#the lostie post

[daily-dose-of-bucket]

Day 177: KANNA HALLOWEEN DOODLES PART 1 (pretend it's Halloween still) (it's a working title)

[jollyreginaldrancher]

Yellowjackets text posts 221-230 (Yeah we hit the two hundreds)

[pearlypairings]

I wish you would write a fic where…

Chrissy and Jonathan (and possibly Gareth and El?) have a snowball fight! 🌨️❄️

okok I got a lil carried away I'm sorry lmao..... original post

Chrissy huddled under the groove of Jonathan’s new black peacoat, her Christmas gift for him this year. He wore it well, no longer swimming in a too big, slightly holey coat from the thrift store. Snow lined the cuffs where he’d just finished packing four monstrous snow balls.

On Jonathan’s other side, Gareth moved to look over their makeshift blockade of a felled great oak. He caught the sleeve of his puffy jacket and yanked him down. Gareth’s eyes flew open, looking cartoonish with the frozen curls of his hair sticking straight out.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Jonathan said quickly, shaking his head like a dog with wet ears.

“I’m her Bear, she wouldn’t—”

“She would, and she will. Trust me. She’s a bloodthirsty competitor. Why do you think Will chose to flee?”

Chrissy giggled into his coat, packing another snowball to drop at their feet. “Still, it’s not really fair to be three against one.”

Jonathan glanced downward, a grave, wistful look in his eyes. “I know. She’s going to slaughter us in seconds.”

Their companion hunched into the snow-covered log, knocking off a min-avalanche of puffy snow over his head and looking torn between life and love. With a strong nod and a big snow ball, Gareth moved to a crouched position.

“I can’t hide forever,” he said, sounding like a Hollywood action hero, before adding a sappier, more Gareth-sounding note, “Besides, I miss her cute smile.”

Jonathan rolled his eyes, but Chrissy made him bite his tongue with one sharp look. They were  young! And in love! They knew what that was like at least. But he was totally doomed.

The moment he stood up to throw his one and only snow ball, a flurry of a dozen snow bullets crash landed into his face and torso while a few whizzed passed into the bush behind them. Gareth slumped to his knees, spitting out clumps of white flakes.

“Well, we might as well get this over with.” Jonathan’s cold lips kissed her forehead, smooshing her frozen bangs against her skin. “I’ll always love you.”

“And I’ll remember you fondly.”

Together they launched themselves up, scooping up their pre-made snowballs in their arms. El stood with hands straight out in front of her, showing off the pink gloves Joyce had gotten her proudly. Another dozen snowballs floated in between them, frozen in time instead of her gloves.

Chrissy leapt to the side and threw her first snowball at El, pushing Jonathan in the other direction to separate. She squealed in delight as her ball exploded into one of El’s like a snowy blast mid-air.

Jonathan tossed two more at her, both of them ending in the same firework-effect fate.

Oh, they were so going to get pummeled by El. 

Her boyfriend gave a knowing wink that made Chrissy buzz with excitement. She dove back toward where Gareth sat crushed—defeated and took a running jump over the log to throw as many snowballs as she could. El couldn’t stop laughing as she moved all the floating ammo with her hands toward Chrissy in a sudden ambush. Cold snow stung her cheeks and sunk beneath the collar of her coat down her neck. A chill ran up her spine.

El clapped in happy victory across the small clearing.

But Chrissy knew that there was one more surprise….Jonathan popped out from behind another tree on the other side and rushed toward El. He tossed his armful of snowballs her way, where she gasped and flung them aside in surprise.

The one thing she didn’t account for was Jonathan sprinting full-speed at her, picking her up to spin her around and tossing her straight into a giant hill of a snowdrift where she disappeared into the wave of blinding white. Her gleeful scream muffled almost immediately as she was swallowed by their winter wonderland.

This was the best white Christmas Chrissy ever had.

[mangolostinparadise]

Hi! I wrote this in my sophomore year of undergrad for my Anthropology in Fiction class. It’s a 6 page essay analyzing the connections between Margaret Atwood’s Oryx and Crake and Kazuo Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go. It’s not my best work but I think it still holds up and is good enough to share to the nerds who read and write too damn much like me.

Enjoy!

[addoves]

thank you to everyone who's applied to the dragalia tarot project by the way ^_^! it was announced on twitter last night, but all emails have been sent. so in the mean time, if anyone is interested in the final project, keep your eyes open!

[phosphophyi]

So there's this song I wrote when I was 14 or 15 that never got posted despite being totally finished (iirc, I couldn't get any good PV art made and then I eventually forgot about the song for a while). I have had countless songs achieve this same fate, but for some reason this specific song has always stood out to me as a song I need to post one day. I finally got off my ass and repaired the original LMMS file so that I could hear what it originally sounded like (No vocals because my old vocal export file is lost to time, baby). Anyways this is all to say I'm working on the remaster I started in 2018 again and maybe this time I'll actually finish and post it. The song originally used Prima and I would love to use her in the new version too but I'm unsure if I can emotionally handle mixing her. However the vocals are definitely suited to Prima's voice type and I don't know if any other voice I own could really clear these vocals. Maybe SAROS. Maybe.

[shituationist]

This her?

thinking about problematic information gaps again..

[lost-inanotherlife]

when i say that LOST is neither plot- nor character- driven but it's theme-driven this is what I mean:

a few weeks ago i posted a long meta about "316" where i said that in s5 the waters get "murkier" as the distinction between good and bad becomes both more apparent and, simultaneously, harder to see, to distinguish.

in other words we enter a territory where we can't be sure that what we see is that it is.

and then s6 starts and we see literal murky waters in which a dead Sayid is bathed and a reborn/resurrected Sayid has emerged and we're not quite sure what to believe. he is both dead and alive. simultaneously.

but also! we see a different timeline, an alternative timeline in which the losties don't crash on the island and the island itself is deep underwater so we start thinking that maybe, maybeee the bomb plan did work. or, in any case, that this timeline is simultaneous to "our" timeline.

so the theme of things, people, events all being simultanously multifaceted to the point that we can't discern what is what anymore is respected. in a way, we have to have faith in the writers, in the story and be confident that, even if we don't get it, there still is some sense to make out if it.

and, perhaps, this is why LOST "lost" (sorry for the pun) in the end: people had faith in it and felt betrayed. i've honestly given a lot of thought as to why the audience would feel that way but i still can't give a definite answer. perhaps something should be said about the power we give to stories to do "the work for us", to save us, to entertain us, to give us what we want. i can understand this approach but, as time goes by, i think there's a tendency to see stories as products that you buy and if you don't get what you ordered you can ask for a refund or complain about it.

it really doesn't go this way with stories because revelations and ultimate truths are okay only in religious contexts, in storytelling nobody really is interested in giving people any answer, it's always the question that counts in the end.

this is all to say that if you pay attention to the themes in LOST the show made good on all its promises. if you were hoping for something else then LOST is not the show that'll give you something concrete to you. you gotta make your own kind of music, brother.

[strangerthingsfanworkrecs]

1lostsoul0fishbowl writes an amazing rare pair of Gareth and Eleven. It's such a sweet AU. And they're just a wonderful member of the fandom regardless. Always excited to see them on the dash and they deserve all of the love.

