#support your local trash pls

[bcrbleue]

#bcrbleue: A door closed, locked shut. One girl wanted to see what lay behind. One wanted it closed, but was told to open it. Another saw an open door, though the call of a closed door intrigued her. She opened it and what waited for her was demise. The one told to open it did nothing wrong, except do what was asked of her. Should she have ignored the order? What other way was there? Now, what lays ahead of them all is an abyss and they cannot go back.

An independent mutl-muse, featuring OC and canon characters from the A Song of Ice and Fire universe. ( psd credit. )

PINNED.

[heyimkana]

Sweet Neighbor Yuuta

Pairing: Yuuta Okkotsu x Female Reader

Word Count: 5K (I feel like I should apologize but if you’ve seen my other works, this is considered super short I’m being fr rn)

Summary: Yuuta is your new neighbor, and everyone loves him because of his sweet and kind personality. He has a crush on you, but you’re a married woman, so you can’t reciprocate his feelings the same way. But when your husband starts cheating on you, you can’t help but turn to him for comfort.

Content Warnings: alcohol, swearing, adultery/cheating, age gap (Yuuta is in his early twenties, reader is almost in her thirties), unprotected sex, also Yuuta going down the yandere route at the end I'm not playing so if it's not your cup of tea don't read

A/N: wrote this in one sitting after aleks @yuutito said something about yuuta and older woman that rewired my brain (how dare she went to sleep after casually telling me this like I wasn't going to just just sit there thinking about *redacted*-ing this ver of him in 124352 different positions). i was supposed to be watching my kids playing in my backyard but i wrote this instead. pls don't call child support. this is also supposed to be a drabble 🤡 🔫 i was going to send it to her on discord but a few people were asking if i was dead (girl, only on the inside lol) cause i haven't posted in a while so hi everyone guess who came back from the war (i'll go through my inbox asap i promise ily)

P.S: don't use your brain when you read this cause i certainly didn't use mine when i wrote this only my dick

Yuuta Okkotsu is your new neighbor. 

He lives across the street, and you’re not close to him, not yet. He’s younger than you, much younger than you—a fresh graduate from a reputable university who’s lucky enough to be able to work from home. He doesn’t go out much, but he’s friendly, always leaving good impressions around the neighborhood. Everyone knows Yuuta. Everyone loves Yuuta. 

The first time you asked about him, purely out of curiosity, was when you greeted your neighbor next door, an older woman living alone ever since her late husband passed. She just got home from, what you assumed, another trip to the clinic. You saw him stepping down from her porch after making sure she was okay and bidding her with a polite bow. You traded smiles with him, but he didn’t stop for a conversation. You just saw his face turn scarlet at the sight of you, and he dropped a quick “Hello” before he bolted.

“Who was that?” you asked.

“Oh, he’s our sweet neighbor Yuuta.”

“Sweet neighbor Yuuta,” you laughed a little. “He just moved here like three days ago, and everyone calls him that.”

“Because it’s true!”

“Uh-huh, and what did he do that was so sweet to you?”

“He’s helped me with my chores—washing the dishes, bathing my cat, mowing my backyard. He saw me having trouble crossing the street yesterday, so he offered to take me to the clinic today. Such a sweet boy, that man. Very handsome, too.”

That last part you could agree with. Instantly. 

You see Yuuta occasionally, always by coincidence, like maybe in the morning when you leave the house to put out your trash or grab a newspaper. He always seems like he’s eager to strike up a conversation but gives up before he can, simply because his heart can’t take it. You know he has a crush on you; it’s clear as day. He’s young, and he’s in love. It’s cute. But you’re married and committed, so that’s that. 

You meet him more frequently when he starts going to the same local supermarket. You bumped into him in one of the aisles, with him approaching you first because he saw you struggling to get that ketchup bottle on the top shelf. He’s so polite, and he’s, indeed, very sweet, especially to the elderly, always taking his time to humor them when nobody else seems to pay them any attention. He grabbed the bottle for you, and you ended up chatting with him while waiting in line. He offered to help carry your groceries, and you were thankful because you weren’t sure you could bring everything alone. He walked you to your car, bade you good night, and told you to take care. 

He’s your sweet neighbor Yuuta. 

Things haven’t been going well with your husband. It’s fight after fight after fight.  At first, your relationship became so strained because you couldn’t conceive even after two years of marriage. The truth is, you don’t want to have a baby, not too soon, not when you still want to focus on living your life, but he wants it terribly, and if you want your marriage to work out, there’s no other choice but to try. You’re somehow glad that the universe seemed to work in your favor, at least for now.

You’re unsure if it’s your fault or his—you don’t have the money or time to get yourself tested. Nevertheless, he kept trying, turning your sex life into a string of dull experiments, one after another. It didn’t come as a surprise that after a while, he gave up. What did come as a surprise was when he started cheating. 

You have reasons to back your assumptions from all the evidence you’ve found along the way. The lipstick stain on his shirt, the hint of female perfume in his car, the way he never left his phone out of reach, terrified of you looking into it. It’s enough. 

It’s Friday night. Your husband won’t be home until late. Still got a bunch of stuff to do at work, he said, which is another way of saying, I got my secretary sucking my dick since you barely even bother anymore. Which is true.

You’re tired of him. You’re tired of having sex with him where he only cares about him cumming inside you and nothing more. You’re so tired of fighting. And now that he's cheating on you, you grow too tired to care. About him. About your marriage. About everything.

So, you head down to a bar one night just to distract yourself. And there he is again. Yuuta. Sitting by himself, watching a football game on the big screen with a beer bottle in hand. He looks rather… lonely, a new face that makes your heart twitch a bit. His solemn look makes him more gorgeous in a way, more mature, more mysterious, and girls love that, don’t they? A slightly dangerous aura to a very sweet face, unapproachable yet inviting.

But that doesn’t last too long because the moment he sees you, his face brightens entirely. He smiles, standing up from his seat to greet you, and you meet him halfway. You end up chatting all night. He’s a fantastic listener, and he’s so kind and thoughtful with each word, comforting you the way you need the most. It’s embarrassing that you nag about your husband like this, but he seems genuinely interested in helping you convey your emotions, and you just can’t stop. It feels so liberating.

Yuuta buys you your favorite drink but also reminds you not to get too much alcohol in your system. You begin to trust him, knowing for certain he won’t take any advantage of you. He walks you home right after. It’s true that he lives right across your house, but he makes sure you get inside safely. He leaves only after he sees you close and lock the door behind you. You spy on him from the window, wanting to see what he does after you’re gone. You see him rubbing a hand over his face, flushed from ears to neck, looking extremely happy that he got to spend time with you. 

He’s so cute, you think to yourself. Like a high school lovesick boy, kind of cute.

Yuuta then notices your husband’s missing car, meaning that you’re alone in the house. He looks sad on your behalf, which is so kind of him to think about your feelings that much. Then he turns upset, as if he was thinking, how dare he stay out so late, leaving her without protection like this. Looking visibly worried, he then texts you, “Let me know if you need anything, okay? My door is open for you anytime.” You smile and promptly reply to him with, “That’s so kind of you, thank you.” 

He’s your sweet neighbor Yuuta.

These friendly sorts of private meetings between you and him go on for a while. Your husband often arrives late, usually drunk out of his mind or too tired to stay for a chat, and he heads straight to bed without even giving you a goodnight kiss. It hurts, but it’s fine. The more your husband breaks your heart, the harder Yuuta will try to mend it and make it whole again. And he did. Every night, when you’re lucky enough to see him, you’ll feel like a heavy weight is lifted from your chest. You feel… happy, even in this terrible situation, and it’s all because of him. 

You usually hang out with him at the bar, but sometimes you don’t feel like going for a ten-minute drive, and you choose to just cross the road and knock your fist against his door. No matter what hour you visit, day or night, for a morning latte or evening tea, he always greets you with the prettiest smile.

He’s your sweet neighbor Yuuta.

Weeks passed by, and now you spend most of your free time chatting with him, sitting on the couch in his living room, and talking about yourself more than you ever did with your husband. He likes listening to you talk about yourself, and he tells you that you shine so brightly when you talk about the things you’re passionate about. He always stammers out his praises, looking like he’s seconds away from combusting into flames just from calling you beautiful or something. He’s so young, so inexperienced yet passionate when it comes to love and romance, and it shows.

You ask questions about himself, too, and you can understand why it’s addicting for him to watch you speak, because the second he does that, he’s breathtaking. 

You find out that he likes the things you like, he’s watched the movies you’ve seen, and he’s read your favorite books. It’s not just a coincidence, is it? Maybe you’re a match made in heaven. But even so, nothing happens. He’s too respectful, and he makes you respect yourself. You’re married, and he’s a close friend of yours. That’s it.

He’s just your sweet neighbor Yuuta.

One morning, you find a bouquet sitting on your porch. Oh, right, today’s our anniversary. Your husband has this habit of sending you your favorite flowers on your anniversary. He does this every year, which is nice of him, but you really didn’t think he’d send you one this year, seeing how he barely exchanged more than three sentences with you. So now that you receive his flowers, you’re beginning to think, oh, maybe he’s trying to fix things between us. You’re not sure if you want that, though, not anymore. Most of your heart already belongs to someone else, which is terrible since you’re married, but you can’t help it. 

You pick up the flowers anyway; too pretty to be thrown away. You open the card attached to it. I will love you forever, it says, written in his handwriting. The way he wrote the letter f is a little different. Looks like he wrote in a rush, you presume. Either that, or he just didn't care enough. And it’s whatever; you didn’t expect much anyway. You appreciate the thought until your eyes land on the name he wrote.

That’s not my fucking name.

He must have sent flowers to his secretary at the same time and had his card switched. That fucking cheater.

You thought you didn’t care about him anymore, but God, now you’re livid.

Yuuta shows up at the perfect place and at the perfect time. He invites you over to have dinner together at his place. “J-just, you know, as friends,” he says, unconsciously giving you the confirmation that he does not think of you as a friend. Not at all.

So you come over in a beautiful red dress later that evening, and he stares at you, completely in awe, for a good three seconds. “You, umm—” He blushes madly, his head so full of steam he could barely think. “You look like… like a goddess.”

“Thank you,” you simper. That was so corny for him to say, but he meant every word, which makes it endearing. “You look amazing, too.” And he is. God, he looks so handsome in his black buttoned-down shirt, and his parted hair, and his sweet, sweet smile.

I want to fuck the shit out of him.

It’s the monster inside you who speaks it. The part of you that’s been neglected for so long, that’s never been touched in the way you wanted to. And it’s screaming, begging for Yuuta to love you.

But no. We’re friends. We’re just friends, aren’t we, Yuuta?

Yuuta cooks, too, apparently. Every dish looks fucking delicious, and everything else is perfect. The table setting decorated with your favorite flowers. The scented candles with your favorite fragrance set up romantically on top of the cozy fireplace. The soft music playing in the background, a piano instrumental of your favorite song. It’s like a date. A celebration. Like something you should’ve had with your husband today.

“You did all of this on purpose, didn’t you?”

“Hmm?”

You gesture to your surroundings. “We’ve read the same books and watched the same movies. Okay, fine, maybe we have the same taste. But this song, those flowers, everything you’ve set up in this room, you did all of these for me, didn’t you?”

He pauses before he tucks his chin, avoiding your gaze. “I just… wanted to make you happy,” he confesses bashfully. “Is it… Is it too much? Do you not like it?”

“Yuuta, of course, I love it.” You stroke his arm, washing his worry away. “I just… I’ve never had someone care about me this much before…”

He melts under your touch, and there’s so much he wants to say, but his lips form nothing but a sad smile. He caresses your face with tender hand, his fingertips quivering slightly when they land on your cheek. His heart must be beating like crazy right now, you smile to yourself, leaning further into his touch to soothe him.

“I would do this every day for you if you let me,” he whispers, promise behind each word. “I would make you happy, so happy you’d forget what sadness feels like. What loneliness feels like.”

That stirs something inside your chest. “And what do you want in return for that?” You slide up a hand, testing his limit.

He stops your hand by covering it with his own. For a second, just for a brief second, he emits a different feeling. There’s intensity behind his gaze that burns you as if he wanted you all to himself. And that’s understandable. No man, especially one who’s so desperately in love like him, would want to share his woman with someone else, but he knows the situation they’re in, doesn’t he? It’s just not possible for you to be together, not now, not completely. Maybe that’s why he switches back in a blink, smiling until his eyes crinkle adorably. “Nothing,” he answers. “As long as we can be friends like this, it’s more than enough for me.”

