#thoughts and feedback welcome

[oblivious-aro]

Brief overview of Carrie and Lowell and this project: Carrie and Lowell, released in 2015, is the seventh studio album by Sufjan Stevens. In 2012, Stevens' mother (Carrie) died from stomach cancer. He had a very complicated relationship with Carrie, who suffered from schizophrenia, depression, and alcoholism. She left her first husband when Stevens was a year old and was absent for the vast majority of his life, but from the interviews I've read she seemed to be a relatively pleasant person to be with when she was around.

This album calls upon a lot of symbols and imagery whose meaning seems to be very personal, so it can be difficult to say exactly what is meant by some lyrics, which makes it very interesting to try and interpret some of the nuances of what he's saying.

I've never had someone close to me die, but a lot of the ways Stevens talks about pain and sadness in this album have really resonated with me. Many of these songs are my go-to when I'm feeling down. It's also one of the few albums that I'll listen to front to back.

Since I feel so strongly about these songs, I thought it'd be fun to go through each one and write down what the lyrics mean and how they resonate with me. Starting, of course, with Death with Dignity:

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Spirit of my silence I can hear you, but I'm afraid to be near you And I don't know where to begin And I don't know where to begin Somewhere in the desert there's a forest, and an acre before us But I don't know where to begin But I don't know where to begin

The singer starts off by talking about a presence he is aware of, but hesitant to face (obviously grief and complicated feeling about his relationship with his mother).

He doesn't talk about these heavy feelings with others, and likely doesn't acknowledge even in private (spirit of my silence), but their presence is still constantly felt, and he knows he probably should be doing something about them.

He knows he's neglecting some important things, but his issues feel too big and intimidating to face, so he tries to avoid dealing with them. Again I lost my strength completely, oh be near me tired old mare With the wind in your hair

Of course, just because you aren't dealing your problems doesn't mean they aren't affecting you. These feelings are heavy, and he's carrying them all the time. He may not be properly facing with his feelings, but they are still there and they still drain him.

The mare's been around a long time and the singer still thinks she's beautiful and her presence is a comfort, but she's probably not the same as she once was.

Amethyst and flowers on the table, is it real or a fable? Well I suppose a friend is a friend And we all know how this will end

He questioning a memory here. It's not likely that the flowers (that probably some family member had out on their table when he was a kid), were actually adorned with jewels. His brain is making this memory seem even better than it was, and he's aware of this. The flowers certainly might have felt that decadent at the time, or maybe he's inflating the positive feelings in the present because he wants something pleasant to give him a break from the pain he's in.

In the end he concludes it doesn't matter either way. He's here for comfort and escape, which the image is providing it. Does it matter if the memory is totally accurate? It's only a temporary distraction, he won't be thinking about it for long either way. No point in wasting time worrying about it.

Chimney swift that finds me be my keeper, silhouette of the cedar

He fantasizes about receiving relief from a stranger. He wants someone to stumble upon him and offer him help rather than reach out to someone he already knows. Asking for help can be daunting, and sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers than those that are close to us. Lower stakes.

Not really much to go off of on the cedar bit, but I assume the silhouette is another image whose beauty evokes strong feelings of comfort.

What is that song you sing for the dead What is that song you sing for the dead

At first I thought he was looking for another memory to take comfort in, to distract him. He remembers this one evoking some feelings in him, but he can't quite remember how it goes. Might be a suitable distraction if he remembers how it went and can see what he saw in it again.

Then I realized he's saying he doesn't know what to do to grieve properly. That would tie it back to the whole I don't know where to begin thing. That makes more sense. Both lines even repeat. He seeks reassurance and comfort from past memories a lot in this song, so it fits that he's looking to his past for guidance on grief too, rather than the present.

I see the signal searchlight strike me, in the window of my room Well I got nothing to prove Well I got nothing to prove

This ties in a bit to the chimney sweep and the spirit of my silence bit. He's hiding his feelings from the people around him, and himself (in his hesitancy to properly face them), but he can't run from his feelings forever. He's going to face the feelings he's been pushing away eventually.

Acknowledging them feels jarring, like he's being called out. He's been keeping his feelings hidden for a while, then suddenly they're not.

Maybe bringing things to light wasn't actually as big of a deal as he feared it would be, or maybe he's playing off like he doesn't care to try and minimize the distress.

I forgive you mother I can hear you, and I long to be near you But every road leads to an end Yes every road leads to an end Your apparition passes through me, in the willows and five red hens You'll never see us again You'll never see us again

(Fun Fact: I thought the lyric was But I'm afraid to be near you, sowing that he's drawn to thoughts and memories of his mother, but they can be as painful as they are pleasant. Guess not.) He's reaching for her, even though he knows she's out of reach.

