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Month 1, day 24
(╯°□°）╯MATERIALS. PLASTIC ONES.
One of them is a streamlining/redo of an older material, can you guess which one it is? Hint: It's red :D
#the great artscapade of 2025#art#my art#blender#blender render#blender 3d#cycles render#blenderbitesize#fortunately THESE plastics don't destroy the environment :D#anyway part of me is sad that I don't have anything to show for the Forspoken launch anniversary#maybe next year!#maybe not#idk we'll see#...I *do* have several photo dump projects in the works I need to actually ya know work on tho >.>#hmm#maybe if I buckle down this year and get those sorted and organized (and in some cases written) I can launch them on the third anniversary#something to consider/work towards
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I have a lot of leftover drawings in my gallery. [Blank Scripts AU]
[Content Warning: Images below contain Gore, Death, and Disturbing/Uncomfortable Imagery]
I find it a bit cute knowing they start out as crazy and then slowly settle into something calmer and relatively healthier after learning to adapt to each other's lust-turned-love. [Stanley did it first but hey :3]
#tsp blank scripts au#they love each other [genuinely] theyd rather die if theyre to go without each other by this point#hhmmm I hope the last few images arent too damning#These two go through a lot during the progression of their relationship#and I wanted to showcase that yknow?#theyre demented but theyre just perfect for each other kind of way#lovingly tearing each other apart and rebuilding each other to do it over and over again#repeating this dull process of endings over and over and finding ways to keep themselves entertained#this place was never even meant to be fun#but now that theyve gotten entangled with each other#they cant help but want to play around#even if its just for a little bit?#work can continue later right?#they love each other a little bit too much they actually need to be put in a separate cage#like a spider and a praying mantis#is it painful? yes. is it fun? also yes. do they like doing it only to each other and nobody else? YES.#their psych is genuinely so fun to explore and dissect#I had a lot of fun making these despite how deranged they look#something about them.... it drives both to do things they would never even consider doing to anybody else... but towards each other#you know what i mean? or am i just yapping nonsense again.#horror#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp#tspud#tsp au#tsp narrator#narrator tsp#stanley tsp#tsp stanley
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A crazy thing about Mouthwashing is that Pony Express lost communication with one of its freighters for months and didn’t send anyone to check.
A genuinely reputable company, or at the very least a decent one, would have sent someone, something out to check after about two weeks of silence. Two months is when the crew start questioning if they are even being looked for which implies they were already expecting it to take a while cause P.E just doesn’t care.
They don’t care about who they hire. They don’t care about the conditions they place their crew in or how safe the safety measures actually are. They just don’t care, made rules and regulations so they can care less and succeed in getting away with it with how little those ideas are discussed.
#back on remembering how little blame we give P.E very the real organizational problems that led to the interpersonal ones#there’s many facets to talk about MW in but it’s that people really down play the working class factor and that everyone on the ship are no#too far off from each other and you have to incorporate that into how things play out like the false prestige of being captain and curly#exudes creates this inflated idea he had unlimited capabilities to do much more when it’s clear he is ruled by the same restrictions just a#a slightly different angle same way Swansea as the mechanic can’t fix a vent not because it’s likely difficult but because he just lacks th#rescources and constant clearances needed so it’s a stagnant task#same way even when Anya gets to do nurse stuff it’s limited by what she is given#it’s all reflective about what they have to work with not being enough not even being barely enough#both on an aspect of actual tangible problems and subjective issues#something something boss makes a dollar the crew makes a dime curly makes a quarter and they all still struggle to stay above water#idk it’s very important and interesting and more tragic to me that they were all in the same bubble but their perceptions of each other and#priorities made them walk each other off and feel levels of resentment that should have been towards P.E like how Curly mainly resents them#but the others clearly take it to a more personal level like he got fired with them#is at the same point of starting over with nothing cause all his experience is worthless in a dying job field and all he got was papers tha#say he’s great at a role no one wants except for the one guy that forced him to exit#all of it for nothing all those years