#we are going to make an attempt to be active
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arcanetrivia Ā· 2 days ago
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The thing about Discord is that just finding a server that has the conversations you're interested in can be difficult. Privately hosted email lists had this kind of problem too, that you sometimes could only even find out they existed by word of mouth, never mind join them. Sometimes you have to know a guy who knows a guy to get a hold of an invite code that hasn't expired by the time you come across it. (I get why they made the change that you couldn't make permanent ones if you weren't a Community server, but it can be frustrating sometimes.) Official servers for $THING may be listed publicly on $THING's website, but that's not the same as a by-fans-for-fans space that will probably have a much different culture and tone. There's Disboard, but not everything is on it. The central directory of a place like Yahoo Groups (whatever their other faults), being able to find communities and people that list certain interests on LiveJournal, the generally public or at least semi-public nature of a forum that can be found by a search engine... all of these supported discoverability. (And in my current primary fandom, besides the figurative "private group chat" that a Discord server is, I know there's some significant activity in literal private group chat. So unless you can somehow get admitted to a pre-existing group of friends, welp.)
IRC as a synchronous chat platform/protocol was there for a long time alongside (and is still in some cases, even with the ascendancy of Discord), and a lot of that ephemeral stuff has been lost unless people kept logs. But we're in a situation now where pretty much all there is, is the ephemeral, be it Discord, Twitter/Bluesky/Mastodon, Facebook (seems to actively work against finding and keeping up on what you want), Instagram (somehow even worse; my beloathed). DeviantArt worked decently well for a while, but every time they messed up site changes and policies in a way that angered artists, there was an exodus (similar to the waves of exodus from LiveJournal until now it's a ghost town unless you're Russian). Pillowfort... exists... but I am skeptical it's ever going to gain critical mass, even if Tumblr does completely go under one of these days.
And Tumblr itself... is better than nothing, but of course we all know how hard it can be to find things on because a lot of the older stuff isn't even indexed; and its structure really doesn't support coherent threaded conversation; and it's a bit too-little-too-late on their introduction of LJ/DW-style communities, which people here now don't seem to want.
(Semi-aside, not to be a Fandom Old, but re: reblogging/reposting, I see how such a thing can be a boon for those who really don't want to participate even on the level of an occasional comment here and there, but fandom was doing fine without such a feature on email lists, forums, LiveJournal. People actually were pretty annoyed when LJ tried to introduce a reposting-style feature, which was pretty clunky. The site hadn't been conceived with that sort of ecosystem in mind and it was rather grafted on. Think how people keep rejecting Tumblr's attempts at a short-form video feature: "Stop trying to be X other site and just be what you are! We're here because we want what is unique about this place!")
....sorry, I think I went on a bit of a pointless ramble there šŸ˜…
imo a discord server should be like a breakout room for fandom. like the place to run your wips by your besties or discuss your otp in more detail with a few people who were insane about it on your post or organise events with a handful of trusted mutuals etc etc. if it’s where ALL the fandom activity is going to happen it will inevitably foster a cliquey environment where the fandom is divided into ā€œthose in the serverā€ and ā€œthose who aren’tā€, lurking is disincentivised if not made outright impossible, people who feel uncomfortable joining in conversations and would rather interact with fandom through reblogging etc are largely excluded because there’s no repost mechanism, and the fandom itself becomes an enclosed space so new fans are limited in how much content and meta they can access without having to make the plunge into Joining The In Group, there’s limited scope for interaction between different communities within the same fandom, god it’s just an altogether dogshit stupid idea. what if we moved all fandom activity to really massive private groupchats. STUPID
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thewritingfairy Ā· 2 days ago
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HERE ME OUT: We get hit by some sort of deaging ray, resulting in us turning into our seven year old self. The thing is, we still have all our memories, our body may have changed but our mind hasn't.
Just imagine the absolute chaos the batfam would cause. Like their baby is an ACTUAL baby now, just a tiny angry lil thing squeaking about needing to be turned back to their original age. The cuteness aggression is unreal, and we have to hide away from the fam cause they are just full on 'OH MY BABY' mode.
Like we're just huddled up in a hiding space, Dick trying to coax us out cause he NEEDS to drown us in affection.
Bro is just like "come out my sweet baby! Oh look at your tiny hands! *incoherent babytalk and cooing*"
We're just like "STAY BACK YOU FOUL BEAST!"
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I think the story alluded to is; ąŖœā€āž“Nobody's child bad ending
You know what the worst part about that is? Your pain would feel 10x more intense due to your young body. The younger you are the more your body is still getting used to everything, so it's like your body has never felt pain bfore constantly and is in a high defense mode.
It would absolutely make you cranky and your family would find it both adorable and dangerous.
The batboys? They would be overjoyed attempting to play with you like they couldn't before. They could have, if they had just been there for you. They would force you into activities you used to like, they would keep you from gioong outside. They are the main people keeping you in the mansion forcibly.
Bruce and Alfred? They would attempt to help you with everything and the worst part is you have to let them. You can't reach the stove, you can't reach the showerhead, none of your clothes fit and your toddler clothes are too painful to put on on your own for some reason. (This is because of Bruce) And Alfred would absolute convince Bruce to put a tracker in you with an excuse that if you transform back you might leave and now you can't fight back!
The girls? The girls are better. Cassandra would help you hide from time to time, while Stephanie and Barbara would force you to play dress up and such in exchange for them defending you against Bruce. Basically they would trade favors for favors with you.
Now Duke? Duke is the one truly on your side. He's searching for a way to get you the fuck back to your usual body, he got medication ready for your toddler body. He's helping you with your hair, he's helping you by finding better clothes that don't trigger the fuck out of you. But he's also jealous... Don't get him wrong, he wants to be your favourite so he would block your communication with your friends. You don't want them to worry, right? :( But hey, he'll make it up to you by going out to the park sometimes!
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fervent-adoration Ā· 3 days ago
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I think we need some more villain f/o representation... so, let's have a
VILLAIN F/O ASK GAME!!
Made with romantic f/os in mind. Pro/darkship DNI, please and thank-you! Our viewpoints clash and I would appreciate you finding another ask game to reblog!
What is your favorite personality trait of your f/o? Why is it your favorite? And how does it affect their actions as a villain?
What is your f/o’s most unorthodox act to show love?
What made you fall for your f/o?
How does your f/o show you that they love you? How does it match up with your preferences? (This is basically asking about love languages with more specifics)
Are there any fun facts about your f/o that you want to share?
Why is your f/o a villain rather than a ā€œheroā€? How do they see themself in this regard?
Are you a ā€œf/o apologistā€, a ā€œI can fix themā€, a ā€œI’ll pretend that this never happenedā€, or a ā€œI could make them worseā€ sort of partner in regards to your f/o and their villainous actions?
