#of like. insecurity. and just. feeling useless.
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mdni, angst, toji x reader
It was one of those quiet evenings you loved so dearly. The rain beat down gently against the windows, the TV created a low hum in the background, and your older boyfriend was on the couch. A cold can of beer you had so kindly fetched him lay crumpled on the ground, the remainder of its contents dripping onto your newly-purchased rug.Â
There was no indication that he saw. Or maybe he did. Maybe he just didn't care.Â
But it was okay, right? Heâs your boyfriend. Sure, he was a little grimy. He didnât have a stable job, nor did he provide you with emotional safety and securityâ something a man of his age should have been able to give. You also argued often, frustrated with the way he never answered your calls. Nor did he ever communicate properly, causing bouts of insecurity and self-doubt to bubble up deep within you until you cried. Only then would Toji attempt to soothe your emotions with half-hearted apologies.Â
The sex was good, at least. Thatâs probably why you stayed. Toji knew how to touch you right, not at all like those useless scrubs you used to hang out with. The ones he saved you from, in his words. Under his hulking body, you could forget about all of those empty nights in your bed, the constant missed calls, and especially the way he never truly looked at you. Not unless he wanted to empty a load inside of you.Â
But back to the present.
You sat quietly beside himâ as if you were his shadow, waiting to be spoken to and never speaking first. His legs were spread wide whereas yours were tucked neatly underneath you.Â
Perhaps⊠you should break the silence tonight. See where it led you.Â
âDo you believe in soulmates, âji?â You murmured in a manner far too sweet than what your boyfriend deserved. He didnât even look your way when you spoke, merely grunting lowly in response.Â
A shrug.Â
âYeah, I guess,â he muttered after a brief beat of silence. âThink I already met mine."
You blinked, a warm feeling beginning to form deep within you. Oh, how your heart soared. You beamed at him, leaning forward until your hand brushed against a bulky knee. He scratched at his softening stomach dismissively.Â
He thought of you as his soulmate?Â
You were about to respondâ lips already parting, heart fluttering, until Toji interrupted in that careless voice of his.Â
âShe died, though.â
And your smile disappeared, before it could fully bloom like the flowers resting on his dear wife's grave.Â
âOh. Right,â you murmured, daring to let out a strained laugh. âSorry.â
You should have known better.Â
Toji chuckled, like he didnât take you seriously. Thatâs when a rushed mumble of âI love youâ spilled from your lips, thinking that itâd fix things. What else could you do?Â
He patted your knee, as if you were some sort of mutt bringing him back a stick after a round of fetch. There was no reassurance in his touch, no comfort. It felt cold.
âDonât worry your pretty âlil head about it,â was all he said before getting up and heading off to grab himself another beer.Â
Your face burned terribly, body prickling with embarrassment. The can on the floor caught your attention once more, your eyes fixed on the way it still soaked the rug below. Your breathing was shallow as you listened to his heavy footsteps walk further away from you.
Too far.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fic#jjk au#angst#jjk angst#toji x gn!reader#toji x reader#toji angst#jjk x reader#jjk x gn!reader#jujutsu kaisen angst#bluukive
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You know, I have said it before and I will say it again that itâs fine to ship whoever you want. But itâs one thing to explain why the ship you prefer is better suited as endgame in your eyes. And itâs another thing to insist that itâs undeniably the one that ends up happening, especially when there isnât even any real canon evidence to indicate that.
I understand that weâre all growing very impatient and the lack of news has left a lot of room for interpretation, but we canât just give in to the chaos and refuse to accept whatâs actually written in the books.
Itâs an objective statement that Elain and Azriel have had multiple moments that do align with what would be considered romantic tension. Itâs a fact that they have been written to enjoy being near each other. Itâs a fact that the two of them are often mentioned to be looking at each other. Itâs a fact that we are told Elain seeks him out for peace. Itâs a fact that we are told Azriel looks at the gift she got him every night before sleep. Itâs a fact that he has a secret that is his to tell and it is his feelings for her. Itâs a fact that he believes she belongs with him and that the cauldron was wrong. Itâs a fact that she would have kissed him if they hadnât been interrupted. Itâs a fact that she finds his biggest insecurity beautiful. Itâs a fact that the foundation for them has been laid for a long time now.
Does this mean that everyone has to like them? NO! Does it mean that theyâre more likely to happen? Yes.
Itâs as simple as that. Thereâs no reason for there to be this much animosity, insensitivity, toxicity and hatred amongst us. The books are already written the way they are and itâs nobodyâs fault that the author decided to set things up the way she did. Itâs fair for people to like a ship that the story sets up, just like itâs fair for others to like ships that the story doesnât set up. But they are two different things and itâs useless to try and deny that.
#pro elriel#elriel#elain x azriel#azriel x elain#pro elain#pro azriel#pro elain archeron#azriel and elain#elain and azriel#elain acotar#azriel acotar
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I need to tell you that I kind of need John teaching Bob how to properly tie a tie and said tie ending up being used shibari style later in the night, but I'm not sure if it's more appealing if John is the one tied up or Bob. I mean, it'd be fucking hilarious if Bob didn't know how to tie a tie but was perfectly capable of improvising handcuffs with a tie. But also I think that Bob is way more kinky in part bc it's a surefire way to quiet down your brain if you're neurodivergent (at least for me).
Hear me out
This all started bc I thought that John doesn't have a hair trigger temper. He's insecure about certain topics and a bit too obsessed with how people perceive him. When he feels attacked, he lashes out. When he gets angry-- well, it's not always justified but it's understable from his pov. Like, there's a whole process for him to get fully angry.
Specially, he tries to keep his temper in check around Bob. Understably, bc he's deadly afraid of ending up like Bob's dad; but also bc Bob is really genuine, and also very sweet. John is fascinated and a bit envious and would feel like shit if he made Bob look like a kicked pup.