Introducing @1lostsoul0fishbowl!

We're highlighting losty for her written found-family fics! All recs tagged #1lostsoul0fishbowl will be for her work, both fics and moodboards. She answered some questions about her process below

What's a fandom interaction that made you really happy?

It’s so special to get comments on my Gareth/El fics, because they’re a SUPER-rare rarepair and I love it when people are willing to give them a chance and then find themselves truly enjoying the story. One of my favorite comments was from a reader who told me “I don’t know how I’m gonna find another Gareth and El story like this. I will probably be in a retirement home one day, reminiscing on this fic.”

What's your favorite character or aspect of Stranger Things to create for?

My favorite character started out as Eddie (as it did for so many others!). I’d watched and loved Stranger Things since it first started airing, but none of the characters had ever grabbed my heart and made me actually want to write the way Eddie did. Something about him reminded me that I could reject the ending the Duffers gave him, and write him a life that I liked much better. But in my exploration of Eddie and his friendships with the other characters, I started really connecting with El. I realized I have a lot in common with her— not powers of course, just in terms of an isolated and strange childhood that resulted in me always being a little out of step with the people and the world around me. And I got hooked on the idea of El coming into her own as she grows up, and learning to be truly happy despite being a weirdo. One of the constants in my work is the happy ending. I love to build on the friendships the characters had in canon, making them continue to grow and get stronger, and for everyone to have the help they need to deal with the hurts and trauma of the past, and keep moving toward a life filled with joy.

What's your writing process like? Any tools you favor?

I’ve always been more of a plotter than a pantser in my writing process. I like to create fairly detailed outlines, because I’m afraid I’ll run out of steam halfway through a story and not be able to figure out the ending. 😂 One thing I learned as I wrote more and more, though, was that outlines can and should be flexible! My original outline for Next Time I Fall had the romance being an even slower burn, but I got to a point where El didn’t want to wait any longer to be with Gareth and I didn’t see any reason to make her. 😊 Another thing I’ve grown to love is creating mood boards. I could spend hours scrolling through pinterest searching for just the right photo to capture the vibe I want for a particular fic. I started posting a picture or two along with every “new chapter!” update post on tumblr and really had fun with it. Here’s the one for Next Time I Fall This also led me to using an awesome image generator (found here: https://penguin.jos.ht/ ) to create Penguin-style book covers for some of my fics. Choosing the right picture for each of those was a challenge! I’m particularly fond of the image I found to represent little Eddie and uncle Wayne for the cover of Gone Away.

What was it like to work on Tattoos and Trash Talk?

I got the idea for Tattoos and Trash Talk from seeing this artwork:

I’d originally seen the artwork on instagram, so I had no idea it was based on another fic. I started thinking about how Eddie might’ve been the first person El had ever seen with tattoos he liked and was proud to show off. And I thought about how Eddie especially would understand that El’s 011 tattoo didn’t represent the person she was, and she should have the chance to replace it with something she liked and got to choose herself. That idea blossomed a little bit into Eddie giving El a boost of self-confidence toward dealing with bullies in general. He taught her that she didn’t have to follow “rules” and be polite when bullies asked nosy questions about her 011 tattoo. We’d seen in the show that Eddie looked out for his “little sheepies” and I could so easily imagine him extending that protection and friendship to El too. She deserved to have a friend like him! After seeing the artwork I wrote Tattoos and Trash Talk in a single afternoon. I could picture the scene so vividly in my head! I don’t think I even did much editing, just wrote it down and immediately posted. Nowadays I’d probably edit it fifteen times and have it beta read, but I think it turned out well anyway. 😊

What was it like to work on Next Time I Fall?

Before I started writing Next Time I Fall, I never imagined I’d write a story solely focused on a rarepair that I’d made up myself. I created the pairing when I was writing my long genfic, With a Little Help From My Friends, and it started as just a little private joke with my own self. I thought, wouldn’t it be funny if El had a crush on one of Eddie’s bandmates? So I wrote a little drabble about her telling Eddie she liked Gareth (and Eddie basically freaking out and saying “I’m not qualified to handle this” 😂). But one of my readers commented that they liked the idea, so I decided to explore it further. Every Gareth/El chapter that I posted in Little Help got such great responses from the readers that I started thinking about writing more for them one day. I still wasn’t entirely convinced that a T-rated fluff fic based on a rarepair (with a brand new ship tag I created myself!) would be worth posting. I thought nobody would want to read it. But my bestie convinced me that Next Time I Fall was an idea worth sharing, so I started to write… and once I started, I couldn’t stop. I had so much fun watching those two adorable little nerds fall in love. I think it’s one of the best things I’ve ever written. I love the story itself, but I think I also improved as a writer while I was working on it. I tried to keep each chapter to 5k words or less, so I learned how to edit better and write a bit more concisely. And I learned that sometimes sticking to an outline works, but sometimes the story and the characters want to evolve in a different direction, and it’s best to let them go where they want. An outline can be tweaked much more easily than trying to bend a whole chapter in a direction it doesn’t really need to go. And the response shocked me!!! I thought maybe five or six people would read it, but I had a ton of readers! People commented like crazy, loving and sympathizing with both El and Gareth and rooting for them to get together. The chapter where they finally kissed has more comments than almost anything else I’ve ever posted! Readers were so happy for them, and it truly filled me with joy that I’d created something that really resonated with people. I think it was the first time the advice to “write for yourself” really made sense to me. I’d written the story exactly the way I wanted it, and people loved it exactly the way it was.

[1lostsoul0fishbowl]

🎉 there’s an anniversary coming up in the losty universe…

🎂 it’s been almost exactly two years since i posted a chapter of with a little help from my friends titled “do we break another rule”. the next day (gosh, i used to write so fast) “do we break another rule, part two” was posted. and that, my friends, was the official beginning of greatmage!

(we called them ‘eleverson’ back then but ‘greatmage’ is a much better ship name lol)

[ginawankenobi]

Send help 😂 I will get to writing all of these eventually but I’m having trouble deciding where to start/where to go next.

*denotes work with some chapters already posted

[pearlypairings]

I would love to see the 'being surprised with flowers' prompt for the birthday fic challenge! also happy birthday to you! I can't believe you are using your birthday to write gifts for us!? 💐 incredible 🩷

clarke x kelley (extra-e club) || fluff, romantic, sweet || 351 words

A/N: ahhh anon!! thank you for this prompt! I took this opportunity to write about a lil rarepair that I've been crushing on the idea of for while. This is a lovely little snippet into how cute they could be together <3

yesterday's prompt

Her office was a controlled mess—one of the secretaries called her desk “the forest fire that park rangers were still putting out.”