He’s a terrible liar, you think, slightly amused. It’s cute how he tries so hard to conceal his feelings and you still can read him like an open book.

The food tastes as amazing as it looks, even down to the last bite. You don’t talk about the bouquet, afraid that you’ll ruin the mood, but Yuuta is always so attentive when it comes to you. He asks you what happened, and he hugs you the second he sees tears brimming in your eyes. You’re not sad. You’re fucking angry. And thank God Yuuta is there to let you vent your frustrations. You go as far as telling him almost every little shitty thing your husband did to you behind your back, as well as the slutty secretary that’s been sleeping with him for money. It feels relieving to finally say their names out loud, with so much hatred, so much rage, and to have Yuuta respond with, “No matter how pretty she is, she’s nothing compared to you. Your husband doesn’t deserve you. If I were him, I would’ve—” he stops himself, just in time, flustered and mortified under your gaze.

You’re older. You’re older than him by eight, no, nine years even. You know what’s going to happen if you encourage him to say the words he’s been dying to say. You know what it’s going to do to your relationship. But fuck that. If there were one man in this world who knew how to treat you like you deserve…

It’s your sweet neighbor Yuuta.

So, by the time the two of you move to the couch with some wine in your system, you lean forward, letting your fingers trace the protruding vein on the back of his hand. His eyes widen at the way your dress does very little to hide your cleavage, but he averts his gaze right away, being the gentleman that he is. But tonight, you want him to be the opposite of that. You don’t want him to be sweet; you want him to let his desire win. There’s a monster hiding inside him, something much more terrible than your own. You sometimes caught its glimpse when he thought you weren’t looking his way. The amount of obsession that fogged his eyes, his fixation over you, turning his sapphire blue eyes so dark, so deep, so intense, like he wanted to have you locked up in his room, tied up and used and thoroughly fucked until you found no strength to stand and no will to escape. It should’ve been a scary thought, but it wasn’t. It was… exciting.

“I want to hear it, Yuu…” Seduction lays thickly in your voice as you lay a gentle hand on his cheek, guiding his eyes back to you. You stare up at him from underneath your lashes with this look in your eyes that makes his breath hitch in his throat. “If you were my husband…” You wet your lip, your tongue a sinful dance to his eyes. “What would you do to make me feel…” You purposely drop your gaze to his lips, letting him catch your message. “…loved?”

You watch him gulp, goosebumps breaking on his skin. You watch his eyes fall to see the way you rub your thumb over the bumps on his knuckles. You watch them turn half-lidded as they linger a second too long on your lips. And you watch him break all control he has over himself, and you let him devour you the way you’ve been wanting him to.

He’s your sweet neighbor Yuuta.

And he tastes even sweeter with your cum on his tongue.

It’s happening too fast, yet it feels like it’s not going fast enough. He starts by holding you by the face, slotting his lips against yours, passionate and gentle at the same time. He pulls away for a moment to see your reaction, and when you kiss him back, he lets out this sinful moan that causes your stomach to churn.

He’s so fucking sexy. Even without trying, he is. 

In the next second, he’s eating you out on the couch, spreading your legs, and kneeling on the floor with his head trapped between your thighs, wanting to get as much of you as you can give him. When his tongue circles your clit, and he’s moaning against your heat, it feels so good you almost run away, not used to experiencing this much pleasure. It’s scary how easily he plays with your body. How fast he can tell which part of yours likes to be licked, which ones want to be sucked, and which ones want to be fucked. He moves agonizingly slow, but each touch feels so right that you find no reason to complain. He’s sure to take his time with you, to make you feel loved in the way a wife should be when her husband makes love to her.

He takes hold of your thighs, holding you tight, but you want it even tighter to the point of leaving bruises all over your skin so you can show them to your husband later. His gaze is intense, constantly keeping his eyes on you. Your expression turns him on, making him ache so bad within the constraints of his pants that his eyes turn watery, desperate for release. He’s too ashamed to ask you to touch him, and maybe he doesn’t want to be touched, not yet, he just wants to focus on pleasuring you for now. So he keeps sucking your clit into his mouth, and he slides one hand into his own jeans to grip his cock tightly. He fucks his fist as fast as he fucks your hole with his tongue, groaning, whining, whimpering against your cunt. He’s pathetic. You love it.

You push him down to the carpeted floor after you drench his mouth and chin with your juice, and you push his fingers, coated with his own cum, into your mouth. He curses once at the sight, and it’s so sexy when he does it. After all this time hearing him talk so softly, so innocently, hearing a low, “Fuck, you're making me lose my mind,” tumbling off his lips is such a fucking turn-on. 

You tear yourself away from your dress before you rip open the buttons of his shirt, not caring if the two of you are in the middle of his living room, visible for anyone to see if they dare take a peek through the window. You wish the light in the room were brighter. It would’ve been a lovely show for your husband if he came home to see you riding another man’s cock, using Yuuta to your own satisfaction, and watching him make you cum the way he couldn’t. 

Yuuta, oblivious to your thoughts, is gasping out your name, one arm hiding his beet-red face while his other one is gripping your thigh. “W-wait,” he flinches, his breathing tattered. “You’re going—too fast—”

You know you are, but it’s so good that you can’t stop. His cock rubs your walls so deliciously as if it was made solely for this purpose. You cum so fast, so hard, and he follows almost right away, unable to hold it even longer when he sees you looking like that when you cummed. 

Your body is still trembling when he suddenly lifts you off his cock and guides you to his face. “Ride me again,” he says, begging. “Please, Angel, I want to taste you again.” And you do, sitting on his face and letting him lick, suck, and lap at everything that seeps out of you.

He’s staring at your swollen clit, licking his lips and seemingly dazed as he rubs his thumb softly over it. “I’m sorry I came inside you,” he says, genuinely feeling guilty about it despite you giving him permission to.

You shiver, still feeling so sensitive for receiving so much stimulation at once. “It’s okay. I can’t get pregnant anyway,” you laugh it off. “I haven’t gotten myself checked yet, but we’ve been trying for two years, and nothing has happened yet, so…”

His gaze darkens. “I see,” is the only thing he utters before he scoops you in his arms, carrying you to the bedroom. You’re surprised; you really thought that was it. Both of you came twice already in, like, fifteen minutes. That’s enough, isn’t it? But he’s still young, and he has a lot of energy that leaves him insatiable. If you let him, he’ll have you for the entire night.

It’s not a bad thing, not at all.

So you kneel in front of him on the bed, bite the corner of your lip to drive him even more insane, and stroke him slowly with your hand. “You still want to fuck me?”

“Yes,” he breathes out, the muscles in his abdomens tautening. “Yes, Ma’am, please…”

Ma’am? You almost laugh. How does he keep getting cuter and cuter?

“Okay.” You reward him with a little kiss on the head of his cock, robbing a soft whimper out of his mouth. Lying down on the bed, you spread your legs, sliding two fingers down your body to do the same to your cunt. “Come here and love me again, Yuu.”

He obliges in a split second. Yuuta has so much love to give, and he lets his mouth, his tongue, and his cock paint a perfect picture on your body.

Everything feels like heaven until he suddenly stops in the middle of thrusting his hips, earning himself an impatient whine. His blue eyes have lost their warm, pretty light. They’re as dark as the night, but lust and greed are the perfect colors for him. He sits on his knees, resting your ankles on his shoulders, breathing heavily. 

“Yuuta?”

He’s not listening, too captivated by the way his tip slides in and out so easily. You’re so fucking wet for him; it’s embarrassing, but Yuuta would take a picture of you like this in a heartbeat, with your wedding ring still wrapped around your finger and his cock sheathed deep inside you, should you allow him to.

He splays his hand over your stomach, giving a little pressure to your womb. You squirm, suddenly feeling like you no longer have control over anything, over him, not like the way you did before. It’s frightening and thrilling at the same time. “Yuuta, what are you—” Your jaw turns slack at the sensation when he thrusts inside, just once, just to see how far it goes within your walls. He’s so hard and thick and throbbing that you could practically feel him poking from inside of your stomach. And perhaps he’s thinking the same thing, his eyes glistening when he feels a bulge forming under his palm. He swallows. He looks… hungry.

“You said you couldn’t get pregnant,” he says, running a tongue across his lower lip, his eyes still fixated on the way you’re taking him so well, all stretched out and tight around him. “You know what I think?” He pulls himself out completely, shivers in his breath. “I think you’re wrong.” He slams his hips forward so abruptly, and with so much force, you have one hand shooting past your head to keep a safe distance away from the headboard. 

“Yuuta—” You gasp out, struggling to match his rhythm. “Wait—”

He only smiles a little, chuckles a little. He’s so far gone. He leans forward until you’re pressed chest to chest, folding you in half before he laces his fingers together with yours. “I think you can get pregnant.” He moves closer to your ear, whispering with his lips caressing your lobe, “And I’m going to show you how.”

He fucks the breaths out of you, swallowing each cry with his mouth, embracing you so tightly you can feel his heart beating against yours. “I’m sorry,” he pants, “It hurts, doesn’t it? I—” He’s interrupted with a low groan, feeling you clenching around him.“—really am sorry—” He smashes his lips against yours, smothering you with his kisses, too. “I know I’m being too rough, but I can't—”  He has one hand gripping the top of his headboard, giving him more support to drive his hips even deeper. “I can’t—stop—” He fucks you again, and again, harder each time until you find yourself unable to make sounds. “You’re so good... You feel so good around me... My angel…” You’re being folded, handled, trapped, and he fucks you until you’re drained, until you’re filled, until he’s spent. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... Just a little bit more..." He kisses your forehead and your cheek to soothe you down, cradling your head as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. His hips start to move erratically. “Don’t ever leave me… I will love you forever, so—ah, God—” He chokes out a sob when he feels you spasming around him again, reeling in another wave of orgasm that hit you so intensely, you see white.

It takes him a little over an hour until he finally lets you go. For now, at least.

But once he gives you a chance to breathe, he cleans you up so gently, dabbing a warm towel over your skin, peppering kisses as soft as butterfly wings down your back, your thighs, your chest, before ending his journey at your stomach. He rubs the supple flesh of your belly and smiles, completely satisfied after giving you his everything. And it scares you a little bit because… You might really end up getting pregnant this time.

“I have to go before he comes home,” you say, feeling your body ache terribly when you try to raise yourself off the bed. They’re not shown vividly yet, but there will be bruises in the morning in places you’re not sure you can cover. 

Yuuta hugs you from the side when you barely have one foot on the floor, whispering against the bare skin of your hip, “I’m not letting you go.”

It makes you happy. You feel so wanted, so loved, even after all the affection he gave you all night. The truth is, you don’t want to leave. Ever. To walk into your own home after experiencing what heaven feels like… It would be torturous.

“I wish I could stay with you, too.”

“You do?” He looks up with big, round eyes, hope residing in each one of them. “Would you stay with me forever?”

“If I could,” you reply and it’s true. God, if only you could stay forever with him, let him love you this way, forever. That would be perfect, wouldn't it?

“That makes me happy…” He takes both of your hands, kissing you on each wrist before he does the same to your palms. “That makes me so happy…” 

It tickles, so you laugh a little. He makes the same sweet sound, the sound of a boy in love. 

“I really need to go, though…” You whisper, hypnotized when he starts pushing your digit past his lips. It’s warm and wet inside his mouth, waking up the butterflies in your stomach. He keeps his eyes on you, looking so sensual as he sucks around your finger, enveloping it from base to tip. “Yuuta…”

“I understand.” He pulls away, ending it with a kiss. He seems disheartened, his smile doesn't shine as bright anymore and it hurts you. "I guess you left me with no choice."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He returns your embrace, just one more time before you have to let him go. “Can you turn around for me, please? I want to give you something,” he softly smiles. “A present. It will be quick, I promise.” 

You do as he says, excited at the thought of it. What will he give you? Knowing him and how he went through so much effort to prepare a dinner for two friends, you just know it would be something incredibly romantic. Yuuta kisses your nape, open-mouthed and lingering. You nibble on your lip to suppress your moan as he trails his lips from between your shoulder blades down to your spine. 

“Yuuta,” you sigh, squeezing your thighs together. You’re aching for him again, and it’s dangerous. Your husband can come anytime soon. “I know what you want, and really, I wish I could stay,” you say from the bottom of your heart, looking over your shoulder to see him, and you’re immediately answered by a kiss. He presses his chest to your spine, one hand cupping half of your neck and your jaw to keep you in place so he can deepen the kiss. His mouth moves with fervor, filling you up with desire, and if it weren’t for the sound of your husband’s car moving into your driveway, you would’ve let him take you there for another hour or two.

