#this isnt even discourse lol

[mbat]

i yet again do NOT understand why people think that what happened to steven in future came out of nowhere. the main show beats it into the ground how fucked up all this stuff has him! just cause he ends the main show in a good place doesnt mean that everything was solved! he solved the gem stuff but not himself, that was the whole point!

like. those people show that they didnt even pay attention to the show AND they dont understand trauma. like. shut the fuck up !!!!

[scoutsystem]

You could say "being delusional is bad, actually" and probably receive a death threat anon on this website

[verflares]

nothing more frustrating than playing New Video Game and/or digesting new media in general and you're like "mmmm this is kinda bad/boring. honestly." so out of curiosity you look up to see if anybody else feels this way but you are instead greeted with if you think anything about this is bad or boring you need to be put in front of a firing squad

[otterpuppss]

to save you a Google:

medical eye exam is preformed by an Ophthalmologist who exams and tests for neurological and physical maladies (medical dx)

eye exam (just for glasses or contacts) is preformed by an optician (not a dr) and is usually it's own separate insurance.

[radinclus-not-radqueer]

PLEASE give the gosip on safetypinz i hate their guts

I won't give out any personal details (like accounts or anything) but here are some of what I've seen (although I've never spoken to them, I used to be in servers with them):

They're really fucking weird and gross. Like, constantly posting unsanitary shit untagged. I think they have paraphilias related to that stuff which is the excuse I've seen them use?? But yeah they'd post really gross shit untagged and unprompted, which made a lot of people uncomfortable

I'm not going to immediately jump to "they're a faker!!", but they claim to have self-diagnosed ASPD despite having stated that they fit basically none of the symptoms (I remember them saying something like "I'm an asshole because of my ASPD", so I think that's why they say they have it? because they think all pwASPD are assholes??). I know a couple people who have ASPD and safetypinz shows none of the symptoms they experience, even things as basic as feeling no empathy and having little to no emotion (from what safetypinz has said, they don't fit either of those basic criteria). I won't say they're faking, but... There's definitely something not right going on here (even if it's just as basic as them not understanding what the actual criteria for the disorder is)

They're pro-transnazi, and claim that because they have Jewish ancestry they have the authority on this (even though they're aren't a practicing Jew and don't know anything about the culture nor do they know any other Jewish people and that even a lot of the radqueer community disagrees with transnazis)

Not to mention the constant posting of cutesy emojis with captions like "mother-daughter consang <3333" - not only supporting incest, but also supporting child grooming too. Wow!

And also them claiming that torture and abuse... isn't traumatizing. Which they base off of pseudomemories/exomemories - which were only brought up to say "well actually I went through this and it wasn't traumatizing, so actually if someone says they aren't traumatized then you're a horrible person for disagreeing and wanting them to recover!", outright supporting people being denied help because they "aren't actually traumatized" or because they're in denial about their trauma

They're super pro-c, pro-incest, pro-"race/age/neurotype transitioning", and shit like that. The "kandiqueer" in the tags wasn't lying - they're absolutely awful. They're besties with someone who's "dating" a dog, although idk if safetypinz themselves is a pro-c zoo (considering they have "zeta", a well know pro-c zoo term, in their username... I wouldn't be surprised)

They're one of those "cripplepunk is for physically abled people too" people as well - so even more ableist. I'm pretty sure they even harassed and attacked someone because that person said cripplepunk was only for physically disabled people

There's definitely more that I either haven't seen, was done before I became radqueer, or was done after I left. If anyone has anything they'd like to add, feel free to share!

[good-beans]

I am not immune to cheesy anime one liners and stunning gender ambiguous swordsmen.....

[sandinmybed]

I get that people are upset but "recast will byers! from now on I'm drawing him like THIS instead!" and he looks exactly the same but with a smaller nose? that's not helpful and tbh it's just antisemitic. did we not agree like less than a year ago that removing actor's ethnic features in fanart is racist? at best this is performative and at worst it is racism

[synthetic-sonata]

love when im in my bi-daily social media scrolling sometimes when im on tumblr i type t in my searchbar and go back to tumblr on accident . like ok we're back here again i guess

[htkpop]

.

