#these two had a lot of words

[egophiliac]

don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12

[edgarwayne]

During a winter outing Nathan and Edgar have an important talk.

@ghostsbrokenbyfairytales

nathan laughed at the description. "if i wanted to do a full romance scene i would've swept you off your feet and went straight home to do what i said instead but you've still got a big ouchie so it's best to keep your feet on the ground right now." when edgar squeezed his hand it made him realize something, pausing his laughter to look at their hands. "i'm sorry. i should've asked i uh, i hope this is okay?"

"Mr. Big Strong Firefighter thinks he can carry me all the way back to the flat? I'd almost say prove it, but we both know that's a terrible idea." At the question Edgar looked down at their hands and nodded. "Yeah. Although….it's not very friendship-y of us," he pointed out with a smile. Not that he wanted to let go.

“oh i don’t think i can i know i can and just for that when you’re back to one hundred percent again i will prove it.” nathan grinned confidently knowing he absolutely could if he wanted to. he shrugged slightly but also didn’t let go when edgar said that, instead walking closer to the other. “i mean.. we don’t have to be official to like do.. date.. things. people go on dates and do coupley stuff before becoming official all the time so.. why can’t we?” maybe that was his way of saying he didn’t mind calling all of this a date, it sure felt like one even if they were still waiting on nathan. “sorry, maybe i said too much.”

Edgar scoffed. "Oh, you're so on. As soon as I get the all clear from the clinic, you're carrying me home." He bit his lip as he mulled over what Nathan said. "No, don't apologize. I….I want to do that. I'm…" he let out a sigh. Well, they did promise on talking later. Now was as good of a time as any. He also moved closer so that they were essentially brushing shoulders as they moved. "I just worry about blurring the lines too much. That if there isn't an obvious end goal you…might not want to get better." Swallowing the lump in his throat, Edgar's gaze dropped down to their feet as they continued walking.

he originally wanted to wait to have this conversation but it started slipping out faster than he could stop himself so he nodded along to what edgar was saying. “i understand,” nathan finally said, “i do want to get better though. i don’t… like relying on alcohol to solve my problems.” mostly because he knows it’s created more problems than solving to begin with. “i just, i don’t know, it was easier to quit last time and there wasn’t the looming threat of death before and now i’m like i guess afraid to admit that i’ve started thinking what’s the point..” he admitted with a sigh also looking down at their feet as they walked.

Edgar stayed quiet for a few moments, letting what Nathan said really sink in. The very reason they met was because they were both drinking at the bar, for what surmounted to more or less the same reason. "I ask myself that a lot. I'm scared, bloody terrified even, of what the future will hold. If there even is a future. But," he paused to reorganize his thoughts. "There are so many amazing people I have met in this town. People who have helped me feel more alive than I have in years, ironically enough. So if our time is cut shorter than it would have been anywhere else, well…I want to say that I at least enjoyed it all to its fullest."

nathan smiled softly at edgar. “i’m glad you have those people. i don’t have a lot of people that make me feel that way but…” he paused and squeezed his hand softly, “i guess there’s a few people i can say make me feel that way at least.” he ended up sighing though, taking a sip from his drink again then added. “i dont even know where to start when it comes to quitting at this point.”

"You might not have a lot, but there are still people in your life that care about you. Not just me." Edgar returned the hand squeeze. He took a sip of his own drink, needing the caffeine to help keep his thoughts in order. He offered a sheepish smile as Nathan admitted he didn't know where to start. "So….please don't be mad. I might have been….doing a little bit of research at the library. Most of the books I've found strongly recommend seeking professional help first and foremost. Medical and psychological. But for things we can do now, well, it seems like setting limits for yourself is a good starting place. I also ran into a lot of references to 'triggers' and trying to avoid them."

nathan smiled again and nodded slightly, edgar was right he didn’t need a lot of people in his life to care about him. the few people that already did was enough. his eyebrow raised when he said not to be mad and wondered what he was about say then chuckled as he shook his head. “okay so..” he bit the inside of his cheek now, “what if i don’t know what my triggers are?” well there was one he could think of, seeing edgar in that state the day of the earthquake was definitely a trigger. “or what if one i cant exactly.. help. cause it doesn’t rely on me necessarily..?”

