#spock is a menace

[1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt]

Someone posted this in a Trek group:

Counter theory:

"My theory was always that Spock was the unhinged and wild one -- a rebel by Vulcan standards -- and he radicalized "stack of book with legs" Jim Kirk.😂

Spock was the one out there mind melding with every Horta, Nomad and V'Ger while Jim and Bones absolutely panicked in the background.

Then Jim usually ended up being the one to get Spock out of it, too. The Apple, Operation Annihilate, A Private Little War, The Infinite Vulcan, TMP . . . How many times did we see Kirk have to carry Spock body and limb and slightly on fire back to the ship after he got into it?

The amount of shit Jim has to do for Spock in Star Trek III alone.

Spock is like the Enterprise housecat who stubbornly insists on being an outdoor cat and keeps escaping, later having to be carried back indoors. He keeps causing mischief but everybody loves his ass anyway.

Kirk and Spock were chaotic messes who loved their frontier first contact work in TOS and onward -- they deserved each other.😂👌

Shit, cat got out again.

[sad-trekkie-life]

The duel started because of a woman, but still squire sabotages Kirk with shooting Spock and Kirk agrees immediately. With a genuine fear in his eyes.

[lichqueenlibrarian]

The footnote is there to remind you that Gene Roddenberry made them soulmates in the motion picture.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Crossover Crack Ship Toxic Yaoi

Important!: In these scenarios, Spock and Bones are just normal people to Tuvok and the Doctor and NOT practically historical figures whom they may or may not have read about and looked up to. This is just person-to-person and vibe-to-vibe. 'Winning' in this context means 'most interesting' or 'speaks to your heart more' - which brand of toxicity is emitting the most enticing siren's call? Vibes and potential points of friction under the cut.

S/T Overview: Spock and Tuvok have canonically clashed in the past, with Tuvok "speaking out against" his more radical ideas. (Though that obviously hasn't happened in this scenario, since their personalities are the same I don't see why it wouldn't) I can imagine that if they were on the same ship for any length of time, Spock would be compared to Tuvok and it would remind Spock of being back on Vulcan slash negative. Tuvok frequently dictates what is and is not Vulcan in casual speech, leading to even more avenues for direct comparison and not-so-subtle digs. I can imagine Tuvok seeing Spock as reckless and inappropriately emotional, especially since in this scenario there is no historical-figure-spock who's proven himself to be a wise and revolutionary thinker whom Tuvok respects. I can imagine there's something here about Kirk since I don't think Tuvok would mesh well with him and might outright dislike him. Tuvok negs Spock about playing chess instead of kal-toh, which he canonically thinks is leagues above chess - the game for baby idiots. Dr/B Overview: Bones canonically distrusts tech and would absolutely not take a holographic doctor well, especially as the only Doctor on board his ship. They are both prone to being snide and neither are great about interacting with women but would 100% view the other as being worse. The Doctor often talks about how he's better because of his holographic nature (despite his clear longing to be more Human) and this would infuriate Mccoy because no stinkin' hologram could ever compare to Human hands! A Human heart! They are both prideful and resolute in what they think is right, which I imagine would often be in conflict with one another. What does it mean to be Human? What does it mean to be alive? Loud opera singing during work hours. Both want romance and are unlucky in love but would immediately blame the other for their own romantic blunders. What kind of woman would want YOU? The Doctor would lecture Mccoy about his drinking and peer over his shoulder making corrections to every little thing he does because it's not Perfect[tm] like what HE can do. But if you're fine with being subpar... These are just the vague shapes in my head, if you have other potential avenues for toxicity that sparks YOUR interest/joy please feel free to share them in the reblogs, notes, etc!

[purple-iris]

I have connected the dots, get ready for my hottest Star Trek take to date (because it is also Star Wars related) :

Anakin's backstory as shown in the prequels movies is actually so similar to Saavik's story, both shown in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock and the novel The Pandora Principle by Carolyn Clowes that I think said author and biggest contributor to Saavik's story in my opinion should sue Georges Lucas ASAP-

Born and raised on a hellish desertic planet with two suns? check (Tatooine and Hellguard are twining)

Extensive childhood traumas? check (don't think im forgetting about the psychological impact of Anakin being raised in slavery here)

Rescued and then raised by someone becoming their mentor and father figure? check (Spock and Obi-Wan)

Curious and highly intelligent mind, drawn to technology? check (Anakin with ships, Saavik with the tricorder, see where im going?)

