#source: various

[in-correct-trolls]

branch: i’d follow poppy to hell and back but i wish she’d stop going there

[lilythelitten]

Incorrect Investigation Institute Quotes

*when the Institute was first formed*

Night: If I say yes am I joining a cult?

Irratino: Possibly.

Night: I’m in.

~~~~

Azure: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth.

~~~~

Cloud: We all have our demons.

Azure, grabbing Onyx: This one’s mine!

~~~~

Raven: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.

Umber: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

Raven: Not when you’re playing against Flint, it’s not. He uses words like “ephemeral” and I put “pig”.

~~~~

Azure: Whatcha got there...?

Cloud: *petting a ostrich* A smoothie.

~~~~

Irratino: Why would you give a knife to Seashell?!

Onyx, shrugging: Seashell felt unsafe.

Irratino: Now I feel unsafe!

Onyx: I’m sorry.

Onyx: Would you like a knife?

~~~~

Night: I hate taking off my glasses, because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.

~~~~

Flint: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.

Umber: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues?

Raven: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

~~~~

Cloud: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward.

Raven: I’m worried about you.

~~~~

Irratino: What makes a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?

Umber: A stab wound.

~~~~

Cloud: Hey I just got a pet snake. What should I name him?

Flint: A pet WHAT?!

Azure: William Snakespeare.

~~~~

Irratino: I hate you sometimes.

Seashell: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

~~~~

Flint: I hate you with every inch of my body!

Night: That’s not a lot of inches.

~~~~

Seashell: Surgery is basically just stabbing someone to life.

Raven: Please never become a surgeon.

~~~~

Onyx: Do you know the ABCs of first aid?