And also, he understands very well performance anxiety, so when he tries to teach something to Bob and the other gets so much into his head that he fumbles it, John doesn't get angry. He's patient with the guy, never minds repeating instructions and demonstrating him whatever. Even if sometimes it feels like Bob isn't paying attention, and god, is the other aware that you can pretty much see his thoughts all plastered all over his face? It's kind of cute, uh, funny!
John's approach does things to Bob. He feels really stupid for coming back and back again to ask John for some explanation but he is really patient with him, even if yelena doesn't believe him when he tells her that, and also he's honest to God the member of the team with the most 'normal' backstory, so he's able to help with uh. Civilian stuff
But also. Bob's kinda into this. A little, tiny bit bc of daddy issues. It's just-- really soothing, in a sense? He doesn't feel irredemably useless. And John looks nice, kinda, sorta, when Bob gets something right? He looks so proud of him. It's kinda addictive to be looked at like that.
But this whole thing is dumb. He knows it's dumb. Bob knows John is not one of those older guys who gave him money for his drugs in exchange for a blowjob here and there and a night in some shitty hotel. John is doing this bc he's genuinely his friend, regardless if Bob kind of feels as if he's getting cared for/seduced and as if John should expect something in return.
And then I started picturing John having to explain twice how to tie the tie bc Bob's eyes keep dropping to his lips and then giving up altogether the moment he realises and getting closer to give a hands on demonstration. Except that he sees Bob gulp and feels him freezing like he does every time John touches him and--
Was Ava right? Is Bob into him? He's definitely staring at his lips.
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hii !! would you mind writing headcanons on how obey me chars would react to finding out that reader self harms? Feel free to ignore this request if you arent comfortable enough to write it !! Have a lovely day or night <3
I just want to start by saying thank you so much for the request and being respectful! I personally don't feel comfortable discussing topics relating to self-harm specifically due to personal reasons, but I didn't want to ignore this ask because I know how comforting reading fics/hcs like this can be when you're struggling because I've been there. So, I hope you don't mind too much, but I kind of reframed it to be about how the characters would help a reader who's struggling in general. I'm also sorry this took so long to get out. I've been so exhausted from work recently, but I finally had the time to sit down and write today. I hope you enjoy!
The Obey Me Characters with a Struggling Reader
Pairings: main cast x reader (separate)
Warnings: discussions surrounding mental illness; mentions of anxiety, depression, insecurity, difficulty eating, and sleeplessness; romantic undertones in most parts; nothing particularly extreme

Lucifer is an extremely supportive demon all the way around. He's also extremely observant, so chances are that he realized you were having a rough go of things long before you did.
He never explicitly brings it up, but he's always there. He never lets you struggle on your own, even when his own schedule demands too much out of him.
He'll always help with classwork, paperwork, student council assignments, and anything else he can.
Is your assigned dinner duty too stressful for you? He'll do all the prep work for you. Is starting your essay too daunting for you? Books on the subject your studying suddenly appear on your desk when you return to your bedroom. You're struggling to take care of yourself? Lucifer just happened to book you a spa day at the Devildom's most luxurious spa. Just as a reward.
He won't usually directly bring anything up. He knows how much mental struggles can wound a person's pride. He's always there for you, though. His support is more quiet than most, and he never asks for a reward. Seeing you get through the day, safe and healthy is all he could ask for.
You can't help the way your world seems to crash down around you when Lucifer kindly informs you that you've completely missed the due date for your paperwork. You try your best to keep up with all of your assignments, your student council work, and being tugged in twenty different directions by the demons, angel, and enigmatic sorcerer in your life. Missed calls, ill-timed remarks, and fumbled assignments have all been pressurizing inside you for the past few months, and you crumple down into the chair in front of Lucifer's desk. You don't know if you're more embarrassed to be crying in front of him or that you're crying at all.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid. God, I'm such an idiot," you mumble to yourself. You're absolutely certain that Lucifer is internally jeering at you and wondering how he could have picked such a useless human.
All you're met with, though, is the warm smell of his cologne and the comforting weight of his arms around you as he leans down to hug you.
"You're not an idiot, lamb. Making one error doesn't make you stupid," he soothes. His large hand rubs up and down your back slowly. He lifts you up into his arms and settles the both of you down into his large desk chair. You spend the night cradled in his arms as he helps you finish the overdue paperwork.
Mammon is a bit of an oblivious demon. He's not stupid by any means, he's just not the most observant when it comes to stuff you try to keep hidden from him.
He won't really recognize that you're struggling unless you tell him or he exacerbates the issue. Of course, that frequently comes in the form of his teasing. Most days, you can just brush it off, but it's hard to move past when you're feeling particularly insecure.
He'll be so apologetic once he realizes he hurt your feelings or has somehow managed to inconvenience you when you're already stressed out.
Mammon is a true believer in the idea that laughter is the best medicine. He'll always be on the lookout for ways to brighten your day. He's not above making a fool of himself to get you to smile, either.
He's also fully willing to embarrass himself by getting all sappy and mushy and heaping a bunch of praise onto you. Anything for his treasure, after all.
"Nah, of course you don't get it. You're just a dumb human."
Mammon's words are meant playfully, but sometimes you forget that. The demon has a habit of exhausting your tolerance for being teased. Most days, you're able to grin and bear it, silently reminding yourself that Mammon truly does love you and doesn't mean what he's saying.
Today is not one of those days. Even Mammon can see the way your smile threatens to wobble off your face and the way a subtle shimmer pools in your waterline. His cockiness instantly slides away, and he almost looks like he's about to start crying himself.
"Treasure, no, wait--dammit!" Mammon practically launches himself at you in his haste to hold you in his arms. He tucks you against his chest and squeezes you tightly. "I didn't mean that! You're not dumb! You're the only human worthy enough to be the Great Mammon's companion! That automatically means you're, like, stupidly smart!"
It's enough to make you laugh, and relief courses through Mammon like a wave. He might not be the most tactful, but he'll always bring joy to your day.
