#the most effort i've spent on One joke

[saphiccarma]

Heyyy, I've never requested anything before so hopefully this isnt too much 😭 but could u do agathario x reader, where reader dies maybe from like disease or she somehow gets caught in a scene where agatha is trying to steal a covens power, and like rio doing everything to fight against her duty and having to take one of her lovers, maybe reader doesn't die instantly but she's like dying in agathas arms and is trying to soothe her wives. Idk if that makes sense its ok if you can't 😭 i hope you have a great day💕💕

- It was not your fault, but mine.

Relationships - Agatha Harkness x Rio Vidal x Reader

Summary - Being married to Agatha and Rio was perhaps your favorite thing ever, the best part of your life. You wanted to be with them forever, but that wish is threatened when you touch a mysterious object outside and fall ill.

Warnings: Major character death, angst

A/N: I love this so much and it was fun to write. Thank you for the request!

You had technically got married to Agatha and Rio for about a year now. Since your type of relationship wasn't excepted by the town you lived in, the three of you got quietly married in a little cottage in the middle of the woods. This was where you spent most of your time, sitting in the cottage and reading books, or picking flowers, or testing out new recipes you wanted to try. Agatha and Rio come and go as they please, always too busy to stay in one place, and you were fine with that. They were still good wives.

Absent mindedly you kicked a rock, the little stone flying across the leaf littered ground and crashing into a tree. They had both been gone for weeks and you had heard no sign of them, no magical raven that had a letter attached to its foot, no quick check in, nothing. While you trusted them and their abilities it had begun to worry you. You stumbled a bit, tripping across something that protruded out of the ground. Letting out a quiet curse, you looked back to see what it was.

A glowing rock, a faint pink hue emitting off of it, sat nestled in the red and orange leaves. You crouched down and grabbed a stick next to you, pointing at it. When it did nothing, you reached towards it, and against your better judgement, picked it up. Searing pain shot through you, fiery sparks crackling through you. You gasped, your eyes squeezing shut as you tried to drop the rock. It didn't fall from your hand as intended. Panic spread through you rapidly as your heart beat faster and faster. The thing was now a bright pink, sparkling so bright it hurt your eyes, and stuck to your hand.

Pain coursed your body, every inch of you filled with searing pain. In a brief moment of clarity, you grabbed a stick from the ground, and making a big effort, traced a circle in the dirt and drew an X through it. Words were whispered from your mouth slowly as you chanted the spell. The lines in the dirt began to glow a soft green color and it wasn't long before they flashed brightly before disappearing.

"I was in the middle of something darling," Rio began, her tone playful and light. Then she paused, her eyes catching on your hand. "What happened?"

You grunted, "I don't know."

She rolled her eyes at your lack of response, taking a step closer and trying to grab your hand. You yanked it away, afraid she would get hurt as well, and that was the last thing you wanted. Rio rolled her eyes once more, fixing you with a reprimanding look.

"Let me see." Rio took your wrist in her hand, not caring much to be gentle, and turned it over, examining the stone. A curious hum escaped her as she poked at it.

"Well?" you hissed, flinching as her nails dug into your skin. She dug her nails deeper, ignoring your whimper of pain, and drew blood. The red droplets spread down your wrist. "What the hell Rio?" You were not in the mood for her jokes right now.

Your wife smiled at you, her dashing and cheeky smile that you had grown to love. Slowly, eyes meeting yours the entire time, she brought your hand up to her mouth and licked strip across the crescent shaped marks. The second she did so, your hand loosened and the rock dropped from your grip, landing on the floor with a thunk. A sigh of relief escaped you as you fell to the ground, laying on your back with your arms spread out. The searing pain that had coated your body dispersed.

Rio chuckled above you, her eyes sparkling with mischief, "Better?"

You nodded, rubbing your wrist absent mindedly, still feeling her soft lips there.

"You know what would make it even better?" You raised both your brows, "A kiss."

Laughing softly, her eyes rolling once more, Rio crouched down. Her lips met yours in a harsh kiss, she was never gentle.

^___________^

It turns out, the three of you had found, that the rock carried a deadly curse. Agatha had kicked the thing, sending it flying before Rio reluctantly retrieved it. The two had been frantically trying to find a cure, despite their supposed casual appearance, you knew it was stressing them out. While they were plagued with the stress of finding a cure, you were plagued with constant pain.

A sharp pain that shot through you. Some days it was manageable, some days it left you crippled in bed, unable to move and barely able to talk. Those were the days that worried your wives the most. Today, thankfully, was one of the good days. You sat with Agatha on the porch, her arms wrapped around you.

"You know I wanted kids," you said suddenly, your fingers toying with her own as you twisted them together, "Or at least one."

You felt Agatha inhale sharply, "We'll have them," she said fiercely, "We can have kids." The sun was setting slowly in the distance, the sky a perfect hue of pink and red. You always had loved the sunsets, and the sunrises, but there was something special about sunsets.

In the distance you could see Rio, perched by the edge of the woods, green magic swirling around her as she did who knows what. She had asked to be alone during the time being. But still, you couldn't help but watch as her arms moved fluidly to cast the spells, her body moving as if in a dance. A soft smile crossed your face.

"Agatha," you whispered softly, "You know that's not going to happen." Looking up at her, you saw her jaw clenched and a dangerous glimmer in your eyes. You knew, that if you died Agatha would take it the hardest. She would blame Rio and that was the last thing you wanted. You gently tugged her fingers, intertwining yours with hers.

"I'd want a boy I would name him Nicholas, little Nicky for short. Ideally, he would have Rio's eyes and your hair, my face, he would be perfect," you smiled up at her, pleased to see a dreamy look in her eyes. It wasn't often that Agatha indulged in fantasies about the future, but she always tried with you. You could imagine a boy, brown eyes that were darker than the night sky, but could hold so much emotion like his mother. Brown hair that was just a little bit wavey, and you would let it grow out if he wanted it to. And lastly, your smile, your nose, all your facial features. He would be the perfect mix up of the three of you. Something that was created through a force of love, but no outside magic used.

Her features softened even further when you winced, a pain flaring up in your back. You waved away her concern, straightening out.

"Would we make him with a spell?" she asked, her voice lowered to match yours.

You shook your head, "No. We would make him from scratch. No incantaion, no spell, no magic."

A little laugh escaped Agatha. She pressed her lips down onto your head, burrowing herself in your hair.

"Whatever you say my love."

^_____________^

You sat in the fields, twisting flowers in your hands to form a crown. This one was made with dandelions, the stems intertwined as you threaded them through each other. Two other crowns sat next to you, one with azaleas and the other with black roses. You had plucked the thorns off of course, not that Rio would care.

One of the perks of being married to a green witch was that she could produce any flowers you wanted, and she did just that. Rio always grew flowers if you asked them, even if she rolled her eyes and said they were too colorful for her taste, she wanted to make you happy.

Your fingers twitched as pain flared through you, but you worked through the pain. The two had gone out that morning in search of other possible cures, but promised to be back in time to sleep with you. The sun was setting in the distance, the sky a beautiful gradient of orange and yellow.

Crows cawed above you, their black wings flapping as they soared in circles. A little smile flitted across your face. Both of your lovers adored crows, their passion for them always made you happy. Before you had more time to ponder if Rio was up in the crows, there was a hot breath in your ear.

“Boo.”

You jumped away, placing a hand over your heart as you glared at Rio. She was cackling, nearly falling back into Agatha who stood with an amused smile on her face. The purple witch shoved Rio away, moving forward and placing a tender kiss on your lips.

“I made you something,” you scooped up the azalea flower crown and stood, placing it one her head despite her pout, “Can’t you at least pretend to like it?”

Agatha rolled her eyes, “It’s amazing darling, I love it.”

Smiling happily, you rewarded her with a soft kiss before turning to Rio who was watching the scene quietly. You weren’t even sure when she had stopped laughing.

“Ooo,” she cooed, stepping closer, her finger curling as she took hold of her crown, “I love it, my love.”

You blushed at her words. While you loved Agatha’s pet names, Rio’s did something to you. The Green Witch placed it on her head with a broad smile.

“Do you have one?” Rio looked around, her eyes landing on the dandelions in the grass. She reached down, scooping it up before placing it on your head with a proud smile.

Agatha came up behind you, wrapping her arms around your waist, “You look beautiful darling.”

A deep blush crossed your face when her breath fanned against your neck. Rio took a step closer, her finger curling under your chin. A sinister smirk crossed her face.

“Good enough to eat.”

^_____________^

You coughed harshly as you curled into a ball, pain flaring up everywhere in your body. Everything hurt and it felt like you were on fire. Agatha's fingers clutched you tightly, one of her hands carding through your hair as she attempted to comfort you. Rio was no where to be seen.

"Agatha," you choked out.

The woman above you shook her head, "Don't say it. You're fine. It'll pass."

You wanted to smile at her stubbornness, it was always your favorite trait about her. These past few days the curse had been getting worse, and Rio was disappearing more and more often. You knew what that meant. You were fairly certain Agatha knew what it meant, she just didn't want to admit it. Trying to fight through the sparks that shot through you, you played with her fingers, bringing them to your lips.

Your words were soft against her skin, "I love you."

"No, you have more time," she said harshly.

You felt it when Rio entered and based on Agatha's sharp inhale, you knew what she was here for. Painfully, you turned your head to look at Rio, clad in her green dress that represented the part of her that was alive. A bitter smile crossed your face.

"Don't take her," Agatha spat, her grip tightening on you despite your wince, "You can't." Trying to force words out of your mouth, you wanted to tell Agatha it was okay, that it wasn't Rio's fault. "If you do this I will hate you."

Rio's features flinched, but she made no move to step closer, "I held it off as long as I could."

"It's not her time," Agatha snarled.

While it was painful, you reached up, your hand cupping Agatha's cheek to force her to look at you, "My love," you whispered softly, "I have to go."

"No." She shook her head, so much desperation conveyed into that one movement.

"Don't hate her. Please? It's not her fault."

“I don’t want to do it,” Rio added, her voice wavering, and it was the first time you had ever heard her sound so fragile, so vulnerable.

Agatha's lower lip wobbled, tears shimmering in her eyes as she clenched her jaw, fighting off the sorrow. She closed her eyes, a small tear slipping out at the action and you wanted nothing more than to give her a big hug.

Her voice was oh so quiet when she whispered, "Okay."

A small smile spread across your face. It was only then that Rio came closer, bending down so her lips were just above yours. So many emotions were conveyed through her eyes. Words asking for forgiveness, ones that expressed her sadness, and some angry. You wanted to give her a hug too. Instead, Rio leant down, her lips brushing against yours.

The kiss deepened and that's when you felt the pain stop.

[hyunebunx]

maybe it's not our fault - chapter 03

── synopsis: after a nasty breakup that’s left you completely shattered, you’re set on giving up on love forever. That is until, in a surprising turn of events, your respective best friends start dating and one of their main goals is to restore the peace in your broken relationship. Will their plan succeed? Will they manage to play cupid and get you and your high school sweetheart back together, or will it all backfire and result in the end of their own love story?

There is only one way to find out. If only your beloved’s heart wasn’t already broken beyond repair…

╰─▸ ❝ pairing: hyunjin x fem!reader

╰─▸ ❝ content: exes to lovers, angst, mutual pining, fluff, suggestive themes, drama and heartbreak, jock!hyunjin who is captain of the uni's football team + dance major!hyunjin, college au, lack of communication.

╰─▸ ❝ word count: 16k

╰─▸ ❝ warnings: a lot of cursing, sex jokes, mentions of a threesome, arguments, hyunjin's angry 80% of this chapter.

a/n: this chapter is super long but i swear it doesn't feel like much fhdhhfgh. we have flashbacks, kissing, drama and angst <3 y/n thinks of hyunjin for the majority of the chapter lmao. i've been waiting for soo long to reveal everything that's happening here, so pls enjoy and let me know your thoughts <3<3<3

One year ago.

“Hwang! Out!”

Out of frustration, Hyunjin removes his helmet and throws it on the ground with such force that it almost ricochets back into his hand, grass debris flying up and staining his white uniform pants. He takes a moment to calm down amid the craziness of the game, running a hand through short, black hair as the coach continues yelling at him from afar.

Frozen on the spot, Hyunjin pauses a minute more, chest heaving from the effort while sweat clouds his vision, barely reacting as his teammate, the other quarterback passes by him and pats his back.

Concerned, you hurry down the steps, almost crashing into the short fence that separates the field from the audience, searching for his eyes. You want to call out, but he seems to snap out of it on his own, legs leading him back to the coach on autopilot.

“Hyun…” You lean over the fence, trying to understand what the older man is telling him, heart squeezing painfully in your chest as worry overwhelms you.

A little further away, Hyunjin has his head hung low as the coach scolds him, screaming in his face about what just transpired on the field. American football was an aggressive sport, one you never saw Hyunjin getting roped into. Your boyfriend was soft and gentle, all smiles and crinkled eyes – you never understood where this desire came from, seemingly sprouting out of nowhere.

He was an athletic guy, but artistic, dedicating most of his time to dancing and painting, with the casual swimming lesson here and then. So, when he suddenly told you, in your freshman year of university, that he was thinking of trying out for the football team, you were surprised.

Hyunjin has loved football for as long as you can remember. He was an excellent player, an asset for your high school’s football team for the two years he spent playing on it. But he never took it too seriously, looking at it as a means to destress and have fun with his friends, one of these sports he became fond of as a kid.

You never thought he’d go through with it, but he always loved surprising you. Not only did he do it, he even made it to captain in his first year, thanks to his great skills and leadership abilities.

Since then, Hyunjin’s plate has always been overflowing, barely juggling all his hobbies while remaining top of his class. One thing always had to suffer, get the short end of the stick and the least of his attention. Sometimes it was his grades, then his dancing, while other times he’d barely touch a pencil for months on end.

But never you. Your relationship never changed, no matter how busy or exhausted he was, Hyunjin put loving you on the pedestal he carried on his shoulders daily.

At last, the scolding ends, and with a forceful pat on his shoulder pads, the coach walks away and leaves your boyfriend stranded, benched for the time being.

“Hyunjin!”

His head shoots up instantly and you swear, besides the sweat, there’s now a hint of tears in his eyes. Frustrated and angry, they don’t dare roll down his cheeks in fear of getting his wrath.

Making his way over, you’re relieved to see his sharp edges soften, palms unclenching.

“Baby.” You coo the moment he’s near, instantly reaching to wipe his face with the towel you brought along, wanting to make him feel more comfortable. Without a word, he lets you pamper him while his eyes flutter shut, exhaling softly through his nose, chest already moving at a calmer pace.

Pushing his hair out of beautiful face, you rest the towel around his neck, his eyes following your every move until you offer him your opened water bottle, which he takes gratefully.

“It isn’t your fault.” You whisper, moving to wrap your arms over broad shoulders, pulling him into an embrace he returns instantly, strong arms around your middle almost lifting your body over the fence. “You did well. The coach saw you weren’t the one that started it.”

Conflicts on the field were rare but never nonexistent and as the captain, your boyfriend has had his fair share of them. Only this time, it got too far, with a guy from the other team getting into Hyunjin’s face to start a real, physical fight. Hyunjin usually didn’t engage, but this time he almost did, the guy’s nasty words getting under his skin.

Pulling back, you take his gloved hand into both of yours, gently massaging it. “Are you okay?”

His silence is concerning, out of character for the man who would usually talk your ear off about the most mundane things.

Eventually, Hyunjin’s lips part as he takes a deep breath, no longer able to meet your gaze. However, as he prepares to speak, someone beats him to it.

“Yo, Hwang! Get it together!” A familiar voice gets both of your attention and as you turn to the culprit, you see Jisung, frowning in his seat a few rows above while Chris next to him throws encouraging thumbs-ups your way. “Did you stub your thumb and need your girlfriend to kiss it better? Should she also get you a pacifier while she’s at it?”

He smirks, raising his chin defiantly, which certainly has the desired effect on your boyfriend. Without missing a beat, Hyunjin pries his hand out of yours, gently, and proudly raises his middle finger at the boy, making Jisung and everyone around him laugh.

You can’t help but roll your eyes, trying to bite back the smile that quickly widens when Hyunjin leans down without warning to peck your lips sweetly, not once, but two times, lingering there and basking in all the love and support your mere presence provides him with.

A few people in the audience, who seemed to have stopped following the game in favour of watching you, wolf whistle and cheer, deeming you more interesting. But your boyfriend doesn’t care, he never does when your arms are around him, grounding him and chasing all of his anger and negative emotions away.

When he pulls back, the smile on his lips is genuine as he rests his forehead on yours. “God, Jisung is so fucking annoying.”

You giggle, stealing another kiss he returns eagerly, cupping your face to bring you closer and lick into your mouth, not being able to hold himself back any longer. It’s hot and passionate, almost like he wants to eat you whole without caring about who’s here to witness it, adrenaline still pumping through his veins. He tilts his head to deepen the kiss, insatiable, and you barely hold yourself back from moaning into his mouth, still too aware of your surroundings to lose your head like that.

Fortunately, he remembers where he is and cools it down before you, pulling back with a low groan at the barely visible string of saliva that keeps you connected for a few seconds more.

“Thank you, baby.” He breathes out, relaxed, his previous frustration nowhere in sight. “My little guarding angel that always knows what to do to make me feel better.”

And as fate has it, Hyunjin only continued to change after that, day by day, and slowly but surely, you stopped being his top priority. Now, all of the previously mentioned hobbies and passions became more important, and more time consuming, while you, his family, and sometimes even his friends, were benched for seasons at a time.

Hyunjin never noticed it, nor did he recognize it as an actual problem when you brought it up, brushing past your concerns like they were nothing at all. He became snappy, more stressed, walking towards the edge of the abyss that represented burnout at an alarming pace he did nothing to slow down, almost like his brakes were removed.

Free falling to an impending doom.

That’s how you lost him. That’s how you lost the love of your life, unable to save him or any remains of the person he once was five years ago.

Present day.

Your head is spinning, still not fully processing the information you’ve just learned, frozen on the spot and forced to watch a scene that only brought you discomfort.

“Hyunjin…has been replaced?”

The words escape slowly, almost like you were first tasting them on your tongue before choosing to let them free. When you manage to tear your gaze from the field, blocking out the happiness on their faces, laughing away without a care in the world like they weren’t missing their core, the most fundamental part of the team, your friends are unable to meet your eyes. The only one who tries is Jeongin, with a frown that contorts his whole face, as if your sadness was contagious and he caught it without meaning to just because he was there.

But this one was his. Because Jeongin cared a great deal, the little brother Hyunjin never got but has always wanted. They used to be close like no other, and you can’t even begin to imagine what he’s feeling right now.

“Allegedly.” Jisung shrugs like he couldn’t care less, the perfect picture of nonchalance with his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

“Temporarily!” Seohyun quickly clarifies, shooting him a cold glare he doesn’t even acknowledge. “Just until he can play again, that’s all.”

Now, you’re even more confused, gaze dropping to Chris who exhales loudly, taking his seat with great difficulty. “Why isn’t he able to play?” He hesitates, and that causes your heart rate to speed up, worry plaguing your mind and painting your surroundings in charcoal black, the colors fading gradually along with the light in your eyes.

“Hyunjin…” Chris trails off, clearing his throat and avoiding your pleading eyes. “He got injured three months ago, at the last game of the season. The team couldn’t remain in the lead without him so they lost.”

Noticing the shock on your face, he grasps your hand, squeezing while the other three come to cover you from prying eyes. His voice drops to ensure nobody else hears your conversation. “It might’ve cost the team their victory but Hyunjin had to pay the price with his health. Changbin told me he still has trouble walking sometimes, so the coach and his dance professor agreed to give him more time to recover.”

“Hyunjin is injured…” You feel like a parrot, only managing to repeat whatever words have the biggest impact on your impressionable mind, stuck in place like a broken record.

“Bug – “

“You all knew and didn’t think to tell me?”

They don’t expect you to snap out of it so soon, and redirect your emotions at them, eyes narrowing. Seohyun looks sheepish, even a little guilty while Jisung doesn’t allow you to see his face, suddenly fascinated by the greatness of the stadium.

“I – “ Jeongin clears his throat, pushing his big glasses up his nose. “Tried to contact him after I heard what happened. He didn’t answer, not even once, not even as time passed and he was already MIA for months.”

His face falls, obviously mourning the loss of their friendship. “I’m guessing they got a similar answer. Felix took pity on me at one point and filled me in on his situation. Hyunjin travelled home to Daegu right after, so nobody saw him for months. He became a ghost I doubted myself of ever meeting…”

Chris nods, more in the loop than you were. “He didn’t answer any of our calls, but I did send him a flower basket and a card on our behalf.”