“I need to leave. Now.” You break away to gather your clothes quickly. Except you can’t.

You can’t move your hands.

Robbed out of your balance, you fall face-first to the floor. Your breath catches, your heart plummeting to your stomach when you realize you have your hands tied behind your back. You feel something rough grazing against your skin. There’s a rope ensnaring your wrists together, and it’s digging painfully into your flesh every time you struggle to break free. 

Panic rises quickly to your chest. You look up, your body froze with terror at the sight of him smiling at you. 

He’s not your sweet neighbor Yuuta. Not anymore.

This is the monster you caught a glimpse of before, in full form. His handsome features suddenly feel unrecognizable, not when you can no longer witness the warmth in his eyes.

What is happening? You breathe fast, frightened beyond your mind. Why is he doing this?

“I told you I’m not letting you go,” he says, walking slowly toward you. With every step he takes, your urge to escape grows bigger.

The second the dread sinks in, you part your lips to scream for help, but he clasps a hand over your mouth just in time. “Sshh shhh shhh,” he whispers, bringing you back to your feet. “We wouldn’t want your husband to find out, would we?” 

You try to kick and toss your body around, but he’s strong, much stronger than you could ever imagine him to be. From your peripheral vision, you see him taking out a syringe from a drawer behind him, fitted with a hollow needle to inject the clear liquid into your skin. You feel your heart pounding in your throat, your scream muffled as he sinks it into your skin. “There, there. Off you go, honey,” he whispers in your ear, as you begin to lose your will to fight. Your consciousness slowly wanes away with each second passing by. “I’m so sorry, Sweetheart. It’s only scary at the beginning, I promise.” He tosses the syringe away, now empty. “Oh, I almost forgot to ask. Did you like the card I gave you?”

The card? What card?

Oh.

Oh, no.

“I’m sorry for tricking you like that,” he says with a little pout. “Truly, I am. I didn’t want to lie to you, but I had to do something to push you over the edge. I knew you liked me too from the start, but you wouldn’t make the first move. You kept staying faithful even when your husband was cheating on you like that. I admire you for that,” he sighs, utterly smitten by you, but only for a second before his tone drops. “But I was getting impatient, you see. And I knew you were, too. I watched your favorite movies. I read your favorite books. I learned everything about you and did everything you liked, but you still wouldn’t leave your husband for me. So you left me with no choice. I have to make you understand,” he slides his hand up your stomach, passing the valley between your breasts before he chooses to linger there, squeezing, teasing, pleasing. “That no one can touch you like I do. No one can love you like I do.”

You can feel him kissing your neck, licking a stripe up from your collarbone to the spot below your ear. “It was quite tricky copying his handwriting like that. There’s one letter I still can’t do very well even now. But it was enough to trick you, so I think everything’s fine in the end,” he chuckles, the sound filling your chest with horror, though you could barely register it now, not with the drug flowing in your system.

“You asked me what I would do to make you feel loved if I were your husband.” He carries you closer to the window, letting you see, with all the little power you have left, your husband closing the door of his car. Yuuta embraces you from behind, his hands tangled around your waist as he lets you rest your head on his shoulder. “I’m gonna show it to you.” You watch your husband make his way to your porch, oblivious to what’s happening in the dark room across the street. “I’m gonna love you, Angel. I will love you forever. With all my heart. And I’m gonna take my time. I’ll be so thorough with you that once I’m done, you won’t be able to spend a second of your life without me.” 

Your husband closes his front door, and with it goes your last chance of escaping, if there was even one.

You start losing strength in your legs, in your arms, but you’re still able to cry, and so you do just that. It won’t help you, nothing will help you, no one will help you, and no one will know what he’s doing to you, not when everyone thinks so fondly of him. 

“Oh, Sweetheart, don’t cry.” He kisses your tears away, landing an even softer one on your temple. “Don’t be afraid of me, my love. After all, it’s just me.” He meets your eyes in the reflection of his window, smiling with his hand holding the front of your neck.

“Your sweet neighbor Yuuta.”

***

[notetaeker]

SUPPORTING PALESTINE / VOTING A 3RD PARTY CANDIDATE:

US CITIZENS PLS READ:

Since Biden and Trump are both trash, I feel like voters who care about Palestine will inevitably be stuck between not voting at all or voting for a 3rd party candidate. Let me help you sort some of that out some possible MISCONCEPTIONS:

'Voting for a third party will get a republican in power. Rather than break up the democratic vote and get Trump in power again, I'd rather take the safe route and vote for genocide joe' I hope reading the statement out loud yourself will bring you to your senses. Voting Biden this time around means continuing genocide with your OWN hands. Re-electing someone means you approve of their actions in their previous term and would like them to continue.

But isn't voting for a 3rd party candidate the same as voting for Trump, since you're just making the democratic candidate lose votes? No. Let's say I am a democrat and I vote a 3rd party candidate, and because of that, the democratic candidate loses by a small margin. That makes a statement: "If we had taken our voters who are anti-genocide seriously, we wouldn't have had this loss. Hey maybe next time, if we want this group's votes, we should take their claims more seriously, maybe then we can get their votes." Those running for congress will take notice of this too since they're also trying to get elected. This is not the same as voting for trump, which sends the message of 'I support Trump and his policies' Will this mean we might suffer another Trump presidency though? Possibly, but It's a long game we're fighting: 75 years of ethnic cleansing + American support of genocide is going to take time and strategy to dismantle. If we are disturbed about Trump being president, we must then focus our energy into the local congressional races. Having a democratic majority congress can subdue the effects of a Trump presidency.

'I don't support either Biden or Trump so I won't vote at all. That'll show them!' In America, if you don't vote, you don't count. The side with the majority of votes WILL win, whether its 100 ppl voting or the whole country voting. Not voting doesn't show anything! The ONLY way to show resistance/displeasure with candidates is if you show that: "YES I'm a voter (that could have voted for you if you supported Palestine), BUT since you support genocide, you just lost that potential vote." On the other hand, If you do not vote at all, the message elected officials are hearing is: "People who oppose the genocide are not part of elections. They don't affect whether I get elected or not, so why should I listen to their concerns?" Remember, the goal of every politician is re-election. Without being elected, they can't achieve any of their goals. And so they will listen to those who are helping them get elected, whether that's through money, or votes.

LASTLY. LISTEN UP. You might thing the presidential election is the most important but the REAL IMPORTANT ELECTIONS ARE THE LOCAL CONGRESSIONAL ONES. Congress members ( NOT the president) are the ones whose job it is to listen to the people. If you truly care about Palestine, make sure to support the VERY FEW congress-ppl who have showed their support for a ceasefire. Get them re-elected and show the people with power that- the other side might have money but we have VOTING POWER. So if they want to get elected by us, they MUST address our concerns.

TLDR:

[chaoticpiglinwitch]

Terran

Pronouns: Any, She/they works but also seen used he/they

Domains: Agriculture, Nature, Pentiful crops, Protector of Farms/earth, Abundance, Knowledge, Flowers, Water/Rainfall, Farm Animals, Child Birth/Protector of children, Herbalism, Protector of small settlements, homes and wanderers. Baking, small parties/gatherings. Morning sunrises

Depictions: Has 2 different forms, more Bull/Cow form and more human. Has mid-dark brown curly long hair in a flowy long dress with off the shoulder sleeves (made with flower petals). Taller in height, wearing some jewellery (ring, bangles, and simple necklace. Cow bull ring in cow form). Holding a basket of flowers, has flowers blooming her hair, and it changes with the seasons.

Consorts: has spouse

Family Members: Syren (raised not birth)

Attendants: Syren, Prime,

Epithets: "Mother Herd" She would help farmers in flocks and farming. Being a protective mothering figure, she would be followed by herds of animals and children.

"Hearty Hearth" Terran would help bake and cook food and offerings would be left in kitchen or at the doorways of farm houses.

"Lady Horn with tea leaves" She would have tea parties and small gatherings with other gods and spirits, they would be offered a cup of tea at tea parties of villagers or morning tea drinkers. Leaving them tea is said to be good luck, allowing you to have more abundant community living and having their protection.

"Iron Bull", "Bull of the Home" and "Ringing Bell of Lady Bull" These are her titles for she was invoked for protection of the home and settlements. It was believed that ringing bells at sunset would inshore that Terran would stand guard of doorways, barns. Sometimes it was believed that she helped Iron golems protect towns and helped them heal.

Mobs/Symbols: Sunflowers, Fish, Cows, dogs, short haired cats, sunrise,

Colors: Brown, Green, Yellow, Pale pink

Herbs/Incense: Sunflower, Cinnamon, any floral, tulips, roses, earthy scents, rosemary, lily of valley, thyme, frankincense, lavender, garden sage, Basil,

Offerings:

Bread

Fish

Tea/tea parties. love fruit and floral tea

Cow imagery

Flowers, vases with flowers , sunflowers, and tulips are her favourites.

Any music or piece of art

Honey

Children's books, toys, stuffies, educational studies

Baking goods

Reading books

Honouring her wife, syren, prime

Spending time outside

Collect rain water

Watching the sunrise

Pressed or dried flowers

Devotions:

Animal and Earth activism, earth education, learning about recycling. Spending with animals or pets.

Watching movies and documentaries with them

Doing your homework, studying anything lol, learning herbalism.

Teaching, going to class, and supporting your local teachers and schools.

Baking cookies, bread, and more.

Supporting your physical and mental health

Supporting children and their rights. Working in childcare, child programs, or child protection

Going to tea shops, hosting tea parties, and small gatherings with friends and family.

Joining your local community farm/gardens or school gardens. Looking after bees

Dancing in the rain, drink water

Making playlists, playing music with her, and singing songs.

Looking after a plant or garden

Playing minecraft, farming for her. Farming simulators in general

Volunteering at shelters

Wearing sun screen, sun glasses, picking up trash outside.

Favours: Herbalists, adventurers/explorers, Nature lovers, Herdpeople, dog lovers, teachers, students, gardeners, farmers, child workers, bakers, librarians.

Rules/Guidelines:

Don't eat cows or honor/give thanks to animal after eating.

Pick up trash/rubbish outside pls

Be helpful with animals (if you can and are financially able to do so)

Take care of the earth

[gardenreviewus]

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By selecting eco-friendly options, you not only contribute to a healthier planet but also enjoy a thriving garden filled with vibrant life. From organic seeds to biodegradable pots, your choices make a difference in supporting sustainable practices for future generations. Organic Seeds and Plants Between the array of options available for your garden, organic seeds and plants stand out as a responsible choice. Growing from organic seeds means you're fostering biodiversity and reducing the need for harmful pesticides and fertilizers. You can nurture your garden while supporting practices that prioritize the earth's health. Biodegradable Pots For your planting endeavors, consider using biodegradable pots that break down over time, enriching the soil as they do. These pots come in various materials such as coconut coir, recycled paper, or bioplastics, providing a sustainable alternative to traditional plastic pots. It's delightful to think that by opting for biodegradable pots, you can simplify the planting process. Once your seedlings outgrow their pots, you simply plant them in the ground along with the pot. This not only minimizes transplant shock but also ensures that harmful plastics don't linger in your soil. Enjoy the peace of mind that comes from knowing your gardening practices support the environment while fostering healthy plant growth!Water Conservation Techniques Your garden can thrive with water conservation techniques that help you keep your plants healthy while minimizing water waste. By implementing various strategies, you can ensure your green space remains vibrant even in dry spells. Techniques like rainwater harvesting and drip irrigation systems can greatly enhance your garden's sustainability while reducing your environmental footprint. Rainwater Harvesting About the process of collecting and storing rainwater can transform your gardening experience. By setting up a simple rain barrel system, you can capture runoff from your roof and use it to nourish your plants. This not only conserves municipal water but also allows you to harness natural resources to keep your garden flourishing. Drip Irrigation Systems An efficient way to deliver water directly to the roots of your plants is through drip irrigation systems. This technique minimizes evaporation and runoff while ensuring that every drop counts towards your garden's health. Indeed, drip irrigation systems are not just a smart choice for conserving water; they also save you time and effort. This system provides a consistent and measured flow of water, reaching the areas of your garden that need it most. By precisely targeting plant roots, you'll notice healthier growth and vibrant blooms, all while using significantly less water than traditional irrigation methods. Embracing drip irrigation allows you to foster a sustainable garden that conserves resources and promotes a healthy ecosystem.Eco-Friendly Pest Control Solutions Unlike conventional pest control methods that often rely on harsh chemicals, eco-friendly pest control solutions embrace natural strategies that protect your garden and the environment. By implementing sustainable practices, you can manage pests effectively while ensuring the health of your plants and surrounding ecosystem. The key is to choose methods that deter pests without harming beneficial species or polluting the soil and waterways. Natural Pest Repellents At home, you can create effective natural pest repellents using everyday ingredients. Mixtures of garlic, chili powder, and important oils can work wonders in keeping unwanted critters at bay without the adverse effects of synthetic chemicals. Spraying these solutions on your plants can act as a deterrent, allowing your garden to flourish and remain healthy. Beneficial Insects for Your Garden Among the most effective pest control allies are beneficial insects, which play a vital role in maintaining a balanced garden ecosystem. By attracting these helpful bugs, you can effectively combat the pests that threaten your plants.

