#these are literally from 2022 wtf.. where did the time go

[sigmabateman]

ray carling as the homophobic dog

[h1biscusgal]

I fucking entered the void.

Long post ahead!

@premiumbitch I owe u every shit wtf, your method was INSANE?

REMEMBER HOW I TOLD Y'ALL IMMA BE ENTERING THE VOID ON MY BIRTHDAY???? I did it, and guys it's literally the easiest shit idk why some people see it as smth big 💀

I didn't manifest anything, why? Because guess it or not I actually just wanted to be familiar with it, I love how I'm slowly knowing everything is mine, and yesterday I didn't want to manifest anything I just wanted to try the void out especially bc I have been studying sm these days, I wanted a break.

Now I've been eating up that mindset that I'm a master at the void, which let's be obvious, everyone is, they just need to get to the point and slowly realize it, it has to click.

Okay I'm going to stop yapping and fucking get into it 👍🏻, either way, yesterday night, at 1:32 AM or smth, after the day turned 6th April, I got in bed and made myself comfortable, and simply told myself I'll enter the void under 5 minutes, which actually and unsurprisingly, it was the case, I used a standard boring ass method too yk, the one where it's usually always what people do.

On my back, started slow breathing, and i set the intention of keeping myself awake when my body sleeps (best advice I got from idk who it helps sm) and then I let myself sink in the bed for some minutes, like I just laid there, and already I immediately was in the SATs.

So naturally I affirmed for the void, knowing I'm already in there, and mf I slipped in there after two or three minutes of affirming, just saying "I am the void." Or "I am in the void."

I think the reason I actually got out myself or sometimes used to slip in and back, is how I immediately focused on my body signs or anything connected me to myself, so I have a note to myself next time, to allow it naturally happen and focus just on the blackness behind my eyes.

ANYWAYS I STAYED THERE FOR LIKE I THOUGHT 2 OR 3 MINUTES BUT IT WAS A WHOLE WHOPPING 1 HOUR TF, and get that, how did I know it's the void? I just wanted to see stars there and I fucking did 🎀

IMMA GO CRY I FINALLY AM THE CREATER OF MY OWN REALITY.

anyone reading this, babes please don't give up, genuinely don't, I've been in this game for 6 years and I know a lot of people that'll leave for this long, saying they have no patience, girly you can do it if I did, I used to be in SUCH a bad place you can't even imagine, I pulled my shit and started living in the end for 2 months (and no it doesn't take two months, I just was stubborn af and kept slipping in and out my beliefs).

Special thanks to them for keeping my motivation up 💗

@joc3lynn @catherineaboutlife @salemlunaa @premiumbitch @prettygirl444sblog @mercifulstate @shimmershifts @littlemissprettyprincess @luckykiwiii101 @carlyshifts111 (I adore her oml her RAS thing? ATE the fuck up)

And of course can't forget @gorgeouslypink but idk if she's here anymore? And every old blog back in the 2022 and 2020, I adore y'all sm even though I don't have your blog's names 😔🎀.

[movedtoadifferentspace]

i shifted last night for the first time in 2 years. . .

MOVED TO @kodtheshiftinggodd !

📌 — QUICK RUNDOWN OF MY SHIFTING JOURNEY

umm so i started on shifttok ( unfortunately) back in like november of 2021, i was shifting to naruto. during like 2021-2022 i had experienced a lot of shifts, ranging from weird realities i didn’t plan on going to, only being there for a few moments, not realizing i was there even though i was there for over an hour, and literally shifting while doing dishes. 🧍

sometime in like the summer of 2022 i stopped shifting doing to being in a relationship with this really cringy dude… who like thought i would disappear out of thin air… if i shifted… ( and some shifttok drama that i got brought into, that’s a whole other story if you wanna hear that, the rundown is i got randomly outcasted bc i had BPD and autistic traits ( literally what they said ) ) yeah not my finer moment. anyways, i also just lost a lot of motivation for it. i still hated this reality but i don’t know, shifting just, idk. it took me just a few months ago to realize that the shifttok mean girls who outcasted me, made me feel like i didn’t deserve to shift in some way. ( when i realized that, i realized how fucking stupid that was )

and so i’ve been really reevaluating my journey, spent a lot of time of shiftblr instead of shifttok, even started my own discord to get rid of misinfo!!! which by the way shiftblr has helped me change my mindset SO MUCH! like i’ve been literally a ghost on here but i adore ya’ll so much !!and basically i feel really confident about shifting. i’ve shifted every time i tried, even though it was a very short shift, i have been practicing manifestation, LOA, & meditation and yeah here we are !

🐇 — THE SHIFT ITSELF

so i read something last night on shiftblr, it’ll be linked here, i already was/am in the mindset of “if i try to shift i’m going to fucking shift” like it doesn’t matter to me anymore, i’m doing it. instead of trying every night, i’ve been focused on trying on weekends when i have no responsibilities and such. though throughout this week i have been practicing my meditation/reaching the void state. SO i saw that post and honestly… i wasn’t really like looking to shift, it was a very impromptu thing. i put on a subliminal [ the one i used ] and i went to bed. i was thinking about one my alt realities a better cr though i hate the term better cr where i live in Oregon, and I am a tattoo apprentice, Levi Ackerman from AOT is the one I am apprenticing for. this is really based on me learning how to tattoo and not having to spend time with the AOT cast while also fighting titans and save the world. while that is great, I wanted something chill SO YEAH. I fell asleep to thinking about that… and I shifted. not to that reality but a weird parallel/version of it?

I did this with my first ever shift too. it was almost like a dreamlike reality, but only subtly. soooo I did reality checks.. and it for sure wasn’t a dream. I lived in the apartment above the shop ( which isn’t what i scripted ) and I went down and just went to work with Levi, Hange, and Zeke. I was really on edge though, like “omg i shifted” “i’m literally talking to Levi wtf” like i had no time to process or ground myself so i ended up coming back. but yeah. that’s what happened and i’m determined to get to this ALT reality. ( not in a rushed way, but a ‘i know im going to get there soon’ way )

anyways, that’s my first ever shiftblr post ahhh xxxx

creds to @jolynesmom for their post that i found

ALSO ANY TIPS WILL BE WONDERFUL, i’m literally always looking for things to improve my journey <3 or new things to try at least

happy shifting <3

[hypnos-tized-ao3]

yknow what I did some more unknown, found some more things. There are still a couple things that I can’t figure out for the life of me (where do the numbers go. what’s file seven. wtf are they saying) but I’ve decided to start sincere deceit. Hoh boy (that is part of my vocabulary now, thanks unknown) that’s way more video game. I think it was maybe made after home? By some of the same people. Anyway imma talk about that now. First settings are sound puzzles, color puzzles, disable addons/tammates. I think I prefer this over the three difficulties home had for puzzles and combat, especially since sound puzzles can be disabled while letting all other puzzles be done. First puzzle in the game took me a few listens to get it, puzzles are maybe a little less frequent but way higher quality. (Btw ive like just gotten out of the smoke mines) Like. Zone ZERO took actual thought and multiple attempts with some of its puzzles, way more interesting than just entering numbers. Also the tutorial was a nice change I think from the standard formula(?). Other things I noticed quickly were the dialogue/general sprite changes, as well as the overall moodiness of the game.