What’s the worst thing that your f/o has done? How do you feel about that? Is it canon to your selfship lore?
What is your dynamic with your f/o? As many dynamic descriptions as you want here!
What role do you play within your f/o’s villainy? A peer? An onlooker? Perhaps the one to try to stop them? What’ve you got?
How does your f/o feel about PDA?
How does your f/o’s past affect the way they approach their relationship with you?
What kinds of dates does your f/o like to go on with you?
What does your f/o visualize for the future with you? How does this align with your view for the future?
How did you win your f/o’s heart? Was it easy? What’s their favorite thing about you, do you suppose?
What kinds of compliments does your f/o give? Why these ones? Do you like them?
Does your f/o encourage you to become actively better, or do they encourage more nefarious behaviors?
Is your f/o good at taking care of things? How are they in a domestic setting?
How does your f/o attempt to impress you? Does it work?
How would your f/o react if they found you upset?
How did your f/o first take to learning about you? Did they ask you questions outright? Observe you when the two of you were together? Word of mouth from others? Or even something else?
Will your f/o do anything for you? What is their limit, if anything?
Was your f/o scared of falling in love?
Free space! Tell us about your f/o in however much detail you wish, and tell us about your favorite aspects of your relationship with them. This is the infodump question.
Feel free to reblog and have people send specific asks, or just fill out all of the questions for yourself!
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strawbairicake Ā· 3 days ago
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hallo Lia, before i say anything else i think i should apologize for taking so long to submit a request for your event—i kept either forgetting or endlessly second-guessing any draft of an ask i came up with because i didn’t want to end up annoying you, i hope you can forgive me :((
since it’s so late i completely understand if you don’t want to write this (especially if you aren’t interested in the idea), but would it be ok for me to request aventurine and a merman/merfolk au? i think it would be interesting to see him attempt (keyword: attempt) to court a human reader, but feel free to change the concept however you like ! thank you in advance, have a great day ā™”
part of your world -aventurine x reader (mermaid/merfolk au!)
synopsis: the cute guy that mysteriously came ashore the beach is really intriguing, isn’t he?
warnings: none, it’s pure fluff! might be ooc though, apologies for that!
word count: 498
author’s note: yes the title was from the song from the little mermaid. no, i don’t have any regrets or better title names. anyway, thank you for requesting, Ruu! please don’t hesitate to come say hello or drop a request in my inbox! no beta, we die like my hopes n’ dreams /lh! would love to hear more from you! hopefully this idea fits (and maybe exceeds) your expectations; hope you enjoy! <3
book n’ dash event
tagging: @cmiru
acquiring human legs after having a mermaid tail all your life is quite the flex. that’s what Aventurine thought anyway. he had just washed up to shore when you came running over to him, in quite the panic.
ā€œoh my gosh, are you okay? where did you come from?ā€ you asked as you approached him. and Aventurine felt like he had come down with an ailment: he couldn’t speak, think, move (not that he tried any of these things). he was just frozen. god you were so pretty, did you know that?
ā€œwashed… up,ā€ Aventurine replies, somewhat stunned at his lack of being able to form words. you nod, seemingly understanding what he said (you didn’t understand) and trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. you don’t want to overwhelm him, either.
ā€œwhere are you from?ā€ you asked after a few minutes of silence.
ā€œthe ocean. why?ā€
ā€œokay… how did you get here, friend?ā€ you asked.
friend… such a safe and comforting word. he knows you didn’t slip the word out intentionally. it was a speaking before thinking moment but you didn’t seem to regret or take back the word.Ā 
ā€œi… don’t know. i’m just… here.ā€ he replies. you nod again.Ā 
ā€œi’m (name), nice to meet you. come with me, I’ll help you get on your feet. two more questions, can you understand what i’m saying? and what's your name?ā€Ā 
ā€œI’m Aventurine, and i can understand you well.ā€
satisfied with his answer, you help him off the sandy beach, giving him a towel you were carrying earlier. you help him wrap it around his waist and start walking to your apartment, not far from the beach luckily. you both make the short trek back to your home and you let him settle in before overwhelming him with more questions and activities for you to do.
ā€œonce you’re comfortable and dressed, we’re going to go to the mall and get you some clothes, okay?ā€Ā 
ā€œsure, thank you.ā€Ā 
And so you were off. you headed to the mall, and got to the clothing store for your new friend. you let him pick out whatever he wanted. but before you both left the store, a small pearl bracelet caught his eye.Ā 
ā€œ(Name), look,ā€ Aventurine points to the bracelet.
ā€œwhat’s wrong?ā€ you ask as you see where his finger’s pointing, ā€œoh, the bracelet? we can get it!ā€ and as the nice clerk gets it out of the display and grabs it for you. you check out and head back to your apartment.
ā€œwhat’s with the interest in the bracelet?ā€ you asked him after he sat down on your couch.
ā€œit’s a sign of loyalty and love in the mermaid language. you’ve also been kind to me.ā€
your breath hitched, and you gulp a bit nervously, ā€œand?ā€Ā 
ā€œand even though we’ve just met, i want you to have it.ā€ he says as he pushes the box to you. you think this cute mermaid-turned human is sticking around for a while longer.
©2025 strawbairicake. do not repost, copy, translate, modify, or use for AI.
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xomintybreezexo Ā· 16 hours ago
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Damian and Jon's Favorite Christmas
(quick question before we get into it, is there a ship name for Dami and Ellie and Ellie and Jon? Cause I know Dami and Jon's ship name is supersons, but what would all three of them be?)
Danny hates Christmas, there's a whole episode in canon about it, but if we're talking about Danny viewing Ellie as his daughter and Ellie viewing Danny as her father, then I feel like not enough people are acknowledging that he would do anything to make her love Christmas, or at least not hate it like he does.
Ellie, for a while, didn't know why Danny hated Christmas so much; she has no knowledge of his life and life experiences unless she's told about them, so this makes sense. After finding out that Danny hated Christmas, by watching his behavior on the days leading up to it, she, like any child, started to imitate his attitude towards it, complaining about the lights and music even when she didn't know why she hated it so much.
Danny recognized this pattern instantly, and he's horrified. He, very quickly, becomes bound and determined to make sure she has great Christmas experiences, even if that means keeping her away from his parents on the day of.
After learning that he was the ghost boy Phantom, his parents, being accepting of him, thank goodness, have become more focused on observing and actually researching ghosts than trying to capture and experiment on them. Telling them about Ellie and how she came to be was nerve-wracking.
