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seilon · 8 days ago
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top surgery…………tomorrow…………
#what the fuckkkkkk#I’ve heard people say ‘practice sleeping on your back for like three weeks prior to surgery!!!’ and as much as I understand that#on the OTHER hand. should I not be savoring every moment of side and stomach sleep I have left#that being at this point probably a grand total of like. 12 hours.#I wish I got a few more things done before im unable to carry shit for like a month but. ah well#like I wanted to get my tv mounted properly so I can use it from my bed. but yeah that didn’t happen#I’m still anxious about the travel part but less because I think it’s too close for comfort time-wise and more because I’m worried my friend#will think it’s too close and she’ll back out last moment and I’ll have to go with my mom instead#that would be a pretty shitty thing to do at this point but idk you never know#the way I have things set up I SHOULD have between 2hrs 15min - 2hrs 50min to get there with the latter being way more likely#it’s a 1.5hr drive NOT including traffic. considering going into SF always has some amount of traffic and there’s construction around sac rn#I am taking into consideration the traffic. but I would be kind of appalled if a whole extra hour got tacked on because of traffic#I’m leaving town during the morning rush But usually people are going INTO sac for the rush not the other way around. and by the time I’m at#the bay bridge it should be past the sf morning rush or at least at the tail end of it#can you tell I’ve been overthinking this like crazy. I mean. you can’t blame me considering if I somehow can’t make it on time I risk losing#my appointment that took me over a Year to get and I’d have to reschedule probably months later#worst case scenario of course but yeah.#anyway. anyway I need to stop thinking about this it’s pointless right now#ghsgahhh how does it still not feel totally real??? I mean I guess cause nothing currently is different in my life?? like I’m just. going to#work like normal. same routine tonight as usual. etc. it’s like it’s all gonna kick in at once as soon as Friday morning hits#maybe it doesn’t feel real partly because if it did I’d be even more anxious and unable to function#fuckkkkk I don’t know dude this is so weird this isn’t how I expected to feel at all#it could be worse of course I’m not really complaining so much as expressing my confusion over it#I’m gonna have so much fucking trouble sleeping before all this fuckkjjjkk#kibumblabs#also I was told id probably get some calls this week from the hospital but I haven’t gotten anything at all so that’s#idk a little nervewracking but it just as well could be a good thing ie; I got all my forms and tests and shit done early so now all I have#to do is Wait basically#guess we’ll see if they call or message me later today
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 5 months ago
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Yippee, might have a place to live, don't want to jinx it but if anyone wants to hope or pray for me I'll take it! Wanted to share cuz I'm excited!!
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yaycham · 2 years ago
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feeling so bleh lately, i cant really think of any particular reason, idk if i should even be bothering to look for reasons or just feeling the feelings
just feeling melancholy and sad, and sad isnt one of my usual bad emotions lol, its usually just like, various shades of anxiety
i feel a bit like a never-was and unlikely to ever be as good at the things i want to be good as i want to be, which sucks
also im annoyed with myself for still being so closed off to my own feelings... idk why i do this lol its so stupid, it's thinsg like refusing to play a song that is important to me (the song itself isnt the point just like it makes me feel weird and empty) in front of ben bc i dont want him to hear it (this was a few weeks ago idk why im feeling annoyed about it again now lol) + like feeling unable to ever really play the piano creatively and/or composing music and/or improvising musically without just feeling like fully embarrassed at any kind of Creative Expression lol i guess it's the vulnerability + the opening your true small self up, but literally like. omg... even if im on my own with my piano headphones on i raelly struggle to let myself express myself which is frankly insane and hideously british in the royal family-esque way i fear lol
idk lads im about to go to bed bc its 4am. tbh i always go kinda weird at this time of year and it may just be that lol. but im feeling !!! >:( :( :[
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bizarrelovetriangel · 3 months ago
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lipstick stains.
reader decides to dabble with art using several lipstick as her tools and sylus' sleeping face as her canvas.
fluff. inspired by one of sylus' texts in the game (included down below near the end). no warnings, just little kisses and reader having a little fun <3
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It's two in the afternoon and there's nothing to do until sunset, when it's time to get ready for a date with your lover who's currently sleeping.
No... maybe there is something you could do.
A certain someone recently just bought you several new shades of lipstick from the brand that you love. Maybe now is a good idea to see which color would suit your outfit best for your date.
You wore a sly grin as you gathered all of your new lipstick and tiptoed your way inside Sylus' bedroom.
He's still in the same position as when you put him to bed: mostly on his back, though his upper body's slightly on a higher level due to the fluffy cold pillow supporting his shoulders.
He's wearing his satin burgundy robe, which had gotten a little loose to expose a portion of his chest. You were tempted to rest your head against it, but you can't afford to be distracted right now. You have a mission.
You're going to test the shades of your new lipstick with Sylus' help.
First up is cherry.
You put on a single layer of that color on your lips, then you carefully leaned down towards Sylus' face and softly kissed his forehead. You made sure it was as light as a feather so he doesn't wake up and end your fun so soon.
Next: rose.
You painted your lips with the brighter shade and pecked Sylus' left cheek. It gave a similar result as the previous contender: it looks great, but this particular color probably won't match your outfit tonight.
Third candidate is: wine
This one went to his right cheek and your gaze lingered on it for a little longer than the rest, as the color seemed so fitting on Sylus' face. The stain of wine always did compliment him, so this shouldn't be a surprise.
Up next is blood-red.
It's darker than wine and you also love its velvety texture. More importantly, the kiss mark of its hue looks wonderful on Sylus' left jawline.
Following that is blush.
This one's brighter and more on the pink side. Even though you like it, tonight won't be the night when you'd wear it. Nonetheless, it certainly looks lovely on your lover's chin, which twitched for a second after you kissed it.
Next one is apple.
You kissed the right side of Sylus' jaw and awed at its surprisingly vibrant tone. This one might work quite well with your outfit.
There's the shade called merlot, too.
It's more on the darker side, but you're not sure if it'll look good with your outfit tonight. On the other hand, it's cute on Sylus' nose.
Last but not least: ruby
This one seems like it's in the middle of the palette in terms of saturation, and it appears to have an appealing texture as well. To test it out, you put it on your lips and left a mark on the little spot just above his lips.
Or at least, that was the plan.
Sylus stirred all of a sudden, so you ended up kissing him on the lips.
From the very moment your lips touched, your face heated up and you backed away in panic.
You've kissed him plenty of times. You've kissed him on the lips and on spots that are not his lips. You've done way more than kissing. And yet still, your heart raced at the thought of him catching you stealing kisses from him while he sleeps.
It's still a little early for him to wake up, so you decided to leave him alone for now. You took all of your lipstick with you and ran out before he could detect your presence.
//////////
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Your mouth drops at the text message you just received.
"I need to hide, quickly! You guys better not snitch on me! Especially you, Mephie!" You glared at the crow before leaving Luke and Kieran, suddenly ending your game of Kitty Cards.
You fled to look for a hiding spot, but it's too late. Your face planted against a strong chest.
You swore you heard a cough from behind you, followed by the sound of someone's phone clicking for a picture.
It didn't matter though because Sylus spared no attention to Luke, Kieran, and Mephisto as his eyes are completely focused on you.
"Sylus....." you laughed nervously. "Good afternoon. Had a nice dream?"
"Mhmm." He crossed his arms, giving you a raised brow. "In my dream, I was being attacked by a mischievous kitten while I was asleep."
"...."
"You're coming with me." He took one step towards you and leaned down to whisper to your ear. "You have to be punished for your crimes."
Suddenly, he threw you over his shoulder and retreated back to his bedroom.
Luke and Kieran looked at each other.
"Did you get the picture?"
"Yeah."
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starlight-shadowbanned · 25 days ago
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It has been abundantly clear to me that the pro-Palestine movement's antisemitism, anti-Israelis-as-people sentiment, glorification of violence, and all the other components of the shit stew that I'm currently too angry to articulate, were going to lead to extreme violence, including against Jews in diaspora. I have been telling y'all for over a year and a half to collect your fucking people and you will not do it. I have been trying to educate gently and with nuance and provide a voice that is neither "there's no antisemitism in the movement" nor "antizionism is antisemitism." And yet somehow for either the message does not get through or frankly many of you just do not give a shit. Setting Jews in Colorado on fire will not free Palestine and frankly you are really stupid if you think it will, and also you and I are different because as a general principle I think setting people on fire is bad and you don't.
Anyway I could not be more fucking over it. Your movement is cooked as hell and is also not in any sense "leftist" or "radical." It's actually reactionary as fuck. At this point if you continue to refuse to speak up in your activist spaces and collect your people I will no longer be assuming you just need some gentle education, I will assume that it is intentional and you either agree with the bullshit or are prioritizing your personal social standing.
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mohammed-alhabil · 7 months ago
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URGENT HELP 🙏 "Please help my sick son before its too late, he needs 2000$ as urgent help for the healthy food, tent and other necessaries" 🙏
⚠️⚠️New worse update "9th, Dec: 🙏🙏I appeal to every living conscience and merciful heart to look at us with mercy and hasten to help us and alleviate our suffering.🙏🙏 Please don't leave my sick son Ahmed alone.🥹🥹⚠️⚠️
💔My sick son is starving, he's getting worse, his disease worsen his health.💔 The donations we've received so far is too low, I haven't managed to buy a new waterproof tent, blankets and clothes for my sick son, he is quivering daily, feeling very cold .
Also I can't buy necessaries, it's unimaginably expensive, the price of flour 25 kg is about 300$. Imagine that we haven't eaten even a loaf of bread for ages, vegetables are about 15$- 20$/kg.
Previous update: My sick son is in dire need of your help and donations, 18 days with total donations of 482€, 😞😞his curren disease worsen his health more and more and his immunity has become more fragile, taking into consideration that the weather is extremely cold in the tent.😞😞 My little son Ahmed needs your help to get better.⚠️⚠️
🙏🙏I'm sure you won't let him alone, so come on, help him and donate kindly🙏🙏
🚨🚑🚨Please help my innocent sick son evacuate from Gaza, his health status is on the line.🚨🚑🚨
🙏🙏♥️My little innocent son Ahmad wants to convey a message "through a video👇" for you, hoping that it touches your compassionate hearts and donate to help him.🙏🙏♥️
Hi! I'm Mohammed Al-Habil,31 years old. I have a family of 3 members.
I'm from Gaza but I've got displaced so many times from Gaza. I've got injured in the first week of this ongoing war, since that time I've been forced to leave my home to UNRWA center as a shelter. The nightmare hasn't finished, my dad has got killed in the fourth month of the war, leaving my mum and two sisters so we've taken responsibility of them in addition to my family.
This nightmare "war" has taken everything, my dad, my work, my belongings, my home which has been destroyed, my peaceful life, my peace of mind, everything!
We live in extremely hard circumstances. We have no water, no healthy food, no electricity, no healthy place, no source of money, no health care, nothing!
We live in an unhealthy environment full of diseases. I live in a tent that neither protects us from sunshines nor protects us from rain. I need a new waterproof tent which costs 1000$, my current tent is made from clothes, it doesn't protect us from rain and cold, I'm sure you'll help.
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I've faced so many diseases including hepatitis and viral infection "causing fever" due to unhealthy food and environment. The food we eat is canned food although it is unhealthy and expensive.
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In addition to that, my wife has faced hepatitis due to dirty bathrooms, unhealthy food and unhealthy environment we live in.
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In addition to that my little innocent son, 2 years and 10 months old, has had an operation on his eyes. In brief, my life has become a miserable nightmare!
⚠️🚑Urgent medical update about my little innocent son, his health status is getting worse and worse.🚨 Recently my little son has visited the clinic, he has been suffering from a urinary tract infection "he has taken a medicine, co-trimoxazole" and this is as a result of the only canned food he eats because we can't buy healthy food.🚑⚠️
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We are about to face famine, basic goods are extremely expensive even vegetables are extremely expensive and we can hardly find them.
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Some kinds of food aren't available, for example, egg, baby formula, frozen meat, bottles of water. Prices are higher nowadays.
👉👉👉My campaign "pinned post" has been shared by @sayruq @a-shade-of-blue @gazavetters , so it's completely legitimate.👈👈👈
🚨⚠️Btw, my current vetted campaign is moving extremely slowly, donations are very few, low funds, so could you spread my vetted campaign and donate even little amount of money?
😞517€ out of 50k€ after 21 days��⚠️🚨
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We need more donations. Please boost my fundraiser "campaign".
My campaign is ✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #298 )✅️
So please donate and help my little son and family.
Your donation helps us!
@90-ghost @el-shab-hussein @sayruq @nabulsi @neptunerings @flower-tea-fairies @appsa @a-shade-of-blue @sar-soor @commissions4aid-international @paper-mario-wiki @dlxxv-vetted-donations @writerqueenofjewels @the-ballerina-battle @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @girlinafairytale @khangerinedreams @maoistyuri @dykesbat @acepumpkinpatrick @thetownwecallhome @tsaricides @feluka @brutaliakhoa @kordeliiius @queerstudiesnatural @the-bastard-king @aria-ashryver @malcriada @vakarians-babe @bat-luun @mangocheesecakes @violetlyra @nightowlssleep @self-hating-zionist @staretes @friendshapedplant @yokohama-crackhouse @omiteo777
@timetravellingkitty @meaganfoskin @socalgal @briahyu @briahrogersss-blog @chilewithcarnage @aces-and-anime @ghelgheli @mahoushojoe @mahouprince @northgazaupdates2 @rhubarbspring @schoolhater @pcktknife @transmutationisms @sawasawako @terroristiclyscreaming @irhabiya @wellwaterhysteria
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aces-and-angels · 11 months ago
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video taken from shahed's instagram follow: @shahednhall verification source (no. 224 on el-shab-hussein/nabulsi's list)
"I like to photograph everything. I like to collect special shots because the memory is not repeated. I like to make it in my memory and the memory of everyone. I did not like to share the destruction. I did not like to share the life that has become black and white despite this reality, but my message is to show the beauty of my family and how much they deserve life. I do not want them to appear in a picture they do not like and do not want anyone wish for it. The lens of my camera will continue to transmit the most beautiful shots. Get up, fight for me, a new danger that presses
I hope you save my life before it's too late.🙏💔"
- shahed (please read & share full post here)
no one should have to showcase their suffering for others to care. sadly, people only seem to mobilize after something truly horrific happens. i am begging you all not to wait for the next tragedy. there is no pause button, no reprieve, no escape from the suffering these families face on a daily basis. they all need your help now.
if you don't know her already, shahed is a 21 year old who used to be a student at al-azhar university before the genocide began. with both her parents having taken ill, she is the sole provider for her family right now, including her five siblings, youngest of whom is just a baby.
shahed is currently trying to put together an evacuation fund for her younger sisters (who have hepatitis and are severely ill.) they were recently removed from the clinic where they were getting treated due to overcrowding/because there were more pressing cases to be attended to, likely because of the massacres that took place days ago and are still happening today.
there is no room left for people's complacency-- it's okay if you're unable to donate right now-- what's not okay is assuming others will pick up your slack. just because your dash is full of 🍉content doesn't mean that's the case for others. you taking a second out of your day to spread shahed's campaign brings her that much closer to her goal. please do whatever you can to help her out.
SHAHED NEEDS TO REACH $40K USD BY THE END OF THE JULY IN ORDER TO GET HER FAMILY TO SAFETY
current stats: $34,137 raised
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---
tagging for reach (sorry yall- if you wish to be removed from this list, please let me know, no hard feelings🖤)
@timetravellingkitty @meaganfoster @briarhips @mazzikah @mahoushojoe
@rhubarbspring @schoolhater @pcktknife @transmutationisms @sawasawako
@feluka @terroristiraqi @irhabiya @wellwaterhysteria @deepspaceboytoy
@post-brahminism @junglejim4322 @kibumkim @neechees @mangocheesecakes
@kyra45 @marnota @7bitter @tortiefrancis @toiletpotato
@fromjannah @omegaversereloaded @vague-humanoid @criptochecca @aristotels
@komsomolka @neptunerings @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @heritageposts @ot3
@amygdalae @ankle-beez @communistchilchuck @dykesbat @watermotif
@stuckinapril @violentrevolution @mavigator @lacecap @socalgal
@chilewithcarnage @ghelgheli @sayruq @northgazaupdates
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harrysfolklore · 11 months ago
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little bitch - cs55
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summary: yn piastri and carlos sainz absolutely hate each other. carlos thinks she’s immature, yn calls him a little bitch on social media. they also kiss every now and then. PART TWO
word count: over 10k + social media posts
folkie radio: guys this fic is my baby okay 🥲🥲 please take care of it i spent like two weeks writing it. FEEDBACK IS ENCOURAGED AND APPRECIATED !!