Whether habit or neuroticism, Wanda Kelley always left a workspace unkempt to the untrained eye, but she knew Stacy Harewood’s fourth visit note was in the middle stack exactly five folders down. It was not a pretty system, but it was her system, and it worked well despite its appearance. So unlocking her office, already tabulating her time for notes in between morning sessions and during lunch with her colleagues, she missed the new addition to her desk completely. It wasn’t until she unhooked her purse from her shoulder and tried to place it in its singular tidy corner that she realized something else filled that space entirely. A big, beautiful bouquet of golden daisies stuck out amongst the stacks of dreary paperwork, cluttered coffee mugs, and the sporadic lines of pens. The blooms were a lively yellow, full of life and without a sign of any wilting. In the center, the gift-giver had tucked a note amidst the blooms. Wanda sighed happily, picking up the note to read it and holding the bouquet to her chest. In dark, thick-lined cursive, it read: I finally found a bouquet as joyful as you. Thankful to see you shine bright for another year (you’re putting solar flares to shame). Happy birthday Wandapalooza, All my love, Scott What a lovable nerd, she mused to herself, breathing in the fresh, earthy scent of the flowers. She still wasn’t used to how sneakily sweet he was with these little surprises, and she hoped she’d never take them for granted in the future.  The day’s little stresses seemed to melt into the background as she took a moment to look forward to their planned dinner date to celebrate her birthday after work. Scott always made her feel special and that was something she wanted to make sure she remembered to toast to later. "Cheers to another year wiser and one more year in love with the best man in Hawkins," she’d say with sincerity in her heart as they clinked glasses.

[justhere4thevibez]

4, 20, and/or 55 for the fic writer asks please! 🥰

awww thanks for the ask friend!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Unhelpful answer: everywhere 😂 a lot of times I'll get a spark from a prompt or post on social media (like my instagram au), while other times it's drawn from a seed of my own experiences (like the college au). But most of the time, it's me asking what if? What if chrissy joined hellfire? What if hopper discovered Mrs Cunningham's abuse? What if chrissy woke up ten years in the future? And then I springboard into yet another wip 😂

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

TOO FUCKING MANY 😂 I'm constantly editing my work for overused words/phrases (so. many. "just"s.) I also find myself exploring the idea of Chrissy discovering herself over and over again. That's often the theme of my favorite books, too, a woman discovering herself, who she is, and what she wants to fight for.

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

Ooh, gosh! I find myself resonating a LOT with chrissy because I feel a lot of kinship with her, so her voice is very easy for me to capture. Eddie's a lot harder to write because my brain doesn't work like his, but he's also so damn fun! I've also really enjoyed writing hopper even if he is an old grump 😂

I don't know that I've been swayed top much by readers, but I've DEFINITELY been inspired by them! Certain comments (including some of yours, losty!) have sparked ideas for the next chapter or even a new fic! Nothing feeds my brain like inspiration from my dear readers 💛

Ask me author things!!!!!

[get-lost-in-fanfiction]

LOST - Another Story

Rating: M

Word Count: 8.1k

A/N: Well. Welcome back to Lost - Another Story. I don't think I've posted a chapter since Jan 2022. But here we are! I've been rewatching the series and feeling the sting of being without my favorite Lostie, Amelia. So here is the next installment. I hope you enjoy!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Homecoming 

I must have fallen asleep, because when I hear voices I open my eyes and sit up. My whole body being completely stiff is also a damn good sign, too. My pack is squished up awkwardly where my head was once laying with a sharp edge right where the base of my neck was. Terrific.

“Over here. Jack!” Someone calls. I can't see who it is. I rub the back of my neck and feel how tight my muscles are; this is why I don’t sleep at the caves. Man if only I had some aspirin then this place would really be worthwhile.

“Where's Jack?” Locke says as Charlie approaches, “We need the doctor.”

“He's right there,” I say while pointing, “Right there.”

“What happened?” Charlie asks me, and I gesture to where Locke is walking into the caves carrying Claire.

“Jack!” Someone else yells and I rub my temples. This is awful to wake up to.

“Doctor!” Locke calls and Charlie rushes over to Locke.

“Claire?” Charlie says and I scramble to my feet.

“Is she alive?” Michael asks.

“What happened?” Walt asks me, and I just shake my head. I couldn’t possibly explain it all in such a short amount of time,

“Is she alright?” Charlie asks and Jack is at my side.

Jack goes over to Locke and picks her up instead, “Where did you find her?” He asks.

“About a mile north. We were looking for the dog,” Locke replies.

“Was she conscious?” Jack asks.

“She collapsed in my arms.”

“Did she say anything?” Charlie adds.

“Charlie, man! Is she injured?” Hurley interjects.

“Is she alright?” Walt asks and I look at him and shake my head again. He backs off and I sigh loudly.

“Everybody needs to back off, okay? Just give her some air,” I yell to everyone around as Jack wipes Claire's brow with a cloth. I’m surprised when they actually listen. Doctor perks I guess.

“Claire, can you hear me?” Jack asks, “Wake up now. Hey, Claire, Claire. Wake up now.” Claire opens her eyes and Jack looks at her, “Hey.”

Claire screams and scrambles away and I clap my hands over my ears. I hate Clarie’s screams in this one. This is not a good day for me. A headache is painfully stabbing me at the base of my neck. Stupid backpack. 

“Claire? It's okay. It's okay,” Jack says in a panicked but soothing manner.

“Claire. You're safe,” Charlie adds, looking at me nervously.

“Who are you? Who are you?! Who are you people?!” Clarie screams and everyone exchanges looks.

“I don't understand. I don't know any Ethan. I don't remember. I don't remember any of you. I don't remember any of this,” Clarie says all panicked. 

“What do you remember?” Charlie asks and I give him a side glance.

“Um, I was on a plane flying to LA from Sydney,” Claire says with all the certainty she can muster, which isn’t a whole lot.

“Claire,” I say as I kneel down beside her, “We were all on that plane. It crashed here -- on this Island. That was almost a month ago.”

“No, I'm, I'm due,” Claire begins to say, but I rest a gentle hand on her shoulder. Surprisingly she doesn’t flinch away like she had the rest.

“Your baby's fine--” Jack interjects, but I finish, “--He's kicking, everything's normal. Okay?”

“Well, if it's been almost a month then why hasn't somebody come to get us?” Claire asks and Jack glances at me to give an explanation. I stare back plainly. Jack, Locke and Charlie look around not knowing what to say, and I notice Jin and Sun looking on and beginning to converse with one another.

Boone and Locke leave the group and I get up to follow them. I’m sure Jack begins to say something, but part of me has absolutely no time for his bullshit, despite my inherent uncomfortableness around Boone.

“You think she escaped?” Boone asks and I realize I’m right at the start of their conversation. Boone has his back turned to Locke who is sitting on something on the ground. I sit as well. Locke nods to acknowledge my presence then answers Boone, “You were right beside me, Boone, you know as much as I do.”

Then Boone turns around and spots me. My stomach does a funny flip, and not in a good way. He doesn’t say anything to me, other than his line: “Well, where did she come from? I mean, we were out pretty deep. Nothing's out there,” Boone pauses and Locke gives a faint smile, “She didn't say anything at all about Ethan?”

“Apparently she doesn't even remember Ethan,” Locke responds.

“The guy pretends to be one of us -- he drags her through the jungle for almost two weeks -- she doesn't remember him?”

“Apparently.”

“You think he's around?”

“I sure hope not,” Locke and I say at the same time. This is when Boone and Locke begin to engage me.

“Is he coming back Amelia?” Locke asks. I’m a little stunned because I wasn’t sure Locke believed that I knew literally everything.

