#soocd

[werelesbian]

Going to preface before I go on a long-winded rant: I am diagnosed with OCD--a disorder that causes me immense distress with unwanted thoughts and images, including the things described below. It will also cause me to fixate on things such as worrying I'm faking my sexuality. I am currently in therapy for my disorder and currently in a relapse. Please don't try and reassure me in my comments as it makes the cycle worse. Also, please don't go into my comments saying that sexuality is 'fluid', it's okay to be bisexual/straight, or that lesbians can like penis or men. It's not helpful. Great, cool for you if that's how you feel for yourself. But I am a lesbian and know that I am one.

It's been a long time since I ranted on here, but my OCD & mental health are spiraling again. It feels like it'll never stop. I keep getting intrusive thoughts about men constantly, pretty much no matter what I'm doing and it's worse when I interact with them. I get constant thoughts worrying about if I 'secretly like them' and will fixate on any random man. I also do checking compulsions to test to see if I am attracted to them. I sometimes do it with women to make sure I am attracted to them to 'reaffirm' my sexuality. OCD is one of those things where it will never be satisfied with any answer and will continue to try and seek out 'evidence'. For me, I will compulsively search for every little thing. It's horrible and its been making me super stressed out.

It's constant and nonstop, causing me to dissociate from real life and feeling horribly disconnected. I also can't focus on shit either and have to do three different things to keep the thoughts at bay--listening to music, reading something, and playing a video game all at the same time. It's like I'm always far away and glass-eyed. My biggest fear is that I am going to be attracted to men or find them appealing. I don't want to be bisexual or straight. I don't want to end up with men. Currently the past few months seeing all these queer women who were very sapphic suddenly become obsessed with men is disheartening. I understand that they are queer/bi/pan and that's great, but it feels like they're pushing the belief that all lesbians need is the 'right man'. I worry that someday I'll just 'wake up' and no longer like women, turning into whatever fucking tradwife Jojo Siwa has become. I'd rather kill myself

I also hate when people say that lesbians can like penis or men. I've seen a lot of debates online saying that lesbians can like penis or can even like men. I personally do not and it reinforces my OCD that 'its only a matter of time before I like men', like a clock counting down. I'm so tired and just want my brain to shut up.

It's even worse during sex because my brain will give me intrusive thoughts about dicks or random things, making it hard to be present in the moment. I feel tainted by men cause it feels like I can't even enjoy sex with women, making me worry that I don't like sex with them. I just wanna lay down and just not do anything.

[so-ocd-sufferers-are-really-cool]

sorry for taking so much time to send an ask lol so-ocd currently beating my ass

Hi sweetheart,

Jesus, I know exactly how you feel. SO-OCD is actually evil.

Please remember that these thoughts are not a reflection of who you are. You may feel as if they’re real every waking moment, but they’re lying to you. You are not the thing you fear you are.

However, when you think it might be true, try not to resist. “What if I’m-?” So what if you are? You’ll deal with it.

If you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to reach out. SO-OCD is a huge bitch, and I’ve definitely been there before.

Good luck, honey.

[ocdcatgirl]

it's an uncomfortable topic, but i wanted to share this article because i really wish i had read it when i was younger and in a dark place because of this. the ERP thought process is pretty much the same as what ultimately brought me out of it. i hope that this can reach anyone else out there struggling with the same issue. you are not alone, other people have dealt with it too!

[antleredventing]

GOING THROUGH SO-OCD AND ROCD IS SUCH ASS

[ocd-discovery]

Welcome!

This blog is meant to be a safe space to talk about OCD and vent.

I will also make polls, positivity posts, questions, etc.

Vent rules: Please add trigger warnings if you are discussing topics that are sexual or violent in nature. This is in no way to shame you, just so people reading don't go through unwilling exposures.

I also ask for people to not provide reassurance as that is proven to worsen OCD symptoms. If reassurance is genuinely needed then it will be tagged as such.

