#sun and moon are in place of ekko

[buzzybee3]

I was just given the most beautiful of ideas

Now let’s just hope I can follow through….

[thebigqueer]

"until the tears dry" - Caitvi - One-Shot

Summary: Caitlyn & Vi talk about their (mostly Vi's) emotional and mental state after losing most of her family. It's set just a few days after season 2 ends, and for context, Caitlyn hasn't found Jinx's bomb yet. (tw for blood mention) Notes: TW for blood mention & description. Word Count: 7486 Read on AO3

Every step that Caitlyn takes through her library feels cold. She can almost feel every molecule of her body ringing at the impact of the marble underneath her feet, and the closer she gets to the balcony door, the more her skin hums uncomfortably. 

She’s been looking all over the house for Vi. On any other day, she wouldn’t have been as worried; Vi usually went off to do her own thing while Caitlyn attended to whatever required her attention that day. Oftentimes she’d go back to the Undercity to run errands and help rebuild, usually with Ekko and the Firelights. 

But after last night, Caitlyn’s entire body has been buzzing with anxiety. It’s only gotten worse the further she’s looked into the house, with still no sign of Vi. 

When she finally arrives at the balcony door in the library - the last place she hasn’t checked - a wave of relief cools Caitlyn’s skin. Vi’s sitting on the ground, her back and head leaning against one of the tables, absentmindedly playing with the fabric of the sling of her broken arm as she watches the sun setting over Piltover.

For a brief second, Caitlyn’s heart swells. She looks peaceful here, facing the rest of the world, watching it go on under her feet. But that warmth quickly gives way to something colder when she remembers why Vi is even out here, alone and unbothered. 

Caitlyn’s nerves curl at the thought of last night. She remembers the feverish heat of Vi’s skin as she trembled through a nightmare, the sweat prickling at the edges of her scalp in the moonlight. She remembers the way she jolted awake, her breathing ragged and choked, as if someone had tried stealing it in her dreams. Caitlyn tried asking what happened, but Vi only shook her head and quivered under the covers as she tried to catch her breath. Eventually Caitlyn realized she didn’t want to talk about it, so she asked if she could hold her instead, and even though Vi let her, she refused to face her. She just continued crying, her body curled on itself, barely warming under Caitlyn’s embrace. 

Caitlyn tried to brush her tears away, but they came faster than she could stop them. 

Vi waking up to nightmares wasn’t the strange part. Caitlyn’s learned that it’s something that happens often, dating all the way back to when Vi spent those few nights at her house after her mother died. She’s gotten used to hearing Vi’s mumbling and trembling in the past week since the battle. But usually Vi would calm down after taking a walk and fall back asleep.

Last night was different - it was like she was afraid to even stand up. She just shivered under the covers, her eyes as wide and vacant as the moon as she stared blankly up at the ceiling, like she was watching a dream even awake.  

What concerned Caitlyn even more, though, was the morning. Caitlyn moved as quietly as she could, which she usually didn’t have to do; Vi would get up with her, start getting ready for her own day, and they’d hold their small talk to keep each other company. But this morning, after Caitlyn stood up, she could feel Vi’s eyes on her as she laid in bed. She didn’t say anything, though, only watched Caitlyn as if she were a ghost walking around the room. Caitlyn got the sense it was best if she didn’t say anything, afraid it might disturb the peace. 

But the unusual quietness eventually got to her, and she didn’t want to leave the house without at least acknowledging it. After getting dressed, she leaned against the doorframe of her bedroom. 

“Vi?” she asked quietly, despising the way the room practically echoed with her voice. It felt too loud, too demanding in the silence. “Are you alright?”

Vi’s back faced the window now, her eyes - baggy and slightly red - trained on her hand twitching in front of her. At Caitlyn’s voice, she dragged her gaze to hers, and Caitlyn had to fight not to suck in a breath. The weight of her stare felt like needles against Caitlyn’s skin - it was so devoid of emotion, stuck in some sort of casing that Caitlyn couldn’t crack open. 

Vi shrugged. And then, before Caitlyn could say anything, she shook her head. 

“Would you like to talk about last night?” Caitlyn asked, but she could feel her shoulders hiking up with every syllable. She already knew the answer to the question.

Vi shook her head again, and when she spoke, Caitlyn genuinely flinched; her voice sounded so hoarse, so raspy, it reminded her almost of Jinx for a split second. “Not right now,” she muttered. 

“Okay.” Caitlyn hesitated, then added, “I’m going to the councilor’s building after breakfast.” 

Vi nodded. 

Caitlyn took a deep, shuddering breath, if only to fill the silence between them. She and Vi had only been living together for a week at this point, but Caitlyn had gotten used to her bustling energy in the morning. This silence felt lethal in comparison.

“I can stay back, though,” Caitlyn offered, almost hopefully. “If you need me to.” 

Vi stayed still for a moment, and her eyebrows rose in what Caitlyn was hoping was consideration. But then she said, in a bit of a stronger voice now, “I think I just need to be alone.” 

The words were shrapnel to Caitlyn’s heart, and she had to fight to not let her face fall. If Vi noticed anything shift in her features, she didn’t say anything; only watched Caitlyn with something a little more apprehensive in her eyes. 

Caitlyn knew she wasn’t saying it to hurt her. In fact, it wasn’t about her at all, so she tried not to let the words sting. But still, she couldn’t help the heavy wavering in her voice as she said, “I can do that.” 

She turned to open the door, her breathing getting a little heavier, and she could feel tears pressing up against her throat - unnecessary tears, she knew, yet there nonetheless. But just before she slipped out, Vi called, “Cait?”

She stopped and turned expectantly, trying to swallow the pain. 

“No hard feelings,” Vi said, and now a bit of emotion flickered in her face again, like color returning to her skin. Her eyebrows were slightly furrowed, a slight, concerned tilt in her mouth. “I just…” 

Caitlyn shook her head and tried for a smile, though it felt too heavy on her lips. “It’s alright, Vi. I understand.” She paused, then added, “When you’re ready, I’m here.” 

Vi nodded, and then a slight smile tilted at her own lips.“Good luck talking to those prissy councilors.” 

The pain in Caitlyn’s throat eased a little. She scoffed as she slipped out into the hallway. “Thanks,” she said. “I’ll need all the luck I can get.” 

The conversation left Caitlyn feeling a little lighter on her feet, but still, her concern for Vi was a bullet lodged in her head the entire day. Even as she tried to listen attentively to the concerns of the remaining councilors - today’s argument was about who to appoint in the new, vacant seats - all she could think about was Vi.

When Caitlyn got home, she found her father sitting in the living room and asked if he’d checked up on her. He only looked at her in bewilderment and spread his hands out. “She never came down to eat,” he said, brows furrowing. “I haven’t seen her all day. I tried knocking on your door, but there was no answer. I figured she must have gone out for a bit.” 

On any other day, that wouldn’t have been much of a surprise. But today, her father’s words made the anxiety in Caitlyn’s chest grow sharper, and she immediately set on looking for Vi somewhere in the house. 

The familiar ache of tears pushed up against Caitlyn’s throat the more she looked around, only to find empty room after empty room. What if she left for good? Caitlyn wondered. Maybe spending a week with Caitlyn was enough to send her away. And she wouldn’t have been surprised; Vi looked like a lost child in the Kiramman mansion, her eyes wide and confused as she took everything in. Sure, it seemed like she’d been getting more comfortable with all the space around her, but Caitlyn knew how uncomfortable it made Vi. Everything in this house was just a reminder of all the things that she never had growing up - what people in the Undercity still don’t have. 

The thought of Vi leaving without a word was a fear that Caitlyn had grown accustomed to in just the short time they’ve been together, and the more she looked around the house, the more she could feel her chest unraveling, like the tissue was threatening to break apart. 

So the sight of Vi now, sprawled on the balcony floor, feels like a rush of cool air against Caitlyn’s skin. But seeing her look so dejectedly to the skyline, as if she’s looking for something, waiting for something, makes that relief very thin. 

Caitlyn takes a deep breath and places a hand against the window. Then she taps her finger gently.

Vi’s head turns slowly at the noise, and when she finds Caitlyn there, Caitlyn’s surprised to see how dazed her eyes look - as if she’s waking up from another dream. Caitlyn can’t help the concern that tilts at her mouth, and Vi must clearly see it, because her shoulder rolls uncomfortably. 

Caitlyn keeps her gaze on Vi for a second, and when Vi tips her head, Caitlyn takes that as her permission to open the door. The cool evening air wraps around Caitlyn as she opens it, and she shivers in her cardigan. 

“Do you mind if I come out?” she asks. “I don’t want to impose if…”

She lets her words trail. Her earlier anxiety must have winded her of any energy, because she can’t find it in her to finish the thought. She only watches as Vi’s brows furrow in what Caitlyn assumes to be consideration. Her heartbeat picks up nervously, and she’s mentally preparing to leave again, but then a small smile tilts at Vi’s lips, and Caitlyn’s heart unclenches in relief.

“Nah,” Vi says. “I’ve been alone for too long today.”

Caitlyn throws a gentle, hesitant smile at Vi. She steps out, and the chilled marble of the floor of the balcony feels even more of a shock to Caitlyn’s bare feet. She can almost feel the dust pressing against her toes, and she grimaces. As she pads closer, she glances around at the empty chairs, and her smile turns slightly amused. “All these places to sit and you chose the floor?”

Vi smiles back a little wider, and Caitlyn’s grateful to see the ease in it now. “Your chairs are too fluffy and cushiony. Feels weird on my ass.” 

Caitlyn laughs a little and settles beside Vi on the ground. She doesn’t press in too close, though; only enough that their shoulders brush. 

Vi keeps her gaze on Caitlyn, but now she brings her knees to her chest and wraps her good arm around them, while her broken arm rests between her chest and thighs. Caitlyn leans back on her arms and crosses her legs in front of her, and for a moment, they wallow in the silence that blankets over them as Caitlyn prepares herself for the conversation hanging over them. The only sound is the occasional bird as it chirps away into the night. 

Caitlyn takes a deep breath. Then, as a gentle leeway, she asks, “How was your day?”

Vi shrugs, but a new hollowness drills through her gray eyes, and an uncomfortable tingle crawls up Caitlyn's spine. Vi peels her gaze away and lets it stick to something on the floor. “Restless,” she offers. “Did a lot of wandering around today. Tried to clear my head.”

Caitlyn hums. “Did it work?”

Vi shrugs. 

When Vi doesn’t say more, Caitlyn figures this might be as good a time as any. “Should we… talk about last night?”

Vi’s eyes tighten shut at her words, and Caitlyn immediately regrets asking. Vi’s head sinks into her arm, and Caitlyn’s about to retrace her steps, tell her that it’s perfectly fine if she doesn’t want to, but then she nods into her elbow. Slowly, she lifts her head and rubs the heels of her hand between her eyebrows, as if trying to clear away whatever hesitation she has. 

She blinks a few times, then lets her legs stretch out in front of her again and starts playing with her sling. She still doesn’t meet Caitlyn’s eyes, but she rolls her shoulder, as if trying to take out the kinks in her body before getting herself ready to work. 

Caitlyn holds her breath. 

Vi releases a long sigh. When she speaks again, her voice sounds thick, like her tongue is too big for her mouth. “There’s this… nightmare I’ve kept having over the years,” she murmurs, almost nervously. 

Vi falls quiet again. Caitlyn tips her head patiently. 

When Vi looks back at Caitlyn and sees her waiting, she lets go of a breath, as if almost relieved to see Caitlyn’s still here. 

“It’s the night I left my sister,” she mutters, and Caitlyn can’t help noticing the darkness of her eyes now, their gray turned into shadows as she surges into her memory. “At that moment, I was really angry. I mean, my dad just died, you know? And the rest of my family, too. And… I’d just found out Jinx - Powder - came after I told her not to, and she was the reason that the building exploded, and… I got so angry.” Vi winces. “So I slapped her, and she fell over. Then I grabbed her face in my hand, and I just… started squeezing really hard.” Her eyes turn back on Caitlyn, and her pupils swell pleadingly, as if begging Caitlyn for understanding. “I was so angry. I didn’t realize how much it must have actually hurt her. And it must have been really hard, because her nose started… bleeding.” Vi’s eyes close shut again. A painful frown pinches her brows as she turns her head away. “And then… I called her a fucking jinx.”

Caitlyn’s heart shudders at the way Vi’s voice suddenly hitches. The pain in her words feels so jagged, so real, that it makes her ribs ring in desperation. She wants to reach out, to touch Vi, but that might be a bad idea. She seems too deeply engorged in her memory, like she’s physically living in the moment again. Caitlyn gets the sense that if she were to touch her, Vi might take it as pity, and she knows she wouldn’t like that. So she keeps her hand to herself.

With a start, she realizes that, in Vi’s eyes, this must have been the moment to start it all. 

“In my nightmares,” Vi continues, “when I squeeze her face, it starts with a little bit of blood. But then it gets all over my fingers, and I try taking my hand away, but I just can’t move it. It’s like my fingers are permanently glued to her face. And the blood keeps coming, faster and thicker, and it practically gushes all over my arm, and meanwhile Powder’s still screaming and crying, and I’m trying to let go but I just can’t. My hand’s just stuck there, squeezing harder and harder. And then eventually she gets really pale and her eyes start fluttering, and I’m screaming that I’m sorry, that I need her to stay with me, but… she passes out. And only then, only when she’s passed out, I can move my hand again, but by then… it’s too late.” Vi runs a hand through her hair and sinks her head into her arm again. “There’s a whole pool of blood beneath us, and Powder’s dead in my arms.” 