I imagine the hens were on some kind of decoration that he doesn't have anymore (like one of those fancy plates in your grandma's kitchen), rather than actual chickens. His Mother's gone, just like the plate. He's never going to see either of them again. but the memory is so vivid that it almost feels like he can reach them. They feel almost in his grasp.

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Some Final Words: When I listen to this song, an image of a sunny field shows up in my head. The amethyst and flowers are on a wooden table inside a simple wooden house with big windows that gets lots of sunlight. I usually picture the flowers as yellow or purple. The signal searchlight also takes place in a simple wooden house, shining through one of the upper floor bedroom windows at night. It makes sense that the part of the song where he talks about feeling exposed takes place in the most personal room in a house.

Death with Dignity is about Stevens' difficulty facing his grief. Carrie's death left an emptiness that's difficult to fill because of just how little she was actually in his life. Despite her long absences, her relationship with Stevens is still very significant to him, and her absence is very much felt. He grasps at pleasant memories, what little pieces of Carrie he does have, to fill in the hole she left when she died.

Like most of the songs in this album, Death with Dignity ends with a sustained visceral ethereal noise. This one is very choral. It's beautiful but tinged with sadness and longing. Still very gentle, especially compared to some of the later outros.

[canisalbus]

doodled your little guys!!! I have so many thoughts about them. As someone who lives in Italy it has been absolutely wonderful seeing your characters express the country's culture and history!!! It's not often that I see characters be based off Italian history in such an artistic manner.. But that might be me living under a rock, LOL. Anyhow, keep doing what you do, YOU ROCK!!!!

.

[eywaseclipse]

Don’t get mad at me, but I see far more potential for an unrequited love, slow burn, grumpy reluctant Tsu’tey mini series rather than the one shot requested. If anyone has other ideas I’m open to that as well

[the-blaze-empress]

updated qsmp steven universe au gem list!! i absolutely do not have the time to be thinking about this au rn so of course its the only thing in my brain

[cornucopiawrites]

This post is a brief exploration of Makima's self-awareness, self-perception, and state of contentedness in Part 1 of Chainsaw Man. It's (hopefully) going to be one of several analyses that I hope to make in the future. My goal is to examine a recurring headcanon(s)/theory(ies) in the CSM fandom pertaining to Makima's character: that she is unfulfilled in life, seeks a platonic relationship, is unhappy, and is in denial about one or more of the three. I believe the above is false, and will attempt to explain my reading of her character. But first, to summarize my perspective: From a character focused, perhaps "psychoanalytic" reading,

Makima is a character that is content, grounded, and very self-aware.

In re-reading Part 1, I think that the best illumination on Makima's personality and view of herself happens during her confrontation with Reze:

The "Town Mouse and Country Mouse" fable is a central motif in the Reze Arc. It doesn't need to be summarized in-depth; but here's a panel that sums it up:

So we have two contrasting lifestyles: a treacherous life with big rewards, vs a simple life with simple pleasures.

Makima appears to identify with the country mouse. I think she brings this up to Reze partly because she overheard her conversation with Denji, but also because she might sympathize with Reze's own desire for a simple life. But what's really important to this reading is the twist she puts on her identification:

The reference to a farm in the country clearly brings to mind the rustic, simple lifestyle of the country mouse. But, as Makima admits, she doesn't mind when other country mice die. She "couldn't tell you why" but she does find it "very calming."

Said in another way, she sees value in killing others to ensure her own satisfaction.

Makima is a functioning sociopath, and understands and fully accepts this about herself.

Obviously, this isn't a groundbreaking statement. But it's important to keep in mind that she understands this about herself. She even casually instructs Aki in her methodology and perspective on power structures:

But what's interesting is that Makima doesn't need much to be content. In essence, she longs for the life of her "farmer friend", be they real, metaphorical, or whatever. It's a subversion of her nature as the Control Devil. Rather than desiring absolute domination, as her true identity would suggest, Makima's desires are fairly simple.

For one, it's clear that she is fond of taking care of the creatures of her domain: her dogs, the devils and humans in her division, and humanity as a whole.

I actually believe this other panel, during her meeting with Kishibe can be taken at face value:

And if we take this other conversation with Kishibe during the Control Devil arc...

Her goals in the manga essentially equate to taking better care of her farm.

Her other desire is food. I don't see this talked about much, but girl likes to eat.

When she thinks she has defeated CSM, she tells Pochita that he can now look forward to plenty of square meals and naps. First of all, let's address a critical thing:

Makima is not interested in an equal relationship with CSM.

