didn't want to die here, a possibility that was seeming more and more real as her illness debilitated her day by day. She made the decision - she would walk out, walk into the depths of the Gotham winter. Somehow it seemed more free, more dignified, than the Joker's men finding her cold body days or weeks from now. She shuddered thinking of it.

She put on the boots reserved for her commutes to work and her long winter jacket. She knew she wouldn't last long, but tried to plan well, dressing warmly, wearing a hat, and taking some small provisions in her pockets. She didn't really want to admit to herself what she was doing - choosing her own death rather than letting it overtake her slowly.

She still locked the door behind her, instinctively, and slid the keys into her pocket. She didn't know if the Joker's men might be watching her from a distance - they usually weren't just outside her door these days, but she knew they were likely around somewhere. But that didn't matter, they would just think she was going out on an errand.

She maintained control of her emotions, walking out onto the unplowed streets. She quickly felt she had chosen correctly - the quiet beauty of the city covered in snow, with hardly any cars or vehicles, and very few pedestrians even, was exactly what her eyes had been craving. Many people had left this area since the food crisis and now the new passport system, and the terrible weather was keeping those who remained inside today.

The emptiness in front of her reminded her of bleak winters upstate as a child, when she was sometimes able to wonder off on her own and explore the broad fields and scraggly fencerows. As she embarked on the journey, though, the cold air began to tear through her lungs, making it harder and harder to breath. She felt an ominous rattle in her chest every time she exhaled. Her legs also felt much weaker than usual, and she quickly ran into trouble navigating the foot-deep snow all around her. It was the normal level of cold for Gotham but a surprisingly generous amount of snow.

Still, she felt somehow freer, having made a decision and leaving her destiny completely up to fate. She looked around her in all directions, realizing it made no difference which way she went. A quiet laugh escaped her, just from the absurdity of her hopeless situation. She couldn't see where the streets ended and the roads began with the fresh cushion of snow. She picked up her foot, closed her eyes, and half-spun around, letting it land wherever it would. She then followed that path, trudging through the empty whiteness of the abandoned streets.

Based on her condition, she was surprised at how far she made it. She just kept struggling against the snow as if she was fighting her own personal demons, until she simply couldn't anymore. She let herself fall back into its soft embrace, keeping her head and chest up by leaning back on her elbows until she was finally too tired for that too and let her head simply fall back into the waiting snow.

Memories flooded into her mind from the past, mostly of her childhood. Bleak as it was, she recalled moments of happiness too and smiled at the simple joys of early life. She thought over the more recent past and her endless struggles to claim some little piece of life in Gotham. Never-ending commutes to party venues, endless labor that exhausted her - why had she done it? The answer eluded her, turning into mist like many of her thoughts now were.

A flash of color illuminated her mind - then there was him - she had finally come around to the Joker. He travelled across her thoughts like he had strode into the ballroom that night - purple clad and with that red smile, reaching up all the way to the dark unreadable eyes. They flashed with such a fire - in her mind's eye, she began to see the flames crackling through the windows of the burning penthouse, after she had regained consciousness in the alleyway. Those warm flames, too dangerous to touch, but so beautiful, consuming everything… She felt suddenly warm, recalling how warm she had become when the Joker put his jacket around her, the heat seeming to enter her skin and travel all the way to her bones.

Why had she pushed him away? Didn't she want him to hold her, didn't she love feeling the pressure of his body on hers? She had struggled so hard against it - she smiled at her own foolishness - the only streak of color to ever enter her life, and she had run away from it. Now, she could let go, she had no reason to force away her tortured emotions. It was the end of her life. She held his fiery eyes, the sound of his voice, the texture of his clothes, she held them in her mind and dwelled on them, at last letting herself relish the thought of him and freely watch the greedy fires. She really did feel very warm. She managed to pull off her hat and unbutton her jacket, but her freezing fingers and exhausted body lost the ability to move further. She fell back again, her open eyes matching the unbroken blue of the winter sky. But in her mind, she saw only flames.