Caitlyn feels her brows furrowing into a frown. She’s trying to fish for words, anything to make Vi feel better, or, at the very least, express her sympathy, but nothing comes to mind. What can she even say to a description like that?

But Vi isn’t done. After a moment, she huffs and lifts her head again, and a tear glistens off the bridge of her nose. “That dream’s changed over the years,” she mutters, and her shoulders hunch to her ears. “After that night at the temple, when I almost killed her, the dream got worse. It would start with Powder’s face in my hand, and the blood would come down like always, and I wouldn’t be able to move my hand. But then, after I’d call her a jinx, that word just… it would just keep echoing around us, louder and louder each time, and I’d get so sick of hearing my voice. I’d hear myself saying stop, but the ‘jinx’ would just keep fucking going. And Powder would be suffocating in my hand, blood still fucking gushing out of her nose, but just before she’d pass out…” Vi closes her eyes again. “Her face would become Jinx’s. And she’d say…” - a breath yanks through her teeth - “she’d say, ‘It had to be you.’ And then she’d fall into me, dead, and when I’d raise her face, it would become Powder’s again.”

Caitlyn closes her eyes. She doesn’t know much about what Jinx looked like as a child, but she tries to imagine it - maybe shorter hair, same pigtail braids? Same wide, babyish eyes that Caitlyn had grown to hate looking for. What color would they have been, without the shimmer? Vi’s gray ones? Caitlyn tries to put them on Jinx, but she just can’t imagine it. She doesn’t remember what color they were when she first met Jinx.

She can’t remember them as anything but raging violet. 

The thought makes Caitlyn’s skin prickle with guilt. Vi has only ever seen her as the little sister she left behind all those years ago, while Caitlyn’s only ever known Jinx as the broken girl she became. 

Vi’s voice swims through Caitlyn’s ears again, and her thoughts come racing back to focus as she listens. Now Vi’s leaning against the table again, legs stretched out ahead of her as she lets her head fall back, eyes trained on the darkening skies. Her throat bobs as she swallows, then continues. 

“Last night was different,” she says. “Last night, Powder’s face still became Jinx’s, but my voice saying ‘jinx’ suddenly… stopped. It rang for a little bit, but then it stopped. Jinx’s nose was still bleeding, but this time I could finally move my hand, so I did. And I reached for her, immediately. I wanted to hug her, to hold her in my arms and tell her how sorry I was for hurting her. But the second I let go, a massive glowing hole opened up underneath us, and I tried to scoot back, but Jinx….” Vi’s breath cracks, and she throws her good hand to her eyes. “All I could do was watch as she fell.”

The air around them ripples at Vi’s words, and Caitlyn gets the sense this might be the last of the dream that she speaks about. Caitlyn knows she should say something, to keep the silence at bay, but every time she tries to say something - anything - the words die in her throat. All she can think to do is put her hand on Vi’s back, to tell her what she can’t say. Vi barely flinches at her touch, and it makes Caitlyn’s chest ache; she looks so lost in her own world, so unaware of the present. 

The chill of the evening - now growing into a darker blue as night approaches - settles over them, and Caitlyn draws her sweater tighter over herself. She glances at Vi, who’s now rubbing her temples with a forefinger and thumb and blinking rapidly, and Caitlyn’s skin prickles with more goosebumps at the sight of her in only a tank top and sweatpants. 

“Are you cold?” she whispers. Then she silently curses herself. After everything Vi just told her, this is the best she could come up with?

Vi glances at her, and her eyes flicker as if she’s only now realizing Caitlyn’s still here. She shrugs and draws her knees to her chest again, leans her chin against her arms, and Caitlyn takes this moment to peel her sweater off and wrap it over Vi’s shoulders instead. 

She runs her hand over her back, brushes it repeatedly over the rows of her spine as she looks for something to say. She knows Vi can tell she’s nervous; she keeps glancing back at Caitlyn every time even a breath comes out, but her eyes are hollow shells, watching Caitlyn as if she’s watching her through a glass. 

“I’m sorry, Vi,” Caitlyn musters, and the very words exhaust her as they come out, like the dying puffs of an engine. “I… I know I’ve said this a million times now, but I am. About your sister, your family. About all of it. The things you had to go through.” 

Vi shrugs. “You weren’t the one who left your sister to a power-hungry druglord. That wasn’t your fault.” 

That’s also something Caitlyn’s heard a million times in just the past few days. Vi’s dejectedness, her guilt over every possible thing. Her apologies for not being by Caitlyn’s side immediately after the battle; her regret at not jumping to the other ledge when Jinx told her to; her anguish at seeing her sister fall. Her relentless pleas that It should have been me. 

And it makes Caitlyn’s heart ache, knowing just how much pain Vi’s been through. How many people she’s lost. She still doesn’t know all of Vi’s story, and maybe that’s something that will come along with time, but Vi’s guilt is written all over her body, in the bruises and cuts still healing, in the quiet way she holds herself these days. She’s not the fiery, adamant girl she met in the prison all those months ago; it’s like the fire’s just a flicker glowing in the shadows of her soul, waiting to be reignited. 

But Caitlyn doesn’t know how to reignite it. If Vi even wants to. Or if Vi’s even supposed to.  

“I just… don’t really know what else to say,” Caitlyn says, finally. She shrugs hopelessly. “I know I keep saying it, but you can’t blame yourself for everything. You didn’t know what would happen when you left your sister. You aren’t responsible for all of it.” Caitlyn closes her good eye as a new irritation prickles at her skin - irritation with herself for not being able to say anything else, for not being able to offer more. “Everything I say now just feels repetitive, but know that I genuinely mean all of it, Vi.”

“I know you mean it, Cait.” Caitlyn opens her eye at her name and finds Vi looking at her. Her eyes are soft, sad. “And I appreciate you trying to comfort me.” She sighs heavily. “It��s just… I can’t stop thinking about how different things would’ve been if I’d just never left her. If I’d protected her like my father asked me to.”

Caitlyn looks at her, and all of a sudden, a new ache of tears pushes against her throat. She tries to swallow it away, but it just hurts worse. She leans her head against Vi’s shoulder and sighs. “I know.” She revels in the way Vi’s shoulder brushes under her lips as she speaks, and a part of her wishes she could just kiss all her thoughts and apologies and comfort into Vi’s skin. That would certainly be easier, but she doesn’t think that’s what Vi needs right now. She needs something more than symbols; she needs something more promising. “I just… don’t know what else to say, to help you feel…”

Feel… what? Not “normal.” Normal implies there’s a way to forget the things she’s gone through, the things they’ve both gone through. Normal implies there was a stagnant way to be before this, and Caitlyn knows without a doubt that nothing in Vi’s life has ever been stagnant. 

Caitlyn frowns in thought, and after a moment, the words come to her. “Feel more human.” Because that is what Vi is. She’s human. Every mistake she’s made, it’s all human mistakes.

A warmth spills into her palm, and she looks down to see Vi holding her hand. A surprised breath pulls in through Caitlyn’s teeth, and when she looks up, she finds Vi’s eyes glistening as tears glaze over them, but there’s a slight smile in her lips. “You don’t have to say anything,” Vi says. “Thank you, Cait, for trying to comfort me. But, honestly, I think you’ve expended all the words you need to. I just… I think it’s a me issue.” Vi looks away. “I don’t think it’s going to go away soon - ever, to be honest. I think I just need time to live with the guilt.”

Caitlyn nods slowly. She looks out at the city around them, watches as more lights flicker on to fight the darkness of a night. And beyond that, she can see the faint greenish glow of the Undercity, its own towers reaching up desperately.

How shocking it is to see the skyline now, knowing that just a few days ago, they were cleaning blood off the streets from the battle. A battle sparked at Caitlyn’s own ignorance and naiveté. 

“I can understand that.” Caitlyn flicks her eyebrow, and despite herself, an amused huff escapes her. “I suppose we have more time now than we’ve ever had.” 

“Yeah.” Vi looks out, too. “I guess we do.”

Another silence falls over them, and this one feels a little lighter, a little warmer than the chill around them. Vi leans her head against Caitlyn’s shoulder, and for a brief second, it hits Caitlyn that Vi’s initiating this - the touching, the leaning. She smiles softly to herself. 

But as they sit in this silence, gaze into the night bleeding into the sky, as Caitlyn basks in Vi’s warmth, she finds her thoughts tumbling back to her dream. About how little she knows about Vi, and how little she knows about her sister. Caitlyn can’t shake the guilt she feels, knowing there is nothing for her to look back on Jinx - Powder. 

She doesn’t think she could ever forgive Jinx for what she did to her mother. She doesn’t know the girl that Vi does. And it’s a little difficult for her to match that image of a younger sister - a girl that Vi talks about with so much love - to that of the girl who kidnapped Caitlyn and killed her mother. But at the same time, the loss of Jinx also weighs on Caitlyn’s chest, on behalf of Vi. For the sister she’ll never get to meet. 

Even after everything, Vi holds so much love for her. So much so, in fact, that she was willing to risk Caitlyn’s own trust in return for her sister just a few weeks ago. 

Caitlyn isn’t angry about that anymore. When Vi stormed her way to Jinx’s cell, Caitlyn had made peace with the fact that there was a good chance Vi was going to leave with her sister, that she might never get to see Vi again. At that point, she’d realized that having Jinx in a cell - something she’d been hoping so long for - didn’t actually help her feel better about her mother. If anything, it only made her feel worse. Because she knew her mother wouldn’t have wanted this - having the Undercity set to shambles all in search for one teenage girl. Her mother wouldn’t have liked to see the person she’d become, all in the name of love and grief. 

Not only that, but seeing Vi with her family for that briefest moment at the commune made Caitlyn realize just how far she was willing to go for them. And despite her anger at Vi’s distrust, the sight made her feel sick with regret, more than anything else. She realized, at that moment, just what she was robbing by chasing after Jinx. By looking out for her own family, she was risking another. Risking several more. 

But perhaps what slapped Caitlyn the most was what Jinx had told her when she went to visit her in her cell. I didn’t know your mom was there. 

How idiotic Caitlyn felt. Here she was, spending all her time and energy searching for Jinx, only to find out her mother was just Jinx’s lucky fucking shot. If not her mother, it would have been someone else. Not that it would have made the event any better, but ever since that day, she’s kept herself awake wondering how things would have been different if it hadn't been her mother. Would she have had nearly the same emotional reaction? Would she have wanted to hunt Jinx down with the same fervor? 

Or would she have been more compassionate of Jinx? Would she have been able to see the little sister Vi talked so fondly of?  

So Caitlyn would have understood if Vi left with Jinx that night before the war. Had even prepared herself for that loss. Vi was going to choose her family until the very end, and that was something Caitlyn had come to peace with. 

Which is why it shocked her when she found Vi locked in that cell instead, and no sign of Jinx. 

Caitlyn sighs now as she thinks about all of it, and Vi looks at her. Her eyebrow raises in question, and Caitlyn turns to her, her own brows cowering nervously over her forehead.

Vi nudges her questioningly.

Caitlyn sighs. “Can I ask you something?”

Vi nods, but now her brows pinch nervously.

Caitlyn hesitates. Then, with great effort, she removes her hand from Vi’s back. She’s not sure why, but she doesn’t want to be touching Vi as she asks. Some part of her thinks it might influence her answer, even though she doubts that. 

Caitlyn takes a deep breath, then lets it out. “That day you went to get Jinx from her cell,” Caitlyn starts. Her voice catches in her throat, and she tries to clear it. “If she hadn’t left… would you have run away with her?”

Vi looks at Caitlyn for a moment, her gray eyes like icicles, and mixed with the new chilled breeze that flits past, Caitlyn’s face stings under them. There’s a hardened glaze in them, like she’s trying to read Caitlyn through some sort of one-sided glass.

Finally, Vi speaks, but she averts her eyes from Caitlyn, and Caitlyn doesn’t miss the way her fingers clench in her lap. “I didn’t go to run away with her,” she says cautiously. “I went to ask her to join us.”

Caitlyn nods, but her fingers scrunch together on the ground. That’s not exactly what she’s asking, and she knows Vi knows that, if the slowness in her words says anything.

“But if she offered to run away,” Catlyn says, more deliberate now, “to just be together, would you have gone with her?” Would you have left your home on the brink of crumbling for the chance to forget your past? 

Vi’s quiet now, and she turns her gaze back out, towards the warm glow of the cities as they brighten into the night. Her jaw clenches as she tries to bring her thoughts together, and with every passing second, Caitlyn’s lungs grow tighter.

Then Vi sighs heavily. “You’re asking that as if there weren’t other things to consider, like the fact that there was literally a war on our front step.” She tilts her head, and her hair falls into her eyes as she considers her answer. “I don’t know. I think the war kind of changed my perspective a bit. I wasn’t going to just leave my home when it needed me most. But… I guess, in a perfect world where we didn’t have to care about a war…” Vi huffs humorlessly. “Actually, in a perfect world, it would’ve always been me and Powder.” Then she meets Caitlyn’s eyes, and Caitlyn’s heart aches at the guilt hardening over them. “But otherwise… yeah, given the chance, I would have left with her.” 

