#this doesn't include smaller one-shots

[harrington-stevie]

never have i ever

Summary: You're playing the game "Never have I ever" at Dustin's birthday party and it surprises you when Eddie reveals a secret of his personal life.

Warning: 18+ MDNI, masturbation, oral (m receiving)

Word count: 3.1k

You're only at this party because it's Dusin Henderson's 18th birthday. He thinks he's old enough to drink, so he makes sure all of his friends are drinking too. Except, he's only adept at drinking beer. Not like you, though. You like anything strong. You can drink beer, cocktails, tequila, anything alcoholic.

As you sip on your piña colada, one made especially by Jonathan, you watch as the younger boys play D&D at the bar. On the other side of the table, Eddie is smoking weed with his friends as they watch their friends playing. You try not to be obvious with your glances that are being directed at the metalhead, but you might be failing doing so because of the drinks you had.

Steve is trying to get your attention as he talks about his date, and Robin can't seem to listen to him because she's too busy checking Vickie out. They've been going on dates, but she's too invested and doesn't hide it. He's babbling and rambling, not hiding his excitement, and you feel bad you're not exactly listening to him.

The Hideout was rented just for Dustin's birthday, so you're allowed to listen to whatever you guys felt like. You and your friends are old enough to drink, and you're all taking care of the younger group in front of you. Will doesn't drink and Eleven isn't fond of it. Max is the one along with Mike who likes to try on cocktails and Jonathan makes sure he adds enough ounces of alcohol.

"Okay, you know what? If they're going to play a boring game, let's just play our own game!" Robin says as soon as Steve shuts his mouth

You both ask her what game it is and she seems excited about it. "Never have I ever"

Steve rolls his eyes and mumbles something and you just snort.

It's not like it's a forbidden game, but it sure can be fun.

She gathers every adult, including Eddie, who clearly couldn't be bothered by the idea. His friends decided to stay and watch the youngsters playing. As you all sit around a bigger table, Robin and Nancy spread shot glasses to each one of you, placing a good amount of tequila on each glass.

You don't protest, you like the idea of playing something like that. And it's funny how some of them, like Eddie and Steve, look like they're afraid of doing it.

You nudge the curly haired man beside you and whisper "You seem pretty worried"

He nudges you back and mocks you, shaking his head softly "Nah, just not the biggest fan of these games"

"Okay! Listen. I'll start and the round goes on to the right. Don't bullshit us and don't be soft" Robin shouts from the other side of the table, preparing herself before starting it.

They're all telling off things based on their own experiences, until Argyle decides to be the greatest menace ever. He started saying specific stuff that weren't related to him, rather to find out if people have ever done anything. The tequila shots were smaller so you all wouldn't die from alcohol poisoning.

You started to feel giddy, your cheeks were burning red and every time Eddie would bump his arm against yours, you would feel squirmy in your seat.

"Never have I ever been given a blowjob" Jonathan said and the guys took their shots. Argyle wouldn't stop laughing at this point, but mostly because he was drunk and high on weed.

It took a few seconds for you all to notice the fact that Eddie didn't take his shot and all eyes were pointed at him. He was leaning against his chair with a bandana over his head, so he wouldn't feel hot from drinking. His t-shirt was wet from the drink he missed and spilled over it. From your point of view, he looked hot as fuck.

"What? Yeah, I've never been sucked before and I'm not ashamed. I've barely hooked up with girls before" He seemed unbothered from saying the truth and it took them by surprise.

At least Steve and Jonathan were. Argyle, not so much. They've been friends for a while and they've shared experiences before. Meaning they didn't have many, but the fact no one ever wanted to give Eddie a blowjob seemed kinda off to you somehow.

"Huh, it's their loss" You murmured but loud enough for him to hear you

"What's that?" He rested his elbow over the table and leaned his head against his hand, having your full attention.

Eddie was holding a smug on his face and his lips were curved upwards. He pretended he didn't listen to you, but he knows what he heard.

"Uh– I mean" You blew through your closed mouth, trying to disguise your temptation of complimenting him. "Ah, they're all just stupid for not doing that"

"Really?" He pushes, biting his inner lower lip as he still muses towards you.

As you cross your arms in front of you, Eddie laughs at the way you react to his teasing and sits back straight on his chair. The game doesn't take too long to end, especially when Nancy says she's feeling kind of sick, and Vickie is about to throw up on the table.

You all scatter around, getting up and collecting the shot glasses. You don't feel sick, but you sure feel funny and like you're about to float from the amount of tequila you just had.

As soon as you turn on your heels to go back to the table, Eddie is standing there in front of you, holding a bottle of water. He's still wearing the bandana and it makes him look gorgeous from how the lights are hitting him. Without his bangs, you can see him more clearly. How his eyes are blown from the weed he smoked, the way his eyebrows are perfectly shaped, just like the shape of his plump lips.

You don't think he wouldn't notice, but he tilted his head to the side and gave you a sided smile. The kind of smile you give someone when you're about to mess with them, when you want to taunt them.

"Why are you looking at me that way, sunshine? Something wrong with my face?"

He follows you as you start to walk towards the table and you shake your head, hiding your thoughts as you drink your water. Eddie doesn't even let you sit without pulling a chair for you. He sits next to you, facing you. He crosses his arms and slumps back.

When he does that, your eyes literally drop a few inches to watch how he just sits there with his legs spread open, almost an invitation to what you've been thinking about.

You almost choke on the water from drinking it too fast. He takes the bottle off your hand and closes it, keeping his previous demeanor.

"Okay, now you're just acting weird. What the hell happened?" He sounds a little concerned, but the fact he's sitting like that in front of you doesn't help it.

You shrug, taking a deep breath. You cross your legs and lick your lips playfully before opening your mouth to speak. This small action sends a shock wave through his own body but it lasts a fraction of time.

You pull your chair closer to his, your legs standing in the middle of his. Eddie shifts his eyes to your legs and the way you are looking at him.

"You wouldn't wanna know what it's like to get a blowjob, Eddie?" You try not to sound like you're enticing him, or even provoking him. But the context says otherwise.

He laughs nervously, diverting his eyes from you. He looks at the ceiling and sighs. You see him taking a deep breath, looking back at you.

"What is this conversation about, really? None of the girls I've gone out with would wanna suck a freak off. They just wanted to hook up because I'm sort of famous in town. And I've had sex like two times. So really, don't bother with the subject"

He played defensive, like he was offended. You didn't intend to sound as if you're joking and making fun of him for not having much sex.

"No– Eddie, I'm not trying to make fun of you. You're such a grumpy little man! Come here" You quickly get up and pull him by his hand, following to the back of the bar.

You knew the whole place. You've been at the bar a hundred times and he talked about the back of the bar where he and his band use as backstage. They had set up a few furniture including one couch.

One you pushed him to after you closed the door and locked it. He looked at you terrified but amused at the same time, because he had no idea what was happening.

You sat beside him, resting your arm on the back of the couch. His brows were furrowed and when you noticed how pretty his lips were you couldn't hold it back.

"We're friends, right? You trust me?" You ask, your voice a little shy and your tone a little lower.

He nodded and tilted his head, again. "Yeah, sunshine. If we weren't, you know I wouldn't let you fucking kidnap me and bring me here" He jokes.

It's the way he calls you sunshine. The way he looks tenderly at his friends and how he treats everyone. It's so fucking cute. It's not even the alcohol talking and you know that.

You also know sometimes he throws glances at you, but you know he wouldn't do shit about that. He's too afraid of committing, too afraid of being heartbroken. He just doesn't know what he's actually missing.

And then you laugh like you're embarrassed, your head is hanging low because you can't seem to face him right now. But he pinches your chin carefully, looking right at you. His fingertips aren't that soft and you know it's from playing guitar. They also smell like smoke.

"What is it?" He asks again, pleading chocolate brown eyes staring into your soul. You look back at him and move your face until you're just a few inches away from him. "Oh?"

At first, he seems confused and kind of lost. But it's only a matter of seconds until he's the one taking you in and kissing you softly. He tastes like tequila and cherry from the gum he was chewing. It's intoxicating, it's a mix of feelings for you. He's still holding your chin. He uses the other one as leverage and holds your neck. You're anxious to taste him, literally.

The euphoria hits you like a train wreck when he lets you pull his hair a bit. He tries not to gasp from the touch, and he instinctively bites a small bit of your lower lip. It sends you to a frenzy and your other hand flies up to his crotch. Obviously, he's hard. Not just from the touch, but from the kiss. From how you hold his hair.

Eddie never had a girl hold his hair like that, he barely had a girl that interested in him. And he likes the feeling of being desired, it's different. And knowing you, he feels like he can trust you.

So he lets you touch him. Both your mouths never leave, only adding more fuel to his fire. You notice his behavior and try to unzip his jeans without being concerned about breaking the kiss.

He helps you out lifting his hips so you can get rid of it, trying to focus on kissing him and touching him. You love the feeling of having someone this horny for you. You feel his hardness grow through the fabric and you can feel the dampness already.

"You're so hard for me, Eds" You whisper hovering your lips over Eddie's and he grunts in response.

Your little evil laugh makes him more turned on for you, and his first instinct is to pull your hair, but not with force. He pulls you back a little, enough for him to have a look at you, the way you stare back at him with lust in your eyes.

"You're so gorgeous" He mumbles, his eyes sparkly. When you grip his hard cock tight, he hisses at the touch and closes his eyes forcefully.

He's still holding your hair and when you do that again, he grips it tighter. He's playing your game. Only he's the one getting something out of it. At least today.

You hold his underwear and pull it down, watching as his dick springs free from the fabric. Red tip, already leaking and begging for more of your attention. Eddie doesn't let go of you, only enough for you to start sliding down the couch, kneeling in front of him. You look at him before looking at his cock, it's trimmed and it looks gorgeous. It's already begging for your attention.

The alcohol in your system seems to evaporate immediately. Eddie glances down at you with concerned eyes, like he's afraid you won't do it. But you glance up and nod, reassuring him you will do it, smiling just before you start giving him the pleasure he deserves.

You lick a stripe through his shaft, tasting him for the first time. He didn't know the feeling until then, and it made him pulse like he never did before. One hand holding your hair back and the other one gripping tightly on the edge of the couch.

Your tongue savors his precum until you reach the tip and give it a small kiss. You look at him again, he's trying to hold back his whimpers. You know it's hard for him to handle the touch as it is his first time. Usually something this provocative causes a man to last only a few minutes.

But you take your time, taking his cock inside your mouth until the tip hits the back of your throat. It's not your first time, so you don't gag anymore.

You bob your head up and down a few times, sucking him and the liquid coming off of him. You use one hand to grip his balls, and the other one you leave resting over his stomach. He seems to love it.

He watches you carefully, he looks at how your tongue roams up and down his length, reaching the tip again, swallowing thickly. You feel it pulsing every now and then, precum spreading all over it until you suck it in again.

"Jesus fuck" Eddie moans. He lets out a loud, unsteady breath. His hand is gripping your hair carefully and if you didn't know any better, he's just being gentle when you know he would pull it harder. He was almost melting from the feeling of your mouth. 

You take him back and forth, rolling your tongue around it. You lick his cock down and reach his balls, sucking it until your mouth is full and he struggles to keep his eyes open because he wants to watch it all.

You hold his shaft with your delicate hand and pump him, your mouth helping out with the job. You sank back down lower, taking every inch of him, looking up at him. Your lips slid perfectly around his skin and it made him even harder. He starts to buckle his hip when he glances at you, seeing lust in your eyes again.

Your eyes are blown from pleasure and Eddie wonders if you’re feeling the heat between your legs as well. He wants to know if your pussy is wet from doing all this with him and he can’t help but thrust against your mouth. He starts slowly, until you’re feeling comfortable having his entire length in the back of your throat. 

Eddie watches when you let him fuck your mouth mercilessly, feeling his tip hitting your throat. He can't hold back his grunts, letting his head fall back to the couch. His eyes are now closed and he's in a bliss of pleasure.

The quiet room is filled with the sound of his cock in your mouth, Eddie moaning huskily and you whimpering from your own pleasure. No one cares you're both there, no one even knows you're there. He holds your head and hits his length in a perfect spot that makes him shiver.

He stops his thrusts because he wants you to finish for him. You grip the base of his cock and grip it tightly, letting the blood rush to the tip, and you suck him hard. You hollow your cheeks and suck him hard enough for him to feel lightheaded.

“Godfuckingdamn” Eddie pleads.

It's how it makes his heartbeat fasten quickly and his cock is almost exploding from the pleasure. You know he's going to cum because his legs start to falter and shake. His hand is gripping your hair tighter than before and he's buckling his hips upwards.

It comes with the loudest grunt he lets out. He fills in your mouth and the warm liquid washes over your throat as you swallow all of it. His dick pulses incessantly and you don't let go of him for a second.

Eddie feels kind of drained, but in a very good way. He's still on a high, but he feels relieved. His entire body is shaking, his legs are weak and his hands fall on top of the couch. You take the last bit of his cum and let go of him.

You think it's cute to see his cheeks flushed, painted in red. He's breathing heavily and you can't quite describe how hot he looks right now. His dick is still a little hardened but less than before. You get yourself up and help him get his pants done and sit back on the couch.

Eddie looks at you like you're the most beautiful thing he's seen. And it's not just because of what happened. He likes the thought of kissing you, of having you blowing him. He kissed you without any hesitation, tasting a bit of himself in your mouth.

"That was mind-blowing" He heaves, resting his forehead against yours and you laugh softly.

"You wanna go back to the party?" You ask, getting up from the couch, ready to open the door. But he pulls you back and holds your hand.

He shakes his head, showing off a little bit of shyness in his features. "I wanna take you home and kindly fuck you"

It makes you laugh at how much he can still manage to be such a gentleman when saying something dirty. But you agree to that and you both leave, driving to his apartment.

[ninikrumbs]

fluff with boyfriend satoru. thats it.

boyfriendsatoru who's weary and exhausted from the weight of the world on his shoulders, fighting curses day in and day out.

boyfriendsatoru who's favorite part of the day is coming home to you, to the soft hum of your cozy apartment. Your warm smile and open arms a perfect remedy to melt away the exhaustion in his bones, along with the smell of a freshly made meal or takeout depending on how tired you were from your own missions.