[sillynessmogai]

harnessqueer

for when you’re like an anxious dog wearing a hi-vis “ don’t pet “ harness. you’re nervous and maybe awkward and don’t want people asking about your discourse stances. you may or may not even have these stances, you just hate being asked.

harnessqueer has no specific stances attached to it. anyone can be harnessqueer no matter what, but keep in mind that the coiner is anti-radqueer. you can combine harnessqueer with other queer stances if harnessqueer describes you, but so does another stance. an example being eepyharness or eepyharnessqueer — being both eepyqueer and harnessqueer.

potential emoji combos would be 🦺🐶 or 🦺🌈 ( if the second isnt taken yet LOL )

no ID, help appreciated

taglist (ask to be added or removed): @fangpunk @somniabyte @khaenriahplurals @radiomogai @blankqueer @brrobin @bunnypm

[mythalism]

there is a bit of a discourse on twitter about whether Mythal was a slave owner. What is your take on this? I’ve seen arguments that her vallaslin was a mark of honour and she “protected her people”. But also if that was the case, why would Solas remove his marks and propose to do the same to Lavellan?

I wonder if that’s another evidence of her character being sanitised in DAV compared to lore, revealed in DAI

it has genuinely never occurred to me that mythal would not be a slave owner. we know the evanuris practiced slavery. we know the only one who did not was fen'harel, as a result there is no fen'harel vallaslin. there is however a mythal vallaslin both presently and anciently, worn by felassan, abelas, and all of the temple sentinels at the least, and by solas himself once if you assume that is the meaning of cole's comment about him burning her off his face, which i do make that assumption. solas says mythal "was the best" of the evanuris, but that is an extremely low bar. we also now know that she was a driving force behind the war with the titans and their tranquilization and the destruction of the dwarven empire, and she admits to using solas as a weapon of war. i am not sure why any of these things would lead anyone to believe that she is morally above enslaving people. we have literally met the people she enslaved. whether or not they were "devoted" or "willing" (ew) is irrelevant in the context of her power as an evanuris.

i think perhaps dragon age was gearing up pre-veilguard to explore the vallaslin much more in depth however it ended up erasing it completely so we will never know. its possible that vallaslin had multiple meanings, and did not always denote enslavement but could denote enslavement depending on the circumstances. my own understanding pre-vg was that the vallaslin probably interacted with other factors, such as class/wealth, power, and personal favoritism, to varying degrees of personal and political agency so that not every person with mythal's vallaslin would have the same exact experience. solas's experience clearly was unique and we see that in the way that their relationship is presented in his murals, and how they continue to have a relationship even after he has removed his own (assuming thats the timeline and not that they just completely retconned him having vallaslin in the first place lol). but just because solas sees mythal in a forgiving light (sometimes, he goes back and forth, which does make sense considering his complex feelings about her) does not mean mythal was, objectively, that way. its pretty heavily implied that he had major rose colored glasses on for her, and its likely he only saw a certain side of her. we can probably assume that elgar'nan saw a very different one. we have a lot of different perceptions of her from different sources, and different literal fragments of her personality. we also know she changed quite drastically overtime and was corrupted from benevolence into retribution. it is difficult to say with certainty what she was like because the game does not tell us.

however enslavement is enslavement and i think we should be frank about it even if veilguard isnt interested in touching on it. "but she was a good slave-owner!" is a dangerous sentiment reflective of real life, anti-abolition arguments during the american civil war that revisionist racists and white supremacists still use today and i think people should take great care not to espouse the same, even in the context of a fantasy world.

[sexydreamgirl]

how do i get over the only thing that’s stopping me from living in the end… the fear that makes me feel like im not doing it properly, and so on i keep reading and reading and reading stuff so i understand… until i get burnt out and dont want to fulfill myself anymore lol. it isnt so much as to say that i find fulfilling myself hard (i think im doing it right? whenever i do it it just feels like i dont even need to daydream about having whatever it is that i want anymore) but there’s always a background of fear that im not doing anything right thus won’t be able to change self