(What if they didn't believe that Vlad cloned their kid to try to make the perfect son, and probably most likely take over the world? What if they were convinced she was evil and tricking him, and playing the long con? What would he do then?)
Thankfully, they were fully accepting of her and fully horrified by Vlad, so they started putting massive distance between themselves and him.
Danny doesn't like dredging up the specifics of why he hates the Christmas holiday, but it doesn't matter because this is going to be the best first Christmas of Ellie's not-quite-living life! He, Sam, Tucker, and Jazz were going to make sure of it. But that plan started and ended out of Amity. As much as he loves his parents and knows they're trying to do better, they couldn't even wait until Christmas Eve to start the arguments and fights about all Christmas-related matters, so Sam bought the four of them, the trio and Ellie, a hotel stay for winter break, 2 full weeks off school that they can spend in Gotham City, New Jersey! He's so going to kill it at this parenting thing! Even Jazz agrees that, for his circumstances (whatever that means), he's doing amazing!
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Damian was only mildly appeased because Jon was here. Father and Kent decided it would be good to get out of the house and go out together as a family, which somehow translated to them being at a mall right after opening, when there were the fewest people around, and Batman and the rest of the bats and birds weren't active and mostly unneeded. And, look, it's not that he hates the holidays; he just doesn't understand them beyond familial connection.
(which he still doesn't fully understand, no matter how many ways Father and Pennyworth attempt to explain it to him)
He's long since begun to ignore his family and the Kents, instead pouring his attention into Jon and their surroundings for potential hostiles. A Wayne can never be too careful, especially not in broad daylight.
Instead, all he finds is a cheerful girl his age, maybe a year or two younger (Damian and Jon are thirteen in this, Ellie is twelve like in the show) with three older teens, one of whom must be her older brother; they look strikingly similar. His observing(he is not staring creepily, thank you very much) catches Jon's attention, and the other boy leans over his shoulder to see who it is.
"Whoa...She looks really pretty..." Jon is whispering, probably trying to circumvent his father's less-than-convenient, in this moment at least, super hearing. And Damian does have to agree. She could be considered conventionally attractive. Long, matte black hair in a low ponytail, strikingly bright purple eyes that almost seem to glow, pale skin with rosy cheeks and a wide grin, letting her sharp teeth and elongated canines show, moving her hair to one side and revealing longer, pointed ears. Such things are not typically found in nature, and his first assumption, and the most likely to be correct, is that she's a meta-human, like Duke.
But he doesn't get a chance to ponder that further before she opens her mouth, takes a deep breath, and begins to sing along to the music the mall is playing.
"Santa, tell me if you're really there~ don't make me fall in love again if he won't be next year~"
If he were paying any mind to those she's with, he would have noticed the dark skinned boy with locs falling into his face from under his red beret and the goth girl with black lipstick and purple highlights walking away at the same time. The boy headed to the food court with the girl's card and a reminder to 'not go crazy,' and the girl, giving the other boy he's taken to calling adoption bait(A.B. for short) in his head, a quick peck on the cheek, to a store that famously uses vegan leather.
"Santa, tell me if he really cares~ 'Cause I can't give it all away if he won't be here next year~"
A.B. smiles softly and a little sadly at his younger sister before leaning against the wall behind him, waiting for the other two to return, no doubt. Jon grabs his arm and begins to pull him their direction, somehow without either of their families taking notice.
"Let's go talk to her!" What. Damian Wayne doesn't do talking. What are they even supposed to say?! 'Hey there, random stranger, the two of us who have only been officially dating for about 3 months at this point really like your style, wanna be our third?' She'd think they're crazy!
...Then again, her older brother could be dating those other two teenagers they were with.
Jon doesn't hesitate to join in on the song, either. The girl seems to know the lyrics by heart, so he had to guess it's a favorite of hers.
Good to know.
"Feeling Christmas all around and I'm trying to play it cool~ But it's hard to focus when I see him-" Jon nudges his arm with that stupid, pretty grin on his stupid pretty face, "-Walkin' 'cross the room~"
She turns to them and grins brightly, singing louder now that they are joining in, swaying to the music.
"'Let it Snow' is blasting out, but I won't get in the mood~ I'm avoiding every mistletoe until I know it's true love that he thinks of~" She moves closer to them and is standing on Damian's right, with Jon on his left. They both nudge him, probably wanting him to join the song. He sighs heavily, like it's an annoyance for him, but decides that he will, to impress this girl and ease her into their relationship, hopefully.
Birds sing to attract mates, after all. He doesn't see how this is any different.
"So next Christmas I'm not all alone, boy~" Jon grabs his hand, and the girl leans in closer, her eyes shining with curiosity. Yes, he would sing if it meant she would stay by their sides for even a moment longer. "Santa, tell me if you're really there~ Don't make me fall in love again if he won't be here next year~" Damian hears gasps from behind them, no doubt his siblings and the Kents marvelling at his singing voice. He's only ever sung himself to sleep before, with lullabies he remembers Mother singing to him on worse nights. His voice is soft and melodious, and he's well aware.
"Santa, tell me if he really cares~ 'Cause I can't give it all away if he won't be here next year~" Is this why the film industry is so obsessed with 'Christmas romances'? Jon taught him what love, romantic and platonic love, felt like, but this felt different somehow. Was it because he was here with two people he loved romantically and platonically? He felt like his world had narrowed down to Jon and this new potential partner of theirs, not taking notice of anything else but their bright smiles that made a small one of his own crack on his face.
Even if the girl(he should really ask her name) didn't want to join their relationship, surely they could remain friends, yes?
"I've been down this road before, fell in love on Christmas night~ (ooh, babe)~ But on New Year's Day, I woke up and he wasn't by my side~" Love was a truly strange and wonderous thing, he didn't think it would ever be something he'd experience, believing it to be another weakness to overcome. He never believed what different media and even his own family said about it being one of the most empowering forces to experience, at least, not until he met Jon, and now, after meeting her.
"Now I need someone to hold-" The girl grabbed his arm gently and leaned her head on his shoulder. Another round of gasps broke out when she wasn't immediately shoved away. A sly grin cut her cheeks, and the warmth on his face increased from the sight of it. Jon was still holding his hand, he realized after flexing his fingers. "-Be my fire in the cold~ (yeah, yeah)~"
He finally looked away from the two of them and over at their families. Most of them had their phones out, recording, most likely. He made sure to put on his nastiest scowl, but it was broken when the girl followed his gaze and gave them that same toothy smile. Brown literally squealed with delight, and Grayson looked like he was vibrating in place. West, whom he hadn't realized was here, actually was vibrating in place, with Kori'ander looking immensely pleased. He didn't want to even look at Father or Kent, or Lane for that matter.