Honestly, the only time Levi ever promotes healthy coping mechanisms is for you. He's a mess himself and can't take his own advice, but he'll absolutely push himself out of his comfort zone if it means making his Henry feel better.
Yes, he'll let you hide in his room and wallow. He'll let you tuck yourself away in a pile of plushies if the only way you can fall asleep is with the soothing lights of his aquarium tanks brushing your skin. He'll even set up a special game of DND full of your favorite things just to get you distracted and happy.
Of course, you can't just coast or exist exclusively off distractions for the rest of your life. When you need to talk before everything inside you explodes, he'll silently turn off the lights, sit in one end of his bathtub, and invite you to sit in the other end. There's no pressure and no judgment from Levi. He gets it.
He's not always the best at advice or constructive criticism, but he's always there to listen and provide much needed distractions.
It's another one of those nights. The lights are dim, you're quiet, and Levi is trying his best to not stare at you. He knows you can feel it even when the lights are off. You're both sitting in the tub with your knees against your chest.
He suddenly feels the brush of your fingers against the tip of his tail, and he has to physically stop himself from running away at the contact. He doesn't mind it, not really. He's just not used to the idea that you don't find him gross.
"It's just...been a lot recently," you whisper, your words mixing with the bubbling coming from the fish tanks. "I just feel like I can't live up to anything anyone here expects me to be."
Levi doesn't usually talk on nights like these. He doesn't want to interrupt you, but he just can't keep his mouth shut at that.
"None of us expect you to be anything. I mean, you've already done way more for all of us than anyone else ever has. We just, like...like you a lot," Levi mumbles.
You chew on your bottom lip, and your fingers keep flicking over the end of Levi's tail. These nights always leave a hollow feeling in your chest, but you know your thoughts and feelings are safe in the dark and in the heart of your otaku with a heart of gold.
Satan really, really gets it. He's dealt with his anger for literally all his life. He knows how overwhelming dealing with mental issues can be. He knows how hard it is to overcome your own mind.
He really wants to be your prince charming, in just about anyway he can. He's gentle, understanding, and always patient with you. He never rushes you, and he never judges you.
He loves a self-help book, unironically. He won't be condescending about it or anything. All of his recommendations are always from a place of "I've tried this, and it really helped me. I hope it can help you in some way, too."
He'll help pick up any slack, too. He's always available to help with schoolwork, studying, or exam prep. He'll go slow with you and make sure you understand what you're learning, too. And on the days when you really need it? Yeah, he'll slip you a copy of his homework answers, but only for you.
He's also always there to sweep you off your feet. He'll take you on walks in the most gorgeous forest you've ever seen, you'll visit the most beautiful lakes or mountains--just anywhere Satan thinks you'll find beautiful. He loves seeing you eyes light up when it's just the two of you.
The words on the pages in front of you have been blurring together into incomprehensible nonsense for the past five pages. You keep trying to push through, but you can't make heads or tails of anything, especially since you could barely understand the base concept this chapter is building on anyway.
Tears prick your eyes, and your head droops forward. Satan, as perceptive as ever, is quick to propose a break.
"We've been at it for a while, yeah? Let's relax for a bit," he murmurs. His voice is soothing to your frayed nerves, but his fingers work the real magic as he begins rubbing your scalp. "Do you need anything? Water? A snack? A blanket?"
You respond with a simple shake of your head, content in the moment. His fingers withdraw after a while, and he sits down next to you.
"Now...what exactly are you having trouble with?"
Asmo feels insecure more often than he'd ever admit to himself. He's more of a "fake it til you make it" kind of demon, though, so you'll rarely ever know he's down. It's a bit weird, but it really does work for him.
He sees the beauty in most things, and he'll help you see it, too. Especially when it comes to yourself. You've completely bewitched the Avatar of Lust! Of course you're absolutely gorgeous, and he won't stop adoring you until you see yourself the way he does.
Do I even need to say that he's huge on self-care days? He'll literally lock the both of you up in his bedroom and bathroom, and you'll spend the day doing each other's nails, practicing makeup, doing face masks, doing affirmations, meditating, and trying out different herbal tea blends.
He's incredibly loving, and seeing you hurt hurts him. He's always going to go out of his way to lift you up and make sure you shine just as much as he does.
Sometimes, it's hard not to compare yourself to Asmo. He's just so blindingly beautiful, not to mention how stunning all the demons that surround him are. It's hard not to feel inadequate. You're just a normal human, after all. Some of these succubi were literally crafted just to be gorgeous.
Asmo doesn't see it like that, though. No, you have one of the most gorgeous essences he's ever seen. It goes so much deeper than your appearance, but, even then, it radiates out of your skin like sunlight to Asmo. No one has ever made him feel as seen, loved, or appreciated as you do, and he longs to return that feeling to you.
One too many dejected glances in his direction in public led to Asmo throwing a spa day for the two of you. The rest of his brothers were locked out of his room and banned for the day. This is all for you.
"I got you a new hair oil to try since you were complaining about it being too frizzy the other day, hon! It's lightweight but still nourishing, so it should be just the thing," Asmo explains as he runs his fingers through your hair. He lets out a quiet sigh. "I just love your hair. It's so perfect on you."
Asmo leans forward and rests his chin on your shoulder, lightly pressing his cheek to yours.
"Look at us! Aww...we're so adorable together! It should be criminal."
A smile tugs at your lips, and you can't fight the laugh that bubbles past your lips.
"Yeah, we are, Asmo."
Beel's another one who's more of a silent supporter. He wants nothing more than for you to feel safe and secure. He's not the most eloquent or expressive demon, but there's never any doubt about how he feels around you and how he wants you to feel.
If you're having a hard time eating, he'll help pick out recipes that sound appealing. He'll even make it for you himself! This is the one time he'd be able to restrain himself from eating all the ingredients. He'd also be super helpful on finding easy, nutritious, and yummy snacks to make if you're struggling with effort. He's also not above influencing you a little to make you more hungry.