Her desired outcomes are binary: either be defeated and devoured by him, or defeat and control him. (Again with the eating.) After all, when she thinks she's beaten him, she emphasizes that she's beaten him twice now (best two out of three?), that he belongs to her, forever:

Not an equal relationship. Not at all.

And what's she excited to do, now that she's won? Get to work, changing reality? Eventually. First, Makima wants to unwind. Pochita is a lucky loser, since he gets to look forward to plenty of square meals and restful naps:

(Notice how Denji leaving the corpse pile almost looks like he's crawling out the ground. Like a rat in the crops, perhaps? Furthermore, he exploits her sociopathy — her not bothering to ever know his face and scent — to beat her.)

She doesn't make it a secret that she enjoys food. Look at what she tells Tendo and Kurose, when they insist on going back to Kyoto:

It's tempting to call Tokyo her "farm." Or at least her homestead, perhaps. Because on her trip to Kyoto, she laments having to meet with the "big wigs." Now, this does support the interpretation that Makima has a role in a heirarchy, and is an underling to someone or something. And perhaps that is true. But I don't think the power dynamics is what make the meeting stressful to her. Being in the middle of a bureaucratic heirarchy doesn't necessarily bother her.

She just doesn't like leaving her homestead:

I do too, sister.

With all this in mind, I hope this convincingly supports the idea that Makima is self-aware of her own personality, place in life, and desires, and is content with her life as it is (something very, very few Part 1 characters can attest to).

I think I'll stop here for now. As I've said, I hope to write up more about her in the near future. (Life's been hectic and busy; fortunately she's basically my comfort character — my working farm B&B.) But I will offer one final thought:

I feel as though Makima's perceived happiness (or lack thereof) and emotional stability gets extra scrutiny from readers due to her role as a female villain and figure of authority. I think, unconsciously, any character that is competent, manipulative, and successful is more threatening to a "general audience" if that character is female. That's something I hope to touch upon in the future.

Thanks for reading, if you got this far! Thoughts are welcome, of course. Especially if you disagree — I love reading people's takes and ideas about Makima.

[riddlemearose]

Posted a new fic yesterday in my Despite Everything series, that can be read on AO3 here.

got your heart in a headlock Summary: She's tired. A century of magical extertion to keep herself and the Calamity in stasis while she prayed for Link to awaken has taken its toll on her. Zelda just wants to be a teenager with no responsibilities, even if it's only for a little while. A.K.A. Flora, Twilight and Wild take a vacation in the aftermath of the Calamity's defeat.

Relationships:

Flora & Twilight & Wild

General Tags:

Fluff and Angst

Post-Breath of the Wild and Pre-Linked Universe

A ridiculous amount of teasing banter

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

Trying to Put My Finger on Why I Don’t Really Like MOC Storyline

I was literally just writing a different post when this idea hit me. I think one of the reasons that MOC Dean storyline just doesn’t really work for me is that it’s not really a proper heroes journey, or it doesn’t feel satisfying. I know I don’t like Sam’s treatment in the storyline, and I find it slow at times, too. But the Dean treatment of it all bugs me too.

Stay with me here.

Season 1 to 5 is a bit more Sam’s Heroes Journey. He reluctantly gets back into hunting, tries to avoid going dark, goes dark, redeems himself (with varying degrees of support from his brother). It’s a complete arc (though I’m glad it didn’t end here). And Sam is forever changed by this. And even Dean is changed from going to hell and learns to trust Sam. This arc mattered for both of them.

Season 6 is like an Epilogue to Seasons 1-5. More a Cas villain reveal, and both brothers getting kicked in the teeth, than a heroic arc.

Season 7 is the consequences of Season 6 and lead-in to Season 8 onward, and Dean is depressed, Sam is insane and Cas finally helps clean up his own mess only after being bullied into doing so. Dean avenges Bobby and stops the leviathan slaughter-house plans by stabbing Dick, I guess. So, Dean is more or less the Season 7 hero.

Season 8 is again Sam’s Heroes Journey, except he doesn’t “get to” fulfill it this time because Dean won’t let him sacrifice himself.

Season 9 is Dean dealing with the consequences of his own actions and Sam’s feelings of betrayal (Angel/Sam) in the most self-destructive way possible (taking MOC), and getting killed.

Season 10 is Dean’s gradual downfall, but his redemption is … stopping himself from killing Sam more than saving the world? He defeats Abadon, but the way he does it is almost more scary than triumphant. Sam’s actions get the mark off of Dean (through getting Rowen and co. involved, and Sam’s actions cure him from being a demon), not Dean.