He let out a long exhale, professor brain going into overdrive as he thought over the problem. "Well, have you ever noticed when something particular happens that makes you want to drink? Or that being around particular people or places have that effect on you?" Edgar looked over to Nathan at that last question, brows furrowed. "It sounds like you already have something in mind. If you don't feel comfortable telling me I understand. It's just…harder to help you come up with a plan if I don't know all the details." Still, he shook his head. "But that's okay. You could always try journaling? I find that helps a lot to give myself perspective. Maybe that could help you too?"

he shook his head. “not that i’ve noticed no.” realizing they were still walking he pulled edgar off to a nearby bench to sit down, especially since they were close enough to the video store at this point it didn’t matter. “i mean obviously being at the bar makes me wanna drink but that’s the only thing i can think of place wise.” he may have had a suspicion of people but didn’t want to admit that so moved on. “well.. honestly seeing you that day in that state was… a lot.” nathan admitted in a mumble. he didn’t want edgar to think it was his fault because the stress on top of that day was an added affect. “i feel selfish just saying that because it’s not like you could’ve avoided it, you saved people and yet here i am saying that shit triggered my drinking more god that sounds so fucking rude.” he put his drink down on the bench and put his face into his hands letting out a long shakey sigh. “yeah i guess i can give that a shot or something.”

As they sat down, Edgar kept his gaze on Nathan, expression neutral, open. He wanted the other man to know that no matter what he said he wasn't going to be judged. "Hey," he said gently. Setting down his own cup, Edgar reached to tug away the other's hands, then nudged Nathan's face up and towards him so they could see one another's eyes. "You're not selfish or rude, so don't ever think that. You might be one of the most selfless people I know. You're a firefighter for christ's sake. You help people Nathan. What you're describing, that's trauma. I can only begin to imagine how terrifying it is to see someone you love hurt like I was. I don't regret it, I protected my students like I was supposed to, but I do regret how much it hurt the people that matter to me. If the roles were reversed I can't even tell you how I'd have handled it. Not well, that much I can assure you. So stop beating yourself up over this, please."

He leaned their foreheads together, just taking a few moments to breathe. "Do my injuries still make you want to drink?" Moving back slightly, Edgar guided one of Nathan's hands to the hem of his sweater, indicating for him to put his hand inside. "It's not what you think," he added with a small smile. "I want you to feel my heart beat, and the sweater's kind of in the way. But the point is, I'm alive. I'm okay and I'm breathing." Funny how he had this exact same talk with Kirby only a few weeks prior. "My injuries were bad, and I won't ever fully heal from them, but I'm alive."

when he felt edgar’s hands pulling at his hands nathan hesitated for a moment but gave in quickly, letting him nudge his face to look at him and took another shakey breath. “i know you don’t regret it.” he said with a small chuckle but cracked a smile. “it just scared the shit out of me i guess, knowing that i just confessed to you that i’m in love with you then almost had you ripped away from me that quickly. it felt like the universe was telling me i was some sort of bad luck charm…” first it was mia taking away their son because of his drinking and then the moment he said he’d start working on himself and quit again edgar had gotten hurt.

he shook his head against his forehead, “no they don’t. i guess now i’ve been drinking because it feels.. normal?” though it doesn’t make him act normal. he took a breath, this one less shakey as he slowly felt himself calming down again at his words. “i know you are, i remind myself of that constantly. when i think about it i just tell myself that it could’ve been worse.”

"Well," he said with a small smile. "I guess the Universe, or Fate, or God, or whomever has a pretty bad sense of humor. It's a bit homophobic if you ask me." Edgar hoped the joke would help to lighten some of the mood.

He tilted his head at Nathan's wording. "Normal? How do you mean?" Edgar leaned in once more, this time capturing the other's lips. Pulling back, he gave smile. "Think of that instead of Halloween. I'd argue kisses are preferable."

nathan chuckled. “yeah i guess they do huh?” he was about to answer when edgar kissed him, kissing him back eagerly and sighed contently when he pulled back. “i’m sure as hell gonna try and think about that instead because you’re right, i do prefer that.” he ran a hand through his hair now knowing he had to answer the question. “as for normal i guess i mean like.. i’ve been drinking for so long at this point that it feels like i can’t end my day without a beer or something.” nathan admitted sheepishly. “i know it’s not healthy or normal at all i’ve been through this once before this time just feels harder for some reason.”

He nodded, biting his lip in thought. "Is it just the one beer every night? Or does one turn into a lot more?" Edgar frowned at Nathan's word use again. "Stop using such negative language Nate. If you keep saying it's not healthy, not normal, of course you're going to struggle. Okay, yes, it's not the…healthiest lifestyle choice. Welcome to your 40s where you start to feel every drink a bit harder and your body feels ready to pop out of place at any time. But focusing on all the negative is only going to make it so much harder to motivate yourself."

