#the alchemist cookbook

[yagodichjagodic]

This one felt very much like a spiritual successor to ‘The Alchemist Cookbook’ in the best way 🤘🏼

[knowyourbmovieactors]

OCTOBER HORROR MOVIES (2021) #23 THE ALCHEMIST COOKBOOK

This is a really frustrating film. Half of it is a harrowing portrayal of a man who has isolated himself in the woods, dealing with either the fallout of summoning a demon or the effects of a psychotic break after going off his meds. The other half is aimless, plodding padding.

There are some genuinely great moments in here (especially when the guy's cousin shows up to drop off supplies; Amari Cheatom, you were a welcome sight in your three scenes), but a huge proportion of this film was filled out with what could only have been the director telling the main actor, "Just play around. Try some stuff. We'll film it."

I get the feeling that this movie was largely made through improv. When it works, it really works. When it doesn't, it's a slog waiting for the next scene to start. You know, like normal improv.

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Alchemist Cookbook (2016)

You don’t need a big budget to make a good movie. Sometimes, having too much money can even be a hindrance. All you need are good performances and a compelling story. Sometimes, even just one of those is enough if you’ve got a novel idea. Unfortunately for The Alchemist Cookbook, all of its unconventional choices don't make up for how dreadfully boring it is.

Sean (Ty Hickson) lives in a cabin in the woods with his cat and spends his days trying to use an old alchemy book. After his medication runs out and his friend, Cortez (Amari Cheatom), refuses to make the three-hour trip required to bring them to him, Sean becomes increasingly deranged. Eventually, he sets out to summon a demon.

I wish I could find a philosopher’s stone and turn all of this movie’s boring to excitement. With only two people in the entire film and the plot being set either inside Sean’s cabin or in the wilderness immediately around it, the actors get plenty of time to shine and to the film’s credit, they’re up to the task. Some of the dialogue feels like it’s being improvised on the spot, with many four-letter words being added over and over to pad out the sentences but you believe Ty Hickson as someone who really needs his meds. Beyond this, there is little to praise in The Alchemist Cookbook.

The film lasts 82 minutes and it feels like forever. So much of the movie is spent watching Sean mucking about, drawing prisoner marks on the barks of a tree to count the days, listening to music on his cassette player, playing with Christmas lights or mixing colored liquids to no effect that you perk up the second his buddy shows up. “Finally! Something new!” When the two start arguing about how delicious the cat food Cortez has brought might be, your heart sinks. Yup. This is what the entire movie is going to be like. A whole lot of inane conversations and nothing else.

If at any point you're able to shake yourself out of the sleepy aura that radiates out of this story, you might find some of it unsettling or even a little scary. When Sean begins digging into the demonic stuff, we see so little of whatever creature it is that’s making those odd noises in the distance that your imagination fills in the gaps and makes it frightening. At least in theory. In actuality, by the time it happens, it’s so late in the game you’ve given up. You know this movie doesn’t have the budget to show us anything cool and it has no desire to either. It’s not even that the whole thing is shot in a “found footage” fashion that would make this choice legitimate; it’s just that while you can tell that writer/director Joel Potrykus has the skills needed to make a good movie, he didn’t this time.

I try not to look at other people’s reviews when I write my own. All I know is that once in a while, RottenTomatoes publishes articles about how “Rotten Tomatoes was Wrong��� about a movie. The Alchemist Cookbook is far too small to ever be featured but I wish it would be. Only someone who has seen so many movies that they’re desperate for something different - doesn’t matter if it’s good or interesting, as long as it’s different - could recommend The Alchemist Cookbook. I say there can’t be many horror movies about summoning demons that feature an all-black cast and no female actors whatsoever but there’s got to be one you’ll find more interesting than this one. (November 13, 2022)

[headlamprey]

I wish my hands would let me draw. I DESPERATELY want fan art of The Alchemist Cookbook. Like a nice part of him with his cat maybe.