Azure: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.

~~~~

Irratino: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.

The squad: Awwww-

Irratino: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."

The squad: Oh.

[devilsrecreation]

Outlander Incorrect Quotes pt 3

Janja: *mocking Jasiri* Miss me, miss me, now you gotta ki- *pauses*

Jasiri: Now, I gotta what? 😏

Janja: Nothing, forget it-

Jasiri: No no no, now I gotta what? 😏

Some hater: Listen to me, I don’t like you!

Shupavu: Do we give a fuck?

Njano: No, not one.

Shupavu: How many fucks do we give?

Njano: Zero.

Shupavu: Exactly. Therefore, your comment is

Both: ✨Irrelevant✨

Reirei: My husband is wearing a fucking suit to his autism diagnosis appointment

Goigoi: It’s a special event :D

Reirei: Shut up-

Janja: I don’t see any beautiful girls

Reirei: Just turn around~

Janja: Reirei please, only one of us can hallucinate at a time

Goigoi: Who’s the toughest animal you know?

Dogo: Mom.

Goigoi: …….Who’s the toughest male animal you know?

Dogo: You’re the toughest male animal I know!

Human AU

Nduli/Hodari: I made you a friendship bracelet!

Kiburi/Makuu: I’m not really a jewelry person

Nduli/Hodari: You don’t have to wear it

Kiburi/Makuu: No, I’m gonna wear it. Forever. Back off

Some female jackal: What’s your type?

Goigoi: I have a mate

Jackal: So what’s your type then?

Goigoi: …My mate

Jackal: What does she look like?

Goigoi: She looks like my mate

Jackal: So what would you rate me out of ten?

Goigoi: I can’t do that

Jackal: You can’t rate me at all?

Goigoi: Nope

Jackal: Then what would you rate your girlfriend out of ten?

Goigoi: She broke my scale cuz she’s so beautiful

Jasiri: You guys kidnapped Queen Dhahabu?! That's illegal!!!

Cheezi: But Jasiri, what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Dhahabu or destroying the Outlands?

Jasiri: Kidnapping Queen Dhahabu, Cheezi!

Janja: Jasiri. Listen. Whatever I may think of you right now, these guys are counting on you. You inspire them!

Jasiri: What? T-To kidnap animals?

Janja: To work together!

Jasiri: TO KIDNAP ANIMALS?!?

Chungu: Prime Minister Jasiri, we all agreed a celebrity is not an animal

Sumu: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me

Sumu: Kenge, I’m begging you to go to a healer

Kenge: Sorry, is this OUR stab wound?! Stay out of it!

Sumu: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Kenge’s been raging in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

Kenge: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Sumu: I do have a sense of humor you know

Kenge: I’ve never heard you laugh before

Sumu: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

Kenge: You kill animals for food?!

Sumu: I can explain!

Kenge: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a chump!

After he accidentally said ‘little’ in front of Kenge:

Janja: Top 30 reasons why we’re sorry…Number 5 will surprise you!

Kenge: Top 30 anime deaths. Number 1:YOUR FUCKING TAIL RIGHT NOW

Nduli: What’s the height of stupidity?

Kiburi: *turning to Tamka* How tall are you?

Janja, driving his crew: So how was your day?

Cheezi: We almost got surprise adopted!

Chungu: Yeah!

Janja: What?

Nne: We almost got kidnapped.

Janja: Oh, okay.

Janja: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

Store Worker: Would a Mx. Kiburi please come to the front desk?

Kiburi, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Tamka and Nduli

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Tamka and Nduli, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Kiburi: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

Ushari: How's the lovliest animal here~?

Shupavu: I don't know, how are they~?

Ushari, flustered: I-

Njano, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

Tamka: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Kiburi?

Kiburi: … No.

Nduli: I do!

Kiburi: I know, Nduli.

Nduli: I’m sad!

Kiburi: I know, Nduli.

Jasiri: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.

Shupavu: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Njano isn’t

Human AU

Tamka: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Kiburi: You’re a hazard to society

Nduli: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

Kiburi: Heh. Look at those guys using that cliff as a slide

Janja: *chuckles* What furbrains!

Kiburi: Idiots.

Janja and Kiburi: *realizes it’s Chungu, Cheezi, Tamka, and Nduli*

Janja: Wait a minute…

Both: *simultaneously* THOSE ARE OUR FURBRAINS/IDIOTS

[ahopelessblogaboutdinosaurtrain]

Buddy: I wish I hadn't been raised so well. Buddy: Because this situation deserves a much worse swear than fiddlesticks!

[incorrectdropsofabsinthe]

candy: i’m clearly seeking a path of forgiveness, recovery, and accountability!

the groves: you can seek that in jail.

absinthe: or hell!

[stinkybrowndogs]

Mutts

[drulalovescas]

supernatural was hilarious in how they made it obviously clear that everybody knew dean and cas were head over heels in love.

angels, demons, monsters, gods, humans even.

and they knew they were each other's weaknesses and used that against them. and they all made fun of them about it. and they all taunted them both about their feelings for each other.

Epic cinema.

[prettylittleproblem]

The Witch

[cockroachesunite]

The Belgica wardroom

[magnificent-winged-beast]

Them...

[in-correct-trolls]

branch: none of you might remember this, but there was a time when poppy was considered out of my league. oh how the mighty have fallen (into my arms)

[lilythelitten]

Incorrect Investigation Institute Quotes #3

(Minor spoilers for Murdle Jr down below!)

Flint: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’

Onyx: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

~~~~

Azure: Raven, you can do anything!

Raven: Anything?

Azure: Anything!

Raven, holding a torch: ANYTHING?!?!

Azure: Wait, not that!

~~~~

Night: I'm tired.

Umber: You slept for three hours last night! Why are you surprised?!

Night: I'm not surprised. I just wanted to complain about it.

~~~~

*Murdle Jr, in the impossible hedge maze*

Irratino, standing over Night’s unconscious body: Oh no. Please don’t be dead.

~~~~

*some time after Murdle Jr (again)*

Onyx: Well, I’m very sorry to hear about your sister.

Seashell: Mmm, we aren’t really that close.

Onyx: Oh, good.

~~~~

Azure: It’s beautiful outside this morning!

Night: It’s 2AM.

Azure: It’s beautiful outside!

Onyx: We’re indoors.

Azure: It’s beautiful!

Cloud: It’s storming.

Azure: It’s!

~~~~

*Cloud is considering cancelling plans, and Flint and Umber are advising them on what to do*

Flint: Just don't go.

Umber: Say you’re ill!

Flint: Pretend to break your leg.

Umber: Really break your leg!