"But it's hard to tell if this is just a fling or if it's true love that he thinks of~ (of)~" Even though a part of him wishes to stop singing, mostly to spite Drake and Todd, who look smug and amused, he was having a nice moment and refused to allow them to ruin it. "So next Christmas I'm not all alone, babe~"
This was shaping up to be a good day, if he ignored his meddling family.
"Santa, tell me if you're really there~" He looked to where he hoped the girl's brother still was and found him watching, still leaning against the wall, with a fond smile on his face. They locked eyes for a moment, and his smile grew slightly as he nodded in acknowledgement. "Don't make me fall in love again if he won't be here next year~"
He wondered if he could convince the girl to follow them along on their shopping trip...And if he could find a mistletoe to stand under with her.
"Santa, tell me if he really cares~" Maybe he should write poetry for her? Like he did with Jon? Or create art for her? Like he did with Jon? "'Cause I can't give it all away if he won't be here next year~" But would she like any of that? Maybe he should take to learning an instrument?
She pulled away from them, and he tried to squash his upset, Jon very clearly feeling the same way, if the small frown was indicative. She, instead of leaving, stood in front of them with her hands on her hips and a determined smile.
"Hi! I'm Ellie! I wanted to ask you guys your names, cause I can't keep calling you 'scowley' and 'smiley' in my head." She said it like it was the most relatable thing ever, and maybe it was, how would Damian know one way or the other?
"Damian." He was curt but polite, bowing his head slightly. He left the last name out on purpose. She didn't seem to recognize him, as far as he could tell, and he didn't want to jeopardize their most definitely budding relationship with his status. Status he, typically, flashed in people's faces, specifically so they would leave him alone. "And this is Jon." "Hi, Ellie!" Jon was as excitable as always. Another rare, non sadistic smile from Damian as he watched his girl interact with their potential girlfriend.
"I'm glad you finally told us your name! I also wanted to ask cause I couldn't keep calling you 'pretty girl' in my head!" Ah, apparently it was relatable. Damian, 0, everyone else, 1. Somehow, he's not too upset with that. Not everyone can be Robin, after all.
"Hi there!" Ugh.
Grayson didn't hesitate to lean over him with his signature dumb grin plastered all over his face. Ellie looked up at him curiously. "Damian's big brother here! It's so nice to meet you, Ellie! Where are your parents?" Grayson asked, looking around for anyone who looked like they could fit the bill.
"Right here." Adoption bait said with a polite smile. Ellie grinned up at him, and Damian felt the world stop, figuratively, of course. What is that supposed to mean? How can he be her father when he looks 15? He looks barely three years older than the person he's claiming to be his daughter, and isn't that some concerning imagery?
"You're her father?" That was Drake. He didn't need to see it to know that everyone was looking concerned.
"He's my momma, actually!" Ellie said it with a bright smile, like it wasn't even more concerning. Suddenly, the deep eye bags and almost anemic-looking skin made more sense if he was raising a kid.
"Hi. I'm Danny." He gave a bright smile and a slight wave.
"You're her mother...?" Todd, and he didn't need to see it to know his eyes were turning green. Honestly, he could understand; he was also feeling a little murderous at the thought of a child being forced to take care of another child.
Danny shrugged, like it was no big deal. "I mean, technically." He locked eyes with Ellie as he said it. She nodded sagely. "Cloning can be weird sometimes." He felt the world restart again.
"You're a clone?" Jon asked it, tilting his head like a puppy. Ellie nodded, a bit uncomfortable. Jon grinned widely, gesturing to Conner. "So, is my older brother!" She grinned back.
Ellie, Jon, and Him got to talking all about their interests while her mom/brother/template was being subletely interrogated by Lois Lane and Father. He was happy to learn about Ellie's love of space, travel, and animals.
He thought she was perfect for them, and he was certain Jon agreed. He looked awestruck. She talked about her love of glazed donuts and toasted bagels with strawberry cream cheese. She even mentioned how much she loved her grandma's, her template's mother's, homemade fudge. She went on about how she was learning from her 'Auntie Sam' how to do makeup, even outside of the other girl's traditional goth style. How she was learning to code from her 'Uncle Tucker' and how cool it was to learn to hack into people's stuff. She was simply radiant. And she literally glowed when Damian told her that.
I don't know if i'll add anything else to this, maybe like Sam and Tucker's reactions to Ellie and Danny somehow getting to know the Wayne and Kent families in the 30ish minutes to 1 hour they were gone lol but maybe also how they keep in touch are how they react to Phantom and Phasma and maybe Nightsahde(Sam) and Pharaoh(Tucker) I would love to see what you guys add tho
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iamnmbr3 Ā· 3 days ago
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What are your thoughts on NYC’s primaries?
It makes me really sad. This is what the options are? I think it's a disaster and shows you what a sorry state the Democratic party is in right now. All the options are gross. I don't know why Cuomo's even allowed to be running. But Mamdani has defended the phrase "globalize the intifada" (and also spread misinformation and appropriated Holocaust history to do it) and claimed it's about liberation rather than something used by terrorist organizations (organizations with also oppress Palestinian people in Gaza by the way) to advocate for the destruction of Israel and the mass slaughter of Jews around the world. He could've condemned it at any time but he doubled down.
It's just so normalized now that it's not the big deal that it should be because the same violent words are heard from so many people these days. (Remember when the main goal of most people who cared about the Israel-Palestine conflict used to be to advocate for a peaceful two state solution rather than for genocide?)
If someone with a swastika tattoo defended the phrase "final solution" or tried to say "well lots of people use the word solution in many contexts" everyone would see right through it. But because it's coming from the Left rather than the Right people act like it's a lesser evil. It's not.
Given that Cuomo is such a disaster candidate and that antisemitism is not taken seriously on the left and is increasingly popular among young people - and really among most demographics - and is also fueled by online misinformation I think there's a good chance he will win. And that will probably lead to the further normalization and mainstreaming of antisemitism, especially on the Left, and of toxic "activism" by Westerners who seek to inflame rather than actually solve Middle East crises so they can feel like the main character.
I just hope eventually enough people - especially Gen Z and Millenials - stand up to this. Jews are 0.2% of the world population and 2% of the U.S. population. In 1930s Germany people voted to put the Nazis in power because they liked what they had to say. If antisemitism continues to become normalized in the U.S. and continues it's trend of increasing virulence and violence (we've already progressed from violent words to numerous instances of attempted and actual murder of Jewish diaspora who have nothing to do with the conflict in Israel - and wouldn't deserve to be murdered even if they WERE Israeli) then such a small population simply doesn't have the voting power to stop people electing violent antisemites.