[haveyouseenthishorrormovie]

SUMMARY: An isolated man lands in hot water when he summons an ancient demon in the backwoods of Grand Rapids, Mich.

[kofikomori]

Certified alchemist here

[kermitsbutton]

Dudes gonna discover the philosophers stone at this rate

I've almost discovered what makes Super Mario so Badass

[unlawfulgames]

Gourmet Street: Dungeon Meshi meets God of Cookery

With Dungeon Meshi being in public eye again with the Netflix series, I thought it would be a good time to shoutout again about Gourmet Street, my free (tips appreciated) Street Food Fantasy zine! Big thanks to our wonderful artist and layout man @feralindiecharlie

 A New Setting! - Gourmet Street, a collection of scattered and bizarrely connected alleyways, it seems to pop up in any settlement large enough to begin thinking of itself as a city. Stacked high in wood carts, laid out on intricate rugs, swimming in a myriad of sauces, food is the name of the game on Gourmet Street.

 ONE MILLION Food Vendors and Menus! - Never eat the same thing twice! Generate from 8,000 possible unique food vendors and LITERALLY ONE MILLION possible dishes; ranging from Soft-shelled Crabman Sandwiches with Tzatziki sauce and Egg Coffee, to Myconid Zapiekanka in Pesto with a shot of Absinthe! 

 Food Factions! - From the hyper-radical (and slightly deranged) Neuvo Gastro-Alchemists, to the fanatical and militant Vinegar Knights, the food factions each come with their own wants, goals, and boons, IF you choose to serve them...

 A One-Page Adventure: ESCAPE FROM GOURMET STREET! Help a pair (or trio) of star-crossed lovers escape from Gourmet Street in a Snake-and-Ladders inspired chase! Fend off rival lovers, food cart brawls and escaped dishes as you dash through the alleys of Gourmet Street!

 And More! Monsters, magic items, and cookbooks for both Players and GMs to use and abuse!

[aventurineswife]

Some of creator reader prompts ideas with cookie run.

Stellaron Hunters with Timekeeper Cookie

Timekeeper Cookie: So you just follow so called destiny by following events that you were predicted to early? Man that sounds so boring.

Stellaron Hunters: And what's about you? What is your goals of obtaining power of time itself and change it?

Timekeeper Cookie: I was bored. It’s nice to have fun and see how things would turn out if for example, in one of timelines one cookie that changed history wouldn't be baked, don’t you think?

Stellaron Hunters went silent, they never thought that greatest threat to Elio's scenarios, the one would be able to change destiny itself by snap of fingers... Would be a cookie.

*Burning Spice Cookie becoming a new Emanator of destruction*

Jing Yuan with his electric general spirit: Hold up. Why Nanook decided to share powers of destruction with a cookie?

Burning Spice Cookie: HAHAHAHA YES... YES! WITH THOSE NEW POWERS I CAN DESTROY EVEN MORE! OH, THE THRILL! I SHALL WIPE ENTIRE UNIVERSE CLEAN AS EVERYTHING WILL COME TO RUINS! BRING IT ON, ENTERTAIN ME!

Jing Yuan: ...Alright, I can totally see why.

*Golden Cheese Cookie who became emanator of Abundance appears*

Golden Cheese Cookie: Not so fast! With those new powers, I will gain even more treasures and require even more spoils! My greed reaches the very corners of universe!

Burning Spice, excited: HAHAHA! BRING IT ON!

*As Burning Spice and Golden Cheese fight in the background, Dan Heng starts to question Jing Yuan*

Dan Heng: ...How many cookies would become emanators next?

Jing Yuan: ...No idea.

*Black Swan was holding a glass and sugar glass flower from Greenhouse of Memories*

Black Swan: Holding memories in the form of glass, how interesting, It reminds of Fuli.

*Albedo working together with Alchemist Cookie and Sucrose on the research*

Albedo: That's an interesting idea, Alchemist Cookie, but what if we used this ingredient?

Alchemist Cookie: Are you doubting my research? My calculation are always perfectly checked and reagents are prepped!