A diverse range of beneficial insects, such as ladybugs, lacewings, and predatory wasps, can actively manage pest populations in your garden. You can attract these helpful allies by planting a variety of flowering plants and providing habitats for them to thrive. Additionally, you can create a welcoming environment with minimal disturbance, allowing these natural predators to flourish and help keep your garden pest-free. Embracing these friendly insects not only safeguards your plants but also fosters a richer biodiversity in your outdoor space.Maintaining Your Eco-Friendly Equipment Many gardeners often overlook the maintenance of their eco-friendly tools, but proper care can significantly extend the life of your equipment. Regular cleaning removes dirt and debris, while promptly addressing rust can prevent further damage. Storing tools in a dry place, away from harsh weather, will also keep them in tip-top shape. By giving your equipment the attention it deserves, you contribute to a sustainable garden and minimize waste in the long run. Best Practices for Longevity On your journey to maintain your eco-friendly gardening tools, consider implementing a few best practices. Always clean your tools after each use to prevent dirt buildup and corrosion. Lubricate moving parts to ensure smooth operation, and check for wear and tear regularly. Additionally, avoid leaving tools exposed to the elements, as proper storage can make a world of difference in their durability. Repairing vs. Replacing Any gardener will face the decision of whether to repair or replace a piece of equipment at some point. It's vital to evaluate the condition and functionality of your tools before making a choice. If repairs are manageable and cost-effective, fixing your equipment not only saves money but also supports sustainable gardening practices. Indeed, choosing to repair rather than replace your gardening tools fosters a mindset of sustainability. Many tools can be fixed with simple repairs, such as tightening screws, replacing blades, or restoring handles, allowing you to continue using them without contributing to landfill waste. This choice not only helps you save money but also encourages a deeper connection with your equipment as you nurture its longevity. Opting to repair can significantly reduce your carbon footprint, making every gardening activity a step towards a healthier planet.Final Words Hence, embracing eco-friendly gardening equipment can significantly enhance your gardening experience while promoting sustainable practices. By choosing tools made from sustainable materials and utilizing energy-efficient methods, you can cultivate a beautiful garden that benefits both you and the planet. Every small step you take contributes to a healthier environment, allowing you to enjoy the fruits of your labor guilt-free. So go ahead, invest in eco-friendly options and watch your garden—and your impact on the earth—thrive! https://gardenreview.us/ecofriendly-gardening-equipment-for-sustainable-practices/?feed_id=190&_unique_id=672d926377893 https://gardenreview.us/ecofriendly-gardening-equipment-for-sustainable-practices/?feed_id=190&_unique_id=672d926377893

[ofcadash]

“We’re dying,” the Commander explained, sternly and without question. “But we can decide how. Many don’t get that choice.” The dwarf turned to the still doors of the Chantry, keenly aware of the dangers that lurked on the other side. Waiting, preparing, for her, but only for her. One small life lost for how many saved? “If he wants me,” she replied, pulling one dagger at a time from their sheaths, “he can have me.”

naraka cadash. // ind. dwarf inquisitor. // loved by luci. **personals do not reblog!!**

[shadowscommand]

Ummm headcanons for Bale and minotaur pls :)

YESSSS my two special (36 yr old) boys.

both of them:

grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere. bale was always a fat boy while mino was pretty average sized.

really into sports as kids. played hockey/bandy together on teams often. minotaur never took sports as seriously as bale who is Way more competitive. and of COURSE they both loved to wrestle. wwe watching boys. but soccer was Bale's Sport that mino wasnt so into. on an actual soccer team going to games as a young teen.

little bit of troublemakers? since there's two of them and they grew up pretty poor when they wanted to impress their friends they would tag team local shops to walk out with handfuls of stolen goods, usually alcohol but sometimes just general snacks as well. when they finally got caught by a (very nice) shop owner who didnt call the cops they got their ASS beat by their mama.

the boys do have a shared tattoo. theyve had it since they were like 17 its like a bigass thigh piece that when they stand side by side makes a complete picture. (thats as far as the hc goes idk what it looks like probably a really sick grim reaper tho. or a bear)

bale:

always a little jealous of minotaur? maxim just has natural charisma in every situation he's in while dmitry is soo shy. hes only confident when hes in charge of his squad. even then its mostly bc he wears a mask over his face

while paralyzed he got himself a gaming laptop and spent a lot of time playing WoW. a lot of time. hes got like 3 max level characters. he still plays it but not nearly as often now that hes back in action.

also really into trash tv. he kind of perfected his english watching american reality shows just bc So much happens. he likes episodic shows most like my 800lb life and cops. he does like the russian top model series. he'll rewatch episodes sometimes.

he likes to eat. loves to eat. he will eat all day. go to bed. stay up. go in the kitchen at midnight and eat anything in the fridge that looks good, still standing in the fridge door with his shirt off. chewing. then he will finally go to bed

bc of how he eats he's got a strongman body type, really really built huge arms and legs but hes got a thick layer of fat. really healthy guy but due to depression and insomnia he still tends to be a little sickly at times.

he has really cool tattoos. no idea what they are. but theyre really cool

mino:

hes just such a mess. emotionally. hes, like, a recovering alcoholic but hes only recovering bc dmitry is back and hes keeping him busy.

he was an absent father from his (known) children until bale sort of forced him to actually be a part of their lives. he pays his child support now AND he calls them regularly.

really really into fitness. he keeps track of his perceived body fat and counts calories/carbs. he stays as hydrated as his body Needs but no more bc he likes to keep as much definition as possible.

loves to cook. he wasnt very good before running away to thailand, but after he had developed a passion for experimenting with spices and various meats and sauces and vegetables and just. all of it. he really likes to cook. dmitry is sort of his usual assigned cooking partner but rodion helps a lot too (he is just a little more wary bc he cant handle spice like the bale boys+nikto can (bonus rodion hc youre welcome)

speaking of him and rodion are besties absolute besties.

mino controls the spets radio also. hes really into metal/rock/classic music/ddr songs. played a lot of ddr in thailand bc he spent a lot of time in arcades when not in bars or at work. the playlist is a huge mix of russian bands he grew up with, thai bands he got into, and american music his fellow mercs grew up with. lots of variety.

[posi-pan]

I saw something a little while ago about the 1 percent rule of fandom, and it's pretty applicable to a lot of other things other than fandom. It said that whatever you do or try to do, 1 percent of your fandom is an absolute trash fire, death threats, stalking, the while nine yards. And I was thinking to myself, huh, what if I was to apply this to the bi community. Think about it, the sheer amount of bi people on this planet earth has to be in the tens of millions, hundreds maybe. That's an INSANE amount of bi people, and also an insane amount of bi people (the 99%) who support other mspecs and aren't babs. And as a pan person I find it comforting and calming to know that a very, Very, VERY small part of the bi community, or hell, the entire queer community, hate us for simply existing.

Pls stay safe in these trying times and remember, put out your local trash fires(exclusionists) ✌

yeah i've said before that it's easy to see all the bi panphobes/babs online (and this applies to all exclusionists) and see their posts getting thousands of notes and think that's a lot of people, and yeah, it is a lot. but compared to how many bi people exist, and how many aren't panphobic? it's a tiny number. and this isn't to diminish the severity or consequences of panphobia at all, just to put it in perspective. they aren't the majority and it's good to keep that in mind.

[r-n-w]

pls where do you buy your dice 😭🥺 i want all of them, i'll buy everything at your store if you link me

I’m afraid that’s not possible, as these are dice I’ve accumulated over years from all sorts of different places! I’ll try to help as best I can:

The kanji dice are from Q Workshop, but this set was discontinued. There are people selling them for a lot of money as singles on eBay but that’s the best I can do for linking you to something!

The lovely speckled dice are from random Chessex bins in game stores - Chessex do make a speckled range but these particular ones aren’t from an official series. I believe they’re from the “Pound of Dice” bags that game shops pour into their pick ‘n’ mix dice bins, and I think the Pound of Dice bags are made from random dice that are leftover from when Chessex swap colours in their moulds and odd combos come out during the switch. So in other words... They’re not easy to find because they’re just random trash dice that accidentally turned out pretty!

If/when your friendly local gaming store opens again, I’d suggest visiting to support their business and have a good dig through their random dice bins - there are lots of lovely treasures in there if you take the time to dive deep!

[smkkbert]

Time for a story - Broken Arrow

Of all the windows she could see from the front of the building there was only light behind a single one of them. That told Felicity everything that she needed to know.

With large steps, she crossed the distance towards the steps and hurried upstairs. Michael and Joe, the two night guards were standing in front of the doors, smoking a nightly cigarette. As soon as Michael, the older of the two, saw her, he stubbed out his cigarette and held the door open for her.

“Good evenings, Mrs. Queen.”

“It’s rather a good night,” Felicity replied with a tired smile, “good evening to you too.”

When she stepped through the open door, she looked at Michael. He didn’t seem willing to follow her inside for the usual security check. She perked up her eyebrows at that, but he just waved it off.

“If you wanted to kill your husband, I’d assume you did it at home.”

“Very true,” Felicity replied, “which is why I will get him home now.”

“About time.” Joe, who was still standing next to the ashtray, took a puff of his cigarette. “He’s going to work himself to death otherwise.”

Felicity nodded her head in agreement before she turned away and headed towards the stairs. Joe’s words were still echoing in her head. She knew that he was right. Oliver was going to work himself to death if he continued the way he was handling things right now.

It had been a week since Starling City had been shaken by another earthquake. Again, the Glades had been hit the most. Again, buildings had collapsed and buried people beneath them for hours until they had been found. Again, people had died. Again, a Queen family member was taking responsibility for it.

This time, the Queen Family wasn’t to blame though.

Felicity shook her head slightly when she turned into the hallway which led to Oliver’s office. He was probably brooding over papers that told him the number of casualties and critically as well as slightly injured people the earthquake had caused or how much it would cost to fix the damage. Maybe, he was even reading some of those stupid articles that stated how the damage could have been minimized.

It was stupid, Felicity thought to herself and shook her head once more, how easily the Queen Family or at least Oliver had been blamed for the consequences of the earthquake. Felicity got that the people living in the Glades were putting their blame on him because they needed somebody to blame. That high-ranking politicians of the city were doing so wasn’t fair though.

Oliver hadn’t done anything wrong. He had optimized the earthquake warning machines and the fitting protocol regularly. He had handled the critical hours and days after the earthquake well. He had even gone out there and helped people in person because he hadn’t just been reacting to the earthquake as mayor but also as a good human being that cared about this city deeply. There was nothing that Oliver could blame himself for.

Still, in those eight days since the earthquake, Oliver hadn’t come home. She hadn’t seen him at all except from the few video calls they had had. No call, with or without video, had lasted longer than ten minutes though. Oliver had always been busy.

After eight nights that Oliver had caught little to no sleep, Felicity had decided that enough was enough. Somebody had to stop him. Who would do it if Felicity wasn’t going to do it?

The door to Oliver’s office was opened slightly. Felicity knew that he usually liked to have it closed because the many noises from the hallways were distracting him. Oliver heard a lot better than most people. His years in hell had trained him to have his eyes and ears open for any possible danger, and he was almost unable to switch that off now. If Oliver had left the door open, he must had been deep in thought because he even closed it when nobody was there.

Felicity put her flat hand against the door and pushed it open. Oliver was sitting behind his desk. The jacket of his suit was put over the backrest of his leather chair. He had opened the first two buttons of his shirt and he had rolled up the sleeves. His hair was tousled as he had probably torn it again and again. Although Felicity couldn’t see his face, she was sure that it looked tired if she got to take a look at it.

That Oliver didn’t notice her standing in the door told Felicity how deep in thought he was. He was hypervigilant most times, so his lack in attention said a lot about his current mental state.

When Felicity cleared her throat, Oliver flinched. He ripped his head back, looking at her with threatening eyes that grew a lot warmer once he realized that it was her standing there and nobody else. A long sigh of relief fell from his lips in one moment, be he already frowned worriedly the next.