In the intro sequence, blue voice kept skipping over red voice’s dialogue, assuming that was intentional? Anyway from what I know there’s three main paths: red voice, blue voice, other(neutral? player? batter?). A quick scroll through the files reveals over 1000 maps (that’s like. three times as many). Since I’m on Mac I’m using an emulator despite the readme telling me not to (don’t wanna learn how to run a virtual windows machine rn, mac can’t run exe files) and I had to put it in the data folder because in the main one it just gets confused. ALSO this game just seems more recent than the others, on the itchio page there were comments from like 2022. wild

Smoke mines/getting into the meat of things a little paragraph. Design of everything feels Intentional. Puzzles, encounters. I talk to one npc and they’re like ‘everything hurts…’ and I talk to the one next to them and they’re like ‘have you heard of our lord and savior-‘. Curious where this goes. Where the fuck is Zacharie, this might just be me coming from unknown but where did he go. Anyway I found a secret merchant and my first orb. The orb felt actually meaningful since I disabled addons and I’m using multiple items in the mcfucking smoke mines. Also. That jumpscare. What the fuck man. Why. It better have an actual purpose beyond literally making me jump. Like not a major jumpscare just one frame of a face but like. Dude. I wanna be scared from the atmosphere and the potential of a strong encounter, not The Scary Man showing up on screen for 0.0001 seconds. Anyway I’ll keep playing cuz the rest of the games good. Also when I looked at the nothingness for the first time (really the whole opening of the game) and saw the text of the really fucked up zone. Ough. Also is zone zero fucking gone. Don’t answer that. Anyway my first game over was after the burnt elsens in the barn I was running back to heal and a random encounter got me.

Anyway looking forward to more sincere deceit. I’ll probably look back into unknown at some point (I spent a good while reading through the game files and did not in fact figure out wtf I was supposed to do) but do know that I’ve mentally adopted Zack. Yoink. I walk into the final area and Zacharies like ‘who the fuck is that’ and I’m like ‘a smoothie’ (holding a waterbottle with water in it) (new son is getting his first piggyback ride)

I’m sorry if anyone following me expected me to be hinged about anything. I’m not. I’m not sorry. Still mad at Senaca for thinking I had to accept the gift what the actual fuck man no that’s not on me that’s on you dude wtf

[cryptidsurveys]

Monday, March 31st, 2025.

We are all such arteeests. What is something you feel you’re “due for”? A dentist appointment. I can't even remember the last time I had one… Also, I really need to get a new doctor. I haven't been to a doctor appointment since around the start of the pandemic. I just keep putting it off and putting it off.

Is there an aspect of your relationship that other people describe or remark on often, but which you can’t see yourself or which you feel they’re misreading (or you’re confused about why or how you come off that way)?

What is the earliest online space you remember joining/inhabiting? How old were you and what do you remember or miss (or not miss) about that space? Waaay back in the dawn of the internet, there was this kids online chat space called HeadBone. I was probably still in elementary school or very early middle school. I remember one instance of people roleplaying as though we were at some sort of party? And also waiting and waiting on a spot to open up in any of the rooms. There's nothing I really miss about it because it was just cheesy kid stuff.

What is a new experience (or something you haven’t experienced in a while) that you would like to experience again soon? Do you have any plans to do so? Since you also said it could be something I haven't experienced in a while, let's go with backpacking. I'm not in the best shape, but it's not like I was in superb shape for my very first backpacking trip either. I just miss those times with my dad. I wish we could get back into it, but I think he's beyond the point where his body could handle it.

Has a hobby or interest of yours been so obsessive to the point of interfering with your responsibilities or “real life”? I was suuuper internet-addicted as a teen. I would stay home from school just to mess around on Myspace, Xanga, and Vampirefreaks. I mean, there were other reasons why I was avoiding school and I did so before the internet was really even a thing in my life, but yeah. If I stayed home, then that was typically what I would do.

When was the last time you thought about reconnecting with someone? What sparked your interest in doing so? Did you act on the thought? Sometimes I think about going down to the pet shop where I did that work experience in 2022 to see how Roxann is doing. She was a cool woman, a real character. I was still in the midst of my issues and things ended on a weird note, but she really believed in me and saw good things in me when I couldn't. I just want to catch up and tell her how much I appreciated her.

What is something that other people seemingly find emotionally moving that you don’t? What about vice versa? Many things. It's not that I'm never emotionally moved - I certainly am - but when it comes to…idk, broad or distant topics, I seem to have less of an emotional connection to the situation than most people. As for the opposite, I can't really think of anything specific.

What is a revelation/realization you’ve had about someone (a friend, family member) recently? It's been a growing realization that my mom truly does love me.

If you had to reread a book right now, which book would you reread? I am actually rereading a book right now, but if I had to pick a different one, then maybe the Twilight series. Liv and Riley were talking about it the other day (laughing, making critiques, etc), and I was just like…I only vaguely remember it, but wish I could remember more because discussing Twilight nonsense is funny.

Is there a lyric/motto/phrase/quote that inevitably/seemingly goes through your brain at least once a day? It is what it is.

What is a cliche that you truly believe in (eg, that “everyone is good at heart”)? "Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." Lol, I said something impulsive today after spending a long time promising myself I wasn't going to do that. It just slipped RIGHT PAST my filter. Like wtf brain, what in the literal fvck did we just talk about?!?!

How do you typically consume news? Mainly through YouTube or my dad telling me about random things.

[slow-button-off]

I really don't understand what Ferrari's doing. I don't mean necessarily this year, but in general. This new car had to be the great comeback after 2020... 🙈🙈🙈

Last year's car was unreliable but fast as hell and Leclerc loved it. But they changed the car throughout all of last season to make it more suitable for Sainz who kept crashing. Now the car is miles slower, Leclerc hates it, Sainz likes it, and Red Bull is still dominating (we were lucky in Singapore but just because RB did badly, just like last year).

I know you keep saying that the team would never change the car for one driver if it meant it would get slower, but evidence says otherwise. Binotto, the rest of the team, Sainz himself said they worked hard to suit the car to him, and here's the result: the car is OBJECTIVELY slower than last year, and it doesn't suit Leclerc at all.

In Singapore, 2nd and 3rd were faster, we only kept them behind using DRS tricks. Leclerc said from the first moment that it was all planned and his role was to protect Sainz as best as he could. It didn't seem like he was protecting Ferrari, he seemed totally honest (unlike last year, where you could tell he was disappointed and just trying to keep peace).

It seems like Ferrari has chosen its first driver years ago (they even had Leclerc go receive his 2nd place in the championship trophy ALONE) but lack the decency of being honest with us (and possibly with Leclerc as well...).

Sainz's first victory came after 10 years in F1 and Leclerc had to sacrifice his own race to cover him. His second victory, same thing (though less of a shit show since Leclerc isn't running for the title this time). He gets the best strategies, can fight orders (Silverstone'22: "Hamilton and Perez will eat me alive if I try to defend!", so they had Leclerc do it and sacrifice his own race), can badmouth Leclerc and the team without repercussions.

I don't know if it's because Ferrari knows that Leclerc would literally die for them, so they take him for granted, or if sponsors are involved (we all know F1 is a political game and Santander got Kimi sacked for Alonso, it isn't even a conspiracy but a fact, especially in Italy everyone knows:

https://www.tumblr.com/sugar-and-spice-cl/729117320204648448/im-new-to-f1-but-santander-got-kimi-booted-from

(iirc OP is Italian).

I'm not saying I prefer Binotto to Vasseur, because Binotto was completely allergic to taking responsibility for his mistakes... but at least with him the car was the fastest on the grid.

Wtf is Ferrari doing?

The car isn't objectively slower overall. It was slower in qualifying in both Monaco and Suzuka (and maybe somewhere else but I don't remember). The car did get better in certain things compared to 2022 but they also made a lot of mistakes.

The thing is more that in their quest to I guess make Carlos more comfortable while also making the car faster they went wrong and it looks extra bad because the rest didn't get it wrong so they caught up or in RBs case extended their advantage.

Waché RBs TD said that with these cars it's easier to find speed at the front than in the rear. And RB who started with a more rearwards balance in 2022 shifted their balance forwards and their car got significantly faster. Ferrari wanted to shift the balance backwards but doing that and finding speed is much harder according to him. And so I think they thought they could do it but irl couldn't and got it massively wrong.

On Singapore looking at pace as such in Singapore doesn't mean much tbh. Half the race Carlos was going as slow as possible and that only works in Singapore because overtaking is super hard unless you are significantly faster or you do it via the pits and an undercut. Lando definitely wasn't faster overall and the Mercs were faster but they also were on a different strategy and were properly pushing. And with how well Lando did defending the DRS thing wasn't that needed tbh.