Even though it was a truth Caitlyn had been expecting, her next breath still feels like a knife being drawn out of her chest.

Vi must see the anguish in Caitlyn’s eyes, because she speaks again, and this time Caitlyn meets her gaze. There’s pain there, but there’s a certain vulnerability, too; she looks the rawest Caitlyn has ever seen her. “I wouldn’t have told you this if I didn’t think you couldn’t handle it, Cait,” Vi says softly. 

Caitlyn takes another deep breath and closes her good eye, then nods slowly. “I know,” she whispers. “I think I just needed to hear you say it.” 

Silence settles over them again, but this one feels cold, almost acidic. It burns Caitlyn’s skin, and she opens her eye to scratch her arms. When she looks over at Vi, she finds her looking down at her feet, fresh tears cowering at the corners of her eyes, like new blood emerging after picking at an old scab. 

“Would you have lied to me if you thought I couldn’t handle it?” asks Caitlyn. 

Vi looks at her now. She waits a moment before responding. “No,” she decides. “I would’ve been honest with you. But I would’ve felt a lot worse about telling you.”

Caitlyn nods, but now the ache of tears that bobbed in her throat earlier starts climbing up into her head, into the back of her head. And then her vision turns blurry, and she feels something warm slip out of the corner of her eye, and after that it’s like a dam has been broken - her tears just keep falling, warm and itchy against her face but cold on her bare hands as she tries to wipe them away. Her breath hitches once, then again, and she can feel Vi’s eyes drilling into her. Even though Caitlyn won’t look her in the face, she can feel her guilt burning a hole through her, and she wishes Vi would look away.

But she can’t help the tears. She knew the truth Vi was going to admit to her. She understood it, even. If anything, Vi deserved to be with her remaining family. But now that she’s heard it, it makes the reality of that truth she knew so much harsher. 

“Cait-” Vi starts, but her voice - brimming with guilt, with anguish - is too much for Caitlyn. The last thing she wants is for Vi to feel guilty over her. She doesn’t deserve it. 

Caitlyn shakes her head and holds a hand out to Vi, pressing her face into her other, trying to push the tears back in. “No,” she says. “You’re going to apologize. Don’t, Vi. I would have done the same in your position.” Her breath hitches, and her stomach burns with anger; she hates how she must look right now to Vi. She can already feel Vi’s guilt echoing in waves off her body, stinging against her own skin. “I just… I just need a minute to live with that. That there’s a possibility where I would have lost you for good.” 

Caitlyn knows, in truth, that she would have eventually learned to live with Vi’s loss. Sure, it would have hurt, but dealing with Vi’s decision to leave would have been a walk in the park compared to the things they’ve had to go through just to be together. It would have stung, but it would’ve only left a scar, not a festering wound. 

But now, knowing the kinds of sacrifices they’ve made to end up at this point, the kinds of sacrifices Vi’s made to end up here now, she knows that their wounds are going to take a long time to heal. Vi’s might bleed for years. 

For a few heavy moments, the only sound is of Caitlyn’s jagged breathing as she tries to reign in her tears, along with Vi’s own intermittent sniffling, which only causes Caitlyn’s chest to ache more. She can’t even bear the thought of looking at Vi right now - she doesn’t want to see her tears, the guilt etched into her face, the unnecessary guilt. Vi shouldn’t have to feel guilty for choosing her own happiness. 

“Cait,” Vi says again, but this time it’s softer, just barely above a whisper, pleading. So Caitlyn looks up, finally, to meet Vi’s eyes, and she finds Vi chewing on her bottom lip, a pinch in her brows. Guilt is in fact written on her face, but Caitlyn’s relieved to see that there’s something more determined in her features that overpowers it. 

“There’s no point asking about the what-ifs,” Vi says. “Trust me, I know how tempting it is. But it’s a sure way to drive yourself crazy.” She takes a deep breath. And then, to Caitlyn’s surprise, Vi takes her hand into her own. It sends another sob racking Caitlyn’s chest, and she holds a hand to her mouth to muffle the sound. This hand that she’d longed so much for, the months they’d been apart, now coming into her own. And all it took was several hundred dead bodies.

“We have each other now, right?” Vi says, tilting her head forward, so that it’s in Caitlyn’s view. There’s so much sincerity in her eyes it makes Caitlyn’s stomach clench. “Does it matter what happens in the other situations if this is where we are now?”

Doesn’t it? Caitlyn wonders. There’s a possibility where you could have lived the life you wanted with your sister.

And then it hits Caitlyn, like a punch to the gut, how ridiculous she sounds. She’s living in all these what-if moments, questioning the lives that could have happened had something else happened, but Vi’s words feel like a bucket of cold water. This is exactly how Vi’s been living all these years. And it’s not like Caitlyn hasn’t had her fair share of considering the what-ifs for so many other situations - what if she hadn’t joined the Enforcers? what if she hadn’t pried into the raid at the hexgates? what if she hadn’t taken Ambessa’s hand? what if it hadn’t been her mother killed, but someone else? - but when Vi says that, Caitlyn realizes how terrible it is for her to be asking Vi this at all. She’s only engaging the very thought process that Vi should be battling. Even if there is truth to the other possibilities, they’re not the ones they’re living in right now. 

“I’m sorry,” Caitlyn breathes, and now she snaps her gaze to Vi, her good eye bearing into her. “You’re right. It wasn’t fair of me to ask you that.”

Vi shakes her head. “Don’t be sorry. I get it.” She shrugs. “It’s something I’ve wondered, too. And I think I’ve always known my answer. I just… never knew if you did. Never knew how to bring it up to you, if I ever needed to.”

Caitlyn’s overcome with a sudden, nauseating urge to touch Vi. So she reaches her hand out to hold Vi’s cheek in her palm, gently pushes a stray hair with her index finger, feels her skin warm and humming underneath her fingertips. A surprised breath yanks through Vi’s teeth, and she blinks at Caitlyn. But that surprise lasts barely a second before she lets her face press deeper into Caitlyn’s palm, and her lip trembles as more tears crack her face. 

“I think I’ve always known the answer,” Caitlyn says. “You were always going to choose your sister, until you couldn’t.” She hesitates, then, slowly, she leans her head forward to press it to Vi’s. The breath that comes out of Vi makes her body shudder, and it makes Caitlyn’s throat pulse in pain again. She brings the hand on Vi’s face to the back of her neck, strokes her thumb gently against her warm skin. “I just… I want you to know that I would have understood if you’d left with her.” She pauses for a moment, then sighs. “I think that’s why I asked. So that you knew I understood.” 

Vi’s tears so far have been silent, which is why, when a sob cracks out of her, it makes Caitlyn flinch. But then Vi’s crumbling, sinking deeper into herself, her forehead slipping from Caitlyn’s and onto her nose. Caitlyn reaches around Vi, wraps her arms around her back, and Vi drops her head against Caitlyn’s shoulder. Her back pulses with each sob that cracks her body, and Caitlyn holds her through each whip of pain. 

After a little while, Vi’s breathing becomes a little more even, and she draws her arms around Caitlyn’s waist. Caitlyn can feel her fingers digging underneath her shirt, drawing tiny circles against her lower back, so Caitlyn returns the favor by pressing a kiss to Vi’s neck. 

“Cait?” Vi croaks. 

Caitlyn doesn’t say anything, only presses her nose deeper into Vi’s neck. 

“I know it hurt you when I said I’d choose my sister,” Vi murmurs. “But I hope you know it would never have been an easy decision. And I hope you know that I don’t regret being with you now. Don’t… don’t feel guilty, okay?” 

Caitlyn doesn’t trust herself to speak. She knows she can’t promise to not feel guilty, just the way Vi can’t do the same. So she only squeezes her eye shut and nods. 

Vi’s arms around Caitlyn start loosening, and Caitlyn lets her pull away, even though now there’s a new chill in her body. But that chill barely lasts a second before Vi presses her hands to either side of Caitlyn’s face, and the gesture makes her feel so whole that it makes her heart swell.

Vi’s chin trembles. “Can you do something for me, Cait?”

Caitlyn nods. She finds her voice immediately. “Whatever you need.” 

Vi keeps her gaze on Caitlyn for a moment. Then, to her surprise, Vi leans over and puts her head in her lap. Vi brings Caitlyn’s hand to her cheek and presses the back of it gently, so that her face fills her palm even more. Her eyes flutter close, and a sudden flare of heat erupts in Caitlyn’s heart at the sight. She runs her free hand against Vi’s side gently, feels the hills of her ribs coursing under her fingers, watches Vi’s back fall as a breath releases out of her. 

“Just be here,” Vi whispers. “I don’t want to ask you to not change. I think I’ve realized that’s pretty stupid. But if you change… don’t leave me behind this time.” Vi spreads Caitlyn’s fingers open over her cheek and lets her hand dip into the spaces between them, and as her eyes flutter close again, Caitlyn can feel a tear slip out from her eyes, sneaking in between Caitlyn’s fingertips. “Just be here, okay? And I’ll be here for you.”

Caitlyn leans forward and presses a kiss to Vi’s shoulder. Then she presses one to her neck, then her jaw, then near her ear. “I’m here, Vi,” she promises. “I’m all here.”

That night, Vi jolts awake as another nightmare gripes at her. It takes Caitlyn a moment to convince Vi to lie back down again, but she returns, sinking slowly, as if afraid the bed might whisk her back into the shadows of her nightmares.

Even after the majority of Vi’s shock filters away, Caitlyn can still hear the echoes of her jagged breathing, like she’s being stabbed slowly and repeatedly every few moments. And again, Vi refuses to try to fall back asleep. So again, Caitlyn figures the best she can do is hold Vi as she trembles, to offer her some sense of warmth. She circles an arm around Vi’s waist and curls herself around her body, presses her nose to the back of her neck. And after a few moments, Vi tangles her fingers into Caitlyn’s and squeezes it over her stomach. 

For a few moments, Caitlyn simply listens to Vi breathe. She times her own breathing with Vi’s, feeling the way her stomach rises with every inhale and releases with every exhale, and strokes her hair back with her other hand. 

Then Vi presses Caitlyn’s hand to her cheek, and Caitlyn can feel the heat of her breath as it flows between her fingers, the chill of a few tears as they trickle underneath her palm. But Caitlyn doesn’t brush them away now, only lets them run under her touch.

This time, she’ll let the tears dry on their own.  

[variksel]

im like if arcane was gay

yall hear of those ai "look at how youd look if you were in arcane" filters on tiktok right? they can go huff my balls i can make my own lore and shit

[details + stuff under the cut !! :D]

-i went cringe and gave myself a firelight hoverboard, not only because ekko is like my favourite character but because i fully think the firelights are the coolest and most morally/politically sound group in the show

(this decision was Not At All born from the fact that i have green hair irl now xo)

-also snowboarding has been on my mind SO much lately since the season is about to start here in finland, so i made my guys design be 100% inspired by snowboarding..... hes got the goggles, the snowgloves, and the boots are pretty much just. bording boots lol. tried 2 give them a bit of a steampunky twinge but yk, bias

-gave myself a lil chain on the belt since i use those pretty often, and hooked a sketchbook onto that. on the cover of the sketchbook i added lil doodles of a sun and a moon as a ref to my comic characters :D

-all the clothes are btw something i own irl. im wearing these pants rn and theyre my favourite pants in the world

-added little doodles all over, like on the boots and the board because it seems like pretty much every artist from the undercity doodles on their clothes?? not only jinx but ekkos jacket is full of doodles

-also the few scars i added are some that i have irl, one on my eyebrow (that im headcanoning on my arcanesona (lol) to be from like a fight or something) and a bunch of burn scars on my arm from macdonalds... im hcing that my guy used to work at some shit food place maybe on the lowest levels of piltover before joining the firelights :D anyway thats all lol

[abunchofnumbers05]

LEAGUE OF LEGENDS HEADCANONS #28

Very, very very very messy Warrior cats AU

It all started when I was listening to Broken Crown by Mumford & Sons... and from the middle of the song onwards an animatic appered in my mind...

🎶So crawl on my belly 'til the sun goes down🎵

Basically we have Jinx running as fast as she can through the plains under the sunset.

[It's important to note that in the animatic the scenario is more nature-like 'cuz WarriorTM]

🎵I'll never wear your broken crown🎶

A murder of crows sets flight to get out of the way as Jinx runs. She stumbles, falling face first on a puddle; she eyes the reflection for a second and sees Silco looking back at her, the side of his face with the demaged eye fusing with her face in the water.

She growls at the image and continues on her path. (Silco's image in the water follows her as she leaps over the puddle).

🎶I took the road and I fucked it all away

Now in this twilight, how dare you speak of grace?🎵

[Now why is she running?]

Cut to a scene with Renata and MH!Viktor going to a Moon Pool-esque place, with Vik's head hung low and Renata's standing high clearly they intent to grant her the 9 lives. (Vik would be the Medic of the clan)

[It is kinda of implicity that Silco was leader before he died and Jinx was oh so clearly intended to become leader after him (even though she was never appointed Deputy to begin with - undercity doesn't follow traditional clan conventions); but she ran off, either due to grief or rejection of the role bestowed her. But it's also kinda understandable things will probably be worse with Renata as leader so Jinx has to do something about it.]