"Welcome home, Toru!" The tender tone in your voice made his heart warm. Despite your tired eyes, you still stood up to greet him by the door. You wear wearing his shirt and nothing else with your hair up in a messy bun. And to him you looked so beautiful it almost hurt. How did he ever deserve you?

He closes the distance between you two, wrapping his arms around your smaller frame, hugging you tightly like someone was gonna take you away.

Tucking his head in the crook of your neck, he breathes you in and melts into your embrace. "Im home."

boyfriendsatoru who's house is now so full of life ever since you came in the picture, apartment now filled with cute trinkets, scented candles, plants and cozy throw pillows. A stark difference from his once cold and empty house that he only uses to sleep for a few hours before carrying the mantle as the storngest once more.

boyfriendsatoru who makes up for his absence due to long missions every chance he gets. He now demands for days off like other sorcerers and spends those days trailing behind you like a little puppy.

boyfriendsatoru who doesn't know what personal space is when it comes to you. Wanna shower? he's right there with you. Reading a book in bed? his using your chest as a pillow, purring like a cat every time your laugh reverberates from your body, might even offer to reenact your favorite scenes. Need to pee in the middle of the night? You get startled when he opens the door, sleepy face yawning as he scratches his toned tummy while he waits for you to be finished. Claiming that he can't sleep without you. Doing skincare? He's right beside you, waiting for you to pat in your toner and moisturiser on his face. Honestly, he's just a baby who loves you and wants to be included in everything.

"Toru, not that I mind..."

He looks up from his place on your chest, looking so sleepy and satisfied that you almost didn't wanna disturb him.

He yawns before answering you, voice laced with sleep. "What is it, sweets?"

You thread your fingers through his fluffy hair, giving him head scratches here and there and he basically purrs like a kitty on catnip. "You know you don't t have to spend every waking moment with me. I know you feel like you have to make up for the time we're apart, but its okay to make time for yourself you know."

In typical Gojo fashion, Satoru juts his lips out as his eyes water comically. "Does that mean you don't want to spend time me?"

"What? No!" You were somehow panicked and amused at the same time.

"You should've just shot me instead, that would have hurt less!" He cries, tightening his arms around your waist.

You shake your head at his theatrics, laughing fondly, "I didn't mean that you big baby."

Sparkly blue eyes stare back at you, "But Im your baby."

You snort in response. If only the world could see him now, the stongest so soft like this. But truly you felt lucky that monly you could see this side to Satoru. A side to him that you could keep all to yourself. The world can have the strongest, you only ever wanted Satoru. "Toru, I only meant that you might get tired of me if you don't have your personal space."

He scoffs, looking so offended. "First of all, there's absolutely no chance of me getting sick of you and second Ive had enough alone time to last me a life time."

The way he said the last part made it sound like it was no big deal but the thought of him coming home to an empy house with no one to turn to made your heart ache. "Toru.."

Seeing the look on your face, he quickly gives you a smile, "Don't look at me like that, sweets. Im fine, really. Its all in the past."

You were unconvinced but you didn't want to breach deeper into such a sad subject so instead you made a promise to yourself to make sure he never feels alone ever again.

You pull him up and wrap your arms around his neck, he snuggles into you but makes sure not to crush you under his weight. His warmth seeps into your skin as you caress his back. You murmur softly into his neck, "You have me, Toru. Always."

Gojo had to blink back the tears and stop his voice from shaking when he spoke, "And you have me."

--

"Just to be clear, you don't like personal space?" You ask, teasing lightly as you looked down at Gojo on you lap.

He gazes up at you, arms circling your waist, smirking cheekily as he answers, "I like your personal space."

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

F***ing FINALLY!!! I've been looking for stuff with a Reader saving Dogday since he's been introduced and I've only got like, three so far-

And I want this Reader to be resourceful, using anything to patch Dogday up(including scraps of Miss Delight's dress)

I hear your calls <3

...............

"You're wasting precious time, angel. Poppy needs you. I'm only gonna slow you down. Just leave me here, and tell her I'm-"

"You'll get to tell her that yourself, Dogday. Because I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna help you whether you like it or not."

With a huff, you used the grabpack to wheel in a cart filled with an assortment of items you picked up around the Playcare area: doll parts, plush felt, metal bars, and even Dogday's other missing leg, which you have miraculously found in the playhouse.

You did your best to stitch them back onto his body, although the real challenge was fixing them up first--considering how badly they got mangled by the smaller Smiling Critters. Through sheer luck, you were still able to recognize them as his legs.

And conveniently, you've retained some of your craftsmanship skills from your days working with Playtime Co.

You were given some praise for being able to speedily patch up broken and torn-up toys, but you've never touched upon any of the "Bigger Bodies" despite seeing similar injuries on them. They simply never gave you that clearance, and dealing with blood and organs (and possible death) was something way above your paygrade.

But with Dogday, you were able to apply similar techniques you used in doll repair. You made patches out of Miss Delight's polka-dot dress to cover up any tears, and you created small mechanisms to put inside his legs that would (hopefully) enable him to walk again.

It was like you were performing a surgical operation..

Except, well..that's exactly what was going on.

Despite your unwavering determination--and the fact that you succeeded in reattaching one leg to him so far--he insisted that you were only putting yourself at risk trying to help him.

Hell, you nearly got torn apart by those little Smiling Critters who chased you both down, being scared off by the flares you shot at them. He didn't think you'd have enough..but by the grace of god, you did. And you escaped and found a safe place where Kissy Missy and Poppy were also hiding out.

Not only did you finally get a breather, but also a chance to help one of the few toys left here who somehow didn't lose their humanity.

Even so, Dogday still feared for your safety.

"You know..this will only enrage Catnap, right?" He rasped, choking out a wet cough. "He'll know that I'm missing. And he'll know you have something to do with it.."

"Wait.." Pausing in your work, you glanced up at him with furrowed eyebrows. "Why would he care about where you are? Or better yet..why would he keep you alive at all?"

"...because I was his favorite."

"Huh..?"

"Before the Prototype became his sole focus, we did everything together." He explained somberly. "We helped the others fall asleep, stayed out of trouble. Catnap and I..we were like day and night. Two peas in a pod. He brands me a heretic now, but...somehow, I don't believe he likes doing so. Maybe..he hasn't forgotten our friendship, after all."

'Well, stringing someone up by belts and ripping off half their body doesn't sound like something a good friend would do..' You thought to yourself, although you understood where he was coming from.

Yet it didn't change the fact you still wanted to kill that stupid purple cat. Especially after he gave you that hellish nightmare of Huggy crawling out of a television.

"I know you wanna believe there's still good in him, but..he's long gone." You shook your head. "Those critters..they tried crawling inside your body, and he was just gonna allow it all because you didn't wanna follow the Prototype's will."

"........"

Silence was your only reply, but you decided to shift your focus back on repairing the other leg. Dogday allowed you to work, no longer protesting as he instead looked at the stitches on his arms, feeling grateful yet unworthy at the same time.

Him and the others...they were all monsters. He never killed a single human in his existence (or at least none that he could recall), but he felt like he was just as terrible as those who did.

Eventually, you finished, and his ears perked up at your sigh of relief as you set down your tools and pushed the cart away. "There we go. Try to stand up, but take it slow. Okay?"

He nodded, feeling quite nervous as he looked at his legs, before he slowly pushed himself off the ground. For a few moments, he was able to stand, but he wobbled a little and had to hold onto the nearest wall so he didn't lose balance.

'When was the last time I had my legs? It's been so long...'

Then he felt your grabpack's hands gently steady him, and soon enough he could stand on his own without their support.

You smiled and retracted them. "How do you feel?"

"Much better...thank you, angel." Dogday looked down at you, the corners of his wide smile turning further upwards. "You truly are something divine. You've come to heal us, mend all of our broken pieces, even when we do not deserve such kindness. How could I ever repay you?"

Right as you were about to respond, you heard sounds of plush feet moving and turned around, seeing Kissy and Poppy entering the room.

You didn't really he'd nearly be as tall as Huggy's spouse.

"You fixed him! What can't you do?" The redhaired doll gasped in awe, hopping onto Kissy's hand before she was carefully transferred over to Dogday's paws, stepping into them.

He held her gently, smiling. "Poppy."

"It's so good to see you, my friend." She smiled, although it was quick to disappear. "I thought all of you were gone."

"It's just me now, and...I'm....I-I'm...." He began to sniffle, his voice breaking as the weight of everything that's happened came crashing down. "I'm so sorry...I tried so hard, but...I-I failed! I couldn't protect them!"

Thin streams of tears seeped from the corners of his eyes, darkening the fur along his cheeks. "Kickin'...B-Bobby..they all died because of me! I was supposed to be their leader, but all I did was lead them to their demise! I-I should have joined them in-"

"There, there..it's going to be alright." Poppy softly hushed him, patting his arm in comfort. "You did your best to protect them given the circumstances. I promise we'll have our chance to avenge them. But you must live, for their sake..and for [y/n]'s sake, too. They went through a lot to fix you up."

"I know but..I-I'm so scared. I don't wanna face him alone-"

"You won't be alone, because I'm gonna take care of him."

With another sniffle, Dogday looked down at you, feeling you gently petting his ear as another comforting gesture. Your eyes held nothing but sympathy and heartache for this poor creature. "I'm sorry, but we have to put him down. It's the only way we can move forward."

"Are you sure?" He mumbled. "He's gotten more powerful, and hungry-"

"So were Huggy and Mommy, but I saw how [y/n] dealt with them..and they're more than capable." Poppy remarked. "But now that Catnap's onto them, they'll need all the protection they can get."

"Then..I'll do my best to help." He finally declared, smiling at you.

You blinked, surprised that he was willing to stand up against the one who tortured him. But you simply nodded and smiled back, watching as he returned Poppy to Kissy, before he turned back to you and crouched down.

He enveloped you in a warm hug, the vanilla scent still seeping from his suit and helping you feel more at ease.

"Thank you, Dogday." You chuckled, hugging him back.

"No..thank you, my guardian angel. I will follow you to the ends of the earth."

[woso-dreamzzz]

Leaving VIII

Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader

Summary: You win Olympic gold

Alexia will be the first to admit that she doesn't understand tennis.

She gets it from an objective stand point like how she gets football. Two teams (two opponents) meet on the pitch (the court) and kick the ball around (hit the ball over the net) to score a goal (get a point).

The scoring for tennis confuses her as does the terminology.

She doesn't get the words they use like ace and deuce and double fault.

She kind of thinks a double fault is like a foul but she still can't understand how because you're not tackling anyone.

Either way, Alexia doesn't understand tennis but this is a final and even though she's got her own quarter final today, she's still travelled to Paris to watch you.

You're against Zheng.

She knocked out Iga but now she's against you.

You've played her once before in at the United Cup and she'd knocked you out as well.

This was revenge though.

You serve hard and fast or, at least Alexia presumes you do.

You're wearing your Barcelona cap and your gold Nike shoes and you look like an absolutely beast on the pitch (the court). You hit the ball viciously, catching Zheng off guard completely with the force of your shots.

"Has she got somewhere to be today?" Eli says, a little laugh escaping her as you breeze through the first set.

Alexia frowns. "No? I don't think so. I think her only plans are to go back to bed."

Alba laughs. "It was a joke, Ale. Mama thinks Y/n has somewhere else to be which is why she's getting through the set so fast."

"Wait, is she going too quickly?"

Alba sighs. "You've been to countless tennis matches, Alexia. How do you not understand it yet?"

"They're complicated!"

"She literally hits the ball over the net!"

You seem anxious to get the match started up again, wiping off what little sweat you've produced and drinking half of your water. You don't even reach for your energy gel or anything of the like.

You're up on the court as soon as you can be, bouncing around on your feet, kicking up some of the clay dust underfoot.

Zheng serves next but that's all she really ends up doing because, yet again, you dominate.

Alexia can feel the atmosphere swell from the audience and gets the funny feeling that she's missing something again.

Her head ping pongs around trying to keep the ball in sight.

There's an uproar in the crowd as Zheng swings.

And misses.

Alba's on her feet, fist pumped up in the air and a cry of triumph out of her mouth.

Eli's got her hands covering her mouth in shock.

Just lower down, Alexia can see your training partner and coaching team celebrating.

You're grinning. You kiss your racket before turning to face your family.

You bow, the exact same pose and the exact same way Alexia did at Camp Nou and at the Champion's League final.

You come up, grinning before bursting into tears.

You move to your coaching team first, being drawn into a hug by everyone including Iga.

"Should I start getting worried about my space as number one?" She teases but all you can do is let out a wet little laugh.

You make your way up to your family next.

Alexia gets to you first.

She may not understand tennis but she knows a winner when she sees one.

She gets to you before anyone else, tugging you into a hug.

You've always been smaller than Alexia. That was to be expected but you'd shot up around puberty, growing like a weed.

She's glad that you're still smaller than her though, still small enough the she can easily hold your face in her hands and kiss your forehead.

You smile at her, sniffling.

"I won."

"Yes."

Your smile widens. "You didn't even realise."

"What?! Yes I did!"

"Don't lie. I saw you. You thought we were meant to go for another set."

"What's a set?"

Laughter overtakes your tears, bubbling out of your throat at the clueless look on your sister's face.

"No, seriously, what's a set? Is it like the two different halves?"

"Don't worry about it, Ale."

"No, wait, I want to know! Did you already have halftime? The match went kind of quick. Surely you should have had halftime before it finished?"

You're properly laughing now and behind Alexia, you think Alba and Eli are laughing too.

"Does it really matter?" You tease," I just won Olympic gold."

"No, I guess not."

There's silence between the two of you for a moment before you shriek.

Alexia lifts you like you weigh nothing, like you're just that little kid again with a scraped knee and pigtails.

Like you're not the Olympic tennis champion.