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
2023 SEASON
TWITTER
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INSTAGRAM
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 87,635 others
ynpiastri that’s my optimistic little brother cry about it 😚 see y’all after the break
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username1 LAJSIA SO MESSY
username2 yn really said you will NAWT mess with my little brother
lilyzneimer Love you forever 😂
↳ ynpiastri ilysm
username3 the sainz - piastri drama just spiced this season up
mclaren That’s our boy 🧡
username4 carlos sainz and yn piastri fighting on the internet and oscar is just 🧍
username5 the fact that daniel ricciardo and pierre gasly liked yn’s tweet too 😭
landonorris Stop fighting people on the internet please
↳username1 HELP HIS BESTIES ARE FIGHTING
↳ ynpiastri never 😤
oscarpiastri When nobody got me I know my messy sister got me
↳ username2 I LOVE THEM SM
↳ yourinstagram HE SAID NO PICKLES !!
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
"You didn't have to tweet that," Oscar said, giving you a look from his seat.
You were currently traveling from Belgium to Monaco in McLaren's private jet after the race weekend, and the main topic of the day was your little message to Carlos Sainz after his statement about your brother.
"Osc, he's being a petty bitch," you shrugged, "He keeps blaming you for what happened on the track and we all know it was his fault."
"Lando, can you help me out please?" Oscar looked at his teammate, who was immersed on his phone as a way to avoid the conversation.
"Oh no, don't put me in the middle of this," Lando shook his head, "I have enough PR issues myself."
"We know you're siding with your bestie anyways," you said, making him roll his eyes.
This dynamic was nothing new. Lando and Carlos Sainz were best friends, and so were Lando and you. The issue? You couldn't stand Carlos at all, and Lando was always in the middle of your bickering.
Oscar sighed, rubbing his temples as he glanced out of the window. "Look, I appreciate you standing up for me, but sometimes it's better to let things slide. Engaging with him on social media only adds fuel to the fire."
He had a point. Deep down you knew it, however, your were short tempered and protective towards your loved ones, so it was natural that you took the chance to come for Sainz's neck when he gave you a reason to.
"I get it, Osc. I just can't stand seeing him drag your name through the mud when you're not even at fault," you stressed, "You're my little brother, I'll always get protective, you know?"
"I know, and I appreciate you having my back," Oscar said, softening his tone. "But it's not worth it. Like you said, I'm not engaging with whatever he's saying so there's no point of starting stuff."
"He started it, I'm just finishing it," you shrugged, and Oscar gave you a pointed look, you were older than him, but he was definitely more mature than you. "Fine, I'll try to hold back next time," you sighed, leaning back in your seat.
Lando finally looked up from his phone, a smirk on his face. "See, that wasn't too hard, was it? Now, can we all be friends?"
"If that includes Sainz then no, we can't,"
You could never be friends with Carlos Sainz. That was literally impossible.
For starters, you were pretty sure he didn't even know your name, he was always too full of himself to even acknowledge those around him.
And lastly, he was a bitch to your brother on and off track.
"I just, I would really like for you two to get along," Lando said and you immediately rolled your eyes at his words, "You're both important to me, and it sucks being caught in the middle. Plus I don't even understand why do you dislike him so much."
You knew the real reason why you disliked him so much, you perfectly did. However, that was a subject that you decided to ignore every single time.
"Honestly? I find him arrogant. He always acts like he's the center of the universe. He never takes responsibility for his actions and always tries to shift the blame onto others. It's frustrating to watch."
Lando sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I get it, but you have to understand, Carlos is actually a good guy once you get to know him. He's passionate and competitive, sure, but he's also loyal and a great friend."
"I get that he's like your hero or something," you teased, "But it's not going to happen, Lando. I don't think I'll ever like Carlos, and I really wish you’d stop pushing the subject."
"Look, you don't have to be his best friend or something," Oscar intervened, "Just promise me you won't punch him when you see him in the paddock after the summer break."
"No promises."
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
INSTAGRAM
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liked by lilymhe, landonorris and 105,726 others
ynpiastri a weekend in monaco with some of my favorite people 🤍 back to race cars soooon (love being a nepo sister)
tagged: oscarpiastri, lilyzneimer, alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris
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username1 SLAAAY
username2 ahhhh lily x oscar content thank u yn
francisca.cgomes having major fomo rn, love you all babies 🥲
↳ ynpiastri get over hereeeee
username3 she has the dream life
charles_leclerc Stop stealing my girlfriend from me thank you
↳ ynpiastri never
↳ alexandrasaintmleux We’re like this 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩
↳ charles_leclerc Don’t do this to me
lilyzneimer 🤍
oscarpiastri I think you just invented the term “nepo sister”
↳ ynpiastri and i’m too iconic for that
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
Going to Jimmy'z the last day of the summer break was a tradition among the drivers at this point.
You looked forward to it, for you, nothing could beat a night of loud music, drinks and friends. You thought that was the reason you got along with Lando and quickly became best friends.
“Ready to tear up the dance floor?” Lando shouted over the music, giving you smirk
“Always!” you replied, grabbing his hand and dragging him towards the center of the action, Oscar and Lily being their introvert selves decided to stay at the table with some of your friends.
After a few songs, you returned to the table to catch your breath and order another round of drinks.
Oscar looked up from his conversation with Lily and smiled as you approached.
“Having fun?” he asked.
“Absolutely,” you replied, taking a seat next to him. “You two should join us on the dance floor.”
Lily laughed softly. “Maybe later. Right now, we’re enjoying people-watching.”
“Suit yourselves,” you said, shrugging, "I'm going to the bar, does anyone want anything?"
Oscar shook his head. "No, thanks. I'm good."
"I'll have another gin and tonic," Lily said, giving you a warm smile.
"Got it," you replied, turning towards the bar.
As you made your way through the crowded club, you found an open spot at the bar and flagged down the bartender. As you waited for your drinks, you felt someone step up beside you. Glancing to your left, you saw the last person you wanted to run into tonight... or ever.
Carlos Sainz was standing there with what you called his "resting bitch face" and acting like he owned the place.
You knew chances of him being at Jimmy'z for the last day of the summer break were high and you had decided earlier that you were just going to ignore him for the night if you ever ran into him. After all, you were there to have fun, not to get into a confrontation. But you were known for being short-tempered, a stark contrast to your brother's laid-back demeanor.
When you heard Carlos order his drink without so much as a “please,” you couldn't help but call him out.
"Whiskey, neat," he ordered, his tone clipped and lacking any form of politeness, his Spanish accent that you found absolutely irritating coming through.
“A 'please' would be nice, you know,” you interjected.
Carlos turned to you, his brow furrowing. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” you replied coolly. “It's not hard to be polite.”
"Do I know you?" Carlos stared at you for a moment before recognition dawned. “Oh you're Piastri's sister, aren't you?”
“That I am,” you confirmed, your tone equally cold.
“Figures," Carlos scoffed, shaking his head, "You’re the one who sent me that lovely message on Twitter.”
“You deserved every word,” you replied, crossing your arms.
“Did I now?” Carlos leaned closer, his expression hardening. “You don't even know the whole story. You just assume I'm the bad guy because of Oscar."
“I know enough,” you shot back. “I know you never take responsibility for your actions. You always blame someone else.”
“And what about you?," Carlos’s jaw tightened, "Hiding behind your keyboard, throwing insults. That's real mature.”
“Someone had to say it,” you replied, refusing to back down. “You can't just go around acting like you're untouchable.”
“And you can't go around thinking you're some kind of vigilante,” Carlos retorted. “Can't your little brother handle things himself?.”
“Maybe if you weren't such a jerk, people wouldn't have to call you out,” you snapped, feeling your temper flare.
Carlos sighed, clearly frustrated. “Look, I don't have time for this. Just stay out of my way, alright?”
“Gladly,” you replied, turning away from him.
When you rejoined your friends, they noticed your tense expression. Lando shot you a questioning look, but you just shook your head.
"Ask you bestie," you simply said and Lando threw his head back in frustration, once again, he was in the middle of his two best friends tension.
“I’ll talk to him," Lando said, sipping on his drink.
"Don't bother, he's a bitch."
Later that night, Lando found Carlos near the dancefloor chatting with some friends. He pulled him aside, needing to get to the bottom of the latest incident.
“What happened with YN now?” Lando asked, trying to keep his tone casual.
Carlos shrugged before speaking, “I was minding my own business, ordering a drink, and she just came at me."
“And?” Lando raised an eyebrow.
“And she’s just so immature and arrogant,” Carlos continued, “She’s always ready to pick a fight over the smallest things. It’s embarrassing.”
Lando shook his head. “Look, Carlos, YN is protective of Oscar. She sees you two butting heads and she gets defensive. It’s not ideal, but it’s not like she’s completely unreasonable.”
“Well, she sure seems unreasonable to me," Carlos crossed his arms, "I don’t know how you deal with it.”
Lando sighed. “She’s my friend, and so are you. I wish you two could just get along, but I know that’s asking a lot. Just... try to give her a bit of slack, alright? She’s not a bad person.”
"She's insufferable."
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ynpiastri little bitches everywhere, always a pleasure monza
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username1 HEEEELP
username2 she’s so messy we needed this 😭
lilyzneimer I can’t wait to hear this rant in person
↳ username1 LET ME INNNNN
username3 IS THIS CARLOS SHADEEEE
username4 not her adding the radio message
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↳ ynpiastri scared of your boyfriend??
↳ username2 THEY’RE SO TALKING ABOUT CARLOS 😭
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↳ ynpiastri you’re literally the only ferrari i like..
↳ username3 she really hates carlos i’m screaming
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The Ferrari hospitality was the last place you wanted to be during a Grand Prix, the mere thought of it being the place where Sainz (or as you liked to call him, the little bitch), was most likely to be kept you away from it.
However, Alex told you to meet her there after the Qualifying so you could leave together for dinner. Oscar and Lando already left with the rest of the team, so you had no choice but to wait for your friend.
"Looking for someone, hermosa?" your eyes immediately rolled without even turning around to see who was speaking, the thick Spanish accent that you despised filling your ears.
"Not for you, that's for sure," you said, not even bothering to face him.
"Are you sure? Because this is not the McLaren garage, did your little bro finally kick you out or something?"
"Sainz," you retorted sharply, finally turning to face him, "Shouldn't you be busy making excuses for your next mediocre performance on track?"
"Ah, always so angry, Piastri," he chuckled, unfazed by your hostility, "Maybe you're just frustrated because you're not getting enough attention. I could help with that."
"I don't need or want anything from you," you shot back, your voice laced with irritation.
Carlos leaned casually against a nearby wall, his smirk widening. "Come on, hermosa, you know you've got a temper. Maybe you just need to let off some steam."
Hermosa, the word he used often when he wanted to get to your skin. When you first heard it, you had no idea of what it meant. You were never good at learning Spanish growing up. But after a quick google translation search you found out that it meant beautiful. And for some reason you felt like throwing up.
"Believe me, Sainz, you're the last person I'd ever turn to," you replied icily, folding your arms across your chest, "And don't call me that."
He chuckled again, seemingly enjoying your discomfort. You wondered how Lando could be friends with him when he was nothing but an arrogant little bitch, and you cursed Alexandra for taking so long to get her stuff from hospitality.
"I hope you know that you have some serious issues, Sainz," you said, your patience wearing thin as his cocky stare weighted on you.
"Issues? Me?," Carlos raised an eyebrow, clearly entertained by your anger, "I think you're the one with the problem, querida. Like I said, maybe you need to get laid. I could help you with that, your brother won't find out."
Your eyes narrowed, your blood boiled to the point where you could feel your skin burning up. If it wasn't for the all the people around, you swore you could've punched him.
You took a step closer to him, your voice dropping to a deadly whisper. "I hope your car sets itself on fire so you're not able to race tomorrow."
Carlos's smirk only widened, he was well aware that he got into your skin and he enjoyed every minute of it. Before he could respond, Alex finally appeared, her eyes flicking between the two of you with a mix of curiosity and concern.
"Ready to go?" she asked, sensing the tension.
"More than ready," you replied, shooting Carlos one last glare before turning to leave with Alex.
The next day, news spread quickly through the paddock that Carlos' car had suffered a mechanical failure during the warm-up, rendering him unable to compete in the Qatar Grand Prix. Meanwhile, Oscar had won the Sprint and finished P2 in the race.
Karma got that little bitch, you thought to yourself
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ynpiastri season over and out. super proud of you, rookie of the year @/oscarpiastri 🥹
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username1 i’m going to miss this season sm
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↳ ynpiastri that’s what big sisters are for
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The end of the 2023 season was a blur of celebrations, laughter, and champagne showers. Oscar had closed off the season as the Rookie of the Year and you couldn't be more proud of him, you were grateful you got to be by his side through it.
And of course, with the end of the season a celebration at Jimmy'z was in order, all drivers, their girlfriends and friends pulling up to Monaco for one last night of partying before the winter break.
You had stuck close to Lando and Oscar for most of the evening, since it was a special occasion, you decided not to hold back with your drinking and have as much fun as you wanted, Lando being your partner in crime as always.
So by 2 a.m, you were pretty drunk, not to the point where you couldn't stand on your own feet, but drunk enough to make a couple of bad decisions.
With that thought on your mind, you decided that it was time to find your brother or best friend and call it a night. But for some reason, both of them were nowhere to be found.
Stumbling through the crowded dance floor, you made your way toward the back of the club, hoping to spot them. The alleyway was dark and you couldn't see a single thing, but they weren't definitely back there.
"Fancy seeing you here, hermosa," a voice behind drawled, almost making you jump.
"What the actual fuck!" you said, holding a hand to your chest.
Of course it was fucking Carlos Sainz, once again
"You scared the hell out of me!" you snapped, narrowing your eyes at him, "Do you hide in dark alleyways like a creep all the time?"
"Slow down, hermosa, why are you so angry all the time?" his Spanish accent was thicker than usual, a clear sign that he was as tipsy as you were.
"I'm not in the mood for your games tonight," you retorted, trying to brush past him.
"Relax, I'm not here to cause trouble," he said, blocking your path with an easy grace. "Though you do seem to find me wherever you go."
"Only because you insist on being everywhere I am," you shot back, folding your arms over your chest.
"Or maybe you just can't resist my charm," he teased, leaning casually against the wall.
"Charm? Is that what you call it?" you scoffed, "More like arrogance and an inflated ego."
"Arrogance? No. Confidence? Absolutely," he replied with a smirk, "And I think you secretly like it."
"You're delusional," you muttered, feeling the alcohol clouding your judgment. "I can't stand you."
"Is that so?" he said, stepping closer. "Because you seem pretty invested in this conversation for someone who supposedly hates me."
True
"Maybe because you won't let me leave," you said, your voice rising in frustration.
"Or maybe because you've spent the entire season trying to get my attention by being rude to me and blasting me on social media, calling me a little bitch and all."
"I was defending Oscar," you snapped. "You kept messing with him on track. Someone had to call you out."
Carlos shook his head, his cocky smirk even bigger now. "It was never about Oscar, and you know it."
"God, I hate you," you said, ready to walk away but he blocked your way one more time.
"No, you don't," he replied, a knowing smile on his lips. "You just hate that you can't help but get all hot and bothered whenever I'm around."
"You're really are such a little bitch," you spat, but even as the words left your mouth, you felt a strange thrill.
"And you're a firecracker, Piastri. That's what makes this so fun."
"You're so full of yourself," you retorted, but the words lacked their usual bite. The alcohol was making it hard to keep up your defenses, and Carlos's close proximity was doing strange things to your resolve.
"Maybe," he conceded, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. "But I think you like it more than you let on."
Before you could argue back, Carlos took another step closer, his body almost pressing against yours. The tension between you crackled like electricity, and despite your best efforts, you found yourself unable to pull away.
"You're infuriating," you muttered, your heart pounding in your chest.
"And you," he said, his breath warm against your ear, "are insufferable."
Without another word, he closed the gap between you, capturing your lips in a fierce, almost desperate kiss. It was a collision of anger, frustration, and undeniable chemistry, and you couldn't help but respond in kind.
Your hands found their way to his hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands as you kissed him back with equal fervor. His hands roamed down your back, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you.
What the hell was happening?
For a moment, all the animosity, all the bickering, melted away. It was messy, it was intense, and it was everything you hadn't realized you wanted.
When you finally pulled away, breathless and dazed, you could see the same mix of surprise and desire reflected in Carlos' eyes.
Before either of you could say anything, you were interrupted by Lando's voice calling out your name. You quickly stepped back, putting some distance between you and Carlos as Lando approached, a curious look on his face.
"Everything okay here?" Lando asked, glancing between the two of you.
"Just fine," you replied, giving Carlos a final, challenging look. "Just fine."