“Are the kids alright?”

“Not really, no,” Felicity replied, stepping into his office and approaching his desk slowly, “because they haven’t seen their father in a week.”

Oliver sighed once more, closing his eyes. He kept them closed for a long moment, pinching his nasal bridge. He was shaking his head softy.

Felicity watched Oliver. Seeing his face, he looked even more exhausted than she had assumed from what she had seem from the door. The shadows under his eyes were almost black. His eyes were small and slightly swollen. He hadn’t shaved, so his stubble had actually grown a lot thicker.

Eventually, Oliver rested his head back and looked at Felicity with tired eyes. Smiling sadly, Felicity lifted her hand and put it to Oliver’s cheek. He leaned his face into her touch instantly. His nose pressed against her wrist, breathing her in.

When his eyes locked with her the next time, there was an almost defeated expression in them. He knew that she wouldn’t let him get away with what had happened the last week easily. She wouldn’t just let him apologize and come home with her. They both knew that Oliver wouldn’t be able to relax until he had got everything off his chest.

Nodding his head slightly, Oliver straightened up a little. His hands moved over the mess of papers on his desk. He pulled some of the closer, while pushing others away and even trashing some. Felicity waited patiently.

“So, our priority is to make sure that the people who have lost their homes. Some of them are living with friends and family. Others are still in the emergency homes. I have bought some multifamily homes in the names of Starling, so everyone can move into provisory homes by the end of the next week. I have also made sure that the building companies that are assigned to rebuilt the collapsed buildings are supported.”

Felicity could see that Oliver was calming down as he talked to her. She guessed that everyone had been so busy with their own assignments in handling this crisis that Oliver hadn’t had many people to talk with aside from the daily meetings that had taken place. Oliver needed someone to tell him that he was doing great and doing everything he could though. John usually did that for him, but he was handling crisis management in regards to some crime issues and currently out of town for that.

“Apart from that, the need for psychological help has grown immensely. The new earthquake has triggered the old trauma that a lot of people still have after the Undertaking. I have located two advice centers for people in need.”

Still listening to everything Oliver told her, Felicity got up from the desk. She walked around him to take position behind him. Her hands moved to his shoulders, massaging them. She could feel the tight knots that had built in his muscles.

“I have already visited some of the patients that are currently treated at Starling General,” Oliver continued to explain, “and there are problems with taking care of the family’s children in six cases. I have managed to shelter all these kids with responsible local families, so neither of them had to be given into the care of child protective service and- oh my god.”

When Felicity dug her fingers tightly into some particularly hard tension in Oliver’s muscles, his eyes rolled back into his head before they fluttered shut. He leaned more and more back, pressing his tight back into the touch of her fingers. His head fell back onto the backrest of his chair. His fingers grabbed her wrists, keeping her hands exactly where they were.

“Sleeping on the couch is not good for you.”

“I have slept on worse.”

Felicity knew exactly what Oliver had been going through in the years that had followed the Gambit’s shipwreck. Sleeping on cold ground had been the least of his problems back then. It did offer a quite visual impression of what he must have gone through though.

With a sigh, Felicity wrapped her arms around Oliver’s shoulders from behind and leaned her face against his. Oliver moved his cheek against hers a couple of times.

“You are doing great,” Felicity whispered with her lips brushing against his ear, tightening her arms around him, “the best anyone could.”

Felicity knew that Oliver wouldn’t exactly agree with her. He knew that he was doing well, but he was always looking for ways to improve. He was that kind of person, always aiming for more even if he was doing great already.

“You have to relax now,” Felicity told him with soft voice and kissed the shell of his ear, “because you can only do more of the good things you already have been doing when you are relaxed and energized to do so.”

Oliver sighed, snuggling his head against the side of her face once more. When he turned his head, he brushed a featherlight kiss against the corners of her lips.

“I am not sure that I can relax then.”

Pulling back slightly, Felicity watched Oliver’s face. She could see that he meant it. He had honest doubt that he could relax. He wanted to because he knew how important it was to her and to him too, but he didn’t know if he could. There were too many things stuck in his head and too many thoughts making his stomach tighten.

“Back-up plan then.”

“Back-up pl- hm…”

The moment Felicity stepped around his chair and dropped her coat to the floor, the words died on Oliver’s lips and he hummed instead. His right eyebrow perked up slightly while he was letting his gaze travel down her body. She was only wearing one of his shirts, panties and her shoes since she had already been in bed when she had decided that it was time to get her man home.

“I figured that if you couldn’t be convinced easily,” Felicity said slowly, straddling his lap and pressing the juncture of her legs against where he was already growing hard in his pants, “if I came with good arguments.”

“I am already convinced.” Oliver put his hands to her hips, pulling her even closer and rubbing his hips against hers. “My body could need some motivation to pass out though, and we both know what happens after sex.”

Felicity chuckled, knowing exactly what he was referring to. Oliver usually passed out within ten minutes after sex. If he had to, he could delay his death-like sleep until night, but sex always made him quite tired. Hopefully, it would help him here too.

“It’s going to be my pleasure to help you relax.”

With that, Felicity leaned forward and captured Oliver’s lips in a kiss. It started out slow and gentle. It was a sweet way of welcoming each other back. There were no words needed for both of them to understand that they loved each other and had missed each other terribly. They hadn’t spent a week apart in like forever.

Soon, their kiss grew into more though. Their lips opened to the touch of each other’s tongues. They danced together slowly and intimately. Felicity’s hips shifted closer against Oliver’s in response. They picked up a rhythm of their own, thrusting against Oliver’s hips at the same time that her tongue stroked against his.

Their rocking movements spurred them. Oliver’s hands moved from Felicity’s hips over her legs to her knees. From there, they started a slow path up her legs again. They pushed the hem of his shirt up her body, getting them out of the way for the touch of his hands.

His touch felt so good, Felicity thought to herself and thanked him for the warmth he spent on her skin by gently biting into his bottom lip. Goosebumps were spreading on her skin wherever he touched her, and a warm shiver of absolute comfortableness was running down her spine.

“Oliver.”

She whispered his name into the kiss. It was a sign of how turned on she was and how she wanted to move things along. At the same time, she knew that whispering his name that hoarsely while her hips were thrusting against his turned him on beyond belief. She could literally feel the blood rushing towards his groin.

Oliver stroked his tongue against hers one last time before he grabbed hold of her hips and pushed her further away from him. He grabbed hold of his belt, but Felicity was too impatient to wait until he had unfastened it. She pushed his hands away, making work of his belt quickly. She unbuttoned his pants and lowered the zipper at the same time. Oliver wiggled his hips, helping her to pull his pants and boxers down in one go.

Hovering over Oliver’s lap, she stroked her hand through his hair and pulled at some strands lightly. Oliver angled his head back. His eyes locked with hers. His pupils were blown wide, and his fingers tightened around her small hips.

Felicity felt her heart skipping a beat. She had missed Oliver so much, even more than she had known so far. She knew that she was her own person, and she had insisted on having something for herself for a long time already. Still, she only felt like she was whole if Oliver was around. He was such a great part of herself, and she didn’t feel inferior when she admitted that she needed him to feel whole. It just showed how close they were, and how they had made the right decision by getting married to one another.

Slowly and with her eyes still locked onto Oliver’s, Felicity sank down onto Oliver’s cock. He stretched her perfectly in that special way that was so familiar and still felt so excitingly new every time. Her slick walls welcomed Oliver gladly, snuggling around his hard cock and squeezing down on it gently.

Once he was seated deep inside of her, they both stilled. Oliver’s fingers tightened around Felicity’s hips for a moment longer before they moved up her body. Through the thin fabric of his shirt, she could feel the warmth of his hands. They made her feel warm and caused her to sink even more against Oliver’s chest.

When Oliver’s fingers reached the nape of her neck, tickling the sensitive skin there, Felicity released a hum. As low as the sound she made was, it vibrated through all of her body and made her need for Oliver grow even more.

Oliver put his hand to the back of her neck and pulled her down towards him. Their lips met in a searing kiss while their hips picked up a slow, almost lazy, rhythm. Felicity sighed into the kiss, her hands grabbing the fabric of his shirt at the shoulders and tightening around it.

With the way they moved, their hips thrusted together harmonically. Whenever Felicity thrusted down, Oliver thrusted up to meet his rhythm. Her clit rubbed against his pelvic. Both made her pleasure rise quickly, causing her to feel hot and cold at the same time and making her need only more.

When it came to Oliver, she always needed more. She needed more of his hands roaming over her body. She needed more of his lips stealing hot kisses from her mouth. She needed more of his hips thrusting against hers and touching spots inside of her that only he had ever managed to stimulate.

Their joint moans echoed through the room as they moved towards the peak of their pleasure. Since the door to the hallway was still left ajar, Felicity was sure that it could be heard outside of Oliver’s office too. The building was empty though, so Felicity couldn’t care less. Actually, the thought of how their sounds of pleasure were echoing through the entire building only turned her on more.

Soon, Felicity felt the peak of her pleasure nearing. Her need for breath grew too much to take at the same time. She pulled back, finally managing to take in a shallow but urgently needed breath. Oliver tried to chase her lips for a second, still wanting more. As soon as his eyes locked with hers, he could see how close was so. Instead of trying to chase her lips any longer, he stayed with his eyes locked on hers.

Their thrusts grew quicker and more urgent. Their hips chased towards the relief they both wanted and needed. Felicity’s stomach was tightening. All of her thoughts, her feelings and actions were revolving around that release. She wanted and needed it so much.

With only a couple more thrusts, they both fell over the edge. Their moans turned into one when Felicity angled her head down and caught Oliver’s lips with hers. Kissing each other, their hips continued to move together lazily, trying to get the last of their pleasure.

Once the last waves of their pleasure had run through their body, Felicity broke the kiss. Her lungs were burning for air. Resting her forehead against Oliver’s, she smiled. She knew that, if she told him how out of breath she’d feel, he’d joke about working on her condition. She’d remind him that the first to have failed their phenomenal sex life had been his cock or little Oliver as Felicity liked to call him just to tease her husband.

“What are you smiling about?” Oliver asked her and nudged her nose with his. “What is so amusing?”

Chuckling slightly, Felicity pulled back and looked at Oliver. “Just us.”

“You thought about your bad condition,” Oliver guessed correctly, “and then you thought about Little Oliver. Of course you blended out the part where your vagina was so exhausted that your doc told you not to have sex anymore, right?”

Felicity grinned. Oliver knew her so very well. It was why her marriage with Oliver meant the world to her. She had never felt as understood as she felt when she was with him. She had grown up feeling misunderstood all of the time. With Oliver, she felt utterly safe, protected and understood though. Everyone who was in a relationship should feel the way she was feeling when she was with Oliver.

“Of course.”

She leaned forward to peck his lips gently. As soon as her lips touched his, Oliver framed her face with his hands and deepened the kiss though. Felicity couldn’t do anything against it. She just melted against his chest, responding to the kiss.

Oliver was the one to break the kiss this time. He looked at her with a soft smile that made Felicity brush her thumb against the dimple there.

“Let’s go home,” she whispered, “it’s time to go home.”

Oliver nodded his head. “Yes, it is.”

They cleaned themselves up before they left City Hall hand in hand, on their way back home to recover from the long hours without each other.

* * *

I'm sorry, guys! I am going through a terrible writer's block. I barely haven't written anything in the last weeks, and I can't get myself to it either. Maybe posting some chapters will help though...

* * *

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[neerasrealm]

STAN LAUGHING DAD AT ALL TIMES dkfkkdkdkdkskd MY HEART IS FLUTTERING!!!!!!!! i promise this is the last request (maybe ffkfkd) pls PLS PRETTY PLS do sum where one of the twins has a secret boyfriend and suddenly starts to wear a bunch of makeup and style her hair all pretty and lj ends up finding out by seeing them together KFKFKDKDK IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN I LOVE YOU BYE

LAUGHING! DAD! LAUGHING! DAD! HIM DEALING WITH TEENAGE DAUGHTERS IS SO FUNNY TO ME I LOVE DOING THIS. I decided to use the names Juliette and Jasmine for these two (as suggested by another anon). This isn’t relevant but. hc that the daughter from the second story where jack had to comfort one of them was Juliette. Lowkey im making entire personalities for these two god help me enjoy :)

Laughing Jack thought of himself as a pretty good dad. He was loving and supportive of his two girls, and always had their backs. They were happy to go to him and tell him everything, and in return he always told them he loved them and supported them no matter what. But of course, he didn’t force them to do any of that. It was a matter of mutual love, mutual trust. Jack wasn’t an overbearing father, in fact, he was quite relaxed. He knew his girls could hold their own, and they lived in a mansion full of demons and serial killers! If anyone decided to pick on the girls, they’d live (and probably die) to regret it. So when he heard footsteps creeping down the stairs behind where he sat in his big comfy armchair, and someone tip-toeing towards the front door, he wasn’t expecting it to actually be one of his two twin daughters.