When his men let him know she left the apartment and had not returned that evening, it was as if he knew what had happened intuitively. He arrived outside her building within minutes. The cold, clear air filled his lungs, giving him new energy. The dark purple of his jacket stood in stark contrast to the pure white of the snow as he stopped there in the streetlight. The condensation of his breath hung momentarily in the air like smoke and the only sound was the muffled crunch of the snow under his feet.

He knew that time was limited. His men arrived. "Smith - take the route to Upper Gotham - Lutz - walk toward the shoreline - Fletcher, go toward the nearest store…"

He ordered them to follow all the logical paths that she might have traveled. He stood outside the apartment building in the snow, having dispatched his men and knowing she could be difficult, maybe even impossible, to find, especially with this sudden wind that had picked up, erasing her footprints.

Night had fallen and with it the brutal winds that sometimes tore through Gotham in the winter. Like a wolf tracking prey, he searched the white horizon with his keen eyes. He could see nothing, no indication of where she had trudged through the deep snow. It had eaten her tracks back up. He closed his eyes, pausing for a moment - and took a step. He had sent his men on all the paths that made sense - he would take this one that fate had simply chosen for him.

He began the trek straight ahead, shielding his face from the blowing snow that the wind had picked up. His hair blew freely, but his gloves and coat provided enough warmth to keep him going. He ploughed ahead, growing more and more concerned that no one had found her yet. He didn't think she would get this far.

Then he saw it - the black material of her jacket, visible above the white horizon. He ran over to where she lay, his eyes opening wide. She was reclined, with snow now freely blowing over her and inside her open jacket, her hair strewn out in hazel strands, contrasting with the blank white of the snow. Her eyes were open, and her face was completely peaceful - the slightest smile was formed on her blanched lips and the usual stress that animated her features was gone.

If he were a kinder man, he would have left her there, in peaceful repose. But he was not a kind man.

He kneeled beside her and began to slap her face - first gently, and then more severely. "Annie! Come back to me!" he commanded, his voice echoing emptily in the deserted streets. He shook her body, trying to see if any life was left there. The tiniest twitch of her expression showed him that there might be hope. He tried to brush what snow he could off of her, and lifted her up like a child. He walked with long strides, seemingly oblivious to the depth of the snow, to the nearest building. It looked uninhabited. He took the gun out of his jacket and broke the glass with the handle until it was completely out of the way, and stepped inside. It looked like an abandoned hair salon. He set her down as gently as he could in a large chair.

He was on the phone. "Yeah, get the helicopter, that's what I said. Gotham General, that's right. The southeast wing, I want everyone out but the doctors and nurses." He hung up, looking at her and wondering what he could do. He had gotten them out of the wind, that was something. He took the gun out of his pocket and placed it in his waistband on his back, quickly taking off his coat and wrapping it around her.

She began to stir, her expression slowly turning from peaceful to confused. "Where am I?" she asked hoarsely.

"You're… safe. You're with me, I'm taking you to the hospital."

Her confusion only seemed to grow. "I can't see very well."

"It will get better," he said, standing above her, alarmed to see the blue eyes darting back and forth but happy to see her begin to come back to herself. The effort of talking suddenly sparked a coughing fit, and her previously still body rocked with raspy coughs.

"Jesus, Annie," he murmured under his breath. The coughing finally ended.

"How did you find me?" she asked.

"Just by chance," he answered.

He ran to the blown-out window. He heard the helicopter he had expected in the distance. His men were lucky they had been able to come through for him.

"Ok, let's go," he said. Her confusion only grew, but she had already given up to fate when she stepped out of her apartment that day. She simply let him hand her limp body over to the man in the helicopter. The Joker followed after her, stepping in just as the helicopter took off again, lifting off of the white blanket of snow and leaving Lower Gotham behind. Her vision was blurred, but she could hear the rotors and feel the movement of the chopper as they sped over the city toward Gotham General.