“It’s not my place to say,” I reply cryptically, I don’t want them to think I’m a traitor or something, despite the fact that the truth of what I am has surely spread far and wide throughout the camp by now.

“C’mon Amelia,” Boone says, taking some steps closer to me, “We won't tell anyone, besides, you already know a secret of ours.”

I sigh heavily and Locke looks at me surprised, to my relief Boone answers Locke’s questioning stare: “She knows about the hatch Locke, she knows everything.”

I’m about to answer, feeling more uncomfortable by the second. Why did I come out here anyway? What was the purpose? I really can’t remember and I’m starting to feel as sick as I did when I was eavesdropping on Locke and Boones hallucination experiment conversion. I open my mouth but Jack suddenly shows up to come to my aide.

“She doesn’t have to tell you anything, Boone,” Jack says mildly defensively and Boone backs off immediately. I jump to my feet and walk quickly away with Jack. We’re heading back to the beach. 

About halfway there I’m suddenly struck with a memory, and a question I meant to ask Jack a while ago. However, I hesitate for a moment, because there are a few questions I want to ask but I’m unsure of what order I should ask them in. I mull things over for a moment, and ultimately decide to thank him, first, then ask my weird time travel questions.

“Thank you for standing up for me,” I say out of the blue and Jack seems stunned at my words, “I didn’t think you would, considering you always wanna know future stuff.”

“Boone is slimy and I didn’t want him to take advantage of you,” Jack responds quickly and I wonder if he’s growing a soft spot for me and all of my weirdness and uncontrollable knowledge.

“I wanted to ask you something, though, and maybe it’s a little weird but I gotta know.”

“Sure, go for it, we’re almost back to the beach though.”

“Yeah I understand, uh so before this is before the crash. When I was 14 my whole family was killed in a terrible explosion. Sewer Gas,” I pause to take a suddering breath and Jack gestures for me to continue on speaking. This is hard to talk about. 

I take another breath and continue, “I was thrown 50 feet from the outside oof the house, where I was taking out the trash. They were waiting for me to come back when they died. I broke my neck and several other bones while sustaining 3rd degree burns on most of my back and some on the back of my arms. I wasn’t expected to make it after being thrown from that distance. But the ambulance arrived and I was rushed to the ER where I was X-rayed then immediately put in emergency surgery. I was partially paralyzed. The surgeons expected that I wouldn’t regain full range of motion even with the surgery. But they did it anyway. Once I had woken up, a doctor came to see me. He told me his name and that he was the one that operated on me. He said that the surgery was an immense success and that they didn’t see why I wouldn’t make a full recovery after a year or more of physical therapy. I was heavily bandaged and still a little sedated but still managed to catch the doctor’s name when he told me. That doctor was you, Jack. You operated on me and told me that you’d be with me, observing, every step of the way. Then you disappeared and I forgot about you. You saw me just a few weeks ago, lying with bandages over 80% of my body. But here I am now.” I look up at Jack who is staring straight ahead. We slowed down walking as I kept speaking, and now we’re just at a standstill with Jack staring off into the jungle with a far off look in his eye.

“Jack?” I ask tentatively, “Do you remember that?”

“Yeah, yeah I do,” Jack replies and whips his head to look at me and a wild expression is painted all over his face. I smile grimly, trying not too seem too hurt about this load of information I unceremoniously just dropped on him. I feel tears rising up from my throat and I do my best to push it back down. 

Jack doesn’t say anything for a really long time. I kind of stand around awkwardly as I watch Jack’s brain go through some very obviously deep thoughts. Honestly, I’m not even sure why I brought it up, or what the point was. I mean, is there a point? Is there some sort of pull I can use to get Jack to finally take me seriously? It wouldn’t be bad to finally have Jack fully on my side, and maybe this is what I need to influence things. To make a difference, to make something change. Even if whatever happened, happened. 

“Do you have anything to say?” I ask Jack. This seems to shake him from his thoughts and we start walking again.

“I never put those two things together. You looked familiar, but…” Jack trails off and I can’t help but roll my eyes. He’s so dramatic.

“Does this mean you’ll take me seriously? I mean, this time travel stuff isn’t bullshit. You’ve experienced my younger and current selves within a month,” I reply with a bit of amusement. Honestly I’m not sure why I never put two and two together until now either. I guess I just pushed that time of my life away because it was so damn traumatic. 

“Well I have undeniable evidence,” Jack says with his weird breathy laugh. I smile to myself. 

“Man of Science,” I mutter and Jack tilts his head in my direction but doesn’t say anything. 

In the morning, Sayid, Charlie, Jack, Locke and I are gathered around on the beach. I arrive after the rest of the men, and Jack regards me with a new expression. It fills me with hope and maybe, just maybe, it will solidify my existence enough for the Island to provide me with plot protection. It’s a fairly beautiful day and the ocean looks particularly pretty. I can’t get caught up in the scenery, we have a plot to move forward.

“The girl is pregnant. Very pregnant,” Sayid says, “Are we supposed to believe that she escaped from him?”

“What are you getting at?” Charlie says very indignantly and I roll my eyes. I’m over feeling bad about line stealing so I try to speak up, but Sayid beats me.

“Ethan infiltrated us. Whoever he is and wherever he comes from, he's intelligent. Who's to say he didn't even send Claire?” Sayid shoots back and I bite my tongue. I’m not surprised when Jack looks over at me.

“You're off your head, mate! That-” Charlie begins to say in protest, but Jack cuts him off.

“Charlie, calm down. That's a stretch, Sayid,” Jack says, all along with a side glance at me. I wonder if he’s looking for facial confirmation. I decide to give him a half nod. Jack presses his lips together tightly.

“Then tell me, doctor, how many times have you diagnosed actual amnesia and such a selective brand of it?” Sayid replies and I hold back a smirk at the fact Sayid is questioning the doctor. The spinal surgeon. While I get they’re trying to make Jack the hero, I know for a fact there is no way he remembers this sort of stuff from med school. Hell, I don’t and I’m in it. Or was I guess, now.

“Okay, it's rare,” Jack says, finally stopping his weird side glances, “But she's been through a major trauma. It is possible that her memory reset to the crash.”

“And the chances of that memory returning?” Locke asks, but the question is not to Jack, it’s to me. Jack unashamedly looks at me now, everyone does. 

“I don’t know, it wasn’t ever explained,” I lie, obviously. But maybe they’ll buy it with Jack on my side, “Producers, y’know?”

Charlie rolls his eyes and I’ve completely decided I don’t like him as a character anymore, “You know what? You guys can talk about Claire all you want. I'm actually going to go spend some time with her. I get the impression she might still be a tad upset.” 

Charlie goes running off. I don’t say anything to the rest of them and take off after him. I know what’s happening next and maybe I can back Ethan off of Charlie. Chances are I can’t, but I’m willing to save Charlie’s neck this one time. Only because Ethan gives me the hella creeps.

I see Jin up ahead walking with his fishing net. Charlie comes running up with me right on his tail. Charlie scoffs at me and I don’t bother engaging. I only hope Ethan doesn’t knock me out with a rock as well.

