#venting (sorta)

[waywardsou2]

What is something that you would like the people close to you to understand about you better?

Uhm, this might sound cringe, but I want them to know that I'm complex. I want them to know that I might do things that don't make sense, but I always mean well. I find it difficult to understand things that make sense in my head but when I say them out loud, they don't make sense and people misunderstand and then bad things happen. I am always trying my best and I always mean well to those around me. I don't like how complicated I am, and I wish there was a better way and more time for me to explain that to the people who are important to me.

[ddizzydaydream]

Sleeping is fun and all until I wake up because I feel like every. single. time. I've had like... a mini panic attack in my sleep.

[babyblankyerror]

Alexithymia

[johnnyshrine]

★ 113 // “Dissociation”

[thecommunalfoolboy]

It’s crazy how many people just don’t understand why a lot of aro and or ace people don’t like that Alaster gets shipped. It’s not that hard to understand we don’t have a lot to let ourselves lose. I mean can you name 10 asexual characters? 5? Can you name two aro characters. There’s the guy from Archie who they made have a sex scene in a movie version. There’s a few books. I think a background character in Heartstopper? Do you see the theme here??? You’re all queer people, do you not get it? How it feels to have nothing? Is it so wrong to be upset that there’s finally an outwardly aroace person in popular media and instead of people embracing that they’re fighting on the internet about why it’s ok to ignore it? And I will never in my fucking life have anything against the people who are aro and or ace and portray him in THEIR experiences, even if it is a romance or sex favorable experience, but it is obvious that way too many of you guys are allo and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t even like him as a character that much, he isn’t even made by an aroace artist. The show isn’t even that fucking good, I just want to keep someone like me for once in my life. If there were a million other aroace characters I wouldn’t care, but it just hurts seeing erasure coming from my own community. It just sucks, man, I don’t know. It just sucks

[bluelizze]

Doodle page of Min and Johann (belongs to @bunnygirllover45)

Min’s Toyhou.se Page

idk why but johann is like... comforting to me so im indulging myself. also i love how the entire time doodling this, i was listening to I Love You, I'm Sorry by Gracie Abrams and its funny to me bc i would've listening to something... less soft than that? but idk maybe bc it was raining and it's when nostglia hits.

also yes, the second doodle page is reference to this (which is my fav to reread)

[sauce-salad-bowl]

drabble idea where sans is an author underground and reader is just a video game character okay send blog post it’s under there 🤝🤝

This is embarrassing. He doesn’t even know what to write. Sans scoots away from the empty document on his computer, face buried deep in his hands. Maybe he should just cut his losses and go to sleep. Again.

But he doesn’t go to sleep. He mopes for a minute, then glances back at his computer and sighs, pulling himself closer again. Instead of agonizing over the blank page, he opens the UnderNet.

Scrolling will totally help him forget his problems.

And it does, for a few minutes.

He leaves five or twelve comments on Papyrus’ page, swipes through a few videos, only to quickly stumble onto another drawing of you. The caption says:

‘miss this game sm. who’s ur fave character? ^.^’ His thumb hovers over the keypad for a moment, then he ‘likes’ it.

It was a few years ago from now when he was getting coffee with Alphys, and she was gabbing to him about the things she had found in Waterfall. He was surprised when she handed him a copy of a video game he had never seen before.

“keep it, alph. you’ll appreciate it more than me.” Sans tried to respectfully decline, honestly thinking he’d be too lazy to play.

But Alphys insisted, her claw tapping the package. “I found a b-bunch of copies, actually. I-I’ve been trying to p-pass them around, get a bunch of p-people i-into it.”

“and how many you got so far?” he asked, placing his skull in his palm.

“Uhm, Undyne! A-and Asgore, for a f-few minutes…” She pushed the game towards him on the table. “And th-they both liked it! C-Can you just try it out?”

Sans shrugged and took the game from her, doubting that he would. But he could give it to Papyrus, maybe he’d get a kick out of it. He glanced at the cover, decorated with humans in odd-looking outfits. You didn’t stick out to him, not at first.

The video game ended up on the bookstand, under his quantum physics/joke textbook, for weeks. He was a busy guy, okay?

It would’ve sat there longer too, had Undyne not been over soon after. She grabbed the dusty case and insisted that they all play, waving it around wildly.

“It’s got swords and chainsaws, awesome characters, and a totally badass story! We’ve gotta take turns between levels!” Her eye had sparkled, and Papyrus had squealed at the thought, and that was how Sans found himself on the couch, sandwiched between them and watching them play.