He's also someone you can count on to get you moving. Whether it's just stretching, a walk, or a genuine workout, Beel will make sure you get some kind of activity in. He really does believe that getting your blood flowing is a great way to burn off negative feelings and to work up a bit of hunger.
He'll drop everything he's doing just to hold you, too. He's used to carrying Belphie everywhere, and he's happy to do that for you, too. Anything you need from him, he'd happily give you.
Beel's large hand holds yours loosely as you take a walk downtown. He finally managed to coax you out of your room, and he's practically been begging to get you to go to Hell's Kitchen with him. And, really, how could you ever deny him when he turns on his unintentional puppy eyes?
Of course, Beel has a big smile on his face. He's happy to see you out and about again. You haven't told him exactly what's been going on in your head, but he knows something's been weighing on you recently. He doesn't try to pry the information from you, nor is he pressuring you into talking to him. He's a gentle giant, after all.
"I'm really happy you're here with me, MC. I missed eating with you," Beel says once you're finally seated at the restaurant.
Something in your chest clenches, and you reach out to take both of Beel's hands.
"I'm glad I'm here with you, too, Beel."
Well, I think we all know Belphie's solution to most things. He's going to get you to try and sleep it off. Of course, he'll also be all snuggled into your side as he coaxes you to sleep.
Yes, he's a brat, but he'll be surprisingly tender with you if you show him how vulnerable you're feeling. He'll hold you tighter than usual, give you the best dreams ever, and he'll even let you use his special pillow.
He'll be particularly clingy if you tell him you haven't been sleeping well. That just won't do at all. Don't worry, though. Belphie can put you fast asleep in no time at all.
Of course, he'll also drag you down the planetarium to talk. He'll set up a soft blanket and then you'll just lie side by side as he slowly coaxes what's been going on with you out of your head.
He's a really good listener, despite the sleepiness. He'll always listen to whatever it is that you have to say. He knows what it's like to have his voice ignored, and he doesn't want the same for you.
When a knock at the attic door wakes Belphegor up, he's about ready to start swinging indiscriminately. That is until he sees you. You look pretty pathetic, honestly. You're wearing your pajamas, and you've got a throw blanket in your hand that's trailing behind you sadly like you're some kind of cartoon kid.
Belphie tilts his head to the side and looks at you expectantly.
"I can't sleep," you mutter, slightly embarrassed.
"Typical human. Come here," Belphie yawns as he pats the space next to him.
You slowly pad over to him and curl up against his side. He slips his pillow under your head, and his tail as well as one of his arms wraps around you. You're instantly soothed, and you can already feel sleep creeping in on the edges of your consciousness.
"G'night, Belph," you whisper as your eyes slip shut.
"Goodnight," Belphie whispers back, content to fight off bad dreams for the rest of the night.
Honestly, Diavolo won't really get it until you explain it to him fully. He's been sad before, and he's absolutely experienced negative emotions, but chronic anxiety? Yeah, he doesn't really have anything to be anxious about. There are some perks to being the strongest, wealthiest being in the entire Devildom. He's also not the kind of person to get down very often, so you do have to sit him down and explain your experiences and your point of view to him.
After that, he'll be extremely conscientious of your feelings. The last thing he ever wants to do is hurt you or add to your stress. The second he hears about teachers giving you too much work or demons making negative comments toward you, he's on the case. He's very protective of his exchange students! That's his official excuse anyway
Diavolo's honestly like a walking ray of sunshine most of the time, and it's hard not to feel energized in his presence. He's silly, loving, and pretty joyful overall, not to mention his positivity. It's easy to feel more relaxed and forget about your troubles in his presence.
Regardless, he'd do anything in his power for you. He'd build you your own luxury retreat in a cozy spot in the Devildom just for you to escape to. He's got unlimited resources, and he'll put them to use for you! Just say the word.
"I'm sorry, Dia, I just--I couldn't stay in there any longer. They all just stare at me, and I can't take it. It's--" Diavolo gently interrupts your rambling by placing a warm hand on your shoulder.
"It's no trouble at all," he says warmly. "In truth, I'd much rather spend the night exclusively with you. You make much better company than the nobles..."
A bit of warmth blooms in your chest, and you duck your head.
"I don't think that's a very hard standard to beat."
Diavolo's laughter warms you further, and he rubs your arm tenderly.
"No, dear. No, it's not. I'm certain Lucifer will be able to cover for me. Now, why don't we get into something more comfortable and sit by the fire, hmm?"
Barbatos is a very pragmatic individual. He very rarely feels anxious due to the fact that he kinda knows every possible future. That being said, he's still extremely sympathetic toward your feelings because he knows how things can go wrong, even if they won't actually go wrong.
He'll give you reassurance and comfort, but he won't let you wallow. He has too much respect for you to let you spiral. He's like a lifeguard, always keeping your head above water in that sense.
He'll craft a special magical blend of tea just for you to soothe you. Drinking it puts you at ease and gives you an almost serene feeling.
He's someone who'll go mother hen mode on you. It can feel a bit overwhelming having someone always checking in on you, but he just wants to make sure that you're taking care of yourself.
He won't always be able to be there for you physically, but he'll leave little good luck charms and positive energy attractors as little gifts. Of course, you won't know their true nature, but Barbatos prefers it that way.
I was just thinking of you, MC. Are you perhaps free tomorrow? I'd like you to come to the castle to sample the potential dessert menu for Lord Diavolo's party.
You stare down at your DDD as the text from Barbatos rolls in. The light from your screen is the only light available in your dark bedroom, and you squint. You can't honestly remember the last time you left the House of Lamentation, despite requests from the brothers for your company.
You sigh. Barbatos is never bad company...
Yeah, I can come by tomorrow. Is 1:00 good?
Of course. I will await your arrival with baited breath.
Barbatos sets his DDD down on the kitchen counter. Lord Diavolo's party isn't happening for another two months, but you don't need to know that. He'd gladly spend the rest of his day baking if it meant getting you back by his side.