So in Season 11, the Darkness being unleashed is more a result of Sam taking action than Dean (though he indirectly got the ball rolling by taking the mark). At the end of the season, Dean is willing to sacrifice himself to save the world, but he doesn't have to. He defuses the Amara bomb by waxing poetic about sibling love. While I like this for the change of pace and for how it shows that Dean has finally accepted that Sam loves him back more than anything, it also sort of leaves Season 11 ending on a whimper.

I guess the biggest issue I have with the whole MOC plot for Dean is that once it’s over, it doesn’t seem to matter. No one really holds it against him. He never even like apologizes to Sam for almost killing him for the second time in one season, in “Brother’s Keeper” (that I recall). Dean doesn’t really feel much different as a character after, imo.

For people who like the MOC storyline, did you find it satisfying? Or did you like it for the Dean focus? Did you feel it changed Dean in any meaningful or lasting way?

For others who don’t care for the MOC storyline, what was your particular issue with it?

[goodintentionswipfest]

Gather up your ghosts!

Reminder that Good Intentions WIP Fest is coming up on October 31st! Dredge up those stories taking up space in your documents and in your mind and release them to the world! Let us see all that writing that would otherwise be denied to your readers! Let your dead come out to play!

Full event information is linked above, but the basics are: this is a time for your to post all those abandoned WIPs that you're never going to finish. Post them to this AO3 collection with the tag "Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued"; post them to Tumblr with the tags "good intentions wipfest" and "good intentions 2023;" and @ me here if you want them reblogged to this account.

This is a fest for people like me, who would rather have some of an amazing fic (or piece of art) than none of it at all. It's an invitation to free yourself from your guilt - and it's an invitation to readers to take a chance, read a story, and talk to an author. Who knows - maybe inspiration will strike again! Or at least you might learn how the story was going to end.

This fest is generally tailored to fics, but all unfinished work is welcome. Check out the FAQ for more information, or feel free to send me an ask if you have another question!

[enby--ghost]

Munke

Cryptography :D

He be big footing

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the design! Well, except for the fact it sucks, lol. I tried to make it look like a more realistic animal, but still having an distinct look. I figured, since bigfoot is such an elusive creature, than it would make sense if it had a sort of camouflage coloring. And the bits of green are, like, bits of moss and grass that he uses to hide himself from humans

Feel free to ask me any questions about the game, cryptids, or characters that are gonna appear!

[bonnibelleangelica]

Writing Things I Learnt the Hard Way #19

~Feedback Addition~

Not to brag, but I have a 90% return rate on my test readers. Almost everyone finishes the excerpt gave them and comes back with helpful feedback asking for more. I’m telling you this so you trust everything I’m about to say.

Here are the rooky mistakes I will never make again:

Sound confident. Stop apologising for forcing people to read your book, you sound like you already think it's not worth reading. Reading your work shouldn’t feel like a sacrifice, it should feel like an opportunity. (But don’t be too cocky. Gush instead.)

Best foot forward. No one wants to read the sloppy first draft that you’ve already admitted is full of mistakes and plotholes and half of it is probably going to get cut. Don’t waste people’s time.

Reading your entire book is a huge commitment, especially if you’re making it sound bad. Give 10 chapters at a time so people can have a taste before they commit to more. They’ll also be able to give more specific feedback and actually remember what happened.

10 Chapters. Not one page, not one chapter. Trust me, the harshest feedback I got was from the person I only gave one chapter to. When people have small sample sizes, they get nitpicky and impatient. They ask why everything didn’t get explained immediately and they’ll assume nothing makes sense. No one who has read my first 10 chapters has ever complained about the things that reader complained about because they got to see why I held back or why that one thing struck out so much.

ASK QUESTIONS. Do not DO NOT say “what did you think?” Normal people don’t analyse things, they dont know what to look out for and they don’t know how harsh to be. A lot of unguided readers will assume you want them to play editor and they’ll find typos and say something vague about pacing. NO! You want audience feedback. So think about what you’d like them to look out for, send them the questions with the 10 Chapters and you’ll get much more helpful replies.

Adding on to that, the questions give the reader direct permission to be harsh. “Was anything confusing?” Well, I wasn’t gonna say anything but...

How to do it properly:

Alpha readers are people that give you feedback before the book is done to see if you’re going in the right direction. This still needs to be edited and polished, but the rest of the book can be in the oven. Though I’d suggest having at least a vague idea of the over all story before you send it out. I sent my first 10 out when I reached chapter 20.

Beta readers are for when everything is done. Remember, you still don't give them the full manuscript–10 chapters at a time only, and make sure they know to be harsh and that they can drop out whenever they’d like. People who drop out are crucial for understanding where your book will fail to hold readers.