“A fucking flower basket, Chris?” You can’t hold it in, exploding like a firework that missed its cue and blew up in someone’s face, devoid of any pretty colors as tears well up in your eyes. “You can’t be serious. Tell me you’re joking.”

Everyone knew and chose to keep you in the dark, to protect you without realizing their actions were causing more harm than good.

If only you would have attended the game and not run off, if only they would have bothered to tell you – you could have been there for him, his shoulder to lean on during his recovery. That’s why Hyunjin was different, so much colder and detached; he was in pain. Sure, this change started way before the accident in June, when the game took place, but now his recent behavior made sense.

You couldn’t even imagine what he must be feeling right now, forced to sit on the sidelines, not allowed to express himself through dance or run freely on the field to blow off some steam. A tortured man, trapped inside his own body without any means of escaping. Everything he worked so hard on, poured so much of himself into suddenly ripped away from him, life put on hold because of a stupid accident. Of an injury he didn’t deserve.

The irony of it all almost had you in tears. Somehow, in some way, people who used their bodies for art, or to provide entertainment for others, always ended up in pain, unable to continue doing so.

Dancing was his past, present and future. Hyunjin must be devastated, rattling against the bars that kept him in place to be let out, screaming and crying in agony with nobody able to hear him.

One blow after the other, the coach’s decision must have driven him back home, to isolate himself from the world until he felt, even the tiniest bit, like himself again.

Scoffing, you don’t wait for any of them to answer, storming down the stairs in search of the man who possessed all the answers you were looking for, not staring back once as Chris called after you, concerned.

You slip through the crowd, quickly avoiding all of the students who were just now arriving, leaving the bleachers area and sneaking into the field, on the other side of the fence.

The coach has his back to you, an older man in his forties who was the equivalent of a teddy bear, leaving everyone confused as to what drove him into coaching such a sport. In your opinion, he should have been a kindergarten teacher, with the way he coddles these grown men on the field. Of course, except in the cases where they mess up or get into fights.

“Oh, it’s you.” The coach tenses up once he notices your presence, surprised, almost like the one in front of him wasn’t you but a big, intimidating guy ready for a fight.

You slide next to him, taking a seat on the bench he’s standing by. “Hello.”

“Hyunjin isn’t here.”

“Yes, I have eyes.”

He looks nervous, arms crossed over his chest as he sneaks glances at you from the corner of his eye, perplexed at your sudden appearance. “Listen, if you came over to try and convince me to change my mind – “

“I didn’t.”

His shoulders slump forward, deflating as he sighs, looking straight up defeated, like the team’s fate has been sealed before they even got the chance to play. Fidgeting on the spot, you wait patiently for him to speak again, knowing it’s a matter of time before he caves in and spills his heart out. The coach has always been a sensitive man, a heart over mind type of guy, caring beyond belief which made him the butt of the joke one too many times.

“I didn’t want to bench him, it was never my intention, believe me. But I had no choice.”

You remain composed, crossing one leg over the other as you watch the team warm up some feet away. “Because of his injuries?”

“Yes.” He breathes out, relieved you seem to understand. “He’s all skin and bones now, barely managing to use his dominant hand. Tell me, what was I supposed to do? Put the team above his health? Ruin his chances at a full recovery because of my selfish reasons?”

Now that was definitely an exaggeration. You’ve seen him recently, granted in his uniform, but Hyunjin looked fine, just about the same. The same but different, taking into account the changes he brought to his appearance.

But you did remember seeing him catch the football with his left hand while his right was behind his back, almost like he was hiding it from the world. This was concerning, causing anxiety to eat at your core unpleasantly. If Hyunjin also injured his dominant hand, that meant he couldn’t paint. Which ultimately meant he was currently going stir-crazy, feeling truly hopeless.

Why was the universe so cruel to him?

“And so? Who became captain in his stead? Yeonjun?” You play dumb, keeping your emotions in check just to get all the necessary information out of him. A little dishonest, but your moral compass wasn’t really working right now.

To your surprise, the man scoffs, turning to face you. “Yeonjun? He called me a joke and laughed in my face.”

Bewiled, you lean closer, trying to understand Yeonjun’s behavior. He was one of the best guys on the team, why would he react like that? “What?”

He nods, letting his bulky arms fall to his sides. “All of my best players refused to fill in for him, turning me down in hopes of changing my mind and allowing Hyunjin to return sooner.”

Now this was heartwarming, pulling an unvoluntary smile out of you, happiness blooming in your chest at their obvious care for their long time captain. They were all standing in solidarity with him, unafraid to share their opinions and give the coach a piece of their mind. Hyunjin was so loved – if only he was here to see it with his own eyes, you were sure he’d feel a hundred times better.

“Then maybe you should.”

“I thought you said you weren’t here to get me to change my mind?” He raises a suspicious brow.

You grin, standing up and inching closer. “I lied.”

With a sigh, the coach shakes his head, not as impressed as you thought he’d be. “Sorry, can’t do. I already spoke with his dance prof and Hyunjin will be taking it easy for the next two months.”

You open your mouth ready to protest, his decision a little too extreme until something makes you stop, a light bulb going off in your head. Two months meant until November at most. The season started in late October which meant, in his words, Hyunjin would be back just in time to lead the team to victory. He wasn’t trying to sabotage him or his mental health, the coach was genuinely looking out for him, trying to help and ensure he was completely healed before the championship.

He was giving him as much time as he could to pull himself together, to regain his strength and the sparkle in his eyes. Hopefully, Hyunjin could see that, see the light that was peeking through the dark clouds that were currently only bringing rain into his life.

Seems like, no matter how hard you try, you’ll always care for him.

“Besides,” he continues, voice softer as he notices the contemplative look on your face, “Jaemin is a good player. Hyunjin picked him himself during last year’s tryouts.”

Well, Hyunjin definitely didn’t expect Jaemin to take his place when he made that choice.

“He’s the only one who didn’t reject me. If it weren’t for him, our team wouldn’t have a captain right now, and you know how important that is for morale.”

Now this spoke volumes about Jaemin’s character. Sure, this was the right thing to do, a noble act that was meant to redirect the team on the right track, lead them in time of need. Yet, on the other hand, your personal feelings on the matter viewed him as an opportunist, one that couldn’t care less about Hyunjin or the individuals on the team.

It looked like his loyalties only lay with himself. Something that wasn’t viewed favorably in a team sport.

“So please, don’t resent me too much.”

Your head snaps to him, to see the man crestfallen, a sign his decision must weigh heavy on his heart.

Sighing, all the fight leaves your body as you prepare to leave, taking one last look at the field that now looks so much different. “I don’t think I’m the person you should be telling that to.”

Defeated, he nods and walks away towards the locker rooms, to reflect or maybe encourage the remaining guys before the game starts. You barely make it two steps when a deep, loud voice startles you out of your thoughts.

“Y/n! Wait up!”

Turning, you’re surprised to see the one currently running towards you, distraught and desperate is none other than Daehyun from Yonsei University. Your rivals in more fields than one, the deans have been beefing behind the scenes and plotting on how to take the other down every single day without fail for years now.

Despite your reservations, you allow him to catch up, curious about what he’s going to say. You weren’t friends, but you did bump into each other on one too many team dinners in the past, loving to celebrate his wins at the same restaurant Hyunjin’s team frequented a little too much. Petty and immature till the end, no wonder his most famous nickname was Petty Wap.

He comes to a stop in front of you, briefly leaning on his knees to catch his breath before blurting out, without giving you the chance to say anything. “Where the fuck is Hwang? Did he finally realize he sucked and quit for good?”

Your eyes widen at the blatant disrespect, blood boiling in your veins as you try to pull yourself together and not cuss him out into retirement. With the nastiest glare you can muster, you cross your arms over your chest. “Hello to you too, Daehyun. Don’t you have a game to play?”

“What game?” He throws his arms up before running a hand over his face, too agitated for your liking. “I’m not playing against anyone other than Hwang! So where is he? Do I need to come drag his ass back on the field or what?”

The rivalry that sparked between them after a random game a few years ago was often a form of entertainment for all the people in attendance, who were looking forward to the games they’d play against each other in anticipation of the winner. SNU’s team was arguably better than Yonsei’s, all of the stats pointing in that direction but sometimes, even they failed as the two teams would be neck and neck until the goal that sealed their fates.

It was mostly a one-sided rivalry, with Hyunjin loving to get under Daehyun’s skin by barely acknowledging his existence on and outside the field. Which only sprouted him, set on earning Hyunjin’s attention like he was some sort of buff high school girl, spending her days longing for her crush’s love.

You don’t get to respond when an arm is thrown over your shoulder, the friendly gesture signalling only one person’s presence.

“Get off the field then. Nobody is looking forward to your lacklustre performance anyway.”

You look up at Yeonjun, surprised at the hostility in his voice. Daehyun splutters, taken aback. “What – “

“Oh, sorry.” However, the apology is not sincere in the slightest, his arm pulling you closer. “Should I speak slower so you can catch up? Since you’ll never catch up to me on the field, I might as well give you an advantage. “

“Jun – “ You try to diffuse the situation once you notice the anger on Daehyun’s face, his form towering over you both.

“Motherfucker.” He bites, almost growling and you still can’t wrap your head around Yeonjun’s objective. Did he hear your conversation? Why the hell was he so mean?

You’re pushed behind him when Daehyun steps forward, chest to chest with Yeonjun like they were preparing for a face off, drawing the nearby players’ attention. Flabbergasted, you get a hold of his jersey and pull, urging him to back off until either of the coaches notices the commotion and calls the whole game off, benching them for the whole school year.

Before you know it, a hand comes in between them, and a familiar voice asks, concerned. “What is going on here?”

“Who the fuck are you?” Daehyun spits at Jaemin, eyes flying to Yeonjun who nods and makes a face you can’t see. Squinting down at him, more guys gather around, assessing the situation before deciding if they should butt in or not.

“You’re the pipsqueak that’s currently replacing Hwang?!” It dawns on him a moment later, and now his anger is quickly redirected. It almost looks like they’re both ganging up on Jaemin, suddenly joining forces once they realise they share the same enemy.

“Excuse me?” Jaemin raises a brow, looking between Daehyun and Yeonjun in confusion.

Then, almost like he couldn’t be bothered to speak to him again, Daehyun lowers his head to whisper to both you and Yeonjun, deeming you an accomplice. “Meet me by the lockers after the game. We can take him out together.”

Yeonjun smirks as you stare at them in horror, not believing your ears. “That’s the best idea you’ve ever had in your life, Park. Let’s do it.”

They high five, snickering and you take this as your cue to back away, not wanting to get roped into whatever deranged plan they were currently cooking up. Sure, your perception of him might have been altered, but that didn’t mean you wanted to see Jaemin getting beat up! What the hell was with men and starting unnecessary fights, just to satisfy their fragile egos?

You should let the coach know about this, just in case they actually decide to go through with their plan.

However, the tone of his voice surprises you before you can make your grand escape.

“Choi.” Jaemin speaks lowly, eyes narrowed as he stares at him with a superiority that is bound to make the other man’s blood boil. “Shouldn’t you be warming up for the game instead of kissing the competition’s ass? Or have I interrupted something I shouldn’t have?”

The implication isn’t lost on either of them and while Yeonjun fumes, Daehyun can’t help but chuckle, mumbling something under his breath that sounds almost like ‘my bitch’.

“Scram.” Jaemin points towards the benches like he’s training a stray dog who can’t do anything but obey, especially since the coach chooses this moment to exit the locker room. They stare each other down for a moment more before Yeonjun scoffs and walks away, bumping into his shoulder with unnecessary force while calling out mockingly.

“Aye, aye, captain.” Saluting, the bitterness seems to sting Jaemin, who exhales loudly, relieved when Daehyun follows without saying another word.

Then, his eyes land on you, and you do everything in your power to not react as nasty as the other two did.

“Y/n?”

“Y/n!”

You ignore him, whipping around in the opposite direction to find Chris by the fence, waving you over, a little concerned and ready to jump over any obstacle to get to you. Behind him, you spot Seohyun, Jisung and Jeongin looking just as worried.

So, without another glance in Jaemin’s direction, you walk away, your indifference leaving him confused, and a little hurt, wondering what he could have done to upset you.

Oblivion was his middle name. Or so, you thought.

You don’t stay for the game, previous plan all forgotten, your little friend group bouncing to a nearby café for a hot drink and a much needed chat.

Chris explains everything, from beginning to end, with the other three chiming in whenever necessary to complete his story. As you’ve already established, Hyunjin got injured at the last game of the season, with some guy tackling him to the ground with a little more force than usual. He was expecting him to stand his ground, meet him head on and when Hyunjin didn’t, they both ended up hurt.

Hyunjin came out of it with a broken leg and a sprained hand, his helmet preventing any face injuries. It was apparently a big deal, taking two players out in an instant, and the game was almost called off until the coaches agreed to continue despite what happened. With him out, and all the other guys shaken up about what just transpired, SNU lost, not able to remain in the lead without its captain.

You’re listening so intently, transported into the story your choices prevented you from witnessing, that your heart breaks into tiny pieces all over again. You almost stand up and drive yourself all the way to Daegu, just so you can finally provide him with the love and care he needs, to beg on your knees for forgiveness like him getting injured was somehow your fault.

It wasn’t. It wasn’t anybody’s fault but his own. He took on too much, juggling too many things all at once while choosing to ignore the sirens and signs screaming all around him to stop. Hyunjin’s body has reached its limit and his stubbornness was the only one to blame.

And now, after making what he thought was a full recovery, he was forced to remain on the sidelines, so his mind could rest too. Chris continued to keep tabs on him, concerned as his friend, and Changbin had let him know that Hyunjin had just up and left their apartment, returning home to Daegu like he didn’t spend his whole summer there.

But not only was he in Daegu, with his dog and parents who were supposed to bring him the needed comfort, he was apparently partying it up every chance he got, urged on by his childhood friends and the people around him. Hyunjin was on a quest of destruction, with nobody there to stop or slap him back to his senses. Nobody aware of what was happening, anyway.

How the hell were you supposed to help him from over here?

Better yet, were you the one supposed to help him in the first place?

Even if you were to make the trip, which would never happen since none of your friends would allow you to leave like that, just as the school year began, who’s to say he wanted you there?

It was so typical of you to drop everything for him, put him above your needs and everyone else in your life that now, since his role in the story changed, you didn’t know how to cope.

On most occasions, it felt like he was the sun, and you were one of the many planets rotating around him, pulled in by gravity and whatever magnetic field he developed over the years.

And how was the Earth supposed to not die out without the Sun?

You were running for your life, book bag above your head doing a poor job at protecting you from the pouring rain that was coming down violently, almost like the sky was venting its anger onto everyone in the city. Everyone unfortunate enough to not have checked the weather forecast that morning, anyway.

A few weeks have passed by in the blink of an eye and now October rolled around, bringing along its best friends, rain and thunder. Some friends you didn’t particularly enjoy sneaking up on you.

You got caught up in tutoring the first years, so while most of the students had already gone home, you remained until the sun had set, being the last one to leave. It wasn’t like you to lose track of the time, but for once, you didn’t mind since you were enjoying yourself after so long.

They were full of energy and new ideas, coming up with things your department has never done before. And hence their excitement, you promised you would try to bring their project to life, take it upon yourself to talk to your professors and maybe employ the help of some upperclassmen.

You used to love getting involved in stuff like that, share the joy of music with everyone in different, innovative ways, get people moving to the beats you created. But with time, you seemed to have forgotten, your identity getting a little lost along the way.

Just as you’re about to start mulling over it, already chewing down on your bottom lip, Converse wet since you stepped into one too many puddles, a car pulls up right next to you, careful with the breaks to not splash anyone.

Without wasting a second, you run to the other side to get in, thankful for your saving grace.

The first thing Chris does when he sees you is laugh, reaching over the console in an attempt to fix your wet hair before deciding against it and opening the glove compartment for some tissues.

“Sweetheart, you look like a wet dog.” He states the obvious, eyes sparkling in amusement. “Did you wait long? Sorry, I was at the studio when you called.”

You shake your head, accepting the tissues to wipe your face as he starts driving. “No, don’t worry. Thank you for coming on such short notice.”

“I’ll always come when you call.” He says it like it’s the most natural thing in the world, and you know it’s true since he’s come to your rescue numerous times over the years.

You settle your bag on the floor, by your feet and that’s when you notice your seat getting warmer, the heat turned up just for you.

“Sorry for the mess. I know how much you despise water on your leather seats.”

Chris shakes his head, doing a great job at pretending he’s not bothered at all as he focuses on the road. “Nonsense.” Then, he nods to one of the drinks in the cupholder. “I got you a hot chocolate to warm up. The red one.”

You let out a short laugh, shivering as your clothes were still sticking to your skin. “Why is it red?”

“Because it’s from your favorite coffee shop, duh.” He rolls his eyes in fake annoyance, driving leisurely with only one hand on the wheel.

“God, have I told you how much I love you, lately?”

“You might have mentioned it once or twice, but it never hurts to hear more about it.”

Having him in your life was a blessing you still weren’t sure you deserved; the first person who’s ever shown you the real meaning of friendship, sticking by your side no matter how many years passed, or how much you changed on your road to discovery. He’s seen your highs and was right there for your lows, helping you get through them with a kind smile and encouraging words, never letting you give up no matter how hard it got.

“How was tutoring?” The rain is still slamming against the body of the car, even angrier now and you were so grateful you were finally out of it, spared of its wrath.

You look in the back for one of his gym towels, the napkins not cutting it anymore, quickly grabbing it to dry your hair when he nods. “Exhausting. These kids are way too happy.”

Chris laughs, tattooed arms flexing without difficulty in the flimsy tank top he was wearing, the black charm bracelet you’ve bought him for his 18th birthday shining prettily when the light from the lampposts outside hit it just right. You were getting colder just by looking at him. “We used to be just like them a few years ago.”

“I don’t miss it.” You shrug, bending your head to continue with your previous task.

“Liar.”

He knew you too well.

“Anyway, Binnie tells me you’re avoiding him.”

A gasp escapes you, sitting up a little too quickly. “I’m not!”

“Yeah?” He raises a brow, briefly making eye contact before looking back at the road. You were almost there, your apartment building not that far away from campus. “Then why haven’t you replied to any of his texts?”

“I – “ You trail off, embarrassed to say it out loud.

“What?”

Mumbling under your breath, you speak a little louder, but still not loud enough for him to understand you properly. Chris turns down the music just as one of his songs comes on, his playlist as random as ever.

“Y/n, sweetheart, dear best friend, I can’t hear a word you’re saying.”

With a deep sigh, you give in, right after throwing the towel over your shoulder, in the backseat. “Chris, I can’t write to save my life. I haven’t been able to write any lyrics in months now, my mind completely blank. That’s why I’m not texting Changbin back because I have nothing to say.”

Just then, the car comes to a stop and Chris rests one of his hands on your headrest, looking back to focus on parking.

You continue blabbering. “He’s coming up with all of these great ideas and all I’m capable of doing is agree and marvel at his genius.”

He chuckles but otherwise remains silent until the car stops moving, parking executed perfectly. Then, he raises the handbrake and bursts out laughing. “Genius, huh?”

You frown, blowing a wet strand of hair out of your face. “Don’t be mean.”

Shaking his head, Chris continues laughing. “You know what he does when he can’t write?”

“Hm?”

“Takes a break to get laid.”

You’re surprised, eyes widening gradually as he keeps laughing, reaching up to wipe stray tears out of his eyes like he’s delivered the funniest joke of the night.

A little embarrassed, you struggle to get a word in between his laughter. “Wow, gee thanks, Christopher! What helpful advice!”

You don’t know what’s worse. The fact that he believes you haven’t tried it before, or that he assumes your sex life isn’t completely nonexistent at the moment. Wait…what if he’s suggesting you sleep with Changbin? No, no, no! No way! Chris would never!

“What? You’re telling me you haven’t tried it before?” He wiggles his eyebrows, gently elbowing your side.

“To get inspiration?” He nods and you respond a little too quickly, feeling your face warm up. “No!”

Settling down, his smile is still as bright as ever, his happiness contagious as even you can’t stop yourself from giggling, despite the lingering embarrassment. Since befriending Seohyun, you’ve exclusively discussed things of this nature with her, sparing your childhood best friend the awkwardness the topic of your sex life would bring.

You were dating his friend, after all, you couldn’t begin to imagine how weird it would have been for him.

“You should. The post nut clarity hits hard, but not as hard as it hits Jisung.”

The face you make has him laughing again, and you almost gag at the idea of thinking of your other best friend in such a state. “Okay, gross! Stop putting these images in my head before I barf all over your expensive leather seats!”

Chris throws his head back, having the time of his life, until it hits you, reaching over to slap his biceps repeatedly.