Anyways, the whole undercity is by the edges of the Moon Pool to watch the ceremony - even the firelight are watching on the sideways - and Ekko (Well I guess it's Echo now?) see Jinx jumping over cat's heads and body slams Renata out of the way and accidentaly fall into the Moon Pool.

🎵Instrumental🎶

As Jinx sinks/drowns Starclan ghosts of Vander/Felicia/Her dad/Mylo/Clagor (and others because apparently there aren't enough people for the 9 lives) start granting her the lives with finally Silco granting the last one and she awakes.

Renata and Viktor are staring at the pool like "she's been there for a while" "did she drown" "should we go in?"; then Jinx crawls out of the pool, fur soaked, a red star marking still burning bright on her forehead as she glares at them with a death stare.

Viktor bends a front leg and knels (a visual way to represent his acceptance of the new leader) Renata takes a moment but eventually also bends down - with all the other cats following suit.

(Kinda like that, idk if my description was clear)

(Softly) 🎵So crawl on my belly 'til the sun goes down

I'll never wear your broken crown

I can take the road and I can fuck it all away

But in this twilight, our choices seal our fate🎶

Scene then cuts to Vi at a clan gathering place. She turns to see Jinx, surprised and a bit aprehensive as Renata and Viktor are following her on either side and a whole entourage close behind.

She understands it for what it is, her sister is leader now, and watches as Jinx⭐️ climbs up the tree and dits amidst the other leaders (Swain, Azir, Qiyana, Jarvan, Irelia - Freljord and Targon not present cuz they can't pock a leader)

*Not sure how Piltover would fit in the clan system cuz they still opperate by the council, guess the gathering space is inside their territory and is considered a no-violence grounds, idk

[djfics]

Behind these Violet Eyes Arc 1 Part 6

Chapter 23: The Moon's Rage

Summary: Kayn and his friends follow Sett and Aphelios and find out that Aphelios is the Moonlight Prince. Aphelios felt something strange, and he became a different person.

WC: 988

November 8, 10:35 P.M. - Rakan's Car

Chat:

Ez: Phel, be careful

Aphelios: What is it?

Ekko: Ez saw some chefs that look like Kayn and his friends

Aphelios: Got it 👍

-

"Who were you texting?" Sett asks Aphelios, and he puts his phone away. "Is Ez, he asked us where were we?" Aphelios signed, and he doesn't want Sett worried about him.

"So... where are you taking me?" Aphelios asks Sett, and he looks at him. "Is a surprise Mooncake, I want you to close your eyes." Sett smiled at Aphelios, and he closed his eyes.

Sett arrives at the place he told Aphelios about. He got out of the car and helped Aphelios since his eyes were close, and they walked slowly.

"Are we... there yet?" Aphelios asks Sett, and he shook his head. "Not yet, Phel. We're almost here," Sett stops as he places his hands to Aphelios' eyes for more romantic between these two.

"Ready?" Aphelios nodded at Sett's question, and Sett released his hands from his face. Aphelios opened his eyes and saw a beautiful view that showed the ocean and the full moon.

"I asked Rakan to find a good place to see the moon, and he recommended this place," Sett explained as he grabbed Aphelios' hand and looked at him.

"Phel, my Mooncake, my Moonlight Prince...ever since we met online, I was very curious about you, and you explained about your life, and I explained about my life as well."

"Now that I found you since the ring chase that your friends, my friends, and Kayn's friends had started and we started hanging out."

"Sett...."

Sett pulls out a blue box and opens to reveal a sun and moon necklaces: the sun necklace is gold with a red gem, and the moon necklace is silver with a blue gem "Aphelios...will you be my boyfriend?" Aphelios was shocked about Sett's confession, and tears appeared in his violet eyes.

"Are you okay, Mooncake?" Sett asked, and he nodded. "Yes...is just...I never felt so happy...in my life." Aphelios hugs Setts and starts crying. Sett hugs him back and wipe Phel's tears with his big hand. "Let's try the necklaces, I bought two: one for you and one for me."

As Sett helps Aphelios with the necklace, Kayn and his friends are spying on them in the bushes and looking at them with the binoculars. "I hate this Kayn, can we go home? I'm going to miss an episode of my favorite s-" Kayn put his hand on Kai's mouth and saw something shiny.

"I f*cking knew it." Kayn saw the ring on Aphelios' hand and smirked. "As I predicted, the Moonboy is The Moonlight Prince all along." Kayn gives the boys his binoculars, and they see the ring.

"No way...."

"I thought blondie was The Moonlight Prince"

"They are perfect together"

"Indeed Kai"

"Yea-What!?" Kayn looked at Valmar and Kai and he facepalm. "What should we do, Kayn?" Rhaast asks Kayn, and he smirks. "We know that Moonboy is Thresh's adoptive son. Let's steal the ring and tell him about his secrets." Kayn smirks as he puts on a black ski mask and comes out of the bushes.

"It looks beautiful. It matches your ring, Phel," Sett said while Aphelios looked at his ring and smiled. "Maybe I'll give you something for Christmas next month."

"Aww, Phel, you don't have t-"

*WHACK*

"SETT!!" Aphelios saw the masked man hit Sett with a log, and he fell. He tries to get close to him, but the other masked man grabs him behind as the rest of the men ganged him.

"Well, well, looks like we have something good to steal for us," the masked man smirks as he gets close to him.

*GASP*

"Are you okay, Alune?" Diana asks Alune, and she nodded. "Yeah...I forgot to pray, Mother Moon Aunt Diana, I'll be right back," Alune said as she hugged her aunt and left to pray.

"Oh Yuumi...what should I do about her?" Diana asks Yuumi as Yuumi meows and lays down with her gifts.

Alune arrives at her room and goes to her balcony and looks at the full moon. It was white, big, and beautiful, and the moonlight showered on Alune's body. She got down on her knees and put her hands together, and started praying.

Oh, Mother Moon....

Please be my brother, be safe from danger

I beg you, Mother Moon

Please...

Aphelios' ring starts glowing blue and releases from the masked man's grip and punches him.

"What the?" Aphelios was looking at his hands shakingly and sensed danger and saw one of the men with a log and hit him. His glasses fell on the ground and looked at them in rage.

The masked men saw Aphelios' eyes changed from violet to light blue, and they got scared of him. Aphelios approached the masked men, and they ran away like cowards, and he started chasing them, but they got away in their van.

Aphelios fell onto his knees, breathing slowly, and his eyes returned back to his violet eyes. He looks at Sett and crawls to him.

"Sett!! Sett!! Wake up!!" Aphelios tries to wake Sett up, and he open his golden eyes and sees Phel without his glasses. "Phel... you alright..."

"Stay still, I'll call an ambulance." Aphelios pulls out his phone and calls 911 while looking at his glasses.

"Who were those guys....."

"YOU IDIOTS!! WHY DIDN'T YOU KIDNAPPED HER!?" Thresh yells at Varus' phone, and Kayn grabs his phone and links to his van on Bluetooth.

"Listen, old man, we got something interesting to tell"

"What is it?" Thresh asks, and Kayn smirks at the question. "Did your son have a ring?" Kayn asks Thresh, which he got confused at Kayn's question. "Yeah, since I found him when he was a baby, why?" Thresh responds to Kayn's question, which made Kayn smirk.

"I'll explain everything"

A/N: Oh boy...what will Kayn do...and we hope Sett and Aphelios are okay... find out at the last chapter of Part 6 on Monday.

[whispers-soundtrack-project]

Sherlolly

Fanmix Part Three

Part One * Part Two

Link to the Spotify Playlist is at the bottom of the post

All I Really Need Is You (Neil Diamond)

Have I, spent these many years * Tryin' but in vain to tell you * Don't you know it too? * All I really need is you

Stay (Rihanna, ft. Mikky Ekko)

Not really sure how to feel about it * Something in the way you move * Makes me feel like I can't live without you

Before It's Too Late (The Goo Goo Dolls)

Hold on before it's too late * Until we leave this behind * Don't fall just be who you are * It's all that we need in our lives

I Want Love (Elton John)

I want love, but it's impossible * A man like me, so irresponsible * A man like me is dead in places * Other men feel liberated

A World Alone (Lorde)

We've both got a million bad habits to kick * Not sleeping is one * We're biting our nails * You're biting my lip * I'm biting my tongue

Walk You Home (Karmina)

Even the brave may depend on someone * The moon only shines with the help of the sun * And it's not as safe when you're walking alone * I'll walk you home

Leather and Lace (Stevie Nicks & Don Henley)

I have my own life * And I am stronger * Than you know * But I carry this feeling * When you walked into my house * That you won't be walking out the door

I Get To Love You (Ruelle)

One look at you, my whole life falls in line * I prayed for you * Before I called you mine * Oh I, can't believe it's true, sometimes * Oh I, can't believe it's true * I get to love you

Secret Smile (Semisonic)

Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile * And you use it only for me * So use it and prove it * Remove this whirling sadness * I'm losing, I'm bluesing * But you can save me from madness now

Lost My Mind (Finneas)

You're the scars on my skin * You're the past I don't wanna erase * You're the words on my lips * That have left but I still seem to taste * Maybe I'm just too tired to keep lyin' * Maybe you're all I ever wanted

[ladysisyphus]

And now, for a mix literally a year and a half (to the day!) in the making, ready for you to put in your ears:

I'll face down the world with you: a Word of Honor mix

(Cover art by @bisouette; used with permission)

Full track list and a tiny bit of commentary under the cut:

Alexa Melo - The Beautiful People It's not your fault that you're always wrong / The weak ones are there to justify the strong

The Mountain Goats - Younger Big smile on my face / Capsule just in case / Underneath my tongue

Billie Eilish - You Should See Me in a Crown Watch me make 'em bow / One by one by one

Saint Mesa - Blackest Hand I've been coming, short breathing / I've been killing my demons

Slothrust - Cranium I don't want to be like all those other boys / Who tell you that they get you / But we both know that they do not get you

Andrew Belle - The Enemy Don't try to follow me / I would hold you down if I could

Whitehorse - Nighthawks Let me in / Let me in / Let me underneath your skin

Mikky Ekko - Who Are You, Really? I have nothing left to prove / 'Cause I have nothing left to lose / See me bare my teeth for you

Girlyboi - Whole You're beautiful it's true / I don't know what to do / I'm dependent over you

Halsey - Gasoline Are you insane like me? Been in pain like me?

Des Rocs - Used to the Darkness And everyone that I knew / Was lost and so long forgotten after you

St. Vincent - Smoking Section And sometimes I go to the edge of my roof / And I think I'll jump just to punish you

To Kill a King - Bloody Shirt (Bastille Remix) It's too late to say you're sorry / Say you're sorry still

Meg Myers - Numb I hate the feeling of this weight upon my shoulders / Pushing the pressure down on me

Pianos Become the Teeth - Say Nothing Whatever keeps your heart light / Whatever keeps you is all right by me

Fear of Men - Sane I possess nothing I'm free from fear / I'm a monument to myself

One Two - Bitter and Sick Come on and break me down / I’ll let you ruin my day

Wolfie's Just Fine - Break My Back You say you'll take me to the sun / But I just need a flame

No/Me - Pass the Knife I've always been the type / To kiss a crooked smile

My Chemical Romance - The Sharpest Lives There's a place in the dark where the animals go / You can take off your skin in the cannibal glow

Eliza Rickman - Pretty Little Head Take a breath, my heart, and hold your tongue / It's just a cog in the year of all my love

Lanks - Man They talk of ‘man’ but you can see / What bravery is without a violent streak

Madalen Duke - How Villains are Made Two armies are coming at me / Their flags and weapons look the same / One tells the truth, the other's lying / And they're both calling my name

Geographer, CLARA-NOVA - Blue Obsession If I saw a way out / Would you follow me down?

Frightened Rabbit - Acts of Man I have never wanted more to be your man / And build a house around you

Shallows - Empire of the Animal You are what you eat and you are starving / You're nothing to me when you are hiding / I'm just waiting to see if you survive me

Murder By Death - Big Dark Love Pain like a searing light / Cuts like a dull knife / Are you awake / Can I come over tonight

Emily Wells - Antidote (Live Arrangement) To tell you the truth / To tell you the truth I was born a liar

Brick + Mortar - Dead Moon He's a dead one, I'm the grim reaper / Can you feel me, I can feel your fever

PHILDEL - Holes in Your Coffin If the word of the law doesn't get you / And the guilt you ignore's gonna set you / Free, free, free

Koda - white dove You're a silver-tongued jackboot thug with / White skin but you're no white dove

MXMS - Gravedigger I think it's a good idea if you stay the fuck away from me

Everything Everything - White Whale Never tell me that we can't go further

Phoebe Bridgers, Abby Gundersen, Noah Gundersen - Killer + The Sound I am sick of the chase, but I'm hungry for blood / And there's nothing I can do

Daughter - Burn It Down Never knew I could be speechless / Don't know how I'll ever break this curse

Hozier - Shrike Remember me, love / When I'm reborn

Emma Blackery - Brutus Set me up to fall / Think you're in control / But I'm taking back what you stole

Kellermensch - Lost At Sea If you wait around long enough / Then everything begins to rust

flora cash - Down on Your Knees Almost winning and now I don't know / But it seems like it's almost away from me

Julien Baker, Helios - Bloodshot (Helios Remix) Isn't like I did it on purpose / I just forget the second I learn it / Everything I get I deserve

The Moth & The Flame - Empire & the Sun I could never love someone who could love someone like me

aeseaes - Carrion Comfort I'm craving an excuse / Dumb danger to let loose / The dogs to fight

IAMX - The Power And The Glory It's a mess in here/ I've been drinking myself blind again

CLANN - I Hold You Just breathe through me / We'll keep the fires alight / I'll face down the world with you

Out Came the Wolves - Lowland Hum I will love you when there's nothing left

-

Absolutely, positively listen to this in order. It's a conversation.