Follows into their mentor and teacher's footsteps and join their organisation? check (Jedi order and Starfleet)

Contains a lot of anger and desire for revenge? check

Becomes proficient at flying starships and holds a position of command in a space conflict? check (Need i explain more?)

Thankfully Spock was better suited at raising a child than Obi-Wan because else we were looking at a "becoming the very thing you choose to destroy" aka a Romulan traitor Saavik scenario-WAIT they wanted to do that but didn't! George Lucas I swear to GOD! Stealing even the deleted storylines!!

Everything is Star Trek actually if you think about it long enough, and my girl Saavik was ripped off into Anakin Skywalker. At least that explains why they are both my favourite characters in these two fandoms (I just love them both so much ok-)

[obviouslyelementary]

Can we all agree that Spock/Sam rivalry towards Jim is just incredible? Sam didn’t care about Jim until Spock started to flirt with him and now he’s all ‘protective brother’ and Jim is so ??????

Spock sees it tho and spock won’t let that annoying human get in the way

[izzysarchivedblogs]

I feel so bad for @prcspcr (spock) cause like clint barton is the absolute worse.

man is clinically allergic to authority and orders.

honestly. spock showing such restraint not using the nerve pinch.

considering one of the canon 616 things is first few encounters w/ clint, captain america breaks his bow and punches him. like

[anghraine]

Happy Pride ;)

just some hands

[starberry-cupcake]

'the ultimate computer' aka uncannily precise vision of the future in which starfleet wants to replace jim with ai but spock and bones are not having it

I am going feral at all the times ai is being a menace in this show and how accurate it is to the bs present we're living in

[divineturtle]

Bothers me when I'm reading a fanfic and they make Doctor Leonard "Bones" McCoy just like. A mean asshole? MY Doctor McCoy introduced Spock to baby talk. MY Doctor McCoy bounces on his toes and has a smile bright as the sun. MY Doctor McCoy knocked Kirk *and* Spock out with a hypo to sacrifice himself for them even though the aliens said he was almost for sure going to die, and the other two would probably live. MY Doctor McCoy was like, hey, sure Spock committed mutiny, but do we really gotta arrest him? Yeah he's grumpy sometimes, but have you considered the fact that he's stuck on a ship in Space with two assholes that literally never listen?

I just watched the Abraham Lincoln episode and I stg it's a miracle McCoy isn't actually a huge asshole, because wym "this planet WAS deadly but Abraham Lincoln says it's cool so we're going" "hey, don't do that, you could beam down into lava and literally DIE" "Ugh shut UP McCoy we're following Abraham Lincoln onto the Lava Planet That WAS ENTIRELY LAVA until two minutes ago" dude I'd be swinging at a mfer. Especially if I was their doctor knowing it was going to be my job to sew them back together. They're absolute menaces to him and he still loves them and is willing to die for them every other episode.

And I don't ever want to see another "ahh he hates Spock" when he so obviously does not. In the last episode, he wasn't even sure that Kirk and Janice had swapped bodies and yet again, he was ready to commit mutiny with Spock and Scotty (why does Spock love mutiny? 🤨) He does like to rib Spock and get reactions out of him, but Spock likes to do it to McCoy just as much. He's been around humans his ENTIRE life, his mom is a human, he's half human, "I have no idea what you mean, Doctor, I'm just a simple little logic machine," you cannot convince me it's not a game.

And every time I feel like McCoy is being hurtful for actually no reason, the next scene is Spock taking action because of whatever McCoy had said and allowing himself to tap into that human part of him. He has a way of speaking Spock. It's not always nice but it's a way that gets through. Do you think asking Spock to use his Vulcan powers to permanently alter his friend and captain's memory so he forgets his grief over this chick he fell desperately for and then also she died in the span of like four hours is a great idea? No, he'd probably have some moral or logical issues with that. but just speech at him about love and feelings and stuff, throw something in there about how great it'd be if he could just forget, and he'll do it himself.

ANOTHER THING. When he's an asshole, he apologizes. He's not an asshole often, but when he is, he apologizes. Leonard McCoy is a lot of things, but he's not really a dick.

I think he deserves to be represented for the guy he is. He has SO many nice and good moments, he's just subtle about them. Remember when Kirk was like, "Bones, why didn't you tell me she was blind?" And he was like, "Idk Jim maybe because that'd be rude? Have you considered it's not your business?" REAL. Honestly, real.