“Wait, is that why he keeps going back to Yoona?”

“Bingo.”

“Oh my god!” You shriek, hand flying over your mouth in disbelief. “He’s so self-destructive!”

Nodding, Chris stretches in his seat. “I know and I keep telling him but it’s like he goes selectively blind, ignoring all of the red flags like they’re not even there.”

You couldn’t have said it better. Since before their break up, when the relationship was still fresh in the honeymoon phase, nobody could bring themselves to like Yoona. It wasn’t like she was a horrible person, this evil green witch straight out of a fairytale; she just brought out the worst in Jisung, stressing him out, upsetting him and making him cry more times than you could count. Their relationship turned toxic so fast that before you knew it, they broke up and got back together twice in the same month.

He claims he wrote all of his best songs while dating her but you beg to differ.

“Anyways, my point is.” Chan’s voice snaps you out of reminiscing, making you aware of the pouring rain that still shows no sign of stopping. “We all have an activity that never fails to inspire us. Or a person, a song, a movie or even a book. Try to remember yours and it will get easier.”

You nod, taking it all in. “Yeah, and apparently yours is sex. Have you ever thought about a threesome? Just imagine all of the ideas you’d get if the three of you had sex at the same time!”

The deadpan look on his face makes you lose it, his next words as serious as they come among your loud laughter. “Don’t even joke about this shit, Y/n, oh my God! My poor mind! I’m going to be sick.”

You’re having the time of your life at his expense, enjoying the way he shudders and gags as he starts imagining against his will. That’s what he gets for laughing at you.

“Fine, but only if we go in before I freeze to death.”

Chris rolls his eyes but complies, opening the door before your hand on his elbow stops him. “Didn’t you bring an umbrella? Or a sweater?”

“For what? Our building is right over there.”

“Chris, it��s pouring.”

He grins, showing off his pearly whites. “The last one there is a wet chicken.” And then he bolts, slamming the car door shut while his giggles resonate throughout the whole parking lot.

You blink, still staring at where he used to be a second ago before you’re taking off, not forgetting your bag in the process as you begin running after him, in the direction of your building.

The rain soaks through your clothes, cold and angry, but Chan doesn’t seem to care, deliberately stepping into every puddle with the biggest smile on his face. It reminds you of when you were kids, and you’d go out into his backyard to dance in the rain and look for snails, impatiently waiting for the rainbow that was sure to follow.

He looked so carefree and happy that it was rubbing off on you, allowing him to get a hold of your hands just so you could spin around, laughing together. The neighbours probably thought you were crazy, stupid kids without an ounce of maturity – but you were too happy to care, finally feeling like yourself in God knows how long.

Eventually, the cold found a new home in your bones, so you entered the building, creating small puddles everywhere you stepped, and laughing at each other’s appearance.

And there, by the elevator, was none other than Jisung, leaning against a nearby wall with his eyes glued to his phone. He was wearing all black, leather jacket with silver trinkets going along nicely with all of his jewelry and slicked back hair. The two of you were a mess compared to him.

“Ji!” You call out, startling him as he almost drops the device. “Hi!”

His eyes widen as he takes in the state of you, pushing himself off the wall in slight concern. “Yo, you’re both soaked. Did you decide to bathe in a puddle or what the hell happened?”

You and Chris share a mischievous look before nodding and lunging at him, arms wide open as he shrieks and tries to sidestep you.

“No! This is a new jacket! Spare me!”

“But, Ji! We missed you so much, let us hug you!”

He’s cornered, eyes darting every which way before the both of you are on him, squeezing him into the tightest hug, fueled by the power of friendship!

Safe to say by the end of it, Jisung had to join you upstairs to change before going on his merry way, grumbling about running late to whatever plans he’s made tonight.

A mere hour later, Chris has also left – something about an urgent appointment which in his language was code for one of his usual booty calls.

So now, you were all alone in your apartment, which felt a little strange. Always surrounded by your friends has made you a little dependent, needing them at all times to feel whole. But now, they were all out, having fun at a party or a random outing, because as much as it hurt you to admit, time didn’t stop for anyone. They weren’t frozen in place, unable to step out of quicksand and continue with their lives like you were, no matter how supportive or kind they’ve been.

Your life was on hold, against your will, but theirs wasn’t. As much as you deluded yourself into believing it, life went on, and your friends were all their own people, with their struggles and insecurities, and they weren’t obliged to stand still and wait until you got your shit together.

Not like you minded, that much. You reckon having them all to yourself, at your beck and call like you were nothing more but a fragile being that needed help at all times, would feel worse.

So, you were glad to see that their lives regained their normality, the one they struggled so much to build and keep.

And you were sure that after a while, you would manage to follow in their footsteps as well. Just not now. Now felt too soon for any of that, your fluffy blanket too comfortable to leave behind yet.

In an effort to do so, to begin training to ensure you’ll be able to keep up, you do the unexpected. Listening to Chris’ advice from earlier, you take one of your four guitars out of hiding, all dusty from the months spent in the disorganized closet. You knock over some boxes in the process, stumbling backwards like you weren’t welcomed into the little space, banished entirely from relieving any beautiful memory that was stored there.

From boxes to clothes, both yours and numerous articles that belonged to other people in your life, to your prized guitars and old diaries, your closet housed everything. There were photo albums, small gifts you wanted to keep safe, matching jewellery that was missing their other halves, movie, art gallery and concert tickets – you kept everything. A little bit of a hoarder, in Jisung’s words, your sentimental side couldn’t rid itself of anything.

Yet, one box decided to bare its contents to you, taking pity on your pathetic self. Crouching down to examine it closer, familiar handwriting greeted you with a punch in the gut, note yellowed with time.

The first song you ever wrote. And the cute, crooked doddles he decided to leave everywhere, like little comments and annotations he couldn’t keep to himself, highlighting every word or passage he liked. Hearts, smiley faces and angel wings, this is how Hyunjin described your stupid song that barely made any sense, the one he’d claim was his favorite, even after years and years passed and your skills improved.

You never got it, never understood why he was so attached to a love song written by a teenage girl who had no idea what love even meant at the time, a foreign concept she only discovered much later.

Perhaps he was even more sentimental than you, letting nostalgia rule his whole world without bothering to have a say in it. A go with the flow kind of guy, Hyunjin’s next move was always a mystery to everyone around him. That’s exactly why you were left dumbfounded when you tried gifting him this same song, but better, finished and properly recorded, a few years ago, and he firmly refused. He claimed the original was better, more authentic and you, and that nothing could ever come close to it in his heart.

To say you were disappointed was an understatement; you were disheartened for weeks, especially since that was the first time Hyunjin openly disliked one of your songs. Always your biggest fan, your muse would hype up everything you came up with and deemed worthy enough to put on paper, record and show him. After all, most of your songs were about him and your relationship, of course, he’d be left flustered and giddy, honoured by your unconditional love and support.

It's not like you couldn’t handle criticism, your whole major consisted of it, but when it came from him, it hit extra hard. Not like he criticized your work to begin with, he just felt comfortable enough to speak his mind – but for some reason, you still took it as such.

So, for a few months, you stopped writing and composing, being left in limbo just like you were now, not daring to pick up another pen. Back then, you managed to get out of that state with his help, his love the anchor that pulled you back up to the surface.

But now, you didn’t have such a luxury. How were you going to navigate these new waves by yourself?

Closing the box, you don’t spare it another glance as your foot pushes it back into the closet. You grab your guitar and move to the living room, making yourself comfortable on the couch with slight hesitation.

Your fingers hovered over the chords, mind racing with all of these different thoughts you couldn’t seem to put in order, quiet down enough to entrap on paper. You didn’t have a muse now, so what exactly were you supposed to write about? It felt like every significant moment of your life had a song, immortalized into a piece of art to remember for years to come.

All but one, the most recent event.

You begin tickling the chords, sheepish and clumsy, out of your element as the random anime sticker Jisung stuck on the guitar stares at you expectantly. The pink haired girl was smiling, but you still felt like she was judging you and your lack of talent.

“What the fuck am I saying?”

Shaking your head, your eyes close as a familiar melody fills the air, echoing through the empty apartment. Your favorite song has never failed you before, sure to warm up your brain and unlock the creative part of it, breaking the chains which held it captive.

The corners of your mouth tilt upwards in a small, but genuine smile, pleased at what you are hearing and experiencing, happiness blossoming like flowers in your empty chest. Just as you open your mouth to start singing, you can’t seem to find your voice, breath hitching in your throat.

You try again, and again, and by the third time, you’re luckily interrupted by loud buzzing, your fingers stopping abruptly. Where did you leave your phone?

Back in your room, you find it thrown on the bed, face down.

“Hello?” You answer, barely checking the caller ID, a little annoyed at being interrupted.

“Babe!” Seohyun’s loud voice greets you enthusiastically, followed by muffled giggling and booming music in the background. Now see, compared to Jisung, Seohyun would actually pick up the phone if you called even if she was having the time of her life at a party. “I miss you! What are you doing?”

You sigh, smiling despite yourself. “I’m at home, Seo. Did something happen?”

She was currently at a random sorority party thrown by her department, having fun with friends and classmates alike. Of course, she had asked you to come along but you really didn’t feel like it, choosing the comfort of your own home in favor of the loud, over the top party.

“So, nothing important, okay.” She giggles, and you can already tell how many drinks she’s had by now. “Will you come here? I promise it’s so fun, and you’ll love it!”

Your head turns to the window by the bed, the rain calming down but not stopping entirely. “But it’s raining.”

You hear her groan, presumably rolling her eyes before giggling again. “Oh, excuse me, your highness, I didn’t know a little rain would cause you to melt and turn into a puddle yourself.”

This time you snort, amused at her teasing. “Not at all, but I might grow a tail instead of legs and freak everyone out.”

You share a laugh, easily falling into your usual dynamic.

“Please?” She tries again, the music suddenly quieter. “I want you to meet someone and I know you’re in desperate need of a drink. Or two. Or a round of shots if I think about it.”

She was certainly right but you weren’t about to admit that and have her come back home just to drag your ass there personally.

“Seohyun – “

“No, I don’t want to hear it if you’re going to reject me!” Her voice gets higher, likely a little upset.

You take a seat on the edge of the bed, letting yourself fall backwards on the fluffy covers. “Then I’ll just hang up the phone.”

“Boo, you whore!” You laugh at the reference, not taking any offence as she keeps talking. “Fine, I’ll come and get you – “

She doesn’t get to finish her sentence as a loud shriek escapes her, followed by crashing in the background that has you sitting up instantly, worried.

“Seo, are you okay?”

No answer, at least not from her anyway, the chatter on the other side escalating into yelling that prevents you from catching any glimpse of your best friend. You hang up with the biggest sigh, throwing your phone to the side while letting your head fall onto cold hands, needing ten seconds to pull yourself together and come to terms with what you’re about to do.

When you stand up, grab your phone and keys, your mind is cursing at you for being such a good friend.

When you exit the uber, after a fifteen minute drive, you’re greeted by a sight that could only rightfully belong in a zoo. The beautiful and grand sorority, with its tall, white columns and perfectly mowed lawn, was a mess. With cheap, plastic lounge chairs thrown about hazardable, toiled paper on the roof and a few passed out students right next to random, white ballons and red plastic cups, the sight was one straight out of a bad, coming of age college movie.

It was obvious this was not the usual sorority party because the girls would never allow their place to get this rowdy. This was their sanctuary, so the fact that they allowed guys in here was already surprising enough. Now you were sure they would all be banned from stepping on their property by tomorrow morning, first thing once the sun rose.

You step over every drunk man and vomit puddle, swiftly avoiding the couples busy eating each other’s faces off as you enter, already regretting your decision. But Seohyun stopped answering her phone, and you were too worried for your own good, needing to know what exactly cut your means of communication to be able to sleep tonight.

The castle like interior was filled to the brim with students, from every department you could think of, lounging about anywhere their eyes landed, either to rest or because they were too intoxicated to get up. It’s packed, but somehow breathable, so you manage to make your way inside with ease – until you pass the grand staircase in the hallway, marble and chandelier. The main living area resembles a rave, lights down low, booming music along with the strong smell of alcohol and weed that makes your eyes water.

Ever the party animal, this was Seohyun’s natural habitat, loving everything this type of setting entailed, so she shouldn’t be far. You, however, were quickly remembering why you stopped attending sorority and fraternity parties in the first place. They weren’t as exclusive or organized as the parties 3racha threw, so by definition, they were a complete mess – mixing drugs with huge amounts of alcohol often led to lots of fighting, hook ups and too many unsanitary liquids on the floor. 

They got so crazy that the university came up with a new rule, which forced every house to block off their pools and balconies to prevent any unfortunate accidents from happening. Most obliged, but some, that felt like they were above the dean, only pretended to listen to get the old man off their backs.

Passing through, you squint in an attempt at spotting any part of your best friend, bumping into people left and right. The colorful flashing lights were making it hard to see, or think, so you reached for your phone again, dialling her number in hopes of finally getting an answer.

You only manage to bring the device to your ear before a hand lands on your shoulder and suddenly, you’re spun around to face the one person you’ve been searching for. What luck, really.

“Babe! You made it!” Seohyun throws herself at you before you can utter a word, hugging you tightly with her arms over your shoulders, buzzing with excitement. Her sweet perfume provides a welcomed change from all the overwhelming smells in here, bringing you some much needed comfort.

“Seo.” You pull back, holding her by the shoulders with a frown. “I must’ve called you a hundred times by now. Why did you hang up like that?”

Visibly confused, your best friend blinks, the gold shimmer on her eyelids blinding every passerby. “What?”

“Your phone!” You try again, speaking louder to make sure she hears you over the loud music. “Where is it?”

“I’m not sure…”

The furrow between your eyebrows deepens, grabbing her hand into yours. “Seohyun.”

The smile she shoots you is so bright, so sincere and toothy that your concern seems silly now like you have been worrying for nothing. Squeezing your hand into both of hers, she doesn’t even seem to mind the people on the dancefloor constantly bumping into her, and you.

“Y/n! I’m so happy to see you!”

Defeated, you allow her to bring you into another hug, her delighted giggles like ointment for your tense muscles. One thing was for sure, Seohyun was drunk out of her mind, so you didn’t regret coming out to find her, even if her level of awareness was currently under the negative mark.

Dealing with a drunk Seohyun was a particularly challenging task, one not many could see to completion. Her energy was either on top of the world or down in the dumps, no middle ground. Clingy like no other or suddenly disliking you with all of her might, a river of tears running down her pretty face that somehow didn’t ruin her flawless makeup. Yet no matter her current state, Seohyun was still as endearing as one could be, unable to get mad when her childlike glee would sneak through all of your barriers and warm your cold heart.

“There you are.” A deep voice startles you out of your thoughts, clear as day in your ear despite the loud music all around you. “I should’ve known you’d manage to find her even in this crowd.”

Seohyun pulls away, eyes sparkling as they land on the new presence behind you, suddenly giddier than before. You don’t manage to turn around before a small, familiar leather clutch is handed to her over your shoulder, a strong yet sweet cologne invading all of your senses as the stranger gets closer.

“My bag!” She almost jumps with joy, smiling brightly as she hugs the expensive garment to her chest. You’re now trapped between her and a random guy you’re sure she just met, lovely.

Fishing her phone out of the bag, her attention is back on you. “Some guys got into a fight and bumped into me when I was talking to you, so all of my belongings ended up on the floor, trampled by everyone. Thankfully Felix took care of them.”

Your eyes widen, worry mixed with surprise creating a concoction of a cocktail in your head. “Felix?”

You whip around before she can say anything else, heart rate speeding up as anticipation rises. There was only one guy you knew with that name, and even though the odds were low, you needed to see for yourself, to check if somehow, by some weird coincidence, the guy Seohyun met was your old friend.

And so, as unexpected as ever, your jaw drops when you make eye contact, too close to be mistaken, his many freckles greeting you before he gets the chance to open his mouth.

“Hello, darling.” Felix smiles with his whole face, ready to burst with happiness at any moment. Your friend Felix, the one you met years ago in high school, who’s been studying abroad in Australia for the majority of your time here, was in front of you, smiling like he never left. Which was funny because his smile was the only familiar thing about him, while things like his appearance and clothes, even the way he carried himself, were completely different.

You barely recognized the person in front of you, so grown up with his bleached, shoulder length hair and black, leather clothes. The exterior was different, but changes on the interior were harder to spot, and to accomplish, and by the way he was staring at you one thing was for certain.

His heart definitely hasn’t changed.

“Felix?” You’re so taken aback that you can’t help but repeat yourself, his presence at this party is the last thing you expected. “But how? Why? When? Weren’t you just in Australia a few months ago – “

He laughs, high pitched as you remembered, throwing his head back in amusement. “God, I missed you, Y/n.”

You’re pulled into a hug before you can wrap your head around everything that’s happening, your questions left unanswered as he squeezes you tightly, lifting your feet off the ground. Felix was really here, at a random sorority party, treating you as warmly as ever.

For the longest time, you were certain that once he returned, Felix would treat you as coldly as Minho, barely acknowledging your existence and the bond you shared. Which was understandable, if you took into consideration the way your relationship with Hyunjin ended. But here he was, claiming he missed you.

He hasn’t been the greatest at keeping in touch, and you never blamed him – Felix was in his hometown, living life to the fullest, and experiencing university just like all of you were doing here. You couldn’t expect him to be as present as before, a significant part of your friend group when he had his own thing going on, almost an ocean apart.

His warmth was familiar as you hugged him back, reminiscent of the way he’d always hug you in greeting, every time you’d bump into each other, either by mistake or when all of you hung out together. It almost brought tears to your eyes, a wave of emotions surging through you.

When you’re put down, his smile hasn’t budged, staring at you with such fondness that you can’t hold yourself back from pulling his cheeks. “Look who finally remembered he also has friends here, in Korea!” You pull a little harder, and he grimaces, the only show of discomfort as he then laughs loudly. “Have you met up with Chris yet? He’s been missing you like crazy!”

One of his arms finds its way around your waist, the other reaching for Seohyun behind you as he pulls the three of you back, out of the way of all the people on the dance floor. By a wall, right next to a couch that was occupied by multiple couples who were oblivious to their surroundings, too busy making out to care, Felix finally answers.

“Not yet. I got back last month and I barely managed to find time to visit my grandparents.” The only family he still had here.

“Wait a minute.” As if snapping out of a trance, Seohyun butts in. “You know each other?!”

Both of your heads turn in her direction, stifling a laugh as she crosses her arms over her chest, little black dress riding up her thigh slightly. “What the fuck? I wanted to introduce you two!”

This time, Felix does laugh, properly amused. “You’re joking, right? When she and I met, back in high school, you weren’t even aware of her existence. I should be the one introducing Y/n to you.”

Baffled, she takes a step back and lightly collides with the wall, unsteady on her feet. “What?! Y/n’s my best friend!” Then, her gaze flies to you. “Right? Please back me up here.”

Giggling, you reach for her hand. “Of course, babe.”

Seohyun relaxes, and a smirk tilts the corners of her mouth as she sticks her tongue out at Felix. “See? Suck it, pretty boy.”

Shaking his head, chuckling, Felix leans over to tickle her sides, the sudden closeness surprising as they share a laugh. Maybe you should be the one getting an introduction after all because damn, where was all of this coming from?

“Yongbok!”

And just like that, your second surprise of the night strolls in like he owns the place, making his way over like there wasn’t a whole ongoing party keeping you apart.

Felix turns around at the same time your heart drops, smiling so brightly while you try everything in your power to not succumb to the inevitable panic attack that threatens to take you under.

“Hyunjinnie!”

What were the fucking odds?

Hyunjin shoves past a couple that’s in his way, tense features relaxing once he spots his best friend, managing to stand out from the crowd even in the dim, dark blue lighting in his red, mohair cardigan and blonde ponytail. A sight to behold, Hyunjin could never be overlooked, no matter what was currently taking place around him.

People stop and stare, eyes wide in wonder as some try to get his attention, to no avail. He doesn’t slow down nor greets anyone, for some reason in a hurry and heading straight to you. Well, not you specifically.

“Yongbok.” He breathes out once he reaches your little group, face stern. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Why the fuck did you run off like that?”

Frankly speaking, you couldn’t believe your eyes. Last you heard, Hyunjin was partying it up in Daegu. Did he suddenly change venues?

You couldn’t look at him, heart aching painfully in your chest, but at the same time, you didn’t seem to be able to look away from him either, his mere presence pulling you in just like it was doing to everyone else around. A magician without a wand, his irresistible charm was enough to enthral a whole room of people at a time.

Felix bounces on his heels, like an excited puppy seeing his owner after a long time, forgetting all about you. “Jinnie! I want you to meet someone!”