[m-feline]

To adapt, to survive, to live - ch 8

Silco x Freader

Tags; hurt, slightly angst, canon typical swearing;

Masterlist

Previous ->

When I woke up it was dark outside. It was a night of a full moon, so gentle light came from the air hole of the top. Thank God, I was still alive. I was cold but alive. I barely managed to move my hand to the neck to try the wound. The towel was there held down by the tape. But as I moved my hand I got confused. According to what I remember, I only placed one piece of tape on the towel. Why did I feel three stripes of tape? When I glanced down, I also notice the cover over me. I did not have time to put it. Was I not alone?

“Thank God, you’re alive.”

I jerked to sit up but it hurt so much that I fell to lie down again.

“Whoa, don’t do that. You need to take it easy.”

I recognize that voice. It can’t be.

“Ekko?” I called him but my voice sounded horrible. As if I had flu and my throat was busted.

“I’m here. I’m here,” He soothed me as he came closer and finally into my view. “Oh boy, you look like shit.”

“You're alive,” I said with a raspy voice. “I… tried to… look for you.”

“Yeah, I have more hideouts than the ones I told you,” He said. “Luckily, one was close to here.”

“You came…” I tried to finish my sentence but it was hard to speak.

“I heard you. Maybe the whole Topside heard you too,” Ekko tried to joke. “When I came you were lying down trying to bandage your neck. You couldn’t move so I finished the bandaging.”

“Thank you,” I said.

“Its okay. Try to sleep again, you need to get better,” Ekko said.

“And you?” I asked.

“I… sleep somewhere too. There is enough room for a lot of people to sleep here,” Ekko said extending his hands around him. Instead, of answering, I pulled out one hand and tapped the spot next to me. It took a moment for Ekko to get it.

“Oh, you okay with it?” He asked.

“Just get in here, little guy,” I said. He quickly got to lie next to me facing away from me and I lifted the cover to warp him too. Then I warped my arms around his neck to a hug and let him rest his head on one of my arms.

“I'm glad you are alive,” I whispered to him.

“So am I,” He whispered back. And then we both fell asleep.

--

The next morning the light of the sun that shone through the air hole woke me up. This was one of the good sides of this place. There were almost no sunlight in the Lanes. If you weren’t deep enough to not see the sky, the smoke covered the tallest of the view. But not here. Maybe that was the reason this tree had grown so big.

“(Y/n), you’re awake,” Ekko called me. I rubbed my eyes and then my neck as I got up. I still felt sore but better than yesterday.

“Hi Ekko,” I sighed. “Give me a moment and I make breakfast.

“Uum….”

“You already ate my food rations,” I guessed.

“No…. Just half of it,” Ekko admitted.

“And by half you mean…?” I asked closing my eyes as the sleep still lingered in them.

“There's still one sandwich with ham, and three cookies,” Ekko said. I had packed three sandwiches and ten cookies. The boy was hungry alright.

“And the bottle?” I asked peaking at him.

“Full. I have my own water bottle with me,” Ekko said showing his small canister. “And don’t worry, I still have some juice in it from yesterday.”

I simply hummed to that and reached for my bottle to take a sip. Good thing I always pack extra food with me. Sadly, it wasn’t enough for the two of us.

“I guess I need to head back today if I wish to have breakfast tomorrow,” I said.

“Back? What do you mean ‘head back,’?” Ekko asked in shock. “You aren’t seriously going back to the Last Drop?”

“Ekko, I have to… For Ji….” I tried to explain but he cut me.

“That guy killed Benzo,” He almost shouted. “He killed Vander, Milo, Glaggor, Vi…” I didn’t want to correct him. It was Powder who killed them with those dangerous crystals. How am I going to explain this to him when has lost so much?

“What happened to Powder? She didn’t go there too?” Ekko asked.

“She switched her name to Jinx, and she is in the Last Drop,” I said.

“Then we have to help her,” Ekko said.

“She doesn’t need that kind of help,” I sighed. “She is treated well, she is more stable there, for now.”

“I don’t get it,” Ekko said. I have no choice but to say it.

“Ekko, did you see the explosion in the cannery?” I asked, he nodded with a grim expression. “Powder did that.”

“Shit.”

“Everything that didn’t make out that night died there,” I said.

“Why did she do it?” Ekko asked more to himself than me.

“Why?” I repeated the word in shock.

“Were they that desperate? Wait, then Silco might not have killed them all… Maybe they could have made it,” Ekko rambled on.

“What the hell do you mean ‘why?” I shouted at him. He flinched at the tone I used. I never raised my voice with any of the kids. “Why did she do it? Why did they all go up to rob a Pilty house full of explosives? Why did you send them there? Why are you guys always trying to get in trouble?” As I spoke, I grabbed his arm in a tight grip and shook him. His eyes got wide and had an evident look of fear. For he saw a greenish glow in my eyes that was everything else but natural. “If all of you wouldn’t have gone up then maybe no one would have died.”

The pain in my neck made me groan and let go of Ekko. He quickly flinched away from me as I pressed my both hands over the wound. I bent over and panted till the pain faded, and also my mind cleared.

“I'm sorry,” I apologize without looking up. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Is it… that freaky ritual you did before?” Ekko asked carefully.

“Probably,” I said. “You know about it?”

“Two years ago, when I had begun to work with Benzo, Vander came to talk with him. I heard, … I was in the next room and I heard everything,” Ekko said. “You had hurt yourself, very badly, and… you were sick. Vander said that you did it to yourself on purpose. That it was some kind of ritual.”

“It is,” I said.

“Ritual for what?” Ekko asked. I moved my hair from back to front so my back was exposed. I had slept the whole night with a backless tank top, so Ekko had no trouble seeing the weird marking on my back.

“Did someone beat your back?” He asked.

“No, this is the result of those rituals, and it’s still not finished,” I said.

“A huge ass-shit bruise on your back?” Ekko asked. I really hated how easily kids curse these days. But I can only blame the environment for that. Vander did his best to avoid foul language, especially in my presence. That might have been one reason, why people thought we were close. Now, I just had to get used to it.

“When I do the last stage, there will be a signia on my back. What kind? That will depend on how well I kept my self-control,” I explained.

“What sort of signias are there?” Ekko asked.

“The only one I ever saw was of my mother’s. Ivy vines. But according to her, those were most lower of signias,” I explained.

“Is this signia the reason why you have to return?” Ekko asked.

“Partly. It is the reason I came here. But mostly because I have to look after Jinx,” I tried to explain.

“But what when you get the signia? What will you do then?” Ekko asked. That was a damm good question. What then? Will I stay in the Last Drop? Or will I leave with Jinx? Leave where?

“I don’t know yet,” I admitted. “I have to see how things progress. It will all depend on Jinx.”

Ekko didn’t say anything to that and gladly switched the topic. He told me how he had run away when the news of Vander's death spread all over the Lanes. He went to his hiding places that even I didn’t know and had time to time snuck to Lanes to get food. He had managed quite well for so long. I had to admit that I was impressed.

“Then yesterday, I heard your…. Uum,” Ekko said yet hesitated and wasn’t sure how say the next words politely.

“My screams of death,” I joked.

“Let's call it that, I came to see what it was and... The first thing I found is this,” He said motioning towards the huge tree. “I didn’t know there was a tree here.”

“I found this place when I was the same age as Vi,” I said. “Sam and I were wandering around the sewers and then we found this. He loved it and already had plans to build houses over the branches like treehouses.”

“Sam was your guardian, wasn’t he?” Ekko asked.

“Yes,” I said. “But his past as an Enforcer got him killed a week later.”

“Oh,” Ekko said, his look changed the moment I said ‘Enforcer’. “Why would an Enforcer come down to Undercity?”

“Because he didn’t approve of what the other Enforcers did to my mother,” I said.

“What did they…” Ekko was about to ask but the look I gave him told him enough. “Did it happen on the Topside?”

“Yup,” I said.

“Why?” Ekko asked.

“Because of this,” I said and pointed my back. “And one word. ‘Mage’.”

“Well, what you did here yesterday was not… normal,” Ekko said.

“My mother tried to raise me well, but just the fact that she had moving tattoos… was enough to label her as ‘unwanted-citizen',” I said.

“Moving tattoos? That sounds cool,” Ekko said.

“And next year you’ll see one on me,” I said. “Unless I’m killed before that. One other reason for me to go back. If Silco thinks I’m running he might hunt me down. Or worse, take it on Jinx.”

“I get it,” Ekko said though he still sounded sour about it. “So, what do you need? Besides some rest and clearly another bandaging.”

“I would say food to get my energy back but… you already ate half of it,” I said smiling.

“I know how to get more, if you want?” Ekko said.

I didn’t need to ask. Four hours later he brought more food. Bread, a piece of cheese, and a couple of leaves of lettuce that were still edible. With that, I made sandwiches for the two of us. We ate them and when we saw the light changing as the sun went down I began to pack my bag again.

“Are you okay to go like that?” Ekko asked .

“I get better once I get to Last Drop and bandage this better,” I said. “If I ask nicely then maybe Silco will give me a day off for tomorrow and the day after.”

Ekko didn’t say anything to that. It was clear he didn’t like when I mentioned Silco. I don’t blame him. Even I had some grudge against Silco. But then again I had a grudge against many people. From the Topside and Undercity. But Silco wasn’t my most hated person, so living under his roof was bearable. And most importantly, he got along with Jinx. Maybe most of all the people who now stayed at the Last Drop.

“So, you come here in a year?” Ekko asked as he helped me to get up from the ground.

“Yeah,” I said. “In the meantime, why don’t you look after this place.”

“Really?”

“Sure. Maybe some tent over there. A little cabin over there. If you somehow figure out how to make something else grow here, you would have no reason to go back to Lanes,” I said.

“Lanes are my home,” Ekko said with pride in his voice.

“Still this could become a nice hiding place,” I said. I could tell he liked the idea. I was mostly happy because I would at ease that Ekko would be safe. I may not see him as much but I knew he could make this place work. And that was all I needed to know.

Ekko walked with me for a long while till we came to the edge of population. People were going around, yet not enough to have prying eyes. There I knelt down gingerly and placed my hand over Ekko's shoulders.

“Stay safe and stay healthy,” I said to him.

“Always,” He assured me. “And… you stay safe too. I wait for you in a year.”

“Do that. And no matter what you hear, wait till I come there,” I said.

After that, we parted ways. I headed to the Last Drop, and Ekko went either back to the tree or to look for more food. As I got closer to the Last Drop, I began to feel tired again. I could really have a bowl of soup when I get there. But at this time the bar should be full and I was too tired to cook.

“(Y/n)?”

I turned in the direction where I heard my name and I saw Sevika walking in my direction. She was alone but judging by the sound of clicks, she must have been playing cards somewhere.

“Lucky night?” I asked and nodded at her belt where the noisy pouch hung. She got my hint quickly and chuckled at that.

“Yeah, you could say that,” She said. “I thought you were coming back tomorrow.”

“At worst case, yes,” I said. “If at best I would have come before the bar opened.”

“You look like shit,” She said. “Something happened to your neck?”

“Yes,” I said and tried to switch topics. “How is Jinx?”

“Why do you think I’m out?” Sevika scoffed.

“For fun and winnings,” I said again pointing to her pouch.

“Win or lose, I will rather be there than stand in the same room with that girl.” She said. “Always whining when you come back.”

“And now I’m back,” I said.

“Yeah, and don’t ever leave again,” She said. I rolled my eyes at her. I knew she had issues with Jinx but she didn’t hate the girl. They simply didn’t get along. We walked together to the Last Drop, when we both entered the bar she helped us through the crowd to the stairs. The faster she got me to Jinx the sooner I would be in charge of the girl. I found Jinx in Silco’s room. Silco had many papers neatly stacked on the table while Jinx had her papers scattered around the floor with little colorful doodles on them.

“(Y/n)!” Jinx shouted as she saw me and rushed to hug me.

“Hi, dear. Did you miss me?” I asked the girl.

“Yeah, a lot,” She said with a bit muffled voice as she buried her face in my upper stomach.

“Welcome back,” Silco said as he set down a paper he was reading and walked toward us.

“Thank you,” I said to him. “Though I’m back, could I ask for tomorrow and the day after off?”

For one moment, I worried that Silco would say no. But then I saw his eyes staring at my neck. There was no hiding that wound. But after two days I could make it disappear with makeup.

“Since you came back early, one extra day won’t matter anymore,” Silco sighed and turned back to his work.

“Thank you. May I… we leave?” I said and corrected as Jinx turned to look at me from her hug.

“Yes, you may,” Silco said and took in hand again the paper he was inspecting before. “And treat that injury.”