[weebsinstash]

Sitting here watching that clip of Valentino with that demon girl going "you're gorgeous! Do you need a job? 🥰" and started thinking of Val either intentionally or unintentionally making Reader feel massively insecure and ugly and Val using that to manipulate them

I've mentioned "oh what if your job is serving him drinks at his club" but what if he also starts dragging you along when he goes out like some kind of weird PA. Like he's just throwing random bills at you that he clearly isn't counting like it's pocket change in a very "yeah sure whatever just do it bitch" kind of way so you put up with it, it's good income, but it's still... WEIRD. He's going to get his antenna done at the salon, and you're like. Having to STAND THERE beside his chair, you're not even in the lobby waiting room, you've gotta be WITH HIM, and you just get all these windows into his cunty personality where he's spoiled and mean to service workers and is a total fucking diva and it's extremely off-putting I'm sure

He's in a night club hitting on people whose bodies are absolutely insane like I'm talking GYATT city, ass and titties, you've got twunks and you've got hunks, and you're like, in sneakers, off to the side, head down playing games on your phone since you can't even put earbuds in because you unfortunately have to keep an ear open since he'll order YOU to bring drinks, not just for him, but for these complete strangers who don't even work for him too, AND he'll let them be fucking mean to you. You bring some bubble butt twink who's on Val's arm the daiquiri he asked for and he gives you a very clear look up and down before laughing, cuddling up to Val, "yeah I can SEE you need new employees 😋" and they all laugh Including Fucking Valentino

I dunno, I'm on the fence. It really changes with the story. You get the yandere who are obsessive but more abusive-adjacent and then you have the more true-blooded kind that won't accept any slander of you at all. Like can you imagine Valentino's smile just dropping off his face because some chick like, tells you you have cellulite or even something MILD like your mascara is bad or idk what are, male insults.... you have a flat ass??? And Valentino just instantly shoves them away "okay you're done bye, let the door hit you on the way out 🤭"

But today we're talking about angst and feeling fucking miserable so. Over time it just, makes you feel so horrible about yourself to go to these nightclubs. It isn't even about fucking Valentino, it's about how you're sitting here watching everyone EXCEPT YOU receive all this fawning and compliments and attention, even if Val is faking some of it just to lure in more workers. You see a girl who has the perfect skin and you run fingers over an ice pick scar on your cheek, male reader sees a guy who's tall but muscular with nice facial hair and you feel your own baby face and smaller build, there are people thinner than you, curvier than you, stronger than you, smarter than you, and you watch all of them get called gorgeous and beautiful and handsome and sexy and you're just the fucking dweeb who gets teased, mocked, BULLIED

One night Valentino is sitting there talking to another girl, "oh my gosh, honey, I would TOTALLY do body shots off of you. Hey, can we get some shots over here? .... helllooooo, I SAID can we get some shots? ...bitch if you make me repeat myself again--" and he looks over and you're not even there. It's like ice. Suddenly without warning you're not there and he doesn't know what to do because you're ALWAYS there and whenever you're not it's because he LETS YOU leave??? Like??? He's immediately standing up even if it knocks away the people hanging off of him and he's looking around, "you BETTER be in the fucking bathroom--"

And over the crowd of people he sees you on the opposite end of the club, as if you were actively trying to put as much distance between you two as possible, and you're with a guy, some big furry monster boy, and you laugh with a big smile and Valentino GRINDS his teeth as he realizes it's been ages since you laughed around him, let alone at anything HE'S said, and you're actually drinking with this guy where you would always be way too stiff and cautious around Val (although he also really wouldn't let you drink anyways, being more of a waiter when you're 'on the clock')

Obsessed with the idea of Val making Reader carry around combs and brushes to comb his antenna/fur and Val sees you using them on another guy. like I think he'd go absolutely violently fucking crazy honestly because 1. Those are HIS and he is a bougie Gucci material man like those are high quality things being used on some RANDO 2. Those are for HIM, you're using them on someone ELSE 3. The person using them on someone else is YOU, YOU'RE brushing another man, YOU'RE cuddling another man like some kind of UNGRATEFUL WHORE--

When I say you suddenly look up and you're being GRABBED, HAULED UP to your feet by your arm, grip on you so tight it's ready to fucking bruise, and Val just shoots this guy in the head, like cartoonishly powerful gun just splatters the dudes head from what should have been just a single bullet hole I'm sure. You're like vaguely traumatized and trying to tell yourself the man will regenerate and be fine but now Valentino's got a gun in his hand and he's furious and you just start CRYING. He doesn't even CARE about the people he was flirting with anymore, if he has any employees in the club with him he doesn't even call out that it's time to go, he just starts DRAGGING YOU to the limo and will just LEAVE EVERYONE there because he's in such a rage, also, have you guys seen the posts where people point out there are moth squeaking effects when he speaks sometimes. So he's just fucking mad, voice cracking, shouting, squeaking, and i think it'd be funny if he spends like 15 minutes screaming about THE GUY while he has you like all but glued to his lap on the ride home and doesn't say a single thing about what you did. Just manic ranting on his phone as he HAS to call Vox, "oh my god you wouldn't FUCKING BELIEVE what this piece of shit did in front of me, the ugliest fucking guy I've ever seen was--" and you're like trembling wondering when he's going to pivot and realize like, you were also. Intentionally willingly sitting with that guy.

But he doesn't even like. Acknowledge it that way. He just keeps ranting about the guy touching something that doesn't belong to him, he's gotta replace all his fucking combs now, oh my GOD Vox like SERIOUSLY-- and then it's probably Vox that's like, with a disinterested voice, "sooooo.... WHICH whore did this happen to again???" And Valentino without hesitating just straight up says your name, "the nerdy one, you KNOW which one I'm talking about"

And that's when you just start to blubber cause you're tired and you're tipsy and you're mentally worn down, "oh OF COURSE I'm 'the nerdy one'!! You drag me all over the fucking place and I never get any time to myself and I have to WATCH everyone ELSE have fun, and when I finally find someone who calls ME cute, calls ME pretty, you fucking SHOOT HIM!" and you're just, face in your hands crying and you can't see it as Valentino GRINS like some fucking MONSTER because, "Aw, pobrecita, is that what this is about? You're lonely? ❤️w❤️"

And you're just mad and crying and pouting and you're telling him to go fuck himself and actually starting to get a little mouthy and have an attitude with him and he doesn't even care because how upset you're getting is going right to his head. even if you don't want to, you're jealous of him giving other people attention instead of you, and now he's watching you get all upset and sniffly over it and he's so full of himself, this makes him feel so powerful that he's reduced you to this insecure bawling state, and he's rubbing your shoulders, "awwww, don't cry mami, you should've told me you were wanting some 'attention'"

At this point you could be literally slapping his hands away but he's gonna keep pulling you close to him on purpose and NOW, now he's laying on all the fucking compliments, stroking the tops of your thighs. He knows exactly what scent you're using in your hair. Oh, you're wearing the nail polish you bought during one of your first months here; he's always liked this color on you. He's commenting and bringing up things you didn't expect him to notice let alone remember about you and... you're just so weak to it.... you're lonely... and he's here... and maybe it's the smoke or his cologne or what but he smells so good, he's so close, your head feels a little funny--

The rest of your night blurs together after that, but when you wake up, you're not at your place, or the studio, or anywhere you mildly recognize. You're in a bed way too big for someone your size, and you're especially not used to SOMEONE ELSE BEING IN IT WITH YOU. Val just has you caged in all of his arms and is passed out drooling in a post alcohol, post drug, post fuckathon coma, and you can FEEL in your muscles and in your body that you two were up to some wiiiiiild shit together.

IF you may manage to sneak out of V Tower without being stopped or caught, it won't make hin suddenly forget all the things you told him, or him now knowing how it feels to have your hands on his body, or how it looks to have your big sad wet eyes looking up at him and then sparkling with one of his compliments. Usually he WANTS bitches to be gone when he wakes up but, this time? When those eyes open and you're not there? Instantly feeling rejected, mad, irritated, he can't exactly identify why, he's just MAD you ran off without telling him and he's instantly blowing up your line to figure out where you are, and now you have become a recipient of The Voice-mails

"Heeeeeeey, baby, so, it's so funny but I just woke up and I can't find you in the tower? Did you run off to get breakfast somewhere? You KNOW you shouldn't run off without telling me first; I need you to come on back here ❤️"

"-- so answer your phone you fucking SLUT!! You better not be with another fucking guy, or I swear to fucking GOD--"

"--It just stresses me out that there are so many different kinds of people down here, I worry someone might hurt you, amorcito. I can't help protect you if I'm not there, soooooo, why don't you just, tell me where you are--"

"Is this fucking funny for you, you cunt?! You get all worked up about how PATHETIC AND SAD you are and then leave me? Leave ME? ME?! You're LUCKY i even TOUCHED YOU AT ALL--"

"Heeeeeeey, oh my gosh so this is so funny ummmm, Vox just let me know that Velvette borrowed you for something, soooooooooo, please don't listen to any of those other voicemails, ok? You know how CRAZY you make me, right? Don't forget you have a shift tonight, and if you even think about not showing up, I have some hellhounds that know your scent already and they'll drag you back here by your hair, sooooo, see you later love you byeeeeee ❤️"

[house-of-angst]

Y'all mind if I talk about Present Mic's quirk for a second? Great.

So, my partner and I have been having Erasermic brainrot lately, and while we were binging content with them, I became interested in Hizashi's voice quirk. I began searching stuff about how sound/volume works, and linking it to his canon stuff.

I'll just say, the info I found makes him a pretty scary guy. It's a shame he's so underused in both canon and fanon.

Frequency

First of all, I want to talk about something everyone knows about him: his quirk is potent enough to shatter glass. Now, when it comes to decibels, it's always important to consider the time and distance a certain note is held for, since these can impact the "hit" a certain sound wave can have when influenced by effects such as the air or vibrations.

(Please keep this in mind for the reminder of this post)

When it comes to glass, however, it breaks almost instantly under the pressure of his voice. Our most constant example of this is the man's poor lenses, but there is a scene I'd like to talk about the most, it being he one where he completely shatters Shigaraki's tank.

One might argue that the glass was already weakened from Mirko's kicks, but that's honestly part of something that makes this so impressive to me; Mirko's legs are strong enough to straight-up rip a high-end Nomu's head clean off, yet this tank was tough enough to withstand two attacks from her - including her ultimate move - before starting to leak; and the fact she was heavily injured doesn't fly here, as we very clearly could see she wasn't holding back one bit.

Now, let's get technical.

According to Google, a normal tone of voice would be around 50 decibels, while the required to shatter glass would be a minimum of 105. For comparison, that's roughly the same volume as a jackhammer. Now, you might be thinking, "Oh, that's not so bad! Some singers can do that!" and you'd be right, but there's also some other things to consider. Allow me to explain.

Some singers can reach a pitch that can make glass vibrate enough for it to break, but I've personally only heard of this happening if the person has their mouth close to a smaller, empty cup, and even then the volume would be distributed around. Hizashi, on the other hand, was standing several feet away from this reinforced tank and was able to shatter it immediately, using the directional speaker around his neck to aim the volume. This would naturally require for him to hit even higher decibels, specially when you take into consideration that one's frequency must match the glass' for it to vibrate, which drastically increases when it's dampened. (Read next topic for more info on this)

And then there's his glasses which, like I've stated before, are the most common thing he breaks with his voice. Obviously, this is not directed and it's not a total shatter, but there is something to be observed; say, did you know the necessary volume for lenses to crack, when not being directly aimed at, would be that of a nearby shot from a highcaliber gun? That's roughly 140-170 decibels.

Harm factor

Boy, oh boy! I'm betting most of you were looking for this part when you clicked the read more, right? Look no further, I've got you covered, you just better remember what I mentioned before about distance and duration.

Hizashi's parents were unfortunate enough to have a mutant child that was born with his quirk already active, and I'm willing to bet a newborn doesn't have the slightest bit of control over a power as destructive as a sonic-powered voice, which immediately resulted in everyone in the room bleeding from the ears.

Sound-related ear bleeding is most commonly associated with a ruptured eardrum, which can happen at around 150 decibels and is about the same as a jet engine taking off. While a baby most likely unleashed his maximum voice power on the first breath, I believe something like that would, thankfully, only develop fully after puberty, just like with non-powered people like us, since his quirk is a drastic intensification of a common function and not a new ability altogether.

With that being said... The Finals Exam.

In this, Hizashi was standing very far and, even with the directional speakers, there were many obstacles in the way that kept him from landing direct soundwaves on the students. Regardless, Jirou's ears bled in less than 30 minutes being exposed to this.

This could have happened due to the fact that she has a hearing quirk, which would make hers much more sensitive, but let's study this, shall we? We don't have the exacts of what happened there, but the students are visibly uncomfortable upon the first soundwave, which would suggest it was at about 120 decibels upon impact (with 85 already being enough to cause damage to your ears) and being emitted even higher by him, considering distance muffles volume. Still, I think all that would be nothing compared to the scream he let out after those bugs started crawling on him, with how unfiltered that was.

With Jirou, it comes to no surprise this volume at this distance and time almost rendered her deaf, and realistically would take several months of healing time. How much do you want to bet Hizashi got a solid scolding from Shouta? I mean, it was supposed to be a challenge, but homeboy came this close to breaking her quirk.

Another thing I want to point out is that his voice is powerful enough to actually fucking launch people, and this only happens due to an event called acoustic trauma, basically meaning Hizashi can surpass supersonic levels. Although, it's important to note that this effect is caused mostly due to pressure and not so much as sound, so while it's not freakishly loud (about the same as thunder), it can still cause hearing and psychological damage.

! WARNING !

The following part contains graphic mentions of injury, and death. Do not proceed if these are sensitive topics for you.

Now, we look at the disturbing side of Hizashi's quirk. Buckle in, because it's a wild ride.

Remember what I commented earlier, about him having to hit even higher frequencies to be able to shatter Shigaraki's tank? First of all, as the doctor was sent flying, this qualifies as supersonic, but that's not all. To shatter such a protected tank, with liquid inside increasing the density, he'd have to hit over 200 decibels; which is considered extremely dangerous and most definitely fatal, as the threshold of pain is of 115-140 - this can cause damage such as crushed ear bones, ruptured lungs, or embolism. For comparison, this would come close to standing right next to a Saturn V Moon Rocket during launch, and is no longer considered a "sound" due to the vacuum.

With that being said, the man came very close to dying by Hizashi's hands (voice?) twice. Not only was he so close during the lens incident, literally being inches away from his face and in risk of getting his eardrums ruptured already, but if Mic had decided to raise his voice even more during his rage, it'd be possible for the frequency to make the doctor's inner organs malfunction, or straight-up burst from the pressure.

But that's not the worst part.