Carlos nodded, his smirk returning. "See you around, Piastri."
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2024 SEASON
Formula 1 was back and in full swing. And with that your "nepo sister" privileges, which included traveling with Oscar for races came back too.
You were excited for this season, Oscar was no longer a rookie and he had a lot to prove, and you couldn't wait to see him rise to the challenge.
In addition to that, this season was going to be extra interesting, since the news of your least favorite driver on the grid (or at least the one you swore you hated) being replaced by Lewis Hamilton in Ferrari were announced a few weeks prior.
"Did you hear the news?" Oscar asked, making his way to you.
"What news?" you replied, setting down your coffee cup.
"Lewis Hamilton is moving to Ferrari next season," Oscar said, watching your reaction closely.
Your eyes widened in surprise. "Wait, what? So the little bitch is out?"
Oscar nodded. "Yeah, it's going to be an interesting season."
Carlos Sainz was both a source of irritation and inexplicable attraction. You had tried to push the memory of that kiss at Jimmy'z to the back of your mind all winter long, but you just couldn't stop thinking about it.
Plus, Lando was firm on his mission of making wither of you confess that apparently you "liked each other", which made ignoring the whole situation even harder.
You just hoped that he would keep it chill this season, not bothering either you or Oscar so you could just pretend he didn't exist.
With that thought on your mind, you made your way back to the hotel. You spent the day exploring around Bahrain with Oscar and Lando, and now you were ready to unwind in your room. The boys deciding to spend a few more hours walking around before heading back.
Once in the lobby, you stepped into the elevator, pressing the button for your floor. Just as the doors were about to close, a familiar hand slipped in, forcing them open.
Carlos Sainz stepped inside, his ever-present smirk firmly in place.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear, they say.
"Not going to say hello, querida?" he said after a few seconds of complete silence from you, leaning against the elevator wall.
"Carlos. Still popping up where you're least wanted, I see," you rolled your eyes, folding your arms over your chest.
"Missed you too, Piastri," he chuckled, pushing off the wall to stand closer you, "How was your break?"
"Great, thanks for asking," you replied coolly. "Did you enjoy yours, planning how to be a pain to other drivers this season too?"
"Is that really how you want to start our first conversation of the season?" Carlos raised an eyebrow, "I though we've left that in the past, specially after what happened at the end of last year."
You tensed at his statement. More than once during the break, you wondered if he remembered what happened that night. He was as drunk was you were, if not more, so you convinced yourself that he had forgotten about it.
"I don't remember much from that night. Must have been the champagne."
Carlos leaned in slightly, his voice low and teasing. "Oh, I think you remember perfectly well. Especially the kiss."
Your heart skipped a beat, but you kept your expression neutral. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Playing dumb doesn't suit you," he said with a chuckle. "But fine, we'll pretend it never happened. For now."
"Good," you replied sharply. "Because I have no intention of discussing it."
"Maybe you're playing dumb because you want me to kiss you again," Carlos teased, making you throw your head back in frustration.
"I'd rather choke on my own spit, little bitch,"
"Ahh, missed hearing that," Carlos said, his tone cocky and satisfied with your frustration. You mentally cursed the elevator for taking so long to get to your fucking floor.
"You know what? I hope you don't find a seat for next season at all. You act like a total peacock when everyone knows you're basically unemployed right now," you spitted out before you could even think twice.
Carlos raised an eyebrow, his expression momentarily serious. "Low blow, Piastri. Even for you."
You held his gaze defiantly, refusing to back down. "Just stating the obvious."
The elevator finally dinged, announcing your floor, and you stepped out swiftly, eager to end the conversation before it could escalate further.
Carlos Sainz had a way of getting under your skin like no one else, and the season had only just begun.
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ynpiastri and we’re back 🏁 i promise to make this season drama free
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username1 ICON IS BACKKKK
username2 nooo we need you to keep dragging sainz
mclaren Our favorite nepo sister 🧡
↳ ynpiastri that’s meeee
username3 yn always gives us lily x oscar content bless her
charles_leclerc What if I need you to fight someone from the grid for me?
↳ ynpiastri you know there’s one person i would gladly drag through the mood
↳ username1 HER HATRED FOR CARLOS LIVES
lilyzneimer love youuu✨
oscarpiastri Cute picture of me and Lily, thank u sis
↳ ynpiastri i’m just here for my babies 🫡
landonorris I know your reasons
↳ ynpiastri you’re so strange sometimes
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It was a sunny day in Melbourne, and the paddock was buzzing with excitement. The Australian Grand Prix was always a favorite, and this year was no exception.
You felt good to be back home, you always felt proud when you saw Oscar on the track, but seeing him racing in your home country was something even more special.
Carlos was also back from his emergency surgery and ready to race again. And even though you would never admit it out loud, you were relieved to see him back and healthy. The news of his appendicitis had shocked you more than you’d expected, and you’d found yourself genuinely concerned about his wellbeing.
I'm just being a decent human being, you tried to convince yourself, It would be really scary if that happened to Oscar or Lando.
Walking through the paddock, you looked for a familiar face to hang out with before it was time for the track action to start, spotting Lando's back talking to someone you couldn't quite identify, you decided to approach him.
As you got closer, Lando shifted slightly, revealing the person he was talking to, Carlos.
He looked well, a healthy glow back in his cheeks, his smile easy and relaxed. He was wearing his team gear, the Ferrari red suiting him perfectly. His dark hair was slightly tousled, and despite the casual setting, he looked effortlessly handsome for someone who had a major surgery just two weeks ago.
Your stomach did a little flip. You hated to admit it, but lately your hatred towards Carlos had cooled down. Maybe it was the memory of that kiss, seeing him vulnerable after his surgery or the fact that he had been decent to Oscar so far. You couldn't deny that there was something about him that made you feel… softer.
However, you decided to ignore those thoughts and feelings every time they got to your head, because at the end of the day, there was no way he could ever feel or think the same way. It was better to keep hating each other.
Lando noticed you approaching and gave you a teasing grin. "Hey, YN! Look who’s back from the dead!"
Carlos turned to face you, his eyes lighting up when he saw you. "Hey, Piastri," he greeted with a warm smile. "Back to your home turf, huh?"
"Yeah," you replied, trying to keep your tone casual despite the flutter in your chest. "It feels good to be back."
Lando gave Carlos a pat on the shoulder. "I'll catch up with you later, mate," he said, winking at you before walking away, leaving the two of you alone.
You stood there for a moment, awkward silence filling the air. Maybe he was still tired from what he had been through, but he didn't show any signs of cockiness or wanting to annoy you this time.
"You look well," you finally said, your voice softer than usual. "I'm glad you're back."
Carlos chuckled, his eyes twinkling. "I heard you were worried about me."
"Don't let it go to your head," you replied quickly, though the usual bite in your tone was missing. You felt a bit embarrassed that he knew, "I’m just being a decent human being."
"Of course," Carlos said, his voice nonchalant, "Decent human being, sure."
"I’m serious," you insisted, though your voice lacked the usual edge. "But I am glad you’re okay. It must have been scary."
Carlos’s expression softened. "It was. But I had good doctors, and I’m ready to race again. Thanks for worrying."
There was silence again, and you noticed that this was the first time you and Carlos had an interaction that didn't include biting each other's heads off.
It felt nice.
"Well," you said after a minute of silence, "don’t expect me to go easy on you just because you had surgery. You're still on my watch."
"Wouldn’t have it any other way," Carlos smirked, "But for the record, it’s nice to see you care, even if you won’t admit it."
"Don't push your luck, Sainz," you warned, but there was a hint of playfulness in your voice.
"I wouldn't dare, Piastri."
"I should get going," you said, pointing towards the McLaren hospitality, "Good luck out there."
As you turned to walk away, Carlos's voice stopped you in your tracks.
You glanced back at him, eyebrows raised in question.
"You know, this is the first time you don't call me a little bitch," Carlos said, a small playing on his face.
"What, you miss it already? Does it turn you own?"
"Maybe a little," Carlos chuckled, "Keeps things interesting."
You shook your head, trying to hide the smile that threatened to spread across your face.
"Well, good luck out there, little bitch."
You didn't wait to see his reaction, but you knew he was grinning from ear to ear.
Later that day, Carlos crossed the finish line first and won the Australian Grand Prix, sending the crowd into a frenzy. You watched as Carlos celebrated on the podium, spraying champagne with Lando and Charles and holding up the winner's trophy with pride.
You swore you played it cool, but everyone around you noticed the huge smile on your face.
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username1 AUSSIE QUEEN
username2 omfg included a picture of sainz win??
↳ username1 how pissed do you think she was bc he won in australia
↳ username3 i love that she didn’t tag him tho 😭
alexandrasaintmleux Mama piastri >> 🫶
↳ ynpiastri our real queen
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↳ oscarpiastri Aussie traditions mate
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"You're not my best friend," Lando said, sitting on the plush couch of your hotel room, watching as you put a sweatshirt on, "You've been replaced with an alien or an evil twin, there's no way you're YN Piastri."
"Can you quit being dramatic," you rolled your eyes at him, "It's no big deal."
"You're grabbing sushi with Carlos Sainz," he stressed, moving his hands to emphasize, "You hate Carlos Sainz, it's been an issue for me for the last year because both of you force me to pick sides and I have to make sure you don't kill each other. And now you're suddenly going on dates."
"This is not a date," you protested, "Don't even say that out loud, it's gross."
"Then what is it? Because he asked you out and you said yes, that's literally a date."
You didn't give him a reply right away, hiding behind your your busy hands as you pretended to adjust your sweatshirt.
Truth was, you didn’t have an answer, at least not one that made sense. You couldn't blame Lando for thinking you've been replaced with someone else, because you'd never accept anything from Carlos last year, let alone willingly grab dinner with him.
But here you were, about to head out to meet him.
"I just want free dinner," you shrugged, "And he offered to buy it, so I'm taking advantage of it."
"Sure, free dinner," Lando gave you a skeptical look, crossing his arms, "Because you’ve never had other options for free dinner before, right? Your brother is rich, he could buy you whatever you want."
You huffed, trying to sound annoyed but feeling a bit defensive. "It's just sushi, Lando. Stop making it a big deal."
"You know, it's okay if you like him," he said, his tone genuine. "I mean, I get why you're hesitant, but it's fine to have feelings for someone, even if it's Carlos Sainz."
"Are you out of your mind?" you immediately said, your voice sharper than intended, "We're talking about the little bitch, what on earth makes you think that I could have feelings for him other than disgust and irritation."
"I don't know, maybe the fact that you're getting ready to get dinner with him, or that you were on the edge of your seat worrying the entire time he was recovering from the surgery, or the time I almost caught you kiss-"
"God, just shut up," you interrupted him, "Oscar would understand. He knows I'm never going to get all lovey-dovey over Carlos."
"Oscar might buy whatever you tell him," Lando raised an eyebrow, "But that doesn't mean you're being honest with yourself. It's not the end of the world to admit you might have a crush."
"I do not have a crush on him," you insisted, your cheeks heating up. "It's just... complicated."
"Complicated how?" Lando pressed, leaning forward. "Because from where I'm sitting, it looks pretty straightforward. You’re intrigued by him, he’s intrigued by you, and you both can’t seem to stay away from each other."
You let his words sink in, Lando might be a year younger than you, and often perceived as a carefree guy who didn't have a serious bone in his body. But in reality, he was a very wise person who understood the complexities of situations better than most.
That was one of the reasons why he was your best friend.
"Look, it’s not that simple," you sighed, rubbing your temples, "We have history, and not the good kind. I don't trust him, and I don’t think he trusts me either. We're just… trying to be civil for once."
"That's good," Lando stood up from the couch, sitting beside you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders, "Honestly I was tired of dealing with your constant bickering, if you didn't kiss and make up on your own, I was going to lock you up in a closet until you resolved it."
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username1 BESTIEEEE
username2 THIS LOOKS LIKE A DATE
alexandrasaintmleux I just texted you !!!
↳ username1 LET ME INNNN
f1gossip 👀
username3 CARLOS SAINZ ???
↳ username1 girl no way they hate each other
↳ username2 he’s in the likes tho 😭
landonorris IM FREEEEE WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFEEEE
↳ username1 wtfffff
oscarpiastri Answer my texts right now please
↳ username1 IM SCREAMING
↳ username2 OSCAR 😩
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After a nice dinner and a couple of drinks, you and Carlos walked back to the hotel. The sushi had been surprisingly good, and the conversation… surprisingly pleasant.
The bickering between you was still present, but this time it wasn't harsh or spiteful, it was playful and and light-hearted. The tension that usually accompanied your interactions had lessened, and you actually acted friendly towards each other.
"I still can't believe you made me try that weird seaweed thing," you said, bumping your shoulder against his as you walked.
"You loved it, admit it," Carlos chuckled.
"Maybe a little," you conceded with a small smile, "How did you know this place anyways?"
"I like reading restaurant reviews online," he shrugged, "It's a random hobby of mine, and I'm going to need those in case I don't have a job next year."
You paused, his words sinking in. Carlos joked about it, but you knew the uncertainty of his future in Formula 1 must be horrible. The sport is cutthroat, and the thought of not finding a seat to race must be weighing on him heavily. It made you think about Oscar, and how that could happen to him too.
"I'm sorry for saying that I hope you don't find a seat next season," you blurted out, feeling a pang of guilt. "You're right, that was low, even for me."
"Are you really apologizing, Piastri?" he teased, "First you cared about my health, now you apologize. What's next? You'll stop calling me a little bitch?"
You rolled your eyes, but there was no malice behind it. "Don't push your luck, Sainz. Just take the apology and run with it."
"Alright, I'll take it," Carlos laughed, a genuine sound that made your heart skip a beat, "You must be praying I stay just so you have an excuse to argue with me, aren't you?"
"Don't flatter yourself," you shot back, grinning. "I can argue with anyone."
"But you like arguing with me the most," he said, his voice softening.
You didn't reply, the truth in his words making your heart race. From the corner of your eye, you saw the satisfied grin on his face.
Soon enough you reached the hotel lobby, and once you walked through the doors you spotted Charles and Alexandra by the reception desk.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Charles called out, drawing the attention of Alex, who looked at you with raised eyebrows.
"Just coming back from dinner," you replied, trying to keep your tone casual. "What are you two up to?"
"We were just about to head up," Alexandra said, linking her arm with Charles's. "How was dinner?"
"Surprisingly good," Carlos said, glancing at you with a smirk.
Charles raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "This is new. You two actually getting along?"
"Don't get used to it," you said, rolling your eyes. "I just wanted free dinner."
"Right," Charles said, not convinced. "Well, we're heading up, you coming?"
You all piled into the elevator, the small space filled with a mix of comfortable silence and light conversation. When the elevator reached your floor, you stepped out, Carlos following close behind.
"Goodnight, guys," Alex called out as the elevator doors closed, giving you a look that screamed 'TEXT ME ASAP'
Carlos walked you to your room, the hallway dimly lit and quiet. As you walked side by side, the occasional brush of his arm against yours sent small shivers down your spine.
"So, the only reason you agreed to come with me tonight was because you wanted free dinner?" Carlos asked once you reached your room.
"Exactly, what else do you think would make me want to spend an evening with you?"
Carlos chuckled, leaning against the wall beside your door. "I don't know, maybe my charming personality and good looks?"
"Charming?" you raised your eyebrows at him, "You're literally the most annoying person I know."
"Likewise, Piastri," Carlos shot back, his smirk widening, "But here we are, aren't we?"
"You really think you're that special, don't you?" you said, rolling your eyes.
"I know I am, querida," Carlos replied, stepping closer. "And you can't get enough of me."
You looked away from him, his stare suddenly becoming overwhelming. He was really close, as close as he was the night you kissed at Jimmy'z, and even thinking about it has your neck crawling away in sweat.
"See? You can't even deny it." Carlos grinned, his eyes locking onto yours again, his voice dropping an octave as he took another step closer.
"Don't get any ideas," you warned, but your heart was racing, and you were sure he could hear it.
"I can't help it," he said softly, his face now inches from yours. "You bring out the best in me, Piastri."
"I still hate you," you whispered, your breath hitching as he leaned in even closer.
"No, you don't," Carlos whispered back, his lips brushing against yours.
Before you could protest, he closed the distance and kissed you. It was gentle at first, tentative, as if he was giving you a chance to pull away. But when you didn't, the kiss deepened, becoming more intense and filled with a raw passion that took your breath away.
Your hands found their way to his shoulders, gripping tightly as you kissed him back, losing yourself in the moment. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you even closer.
When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, a small smile playing on Carlos's lips.
"Goodnight, Piastri," he whispered, his voice husky.
Unable to move from your spot, you watched him walk through the corridor and disappear into the elevator doors, your mind still blurry about what happened just seconds ago.
You were fucked.
