#suspecting system

[xx-satoranogerocs-xx]

Fragmented

For those that don’t know, I’m suspecting DID/OSDD. Yes, I’ve done research. Lots of research. “Just get diagonsed” I can’t.

But that’s not the purpose of this piece.

This isn’t stuff I normally talk about but I felt like I had to get this down.

see, November 2nd, 2024 is a really important date to us that we’ll never forget. And not in a good way. Not that it was the best day of our lives. It was rather the opposite.

a day we learned authority won’t believe you if you can’t convince them to help.

Since then, identity for us has been such a mess. Identity is such an important to someone. If not, the most important part.

i don’t have a complete idenity to go by. And after november 2nd, we’ve been in such a confused daze of not knowing who we are. Not even knowing who’s fronting. Sometimes it was easier to tell. And other days, it feels so foreign, he had utterly no clue. No hint. No alter keeping us grounded by at least some sense of identity .

This is why my art takes longer than other artists. Sometimes we’ll deal with mental health and we can’t get ourselves to continue to produce art.

i’m not really looking for pity. I’m just venting tvt.

[suicidalseraphim]

a lot of our alters have maladaptive traits that don't align with the body. multiple are EXTREMELY overt in their narcissism, but they rarely front long enough to speak other than a condescending scoff or something. We have an alter who's very "particular" about things to an extent it brings her (?- name unknown) great anxiety and distress but she's the only one in the entire system who experiences this, and the body does NOT have OCD.

We have a couple alters with ASPD traits or conduct disorder (to an extent) traits (if we were a singlet and them the "only" identity, we'd probably qualify as having ASPD)-- but we've never spoken to the therapist about these tendencies for obvious reasons. The rest of the alters (ESPECIALLY anxiety or hypervigilance holders) do not have these traits.

even in the same body, traits can be extremely varied. one fictive was SO connected to her source she experienced violent, panic attack inducing flashbacks to trauma the body hasn't experienced (SA) very shortly after splitting. another is absolutely disconnected from source other than having the same face, COMPLETELY different, and doesn't care about learning about source at all (disgusted by it).

being a system is complex. finding out who's fronting is NOT easy. figuring out how many alters there are isn't simple and can take months or years.

[ranoutofideas2021]

*cries in Mr. Chips*

Being a system is so weird like my mummy and daddy didn't like me so now I'm sans the skeleton

[ranoutofideas2021]

this plurality crap is insane like I'm Carl Sagan but if he were like 1 wth

[limoncats]

being a system and also being autistic is super funny because like you can so clearly tell what a system's special interest is by looking at how many fictives from that source they have

[disgracefulthings]

Qi Qingqi: Isn't it weird how nearly everyone we know had awful families

Liu Qingge: That is weird

Yue Qingyuan: And those of us who don't, it's because we have no family to speak of

Shen Qingqiu: It's like we're being tormented by a very lonely god

Shang Qinghua: Well excuse me! Maybe if I was loved as a child then I would probably know how to write about a loving family!!

Peak Lords: ...

Shang Qinghua: ...is what the lonely god must be thinking...

[canisalbus]

For your gay little dogs

.

[methoughtsphantom]

Jason “my family doesn’t know im alive” Todd and Danny “my family doesn’t know I’m dead” Fenton going alongside each of their plans my beloved. like Danny will absolutely go head-to-head with all of Gotham to support his new best friend on all his crime lord endeavors while he drags Jason to also attend collage with him. They are roommates and there never seems to a mention of family from either side. It’s an unspoken understanding they have. They met because Crime alley as a ghost lair thrummed with so much loneliness, it was at first the perfect place for Danny to hide his ecto signature in. But then he saw the dumbass whose lair it was lean his motorcycle just a tad too much when making a sharp turn to an alley, he sweeped the floor through a lifted chain link that passed his body but not his helmet. Yep that’s right the red thing got stuck. Danny who at the moment happened to be watching through his window snorted. Much to his horror because if not a ghost that dude could’ve gotten his head flung off.

Still, the scene was ridiculous.

On a whim he irrationally sees the police closing in on the guy and panicked at the thought of the guy using intangibility to free himself so Danny phased them both through his apartment wall and left the guy sprawled in his couch. Jason didn’t freak out but that’s normal when one’s got a concussion, one the guy immediately denied having as Danny laid out the medical supplies. The idiot proceeded to almost flatten four steps to the door with his stubbornness. He also said “I’m asexual” in the most deadpan voice as Danny dropped him back in the couch.

Danny sighed. Clearly though, he’d done so too early in the night because the guy kept trying to go, kept trying to knock Danny out, kept trying to slash him with knifes Danny didn’t know he had stashed. He’d only disarmed the guy from his guns. The visible ones apparently, cause at one point the guy did take out a gun and shoot until the ammo ran out and then teetered the thing like it was an art prop and hit his moon lamp.

Danny "yeah you aren’t officially my friend until you’ve tried to kill me" fenton my guys.

Anyways both keep having the same argument over if Danny technically kidnapped Jason or not. Danny holds the fact that the police at least didn’t see the guy make the ridicule. Jason argued that happened cause he was sporting a concussion. Danny argued he got that after.