With these pivotal concepts in mind, I want to expand on some inferences that tie with the application. Generally speaking, manifestation discourse often connotes a trajectory of wanting > doing > getting. The concept of doing then branches into methods and disciplines: scripting, gratitude, keeping your thoughts in check, acting as if, all in the pretense of occupying a state. These are outer means we are ascribing to a change in state, but outer means do not produce an inner change, not a long term one at least. You may feel good in the moment when you repeat your affirmations and create a Pinterest board full of visual concepts, but you will not stay in a state if you believe doing something in the “outer world” will be what keeps you in one. So how can we make a state our home? By acknowledging self as the one and only cause and abandoning man made ideas we do not need to abide by. When it comes to application, what you want to do out of love overrides what you think you have to do out of fear.  We seek an arrangement of guidelines that validate our efforts so we feel accomplished for doing what we “have” to do. The compulsion to create and follow rules derives from a fear of failure. We believe that if we follow rigid and explicit guidelines, then that must mean we did “it” correctly. There is no doing wrong when what matters is doing what you want. Although yes, there is a way to approach this, there are a multitude of variations of what you’re “supposed” to do: induce the SATS, fall asleep in the wish fulfilled, conceive the perfect scenes to loop and affirmations to repeat in vain, following time crunches, etc. The fear that your life won’t change if you don’t follow a set of rules is a fear that you made yourself. It holds no value. If you don’t want to live bearing those pressures, you do not have to. Bondage is optional. Fear is a choice. Struggling is voluntary. Don’t create obstacles that don’t exist to begin with. Stop imposing conditions that you have to indulge in or else you’ll be trapped in your state and you’ll never possess your desires.  You’re punishing and stressing yourself out when you do this. If you try to force your way into a state by following rules you don't want to follow, soon enough, you will grow tired and lose interest. There’s no doing correctly when the point is about doing what you love. Do you want to do it? Then do it. Would you feel better if you didn’t? Then don’t. You do not need to follow rules. - Dream of Love

[sha-brytols]

omg hi sorry but it's soooo nice to see a da blog that actually engages w aveline's character beyond ermmmmmm fantasy cop!!!! thank u so much your takes are great and i'm rly enjoying the rest of ur blog as well!! have a nice day

it's just purely perfomative in the most obnoxiously obtuse way imaginable. like if people really gave a damn about the cop thing theyd talk about it with other characters. like cassandra or cullen or leliana or even the fucking iron bull. it doesnt actually matter that shes the fantasy law enforcement it just makes for a funny joke and easy excuse for not actually bothering with her as a character. i can say fenris is a bootlicker for defending the templars and even going out of his way to sabotage hawke's plans to undermine them and that'd be just as lazy and shallow an analysis as the common discourse surrounding aveline. not only that but be honest none of you (you in a general sense) actually genuinely literally equate the guardsmen to the irl police force LOL be so serious if you did youd be just as vocal and passionate about their role in this narrative as you are about the templars.

it also goes into a more general annoyance i have with this fandom where people will obviously hate a da2 character. will whine and bitch constantly about their flaws and how they dont like them or how they're so problematic and terrible. and then the more they talk about them the more its become increasingly clear that despite this for some insane reason theyve only played the friend route. as if the rivalry routes arent almost entirely an exercise in exploring their toxic behavior and the consequences thereof. as if this isnt The route to get a better insight on their character if you think their behavior is bad. ooughhh i hate aveline she's too rigid and strict she's a class traitor and theres never any point where you can get mad at her for this :( except for you know the entirety of the rivalry dynamic. where the major conflict between her and hawke is how hawke constantly undermines her authority because it comes from an insecure and self-loathing need to maintain control over her surroundings so she never has to experience another ostagar again. people do this with characters like anders and merrill too like theyll complain constantly about how theyre too focused on their goals and they dont listen to anybody else and thatll make them do crazy things. and they will be talking entirely out of the friendship route and will have never even heard of their personal growth and background insight that you can get through rivalries like fuck offfff

[bionic-penis]

Even more devastating: theyre doubling down and using their position in the industry to fortify their opinion

Devastating: artist you looked up to had a bad opinion abt art

[velvetvexations]

are we "upholding our agab (and thus hampering liberation)" or are we just discussing the ways we are affected by policies in a transphobic and misogynistic society that isnt liberated lmao??? like id rather my agab didnt affect anything in my life (including idiotic trans discourse lol), but what i want versus the reality of the situation are two entirely different things lmao

It's for some reason a lot easier for trans women to completely 100% drop every last scrounge of identification with their AGAB because treated transphobically for us - pre or post transition, open or out, whatever - does indeed translate to not being treated the way cis men are treated, but the continuity between how you're treated as a cis woman and how you're treated as a trans person is so stark you cannot in get away from the fact that they're doing this because they continue to see you as your AGAB. "If they really saw us as [AGAB] we would have privilege" is not a self-deception that is applicable to trans people AFAB, but IS something a trans woman can believe in.

This is why butch trans women* tend to be chiller on average this kinna thing. TRFism is largely a framework for people who view attempting to pass as the only acceptable transfeminine experience, even if they don't say it out loud. Their only goal is desperately wanting more than anything in the world to be categorized as women to the point of playing make believe with the clown shoes idea that trans women are denied privilege because the cishetpatriarchy secretly gets it right and are lying just to have an excuse for being mean. That's not a complex you typically get when you're actually proud of being visibly someone who was AMAB.