Hopefully nothing as bad as the Holocaust ever comes to pass in the U.S., but remember that Germany was pretty liberal right before the Holocaust. If we keep normalizing people calling for the death of Jews then it will become more and more acceptable and words could someday turn into actions. This is not to say that Mamdani is going to start building concentration camps the second he gets into office. Rather, the reaction to him is representative of a larger issue. I mean, if a person in power did start trying to round up Jews how many people would care or try to stop them? If they can't even speak up against antisemitism when it is still relatively unaccepted, what will happen in the future.
I will certainly keep advocating against antisemitism because I believe in human rights and dignity for all and I believe bigotry is wrong. I just hope enough people join me. The future is up to us.
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thecourtscorkboard Ā· 1 day ago
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A Brief Insight into Miles Edgeworth's Philosophy
Note: Unlike my case reviews, this will not be spoiler-free. Spoilers for Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney in this writeup.
Heya, all! The 3-5 review is coming along, it's just a super long case. I'm working on it, I promise!
In the meantime, let's talk about Miles Edgeworth. Since this is a trilogy blog right now this is obviously going to be talking about his role and thoughts in the trilogy, specifically throughout PW:AA and JfA.
So.
What makes that autopsy report being outdated so special?
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And so a million memes were born...
No, I'm serious. Why is this scene in particular so well-remembered and held in such high regard? This isn't a rhetorical question, take your time to answer.
I think it can really come down to two things here. First and foremost, this is the first time a prosecutor gets a leg up over us. It is the first moment in the entire series where the momentum suddenly shifts away from the defense, and while it's expected and maybe a little formulaic in later cases this one in particular hits the player like a broadside. Compare Edgeworth's performance when he says this to Payne's performance throughout 1-1. It's a massive step up in competency! The prosecution is not just the guy on the other side of the courtroom anymore: with this, Edgeworth becomes an active threat very early. It's also important that this is Mia's autopsy we're talking about: she was our mentor for the first case and now she's just another piece of evidence to be updated.
But it also serves a second reason. Until well into the franchise's lifespan, this was the first time we see Edgeworth performing his dirty tricks: and for a long time the autopsy report was meant to be forged. Hell, Phoenix outright says it in 1-4. The first time we see any of Edgeworth's tricks or skills in court is when he presents a phony piece of evidence to secure a phony conviction. It makes his sudden (although it's not so sudden, but we'll get into that later) turnaround in 1-3 when it comes to nailing Vasquez more impactful, and it makes our defense of him in 1-4 more meaningful: Edgeworth can forge evidence and gun for fake convictions, but he changes over the course of the game. Once he's put in the defendant's seat, he's forced to face phony evidence and phony witnesses himself while his father figure attempts to secure his own phony conviction.
And then 1-5 came along and decided to make this scene a million times better.
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"I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!"
Ace Attorney loves mirrors, both literally and metaphorically. In this case, I'm referring to the latter: a lot of characters mirror each other, especially antagonists and protagonists. One of the most obvious is Phoenix and Kristoph. Both are defense attorneys, both serve as mentor figures to Apollo, they even have the same color scheme: but Kristoph is a narcissistic sociopathic manchild, an attempted triple-murderer, and an active abuser and gaslighter. Phoenix, meanwhile, puts others before himself very often, puts his own life in danger for others, and only ever manipulates criminals into confessing (or witnesses into giving him more information, but hush hush we're not talking about that right now). They're both manipulators, defense attorneys, and mentors, but Kristoph's traits are inherently opposites of Phoenix's: Kristoph is abusive and Phoenix sacrifices his own well-being for others; Kristoph is a murderer and Phoenix brings them to justice; Kristoph places himself above the law and Phoenix knows that the law shapes who he is. They are fundamentally mirrors of each other. The same in many ways, but warped.
I think the same idea applies with Edgeworth and Gant. Gant is intentionally meant to be the logical conclusion of Edgeworth's philosophy by 1-5, that a conviction should be reached by any means necessary. Gant genuinely believes that criminals should be punished and that what he's doing is just for the world. In fact, by the end of 1-5 he's outright praising both Edgeworth and Phoenix. Gant is a believer in criminal justice, but not necessarily the criminal justice system. He takes matter into his own hands to ensure that Darke is convicted for the murders he committed, and he does so by faking another murder with forged evidence and a convenient martyr.
And Edgeworth is disgusted by this. When he learns that he convicted an innocent man (innocent of the murder of Neil Marshall, at least), he is distraught. It's here, in the middle of 1-5, that Edgeworth completely dissociates "Miles Edgeworth" with "Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth", I think: and this dissociation can be summed up in just five words. "Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death."
Is this Edgeworth being a dramatic bitch? Yes. But it also does something so much more: it makes a distinct disconnect from "Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth" and simply "Miles Edgeworth".
Forging evidence was just a line that couldn't be crossed: prosecutors have to do everything within their power to get a guilty verdict. Deliberately creating false evidence to get a desired verdict is unethical because it's not within the purviews and powers of the prosecution, unlike, say, submitting evidence to the court or preparing witnesses. What, you thought witnesses didn't practice their testimony? Early Trilogy Edgeworth is a man of loopholes, not necessarily a man of lies. Franziska does the same thing in 2-2 when she shows the picture of Mia to the judge, but doesn't present it as evidence since it would be illegal (which Phoenix then repeats in 4-1 with making sure Kristoph sees the poker card). If Edgeworth did something explicitly illegal like forging evidence that would make him a criminal, which are the worst kind of people in his mind: especially after he's already mentally separated the demon prosecutor from the child who killed his own father.
Like Damon Gant, Edgeworth is a strict adherent to the law. Unlike Gant, however, Edgeworth doesn't let his ambition cloud his judgement: he does the best he can and seeks the truth in every circumstance, it's just that his idea of "truth" has changed over the years; from "every defendant is guilty" to "every victim deserves justice", I feel. It's the same energy, serving the same purpose, but channeled through different motivations. This is why his turnaround in 1-3 is so impactful: Miles Edgeworth has realized that his idea of the truth, that all defendants are criminals, has been broken not once, but twice now. This is not a fluke anymore. He's been forced to question his own philosophy, and not too long after this case he's in the defendant's seat himself. Would his philosophy and personality have evolved so dramatically without his acting on that initial kernel of doubt in 1-3, that the truth isn't as simple as he wants it to be? I don't know.
So, let's circle back to that original question. Why does the autopsy report being updated matter so much? Well, it's everything I said explained in just one scene. Edgeworth went to lengths to make sure his information was as accurate as possible: that there was no room for doubt when it came to the truth. He did not distort the truth or create his own to do so. Maybe he was a bit of a dick for not telling us about the updated autopsy report, sure, but the truth matters more than courtesy when it comes to the Demon Prosecutor: and, as 2-4 shows, Miles Edgeworth.