Remember, a harsh email is better than 100 bad reviews on Goodreads. This is your chance to cover your ass and patch holes.

Give some questions upfront so they know what to look out for and tailor them to each section. “Please note how often you cry in chapters 10-20.”

Then you give them new questions once they’re done and this pop quiz should be a surprise so they can’t study for it. “What is the Great Uprising? Where does magic come from? How does the class system work?” This isn’t supposed to test them (make that clear). It’s a reflection on you if readers have no idea how anything works. Sometimes, hearing someone’s interpretation of your work will highlight gaps or even give you ideas!

Question Ideas:

What did you like and why?

What didn’t you like and why?

Please note anytime you get bored or lose interest.

What kinds of things did you skip over? Eg, exposition, descriptions, internal ramblings

Was everything clear enough? Are you confused about anything so far?

Is anything unnecessary? What should I consider cutting/trimming?

Was anything unbelievable?

Were you uncomfortable with anything?

What do you think of the main character?

Can you tell the characters apart well enough?

At what point would you decide to buy (or not buy) this book?

Would you like the next section? If not, please let me know why.

Anyway, my new dystopian romance novel goes out to beta readers next month. If you’re interested, let me know!

[debbeh]

It’s the guy

[kogiopsis]

@metalicats mentioned you on a post “valid DAV modder: the person systematically...”:

@kogiopsis you should give very confusing critique on all the ways the modder is Wrong about their sorting

​Tempting, but I don't really want to actually engage with them on Nexus... however, I WILL do a breakdown of the modder's choices vs what Radiant orders would actually fit the characters here.

Bellara: Blue, presumably Windrunner. No way. Bellara is the most incredibly obvious Edgedancer; her entire life is about preserving the past and remembering the forgotten!

Davrin: Amber, so either Bondsmith or Stoneward. Stoneward would actually be a good fit, though I'm torn on whether or not it would be better for him than being a Windrunner.

Emmrich: Silver, so presumably Edgedancer (for the diamond association of the Ten Essences). I mean, Skybreaker is the other candidate for a grey-ish stone but uh. LOL. no. I do actually think Emmrich would be a good Edgedancer, but he'd be an even better Elsecaller - the themes of self-mastery play into his personal quest, and their roles as diplomats and the bridge between the physical and cognitive realms maps nicely onto his necromancy.

Harding: Green, so Truthwatcher. Not a good fit for her personality. I think Harding would be a Willshaper - independence, exploration, and prioritizing self-expression feels right for her, especially given what she struggles with in her personal quest.

Lucanis: Blue-Grey, so Windrunner, which... not as an assassin, he ain't. My gut feeling is Lightweaver, though I don't feel like I can articulate the 'why' as clearly as for some other characters. Something about struggling to admit truths to himself, something about deception, something about a love of art...

Neve: Blue-Green, so Elsecaller, I think. Like Emmrich, this is a 'yeah, that could work, but something else would work better' situation. For Neve, it's Truthwatcher. Hands down. That's what she does.

Taash: Purple, so Willshaper. This one I think actually depends a lot on your POV on Taash's relationship with Shathaan and what it means to be adaari; Willshaper would fit well for their gender identity arc! But honestly, I think the best answer for Taash here is the most obvious: Dustbringer. Fire abilities? Controlling great and destructive powers? That's a tidy fit for Taash.

Rook, of course, is the Bondsmith of the lot.

[loopsisloops]

I really hope none of this comes off as fake deep.

Do I just suck at life?

Aren’t we tired? Aren’t we tired of this way of living. And hey, maybe I am wrong. Maybe I do need to suck it up, just do the thing, and grow up. I should stop stalling and move on. But I can’t help but think of how robotic all of this feels.

I don’t like living but I love being human. I find so much joy in human connection. Two people making each other laugh. The smile on someone’s face after you give them a compliment. Finding things you have in common with a total stranger.

I have nothing more to say except perhaps fuck capitalism and how inhumane it makes everything feel.

[phosphorus-noodles]

what are ren and martins designs in your toh au? :0

OHH ANON I WISH I KNEW...

don't have anything solid yet, but so far my thinking is this:

ren is a werewolf. obviously. not sure the level of anthro-ness yet it may depend on my ability to draw dhfjdsh. dunno his coven yet either, but maybe construction ?? possibly bard, if only bc it's red? i'm not sure yet hsdjfds

martyn is. probably your standard blond witch idk. maybe he'll have a tail like the head of the illusion coven bc it's silly. also he's in illusions bc it's martyn and i think it suits him :3

[aheathen-conceivably]

This one is for my dire-hard Darlings reading both the story itself and the AU 💕