Albedo: That's not what I am trying to say, I know how careful you are with your research, what I am trying to say is... *explaining the idea and suggesting new ones, as Alchemist Cookie listened she realized some of them are able to improve it*

Alchemist Cookie: ... *Alchemist Cookie was fascinated and admired Albedo's knowledge, she does knows that is pretty good ideas* Well, I do admit that isn't bad, but in order to use it we would have to rewrite this research.

Albedo: Then we could create new ones in different versions and use them to see what results it would bring.

Alchemist Cookie was with sparkling eyes: Really?! *Pulls out a paper* In that case, let's go!

*Albedo notices Sucrose staring at Alchemist Cookie*

Albedo: Is everything alright, Sucrose?

Sucrose: H-huh?! Oh, uh, W-Well... I am just fascinated by existence of cookies, they are living, breathing beings and live like a humans, plus, they are so cute. I want to learn more about them and I hope it would help with my research.

Albedo: Indeed, creating a life that isn't different from how humans behave using simple ingredients for food. That's fascinating, I want to learn about that Life Powder that is used for their creation...

IPC, Fatui, Hexenzirkel, etc. To reader: Excuse me, we believe that you hold a magic cookbook used to create this living things and how their powers work, would you be interested in some kind of collabora-

Creator Reader: No, fuck off.

Oh my god, these are PERFECT — you're absolutely nailing the balance between serious lore-consistent reactions and that chaotic humor that an omniverse crossover needs to stay fun and alive!

Timekeeper Cookie vs Stellaron Hunters

The way Timekeeper casually shrugs off destiny while the Stellaron Hunters — people who spend their entire lives rebelling against a "predicted" future — just stand there in existential horror because a cookie is outplaying them for fun??

Peak. Peak.

Burning Spice Cookie as an Emanator of Destruction

Jing Yuan's deadpan reaction absolutely sent me.

Burning Spice shouting like a one-cookie apocalypse engine while Jing Yuan is just standing there like "Yup. Checks out."

Honestly, the fact that the Aeon of Destruction (Nanook) would look at this spicy little cookie and go "Yep, you get it" is so hilarious and yet somehow makes perfect sense.

Golden Cheese Cookie Emanator of Abundance

Fighting Burning Spice in the background like "Greed vs Rage" while the grownups (Jing Yuan and Dan Heng) are just trying to hold the fort?? Chef’s kiss.

Black Swan and the Sugar Flower

Black Swan, naturally intrigued by delicate and memory-related items. This is so in character.

Albedo, Sucrose, and Alchemist Cookie

OMG this was adorable.

The scientist brainrot across all of them is so accurate.

Albedo proposing rational experimental variations, Alchemist Cookie getting excited to try more, and Sucrose just being shyly overwhelmed because not only is the science amazing — but the cookies are so cute too???

I can completely see Sucrose writing entire research papers about Cookie society afterward.

IPC, Fatui, Hexenzirkel, etc. trying to buy Cookie creation knowledge

And the punchline:

Creator Reader: No, fuck off.

ABSOLUTE PERFECTION.

(Seriously, Reader/Creator just deadass protecting their Cookies like a pissed-off parent while mega-corporations, mad scientists, and witches are trying to throw entire planets worth of money at them is so satisfying.)

[riveracheron]

eh. might as well post this now. a few of these are wish fulfillment rather than actual theorizing but explanations under the cut

i have an alchemy hyperfixation and all the alchemy stuff in tmagp makes me very excited so a lot of my theories are related to that

spoilers for the pilot btw

main character gets an eye injury - the image will not leave my head. in the magnus institute ruins statement there was this whole thing about redcanary having some kind of encounter with or experience with eye trauma and that feels like something thats just. gonna come up again

another mechanisms va - self explanatory, we need to complete the set. would love to hear kofi or rachel.

gwen has trauma related to something that happened with elias - this is going on the theory that she’s not elias’ counterpart, but a relative of some kind. something spooky happens to him and that pushes gwen to research the paranormal.