Fascinating guy.
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hyunles Ā· 2 days ago
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Casual | H.HJ.
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pairing: hyunjin x fem!reader word count: 669 genre: angst cw: none notes: this is a bit of a vent!fic and it's not really long but i did my best, hope you like it :) as always, english is not my first language, pls consider on giving feedback (in the kindest way possible) taglist and requests are open, feel free to ask! have a nice reading <3
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It started good.
Holding hands, mutual smiles, friendly dates…
Until it wasn't just a friendship.
You two started to grow closer and closer, saying cheesy things to each other, talking and playing until down, cute dates you'll never forget. The I love you's were the best. You always felt butterflies all over your body.
But these days, he's been silent, very quiet for his usual. He just texted at 2 pm asking how was your day and going silent again until midnight. Ignoring your texts but being active on social media.
You noticed all those little things, and they were like little daggers on your heart. You were confused but you thought he was just busy with his job. But no.
One night, he decided to finally text back.
"Can we talk about smth?"
Your heart skipped a beat. Your mind racing with infinite thoughts. What if he wanted a formal relationship with you? What if he didn't? What if he just talked about why he has been so distant lately?
"Sure :)"
You could only text with trembling hands. You were happy because the odds of him telling you that he wanted to take the next step were high.
"I'm going to your house. Give me 5 mins ;)"
Sigh. You were nervous as hell. You tidied up the slight mess there was on your living room —that just implied the wrinkled blanket on your couch and a coffee mug on the table— before he arrived.
As he promised, Hyunjin was at your door 5 minutes later. He had teary eyes and didn't look happy at all.
"Hyune, what happened?" You immediately asked, pulling him inside the house before cupping his face.
But he moved away.
He stepped back, swallowing his tears.
"Look… Let's start for the fact that I really love you. I think I've shared very nice moments with you, and I still have them, but I know that I might have made this situation bigger than it is, and I don't want it anymore."
He sighed quietly after that, scanning for your reaction, hoping you wouldn't feel that bad.
Oh, how wrong he was.
"Hyun?" You mumbled, confused.
He continued, wanting to make this as quick as possible.
"I don't know exactly what your feelings are for me, but I know I can't reciprocate them."
His words stung, hurting like hell.
I can't reciprocate them.
It killed you.
"This… How… Why?" You were speechless, trying not to cry.
"I just don't want you to hurt. I'm not good for you." He didn't say more. He even avoided your gaze on a desperate attempt of feeling better.
"Hyune…"
"Listen to me. I want you to be happy. And I'm not the right person… Not right now." He murmured before opening the door again.
You immediately got nervous, your eyes crystallizing with tears. "No, no Hyunjin, don't do this." You grabbed his arm in a desperate attempt to keep him close.
"Don't make this harder than it already is."
"Hyunjn don't do this. You told me you wanted to marry me, that you loved my cheesy ways, that you didn't know what you'd do without me. We've been like this for almost a year, why did everything change overnight?! What did I do wrong?" You said with broken voice, tears flowing out of your eyes, streaming down your face.
The sight broke his heart, but she moved away again. "Forgive me…" He whispered, walking out with no further explanation.
You froze for a second, and when you finally opened the door, he was already driving away.
You yelled his name hoping he would stop and turn around, but he never did.
You called a million times but he never answered.
You texted a thousand messages but he never replied.
He was serious.
And he didn't explain either. He just let you live in doubt, thinking you weren't good enough for him. He just let you feel like you were a burden or a difficulty.
And you accepted it.
After all, you knew that, if he returned, you'd be there.
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į°.ᐟ Reblogs and likes are very appreciated. If you enjoyed this, please consider them!
Thanks for reading!
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── 2025, hyunles ⋆ No translations, rewrites, or reposts allowed.
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lazilyambitious23 Ā· 3 days ago
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I need to add this as well.
(I’ll treat this like Delano wanted/could have addressed it more but comics, especially back then didn’t allot for the space to do it and the people in charge maybe pushed back so he trusted his readers to think critically about it.)
I’m just really passionate about this stuff as someone who wants to write and wants to use gritty realism but be careful with things dealing with minors.
So my biggest issue is just how unsafe that commune is was for kids/teens.
And sure they are hippies and it’s a different way of life and we can say they didn’t know…..but I also don’t fully buy that. I think it’s an excuse. In this run we see children (Mercury) being treated with an adult lens constantly. (Her age isn’t explicitly stated either form what I remember)
Her mother does not look like a safe adult to me. If mercury was there would she have been expected to participate in that orgy? Would her mother have protected her from that or just assumed that because her daughter is an ā€œold soulā€ (a convenient term used to give minors more responsibility than is developmentally appropriate) she could handle it? Was the environment that they cultivated a space where consent was respected truly? Could someone (minors) say no and not be side eyed and looked at as less enlightened or involved in the commune?
Maybe yes. Right? Maybe it would have been okay. Maybe Marj wouldn’t have let Mercury participate. We don’t know and that’s my point. That’s why I want to discuss this.
Delano went out of his way to state that the boy ā€œcouldn’t have been more than sixteenā€. So he could have been younger. So I’m going to assume this was placed to make us uncomfortable and to start a conversation. That’ll be my takeaway from. Delano was a trailblazer and was attempting to try new things in comics. That’s how I’ll choose to engage with his material from now on. (Because I know my previous comments came off as just fully judgmental and honestly it lowkey was. But writers should be given the benefit of the doubt unless otherwise proven)
And as for John, would he have participated with minors present? Love his character. But I expect more from the man who is traumatized by what he saw in Newcastle (a little girl being actively groomed and hearing from her own mouth the CSA she experienced) would have hated this. But it’s not stated. I’m going to head-canon that he wouldn’t have participated.
(fml totally forgot about Newcastle and Lester. Different discussion if anyone’s interested.)
Again, maybe Delano wanted his readers to do this, think critically and discuss it. Totally valid.
It’s just something that has been making me twitchy to talk about more.
This is the last time I’ll bring up this panel. But I had to get it out!
I’m reading issue #18……I think someone said the comics were a product of their time…..
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Idk im having a hard time with Delano’s run. A lot of serious topics are treated as ā€œedgyā€ and not given the proper thought and respect.
This is my first time truly getting into comics, the media I’ve ingested from DC has always been their animated shows.
I know Delano’s run is like sacred but I don’t know, im having a hard time with it. Ruins the vibe for me.
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somairle-a Ā· 5 months ago
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{peers from the void}
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fortune-maiden Ā· 5 months ago
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Thinking about Shao Yuanyuan and her wildcard potential and it hit me today... just how much does she know? Does she live in a time loop similar to Lu Guang or does she hop in and out of the past like Cheng Xiaoshi? Does she know that Cheng Xiaoshi also has a death node?