This is a much longer rant than I meant for it to be and somehow I still have more I could say so imma cut myself off right here ❤️ If you read all that, thanks, you're just as weird as I am, even if you don't agree with my lil character analysis. If you didn't read all that, then you're not reading this ✨️

[blanc-ci]

lil Drabble because I thought of the dialogue and it was too lengthy to turn into a comic

—

McCoy waved a hand in the air flippantly, “You and your Vulcan Jesus”

“I believe Surak would be more akin to your Terran legend of Buddha, Doctor.”

“Course he would.”

McCoy had the face he often wore when he was gearing up to ‘dive headlong’ into a heated, drawn-out debate. Though before the man could do more than take a cursory breath, their captain chirped in with commentary of his own.

“Because Buddha and Surak were both real living people, right? Not a literary device that could perform extravagant miracles and come back from the dead.”

Literary device seems reductive, though not entirely inaccurate, Spock would’ve said as much if McCoy had not cut in ahead of him, as is also his wont,

“didn’t Surak actually get resurrected though? With that Katra transference or whatever?”

Spock’s brow shot into his hairline, “You know the teachings and legends of Surak, Doctor? I admit that is shocking.”

“Shocking,��� the man muttered before pointing an aggrieved finger at him, “Call it professional curiosity, you pointy-eared menace. Cant be culturally insensitive around my Vulcan First Officer now can I?”

Jim barked a laugh while Spock stood, stunned, trying his best to process the incongruity of “pointy eared menace” and “culturally insensitive” being said within the same breath.

[victoriousscarf]

#bones' facade of being the normal sane one is so good that it regularly fools large numbers of viewers#that man has canonically tried to die for spock and kirk probably more than either of the two of them have#and yet so many let him off the hook#do not! he is a self-sacrificing menace!

Them: Describe Star Trek: The Original Series in three images.

Me:

[ill-kidnap-all-the-stars]

Guys, guys it's happening, I finally got to the tos/ds9 crossover episode!!!!! When I tell you this has been on my mind for longer than I have been watching star trek (thank you Sheldon Cooper) I am not joking

The time cops going “ugh not Kirk, he was a menace with his umpteen billion infractions” I'm screaming

THE OG UNIFORMS AND THE 60S HAIR

did they just go and get the og set out of storage or did they have to rebuild the whole thing

O'Brian and Bashir getting stuck in the lift I'm wheezing

CHEKOV AND UHURA SHOPPING I MISSED THEM

Lmao Odo just creeping in the background as she gets her tribble

I can't believe I missed the pointy 60s sideburns bUT I DID

Odo playing with the tribble while Worf is restraining himself from tearing it apart I can't

TRIBBLES WERE MORTAL ENEMIES OF THE KLINGONS IM SCREAMING

Not Bashir having a faff over maybe being his own great grandfather

WHEN WE FIRST SEE KIRK AND SPOCK THEYRE WALKING IN LOCK STEP THEY REALLY WANTED TO ESTABLISH THE HOMOEROTICISM

I wondered what they were gonna do about Klingon forehead ridges and they really just went “we're not telling”

THEY STUCK O'BRIAN AND BASHIR IN THE MIDDLE OF KIRK'S QUESTIONING

A bomb in a tribble that's so unhinged wtf

NOT DAX GETTING SPOCK'S TRIBBLE CALCULATIONS

I'm loving how they just put the ds9 group in the background of the original shots okay

“no consequences to the time travel” cuts to scene of tribble infestation

Every time I watch one of the other series, there'll be an episode about halfway through that makes me miss tos so much I go back and rewatch the whole thing. With tng it was the Spock “defecting” to Romulus thing and I think it might be this one for ds9

[anghraine]

Further contemplated the femslash Spirk concept while I was going to sleep, inevitably, and concluded:

I am perfectly aware this has been done before in the last, you know, nearly 60 years of this ship's towering fandom influence; I've definitely seen art and cosplay. However, I'm deliberately insulating myself from reading any other versions until the finer details are more nailed down in my own head.

McCoy is definitely still a man (specifically DeForest Kelley c. TOS) because it only later occurred to me that 1) thematically, I definitely prefer this trio as a mixed gender group and 2) the advocate for emotion and instinct and human warmth being a male doctor and the voice of logic and discipline being a woman and technically his superior pleases me greatly. I also like the McCoy-Kirk brotp as a male-female friendship that is intense, complex, and 100% platonic.