After establishing that the lethal amount of over 200 decibels would be necessary to shatter the tank given the circumstances, if he exceeded 240 and the doctor happened to be in the way of this, it would be enough to cause his head to explode upon impact. That old man better be grateful that he was standing a feet few away, and that the supersonic blast blew him away a bit more, or it'd be an immediate game over.

With all this being said, how devastating would it be for this guy to scream his rage out?

(Please keep in mind that many of the extreme cases in this are actually impossible to happen in a real-life scenario and are purely speculation!)

[moon-ayyye]

Worst fandom mischaracterisation/headcanon of each bat-associated character, in my opinion (these are in no particular order) :

1. Duke Thomas is the sane, rational, "normal" one.

Have you ever read the We Are Robin arc? Duke is fucking unhinged, his introduction was him jumping off a bridge to escape cops. This is a kid whose father is immortal and is the first metahuman in the batfam. He lost his parents in the most horrendous way possible (joker venom. They're still alive, but it's horrifying) and organised a whole gang as a child. He threw down with a green lantern and 2 shot his ass. Hopefully, this headcanon is just a product of people not really knowing the character and goes away soon once people find out more about him, when he isn't just the token black guy in a fic or a background character in batfam drama.

2. Stephanie Brown is quirky and sassy, and ONLY quirky and sassy. She's over her trauma with Black Mask and Cluemaster!!

Stephanie Brown is a very interesting character, with an origin story that is very similar to jason todd. She's been through hell, yet she constantly gets infantalised by the fandom, which gets kind of ignored in favour of talking shit about how people infantilse tim (super valid and I'll come back to it later on in this post). You most commonly see this in timsteph stories where they show her as the immature first love, and how as tim grows up, he needs to date more "serious" people, as if tim wasn't the main reason their relationship never worked. This is also common in stephcass fics, although on a smaller level. Writers tend to make stephanie the bubbly outgoing girl that balances out all of cass' angst (some of those fics are really good, but they mould steph in a specific shape so she can be a prop for cass to heal). On an even smaller scale, I've seen both romantic and platonic jaysteph stories where stephanie appears as the "good" victim who let go of her animosity to black mask and cluemaster, and so now, she can help jason let go of what happened with the joker, and bruce's abuse. Obviously, this is a disservice to both of these characters, but people tend to focus on how it's more of a disservice to jason instead of steph. Let my girl express her trauma and heal, and stop using her as a prop for other characters! She wasn't just cutesy as robin, she threw the fuck down. Her introduction included hitting tim in the head with a brick!

3. Slut/himbo Dick Grayson is reductive of his abilities as a leader, and is not only offensive to real survivors of SA, but incredibly racist towards Romani people.

Do I really need to explain this one? Dick Grayson is a symbol of hope that bruce wishes batman could be. This man is a natural born leader and has stepped up to the plate multiple times, both during his time with the titans and as batman. He's charismatic and lovable and a genuinely intelligent man, but for some reason, he gets depicted as a dumbass who has to deffer to bruce or tim or babs any time he has an issue with detective work. Yes, you can delegate. Of course, you can delegate, but going straight to tim and rattling off the case you JUST accepted doesn't make sense, ESPECIALLY if you're on seperate cases and tim or bruce have to postpone their work just to solve it for you. As for the other part, Dick has been heavily implied to be demisexual, given that he only has sex with people he has genuine feelings for. He wouldn't just sleep with any random woman who compliments his ass enough. Also, having an SA victim be characterised as a slut is both reductive of their trauma and a weird way that some authors justify how he's "over it." Really doesn't help that he was slut shamed (canonically!! why is this canon??) by the rest of the titans after sleeping with mirage, who pretended to be kori. Additionally, it's really weird if the first thing you think of when you see an attractive romani man just sleeps around. People don't say that about other conventionally attractive characters, even ones who HAVE slept around. The only character i can think of that gets characterised like this is bruce, but that's an image that he cultivated to keep batman hidden.

4. Jason Todd was always doomed by the narrative. He would have died if bruce hadn't intervened. Also, pit rage.

The tragedy of jason todd was, and always has been, that he was doomed by the AUDIENCE. He wasn't just an angry, reckless child, and calling him the angry robin is stupid and reductive. Was he angry? of course he was, but so was dick, and so was damian. Using a single word to describe a person is never going to be enough. Jason was notoriously compassionate to victims, especially women and children, and sex abuse victims. He got pissed when the system he was asked to believe in was shown to be ineffective, to the point where bruce believed he killed a man over it. The kid had a bright future ahead and loved school, modt of robin!jason's shitty qualities came from bruce and alfred compartmentaling his image and shitting on him to ease their guilt over his death. Pit rage is also a cheap way to take away his autonomy, an easy pass to explain the shitty things he's done. I like it when the pit has side effects like glowing eyes or increased healing or something, but pit rage is stupid. It's either used to force characters to forgive jason since he wasn't himself or as an angst prompt for jason, another testament to how he came back wrong, or a way to have him hurt a character to further up THEIR angst (*cough* titans tower AU fics*cough*). Yes, he did shitty things. Let him do shitty things without giving him an easy out. Otherwise, your story isn't compelling at all.

5. Feral Damian Wayne is just straight-up racist, no?

I love damian. I think that, for the most part, he's been written pretty well. However, damian suffers from the fact that he's an arab character in a post 9/11 comic, and thus there is bound to be some casual racism, both in comics (like when tim assumed he was too uncivilised to know what a handshake is) and fandom. Has damian wayne done a lot of shitty things, especially to tim? Yes, absolutely. But that doesn't make him feral. He was raised by assassins as the heir to the throne and to the greatest hero in the world, raised to think that blood relations are the only ones that matter, so of course he's dismissive of tim. He's also a prince who was raised in luxury, who was born as royalty and has experienced more opulence during his birth thsn most peoole do in a lifetime, although this opulence is extremely conditional, with horrifying requirements (the story with damian having a metal spine as a child is insane). Does it make what he did to tim right? Definitely not. Does it excuse his actions? Also no. But it does explain them, it tells us where it came from. Being traumatised and having extremely high expectations of both sides of your family doesn't make you feral.

6. Tim Drake is just a small little baby who can't function without his coffee.

Let me preface this by saying that i don't like tim drake. At all. As a huge fan of the al ghuls it was a real kick in the balls having Ra's be reduced to a creepy pedophile who wanted tim as an heir, and sent a woman to rape tim in order to carry his child. Also, I hate how DC decided to prop him up by shitting on jason todd. However, this doesn't mean that I don't enjoy his YJ run and that I don't enjoy some of his comics/fics. That being said, nothing on this earth pisses me off more than tim stans. You know the ones, the people who want damian hanged, who want dick and jason and bruce to fall to their knees and beg for forgiveness. Tim has been through an insane amount of trauma, and that's understandable, but please, for the love of god, don't create more whump for tim at the cost of other characters. You can hate damian, I wouldn't blame you, but remember that he's like 10 and tim put him on a hit list. Dick never wanted to put tim in arkham, and he didn't have time to support tim when it came to an honestly insane (although ultimately correct) conclusion. Also damian as robin was alfred's idea, and damian was the one that put on the costume preemptively, dick got pissed at damian for that. When it comes to jason, I'd say it's complicated. While titans tower was fucked up, it wasn't as bad as people made it out to be. My first introduction to the fandom was through jason todd since he was my favourite robin, and then i learned they brought him back to life when i played injustice. The number of fics and posts that mention that jason went to the tower specifically to kill tim is insane. When i got into comics, it was like whiplash; it wasn't a one-sided beatdown, tim was conscious until the end, the goofy ass robin suit jason had on, jason never slitting tim's throat (that happens in hush, and even then i don't think he really slit his throat, since the art shows that the skin was kinda nicked), all of that was wild to me. BftC is one of the shittiest comjc book runs when it comes to characterisation in general, and I've already discussed dick and tim, so it's only fair to talk about jason and tim. There's no justification here, honestly, other than shitty writing i guess. The other side of the coin is enemies to caretaker jason and tim, which is so fucking wild?? they're like 2 years apart, and tim is extremely competent, he wouldn't pass out mid patrol because he forgot his coffee.

7. Bruce Wayne doesn't believe people can change and doesn't care about Crime Alley.

For the first one, please fucking read a single comic book. Just one. Better yet, maybe research why batman doesn't kill. You know, the most popular thing about him? As for the second, it's mostly just a way to show how jason is better than bruce and how he's right to take over the alley since no one cares about it. Now I LOVE jason todd. He's my favourite comic book character of all time tied with gambit and Dr. Strange. But I hate it when you create angst or comeuppance by blatantly ignoring the chatacter and their motives. Bruce became batman so that what happened to his parents can never happen again, and this includes helping the poor people in crime alley either through patrolling there or by setting up countless charities to improve life there. You can make the case that batman avoided crime alley after jason died. It's not canon, but it would make sense. However, I dont see him ever giving up on the alley, both to prevent what happened to his parents, and to help people like his dead son. I fucking hate bruce, he's done a lot of shitty things, but making shit up just to make him worse is getting old.

8. Misc

There aren't really enough mischaracterisations about cass and babs to warrant separate paragraphs, so I'll just reiterate the infantalisation of cass and babs having no qualities outside of oracle, master hacker, and dick grayson's on and off lover.

[ebonyslasher]

Them Thangs Thanging, Unfortunately

Basically, reader is a woman who has extremely large breast. Aka ME, this shit isn't for the weak. Just wanted to write about a few struggles we have. This doesn't even cover half of it.

Big Breast!Reader x Michael Myers, Daniel Lamb, Chromeskull, and Ghostface (Danny Johnson)

-----

Growing up was a struggle. 

That statement is true for many, especially during early teenhood. Middle schoolers were the most ruthless and awkward looking individuals to exist. However, there was an extra layer of struggle for the girls who had very progressive physical development(s). Specifically, those who developed their breasts early.

That was you. And unfortunately, your breast kept growing and growing. Even through early adulthood, with your weight fluctuating, your breast kept growing. They were always big, mind you. But now, as an adult, they were humongous. And what other people called a blessing, you just called a problem. Many problems at that included: 

Price

Bra’s, already, were expensive. For one piece of specialized cloth was $30 to $40. Add onto the fact that you had big breast? Oh, now the price wanted to double. Good luck if you were so big that you had to order custom. Prepare for your soul and wallet to be hurt. Custom bras can set someone back at least $100 easy!

With Michael, it was an odd situation. He would hear you complain about the price, but never understood why. He could just steal them for you, either from the store or from a victim. You, of course, didn’t want a bra from some random, especially with blood on it. EW. His plan could work if he would remembered your size...and if they even had it in store. 

Well, price wasn’t an issue with Chromeskull! He already treated you like a queen. If you wanted, he would have someone find bras for you. That way, you don’t even need the stress of looking. You find the bras lined up on a table every few months for you to pick from. What a life!

Daniel listened to your problems and saw firsthand how much they could get up to. Eyebrows shot up at the $79 bra that sat on your screen. After his missions, he would steal money or cards off corpses to give to you. You’d find a pile laying on your desk when he couldn’t stay, with a note saying ‘For your bra troubles!’ He was so sweet.

Ghostface didn’t care. He didn’t have to pay for the bras, so not his problem! He barely listens, pretending to only see any bras you might get next. Pervert. He wouldn't mind you getting a smaller bra, trying to imagine you as those anime girls wearing the smallest bikinis. 

“So you want me to look like I'm from One Piece??! Natural breasts in real life don’t work like that dummy!”

Size availability

Speaking of One Piece, it felt like you had to travel through the seven seas just to find bras in your size. Trying to find cute ones? You’re asking for the impossible. Most stores didn’t have your size. Forget about places like Victoria's Secret and especially Aerie. Lane Bryant may have your size, unless your band size is small. So, that means you have to order your bras online. Sucks, since you couldn’t try them on before buying. 

Michael stood in the store, comically looming behind you, surrounded by multicolored bras. He noticed that your posture fell as you spoke with a store worker. “Unfortunately, we don’t carry those sizes in store. We have them online and you could get it shipped here.” No thanks. It’d just be better to get something shipped to your house. You sighed in disappointment. Michael squints his eyes at the worker. Maybe he could come back and look to see what they really have in the back…

Availability was no longer a problem thanks to Jesse. Your masked sweetheart hired a personal designer that would make bras tailored to you. And you can tell them just how cute you’d like the bra to be.

A comforting hand lands on your shoulder as you relay the issue of finding your cup and band size in store. Daniel listens on as you rant, throwing your hands up in frustration. “Of course, I’d be the one with a small band size and huge ass breast!”  While you talk, he peruses the internet for different online stores that may have your size. You two curate a list of some, avidly reading any reviews that pop up.

“Oh well, hey, maybe this gives you the excuse to not wear bras anymore. Heh, I definitely won’t mind the view,” Danny joked after you told him the news. You roll your eyes and tell him to shut up. He really doesn’t care about your dilemma, pushing you to go braless, so he could see those juicy tatas bouncing. Although, if you get on him enough and promise him something nice, maybe he could magically get you some bras.

Clothing restrictions

There were certain articles of clothing that you couldn’t wear. Sad, since there were some cute looks that you just couldn’t do logistically. Bralettes and button down shirts were the devil. You saw the bralettes trending and said, “Nope. No way I could do that”. Button down shirts were deceptive. It would work up until the point the button around your breast would pop open. Understandable, since the small button couldn’t handle the pressure of holding back such big bouncing melons. You tried again one day, hoping that the designs became better throughout the years. As you walked around, the buttons popped open. The image of soft brown breast were revealed to the world in…

Michael’s steel blues, which immediately pinpoint the wardrobe malfunction. His head slowly tilts. Michael stoically ogles, secretly licking his lips as he enjoys the view. He notices your embarrassment and frustration. He feels a little bad, but that was overshadowed by the deliciousness of your reaction. He loves seeing you get worked up. He wouldn’t mind watching you bouncing around to throw a tantrum.

Jesse’s eyeless mask gleams. He raises his eyebrows at the incident. You try to button your shirt back up. The button only stays a moment before it gives up, bouncing off the shirt for the sweet release of death. The button clinks against the marble floor. You look down in disbelief as Jesse’s shoulders shake in glee. This was the funniest thing he’s seen all week!

Daniel’s zenith blue eyes pop wide open, mimicking the poor button that flew off. His face was a light shade of pink as he observed the scene. “Oh Shit…,” he whispers. Trying not to stare at your obvious malfunction, he peers up at your face that looks beautifully frustrated at the button on the ground. His eyes were full of empathy as walks over. “How about we try another shirt, huh?,” Daniel asks as he chuckles lightly.