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A playlist full of pop classics played as you got ready for Lando's millionth win celebration.
He took the win at the Miami Grand Prix and the next following days were full of partying and champagne. You were beyond happy for him, and willing to put up with his multiple celebrations of his well deserved win.
This time, the setting was not that over the top, just a casual dinner at his place in Monaco with his close friends.
"Can I come in?" you heard after a knock on Oscar's guest bedroom, the place where you stayed when visiting Monaco.
"Sure," you replied, quickly meeting with your brother's figure.
Oscar entered the room, a casual grin on his face. He glanced around before his eyes settled on you. "Are you almost ready?"
"Yeah," you replied, adjusting an earring. "I hope this is Lando's last celebration, I can't keep up anymore.
"He's definitely on a roll," Oscar chuckled, "You know, Carlos is going to be there."
"I know," you said, looking away from him for a moment and trying to keep your tone nonchalant.
"You do?" Oscar raised a eyebrow.
"He's Lando's best friend, Osc, it's obvious he'll be there."
Oscar nodded slowly, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "Right, of course. But you two have been getting close lately, haven't you? You didn't even come for his neck after Miami, and you always do that."
You sighed, knowing where this conversation was heading. There was no denying that there was something between you and Carlos, your friends might not know about the times you've kissed, but they definitely noticed the shift in your behavior towards each other.
You found yourself enjoying his company, looking forward to catch a glimpse of him every weekend and craving his touch. You don't know if he feels the same way, but the way he looks at you and finds ways to get you alone tells you he does.
Admitting this to Oscar felt like crossing a line, even though he had always encouraged you to be open about your feelings.
"We're just… getting along better. That's all," you muttered, "And you asked me to behave on social media this season, I'm trying to do that."
"That's bullshit, YN," Oscar shook his head, a teasing smile forming on his lips, "Come on, admit it. Maybe the real reason you didn't attack him this time is because you like him."
"Oscar, we're not having this conversation," you quickly became defensive, "I don't know why everyone insist on something that's far from the truth. I don't like Sainz."
"Sis, it's okay if you like him," Oscar said, his tone gentle but insistent. "You don't have to hide it from me."
You looked away, feeling conflicted. Ever since you first met Carlos, there was something about him that intrigued you, however, you were too caught up in convincing yourself that he would never see you as more than his brand new rival's sister. Things getting worse when his incidents with Oscar on track started and you took that as an opportunity to be reckless to him.
It was a self defense mechanism for your own feelings.
"It's complicated, okay?" you said, feeling vulnerable but knowing you could trust him, "We spent last year coming from each other's necks all the time, but now he's nice to me and I am too, we spend time together, we kiss. But at the same time, I feel like I can't trust him, that he's going to switch to little bitch mode again and I'll end up feeling stupid for potentially catching feelings."
"Holy shit you've kissed!" Oscar said, his eyes widening, "Lando was right all along."
"Oh god, I shouldn't have said anything," you threw your head back in frustration.
"Sorry, sorry," he put his hands up in defense, "But It's okay to feel confused. You can talk to me, you know. I'm your brother, and I just want you to be happy. I can tell that this is really bothering you."
You sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I just don't know what to do, Osc. One minute I think I might actually like him, and the next I'm terrified of getting hurt."
"Look, I know Carlos can be intense on track, but off track? He's a good guy," Oscar sat beside you, putting an arm around your shoulders, "When he's not trying to push me off the track, he's really supportive and a nice guy. There's a reason why Lando adores him. Plus, maybe he's figuring things out too."
You leaned into Oscar's side, grateful for his comforting presence. "Do you really think so?"
"Yeah, I do," Oscar nodded reassuringly. "And you deserve to give yourself a chance at happiness. If Carlos could make you happy, then why not see where it goes?"
"When did you become so wise?" you teased, giving him a small smile, "You're supposed to be my annoying little brother who picks his nose and runs around the house."
"Hey, I can be wise when I want to be," Oscar chuckled, giving you a playful shove, "But don't worry, I'll always be your annoying little brother, nose-picking and all."
You laughed, feeling some of the tension ease from your shoulders. "Thanks, Osc. I needed this."
"Anytime, sis," Oscar said warmly, giving you a quick hug. "Now, come on. Lando is probably drunk already and we haven't made it to his house yet."
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liked by carlossainz55, alexandrasaintmleux and 215,726 others
ynpiastri the rumors are true: lando norris keeps celebrating his miami win even tho it’s been a week
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username1 so iconic tbh
username2 EXCUSE ME MISS IS THAT CARLOS SAINZ IN THE LAST PIC ??
↳ username1 i thought they hated each other 😭
danielricciardo 🙌
alexandrasaintmleux 👀 I see you
↳ ynpiastri and i don’t see you over her which means your boyfriend sucks for not bringing you
↳ charles_leclerc …..
landonorris IM V DRVNK OMG
↳ username3 i love him 😭😭😭😩
username4 carlos sainz and yn piastri the ultimate enemies to lovers lowkey
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You're not sure how it happened, but Carlos' arm laid casually in the back of your chair as you chatted with those around you. His fingers gently brushed your bare shoulder from time to time, his thigh pressed to yours under the table.
Maybe it was the couple glasses of champagne you both had, you're not sure. But you definitely didn't want to move from your spot.
No one dared to say anything about it, but your friends had teasing grins at the sight. You knew you'll have to deal with them later, but you decided to ignore it for the night.
"Alright, I think I'm calling it a night," Oscar said as he got up from his chair, Lando immediately booed, "Are you coming, YN?"
You looked at him with raised eyebrows, you definitely didn't want to leave yet, feeling too comfortable in Carlos' presence. In addition to that, you haven't had a chance to get him alone, and that was enough to not want the night to end.
After a minute of silence from you, Carlos spoke up, "I can give her a ride home if she doesn't want to leave yet," he offered, his voice smooth and nonchalant.
"Oh, a private chauffeur service now, Carlos? How fancy," Max teased from across the table, making the entire group laugh.
Oscar hesitated, glancing between you and Carlos, his protective instincts kicking in. "Are you okay with that, YN?"
"Yeah, I'm okay with it," you met Oscar's eyes and nodded, "Or I can just crash here, Lando is too drunk to notice anyway, don't want to cause much trouble."
"It's really no trouble," he insisted, his hand still resting gently on your shoulder. "I'll make sure you get home safely."
Oscar seemed to relax a bit, though you could tell he was still a little uneasy. "Alright then. Just... be careful, okay?"
"Don't worry, Osc," you replied, standing up and giving him a quick hug. "I'll see you tomorrow."
As Oscar left, the group continued to tease and laugh. You always enjoyed when the drivers were in a casual setting like this one, where they could forget about competition and teams and just hang out and have fun.
You stayed glued to Carlos the entire time, getting even closer as the night went on, you could feel your eyelids getting heavy, so you laid your head on his shoulder.
"You're falling asleep on me, hermosa," Carlos whispered to you, not moving your head from its place.
"I'm not," you protested, but at the same time you did a yawn escaped your mouth, which made Carlos laugh.
"Come on let's get you home," Carlos offered you his hand.
You took Carlos' hand, not even thinking twice about it. As you both stood to leave, your friends couldn't resist one last round of teasing.
"No funny business, Carlos," Charles called out, grinning widely. You couldn't help but roll your eyes at him. "We have Oscar on speed dial."
"Yeah, don't make me come after you, that's also my sister," Lando added, too drunk to even make sense.
You laughed, waving goodbye to everyone as you and Carlos made your way out. The cool night air was refreshing as you walked to his car, your hand still in his.
The drive to Oscar's place was quiet but comfortable. Carlos kept one hand on the wheel, the other resting on the center console close to you. You found yourself stealing glances at him, admiring the way the streetlights played over his features.
At one point, Carlos glanced over and caught you staring. "You're staring," he said, a smirk playing on his lips.
You felt your cheeks heat up but didn't look away. "Maybe I am," you replied, a teasing edge in your voice. "You have a problem with that?"
"Not at all, Piastri. Not at all."
When you arrived at Oscar's place, Carlos parked the car but you made no move to get out. The silence stretched between you, heavy with unspoken words and lingering tension.
"Are you ready to stop pretending we hate each other?" Carlos asked suddenly, his voice low and earnest. "Because I am."
His words hung in the air, causing your heart to skip a beat. The intensity in his gaze made it clear he wasn't playing around or teasing you. He was being real and serious.
You took a deep breath, your eyes locking onto his. "Yeah, I am."
Your heart pounded in your chest as you closed the distance between you, your lips meeting his in a kiss. His hand cupped your cheek, pulling you closer as his lips moved against yours with a mix of tenderness and hunger. The world outside the car ceased to exist, and all that mattered was the way his kiss made you feel.
Carlos' other hand found its way to the back of your neck, deepening the kiss as he pressed you closer. Your hands tangled in his hair, holding on as if letting go meant losing this moment forever.
When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting against each other as you tried to catch your breath. Carlos' eyes searched yours, a satisfied smile playing on his lips.
"But… I'm not ready to stop calling you a little bitch, though."
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wordsofwhimsy · 2 months ago
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ᴄᴜᴛ ᴅᴇᴇᴘ, ᴋɪꜱꜱ ʜᴀʀᴅ ʚ♡ɞ
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Pairing: Lenless [No Goggles]!Mark Grayson x f!Reader
Warnings: Fucking fiiiilth, smut bitches!!!
Tags: Threats of violence including self harm, absolutely toxic behavior, reader matching his freak in the worst way
Word Count: 2,814
Inspiration: “None of Ur Friends Business” – Ginuwine
Synopsis: Your dangerously unhinged not-boyfriend threatens to “take care” of the friends of yours that keep trying to pull you away from him, and you are having none of it. literally a crazy stand-off
a/n: you know i had to jump on it after this anon message!! god he’s such a damn psychopath, need that 🤪
His hands are warm—too warm—palming your waist like he owns it. The soft press of his mouth against yours is hungry but practiced, like he’s done this in his head a thousand times and tonight he’s just filling in the details.
You’re trying to stay focused. Trying not to melt into him completely. But his knee is nudged between your thighs and your hands are fisted in his shirt and—God—he smells like the night. Wind and sweat and danger.
And he feels it. The shift.
Mark pulls back just barely, his breath brushing against your lips. “What?”
You blink up at him, chest rising and falling too fast. “I… I don’t know if this is a good idea.”
He laughs—low, sharp, a little breathless. “You say that with your hands still on me.”
You pull back further, guilt blooming under your skin. “It’s not me. My friends… they don’t think I should be around you.”
Mark’s eyes flicker, and something inside them cracks. Not anger. Not surprise. Something worse. That slow, dangerous amusement he gets when he’s too far gone to care.
“Ohhh,” he says, sitting back on his heels, still straddling your legs. “Them.”
You shift, tugging the hem of your shirt down, suddenly too aware of how vulnerable you are underneath him.
“They think you’re… I don’t know, unstable,” you murmur. “That I’m not thinking straight when I’m with you.”
He tilts his head, watching you like you’re some kind of puzzle he’s already solved. “And are they wrong?” You hesitate. His grin widens. “Didn’t think so.”
“Mark…”
He leans down again, slower this time, arms caging you in as his voice drops to a whisper. “You think they know what this is? What we are?”
Your heart stutters. “It’s not that simple.”
“It is,” he murmurs, mouth brushing your jaw. “They don’t get a say.”
“You can’t just—”
“Yes, I can.” His eyes meet yours. Calm. Controlled. Unsettling. “Because I don’t care what they think. And you don’t either, not really.”
You shake your head, but it’s weak. Your resistance is paper-thin and he knows it.
“They don’t know what it’s like when you look at me like that,” Mark mutters, voice velvet-dark, “like you want me and hate yourself for it.” You swallow hard, trying to find your footing in a conversation that’s already sinking fast.
“They’re just looking out for me,” you say, weaker than you mean to.
Mark hums, dragging his fingers up your thigh like he’s barely paying attention—which only makes it worse.
“Yeah? Then maybe they should spend less time worrying about you and more time fixing their own messes.” His tone is too casual. Too cutting.
You frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He looks at you like it’s obvious. Like he’s been holding back and is just now getting bored of pretending.
“Let’s start with Lauren,” he says, like he’s choosing a weapon. “She’s real concerned about your well-being for someone who’s still sleeping with her ex behind her current boyfriend’s back.”
You freeze.
“And Maya?” He laughs under his breath. “She’s got a lot to say about how ‘toxic’ I am for a girl who gets blackout drunk just to forget she texts her therapist at 3am.”
“Mark—”
He leans in, grinning, like he’s telling you a secret. “They don’t care about you. They just don’t want you to have something they don’t have.”
You open your mouth to argue, but he cuts you off, voice dropping low and dangerous.
“Especially your girl Sadie.” His eyes are locked on yours now, completely still. “The way she looks at me?”
Your breath catches.
Mark's lips curve into something that’s almost a smirk, but there's something sharp underneath. “So obvious. Like she wants me to look at her the way I look at you. Like she’d lose her mind if I touched her the way I touch you.”
Your skin prickles. “You’re imagining things.”
He chuckles, and the sound is mean. “You really think I don’t notice? She doesn’t even breathe when I walk into a room. Like she’s hoping I’ll slip and touch her by accident.”
His fingers trail up your arm, slow and lazy. “But I won’t. You know why?”
You’re quiet.
He leans in, mouth just brushing your ear. “Because she’s not you.”
You shove at his chest—not hard, but sharp enough to get the message across. “You’re such an asshole.”
Mark barely moves. Just blinks, lazy and slow, like a cat watching its prey squirm.
“Yeah,” he says. “And?”
You sit up, untangling yourself from under him, heart pounding. “You don’t get to talk about them like that. They’re my friends, Mark.”
He watches you now, eyes darkening. The grin slips, just slightly.
“They’re hypocrites,” he says coolly. “They don’t like me because I don’t kiss ass and pretend I’m something I’m not. And you—” He leans in before you can react, voice low and dangerous. “—you like that about me.”
You flinch back. “You don’t know what I like.”
He scoffs. “Don’t I?”
His hand shoots out, grabbing your wrist—not hard, not painful, but firm. Controlled. You freeze.
“That little act you pull?” he says, head tilting. “Like you’re just so confused, like you don’t know if this is right?” His thumb brushes your pulse. “It’s bullshit. You keep coming back. You let me touch you. You want me here.”
Your stomach flips, anger warring with the way your skin burns under his touch.
“I want you gone,” you whisper. He laughs again, and this time it’s ugly. Sharp and disbelieving.
“No, you don’t.” He shifts closer, crowding into your space again. “You’re mad because I said what you’re too scared to admit. That your friends aren’t saints. That Sadie wants me. That deep down, you love the fact that she can’t have me.”
“Mark—”
“You want me all to yourself. And you hate that you do.”
You yank your arm back. “You’re insane.”
He smiles. There’s no denial. No apology.
“You knew that when you let me in your bed.”
You stare at him, heart pounding, jaw clenched so tight it hurts.
“You’re sick,” you whisper, voice shaking. “You think this is normal?”
Mark doesn’t even blink.
“No,” he says easily. “But I think it’s honest.”
You push at him again, harder this time. He lets you—for now. You scramble off the bed, putting distance between you like that could somehow make this safer. Make him safer.
“I’m done,” you say, trying to sound stronger than you feel. “This was a mistake.” He tilts his head, eyes tracking your every move like he’s amused by the performance.
“I really don’t like how much they distract you,” he says, tone casual—too casual. “Your friends.” You go still. Mark’s gaze sharpens. “Always in your ear. Telling you what to think. What to feel. Pulling you away from me.”
“Don’t,” you say, voice rising. “Don’t go there—”
“I’m just saying,” he cuts in, standing now, slow and unbothered. “Maybe it’d be easier if they were gone.”
Your blood turns to ice.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Mark shrugs. “Just a thought. Clean slate. No distractions. Just you and me.”
Your mouth opens—no sound comes out. You swallow, steady yourself, and find your voice. “You don’t mean that,” you whisper. “You’re just trying to scare me.”
His smile is all teeth. “Why would I want to scare you?” He starts to cross the room toward you and you instinctively step back. “I like you,” he says softly. “I don’t want to scare you. I want to protect you. And if that means getting rid of people who are bad for you…”
He trails off, as if he’s genuinely thinking it over. “…then maybe it’s not that crazy.”
“If you touch a single hair on their heads,” you hiss, “I swear to God, you will never get to touch me again.”
Mark goes still for a second, like he’s processing that, weighing it. Then he scoffs. Loud. Dismissive. Cruel. “You think you can stop me?” he says, stepping forward with that wolfish grin. “If I want you—” His voice drops an octave, sickly sweet, almost a purr. “—I’ll just take you.”