Seohyun disappears from your side, brought forth by Felix’s muscular arms, like some sort of trophy or a new, shiny toy a kid was excited about winning at a claw machine.

Hyunjin raises a brow, arms over his wide chest. “Seohyun.”

“Hwang.”

“What the fuck?” Now Felix is the confused one, but still not as speechless as you, looking between the two like they somehow grew a third head. “You know each other?!”

Talk about deja vu. Was it all a dream? Did you actually fall asleep before leaving the house and this whole scene was nothing but a fragment of your imagination? Somehow, that would make more sense than whatever was happening right now.

Hyunjin himself doesn’t seem to understand what’s going on either, but his cheeky side still manages to peek through. “We’re best friends.”

Seohyun scoffs, shaking Felix’s hands off her. “I can’t stand you.”

“See?” He grins, as fake as they come, in Felix’s direction. “I told you.”

“But…” Felix trails off, doe eyes softening as he looks at his best friend, almost like a lost child looking for guidance. “She’s the one I’ve been telling you about. The one I bumped into on the first day.”

Hyunjin blinks, gaze drifting to Seohyun. “So, you’re the one who stole his diary?”

“Stole?! I’m no thief, Hwang!”

Then, without being able to hold it in anymore, you explode. “What the fuck is going on here?!”

The three of them turn to face you at the same time, with Hyunjin’s eyes doubling in size like it’s the first time he’s made aware of your presence, the first time he sees you tonight. And you were sure it was, his attention solely on Felix from the moment he walked in. Which was to be expected, you haven’t been his priority in a long time. An afterthought he barely remembered on most occasions, as always.

Still, he takes the time to look you up and down, take in your pathetic excuse of an outfit you threw together in your hurry to leave the house, regretting your choice that was now making you feel self-conscious. Not like he was fairing any better, in his obnoxious leopard sweats you could never stand that he managed to pull off infuriatingly well, looking like he just rolled out of bed. Even so, he was still flawless, glowing like an angel without his halo.

You haven’t bumped into each other since last month but now, after your talk with the coach a few weeks ago, you saw him in a new light. Out of his gear, Hyunjin did look differently, softer around the edges, the weight loss visible on his lean body. Hyunjin was usually in tip-top shape, hitting the gym multiple times a week, properly taking care of himself and his health.

The injury must have left more marks than he would’ve liked, forcing him to watch his muscle mass decrease with every day spent in bed, making him weaker than he’s ever been.

“Y/n.” Seohyun grabs your hand, leaning into you for support as Felix begins talking Hyunjin’s ear off about what happened earlier. He’s still staring at you, and you can’t seem to be the first to give up and look away, not managing to decipher the emotion in his eyes. “I don’t feel so well.”

Your other arm wraps around her shoulders automatically, to keep her upwards as you continue looking at him, pulled in his direction. “Let’s go get some fresh air.”

Making your way outside proves more difficult than expected with Seohyun on your arm, leaning most of her weight on you. Leaving the guys behind, and Hyunjin’s intense gaze that you don’t notice following your every move, means you’re back into the sea of people, trying your best to navigate the tumultuous waters without crashing.

But you manage like you always do, and five minutes later you’re finally on the porch with a shivering Seohyun. The later hour has brought forth colder weather, characteristic of the autumn month.

“Are you cold?” You ask, just now noticing her outfit. In a strapless, sparkly black dress that barely covered her ass, your best friend shivers like a frightened chihuahua. When she nods, you don’t hesitate to remove your leather jacket and drape it over her shoulders, careful of her long hair.

“Thank you, Y/n.” She smiles, grateful, the cold helping her sober up. “And thank you for coming all the way here just because I asked. You’re an angel.”

You shake your head, thinking nothing of it as you hug yourself. The tight and thin crew neck you had underneath isn’t helping you combat the cold at all. “I was worried.”

“I’m sorry.” She whispers, staring down at her shuffling feet, heels suddenly uncomfortable.

“Do you want some water before we leave? I’m pretty sure there were bottles by the front door.”

“That’s champagne.” Seohyun laughs, properly wearing your jacket. “Believe me, I’ve had more than enough of that.”

As you open your mouth to respond, the words die on the tip of your tongue when the front door slams open and startles everyone nearby in the process. You barely register as a random, naked guy flies past, running around the front yard without a care in the world, making it out into the streets and flashing the whole neighbourhood.

He’s happy, laughing loudly as a small group approaches with their phones out, putting on a show for them all to record and make fun of later. With the elegance of a baby deer that’s just learned how to keep steady on his feet, the guy jumps and dances or attempts to, his ballet number not as graceful as he’d hoped.

Not like it matters anyway – even the couples that were busy making out are now cheering on him, clapping and giving him the confidence to continue with his drunken charade.

“It’s small.”

You turn sharply to face her, eyes wide like you couldn’t believe your ears.

“What?” She throws her head back in delight, finding the scandalized look on your face more entertaining than the guy who was currently making a fool out of himself. “It’s an unspoken rule! If your wiener isn’t cooked, you don’t take your pants off.”

You’re still silent, disgust slowly morphing into your features.

“Sorry. I forgot you don’t get my humor.” Seohyun sighs, disappointed.

“Yes, I do. This just wasn’t funny.”

“Or you’re just a prude.”

You gasp, taking a step back. “Wait, do you actually think so? Because Chris has implied the same thing earlier and now I’m starting to believe – “

“Were you planning on leaving without us?”

You’re cut off by the same deep voice from before, with Felix and Hyunjin seemingly appearing out of nowhere since the front door was still wide open. You don’t make eye contact, body turned slightly away from the two in an obvious display of discomfort. As much as you loved Felix, the fact that he brought your ex out here was really starting to bother you, heart aching a little too painfully to be bearable.

“Yeah, the uber is on its way.” You mumble, shuffling closer to Seohyun.

“Lying is a sin, Y/n.”

You roll your eyes just as Felix gasps, warm hand landing softly on your elbow. “Are you in a hurry? Did something happen?”

“Not at all!” Seohyun chimes in before you can respond, stepping between you and the two blondes. Come to think of it, they must’ve talked about it beforehand – their hairstyles looked a little too similar.

Turning to them with a sigh, Felix grins and squeezes your arm. “Great! Because Jinnie will be driving us!”

Hyunjin’s bleached eyebrows shoot up, surprised. “Does Jinnie know about this?”

Felix frowns, his hold on you loosening entirely. “Is Jinnie deaf?”

“Does Yongbokkie want to be left here?” Hyunjin counters, faux sweetness in his tone.

“I was the one who called you –“

“Do you guys need a moment?” You can’t help but giggle as Seohyun interrupts them, not missing the way Hyunjin’s eyes fly straight to you, softening. Meeting his gaze for a split second, you look away as loud cheering erupts from inside, attention stolen once again.

Shaking his head, Hyunjin then steps away with a sigh, presumably to his car.

Felix’s eyes follow him, his hands reaching for both yours and Seohyun’s as he begins dragging you along, contagious happiness in his voice. “Alright! Let’s go!”

A little farther down the street, the party and its loud music start fading in the distance, a faraway memory you won’t be looking forward to recalling any time soon. Hyunjin is a few feet in front, leading the way without a word. In contrast, Felix hasn’t stopped talking since you left.

Frankly speaking, letting your ex drive you home was the worst idea someone could ever come up with. Your protests fell on deaf ears, however, because both Felix and Seohyun were too giddy and enamoured with each other to bother hearing anything else. So, you were stuck between them, surrounded from all sides with no way of escaping other than running back in the direction you came from.

Lovely. You couldn’t think of a crueller fate, really.

A faint beeping sound signals you’ve reached your destination, but the car in front of you couldn’t be Hyunjin’s. This big, white SUV was brand new, nothing like the old, muscle car he got as a birthday gift a few years ago. Confused, you try to look around as subtly as possible, trying to understand what could’ve happened with the other car.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin opens the door to the back seat. “After you, Your Highness.”

Felix almost jumps in, stumbling over his own feet in the process and falling face first into the leather seat, to which both Seohyun and Hyunjin laugh a little too loudly at seeing. But he recovers quickly, and so do you, and as you move to join him, Seohyun steps right in your tracks.

“Babe.” She lowers her voice, waiting until Hyunjin takes his seat at the wheel before continuing. “Would you please, please, seat in front – “

You immediately shake your head, refusing on the spot. “No.”

Was she crazy? Batshit insane? You could not sit there, right next to Hyunjin and pretend everything was fine and dandy when you felt like you were on the edge of a cliff, ready to fall to your doom at any second.

“Y/n – “

“Seohyun – “

“Hear me out!” She whisper yells, cheeks rosy as she bites onto her bottom lip, timid. “I really like this guy. Felix is like, the nicest man I’ve ever met and I think he might like me too. So, can I please sit with him?”

“But you will, I’ll just be on your other side.” You force a smile, reaching for the door until she slams it shut, surprising you.

“Alone?” She adds, sheepish and way too flustered than she’d usually get in front of anyone. Seohyun was bold and confident, nobody could ever reduce her to a blushing, stuttering mess like she was right now. Nervous was not a word in her vocabulary so, nobody could blame you for not recognizing the person before you.

But then again, she was still drunk, emotions heightened by the alcohol she consumed. Still, you don’t think she understood what she was asking of you.

“Please, Y/n? Will you please do me this huge favor? It’s a fifteen minute drive anyway, you’re gonna be fine.”

Right, because who cared about what you felt anyway? Y/n, the one who always puts others and their needs above her wellbeing.

Seohyun is staring at you expectantly, almost like knowing you will eventually give in and she’ll get her way. Which would have offended you if it weren’t true.

With resignation written all over your face, you step away, and she cheers while thanking you multiple times, her voice dying out when you get into the car and close the door. Hyunjin barely spares you a glance, like you riding shotgun next to him is the most natural thing in the world.

Because it is. Or actually, was.

Seohyun follows quickly after, and Felix shifts to make room, the rearview mirror turning you into a spectator of a play you didn’t have any interest in watching, at least not right now. A story of new affection, an unexpected bond that appeared out of nowhere and forced you right back to the person who made you stop believing in true love.

But then again, maybe you shouldn’t jump to conclusions so soon. As much as you hoped this thing she had with Felix worked in the long run, you had to be realistic and remember they just met.

The four of you won’t ever be together like this again. You were going to make sure of it.

Hyunjin wastes no time in starting the car, driving off without a hitch, as relaxed behind the wheel as always. This new car was different, so much different than the one he’s been driving since your freshman year, but nobody seemed to care. This man was slowly but surely changing everything about himself and none of his friends said anything, not an ounce of concern expressed for his ears to hear.

You needed to talk to him.

“Nice jacket.” Felix says lowly, a statement meant for Seohyun’s ears only. However, his deep voice carries over, and since neither is trying to be subtle, you and Hyunjin have no problem hearing everything.

“Thanks, I got it from my date.” Unexpectedly, she drapes herself over your seat to plant a big, loud smooch on your cheek that doesn’t fail in leaving a red, lipstick mark. You’re so taken aback that you don’t react for a few moments, stunned before a groan escapes you and she laughs, delighted at your misery. You pull down the mirror on your side to check the damage, rubbing off the mark with your fingers while the conversation continues.

“I thought I was your date?” Felix asks, slightly offended.

“Well, I didn’t see you offering me your jacket?” Seohyun counters, arms over her chest.

Felix glances down at his outfit, leather shirt a little too constraining. “I’m literally naked under this.”

“What a surprise.” Hyunjin mumbles, eyes focused solely on the road.

Through the rearview mirror, you see Felix lean forward to pat him on the shoulder, grinning. “You shouldn’t be talking when you’re currently dressed like a fucking stop sign.”

Seohyun laughs, a little too loudly, and you try to muffle your giggles, still pretending to be busy fixing the mess on your face.

Out of the corner of your eye, you spot Hyunjin pouting the slightest bit. You haven’t seen him make that expression in literal months. “These are my lounging around the house clothes. Sorry I didn’t put on a suit before coming to pick your drunk ass up.”

Huh. Guess Hyunjin was tricked into coming over there just like you were, driven by the worry he only seemed to carry for his friends. Considering everything you’ve heard about him lately, you were half expecting him to be one of tonight’s hosts, coming from Daegu just so he can party it up with new people.

“Lighten up, Jinnie.” There’s a hint of melancholy in Felix’s smile, squeezing his shoulder before returning to his seat, and opening his arms to allow Seohyun to snuggle herself into his embrace. You flinch at the sight, looking out the window to distract yourself.

“Yeah, or else your face will remain stuck like that.” Seohyun agrees, her head on Felix’s chest.

When Hyunjin doesn’t respond, silence falls over the car, save for the occasional whispering and giggling heard in the back seat from the pair who were still too drunk for their own good. Stuck in their little world, they couldn’t care less about the fact that you felt like a fish out of water in your seat, suffocating as you tried your best to not glance at Hyunjin whose eyes were strictly on the road, focused on getting you all home.

The usual fifteen minute drive seemed to stretch on forever, your destination suddenly impossible to reach. You felt like you were driving around in circles, fidgeting in your seat in an effort to get comfortable.

Not only was Hyunjin too close for comfort after being out of reach for so long, but sitting next to him brought forth all of the instances you’ve found yourself in the same predicament, driving around together with no set destination in mind. Only back then, things were not as bad as now. Back then he was your boyfriend, your sweet and loving Hyunjin whose free hand was always resting on your thigh or holding your own, not letting go until the car’s engine was turned off.

Without their loud chatter to distract you, the strangeness of the situation was slowly creeping in, letting itself take shelter among your many thoughts. This must be as uncomfortable for him as it was for you, but for different reasons – especially since he now loved to pretend you didn’t exist, not sparing you a second glance no matter how many times your gaze found its way to him, staring holes into his perfect side profile.

It truly felt like he didn’t care about you anymore – the actual ending to the love story you thought would last forever. And it hurt, so much so that you struggled to breathe, opting to look out the window in hopes that your body wouldn’t betray you and let the tears escape without permission. That would be truly mortifying.

“Jinnie.” Felix’s voice makes itself heard again, snapping you out of your misery, quieter than before as you realize Seohyun is fast asleep on his chest, clinging onto him.

“Yeah?” Hyunjin asks just as quietly, meeting his best friend’s eyes through the rear-view mirror, which only prompts you to steal another glance at him. He’s relaxed, leaning back into his seat while driving with one hand, the other laying casually next to the central console. Your fingers were itching for him; it would be so easy to move over and hold his hand, intertwine your digits and bring them to rest on your thigh, just to feel his warmth one last time.

With a silent yawn, Felix gets more comfortable in his seat, looking sleepy himself. “I really hope you get to play next month. I know how much you miss it, and we all miss seeing you happy on the field.”

Your breath hitches in your throat as Hyunjin inhales sharply, free hand closing into a fist as the one on the heel tightens its grip, knuckles turning white. Before you can properly react, Felix continues.

“I overheard Mrs. Kang speak with your coach the other day.” He rambles on, the alcohol in his system blurring all of his awareness and making him spill everything without a care in the world, preventing him from noticing Hyunjin’s change in mood. “She hopes you’ll return to class soon. She misses seeing you dance and happily attending her lessons.”

You’re full-on staring at him now, following his every move like a hawk would its prey, noticing the way his muscles all tense up and scream at Felix to stop talking, his emotions threatening to overwhelm him. Your eyes widen as he slightly raises his fist, in a way that makes it seem he’s about to hit the dashboard, so uncharacteristic of him and his character that you almost freeze on the spot. Before you can even think about it, and process your next move, you reach for him, both of your hands closing over his fist to prevent him from being stupid. That makes him finally turn to you, eyebrows raised in complete surprise, facing you for the first time since you all got into his car.

Meeting his gaze, you subtly shake your head, letting your eyes do all the talking as you gently bring his hand in your lap, trying to coax him into unclenching his fingers.

Hyunjin is frozen, stunned and confused, tearing his eyes away from you once he remembers he’s still driving. Even so, a moment later, you feel him start to relax, your gesture appreciated.

Struggling to find an answer that would satisfy both him and Felix, Hyunjin fidgets in his seat, exhaling deeply once you finally intertwine your fingers with his. “We’ll see.” He manages to croak out, voice louder than before.

This answer, however, seems to confuse Felix even further. “Isn’t this what you want?” His accent is thicker, voice latched with sleep. He’s completely oblivious to what’s currently happening around him.

“Of course.” He nods, not skipping a beat, stealing another glance your way when you start drawing comforting patterns on the back of his hand.

Felix frowns. “Then – “

To Hyunjin’s relief, Felix doesn’t get to finish his sentence as Seohyun starts moving in his arms and steals all of his attention, with him opting to curl around her and whisper sweet nothings into her ear to soothe her back to sleep. A scene you wish you didn’t witness. Staring out the window once again, you try to shake off the painful way your heart keeps squeezing in your chest, hating yourself for your incapability of being happy for your best friend.

“Are you okay?” Hyunjin asks quietly, and it takes you a moment to realize he’s actually talking to you for once, briefly squeezing your hand as the car stops at a red light.

You nod, meekly, looking in the rearview mirror for a split second just to find Felix fast asleep, joining Seohyun in dreamland.

Your fingers on his skin stop their exploration once they feel something similar to a scar, tainting the side of his soft hand all the way up to his pinkie. You look down and see it, angry and red and just now beginning to heal properly. “Are you?”

He doesn’t even need to look to realize what you’re talking about, the brief touch causing him to tense up again and remove his hand like burnt, resting it back on the wheel. “Yup.”

You’re both lying.

The sudden tension is suffocating, so much thicker and unbearable than before as neither is willing to address the huge elephant in the room. You so desperately want to, having enough questions for the both of you. You knew he wasn’t curious about what you’ve been up to ever since you broke up, that he didn’t care, but you did, and this silence was eating away at your sanity with every second that passed.

Were you truly the only heartbroken one? The only one who suffered every day because of his absence? That was something you couldn’t comprehend, weren’t willing to entertain for the sake of your emotional well-being.

Hyunjin has been your everything once. Actually, as much as you hated to admit it, he still is. But how could you let yourself fall for someone whose feelings have never run as deep, didn’t consume his every thought and waking moment as they did to you?

How could you have been so dumb? But most importantly, how could you continue being this dumb when it was clear he didn’t want anything to do with you anymore?

Because you have no answers that don’t involve him, you somehow manage to muster enough courage to open your mouth and ask the one thing that’s been on your mind ever since you found out about it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Your voice is low, and weak since bravery has never been one of your strong suits.

Hyunjin is silent, and you’re afraid that maybe he didn’t even hear you. Eventually, as he turns into a familiar street, he asks, voice just as quiet in consideration of the two sleeping beauties in the back. “Tell you about what?”

“Your injuries.” It escapes so quickly that you don’t even have time to regret or feel bad for bringing it up in the first place.

To your surprise, Hyunjin laughs, short and dry and way too bitter. “And why would I tell you about that?”

“Why?” You’re baffled, blatantly staring at him as he continues avoiding eye contact, like driving didn’t come as second nature to him. “We dated for five years, Hyunjin.”

“I’m well aware, Y/n.” The way he responds, with obvious animosity, makes you curl into yourself, hurting more than it should considering his recent behavior. He changes lanes, entering a well-lit parking lot. “But we’re not dating anymore, so me getting injured was none of your concerns.”

“None of my – of course it was! Are you hearing yourself?”

It’s not like you felt entitled to any explanation whatsoever – Hyunjin was hardheaded, you could never catch him doing something he didn’t want to, which in combination with his hyper independent self was a dangerous combo. But the way he was acting right now made it seem like he was actively trying to erase your shared past, on a solitary quest to a place that couldn’t be accessed by all of the memories and love you grew for each other over the years.

Never one to open up on his own accord when hurt, you had to pry every single word out of him with silver pliers to ensure they wouldn’t irritate his sensitive skin. But this was ridiculous.

The person in front of you was no longer the Hyunjin you have come to adore with every fibre of your being.

“And why would it be?” He counters, pulling the handbrake to ensure the car wouldn’t be going down the same hill your conversation will inevitably take a tumble on.

You shrug, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible before his icy glare. “You know why.”

“No.” Hyunjin shakes his head, running the hand that still had remains of your warmth through unruly hair. “No, I don’t”

Defeated, your voice drops to a whisper. “You should have just told me. Picking up the phone and texting is literally the easiest thing in the world.”

But Hyunjin isn’t as mellow. “If you cared as much as you’re suddenly trying to convince me of doing, you would have come to the game.”

The subtle accusation hidden between the lines stings, and you turn to face him in your seat with a little more bite than before. “Oh yes! Because you would have surely loved to see me there! Especially after you dumped me days prior!”