And that's really sad! I feel bad for people who are so lost in the "if even one person can't tell I'm a woman from a glance I'm going to have a meltdown" anxiety spiral they have to do this bullshit. That genuinely sucks for them.

*To a lesser extent, non-binary people AMAB also. Every NP person AMAB I've seen involved in this discourse on the side of TMA/TME aligned themselves with femininity or womanhood in one way or another, and so can also be seen as attracted to Taxonomic Womanhood for that reason, but people who are not feminine do not generally want to be categorized as women. TRFs, of course, ignore this, and insist their NB siblings AMAB are simply in denial of being taxonomically women.

[drdemonprince]

reallyyy nervous to send this cause i rarely ever send asks and even more nervous that you dont see this but hi. I stumbled across your post regarding the hatred people feel for children that stuck out to me because of the points you made of that dislike stemming from being forced into a care taking role so i decided to go thru your blog and saw the entire discourse surrounding age gaps and predatory vs loser behavior and im not here to argue but i need guidance ig? Im older now but at the time I was 17 and this guy i had been friends with who came onto me when i was 15 and he was 18-19 we ended up....dating ig? Idk we never met face to face and could only interact online but i was (and still am) a queer person having a hard time accepting their sexuality and often went back and forth between being a lesbian and being bisexual because dating men brought less shame than dating women so it was easier. Anyways one thing i should point is that i jokingly said i expected a dick pic from him cause he sent me a photo that can only be viewed once and immediately after he sent one even tho i clarified after he sent the picture that it was no an invitation for a dick pic... anyways i still (foolishly ik) pursued some type of romantic relationship with this 22 year old guy at 17. One thing you should know he idolizes Scott Pilgrim (famously known 24 yr old dating a 17 yr old) and i questioned if he was using me as a means of living out his idols life which he denied ofc) anyways im sending this ask basically to figure out was I....groomed? Is he a predator? I mean 17 is not legally an adult where im from but you can basically go to college, get a job and start providing for yourself even before you hit 18 but i at most just went college cause yk doing all of that felt stressful for me. We had similar interests which was the talking point between us but idk i still felt like I was highly immature at 17. Idk i just need clarification. I cant really go to any adult in my life about this cause im queer and i dont want them to find out really so ig im coming to you to help figure out if i should give this guy who has come back into my life after i thoroughly cut him off out of guilt for cutting him off and him claiming he was "worried about me" and felt suicidal without me around another chance? If you end up not answering thats ok! I am just springing my problems onto you a total stranger but tumblr is supposed to be about finding community with other queers right? And i could really use a fellow queer elder especially one with such views on what counts as entering adulthood and whether adults can mix with those who arent "real adults" without it being inherently predatory or a means to groom. Thanks! (Btw i was having a convo on this with my friend and we both agreed a 24 year old dating a 17 year old is weird but im curious to hear your views on it even if i dont agree cause im open to hearing diff views. This isnt bait i promise i just wanna know was i unknowingly groomed or preyed upon because i thought i was too smart to ever have that happen to me lol.)

I think what is most important is to look to your own feelings and experience.

People always want there to be hard and fast rules about what is and is not acceptable behavior in all situations, because then if a person crossed that line with them, they "get" to have been affected by the experience, and deserve to say they are traumatized and to get support. I don't think that is a useful way of going about it. I think that your own feelings and how the relationship affected you is more than enough information to go on, and if you need support following this relationship, then you need support!

What stands out to me is that this guy made suicide threats to bait you back into speaking with him. That's highly manipulative, frightening stuff. And that's just the tip of the iceburg to me, as a person who was not there and did not live your experience -- if this guy was pulling shit like that to try and get under your skin, it's likely he was doing a lot of things to manipulate and guilt you. And that's very concerning to me. I wasn't there, I won't say that all relationships with an age gap of this size are *inherently* abusive in all situations, but that really doesn't matter, what matters is your experience of this particular man and how he made you feel. And it sure doesn't sound like he made you feel supported, safe, cared for as a full person with a variety of qualities, respected in your boundaries, encouraged to grow, or anything else positive. I bet that if you look back there were a variety of problems with how he treated you, perhaps that you weren't able to recognize as inappropriate at the time (and this is of course part of why age gaps are the data point people look at -- people with less life experience are easier to mistreat in these ways).

You can label your own experience in whatever ways serve you. But more than the label, I think what matters is affirming your own experience and perception of things, and seeking support in whatever ways that you want it!