#very funny..

[triptychofvoids]

MEEEDIC! Heh, sorry about that again. Pauling here.

Scout's been a real pain in the butt recently. I need you to find someone to distract him so he doesn't start flirting with me while I'm trying to bury bodies (plus, I think the Admin's starting to get a bit... angry... at his show of affections... not 'favourable circumstances' for the job, apparently).

Why don't you play cupid and find him a merc he'll focus his gross affections on instead? I'll allow you to use your bonesaw if necessary! Just think of it as a contract, look, I'll even pay you- JUST GET HIM OUT OF MY SIGHT!

.... Thanks doc, I know I can count on you!

-Miss F. Pauling

you want me to play cupid?? hAHAHAAA!! HAAHAHAHHEEheh hoo!! im no matchmaker miss pauling! you must be incredibly desperate to be coming to me for help with this. ill see what i can do, if theres something in it for me, but i cant promise you anything. i think youd be better off just telling him outright that youre not interested no?

[localcanadiancreature62]

YOU LITTLE-

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

now that trump has tiktok, twitter, facebook and insta in his pocket, get ready for a massive wave of internet censorship. one of trump's greatest weapons has always been misinformation; it's going to become harder and harder to spread facts and criticism going forward. posts that aren't made invisible will be magically ignored by the algorithm. dissidents will have their accounts deleted and voices erased.

this is a suppression tactic. this is another stage of fascism.

[an-na-ko]

Saw it was make a terrible comic day today (June 24 2025) so meet my cats

[beebfreeb]

Messaging people for the first time is so hard. What am I supposed to say? Like, "You seem really odd and your blog intrigues me. Do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters?" What! Whatever. I will just follow you back and stare at your blog with my big beautiful brown eyes.

[atissi]

locked the fuck back in

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

Just in case you've never seen a monkey run …… （a monkey in qianling mountain黔灵山 in china)

[dramatic-dolphin]

when we were studying the bible in literature class (so we have the context necessary for later works that reference the bible), i think we were at the book of jonah, and one of my classmates was studying the text very intently, and then looked up and earnestly said "professor, i don't understand the will of god"

the teacher was just like. well sadly i am a literature teacher and not a priest so i can't help you there. but if it helps, many people throughout history had the same problem.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[hamletthedane]

The movie Wicked is proof that any source material can be vastly improved by simply making the intense female friendship much gayer + the mutual male love interest both wildly bisexual and lowkey down to just be their third

[teaboot]

I totally forgot till just now but one time a new therapist handed me a pad of paper and said "draw me a picture of how you feel" and after spending like five whole minutes of dead silence scribbling a teeny tiny pitch black dot in the middle of the pad that dug a hole straight through like 15 pages I gave it back to see him staring back at me like

[cart00nmilk]

About being in love with and absolute idiot

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

License to Kitty.

[almondcroissantsandink]

the punch-in-the-face difference in vibes is so so funny to me

[weidli]

Just saw a post that reminded me that when i was in the botanical gardens today there was a new sign with a photo of a cat and so clearly i was like oho? botanical garden mascot cat?? (mascat even) and went to see what the sign said and the sign said . See this cat? This cat is here all the time. she WILL beg you for pets. do not listen to her she is a fucking liar she will bite bite kill you. we do not own her. we do not know who owns her. if you know please fucking tell us. which is funny enough as like a sign purely because you know some botanical garden employees found this out the hard way but particularly funny because i MET THIS CAT WEEKS AGO. in the botanical gardens. she was sunning on a bench and very politely asked me for pets and was very nice for like ten minutes and then she bit me (not very hard, didn't break skin or anything) at which point i sternly told her well in that case i would not be petting her anymore and left and she followed me OUT of the gardens DOWN the street for a good bit, again shamelessly begging for pets. what an accomplished little criminal. neighborhood famous for lying and betrayal. god forbid women do anything

[orions-aether]

eastern european haunted emily axford pc, transfem daughter of libertarians ally beardsley pc, spot on pub representation grizzled old british lady siobhan thompson pc, nasty old gun guy zac oyama pc, posh boy brian murphy pc, famous explorer with a book series that really falls off lou wilson pc we're fucking eating this season my god