“Maybe I would have!” He throws his hands up briefly, coming together on the wheel as he lowers his head with a deep sigh, trying to get rid of the emotions that were threatening to bubble to the surface and take him down in the process

“You’re so fucking confusing!”

You can’t believe your ears nor the audacity Hyunjin is currently displaying, the entitlement so infuriating that you had half a mind of storming out of this car and never sparing him a glance for as long as you lived. Who did Hyunjin think he was to expect this of you? For you to read his mind and still put him first after he completely shattered your soul and entire existence?

He leans back, on the headrest with his eyes closed and you can’t help but wonder what nonsense he was preparing next. Annoyance pinches his every word, the belief he was being the bigger person as clear as day. “I don’t want to fight, Y/n.”

“Fight?” You blink, eyes narrowed as they shoot tiny daggers at his blonde head. “I only wanted to talk! But I forgot you hate talking to me, so let’s just drop it.”

Before you can even process it, Hyunjin removes his seatbelt and swings the car door open, preparing to step out. Your hand reaches for his in an instant, eyes wide as sadness begins overflowing the usual colour, the fear of abandonment surging through you at an alarming pace. “What are you – “

“Let’s talk.”

You let go, reluctantly, and his door slams shut, the loud sound helping you snap out of it and recognize your surroundings. He has driven you home, car parked in the usual spot he used every time he came to visit – his spot.

You squeeze your eyes shut, pulling yourself together before following him, not wanting to miss such an opportunity no matter how much your heart hurts.

Unbeknown to you, as soon as your door closes and you begin walking away in the opposite direction, two heads full of curiosity shoot up, undetected thanks to the car’s tinted windows.

“Phase one, complete!” Seohyun cheers, raising her dainty hand for a high fives Felix returns with a chuckle.

“I admit, I’m impressed.” He nods, eyes glued to his two friends outside who were currently studying each other with keen interest, unsure of where to start. “How did you know this would happen?”

“I didn’t” She shakes her head, fishing a hair tie out of her bag, suddenly as sober as one could be. “I just knew Y/n wouldn’t be able to keep silent, especially after you gave her the opportunity to ask about his injuries. They’re too obsessed with each other to shut up or keep their hands to themselves. You saw for yourself.”

Felix looks amused, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. “You really do have a lot of faith in this plan of yours, don’t you?”

“Duh. Why wouldn’t I?” She smiles around the hair tie, twisting her long hair into a bun. “Just wait and see, I’ll have you calling me Cupid by the end of it all.”

He raises a brow, tearing his gaze away from the two when he starts to feel like he’s intruding. “And when does it end?”

“When they get back together, silly.”

“Sure. But in what time frame?”

“What do you mean?” Seohyun tilts her head, not quite getting his new line of concerns.

“Your whole plan is solely dependent on the conversation they’re having right now. What if they fight and nothing changes? Things might get worse and then you won’t be able to get them in the same room anymore, let alone back together.”

She pauses, lips thinning as the gears in her brain get back to work. “Don’t worry, I’ll manage no matter what.”

Felix is surprised by her determination, not expecting anyone to go to such lengths for a relationship that wasn’t their own. Y/n has found such a great friend in Seohyun, he’s glad she managed to open up and create new, genuine bonds while he was away. “Yeah? Even if they fight and swear to never speak to each other again?”

She nods, not fazed by anything he’s saying. “Yeah, wanna bet?”

Felix throws his head back, laughing loudly. “Bet on their relationship? Seohyun, that’s fucked up.”

“Bet on my amazing matchmaking skills, goofy!”

He wipes invisible tears from his eyes, freckles still sparkling from the faint traces of glitter on his face in the dim light that peeks through the windscreen, providing the night sky with the stars the grey clouds have obscured. “Alright, Seohyun, let’s bet. But if your plan falls through, you have to admit I was right.”

Seohyun frowns, a little offended. “We’re a team. You’re supposed to help me not pray on my downfall.”

“And I will.” He nods, leaning back into his seat while spreading his legs to make himself more comfortable, channelling all of his self-control not to spare the two outside another glance. “But my plan is better.”

Rolling her eyes, she scoffs. “Your plan takes too fucking long. I get taking it slow, but if we were to go with what you suggested, they’d only get around to holding hands by this time next year! We need to get a move on right now, Felix.”

“Alright, Miss Cupid.” Without warning, he leans in close, faces mere inches apart as they begin sharing a breath, lowering his voice to fluster her further. “Teach me what love is.”

[m4iya]

I like your accent, where're you from? Suna Rintaro

@moochiwoochi - from my 'wip ideas' event

When a new student transfers to your school, his lack of an accent - rather, its difference to yours - takes you by surprise.

"When are they going-ta just leave him alone? He's not a spectacle." Your friend groaned from beside you before taking a bite of her food.

At the front of the classroom sat a student who had transferred into your high school not long ago. Since he'd arrived, a bunch of your classmates had been hanging around him like he was some celebrity.

Though today, their excessive chatter and laughter made you feel increasingly irritated as your head had started throbbing from all the noise. You began to wonder if your classmates even brought lunch with them, seeing as their entire break seemed to be occupied in effort of gaining his attention.

Though he didn't seem too intrigued by the crowd, often trying to escape them. You'd also recently noticed that he'd developed a habit of randomly disappearing during breaks.

"Whatever, It'll probably die down in a few weeks," You replied, standing up from your table.

"Where're ya going?"

"Just-ta get some fresh air."

Your school was relatively large, with various places for students to spend their breaks. A courtyard, open rooftop and many outdoor seating areas. Though even with all the extra space, many students still preferred to stay indoors, eating their lunch in the cafeteria or spending their breaks in their classrooms.

You too spent most of your break time in class with your friends, but during moments like these, you needed to take a breather and rest your brain for some time.

In the courtyard was a large patch of grass, shaded by a few trees. It was behind one of the buildings, so it wasn't completely quiet, but it sure was a break from all the noise inside the classroom.

Buying something to drink from the cafeteria, you made your way over to the place you usually sit at. Though as you inched closer, you noticed a figure lying atop the grass. You initially had no idea who it was, but a few steps later, you noticed it was the new student who - when you last saw him - was being swarmed by your classmates. You wondered if talking to him was an option, finding it a little awkward to strike up a conversation even though you hadn't said a single word to each other since he'd transferred.

As you made the split second decision to leave, a dry leaf crunched under your foot, causing him to sit up; eyes immediately finding you. You shot him an awkward smile before proceeding to turn around, only to hear his voice pop up from behind.

"Wait,"

Turning back around, you saw him sitting cross legged, patting the patch next to him. Proceeding to sit down, you wondered what on earth he wanted.

"Did ya need something?" You asked, poking the straw into your drink, attempting to maintain an air of nonchalance.

"We haven't met yet. Aren’t we in the same class?"

You'd heard him speak before, although only once during class introductions, so him speak up close caught you off guard. It wasn't an accent something you heard everyday.

"Um.. Yeah, I am." You stuttered.

"Well, at least you aren't swarming me," He muttered, bringing his knees up to his chin. "Like, I've never heard a western accent in person either, so what makes me so different?"

You listened to him frustratingly complain to you - who was also someone he had just met - about the swarms of people clinging to him. The two of you ended up getting carried away in conversation, finding things in common with each other. Though, the ringing of the bell eventually sounded throughout the school, putting a lid on your conversation.

However, as you both made your way through back to class together, he still had one more thing to say.

"You'll have to teach me the slang one day."

"You'll probably pick it up on yer own." You joked.

Taking each other’s contact details, you’d begin texting, meeting up after school and continuing to hang out during breaks as well. Eventually, the crowds around him also fizzled out as they pretty much got used to him.

He’d joke around with you, saying, “Aw shucks, I’m not popular anymore.” and you’d laugh about it, responding with, “Yer five minutes of fame are finally over.”

other works

[ladycinism]

I haven't seen many people talk about the fact that Ekko was only able to save Jinx because she (well, Powder) saved him during his adventure in the parallel universe.

I know the fandom tends to see Ekko as this perfect boy who wants to save Zaun and cares deeply about his people but I think many overlook how detrimental this "saviour" persona is to him.

In the first season we are introduced to an Ekko that is fully submerged into his leader role and when he talks about Jinx he does so with a kind of resigned energy that lets you know how hard the topic is for him, to basically consider his best friend lost or evil but also that he's fully convinced of what he's saying, of the finality of it.

Most of all, Ekko stood out to me as angry. We like to joke about the fact that he's got a very short fuse and while I think that's part of his character (that I very much like btw) it is also product of his disillusionment with the undercity and with Jinx and it might also be the reason why he's so suspicious of Vi at first.

He says it himself while talking to Powder:

"I used to dream that the undercity could be like this but somewhere I got consummed by all the ways it wasn't. I gave up on it, gave up on you".

And it rang true to me because it's only human that when you constantly try to make the best out of a fucked up situation and your efforts never pay off in full that you end up losing your hope along the way. I think Ekko had to give up a lot growing up in order to create a community for all those lost in Zaun: his friends, his home, his self too. He became the leader who abducts a long-lost friend who he thought was dead because she was seen with an enforcer and even though he cared deeply about Vi he couldn't let her endanger his community (that's also one of the reasons why he goes for the kill with Jinx on the bridge but there will be another post about that).

So in a way I think Powder really saved him, not only by making him see what Zaun could be but also giving him back the hope he thought he had lost.

"I've never seen you give up on everything"

This is Powder reminding him who he is (Mufasa in a pretty dress, if you will), reminding him who and what he's fighting for and she does so with an easiness that only someone who's known him his whole life could achieve. That's why he immediately goes to Jinx when he goes back, because if he can be himself again so can she.

And note that this is not Ekko being selfless (and after years spent prioritizing the firelights this is good). He now wants to save the tree, Zaun and even Jinx, not just because it is the right thing to do but because it's what he wants.

I think saving Jinx is the first thing he does for himself in a very long time.

And how poetic is the fact that as soulmates they're the only ones who can save each other because they see and embrace every aspect of the other?

[rwshfordgirl]

WEDDING

all images were taken from pinterest.

where he and reader met thanks to her brother's marriage to his cousin.

paring: joão félix X reader!

a/n: i really hope you like it because i loved the result 😭

requests are open | check here my masterlist

i don't think I've ever taken a shower so quickly in all my years of life, all because i woke up bizarrely late but it's not reason enough for me to leave the house without taking a bath. and i had to make a big effort to remember where i was going today, i only remembered that it was an important event but my mind busy with college can't remember everything.

but the post-it stuck to the fridge made me eat quickly and get to the car even faster. i completely forgot that today was reserved for my brother's bride, it's the day to help her choose her wedding dress and consequently the bridesmaids' dresses.

"i hope you're already arriving." the message she sent arrived on my cell phone a few seconds after i parked the car near the wedding dress atelier. my brother was with my cousins and some men i didn't know outside, which intrigued me. "what are you doing here?" i asked, approaching. "we'll try on the suits right after you guys." he replied and i nodded. "today is going to be a long day for you guys." i smiled and entered the place most loved by all brides. i hadn't even gone up the stairs when i heard laughter from the men outside "fabio, joão wants to be your brother-in-law." an unknown male voice shouted and more laughter was heard.

i found the comment funny even though i don't know who said it, much less who joão is. i just know that single life is really cool. even though i sometimes miss sleeping cuddled up with someone, but i don't think i have any intention of meeting anyone at my brother's wedding, unless  mr. destiny has other plans.

"finally, i thought you would never arrive." i was greeted by my mother opening the door to the salon reserved for brides. her hands promptly grabbed my cheeks. "long time no see, huh?" i joked about the fact that i had spent the entire afternoon at her house yesterday. my mother just stuck out her tongue as an answer and pulled me into the room. my sister-in-law was already trying on a beautiful dress like cindelera's. she looked at me through the reflection in the mirror.

"what do you think?" she asked me. i was speechless. carol was so beautiful in that dress, she really looked like a princess. "it's already my favorite." she smiled and i could see her eyes welling up. "it's mine too." she said, wiping away the tears that had started to form. "i can't believe I've barely arrived and i'm already leaving." the other bridesmaids in the room laughed and carol rolled her eyes. "no way. i'll try on some others to make sure of my choice."

i pretended to snort as i sat on the edge of the couch. there are so many women in the room, my mother, her mother, carol's friends and cousins. i can't even imagine how many bridesmaids she will have. but my brother and she deserve a wedding worthy of royalty.

fabio is two years older than me and we have always been best friends, he knows more about my life than my mother. and i remember perfectly when he introduced us to carol, she is the sister-in-law of anyone's dreams.

"carol, may i come in?" three knocks on the door distracted my attention. most likely one of the boys sitting downstairs wants to speak to the bride. "of course joão, my favorite cousin." joão, the boy from a few minutes ago. i felt something strange when she said that. i involuntarily adjusted my posture and started to fiddle with the necklace around my neck. the door opened slowly, but soon revealed a tall, smiling male figure with brown hair. his gaze went straight to me, since i, sitting on the edge of the sofa, am the first thing anyone who opens the door will see.

he continued on his way towards the bride and i didn't try to hide the fact that i was following him with my eyes, something that my mother noticed "carol's cousin, isn't he cute?" i turned towards her with my eyes slightly widened, she nudged me and motioned for me to turn toward joão again. he was about to leave, but his eyes met mine before his fingers touched the doorknob and my mother gently motioned with her fingers for him to come to her. "mãe." i muttered.

"fabio introduced you to his sister, joão?" she pointed in my direction. "he told me when she passed by us a few minutes ago, but we haven't been introduced." he smiled at me. "nice to meet you, joão!" he extended his hand to me and i shook it. "nice to meet you joão, i'm yn." He didn't stop smiling which made me uncomfortable, he was causing me a very strange feeling "we'll see you later, your brother asked me to go get something with him." he commented "but again, it was nice to meet you." i received a wink that made me disconnect from the outside world, i didn't even see when he opened the door and left and didn't even heard what my mother just said.

it took carol three hours to make sure that the dress she tried on when she arrived was the right one. and it took us another two hours to choose the bridesmaids' dresses. the boys who were waiting for their turn to try on their suits walked past us with tired faces, but i couldn't help but notice that joão was no longer there. i believe we will only see each other again on the wedding day.

two months later.

i don't know how i ended up in a chelsea match and still sitting almost next to the  players on the bench. in fact, i don't know why i accepted my brother's invitation, seriously. there we are, me and five other friends of his, in the middle of the excited fans of the english team.

but the urge to leave disappeared from my body when the players entered the field to warm up. on the screen appeared someone i had seen only once two months ago, joão, carol's cousin. i was surprised, he doesn't look like a football player. i swore he was a student on one of those super competitive courses. joão félix, chelsea's number 14 hasn't left my head since i met him and he is definitely the reason behind my presence here today, my brother commented that he won the tickets from someone.

something that was confirmed when the game ended and the fans began to empty the stadium, but my brothers and friends didn't move a muscle "aren't we leaving?" i asked my brother who denied "let's wait for joão." i swallowed hard and settled into the seat, admiring the view of the field and thinking about joão.

"are you really mad about the game, man?" i was taken out of my thoughts by my brother's voice, when i looked at him, joão was sitting behind him. i smiled simply at the player when he looked at me, he smiled back but there was disappointment written all over his face. chelsea drew with a team i didn't know and joão missed an incredible chance to score the tiebreaker. 

"let's go home. drink and forget about this game." one of my brother's friends said and joão put his hands on his own face. "i don't wanna" he said before taking a deep breath. i stood up with the intention of saying goodbye, i felt it was time to go. "it was nice spending the night here with you guys, but I'm going now." i got up from the bench with my coat wrapped around my arm. "how are you leaving?" my brother asked. "by bus." i answered and he nodded. "don't you want me to take you?" he asked and i quickly refused. "i can take you, it's too late for you to go alone." joão surprisingly offered to take me. he said this as he got up from the bench "great idea! joão is a great driver, you'll be fine." my brother also got up and patted me twice on the shoulder.

i nodded to joão, i hate going home alone at night. even if i go from here to who knows where, i'm completely uncomfortable being in a stranger's car but even more nervous because this stranger is the portuguese player.

we both said goodbye to the guys and i followed joão to the garage. we passed some players on the way and the portuguese guy said goodbye to everyone. but i have to say that i freaked out inside when we got to his car and he opened the  door for me. my gaze went from the door to him, a slight smile appeared on his face "thank you" the thanks came out almost like a whisper.iI watched in the rearview mirror as he walked behind the car and sat in the driver's seat. "where are we going?" he asked as he opened the gps on the car's dashboard. "do you know the address of my mother's house?" he nodded. "yes, i do. i go there with fabio a lot." i smiled. "you can drop me off there then. it's closer than dropping me off at home." he nodded, "but it's okay to drop you off at home if you want, i can go there. where is it?" he questioned "no need, i don't want to bother you! and anyway i would have to go to my mother's house tomorrow, you're already going to save me from having to take the subway." i laughed "are you sure?" i nodded and he put my mother's house address into the gps.

"now i understand why i never saw you at the parties that carol organizes." the car stopped at the red light a few seconds after we left the stadium. "why?" he looked at me while resting his head on the window. "because you must always be busy with games and practices." he smiled, a wide smile this time. "yeah, most of the time i arrive late at her events." i grimaced. "you'll never see me staying late at places, i'm a person who goes home very early." green light. "really, i've never seen you at the events and if i did, i would definitely remember, your face is not at all forgettable." i turned my head towards my window, embarrassed "i'll take that as a compliment." he tapped his fingers lightly on the steering wheel. "it's a compliment."

I bit my lip after letting out a shy laugh "thank you." i thanked him awkwardly "it's a great time to say that when we met on the day of choosing the wedding clothes, i could hear someone say that you wanted my brother's brother-in-law." he laughed "i knew you heard, bruno almost grabbed a megaphone to be heard by the entire united kingdom." another red light, this time his hands went to his face "all this because i said a wow when you left."

"I liked knowing that i messed with you." i said before thinking "yeah, i was really surprised that i couldn't get it out of my head." i looked at him out of the corner of my eye "would you be disappointed if i told you that i have a boyfriend?" joão looked at me wide-eyed but i signaled for him to pay attention to the traffic, the cars in front of him had already moved. "do you have?" he became apprehensive "no, i'm just kidding." he chuckled as he placed his hand on his chin. i don't know where i got the courage to flirt like that.

my mother's house is relatively close to the blues house. we arrived quickly and i was a little disappointed, i admit. now that things were starting to happen. joão got out of the car with me and walked me to the door "thanks for the ride." i dared to kiss him on the cheek, his cheeks blushed and his gaze remained fixed on the floor for a few seconds "can we see each other again before the wedding?" he asked "yes, whenever you want." he gave me his cell phone so i could add my number and so i did "good night joão, thanks again." i put the key in the doorknob and saw the player slowly walking away "it was a pleasure! let me know when you need a ride."  he approached the car "bye, good night!" he honked at me before disappearing from my field of vision.

i walked into my house and nearly melted as i closed the door. "i think I'm going to get a new son-in-law." my mother appeared out of nowhere. "it was just a ride." she laughed at me. "today it's a ride, tomorrow a proposal." i just laughed, rolling my eyes. unfortunately, I just saw him  and i've already started counting the days until i see him again.

[hard-core-super-star]

make you mine this season [K.Bishop]

pairing: kate bishop x barton!reader

summary: a badly timed snowstorm leaves you unable to make it to the barton farm for christmas. thankfully, a certain archer shows up to keep you company.

warnings: none, i think? just really cheesy, holiday rom-com type of fluff [i say this as if i've watched any holiday rom-com besides happiest season and the holiday 😶]; kate's a dork [wow, what a shock]; idiots in love; past mentions of bishova; bad jokes?; snowstorm; cheesy gifts bc kate can't talk about her feelings

wordcount: 1.5k

a/n: HI, EVERYONE, I'M ALIVE! and it wouldn't be a rubix fic if it WASN'T posted a little late 😅 i hope you all had a fantastic holiday season and that you'll accept this very cheesy Christmas fic <3 [and maybe that last line is very self-indulgent but that's none of your business, if you know you know]

* * * * * * *

You’re no stranger to loneliness but things were bordering on ridiculous. Not only have you spent the past two years ridiculously in love with a certain purple-loving archer, you’re also on the verge of spending Christmas by yourself thanks to the worst-timed snowstorm of all time.

And maybe the first part of your unfortunate situation is your fault but that doesn’t stop the waves of disappointment from crashing into you.

This year was supposed to be different. 

That’s what you had told yourself in an effort to convince yourself to tell the young archer about your feelings for her. It was a strategy that almost worked…until a certain blonde decided to accept Kate’s offer for drinks…which turned into a date…which turned into a second date…which turned into the longest four months of your life.