for nothing and he didn’t get to choose#I think it’s interesting that people assume curly got what he wanted when he wanted a choice in his future to continue as is or change just#because they feed so heavily into the birthday argument where a projecting Jimmy says Curly got what he wanted when curly corrects him ther#saying what he wanted was a life he didn’t have to escape from being forced out of something isn’t escape if you have no where to go or#everyone got to kinda make a choice whether we consider Jimmy crashing the ship or Anya telling Jimmy and later killing herself#curly being trapped feels so minimal cause it’s hard to recognize how he’s caged in by being the in between of the head and the crew he can#move freely through either as he has the power of boss to them and subordinate to the other he has to do what the company says to an extent#and hopefully mitigate anything the crew might do and the ‘perks’ of being captain are just different leashes he’s on with the crew and P.E#it’s like so hard to understand when you aren’t used to working in these type environments or have been in similar organizational power#structures but the crew being on the same sort of economic scale and class is so important to why and how they act the way they do#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#pony express#curly mouthwashing#captain curly
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the prophecy is actually driving me to madness with how it potentially relates to the weird route
#i like how we still dont rlly know if kris is working towards or against the prophecy#it seems like… maybe towards. considering they opened the tv dark world#and seemingly made some sort of deal with tenna to make things go how they needed to????#its interesting if the weird route is some sort of subversion of the prophecy. considering thats ALSO what susie is kinda doing#but in a different way#in a way doing sword route it almost feels like the weird route could be a SEPARATE prophecy. with how much lines up#also… what the hell are we doing with these shadow crystals.#it feels odd that one of them u can pretty much only get via doing the fucked up kill everyone game#it doesnt align veey nicely with a pacifist playthrough.#its hard to say. the formula we were expected is just not applicable at all in 3+4#godddd. so so fun#rlly funny that theories after ch1 wete like ‘is kris EVIL??’#and after ch2 it was like ‘are WE evil??? and kris hates us?’#and now after ch4 its like. ‘ok well we Might be evil and kris Does hate us. but theres also something fishy going on there so whos to say’#deltarune spoilers#ch3 spoilers#ch4 spoilers
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#personally i think chapter 5 taking place in the flower shop is pretty much a fact.#it's barely a theory and more just picking up on obvious foreshadowing#but i'm willing to consider it taking place in a later chapter due to prophecy-diverting shenanigans#now the light world segment and the festival is something i'm more unsure about#i'm leaning towards chapter 6 being something super out there and breaking the format of the narrative thus far#even more so than chapter 3 and 4#due to gerson saying the lord of the hammer series was never continued after chapter 5#i think an outdoors dark world with the possibility of bringing many of the hometown characters into the dark world#could be an interesting twist for the plot to take; and sort of makes sense by upping the stakes now that we've faced a titan#continuing to put more lightners at risk; noelle + berdly; then toriel & undyne; asgore and carol probably too#and although we've faced a titan we still don't know what exactly the roaring entails or seen how it affects lightners#like there was one titan but the roaring didn't happen. would the knight have to summon multiple titans to unleash the roaring?#would the titan just start making more titans on its own (like the spawn? would those mature into full titans?) apparently the roaring#would turn all darkners to stone like how they do when they're in the “wrong” dark world. how does that work? how does the titans'#presence affect the dark worlds themselves? and how would it affect the light world?#the roaring apparently traps the lightners in an eternal night right?? so would all lightners be dragged into a dark world; would a fountai#just subsume the entire world?#hence: outdoor dark world being a possibility.#but idk!!! maybe these kids can actually catch a break for once and just get up to normal teen shenanigans at the festival#unlikely but we'll see#deltarune#deltarune spoilers#utdr#polls#epilogue speaks#edit: okay i thought of the possibility of flower king dark world AND festival dark world in the same chapter#but i feel like that's extremely unlikely#there's been a decent amount of foreshadowing and buildup for both an asgore centric dark world and the festival#so if either of those were to get a dark world#i feel like they'd have their own chapter dedicated to themselves
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“New Moon,” Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu (Vol. 2/2024), #1.
Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Alessandro Cappuccio; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu#Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu vol. 2#Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu 2024#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Moon Knight#Mr. Knight#Marc Spector#*sigh* I just love discussions of#particularly when you go along more with like pre-Lemire accounts of Marc’s childhood#how Marc feels that he’s been attracted to bloodsports like boxing and then eventually combat and mercenary work his whole life#and if that means there’s something wrong with him (and distinctly /him/ because Steven and Jake are fine#and can demonstrably lead great lives)#not to mention the questions of if the work as Moon Knight is an extension/continuation of that blood lust#an effort to absolve himself of past transgressions/that particular character flaw#or just using an unsightly part of himself as a tool towards worthy goals#anyway don’t mind me going on in the tags#all this to also say I really want the return of boxer Marc#and it’s wild to see Marc describe himself as «okay» when this issue specifically brings up what he did to Man Mountain Marco in the ring#maybe Marc doesn’t consider that legit boxing aldhdkdh
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anyway recently i've been feeling kind of weird about my writing and feeling like i should be better more eloquent more impactful more poetic more groundbreaking just MORE like i'm not living up to my potential
and the logical part of me is like
'anna. what the fuck do you mean not 'living up to your potential.' you write FANFICTION. you make dolls KISS. in your SPARE TIME. for FUN. you are PLAYING. why are you developing a complex about THIS'
girl kill that curriculum vitae in your head can't you just LIVE without making each fucking thing you do an accomplishment you can list on a job application
#... i think this most RECENT self-hate spiral started last friday when we did that reflection/poetry thing w/ my coworkers#and. like. okay. i consider myself a 'writer' haha outside work#and i still felt like they wrote better. their work was more beautiful. more powerful. more thoughtful.#and i'm just like 'well. they're not even writers and i can't even be the best at THIS'#the goal posts are always moving moving moving and nothing feels like ENOUGH#yes yes growing up my parents instilled in me that my value comes from my achievements and nothing else yes yes#i know why i'm like this but fuck is it annoying#i'm annoyed at MYSELF. like girl shut up.#strive towards accomplishing something? feel nothing. don't strive? feel guilty for not trying hard enough. ad nauseum.#can we. can we just enjoy things. can we not have complexes about literally every part of life. can we know peace.#haha. anyway. having a normal one on a tuesday afternoon.
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Hi! I just need to ask after seeing your recent Bad Kids Class Swap piece - do you have an online store/do you think you might ever consider printing the piece as a poster? I’m in love with it and I know I’d absolutely buy it right away XD
huh you know what let's get a poll goin! lemme know if folks want to like buy prints from this blog and such. there are literally Two (2) pieces eligible for prints here anyway lol
more information: I'll probs use inprnt if I put up a storefront and I'll only put up standalone illustrations for prints. fully leaving the future open for this one I'm truly not pressed either way abt this
#not art#like maybe if I do more chibis they'd make fun stickers but once again. not doing this job-like! not going into this with that mindset#and otherwise if u just wanna tip me/send me a few dollers for fun I encourage you to put that towards crips for e-sim for gaza#or gazafunds (dot com) I will be very happy if u do! consider it a donation in my name if u'd like#of course also be warned (idk if thats the right word lol but eh) that this happening would Not make me any more merch-minded#I'll truck along here drawing my fancies as usual <3 it is afterall my house#and if u like something from this blog that's not a standalone illustration and want to put that on ur wall: go for it#I absolutely think u should print out art u like urself at 5 pixels per square mile and tape it to ur wall its good for ur brain to do that#scrapbooking has become an instagram art I don't care for that. let's bring it back to us again. revive ur middle school binder#put anime in the front of that beast. collage! do everything on standard print paper and let it rot as a part of the work#live! kill! love deeply! put things on ur wall. u can do what u want forever!#and vote in the poll I guess if u do want prints! see u later
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Alternate Sonic Rivals 2 wherein the teams are as follows:
Sonic and Silver
Espio and Rouge
Tails and Shadow
Knuckles and Metal Sonic
for maximum hijinks, silliness, and incompatibility on all sides.