“Hallelujah!” Ghostface shouts as he zeros in on this fantastic view. His perverted chocolate eyes were glued to your happy accident. You scoff and cover the malfunction with your hands. The view of that amazing bosom was now obscured, which angered Ghostface. He marches over right as he says, “Hey! Don’t cover those. Ghosty wants to see!”

Back pain

These breasts weighed heavy as gravity worked against your favor. Lugging around these gigantic bust meant the pull and strain against your back muscles. Those back muscles were only so strong, which would get weaker as you got older. The random aches in the upper, middle, and lower part of your back plagued your existence. You tried your best to keep good posture, but it was tiring.

Michael will rub your back if you ask. Well, only if he gets something in exchange. Dessert, you bent over, a good meal, or a new knife. You choose and it better be the right choice depending on his mood. Be warned that Michael is heavy handed as hell. His digs feel like he’s punching through your body. It might be a while before his massages become beneficial.

Jesse will hire a professional masseuse when he's on a spree. However, he would never turn down the opportunity to knead your supple muscles. You don’t mind if he goes a little lower, right Princess? He’ll also treat you with a doctor to get some treatment options going. 

Skilled and dangerous hands rub your back, the heavenly sensation of warm oil glides with every movement. Daniel, the sweet man that he is, gladly volunteers to bring you temporary relief. If he’s unable to caress your lovely form, he leaves you some pain medicine and healing meds that he comes across. The healing meds were heavenly. He, later, suggests having a reduction so you won’t have to suffer anymore.

Danny will massage you only because he wants his hands on that perfect body. And lowkey wants you to stop complaining all the time. God, it was annoying. He frequently offers to hold your breast up as you walk around. “I’ll even hold them up out in public. Just think, you’ll have your own boobie holder everywhere you go.” That shit eating grin on his handsome face didn’t faze you. Your face scrunches at his perverted comment. You take him up on the offer…only at home. You wouldn’t admit that it was a big help for your posture. You didn’t need to, Danny could tell how much it was helping by your relieved expression.

[nihilnovisubsole]

hello! i'm asking on hehalf of a friend who wants to get into narrative design (specifically a position at IOI) but has no clue where to start, how to apply, what to include in his portfolio and CV (as he hasn't worked for someone before in that field) and i was wondering if you had any advice? pointers or what he could include to get potentially under their radar. thank you in advance!

hey! thanks for writing in!

it brings me no pleasure to say this, but if your friend has never had a gamedev job before, i'd tell him not to apply to that IOI opening. spare himself the heartache and save the effort for getting experience elsewhere. believe me, i used to hear the kind of advice i'm relaying now, and it made me furious. i hoped i'd never have to be the one giving it.

it may help to have context. any big-deal studio who posts a narrative job is going to get a minimum of several hundred applicants. if they have a reputation for being good at narrative, it could be as high as a thousand. larian (the bg3 people) probably did numbers like that with their recent opening. they tend to ask for three to five years of relevant gamedev experience, unless it's for a senior job. then it could be seven or more. wherever your friend applies, he'll be competing with hungry aspirants like him, veterans whose game got canceled, veterans who want a change of pace, devs who already live in that country and don't need a work visa, devs who are friends with the team because they worked together eight years ago, and, unfortunately, the way the industry's been these days, people who worked on Mega Unicorn All The Awards and got laid off. gross.

should studios take more chances on promising juniors? yeah, they should, but they often don't, and the reasons can be more complicated than "we're evil for the sake of it." sometimes they ask for a lot of experience because a project has hit the skids, so they need someone who can run in and put out fires with no training. sometimes they would love to promote someone internally, but some corporate who-knows-what is preventing them from doing it. (standard disclaimer that i'm not subtweeting anything. these are stories i've heard tons of times from many different devs.) the court intrigue matters, but it doesn't feel like it on the other side, where a rejection is a rejection and no job is no job. it's a shame.

i'm not saying any of that because i want your friend to give up. i'm saying it because i want him to succeed eventually. if he's really starting from nothing, punching in IOI's weight class could take a while, so i encourage him to dig in and get comfortable. he could start by looking into a narrative mentorship or groups that run workshops. i did a pixelles portfolio workshop, and it was great. it couldn't hurt to learn some tools. twine is the standard rec, though i've heard unreal looks great on a resume because many studios use it and writers who can wrestle with it are rare. but in the end, even if your friend snags a rec on the inside, it'll hinge on that portfolio. that means projects, projects, and more projects, and smaller gigs until something clicks.

i applied to obsidian in 2021, so i can't promise any of my portfolio advice is still relevant. the goalposts move from year to year and studio to studio. samples that are crucial for call of duty would be irrelevant to a dating sim. this is why i'm pointing your friend toward workshops and mentorship: they stay up-to-date on this stuff and can give more tailored help. in the meantime, a good friend of mine made a video about how to make a game writing portfolio if he'd like to check it out.

as a parting shot, i'll also link this bluesky thread where my other friend addresses a lot of the anxieties i've brought up here. she's not afraid to be frank, but remains optimistic that your friend should keep his options open and keep trying. i hope he smashes through that ceiling one day!

[inlovewithgreta]

Hiii!!!I love your works, I binge read the milf one shots all the time especially Joan's.

I was hoping you could do a story where Joan finds out that the reader has nipple piercings mixed in with a protective thing. Like joan overhears some coworkers or strangers at a bar talking abt reader and are talking abt whether reader has piercings or not and how they would react/do to reader to find out. Obvi joan doesn't like it and just wants to shield the reader from the world (but hasn't told her of her feelings yet) and whisks her away.

Piercings - Joan Ferguson x Fem!Reader

Summary: A night out at the local bar reveals more than just mutual feelings.

Warnings: praise, legal age gap, body worship, reader has nipple piercings, men being gross, protective Joan, mentions of drugs, mentions of alcohol, alcohol consumption, oral sex, vibrator usage, squirting, etc…

Word Count: 4.2k

Taglist: @celasteria @bellatrixsbrat @janewaykove @secretsofthewilde @goforgreat

© Do not copy, repost, or modify any of my works.

To say you admired Joan would be an understatement. She was the best boss you could ever ask for. Taking you under her wing, teaching you to be the best version of yourself, protecting you from harm's way, and even listening to your ramblings about the importance of bonding in the workplace.

Which is exactly what led to today's events.

Where all of your coworkers, including yourself and Joan, were all gathered at a local bar to celebrate Joan's most recent drug bust and all of the hard work the rest of you put into helping clean the prison.

And it just so happened to be your Birthday as well. Yet the only person who knew that, was Joan herself as she was your employer. The person who knew everything about you.

You only knew that she knew because you had not told your coworkers. None of them wished you a Happy Birthday. But she did, when the only way you were able to fully convince her to come, was by admitting to her that today was your special day.

To say Joan was protective over you was an understatement. You were smaller, shorter, more fragile than she was. The first time you were injured on the job, she nearly put her hands on the prisoner who did it. And drunk men at a bar, was always a disaster waiting to happen.

She didn't know what overcame her. Never had she once thought she would be so protective over another person. Not once had it crossed her mind that she would feel anything for anyone.

Yet here she was, sitting shoulder to shoulder with you in the corner most area at a local bar. A place she despised going. Bars were filthy. Full of germs... full of drunk men. But one simple ask from you was all it took for her to cave in.

These past few months of you being her Deputy were the most stress-free months she's ever had being the Governor. And it was all thanks to your lighthearted attitude, your determination, and your eagerness to please her.

"I'm going to get another drink.." You said, leaning in towards your boss, who was playing with the thin straw to her own nearly empty drink. "Would you like another? It's on me.." You asked, with a small smile.

"No thank you.." She grumbled.

"C'mon," you playfully whined. "Loosen up a little bit, Governor. Just for tonight.. For me? Please??" You gave the woman your best pleading look, which instantly shattered her highly built walls and won her over.

"Fine. But just one more." She raised her pointer finger.

"Yes! See, I knew you had it in you to have some fun," you teased, earning an eye roll from Joan.

You turned to leave, but Will and Linda were to your left, deep in conversation and blocking your exit. While on your right, sat Joan, and a pile of everyone's jackets.

The Governor sensed your hesitation as she watched your eyes glance from your left, then right to her lap, to the pile of jackets, and to the bar as you thought of your way out.

Knowing she would have to touch whoever's clothing was to her right, led her to say the words that came out of her mouth next.

"Just climb over my lap," she stated.

Your eyes widened at her words, and you were hoping she didn't notice the rising heat in your cheeks and flush of crimson that quickly spread across your features.

"C'mon, before I change my mind," she insisted.

You swallowed and nodded your head, carefully moving yourself over her. With her being so tall, and the table being so short, you had to sit in her lap very briefly to fit between her and the table, and you swore that even over the loud, blaring music, that you heard Joan suck in a breath.

You instantly felt warmth flood your body at the gentle touch of her hands finding your hips for a mere second to help you finish crossing over her and find your footing.

You didn't dare look back, wanting to avoid your boss seeing your flushed face. And you internally screamed at yourself for the instant gay panic you felt when her hands just barely touched you as you only briefly sat in her lap. A place you never thought you'd find yourself in.

Joan's gaze never left you as she watched you make your way to the bar. Now that you were alone, she felt the need to keep you in her eyesight.

Yet words from her left drew her attention back to your coworkers that were already nearly drunk, babbling, and saying your name. The others were too invested in their conversation to notice Joan still seated there.

All of their eyes were on you, but not in the same way Joan's was.

"Aye, do you reckon those are piercings?" One of the men asked.

"What do you mean?" Linda asked.

"She's not wearing a bra, Smiles. Just look at her chest. You can see something poking out. Looks like piercings."

As you were leaning against the bar, waiting for the two drinks you ordered, your eyes scanned the crowd before landing on Joan. You swore your heart stopped when dark brown eyes were already looking at you.

You gave her a small smile. A smile only you gave to her.

None of the others would even dare to crack one around her. Yet you of all people, did it quite often.

Joan however, didn't reciprocate it. As the words flooding in her ears had her hands turning into fists in her lap.

"I can't really tell," Linda said.

"Well she's showered and changed around you, hasn't she? You have to know if she does or not," another one of the men chimed in.

"I'm not staring at her chest!" She shook her head, but continued the conversation, "Why don't you find out for yourself, big guy," she nudged him.

"You reckon she'd go for me?" He straightened his back, now intrigued even more. "I'd do anything to find out," he said, downing the rest of his drink.

Joan seethed, nose twitching from anger as she hastily made her way out of the booth. She was quick to her feet, keeping eye contact with you as you followed her movements.

The same man unbuttoned his collared shirt ever so slightly to let his chest hair be seen by the public eye as he straightened himself up and made his own way out of the booth.

"Sorry for the wait, the bartender is swimming in orders so it might take a minute," you stated, as soon as Joan came in earshot.

"How about we lose the drinks and get out of here, hmm?" She asked, cutting straight to the point. "I can make far better ones back home for a whole lot less," she offered.

"Oh, okay! B-but what about—" you went to point towards the table where your coworkers sat, but Joan was quick to loop her arm around yours and pull you away with a rushed "forget them".

Joan herself was partially surprised with how quick you were to leave with her without any sort of hesitancy. It made a pool of warmth spread throughout her stomach. It was a strange feeling, yet she welcomed it.

Her salt and peppered hair fanned your neck at her closeness when she grabbed both her coat and yours, and helped you wrap it around your body to keep you warm.

Luckily, you got a ride from a cab, and didn't have a car to worry about. Once the two of you walked outside, you were hit with a thousand pellets of rain. It was cold. Freezing cold. And instantly drenched the two of you.

"Christ..." Joan muttered, before grabbing hold of your hand, pulling you from your daze, and walking unbearably fast towards her car.

Joan felt bad for you. Wearing such a small dress with so much skin showing, and now soaking wet. Your hand was cold, so the second she unlocked the car door, she held the passenger door open for you, and nearly shoved you in.

The last thing she needed was you getting sick. That means no work. And when you aren't at work, she doesn't get to see you.

And Joan needed to see you.

The ride back to Joan's place was quiet, yet comfortable. Quiet music played through the speakers, and the air from the vents gave you a nice warmth.

You felt eyes on you every so often. Joan couldn't help but check up on you. No, you weren't drunk, but you definitely had a good buzz. Which easily explained your giddy smile and fascination with the passing lights outside your window.

Joan couldn't help but shake her head with a small smile toying at her lips. You truly were the complete opposite of her.

She led you into her house with great care, but the second she took off your coat, the coldness returned. You were soaking wet, and your arms instinctively wrapped around yourself.

"Come with me," Joan ordered.

And as usual, you did.

You were then met with her bedroom. A very clean bedroom. And it didn't surprise you one bit as you looked around, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

Joan rummaged through some drawers before handing you an oversized sweater and a pair of sweatpants. "It's not much, but they will have to do. Keep you warm. Come downstairs after you've changed", she smiled softly, hands brushing against yours as she handed you her clothes and left you alone.

They were a bit baggy, but Joan was right... They did keep you warm. And when you breathed in, all you could smell was her.

And it was intoxicating.

Making your way back downstairs, Joan was in the kitchen, but your mind was focused on something else.

Her fencing swords. The tall glass cabinet held an enormous amount of swords. Each one is slightly different from the other. It was truly mesmerizing.

It was clear Joan took great pride in her hobbies, and all you could think about was her training with them. The sword, the gloves, the stance. How tight her gear would be on her body.

God, her body. Her curvaceous body. The way the fabric would stretch around her luscious ass when she would go to bend over—

"Each one of these I've used in a competition and won," Joan quietly stated, jumping you out of your dirty minded thoughts.

"Oh!-" You thought it was just the smell of her shirt that invaded your nostrils, but it was her. The close proximity gave you chills. She was close. Dangerously close. So close where you could smell her, feel her breast against your back, while her free hand rested gently against your shoulder.

The same hand that pretended to pick lint from your shoulder, when there wasn't really any. She just needed a reason to touch you.

"T-That's amazing," you gazed at her. "You must be very talented."

"More than you know, darling." She toyed. "Here, drink this. Will help with the intoxication and make you feel good."

"Thank you," you smiled at her, accepting the tall glass of water before taking a long sip.