And in one motion, without flinching, without breaking eye contact, your hand shoots out to your desk. The cold metal of the scissors hits your palm.
Mark’s smile falters as you lift them up, pressing the tip against your own throat. Just hard enough to leave a mark. Just long enough to make your point.
“I will literally end it right here,” you hiss, voice shaking with fury—not fear. “Do not fuck with me.”
Silence.
Heavy. Dense.
Mark stares at you like he doesn’t even recognize you. Like you just flipped some internal switch he didn’t know existed.
His chest rises, then falls—slow. Controlled.
“…Whoa,” he breathes.
You press the blade in just slightly deeper, enough to make his jaw clench.
“I’m not your little toy,” you snap. “You don’t own me. You don’t get to hurt the people I care about just because you’re obsessed with me.”
“I’m not—”
“Yes, you are,” you spit. “You are absolutely obsessed. And I’ve let you get away with it because you’re hot and you kiss like you invented sin, but I swear to God, Mark—”
You jab the scissors toward him now, and he flinches. The grin is gone. He’s listening.
“You pull one more psycho stunt, and I’m gone. Not just gone—I will erase myself from your life so fast, it’ll make that little broken brain of yours crack in half.”
He blinks. Then runs a hand through his hair, pacing a little like he doesn’t know whether to be angry, aroused, or in awe.
“Jesus Christ,” he mutters. “You’re out of your goddamn mind.”
You lower the scissors, your voice cool and even.
“Takes one to know one.”
Mark just stares at you. Breathing hard. Jaw clenched. That frayed little thread of control he was holding onto? It’s gone. Burned up in the fire between you.
And you—you’re still gripping the scissors. Chest rising and falling like you just ran a marathon straight through hell.
“You are,” he says finally, voice low, wrecked. “So out of your fucking mind.”
You toss the scissors onto the desk with a loud clatter.
“Guess you finally met your match.”
He takes one slow, deliberate step toward you. Then another. Eyes locked on yours like he’s looking at the only thing in the world that makes sense anymore.
“You’d really do it,” he mutters, half-laughing. “You’d die just to spite me.”
You blink once. “And you’d kill for me.”
He stops right in front of you now, inches away. His smile is wild. Reverent.
“I’d kill for you,” he echoes, voice rough and quiet, “and you’d die just to spite me.”
A beat passes. Then another.
And it snaps.
He grabs your face with both hands like he’s afraid you’ll disappear, crashing his mouth into yours with zero hesitation—hungry, desperate, possessive. Like he’s been waiting forever to kiss you like this and now he’s afraid someone might take it away.
You kiss him back just as hard.
There’s no hesitation left. No doubts. Just teeth and hands and ragged breath, both of you pulling like you’ll tear the other apart. His hands are everywhere—your waist, your back, fisting in your shirt like he’s anchoring himself.
You gasp into his mouth, tugging at his hair, and he groans like it’s killing him.
“I need this,” he pants against your lips. “Right now.”
You nod, forehead against his, eyes burning.
“Then take it.”
That’s all he needs.
Mark doesn’t hesitate—his mouth crashes back onto yours like gravity just stopped working and you’re the only thing keeping him grounded. One hand fists in your hair while the other slides down, grabs the back of your thigh and lifts, walking you backward like he owns the floor you’re stepping on.
You’re on the bed in seconds. Breathless. Legs parting before you can think, just to feel him there, all heat and muscle and sharp, chaotic want.
“You drive me insane,” he growls, dragging his mouth down your throat. “You threaten me with scissors and then tell me to fuck you—what the hell is wrong with you?”
Your hands claw at his shirt, yanking it up over his head.
“I learned it from you, asshole.”
He laughs—dark and low, mouth brushing your collarbone. “Guess I’m a good influence after all.”
And then he’s everywhere.
His hands are rough, impatient, sliding under your shirt, dragging it up like he can’t get to your skin fast enough. Lips on your chest, your stomach, leaving bruises he wants you to see later. Mark is marking you—no pun intended—like it’s instinct, like he needs people to know whose you are the second they see you.
Your touching him back, his skin is hot under your hands—like he’s burning from the inside out, like if you peeled him open you’d find wildfire and want. His mouth doesn’t just kiss—it consumes, dragging over your skin like he’s trying to eat the memory of your friends, your doubts, your resistance. Like he wants to own every piece of you you’ve ever tried to keep from him.
You feel his smirk when you gasp, when your legs wrap tighter around his waist, dragging him closer. You’re not even sure who started it anymore. You can’t remember who kissed who first. Just that it was inevitable.
“You like this,” he growls against your throat, lips brushing just under your jaw as his fingers trail lower, dragging over your ribs like he’s memorizing them.
You try to sound strong. You try to bite it back.
But the sound you make when his hand slides between your legs? It’s not strong. It’s needy.
Mark fucking shudders.
“Jesus,” he whispers. “You’re soaked.”
“Shut up,” you snap, flushed and breathless. He laughs, and the sound vibrates through you.
His mouth ghosts over your nipple, tongue flicking, teasing. He pulls your underwear down slow, smirking when you arch into him.
His teeth sink into your thigh, just enough to leave a mark, and he groans like he’s been waiting his whole life to hear you say that. And when he finally slides into you, it’s with a low, rough growl—like it takes everything in him not to lose it then and there.
You’re so full, so tight, so perfectly wrong for each other it makes your eyes roll back.
His hips grind deep, hard, like he’s trying to bury himself somewhere beneath your skin. He’s panting in your ear, messy and raw, fingers tangled in your hair while yours scratch down his spine hard enough to leave tracks.
He likes it. You can feel it in the way his pace stutters, the way he moans—raw and low and real.
“I could ruin you,” he gasps against your lips. “You know that?”
“You already did,” you breathe.
And that’s it. That’s when he snaps.
He grabs your thigh, hikes it higher, and slams into you with a force that knocks the air from your lungs. The headboard cracks against the wall, but neither of you care. The room is nothing. The world is nothing.
Just this.
Just him.
Just you.
Your moans turn to sobs, his name ripped from your throat like a confession. “Harder,” you whisper against his neck.
He doesn’t hold back.
Your bodies move like war and worship—teeth clashing, breath tangling, sweat slicking your skin. Every thrust is a promise and a threat.
You moan his name and he mutters, “Say it again.”
“Mark—”
“Louder.”
“Mark—”
He leans in, lips brushing your ear. “You’re mine.”
You don’t disagree.
He’s everywhere.
He’s everything.
And when you cum—shaking, gasping, half-crying—he watches you like he’s witnessing something holy. Like he’s the one being touched by God.
“Mine,” he pants, grinding deeper, chasing his own release. “You’re mine, you’re fucking mine—”
And when he finishes, it’s with a broken, desperate groan, spilling into you like he’s giving you a piece of his soul and doesn’t care what you do with it.
Breathless silence.
Only the sound of your heaving chests, sweaty limbs tangled, skin burning.
Mark buries his face in your neck. His voice is hoarse, barely a whisper. “…You scare the shit out of me.”
You grin weakly, fingers threading through his hair. “Good.”
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Part Two - Brunch Edition!
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sixeyesonathiel · 11 days ago
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part 2 of male manipulator satoru and girl failure reader, part 1 here.
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satoru gojo is currently praying his atheist ass away—eyes squeezed shut like a little victorian child begging god for one good thing. just one. he didn’t ask for much. okay, he did, but this was different. this was righteous. this was divine intervention-worthy.
he peeked at the professor like someone peeking at lottery numbers.
please. please.
“alright,” the professor said, eyes scanning the roster. then they pointed, once at him, once at you. “gojo and… you—you’ll be in charge of the final presentation.”
and that’s the exact moment satoru decided life was beautiful. no—radiant. no—divine. like maybe, just maybe, the universe finally realized he was long overdue for a reward. the heavens cracked open and dropped a sliver of grace into his tragic academic life. him. you. a shared task. fate?
he didn’t even hear the rest of the professor’s words. everything around him muffled, cinematic, like one of those indie films with vintage filters and gentle piano playing in the background. his brain replaced reality with a movie trailer: you, laughing in a library corner with a sticky note on your nose; him, sliding his favorite pen your way (the smoothest gel ink, obviously); your fingers brushing; eye contact lingering; maybe you’ll say something soft like, “you’re not as unbearable as i thought.”
full delulu hour. male manipulator 2025 core. capital "m" Manifestation. someone get this man a tiktok edit.
and to be fair, it wasn’t entirely his fault. you had the sleeves he liked—oversized and always tugged over your hands, especially when you were anxious. you had the habit of barely looking at people when you spoke, except him. sometimes. maybe. he was 98% sure. 87% on bad days. but still. it counted.
he’d already picked out the hoodie to lend you when the aircon got too cold (dark gray, faint scent of fresh laundry and whatever cologne he'd overused during orientation week). he imagined the part where you fall asleep beside him while he heroically carried the emotional weight of the powerpoint. he’d nudge you awake with a smug grin and say something dumb like, “hey, sleeping beauty, we still gotta format this.”
except.
six hours later, he got a text:
hey! sorry, i think i’m gonna do the project solo if that’s ok? i work better alone :P
:P??!
satoru stared at the message like it had just called him ugly and then kicked him in the shins. he clutched his phone like it had personally betrayed him. his glasses slid slightly down the bridge of his nose, but he didn’t push them back up. not out of drama. just despair.
he immediately spiraled. went through the five stages of grief before his bubble tea turned room temperature and his straw grew tragically limp.
denial: “she’s joking. this is banter. our bit. classic.”
anger: “i am so fun to work with. i carry projects. she’s clearly ungrateful. possibly allergic to joy.”
bargaining: “what if i just do the citations? and she does, like, literally everything else? teamwork!”
depression: curled up in bed, chewing on stale pocky, dramatic sighs included. spotify playing nothing but sad lo-fi and a taylor swift playlist he pretended wasn’t his.
acceptance: (just kidding he never got to that part).
he begged the professor. like, begged.
he showed up during office hours, dropped the charm like a molotov cocktail, and spun the tale with wide eyes and practiced sincerity. “professor,” he said solemnly, leaning forward like a man on a mission, “she’s brilliant, sure, but she’s an island. she needs a partner. for balance. i’m the balance.”
(he was not the balance. he was delusional. dangerously.)
and of course, you found out.
“are you serious?” you hissed the next day, cornering him by the vending machines like a feral academic ghost. arms crossed so tightly he could see the tension bunching in your hoodie sleeves. your brows were knit hard enough to form permanent creases. your lips were tight. your jaw? locked like you were prepping for combat.
satoru blinked, startled. you were close. too close. his glasses fogged slightly. he fidgeted, fingers brushing over the strap of his bag. “what? i—i thought we were vibing?”
“we weren’t.”
a gut punch. no, a tactical missile to the ego. his smile faltered, slumped. “but you borrowed my pen last week,” he said, voice cracking around the edges of his carefully curated confidence.
“i was desperate,” you muttered flatly, but your eyes flicked away. just for a second.
he noticed. of course he noticed. he noticed everything.
your thumbs rubbed the inside of your sleeves—nervous. your gaze didn’t meet his. your weight shifted to one leg, like you were bracing for something. your lip twitched, barely, like you wanted to say more but bit it back.
“i just don’t like people relying on me, okay?” you added after a beat, voice quieter, more brittle, barely above the hum of the vending machine. the softness caught him off guard.
his panic reflex activated.
with no grace whatsoever, he dug into his bag and pulled out the sacred emergency mochi pack—strawberry, matcha, red bean. the good ones. he held them out like an offering. a truce. a pathetic, sugar-filled truce.
“uh. peace offering?”
you stared at him like he’d grown a second head.
then you sniffled.
then, with the weary gravitas of someone reluctantly forgiving an idiot, you took the strawberry one.
satoru let out a breath like he’d just disarmed a nuclear warhead. slowly—so slowly he looked like a sim glitching—he reached out and patted your head. the motion was awkward. stiff. his fingers hovered too long, then retracted like he’d touched a stove.
“you’re not mad?” he tried, voice hopeful. tentative.
“i still think you’re annoying,” you muttered, eyes pointedly focused on the mochi, not him. your face was slightly pink now. not that he was staring. (he was definitely staring.)
he grinned. a real, full grin. teeth and everything. his hand hovered at the back of his neck, scratching sheepishly.
his heart was doing cartwheels. backflips. olympic-level gymnastics. the kind of acrobatics that spelled disaster.
because here’s the thing: for someone who supposedly didn’t care, you always sat near him when the seat was free. you always looked down when you laughed too hard. your legs bounced when he was too close. your voice dipped when you were embarrassed, and you never interrupted him, even when he rambled. you blinked more when he complimented you, tugged at your sleeves when you felt too exposed.
and maybe you weren’t fooling anyone. maybe satoru saw through all of it. maybe he wasn’t just being delusional. maybe.
he watched you walk away again—slower this time, shoulders looser, fingers still curled tight around the mochi—and whispered to no one:
“i don’t like her. i just… find her interesting.”
(ten minutes later, he’s already googling "cute cafes with study-friendly outlets" and watching three different youtube videos on how to make the perfect iced matcha latte at home. like the absolute clown he was. complete with subtitles. and timestamps. and saved recipes.)
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goatgoesmbe · 4 months ago
Text
tw : reader implied to have social anxiety, stalking
A series : discord shenanigans (Next)
AO3
Word count: 1808
rated: T
TF141 x f!reader
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The welcome
This wasn't something you usually do, reaching out to strangers, seeking friends, socializing. It was only online, sure-- but you couldn't help the way your heart racing so hard you could feel it in your throat, your palms felt sweaty as you contemplated on clicking the link.
A discord server.
A public one at that.
Dedicated for people who took a liking on this FPS game you just got obsessed with. It was a pretty popular game, so you spent a lot of time looking for the one where it wouldn't be too crowded as to not overwhelm you. And surprisingly, you managed to find one.
It took you a few days to find it, scrolling at a few accounts that seemed to know each other very well. You tried to convince yourself that you weren't being creepy. After all, you followed one of them because you liked their posts which was mostly about games he recently played that you were also interested in, and also posts about a glimpse of his life. GazH8Heli.
You thought the guy was cool, definitely someone you wanted to get to know more.
But of course, you didn't have the courage to reach out.
Until.. today.
You saw his conversation in post replies about a gaming server which was opened for the public, even though the link wasn't shown in any post. Just told once in this particular reply.
Again, this wasn't something you usually do. You were content in being by your loneself with video games as your only companion.
But, this game you're recently obsessed with is a multiplayer game. And you were starting to get frustrated playing on random with strangers who couldn't cooperate.
Though, there is also a slight hope to find some kind of connection with someone. You were starting to get really lonely despite what you told yourself.
Just then you told yourself 'fuck it' and clicked on the link. Your heart racing so fast now that you felt nauseous-
"Welcomee..!!!" A message popped up on the screen, followed by the others who also welcomed you.
You fidgeted with the hem of your t-shirt as you watched the chat greeting you. It seemed like searching for a smaller server wasn't really a good idea. You should've expected this, for people to interact instead of ignoring a user who weren't their friends.
It seemed like there were four members who are active currently. CapBravo6 welcomed you first with a simple message, followed by the guy you followed-- greeting you in a more friendly manner by including heart emojis. The other one, Sexysoap69, spammed the chat with various silly gifs saying 'welcome' and you couldn't help but giggle. There was also a user who was seen as active but didn't appear in the chat, GhostSRK9.
They didn't show their faces on their icons (if Soap's mohawk didn't count), but from the vibes alone you could tell they were all guys who already know each other well.
You already feel like hiding at the thought of simply replying to their warm welcome, but you would overthink about it and feel even more horrible if you just ignored them. And so, you sent a message "Hello everyone, thank you for the welcome ^^"
You clicked sent before you could change your mind or overthink about how well the simple reply would be received. Fuck, you thought the emoji was nice, but now you read it again, it looked like you were trying too much-
Fortunately, the message was well received. too well..
Soap replied with a gif of a cartoon kissing the camera, while the others reacted to your reply with heart emojis.
And you realized that you've been smiling. God, you feel pathetic.
"How did you find this server?? 👀" Gaz asked. It was a simple question really, not a big deal. But you were starting to feel anxious again, like you were being interrogated for some kind of crime.
You couldn't think of anything better to say than the truth. "I actually found it in your social.. i hope it's okay, sorry"
And before you could overanalyze your own reply again, another message came. "Don't worry about it, I assume you're here because of the game then?" Gaz asked again, while you see Soap had been typing for a while now.. but hadn't sent anything more except for the previous gifs. You were thinking about being more considerate and letting Soap send his message first, but Kyle's message got your attention.
At his question, your fingers immediately danced on the keyboard. You proceeded to ramble about said game, your experience playing, how you've been up to date with every news about it, and a bit of bragging about your rank.