The win in Singapore was really important for Fred and his standing in the team etc. RB had messed up and it was THE chance to win and throwing that away would get in the way of Fred getting to properly establish himself in the team. That's why Charles cooperated. Because Fred needed it. Because Ferrari needed it. And the fact that is was Carlos who won doesn't change much.

We're in a throwaway season, there is no need for a proper driver hierarchy atm. But also the way that Fred talks about the drivers paints a different picture. We also know that Charles contract negotiations started early and he has most likely already signed a long term-ish deal. Meanwhile we don't hear anything like that about Carlos and they either actually haven't started negotiations yet or (and) he is definitely not getting what he wasn't which is the same thing that Charles is getting because otherwise there would be no need to be complaining so much and so loud.

I know this is an old ask, but read Charles interview with the race that came out today. He very clearly believe in the project and to me that means he is definitely at the centre of that.

Fred famously left Renault super quickly because he wasn't a fan of the politics. he doesn't like that stuff.

The current car is shit but that it's not shit because of Fred. This season we can only more recently start to judge Fred when it comes to the general operations. This car was designed under Binotto and all Fred has been able to is still push the development which he has done. Ferrari have brought more in general and more effective upgrades this season than last, but this car has some fundamental issues (chassis, suspension etc) that you can't just fix mid season with the cost cap.

The first car to judge Fred with is the 2024 car. And even then because they are starting with a new concept it probably won't start 100% flawless. But this current car is not on Fred at all.

not to mention the race interview again but Charles pretty much says he was ready to leave Ferrari last year and that he believes in the project now more than ever.

I get not wanting to trust Fred but do trust Charles he isn't an idiot.

[jumpscaregoose]

ok I'm finally doing it I'm finally drafting up this post. if you've spoken to me about shaman king literally ever or even followed this blog for more than two days you know this one

goose's Renmei Thoughts™ aka:

(thanks @gelatinous-jellyfish for making me this wonderful image a while back)

(quick explanation for everyone unaware, renmei is the canon relationship between iron maiden jeanne and tao ren from the sk sequels. I never explain this in the post but if you want to read it and don't know that's what this is. also I mention this takei guy a lot he's the mangaka)

so pov you're me circa feburary 2022, currently unaware of the kzb manga ending or sequels because you got into sk 6 months ago and the 2021 anime isn't over yet. you're innocently googling your girl jeanne for idk drawing references or whatever and BOOM autocomplete drops the most confusing spoiler of all time on you

that's how I remember finding out renmei exists, and at the time I'm pretty sure I was like "oh this must just be a popular het pairing from the Olden Days or something it'd be ridiculous if that was-" it was it was canon. cue a terrible amount of suffering april 21st 2022 when episode 52 of the new anime aired and it was what it is

of course I was upset but in an attempt to not be That One Annoying Fandom Person I sat down and thought about it and gave the concept the benefit of the doubt for a bit and now I have a pretty solid idea of how I feel about it. my renmei thesis is basically:

well that could have been a good idea but wow did takei completely fumble it

part a why it's not conceptually terrible: this one's really simple it's just that they're both similar characters. I'm anticipating you the reader have actually read/watched shaman king so I'm just gonna present you with the chart I made a few months back

murderous child -> oh shit -> what now it's quite similar

btw this file was named "the.png". that is such an unhelpful file name I had to DIG to find it. wtf past me

basically if it was actually written properly I think we could have gotten some cool things out of a romantic relationship between these two characters. however

part b: we didn't

my favourite way to describe renmei is that it just wasn't written. because it wasn't. across over 300 chapters of mainline and spinoff manga they have maybe four interactions, three of which were after they were already a couple (and the fourth one is that time she raised him from the dead and they didn't speak. does that really even count?). and those three actual interactions were flashbacks and not... actually important. I think one of them was just about cheese. as a reader your experience is

2 characters who never interacted -> literally what the fuck when did that happen -> she's DEAD???

when my friend was reading the manga I had to tell her to reread a scene because the panel where they explain it is such a blink-and-you-miss-it moment

literally the same pacing and payoff as CANON DESTIEL.

their entire actual relationship happens during the downtime between the main manga ending and the sequels beginning. and I'm going to bring osp into this because I think this graphic is helpful

(side note as I was scrolling through this trope talk I noticed a problem red brings up that does apply to the sk sequels but that's for another post...)

this is from the osp trope talk on sequels, and it shows the difference in Stuff Happening levels between plot time (red) and down time (grey). the issue with renmei is that it is an IMPORTANT PLOT EVENT (two characters with little interaction having an entire love story) that happens during DOWN TIME, when the audience only sees things through flashbacks in snippets. and it doesn't help that we never get any flashbacks to before the event happened, before they got together. it's jarring because the ENTIRE THING happens during down time. plot time 1 (the main manga) ends with no interactions between them, and ONE scene that's supposed to set ren up for getting Straight Married that in my opinion didn't work. because it is stupid. plot time 2 (every sequel manga) starts after jeanne's death. it's literally the inciting incident for red crimson. their entire 7+ year relationship is encapsulated in foggy down time, and we're expected to care.

and this especially doesn't work because we aren't set up to care. again, 1 interaction in the main manga, where they don't talk (but I will go to bat for the inherent intimacy of raising someone from the dead like we could have done something there). it's pretty clear to me from rereading the manga that takei didn't know these two would get together when he was writing it. that one scene I mentioned where he tries to set up ren getting Straight Married? if you've read it you know it's incredibly vague and with how takei wrote literally everything else it sure doesn't work as intended. or I'm too aromantic and yaoipilled to understand his literary genius idk. it's clear from some other missed opportunities that the jeanne part of the equation wasn't exactly planned from the beginning. which is even more insulting tbh

part c jeanne character assassination: out of the both of them jeanne really got the short end of the stick in terms of characterization in the sequels. I say this because I actually really like ren in the sequels I like the way takei took his character, so holy shit does sequels jeanne look even worse in comparison. the whole housewife thing is eeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh, not really a fan of that but I'm also not mad enough to comment. her death I do have some thoughts about. conceptually the beheading herself with shamash thing is BADASS AS HELL and I do like it conceptually, I also know like, the themes. yeah remember that time "atoning for your crimes with your death isn't the right thing to do" was an important part of the plot. TWICE. FUCK THAT I GUESS. there is some equivalent exchange bullshit happening with these two and the continuation of main manga themes and I want it to stop please

part d tao men: one thing I've thought about a lot is Why. why fumble this so badly. why do this at all. what do we get out of this. and the answer is an inciting incident and tao men. and the fumble bag continues because tao men deserved better this is a tao men appreciation account. we could have done some cool shit with his revenge thing but nope fuck that I guess. poor guy

part e contrast: so the sequel manga where renmei is most relevant is red crimson. I absolutely love red crimson I recommend it to everyone. and that's because of jun and pairon (and chapter 9 full transparency). jun and pairon in red crimson have one of the most beautiful relationships I've ever seen. they have an established dynamic and baggage to work through and that's what the manga focuses on. and it works it works really well. however this is also the Renmei Manga, and having most of that stuff right next to jun and pairon just makes it look worse

those are all my renmei thoughts I remembered while writing this post, I think that covers most of it but I may reblog this later with stuff I forgot

[lovemesomesurveys]

What was the year/make/model of the last car you drove? I don't drive.

Have you ever been in weather below 0 Fahrenheit (-17 Celcius)? Gah, noooo thankfully I have not.

What was the last thing you used your phone for, besides calling/texting? Ha, it's rare that I'm using my phone for actual phone things lol. Anyway, I'm pretty sure it was TikTok.

Do you have more male or female coworkers? I don't have a job.

Did you enjoy high school? I liked some parts of it. Like, I actually enjoyed the pep rallies and assemblies. Honestly, while a lot of it truly was tough and I'll still stand by that, I think as I've gotten older and looked back some of the stuff maybe wasn't so bad after all.