Solomon might seem like he might not be the best person to talk to, but he's still a human. He may not worry about dying anymore, but his nervous system is still wired just the same as yours is. He understands the way your emotions work better than anyone else in the cast, really, since he's the only one who can directly understand the bodily experiences associated with them.
He can't cook for you, but he's always willing to get some sweet treats and have a chill day doing nothing.
On the flip side, he's also down to drag you out of the house to force you to get some external stimulation. He's very big on getting out and touching grass. He'll be especially keen on private trips up to the human world, so you can feel the actual sun on your skin and touch flowers without worrying about them giving you a rash.
He's more than willing to be your cheerleader on the sidelines. He'll always be your number one believer. As a mentor, a friend, or a partner, he's always got your back.
Your eyes watch the way Solomon's deft fingers move while crafting a spell. It's a relatively simple spell--you're just changing the shape of a wine glass to a champagne flute--but you can't seem to get it down for some reason. This is the tenth time that Solomon's demonstrated the spell, but your fingers still fumble on the third movement. Instead of changing shape, the glass in front of you shatters.
You let out a frustrated noise and collapse back onto the chair you're sitting in.
"It's pointless. I'm useless. I'll never be able to do it."
Solomon tuts, and he suddenly appears behind you. His snowy hair blocks out the candlelight, and he's now the only thing you can focus on.
"Don't say never, MC. It's not a good look on you. The reason you're struggling so much is due to the fact that you have too much raw magical energy in you. It just wants to flow out all at once. We just have to get that under control, and then you'll be just as good as me. Probably better. Maybe," he winks at you.
"But, still...I think that's enough for tonight. Would you like some cupcakes?"
You shoot him a slightly horrified look.
"No, I didn't make them," he sighs. "Simeon made too many."
Simeon would be so gentle with you, and it's not even in a condescending way. He's just so incredibly sweet, and he'd be so worried about you once you tell him you've been having a hard time.
Of course, he's an angel, and I personally HC that angels have an innate ability to be soothing toward humans without even doing anything. You can't help but mellow out a bit once you're around Simeon.
He's so easy to talk to. He's completely understanding and never interrupts you. He gives great advice, too. He's always able to help you find a path forward.
He's also more than willing to help you take care of yourself. He'll cook for you, make sure you're eating, make sure you're drinking water, he'll check in with you before bed, and he'll also make sure to reach out if he knows you have any difficult assignments coming up. He's a very warm, supportive presence all-around, and he'll always be there for you.
Simeon's smiling at you, and it's like the gates of Heaven are opening just for you. A sense of calm soothes the anxiety in your chest, and you let out a short huff.
"It's nothing that anyone's done, really, I just can't believe that everyone here likes me enough to actually want to be my friend. It's...I dunno. It's weird."
Simeon's hand settles over yours gently, and he pats your hand. You came over to Purgatory Hall for a much needed break from the chaotic House of Lamentation. It's not like you'd ever turn down the chance to eat Simeon's food, anyway.
"Oh, dear...you don't realize how lovable you are do, you?" Simeon murmurs.
Heat crawls up the sides of your neck and you stammer out a weak, "Wh--I don't...uh..."
Simeon just shakes his head gracefully, though the fond look in his blue eyes never dissipates.
"You are the most amazing human I have ever met, dear. Never forget that."

do not use my headers or repost my work without my permission. art and characters belong to the obey me franchise and are not my original works.
#obey me x reader#obey me shall we date#lucifer x reader#mammon x reader#leviathan x reader#satan x reader#asmodeus x reader#beelzebub x reader#belphegor x reader#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me swd#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#diavolo x reader#barbatos x reader#solomon x reader#simeon x reader#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me solomon#obey me simeon#gn!reader
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Little answer because I thought that the above comment was genuinely interesting and worth responding to because it did expose lots of things that the blackpill community (myself included) is guilty of. I am answering only because I want to clarify my perspective, not because I want to stir up some drama. Also, I am not sure if OP was directing this comment towards me in particular but it does not matter, I will answer it anyways :
1.'The spirituality thing is being used to assert a superiority complex ("I've overcome my lusts, therefore I'm better than those whores that don't"). These people haven't overcome their vices; they just transmuted their repression into anger and hatred'. I seriously believe that Spirituality is the end-goal. As I said in the original post, no philosophy will ever satisfy you and everybody will end up being disappointed by their own movement (whether because of its members or because of the shifting beliefs). The example I had in mind were obviously liberal feminism, radical feminism and blackpill feminism. I grew disillusioned with feminism because I first grew disillusioned with women. I sincerely believe that feminism is utterly useless and is mostly a psyop to convince sane women that they are oppressed, when that is not true. It is a movement that mostly benefits OSA women, that is the reason why lesbians and celibate females will always be on the backburner of this movement. About the 'superiority complex', if I am being honest with myself, I sometimes am guilty of it and so are lots of self-identified 'blackpilled' women. And while I am not defending such complex, it is quite difficult not to feel superior to the women who constantly objectify themselves and see themselves as nothing but sex-dolls. Having dignity and self-respect does make you a better person than the ones who do not. That is why some of my posts are berating the collective of women : it is hard not to feel frustrated and angry when everytime you see a female entertainer, she is half-naked, when everytime you talk to a random woman, she centers her whole universe around men. But I DO agree with the last sentence : lots of 'blackpilled' feminists hold very controversial views I simply do not agree with and that was the reason why I made that original post in the first place. Tons of them are indeed not enlightened and are simply projecting their own insecurities and inferiority complex into the collective of women and rationalizing it by refering to a warped perception of biology every 5 seconds. Once again, one could say I am 'blackpilled' because I fully acknowledge the fact that most women are only loyal to men and that they do not value freedom nor autonomy. Having said that, I also do not think that this behaviour is only explained by 'biology' since I think that our environement is also to blame but women are simply too lazy to grow out of their delulu views about men, romance, motherhood and life in general.