You could never be one to be mad at someone else’s happiness but that didn’t stop you from feeling absolutely defeated every time you saw them together. There was no one to blame except you for the brunette’s lack of knowledge about your feelings and that only made everything worse.

It was impossible to ignore the ache in your chest when your eyes met Kate’s or the heavy jealousy that clouded most of your interactions with her. Maybe if you had been less into your head about the whole thing, you would have realized the way the archer’s smile never seemed to reach her eyes. 

Eyes that followed you every time you walked away.

You never noticed the traces of darkness that clung to her usually radiant persona but you were the first person at her side when the break up happened. She offered little to no details besides an awkward joke about the relationship ending almost exactly where it started right at the Rockefeller tree.

It was messed up in a way that made Kate want to make as many jokes about it as possible which resulted in you laughing at things that definitely weren’t funny and were just sad. Not as sad as spending the holidays completely alone and hopelessly in love with your best friend, though.

You were sure the archer was already well on her way to your dad’s farm which leaves you completely unprepared when the door to your apartment swings open to reveal her. She almost drops the key in her hand the second she realizes you’re home.

“What’re you doing here?” You question, doing your best to pretend you don’t see the gift bags she tries to hide behind her back.

You can practically see the wheels turning in her head before she’s finally able to respond. “What am I doing here? What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at Clint’s?”

It’s hard not to laugh at the incredulous look on her face. No matter how many times you see it, it’s still as endearing as the first time. Back when she was just your dad’s protege and you hadn’t spent so many of your days learning the ins and outs of her complicated personality.

“Did the incoming snowstorm happen to slip your mind?”

“No, I just thought you’d want to go anyway,” she replies with a small shrug. 

“I’d rather not crash, Lila will never let me hear the end of it.”

Your words make her tilt her head to the side, the slightest hint of a pout on her face. “So…what, you’re just going to spend Christmas alone?”

“Yup. Kate, I’m not a kid anymore, nothing will happen if I spend one day by myself.”

“But it’s Christmas!” She exclaims, looking borderline offended that you’re so comfortable spending the holiday alone. 

“Is that why you’re breaking into my apartment?” You ask in a foolish attempt to stop yourself from asking her to spend the day with you. 

Just because she thought about you long enough to come drop off her, no doubt ridiculously expensive, gifts for you does not mean she wants to spend the holiday with you when she could easily spend it with anyone else.

The pink hue that overtakes her cheeks is a better gift than anything that could be inside the bags in her hand. “Well, uh…maybe…”  

She finally gathers enough courage to get rid of the distance between you with a bright, albeit nervous, smile on her face. You half-expect her to launch into some long ramble about why she just couldn’t stop herself from buying an insane amount of gifts for you this year but she doesn’t. 

For once in her life, Kate Bishop makes things easy for herself.

“I didn’t think I was going to make it to the farm on time so I was just going to drop these off for you…” She holds out the bag for you and you do your best to calm the rapid beating of your heart as you take it.

“Can I open it right now or will you get embarrassed?” 

“Both,” she replies through a chuckle. “I would leave but I don’t want you to be lonely.”

“Right, because I’m the one who gets lonely.”

“Shut up.”

It’s both a blessing and a curse to have broken through the archer’s defenses and right now, her cute reactions are beginning to feel like a curse. Although, that might just be your unrequited feelings talking.

A slightly awkward silence settles over both of you while you rifle through the overwhelming amount of purple tissue paper until you find your gift. You’re expecting another expensive necklace, maybe a bracelet this time, but what you’re met with is the most thoughtful gift you’ve ever received…and probably the most thoughtful gift Kate has ever given.

What you end up pulling out of the bag is a leather journal with a beautiful engraving of yours and Kate’s initials. “Kate…is this-”

“Yeah, I, um…I couldn’t find a photo album that I liked so I sort of…made my own.”

You can’t stop yourself from flipping through the first couple of pages, caught somewhere between the euphoria of being given something so beautiful and the disappointment that comes with knowing it all only serves to fuel your love for the archer. 

Love you can’t express the way you want to.

Love that’s hidden between the pages of the journal you hold in your hands. 

You don’t notice and Kate isn’t really in a hurry to watch you read the series of rambles that make up her overdue confession so she lets the moment fade like she always has. It’s not like you can blame her for wanting to move on to something else, her lack of focus isn’t necessarily a secret, and you let yourself get carried away by her jokes and her stubborn need to make mac and cheese for you.

The archer manages to cook without setting your kitchen on fire and the two of you settle on your couch to watch the first cheesy Christmas movie you find. In all honesty…the movie is awful but the corny jokes make Kate laugh so you can’t find it in yourself to be too grumpy about the shitty writing.

Until the scene in front of you reminds you of the archer and her ex. You’re unable to hold back the jealousy-tinted snarkiness said reminder brings out of you. “I think Yelena watched this movie and then decided to be a dick just like the main character.”

Kate instantly turns toward you, staring at you with wide eyes that barely hide her amusement. “What?”

“What?” You feign confusion to avoid having to repeat yourself.

“You know what,” she replies with an eyeroll. “If I’m the one who got broken up with, why are you the one that’s still upset?”

“Because- wait, why are you not upset?”

Your uno-reverse of a response leaves Kate speechless for a few seconds and you prepare yourself for the series of jokes that will no doubt leave her mouth next. 

But Kate’s never been predictable.

“Because…she didn’t break my heart. She didn’t even own it in the first place.”

Her words spark the low flames of hope hidden in the depths of your heart. It feels impossible and if you were a believer, you might even say Santa’s on your side, helping to give you the one thing you’ve wished for more nights than you can count.

And yet you hesitate.

“What are you trying to say?” You ask, your voice so soft it borders on cautious.

“That I’m an idiot,” she replies with that same bright smile that made you fall for her so long ago. “And…I’d really like to kiss you.”

The world seems to slow down to a complete stop at that moment. 

You almost don’t even know what to do with yourself. Thankfully, you manage to kick yourself into action before the moment passes.

Kate’s awkwardness seems to disappear into thin air as she leans in toward you, meeting you halfway for the softest, sweetest, kiss you’ve ever had. And maybe nothing about it is perfect but it’s you and her and that’s all that matters for now.

[n1k0laa5]

I saw your recent post about asks you've gotten and not answering them all, and I get it, but I'm wondering if mine is one that fits into what you were talking about. I sent one in a few days ago (not that you'll know which one was mine, since I was and am anonymous) saying I tried everything and I hit a low point because while I persisted for multiple years and did all the advice everyone gave me, I got no results, at all. I know you said in a post that if you say you tried everything (and haven't shifted) then no you haven't, but I dont understand that, because I genuinely did everything everybody says, and I listened to myself and my instincts just as much, and worked on my mindset, and I've never been negative like this, ever, until a few days ago, and it's been 5 years. I understand if you don't want to answer this ask either, as I do understand everything you said in your post, but I'm honestly desperate and I need help, and I genuinely don't know what others answer asks like you do, as I haven't been using tumblr for shifting for that long. I apologize for this, I get why you might not answer, but I've hit a brick wall and I'm genuinely lost, and nobody I've asked has answered so I figured I'd just try one more time.

we’re gonna have a real conversation.

i’ll be honest—i probably deleted your ask. not because of YOU specifically, i deleted half of them because i’m tired, i’m stressed out and suddenly i have the pressure to preform and give information to those in need… you can tell from the sudden 180 from how “professional” and “smart” my responses sounded.. to now.

but i’ll answer this one.

because you didn’t come here for comfort. not really. you came here because you want to understand why this shit feels like a cosmic joke, and maybe, deep down, you want someone to slap the illusion out of your skull and remind you who the fuck you are.

when i said “if you say you’ve tried everything and still haven’t shifted, no you haven’t,” i meant that shit. not to invalidate you. not to be cruel. but because the entire foundation of this reality is: what you assume is, what you persist in hardens, and what you believe reflects.

so when someone tells me “i’ve tried everything and nothing’s worked,” what they’re really saying is: i’ve tried everything EXCEPT changing the core belief that it’s not working.

because you said you’ve been doing this for five years. that’s a long fucking time to persist in trying. but what if your dominant state for five years has actually been trying to shift, not being shifted? what if all that time you spent assuming you’re still on the journey… was the very thing keeping the journey going?

and before you snap back with “but i affirmed that i already shifted!!! i imagined it!!!” i know you did. i know you did. i’m not denying your effort.

but effort ≠ embodiment.

it is entirely possible to do all the “right” things externally while internally reinforcing the opposite state. it’s possible to loop affirmations about being god while still identifying as the version who needs to prove it. it’s possible to visualize your DR every night while still believing that if you don’t wake up there, it didn’t work.

and that is the trap. the spiritual hamster wheel. the invisible leash that keeps you running in circles thinking “this next try will be it” when you were already it.

you said you listened to your instincts. you worked on your mindset. you stayed positive. but what if that too was part of the trap? what if the need to “fix” yourself, “heal” your mindset, “improve” your self-concept was just another way of telling yourself you weren’t already the version who has it?

because here’s the truth no one likes to hear: shifting doesn’t reward the purest heart or the hardest worker or the most dedicated scriptwriter. it doesn’t wait until you’ve ticked every LOA box. it doesn’t show up because you’ve earned it. it shows up when you decide it already has. when you stop trying. when you stop seeking. when you stop assuming that it’s something to get to, rather than something to be.

you’re not broken. you’re not missing a step. you’re just still operating from the belief that shifting is over there, and you’re still over here, trying to reach it. but the second you truly, fully, non-negotiably decide that it’s already yours? that this moment right here, this breath, this version of you reading this post is already the shifted one? the whole game changes.

but let me be real with you. if i handed this response to you five months ago, would you have heard it? really heard it? or would your brain have gone, “yeah yeah i know that already” and then moved on to the next method, the next void tutorial, the next subliminal hoping it’ll finally click? because that’s what most people do. they collect wisdom like junk mail. they read and scroll and save and nod along while never letting the information drop into embodiment. they read about being god. they don’t own it.

so here’s what i need you to understand:

the only reason you haven’t shifted is because you’ve continued to identify with the version of you who hasn’t.

it’s not about doing more. it’s about stopping the performance of “doing” altogether. it’s about burning the costume of the seeker and stepping naked into the version who has nothing left to prove.

and maybe right now your brain is screaming “but that’s so hard” or “i don’t know how.” but baby. that is still the voice of the version who hasn’t. that’s the character who believes they need to figure it out before they get the prize. and until you drop that character, you’ll be trapped in their loop. not because you’re cursed. not because it’s not meant for you. but because you keep choosing to play them.

i’m not gonna give you another list of tips. i’m not gonna give you a new technique. because none of that will help if you’re still identifying as the person who needs help. instead, i’m gonna ask you one question:

what would you feel right now if this was already your DR?

not “what would you do.” not “what would you affirm.”

just—what would you feel?

go there. sit in it. be with it. not for a minute. not for a night. forever.

that’s how you get out. not by begging for the door, but by realizing you were never locked in.

and if that pisses you off, good.

if that makes you cry, better.

if it makes something in your chest snap, crack, burn, perfect.

that’s the shell breaking. that’s the story dying. that’s the god in you remembering.

so no, i might not have answered your ask when it first came in. not because it wasn’t worthy. but because maybe you weren’t ready to hear this yet. and now? maybe you are.

maybe this time, when you read this, you won’t try to figure out what to do with it.

maybe this time, you’ll just let it become you.

and if so?

then welcome.

you just fucking shifted.

[part-time-zombie]

Ok I've either reached some sort of analytical epiphany here, or I fully fried my brain and I'm no longer making sense. Either way...

seven sides = seven deadly sins.

Roman = Pride.

Easy enough, he represents the ego and pride in a most literal sense (along with passion and creativity). A wound to his ego creates literal pain, and his reputation/role as a heroic prince means everything to him since his very existence is tied to being the "good" part of imagination.

Remus = Lust.

Another easy one, but I think it's more than just the dirty jokes here. It had been suggested before that since Remus represents all forbidden/unwanted thoughts that c!thomas rejected/repressed because he thought they were bad, there likely may have been a point where he was also his closeted homosexuality in the past.

Virgil = Sloth.

Procrastination is a common practice from Virgil, one he either unintentionally prompts or openly promotes. Anytime something stressful or challenging occurs, Virgil always seems to suggest inactivity and avoidance as the solution, preferring to hide from the issue altogether instead of making any effort into fixing it.

Orange = Wrath (?)

Not much is really known here, but from what we've seen so far it's fair to assume that anger is a driving force if not a direct role for the orange side, though future videos may provide more insight.

Janus = Greed.

Greed is a desire to collect and hoard material wealth/resources, with no intention of sharing or using it. It is innately selfish (and not always in a good way) and the way I feel this translates to Janus is by him wanting c!thomas to prioritize himself above all else, even if it involves letting others down. He wants Thomas to seek out the things he wants in life (like the callback) and to take it without feeling bad about choosing his own happiness. This isn't just for goals/achievements, though, he also wants thomas to save his free time/availability for himself without giving it out carelessly. It's as he said: "it's your time and you do what you want with it". He wants Thomas to remove the blindfold and take what he wants while he still can, before the opportunity is lost again.

Patton = Envy.

This one was a little tough, but I think I made it make sense (at least to me). Patton is Thomas' morality, something instilled in him by observing and imitating those around him. As such, Patton's ideals largely come from him comparing himself and Thomas to others. Sure, Thomas is good, but is he as good as someone else? Can be be better? Can he be perfect, and what counts as perfect to begin with? Patton is constantly looking to outside influences to determine what standards to set, which is why Janus managed to help get through to him when he needed guidance in pof. In a way, Patton is envious of others for them seemingly having gotten it all figured out and being effortlessly good (which is obviously ridiculous, but Patton may have had issues with realizing that).

Logan = Gluttony.

In all seriousness, though, this is about more than just crofters. Gluttony is an obsessive overindulgence of material pleasures and consuming more than is healthy. It differs from greed in that greed focuses on amassing wealth and holding onto it, while gluttony uses up everything it can as quickly as possible. How does that relate to Logan? Well, instead of simply associating this with jam or wine, I like to think he is gluttonous of c!thomas' time. He says he experiences a "titillating, tingling sensation whenever deadlines are met" and regularly tried to direct as much of the focus onto himself and his plans as possible, and becomes frustrated without having surplus time to work. It's not like that time is wasted, though. He does quite the opposite by trying to prioritize all of the time to what he wants, even when it's at a detriment to the others/thomas. He allotted only 0.5% of the day to hopes and dreams, insisting the rest of the day be spent as he pleases. Why? Because being prioritized means he's important and respected, which for him is like the best feeling in the world. And going by how eagerly he devours crofters or chugs wine, it's clear that anything he finds enjoyable will be immediately consumed.

[longlivethewildernessyet]

Working on a bigger analysis looking at all the references to blood in Sleep Token songs, here's what I've got so far.

“We still know how to bleed” from Sugar:

We still know how to hurt. We still know how to live. We still know how to give. We still know how to feel.  We're still human. Still hurting, living, feeling, bleeding human, after it all. Blood can represent so much— pain, death, life, sex. Embedded in sensuality, it springs forth a visceral reminder of what we are underneath the pretences. It is liquid heart, the very core of us, running in our very bones. It's living as knowledge— it's something that you can lose, sometimes, if you don't make the effort to keep it. Or if someone takes it from you.  It's hurting as knowledge— as something to be remembered, to be cherished. A reminder of what you are. Something that feels something.  It's giving as knowledge. A muscle you work over and over and over. Have more of me, drink from me, take all you can from me. We still know how to bleed. The knowledge was never lost. It runs, hot.

“Everything we touch turns water into blood” from When The Bough Breaks:

Corruption— turning something pure and holy into something else. Something not dirty, not necessarily impure, but inherently different and earthly. Blood is human, blood is animal, blood is injury, blood is sex, blood is nourishment but only when nothing else can be eaten, blood is wrong, blood shouldn't be seen outside of the body, blood is death, blood is life. You drink water as an act of cleansing, of thirst, of health, of nourishment that is acceptable. Water is safe. Water is normal. You drink blood as an act of subversion, of hunger, of desire, of consumption. Blood is Not Safe, but that's why you drink it. And everything you touch turns water to blood. That feeling of dirtying everything you touch. That feeling of being so corrupted that you corrupt everything around you. You're tainted, you're infectious, you're no better than what corrupted you in the end. (Also going to go into more detail on the water into wine parallel but!!! It's there!!! Vessel my guy stop putting religious symbolism everywhere I can't keep up (joking)).

“Til the sweat turns to blood” from Say That You Will:

This one caught my attention immediately. One of the biblical stories of Jesus is that, prior to his sacrifice and death, he spent the night praying, begging his Father to take this burden away from him; he was so distressed by the prospect of dying in such a horrific manner that his sweat turned to blood*. Vessel frequently plays with biblical imagery but this comparison is so extreme. The singer is saying that they are approaching something that they must do but cannot, and is begging a higher power to take this from them. A great sacrifice. Pain, torture, separation from the one they love most in order to save the one they love most.  Now, I was brought up in a church, so this was naturally the first thing I thought of, but it is medically recognised. Hematohidrosis. Sweating blood when you are stressed beyond what your body can handle. Say That You Will has never been a romantic song for me, but this only cements that the relationship that is depicted in the lyrics is pushing the singer beyond what a human being can physically handle.  They are so, so swept up in this relationship that even as their body submits to the stress that they are under, they are begging for the recipient to make promises the singer knows they won't keep. Their body is failing. They are at the point of no return. Their physical self is wasting away. And yet— and yet the song sweeps, Vessel croons, to the ear it is a love ballad; but the singer is sweating blood. The singer is deeply in love, and they are sweating blood. (*like many many many bible verses, this one is up to interpretation, I'm just using it this way for the sake of analysis and comparison) (after writing this I'd finally got round to listening to the Sleep Study Podcast and The Host mentions this connection in the episode on Say That You Will, so check it out!!! Really recommend the podcast, it's so complex and well thought out.)

[someobsessionrequired]

Love your cuddle headcanons 😍 would you do some Dating one with Kid and Killer?

I would love that! I wasn't sure if you meant just general dating headcanons cannons or what but here's some fluffy headcanons with Kid! I've been super busy recently and it took me way too long to get this out so here's kids half and I will be posting killers later in the week!

Fluffy Relationship Headcanons with Kid!

Kid!

Breaking through this man's ruff exterior is quite a feat! He was most definitely the type to never see himself settling down, instead moving from fling to fling each port they visit

So when he found himself falling for his newest recruit it was definitely new waters for him

Do not expect a mundane relationship, a proper relationship is very foreign for this man, but that doesn't mean that man doesn't put in the effort he can

Does not like PDA when he's in Captain mode, but definitely expect to be sitting on his lap and smothered in attention the moment it comes to game/poker nights

In public he is definitely a PDA guy, definitely comes off as territorial making sure no other man would dare look at you unless they wanted to get their ass beat

Also just a huge snuggle bug! In bed he always wants to have you held close to him, even after a fight he will put his ego aside murmured a half-assed apology just so he can hold you

Definitely not a traditional dates kinda guy, expect dingy bars and night staring at the ocean, but in those moments you completely capture his full attention

When the tides turn and danger is near he knows you can handle yourself but can't help but keep an eye on you just in case, if something happens and he can't be there he always makes sure killer is watching your back

Speaking of being in a relationship with him definitely consists of a lot of time spent with the three of you

Hell sometimes it feels like you're the side piece, but Jokes Aside you having a close relationship with killer is important for Kid, he is the person he trusts most in the world aside from you

100% the type to make knick knacks mostly jewelry in his workshop for you, this is both for the fact that he enjoys how your face lights up when he gives it to you but also knowing that you'll wear it and it's a part of him on you

He got annoyed the first time you stole one of his t-shirts, because of this you quickly changed... come to find out his thoughts on the matter have completely changed and he now constantly throws his articles of clothing at you

Most definitely just another one of his marking traits, he just loves people knowing you are his

[hils79]

Alive! Sort of?

Sorry I haven't been around much. I got back from seeing Ateez, and immediately got sick, which is no big surprise after 3 arena shows in 5 days. I'd have been more surprised if I hadn't tbh. Just about everyone I know who saw them in Manchester ended up getting sick.

I'm over the worst of it now but I'm still quite run down and tired and I've got a lingering cough which is only just now starting to subside.