“Oi, Jin. You heading back to the caves?” Charlie exclaims and I wave at Jin. Jin nods his head at me slightly and I’m hoping Sun has told him good things about me, otherwise, I’m probably in trouble. Early series Jin isn’t one to mess with.

“안녕,” Jin replies and I can only assume it means hello. At least from my old google translate days when I watched the show. 

“Safety in numbers, right? Of course, you have no idea what I'm talking about. How nice it must be to not be involved in the bloody insanity that surrounds us at every turn,” Charlie says with a glance at me. He’s starting to ramble and I look around slowly in preparation, “It's quite beautiful, really. You take care of your wife. Everything else is someone else's problem. No need to be involved in the decision-making process. No tree-shaking behemoths, French transmissions, just sweet, bloody ignorance. You don't know how lucky you are, you know. Must be nice. You wake up and…”

Suddenly we hear a whirring sound. Predictably, they both look around like wild prey looking for their predator. I know better, steeling myself for an attack.

“What?” Charlie says and Jin gets pegged with a rock and collapses. Ethan appears and walks up to Charlie and me.

“Charlie, I want her back,” Ethan says, then whips his head to me, “Amelia, funny to see you here.”

“Wonderful to see you too, Ethan, really fantastic,” I say very sarcastically and with a roll of my eyes.

“What? I…” Charlie says and looks worriedly between the two of us. I stand in between Charlie and Ethan. 

“I want you to bring her back,” Ethan replies, taking a step towards the both of us. Charlie grabs onto my shoulder in fear and I internally smirk at his spinelessness. 

“We both know that’s not going to happen,” I try to say as bravely as I can, “We’ll kill you first.”

It’s not a lie and there's no way for Ethan to call me out on any bluff. For once I’m using my knowledge as a threat, to protect the people I care about. Even if Charlie did punch me in my stab wound that one time. Ethan is going to be killed, and I’m going to be the one to do it, not Charlie. I’ll make sure of it, maybe it’ll send my dear friend Ben a message.

“What did you do to her?” Charlie says nervously and it breaks me out of my thoughts. I try to shield Charlie as much as I can but I don’t feel him grab a stick and try to hit Ethan with it, “What did you do?!”

Then, and this is what I’m not expecting, Ethan grabs me by the neck and lifts me up against a tree. I grab at his hand and claw at his arm. I try to not panic but it’s kind of hard not to when pushed so pathetically up against the tree. I knew this would happen, but certainly not to me. I’m starting to not be able to breathe and Ethan starts to speak.

“You bring her here. If you don't, I'm going to kill one of them. And then, if you don't bring her back before sundown tomorrow, I'll kill another, and another, and another. One every day,” Ethan says and finally drops me. I collapse to the ground to see Ethan turning to Charlie, “And Charlie, I'll kill you last.”

Ethan leaves and we’re left alone. I’m surprised when Charlie rushes to my side and helps me sit up. He leaves a hand on my shoulder until I look up at him with a more steady sense of breathing. Charlie holds out his hands and I use it to pull myself up.

“You need to be more careful Charlie,” I say exasperatedly, “Ethan is not someone to mess around with.”

“You two seem pretty cozy,” Charlie says hostilely, “Are you sure I can trust you?” 

I scoff and then laugh. Charlie regards me with a stand-offish expression. I just shake my head and reply, “He knows me only because his leader knows me. Where Ethan is from, I’m a threat.”

“Where is he from? What the bloody hell do you mean Amelia?!” Charlie shouts and I hold up my hand and take a step to back away.

“Listen Charlie, sooner or later you’re going to have to accept that I’m on your side. I came out here to help you because I knew Ethan would do what he did. Knock out Jin, and push you against the tree. I didn’t know I would be taking your place in that, though, since I came along,” I try to stay as calm as possible. While Charlie isn’t a loose cannon like Michael, he does get pretty violent pretty soon. I want to make sure I’m not going to get shot.

Charlie seems satisfied with my answer, and I watch as he seems to mull things over. He looks over at Jin and I glance as well. I know Sun is going to take care of him but I feel bad just leaving him here. I don’t know what happened between the two scenes, and I want to make sure Sun will find Jin. Or at least that he’ll wake up. 

“What about Jin?” Charlie asks, voicing my concerns out loud, and in fewer words. 

“Sun will find him, he’ll be okay,” I reply, still looking at Jin lying unconscious on the jungle floor.

“We need to get back to the beach,” Charlie says and I nod.

“Lead the way,” I say as I gesture the way we came from. With one last look at our surroundings, I follow Charlie at a hurried pace back to the beach.

I must have zoned out because I’m startled when Charlie shouts, “What do we do? We go out and we bloody kill him!”

Locke raises his hands slowly at Charlie, “Calm down, Charlie. We don't want the others to get upset and…”

However Charlie interrupts him, “Forget the others. He's out there right now, Locke.” He’s practically spitting venom. 

Then Jack butts in, “I think he's right. The man threatens to kill one of us unless we bring him Claire, and what, we just wait for that to happen? We tracked him once before, we can track him again.”

“You both seem to have forgotten how that turned out,” Locke says and turns to Jack first, “He bested you physically,” he turns to Charlie, “He hung you from a tree,” and finally he turns to me, “now Amelia is getting choked up trees with a healing stab wound. Running into the jungle unarmed is not going to get the job done.”

I sigh indignantly and jump in before Charlie speaks, “I’d like to mention that I was helping Charlie not get shoved up that tree. Also, you need to stop worrying so much, Ethan’s threats are empty.”

Locke regards me for a moment before replying, “Just how do you know this?”

“Because she’s a bloody spy that’s how!” Charlie shouts more at me than at Locke. Jack quickly steps up to me and places himself between me and Charlie.

“Those are some serious accusations, Charlie,” Jack says in a pretty menacing tone, “Locke, do we really need to go through this again?”

“Go through what?” Locke says with an air of innocence. Man he has been pissing me off more than he ever did in the show. Maybe he is just far more insufferable in person than an actor could ever portray.

“Oh right,” Charlie says while rolling his eyes, “She just knows everything. This is bullshit Jack.”

“Hey! I’m trying to help here, Charlie,” I shout at him, moving Jack roughly to the side so I can shove my finger into Charlie’s chest. He seems taken aback, “You better be fucking careful about what you say to me-”

“Why? So your big bad boyfriend Sawyer can come get me?” Charlie interrupts, Jack stares at me in surprise.

I scoff and I honestly don’t know how I hide my surprise at his comment so well, maybe because my next angry statement is out of my mouth before I can register it, “Because dipshit I know how, when, where, and who is gonna die so I’d be careful running your mouth to someone who could save your fucking life.”

The group is silent and staring and I realize that perhaps I’ve made a really big mistake. It’s quickly replaced with anger when Charlie spits at my feet and walks away. I make a move to run after him but Jack traps me with his arms hooked under my armpits and I do nothing but kick up sand. When I relax he releases me and I jump back from him, smoothing my shirt down my back to avoid anyone seeing my scars.

“Well, that was eventful,” Locke says, nonplussed. I roll my eyes and decide to get back to the predetermined dialogue. 

“So what does get the job done?” I say in the calmest tone I can muster. I must not have done a good job because Locke’s face slips a little.