I'm still figuring out how Kirk being repeatedly menaced by the woman of the week would pan out with f!Kirk. With m!Kirk it feels like the show pushes him having an irresistible appeal to women in general (regardless of the woman's morality) that is where this ultimately comes from, but he's got a lot of Odysseus tropes to him as a character that make his femme fatale allure and willingness to use it as a tool more interesting than as the inevitable fate of a female space captain. Also, even in a femslash context, it feels homophobic for it to always be women sexually harassing f!Kirk.

Kirk's going to be Jessica instead of my original idea of Deborah. I was thinking of what would be a sturdy, ordinary name in the Midwest comparable to James that would also abbreviate conveniently to a common short form (Jim / Deb / Jess). I wanted the shortened version to be something that could carry the emotional weight of Spock's very occasional "Jim" without feeling that the nickname itself is more significant than Jim is for a dude from Iowa. I also wanted to avoid the -y/-ie endings of so many English nicknames (sorry, Francophones). Deb seemed to work well enough, except I'd forgotten that I have a considerably older family friend who not only uses Deb (and is named Deborah) but happens to have very similar coloring and background to young Shatner. As I was plotting the femslash, the association with her felt increasingly weird and uncomfortable, so I switched to Jessica (chosen for reasons largely unrelated to it also beginning with J, but that helps!).

Does Jessica Kirk wear the miniskirt and go-go boots while issuing non-negotiable orders from her captain's chair? Definitely.

[pavel-chekov-appreciator]

I’m sure this au or something like it already exists but I can’t stop thinking about a modern!human!AU that’s just Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, Chekov, Uhura, and Scotty as college friends who all cram into Jim’s shitty van for a cross-country road trip during summer break.

They have a vague itinerary to hit up everyone with family in the states’s hometowns, but other than that they’re just exploring. Seeking out new life and new civilizations weird tourist traps and cool museums. They’re all nerds. They visit a lot of museums.

The van is of course nicknamed The Enterprise. It is also definitely only still running and in one piece because of Scotty. They frequently have to pull over for him to tinker with something to get them running smoothly again. He loves it.

Chekov is the designated navigator because the first time they drive through a dead zone and no one’s phones could pull up a map he was the first one to pull out and utilize the paper map.

Sulu of course is the best driver in their group. He also absolutely brought a nerf gun with him and is an absolute menace with it.

Despite owning the van Kirk is actually a terrible driver. He is the one who planned this whole thing though. Lovingly referred to as “Captain” for taking on the default leadership role most of the time and being very good at big picture planning.

Spock is better at detail oriented tasks though, and is more or less still second in command-he’s the one making sure they don’t run out of gas and keep more or less on schedule. When they reach his hometown he realizes that he definitely forgot to tell any of his friends that he had siblings. It’s hilariously awkward.

Uhura has an uncanny knack for making friendly small talk with anyone they meet, and finds a lot of really interesting niche points of interest for them to check out by chatting with locals at restaurants and gas stations.

And as usual Bones is making sure no one dies of their own stupidity. He’s got the first aid kit with him at all times because he knows these people.

[weirdlynotspecific]

⭐Holiday Headcanons⭐

Kirk was raised in a traditionally Jewish home and McCoy was raised in a traditionally Christian home so the holidays get a bit hectic. Spock knows about both Christmas and Hanukkah from his mother, but didn't get to celebrate either until he was aboard the enterprise.

McCoy makes sure to put a small tree up in his room with little handmade ornaments from Joanna. He makes it a priority to call her Christmas day and watch her open all her presents.

Kirk LOVES gift giving. He showers Spock and McCoy with gifts for every day of Hanukkah and loves watching them open their presents.

McCoy and Uhura spend all of Christmas eve making cookies for everyone. And I mean everyone. All 400+ crew members receive cookies.

The holiday party is insane. Scotty spikes the punch, Sulu and Chekov debate the origin of Christmas (Chekov claims it started in Russia), and Spock gets drunk off his ass on chocolate. He denies it afterwards of course.

Kirk hangs up mistletoe everywhere because he's a menace. He absolutely abuses it too, much to the amusement and disappointment of Spock and McCoy.

Spock finds all his vulcan incense is replaced with peppermint smelling incense (courtesy of Jim). He can't find it in himself to be annoyed. His normal incense is returned by January 1st.

Kirk adores Christmas songs. You best believe this dramatic bitch is singing along with Mariah Carey all of December and it drives Bones CRAZY.

Scotty built a giant train to go around one of the observation desks (he said a small train going around a tree was unoriginal and anyone could do that).

Bones affectionately calls Spock some variation of a Grinch or a Scrooge the entirety of December.