The chaos in the southeast wing of the hospital had calmed somewhat by the time they arrived. Most of the staff and patients had been moved to other sections of the building. Things seemed to be in general disarray as they wheeled Annie down the hall. The Joker let them take her to a room to assess her condition. He knew they'd need to start IV fluids and probably antibiotics immediately.

After a short time, the staff seemed to finish their work and were filtering out of the area. The Joker strode into the small room, the remaining staff staring at him, terrified. They quickly slid along the walls to the exit, and he did nothing to stop them. He closed the door after the last one departed and looked at her. She was awake, staring up at the ceiling. He sat in the visitor's chair near her bed.

"Annie, don't go on any more of these vision quests please," he said in a frustrated voice. "Was it worth it? What did you see?" He sat back in the chair, reclining. "Did you see the angels coming down for you?" He put his hands together and fluttered his fingers like a child imitating a butterfly.

She focused on speaking with significant difficulty.

"I saw you."

Saying the words seemed to exhaust her and she closed her eyes.

It was his turn to be silent. He reached over toward her hand lying so peacefully on her chest, and then seemed to have a second thought and drew his arm back suddenly. Her eyes remained closed. He got up. "Ok, kitten, I'm going to make sure they take good care of you. I have to go now, it's a … liability for me to be here. We'll figure out a way to get you out when you are better.

"Listen, this is your id and wallet. You are Sarah Lilton now. You need to keep yourself anonymous, or else you'll become collateral. Sarah can disappear when you leave here, and that way you don't have to. Do you understand?"

She nodded her head, too tired to speak more.

He placed the wallet under her shoulder and slipped out of the room.

He strode down the hallway to the nurse's station where he had told them to gather hospital staff. Several of his men were there corralling the staff and doctors into the area.

"Who's in charge here?" said the Joker, and was greeted by silence. It was clear to him who the others were trying not to look at. "It must be you, Dr… - what's your name?"

"Dr. Breall." the man said stiltedly. The Joker rolled two of the nurses' chairs to face each other.

"Ok, Dr. Breall," he said in a sing-song voice. "Why don't you have a seat and update me on Miss Lilton's condition?" He sat down and quickly motioned for the doctor to sit in the other chair.

Dr. Breall licked his lips nervously and took his place in the chair. "It looks like… it looks like she does have hypothermia, which is a serious condition but she is conscious - it's likely she'll come out of it. The pneumonia she likely has is more difficult - her age will work in her favor, and antibiotics should bring her around, but she is close to septicemia with how extensive the illness is… there are no guarantees in medicine…"

The Joker had the knife out in the next second, moving it from one hand to the other, feeling the blade with his fingertips. "You know, Dr. Breall, I'm very familiar with the outsides of bodies. I know exactly where to cut for a slow death or a quick one. I might make a great surgeon actually - you know, let's find out." The rage grew in his voice as he continued: "How about if she doesn't get better, I'll get those nurses over there to help me, and we'll cut you open so I can see how the insides work. Maybe I'll rearrange things a little. We'll do an experiment - we'll see how long you stay alive." He closed his mouth and opened it again, sucking his cheek to make a loud pop that was especially unsettling. "Got it?"

"Yes, got it," the man said, sitting up a little taller. The Joker motioned to him to get up by flicking the knife. The doctor began yelling orders to the nurses, running down the hallway to her hospital room.

The Joker, a slow smile beginning to appear on his face, walked down the hallway to the exit. He'd abandoned the helicopter, knowing the police would now be looking for it. He had a nondescript car waiting below that wouldn't be noticed in the mass exodus from the hospital.

Additional notes: Fun fact, I actually had pneumonia when I wrote some of the scenes from this part a couple of months ago. Fully recovered now!

This is fanfic, so of course I don't own any characters from The Dark Knight (Joker, Batman, etc.). The main female character is original.