You closed your eyes at the refreshing taste and let out a small hum of approval, but the words that came out of Joan's mouth next, had your eyes snapping right back open.

"Good girl," she quietly praised, letting her pointer finger draw imaginary circles along your shoulder. She was eyeing you. Watching your every reaction. Ensuring you listened.

"But, I'm not intoxicated... I'm all here," you whispered. "And I don't need water to make me feel good," you said, taking another small sip to hide the immediate blush spreading across your nose and cheeks.

Of course you had an alternative meaning to your words. How could you not be with her? And with the slight buzz that you still had, the alcoholic courage was still coursing through your veins.

But what you hadn't expected, was for Joan to lick her lower lip, and take the glass from your hands. Your eyes watched with much intrigue as she nearly chugged the rest of the water.

It was so out of character for Joan. And yet, this one small action turned you on immensely. It was all new and exciting, watching her do things she normally would never do. But you knew she only was doing it because of you.

"So, what makes you feel good then?" She asked, quirking a brow in response.

"Oh— y'know, uh— the usual stuff," you choked out. At this point, your face was more crimson than Joan had ever seen it, and she bit her lower lip to hold back a smirk.

To get her focus off your face, you quickly took the empty glass from her hand, and scurried towards the kitchen.

Joan was having fun with you now. It was all too easy. You were putty in her hands. Completely at her mercy. And she knew, in this moment, it was time to make her move.

You were right where she wanted you.

As you set the glass carefully in the sink, Joan was right behind you. Right behind you. Arms rested along the counter on either side of you.

"Let me help you," she whispered in your ear.

"W-what?" you completely froze.

"Don't play stupid. As cute as it is, you and I both know what I'm talking about. Now do you want me to or not? I will not be repeating myself."

"Please," you whimpered. You were unable to get anything else out of you.

"Please what?" She asked.

"Please fuck me, Joan..."

Joan let out a long, hot, yet partially shaky breath at your words. She knew it was coming, and yet it still made her shiver in excitement.

You were scared when Joan didn't move. It was unbearable. The long silence was insufferable, and for a moment you thought you had ruined everything.

That was, until a warm set of lips were plastered across the side of your neck. You couldn't help but suck in a breath. You've thought about this moment over and over again, but it actually happening was so much better.

"Go upstairs to my bedroom and wait for me," she mumbled into your soft skin before pulling away.

For a moment, you froze, not believing what was actually about to happen. But, a forceful smack to your ass pulled you out of your daze.

"Go on, I'll only be a minute," Joan reassured.

With shaky legs, you scurried your way back up the stairs and into Joan's bedroom. Your eyes fell on the bed, and fingers instinctively reached down to trace the soft material.

Time felt as if it was moving slow, making it seem like Joan was taking her sweet time. And maybe she was, as another ploy to toy with you and your impatience.

The door creaked open as you sat yourself down, your eyes instantly landing on Joan as she sauntered in. She had a newly filled glass of water in her hand, and her hair was now out of its ponytail, falling freely down her shoulders.

Fuck, what a sight that was.

She intended to give you the water later, needing you to stay hydrated on her. She planned on taking care of you. In more than one way.

After setting the glass on the bedside table, Joan made her way to you, standing intimidatingly tall in front of you. The way your eyes looked up at her. So full of excitement, innocence, and an eagerness to please.

Fingers grasped at your chin, forcing your gaze to stay hooked on her. "Do you want this?" She asked, in a low, raspy voice.

Your mouth fell agape, yet nothing came out.

"I'm not moving until you answer me, love. It's a simple question. Now use that pretty little head of yours and answer me."

"Y-Yes, God, yes. Please. I want it so bad. I want you so bad." Your hand instinctively pulled Joan in closer by the one that was already touching you.

Before you even had a chance to think, Joan was pinning you down against the bed and had her lips all over yours. A whimper escaped your throat when eager hands hooked under your shirt and traced their way up your stomach.

Joan let out a muffled groan when her fingers touched metal. Piercings. More specifically, nipples piercings.

And fuck, did she need to see them.

"Take my clothes off," you stated, reading her mind. "A-And yours. I want to see you, Joan. All of you. Please!"

Hands skillfully ran over bodies, clothes fell to the floor, and skin met skin as you both quickly and skillfully became naked in front of one another.

Joan took a second to break from the kiss, which easily elicited a whine from you from the detachment. "I'm not going far," she chuckled lowly. "I just want to admire you for a minute," she said, as her dark, lustful eyes scanned your naked body beneath her.

You would normally feel insecure in moments like this, but with Joan, it felt different. The way she gazed down at you, with hands roaming your smooth skin until they grasped at your tits.

Your back arched as her thumbs played with your nipples, and her eyes wandered over the jewelry decorating your tits.

"God, you're beautiful."

Joan took her time to trace every inch of your body, wanting to memorize every nook and cranny. Every dip. You were a work of art right in her bare hands.

"So fucking beautiful," she cooed. You shivered as salt and pepper hair tickled your skin as her lips attached themself to your neck. "And now you're all mine."

"Mine to admire." Kiss. "Mine to please." Another kiss. "Mine to cherish." Another kiss, followed by a deep suck to the skin along your collarbone. "Mine to keep," she finished off her sentence while admiring the newly formed mark she made.

"All yours, Joan..." you wiggled beneath her as her head dipped lower.

Her cold tongue swirled along your nipple before pulling the hardened bud between her lips and sucking. Your back arched, pushing your tits further into her mouth.

The other tit was given just as much attention as the first, Joan ensuring each one got the same amount of treatment.

"Such perfect tits. God really took his time with you," she cooed. Joan kissed, nipped, and licked her way further down your body.

She settled herself between your legs, immediately feeling the warmth between them as she sucked another mark into your inner thigh.

Your eyes were watching her like a hawk, enjoying the way her salt and peppered hair fell down her back. How her ass rose in the air as she kissed towards your cunt.

"And a pretty little pussy too," she groaned.

Your fingers pushed away the salt and pepper strands covering Joan's beautiful face. You wanted to watch her intently as her tongue dove into your cunt.

"Fuck..." You let out a shaky breath. Joan first planned on taking her time with you, but the second she tasted you, a ferocious energy took over her.

Her tongue swirled your clit before she sucked with all her strength. Quiet whimpers were quick to fly from your mouth. She was skillful with her ministrations. Knowing when to suck, to flick her tongue, to let out a low groan to add in a vibrational pleasure.

"You taste so good," she stated. "I'm never going to get enough of you."

Joan hiked your leg over her shoulder to push herself deeper into your pussy. Her tongue poked and prodded, swiping your juices all around your cunt as she lapped ferociously at you.

"That feels so good..." you moaned out, fingers clutching at not only her hair, but the sheets beneath you.

Joan can feel her own slick dripping down her thighs as she eats you out. Her own neediness to orgasm growing with each passing second. But, she needed you to come first.

Your thumb and forefinger twist your nipple while your hips jerk involuntarily in Joan's face. Your orgasm is fast approaching as you watch her between your legs.

"Come for me, beautiful," she coaxed. "Let me taste more of you."

The lewd noises between your legs, and Joan's praising words were more than enough to send you spiraling. Your whole body feels weak, but you push through.

"Good fucking girl," she praised. Joan lapped up your juices, savoring each and every drop as your legs shook around her.

After licking you nearly clean, Joan slithered up your body. Full, wet lips smashed roughly against yours, wanting you to taste yourself as her tongue worked its way into your mouth.

The kiss was heated. Wet. And sloppy.

And your hands desperately grasped at Joan's curvaceous hips. They slipped over the full curves to reach around and grab roughly at her thick ass that was far too big for your hands.

Your hands stayed put, even after Joan broke the kiss to allow both of you a moment to get air back in your system.

"You're so fucking beautiful, you know that?" She asked, fully aware that you were too dazed to respond by the glassy, fucked out look in your eyes.

"Fucking perfect," she whispered against your lips as she kissed you once more. This time it was sweeter, and softer than before.

"But don't think I'm done with you just yet, sweet girl. I know you can give me one more."

You whimpered at her words, and watched as she leaned over towards her nightstand, opened the drawer, and pulled out a wand.

Joan watches your facial and body movements intently, awaiting some sort of 'okay' before she continues her actions.

"P-Please," you cried out.

She bit her bottom lip, repositioning herself above you in a purposeful position.

The hum of the vibrator came to life after hearing your words, your eyes eagerly watching as Joan lowered the toy closer towards you.

"Joan—" you let out a shaky breath as she pressed the toy against your hardened nipple. With the piercings, your tits were more sensitive, and Joan quickly came to find that information out when a moan came out of your mouth.

Fuck, this was hot.

She swirled the toy around your nipple, before doing the same to the other. After all, she had to be fair. Joan couldn't keep her eyes off your tits, watching as they beautifully shook with each breath you took, and the way your piercings perfectly adorned them.

Joan's hand fell further, dragging the wand down your sternum towards the spot she couldn't wait to put it against.

Your hips jerked before the toy even came into contact with you. Your nerves and excitement were coursing through your veins.

Joan leaned in slightly, letting her lips hover over your own as she opened her mouth to speak.

"Come with me."

Fuck.

You cried out when Joan pressed the wand firmly against your puffy clit, the sensitivity immediately making you shake. She pushed her own hips forward, and let out her own deep, sinful moan as she joined you with her clit feeling the same vibrations.

You swallowed hard, and Joan sucked in a deep breath before letting out another moan. Her moans were laced with steel, and each one was embedded into your brain in an instant.

"Fuck— I can't—" you whined.

Your hands grasped at the one holding the vibrator to move it, but in one quick movement, Joan used a large hand to pin your wrists above your head.

"Wait for me," she said sternly.

Your body shook as electricity shot through your veins. Tears formed at the corners of your eyes, begging to drop, only to be wiped away by tender kisses from Joan's lips.

"Such a good girl for me," Joan smiled against your lips before giving you a tender peck. "So fucking good." Her hips rutted against the toy, adding more pressure to you, causing a loud, broken moan to escape.

Joan's dark, hungry eyes were devouring you as she watched you slowly break in front of her. Tears freely fell from your eyes. The need to come taking over your entire body.

"Joan, please—" your head shook as your nails dug into her porcelain skin.

"Now. Come— fuck!"

Joan bit your lower lip hard, nearly bruising the tender area. Even though she was right there, Joan waited for you to orgasm first.

You sobbed out her name, the coil finally snapping in your body, and allowing pleasure to rip through you completely. Joan watched you with satisfaction, before allowing herself to succumb to the pleasure.

"That's my girl..."

It was slick, wet, and came gushing out of her before she even had a coherent thought. She coated your pussy, thighs, and drenched the sheets beneath you as she came. Hard.

She tensed above you, toes curled, and moans mixed with yours in a sinful, harmonic symphony.

"Fucking christ..."

Joan leaned her forehead against yours, waiting until you let out an involuntary whine at the overstimulation before she turned the wand off and tossed it carelessly to the side.

You couldn't think, or even move for that matter. Just watched, as Joan breathed heavily above you, gently using her one clean hand to cup your face.

You were twitching beneath her, the aftershocks of your orgasm still prominent. You were a mess beneath her, and boy was that a sight for her to see.

She smirked at the sight. She was proud of herself.

When her own legs stopped shaking, Joan reached towards the nightstand again, but this time grabbed the glass of water. She brought the iced glass to your lips, allowing you to drink the refreshment.

She urged you to hold the glass yourself so she could move. You went to whine in protest, but the stern look on her face shut you right up. She was only gone momentarily to return with a warm, wet washcloth to clean you up.

You watched as she was careful and gentle, knowing you were now very sensitive.

No words were spoken, yet so much was said as she wiped you clean and took complete care of you first without a second thought.

You were falling.

Falling for Joan Ferguson.

general masterlist | pamela masterlist | taglist

[amazinglyegg]

Due to not being able to find a decent reference for Danse's room, I used this video to sketch out a floor plan!!

Along with references for what all the furniture looks like:

Details and rambling below the cut!

General notes:

The only time we see his room is after Blind Betrayal. I wonder if he brought anything from his room with him, despite leaving the duffle bag near the door?

He has a ton of storage space. Like, a lot. He doesn't even have a footlocker at the end of his bed it's just an entire metal box.

Despite that, he has nowhere to sit. Not even his desk has a chair.

Also he has a rug between his bed and his big drawer! Cute!

Pet food bowl near his door with fresh bloatfly meat in it. Not only does he manually open the door for Emmett to enter and leave (no cat door), but Emmett visits often enough that he goes out of his way to give him a bowl of fresh food! Does Quinlan even feed him!?

Has a lot of random cardboard boxes filled with papers and stuff on his floor. Given that the filing cabinet is for files, I wonder if these are books or journals?

Has a plain old bed with no pillows or blankets. Like most beds, this is probably done for game reasons (like animations or clipping) instead of canon reasons. At least I HOPE he sleeps with a blanket!!

On top of his safe is three dog food cans, maybe supposed to represent cat food. Also has a can of cram on his big drawer. I wonder if he stores more food in there!

The flag is actually a smaller one, but I couldn't find the exact model on the wiki. I find it interesting that he has a pole flag instead of a regular wall one. It just looks so sad :(

Has a lot of small blue and wood boxes around his room that I didn't include in the floor plan, they're empty I'm pretty sure

I didn't realize people outside of middle school used lockers, especially SIX of them. What do you even store in lockers?? Can't be clothes since they have multiple segments, hung clothes wouldn't fit and folded clothes would probably fall out.

No real personal stuff like holotapes or journal entries. I would have expected something unique! He also has no decorations other than that one sad droopy flag, but I guess it'd be hard to hang up paintings when the walls are made of metal. Can't just hammer a nail into that!

As a note, I think items within storage containers are randomized, so I didn't bother looking at them while making this.

Desk and filing cabinet:

Whisky and vodka bottles, no shot glass in sight. He is chugging those straight from the bottle. Not as many bottles as Maxson, at least!

Also an entire carton of cigarettes and an ashtray. He canonically smokes and doesn't even bother going outside to do it, his room must reek of cigarettes.

A food tray and mug, which is... interesting? Does he often eat alone in his room?

Filing cabinet for files, probably does paperwork at this desk as well.

Drawers:

Has like, three wrenches, as well as a tool box. This must be his workshop!