#I think Tails and Shadow would hit it off best tbh#Tails states in Battle that he respects Shadow and afaik Shadow's feelings on Tails are mutual#Espio would NOT be impressed with Rouge's manners and I think she'd love to try and be the biggest pain towards him like she does to Knux#though on the other hand they both have a mission-focused mindset so they can find common ground there mayhaps#for Knux and Metal I figure Knuckles is really suspicious of what Metal is meant to be doing and he goes along to ensure Metal behaves#I don't think he'd believe a possibility that Metal turned good or anything like that#they'd part with the worst feelings between them out of everyone#and considering Silver's behaviours in the Rivals games I think it'd take a WHILE for him to warm up to Sonic XD#but Sonic knows how to deal with frosty snappy people (like Blaze in Rush) so I think they could work something out there#as long as Sonic shows himself to be fully on Silver's side and supporting of his cause Silver will be willing to cooperate with him#except then SURPRISE he's gonna get injected with seventy-three shots of pure Power Of Friendship when he least expects it lol#Espio commits crimes for Silver; Sonic turns Silver into his Colours DS self over the span of like two days XD#anyway it has been an exhausting Christmas and this is what it culminated in in my mind#the chances of me making an actual fic out of this are honestly 0 I'm sorry#but it's fun to imagine how the teams would work and why they're cooperating when switched up like that ^-^
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i don't know maybe it's the translation i read but i guess i always thought it was made fairly clear that shuro never legitimately hated laios so much as he resented him for being able to be the way he was. much like laios (albeit for very different reasons) shuro's affect is frequently commented on by others to be strange and at a mismatch with the prevailing culture around him, being very reticent to the point of the part where he tells the girl he likes that he likes her being when he Proposed. quite a few characters say something to this effect! shuro was raised in formality and stoicism and i think has a tendency towards not rocking the boat even besides that, and now here's this guy who breaks every one of his rules and he makes it look so easy. it's like a two-pronged frustration of "doesn't this guy understand that you can't just do that" and "fuck, what would it feel like to be able to do that." of course he gets mad! it's frustration, but it's also envy.
#the nemesis speaks#after their fight they're very chill/friendly and in the nightmares chapter laios literally says something to the effect of#''i thought we worked this out already!'' when dream shuro shows up. so he does consider that fight to be Working Things Out#&that like. imo makes it pretty clear that shuro's dislike of laios was never like inherent? it was just another product of him not-#-being able to say clearly when he likes or doesn't like something. trying to keep a lid on that pot until it boiled over#once the air had been cleared and laios was aware of it- i mean the relief of that honesty must have been-#-kind of fresh air to shuro atp regardless after not saying anything for so long.#& i think you can't bare that much of your soul to another person without becoming friends at least a little bit#plus all of shuro's actions after that chap and his demeanor towards laios are much warmer in general#idk where i'm going with this i guess tl;dr it's not even that shuro hates laios' autistic traits it's that they're like-#-out of place socially in opposite directions and shuro dislikes how unfamiliar laios is but also kind of wants to be more like him#this is beyond just the fact that the final line of their fight (in the translation at least) was quite literally#''that's the part of you that i envy''
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going to sleep is the good kind of fun. cuz it isn't particularly fun at all
#melonposting#i am looking forward to getting into bed soon i guess. but i wouldn't call it 'fun'#but by my own terminology i suppose i must consider it as such mustn't i?#because going to sleep isn't work... it must be play...#is going to sleep a game or a toy? now that's something to ponder#i'd say game because there's an objective (falling asleep) which can make the whole thing feel annoying and pointless if it's unfulfilled#but then that's supposing i mean 'going to sleep' and not 'sleeping'#sleeping is also play. is it a game or a toy? i guess a toy. cuz you have dreams. but i'm not sure#i suppose it has an objective too (getting a good night's rest) but that isn't something you actively work towards in the moment#like when you're asleep i don't think there's anything you can do to stay asleep or improve the quality of your sleep?#i'm thinking about this too much. i need to brush my teeth and go to bed#may contain nuts
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Stop bringing your own couch just so you can crash here (Patreon)