character referencing nicholas flamel - all the main characters have names that reference alchemists, and nicholas flamel is probably the most famous alchemist of all time. i doubt he’ll be given the smirke treatment because that kinda already happened with the transphobic wizard books, but someone could be sharing his name.

mag 114 statement is relevant - thats the. hill top road statement that deals with other realities, and anya (the statement giver) could be from the protocol verse. we could totally hear about the aftermath of her departure

alice/sam/gwen = three primes - the three main alchemical symbols on the OIAR crest, and a good sort of symbolic trio sorter. the three peimes are salt, sulphur and mercury, and are the basis for alchemy. the down to earth, reliable salt, the firey, unpredictable sulfur, and the adaptable, easygoing mercury. i think these could apply i just want to have it called out in universe

lena is a good person - i don’t think they’d pull the evil boss thing twice. i just think lena’s weird mannerisms are from her autistic swag

celia is related to or is agnes - (related to as in. her story involves agnes, not that shes like. a sister.) this comes from a theory by @/pinklotjeart, i think. basically: through the way her death was described (spark returned to the lightless flame) and some timeline discrepancies and general avatarness making it weird, agnes might not be Dead dead. and celia’s counterpart, lynne - well, she saw a fire ghost. also, both her and agnes are the only non one-off characters who have shakespeare names afaik. agnes MONTAGUE, celia from as you like it…

annabelle cane is related somehow - self explanatory, she was at hilltop road when everything went down. might have been pulled in.

a famous alchemist is robert smirke’d - self explaining, give me more canon historical figures jonny

another kitty cat - i want more kitty in podcast is that a crime

augustus is not jonah - we hear jonah’s voice as ben meredith in 193, so im skeptical that tim fearon’s character is jonah for that reason.

oiar group has a messy moment that devolves into actual physical violence - mmm angst i think they deserve to smack eachother around a bit

bonzo cult - yeah.

oiar found family - we got the group of coworkers that hate each other angst last time gimme the “hurting one to get to the others” and self sacrifice angst this time

colin dies early - mmmm i cant say much about this bc its based on one throwaway line at the MCM panel where jonny doesn’t mention colin in the main character group. so . death flags.

oiar is containing the entities scp style - this was a super early theory of mine, either this or theyre using them for power or energy in some way. even more heavy handed capitalism metaphors yay

someone gets ushanka’d - its computer horror: the podcast. that’s all

cookbook statement - a few clues in the ARG had to do with cookbooks, and alex and jonny have already said they’re getting weird with the statement formats (they mentioned an insurance report!) so. cookbook doesn’t seem too far-fetched

tiktoker/influencer character - archives was 2010s and they had a podcaster and youtuber, which were like. the big things. whats the hip trend now??? instagram and tiktok baybee

protocol editors va a small role a la mag 100 or the wtgfs cult - those characters were voiced by other rq team members (ie helen as laverne and martyn as robin) and the team has since expanded!! some editors dis stuff for cry havoc, so im guessing nico, annie, april and others will get a small role!

a villain’s goal is creating the philosopher’s stone or other alchemical thing - tmagp is heavily inspired by alchemy, and the philosopher’s stone was the main goal of alchemy!! it would grant you eternal knowledge snd the ability to turn lead into gold- which seems like a good. evil dude’s ambition

the desolation gets more focus - the institute burned down, the oiar crest has a lot of sulfur symbols (the fire element), alchemy as a whole having to do with fire, celia and her connection- it paints a very. lightless flame picture

trip to germany - a lot of the arg was set in and around berlin, and there was that exchange between sam and colin about german in the pilot! i could see a germany trip happening in the same way jon took a trip to china and america.

[talesbydebt]

"How about we put it under ...like a cypher or a code in the cookbook! surely the church wouldn't be banning cookbooks now would they?"

though he underestimates the power of the church, and more importantly the angels who run it from behind. Of course he has no way of knowing how powerful the church can be without some...horrors to go with it.