He looked over at the girl as she quietly creeped towards the front door. She was dressed in a red leather jacket, and under it Jack could see she was wearing a short black skirt and fishnet stockings along with red high heels he couldn’t remember seeing before. Her hair was done up elaborately, and she’d even curled it. Jack blinked in surprise for a moment before smiling and arching a brow. ‘’...Jasmine?’’ he called out. The girl jumped and whirled around to stare at her. Looking at her face, Jack could see she’d taken the time to put makeup on. She wore some simple red eyeshadow, black mascara and some sparkly red lipstick. Jack also noted her contour, which made her cheekbones look sharper and more noticeable than normal. He looked her over for a moment and smiled. ‘’Ye look good!’’ he finally chirped. He had to admit, he felt a bit of secondhand pride. He had been the one to first teach both of his girls about makeup and hairstyling, so seeing her do something so elaborate all by herself brought a smile to his face. 

‘’Oh er- t-thanks da.’’ she stammered out, shifting nervously on her feet. She forced a smile. Jack chuckled a bit, thinking she was just embarrassed at the compliment. 

‘’Ya ‘eaded somewhere?’’

‘’Oh! Uh- yeh, yeh I’m er- goin’ ta see some friends.’’ she replied quickly. Jack nodded. Oh, friends! Odd...normally his daughters told him a little bit in advance if they were planning to go out- but maybe it was just a spur of the moment thing. Besides, she’d already gone through all the effort of dressing up and making herself look so nice, Jack certainly wasn’t going to keep her home!

‘’Ah! Awrigh’ then,’’ he turned back to the TV show he’d been watching. ‘’Ave fun, luv.’’ 

‘’Thanks da.’’ Jasmine smiled a bit and walked more confidently towards the door. Jack glanced at her and frowned.

‘’...’ey kiddo?’’ he suddenly said. She paused and looked over her shoulder at him, looking worried. ‘’...do ye need money?’’ he gave her a wide smile and reached into his puffy sleeve. Before his daughter could even mumble out a flustered ‘nah, I’m okay’, he pulled out a couple paper bills and stretched his arm over to her. She smiled gently and took the money. ‘’Buy yerself lunch ‘er somefink, awrigh’ swee’ear’?’’ 

‘’Yes da.’’ she gently tucked the bills into the pocket of her jacket and looked up at him again. She smiled a bit wider. ‘’See ya la’er.’’

‘’Ave fun!’’ Jack called back. He settled back down into his chair, content with himself. Just as he was relaxing again, he was interrupted by a second voice at the top of the stairs.

‘’...ye le’ ‘er go ou’ lookin’ like tha’??’’ 

Jack looked up at the sound of his second daughter’s voice. He looked up at her and frowned. ‘’Yeh?’’ he tilted his head. ‘’Somefink wrong?’’

‘’No, i’s jus’ tha’ she’s goin’ on a da’e is all…’’ Juliette leaned nonchalantly against the wall, smirking a bit as she spoke. 

‘’...a da’e?’’

‘’Yeh. Wiv a boy, y’know, nofink big.’’ Jack stared at her in astonishment. ‘’No’ tha’ big a deal, she only spent two ‘ours doin’ ‘er ‘air up an’ lookin’ all nice fer’im.’’

Jack stood up quickly and stared at her. ‘’Well- who is ‘e?? Do I know ‘im?’’

‘’E’s tha’ scrawny lad tha’ works a’ th’ music shop in town.’’ she examined her nails as she spoke. ‘’She’s fancied ‘im since she me’ ‘im. No idea why, ‘e’s kinda spo’y.’’

Jack frowned and looked at the ground. Ohh, he knew who she was talking about. A boy with wispy, greasy blonde hair and a nose ring who always seemed a little out of it. Your typical teenager. He was just surprised he’d never put two and two together and realised his own daughter liked him. He’d always thought she was just really into music. ‘’Do ye know where they went off ta?’’

‘’Mmm…’’ she spent a long, long moment thinking about it. ‘’I fink she mentioned th’ place bu’...I can’t qui’e remember i’.’’ she gave her dad a mischievous grin. Jack groaned and reached into his sleeve, pulling out another thirty dollars. He stretched his arm up and the girl grabbed the notes, smiling in satisfaction. She was a smart one, Jack would give her that. ‘’Th’ shoppin’ centre in town. Fink they mentioned ge’in lunch an’ summat.’’ 

‘’Righ’.’’ Jack turned on his heel and towards the door. ‘’I’m g’nna go er- check on yer sister-’’ 

‘’Don’t le’ ‘er see ya. Jus’ stalk ‘er from a distance.’’

‘’Thanks luv I will.’’ 

Jack walked quickly across town to the local mall. He stuck to backstreets and kept his eyes peeled for his daughter. He almost thought he wouldn’t find her until, when leaning out from behind a trash can, his eyes spotted a red leather jacket in the crowd. He gasped and stared at her. Alright, alright, calm down. He wasn’t going to storm over and tell her off- she was in love. Kids in love do stupid things, and hey, maybe this boy was nice! Maybe he was like her dashing Romeo- actually no that'd be more fitting for his other daughter Juliette...Aladdin then? Wasn't Aladdin a thief who lied about being rich though? Jack definitely didn't want someone like that dating his daughter…

OH WAIT HE’S HERE- Jack’s eyes widened as the boy walked up to his beloved daughter. He examined him carefully. The two just waved a bit in greeting as he casually walked up to her. They talked for a little bit before walking off towards the entrance to the mall. Perfectly innocent, right? WRONG! The ungrateful daughter stealer hadn’t even brought flowers! He wouldn’t even hold her hand as they walked! Not to mention his outfit. A red and white baseball cap, a track jacket of the same colours, black jeans that were ripped and old worn trainers. Also in red and white. Would it be too much for him to even put on the tiniest bit of lipstick? Honestly! Jack wasn’t a romantic but he knew low effort when he saw it. Honestly, men these days…

But fine, fine. He’d give the boy another chance. Maybe he forgot the flowers at home and maybe he thought the dress code was casual. No biggie, no biggie. He slinked over to the mall’s entrance and slipped inside. He stayed hidden in the crowd- or- as hidden as a giant monochrome clown could be. Things seemed pretty normal. The two of them walked along, talking calmly. The boy seemed to be laughing a lot, which made Jack proud. If someone was going to date his daughter, they had to have a sense of humour. He followed them into various stores. A record shop, a Hot Topic, Claire’s and a couple other places. They seemed to get along good, though Jack couldn’t hear very much of their conversations. He’d listened to them talk excitedly in the record shop about music, and in Claire’s he’d watched them mess around trying on accessories. They were...cute. They made a good couple and seeing the way his daughter laughed and grinned, and the way the boy blushed in her presence- it made Jack soften. He was wrong about this boy...he made his daughter happy, really happy, and he was more than happy to let them be together.

As he followed after them a few feet behind, his eyes stayed locked on their hands. They were holding hands. Jack was over the moon at that. His little girl was in love! Her first date was going good! He watched from a little bit away as they sat down at a food court. Once he was sure they were settled in and stuck into both their lunch and conversation, he wandered over and took a seat a little bit away where he could keep watching them. 

And then...Jasmine glanced to her side, just for a moment, and then snapped her head over to him. Her eyes locked with her father’s from across the food court and slowly, a look of horror crossed her face. She looked quickly to her date before he could notice something was wrong and stood up from her chair. Jack watched her say something to him before calmly walking away. As she got closer to where her dad sat though, her strides became angrier, and her face more enraged. Jack gulped.

Oh no.

She stopped calmly in front of his table and folded her arms. It was silent for a long, tense moment. ‘’E-ey swee’ear’.’’ Jack murmured, forcing a smile.

‘’Wha’ are ye doin’ ‘ere?’’ Jasmine growled back. 

‘’I wuz jus’ checkin’ on ye, ‘onest!’’

‘’Checkin’ on me?!’’ she snapped back. ‘’Stalkin’ me more like!’’

‘’Well ye’re th’ one tha’ didn’ tell me ye were da’in’ some’ne!’’

‘’Becuz I knew ye’d pull this crap!’’ Jasmine looked about ready to hit her father. It honestly wouldn’t surprise him if she did. ‘’I’m no’ a li’le girl! I can do wha’ I want! Juliette has a fella and ye don’t do this wiv ‘er!’’

‘’Tha’s diff’ren’-’’

‘’She’s the one tha’ told ya abou’ this, isn’t she?’’

Jack hesitated for a moment. ‘’...yeh.’’

‘’I’m g’nna kill tha’ poxy ra’!’’ she buried her face in her hands and groaned. Jack reached up and patted her shoulder gently. She looked up at him, still glaring.

‘’...I like ye’re boyfrien’. ‘E seems nice.’’ He murmured gently. ‘’I jus’ wanted ta make sure i’ went okay...yous’re a cu’e couple.’’ he smiled up at her. Jasmine paused for a moment before sighing.

‘’Ye’re such a fockin’ eejit, da.’’ she muttered. Jack laughed gently and pulled his hand away. He stood up from his chair. ‘’...ye mean i’ abou’ ‘im?’’

He nodded. ‘’I do.’’ he smiled down at her. ‘’Tell ye wha’, I’ll go back on ‘ome an’ pretend I didn’ see any ‘f this. Ye can keep goin wiv yer da’e an’ f’rge’ abou’ me.’’

Jasmine stared at him for a moment before smiling gently. ‘’Fine.’’ she sighed. She stepped back from him. ‘’Ge’ ou’a ‘ere b’fore ‘e sees me talkin’ ta ya. Don’ wanna make ‘im mee’ th’ folks on th’ first da’e.’’

Jack laughed and nodded. ‘’Alrigh’,’’ he pat her head once more before stepping away from her. ‘’Ave fun, luv.’’

‘’I will, da.’’

[avpdpunpun]

i disappeared for 3/4ths a year here’s an update?

its been 4 months since my queue ran out and way longer since i wrote an actual post. 8 months about? i think i last posted when i impulse quit a job that was bad for my mental health and just kept getting worse.

sometimes i wonder when ppl who blog about mental illness disappear if they’ve died. there was a big user i used to follow who did, and i still occasionally think about it sometimes, so i figure its nice to post updates sometimes. and being able to look back on posts ive written and reflect on them/what state of mind i was in can be helpful even if it can be embarrassing/dangerous because its so easy to fall back into those thinking habits 

after quitting my job i did basically nothing for 6 months haha. at some point i managed to clean out my room which i had done the bare minimum on for years because of depression, took out more built up trash than i thought was possible to fit into my small space. its disgusting but the only thing i struggle to keep up with now at least is vacuuming and putting clothes away so my space is a lot cleaner and it makes me happier. your living space can really have an effect on your mood bless you marie kondo

after my post about having an anxiety attack taking my test i got my drivers license in march. i saw the same lady again after going somewhere else and i think she just let me pass because she felt bad haha. i never finished drivers ed and i still get anxiety about driving unfamiliar routes but my skills and confidence have improved a lot. i managed to drive 2 hours to a big city to visit a friend! i literally didnt have a choice in getting my license, but its still something i can be proud of. like, when i have to explain it to people, it feels extremely shitty that i didnt get it until i was 20, and only about 5 months ago too but... for someone who struggles as much as me, i have to be proud of it my small accomplishments or i’ll have nothing.

at some point something in my brain just snapped and i literally havent been able to cry? for a long time in those 6 months i felt like i was right on the edge of breaking down mentally but never actually crossing that line and it was honestly one of the weirdest things ive experienced. i almost wanted to have a breakdown again just to get rid of the feeling and reach a catharsis like... i used to be a fucking crybaby almost but i. cant. anymore. but i think ive mostly moved away from this point... still feel kinda weird tho.

i didnt end up signing up to a local school fo gen eds. its still on my mind for the vague future because there’s topics i want to learn about (psychology, natural resources, languages...) and maybe try to pursue for a career but really i just wanted a way to get out of my toxic house, even if it meant going into debt to live in a shitty dorm. 

in the last 30 days though life has been moving extremely quickly for me. i dont think i couldve lived with myself much longer being a useless adult basically living in my basement bedroom of my parents house, especially with my younger siblings getting nearer to adult milestones, plus my savings were starting to run out.