Jinx was very happy that I was back. She kept asking, what I did, where I was, and what kind of injury I had. I simply said that none of it mattered now that I was back. I practically fell to the bed and snuggled with Jinx. I kept the moment debating with myself if I should tell her about Ekko. But sleep took me over soon and I didn’t get a chance to tell her.

Next ->

[ransprang]

Hai hello, I saw yalls account and really liked the works and am wondering if I could request an Arcane matchup? I am female, she/her so preferably with male characters but I really don't mind any (kinda had a sexual awakening last month and I think I might be bi sooo... also if possible please don't matchup with Jinx or Ekko since they are still children post-time skip and I am over 20, okay thank you).

A few years ago my MBTI was an INFP but last time I checked a few months ago I turned INFJ?? if I had to choose, I'd stick with INFJ as most of my personality tests and my life path number always lead to me being an idealist and it kinda resonates most for me with my beliefs and all. I'm an Aries sun, Leo rising and Scorpio moon so you know am a quite passionate for all sorts of things and it always ends up with me in tears. I cry really easily too because it's easy for me to empathize, wouldn't go as far as to call myself an empath but I really genuinely do put myself in other people's shoes and consider others before I act. I really really love music lots of different genres (except country, just not my vibe but I do love folk music). I also really love reading, mostly non fiction now but I used to love reading fiction and poetry. I also used to write lots of poetry. I like being surrounded by lots of greenery and flowers and plants but I also love being bigger cities. I love love love animals and would cry watching sad animal videos and happy animal videos. My top love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, and physical touch.

I have black hair just touching my shoulders, I have tanner skin and brown eyes.

I don't really have a type physically, I would say taller than me but I'm about 5'1" so it's not too hard to be taller than me haha. I do fancy someone who is funny, witty, calm, patient, understanding and kind. Nothing I hate more than assholes and people who refuse to understand others.

I really look forward to the matchup and future stuff you guys are working on. Take your time and do what you gotta do, i am also a student at uni and just finished exams so I understand and totally get it. Also I nearly killed myself for during my exams so don't do it like me and get some actual rest, limit your coffees people it's not worth the chest pains. Keep doing your best! Take care of yourselves, stay safe and have a good day.

heyy thanks for the request!! you're so sweet thank you the uni life truly is so hard huh. please take care of yourself too and get lots of rest!! also we hope your exams went well <3

your arcane match up is..........................VI!!

- Vi is funny & witty. She will come up with all sorts of cute nicknames as she gets to know you better.

- Vi is 5″9, thus taller than you. She'll love kabedoning you / pushing you against walls and kissing you.

- You hair length is like Caitlyn's so she'll fall in love with you too basically.

- Vi would baby you when you’re crying because she's a mother deep down. She'll hug you and give you kisses.

- Vi would get confused by your Leo rising and be concerned what in your body is rising. She make check if you have a penis/erection

- You and Vi can go to green places together and make Vi breath some fresh air once in a while since there's probably no greenery in Zaun. You can take her to cute parks.

- You can teach Vi how to read. She’d get a lady boner for your college degree.

- If Vi can understand Powder murdering her whole family, she can be understanding with you too <3

your exam haters,

admins sar, san & sav

[infinite-xerath]

Xeraths Taunts for Every Champion (Updated)

Aatrox: “You seek oblivion? I shall grant it to you!”

Ahri: “Your empathy holds you back.”

Akali: “Your petty tricks will not hide you from me!”

Akshan: “You toy with powers well beyond your understanding...”

Alistar: “Let me teach you how to fell an empire...”

Ambessa: “I will teach you the true meaning of sacrifice...”

Amumu: “Let your sorrow give way to rage, cursed child!”

Anivia: “Death and rebirth… A hollow eternity.”

Annie: “Your flame... Is familiar...”

Aphelios: “Two souls, both bound by a lifetime of pain…”

Ashe: “ALL RUNETERRA will unite under my heel!”

Aurelion Sol: “I have surpassed the sun you forged; now I shall surpass you!”

Aurora: “You befriend the spirits, but I command them!”

Azir: “Now, Azir, YOU will know your place!”

Bard: “You witnessed my Ascension; now, witness my triumph!”

Bel’Veth: “The world will be remade... In MY image.”

Blitzcrank: “I see golems have have advanced little in my absence...”

Brand: “Before me, you are but a spark!”

Braum: “I will shatter your shield, body, AND spirit.”

Briar: “It seems this beast needs a new collar...”

Caitlyn: “You think to pit your aim against mine? A grave mistake....”

Camille: “Your house’s reign of prominence nears its end...”

Cassiopeia: “You came to the tomb in search of power, and you have found me.”

Cho’Gath: “I will teach the Void the true meaning of terror.”

Corki: “The skies offer you no protection from ME, yordle!”

Darius: “Noxus values strength, but you know nothing of TRUE power!”

Diana: “The sun, the moon… I shall eclipse both!”

Dr. Mundo: “A swift death is the only cure for your insanity.”

Draven: “You are just a man; there is NOTHING remarkable about you.”

Ekko: “Try as many times as you like, child; you will NEVER overcome me!”

Elise: “You are just another insect to be crushed beneath my heel!”

Evelynn: “I am above such petty temptations.”

Ezreal: “Ne’Zuk’s gauntlet? How kind of you to bring it to me, boy.”

Fiddlesticks: “Now, even fear itself shall tremble before me!”

Fiora: “A sword? Hahahahaha! You would challenge me with nothing but a sword?”

Fizz: “Your tricks are an annoyance, nothing more.”

Galio: “Magic gives you life, yet it can also be your undoing!”

Gangplank: “You are but another warlord to be brought to heel.”

Garen: “Demacia’s fear and ignorance of magic shall be its undoing.”

Gnar: “You would make for an interesting pet…”

Gragas: “I rose above mortality; you sank into the depths of depravity.”

Graves: “Foreign weapons are laughably mundane.”

Gwen: “A child’s fantasy brought to life, yet to be tainted by the world’s cruelty…”

Hecarim: “Bring your legions, and I shall put them all to rest!”

Heimerdinger: “Science reveals only a fraction of reality’s true nature.”

Hwei: “I alone see the true colors of magic...”

Illaoi: “I shall lay waste to all false idols, and any that would worship them!”

Irelia: “Your technique BARELY counts as magic.”

Ivern: “I do not adhere to the laws of nature; I am above them!”

Janna: “They call you ‘guardian,’ but you cannot protect them from ME.”

Jarvan IV: “Another golden monarch to dethrone…”

Jax: “Icathia, Shurima, both long-dead… Yet your folly remains.”

Jayce: “They call you the greatest mind of this era… I am unimpressed.”

Jhin: “Your ‘art’ is as fleeting as your life.”

Jinx: “Tear it all down, girl, so I may build my empire atop the rubble!”

K’Sante: “Kill as many Baccai as you wish; I can always make more!”

Kai’Sa: “The Void is a parasite; one I shall rid from this world!”

Kalista: “Azir is the betrayer; I took only what I was owed!”

Karma: “Your think yourself enlightened? You are deluded.”

Karthus: “I will silence your chorus, Deathsinger!”

Kassadin: “It is but a matter of time before your will breaks, Void Walker…”

Katarina: “Your sister proved her worth. Can you do the same?”

Kayle: “I alone am fit to render judgement!”

Kayn: “To think the mighty Rhaast could be suppressed by a mere boy…”

Kennen: “You may call the lightning, but I am the coming storm!”

Kha’Zix: “You change and shift your form, but I have Ascended mine!”

Kindred: “What have I to fear from death, if Azir escaped your grasp?”

Kled: “A rodent on a drakalops? Is this some manner of jest?”

Kog’Maw: “Let your maker come; I will crush it as well!“

LeBlanc: “I once relied on petty deceptions as well, but no longer.”

Lee Sin: “Blind and ignorant, just like all mortals…”

Leona: “I will fell the Sun as many times as it takes!”

Lissandra: “Tell me more of these ‘Watchers,’ witch.”

Lillia: “Dreams are fleeting; I am eternal!”

Lucian: “The Sentinels played their part. They are no longer needed.”

Lulu: “Your magic is potent, but wasted in a child’s hands!”

Lux: “Your light will fade, as will your homeland’s.”

Malphite: “Not even the grandest mountain can stand against me!”

Malzahar: “You are not the Void’s prophet; you are its puppet.”

Maokai: “You seek liberation, spirit? I can grant it to you…”

Master Yi: “Look upon me with those eyes, swordsman, and your mind will shatter!”

Mel: “You think yourself cunning? You are but a naive child...”

Milio: “A gentle flame is easily snuffed out, boy.”

Miss Fortune: “You seek the power to crush your rival? I can grant it to you…”

Mordekaiser: “Yet another dead emperor, clinging to the remnants of his reign!”

Morgana: “If you do not desire the power given to you, I will gladly take it!”

Naafiri: “One insufferable dog is more than enough!”

Nami: “You are FAR from your element…”

Nasus: “You should have stayed buried, Nasus...”

Nautilus: “I shall send you back to the depths from whence you came!”

Neeko: “You cannot grasp even a FRACTION of my essence!”

Nidalee: “Neither human nor beast can stand against me!”

Nilah: “You are but a demon’s slave. How can you hope to challenge me?”

Nocturne: “I fear nothing, least of all a mere shadow.”

Nunu and Willump: “Bonds of friendship are so easily broken...”

Olaf: “All mortals are forgotten in time.”

Orianna: “You escaped death, in exchange for a hollow life.”

Ornn: “They say you forged the world, but now, I shall reforge it!”

Pantheon: “You challenge me again, warrior? Your folly knows no bounds...”

Poppy: “I will create a world with no need for heroes.”

Pyke: “You are but a puppet. Where is your master hiding?”

Qiyana: “Naive child, I alone have the power to conquer this world!”

Quinn: “A mere mortal has no place among the heavens!”

Rakan: “Love is but a fool’s delusion…”

Rammus: “THIS is the fabled protector of the desert?”

Rek’Sai: “Queen of the Desert? Just another Voidborn pest!”

Renata: “Wealth is nothing more than the ILLUSION of power!”

Rengar: “Your form resembles the Sunborn… But that is your only commonground.”

Riven: “Your will is as fragile as your blade.”

Rumble: “From what ancient tomb did you salvage THAT abomination?”

Ryze: “I alone am fit wield the World Runes!”

Samira: “A survivor of Amakra? I will soon rectify THAT...”

Sejuani: “Ride against me, northerner, and ride to your demise!”

Senna: “Neither alive, nor dead… Is there even a word for one such as you?”

Seraphine: “Is THIS what passes for music in the modern age?”

Sett: “Perhaps you might entertain me in Nerimazeth’s amphitheater…”

Shaco: “You have run amok too long; now, I shall pull your strings…”

Shen: “I am neither mortal nor spirit; I am so much more!”

Shyvana: “Where others see an abomination, I see potential…”

Singed: “Alchemy is but a crude imitation of magic.”

Sion: “I tamed the Butcher’s fury; you are no threat to me!”

Sivir: “Surrender the Chalicar to me, and perhaps I shall spare your life!”

Skarner: “So the legends of the Brackern are true… Where are your kin hiding?”

Smolder: “You would make for an interesting Baccai...”

Sona: “Magic to bolster music? How quaint…”

Soraka: “Whatever destiny is written in the stars, I shall carve out my own!”

Swain: “So you have bound a demon. Am I meant to be be impressed?”

Sylas: “We have much in common…”

Syndra: “Allow me to unlock the true depths of your potential...”

Tahm Kench: “All that I desire, I shall take for myself!”

Taliyah: “You are gifted, child, but you cannot evade me forever!”

Talon: “So you are the Serpent’s brother? Your sister has served me well…”

Taric: “Your elegance only masks your fragility.”

Teemo: “Run and hide, yordle, as your kind have always done!”

Thresh: “You are just another prisoner, Thresh...”

Tristana: “If you would imitate mortal soldiers, then you may die like one!”

Trundle: “As though the trolls of the sands were not enough…”

Tryndamere: “The rage of man is nothing before the rage of a god!”

Twisted Fate: “You are a mockery of a mage!”

Twitch: “Begone from my sight, vermin!”

Udyr: “Bring as many spirits as you desire; it will not be enough!”

Urgot: “I have become power incarnate; you merely became a pest!”

Varus: “The fearsome Varus, reduced to tainted flesh… Pathetic.”

Vayne: “Do you truly hunt the shadows, or merely hide in them?”

Veigar: “You think yourself a rival? How amusing…”

Vel’Koz: “Even your mind would shatter with the knowledge I possess!”

Vex: “You know NOTHING of true despair, yordle...”

Vi: “You intend to PUNCH a god? The audacity...”

Viego: “You are no king. You are nothing more than a petulant child!”

Viktor: “You aspire to perfection; I have already achieved it!”

Vladimir: “Your blood magics are fruitless against ME, fool.”

Volibear: “You are no god; merely another beast to tame!”

Warwick: “I shall put your out of your misery, beast!”

Wukong: “Training alone will not overcome the weaknesses of flesh.”

Xayah: “All people are equal before a god.”

Xin Zhao: “If you would die for your king, then I shall oblige you!”

Yasuo: “You are but a breeze before a storm!”

Yorick: “That water... Where did you acquire it?”