You know what, though? Totally worth it. I had amazing time seeing Ateez and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Initially I was going to do a write-up of the shows but it's been nearly 2 weeks now so instead here's a few bullet points

This was my first concert since 2008 and my first kpop concert period so I honestly had no idea what to expect

Nothing could have prepared me for the atmosphere. The crowd was pumped and singing loudly before the show even started

So thankful to everyone who told me to invest in some earplugs. I took them out for one (1) song because I needed to hear Jongho sing Everything unfiltered and I wound up losing my hearing in one ear for most of the next day

Going to a kpop concert was not unlike going to a convention. Everyone was super nice and friendly and everyone was handing out freebies to each other. Some of the freebies were so creative and people clearly spent so much time on them

Ateez themselves were SO GOOD. I'd heard they put on a good show but they were absolutely locked in and focused when they were performing and then having a bit of fun and joking around between songs. Pretty sure this has ruined me for other kpop shows now

The first show I went to I barely took any photos or videos because I was so overwhelmed by them being right there on stage just a short distance away from me. We didn't go for any of the VIP packages because those were all standing only, but we had really good seats all three nights.

They absolutely are that pretty in real life even when they were exhausted and had sweat dripping off them

Even seeing them for 3 shows in a row they changed things up enough that it never felt stale or boring. And they made a real effort to talk about things local to the host city. Jongho and Hongjoong talked about the correct way to make tea, Seonghwa and Wooyoung showed off their attempts at a regional accent. It was all super cute and very endearing

It’s funny I never imagined I would boo Hongjoong but the first night in London when he said it was time for the end of the show everyone booed. I assumed people did that for every show but on day 2 he said he’d been quite taken aback but he was prepared for it this time

(I'M SORRY I BOOED YOU HONGJOONG ILU)

My absolutely favourite thing was someone made some double-sided photocard holders with 'my bias before the show' on one side and 'my bias after the show' on the other side. I got wrecked by a different member each night

Yeosang in particular was an absolute revelation to me. I have a very clear memory of saying OH NO out loud from the moment he introduced himself. I can't even explain it there's just something about him that just grabbed me and held my attention all night

All in all 100/10 would do again

[xxundeadfanboixx]

Dust Mite is also American, and like Sparrow, also spent most of their years growing up on the land of the red, white and blue. However, due to a speech impediment that they have that gives them a lisp, they've got an accent that can be mistaken for a few different things. One of those being a British accent. However, not quite.

When he speaks to the team, sure he sounds normal enough to them, but there's still just something slightly off with how he pronounces his words that makes it not sound just right.

"Why'd you sound like that?" Ghost interrupts Dust Mite's ramblings about something or another. Ghost wasn't really paying attention. More focused on the way the janitor said their words rather than what those words actually were saying.

Dust Mite tilts their head in that signature way that reminds Ghost of a mutt. Brows a bit darker than their light-ashy blond hair knit together with a look of confusion. And an unsure smile pulls at their chapped and chewed on lips. "What?"

"The way you speak, it's weird." Ghost bluntly repeats himself. Even having the gall to sound slightly annoyed with the fact that he's having to repeat himself.

He feels like he was punched in the gut when a look of discomfort flashes across Dust Mite's face. But as soon as it was there, it was gone. Replaced by their usual easy going grin, and a nonchalant shrug of their shoulders. Their gray eyes looking away from where Ghost stood leaning against a wall to instead look down at their scuffed up sneakers.

"Ah, that. No'fing interesting or anything. Just a stupid speech impediment, tongue tied." Dust Mite explains. Trying to laugh it off but it sounds dry and makes Ghost's hands itch. He suddenly felt like he needed to punch something. Or someone.

Now that Ghost knew, it was like he couldn't no longer not notice it. As Dust Mite continued to explain, going on to make a soft joke about how they had hoped therapy had finally fixed him right up and that maybe they should sign back up for classes, Ghost noticed the little extra effort that was being put into some words. Especially the 'r's and 'th's.

Dust Mite fidgets, and not in their usual way, before pushing themselves off of the wall. "I got wowk- fuck, work. I've got work." Something shined in their eyes as the light reflected off of them. Looking glossy. "I'll taw- talk to you later."

"Wait-" But they were gone. Ghost stared at where the janitor once stood beside him. Unsure of how to feel about the vulnerability he felt he had been unwillingly let in on. Like he had unceremoniously ripped away a bandage from a deep and still healing wound. He really wanted to punch something now.

[witchexia]

Every person on this earth is full of great possibilities, that can be realized through imagination, effort and preseverance. -Scott Barry Kaufmann. Ψ

(SIMON GLASS BACKSTORY/LORE) The stars glistened in the sky on July 14th, 1990, as Simon Glass was brought to the world, awaiting an eventful life. Growing up, his parents had always mentioned the Foundation. What is the Foundation? He was told he would know if he was older. That question always lingered in his mind. He would know. At the ages of 14, he has stumbled upon the question of his future - To become what? Psychology's always been interesting for him, since he has always read books on psychology and had only good intentions to helping people. Another reason for this psychology career choice was, because, both of his parents were psychologically unwell. It pained him to see them in such torment. All he wanted was to help people from such misery, and to prevent others potentially going too far. A few years later, in college, Simon is working for his psychology PhD. Though, he has had an interest in joining the Army. He had always seen photos of his dad in tactical gear, so he assumed his dad fought in the military. Though, it didn't really look like your average tactical gear. His dad had strange emblems on his uniform in the pictures, what looks like two circles with three arrows. He has joined the Army at age 20. Basic training in the Army wasn't that horrible for him, so he passed with flying colors. He was now an Army soldier, for three years. Then, his dad had invited him for a little talk. ''Simon, good to see you in one piece, hah.'' He chuckled, looking at his son. ''Have you always wondered, what the Foundation was?'' ''Yes, I remember you telling me that I would know if I was older.'' Simon said, looking around, spotting someone in a suit in the distance. ''Great. I'm just gonna tell you this: Don't. Tell. Anyone. Else. About. This. The Foundation deals with supernatural beings, essentially ''containing them. We've been trying to hide these beings from the public eye.'' ''Huh? Is this a joke?'' Simon said, noticing the person with a suit taking a seat on the couch across him, next to his dad. ''No, Simon. Me and my partner want to give you an offer: a field agent in the Foundation. You see, I've worked the same job as this, but I have retired. It's best in your interest that you think about this for a while.'' The dad then looks up from the ground at him. Then, it all went by fast. Simon now had a job at the SCP Foundation, to be a field agent. This was alot more stressful than his job at the Army. He had to be way more careful, because he wasn't dealing with regular things. He also had to be way more vigilant, because whatever him and his buddies were following, it was not human, and it knew where they were. 4 years into this whole field agent job, something happened. While tracking an anomaly down, it unexpectedly attacked Simon, causing him to have an injury in his hand, vision and hearing problems. This was a huge healing journey for Simon, not only physically, but mentally aswell. After this, Simon retired from field work, and pursued his main dream in life: to become a psychologist. Luckily, with his psychology PhD, and a psychologist needed in Site-17, this was his call. He has spent the next 8 years in psychology, eventually getting a huge promotion, as Head of Psychology. Simon Glass was known to be very kind, gentle and empathetic to everyone, including the anomalies. He has access to every humanoid anomaly's file, ranging from Safe to Euclid, to some Keter anomalies. He has helped countless people and anomalies get past their biggest burdens. He wasn't a corrupt psychologist or a Foundation worker, at all, he really just wanted to help people. That was his duty. Most people or anomalies with free roam go to him for comfort, he has always had a soft and fatherly aura. And so he continues his psychology work, continuing to help.

''Even the greatest minds can be shattered by the enigma of the anomalous.'' - Dr. Simon Glass

[gunilslaugh]

Need Some Help Darling? Epilogue

Kwak Jiseok Summary:Your life after officially becoming Jiseok’s darling. (non-idol au) WC:641 Warning:none

part 1 part 2 part 3

photo not mine credits to owner.

Rolling over onto your side as you wake up from your sleep you’re greeted with the sight of Jiseok staring at you admiringly. 

“Good morning darling,” he tells you whilst giving you a kiss on the cheek. You scoot closer to him on the bed. He takes this opportunity to snuggly pull you against his chest. 

“Good morning,” you tell him back. “Don’t you have work though? You’ve been gone before I woke up this entire week,” you state.

“Exactly, I've been deprived of my morning cuddles all this week.” He wraps his other arm around you and rocks you both side to side. A giggle erupts from your chest making Jiseok smile.

The two of you settle back down with you now resting on Jiseok’s chest as he holds you close. One of his hands absentmindedly runs through your hair.

“Is work tiring lately? Your knuckles are busted again.” You take his hand that was resting on your waist. Gently you run your fingers over his injured knuckles.

“It’s nothing darling,” he replies. Reminding you of the time you spent in his car after he saved you from getting hit by a car. Just like back then Jiseok has never told you exactly what he does for work. He always insists that it’s none of your concern. Most of the time you respect his decision to not tell you, but when comes home with busted knuckles, lips, bruises, other small injuries you can’t help but be a little concerned. 

“You always say that,” you remark. You change your hold on his hand to play with his fingers. 

“Of course I always call you darling, it’s what you are: My darling.” His words bring a smile to your face. You sit up from his chest to face him. 

“You know that’s not what I meant.” You lightly push his chest. Jiseok catches you by your wrist pulling you back down to him. 

“It’s still true though. You’re my darling.” He presses a kiss to your nose. “Mine.” He kisses your cheek. “Mine.” Then the other. “Mine.” He presses a final kiss to your lips. 

“Yeah, yours.” You press a kiss of your own onto his lips. “And your darling does have work soon, so as nice as this is…” You began to pull yourself out of his embrace once more. “I have to get ready for work,” you say. Jiseok pouts trying to reach out for you, but you're faster. 

“Calling in sick is a thing you know,” he suggested. 

“Yes I know, but my team is working on an important proposal, so I can’t today,” you tell him. Jiseok slumped back down onto the bed in disappointment. 

“Can I drop you off at least?” He sat back up.

“If you hurry up and get out of bed,” you said. 

After getting ready Jiseok and you leave the house. He opens the car door for you before walking around to the other side and getting in himself. His hand drifts down to hold yours for the ride to your workplace. “I’ll pick you up after work,” he tells you when you arrive outside of your workplace. 

“When do you not?” you joked lightly. Jiseok always made the effort to pick you up after work, so that he wouldn’t have to worry about you getting back home safely. Your safety was always his number one priority. 

“I love you,” he expresses. 

“I love you too,” you say back, leaning over to peck his cheek before getting out of the car. Jiseok watches as you walk inside before driving off and going to deal with whatever he has to get done for the day. Which more than likely involved being a bad guy to somebody, but Jiseok has proved time and time again that he will never be a bad guy to you.

part 1 part 2 part 3

taglist: @purplelady85 @gingerjunhan @chewednails @ezlynkisses @mon2sunjinsuver @mxlly143 @seungseung-minmin

comment or message me to be added!

[lee-laurent]

Happiest With You - Cole Caufield

Summary: In which Odessa and Cole face some struggles along the way in their relationship.

wc: 1.5k

requested by: @ashes2ashesweallfall :)

contents: fluff, angst, character with hearing aids, character that is hard of hearing, kissing(?)

notes: this was a request! and i really hope i did it justice. this is like two mini fics in one! one of my younger siblings is hard of hearing, so i tried my best to use some of my real experiences to write this. enjoy! and send in more requests :))

Cole could hardly be considered a quiet person. In fact, most of his life was spent surrounded by sound. He was the first to end silence, cracking a joke or laughing when things got awkward. He was always the loudest in the room, all eyes being drawn to him. His enthusiasm for life was practically a force of nature. All in all, Cole Caufield was about as loud as they got.

Odessa Williams was the opposite. She found solace in the quiet moments in life. She appreciated the stillness of the early morning, the way the world felt as the sun began to rise. She thrived in the quiet hours of the day, the hum of bugs at night in the summer, the soft patter of rain on the window as she sat on the couch.

Cole and Odessa could not have been more different. Yet, despite the stark differences in their personalities, they found comfort in each other. Their relationship worked because of their contrasting ways of life. Cole's exburence worked in harmony with Odessa's quietude.

But their different approaches to life also brought along some issues. Issues where Odessa felt her need for quiet time wasn't being met.

Cole was sat on the sofa, laughing loudly into his headset as Jack cracked a joke. He was engrossed in his game of NHL 24 with some of the boys from his USNTDP days. The group of boys had been playing for hours, but they were just as vibrant and boisterous as they were when they started.

"Come on, come on! Pass it! Shoot!" Cole shouted, his voice echoing off the walls as his character on screen raced down the ice. His laughs filling the air again as Trevor screamed at Matt. Cheers filled the room as their team finally scored against the opposing team that was probably made up of 15-year-olds.

In the adjacent room, Odessa sat at her desk, surrounded by the quiet calm that she treasured with her whole heart. She had been working on a project for school, her hearing aids sitting on her bed in an attempt to shield her from the noise. But despite her best efforts, the sound seeped through, breaking her concentration and heightening the stress she was feeling.

She glanced at her apple watch. It was past midnight, and she could feel her frustrations bubbling over. She had tried her best to focus on her work, but the escalating noise from Cole's gaming was becoming unbearable.

Unable to concentrate any longer, Odessa stood up and walked into the living room, her patience hanging on by a thread. Cole was deeply engrossed by the game, his face flushed with excitement. His friends were animatedly discussing their plays, their voices rising and falling with excitement through his headset. Odessa's entrance, however, was enough to momentarily break Cole's concentration.

"Cole," Odessa said, her voice strained but firm as she approached him, watching as he pushed the headphones off one of his ears. At the same time, she signed, "Can you turn it down? I'm trying to work."

Cole blinked, momentarily disorientated from the abrupt shift in focus. Trying to follow her hands as she spoke. He looked up at Odessa, noticing the tightness around her eyes and the tension in her posture. He immediately felt a pang of guilt.

"Oh, I'm sorry, babe," Cole said, quickly muting his mic. "I didn't realize how late it was or how loud I was being."

"It's past midnight, Cole! How could you not realize?" Odessa's frustration spilled over, her voice rising as she signed along rapidly. "I've been trying to concentrate, and the noise is just... too much."

Cole's expression hardened slightly, struggling to keep up with her signing. "I'm sorry, Odessa. But you know this is how I unwind. It's just a game. You could've said something earlier instead of letting it build up."

"I didn't want to interrupt you," Odessa shot back, switching to just verbal speech as her signing became more agitated. "But I shouldn't have to compete with your games for some peace and quiet. I have a deadline in two days, and this is really important to me."

"And my downtime isn't important?" Cole scoffed, feeling a twinge of defensiveness. "I work hard too, you know. I need this to blow off steam."

Odessa narrowed her eyes, her frustration evident as she continued to speak to him instead of signing. "I'm not saying your downtime isn't important. But it's like you don't even notice... or care how your noise affects me! You're so wrapped up in your own little world."

Cole sighed, running a hand through his hair, "Fine. What do you want me to do? Stop gaming with my friends? Change who I am to accomodate you?"

"No," she sighed, her voice softer but still tense. She struggled to articulate her feelings through just speech, deciding to sign along. "I just want you to be more considerate. Maybe we can find a middle ground, like schedule it so we both get what we need."

Cole looked at her, the tension in the room still thick, "How about this: I'll turn it down and we can discuss a schedule tomorrow. I don't want to fight, Odessa. I just want us both to be happy, baby."

She nodded, the anger in her eyes dimmed but not gone. "Alright. But we need to seriously discuss this. I can't keep feeling like this."

He reached out and grabbed her hand, "I promise, we'll figure it out. I'm sorry for not noticing earlier."

"Thank you," Odessa nodded, her voice finally calming. "I appreciate that."

"Alright, boys. I gotta go for the night," Cole unmuted, throwing a wink his girlfriend's way. She giggled as they walked back to their room. The promise of a better balance in their future now understood. Cole hopped in the shower while Odessa continued her work, feeling a renewed sense of calm knowing they were both willing to make this work, one compromise at a time.

Although their different dynamics could sometimes create issues, there were the moments where Odessa knew that Cole was the man for her. And the movie night he planned one Friday was one of those moments.

Cole had set up the living room with comfy blankets and pillows, dimmed the lights, and prepared some of his girlfriend's favourite snacks. When Odessa entered the room after her shower, she was greeted by the warm lighting and her boyfriend laying on the couch.

"Hey, baby. I thought we could have a little movie night. I know you've been stressed with school," Cole said, signing the words along with speaking them. Odessa's eyes lit up, appreciating the effort he had put into learning her second language.

She settled onto the couch with him, and Cole handed her the remote. "You get to pick the movie tonight." Odessa chose her favourite move, Jaws, knowing that it had subtitles. She adjusted her hearing aids, ensuring they were comfortable, but knowing she could rely on the subititles if needed.

As the movie started, Cole double-checked that 'English CC' was selected. Throughout the movie, they shared the large bowl of popcorn that the boy had made. Laughing at the horrible special effects and overall just enjoying their time together. Cole squeezed her hand as another shark attack happened, their little touch-based communication conveying his joy.

During a quieter moment in the film, Cole turned to Odessa. He tapped her shoulder lightly, their agreed signal for wanting her attention. "I've been practicing my sign language," he said, signing slowly, "I want to show your family that I'm all in."

Odessa's heart swelled at the confession, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips. She responded in sign, "That means a lot to me. Thank you."

Cole grinned so much it was starting to hurt, "How about we practice some?" Odessa nodded enthusiastically. They paused the movie periodically, practicing new words that would show up in the subtitles. Laughing at Cole's mistakes and cheering when he got it right.

At one point, Odessa leaned over and traced a heart on Cole's palm, their special way of saying "I love you" without words. Cole blushed and traced one back on her hand.

As the night progressed, Odessa felt even more connected to Cole. Even more in love with him... if that was possible. The combination of the movie, Cole's efforts to learn sign language, and their special little touches they used to communicate made her feel like they were the only people in the whole world.

"You're getting really good at signing."

"I have the best teacher around," he teased, tracing another heart on her hand.

They sat in silence for a bit, the glow of the TV filling the room. Cole could feel Odessa's breathing slowing as she relaxed against him. He kissed the top of her head, feeling the same way that Odessa had moments before.

Cole carried her back to their room, helping her remove her hearing aids. He plugged them in, giving her one last kiss before climbing into bed next to her. They exchanged tired smiles and with one last squeeze of their hands, Odessa knew that this was the man for her.

[nicolettecallednikki]

Just a small Esteban x Gasly!sister fix that I've been working on for ages for fun. Enjoy 🫶🏼

She'd always had a thing for Esteban. It seemed silly to say, with Charles right there, the Prince of Monaco, Il Predestinato, widely acknowledged hottie, but for Martine Gasly, the only full-sibling of Pierre and the only girl in their blended family, it had always been the slightly goofy-looking dark horse, Esteban. For all Pierre had to say about his complicated past with Esteban, it went double for Martine, who'd seen first hand what their families fighting had done to the two young boys. She'd been helpless to fix anything about their relationship, all her attempts only making it worse.

"It's him or me," Pierre said harshly, once when the two had had a fight and she'd tried to go to Esteban to comfort him. Esteban, who had no one but his parents and a nothing but a motor home, against Pierre and their brothers, Maman et Papa, Antoine and Charles who always, even when he was in the wrong, sided with the blonde, and all his friends at school.

"That's not right," she'd squeaked, trying to stop from crying, "You two are friends."

"Not anymore, sœurette," he said, coldly, "Not ever again."

To this day, the way Pierre spoke of Esteban in the media made her quite anxious. She knew her brother, and knew the longer Esteban stayed silent on the matter the more he'd speak on it, and the more stupid he'd sound. He was getting kind of frantic about the whole thing, fanatical, to the point where even he made note of it.

"I'm talking about him as if he were my girlfriend," he'd stopped himself once, to point it out, his ears tinged red in embarrassment.

It had been years since that final argument, at least the final argument she'd witnessed, and Martine had stood firmly- proudly at times, not so much at others- by her brother's side ever since. Blood was thicker than water, after all, and thicker too, than the pressée they'd all enjoyed as kids together, she supposed.

But when Pierre's move to Alpine was announced, Martine's throat constricted as if she'd lost access to air. She knew Esteban wouldn't want him there, that he'd been pulling, quite publicly, for Mick Schumacher, and she didn't blame him. The picture he'd posted of the two little boys from Normandy? He'd cropped her out, she knew he did, because she had the same picture hidden in the bottom drawer of her desk at home. She'd been at Pierre's other side, even then, but there was no question she was staring adoringly at the brun, as she was prone to in those early days.

It was only when it was announced that Alpine wouldn't allow the Gasly and Ocon families to attend the same races that she was able to take a deep, full breath again. She didn't know what she'd do when face to face with Esteban again, but at least it wouldn't happen often.

It wasn't like she hadn't spent time at Grand Prixs before, but she'd always had the safety net of being in a separate garage from Esteban. When Pierre was at Alpha Tauri, she'd spent plenty of time in the garage, and therefore plenty of time with his teammate, Yuki. Since school had been mostly online after covid she'd traveled more than ever before- the mechanics joked that if she spent any more time hanging around the garage, they were going to make her start doing pit stops with them.