A lunch pail and a nuka cola. This table is right next to his desk so it makes sense he has food and drinks here. Surprised there's no water!

Speaking of the table... it's an institute table. Probably just done for aesthetic purposes, but I found that interesting

Let me know if you have any opinions, headcanons, or things I missed!

[buddietommy-week]

You voted for them, they are here! I am pleased to release the official prompts for BuddieTommy Week 2024.

You'll find four prompts each day, including one NSFW and one line of dialogue. You can use as many of the prompts (yes, even just one) or create as many works as you wish.

Day 1: Hurt/Comfort /(Over)Protectiveness | First Time in a Poly Relationship/Figuring it out | Size Queen | "X! I swear to god, put me DOWN!" Day 2: Bodyguard AU | Secret Relationship | (Consensual or not) Somnophilia | "If you really think we don’t feel anything for you, then you’re more stupid than we thought." Day 3: Soulmates | Competency Kink | Praise Kink/"Good Boy" | "Okay, don't be alarmed, but I may or may not have been shot." Day 4: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics | They brag about each other when the others are not around | Bondage | "Care to join?" Day 5: BDSM Dynamics/AU | Carrying/Being carried | Body Worship | "Why not both?" Day 6: Call Gone Wrong | Fake Relationship | Sex Toys/Object Insertion | "Get your hands off him." Day 7: Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby | Borrowing Clothes | Cockwarming | "Oh, don't mind me. I'm just enjoying the view."

If you feel disappointed that a certain prompt didn't make it, don't worry, the bonus week is for you. Below, you'll find a smaller list of prompts. You're not obligated to choose these, they're merely there for those who'd prefer to be confined to a set of prompts. You can draw inspiration from the list of prompts here.

Have fun creating!

Bonus Week (optional):

Day 1: 5+1 Things | “Casual/Public sex is normal” AU/Voyeurism/Exhibitionism. Day 2: Werewolves/Vampire AU | "How's the nervous breakdown coming along?". Day 3: Crime Lord/Mafia AU | "Actually, you look kinda hot in heels." Day 4: Porn Star/Stripper/Sex Work | "I'd never regret choosing you." Day 5: Hiding Injuries | Possession Kink. Day 6: Friends with Benefits | Monsterfucker. Day 7: Sharing a bed | "He doesn't know, does he (/they)?"

UPCOMING SCHEDULE:

BUDDIETOMMY WEEK: August 5 – 11, 2024 Bonus Week: August 12 – 18, 2024

This event will be accepting any and all late works, including those posted after the Bonus Week. Simply mention us @buddietommy-week and your work will be reblogged. The AO3 collection will also remain open and ready to welcome any of your creations all year around.

Questions? Comments? Check out our RULES and FAQ, or send us an ask.

[stormblessed95]

Watching Are You Sure?! EP 8 Finale

A reminder of how I do these reaction posts as I watch things. I just write my reactions and thoughts down literally they happen. Think more of a bullet point format. I'll include links when I can to videos, thanks to the people who twt who upload clips and to @dstdes for providing so many of my linked video clips. And at the end, I'll do a better wrap up of all my opinions. I hope everyone enjoyed the show, I can't believe it's over!!

JK turning on Korea's top hits on the radio and both their songs playing one after the other. They KNOW they are powerful. I like them seeing/hearing that evidence though first hand 🥰 Jikook can't be separated, even on the radio!*

JK mentioning the Park Jimin summoning spell 😭😂 lmfao I love it

"this is the boyfriend shot" Jimin says THREE TIMES IN A ROW. we get it, he said this is what it looks like to go out on a date with Jungkook. And Jimin is the one who gets to do that 😅😂🥰🥰🥰 goodness. What was that Jimin? Lol honestly though, it was a cute and cozy picture!

Did the head chef just gift them one of everything on the menu?! Lmao they have so much food!!

JK telling Jimin to basically just strip naked because he went to go undo his pants buckle because he was so full but it was already undone was such a wild statement and comment to make?? The fuck? Lmao and Jimin replying with a meme was hysterical. Joking yet blushing. Top notch 😂😂 loved it. Love them. We aren't even 20 minutes into the episode yet And that was so out of pocket 😂🤣

JK being so tickled over teasing Jimin and making him come back to the car to get him 🤣 they are so funny!

Jimin dancing SNTY 😍

Their giggles over the beds?? Lol it has to be because they saw photos originally and saw the staff had separated out the beds to be separate when they originally weren't and then still gave them matching PJs to wear 🤣🤣 idk why they would do that? Lol they aren't strangers to sharing a bed lol

Jungkook teasing Jimin over the scuzzi 😂😂

Jimin putting snowballs on his head while in the hottub lol the way JK watched him. Love 😍

Not rock paper scissors to have to lay down in the snow 🤣 Jimin forcing JK to follow through on the punishment he thought up 🤣🤣🤣 the way Jimin called him baby as JK gave him the biggest puppy eyes trying to get out of having to do it 🥺🥺🥺

Jimin just laying on the floor at the bottom of the stairs while JK has his snack. Lmfao the call and response singing they had is so cute and what a song choice! 😂 Jimin saying he likes randomly laying/sprawling/rolling on the floor at home too 😂

Them reacting to episode 1 of AYS was NOT on my bingo called but im so happy about it! The editors joking with them and their interaction with the staff made me so happy too! It was also really funny them admitting to having a hard time editing the show 😂

Their giggles heal something in my soul 🥰

And the way they are sitting so close and kept their feet touching almost the entire time?? 🥰🥰🥰

Jimin's head in JKs lap at some point while watching too. I love them

JK acting a fool in the kitchen while cooking to make Jimin laugh 🥰🥰🥰

Jimin calling JK " Honey" 🥺🥺🥺 he wanted to cheers their glasses, but he called him honey. Cute

Not them teasing each other over their snores and sleeping habits 😂

"Jimin doesn't like it when someone touches his head" JK says, while rubbing his head with Jimin unbothered. Lol Jimin will let that man do ANYTHING to him 😂 and idk if JK was trying to tease Jimin or us by flexing his privilege in our face. Probably both 😂

JK saying driving on smaller roads like this is romantic. Jimin saying "this is romance, this is youth, this is nice" 😭😭😭 fuck they are so cute

JK is flying from Japan to Korea and then basically straight back out to America for his schedule. And he choose to not drink, even though he really wanted to, because he wanted to drive Jimin to the airport, just them instead of depending on the staff to take them. Give them that extra alone time together. And he chose to fly to Korea with Jimin instead of giving himself an easier and more relaxing travel schedule with more rest by staying and flying to America from Japan instead. That is... It's really fucking special and sweet and says so much about how they love each other honestly.

Giving up his last beer of their trip, after being told to relax and not worry about it because he wanted to be the one to drive them, to have that time together, just them and a GoPro they had control over, and spending that extra travel time to be together when it made a much longer and harder few days for him? That's that persistent, dedicated, quiet yet impactful kinda love. Really said a lot without saying anything.

The tradition continues of JK filming their food before ending with a close up shot of Jimins face. love that is a constant here 🥰

"I'll make sure you have a safe journey" "it's an honor" just kill me now omfg 😭🥰😭

JK being salty that Jin didn't dream about him with Jimin in the military since they are going together 😂😂😂😂

Jikook talking about how these trips were some of the happiest moments ever. And the way they were feeling a little melancholy over the trip ending and things changing and losing this constant togetherness time they had to be free .. goodness. Enjoying the cool air while trying to feel better. Ugh, I love them. I love them so much and I love the way they love each other so much.

Talking about how they loved it so much in the ending interviews, how they were the best of times. JK softly rubbing Jimins nape and back in comfort too. I'm tearing up, damn

The way JK is looking at Jimin during that last interview outtakes. My goodness 😍 same way Jimin was looking at JK while he was driving 😍

Them ending the show by having us literally send them off to the military is cruel, omfg. I AM CRYING NOW, DAMN. "A letter from beyond" fuck you too editors 😭

Wrap up Thoughts:

I'm so sad this is over. My God. Minute of silence to mourn.

.

.

.

This was such a sweet and wholesome episode. It had teasing, it had bickering, it had pet names. It was domestic as heck. It was the perfect trip for them to end their "freedom" before military service. I would have loved more conversations about that, but I'm fairly content as it is too.

Again, so many cuts (not complaining, very normal) but my favorite was how Jimin went to go wake JK up and then it cut to them leaving. I hope they enjoyed their time cuddling and relaxing sans cameras and interruption 🥰 (my assumptions I guess, but wouldn't be far fetched)

Letting my delulu out when Jimin said he just lays wherever whenever all the time at home and me thinking about the the members teasing JK about all the random ass mattresses over his house 🤣 it's too keep them comfy no matter where they end up wanting to lay 🤣🤣 (just kidding, sort of lol)

The way Jikook play fight is so equal and cute and funny. They just shove the crap out of each other but never with an intention to hurt or be mean. And they both LOVE IT.

They trust each other, give weight to each other's words and have confidence in the others beliefs and thoughts like no one else. It's such a special bond, and I'm so so glad they opted to share this with us. I truly am so grateful. And grateful for y'all letting me share all my musings with you too. 💜

And we have to end this post with the way that Jikook were spotted in Sapporo driving in the car, Jimin being the passenger princess he was, alone with their GoPro's and giving major flirty energy. And the way the show just proved OP right too. Genuinely Jikook are so special and wonderful and amazing and I love them so much. And when they got home from this trip, the group live they did shortly after? They were sooooo touchy and snuggly!

Hope everyone is excited for the photobook and behinds as well. I unfortunately am horribly sad because I'm broke AF and cannot afford to buy it in my budget at the moment, but hopefully ARMYs will upload all the photos and upload the behinds for everyone too. I will share links if I find them.

[embracing-the-ineffable]

Ineffable discontinuity and the Bentley's roadtrip transformation: new back doors and other changes (after it was yellow), and Crowley... didn't notice?!*

*Also, as a side observation, did he leave the Bentley window open during the ball and everything that happened after? Why?

Have you been longing to be even more perplexed by the ineffable discontinuity of Good Omens season 2? Do you love endless data in the form of screencaps? If so, then please join me on this wild ride! Here are some highlights:

Top photos: Season 1, episode 6, after Adam reboots reality; S2e2, before Aziraphale's e3 road trip. The Bentley is a gray and black 2-tone car with 2 doors (only 1 handle is visible on each side).

And on the bottom is s2e5, while Crowley is driving, it's a solid black car with 4 doors and smaller silver hubcaps.

(edit: For those of you thinking about the different Bentley models used in s1 vs s2 (discussed in detail below), or the difference between the full car and half car set, just those three full car pictures above demonstrate that the new s2 Bentley model is NOT the reason for this mid-season shift. For more details about the half car set plus other ways to tell the Bentleys apart - without talking about color - see my newer post with handy diagrams, here.)

And the s2 interior?

Here's e1, after Crowley talks to Shax, and e3, as Aziraphale arrives in Edinburgh (which is also when the Bentley debuts as a 4-door). And look at this blocking - how both characters are posed so similarly with their backs to us in these shots!! It's so deliberate! :

And look at the seats! In e2, Crowley is talking to Shax again, and in e5, Crowley just parked the Bentley before the ball:

When Crowley, who is so tuned in that he senses the car is yellow and driving too slow even from a distance, sees the "new" Bentley in e4, he doesn't act as though anything has changed, he just happily and purposefully walks up and opens the back door that was never there to put his plants inside.

THE BACK DOOR THAT WAS NEVER THERE

For that matter, Crowley and Aziraphale both seem to be unaware of the changes! This feels like both a metaphor and a functional plot device for season 3. There's more discussion at the end of this post!

Thanks to comments and observations awhile back from @bbbitchvibbbez , I did some careful searching for s2 scenes featuring the Bentley, and this post is the labor of love and irrational obsession result!

If you want to see lots more Bentley screencaps and discussion, including Crowley nonchalantly using the new back door, and possibly also leaving the Bentley window open during the ball and everything that followed, please keep reading:

Some background and context:

Ok, so there was a different Bentley "actor" for s2. The s1 actor was a 2-door, the s2 actor is a 4-door. If you look carefully, you'll see that in s1 the backseat side windows are smaller than the front side windows. In s2, they're the same size. I talk more about the windows - with handy diagrams! - in my newer Bentley post, here.

There's also been some controversy about the interior color of the s2 Bentley, black vs brown, and how that could relate to the s2 body swap theory; here are details about that from @lonicera-caprifolium and @picturesque-about-it. I don't think my findings support (or disprove) that theory, but take a look at what I found and see what you think!

(*Please don't ask Neil about any of this, he's already given us the answers he wants to give, and he's not going to spoil the surprises in s3 now by telling us what's really going on!*)

Here's the episode/scene breakdown:

S2e1 on the street with Shax - gray, two toned, two doors (one visible door handle on a side), brown interior - both the seats and the inside panel of the door. Notice how the door is hinged at the back, and opens opposite the way most modern cars do (this is called a suicide door):

More s2e1 photos, the Bentley is in a lot of scenes this episode and as far as I can tell it stays the same gray 2-door for the whole episode, but it's frequently in dark lighting to make it harder to tell it isn't actually black (I've brightened most of these shots). It also has larger silver hubcaps, and I notice consistent brown seats (these interior pics are from three different scenes):

In s2e2, the Bentley is only in two scenes, and it's the same as s2e1. Now, you can see in the larger photo below that it's obviously not the SAME as s1 - the backseat side windows are too long - but the production team DID try to make the new Bentley "actor" look the same as in season 1. It's a gray 2-tone car with 2 doors (1 handle visible on each side) with larger silver hubcaps. As an aside, what's with the red lights on the car in this shot?? I mean, yes, it's a reflection of another car's brake lights, but why put that onscreen?