What's an unusual food combination you like? I haven't had it in so long, but I actually think adding mayo to ramen is good.

What's the longest stretch of time you've spent completely alone? Just like half a day.

Have you ever lived in a studio apartment? No.

Did your parents allow you to drink soda when you were a kid? Yeah.

Do you always check the prices of things when you buy groceries? Of course. I don't have money coming out my ass. However, I do sometimes randomly throw stuff in, but it's a snack or drink and I know it doesn't cost much.

Do you like gyoza? I've never had it.

Have you ever been in a situation where you needed a lawyer? No.

Do you use Instagram? If so, what's your current profile pic? Very, very, very rarely. I don't even spend much time on it scrolling through my feed or watching people's insta stories. I just posted something for the first time in a few years for my birthday.

Did you ever go through an emo or goth phase? I had my emo phase when I was 16, but let's be real it was never just a phase.

What are your thoughts on kids being given iPads to keep them entertained? I don't see an issue with it. However, I personally wouldn't use a screen as a babysitter and I'd set limits to screen time. Otherwise, I definitely see the educational benefits. It's just wild how kids literally come out the womb nowadays knowing how to use a tablet or phone like wtf.

Do you get regular check-ups with your doctor? With one of my specialists, but not my primary doctor.

What was the last thing you felt apprehensive about? I'm apprehensive about everything.

How many nights per week do you cook dinner at home vs. going out to eat? I personally don't cook, so in that regard zero. As for how many nights I eat at home vs in my case how many nights I get takeout, it's something like takeout 4-5 times a week.

What's a trend you've seen recently that you thought was really dumb? I will never understand the whole Crocs trend or the little charm things you put on them. I just can't.

Do you know anyone who has been evicted? Not to my knowledge.

When did you last wash your sheets and pillowcases? A couple weeks ago.

Have you kissed more than 10 people in the past 10 years? I've only kissed 3 people total.

Have you ever been caught outdoors away from shelter during a thunderstorm? Gah, yes. I was at an outdoor festival and it just randomly started POURING. It was crazy.

Did you leave the house before 10 AM yesterday? I didn't go anywhere yesterday.

What's your favorite macaron flavor? The Fruity Pebbles one.

How often do you have friends over to your house? --

Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally?

How many times have you stayed at a hotel in the past year, and where? I last stayed at a motel in March of 2022.

What kind of technological advancements do you expect there to be 100 years from now? >> I can't fathom this

Have you ever done a flip on a trampoline? No, I can't go on a trampoline.

What about a flip off of a diving board? I can't do that either.

What was the last hot beverage you had? Coffee.

[lumirimay]

jm is pretty much the only one I care about but a lot of pjms are pretty detached from reality. a lot of them let their wishful thinking become their reality and sometimes I read shit they write like wtf are you even talking about. like here on tumblr, pjms are convinced that the members and hybe don't care about the group anymore and are basically going to just do solo stuff. their reasoning? the fact that sj and jh are doing solo activities right now and that festa a focused on the two of them LOL. are they just supposed to sit around and twiddle their thumbs until a group comeback is ready? why wouldn't hybe utilize the two discharged members for the anniversary? they don't even realize how nonsensical they sound. the funny thing is, if hybe forced the soon-to-be discharged members to join festa activities on the day of their discharge, they'd probably be the first ones screaming about mistreatment for not giving them time to rest or reintegrate. no matter what hybe or the group does, its sign that the group is falling apart and jm is definitely leaving hybe to them, which I'm sorry, is laughable. they can't tell the difference between what they want for jm and the reality of what he wants or at least chooses.

that scooter tweet is dumb as hell too. literally what do they gain from scooter by mentioning THEIR OWN BANDMATE of 12 years? just laughable. the member aren't allowed to even mention jk now without it meaning they're on their knees, mouth open for scooter? I don't get why pjms feel the need, its not like any of the members outside of jk are even comparable to jm's solo success, so like maybe stop feeling threatened enough to make up that kind of out of touch shit? pretty sure sj keeps mentioning jk, both because he misses him because they seem genuinely close and also because he's just now having to do full solo promotions that the rest did before enlisting and I think he misses the ease of having someone to mess around with to entertain fans and create and easy atmosphere, like a security blanket.

I wish pjms would just focus on jm and stop spewing dumb insecure shit or projecting their wishful thinking onto real life. every day, he's making new achievements and we have so much to appreciate about him and yet a lot of these blogs are just full of them talking about the other members, scooter, and how the group is definitely failing. I'd love to have a nice little group that I can follow to enjoy jm that aren't just update accounts, but most pjms have completely turned me off. I want to be surrounded by jm, not 50+ asks talking about how another member is flopping or giving updates on scooter.

I feel similarly. I’ve always been a Jimin stan even in my army days, but past 2022, he’s the only one I’ve kept up with. I feel pretty indifferent to the other members. I think they all have different artistic visions, and that is fine. It may not be my taste, but that doesn’t matter bc I love and enjoy Jimin’s music. I trust that he’ll continue to stay true to his own artistic vision, and not let others take creative control of his music.

As for Pjms, I do think there’s a fair bit of wishful thinking involved. But I also empathize with them, because at the end of the day, I think their hearts are in the right place? We all ultimately want the same thing for Jimin: to see him thrive, to get the kind of opportunities that truly showcase how insanely talented he is, and for everyone to finally see what we’ve always known—that he’s a star.

Having said that, I’m really not sure where they get this idea that jimin is going to leave bts. That will never happen. How pjms feel about the group is clearly not how Jimin himself feels about the group, and that should be obvious with how he continues to talk about the group and army. Bts as a whole will never disband. They may eventually become like shinee and BP, everyone focuses mainly on their own projects, and they will have comebacks every once in a while. Also, I know we all have a bone to pick with BH and BPD when it comes to jimin, but I don’t know if he will leave the company even for his solo career. Even though he has all the resources to do so and the BP girls all did it with arguably far less promising careers than jimin. But I don’t know, I guess only time will tell.

I agree that the discourse about bts sucking up to jk bc of scooter is very stupid. Also, if it’s true why do they care so much? Is it bc they also want this for jimin, for the members to suck to him? Why does jimin need their validation or anyone’s? He’s breaking records everyday. Look at all the projects for his return, he is insanely popular, and well loved. Yeah, it would be nice for the members to support his music the way he does with theirs but he doesn’t need their validation, ever.

I find the whole discourse about jimin on all sides very exhausting. It’s why I left stan twt, and now only check occasionally to know what’s going on with him. But even today when I had a quick Look, there were some beef with jjks about the funko pop, and who has more banners and projects. So I hide here bc my days of getting into such trivial silly arguments on stan twt are long behind me. Thankfully.

[beatlblog]

i hope john bullied him (via @themagicalmysticalboy)

“Oi Paulie... wha’s on yer fookin face then?”#I hope John made fun of him#god#wtf (via @starseeker95)

#HELP#paul god what was that phase (via @mrlennonmccartney)

#if john still wanted him while paul looked like that it was true love#john's taste was so varied and dubious that i don't put it past him at all#but what a downgrade bc john looked great (via @stewy)

#hot take: this is the reason john decided not to work with paul after all#'if your music sounds anything like how your mustache looks i want no part of it' (via @paulnnccartney)

Knowing john he was like never mind my love you look so cute😍🙈😂 (via @mclennongirl15)

#i cannot imagine what was going through johns head when he saw him looking like that (via @harrisonism)

#imagine this outfit being the reason the beatles never got back together#john was like i'm gonna need about 6 years to forgive you for this 😂 (via @whoscruffylooking)

It’s okay because that look is 💯 on my wife.#I love that horrible facial hair#that first time drag king look (via @winston-legthigh)

#I feel like this is how John expected fashion disaster Paul to shown up#imagine just looking hot and hanging out by a pool#that’s them! (via @asphalt-cocktail)

#I respect it tho (via @lennons)

#john was just like ‘finally the inverse of all those years where I was pining and you looked amazing’#it’s just such a bad look#what WAS he thinking#definitely not what he needed to be which was ‘I look a complete twat’ (via @drivenalphabitchpaulmccartney)

2022

#the cunt paul is serving is like#fancy health food store cunt#but it's been expired for 3 years#it smells like fridge and patchouli and b vitamins and weed#john however is immaculate#god literally invented high waisted flares just for him#john and paul#my boygirlfriend john lennon#i would literally commit atrocities to know what john thought of how he looked here (via @wereonourwayhome)

#this actually changes everything i thought i understood about the 70s J&P vibe#also new questions arise about Paul's chest hair and the lack of it prior#only the important things#new podcast episodes#Paul's worst look and chest grooming#paul mccartney#john and paul#OH NEW HOT TAKE#this was 100% done intentionally to make sure they didn't bang#it was such a danger Paul took one for the team#and by took onei mean he prevented any taking from being done#dammit I'll probably write that fic#5 times John and Paul didn't bang (via @mydaroga)

#this is why he didn’t go to new orleans#:/ (via @goldslick)

SAD!