Yone: “I could make something greater than mortal OR demon...”

Yuumi: “A tome to travel anywhere? Interesting...”

ZAC: “You are the result of mere mortals playing at godhood!”

Zed: “I am no stranger to darkness; I do not fear your magic.”

Zeri: “You have not mastered your power, girl, only stifled it…”

Ziggs: “Come, yordle. Let us see who can reap the most destruction!”

Zilean: “I shall pry the secrets of time from you, and Ascend even higher!”

Zoe: “The power of a god, in the hands of a child!? The Aspects are truly fools!”

Zyra: “So you are the source of the infestation? Then I shall burn your corruption at the roots.”

[rad1os1lence]

tag 9 people to learn more about their interests!

thank you for tagging me @pilarsalazr !!!

MUSIC

fave genre? indie rock/pop

fave artist? the neighbourhood, catfish and the bottlemen, glass animals, olivia rodrigo, mother mother, fleetwood mac, flor, labyrinth, the hunna, arctic monkeys, circa waves, labyrinth, mikky ekko, jaymes young, finneas, billie eilish, the wombats, two door cinema club, walk the moon, x ambassadors, taylor swift, declan mckenna, years and years + literally so many more

fave song? can’t pick just one but probs the beach by the neighbourhood?

most listened song recently? if you seek amy by britney spears LMAO

song currently stuck in your head? where have you been by rihanna for some reason

5 fave lyrics? can’t think of any specifically

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

fav book genre? anything ya pretty much but i mainly love urban fantasy/fantasy with diverse characters, i will also love any contemporary ya about queer characters

fav writer? tooooo many

fav book? aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe, we are the ants, the secret history, red white and royal blue, the miseducation of cameron post, i’ll give you the sun etc

fav book series? the raven cycle, the shadowhunter chronicles, the simon snow trilogy, six of crows duology, percy jackson and the olympians, heroes of olympus, magnus chase and the gods of asgard, all for the game, heartstopper (+ i’ve only read book 1 but i think the renegades trilogy will be added to this when i finish them!)

comfort book? simon vs the homo sapiens agenda

perfect book to read on a rainy day? radio silence

fave characters? kit herondale, ty blackthorn, ronan lynch, adam parrish, renee walker, neil josten, christina rosales, diana wrayburn, raphael santiago, nico di angelo, leo valdez, annabeth chase, percy jackson, remus lupin, sirius black, magnus bane, jem carstairs, simon snow, baz pitch, penelope bunce, agatha wellbelove and that’s not even half

5 quotes from your fave book that you know by heart? ugh literally anything from trc INCLUDING “the head is too wise, the heart is all fire”, “it was starting, it was starting”, “in that moment, blue was a little in love with all of them. their magic, their quest, their strangeness and awfulness”, “maybe i dreamt you”, “the ocean burned”

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once

TV AND MOVIES

fave tv/movie genre? for tv: teen drama but i will literally watch anything that looks interesting and addicting. movies: comedy, action and coming of age movies all the way

fave movie? the perks of being a wallflower, i tonya, heathers, scott pilgrim vs the world, baby driver, la la land, parasite

comfort movie? 13 going on 30

movie you watch every year? love actually, the parent trap, freaky friday

fave tv show? how to get away with murder, the wilds, elite, love victor, runaways, stranger things, skam, sex education, euphoria, julie and the phantoms, young royals, the end of the f***ing world, i am not okay with this, killing eve, umbrella academy, the good place, one day at a time, fleabag, teen wolf, probs more i can’t think of

comfort tv show? julie and the phantoms, hsmtmts, never have i ever, one day at a time

most rewatched tv show? glee, one day at a time, julie and the phantoms

ultimate otp? there is not just one

5 fave characters? shelby goodkind, karolina dean, isak valtersen, villanelle, fatin jadmani

tv shows or movie | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online

can’t think of specific blogs rn but do it if you wanna! :))

[macbetha]

So very excited to share this! It’s a playlist for my upcoming Free! fic, This Heart of Mine, the rewritten sequel to Eyes Wide Open All the Time. You can listen to the playlist on YouTube; this list simply helps define who or what a song represents to me. This list also includes some lyrics that you may want to pay special attention to. I recommend reading the lyrics by themselves before listening to the playlist. Mind you - some of these lyrics only act as symbolism. Some mean more. Some songs have connections. Some don’t. ;) *go girl give us nothing* List below! 

 THIS HEART OF MINE: PLAYLIST GUIDE 

Theme: Bring Me The Horizon feat. Halsey - In The Dark (MTLT / amo version) Oh so tall, it broke the fourth wall Guess our fairytale had a few plot holes Don’t you know you’ve lost control ↳ Honorable Mentions: ✧ grandson - Bury Me Facedown When I go into the ground I won’t go quietly I’m bringing my crown I won’t get tired Set the town on fire Thinking that they’ve won It’s only just begun  ✧ Lorde - Everybody Wants to Rule the World ✧ Ry X - YaYaYa ✧ Rihanna - Goodnight Gotham

CHARACTERS

✦ Haruka ✧ WDL - Monster vs Angel Got my own monster Nobody but me  Got my own angel  I would never call him enemy He’s the good god I need  But both of the sides Fight for me  ✧ Mumford and Sons - Broken Crown I’ll never be your chosen one In this twilight  How dare you speak of grace But in this twilight Our choices seal our fate I’ll crawl on my belly till the sun goes down I’ll never wear your broken crown  ✧ Lia Marie Johnson - DNA Dark as midnight 6 Pack Coors Light You don’t look the same Past my bedtime Blue and red lights come take you away I won’t be like you Fighting back, I’m fighting back the truth Eyes like yours Can’t look away But you can’t stop DNA 

✧ Cat Power - Sea of Love Come with me, my love To the sea, the sea of love ✧ Al Green - Love and Happiness (side note: this if my favorite song of all time) Love and happiness Something that can make you do wrong And make you do right 

✦ Makoto ✧ The Oh Hellos - Soldier, Poet, King There will come a soldier Who carries a mighty sword He will tear your city down Oh ley, oh lei, oh lord ✧ Labrynth - Still Don’t Know My Name I took your heart I did things to you only lovers would only do in the dark I made you a god Priests, popes and preachers would tell me I did wrong ✧ The Civil Wars - Devil’s Backbone Don’t care if he’s guilty Don’t care if he’s not He’s good and he’s bad and he’s all that I got Oh lord, I’m begging you, please Don’t take that sinner from me  ✧ Sleeping At Last - Make You Feel My Love (Cover) I could make you happy Make your dreams come true There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do Go to ends of the earth for you To make you feel my love  ✦ Sousuke ✧ Angel Haze - Detox You dance in a cage with some rats in it I’m about chemistry, you just react to me God might turn us to ash, baby I might just taste your last stars tonight  We were gods in a world that did nothing but doubt us But fuck it, I got us, from the dirt with the flowers Put in work in the shower ✧ Kaleo - No Good  You better start runnin’ When you hear the man coming It won’t do you no good Kiss your baby goodbye Come on love, it’s all right Heaven knows they wanna break you apart  ✧ The Oh Hellos - The Lament of Eustice Scrubb Brother, forgive me We both know I’m the one to blame When I touched the water They told me I could be set free ✦ Rin ✧ Halsey - Young God (Lullaby / Music Box Intro, Live from Webster Hall) Running, running, running And we’ll be running, running, running again ✧ SZA - Good Days Tell me I’m not my fears, my limitations I’ll disappear I gotta keep from losing the rest of me Chasing a fountain of youth that’s in the present I’ll await my armored fate with a smile Still wanna try, I still believe in good days ✧ Lola Blanc - Angry Too Does it get your blood boiling? Does it make you see red? Cause it gets my blood boiling It would eat you like poison if you knew what I knew I don’t wanna drink the venom they made me I don’t wanna be controlled by the past But boy, if you were me Could you really blame me?  ✧ Kendrick Lamar - u And if this bottle could talk: I cry myself to sleep, everything is your fault Because you shook as you knew confinement was needed I know your secrets Don’t let me tell them to world  About the shit you thinking  And the time that you - I’m ‘bout to hurl  I’m fucked up But I ain’t as fucked up as you ✧ Halsey - More Wooden floors, little feet Flower bud, concrete A little screen, a photograph Mine to take I still believe it won’t be like before I’ve loved you for all of my life ✦ Nao ✧ Johnny Hollow - Worse Things Anger grew like ecstasy And Leda threw the swan on me There are worse things, perverse things You should answer when the phone rings There are worse things I could do ✧ Young Heretics - Bones of a Rabbit You play with wolves But you sleep with the bones of the rabbit  You have conquered cities And torched the mighty sea You may keep yourself afloat But you cannot outswim me  ✧ Phantogram - Black Out Days (Future Islands Remix) Hide the sun  I will keep your face out of my mind  I’m hearing voices all the time And they’re not mine  Haunting my mind ✦ Natsuya ✧ Gang of Youths - Achilles, Come Down Remember your virtue  Redemption lies plainly in the truth Where you go, I’m going When you jump, I’m jumping There is no me without you  Today of all days See how the most dangerous thing is love ✧ Florence + The Machine - Cosmic Love The stars, the moon They have all been blown out You left me in the dark ✦ Ikuya ✧ Penelope Scott - Cigarette Ahegao So like, I guess I call it the sophomore slump Always crying and always drunk A few dead, more gone, the rest well on their way Thanks! I hate it Everyone that I love is stuck Because this, that, the other, and the state fucked up We covered it in a class that I’m about to fail  ✧ 100 gecs, Laura Les, Dylan Brady - Money Machine Tell me what's the deal, I've been trying to go to bed I've been up for days, I've been trying to get ahead Said it all before, and I'll say it once again I'm better off alone ✧ Halsey - Clementine  Through a breakdown or a blackout Would you make out with me Cause I don’t need anyone I just need everyone and then some ✦ Hiyori ✧ Florence + The Machine - Seven Devils Holy water cannot help you now A thousand armies couldn’t keep me out I don’t want your money I don’t want your crown See I’ve come to burn your kingdom down ✧ Michael Buble - Feeling Good (Cover) It’s a new life for me This old world is a new world And a bold world for me Freedom is mine And I know how I feel I’m feeling good ✦ Asahi ✧ Sam Henshaw - Broke If I wasn’t broke Would you spend more time with me Like you said you’d do Tell me what I’m supposed to do Cause the only thing I need Is to be loved by you  ✧ Mikky Ekko - Smile Smile, the worst is yet to come We’ll be lucky if we ever see the sun ✦ Aki ✧ Aly & AJ - Church I did bad things, can’t you see it on my face? I get caught in every lie I need redemption for sins I can’t mention For all the things I can’t reverse For all the places where it hurts ✧ ZZ Ward - Ghost Here the devil call out my name I’ve broken promises, burning flame God knows, darling God knows I gave Now the truth cuts like a knife ✦ Nii ✧ Of Mice and Men - My Understandings  Keep in mind that I’m a sore eye With blurry vision  ✧ Neoni - Outlaw They say that I’m wanted Hear the whispers in the street You better start running Cause nothing scares me  Faster, faster You’re the one I’m after  You built a fortress But I’ll never kiss the ring I’m my own king

✦ Gou ✧ Melanie Martinez - Lunchbox Friends We can be friends if you wanna be But only till the clock hits three I don’t want no lunchbox friends, no I want someone that binds the ends, no Come to my house, let’s die together Friendship that will last forever ✧ Maroon 5 - Come to the Water Come away little light Come away to the darkness Away from the life that you always knew Come away little lamb Come away to the water To the arms that are waiting only for you ✦ Isuzu ✧ Jessie Reyez - NO ONE’S IN THE ROOM  Spent my whole life being graded, being told I’m not enough Being told go find the one and sit and wait for death to come I don’t want to I need to talk to God There’s things I just don’t understand Like who am I when no one’s in the room EMI - Bad Friends Yeah, I got some bad friends No you cannot have them If you wanna talk to them  You talk to me, yeah We don’t fuck around with just anybody, yeah

✦ Takuya ✧ Imagine Dragons - Ready, Aim, Fire Off in the distance, there is resistance Bubbling up and festering Here in the casing Shaking and pacing This is the tunnel’s light Blood in the writing, stuck in the fighting Look through the rifle’s sight ✧ Billie Eilish - you should see me in a crown (acapella) Bite my tongue Bide my time Wait till the world is mine, ocean eyes Count my cards Watch them fall  Blood on a marble wall You should see me in a crown I’m gonna run this nothing town Watch me make ‘em bow One by one ✦ Kinjou ✧ Urban Country - Knife and Stone Tell me, have you ever seen a mirror Mirror in the middle of the forest Just waiting for the rain or the crown I’ve been up for thirty days Someone point to lost and found Ain’t no blood in the temple Just a knife and stone

✦ Mikhail ✧ Elsie Lovelock - Friends on the Other Side (Cover) The cards, the cards The cards will tell The past, the present, and the future as well I got voodoo, I got hoodoo I got things I ain’t even tried And I got friends on the other side I hope you’re satisfied, but if you ain’t Don’t blame me You can blame my friends on the other side ✦ Ryuuji ✧ elbow - Grounds for Divorce I’ve been working on a cocktail Called Grounds for Divorce Down comes him on sticks but then he kicks like a horse There's a hole in my neighborhood Down which of late I cannot help but fall ✧ Mumford and Sons - The Enemy I am not the enemy It isn’t me, the enemy I came and I was nothing So why did you choose to lean on A man you knew was falling? ✦ Nadia ✧ Halsey - Castle (Orchestral Version) They wanna make me their queen  There’s an old man  Sitting on the throne  Saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut I’m headed straight for the castle