“usually the one turns into more unless i’m at home and out of drinks.” nathan blinked in surprise at edgar, he wasn’t expecting him to say all of that and yet it felt oddly comforting. “okay..” he said quietly with a slight laugh, “okay i promise i’ll get better at not being so negative about it.” though he knew that was going to be hard and take some getting used to. “maybe tough love will help, a good smack anytime i refer to it negatively.” nathan joked hoping itd land well.

"Okay," he said slowly. "We have a place to start. Let's work on limiting your nightly drinks. I can't imagine cutting cold turkey will do any good. So let's say," he paused to think. "No more than 3 beers. And I mean beer. If you have something heavier as a night cap, limit that to….2." It wasn't perfect, but surely it was at least manageable.

Edgar smiled, appreciating the attempted joke. "I don't know. I feel like you would like it too much if I hit you. Might cause mixed signals."

nathan nodded. “i think i can do that yeah, seems like a fair trade to start leaning myself off the dependency.” he was going to try and do less than that but it was a good compromise for now until he could rely on it less.

“hey i-“ he had to pause and scratched his chin as he though on it. “actually i’m not sure, you could be right. i do kinda wanna find out now though.”

It was a relief that Nathan was willing to try the suggestion. Edgar knew it wasn't going to be an easy road to sobriety, but he would be there to support the other every step of the way. At the admission he did let out a laugh, however. "Maybe later," he teased. "Let's go back to what I said earlier first. Seeing a professional. Will you at least consider going to the clinic? Or I've heard there are a few therapists in town. You know there's no shame in asking for help."

nathan laughed as well at the tease and nodded, running a hand through his hair then picked up his drink again. “what would the clinic even do for me?” ignoring the mention of therapists. he knew there was no shame but he’d rather avoid that option and use it more as a last resort than anything. “i’d rather go there first but i just don’t know what they’d even do considering supplies and shit or whatever.”

He took a sip of his own drink, hating that Nathan probably had a point. "I know there's medication that can help curb the craving, but you might be right that they might not have it. But also…" Edgar took a deep breath, bracing himself for what might be the hardest part of this talk. "I read that alcohol withdrawal can be pretty severe. It…it might be good to have the clinic keep an eye on you during the process. Especially since this has been going on for years."

“right…” he remembered the withdrawals he went through the first time he quit but that one was more severe on account of quitting alcohol and drugs. “well, how about we wait and see? maybe if i slowly get myself off of it this time the withdrawals won’t be so bad and the clinic might not be needed at all.” nathan just hoped he was able to actually do that.

Edgar nodded in agreement. "But if it gets too bad you'll see them, right? Please?"

nathan chewed on the inside of his cheek realizing it was a nervous habit of his before nodding. “okay. yeah if i can’t do it on my own i’ll see them.”

Letting out a sigh of relief, Edgar gave a small smile. "I'm glad. And maybe try to avoid the bar? At least as best as you can?"

he nodded again. “yeah i guess i can try and avoid there yeah.” that one might be tougher for nathan but he’d try.

"Okay, last one, and then we can keep going. What can I do to help? And please, don't just say 'heal up' or 'be yourself.' I really want to support you Nathan, be there for you." Edgar's eyes searched the other's face, expression pleading.

god dammit anytime edgar used that expression nathan always had a hard time arguing about anything. sighing he shrugged, “i’m gonna be honest i’m not sure.” he finally admitted. “last time i went through this i didn’t really have the support so i don’t actually know what you can do to help.”

Great. That wasn't much to go on. "Well, is there anything I can do different? Do more of? Less of?"

“not really?” nathan bit his lip now and looked at edgar. “i know spending time with you makes things easier, the urge to drink isn’t as prominent.”

Edgar also bit his lip, thinking back to their conversation earlier. "You…mentioned wanting to do more dating things. Would…would that help? Instead of waiting entirely until you're ready?"

nathan paused to think on it for a moment, almost as if he was having an internal debate with himself. when he was ready he took his free hand to grab edgar’s free one. “i know the idea of doing those things makes me happy and when i’m happy the thought of drinking isn’t really there.” he finally said looking at the other with a smile

He looked into Nathan's eyes, searching, before giving a slow nod. "Okay. Okay, yeah." After a moment Edgar returned the smile. "I'm glad we were able to finally talk. Really talk, you know?"

it felt like forever until edgar said something back and smiled, making nathan let out a small sigh of relief. “me too, i’m.. i’m sorry it took so long.” he said sheepishly.