When you were done, you felt your heart sink when you saw that you practically just sent a whole essay. But before you could think anything bad about it- and yourself, the four reacted to it with various emojis. You found yourself smiling again.
"You gotta be lying about your rank.. no way" Gaz's message said.
"Yeah! Even Ghost's isn't that high" Soap added. You audibly giggle at this since you expected a longer message from how long he had been typing previously.
Despite being so very anxious earlier, you found yourself getting along with them just fine.
"I'm not lying, i just play a lot.." You contemplated on adding that it was because you have no life, but decided against it since you felt like it would be too self-deprecating for the first interaction.
"Prove them wrong, then" Price sent, the second message since the first one greeting you from when you just got in.
Despite your hands that were a bit shaky from both anxiety and excitement, you quickly opened the game and took a screenshot of your game profile before sending it to the server.
There were a lot of typing from their side before a message appeared.
"Just checked, it's real" Gaz sent before adding another one after. "Sent a friend request too ;)" You felt ashamed to blush at the emoji.
Soap sent another barrage of gifs. "Sent one too" He added after.
"Same here" Price chimed in.
Even Ghost finally appeared in the chat with a screenshot of him sending the request in the game.
You were definitely not used to this. Interacting with people so easily like you've known them for a while, and how well they received you, bombarding you with attention.
Once again, you felt pathetic for being giddy at something other people probably think as normal.
"Okay.. just accepted them all, thank you ^^" You sent it without second thought for some reason, which you immediately regret. What were you thanking them for? well.. for being really nice, but does it show how lonely you have been?
It didn't seem so from their replies which were still very positive.
And that's how you find yourself spending more time socializing online, compared to before where video games were your only friend.
Days passed, and eventually you started getting less nervous talking to them. You haven't got to the stage where you started a conversation first, but you were not as shy as before when replying now. You didn't consider yourself to be active in the server, but they made sure you were.
While you never send a message first, they always tag you in every conversation. Which made you feel like it would be rude to not respond.
The conversation started like how it was at first, talking about the game you've been obsessed with lately. But eventually it turned to something more personal.
You learned that they were in the military together, coworkers. Though the details seemed to be classified. They never talked about it, but from their conversation alone you assumed as much.
There were channels in the server dedicated to conversations unrelated to the game. Memes channel was mostly dominated by Soap where he sent everything he found funny there, while Gaz who actually sent something funny once in a while. There were creative space which also dominated by Soap, and you always replied to each of his drawings with compliments. How could you not when he tagged you every time he drew something. Not that you minded, he was a great artist.
The pictures channel was your favorite because you can see a glimpse of who they are. Price liked to send pictures of beautiful sceneries, Gaz sent photos he took that you would definitely add to your interest board, while Soap updated everyone randomly like a few times he posted pictures of him washing his hands in the sink with the following message "Just took a shit". You found yourself laughing at it every time despite the other's complaints.
Even Ghost was more active (as much as he was) in that channel. Sending pictures of the others sleeping (mostly Soap) without them knowing and photos of a military dog without any words said. Her name was Riley and you adored her.
And there was a vent channel, which was mostly Price scolding them for pulling pranks on him and the others. Soap would whine about injuries he got which made you really concerned, but based on the other's reactions, it seemed like a normal occurrence.
On some days, you were tempted to send something to that channel. To talk about stuff that's been bothering you. But you always found yourself deleting the long message you wrote.
Though, eventually enough, their friendliness made you want to share more about yourself.
"Just think the moon is pretty.. even though my phone can't really capture it, haha" You sent a picture of the night sky one day after multiple times fixing the message.
You still felt silly about sending said pictures, but you tried to convince yourself that the others were doing the same so it wasn't a big deal, shouldn't be a big deal.
"Not as bonnie as you ;)" You saw Soap replied immediately which distracted you from your thoughts.
You didn't see anyone else replying unlike usual, but they still left emojis on said pictures so you paid it no mind.
"You don't even know what i look like XD" You sent with a giggle.
There wasn't an immediate response from anyone which was a bit odd.. but you kept telling yourself to stop overthinking everything.
Unaware of the red light being on beside your front camera, meaning that it had been on for a while.
"The way you type is bonnie" Soap finally sent, but it was lacking gifs and emojis like he was quick to send it.
"Haha, what does that even mean.." You replied, oblivious as ever.
"Just.. how we think a pretty girl would talk like" Gaz chimed in as Soap was shown to be typing for a while now.
"Lol, okay then"
THIS got longer than it should be- so Im gonna put the rest in other chapters
Next
open taglist : @partiallysame, @niazrzl, @iiriam, @sweetlike-sugarplum, @mordacioust, @boogeysmoth, @little-mini-me-world, @sxnshinebxcky, @thethingfromtheblacklagoon, @lady-red-night-1234, @just-pure-trash
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mrsbarnesblog · 1 year ago
Text
˖˚⊹ i am not the only one who saw that, right?
➤ summary: your friends find out that you secretly dating their enemy, but their opinion might completely change when they see Rafe from another point of view
➤ w/c: 2.2k
➤ warnings: secret relationship, pogue!reader, attempted assault, mention of blood, soft and protective Rafe
➤ a/n: inbox is open for requests💘
masterlist
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“You cannot be dating Rafe fucking Cameron, Y/N!” John B exclaimed, burying his hands in his hair and walking all around the place. 
“No, seriously, this is not a good idea.” Sarah looked at you, giving out a nervous laugh. 
You were currently surrounded by your friends, who were all practically yelling at you after they accidentally saw a message from Rafe on your phone. You were one of the pogues; you never hanged out around the kooks, but somehow, when you were visiting Sarah a few months ago, you got into a random conversation with Rafe, and since that moment, the connection between you two has only gotten stronger. 
It was an instant click and as much as you both tried to deny the spark, it was there. As you started going out, secretly from everyone, of course, you decided to keep it private until the right time. 
“Alright, guys, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I knew that this would be your reaction. It just happened, okay?” You rubbed the bridge of your nose, already feeling a headache from the tense situation. All of your friends were standing on the opposite side of you and it felt like they were just attacking you. 
“What were you thinking? You know that he hates people like us, like you. We are pogues, Y/N. How the hell did that even happen?” Kiara was standing with her hands on her hips, as her piercing eyes were studying you. You felt awful looking at Pope, who was the one who always supported you, but he just shook his head and stepped away. 
“I don’t know. It just happened. We talked once when Sarah left, then I accidentally met him a few times in town, and then he texted me. He’s not bad when you know him closer.” You sighed. “Look, I know Rafe was a lot of trouble for us. He did bad things; I know that. But he’s not like that; he’s sweet and caring, and he has never shown any sign of being disrespectful towards me. I just can’t deny my feelings for him.”
“Honey, Rafe is not a good person. He doesn’t care about anything or anyone; he’s evil, selfish and manipulative.” Sarah stepped closer to you, touching your hand. “He’ll play with you, hurt your feelings and just throw you away.”
“And he probably just wants to get into your pants.” JJ grumbled, also taking a defensive position. 
“I haven't even slept with him yet, JJ!” You desperately snapped at him. It felt ridiculous, like all of them turned against you at the same time. Sure, Rafe wasn’t the sweetest person to them before, but they didn’t even give you a chance to say something in your defense. “And you’re wrong too, Sarah. All of Rafe’s actions were just to get people’s attention and appreciation. All it took for me to get on his soft side was to just listen to him and give him some affection. Other people didn’t care enough, including you and your father. He needs someone who he can trust and open up to because he’s hurt.” 
“No, Y/N. If you think that he loves you, then he just got into your head. My brother doesn’t love anyone. It will end badly; I just know that.” 
Tears gathered in your eyes, and a lump in your throat made it difficult to say anything back, so you just stupidly stayed there. You had no strength to fight with all five of them at the same time. You turned around, silently getting back in the car, even though your head was filled with doubt and dark thoughts because of their words. 
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For the next few days, it was tough for all of you. You and the rest of the group were still close, and even though they were completely against your relationship, you still met and hung out. The pit in your heart was still there, no matter how hard you tried to act nonchalant and not let their words get into your head. 
Rafe noticed the change in your behavior—that you were upset with something—but he didn’t put any pressure on you and allowed you to decide for yourself when you wanted to open up. 
Pogues decided to go to some party on the cut near the beach and as much as you tried to refuse, Sarah and Kiara managed to drag you there. You all rarely went to such places, preferring to hang out in your little circle, but apparently everyone wanted to clear their heads and saw it as the best opportunity. 
It was pretty fun with a bunch of people you did not know, some music, and drinks, and you mostly hung out with your friends. Though quickly it got overwhelming and made you want to go home or at least go outside of the house to get some fresh air. As you left your friends and wanted out from the backyard to a part of the beach, you didn’t notice the guy who had been eyeing you the whole evening. 
He came out of nowhere from your back, his arms wrapped around your waist, lifting you off the ground. You yelled at the sudden and unwanted touch, and your heart seemed to drop into your stomach when you realised that it wasn’t just a joke from JJ, who liked to scare you. You started wiggling in his hands to get free, but he was fighting you back, dragging you up when you fell to your knees on the ground. 
It was such a mess trying to scratch and punch him that you almost did not notice his hand coming into contact with your face several times. You screamed again, this time loud enough, until you saw JJ running towards you. The guy behind you pushed you away as soon as he saw someone, and you fell to the ground with a loud huff. 
“That fucking bastard!” JJ was right near you, helping you to get up as tears streamed down your face. He tried to comfort you, checking your body for any injuries, but you pushed his hands away, wrapping your own around yourself in a defensive way.
“Oh my god, Y/N!” You heard Kiara, along with your other friends, calling your name. “What the hell happened?”
“H-he attacked me.” You sniffed, trying to catch your breath and, with shaking hands, reaching to the pocket of your jeans shorts to get out your phone. All of them looked at each other, questioning your actions, until you pressed someone’s contact button and put the phone to your ear. “Can y-you pick me up, p-please?” You sniffed again, now trembling from the adrenaline. 
“Baby? Are you crying? Where are you?” You heard your boyfriend’s concerned voice through the phone, feeling how JJ tensed beside you. 
“I’m on the cut. Near the beach. There’s a party and... Please, Rafe.” 
“I’m coming, angel. Just wait for me, ‘kay?” You heard the sound of the car engine at the other end of the line. Rafe didn’t ask any more questions, and as soon as you mumbled quiet 'mhm’ he ended the call. 
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You all heard him before you saw him. The sound of the tires drifting through the sandy street was loud, drawing attention to the expensive car that was unusual to see at this part of the island. 
Rafe didn’t bother to properly park, turn off the engine or even close the door when he saw you sitting on some old chaise lounge, with his sister and Kie trying to talk to you and your other friends arguing nearby. 
The girls stepped away from you as soon as they saw Rafe running towards you with a furious expression on his face and ready to deal with anyone who made you cry. It looked like he didn’t even care about the pogues, with whom he always had to get into arguments; he was fully focused on your shivering form.
“Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?” He squatted down in front of you, and you started sobbing again. Your hands immediately found their place around his neck, and, before he could even properly look at your face, you pulled him closer to get some sense of comfort from his warmth and smell. Rafe hugged you back, soothingly rubbing your back. His eyes shot towards your friends, who were watching in awe at the interaction. “Which one of you did that?”
“It’s not us, you idiot. Some guy jumped her when she walked outside.” Sarah said, rolling her eyes at her brother. “JJ heard screaming, and when we walked outside, he ran away.” Rafe pulled away, finally taking in your appearance.
Your knees were covered in dried blood mixed with the sand. He gently took your hands to see the palms scratched from you trying to catch yourself before hitting the ground. Rafe’s eyes were burning with fury, showing his side that he rarely revealed in front of you. His hand reached to move your hair from your face, noticing a red, now already turning purplish, bruise covering the side of your cheek.
“Holy shit, sweetheart.” He softly brushed his fingertips along your cheek and you leaned into the touch, closing your eyes. Your bottom lip started quivering and you bit inside your cheek to calm yourself down. “Sh-h im here, okay? You’re safe. Did you see him? What did he look like? Just tell me and I’ll deal with it.” He almost begged, but you only shook your head. JJ suddenly stepped closer, slightly hesitating to actually normally communicate with his longtime enemy,  but he thought that it was the least that he could do for you.
As much as he hated The Kooks King, JJ knew that Rafe was the best option to find the guy who hurt you. 
“Tall, with dark and curly hair. Never seen him before, probably someone new on the island, but I’ll recognize him.” They looked at each other for a moment, and Rafe just simply nodded, turning his attention back to you. 
“I’ll find him, ‘kay? I promise I will.” He gently took both of your hands in his, bringing them to his lips to place a soft kiss on your knuckles. “We should go now. I need to take care of your knees and that bruise, baby. You don’t mind going to Tanneyhill, yeah?”
“Thank you, Rafe.” You whispered, slightly bending forward to ask for a kiss. Rafe smiled at you, his thumbs gently swiped the leftovers of the tears under your eyes, and then he kissed you on your forehead, nose, and gently pecked your lips. 
Your heart flattered at his soft touches and for a second, it felt like you two were in your own little bubble. Rafe's eyes shimmered slightly in the moonlight, and the way he looked at you, soft and caring, made you want to kiss him again and again. You suddenly snapped out of the trance, looking back at your friends, who all had different levels of shock and uncertainty written on their faces. 
“C’mon, pretty girl.” Rafe stood up, lifting you in bridal style without an effort, carefully not to hurt your bleeding knees. He almost walked away, but then sighed, turning back to look at his sister. “You coming home with us or somethin’?”
“Um, no, I’ll be with John B. It seems like I would be third wheeling with you anyway.” She shrugged, not being able to keep a smile when you two met with your eyes. 
Rafe then looked at JJ, thinking his words over. “I appreciate it, Maybank.” 
They exchanged a tight nod, both slightly shocked that for the first time ever, they communicated without biting each other's heads off. You leaned closer to Rafe, comfortably nestling in his protective hands, and looked at your friends, who were still too shocked to say anything. 
“I’ll see you guys later, okay? 
Everyone agreed, saying goodbye to you and asking you to text them when you get there safely. They saw how Rafe made sure to slowly put you into the passenger seat, then circled the car and drove away. An awkward silence fell around them, everyone at a loss for words. 
“Okay, so I am not the only one who saw that, right?” Pope spoke first, looking around the place as if he were trying to find something. “Rafe freaking Cameron just was acting cute and didn’t threaten to do something to us?” His own body physically shrugged at the word ‘cute’.
“I don’t know, dude. We all just probably drank something and it’s messing with our heads.” 
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fragranticareviewers · 10 days ago
Note
Hello to you, 
I am so sorry to bother you, but I am the Fragrantica user, Sopping Wet Hog. Well, I was until I was banned from the website today. I would include a screenshot of the message that appeared when I attempted to login which stated that I had been banned for "Spamming reviews with nonsense" but alas, I am too stupid and dumb to attach an image to this message. 
I came upon your Tumblr and was delighted to find that people had been sharing and enjoying one of my reviews which included a brief retelling of the time I was nearly married to the stone-hearted, crabapple-faced Grunip. I found this heartening, to say the least. I would like to thank you and your audience for taking the time to read, share, and appreciate my work. 
Additionally, I wondered if you or any members of your audience might be compelled to write the panjandrums at Fragrantica and petition for my release from the internet shackles in which they have me currently bound. I have already done so myself, but I thought maybe, with a little luck, they might take pity on my wretched corpse if a few people kindly requested that my account be reinstated. I know this is a whole lot to ask, but if anybody reading this sentence would like to send an email to the moderators at [email protected] and request the reinstatement of the Sopping Wet Hog account, I would be forever grateful. 
Additionally again, I would like to ask if you, or anybody, might have any suggestions where a poor pauper like myself might be able to share their honest, unbiased perfume reviews without fear of having their account deleted. Fragrantica clearly does not take kindly to those of my ilk. 