2. 'The whole thing is cringe and reeks of an extreme version of "not like other girls" especially with the allusions to Christianity and thinking that the male saints would vouch for them? If you're a masculine-leaning lesbian, the saints would be saying you have the spirit of Leviathan (or Lilith if you're feminine).' Once again, if you are not partaking in the same actions the majority partakes in, what does that make you ? It does make you different from others. Not being interested in dating males or having kids is ENOUGH to set a woman apart from 90% of the female population. It is not a contest when we say we are different, it is simply a fact. I have absolutely nothing in common with a male-centered woman / pickme. We are on a whole different level of conciousness. About the Saints, I do love their writings and there is nothing wrong with it. The early Saints or Mystics were very enlightened and had thought-provoking takes on tons of subjects. They simply recommanded living a celibate lifestyle and fasting and praised anyone who engaged in that kind of life. Them being males or females makes absolutely no difference. Saints corresponded with each other and praised each other for the honorable way they lived their life, they supported each other. Also, unless you have a proof of what you are asserting (that being 'masculine-leaning' would have you being accused by the Saints of being possessed), this statement is pointless. Saints more often criticized the most feminine women, the ones who paraded around town wearing expensive clothing and were boastful, while they praised the women who had nothing to do with that sooo ??? Celibate women who devoted themselves to God, no matter their physical appearance, were lauded while married women were lowkey frowned upon.
3. 'When you get to a certain point in spiritual development, you are supposed to have a measure humility and be able to meet others where they are at their own level - not denigrate them because they lack the frame of reference that you have to know the things you know. And ironically, these women exhibit the same catty behavior that they attribute to the normie women who caused their disillusionment with feminism in the first place.' It is the most interesting and truest part of the comment. I may have being guilty of not being humble enough because I did take pride in not following the societal blueprint we are 'supposed' to follow. But, one has to admit that it is quite infuriating seeing grown women with tons of life experiences behaving like idiots and then complaining about the consequences of their very own actions. Women in their 30s pulling the 'nobody told me motherhood was going to be hard' card for example is quite comical and embarassing for obvious reasons. It is not 'lacking the frame of reference', it is simply being reckless and stupid. Women are purposefully staying ignorant. Saying that women in general are delusional and are not making the best choices for themselves or the world is not being condescending, it is simply pointing out the obvious. Saying that women are responsible for their own actions is not denigrating them. Saying that sex is degrading is not a proof of feeling superior to anybody. It is simply stating a fact.
On Blackpill feminism and its limits
I agree with the foundational principle of blackpill feminism : that the world is sex-addicted and that nobody is a victim, especially women. I also agree with the fact that most women have no self-preservation instincts nor integrity since they lust after men and that penis is the only thing worth protecting for lots of them.
Having said that, I think that, just like any other philosophies, blackpill feminism will end up reaching a dead-end. Lots of women started off as neutral, then considered themselves libfems but unsurprisingly got disappointed by the ideology so they turned to radical feminism, only to once again reach a dead-end, which 'radicalized' them and made them go 'blackpilled'. The world and its philosophies are like that : they will always disappoint you.
That is why, after being disappointed so many times, lots of women end up becoming very 'bitter' and angry at women. I do not criticize that behavior as I am frustrated and embarrassed on a daily basis when I take a look at the average woman's choices. Yet, it only lasts for a couple of minutes. Why ? Because I simply do not care. That is the reason why I made the 'Having a savior complex' post : to help the people who needed to hear that you do not have to care about others, especially women's self-imposed oppression !
Every movement or philosophy should be a stepping stone to Spirituality. Period. The world is deceiving and no matter what you identify as, the Truth will never be found unless you go within and start looking for answers. That is the reason why even blackpill feminism is limited : its adepts usually go around in circles repeating the same thing. And while lots of its self identified members are very lucid about males and females' behaviours, which is very refreshing and pleasing in a world that seeks to hide the truth, some of them have fallen into the trap of becoming very 'extreme' if I can call it like that. I have seen some posts saying that women are biologically 'inferior' to males for instance, and it kind of baffled me. It is the vicious circle in which some blackpilled women fall into : rightfully criticizing males then rightfully criticizing females, only to end up saying 'actually men are right and women are biologically inferior lol'. I do not agree with this reasoning.
Ironically, my reasoning incorporates both 'feminist' logic (if we can call it like that) and 'blackpilled' logic. I believe that biology oppresses females (and males for that matter) but that in the females' case, biology could also be a huge product of our environment. Obviously, I am not saying this to excuse females' behaviours as I have already made two posts explaining that females are NOT victims and should NOT use the 'socialization' excuse to justify their dumb choices. However, I think that socialization does shape biology in a huge way and that it is up to everybody to identify the lies we have been fed since forever and transcend our socially imposed limitations. Just like how craving extreme sugary shit like candies is not inherent to us and that ads try to make us crave these candies.
I once saw an anti-sex post claiming that 'Even though sexual desire is biological, it has still been biologically manufactured into the human race'. And I agree with that. The link between hypersexuality in teenagers and our hypersexual media is obvious for instance.
That is the reason why, even though there are lots of brilliants minds that came out of the 'blackpill feminism' movement, I believe that this philosophy should direct us towards Spirituality, which is the Supreme and ONLY way to live your Truth. It is the final destination of our lives.