Also, in case it's relevant, Crowley is wearing his turtleneck throughout this episode, and still has the silver-sided glasses from e1:

Ok, now we have s2e3, and as Crowley meets Muriel and gives Aziraphale his car keys, we see he's no longer wearing the turtleneck, AND this is when his glasses change to black-sided ones:

Outside, we see the Bentley looks the same as the rest of s2 thus far, as Aziraphale sets off for Edinburgh. Gray 2-tone, brown interior (with window bullet hole decals very visible), with larger silver hubcaps. There's only one handle visible, so it's still meant to look like a 2-door:

Ok, here's where things start to change! Azi is driving and the Bentley is yellow. The seats might (?) be black, there's still only one door handle on the side, the silver hubcaps are still larger. But when he "changes it back", NOW it's black:

And by the time he pulls into Edinburgh, Transformation Complete. (Did Something Else Happen?? Or is this an effect of Aziraphale finally being welcome to take care of this extension of Crowley? More speculation at the end!) It's a black 4-door, two handles clearly visible on the side, with smaller silver hubcaps:

And the interior? The door panel, at least, is black now - and it has a texture that wasn't there when it was brown. Here's e1 next to e3 (and appreciate, again, this very intentional parallel blocking of the two actors!):

In s2e4, we see the Bentley in two scenes; at the beginning when Aziraphale meets Shax-as-hitchhiker, where we see the bullet holes and the black door lining, and at the end when the Bentley is reunited with Crowley:

When Aziraphale parks the Bentley back at the bookshop, we see the bullet hole decals and that it's still a black 4-door:

So he goes to meet Crowley, they come back with the plants. We can see that the camera is to the rear of the car, and the front of the car is to their left. They're standing on the left side of the car. If Crowley opens the door, we won't see the interior door panel, right? Because the Bentley doors are hinged on the back, instead of the front, so the door will open towards us:

WELL. Mx "I can feel when you drive below the speed limit" and "change it back!" Crowley very eagerly walks up to the BLACK car, greets it with some sweet baby talk, and then opens the suddenly-existing BACK door with a hinge on the front (so it opens away from us) as if this is All Perfectly Normal, and we can (barely) see the door lining and it's BLACK and textured:

A few more shots of Crowley, standing at the brand-new back door of the Bentley, still wearing those black-sided glasses:

And in case you're wondering, in s1e2 when Anathema gets a ride in the Bentley, she climbs into the backseat from the front driver door, and she climbs out through the front passenger door. There wasn't a back door on either side. Here she climbs into the Bentley, and you can see Crowley fold down the front seat, and there's clearly only one door on that side, and it's hinged at the back. (When she gets out on the passenger side, it's harder to see, but you can tell that door is also hinged at the back.) :

In s2e5, Crowley drives the Bentley to the bookshop, and then we only catch a few small glimpses of it while Aziraphale is recruiting shopkeepers to the meeting/ball. Here's Crowley driving the black 4-door Bentley with small silver hubcaps, and here he is getting out of the car with black seats. The front door is still hinged at the back, as it always has been. The window is open - his hand is reaching through to open the door - so we can't see the bullet hole decals:

The next time we see more than a hint of the Bentley, it's the end of s2e6 and Crowley is standing next to it, watching Azi leave with the Metatron. It's still black, with 4 doors and black seats and smaller hubcaps. We don't see the bullet hole decals, but perhaps the window is still open from when he parked it in e5? (And WHY would he leave the window open? Was someone supposed to come by after he parked it to deliver something to the Bentley, or take something out?) Emotional photos ahead:

I over exposed that last picture, to make the colors really easy to pick out. The seats are absolutely, definitely black.

So... what does it mean? Why did it happen, and why didn't Crowley notice or react?

I love the metaphor that Aziraphale subconsciously created a back door for - or into - Crowley, especially with all those references to the "back channels" of communication between heaven and hell. I'm thinking it could represent - or actually be - another way for them to communicate, or like another entrance to his heart; it's something that Aziraphale doesn't realize he changed or added and that Crowley hasn't noticed yet either, even if he's making use of those changes on some level. I'm sure other metaphors could also fit!

And I'm reminded of something @theeminentlyimpractical said, "Crowley, despite his whining, fully accepts the idea of "our car," which fundamentally transforms the Bentley". That post was liked by Neil, so there could definitely be something to this "our car" transformation line of thinking.

So, was the transformation a subconscious effect of Aziraphale finally being welcome by Crowley to drive the Bentley, and caring for and taking responsibility for this part of Crowley? Or did Aziraphale consciously do this, or did Crowley? Or maybe the Bentley is sentient, and it chose to be bigger/different now, to accommodate both of them. Or did the change happen in response to Something Else We Didn't See?

Is Crowley's (and Aziraphale's) apparent non-reaction another example of an unreliable narrator or some memory tampering? Is manipulation of the Book of Life involved? Are there multiple timelines? Is someone time traveling? Or is it just that Aziraphale and Crowley already discussed the changes off screen, before Aziraphale left Edinburgh?

If Crowley noticed the changes, I would have expected a comment about them. Either, "change it back!" or a reluctant, "those are changes I can live with", or... Something. But instead, the production team went to some trouble to make sure the hints are there, but hard to spot (you can review the similar, careful s1 hints about the appearance swap here, from @fuckyeahgoodomens); as opposed to, for one example, the way they very clearly pointed out Maggie's mysterious spelling mistake, both on screen and in the dialogue. So I feel reasonably certain the Bentley's transformation is a careful, subtle hint about a Secret Something Important That Will Be Revealed In Season 3. I think it's both a metaphor and a plot device*.

What are some of your favorite metaphors? Your most reasonable theories? What about some of your biggest, wildest, most improbable theories?

*And if you enjoy Good Omens metas, theories, clues, etc, I have a big pinned collection of those from the fandom, here!

[mole-nend]

Hesper foreign kids masterlist, closeups under cut. I'm hoping to get to draw these guys more often.

Gregory Snow- British/Russian. Catholic. Bisexual, GNC- he/him or she/her. Epileptic and autistic.. He likes fencing and considers himself and independent personality. He's the most likely to take a stand against bullies when it comes to others, but seems to fall short when it comes to defending his own honor.

Alejandro- Mexican. Catholic. Bisexual, Sometimes trans (either direction)- usually he/him. Chronic pain in his (camera) right shoulder after being shot as a child, C-PTSD. Alejandro likes boxing and metal music. He's more likely to defend the entire group, including himself. Prefers to follow and gently steer rather than take charge

Baahir Hakeem- Pakistani. Muslim. No labels, he/him. PTSD. He's a slight musical talent, he likes to discuss this with Alejandro and Gregory alike for their juxtaposing interests in the topic. He's a supportive individual and tends to get involved in trouble on accident rather than spearheading it like some of the others. He technically doesn't live in America anymore, but keeps in contact with the club and Butters.

Christophe (The Mole) Fontaine- Mexican/French. Misotheist. Gay Trans male, he/him. C-PTSD and autistic. Enjoys gardening and sewing. Mole is very grounded but has a major paranoia problem, which makes him a surefire director for smaller schemes and tends to be Gregory's right hand. Relatedly, he is a foster sibling to him, as well as Cosette.

Estella Havisham- Doesn't Exist.

Herbert Pocket- Doesn't Exist.

Philip Pirrup- British, Dead. He started the club, and they tend to honor him both on his birthday and the anniversary of his death. He'll always hold a place in their hearts.

Luigi Puzo(Loogie)- Italian(Sicilian). Cishet, he/him. Autistic. He likes geography and classical literature. Weirdly obsessed with teeth, having returned to the mafia business as an older kid but not continuing the teeth racket. He's the most likely to encite the group into trouble and to stir things within the group. He's sort of like their Cartman.

Cosette [ValJean]- French/British. Lesbian, she/them. She likes painting and acting, and is looking into a career in modeling. Like Baahir, she's a very supportive individual. Sometimes the boys are less likely to listen to her, but all around she's respected and treated kindly by them. She and Baahir are close.

Nadia- Romanian. she/her. She's interested in contortion and acrobatics still, but also is a well-spoken figure who likes to give speeches. She doesn't visit America often at all, but is close with Cosette and is on good terms with most of the others.

Charlotte [Maple]- Canadian. Pansexual, she/her. Likely autistic. She's also interested in acting, but is better off managing careers and events. Expert party planner and organizer. She has the sharpest personality out of the girls, demanding change often and being solid enough to sometimes divide the group- though, they often stand together as she can easily replace Gregory's assertive demeanor if she should choose. She finds these kids to be the only ones to take her seriously. Lives in Canada, but visits often.

[sirfrogsworth]

What did I do while suffering from an ear infection all last week?

I argued with a Trump supporting boomer @mtnman451.

Why?

My ear discomfort was so ever-present that I couldn't concentrate on anything for more than a minute or two. I was hopelessly bored. So I decided to see how long this guy would continue responding due to always needing to have the last word.

I almost gave up at one point.

He nearly tired me out.

But then he pulled me back in.

We started arguing about the kind of gun used in my dad's favorite movie, Quigley Down Under.

Just to be clear, I am posting this for one person. I am using my large platform to publicly show that someone on the internet was wrong. It will not make the world a better place. It is probably not great for my mental health. But sometimes you just gotta embrace the petty.

If you have no interest in a stupid internet argument, feel free to ignore this. But I really really needed to be correct about this. And I am letting my pettiness take the wheel and digging in to vent my frustrations about people who cannot ever be wrong on the internet.

Here is a little of the argument...

mtnman451 You know it's funny. You think you're so smart and are all happy about you're supposed "Gotcha Moment. Have you ever seen the movie "Quigley Down Under?" The lead character only uses a Sharp's rifle during the movie and the major antagonist gives him crap because Quigley doesn't seem to know how to use a Colt Revolver. I believe the exact thing Quigley says to the antagonist when asked about it is "Well Sir, I never had much use for one." At the end of the movie when Quigley takes out 3 men in a fair gunfight including the antagonist, Quigley walks up to him as he's on the ground, dying and looking shocked that he had just gotten shot and says "I said I never had much use for one. I never said I didn't know how to use it."

sirfrogsworth Quigley was actually my dad's favorite movie. I enjoyed it very much as well. But I'm afraid you are not shooting with the Shiloh Sharps or the Colt 1860 Army.

You are firing a toy cap gun, friend. All noise and no bullets.

You are angry, incoherent, and neither your arguments nor your insults make any sense.

mtnman451 you need to take another look at that movie because the Australians in "Quigley" weren't armed with 1860 Colt Army Revolvers. 1860 Colt Army Revolvers were .44 caliber and the revolvers used by The Australians were of a smaller caliber. If you knew your guns, you'd know that.

sirfrogsworth Elliot Marston (played by Alan Rickman) carried a .44 caliber Colt 1860 Army. He even refers to it as the "Army revolver" invented by "Col. Colt." He then places his identical "backup revolver" in Quigley's belt before the final duel.

I actually have an interest in antique guns and have always wanted to collect non-working replicas but never had the money. So I'm pretty sure I know the guns in my dad's favorite movie.

You are free to check the Internet Movie Firearms Database to verify.

mtnman451 Go back and watch the movie. He's not packing a .44. you want to see what a .44 looks like? Here you go.

sirfrogsworth Do you enjoy people making you look stupid?

Here is the photo you just shared overlaid on a still of Rickman's gun in the movie. It's the same fucking gun, dude.

mtnman451 Yes, it's exactly like this one. A .36 Caliber Colt.

sirfrogsworth The 1860 Army uses the same frame as the .36 caliber Navy model. In the movie he clearly says, "Are you familiar with the Army revolver, Mr. Quigley?" The film takes place around 1860 and he says it is a "recent invention of Colonel Colt."

mtnman451 hm. Same frame you say? No Shit sirfroggysgoneacourting. It's a wonder why those who don't know what they're talking about mistake the two, isn't it? Do you or your Dad own any black powder weapons? I do. Ever held the two in your hands? Seen them side by side? I have. Ever fired any black powder weapons? I have. I've fired more guns of every type from muzzle loading rifles, single action percussion cap pistols to semi automatic pistols and Class 3 Federally regulated firearms. Have you? It's possible but I highly doubt it.

sirfrogsworth So… you can't be wrong, can you? Like it is physically impossible. You just double and triple down and quadruple down?

If you can show any kind of evidence aside from "I know guns" then I'd be happy to reconsider. But it has to be actual evidence and not "I WAS PLAYING WITH GUNS BEFORE YOU WERE IN DiAPERS!"

I know you are super good at shooting things but I am super good at research. Either play in my sandbox and PROVE your claim or fuck off.

mtnman451 Oh I could be wrong but I'm not. Now while Tom Selleck served in The US Military and throughout his Film and TV career handled many different and powerful weapons like a .44 colt, if you recall he used The Remington Army .44 in "The Shadow Riders" where he played a Union Cavalry Officer to "Magnum P.I. where he used an ACP, that's the .45 Automatic Colt Pistol, btw. I don't think a bunch of British and Australian Actors such as the ones in "Quigley Down Under would have had as much experience handling pistols of that size as they pack a pretty Damn Big Kick. a .36 Caliber Colt would be much more manageable in the hands of a neophyte.

sirfrogsworth So, none of that is evidence. That is pure speculation. Your entire argument is that Alan Rickman wasn't man enough to fire a blank firing prop gun? That's silly. And does not prove anything at all.

Do you not understand what evidence is?

My evidence is the character said it was an Army. And online sources have verified it as the Army.

You just have vibes.

Even the Internet Movie Firearms Database thinks you are wrong. And they do solid research.

mtnman451 If you were so good at research, why didn't you just go here in the first place?

sirfrogsworth I TOLD YOU TO CHECK THAT SITE. That's where I learned about the gun years ago. In my very first reply I said, "You are free to check the Internet Movie Firearms Database to verify."

mtnman451 And yet the guy that's "Super Good" at research never posted it.

And now, some "Super Good" research...

I found the definitive difference between the .44 Colt Army and .36 Colt Navy revolvers.

Here is the cylinder of the .36 caliber Colt 1861 Navy that Mr. Mountain Man claimed was used in the movie.

Here is the cylinder of the .44 caliber Colt 1860 Army that I claimed was in the movie.

Please draw your attention to that seam in the cylinder. This was to account for the larger bullets.

Here is a scene from the movie where Alan Rickman's character is firing the revolver.

I've always wanted to do this...

I think of all the times I was correct, this is the most correct I have ever been.

Also, while the show's canon claimed Magnum P.I. used a .45 ACP Colt 1911, they had trouble finding blanks for it, so the prop gun was a 9mm.

I guess Tom Selleck didn't have to handle that really big kick after all.

Will Mr. Mountain Man 451 finally admit he was wrong and apologize for his overconfident firearms claims?

I eagerly await him changing the subject and never admitting his error.

Because it is the Trump way.

If you are wrong about something... no you aren't.

Just be louder and wronger until everyone gives up.