Thank you again so very much. I hope you never die. 
how dare they call your marriage with gurnip "nonsense". Fragrantica warriors grab your perfume
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fiercynn · 1 year ago
Text
on ao3's current fundraiser
apparently it’s time for ao3’s biannual donation drive, which means it’s time for me to remind you all, that regardless of how much you love ao3, you shouldn’t donate to them because they HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY AND NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH IT.
we’ve known for years that ao3 – or, more specifically, the organization for transformative works (@transformativeworks on tumblr), or otw, who runs ao3 and other fandom projects – has a lot of money in their “reserves” that they had no plans for. but in 2023, @manogirl and i did some research on this, and now, after looking at their more recent financial statements, i’ve determined that at the beginning of 2024, they had almost $2.8 MILLION US DOLLARS IN SURPLUS.
our full post last year goes over the principles of how we determined this, even though the numbers are for 2023, but the key points still stand (with the updated numbers):
when we say “surplus”, we are not including money that they estimate they need to spend in 2024 for their regular expenses. just the extra that they have no plan for
yes, nonprofits do need to keep some money in reserves for emergencies; typically, nonprofits registered in the u.s. tend to keep enough to cover between six months and two years of their regular operating expenses (meaning, the rough amount they need each month to keep their services going). $2.8 million USD is enough to keep otw running for almost FIVE YEARS WITHOUT NEW DONATIONS
they always overshoot their fundraisers: as i’m posting this, they’ve already raised $104,751.62 USD from their current donation drive, which is over double what they’ve asked for! on day two of the fundraiser!!
no, we are not trying to claim they are embezzling this money or that it is a scam. we believe they are just super incompetent with their money. case in point: that surplus that they have? only earned them $146 USD in interest in 2022, because only about $10,000 USD of their money invested in an interest-bearing account. that’s the interest they earn off of MILLIONS. at the very least they should be using this extra money to generate new revenue – which would also help with their long-term financial security – but they can’t even do that
no, they do not need this money to use if they are sued. you can read more about this in the full post, but essentially, they get most of their legal services donated, and they have not, themselves, said this money is for that purpose
i'm not going to go through my process for determining the updated 2024 numbers because i want to get this post out quickly, and otw actually had not updated the sources i needed to get these numbers until the last couple days (seriously, i've been checking), but you can easily recreate the process that @manogirl and i outlined last year with these documents:
otw’s 2022 audited financial statement, to determine how much money they had at the end of 2022
otw’s 2024 budget spreadsheet, to determine their net income in 2023 and how much they transferred to and from reserves at the beginning of 2024
otw’s 2022 form 990 (also available on propublica), which is a tax document, and shows how much interest they earned in 2022 (search “interest” and you’ll find it in several places)  
also, otw has not been accountable to answering questions about their surplus. typically, they hold a public meeting with their finance committee every year in september or october so people can ask questions directly to their treasurer and other committee members; as you can imagine, after doing this deep dive last summer, i was looking forward to getting some answers at that meeting!
but they cancelled that meeting in 2023, and instead asked people to write to the finance committee through their contact us form online. fun fact: i wrote a one-line message to the finance committee on may 11, 2023 through that form, when @manogirl and i were doing this research, asking them for clarification on how much they have in their reserves. i have still not received a response.
so yeah. please spend your money on people who actually need it, like on mutual aid requests! anyone who wants to share their mutual aid requests, please do so in the replies and i’ll share them out – i didn’t want to link directly to individual requests without permission in case this leads to anyone getting harassed, but i would love to share your requests. to start with, here's operation olive branch and their ongoing spreadsheet sharing palestinian folks who need money to escape genocide.
oh, and if you want to write to otw and tell them why you are not donating, i'm not sure it’ll get any results, but it can’t hurt lol. here's their contact us form – just don’t expect a response! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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cmdrfupa · 4 months ago
Text
Lifetime
post shibuya!nanami x caregiver!reader
A series dedicated to healing and letting yourself have a second chance in this lifetime.
Inspired by this song that brings me to tears every single time.
content warning: shibuya arc, mentions of death, mental health awareness, angst(eventual comfort), burn victim so expect some detailed imagery.
wc: 4.9k
an: thank you for reading. I love you lots.
I.
Time seemed to trickle as Nanami waited for his physical therapist to arrive.
First at home session since being discharged.
4 days a week, 30 minutes a day.
“Individualized exercise program including rigorous activities as you progress to help you regain your independence.. Sure.” Nanami read from the pamphlet out loud and sighed as he looked over the stack of literature he left the rehab facility with.
He was thankful that he was deemed fit enough to continue his healing at home after 11 weeks in the best facility Gojo could find. While it accommodated every possible concern one could have, he was certain he wouldn’t feel confident in being self sufficient until he was able to put all he had learned into practice at home.
So there he was, sifting through paperwork and sipping his coffee as he awaited his new physical therapist and as Ino finished cleaning his kitchen.
“I think thats it! Lunch is in the black container on the top shelf in the fridge and I’ve prepped dinner for when Gojo comes to cook. Anything else before I’m off?” Takuma grabbed his keys, the jangle bringing Kento out of his reading trance as he looked up.
“Yes, that should be fine. I appreciate you coming over every morning Takuma. But it’s not necessary.”
Takuma scoffed, almost offended at the idea. “Nonsense. Its just a little breakfast and lunch. Its on my way to the school anyway. Consider it a small help.”
He could protest but Takuma would simply find another way to make himself useful. Whether it be taking him to his appointments or coming to slather his injuries: he was going to find a way to be of help.
As he adjusted his cast as best he could, a text popped up from an unsaved number.
>Hello, Mr. Nanami! Currently heading to you. ETA is ten minutes.
Signed with your name, Nanami simply reads the text and reacted to the message with thumbs up.
“Thank you, Takuma. Truly. But I think thats everything. My physical therapist is on their way so I’ll just hang out til then.”
“Alrighty! I’ll be working mostly on campus so just shoot me a text if you need me. Take it easy, Nanami.” with that, Ino grabbed his jacket and proceeded out the front door.
Nanami exhaled and got up to sit at the window. The mid morning sun was gentle but insistent, that soft golden hue brightening everything it touched.
It wasn’t harsh, just warm enough to remind Nanami of the outside world, a quiet promise that time was still moving. The warmth on his right side almost felt foreign as the dust mites danced lazily in the light. He closed his eyes, taking in the fragile sense of something stirring inside of him­— reposeful comfort in the way the sun didn’t have a sudden, overwhelming wave of joy but a soft declaration that he was still here.
Nanami hadn’t had many moments to really think about just how life changing the incident had been. Half of his body littered in 3rd degree burns, a third of that, 4th degree. Loss of hair on one side, an eye patch over his eye and a lack of feeling down his left arm.
He’d looked at himself in the mirror exactly once since the incident and didn’t do it again until he acquired his face prosthetic recently.
It was bulky and itchy, but it alleviated the deformities and more importantly, kept him from being too hard on his own appearance.
The moment felt necessary. Reminding him that the sun remained a constant while other things changed.
“I’ll need to see if I can sit outdoors for a few minutes a day. Would be good for me.” he noted outwardly before a light tapping at the front door had him shuffling towards the foyer.
One moment, please.” he paused a few paces before he reached the door to look down, remembering his shirt had a hole near the hem of it. He didn’t have time to change but only hoped the therapist wouldn’t see him as some undetermined slob with no real concern on how he looked.
He took a deep breath and opened the door.
“Mr. Nanami?”
“That would be me.”
“Perfect! Hello! I was sent by the health and wellness agency as part of your transitioning to home health care. We have an appointment. May I come in?”
No scrubs, no accessories to signify you were a medical professional. Just a badge clip holding your ID with “HHA” boldly sitting under your name.
“Sure. Come on in.” He led you into the house, slowly walking into the living room and nodding towards the couch as you stood next to him.
You grin and sat on the far end of the couch, near the window, “Thank you.” you sat your tote littered in small pins on the coffee table and pulled out a somewhat thick file.
“Would you like anything to drink? Water, coffee?”
Shaking your head, you tapped the top of your bag. “No thank you. I have my tumbler. But I appreciate it!”
Nanami slightly bowed his head and sat in the solo chair next to the couch. “Alright so, how do we start this? I was told I’d see you four days a week with one more day possibly if I need to.”
You pursed your lips, looking down at your paperwork before looking back up to meet his neutral gaze.
“I believe that’s your physical therapist that you will be seeing four days out of the week.”
“Then pardon me for being so… impolite. But who are you exactly?”
The laugh that left your lips was a soft one but enough for Kento to lift his lips into a slight smile.
“I realize your discharge team didn’t give you names, faces, or titles. My apologies.”
“It happens.”
You continued. “I’m your Home Health Care Provider. While you were still in recovery, you met with your primary care provider and you spoke of your in home care, correct?”
Nanami nodded. “Yes.”
“Going over the team you’d have for your in housee rehabilitation, you were assigned a home health aide 5 days a week.”
His brow furrowed. “So you are that, I assume?”
“Yes. I will also be the one looking over the full team that provides you with your in-home care.”
“This feels very unnecessary.” The tone in his response was sharp. “I have people who come to help me with my daily needs. Having an entire team sounds like an exhausting back and forth to have coming to my house. A waste of resources.”
Your demeanor remained soft and understanding as you listened to his concerns. “Mr. Nanami. I understand that it sounds overwhelming. If I had to be in the predicament of needing a care team after an incident, I too would be a bit apprehensive.”
“But you aren’t. I am.”
The immediate smile that grew on your face wasn’t one that came from kindness. It was your defense, albeit an understandable one. “You are correct. I’m not. But I implore to at least hear me out on why its important to have us.”
A rush of emotions filled Kento’s chest. He wanted to pull his hair out from sheer frustration. But he remained calm.
His discomfort was obvious to you and you wanted to remedy the ache somehow.
“I want you to have an idea of what this could look like as you approach the first steps of gaining a sense of normalcy. Would you be willing to let me give you an example of what a week may look like for you? And if you don’t like it, we can adjust to a schedule that fits better for you.”
“Let’s hear it, then.”
“Splendid.” You reached into your file and pulled out a thoroughly detailed schedule and turned it for Nanami to look along with you.
“So, this schedule is based loosely on the day to day you had while in the rehab facility. No matter who, anything involving someone from your team wouldn’t be arriving until 10am. This is unless you decide to utilize me. Then I would be here at 7 every morning to aide you with your morning routine.”
“What if I don’t want extensive help?”
“I would respect the boundary.”
Nanami took a closer look at the schedule, seeing the words ‘kitchen prep healing exercise’ highlighted for every Tuesday and Thursday. “What does this entail? Kitchen prep healing.”
“Your passions shouldn’t suffer because of changes. So I created a regimen that would help us get in the kitchen and get busy while making sure we help maintain your range of motion and fine motor skills.”
Nanami looked up at you for a moment, trying to assess just how serious you were about changing what he was uncomfortable with.
“So if I only need you for meal prep and assisting with chores around my house.”
“Then I will only help you with meal prep and assisting with your chores around the house.”
He handed the schedule back to you. “And if it isn’t something that I’ve mentioned?”
Trying to test you. Cute. “If you mention to me that would like me to assist you in going to the grocery store, fixing your bed, helping you get ready for your appointments, then I will. Because my goal is having you confident in yourself and your abilities.”
That nagging feeling of what if filled his chest and mind. Nanami knows he can’t do it alone. But to be a burden is the last thing he wants to ever become.
“I don’t want to become too dependent on you and your teams’ services.” He sat up as best he could, stretching out his legs and wincing at the unexpected intensity of his blood flowing through his left leg.”
Not wanting to lose the momentum, you sat on the edge of the couch alert of and aware of the pain he showed. “Your independence will not falter. We are merely an extension. We are the claw arm that’s in your reach if the jar of pickles are too high up, if you will.”
Nanami tried to stop the half smile on his face but faltered. “I understand.”
“Do you have any questions for me?” You smiled politely.
“A few,” Nanami cleared his throat. “When it comes to changing my dressings..”
“I will be the only one who sees them completely outside of your primary physician.” You answered, as if you were waiting for that specific question.
“Second question: can you properly fold a fitted sheet?”
You laughed, nodding. “The trick is in how you hold the corners. Line up the creases and you’ll always have a perfect fold.”
Nanami nodded. “Interesting.” The intense blood flow in his legs ceased and his body noticeably relaxed. He sat forward. “Final question, if you were to start tomorrow, could we have your start time for 8am? I like having the first hour of the day to myself.”
“If you want me here at 8 am, I will be at the door by 7:55 to knock at 7:59.”
The moment of silence was filled with hope as you realized you got to him. You let him see genuine concern and thats all he wanted. But this was only the beginning. And you were willing to be his guide to a sense of independence all the way through.
___________________________________________
The silence of the early morning was heavier than usual— a quit hum of of the refrigerator reached his room as he slept with his bedroom door open now, a new practice he’s since learned is a response to his trauma.
He sat on the side of his bed, staring down at his slippers that warmly held his feet as the barely visible morning light filtered through the curtains, soft and unrelenting.
“I embrace healing.” He spoke out loud, his voice still low, sleep riddened, as he slowly rose from the bed and grabbed his cane.
“We aren’t going to be hard on ourselves because this is still new to you, Kento. Its okay to not know what to do.”
Mornings were more of a drag than he would like for them to be.
His body was more stiff. More rigid. He needed 30 minutes minimum to sit on the side of the bed and stretch just to muster up enough internal energy to get up and grab his cane.
He sounded off, flipping the bathroom light on and adjusting the sink to run warm water. “Today will be a great day.” He washed his hands, meticulously washing between his fingers and flicking the excess off his fingers before he dried them, reaching for a clean towel and letting it soak under the faucet.
“You will be more than okay.” this time, he spoke as if someone would overhear him talking to his self.
Nanami shook his head, lowly chuckling at what he found himself doing.
Yuji began to send him various videos that initiated ‘positive self talk’ and ‘daily affirmations for healing the body.’ Yuji hoped to try and help expedite a process that Megumi told him more than fives times, would take awhile.
Slowly pulled away the dressing on his cheek, Nanami watched small bits of dead tissue peel away from his healing skin. He threw it in the trash hamper, then pumped a small dot of antimicrobial soap on the wet towel he’d soaked and gently began to wash his face.
He looked closely, inspecting every patch he wiped over to take notice of any changes in how his skin looked. He tried very, very hard to not look into his own eyes.
Rinsing and patting to dry, he washed his hands again then reached for the jar of salve, precisely swiping a thin layer over his left cheek and forehead before he placed his transparent face mask on.
Finishing up his morning bathroom routine went without a rush. Going to throw on yet another loose fitting t-shirt and casual pants before sliding his slippers back on.
Slow and steady. Nice and easy.
“I am going to have a great day today.” the rubber end of his walker softly thudded against the wooden floors as he made his was down the hall. “It is a new day. New chances.”
He wasn’t going to confirm or deny if these affirming exercises were doing anything. But he’d admit that saying them aloud was probably the silliest he’d felt ever doing anything.
The living room held a welcoming warmth as he drew the blinds open that faced the street.
The third floor apartment view was always the one thing that made the asking price of his condo worth it to him.
The patchwork of traditional rooftops and modern buildings met the edge of the cities outskirts. Bare branches stood against the pale early morning winter sky, hints of early plum blossoms added a hint of a spring that would soon come and wipe away the muted landscape.
Kento sat on the window seal, taking in the low mountains in the distance. That thin veil of mist hiding the peaks that were still dusted in snow. With a deep inhale, he looked down at the street to see a bundled up pedestrian loading his car with boxes as another, that looked only slightly familiar, was exiting their car in a slow jog to the front steps of his building.
He glanced over at the clock on the wall.
7:55 am.
“Timely.”
slowly, he went to open the rest of the blinds around the living room, a slow tango that made him a feel like he still had just enough control, timing the last curtain opening perfectly as your soft knock filled the foyer yet again.
He stood there for a moment, his hand resting on the frame, before opening the door and stepping aside in a half step to let you in. His expression was neutral — not unkind, but carefully composed, as if he were still deciding how much space to give you in his life.
“Good morning,” you spoke softly, offering a polite smile.
“Morning,” Nanami replied, his voice low and steady. “I was about to make myself a simple breakfast. Coffee too.”
It wasn’t quite an invitation, but it wasn’t a dismissal either. It was just a statement — a line drawn firmly down the middle.
You nodded. “That sounds good.”
You sat your bag down on the ottoman against the wall and followed his lead. The condo was quiet — too quiet, the kind that felt deliberate. Like he'd stripped the space of anything deemed unnecessary. A few trinkets here and there, clean lines, muted colors.. But the kitchen felt like the homeliest part of the space.
Black stainless steel appliances, cold press juicer and blender sitting on the counter. A top of the line built-in double electric convection wall oven, a display of every herb and spice on a dark mahogany shelf sitting high on the wall.
“You have a very beautiful kitchen.” Your eyes grazed over the quartz cabinets, taking in the light blue finishes until you landed on what you knew to be as the best stand mixer that only experts chefs and bakers would have.
“You have a Bosch… Its even more beautiful in person.” You inspected it as if it were a lost artifact seeing the light for the first time in 500 years.
Nanami cocked his head for a moment. “Are you that taken by a stand mixer?”
“Mr. Nanami, I’d have to work 3 weeks nonstop to not only get the mixer but to financially recover from it.”
Your half suppressed laugh had Kento smiling. “Understandable. It is a big purchase. I use to bake fresh bread for my weekly use.”
“You’ll have to give me a demonstration one day! Would love to see the Bosch in action.”
Nanami raised his brows. “You think I can get back to that one day?”