#answer#OP's answer was great and did adress lots of interesting stuff#I did like having my views challenged
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#ive been in such a shit spiral#of like. insecurity. and just. feeling useless.#been fighting the urge to delete e v e r y t h i n g#pretty much just tumblr and ao3 cause im not super active on social media#but the sense of: is my presence even noticed is high#and like in a sense its true cause everyone has their own lives etc etc#but its also: sometimes we all need some validation and reassurance#im terrible at social stuff to start with. making friends is really tough for me#so i guess part of the urge is also: no one is really going to notice? because im not super active anyway?#and then you add in the algorithm and stuff snd its like im mostly invisible lol#tbh i feel like my attempts at reaching out never really work#which is probably on me (ref: terrible at social stuff) but even so it doesnt feel good lmao#at some point it starts to feel pushy and desperate and whiny?#it is what it is#personal nonsense#delete later
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people actually following this blog is lowkey suprising but also half of my art is here cuz I'm a prick that thinks everyone hates them and will doxx them and their family if they post sketches on main. should've expected that
#I don't think many people realise just how deep my insecurity goes LMAO#I may stop posting one day altogether. at this point it's just a way to try and anxiously get to know someone#my art is so genuinely ugly and everytime I look back at my pieces I think WOW people are LIARS. they can't like this fucking victim of#abortion đ. I don't trust people when they say they love my pieces and I don't think I will anytime soon. Ik they make someone happy.#but only sometimes. when I have particular person in mind and draw just because I want them to feel happy â other times yeah no#it's not just art it's me that's the problem. if I put the pen down my self-hatred won't go anywhere#it'll just get worse because now I'm useless and annoying. even if anyone wants they won't be able to use me - not really#for what?#I also feel like I'm a monster everytime I message someone. annoying clingy bitch if you will#wow okay. that's a lot#tw vent#<- I vent a lot but this one is a lot more sincere than others sooo
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it just hit me all at once how fucking low my self esteem is after my last relationship
#taylor.txt#i literally just broke down crying to my mother about how worthless and useless i feel#it's just... why am i here. what do i do.#i didn't realise i felt that way until now. not this bad at least#i had moments in the relationship where i felt like this#i didn't realise how much it actually like. stuck.#i painted her her cat for christmas. like. her cat but with all flowers through her fur#i did it over the course of a week and my mother and grandmother both said it was good#and i broke down crying because i felt humiliated that i couldn't just buy her something expensive#because i knew that would've made her happy and my stupid little cat painting just... didn't#i didn't realise how much of those insecurities and that feeling of complete inadequacy and uselessness and worthlessness stayed
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Im going to fucking throw up
#i hate posting about how im insecure abt my drawings because that just makes people rb them out of pity thats annoying as shit dont do that#but then i try for hours to draw something and its honestly not important to me but by the end im pretty pround#so i post it knowing no ones gonna give a shit#and yeah pretty much thats what happens#and i feel like shit bc no one owes me attention ffs#and i know it isnt anything special and i should have drawn something actually interesting instead of another portrait#and i complain to my mother and shes like#'well this is something a child would have drawn it isnt good'#and im like oooh i should kms got it#like obviously im the one who craves validation without putting any effort into making it actually cool#so this is like no one's fault and im self aware of it and it drives me INSANE#and i need to vent this but it will make someone go pity rb all of my stuff and it's gonna feel like shit bc i hate begging for notes#like you know if someone wasnt going to reblog why beg them to. thats not them actually liking the art thats bullshit guilt tripping#i dont even need exposure i dont sell any drawings exposure is useless to me i dont even know what i want#i just want to make something that people like what the fuck
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Been going through the comments and links on Reddit to try and understand the situation better, turns out there's a new post with updated info here.
AO3 has been scraped, once again.
As of the time of this post, AO3 has been scraped by yet another shady individual looking to make a quick buck off the backs of hardworking hobby writers. This Reddit post here has all the details and the most current information. In short, if your fic URL ends in a number between 1 and 63,200,000 (inclusive), AND is not archive locked, your fic has been scraped and added to this database.
I have been trying to hold off on archive locking my fics for as long as possible, and I've managed to get by unscathed up to now. Unfortunately, my luck has run out and I am archive locking all of my current and future stories. I'm sorry to my lovelies who read and comment without an account; I love you all. But I have to do what is best for me and my work. Thank you for your understanding.
#fandom#ao3#anti ai#fuck ai#fuck all of this#fuck the 'well actually you didn't come up with those characters yourself so it's fine to steal and plagiarize your work' people#the 'have some sympathy for those who are too lazy or insecure to try and write/draw something themselves!' crowd#the 'muh poor widdle utterly helpless & useless disabled people who need the big strong abled techbros to take pity on them' folks#i'm tired#i've been holding off from locking my fic for a while now#partly because i hated (and actually still hate) the idea of doing that from the bottom of my heart#partly because some of the best comments i ever got were from guests#who didn't feel like they could leave them while logged in for some reason or another#and partly because i do know that in the end it only helps very little if at all#because there will always be a worse douchebag just round the corner#but you know what?#fuck it. fuck me. fuck everything
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she won't go awayâ a sukuna fic
art creds to to_0fu (twitter/x)
pairing â college sukuna! x reader
synopsis â of all the people in your chemistry course, you get stuck with ryomen sukunaâthe most insufferable, arrogant asshole on campus. he barely does any work, runs his mouth like itâs a sport, and somehow manages to make your life even more exhausting than it already is. if this project doesnât kill you, he just might.
wc â 26k (ONLY 1K ABOVE THE EXPECTED WC YAAAY)
warnings â explicit sexual content (unprotected sex), sukuna is quite mean in the beginning, possibly incorrect depiction of frat culture (spare me i am not american), lots of sexual jokes, brief tiny smidge of angst, reader is a bad bitch, mentions of feeling insecure, choso and toji are gym himbos.
âPlease, anyone but him, professorââ You try begging, hands gripping the edge of the desk like your life depends on it. You know itâs useless, but desperation makes a fool out of you.
Professor Shimizu sighs, sympathy flashing across her face, but itâs gone in an instant. She adjusts her glasses, pushing them up her nose, and gives you a rueful smile. âI understand your concerns,â she says, âand if it were up to me, Iâd happily rearrange the groups, but the pairings were assigned by the department. Something about fostering academic cooperation.â She shakes her head like she, too, thinks itâs bullshit. âMy hands are tied.â
Your stomach sinks. Fostering academic cooperation? With him? Youâd have better luck reasoning with a brick wallâone that could talk back and insult you for fun. You turn back toward the class, eyes darting between the clusters of students already deep in discussion. Some of them look at you with poorly concealed amusement, others with pity. And then thereâs him, sitting by the window, looking positively bored like this whole situation is an inconvenience.Â
Ryomen Sukuna.