John Lennon, upon seeing Paul again in 1974 looking like that:

#john lennon#the beatles#shitposts#im sorry I thought of it then had to get it out (via @queerlennon)

#absolutely cursed#paul ruined his chances by choosing this moment to try a new form or drag that did NOT work for him (via @ahumoroussuggestion)

#absolutely dying#literally too much#the ultimate moment of seeing an ex who broke your heart after a few years and being like……oh#THAT’S who all the fuss was about???#(except from May’s account of that time it seems like the chemistry was still popping off somehow???)#which like talk about true love#being able to get past THAT#I kind of think that Paul was finding it fun to make himself look as gross as possible#relishing in it#after so many years of his looks being held up and scrutinized#to just be like oh yeah? watch this#kind of typical paulish rebellion (via @hands-across-the-skysky)

#divorce babe (via @pennielane)

#watching this post go through its villain arc has been such an experience great work guys#and by great work i mean im deleting tumblr (via @mystical-one)

He really has some balls, turning up like that.#mullet moustache and horrible thing on his chin#his fashion sense seemed to leave at the same time as Jane did#was he her Ken doll (via @beatlepaul4ever)

#honestly he still looks kinda hot#that wouldnt cure me (via @zutalorsihavemissedone)

Actually, it could maybe have been worse - he could have turned up with this look.

I can’t decide if it’s a real moustache or that horse face planted him in some muck. (via @beatlepaul4ever)

Why does he look like Paul Prenter? (via @bewareofdarkness)

#HBFJRBFHIRBFEKLFR#i think i would have just left#maybe that's why john thought he needed to be taken down a peg#'all you do is write love songs' like it was gonna hurt him#make him rethink his look#last time john hurt paul -- the man grew a beard (via @writertyper)

People ask why he didn’t go to San Francisco with him and the answer is this (via @yellowroombarine)

#this will forever make me mad at him#like this was the last photo documentation of them together#and that’s what he looked like#why (via bridgeoverstrawberryfields)

#REAL#FELT#some tiger king bullshit💀#I’m kinda with it tho💀💀 (via @iamsigningmylifeaway)

2024

#fr WHO lied to paul and told him this is a good idea (via @comradeharrison)

#as someone who thinks that 70s paul is the most ethereal indescribably beautiful person in the world#he looked soooo like shit during their reunion im ctfu#the dash of beard. horrifying (via @bugpoasting)

#if you genuinely think that John wasn’t absolutely attracted to Paul’s hillbilly porn star look than idk what we’re doing here#that sun tan and rat stache 100% did it for him (via @lennonsfag)

#I understand where everyone’s coming from but you’re LYING to yourself if you think John wouldn’t be into that#It’s Paul fucking McCartney he could show up bald with a beard down to his shoulders and John would get all hot and bothered over it#Paul has nothing to worry abt so why not pull up to the function looking like a porn star with the white Karen capri pants and all (via @iwannabeyourman)

#I’m sorry but he literally looks insane#mostly thag hair sticking straight up (via @sleeper9)

#I still think that's such a power move on Paul's part to be honest#Is he sliding his index finger into the fold his wraparound vest there?#“I know you want me. Even like this”#Paul's arm hair#Paul's...chest hair?#paul mccartney#Meanwhile John's showing off his hips bulge & thighs in May's jeans#they deserved each other (via @crepesuzette2023)

#i imagine he immediately got cured of homosexuality#if not... john please. put your glasses on (via @estrangedfiances)

#nooo he was so into it#his prissy princess suddenly looks like he’s into complete filth#john’s wildest fantasies suddenly seem possible (via @goldslick)

#and john was cured of his life long crush as soon as he opened the door#i actually hate that the bottom one is the last known picture of them together (via @the-electric-monk)

#ok i think this moon is hot i’m SORRY#like he looks so slutty he knew exsctly what he was doing#open shirt? gay little mustache? shoulder length shag?#the chest hair?????#paul was trying to ensnare him fr (via @gayyytripper)

#scream#once again mccartney was ahead of his time (via @oldmanpusspuss)

#when your ex shows up looking like a cartoon evil man (via @bambi-kinos)

#this is Kurtis Conner lmaooo goodbye (via @maelwife)

#I mean you know… I’ve grown partial to his pornstache and yes even the mullet#so idk probably I would still dig it (via @tenitchyfingers)

#tbh it’s not a bad look but it’s ugly when he does it (via @strangebrew)

only accurate take

#normally i run screaming seeing 70s paul#but this look?#*chefs kiss#what a power move (via @consulting--defective)

#john y paul#jp en los 70s#pues si (via @akamy08wt)

#did he dress like that on purpose with the goal of attracting or scaring him? we will never know#im soft for paul 70s mullet not so much for the moustche (on any period) but the clothess#mclennon#you cant have 67 without 74 last meeting (via @alienoriana)

#I've always kinda liked the mullet (yes yes something's wrong with me)#but I just can't get behind the mustache on him. I'm sorry#I kinda unironically want that shirt too#at least it has colour unlike most of the stuff people try selling you these days (via @chut-je-dors)

#i can tell u now i am infact a bisexual who is infact attracted to this look#hes committed to the bit (via @mcstarr)

#I don’t think I can get over that little bit on the chin#and the mustache too but yeah that’s where I just I don’t think I can but… put me and him in the same room and I might feel differently#cause of his energy#his physical presence (via @johnisonlysleeping)

#predicted bisexual twink fashion (via @therealestwizard)

#I think the Only downfall is the Kind of mullet here that type of mullet is out#it has to be just a little shaggier#but otherwise yeah this is just some dude at a club now (via @menlove)

#KURTIS LMAAOO#its actually kind of horrendous but i couldnt do any better (via @xtreme-cringe)

#and anyway we all know john would be totally into it dont kid yourselves (via @oldmanpusspuss)

#I could never transition because this is what I would slowly animorph into (via @asurrogateblog)

#it is still not a look and ladies pls know i will never eve date a man with this moustache and that shirt#but op. you aint wrong (via @phonybeatlemania)

#it’s called ✨️fashion✨️#what was 70s fashion even#“fashion” according to mccartney (via @lilywolfgray)

Can you imagine being John Lennon in 1974, and you’re about to see your ex-best friend/pseudo husband/songwriting partner for the first time in years, plus its a really big moment cause you’re tentatively thinking about working with him again, then the motherfucker shows up looking like this unironically:

[beanybean5000]

wrestlemania 39 (2023)

saturday

suck it: 4

michael cole ‘unloading’: yall i literally swear someone told him in the past that i was gonna be here doing this, bc why would he leave me hanging like this, michael i thought i knew you

—john cena vs austin theory, us title. more like austin Thiccums, amirite? 👀

—men’s fatal four way tag team match: that shit was craaaazy

—seth rollins vs logan🤮paul. the orchestra conductor for seth’s entrance. he shoulda kept that harness on. pissed that logan🤮 is a good performer, bc i fucking hate him. seth killed it, as usual