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It suddenly occurred to me to that the Shao Yuanyuan we likely saw during the fire in Ep 4, was either a time leaping SYY from the future or at least one who had information from her future self to know to be in Bridon at this point in time and also a Shao Yuanyuan who might have just realized Cheng Xiaoshi had awakened his own powers.
Given her meeting with Cheng Xiaoshi in Ep 6 where she acts like Cheng Xiaoshi should be aware of how this all works, I suspect that it's because the version of Shao Yuanyuan from Ep 4 arranged this meeting because she encountered Cheng Xiaoshi during the fire and thus knew he would show up in Bridon and go searching for them through Wang Qing. She needed to set up that meeting so she could tell Cheng Xiaoshi face to face not to pursue her anymore (and make things more complicated).
I also think that was her second attempt at doing so - the first being to go back years earlier to tell the Qiao family not to let him go to Bridon. But the future refused to change so she found another opportunity to try again.
And based on Lu Guang's comments it sounds like she would have also failed again in the original timeline. It's not clear how her conversation with CXS went last time (if there was one) but at the very least she might not have had time to make CXS promise not to chase after her anymore, and that would have likely sealed his fate. If anything, a sudden interrupted meeting like that might have even encouraged him further.
And this is all coming from a Shao Yuanyuan from an unknown point in the future...
Anyway this is a lot of words to say where in time is Shao Yuanyuan?
And what the heck does the timeline look like from her perspective?
#unlike CXS & (sorta) LG this woman dives with INTENT to change the past#casually flapping her butterfly wings with the force of a hurricane#she is going to give LG even more white hair ^^''#(and also if she's aware that an unknown variable entered the timeline is she noticing changes in the timeline too?)#(or was the outside factor she was thinking of CXS learning to time dive and trying to help rather than another outsider)#link click#link click spoilers#but also something something season 1 operated on closed loops but there was also only 1 time traveller for them#now in Bridon we have two actively working at the same time...#and only when LG & SYY both applied pressure did a new node seem to appear#something something SYY and LG can't save their loved ones alone...#(to make things more twisted what if syy's second attempt was actually the qiaos but that memory is going to now fade out of existence...#(probably not i don't want to make things more complicated for myself ^^'')#(SYY jumping in and out already has the potential to make things crazy complicated because she's not experiencing events linearly)#(something something that burned hand photo is something SYY can use as a marker)#(or CXS showing up anywhere she is is a marker)#(if CXS shows up then she knows her plan will fail...)#(the live action's concept of markers is too cool not to make more use of!)#(something something LG and/or SYY in a time loop to prevent CXS from awakening his powers a la Madoka)#i'm just rambling now sorry#link click ramblings#(syy may not be winning best mom awards but she is quickly winning me over in the most interesting supporting character category)#(LADY TELL ME ALL YOUR SECRETS!)
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whentherewerebicycles Ā· 6 months ago
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this might be nuts but I think my sister & I might try to do a trip abroad with the baby next fall
#I took on a couple extra last minute students#and suddenly I have enough money to like. maybe plan a fun trip#here is my secret dream: instead of giving lots of Christmas gifts#i kind of want to have a tradition of giving a small gift or two#but then having our big joint gift be a trip#which we would ideally take in the spring/summer#and as he gets older we can read books and watch movies about the place we’re going#and then when he’s a bit older he can help plan the trip#like help pick out where we stay and what activities we do#anyway#in college and grad school I got to travel internationally almost every year#even though I was making almost no money#but then I stopped for a long time (pandemic + after)#and I just sort of forgot that like#nobody gives you permission to travel#you just have to choose to prioritize it and save for it and plan it yourself#so idk šŸ¤·ļæ½ļæ½ā™€ļø#I also think that like#it could be a nightmare traveling with a small child! but also alternately#it could be a great way to get him used to it early#and also my favorite activities while traveling are always just like#wandering around a new place#and spending time getting to know it#rather than racing from place to place#so that seems like a type of travel that could be possible with a kid#and anyway idk! like any high difficulty parenting challenge#i bet even just attempting it will feel pretty great#even if things don’t go to plan#anyway we are currently considering 3 options: Netherlands or Slovenia or Nice
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spinchip Ā· 3 days ago
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one-five love their big baby brother. they adore him. I would love to hear your thoughts on potential angst... but i think they progress so rapidly that surpassing him doesn't feel like a huge change in status, yknow? Zero is a toddler when theyre babies, and hes still a toddler when theyre adults a few weeks/months later. you are absolutely correct in your second chariterization where one-five are essentially like "I love my older brother" and then they hold up a baby.
i've talked about them a teeny bit before but basically
Zero: Zane
One: nonbinary and extremely quiet, rarely talks. Theres a running joke that they are in on that they're the 'evil sibling.' they love to play cards- dont play with them tho because they cheat and they do it so well you won't know it until they've taken all your money. card counter extraordinaire. they cheat at all games ever actually. sneaky...
Two: valley girl/legally blonde esque, smart as a whip but seems very shallow or surface level. She loves movies, comic books, video games, etc. and knows tons of lore on all games. gets super competitive when playing games especially against One. Showed strong mothering tendencies, and expressed a desire to have a more active role in Zeros growth.
Three: chill, calm, and cusses more than the others. He loves nature and was quite adventurous, always looking forward to days where they left the facility to test their bodies in the woods. he was looking forward to gaining a body and seeing the world outside pictures on a screen. he's probably the most protective, and was quick to put a stop to something if it seemed like the engineers were pushing one of his siblings too hard.
Four: Pretentious! The sibling with the largest database, four has expansive knowledge on everything stored in his hard drive and constantly runs algorithms and calculations. He spent his free time attempting to solve great unsolved math problems, and believed he was getting close to a break through before his death. absolutely acts like a pompous asshole but loves his siblings and values them all the same. he's the easiest to tease because he gets flustered fast. uses he/him pronouns but not really concerned with gender
Five: A very serious, thorough person. She wants to do her job and she wants to do it well, and spends much of her time learning how to protect and help people. she regrets the time she didn’t spend with her siblings that she cannot make up for. dealt with her trauma by leaning into her prime directive and going after all ems regardless of crimes or lack thereof... she was never as close to her siblings as she could have been.
Four: I have made 250 complex algorithms blah blah blah impressive super computer stuff blah blah Zero: And I drew :] a picture of a car ! Three: fuck it upppp zero. Two: go off king One: We really do love to see it.