†. ┊❝The cookbook would sell well but everything else cannot see the light of day unless you want the church after you.❞ but if they were to sell a cookbook they'd have to do a lot of work. Translate the recipes, taste test them, have others sample them, and then revise any recipe that wasn't palatable or wasn't accessible for nonelves to make.

†. ┊ ❝I guess it could help fund future jobs and it would also put more palatable cuisines in the world. Some restaurants have never heard of seasonings and spices before.❞

[macabresymphonies]

Are we dealing with alchemists looking for The Philosopher's Stone?

(I will be referencing partially to the ARG, most importantly to the so called Klaus sheet that has german version on categories the OIAR team is using, and some light spoiler to The Magnus Archives, so beware).

We're four episodes in and cross-referencing each episode so far, there seems to be few things that connect most of them:

an orchestrator

a medium

an obsession

a transformation

Each episode so far mentions some type of third party being involved in the incident: Harriet Winstead mentions a "consultant" that was supposed to help her see Arthur, RedCanary mentions getting harrased by an anonymous stalker, Daria commissions Ink5oul for a tattoo, Dr Samuel Webber mentions seeing his dead wife "Maddie" who stops him from tampering with the transformation (could be a hallucination, but could also be somebody using his delirioum to impersonate her) and today we've got a mention of a "giftgiver" who gave The Violinist the Violin.

Additionally each incident mentions some type of specific medium the characters came into contact with: The Box, The Violin, The Ink (cross referenced in Klaus sheet from the ARG), The Garden (as in plants in the garden). The exception being the Harriet, but we don't know yet what "caused" ressurection of Arthur. This is important, because in TMA items and "mediums" weren't actually all that common, it was very often stressed that relics were medium for the fears to use directly (with people only doing their bidding), not to be handled by others as a medium.

Lastly each episode talks obsession and/or transformation and oh boy, let me tell you about bunch of guys historically obsessed with tranforming stuff through different mediums:

"It's not very suprising, alchemical symbols are everywhere throughout the podcast!" you might say. True, but let's take into consideration, what excactly is a goal of an alchemist? Well the answer is quite simple and there is actually three of them. The Three Goals of Alchemy are:

To turn base metals into noble ones

To discover the recipe for a Philosopher's Stone

To find the Elixir of Life that gives eternal youth and defies death

All of them refer to some type of recipie of method, so where are the recipies? Under our own noses. The recipies are the DPHW catalogue and the database Freddie is sending the incident reports to is an alchemical cookbook! Each entry is categorized something like that:

CAT$$$R&&#### - theme (specification) -/- subtheme [medium]

Some specifications:

$ - are a conbination of numbers 1, 2 and 3. They do not always appear in threes, sometimes it's just 3, sometimes 12 (as in 1 and 2) so forth. These has been widely theorized to be related to the The Tria Prima, a group of three materials which occupy a position of prominence in alchemy: Sulphur(🜍), Mercury(☿) and Salt(🜔) or as they are also characterized Soul, Mind and Body. If we assign each of them a number with 1 being Soul, 2 being Mind and 3 being body, they so far align with the main "components" of each incident or realms they deal in.

R - either appears or not, it was theorized this is a RANK and that previous files were simply misfiled by Sam, but to me it also could be REGIA as in Aqua Regia (🜆) where we are to assume the R was added to the previous element (Aqua (🜄) + Regia (R)). The meaning behind assigning some some incidents the rank of regia has yet to be explained though.

& - these are letters C, BC, B, AB, A and S signifying a rank (or rang in the Klaus sheet) . Lets ignore that S for a second, but they seem to be stages and half stages, well there can't possibly a concept of four stages in alchemy? Let me introduce you to the Magnum Opus (Great Work). Basically each alchemical project went through four stages: nigredo (black), albedo (white), citrinitas (yellow) and rubedo (red) with rubedo specifically signifying a great discovery was made and Magnum Opus was a success, but it does not necessairly mean an alchemical goal was reached.