I do not have anonymous on since there are lots of people who harass or otherwise harm those with OCD, if you want your vent to be private just let me know.

If you are at risk of genuinely harming yourself or others I encourage you to contact your local hotline.

[ephialtea]

my rocd in a nutshell:

me asking my ldr bf if he could post me on ig: *obsesses over how he’s hiding me and doesn’t love me at all to be posted*

*he posted me twice with some sweet captions and songs*

*me now spiraling that he’s an obsessive clingy and abusive creep, he should stop cause it’s freaking me out*

[enolabar]

Sexual Orientation OCD often starts with the unsettling question of identity: how can one be certain about their sexual orientation when plagued by obsessive thoughts? For many, this mental struggle is real and perplexing. Recently, during a conversation with a friend, this topic emerged when she voiced her concerns about her relative experiencing obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) with a specific worry about being gay. It was puzzling for her, as she believed these thoughts indicated a possible hidden LGBTQ+ identity. However, as a queer individual with OCD, I knew otherwise. Let's delve into what sexual orientation OCD is and explore its nuances compared to an authentic LGBTQ+ experience. What Is Sexual Orientation OCD? Sexual Orientation OCD is a variant of obsessive-compulsive disorder known as purely-obsessional OCD. Unlike other forms of OCD, this subtype focuses predominantly on mental rumination rather than observable compulsive behaviors. Intrusive thoughts around one's sexual orientation are hallmark symptoms, leading individuals to question the gender to which they are truly attracted. While the more common scenario is straight individuals fearing they might be gay, those within the LGBTQ+ community can experience anxiety that they might actually be straight. Symptoms of Sexual Orientation OCD Several symptoms commonly illustrate sexual orientation OCD, such as: Persistent monitoring for any signs suggesting homosexuality or heterosexuality. Analyzing interactions with others to detect any sign of romantic interest or attraction. Repeatedly seeking affirmation from partners or loved ones concerning one's sexual orientation. Looking at attractive individuals from different genders to evaluate personal feelings of attraction. Consuming media about LGBTQ+ or straight experiences to find parallels with one's own life story. Sexual Orientation OCD vs. Authentic LGBTQ+ Identity The crux of understanding lies in distinguishing between sexual orientation OCD and being part of the LGBTQ+ community. Sexual orientation OCD manifests as a mental health issue characterized by unrelenting doubt and anxiety over one's orientation. In contrast, identifying as LGBTQ+ is a natural state of being. LGBTQ+ individuals' concerns often stem from external discrimination or internalized societal prejudices rather than an inherent unease about their identity. Recognizing the Differences Determining whether one is experiencing sexual orientation OCD or genuinely identifying as LGBTQ+ typically requires the expertise of a mental health professional. It is crucial to seek help from therapists who understand both OCD and LGBTQ+ issues. A helpful self-assessment is to introspect whether these intrusive thoughts align with one's true feelings and attractions. Individuals plagued by OCD may obsess over their orientation, while LGBTQ+ people naturally feel drawn to and desire relationships with those of the same gender. Ultimately, seeking professional guidance is indispensable as experts can discern through layers of doubt created by OCD and aid in the journey toward clarity. The Role of Acceptance and Self-Discovery For those grappling with sexual orientation OCD, the road to acceptance and understanding can be daunting. However, addressing these intrusive thoughts with both professional support and self-compassion is essential. Over time, many individuals learn to embrace their evolving identities, which may include sorting out genuine feelings from OCD-induced distress. In contrast, LGBTQ+ individuals often find fulfillment and joy in accepting and living their authentic lives. Though societal pressures might pose challenges, embracing one’s true self leads to genuine happiness and complete identity integration. Finding Peace Amid Uncertainty In conclusion, understanding and navigating sexual orientation OCD involves much more than distinguishing it from an LGBTQ+ identity. It requires an acceptance of the condition, patience during the exploration process, and adept professional guidance.

With these tools, both individuals with OCD and those embracing LGBTQ+ identities can lead lives grounded in authenticity and self-acceptance.  