#Doodles#Wander Over Yonder#Commander Peepers#Emperor Awesome#Invited himself over and is making a nuisance of himself lol#I guess in a timeline where he and Peepers are at least tentative friends - specific-context friends only-once-work-is-done friends lol#I guess it could also be considered Eyesome lol very lightly#He's not done with his work Awesome! Leave him be!#No he's bored for real and he wants attention lol#Peepers is soldering something - I do love how he refuses to take off his helmet for anything work-related lol#Awesome only intended to bother him enough to get attention but Peepers is Not in the mood try again later#He got him talking and thought that was enough! Nope!#It's really that kind of thing of their mismatch that gets me about their dynamic ah ♪#Awesome's ''Any attention is good attention'' and Peepers' need for things to be done a certain way without compromise#Even if he overall would have positive feelings towards Awesome by this point getting in his way to his ends is unforgivable!#He's not gentle with Anyone not even Hater on that front :D Awesome gets to learn that up close and personal!#He doesn't get his way just 'cause anymore! He can't sway Peeps just by flaunting and he doesn't want to (? :3c) intimidate him into play#Peepers on the other hand not at all shy about voicing his displeasure and it's surprising because?? Awesome not getting what he wants??#He is still only as effectual as he is impressive haha - I love him but he's not exactly a formidable form#Tippy toes <3#Get this man some heels stat
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Really torn between "this story is really important to me and I want people to read it" and "isn't one of the reasons I decided to never enter the professional publishing world because marketing myself stresses me the fuck out? and also I'm extremely bad at it??"
Things to consider as I contemplate making a post and blazing it on tumblr.
#I'm considering making a post and using the money I got from patreon last month to blaze it at a low level#an easy come easy go attitude towards the money#it's not the most effective way of marketing but it's the baby step version lmao#the putting a sign up on the telephone pole next to your house form of marketing#I guess we'll see if that actually gets me any new readers#then go from there#man I have known some VERY charismatic writers who wrote like two mediocre books and managed to segue that into an entire career#and then other writers who are fantastic and always put in the work but struggle to get any attention on their books#I think so much of it is personality#the one person I'm thinking of had a real cult of personality (emphasis on the cult) and that led to problems down the road#but boy did they market themselves well in the meantime lmao#anyway I have the personality of a hermit crab so it is not the part I'm good at haha#I just wanna leave my manuscripts on people's kitchen table like elves or something#but alas#anyway I might try the blaze idea after I put up this week's chapter#I feel like by chapter six people will know if they like what I'm doing or not
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breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh
#helix.txt#gross i ended up spilling my guts in tags. look at them fucking writhing on the floor all bloody#dont rb please#vent#to quote fall out boy i knew it was over i just didn't know the date#yeah that's it. fall out boy can fix this.#i will feel better if i go listen to bang the doldrums#and infinity on high in general#and folie a deux. folie a fucking deux how i love that album#my chem will make me better. gerard way save me#god what a weird feeling. you used to know me better than any other person but then you moved hundreds of miles away and it worked#for a while. then two years later you said it wasnt working and that this was best for both of us. guess i never got the memo for that one#hope we treat other people better because i wasn't as kind as i should have been towards the end and you were never as thoughtful or con-#-siderate as i needed towards the end. we grew apart because you're bad at keeping contact over messaging#and in some ways the cracks in the foundation that grew from that were my fault too i guess. our conversations always felt one sided#maybe i was smothering you#you could never seem to keep more than a passing recollection of the things i liked or even pay much attention to them#but i wasn't great about that either#we just became different people. you weren't what i wanted or needed and you couldn't do long distance. whatever#i know it was the right thing i just wish it hadn't made me feel so damn awful#will we still talk after this? who knows. we didn't end on bad terms but things are definitely weird#and considering your track record with people you can only talk to online i'm not optimistic#you tried to break things off initially by saying you'd said you would improve in the past with nothing to show for it#something i didn't disagree with but i said it didn't bother me much. and it didn't#but it's complicated now. i did deserve better. but you made it clear i'm not getting it from you#you weren't as present or thoughtful as i needed#i wasn't there in person the way you needed and certainly not as considerate as i should have been. and for that second part i'm truly sorr#anyways. sorry. i'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. i didn't want to admit it because i didn't like to think#about what it might bring. maybe i should have been braver#right. that's enough