~~~~

Cloud: A-are you sure this is safe?!

Seashell: Oh, quit being such a baby. It’s perfectly safe! ...For me!

~~~~

Raven: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

~~~~

Seashell: Do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you.

Seashell: Ask me to kill for you.

Irratino: ...First of all, calm down-

~~~~

Raven: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?

Cloud: Can't relate.

Azure: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

~~~~

Flint: Are you mad?

Night: No.

Flint: So sharpening your knives at 3 AM is just a hobby?

~~~~

Cloud: Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, owls DON'T like it.

Onyx: ...what happened?

Cloud: I made a VERY bad mistake.

~~~~

Irratino: All in all, a 100% successful trip.

Umber: But we lost Seashell.

Irratino: All in all, a 100% successful trip!

~~~~

Umber: I dare you-

Night: Raven’s not allowed to accept dares anymore.

Umber: Why not?

Raven: “I have no regard for my own or others’ personal safety”, as some put it.

~~~~

Irratino: I promise, my employees are competent.

Azure, rushing into the room: IRRATINO WE TRIED TO MAKE PASTA IN THE COFFEEPOT AND WE BROKE EVERYTHING!

[devilsrecreation]

Some TLG incorrect quotes-Outlanders edition

Janja: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

Rerei: No

Kiburi: Nope

Reirei: Absolutely not

Kenge: I hope it sucks with whatever you’re going through

Sumu: “I hope it sucks” 😂

Janja: What the fuck?

Njano: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life

*Everyone else starts chucking*

Mzingo: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you

*Everyone laughs harder*

Shupavu: I can’t wait to go to your funeral knowing I could’ve changed the outcome

*Everyone sans Janja is dying of laughter*

Janja: OH BROTHER! WHAT THE HELL?!

Captured by Makucha’s army

Shupavu: Don’t tell them NOTHIN-

Smun: Shut up, skink. You’re lucky I don’t hit girls.

Shupavu: Me neither….but for you, I’d make an exception! OHHHHHHHHHHH

Njano: Ohhhhhh!

Makucha: QUIET!

Shupavu: *quietly* Ohhhhhhh!

Njano: *at Makucha’s leap* Gentlemen, gentlemen, let’s be civil about this. Let’s make a deal! You surrender and you don’t die. How does that sound?

Makucha: *mockingly* And how are you gonna kill us?

Njano: Oh no, I can’t kill you….but my buddy can. Say hi, Sumu!

Sumu: Hi

TLG writers: *to Kenge* We thought you were dead

Kenge: No, I was just down here having a nap…what the fuck is going on?!

Writers: You were very still, I poked y-

Kenge: I’m a very sound sleepe-SORRY, you thought I was dead and instead of calling for help or doing anything about it, you got someone to be a shit oversized version of me and started singing FUCKING SHOWTUNES?!?!

Writers: The show must go on

Kenge: OH, THIS IS BULLSHIT

[justalittlebluetiefling]

Like so many people have said already. This is the stupidest thing they've ever done but it really will create a lot of fun potential for next campaign.

[sapphiretanto]

I always feel like 2012 Leo post Season 5 just said “Screw it” and stopped holding his tongue and said whatever came to mind

*Early Morning at the Hamato home and Mikey is rousing everyone for breakfast… with a bugle*

Mikey: *blowing the bugle in the tune of “Reville”* EVERYBODY UP! I MADE BREAKFAST! BE IN THE KITCHEN AT 6 AM SHARP!

Raph, Casey, April, and Donnie: *covering their ears and glaring at Mikey when he blows the bugle directly in their ears as they blearily stumble to the kitchen*

Leo: *rubbing his eyes as comes towards the kitchen*

Mikey: *blows the bugle in Leo’s “ear”*

Leo: *flinching* OW! FUCK!! *glaring at Mikey* You blow that fucking horn again, I swear to god, I will ram that fucking thing up your GODDAMN ASS!!!

Mikey: … *slowly puts the horn down*

Raph: *mostly shocked and mildly amused*

April, Casey, Donnie: … *stare wide-eyed as Leo stumbles into the kitchen for tea*