THEMES: GROUPS

✦ FREEBIRD ✧ Kaleo - Way Down We Go Oh father, tell me Do we get what we deserve They will run you down Down till you fall They will run you down Down till you crawl Till you can’t crawl no more And way down we go ✦ ROUGH RABBIT ✧  Imagine Dragons - Who We Are Up on the mountain Down in the king's den  It's who we are Doesn't matter if we've gone too far Doesn't matter if it's not okay Doesn't matter if it's not our day ✦ DIAMONDBACK ✧ Florence + The Machine - Bedroom Hymns This is good a place to fall as any We’ll build our alter here  In the wine, the women, the bedroom hymns Such selfish prayers, I can’t get enough I’m not here looking for absolution Because I’ve found myself an old solution

✦ HONEYBLADE ✧ Megan Thee Stallion and Normani - Diamonds I love me this much My pear-shape all dripped up He want me to be a little more lady-like? Come through with my girls and beat your ass on ladies night ✦ BLOODHOUNDS ✧ Angel Haze - The Wolves Nothing left out there for me  I left my fucking heart out at the sea This shit sounds like the danger zone  I’m the big bad wolf  Gonna take the throne 

THEMES: PAIRINGS 

✦ Makoto + Haruka ✧ Phoebe Bridgers - Smoke Signals One of your eyes is always half shut Something happened when you were a kid I didn’t know you then and I’ll never understand why It feels like I did ✧ Radical Face - Welcome Home Peel the scars from off my back I don’t need them anymore I’ve come home ✧ The Track Team - Heart Chakra ✧ Blackmill - Redemption ✦ Sousuke + Rin ✧ Kaleo - Bang Bang (Cover) Seasons came and changed the times I grew up, I called him mine He would always laugh and say: “Remember how we used to play? Bang, bang.” ✧ Zayn - Good Guy I’m not a good guy But I know you’re mine (bang) I know you’re mine (bang, bang) ✧ L'Orchestra Cinématique - Crazy In Love (Instrumental Cover)

✦ Natsuya + Nao ✧ Cosmo Sheldrake - The Moss But have you heard the story Of the rabbit in the moon? Halsey - Colors Your little brother never tells you But he loves you so I hope you make it to the day you’re 28 years old 

✦ Hiyori + Ikuya ✧ Elvis Drew - Where Are You  I been trying to figure out where you from Is it the moon? Is it earth? Is it this place, where nothing is worse?  Nothing can compare to the life we had My dear just grab my hand and let me take you To my wonderland ✧ Swae Lee - Sunflower Some things you just can’t refuse I’m not tryna lose

✦ Isuzu + Gou ✧ Snow Patrol - The Golden Floor I’m a peasant in your princess arms Penniless with only charm

[dialux]

Saw the fic title meme done by @misshoneywheeler- list your last 20 fic titles and answer the questions- because I thought it was very fun to run through my AO3 listing! I’m doing the same thing that she did: including where the title came from for each one. Tagging anyone who wants to play, as usual; this really is very fun!

one burning candle, one wind-whipped flame: The Old Guard fic, a character study of Joe and then Joe and Nicky’s relationship. Title comes from the song “Fires of War” from the video-game Middle Earth: Shadows of War.

here’s to the strongest fighter, here’s to the last survivor: Silmarillion, Earwen, Nerdanel and Anaire go to Middle-Earth to save their children. Title comes from “It’s got my name on it,” by Sarah Reeves.

and i will be nimble and i will be quick; i will overcome all of this: Silmarillion, character study of Lalwen, second daughter of Finwe. Title comes from “I’m not Afraid,” by Tommee Profitt.

oh, how far you are from home: GOT/LOTR Crossover, where Sansa wakes up after her father’s head is cut off to meet Boromir. Title comes from “May it Be,” by Enya.

i imagined a dark world where the stars clamor to be inside us: Silmarillion, character study of Findis, eldest daughter of Finwe. Title comes from the poem by Richard Jackson.

dawn is coming, open your eyes: A study of Percy Weasley after the war. Title comes from Jose Gonzalez’s song, “Stay Alive.”

courage is the passport when your old world disappears: Good Omens modern, human, Leap Year AU. Title comes from the Celtic Woman song, “Isle of Hope, Isle of Tears.”

wait, wait, wait for me: Fleabag fic of the Priest and Fleabag meeting again after they grow old. Title comes from Of Monsters and Men’s song “Little Talks.”

made weak by time and fate, but strong in will: James and Lily Potter survive. Title comes from the poem “Ulysses” by Tennyson.

you are the universe in ecstatic motion: Mehrunisa character study, from Padmaavat. Title comes from Rumi’s poem.

sons of life’s longing for itself: Good Omens story of a Warlock with magical powers. Title comes from the Kahlil Gibran poem, “On Children.”

they say we’re out of control and some say we’re sinners: Aziraphale character study from Good Omens. Title comes from the Sam Smith, “Fire on Fire.”

i’ve been working my hands down to the bones: Ocean’s 8 AU of ASOIAF. Title comes from “Money Run Low.”

a tempest, a cyclone, a goddamned hurricane: Sansa can see ghosts. Title comes from the Natalie Merchant song, “Ophelia.”

fear not for the future; weep not for the past: In which Catelyn tells Jon who his mother is. Title comes from Percy Shelley.

to the overwhelming light surrounding us: King Arthur: Legend of the Sword fic, of Catia (the daughter of Vortigern) who’s brought back to life and falls in love with Arthur. Title comes from the Saturn song, “Sleeping at last.”

and we can see the future and the dreams it’s made of: Jodhaa Akbar AU of ASOIAF, with everyone racebent to be desi, JonxSansa. Title comes from the Mikky Ekko song, “Place for us.”

this is the map of my heart, the landscape after cruelty: Fusion of East of the Sun and West of the Moon and Tam Lin, JonxSansa. Title comes from Richard Siken.

dry your eyes, there’s no cause to weep; the weather is fine and the road isn’t steep: Post-canon fic of Sansa and Jon getting together, from Sansa’s POV. Title comes from Heather Dale’s song, “Each Step.”

i laugh at the concept of life as a simple result of the sun: Sansa tells Jon that he’s an incest baby, modern AU. Title comes from Heather Dale’s song “Hunter.”

1. How many are you happy with?

Most of them! Probably sixteen.

2. How many are… not great?

Four.

3. How many did you scramble for at the last minute?

...all of them.

4. How many did you know before you started writing/creating, or near the beginning?

Absolutely none.

5. How many are quotes from songs or poems?

19!!!

6. How many are other quotes?

One, which... might well be part of a poem. Idk if the Percy Shelley quote’s a poem or not, but if it is then they’re all quotes.

7. Which best reflects the plot of the story/content of the fanwork?

I feel like most of them do, but the one that I keep getting comments about is “a tempest, a cyclone, a goddamned hurricane,” which feels right? I think? Sansa’s very much a storm in human skin in the fic XDD

8. Which best reflects the theme of the story/fanwork?

“Oh, how far you are from home,” feels like a beautiful ode to Sansa in this story. 

9. Which best reflects the character voice of the story/POV of the fanwork?

Again, I feel like most of them do, but the one I’m... happiest about... is the “dawn is coming, open your eyes” title. The entire song really feels so hopeful and so fierce and so desiring- and that’s the mentality that I really want Percy to have throughout/at the end of the story.

10. Which is your favorite?

The Mother Three fic (”here’s to the strongest fighter, here’s to the last survivor”) holds a very special place in my heart right now for the themes of familial love, duty, and sheer courage involved in it.

[go-forth-and-live]

Jukebox! { Jareth! }

Send me “JUKEBOX” for 3-5 songs that remind me of our muses relationship. || Accepting!

Mikky Ekko - Who Are You, Really?

Who, who are you really? And where are you going? I have nothing left to prove 'Cause I have nothing left to lose See me bare my teeth for you See me bare my teeth

Audrey Hepburn - Moon River

Moon river, wider than a mile I'm crossing you in style some day Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way

Bastille - Of the Night

You can put some joy upon my face Oh, sunshine in an empty place Take me too, turn to, and babe I’ll make you stay

Darling Violetta - Sanctuary (Extended Mix)

Kiss me, kill me, till I bleed You are the sun that holds my dreams Can you save me, set me free? You are my sanctuary

Mother Mother - Ghosting

Hey, would it be so bad if I stayed I'm just a ghost out of his grave And I can't make love in my grave I won't put white into your hair I won't make noises in your stairs I will be kind and I'll be sweet If you stop staring straight through me

[veliseraptor]

Quick question, are the titles to the RTC series song lyrics ?

Many of them, yes! A lot of my fic in general is titled for song lyrics or, less frequently, poetry. And because I am trying to distract myself right now, I decided that the thing to do would be to note which fics are titled from which songs. Yes, all 73 of them. Do I have other things to do? Yes. 

I tend to title them in arcs - so, the fics that go together as parts of the same story/part of the same arcs I title from the same song.

Starting at the beginning: I heard you killed your only friend last year, Disarm, the fog won’t lift in your town, Tick Tick Time, The sun no longer shines (on your side), with an untrained voice and Settled (With Questions) are all from Call 911 by Ghost of the Robot, as is (much later) you can buy your other friends (but you can’t buy me). And the series title.

it’s only a paper moon comes from It’s Only a Paper Moon by Ella Fitzgerald; there is love in your body (you can’t hold it in) is Hardest of Hearts by Florence and the Machine, as is the sweetest of words (the bitterest taste), it spills from your skin, only when you hit the ground and when I’m falling I’m at peace. 

further inside than I have ever been is from The Operation by Charlotte Gainsbourg; reflected in someone like me is from Someone Like Me by Ophelia of the Spirits. You Were a Kindness is You Were a Kindness by The National. Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me is from the song of the same name by The Smiths. these little things define us is from Bad Blood by Bastille.

The titles of woven in my soul, This Is My Kingdom Come are from Demons by Imagine Dragons, as is but I am hellbound and it’s what you make.

The Long Way Home is from the song of the same name by Norah Jones. I’ll Keep You (My Dirty Little Secret) is from Dirty Little Secret by The All American Rejects. don’t give it a hand, offer it a soul is from It Will Come Back by Hozier.

Collapse the Light Into Earth, won’t heal given time, won’t let the shadows take their toll, and I won’t cover my head in the dark are all from Collapse the Light Into Earth by The Porcupines.

(hang on) when the water is rising is from Hang On by Plumb, as is your heart’s still beating. I’ve got my love to keep me warm is from the song of the same name by Dean Martin. all the boys I’ve known (and I’ve known some) is from Bei Mir Bistu Shein, specifically the version I first heard by The Andrews Sisters (though it’s been recorded by a lot of people). where will I end up, tonight is from Insomnia by IAMX. the sword alone, the shield forsaken is from Hopeful Hearts by Sarah Slean (a Steve song if ever I’ve heard one). 

DEEP BREATH. don’t care if heaven won’t take me back and are you a saint or a sinner? are both from Angel With a Shotgun by The Cab. to face unafraid the plans that we’ve made and as we dream by the fire are both from Winter Wonderland (any of the many versions, but preferably an older one). you can see planets and stars is from Heaven on Earth by Sinclair. the water is getting colder is from The Thick and the Thin by Imaginary Future. 

we can see the future (and the dreams it’s made of) is from Place for Us by Mikky Ekko. one hand on my throat, and one on your heart is from Don’t Let Me Go by Bandit Heart, as is the mercy covering me and there is a devil in the dark.

the hills on fire for miles and when the terra firma quakes are both from When the World Stops Spinning by Kyler England. everything flows; here comes another new day, for a change of pace, is from Echoes in Rain by Enya. it’s the season of possible miracle cures is from The Atheist Christmas Carol by Vienna Teng. and see you on the other side of the war is from Hamilton, specifically The Story of Tonight (Reprise).

This isn’t getting into oneshot titles. I don’t quite have the energy for that.

I know that the sun is rising is a lyrics title but I don’t remember where from, and I feel like you’re not riding on this wave alone is too but also can’t remember (eta: @thelightofthingshopedfor got it, it’s Tempest by Lucius); same with we’re not the only ones. Other random sources include: The Vivisection Mambo is from the title of a book I saw once; so shall he crucify you is from “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran; comfort those who suffer is Biblical.

[decadencies-a]

also forest n kitty tbh

opening credits: heart out -- the 1975meeting for the first time: little darling -- lewis watsonhey, i kinda like you: moon -- sleeping at lasti’m going to kiss you now: the wolves (act I and II) -- bon iverfalling in love: mothercreep -- FKA twigsyour place or mine: subtle -- active child ft. mikky ekkonaked in bed: money power glory -- lana del reyfirst fight: figure 8 -- fka twigsmaybe we should take a break: smile -- mikky ekkoi want you back: stones around the sun -- lewis watsonwill you marry me: skyline to -- frank oceanwe’re getting older: free -- flumeif you die i’ll go with you: hard feelings/loveless -- lordeend credits: weak -- wet