It was a simple RPG adventure. And honestly, it didn’t seem like anything crazy to him, so he was content with just watching. But of course after a while his brother was shoving a controller in his hand and insisting he have a turn.

“alright, alright. ulna’t get your radius in a twist.”

“OH MY GOD, SANS. JUST PLAY.”

He snorted, but complied, actually enjoying solving some of the puzzles. He thought the art style was neat, too. And the NPCs were kind of interesting.

Especially you.

You were a loyal companion to Sans’ character, and he immediately noticed how… endeared he was by you. Your dialogue genuinely made him laugh out loud— he was definitely stealing some of your material. And your character just had this… aura, no, mystery about you, like you knew something more than he did.

Maybe this game was cooler than he thought.

Sans found himself quickly exhausting your dialogue options. He was just curious about what you had to say. When Undyne started to complain, he blinked, and handed the controller to her. He’d gotten distracted.

It’s only really spiraled from there. After playing the whole thing through right after Undyne left, he’s been a fan of the game ever since.

But if someone really asked him about it, he’s not sure what he would say. He liked it, but not much else. Because he wants to seem casual about it. He is casual about it.

That’s why he’s here now, a few years later, struggling to get down thoughts about you onto his keyboard. Super casual indeed.

He sucks in a breath, finally opening the document page again. You didn’t just fascinate him. He thought about you constantly, more than he’d like to admit. He found himself seeking you out outside your game, which worked well since it became pretty popular on UnderNet. He’s read his fair share of theories about you, only half of which he agrees with.

He wasn’t sure at all what to make of it, but he knew he liked thinking about you a lot. Sans had a lot of time for daydreaming as a sentry, since no humans ever actually came through. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t imagine you, shuffling past him in the snowy forrest.

Can he write about that? Sans puts down a few sentences, but it doesn’t really go anywhere, so he deletes it.

It’s not like he hasn’t tried with, y’know, real people. But he’s found that it’s a lot of effort to make relationships work. Sans has had a few great ones, but things always just sort of fizzled out. He hasn’t given up on it, but there are only so many folks down here. And he has a funny habit of finding his way back to you.

Is his little crush odd? Uh, yeah, maybe. But when his chest swells at the thought of you, or he thinks of a joke he just wishes he could tell you, he has to admit that he’s never really felt like this before.

He startles at the sound of pots banging downstairs. Papyrus, probably starting on dinner. For some reason, he wonders if you’d like his brother’s cooking. He pictures you at the table, eating and laughing with them in their living room. It’s sweet, but he shakes his head. Still underground. Not quite what he wanted.

When he thinks about what would really make him happy, he sees himself on the surface. The sun is hot against his face, and there’s a sky that somehow never stops. And when he looks, the hand entwined with his is yours.

Suddenly, he knows what he wants to write about.

+++++

hi what’d you think?? i was sitting in bed and gardening, and this idea that i’ve had for a while kept bugging me, so i opened my drafts and had to expel. i’ve had writers block all day so im hype that i actually came up with something, even if it’s not what i planned on writing.

uh i hope it makes sense?? its late where i am, cant tell if it makes sense!! im going to bed 🛌

[guiltiest-gear]

Sorry for having the Disorder that makes me abnormal

I'm doing my best and taking the Medication that makes me normal, but capitalism makes the Medication extremely expensive, and I still have the Disorder too

My bad for being born wrong in the eyes of society, it will happen again 👍

[rudywatermelon]

Rough Day

Drew this as sketch for my own comfort. After finishing the sketch, say fuck it we ball and made this happen

-

Background below ⬇️

[ddizzydaydream]

Boy, oh boy!! My uncle is a right dickhead!!! I need something to focus on other than some really intense family drama - please and thank you.

Anyways uhmmmm hihi can I get y'all to send like,, uhh a combination of three emojis to my inbox here (for a general random oc(anthro, human, animal, etc etc) or like, for fantrolls over at @daydreamingonalternia

[send three random emojis to either blog's inbox, thankies <3]

[pilkprofessional]

someone just dropped "scared this character might actually be a minor" MY BROTHER IN CHRIST I BETA READ A FIC YOU WROTE ABOUT HIM GETTING PLOWED TO HELL AND BACK I THINK ITS A LITTLE TOO LATE FOR THAT CONCERN

[taxidermycanine]

someday life will feel like this again

[babyblankyerror]

[inkwell-selfships]

"I don't follow dnis" fuck off, if you can't respect someone's personal boundaries go to hell.

[2aceofspades]

Lil' bunny boy

(:

[bluelizze]

some more johann and min stuff

johann belongs to @bunnygirllover45