She and Yuki had had a wonderful friendship, and she was the one behind most of those "Yukierre" photo ops. She still spoke to the younger boy sometimes, and his mother had even invited her to stay at the family house during the Japanese Grand Prix weekend.

Somehow, she couldn't envision the same for her and Esteban. Every time they passed each other in the past he'd been polite, too polite. Greeted her like she was a stranger, and just kept walking.

The only respite had been at Anthoine's funeral.

He'd hung near the back of the church, head down, trying to appear shorter than he was in an effort not to draw attention. For Pierre and even Charles, it was never like that. They were very open with their grief, and they had every right to be, but when you're more vocal, people come to comfort you. When you're quiet, you're alone.

So, she'd spotted him there, his once long hair now short and gelled into another sort of helmet. She knew, of course, he'd had a bad season- he was the Mercedes Reserve driver and not racing, all because some boy's father bought him a seat- which Esteban's own father could never do. Then she'd learned the two became friends- something only Esteban could do, would do. For all his brashness and his reputation for fighting, she knew all he really wanted was to be accepted, make friends.

He looked- aside from sad- uncomfortable, in an ill-fitting suit. The sleeves, and probably legs, were too short. Neither of his parents were seated with him, although they had accompanied him, but rather a girl- his girlfriend, maybe? Martine tried not to pay too much attention to who he was dating at any given point it time.

Once they all exited the church, she couldn't stop her feet from going to him, despite what her brothers would say. She'd tapped him on the shoulder, a shoulder much higher than it used to be, and if he was surprised to see her when he turned around, he had the good grace not to show it.

He bent down to kiss her cheek, but she caught him by surprised and hugged him. After only a moment's hesitation, she felt him sink into the hug. She had been almost worried he'd knock her down, but he was so thin! If he had told her he was lighter than she was, she would believed it.

"Esteban," she breathed and he sucked in a sharp breath, "It was good to see you, Titine."

In the days following the Belgian Grand Prix, most of the drivers took off to start their summer break, but a few stuck around the hotel for a couple of days to blow off steam, and Martine elected to stay with them, wanting an inside look at what all mischief they got into and enjoying time with her brother and his friends.

While Pierre took Kika shopping, Martine made her way down to the pool where she knew Charles and Arthur were hanging out. Age wise, she was between the two brothers, but they acted like she was eons younger, still a child- worse than Pierre, at times. She and her mother had long suspected it was because they didn't have their own little sister to pick on. So, in retaliation, she made it her life's work to get a rise out of them, Charles especially.

Speaking of the handsome Monégasque, she sat on the edge of his chaise so he could put suntan lotion on her. His ex had always side eyed them for this type of thing, but Alex took her at her word when she said she had grown up with all boys- her brothers, the Leclercs, Esteban, the Huberts, not another girl among them- and merely needed someone to apply lotion so that she don't burn to a crisp. Kika, she assumed, had probably quietly reminded her that, while WAGs may come and go, little sisters tend to stick around much longer, and it was better for Alex to be on Martine's good side, than against her.

"Oh, Carlos is gorgeous," she sighed dramatically, leaning against Charlie, "God, I always forget how good looking he is. Up close? It's unreal."

"Ma crevette," came Charles response, "I will drown you in that pool."

"Relax, Calamar," she tsked, "You know you're my favorite Ferrari. Plus, Carlos wouldn't go for a girl as young as me, I asked around."

"Who'd you ask?" Charles shot up in his seat.

"Lando," she shrugged, "Figured it was best to go to his closest pal. He said, unlike you and my brother, Carlos likes girls his own age."

"The drowning threat stands," Charles replied, but the flush growing up his bare chest to his neck and face told her she'd gotten him good this time.

A moment later, another thought occurred to him, and he pulled off his glasses to glare at her, "Why were you talking to Lando?"

"He's gotten quite handsome, himself, hasn't he?" she winked, "Grown up nicely, if I may say so."

"You may not," Charles growled and, having had enough of her, promptly picked her up and tossed her into the pool.

From years of experience, she knew better than to shriek or thrash about when being thrown into the pool, as that was just the type of scene the boys were looking for, so she simply plugged her nose with her free hand and accepted her fate.

A second splash followed hers, and when she swam back up to the surface, she was delighted to see it was none other than Lando himself who had followed her in.

"Fancy meeting you here," he giggled. She wasn't sure yet if she liked a man who giggled, but at least someone was flirting with her, for a change.

That night they headed to the club, Pierre leading the way and her following- always following- with Charles on one side of her, his hand at the small of her back, and Arthur on the other. You'd think she was the celebrity and they her bodyguards, the way they carried on, but at the end of the day, at least she never had to pay for her own drinks with this trio. Even if they did make her change out of her first choice of outfit.

After getting settled at their table and getting a drink in her system, she spotted George and Alex- easily seen in most crowds, but especially when surrounded by drivers, who were not known for their height- and headed to the dance floor to join them. She was dancing like mad with Carmen and Lily, just being silly, when she must've danced a bit too close to George, by mistake.

"No, no," he tsked, "None of that. You'll not get me in trouble with the missus, just to needle your brother."

She laughed, but didn't deny it, and Lily leaned into her, conspiratorially, "I can think of someone who'd probably love to do the honor."

She froze for a moment, like a deer in headlights, wondering how Lily of all people- lovely, but not someone she was particularly close to- had guessed about her crush on Esteban. A moment later, when Lando made their way over to them, she let out a relieved sigh, hoping the others were too far gone to notice, and allowed herself to be pulled closer to the Brit on the dance floor, trying for the life of her not to think about a certain other driver.

Lando was a good dancer, and even with no evidence she could guess he was a better dance partner than Esteban would be, all lanky limbs jumbled about. But then again, Lando was the one who kept breaking trophies and things, so maybe he was uncoordinated and Esteban would be a better dance partner. She tried not to think about that.

She never saw him out- maybe Alpine made sure he and Pierre went to separate clubs, or maybe he didn't go to clubs at all, just went home for a quiet night in with whatever girl he was dating- she still refused to learn their names, so that if they were ever introduced she could realistically act like she didn't sit up nights thinking about them, about him. She thought she might prefer that herself- a quiet night in, as opposed to the noisy, sweaty club- but if she was honest with herself, she'd probably just prefer to be anywhere Esteban was.

She knew, psychologically, that she wasn't in love with him- she didn't even know him anymore, not really, not like she had- but was only attached to him because she'd never had closure. She'd been in love- thought she'd been in love- with him for so long, only to be separated and then expected to never speak to him again. Naturally, that did her head in, so of course she'd spent the rest of her life comparing every other man she met to the imaginary version of him she had made up, an amalgamation of his past self, his media persona, and the tortured soul she'd made him into.

Shaking the thoughts from her head, she let Lando pull her impossibly closer.

She awoke in her own bed, alone, having been escorted to her room by Arthur in the wee hours of the morning. Her legs were deliciously sore from dancing, but she was ravenous and headed to the dining room for the buffet breakfast, assuming it would be quicker than waiting for room service.

She did not expect Esteban to be there, a Belgian waffle in front of him, piled high with strawberries and whipped cream. She considered sitting with him, but when he didn't look up from his phone at her, she chose a table across the mostly empty room, instead.

Her dropped spoon clattering to the floor got his attention, though, and his a small, polite smile enraged her enough to make her approach him.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked in French.

"No?" he said, "What made you think that?"

"You don't speak to me," she said, losing steam at his genuinely surprised tone.

"I don't-" Esteban tried and failed to explain, "What is there to say?"

He was actively resisting the urge to untangle her hands which she anxiously twisted and wrung.

"I don't know," she answered honestly, "Nothing. Anything. Like when we were kids, just talk."

"We haven't been kids for a long time, Martine," he said. Esteban was starting to wish he'd gone home- gone anywhere else- but Mick and Lance had wanted to stay and it wasn't like he had a girlfriend to go home to these days.

Just then Carlos entered the dining room, startling them both, and Martine abandoned the thought of eating to run back to her room and wallow.

It wasn't like his sister to miss a meal, even with the hangover Pierre was sure she had- Arthur said he practically had to carry her back last night- so Pierre was mildly concerned when he'd knocked repeatedly on her door, with no answer.

"What's wrong, sœurette?" Pierre asked from her doorway. Once he was sure she wasn't in there with Lando, of all people, he'd let himself in with the second key she'd given him.

"Nothing," she choked out, face first in her pillow, "Please, Pierre, leave it alone, just this once."

"Ma crevette," he said after a long moment. Even though they hadn't discussed it, he knew his sister well, "Is this about Lando or- "

She swallowed back a sob to hastily cut him off, "I'm okay, I promise, I'm just being stupid. I'll be by the pool in a bit."

Her brother pushed on anyway, "If this is because of who I think it is... I am the last one who would want something between the two of you, but if he doesn't see how amazing you are, he's the stupid one, yes?"

"Thank you," she squeaked out, and felt him lean over to kiss her cheek, before leaving the room.

Next, Pierre banged on Esteban's hotel room door, not for the first time in their racing career.

"This is stupid," Pierre sputtered, before Esteban could even register his appearance.

"Excuse me?" the younger man returned.

"I- we don't," Pierre took a breath, "We know our relationship, but even I am shocked you'd treat Martine this way."

"What way?" he asked, exasperated, "I don't even speak to her."

"That's what I mean," Pierre snarled, "What did she ever do to you? She always showed you kindness, even when I asked her not to."

"Pierre," Esteban said slowly, as Pierre was apt to bite off his head at a moment's notice, "I do not speak to Martine, because I do not want to come between you and her. I know you didn't want us to be friends."

"You'd rather hurt my sister than cause an issue between her and me?" Pierre questioned, "That doesn't even make sense."

"Well, if I were to..." Esteban didn't complete the thought, "Wouldn't the first thing you'd do be to tell her it was to spite you? I didn't want her to think I am using her to hurt you either. There was no winning, for anyone, in this situation."

Pierre opened his mouth as if to speak and shut it again, "I don't know what to say to that."

"Finally," Esteban couldn't resist the urge to roll his eyes, "I've managed to shut you up, for once."

That night, as Lando headed to the bar to refresh their drinks, Carlos took his opportunity to take Martine for a spin on the dance floor- quite literally a spin, as he was very gentlemanly about it and didn't grab at her at all.

"So," he said in his thickly accented English, "You and Landito have gotten quite close, no?"

"Yes," she blushed a bit, "I suppose we have."

"You like him?" Carlos asked, "Or you just want a bit of fun while you visit with your brother?"

She clamped her mouth shut, and he assured her she misunderstood him, "I don't blame you for that, that's all I'm saying. Lando, he is a good mate, but... I have sisters, yes? I would not want my sisters to pursue him, you see?"

"I see," she nodded, and something about the atmosphere or the drinks she'd had or Carlos' nature made her almost burst to tell him about her real crush, "Can you keep a secret?"

"Not well," he acknowledged with an indulgent grin, "but you'll tell me anyway. Everyone tells me their secrets, that is how come my hair is so big."

"I can see that," she laughed at his Mean Girls reference- he really did have sisters- before going on tiptoe to get closer to him, "I do like someone on the grid, actually."

He stretched away from her, "Not Charlie, no?"

"No," her nose crinkled and he looked relieved.

"Who?" he asked, and she laughed, "Guess."

"George, Alex, Yuki?" he listed off her brothers friends, and she chuckled, "None of them."

"Someone your brother is not friendly with, then?" his eyes flashed with merriment, and she nodded.

She wasn't sure if he was just being coy by not mentioning himself or if it hadn't occurred to him, since they barely knew each other, but she felt obligated to let him off the hook, "And it's not you, Mr. Smooth Operator."

He clutched his heart in faux hurt, "I am crushed."

She smiled and let the conversation drop for a moment, before he leaned down a bit to give this guess quieter than the rest, "It is Esteban, no?"

She felt herself freeze, but he spun her out and back into his arms while she recovered.

"I told you," he quirked an eyebrow, a wise smiling playing on his overly pretty face, "Sisters. I know how you women's minds work."

She swallowed thickly. While it felt good to finally tell someone her secret, she wasn't sure why on earth she'd picked Carlos, aside from he'd been looking at her with his big brown cow eyes and she'd felt compelled.

Honestly, now that she paused to consider it, he was just about the worst option, as he was close with both Lando and Charles, and therefore her brother, and probably outright disliked Esteban out of loyalty to Alonso. She bit her lip, suddenly stressed.

"Do not worry, chiquita," he let out a light chuckle, dipping her slightly, "Your secret is safe with me."

As vindicated as he'd felt in this conversation with Pierre, both the Gasly's coming at him in one day had Esteban's head swimming and seeing them in the bar he'd purposely chosen to avoid them did not help. The fact that Lando accompanied them and the others was enough to make him order a drink, which he normally doesn't do.

"How's it goin, boys?" Lando had a straw between his teeth and a shit eating grin on his face as he approached Mick, Lance, and Esteban, "Este, you're drinking? Wild night tonight, huh?"

Esteban swallowed thickly, forcing a smile, "Not too wild, I hope."

"Not me," the younger man smirked, "I'm hoping for a wild night."

"Lan," Mick warns, but he continues on, "You must know Marti, from growing up and all? She's great, huh?"

"Martine," Esteban pronounced the name, "Yeah, she's a great girl. She's special, that one."

"And she's hot," Lando added, "Some girls look a too much like their brothers, and it doesn't work, but she's, like, so hot."

"She's beautiful," Esteban took a large gulp of his drink for fortitude, "Be good to her, eh?"

"You too, huh?" Lando side eyed him, and Este froze momentarily, "God, the speech I got from Pierre and Charles was bad enough, what do you people think of me? I'm not that bad, I swear."

"I didn't mean-" he insisted, but Lando laughed it off, "No worries, I don't mind the fuss, it'll only make her like me more, I reckon."

Esteban took a step forward, as if he had more to say, but Lance clapped a hand on his shoulder, just then to pull him back.

"Have a good night, man," Lance said smoothly, "We'll see you around."

"I'm not leaving," Esteban said stubbornly, once Lando had left.

"Is this more about Lando, Pierre, or Martine?" Esteban's eyes refused to meet Lance's, his stare fixed on the dance floor, where Martine was once again with Lando.

"Pierre?" he asked, "What would he have to do with anything?"

"I don't know," Lance shrugged, "Maybe you're taking your rivalry too seriously, unconsciously."

"I- it has nothing to do with Pierre," he shrugged.

"I don't know, she looks happy, Este," Mick said.

"But do you really think she will be happy with Lando?" he question, frowning at the thought.

"No," Mick agreed this thing with Lando was likely a fling. He'd grown up with him, and it was hard to take him seriously in the romance department, "but I think you know it would be... cruel to break her heart, over this kind of uncertainty."

"You think breaking up her and Lando would break her heart?" came the indignant reply.

"He means it would break her heart to go after her and then change your mind," Lance clarified.

The night quickly got out of hand, Esteban's low tolerance for drinking getting to him, with Lando and Martine close behind.

"Mate," Carlos was bent next to Lando's ear, "Come get some air with me."

"I'm in the middle of something," Lando replied, pawing at Martine, who looked drunkenly confused at best and uncomfortable at worst. Behind them, Pierre was seething, only held back by Charles assuring him that sending Carlos to speak to Lando would be better than Pierre embarrassing Martine by breaking up the pair.

"Pierre's gonna put you through a wall if you don't take your hands off his sister," Carlos spoke low enough she couldn't hear, but she could guess.

"Lando, my brother's right there," she pointed out, "And the Leclercs. This is a bad idea."

"Alright, come back to my room," Lando proposed, "So we can have some privacy."

"Mate," Carlos warned, "No chance."

Luckily, the arrival of George, Alex, and the girls gave Martine a plausible excuse to extract herself and distracted Lando enough he allowed himself to be dragged to the bar by Carlos.

Forced onto a barstool and made to drink a glass of water, Lando was pink in the cheeks, flushed from the excitement and likely a bit embarrassed his old teammate was pulling rank on him.

Esteban was further down the bar, not looking too well himself, and Carlos leaned in to speak to him- in Italian or Spanish, Lando wasn't sure, but he couldn't understand it, whatever it was. Esteban replied, gesturing Lando's way and then at the girls on the dance floor.

Wonder what all that's about, Lando thought to himself, returning to his glass of water.

The Spaniard ran a hand through his hair, before patting it back into position, rolling his shoulders back, and ordering himself another drink. It was at times like this that he felt a decade older than his peers, rather than just a few years.

"Martine," Arthur approached the girl where she danced with Carmen and Lily, "All is good?"

"My big, little brother," she explained to the girls, before answering him, "I'm okay."

"Come dance with me," he pouted for effect, "You've been neglecting me all weekend."

She laughed, but complied, letting him pull her a small distance from them for a quiet conversation.

"I thought for sure Pierre's head would pop off," he laughed, "God that Brit has no sense of decorum, in front of your own brother!"

"It's sexism though," she objected, "You boys are allowed to do whatever you want with whoever you want, but I can't even dance with a boy."

"Ma cherie, that was not just dancing," he said, and she giggled into his shoulder, "Okay, you've made your point. Were you sent to bring me home?"

This is how it went, usually. Pierre and Charles got to stay out and have fun and poor Arthur was forced to babysit Martine, which he secretly didn't much mind, as he wasn't too keen of a partier anyway- especially not in the Formula 1 scene, were he was constantly faced with the reminder than he's not one of them.

"If you want to leave, of course I can take you," Arthur said, "but I calmed Charles and Pierre down, so you should be okay."

"Merci," she stretched to kiss his cheek, "You're the best big, little brother a girl could ask for."

"I know," he puffed up his chest, smiling brightly.

He and Martine had only gotten closer when he took up the role of development driver at Ferrari, and she felt less like his brother's-best friend's-sister and more like his own best friend, these days. Enough so that he could tell Lando wasn't the one on the grid she was most focused on.

"Ma belle," he said, taking a chance that she was drunk enough to forgive him if he overstepped, "I am wondering... is all this with Lando worth it?"

"It's no big deal," she said, "We're just having a bit of fun."

"I hope so," he said, "Because I think you're trying to distract yourself from something- someone, and I hope I'm wrong."

"Am I that obvious?" she bit her lip, suddenly feeling tears well in her eyes, "Does everyone know?"

"Surely not Lando," he tried to lighten the mood, "I don't think Pierre and Charles suspect-"

"Pierre does," she admitted, "He said as much earlier today. And Carlos knows."

"Carlos?" Arthur looked confused.

"I told him," she said, wiping at her face with the back of her hand, "Or he guessed, I don't know."

Arthur grabbed her face to wipe her eyes without smearing her makeup more than she already had, "Martine, I've known you a long time, and I know everything that went on with him and your brother, or, if not everything, a lot of it. I just don't think it is healthy to hold all this in for so many years."

"What should I do?" she asked him.

"Talk to him, mon chou," he suggested, "Pierre will forgive you, I am sure of it. And if not, Charlie and I will kick his ass for you."

The breeze was cool against her skin as Martine gripped the railing outside the club, her shoulders tense. After her talk with Arthur, she'd spoken briefly to Lando, who'd probably need to be reminded of the conversation in the morning, before heading outside to get some air.

When she heard the door open behind her, she turned and was surprised to find Esteban, looking at her like he hadn't since he started F1, since all this nonsense with Pierre. She realized she hadn't really made eye contact with him in years, not properly. He was always looking past her, over her shoulder. Now, his eyes were soft, his smile almost shy.

"Don't look at me like that," she frowned, "Like you pity me. Pierre's silly, little sister with her silly, little crush."

"You know I don't pity you," Esteban reached out to touch her arm, "I feel a number of different things, but definitely not pity."

"Why'd you come out here?" she wondered aloud.

"I wanted to talk to you," he said, "You said you wanted us to talk, no?"

She nodded her head, but suddenly found herself without any words.

"I can't tell you how hard it's been to ignore you over the years," Esteban started, "It's only gotten worse now with Pierre at Alpine, and you always so- close, but I swear I never meant it the way you took it."

She nodded, and he continued, "I never thought in a million years that you were- wanting me to not be ignoring you. If I'd known you were interested, in being my friend even, I would've- I didn't know. I don't know, now, what to say. I didn't think this was even a possibility."

"You don't know how long I've wanted to hear that," she was surprised to find her eyes tearing up again, "I didn't think I ever would, honestly."

"Titine," he said softly, the name a relic from their childhood, only Maman and Pierre ever called her that anymore, "I know we haven't been close in a long time, but I would like to get to know you again, if you think you would like that."

"I think I would like that a lot," she grinned and he smiled back as he kissed her.