—becky lynch, lita, trish stratus vs. damage control: noiiiiice. when are they gonna kick bayley outta damage control, i’m sick of her and i love dakota and iyo

—rey mysterio vs dom mysterio. nooooo, bc i hate to say it, but dom actually looked so good. DAMIAN WITH THE BRAIDS. why is this the best match of the night so far? dom’s in ring work is getting so much better (i’m sure it also helps that, hello, in case you missed it, that’s his dad)

—charlotte flair vs rhea ripley, smackdown women’s title: charlotte with the puffy ballgown coat. wow wow wow, as expected, match of the night, loved them both getting crazier as the match went on

—pat mcafee vs the miz. yall can never make me hate the miz, and you could never make me care about pat mcafee like michael cole does

—the usos vs sami zayn & kevin owens, undisputed wwe tag team titles: bruh when sami and jey almost kissed 😔. obviously this match was good, but i do wish charlotte and rhea were the main event

sunday

suck it: 0 😔

michael cole ‘unloading’: again, ZERO! bout to start counting how many times he says ‘goodness’ instead /hj

—brock lesnar vs omos. this was my poop break, my partner said it was cool when omos threw lesnar across the ring

—women’s fatal four way tag team: shotzi, natty, chelsea, and sonya all looked sooooooo good. my partner said, “ronda rousey always looks like she’s about to piss on people.” shayna deserves so much better than to be chained to ronda, like wtf. ending was bs. y’all gotta stop making shotzi tap out, shoulda had natty get the double tap out on sonya and chelsea

—gunther vs sheamus vs drew mcintyre, ic title: drew in the white? 👀 we haven’t had a ludwig announcement in a while, so i’m glad they brought him out to do it. having titus on commentary was fun. sheamus literally had the people on their feet MULTIPLE TIMES and yall still tryna keep this belt from him, yall pissin me awwwwwwff!!!! every time they mentioned that he’s never won it, it made me more mad

—bianca belair vs asuka, raw women’s title. aaaaasukaaaaa. the divas of compton for bianca’s entrance 😭😭 i love bianca, but i was sooo ready for asuka to win.

—snoop dogg getting the miz was so funny, they did well recovering from shane getting injured. also, this was probably funnier than whatever they had planned tbh. snoop dogg winning a match and holding up his belt? i mean, come on.

—edge vs demon finn balor, hell in a cell. i don’t have a lot to say, but this was really good.

—roman reigns vs cody rhodes, undisputed wwe universal title: the person w the ‘overrated’ sign while cody came out. there were a lot of intimate touches going on 👀 i just personally do not care about cody finishing the story. good match tho

night one was definitely better than night two, but this whole show was better than the shit they gave us @ wrestlemania 38 (2022). and where was charles robinson all weekend? 😠

[diaryofageminivenus]

slut me out - nle choppa

let me tell yall about that one time where i was slutted out.

august 2022, two days before i was about to go off to college, me and swimmer made plans to see each other. i didn’t know how often i was going to come back home (turned out to be very often), so i just told him we should see each other before i leave. mind you, things were just getting better. we were about to be in that stage of calling each other bf & gf, but we were still friends with benefits at this time. we agreed to meet each other for one last rendezvous, he picked me up from my house and we were otw to his house. on the way there, he was just telling me how much he would miss me, how much he would miss cuddling with me, having sex with me, watching movies, and other things. when he was saying all of that i felt a little bit sad about leaving him, i didn’t know if those college guys were gonna compare to him and his third leg. i was wondering if guys were as intimate as he was, were they going to affirm me in bed like him? were they just gonna nut and leave? idk but these thoughts came and went in my head. we then arrived at his house and nobody was there, i was honestly happy because now i can just moan as loud as i want to.

when we got to his bedroom, we were deciding on what to watch all of a sudden. then he told me about this movie called “don’t look up”, i didn’t really care what we watched because we weren’t even gonna watch it. he put it on which was a nice background noise, but from the little glimpses i did see, it was good. anyways, we’re just chilling for a minute, then all of a sudden this man pulls out a bag of pills. y’all i was about to leave, i was like “omg wtf?”, he said “chill, they’re stamina pills”. to this day, i still am confused on why he truly needed the pills, only because he’s pretty in shape and young. he popped one of them, and two minutes after taking it he was just hard, mind you i was fully clothed. he came up behind me and started cuddling me, then i felt his dick brush up against my butt. idk if i told y’all, but this man literally has the biggest dick, i wear a 9.5 and his dick is like an inch bigger than my foot. it had a downward curve too 🥹, damn i miss it. anyways let me quit getting side tracked. as he brushed against me, he whispered in my ear “i’m tryna feel what’s in those shorts” . damn i melted for a second, then i grabbed his hand it put his fingers inside me. i was soaking, he started slowly fingering my and started softly moaning. he then whispered “baby, you’re so wet”, i followed it up with an agreeing moan. i then turned my head towards his and grabbed his chin so that he can kiss me. we were kissing for a minute then this man pulls down my shorts and sticks his dick inside of me. he put all 9.8 inches inside of me, i felt this force come from behind me i just loudly gasped. he then put his hand around my neck and i grabbed on so that he could keep his tempo. he was a very sensual lover, he enjoyed going slow, he wanted me to feel every stroke, he took his time with me. he was going slow and telling me things i wanted to hear. “that’s it princess”, “i love how you take that dick”, “you feel so good”, oh my gosh. i was pulling away because he started going faster, he pulled me back in “unuh”, is this man really telling me i can’t run? i then pushed him off and told him to change positions, he pulls me up and pushes me down into backshots. he starts teasing me by rubbing the top around, he puts the tip in, then takes it out and starts teasing me again until i just put it in for him. he was going slow, then he put the leg up, when he did that, he pushed my back down which caused me to start pushing my legs down. he pulls me back up and i raise my head because he was about to hit my cervix. he then grabs my neck and he starts kissing on my neck and kissing me, i grabbed his free hand it put it on my boobs then he starts playing with my nipples.

we were in backshots for a minute then i say “let’s do something else”, after that he flips me on my back and i’m at the edge of the bed and he’s standing up. y’all already see where this is going, he puts it in and starts taking me on my one way to pound town. he starts going faster the more i moan, im encouraging him to go faster at this point, then he just starts going slow which threw me for a loop. at this point im a little tired of going slow, so i pull him on me and i say “lemme ride you”. he stopped and layed on the bed, i saw his dick and was like “hmm…..”, i just wanted it in my mouth. i start spitting on it, then im looking at him look at me, i start eating man. i talking about eating this man sloppy, i was gagging on it, blowing bubbles on it. i was making love to it, i felt like i had to give him my best before i left. then he pulled me up and placed me on his lap, he pulls me in and starts kissing me, spit still on my chin and lips. i then lift myself up and start riding him on my toes, he got almost 20 bounces out of me till i went on my knees. i was riding then i grabbed his hands and he started guiding me at his tempo, while he was guiding me he was also gripping my ass. i was just looking him in his eyes, asking him if im doing good and he assured me i was doing amazing. “baby, yo pussy is so good”, “imma miss this pussy”, “don’t give my pussy away”. then he pulled me off him, he thought he was gonna nut, but he didn’t so i’m confused on what we could do now.