so literally next weekend, i’m moving out! and i make enough money right now that with the rough budget i have established, if its accurate, i’ll have a decent amount of wiggle room and hopefully wont be ruining my mental health just trying to make ends meet.

it took a long time of searching but i managed to find a job that hasnt made me suicidal and has slightly more than the MIT living wage for my area lol. im a janitor now! we’ll see how long it lasts but a lot of the factors from my last two jobs that contributed to my failing mental health are gone. i rarely have to interact with other people, and if i do its my coworkers, of who i tend to only see for minutes per day, or the other people working in the building i clean who at most i have to say hi and have a nice night to lol. i get to listen to music and podcasts for 8 hours and its very routine heavy. i have to clock out after the 8 hours is up so i literally cant be forced into overtime. a lot of people dont respect cleaning jobs like this but honestly who gives a fuck, its something i can handle mentally and support myself with. its still hard adjusting to 40 hours. i know its the standard, but the standard is rly tough for me, but i think i can do it long term.

all of this has been achieved through sheer self hatred and impulse alone, and im very nervous about moving in with 3 other people even if 1 of them ive known for 8 years, and i dont think its even properly hit me yet. literally cant register that i have to fend 100% for myself but also ill be away from my toxic family! i can bring my cat with me, who before this i got to see at MOST once a week!

a dude ive known online for two or more years is moving to my area too for college and he’s so sweet and kind, i feel better talking to him than i have 99% of people in my life and im so lucky to know him. ive been forced to talk about personal things i was kind of dreading (not his fault, just a result of our relationship going to go from online -> irl and things id have to address beforehand) and honestly i didnt even mind it that much when i just got it over with and talked about it to him! vulnerability is literally the thing i struggle with the most in interpersonal relationships and is a huge block for me in every way and in even the most mundane life situations but like... he’s honestly the best and im getting emotional writing this and its weird af because i straight up dont GET emotional about other people. ive absolutely developed a stupid fucking crush on him recently and i THINK hes been receptive to flirting and i cant tell if he flirts back because we already say i love you and are wholesome af but honestly no clue if he’s into (trans) dudes but honestly? even if it doesnt work out im so happy to be friends with him and im so excited to finally meet him!! i really think knowing him has helped me improve myself 

i’ve always thought that if i could literally just achieve the bare minimum in life that things would naturally get better. like i’m still mentally ill and get paranoid about peoples intentions and i think if my boss yelled at me id have an anxiety attack on the spot. im still depressed and hate that i have low energy and that it’s still rly hard doing basic chores. 

but like a huge part of my problem was that i felt like i literally couldn’t TRY to connect with people if i couldn’t face having to tell them bare info about myself, like “oh i cant drive” or “i dont have a job” or that i was living with my parents but not even making PROGRESS on getting out. like how could i make friends or go on dates if i literally couldnt contribute shit or admit these things i was so ashamed of? a lot of my self image was shaped by this because my entire life i havent been mentally well enough to do as well as i should have.

but like. i feel like im finally doing these basic things!! i dont have to hate myself so much anymore! i dont look badly on other mentally ill ppl who are less lucky than i/havent been able to do those things yet/might not ever and are still in the same situation i was 2 months ago but the self hatred is strong pls understand.

i dont know yet if i could afford twice yearly drs visits for meds or anything and probably not therapy. i dont even know what my insurance is yet haha. but i’ll see

i need to figure out at what point in my life im going to be able to never contact a single person in my family ever again, considering i’ll be a 20 min drive away and they will know the precise location of where i live, and if i’ll ever feel safe enough in society to start hrt but :^) you know :^) i can at least present more masculinely in the meantime!

i dont rly know how to conclude this... i’m not trying to brag either im just very nervous and excited about where my life might be going for the first time ever? maybe? in my entire life? i have no clue what to pursue after moving out, but i can figure it out. and just... that there’s hope even if youre as fucked up and mentally ill as i am lmao!

[beihonglin]

there are a hundred types of sweetness in this world: one is ruibin candy, another is zhangjing cake, and the other ninety-eight are thinking of y’all  ˘ᴗ˘ 

pls don’t kill me i just rly love pick up lines aaaAAAHHH i meant to do this a while ago but tis i, ur local procrastinator,,, anyway thank you for 1.5k!!!! ♡♡ thank y’all for reading my ridiculous tags and sticking through my emotional 4am to-deletes and all the stupid mistakes i make and for loving ninety-nine boys together ♡♡ 

also some real soft Love and Appreciation Hours for these people who always show up on my dash with Quality Content or in my messages with Quality Friendship or in my heart with some Quality Love, i appreciate them for the beautiful things they post and i love them!!!!!! so !!!!!! much !!!!!!!!!!!! ˘ᴗ˘

♡: under the cut!!

@banana-jiayou ♡ / @bufans / @caixukun / @caixukunkun / @caixukun-9 / @hanmub0 / @huang-xinchun / @hynjaes  ♡ / @idolprod / @lengyanjun / @manmubo / @maotongs / @n0ngnong  ♡ / @pandachaoze / @qinfen-qingshen / @qinfour  ♡ / @richardlinchaoze / @roiqin / @tolwenjun / @yanchen-enthusiast / @ynajun  ♡ / @zhengrubin / @zhngrbns / @zhu-xingjie / @91

@banana-jiayou ♡ - nini,,, banana queen,,,, banini,,,,,, anyways thank you for being one of the first few people i could cry about trainee18 to and for progressively pulling me into stanning seven of the most beautiful people in the world (nose blowing emoji!!) thank you for your translations and Quality Banana Content it’s always soft Loving Banana hours with you and i !!! adore that !!! and i !!! adore you !!!! ♡♡♡ also 请问我可以称呼你 (ni haha get it) 为您吗…？这样我就可以把你放在心上了 ♡

@n0ngnong ♡ - HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ♡♡ we haven’t talked for long but i am so grateful for you aaaah thank you for being so kind and thoughtful and sweet and generally being a blessing to this fandom with your translations!!! thank you for making me love the banana and mavericks boys and for Suffering with me whenever luo zheng posts beautiful pictures ;0; 我问你，如果你是一款大衣，你认为你是哪款大衣？我觉得你是我心里的唯一 ♡♡♡

@ynajun ♡ - bitch if u Leave to go and Be Famous and Meet Lin Yanjun make sure you do it more than three days from now!!! so i won’t have to pay for a single bc that’s when nyu’s housing cancellation deadline is!!!!! anyway no matter what you choose to do (my mum recommends to go give it a try btw) just rmb that i love you to hell and back SoftSunflower1029 will always be your biggest supporter i will expose u on weibo for the yanjun trash u are and write fan letters to you that are just 不可以喜别人!!! over and over again and/or print-outs of *h**g’s beautiful edits ily beano ♡♡  also coming back to edit bc some idiot took SoftSunflower1029 on twt so now i am SoftFlower1029

@qinfour ♡ - adhfjskd i’m glad we first bonded over the Great Concept of Suffering and its best subset Making Mare Suffer!! we should do that again sometime ajsdfhlaksd but anyway thank you for being the one that sort-of unknowingly prompted me to make this blog fun fact i admired you from Very Far Away (as i usually do with people i love) until That Night and for loving oner and for making Beautiful Oner Content xingjie who? and also thank you for feeding my Addiction to 土味情话 when nobody else will (nose blowing emoji!!!!) ♡ also 最近我看到你就觉得头很晕… 因为爱情使人头昏脑胀 ♡

@hynjaes ♡ - ha fun fact i’ll Physically Incapable of doing one of these blog appreciation things on any of my blogs without mentioning you i love and adore you !!!! you’re never getting rid of me !!!! and my bad punctuation and typos!!!!!! and my stupid mistakes !!!!!! i am so so so incredibly grateful for you you probably get tired of hearing me say it every month or so but Listen i Mean It bitch!!!! ♡♡ anyway i can’t wait until you find a rich tall boy that hopefully runs a sangria company and marry him so i can be your sugar baby thank u 

editing to see if mentions work this time zzzz @forjingyan

[survivalarts]

#ProtectDumagueteCoast #Noto174Dumaguete ⚔️ #SAVEOUROCEANS PROTECT MARINE LIFE! NO MORE PLASTICS!! ⚔️🌊 Recently, Dumagueteños are in an uproar in response to the irresponsible government trying to impose a reclamation area that would KILL & DESTROY the last corals and marine life left. 🐠🐟⚔️🐋🐬 We must stand together to STOP the desecration of our lands and seas. It's bad enough that every time I swim or snorkel nowadays, I end up collecting plastic trash that is destroying coral, fish and other marine life. The plastic situation is so dire that #microplastics are now being detected in our foods, drinking waters, and even placentas of unborn babies! We need to be creating solutions, not problems for the next generations. We are responsible for either the destruction or protection of the earth and seas, and most of all, ourselves.🗡️ The United States is the biggest producer of plastic waste in the world. Contaminating every ecosystem, it is felt most in the oceans of other lands, especially throughout Asia. In the Philippines, one of the biggest pollution problems here are the plastic wrappers, single-use sachets, packaging materials, and now surgical face masks that end up as floating garbage. More than ever, we need sustainability now! Join the actions from #WalaUsik #ZeroWaste #FoodNotBombs to the #CommunityPantry movement ⚔️🌿 We must support the urgent calls by marine biologists, environmentalists, educators, and locals to #PROTECTMOTHEREARTH ⚔️ Global warming is only getting worse, and our only defense against this atrocity and #sealevelsrising in our lifetimes is to nurture Mother Earth, plant MORE trees #StopDeforestation, Protect #Mangroves #StopBlackSandMining #CoalFreeNegros #BanPlastic #SaveOurSeas and #PROTECTMARINELIFE 🌏⚔️🌿 #SurvivalArts supports local efforts from youth & grassroots groups like @walausik.tiangge @danjuganisland @prrcfi @yeyinitiative @youthforclimatehope @youthstrike4climateph @mangrovemattersph @kabanatanph @negrosanonparasanegros@pagasa.ph WE DEMAND #CLIMATEJUSTICE!! PROTECT #DUMAGUETE @noto174dumaguete 🗡️🌊 Pls amplify these voices, create action in your area, and tag your local groups below! 👇🏽⚔️🌿 (at Dumaguete City) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRyIhZCAkuy/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sunnysidewrites]

Vigilante Partner in Crime!Wonwoo Pt 1

so like i made this too long bUT I HAVE OVERWHELMING FEELS FOR WONWOO THAT WILL NOT BE TAMED!!! DONT TRY TO STOP ME!!! since requests are OPEN rn, plEASE SEND ME THEM AND DONT FORGET TO READ THE FAQ AND RULES BEFORE DOING SO!!! c:

Part 1 | Part 2

well yall here is my funeral :)))

I love these types of tropes but i am honestly trash for any and all types of aus

Also guys!!!! This is inspired by the show miraculous ladybug I LOVE LADYNOIR SO THIS AU IS BASED ON THEM THAT SHOW IS GR8 IDC IF ITS MEANT FOR KIDS MOST OF THE FANDOM IS AT LEAST LATE TEENS AND YOUNG ADULTS LMAO CHECK IT OUT YALL

I love this man a lOT A LOT A LOT SO MUCH anywayz let’s get moving

For decades your city has been struck by bad luck relentlessly

The amount of robberies and murders are going through the roof

Walking in broad daylight is just a little less dangerous than night

Ever since you were young, your parents warned you about the dangers in the streets and of the world

You, being the fiery little ball of justice you were, insisted on helping out the people when you grow older

As you did grow older, you noticed the law enforcement was just so,,,,

Lacking

Like your grandma could probably do a better job

And in this au she definitely could but we’ll get to there maybe in part 2 ;)))

You were just a lowly college student working part time jobs here and there to financially support yourself but you also had another “job” that not even your parents knew about

That’s right, you were a vigilante

You had always been athletic since your early years, and you took up many self defense trainings, martial arts, the works

It’s been a good few years since you started the “job” and you were damn good at it

Ofc you had to conceal yourself for safety purposes you wore a sleek black suit and a matching mask to go with it

Think of catwoman except well… you’re doing the opposite of what she is LOL

However, a year or two into your job, another mysterious vigilante appeared

You were in the middle of tracking down a bank robbery and you were hiding behind a building from afar when all of a sudden

“So are we going from behind”

You whirled around to see an unfamiliar face staring back jesus christ boy

He’s wearing a similar black outfit: a black long sleeve and pants made out of some special polyester or something that’s flexible and ofc we can’t forget about his matching mask!!!