“We circle the wagons, tell a select few about the threat. We post some sentries here and back at the caves,” Locke finally says regarding Jack and me. Jack glances at me so quickly I almost miss it.

“Tell a select few? He does what he says he going to do and that blood's on our hands,” Jack shoots back and I want to kick him. I almost don’t want to argue because I figure what’s the point if the script is still going to play out. Maybe the combined stubbornness of Jack and Locke is too much for my “powers.”

“Okay, Jack, we tell everyone. But, you want to protect them, you need to start thinking defense,” Locke says and I sigh.

“We move everybody off the beach, back up into the caves,” Jack responds and I decide to jump in for another fruitless attempt before Locke speaks up.

“Jack that is a fucking stupid idea. Ethan is definetly hiding in the jungle,” I roll my eyes and Jack makes a tight-lipped expression at me. Maybe I shouldn’t be so mean after he just defended me.

“And to add, what if Ethan isn't alone? What if he delivered his threat so that we would gather like sheep to the slaughter in a confined space where they can roll in and take us all in one fell swoop,” I say again, stealing Locke’s line and feeling super smug about it. I sort of hate him right now.

“Okay, Amelia. Obviously, you have a plan. So, let's hear it,” Jack says and I am momentarily shocked by the change in what Jack says. Either way I continue with the story.

After our conversation Locke and Jack go their separate ways. I don’t really know what to do so I follow Jack in silence. We walk all the way back to the caves in silence. It’s kind of odd and I feel weird not saying anything. He still doesn’t say anything to me when we make it to the caves and and we sit down. Jack starts sharpening a knife and I stare into the waterfall. I don’t know how long we sit there. I feel like Jack wants to say something, but before he can Kate approaches.

“You look hungry,” she says and throws Jack a fruit. She nods in acknowledgement of me. I raise my hand as a stupid wave.

“Thanks,” Jack responds shortly. I look at Kate to see her expression but I don’t find one I can decipher easily. 

“Locke told us what happened. Why do you think he wants her back?” Kate asks and I almost think to get up to leave.

“I don't know,” Jack says and Kate seems to get a bit antsy. 

“Maybe it's time you use that key you know Amelia has been hiding. There are 4 nine millimeters in the Marshal's case and-” Kate says and I’m surprised. However Jack cuts Kate off.

“Uh-uh. No. I hand them out, someone hears something out in the jungle and gets scared, the chances of us shooting each other are much higher than of us shooting him,” Jack says calmly but I know he’s not. I sort of forgot about the case, I tucked it away so carefully in my tent it was like out of sight out of mind. 

“We're beyond sharpening knives here, Jack,” Kate reasons and her voice shakes me from my thoughts.

“I am not putting guns in untrained hands,” Jack responds with a sense of finality. He gets up and walks away leaving me and Kate to look at each other. Eventually Kate nods to me and I get up and go with her. Wherever the hell that is.

“I thought those guys had a full on perimeter set up?” Hurley says somewhat nervously. I gnaw at my fingernails. It’s a habit I’ve seem to pick up over the past couple of days. It’s not enough to distract me from the ever growing sense of guilt and doom, but its something.

“Locke said it didn't matter -- he came in from the water,” Kate sighs and I inhale sharply. I’m worried for my own life. Ethan said he would kill Charlie last, meaning I was one of the potential targets. He needs to die, and soon.

“You sure it wasn't an accident? I mean, maybe the guy just drowned or something,” Hurley tries to say but Kate just shakes her head. 

“His neck was broken, both his arms, all the bones in his fingers.”

“Yeah, okay. Got it.”

Then Sawyer strolls up to the scene and throws his arm over my shoulders, “So, Steve drew the short straw,” he says.

“Dude, that was Scott,” Hurley replied and Kate scoffs at Sawyer. I look up at him and he grins at me. Then both Hurley and Kate walk away, discussing Ethan and what Locke should or should not be doing. Sawyer pulls his arm off me once Kate walks away. I cross my arm and look up at him.

“Are you only doing that to piss off Kate?” I ask with a tad bit more malice than I intend. This seems to take Sawyer by surprise.

“What do you mean blue eyes? I’m not doin’ anything,” He seems to understand because his words have a sense of playfulness to them. I’m not having any of it.

“Well you seem to only come around and flirt with me when Kate is around,” I huff and my face turns red, “It’s not nice to toy with a girls feelings.”

Sawyer’s smile turns into a shit-eating grin and I suddenly feel very hot, “Now what do you mean by that?”

I stumble backwards as Sawyer takes a step closer. I just realized what I said now I can’t think of anything to say to get out of it. Instead I just end up sputtering pathetically while trying my hardest not to sink into the ground with embarrassment. Sawyer chuckles and grabs my waist when he finally approaches. My skin is prickling where his fingers make contact with the sliver of skin under the hem of my shirt. All I can do it stare wide-eyed at Sawyer as he leans down to whisper in my ear.

“Here I was thinkin’ you were always around ‘cause you had nothing better to do,” Sawyer’s breath is warm in my ear and I can’t suppress the shudder that makes its way up my spine, “Now the truth is out, you have a little crush on me. Don’t ya blue eyes.”

“Let go of me-” I say sharply. I don’t really mean it but we’re standing in the middle of the beach where everyone can see us. I feel extremely embarrassed, I’m sure I’m making glass out of the sand below me with how hot my body is from embarrassment.

Things get worse when I hear Jack suddenly shout something at Sawyer. He launches back from me and I hide my tomato face in my hands. Then Jack is upon us.

“The hell are you doing Sawyer?” Jack says angrily and I peek out behind my fingers.

Sawyer shrugs noncommittally and with a lopsided smile says, “Nothin’ Doc, just teasing ole blue eyes here. Completely harmless.”

“Whatever,” Jack responds. I’m surprised he lets it go so quickly. However, now turning to me Jack says, “Amelia I need the case.”

I drop my hands and Sawyer looks upset, “Right. Yeah it’s in my tent. Let’s go,” I reply and can slowly feel my face cool down. Jack turns and I move to go with.

“Hang on a tick,” Sawyer says and I can’t help but roll my eyes. Jack stops and turns again to face Sawyer.

“What now Sawyer?” Jack seems more annoyed than when he first came over.

“I seem to recall retrieving a case from a lake with blue eyes here. Could that be what you’re referencing?” Sawyer replies and I roll my eyes again and decide to respond.

“Yes but as I seem to recall, you willingly gave it to me. So if you’re wanting it back just because Jack is interested then you are out of luck dimples.”

Sawyer doesn’t seem to be in a fighting mood today, so he just shrugs and walks away with a cheeky wave to Jack and I. I raise my eyebrows back to Jack. He doesn’t say anything as he turns around and starts walking down the beach to my tent. I jog to catch up with him and walk in silence until I retrieve the case from the hidden place in my tent.

As Jack and I approach, I see Boone sharpening a spear with a knife while Locke is next to him. We bypass Boone and head straight for Locke. My grip on the case tightens significantly as we pass Boone. I can feel his eyes on me but I stare straight ahead. I don’t think Jack knows what transpired between us, and I don’t intend to tell him anytime soon. When we stand in front of Locke he looks at the both of us with a curious expression.