[skyllion-uwu]

SOOCD is so funny, like OCD is basically "what if I tormented you with horrible worst case scenarios that distress you so much you'll do anything to prevent them from happening" and SOOCD decides the worst case senario is you're secretly lying about your sexuality 💀

God I do not want to tell my therapist I have SOOCD but I know he can't help and I need someone who does know how to handle OCD but I also need someone who's normal about aros and aces because if I get hit with "that's not OCD that's just the truth and you're traumatized which is why you're so distressed" I'll claw my chest open in their office THAT'S WHAT THE OCD SAYS TOO EVEN THOUGH I HAVE CONCRETE PROOF I'VE ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY AUGHHHHHHHHH

[redheadbigshoes]

I keep having sexual intrusive thoughts about men and they make me extremely scared and uncomfortable, it’s probably not like how the anon with soocd experiences them but it made me privately start trying on the bi label even if it feels totally wrong and just.. idk.

I think trying a new label can be good, sometimes only doing that is the way to figure out your sexuality.

What did you feel after trying the bi label?

[scrupulosity-et-al]

OCD can target anything and everything. you're not a "weirdo" or a "freak" for getting thoughts that relate to more uncommon themes. your thoughts don't make you a bad person just because you've never heard of someone else having that thought before.

nearly everyone with OCD will, at some point, have a thought that makes them go "nobody has ever thought this before". that's just a part of having OCD. it does not make your OCD any less real and it doesn't make you a bad person

[me-you-and-my-medication]

--- "PURE O" OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER.

Pure O, also known as purely obsessional OCD, is a form of OCD marked by intrusive, unwanted, and uncontrollable thoughts (or obsessions). While someone experiencing Pure O may not engage in obvious behaviors related to their intrusive thoughts, such as counting, arranging, or hand-washing, the disorder is instead accompanied by hidden mental rituals.

[so-ocd-sufferers-are-really-cool]

SO-OCD is a little bitch. So I made a blog to help other people with it.

Hi, I’m Jenny (she/her), and I’ve been experiencing SO-OCD since 2021. I’m technically in recovery, but do have episodes about once a month. I won’t share too much about my experience here, unless you ask, because I want to help YOU.

This blog is for basically everything SO-OCD related. Vent or ask for advice in my asks! I’ll share memes, polls, etc.

Of course, other subtypes are welcome! I just haven’t seen a lot of posts on here regarding SO-OCD, so I figured a support blog for it specifically would be nice.

GROUND RULES:

-DNI if you’re any sort of anti, especially regarding gender and sexuality. Since SO-OCD is sexuality focused, people of all different sexualities will be here. No hate of any sort will be tolerated.

-Please don’t go TOO into detail about NSFW. Obviously, all mature themes and topics can’t be avoided in a sexuality-based obsession, but I’d like everyone to be comfortable here.

-Please don’t make any jokes about anyone’s obsessions/compulsions! OCD is a nonsensical disease, and telling them that will not help. Also, telling someone to give into their intrusive thoughts is a BIG NO-NO.

I hope this is a space for everyone to be able to feel comfortable in all stages of their SO-OCD. You guys got this :D

[thatrandomartistjavi]

I’m so tired of SO-OCD only being talked about in the context of straight people

Cause when they talk about other men who have it, they always talk about them being scared to be attracted to men which I can’t relate to cause I’m a gay man

And I don’t like including myself with women because it makes me feel dysphoric cause I’m a gay man and not only that but a trans one. So while I do experience fear of being attracted to women, it’s just not in the same way

Idk I feel like I’m the only gay man with these thoughts and it’s just so isolating

[zebra-effect]

to ppl with lesser known or less "acceptable" ocd themes: i love you

[skyllion-uwu]

I wanna be in a QPR so bad but I can't communicate efficiently without feeling guilty for expressing my own needs and wants, so for everyone's wellbeing I just don't bring it up