“Um excuse me?? This is my mission not yours go find another city or something”

“Who says there’s only one spotlight? Better make some room bonnie ;)”

Ugh dear god who let him

You’re done listening to this weird odd man and need to refocus on the robbery so you’re just like uhuh keep talking clyde

“Look are we gonna stay here all night talking about who is fighting who or are we gonna stop these incompetent burglars?”

“Ooh feisty aren’t we? ;);););) don’t worry babe there will be plenty of time for us to talk later. Now for real our game plan-”

And that’s how you and wonwoo became the iconic bonnie & clyde partners in crime

Ofc you still don’t reveal your identities to each other bc where’s the fun in that lmao!!!!

The public still doesn’t know who you both are and highkey lowkey ships yall

You’re working at the local convenience store for your college and a tall, lean boy walks in

You nearly drop the box you were rearranging

This boi is damn fine and you’ve never seen him around campus at all

And get this!!!! He is wearing the same uniform as you!!!!

THANK THE HEAVENS YOU’RE GONNA BE WORKING WITH JEON WONWOO

You can feel the blush creeping up on your cheeks and you’re just like pls chill @myself???? You literally just met the man????

Haha not really but you’re both oblivious

“Hi… are you y/n?”

HE KNOWS YOUR NAME OHMYGODHDGHLAND HIS DEEP VOICE I AM YELLING “u-u-um yes??? Are you new here?”

“Yea,,, our boss said since you’ve been working here for a while you would be showing me the ropes around today”

Gdi why didn’t anyone let you know about a hot guy who you were gonna show around today is not your best looking day tbh

(but that’s ok bc i never have good days anywAYS)

You mentally facepalm yourself and curse your boss but you just put on a smile “:))) then yes I am y/n I guess I will be showing you around today :))))”

He gives you this cutest small smile ever i’m bawling

At first you were intimidated by him because of the cold aura he had going on but he’s a literal walking meme??? A smol child that needs to be protected????

Oh but little did you know :’)))

Surprisingly you get along with the guy who introduced himself as Wonwoo and you’re loving every moment :)))

You and wonwoo end up having similar shifts and since you work there often you also get to see him a lot too :’)))

You and wonwoo are practically besties in a matter of weeks bc of the lack of human contact you have with all your studies and jobs :(

And saving the world but like yea that goes for both of yall

You’re constantly cracking jokes with him and he does that cUTE NOSE CRINKLE!!!11!!!111

YOU ARE SPECIAL TO HIM

One day y’all were just so tired and stressed from not only academics but also recent events in your city like just lET US BREATHE

And you were both concerned about each other obv but

danger❗❗❗ danger❗❗❗ danger❗❗❗ y’all were sO CLOSE!!! TO SPILLING THE BEANS!!!

You just haven’t trusted someone in so long but there’s a reason why you both do your jobs anonymously

You both quickly try to change the subject and it works since both of you want to continue being off the radar so the conversation shifts

One day wonwoo surprises you with a gift!!!

“Omg wonwoo you really didn’t have to,,,, here let me repay you-”

“No no!! I got this bc it reminded me of you,,, and i,,,, wanted to,,,,”

bLUSH

It’s a cute little bracelet with the words “partner in crime” engraved on the golden band HAHA GET IT

You look at him confused with a hint of a smile on your lips and he’s like

“This is for all the times we secretly snuck food in the back to eat LOL thanks for being a real friend y/n :)”

JESUS CHRISTLTSJT MY HEART CANNOT TAKE THIS I LOVE HIM

You are melting!!111!! How sweet is this guy!!111!!

Later that night you’re on yet another mission with wonwoo

And ofc he immediately takes notice of the bracelet

“ooooh is that from your boyfriend?” and he feels a tinge of jealousy bc this boy has already developed a hardcore crush on you

“Why, are you worried bonnie is gonna leave you?”

“nO I WAS JUST WONDERING”

“Chill clyde nothing for you to worry about. Someone special,” you delicately touched the band, “gave this to me” you said as a grin spread

pOOR WONWOO BBY HE LEGIT THINKS YOU LIKE SOMEONE ELSE and he silently sulks and just says “o-oh..!! Must be nice”

And you don’t catch the quick forlorn look in his eyes before he switches back to his flirty self and you’re just like sigh ok clyde pls focus on the mission

wonwoo is just bugging out (no pun intended) about that bracelet you wore bc it looks familiar

But bc he’s dense and so are you he doesn’t put two and two together no offense reader but c’mon

One night yall are doing your saving the world routine and it gets dangerous since this mission is more large scale than your other ones

In other words it’s a lot more dangerous than your typical ones

let’s just say you had a little wardrobe mishap and aLMOST GOT YOUR MASK TAKEN OFF

Wonwoo was SO CLOSE!!! TO DISCOVERING WHO YOU WERE!!!

You were in the middle of hand-in-hand combat and you were quick enough to duck the guy’s blow but not quick enough to completely avoid it (which is rare for you)

Fortunately wonwoo came in time and finished off the guy as you quickly ran off and adjusted your mask

As you were adjusting it you heard his voice behind you

“Is it… so bad to reveal ourselves?”

You freeze. Bc well,,, that was the whole point of all this vigilante thing going on

“Can’t we just,,,, keep it between us?”

You finish adjusting your mask and turn back to him with a sad smile

“I’m sorry clyde… i hope you respect that”

At this point all the bad guys were taken care of and all you do is hurry back home, leaving wonwoo staring at your rapidly disappearing shadow

Wonwoo could have sworn when your mask was slightly tilted he thought he caught a glimpse of your face but it was too dark and too fast that he brushed it off

You and wonwoo spend the rest of the night contemplating on the whole mystery concept you’ve both kept up for years

Maybe it was better this way,,, so you wouldn’t have any attachment to each other

Bc in the end, the vigilante thing is gonna end one day and you don’t wanna have to go through the pain of separating based on your emotions

So y’all are forever stuck in this weird af love square,,,, wITH YOURSELVES

Might make a part 2 if highly requested!!!!!!

[womenofcolor15]

Pastor Jamal Bryant Postpones COVID-19 Testing Following Backlash For Charging The Community

Pastor Jamal Bryant has postponed a drive-thru CODID-19 testing event following backlash for charging for the (usually free) tests! More inside…

  Pastor Jamal Bryant is getting blasted on social media amid the Coronavirus pandemic. Pastor Bryant’s megachurch – New Birth Baptist Church in Lithonia, GA – posted on social media that they were providing COVID-19 testing to minorities. According to the flyer, 1,000 people would be able to stop by their drive-thru testing site to get tested for the deadly virus. However, it would cost them!

The church was offering to test 1,000 people for $150 and would charge $25 for the assessment, which is a grand total of $150,000.

Most testing sites offer the service for free.

The event was originally scheduled for April 4th and 5th , but was recently postponed due to Governor Brian Kemp's “shelter in place order,” according to the church’s official Instagram account.

"To remain compliant with Governor Brian Kemp's executive order, which is being signed today and goes into effect on Friday, New Birth Missionary Baptist Church and various medical partners will postpone the COVID-19 testing scheduled for this weekend," the caption read in the postponement announcement. "We look forward to coordinating with our local and state officials to support flattening the curve in Georgia and helping to heal our nation and our world from this global pandemic."

The COVID-19 testing prices had folks sounding off on social media, calling the church a "disgrace" and "disgusting" while accusing Pastor Bryant of capitalizing on a pandemic. Below are a few tweets:

  DISGUSTING:

Atlanta’s church New Birth & its pastor Jamal Bryant are TRASH for teaming up with a medical center to CHARGE people for Coronavirus testing.

This church brings in millions per year, they should offer free test for the community! Period! @JamalHBryant @NewBirthMBC pic.twitter.com/7WoiGQtEip

— Jerome Trammel (@MrJeromeTrammel) April 2, 2020

    New Birth Missionary Baptist Church, led by this mega-church “pastor” named Jamal Bryant, canceled a two-day drive-thru event at the church where up to 1,000 people would have been tested for COVID-19 for a fee of $150 each. $150 x 1,000 = $150,000. Capitalizing on a pandemic? pic.twitter.com/bgHgu3S97F

— Sammy Potter (@sammy_maga1) April 5, 2020

    Jamal Bryant’s church is charging people for COVID-19 testing. Disgraceful. Reimbursement through insurance? A joke. pic.twitter.com/2v6ltJxzg1

— Dean Big Sister AlmighTY (@theelectwoman08) April 2, 2020

    Hey @jamalhbryant I’m here in atl, and i see your church postponed the covid19 testing due to the Gov’s stay-at-home order. Question- weren't these tests donated? If so, why would you charge the community $125 for it? If i got details wrong pls feel free to clear up. pic.twitter.com/QP51md2kmJ

— Rebel Scum (@awkward_duck) April 2, 2020

    Jamal Bryant has always been trash why he was the perfect replacement for that ex evil pastor. Got a new devil https://t.co/jW584RN2th

— Mamba Mentality (@LethalSaint_) April 2, 2020

  One Twitter user questioned if the COVID-19 tests were real:

  Jamal Bryant is a slimy snake oil salesman I wouldn't put it past him to be selling fake COVID tests

— Brian D. (@freshxdesign) April 2, 2020

  If you haven't heard, scammers have been setting up drive-up testing sites with fake tests.

MSN reports:

"The pandemic is dangerous enough without wrongdoers seeking to profit from public panic, and this sort of conduct cannot be tolerated," Attorney General William Barr said in a memo to federal prosecutors across the country last month, urging a crackdown on a constellation of schemes targeting the public.

Authorities in Kentucky have been investigating drive-up testing sites promising same-day results for $250. A Texas-based website was offering a coronavirus "vaccine" until authorities won a restraining order against its operators. In Virginia, telephone scammers, posing as local hospital representatives, warned residents of possible virus exposure and sought to lure them to sham test sites.

As part of the federal effort, the Justice Department has directed all 94 U.S. attorneys to appoint a coordinator for all virus-fraud cases in their districts, raising the prospect that those who threatened or attempted to spread the virus could be charged with federal terrorism offenses because the virus could be classified as a biological agent.

"Capitalizing on this crisis to reap illicit profits or otherwise preying on Americans is reprehensible and will not be tolerated," Deputy Attorney General Jeffrey Rosen said in a separate memo to federal prosecutors last week.

  As for New Birth's COVID-19 testing, Dr. Tisha Rowe - founder of RoweDocs - told CBS46 that the church was NOT trying to profit from the event.

"No one is profiting from this project not myself, not New Birth, not the lab," said Dr. Rowe. "When we order labs, we have to pay for supplies, we have to pay the person who draws your lab. If you cannot afford $150 to get tested, the next best option is to go to the health department," said Dr. Rowe.

Dr. Rowe also said New Birth is now actively seeking grants to help with costs and some insurance companies may provide reimbursements.

On a positive note, Pastor Bryant and New Birth have been offering free food for people in need:

          View this post on Instagram

                  We had church today @newbirthmbc ! No singing! No preaching ...just serving! This #coronavirus crisis is giving our congregation an opportunity to model the message of Christ. This is just the beginning ..... don’t forget to worship with us online Sunday newbirth.org

A post shared by jamalhbryant (@jamalhbryant) on Mar 28, 2020 at 9:39am PDT

            View this post on Instagram

                  I was elated to serve with @newbirthmbc for the 3rd Saturday in a row in blessing 1000 people in #atlanta who are struggling with food insecurity! When you understand community you don’t act like it’s charity. Today we performed service and tomorrow we are engaged in online worship 930amEST newbirth.org or on @facebookapp #newbirthatlanta as well as @praise1025 and @wsbtv at 11am! You got no reason to miss

A post shared by jamalhbryant (@jamalhbryant) on Apr 4, 2020 at 4:27pm PDT

            View this post on Instagram

                  We thank God for everyone who came out to volunteer and service the community. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What an honor it was on today to be a blessing to those who came to pick up free groceries. Over the past 3 weeks, weekly we’ve been blessed to fed over a 1,000 our King’s Table and provide drive thru prayer for those in need. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The King’s Table will be open again on Saturday, April 11th from 10AM-2PM. If you would like to donate you can go to www.newbirth.org, drop off non perishables at the receptacles or thekingstable@newbirth.org to volunteer. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #newbirthnow #jamalbryant #newbirthcathedral #kingstable

A post shared by New Birth MBC (@newbirthmbc) on Apr 4, 2020 at 6:38pm PDT

      Photo: New Birth's IG

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/04/06/pastor-jamal-bryant-postpones-covid-19-testing-following-backlash-for-charging-the-commun