“John, want to take a walk?” Jack says and immediately Locke stands up. We walk away a bit. Once we stop I stick one of my hands into my pocket. I feel for the key and the metal is cold when my fingers brush it. I slip it out of my pocket and hold it in the opposite hand the case is in. Then Jack speaks again.

“What do you think happens after the sun sets tonight?”

Locke mock ponders for a moment, “Oh, if we don't bring Claire to him? Rhetorical, Jack. Same thing happens tonight as happened last night.”

“You think you can track him?”

“Well, I'm sorry?”

“We know where he attacked Jin, Amelia, and Charlie. Do you think you can pick up the trail?”

Locke pauses before he responds, “Maybe, but I wouldn't.”

“Wouldn't?” Jack replies. He seems upset and I try not to look at him. 

“Jack, I'm not a cold man. I feel for the loss of one of our own, but nothing fundamental is changed,” Locke says slowly, “Wherever he is, wherever he comes from, we're on Ethan's turf. He has the advantage. To him we're nothing more than a bunch of scared idiots with sharp sticks.”

“What if I told you I had a way to get the advantage back?” Jack says and i finally look at him. Jack holds an expecting expression and the case feels a bit heavier in my hand. I’m getting nervous about shooting Ethan, but if all goes to plan then Charlie should have no way to get a gun.

“Then I would ask: what way might that be, Jack?” Locke says and I can see that his eyes drift to the case in my hands for a moment.

Jack turns to me again and I crouch down and set the case on its side. I fit the key into the lock and open it slowly. Carefully I slip the key back into my pocket and show the men the contents of the case. Locke lets out a low whistle and I look expectantly up at Jack.

“Why, doctor, you've been holding out on us,” Locke says then turns to me, “Or doctors I suppose.”

I smile slightly as Jack replies, “I'm guessing you know how to handle one of these?”

Jack picks a gun up out of the case and holds the it out to Locke who then takes it apart and puts it back together. Jack nods and I close up the case and lock it once again. I carefully put the key back in my pocket again and hold the case with two hands as we all stand. Jack and I walk away from Locke and start making our way to the caves. Locke returns to his place beside Boone and they start making conversation. I glance back and notice Boone side-eyeing me. I inhale sharply and turn away. And so the games begin. 

Once Jack and I arrive at the caves, Charlie and Sayid join us. We talk for a little while. I nervously bite my fingernails until Locke shows up. I’m not sure why we didn’t just go to the caves together. I guess Locke had to say something to Boone before we left. Then Jack starts to explain the plan we have with Claire. Unfortunately, Charlie is upset and decides to speak his mind.

“Are you insane?!” Charlie says angrily and for once I don’t roll my eyes at his opposition. From his point of view it’s a terrible plan, especially since he cares for Claire. However…

“It's the best chance we have, Charlie,” Jack says, almost finishing my private thoughts out loud.

“No bloody way!” Charlie shouts and Sayis puts a hand on his shoulder.

“If you want to capture Ethan, we have to ensnare him. And the only way do that is by giving him what he wants,” Sayid says calmly but it doesn’t calm Charlie.

“You have no idea what you're talking about. This guy, he will kill all of you. You can't protect her…” Charlie says, but then Claire waddles in and speaks over him.

“Charlie, I can talk for myself,” she says and I smile at her.

“Claire, they want to use you as bait,” Charlie says, trying to reason with her after he shakes Sayid’s hand off of his shoulder.

“I don't remember Ethan. I don't remember what he did to me. But if I can help stop him from hurting anyone else, I have to do that,” Claire sounds brave but I can tell she’s nervous. Now to make sure Charlie can’t mess up my plan.

“I'm coming with you. You said there were 4 guns,” I say. Jack and Locke look at me.

“You ever fire a weapon, Amelia?” Locke says with a smile that is supposed to put me down. I straighten my shoulders.

“Actually I have, didn’t you hear about the polar bear?” I say defiantly and Locke just shrugs. I notice Charlie seething out of the corner of my eye and have to suppress the smile. +1 for Amelia Kassman.

“Alright, we should do this. Let's figure out a game plan. Alright, Sayid, you're the soldier. Locke, you're the hunter. . .” Jack begins and we flesh out the plan. While nervousness is still eating a hole in my stomach, the determination for what I have to do is pushing me forward. I’ve only ever shot a polar bear, and that was purely on luck since I knew exactly where it would be.

“Amelia’s right,” Locke says as we make our way back to the beach. I already knew where we were heading.

“About what?” Jack asks, and I glance over at the two of them. We arrive at the beach as Locke makes his next statement:

“We have 4 guns, we should have 4 men.”

So we walk over to Sawyer and Kate joins us halfway through. She doesn’t ask where were going, but I know she is somewhat aware of the plan. Sawyer spots the group of us walking. He catches my eye first and gives me a wink. My face turns red again as he stands up to meet us halfway.

Once he approaches, Jack says, “We need your help capturing Ethan.”

“Help? Moi?” Sawyer asks with a dramatic hand to his chest. I stifle a laugh.

“You know how to handle a gun, or not?” Jack asks, not having any of Sawyer’s bullshit.

“Yeah I think I can handle it,” Sawyer says and Jack hands him a gun. The line changed and I notice. He was supposed to say he shot the polar bear. I almost forgot about that. Then Sawyer says, “Where'd you get the hardware, Hoss?”

Jack doesnt respond and Kate speaks up, “I want to come.”

“Sorry, we're out of guns. And no one goes out there unarmed,” Jack replies as he shakes his head.

“How much ammo you got?” Sawyer says, glancing at me then back at our tents. Damn, I completely forgot Saywer has another gun.

“100 rounds give or take,” Jack says with a noncommittal shrug

Sawyer raises an eyebrow, considering their options. “All 9's, right? 9 millimeters -- the guns?” he asks.

“Yeah, why?” Jack responds, curious.

“Because, if the lady wants to come...” Sawyer trails off, retrieving a gun from his tent. “Lifted this off the Marshal back in the old days. Remember him, don't you? Surly guy, kind of square of jaw, carries a Sig 9.”

Jack's expression tightens with a mix of acknowledgment and disapproval. “Yeah, I remember you shot him. And missed.”

Sawyer chuckles. “Yeah, well, bygones. And hell, 5 guns are better than 4.”

We prepare to head out into the jungle and I glance over at the feeling of being watched. I notice Charlie staring at us with a mutinous look in his eye and I feel glad to be the one who I going to shoot Ethan to save some heat from Charlie. Maybe he won’t like me as much, but maybe if I’m able to explain it to him, he’ll finally understand what I’m trying to do here. Once we’re all gathered up and ready to do with the guns in our hands Sayid starts to explain the plan to Claire.

“He'll be surrounded at 5 points. Everyone will be in visual contact with you,” Sayid says, first turned to Claire. Once she nods in understanding he continues, “Make sure you stay in the area I've shown you.” Sayid turns to the rest of us and says, “And remember, guns are a measure of the last resort. We want him alive.”

“That’s not going to happen.” I think.