this is where things pick up and start getting better, all of a sudden, it starts to rain and we just hear thunder and heavy rain. i think this is what led this man to just unleash a new him. this man comes up from behind me and pushes me against the wall. he plays with my coochie for a second and puts his dick inside of me. i was on my toes tryna meet his level, but he told me to relax. he he was going fast at this point too and i was just moaning uncontrollably, then he puts his hand down there and starts playing with my clit, i felt myself squirt a little but nothing too dramatic. we go at this for a second until i push away from the wall. when i push away from the wall he pushes my head down and starts drilling me from the back. i’m yelling at this point, im just saying “omg”, “fuck”, “ooooo right there”, or i’m just mumbling sounds. he grabs my hand and holds them while he’s just in it, he tells me to shut up which is hard to do at this point. i’m moving my legs like i have to pee, my knees are coming up, my feet are cracking, y’all i felt like i was about to nut and pass out. i didn’t pass out but i did nut. then he leads me to the bed and kisses me, pushes me down and starts sucking on my nipples, i don’t think he truly enjoyed sucking my nipples because at that time i has piercings in. then he starts eating me out, although he wasn’t my best eater, he was still up there when it came to it so i won’t go into detail about it. he then gets up and tell me to turn around, we do backshots again, except this time he’s standing up which i just already knew was going to finish me. i put it in, and start going at my pace because i already felt that he was gonna wanna finish at his pace. i start off slow, he’s just back there moaning which encourages me to start going faster. then he just takes over, and i just start scooting away from him. we ended up in collapsed doggy (doggy, but i’m on my stomach), he starts going in and i just have my head off the bed in shock. i start coming up and he just starts kissing me and moaning in my mouth. i melt instantaneously, then he has a few more strokes then he pulls out and nuts on my thigh. after that we cuddled and talked, he really wanted to know my plans and how i would execute them. one thing about him, he cared about my future more than anything, he told me some great advice and reminded me to have fun in college but be aware. after the rain calmed down, he took me home. when i got to the house i look in the mirror, and it’s the DARKEST hickey on the side of my neck. i’m pissed, i text this man mad af, his response? “surprise 🤭”, i wanted to beat this man so bad. i had to go shopping &&&&& meet with my advisors. i do miss the dick

[mydearselff]

Something hot about babes waking me up pissed off questioning me about some things he had seen on my phone. I woke up fucking confused cos I didn’t know wtf was going on. he asked me so many questions after questions and things were being said so fast. If I haven’t had brought him to the room twice I’m sure he would have just stayed in the living room sleeping on the floor. Only thing I was upset about was the fact that he said he wouldn’t go through my phone again. Literally told him, that if he wanna go through my phone that’s fine. Just ask me, don’t go snooping- it’s disrespectful.

The next day I did my under the stable job and he told me he had gone to Costco without me. I was low key hurt because he knoooows I love going to Costco, so the fact that he didn’t wait for me made me feel like he just dismissed me completely. When I came home from work he was in a better mood then how I left. Which was surprising because the way he said “we need to talk when you get home” made it feel like I was gonna get a whooping. He also surprised me with flowers!! Which (I’m pretty sure) was his way of saying sorry. He was hoping I’d say sorry but there was nothing for me to be sorry about—he went thru my phone. I was however sorry that I didn’t consider my 12am phone call with migs. But to be fair I did ask babe if I could talk to him at that time of the night ANNND I was gonna be in our room cos there is literally nothing to hide.

I now do agree, that It’s not right to have someone that I had a past thing/whatever with to be calling that late. But I truly don’t have any intentions with him. He was hurt bc of all people I messed with why keep him. So now I see where his emotions was taking him. But babe if only you knew how much I love you, you would know that there is nothing between him and I. Like I’ll drop my calls and text with him and keep it between xbox which im barely ever on. Last time was nov 2022😂

That night we had some good bomb ass drink sex. He made us fish and we took shots of effen. After our sweaty sex we took our first shower together. Low key had sex in the shower but I was getting cold from him turning off the waters so I didn’t enjoy it too much. But it was fun:)

Today 9/4, we bought a couch. A little bumps along the way but we compromised some things and it’s all okay now

[semiotomatics]

yeah okay lets talk abt this (sorry it got long i needed to vent lol)

okay so. the basics: started getting pretty severe back pain in 2013 when i started having to stand for 8 hours at a time at my job. ended up getting a workers comp claim filed and going to physio, where they taught me some exercises to strengthen my core/other muscles + got those like, deep tissue/pressure point massages w heat or w/e. but the workers comp only lasted like a couple months or smth so i stopped going after that

fast forward to summer 2015 n im at a local street festival n a chiropractor is offering free x-rays + consult for ppl experiencing back pain. well! i absolutely was still experiencing back pain! so i got said free x-rays n at the consult learned that i had 1) scoliosis 2) a tilted pelvis and 3) an extra lumbar vertebrae. he (ofc) recommended i start getting treated by him but a) my medical at the time didnt cover chiropractors and b) iiiii didnt really have the best opinion of chiropractic uhhh anything xD so i declined

over the next seven years my back pain got worse and worse, and i developed pain basically throughout my entire body, with the worst of it centring around my lower back/knees/ankles/feet. in late 2020 i finally got fitted for custom orthotics during which the...guy-who-gets-you-fitted-for-orthotics noted i had "some of the flattest feet he had ever seen" (possibly also some of the most flexible ankles he had ever seen as well, i cant remember lol). i already knew i had flat feet (obvs) n suspected my ankles were fucked up but it was v validating to hear him confirm that both of these things would increase my chances of experiencing back/knee/ankle/foot pain. unfortunately, i got those orthotics shortly after getting laid off from work n ended up not working again till almost a year later so i wasn't really able to like, test them out for a while, and by the time i did and found out they didnt really help, my free adjustment period had ended :(

alongside the chronic back/joint pain i also started experiencing sciatic nerve pain as well as routinely "throwing out" my back (idk if i pinch a nerve or tear a muscle or what but im basically bedbound for like. a week or more and if i move or use that muscle at all its the most excruciating pain ive ever experienced in my life). in late summer 2022 i "threw out my back" while volunteering n ended up walking on it for like. a couple hours afterwards which uhhhhhhhhh fucked me up severely. the pain started radiating out from my back into my hips/legs, and my hips literally just straight up stopped moving/working right anymore. i was walking like, not with a limp but almost like with a weird sway to my hips? aaaaand my scoliosis reversed itself!!! where before my spine had curved to one side, all of a sudden it was curving the other way!! and the curve was much more noticeable just by looking at my silhouette in the mirror than it ever had been before!! which was not a thing i thought could happen!! so like, what the fuck!!

i ended up getting prescribed prescription-strength muscle relaxants as well as prescription-strength naproxen for that injury, which was a godsend, but i also was motivated, mostly by the whole scoliosis-reversal thing, to actually get my back checked out by someone to see wtf was going on. so i went to a local clinic (i have no pcp) and explained my situation to the dr, basically everything ive just described here.

and he said. and i quote "well, losing weight would help with that"

.

you guys.

when i tell you that i burst into tears

i burst into tears in that room and begged him, begged him to help me find out what was wrong. i told him the pain was preventing me from working, preventing me from running errands, preventing me from living. i told him i was feeling actively suicidal because of both the pain itself and how it was destroying my life.

finally, after listening to all that, he said, exasperated: "well what do you want me to do?"

and i said "please, can you just refer me to get an x-ray to see what's going on with my back"

so he did. and i went and got an x-ray a few days later. i asked the tech there if i could get a copy of them and she said to wait until they were sent to the doctors office and request copies from them, so i did. when they hadn't called me back in a couple weeks i called them asking if they had received them yet. they said no. i asked if they would call me when they did. they said yes.

they never did.

that was in december 2022. then 2023 happened and i just. i gave up yall. i gave up on ever getting a fucking answer for why i was in so much pain, let alone ever being able to fix it. even after my breakdown this summer which finally led to me starting on antidepressants and then therapy, i still didnt have a shred of faith that id ever be able to get any dr to give a shit abt the debilitating pain i had spent the last decade of my life experiencing

and then. finally. this week. i was just like. fuck it. whats the email of that clinic. and i found it, and i emailed them asking for copies of my x-rays, if they still had them. and they responded! the very next day! unfortunately they only gave me the...i assume radiologists? findings rather than the x-rays themselves (im gonna write back seeing if/how i can get those, cause i do still want them for my records). but still!! oh my god!! its been an entire calendar year but i finally got to find out what the results were!!