Edgar shook his head at the apology. "It's okay, really. The fact we're having this conversation at all means the world to me. And I'm proud of you, for even taking this step."

he smiled at the words and leaned over to kiss edgar softly, pulling away to rest his forehead on the others. “thank you for not just giving up on me either..” nathan said quietly.

Edgar returned the kiss, smiling against the other's lips. "I'd never dream of it," he whispered. "Are you ready to keep moving? You're probably freezing."

he chuckled and nodded after pulling away fully now. “the hot coco helped but yes im ready to keep moving. this bench is freezing my ass i did not wear the right pants.” nathan laughed as he stood up, holding his hand out to edgar to help him stand if he needed it, or just to take it and hold, either worked for him.

[spacetimeaccordionfolder]

I might have gone a bit over the top about this.

text from here. I used 1.11.8-11 as references. panel 1 here is kind of a redraw of panel 6 of 1.11.11.

@comicaurora

[makingshortstorieslong]

A little zine about how I (still) have trouble saying the word aromantic.

I've never made a zine before! I was inspired to try it because @queerliblib mentioned a zine making night in an email. That hasn't happened yet - its on June 26th - but once I had the idea, I couldn't wait, lol. It was nice to put something down on paper and have the finished product to hold onto.

Image descriptions under the cut:

Page 1: Three tiny speech bubbles say: "Do you have a bf? Do you like anyone? What's your type?" A big speech bubble says, "Oh, I don't date." The big speech bubble comes from a heart colored like the aromantic flag. 

Page 2 says: I could say: "Actually, I'm... ...aromantic." ...aro." ...aromantic asexual." ...aroace."

Page 3 says: But there are a few problems:

aromantic: Has been misheard as "A Romantic".

aro: Opaque if you don't already know the term.

aromantic asexual: A mouthful! And sounds...scientific?

aroace: shares The Big Problem: it may require a vocabulary lesson!

Page 4 says: It doesn't actually come up too often! Which is fine. My coworkers, my neighbors, and strangers don't need to know I'm aroace. I just wish I could say it sincerely when I do want someone to know. 

Page 5 says: I always have to smile - laugh - hedge. "Oh, well, actually, I'm kind of like, aromantic? Basically just not interested."

It's been more than 8 years since the first time I said it out loud!  I'm certain of it, but I still can't say it like I mean it!

Page 6 says: The most memorable time I said "I don't date" the guy I was talking to asked "Oh are you asexual?" and I said "Yeah, actually. And aromantic." And we moved on.

That was nice. 

Page 7 says:

The times I've lead with "I'm aromantic" -- well, there's only one I really remember:

"I didn't use to think that was a real thing." 

Other than that time -- even if I use the word, I always explain what it means first! 

Page 8 says: I just hope that one day I'll feel like I can say, simply, confidently: "I'm aromantic" and "I'm aroace."

The words "I'm aromantic" are big and dark green, the color of the top stripe of the aromantic flag. The words "I'm aroace" are big and bright orange, the color of the top stripe of the aroace flag. Three hearts below the words are colored to look like the aromantic, aroace, and asexual flags. 

[bird-inacage]

The Heart Killers Trailer | Kantbison + UNHINGED

CURRENT CAUSE OF DEATH.

I'm sorry - they did not prepare us for this. BDSM??? A 500-Days-of-Summer DANCE NUMBER?! THESE TWO ARE GOING TO BE SO INSANELY DERANGED AND CHAOTIC, I LOVE THAT FOR THEM.

[starry-bi-sky]

watch me end up making a superdad au coz of WTNS

because!!! because i was thinking about how funny it is that Bruce's first two kids (Dick and Danny) would be superman fans, and how funny it would be if that influenced his opinion on Superman when they first met. And then I got to picking that apart, and how Danny's opinion and feelings on Superman would have the bigger impact on Bruce than Dick, since Dick's admiration for Superman (presumably) comes from the standard little kid "he's an alien and he can FLY" (and flying graysons) stuff. Which, while very very cute, is easy to ignore and disallow swaying feelings on.

But DANNY? It's not the same. While part of Danny's admiration comes from the same "holy shit he's an alien and can fly thats so COOL" vein, it also comes from a place of feeling deeply relatable to him. Both he and Superman were/are perceived as incredibly powerful, deeply dangerous creatures that are nigh impossible to stop, they have a handful of powers that are similar to one another, and they are (one of) the only ones of their kind. Superman is (one of) the last Kryptonian, Danny is (one of) the only Liminal in existence, and they might not be the same species but the principle remains the same and they're in the same boat.