I turn back before we head out, and just like originally Charlie is watching us leave. The sky is cloudy as we walk into the jungle. We walk in line, Jack leading with Claire, then Locke, Sayid, Kate, Sawyer, and me bringing up the rear. Right before we make it to a clearing it beings to rain, pouring. Just like it happened before. My heart is pounding in anticipation, and Sawyer must sense the energy I give off because he looks back at me every so often. Everytime I give him a brave smile, trying not to seem too nervous about killing someone. Not that he knows that.

We arrive to where Jack things a suitable spot is. A clearing with trees that are easy to climb. Sayid climbs a tree and Claire stands in the middle of the clearing in the rain waiting for Ethan to come. Sawyer, Jack, myself, Kate, and Locke are hiding just out of sight, positioned all around the clearing. I ready my gun, waiting for Ethan to approach. After wating for a while Ethan suddenly appears and starts chasing Claire.

We all take off after Ethan. Jack circles around and runs in to tackle Ethan, which ends in him losing his gun. The rest of us come to help as Jack and Ethan slug each other. My pants are muddy and my hair clings to my forehead. I linger behind, wanting to make sure nobody sees me load the bullets into the chamber to prepare for what Charlie is supposed to do. My hands shake and I try my best to steady them. I don’t want to miss.

Then Locke shouts, “Over here! Over here! Jack's got him! Hold your fire. Don't shoot. We want him alive. Claire!” Locke runs over to her, making sure she’s nowhere near Ethan. “You alright?” He asks Claire and she gives a very shaky nod. I wait for Sawyer’s line patiently. Nobody seems to notice I’m hanging back. Perfect.

Sawyer comes running up with Kate following, “Over here!” 

“Hey, hold your fire!” Sayid shouts at them, and they lower their guns slightly.

“Easy,” Sawyer growls and Jack lands a particularly good punch on Ethan. Jack finally eases up and gets up off of him. Everyone moves in closer to make sure he is down.

“Winner by a knockout. Nice one, Doc. Now, maybe somebody can tell me just who or what this son-of-bitch is!” Sawyer says, his hair getting into his mouth as he shouts. Then, Ethan starts to get up, and everybody points their gun at him.

“Uh, uh, uh, jungle boy. Not even for one second,” Sawyer says, raising his gun higher and aiming right where I’m going to shoot. His line was my queue and I pull the trigger.

Ethan is shot in the chest 6 times. Everybody whips around as Ethan collapses into the mud and the gun is still smoking in front of me. My hands are shaking and Sawyer looks at me in disbelief, but with a tinge of pride. Everyone else, however, looks at me even more terrified than they did when they found out I was from the future. 

“Amelia?!” Jack shouts, the first words anyone seems to make out. I know he is supposed to say Charlie, so my plan worked out perfectly, even though I had to kill somebody. I’m sure that won’t be the last time.

I tuck the gun in the back of my jeans and without saying a word I begin trekking back to the beach. Halfway back the rain stops and I’m grateful for it. Nobody called for me, nobody ran after me, so obviously they were all pretty stunned. To be honest I’m surprised at myself for handling murdering Ethan so well. I didn’t really like him, well actually I hated him, and knowing Juliet delivered him as a baby doesn’t do much to dampen the feelings I have. Eventually, I make it back to the beach, still soaked to the bone and sweaty at the same time. I immediately head towards the case and put the gun back where it once was, after properly emptying the chamber, double checking the safety, and ejecting the mag. Then I lock it all back up, slip the key into my pocket, and decide to sit in the sand to dry off until the party eventually comes back.

Jack eventually comes and finds me, toes dipped into the edge of the waves. I don’t say anything when I hear him approach. I knew he would, it’s what he did when Charlie was the one to shoot Ethan, and I know this Island well enough by now that if I take someone’s place then it’ll just fill in everything that happens anyway. He sits by me, keeping his feet well away from the waves kissing the edge of his boots. I can feel Jack’s gaze on me, searching for answers in the depths of my earlobe. 

"Why did you do it, Amelia?" Jack’s voice is soft, but his tone carries a weight of disbelief.

I turn to meet his gaze squarely, feeling the weight of his disappointment. "Because he deserved to die," I reply evenly, trying to keep my emotions in check. I don’t regret what I did. Not yet.

Jack shakes his head, his expression conflicted. "He could have told us where he came from, what he wanted with Claire, why he…"

"Do you really think he would have told us anything, Jack?" I interrupt, my voice edged with frustration. "I wasn't going to let that animal anywhere near her again. Ever. For Charlie’s sake."

"But we–" Jack starts, but I cut him off.

"But we nothing," I assert, feeling my patience wearing thin. "Anything you want to know, I know. You just have to be willing to actually listen. That’s been the problem the whole time. You don’t seem to trust me."

"I trust you," Jack insists, his voice tinged with defensiveness.

I sigh, feeling the weight of our strained relationship pressing down on me. "Well, it really doesn’t seem like it," I retort. "For whatever reason, you and the rest of this camp are very wary of me. Maybe it’s the Sawyer thing for those who don’t know, which I find hard to believe that anyone doesn’t actually know." I pause, taking a deep breath to steady myself. "People give me wide berths. Even if I’m the only other doctor on this Island, the rest of these background characters don’t trust me."

"Background…?" Jack starts to question, but I plow on, needing to get this off my chest.

"That’s beside the point, Jack," I continue, my frustration bubbling to the surface. "I just want you and Locke to listen to me for once. This whole ‘I’m going to do whatever I want because I know best’ attitude isn’t making me want to share anything. It’s only driving a wedge, and Sawyer seems to be the only person I can trust to not blab."

The words hang heavy in the air between us, the tension thick and suffocating. I can see the conflict in Jack’s eyes, the struggle to reconcile his trust in me with his sense of duty and responsibility to the rest of the group. But until he’s willing to truly listen, to see me as more than just a kid or another survivor he has to protect, our relationship will remain strained, and the truth will continue to elude us.

He doesn’t say anything else and I’m glad for it. I didn’t really want to talk to him beyond the predetermined dialouge anyway. After a few minutes, he leaves, a hand brushing over my shoulder in some sort of goodbye. It makes my sink prickle with anger, but I do my best to push it down. Things have changed, I can feel it. With Jack, with Sawyer, with everyone.

Maybe now they’ll take me a little seriously.

LOST ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

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[nova-lost]

FIRST POST HI

Account for EVERYTHING Lost related - since I don't want to spam my other blog 🥀

About me!!!

- "Name" is Espresso

- 22 year old

- Genderfluid, they/she pronouns

- "Main"-blog is @varganardi - interaction done from @/espresso-macchiato

- Autism, adhd & anxiety (basically have patience w me lol)

- Aspiring author and currently writing my first book!! Lost is a big inspiration for me <3

- Yumeshipper

- Currently hyperfixated on Lost - duhhh.

I'm on season 6 - so don't spoil the show please 🙏🏻

Losties please interact!!!

Basic DNI criterias - bigoted people, rasicsts, homo-/transphobes etc + proship DNI

Tags / navigation [WIP]

# show discussion # spoilers

# lore # clover # nova cliff

LOOKING FORWARD!!!

[lostie2017]

Haiii, first post, I’m Lostie and I make music and create art, I also like analog horror and such. I’m also HelPol. I’m Bi and Agender with all pronouns.