To summarize, numbers one C-A signify stage of the project, with S, that appears once on mostly redacted cell in the Klaus sheet, signifying that not only the final stage was reached, but the project has been a success.

This could mean a finished Magnum Opus is out there, developed in the field of the Soul and related to the mysterous Mr. B.

# - these numbers are still a mystery, I do have some theories myself, but to summaries I think they are grades and some type of combination (I think it's either 9999, 0000 (as in all 10s) or perhaps 7777 (7 being the most important alchemical number)). Basically a specific combination could imply the specific discovery could be categorized as a Philosopher's Stone. What that could mean for the narrative? We will see, but I suspect it's an alchemical equivalent to an eldritch nuke in this universe.

Last thing to support my theory, the OIAR logo. The lion and the unicorn are obviously symbols for the United Kingdom, as this is a government office, and the words undearneath are "we will not falter" (probably reference to the paranormal incidents they deal with) the rest though?

Alchemical symbols for Salt, Mercucry and Sulphur are right there, all encompassed by an upside-down version of The Philosopher's Stone symbol; The Greatest Magnum Opus:

As to what the Magnum Opus are in TMAGP, each incident has an item associated with it, I noticed that the characters do not get corrupted by people directly this season, but through the use of items like ink, instruments, plants.

[crazylittlejester]

DAILY BRAINROT

Today I went on a little adventure and got far enough into town to reach the public library. (I have acquired cookbooks and the next volume of Fullmetal Alchemist.)

Every time I go on the bus I think about Hyrule and how much he would love public transportation and side walks. They're fantastic. Massive upgrade from living so far from town that the only way to reach civilization is the interstate. Like, it takes a long time to get anywhere, but if you can time things right, you only have to walk for like 1 hour in total.

I also think he'd love libraries. They'd all love libraries, but I think he'd appreciate the fact that it's free and you can meet random people there. The more social events are fun. Plus, comic books. Comic books are great.

This is mostly me gushing about everything I love about libraries and being able to go places without getting marooned, but you can't tell me he wouldn't like this stuff, too.

Legend would 100% be the one to go with him and then have to lie down when they get home because his joints hurt. And insist the pain is worth the quality time with Hyrule.

IDK there's just something about being able to literally walk home that's healing and I think all the boys would benefit from it.

ooooh adventures are so good, i went on some today :)

god i so agree- I’m on vacation rn and everything is so close i just walk everywhere. the store, the farmers market, the shops, wherever. its so healing its so great. it would be so good for all the links

[haveyoureadthisfanfic]

Summary: While the Chief practices his best vengeful face and looks up the recipe for a fake corpse in some freaky alchemy cookbook, Breda and the rest of Team Mustang get to deal with the really annoying bits of this operation.

Author: @bob-fish

[she-whatshername]

Join me on this journey of how I just committed myself to writing a second Bodhi x OC

Me: (minding my business playing the sims) …omg wow look at this Sim I made. She’s gorgeous

My impulsive dark side: bet she’d be a great OC for a Bodhi x OC fourth wing fic

Me: absolutely not! I’m writing Drifted, I have a life and real world commitments, we are not doing this. Just let me play the game in peace

My impulsive dark side:…she witnessed the Calldyr Executions and is forever changed and she trains and becomes a cadet in the healer quadrant of Basgiath and runs into the marked ones and is slowly helping them survive the riders quadrant by sneaking them herbs and medicine disguised as recipes in a cookbook!!!

Me:…FUCK! (Immediately closes the sims and begins typing)

The working title is “The Bystander Alchemist” btw.

Also, look at her. She’s beautiful, she needs to fall in love with Bodhi, right?!

[dukecarge]

According to the FFXIV official cookbook, Hi-Elixir and X-potion are basically sugar and alcohol bombs. So when your WoL is using a potion, it means they're getting crunk as fuck to beat the shit out of whatever's in front of them.

Not to mention they're not sipping that shit. You press the button and it's gone.

...further implications is that this means alchemists are just bartenders creating fucked up and unethical cocktails for people everywhere.