As a result, Danny would just, god, he'd find so much relation in that. And yeah they're not the same but Superman would make him feel just a little less alone, a little more seen, and he'd find so much comfort in that.

And Bruce, by the time he meets Superman, would know by then about Danny's powers and his experiences and his time as Phantom and as a Liminal. And it's easy to ignore your kid's admiration for another Superhero when it stems from a place of plain hero worship or simple appreciation. It's harder to ignore it when your kid admires a Superhero because they make them feel seen and relate to them on a level you can't reach them on.

When that's the reason, how could he not think differently about Superman? When, by then, he's seen the scars left on Danny's body from all of his fights; when he's seen him cry and break down over never being able to fly again thanks to the blood blossom poison; when he's heard all about the struggles he faced with his powers, the fear he had about being found out, the fear he had when he was first developing them; and how he was ostracized by his city for his efforts just because he wasn't human, despite how much he was just trying to help.

How could he not look at Superman when they first meet, mask-to-mask, and have a little voice in the back of his mind go: 'my kid is a lot like you'

its making me emotional. if these feeligns persist im going to end up making a superdad au

[turtledotjpeg]

girls who go 🧍

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

do you think it's weird or unfounded to not want to use chat gpt due to the environmental cost? i feel really strongly that i want to completely avoid it (and, like, recreational/work related ai in general) for that reason, but people seem to think this is really weird when i express that as a reason. but i feel like i should be able to make this call if i want to and that's a good reason to not use it. i don't know?!?!?! i don't get anything anymore?!?!?!

[roscoehamiltons]

having some insomniac thoughts about how the public perception of the george vs max fight is affected by their PR personas, how much people value authenticity (or the appearance of being authentic) now in celeb culture, and how max uses that to his advantage….

[asexualjedi]

We really mass hallucinated and almost made Codywan canon huh. I was here back when it was just a rare crack ship idk what happened but like it’s so crazy what almost happened in the obiwan show. How the fuck did we hallucinate that close to the sun god bless never let your dreams stay dreams.

[marzipanandminutiae]

okay has anyone else dealt with extreme neat freak housemates? because I feel like I'm losing my mind

I'm not a dirty person, I'm pretty sure. a bit prone to clutter, but not actual dirt. I don't like for the house to be dirty. but there's just been a House Meeting called and when I went to ask the housemate who requested it what was going on- because I hate house meetings that I don't already know the purpose of; it feels like a Wait Until Your Father Gets Home situation and I don't even know what I'm potentially "in trouble" for

and basically they all feel that I'm leaving the kitchen "filthy"

"nobody wants to cook there because it's gross" was the exact quote

I feel like I'm losing my mind, because...I don't think I leave the kitchen gross? I wipe crumbs off the counter; I wipe up spills if and when they happen. the most I've ever noticed when I go in there is a couple of crumbs here and there, genuinely. or when I look over the kitchen after I finish up with a meal

(also this housemate once sent a picture to the group chat with like. five single, spread-out crumbs on the counter individually circled in red. but the thing is, everyone else seems to agree with her)

but I'm also very good at hating myself, so now I'm wondering if I AM somehow disgusting

and of course, my House Meeting tribunal has to convene at some point. the last one made me feel like everything I said was pointless because everyone else put up a united front and shot it all down, so I guess I'm headed for more of the same

[dewwshi]

princess of mithral hall

[couch-house]

some echidnas and a jackass

[scarlet-witchery]

The Trial of Magneto #1 Cover Variant // Emily Rose Cole, from 'Persephone Returns' // Pietà by Michaelangelo // Nicola Yoon, 'The Sun is Also a Star' // The Trial of Magneto, #4 & #5 // unknown // Pietà by William-Adolphe Bouguereau // José Olivarez, 'Promises of Gold' // The Trial of Magneto #4

Wanda + Erik | Pietro + Erik

[bunnymadeofstardust]

here drunk dummies slow dancing together

[canisalbus]

I'd like to think, in at least one modern AU, if Giordano was still associated with and manipulating Machete, Vasco would give him the public dressing down of the millennium, just a multiverse of "You never deserved the respect nor fondness my partner has ever given you, and you are an emotional leech who's only skill is traumatizing children" with a twinge of the AM rant just dropped on the man's shoulders.

.