so the extra lumbar vertebrae i knew already. the rest i was kinda surprised to hear cause like? ive seen my 2015 x-rays and they clearly showed my scoliosis/tilted pelvis? so i assumed this would too? but who knows! it had been seven years! also the first set were done standing up, while these ones were done lying down, so idk how that might affect things. in any case, i decided to google this "presumed lumbarization of S1 vertebra", just to see what came up

yall.

yall.

so like!!! okay!!! when i was told the whole "having an extra lumbar vertebra was fine and wouldn't cause back pain" thing that was just straight up false i guess!! and when i went to the dr and told him i had low back pain + scoliosis + an extra lumbar vertebra he should've!! perhaps!! investigated further!!

i cannot explain to you how furious this makes me. whether this is the exclusive cause of my back pain, a contributing cause, hell, even if its a complete red herring. every source i read indicated that if a patient presents with chronic severe low back pain AND known structural abnormalities (like literally all of mine!!) that they should fucking consider that perhaps those two things are related!! they should AT FUCKING LEAST try to rule them out as causes!!!!!!! they definitely shouldnt tell their (not in any way overweight btw) patient to lose weight!!!!!! fuck!!!!!

anyway. in the new year i am going to try again to get a dr to take me seriously. and maybe they wont. maybe ill have to cry and beg again for them to give me the basic standard of care. but fuck!! im not going to give up until SOMEONE agrees to actually figure out what the fuck is wrong with me!! i don't want to be in pain anymore!!! i just fucking dont!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT

fucking. fuck.

i dont have the energy/mental bandwidth to properly explain rn but i just Learned Something abt my body that could explain a biiiiiig part of the issues ive been having

and the fact that im only learning it now, in december 2023 at the age of almost-30, has me. fuming

i legitimately want every single apathetic/lazy/misogynistic/fucking ableist healthcare professional to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[marybatson]

my general thoughts during black adam 2022 tht swirled in my mind like a flushing toilet. in no order

writers room and maybe mr johnson himself actually ironed out geoff’s adam origin and made him nicer because he literally murdered his nephew in that one. this works tho for what they were going for so okieee . will we get adam choking out the shazam kids in movie 2 LOL the rock would never agree to tht. wat happened to the anti in antihero mister…

kinda moe they made atom smasher n adam have bestie potential like in jsa lol.

gushing about adrianna and amon. amon AND HIS LIDDOL SKATEBOARD !!!!!! they were so so real even more so than their roles in 52 and I appreciate the writers sm for that. esp the role of khandaqi citizens later in the movie like ya fuck imperialism

it genuinely felt like a shift of two movies going back and forth between khandaq and hawkmans cruiser which I guess u could say makes it immersive

the entire jsa dynamic was so so good simply bc the chars were so fleshed out even in the small lines al and maxine (I LOVE U MAXINEEEE!!!) had they felt like heroes who’d worked together for so long. like it was easy breezy n if u compare that to the billion of quips and tension jl in the movie had like. it’s kind of wild. centering dc movieverse on jsa was not on my bingo. JAIME REYES BLUE BEETLE JSA MOMENT?

ROCK OF FINALITY ? let me ruminate on that.

shook w laughter every time somebody in the movie went “but WHO could defeat black adam” “only one person could defeat sabbac” “you’re so stacked even more so than any hero on earth adam” elephant in the room in the form of the literal shazam family with an upcoming movie:🧍

ok more on the point above just now. LIKE WTF. every time someone makes adam stronger while completely ignoring that billy is his equal nay his better. no matter what I think abt dceu’s shazam it’s still literally soooo embarrassing they think they can separate adam completely when HES GOT A DAMN LIGHTNING BOLT ON HIS CHEST. this movie just makes me angrier abt it bc they showed the shazam 2 trailer before it and god how incompetent and idiotic does shazam look in comparison to adam it’s literally so embarrassing ? can darla dudley beat adam’s ass. you know she can. be for fuckin real

cc binder checking in from the afterlife going hi how’s r my kids oh cool more to the fam oh cool there’s movies. BLACK WHO? WHO IS THAT…. villain from a singular comic beaten in one breath by captain marvel ????? slay but wtf. also where is freddy

aldis hodge knocked it out of the park tbh. so did mr pierce brosnan. hawkman smirking about I’m not afraid of dying JSNWNDKD well. sure. and the jsa kids ^_^ omg if we’re doing this jsa gimme jakeem n courtneyyyy. or r they tied down by cw

unrelated to all of this at all but I was just thinking I wish shazam never got a movie he should’ve been shoved into a reoccurring role in like that stargirl show or whatever idc

I’m on mobile idk how to readmore here just block me or kill me I’m sawry. TLDR I thought it was good fun! kind of a long movie imo and sabbac final villain was like. uhhh sure ok that was smth tht happened.. anyway. I feel like audiences will just like it and I guess its an interesting reset for the movies

READ BLACK ADAM 2022 AND SUPPORT MALIK WHITE!!!!!!!!!!!

[icarus-suraki]

Invading your personal life with: 9, 50, 74

Invade my personal life! Or let me invade yours...

9. Do you have any cool talents? Well, despite being 40, I can put my feet behind my head. How's that?

No, for real: I've got some kind of EDS connective tissue thing. My brother has it to a greater degree (I'm envious) but we've both got the thing where your skin feels a bit odd and your scars look strange and you're just a little too flexible for your own good.

It's cool except that when I go for walks, sometimes my knees decide to be like "Hey, I have an idea. How about fuck this?" and start slipping (for lack of a better term) side to side and it hurts, so I always have to be ready to limp back home if that happens. My hips will do the same thing, but it seems less frequent than my knees.

But, yeah, I can cram all 5 feet, 10 lanky inches of myself into a standard-size moving box, which was a trick I did a few times during move-in at college. It's kind of fun to be able to wriggle into small spaces like that. It's come in handy a few times at work, interestingly enough.

50. How are you doing today? Not super-great, actually. Not to be TMI, but I've been feeling sick for the last couple of days. It's like my entire GI tract is swollen and sore, from my throat on down. I was bloated as hell Friday night and all day Saturday--even my head hurt, wtf? I'm better today but I'm still all sore. I'm not even hungry and I don't even want to eat but I can tell my blood sugar is getting low… I was supposed to have supper with my folks but that's not happening, which is frustrating…

I'm also feeling a bit anxious about my therapy appointment tomorrow because those are rough and I wish I could just be better already.

The weather is nice, though, if a bit chilly. But it's dry now, which is a relief after yesterday's humidity, and it's perfectly clear. And I'm working on some cosplay plans, though I'm feeling a bit uneasy about those because cosplay can be expensive as hell. But I want to. I don't want to say I need to but I kind of need to. It keeps me going. I can't sacrifice everything. So I'm pricing out fabric and working out how I want to do this. (The hat, a major element of the costume, is sitting nearby and motivating me immensely.)

74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new? You're asking me this in a post-Covid world? This? Me? In a post-Covid world?

Okay technically in August 2022 I had to drive out to the city water department main offices for a job interview. I ended up getting hired but the fact that I had to leave for work at about 5am and drive for an hour made it tough. That and the fact that my job responsibilities got changed on me unexpectedly and I wasn't getting any training… Yeah, not a great match. I think that's the last time I travelled somewhere new. I'm genuinely trying to remember…

Unless this question is really asking about travelling travelling. Like internationally or something not-quite-locally, in which case that would be something like 2010? I think? Summer 2010 was when I went to Otakon, which was definitely a new place for me. (That was the year of dudes walking around yelling "Backscratcher? Mmbackscratcher!" from Family Guy, I think? It was also the summer of Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver and the related Pokewalker and there were literally Pokemon walkers wearing dozens of the things and offering to walk your Pokemon for a fee. And the staff at the H.Naoto booth said my ouji-style outfit looked great and got me to hang around for a handshake event with the designer(!!!!). And I met a ton of people I only knew online to that point, which was awesome. Yeah, that was a fun time--to think I almost didn't go.)

I don't travel much--can you tell? Maybe I'll have a different answer to this when I have spending money again. I mean, I fully intend to go to Japan before too much longer.