Jason at first thinks the guy's a meta, but no. Danny introduces himself, sheepily now that he recognizes this is who the lair he invaded is from. He bandages him and tries to cook for him. If Danny didn’t have ice powers he most certainly would’ve burned the apartment. Jason then proceeds to kick him out of his own kitchen and make them both enchiladas. It’s the most normal both had in a while with another person and the air seems oddly settled. From then on, Jason constantly invited himself over, under the pretense that this was his territory and therefore he could drop in unannounced. Danny who has actual powers says he only allows this because Jason cooks very well.

Danny stays away from the crime fighting business unless his buddy is in deep shit he can’t get himself out. Also it’s Danny’s turn to cover for his vigilante friend which Sam and Tucker give him so much shit for. (but also advice)

And they were roommates. (omg) Danny effectively derails Jason’s big comeback plans by casually dropping ghost lore every two days. Like,

Jason, talking about how he doesn’t want Bats snooping on his territory:

Danny: Just don’t let them in

Jason: ??

Danny: yeah!! Hasn’t Batman died and got revived??? You can totally kick out death touched people you don’t want entering on your lair.

Jason: …I can?

Danny: Yep dude, your lair’s supposed to feel safe.

Jason: wait does that mean I can kick you out?

Danny: First this is my apartment. Second, im dead, not dead touched. Third, it’s too late to get rid of me. bitch.

Anyways Jason is super excited. You mean to tell him he can actually deny people over to his territory haunt?? (Yes it’s only to people who have died and came back but still!! The sample size is exactly the type of people he doesn’t want to see—!)

Joker my beloathed can’t step foot in Crime Alley.

(Jason’d feel a lot safer if the clown was dead but the possibility of his murderer turning into a ghost and their little loophole not applying on the clown is too scary to contemplate.)

Anyways, Jason loves experimenting with the power. It can go from simply making people shudder and not want to enter crime Alley to straight up not letting them enter like there’s an invisible wall blocking the way.

Jason because he’s hurt that Bruce never even patrols Crime Alley and also because he’s petty put B under the category of “invisible wall” blacklist. His reasoning is that the man doesn’t even attempt to enter Crime Alley. To him it’s surely just a place shadowed in tragedy. (anyways that’s it’s the place he met Jason)

Ironically, Jason totally forgets that Batman does venture into Crime Alley one day in the whole year. The day he met Jason.

Okay. He didn’t forget at first. The first year Jason remembers cause it was only a few months till then but then the next— Jason forgets that today’s the anniversary of the day’s Bruce’s parents died. He forgets to allow B in when he feels a slight tug and dismiss the feeling that prompts Bruce to investigate because he literally can’t enter Crime Alley. He starts the trialsTM, he scouts on the very edge and sees people the whole day enter and get out and cross with no problem but Bruce can’t.

It’s literally just Bruce.

Time to call Constantine, i guess.

[mayasaura]

Favorite moment in the first Murderbot book what when someone—I think probably Ratthi?—was outraged on Murderbot's behalf, trying to explain either to or around it that its situation was unfair and slavery which is bad, and Mensah shuts him down with, "You think it doesn't already know that?"

That was when Mensah completely won me over. How clearly she understands Murderbot's full personhood; not just as a sentient being, but as a rational adult capable of understanding its own life and the injustices done to it.

[bagaluten-sys]

Not sure if this was done before, but YOLO (I'm both)

[Text in the middle: "Thanks, I chose it myself"]

[suicidalseraphim]

Dissociative amnesia is wild. Who the fuck tried ??? To draw porn??? Of ME???

[mossy-paws]

Rodya found the yaoi :( (Limbus company)

The shitpost comic I’ve been working on has. Been taking much longer then expected I know I originally wasn’t planning on drawing anything limbus comp related until I got other important things done but I couldn’t get this out of my head so I had too 😔

OG image also! I got a ton of stuff cooking atm so HOPEFULLY I’ll have actually good art soon, I’ve just been very very busy with final exams and school

[stiltonbasket]

love your qht!sy au!!!!! (all of ur sy transmigrates into a diff body au actually) what are ur thoughts abt nyy!sy tho hehe

I don't have many thoughts about an AU, per se, but Ning Yingying!Shen Yuan would learn all of Shen Jiu's tells to predict when he would start beating Binghe and slip extra-strength laxatives into SJ's food or tea (or air, let's be real...) about fifteen minutes in advance each time.

Shen Jiu can't figure out why he keeps developing Intestinal Complaints whenever he makes up his mind to whip the Little Beast, but he eventually decides that it's probably psychosomatic and scales down the child abuse for his own peace of mind. X_X

[the-starboy-symbiont]

Thinking about creating a small 18+ system discord community

Not like 100% sure right now; doing a test run with some IRL system friends...

Would anybody be interested?

I really don't care to be involved with the syscourse, as I don't even really know how we feel about endos (there's a lot of conflicting feelings in here); however, this community would be specifically traumagenic-only (suspected and self-diagnosis friendly - we are suspected polyfrag and currently seeking a diagnosis but fighting with symptoms to get a psych lined up) for one reason.

That reason is that those of us who are traumagenic need a safe place to talk about their trauma; to have others who understand what they're going through, for solidarity and companionship; and to find friends who understand their experience. I know there are probably other discords like this, but I've been having trouble finding a community that meets my needs, so I might just build one.

It can feel really heavy and burdensome to be a system with no sense of belonging. I want everybody to feel like they belong, but especially those of us who feel especially alone 🫶

[having-sex-with-a-ghost]

Yall fictive and fictionkin ain’t the same please 😭🙏

(Tags)

[npd-culture-is-blog]

NPD culture is hating psych2go.