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"unrequited_love.png"
#sage's diary#018#1/26/2025#wow! two diary posts within 24 hours?! its a christmas miracle!!!#anyways im going insane#this keeps fucking happening man 😭😭😭#unlike every other time though its been consistent thoughts like i wouldve had with my bf before we got together#and thats. almost scaring me#moreso just because im scared of the feelings not being mutual or reciprocated#ive kept trying to remind myself that it probably wouldnt work out anyways cause of distance and other reasons#but its been getting harder to internalize that. im getting too hopeful i fear#i just wonder if he even feels the same way back. let alone consider me an option#im shocked ive been doing as well as i have been mentally with this fucking rollercoaster of feelings#especially considering before it was feelings towards more than one person#now its just back to. one. and now it feels like theres more pressure to DO something about it#part of me hopes at some point he'll get the hint and see the signs. but im also scared for that to happen#so i'll just keep fantasizing i guess#same old same old#(edit @12:22am 1/27: adding onto this 4-5 hours later but)#(part of my guilt with these feelings is also that a good chunk of what im feeling towards him is mostly sexual)#(which just makes me feel more bad about my hypersexuality if anything)#(like i wish i could just have ONLY romantic thoughts about a person and not entirely just want to get freaky nasty w them)#(idk man i wish i just experienced attraction like a normal person. is all im sayin)#(hopping off now for da night o7)
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Hrmm... put together a roommates quiz finally after years of thinking it would be an interesting idea lol.. Though obviously not meant to be taken super seriously, I just like thinking about this aspect of personality compatibility. Like yeah, maybe you could get along with someone just chatting with them, but living together is such a different thing. .. curiouse...
#Not that I think that many people would really care since I barely know anyone on tumblr in real life and would never live with random#internet strangers lol but... idk.. I made this to give to friends from time to time and thought... why not post it here too#just out of sheer curiosity if anyone takes it what the most common results would be and etc.#My initial assumption is that most people would probably fall into the 'maybe' category and that either extreme of 'best roomates'#and 'worst roomates' would be the least common#very long also since I like to be thorough I guess#THOUGH... upon second thought... tumblr is home of the like Weird Introverts Who Sit Inside All The Time.. so maybe it's more#likely to come across compatible poeple on here. given that many of the questions are about how meticulous#people are with their scehdules or how often they invite friends over or if they like to mostly stay inside etc.#(since personally I think having a roommate coming and going and bringing random people over all the time would be too chaotic#lol... I need a peaceful quiet household)#Also I kind of don't like the way uquiz seems to do results. I was hoping it would be a number tally? I used some sort of quiz making site#before where you weight the question responses with a number (so the 'Best' response is worth a 0#The worst is worth like 5 points. and all the in between are like 1 - 4 points or something). So then it is actually possible to have a#''perfect score'' category (someone who gets a literal 0 points). and also you could weight some EXTREMELY bad answers#to add like +10 to the score instead of just +5. And someone who got the MAX possible points would be the WORST compatibility. etc.#But uquiz seems to just be like ''which category did you score towards the MOST'. So someone can give some pretty bad answers#that are VERY non compatible. but as long as MOST of their answers landed in a 'compatible' category#then they would still be listed as compatible despite still actually having some dealbreakers in there. Which is also possible with the#'every answer is a number amount' ranking system too. but I feel like that one does allow for a little more customization#and accuracy (like making the dealbreakers add like...+40 to the score or something so that#there's basically NO way that someone could answer with one of those and still get a good score. Or the ability to have a literal#'perfect score' (getting a zero) etc.#BUt anyway lol... inchresting.. inchresting... curious to consider maybe making a uquiz#for the characters in the gameI'm making like.. which npc are you type quiz or something#now that I've made one and seen how it works.. hrmm hrmm....#(< game will not even be done for like another year but still thinking about nonsense like this lol)
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