Can we get more info on Five? If she can steal several elemental powers why can't Zane? (Or is it smth that has to be done intentionally in which case what happened with the previous Ice em?).And how does she feel about Zane being titanium?
i would love to talk about five!
If she can steal several elemental powers why can't Zane?
well, he could. He absolutely had the ability, he just didn't know he was able to, and had no idea how to do it. The only reason Five can absorb elemental abilities is because the housing of her power source is made from Chronosteel, and her actual literal power source contains traces of a synthetic version of the blue crystals found in the caves under chens island (Which is what allows her to take more than one element at a time)
Zane had the same powersource! They were made in the same facility by the same people with the same materials (granted, when Dr.J smuggled Zane out of the compound he had to leave behind a lot of his original parts. his powersource was one of the few things he made certain to take.) I like to think the whole reason Zane didn't instantly disintegrate when he touched the golden armor at the end of s3 is because of the chronosteel in his core. it didn't save him, but it bought him a few seconds of extra time.
is it something that has to be done intentionally?
yes, it has to be done intentionally! and it's not really an intuitive thing. All of the original Six had to be trained to steal elements- it's honestly kind of lucky that Five can actually do it. She never had real field practice. it involves prolonged skin contact and a whole lot of focus. Zane was never trained how, and even if he was he has no memories of his five siblings or the facility he was originally created in.
what happened with the previous Ice em?
PrevIceEM gave Zane ice. It was purely a gift. Zane absolutely did not steal it. When any of the original six androids steal an element, it does not actually belong to them. Just like when chens staff was destroyed and the elements returned to their original owners, when Zanes core was destroyed in s3 he would not have gotten it back when he rebuilt his body if it was stolen. Even if he stole it and the PrevIceEM died and the element had no master to return to, it would have simply chosen a new host instead of returning to someone that took it by force. (The elements aren't really sentient, but they do have some sort of abstract consciousness, and they really don't like being snatched from their host.)
how does she feel about Zane being titanium?
it doesn't really phase her all that much. She's titanium, too, under her synthetic skin. She probably knew Zane back before he ever had synthetic skin. He was actually the slowest of the six original androids development-wise (He aged like a human, while the others aged extremely rapidly. he was still essentially a baby while they were all going into adulthood.) so he wasn't being fitted with skin yet when she knew him.
thank you so much for the asks!! If you have any other questions i'd love to answer them! I really enjoy chatting about my ocs so dont hesitate to ask :]
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creativity-deficient Ā· 11 months ago
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Soooo what are y’all’s hcs on the Tweak family šŸ¤”šŸ¤”šŸ¤”
#lowkey I like to hc it as a generational trauma type of thing for Mr Tweak#I feel like Richard was a LOT like Tweek when he was little#very anxious and unsure of himself#he mentions in the gnomes episode I believe that his business has been going on 30 years#and was passed down to him by his father by his father before him#growing up I think that he too was given a lot of this coffee by his father#and over the years he was conditioned and manipulated into accepting this as the norm#in hopes that he would one day take over the business#when he was finally old enough his father shared the family recipe with him and at that point he had pretty much been brainwashed#I think he sees a lot of his younger self in tweek which is why he’s so condescending towards him and so determined to steer him down the#same path. Repeating the cycle and all that#and when Tweek is old enough he plans on sharing the family’s secret as his father did with him#MRS Tweak on the other hand is an interesting one#we know so little about her but I feel like her personality also says a lot about her#she’s definitely better than Mr Tweak but she’s still very complacent and neglectful#I think what stands out to me the most about her though is the way her personality can completely switch up at times#most of the time she has this eerily calm almost docile personality#but other times she’s a LOT more attentive and caring#yk like a normal mom#COMPLETELY different from how she usually acts#but the episode that gets me the most is ā€œGnomes#where she actively goes against Richard’s attempt to manipulate the kids and use them for business ventures#yet this is the same mom that actively poisons her son? presumably for the business??#like it doesn’t make sense to me#I’ve seen someone suggest that Richard has been drugging her too#and BOY would that be a twist#definitely would explain the sudden shift in personality#i definitely think it would be interesting if she was in the dark about a lot of this too#not using this as an excuse as I still do think she is SOMEWHAT negligent on her own but I do think it could explain some things#south park
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haarute Ā· 2 months ago
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it's amazing how almost all of my friendships (and by almost all i mean Every save like three) are ruined by my own self essentially swerving into a wall and crashing on purpose due to my inability to believe my company could ever be even slightly desirable to anyone and i'd rather just burn it all and die than see myself as someone who intrudes and abuses people's kindness out of my own selfish desire to want companionship.
#i was going to post something similar the other night but i fell asleep instead#but i was thinking about how truly all cases for me boil down to#>i talk with someone and we have a great time >they express a level of joy in interaction >i get weirdly attached too quickly#>i am comfortable enough to openly be myself which inevitably ends on a weird interaction >i talk too much and am too clingy#>i convince myself that that was actually awful and annoying and not something anybody wanted to hear#>i decide to leave and never be seen again because i don't want to be hated more than i already am in my head#>i am miserable because i really wanted to keep talking to that person#i just had a random two day-long chat with someone who messaged me and we had a good time talking about chainsaw man#and it truly took not much time for me to start going off about other shit until i noticed replies got so much shorter and alienated#and i just stopped altogether. because yeah man you're not here for this and you're probably too polite to tell me to go fuck myself so#i'll just do it for you.#and I KNOW that that's a me problem.#I KNOW that that's my own brain convincing itself that i am worse than i actually am in the eyes of others#and i am AWARE of how unfair that is to anyone else. it speaks to a clear lack of trust that is also my fault#but there's also a reality that i'm just. Not someone that people are particularly Excited to talk to#and i feel like i've wanted nothing more than that ever since i lost it when i was 15 years old#i am Tolerable at usual and a Cartoon Clown at best. and none of those serve as particularly deep connections.#and i know that that's once again a me problem. and i shouldn't ever place that expectation on anyone. that is not fair. and i try not to.#but like. is it bad for me to want that to begin with?#should i just abandon the idea altogether and accept that yeah i am just destined to be a crazy hermit murmuring ramblings by themselves#is that the Morally correct thing to do? to just be alone? that's for sure what it feels like to me#that yeah that's what my life is always going to be. no joy in connection or sharing. just an endless stream of thoughts by myself.#that way at least my life won't get in the way of anyone else's lives.#and like. i am always hoping that someone would make a deliberate attempt to reach out to me even if i'm hell bent on isolating myself.#because that would be a proof that someone cares enough you know? that I Am an active choice that someone makes.#but that never comes. and that's not something that would be fair for me to expect or ask for either. would it?#might as well hope for a unicorn while i'm at it.
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roguelioness Ā· 4 months ago
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