The small flick of something resembling hope flecked in the richest parts of his brown eyes.
“We can get you back to that. I’m sure of it.”
He nodded, a silent acceptance of an unspoken challenge. He opened the refrigerator, bearing his weight on the cane as he used his dominant hand to grab the butter, holding it out.
“Do you mind taking things as I pass them to you?”
You reached out, taking the butter and placing it on the counter. “Don’t mind at all.”
A pack of bacon, a jar of jam and an orange followed after and you awaited his next instruction.
“I’m going need your help with peeling orange. I believe I can manage the rest.”
With quiet acknowledgment, you grabbed the orange and began to peel as he placed 2 pieces of bacon in the skillet.
It took less than 10 minutes and Nanami moved to the dining table, a slice of toast placed next to his bacon on a plate and setting out a small dish of fruit with the addition of an apple now. You brought out 2 mugs of coffee, placing his in front of him and sitting across from him with yours.
A butter knife rested awkwardly beside the jar of jam he chose. It was clear he had intended to do more, but something had stopped him.
You didn’t move or say anything, you sipped your coffee and watched as he reached for the jar. His right hand gripped the jar while his left hovered over the lid. His fingers trembled — just slightly — but enough that the lid refused to budge.
You didn’t move at first. You’d quickly learned that Nanami wasn’t the type to appreciate overstepping, even if it came from a place of concern. So you waited, giving him the space to either push through the task or acknowledge the struggle.
After a long moment, his jaw tightened. The jar didn’t budge.
You opened your mouth — not to offer help, but simply to ask if he wanted you to hold the base of the jar steady when his voice cut through the silence.
“Can you…” He paused, the word tasting foreign on his tongue. “Can you open this for me?”
It wasn’t a whisper, nor was it loud. Just a calm, measured request, but you could hear the effort behind it — the weight of a man who wasn’t used to asking for assistance.
You stood and went to his side of the table and gently placed your hand on the lid. “Turn when you’re ready.”
His hand dropped away, switching his left hand out for the right gripping the glass part and his left fingers curling into a loose fist at his side. The lid gave way with a soft pop, and you set it down in front of him without a word.
He didn’t thank you, but there was a small nod — barely noticeable, but it was there.
“Would you like me to slice the apple for you?” you asked, careful not to overstep.
Nanami shook his head. “No. I can manage.”
You sat back down, sipping your coffee as he asked you more questions about your fascination with his Bosch.
_______________________________________
The morning moved quickly. Breakfast cleanup was a breeze as Nanami continued his light reading and non rigorous solo exercises.
During breakfast, you’d been given what you called the key to the cupboard by Nanami. He uttered, with few words, that he didn’t want to prevent you from doing your job. While he limited what that might be, he was quick to say how appreciative he’d be if his bed could be made up, his laundry started and lunch done. He’d have a friend come by to do the rest.
You happily complied and began working on laundry the moment he sat down post breakfast. And by noon, his physical therapist had arrived to continue his exercise routine and mobility work.
Despite the pain he would occasionally feel from the intense stretches he felt near his ankles, this was Nanami’s favorite part of his rehabilitation. Feeling the tightness dissipate as he stretched his neck and chest together. He closed his eyes, allowing the PT to guide his body on top of the exercise ball.
“Now a slow exhale as you reach your arms over your head. Nice and easy.”
The short man moved the ball under Nanami and he grunted.
“Sorry Mr. Nanami, too much?”
Nanami wheezed a chuckle out, “Not enough. Can we do this one more often?”
The therapist exhaled and smiled. “We can. Your body is reacting as it needs to and it seems to be the best exercise to get a reaction out of you. Does it feel like your body is loosening up?”
He nodded, slowly sitting up with assistance. “Definitely. My skin feels less taut at my hips and chest when I open up my arms like that. It feels.. good.”
“That’s what I like to hear. We’re going to finish off with some hands exercises then your aide will be tagged back in to finish the day off with you.”
His session proceeded and came to an end before he knew it. He walked with a bit more confidence as he escorted his therapist to the door and went to find you in the kitchen finishing lunch.
Nanami watched you sliced the cucumber. He nodded at the precision of the knife movements, impressed with how perfect each little sliced green disc was as you added it to the salad bowl. He waited to speak once you sat the knife down.
“You have some really great knife skills.”
You looked up and smiled, wiping your hand on the dish towel nearby. “4 years of cooking for a group of broke college students as a college student. 2 of those years were spent dating a sous chef who taught me some of what I know.”
“I’m sure this sous chef would be happy to know you use these techniques so well.”
“We could only hope,” Expertly, you avoided giving that a full response that would push the topic of your ex. “Where did you learn to cook, Mr. Nanami? I’m sure you are amazing with a Bosch in your kitchen.”
Nanami walked behind you, reaching for two bowls out of the cabinets and placed them next to you. “My grandfather wanted me to be self sufficient once I moved out on my own.” He slowly opened the silverware drawer, pulling out a pair of forks and knives. “And cooking in itself is its own therapy for me.”
You finished placing the grilled chicken in the salad bowl and handed over the tongs to Nanami. “How does cooking make you feel?”
He looked down at the tongs, his heart fluttering with an anxiety he couldn’t place. His eyes found you. “Do you think I can?”
“I’m right here,” you slid one of the eating bowls directly next to him and smiled. “What does cooking do for you?”
Nanami put his eyes back onto the salad and took a deep breath. He grabbed the tongs, gripping them, feeling the cold stainless steel rest in the part of his palm that still had feeling. “Cooking requires me to pay attention. Smell, sounds, how my food is looking.”
He widened the tongs, lowering them into the salad and tossing it lightly, as if he’d harm the lettuce if he placed any pressure.
“What do you usually cook with?” You noticed his hesitance in squeezing the tong tips together, his grip faltering as he exhaled from frustration. “I’m going to hover my hand below yours. Claw extension. Only if you need it.”
Nanami closed his eyes, slowly breathing out as he tried to not lose his momentum. “Garlic. Fresh minced garlic.” He tried again, slowly working his hands closed until he had salad gripped between the flat tips. He carefully moved it over to the dish, hand shaking but making it with no spillage. “I prefer to mince it and store it in water. Taste great every time.”
You smiled as he looked at you for a hint of validation and gave a nod of acknowledgment.
He moved the tongs back to the serving bowl with a glimmer of determination in the way he rolled his shoulders back. He grabbed more and placed it into the bowl, releasing a with a bit of force before sitting the tongs down. “I think I want a bit more tomato.”
Fork in hand, trying to pin down a slice of tomato so he could cut it. His right hand hovered awkwardly, meant to steady the cutting board, but his left — the one gripping the fork — trembled just enough to betray him.
The fork slipped.
The tomato skidded to the side, smearing juice across the surface. His jaw tightened, but he said nothing.
You didn’t speak either. You knew better than to rush in with help he hadn’t asked for yet.
He reset the slice, pressing the fork down again. His grip was too tight — his knuckles pale from the strain — but the tremor in his fingers wouldn’t let up. The fork scraped against the board, missing the tomato entirely this time.
A sharp pain ran through his forefinger and he dropped the fork, cursing under his breath as he massaged his purlicue.
His gaze stayed locked on the tomato, his shoulders tense.
“You did good. You and the tongs are quite the dynamic duo.”
Nanami felt a heated tear well in his eye before he sucked it back in. “This. Its all so hard sometimes. A fork? I can’t hold a damn fork and its been months.”
He needed to let the frustrations out. It was going to be the only way he could get over those hurdles to feeling whole again.
You stood in silence for a moment, giving him space to process and feel. “Don’t give yourself a timeline but do give yourself grace.”
“Is this all worth it?” You weren’t sure if he was talking to you or himself until he took a few steps back and leaned against the counter looking at you. “Will I be the same person I was before all this? Because I feel like even when I’m giving 200%, I’m failing with no progress.”
“This feels like it’s never going to get better,” Nanami said, his voice low — almost too calm, but there was an edge to it. A rare crack in the carefully composed man standing next to you.
The words hung between you both, heavier than the silence.
You gave him a moment before you spoke. “It’s frustrating,” you said softly. “I know.”
Nanami’s jaw shifted, his lips pressing into a firm line. He didn’t respond right away, as if letting the admission sit out in the open was already more than he was prepared for.
His hand flexed at his side — open, then closed — before, at last, he exhaled through his nose. “Can you help me?”
The question was quiet, but it felt like a victory in its own right.
You nodded, letting him take a few steps forward before stepping in slowly so he had the chance to pull back if he wanted. When he didn’t, you picked up the fork, steadying the tomato with your other hand. The prongs sank into the skin with a soft pop — a simple act, but weighted with everything unspoken.
Nanami’s hand hovered near yours for a moment, then dropped back to his side.
He didn’t thank you, but the small, almost imperceptible nod he gave was enough.
You didn’t push for more words. Instead, you handed him the knife, stepping back just far enough to let him reclaim some of the space —he had let you stand just a little closer, and it was a sign that he was willing to let you in to help.
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aamircoeur · 1 year ago
Text
just distressed (not a damsel) - ultraman, ken sato.
Tumblr media
getting familiar with your robot-like saviour after his nth time of saving your life.
PART 2.
cw: brief mention of bl00d. sfw, female reader. UNEDITED
"hello again, little ma'am." the huge character looked down on you, his glowing eyes acting as a spotlight as he held you on his palms. a purple-colored, lizard-like kaiju had destroyed the top of the apartment building that you were staying at, and luckily, ultraman was there to save you.
only for, like, the sixth time this month.
"not causing trouble again, are you?" ultraman teased, and you just rolled your eyes, making the being laugh.
the first time was when you were on your first (and after that incident, also the last) date with a guy you met at a bar. he took you to sumida river for some sight-seeing, and a kaiju appeared from underneath the waters, targeting those who were at the bridge. out of fright, the people screamed and scattered like ants, including your date who left you to flee for his own safety.
upset, you took a moment to process the happenings around you while you stared at the back of the guy as he ran. without noticing, the kaiju creeped from behind you in an attempt to catch you off-guard and eat you for its lunch (you assumed). fortunately, ultraman was there in the nick of time, blasting the kaiju with his powers that came from the moon or something, you thought. you really didn't understand how he or his powers worked, and you really couldn't bother learning either.
being the only person to stay on the bridge, ultraman approached you after sending the kaiju back to where it emerged from. "uhm, hi," he said, looking down on you as he was wiping debris off of his shoulder. "you okay?" he tilted his head.
"yes, i am. thank you!" you shouted at him, hands cupped to both sides of your cheeks.
he nodded. "okay, get home safe, little ma'am." he said before walking away. you looked at him as he made his way through the water. you thought about the weird nickname and shrugged, thinking that everyone must be little to him when he's that big.
upon arriving home at your apartment, you saw a series of messages of apologies and excuses from the guy you went on a date with. you scoffed and blocked him without responding.
the second time that you were saved by ultraman was when you unfortunately got in the crossfire between him and a kaiju that looked like a dinosaur. you were underneath a separated car door after trying to run to safety, your left leg and forehead dripping with blood, and you were too light-headed from the blood loss to help yourself out of your current position.
after the shaking of the ground has stopped, assuming that the battle has ended, you opened your eyes only to reveal that everything was blurry. an elderly woman was crouched in front of you, slightly tapping your face before wiping the blood off of your forehead. "oh, you poor thing," she said. a tear made its way across your cheek, finally feeling the pain after the numbness had faded away. "you'll be okay," the woman said before standing up and walking into the middle of the street, and it was the last thing you saw before passing out.
the elderly woman had called for ultraman, waving her arms out as high as she could. seeing her from a few streets over, ultraman rushed to her, careful with his steps to avoid stepping on a car. "hello! is something the matter?" ultraman greeted.
"here, here!" the woman called and led her to where you were. shocked, ultraman knelt down and lifted the car door, placing it down on the sidewalk before scooping you up into his palms. "poor girl has been bleeding since i saw her." she added, her hands cupped together, worriedness heard in her voice. "if you rush, we might save her!" she exclaimed.
ultraman nodded and stood up on his feet, slowly moving covering you with his other hand. "thank you, madame. please, go home to where you'll be safe." he said before flying off.
hearing a constant beep woke you up from the hospital bed that you stayed in. you squinted your eyes as you adjusted to the light on the ceiling, you then saw your right leg with a cast. groaning, you took a deep breath before looking around more. there was a desk beside you with a folded piece of paper.
you reached for it and unfolded it, and there was a note in blue ink that said, "the bills have been covered. please, get well soon."
the third time of being saved by ultraman was when a kaiju attack has been reported near you once again and ultraman took you to safety via his palm because you couldn't walk properly with your cast.
by the fourth time, you simply greeted the character with a simple hello despite having yet another kaiju attack near you. ultraman greeted you back, laughing after realizing that he was getting used to seeing you when there's a kaiju attack and saying, "hello, little ma'am."
for the fifth time, you were in a restaurant for dinner that had unfortunately caught on fire because of a flame-spitting kaiju. although you had the opportunity to leave early the moment smoke was seen to guarantee your safety, you helped every person you could to leave the restaurant instead before helping the staff control the growing fire.
the fire department in the city was handling the fire in a hospital which led to their lateness in handling the one in the restaurant you were staying at. fortunately, the five million meters tall (your exaggeration) superhero was there, helping the humans put out the fire and successfully doing so.
as the staff were being interviewed by news reporters, you went on your way to a different restaurant instead to continue your dinner. a few streets down from where the restaurant was, you walked downtown to where the road was quiet and empty, and you just casually bumped into ultraman.
by casually, you meant that he almost stepped on you after not looking before taking a sharp turn. "woah there!" the huge being exclaimed, his robotic voice echoing throughout the evening. you had your hands in the pockets of your jacket as you looked up at him.
"wait, i know you." he said before going down on his knees and lowering his body to take a better look at you. "little ma'am!" he exclaimed, his bright eyes widening.
you squinted your eyes at the brightness and smiled sheepishly. "hey, ultraman."
ultraman sat up and held out his palm for you, which you accepted. you stepped on his finger before making your way towards his palm, and he then lifted you up before holding you in front of him as he looked at you.
"what brings you here?" you asked, crossing your legs on his palm, making yourself comfortable.
he let out a small chuckle at how used you were to stay on his palms. "uh, fire, in the uptown," he explained. your eyes widened as your eyebrows lifted. "woah, were you there?" he asked, worried.
you nodded. "yeah, i was supposed to have dinner but then the ceiling started burning. i tried to help some elderly people to head outside." you explained.
ultraman smiled down at you, happiness obvious in his robotic facial expression. "you've helped greatly." he said.
you laughed and swatted your hands in front of him. "nah, the cook and waitresses helped control the fire before you got there." you said.
"no way," ultraman shook his head. "don't undermine what you've done, because you've done great. i never would've dumped the bucket of water if i had known that there were people inside, and it would have been hard for me to help them out with my big size." he said. "really, thank you for the help."
you just smiled at him and scoffed playfully. "just another day for a super human," you joked.
you and him shared a laugh and continued your talk. "so, what're you gonna do now?" he asked you, now leaning on the office building behind him as he got more comfortable throughout the conversation.
"ah, i wanted to continue my dinner, but there's this big bug that just wouldn't stop pestering me," you joked, referring to him which made him drop his jaw playfully as if he was offended.
the two of you laughed. "what about you?" you asked.
ultraman tilted his head to the side and rested it on his shoulder. "oh, man, i am beat. i might nap for weeks after tonight, so i'm leaving the city-saving to the new superhero called "little lady". ever heard of her?" ultraman said.
"nah, never. she sounds cool though, probably pretty with big muscles, i assume?" you rode along with his joke, making him laugh.
"oh, yeah, definitely. really pretty thing," he said casually.
your laughter halted upon hearing what he said, making your cheeks and ears flush at the compliment. when he finally realized the words that came out of his mouth, ultraman fixed his posture and stuttered an excuse. you laughed and patted his palm. "don't worry, hypnotizing people to make 'em think i'm good-looking is part of my one hundred and three superpowers."
ultraman let out a hearty laugh at this, making your stomach warm by hearing it. "yeah? better get started to knowing each one."
you smiled at him and took a deep breath. your conversation had finally stopped, the two of you thinking about your own things. after a few more small talk, ultraman had decided to call it a night to let his body rest after the fight with the kaiju. you agreed and he let you down from his palm before standing up to his height that surpassed the building's.
"also, if you want dinner, tonkatsu tonki is the place to go." he said before waving off and flying off.
and the sixth time was now. "hey." you greeted, a tired expression visible on your face.
"always in the centre of the tornado, huh, little ma'am?" he said as he had you in his palms once more, walking you towards the evacuation center.
"lucky me," you sarcastically said.
"lucky you, my personal damsel in distress." he echoed you jokingly.
you rolled your eyes.
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