The campus heartthrob. The golden boy of the mechanical engineering department. A nightmare wrapped in a six-foot-something frame of smugness and muscle. A nightmare that you unfortunately have to share your CHEM10002 course with (why heâd picked a premed course as an elective was beyond you) You hate him. And not in the petty ugh, heâs annoying kind of way. Itâs deeper than that. Heâs insufferable. Arrogant. Egotistical. The type of guy who always has a girl in his bed but never the same one twice. He walks around campus like he owns the place, flashing that sharp grin, that lazy confidence that makes peopleâgirls, especiallyâfawn over him despite his reputation. Cocky, rude, impossible to work with.
And now youâre stuck with him. Oh, hell no. Your body stiffens. No way. No fucking way. Like hell youâre going to spend the next few weeks working with him. You whip your head back to Professor Shimizu, grasping at anythingâanythingâto get out of this. âWhat if I did extra credit? A research paper? A presentation? Anything,â you plead, voice tight. âIâll take a lower grade. Dock my participation. I donât careâjust not him.â
She sighs, but itâs not exasperated, just⊠tired. âI appreciate your enthusiasm,â she says, like youâre asking for more work because you love learning instead of trying to escape an actual nightmare. âBut, again, I canât change the pairings. And as much as Iâd love to give you an alternative assignment, the department is very strict on this. Itâs meant to âchallenge students to collaborate beyond personal preference.ââ She air-quotes it, which means she definitely thinks itâs bullshit. You slump, stomach twisting with something bitter. Collaboration? With Sukuna? The only thing he collaborates on is making everyoneâs life harder.
You grit your teeth, hard. Heâs lounging now, one hand shoved in his pocket, the other lazily spinning a pen between his fingers while he lazily eyes you from where heâs manspreading in his seat. He doesnât even look like heâs trying, and thatâs what pisses you off the mostâhe never tries. Not in class, not with people, not with anything. Everything just seems to work out for him anyway.
You hate that you know that. You really hate that you know that. But youâve known him long enough. Long enough to rememberâ
Freshman Year
It was something small. Stupid, even. But you still remember the heat of humiliation crawling up your neck, the way people laughed under their breath, how he barely even looked at you afterward, like it hadnât mattered. You had been in a required first-year seminar, and the professor called on you to answer a question. It wasnât hard, but the nerves got the best of youâyou stumbled over your words, your voice wavered.
And then you heard it. A tsk, followed by a lazy, mocking lilt:
âDamn. Spit it out, dumbass.â
Heat flushed through you, the classroom suddenly too bright, too small. A few people chuckledâsome outright laughed. You had swallowed thickly, willing yourself to focus, to get through the answer. When class ended, you stormed out, ignoring the lingering stares, the murmured that was brutal from some guy behind you. But Sukuna? He didnât even glance your way. Because to him, it wasnât anything. It wasnât worth a second thought. And now, here you are, stuck working with the one person who had made you feel like an idiot before you even had the chance to prove yourself.Â
You hadnât even thought about it that much at the timeânot really. But later, when you were alone, it festered. You were just a freshman. Barely out of high school, still figuring things out, still nervous about speaking up in a room full of people smarter, older, better than you. It wasnât even like you got the answer wrongâyou had just hesitated. That was all it took. And it was stupid, so stupid, but after that day, you started thinking twice before speaking in class. Before raising your hand. Before answering anything unless you were absolutely sure you wouldnât trip over your words. And god, you hate that it got to you. Itâs not like it was some big, scarring moment. It was one second of his life. A second he probably doesnât even remember.
But it was yours. It wasnât just that one time. There was another. Worse, somehow, because this time, he hadnât even been speaking to youâjust about you. It was late freshman year, after youâd spent the whole semester training yourself not to stutter, not to hesitate, not to embarrass yourself again. You were doing better. At least, you thought you were. Until one afternoon, outside the student center, when you walked past Sukuna and his group of friendsâToji, Choso, Mahito, and a couple of others, all leaned back on the benches like they owned the place.
You werenât eavesdropping. You didnât mean to hear it. But thenâ
ââwas struggling so bad, I thought she was gonna pass out.â
A few chuckles. A low whistle from Toji.Â
âLike, just say it, dumbass,â Sukuna scoffed, sharp, mocking. âOr at least commit. That shit was painful to listen to.â
Your stomach dropped. You donât know who they were talking about. Maybe some other poor freshman who had choked on their words mid-discussion. Maybe a random classmate. Maybeâ
Your face burned. You forced yourself to keep walking, head down, pretending like it wasnât about you, like you werenât suddenly back in that seminar with his voice in your ears and everyoneâs quiet snickers pressing into your skin. He didnât even look at you as you passed. Of course, he didnât. He probably didnât even remember it was the same person. And now, three years later, you have to sit across from Ryomen Sukuna, the campus asshole, the man who probably hasnât stuttered a day in his goddamn life, and pretend you donât want to walk out of this classroom and never come back. You exhale sharply, pressing your fingers into your temples.
This is fine. Youâve dealt with annoying people before. Youâve had to work with partners who contributed nothing, who slacked off, who treated group projects like free rides. Sukuna is just another roadblockâone with a stupid face and a worse attitude.
And, honestly? Itâs not even about the stuttering thing anymore. That was years ago, and youâd be damned if you let some insignificant moment from freshman year shake you now. Just because he made you insecure about one thing doesnât mean youâre meek. Youâve worked too hard to let this get to you. So, with all the grace you can muster, you pull out the chair across from him, stiffly sit down, and say, âHi, Iâmââ
Sukuna doesnât even look at you. Doesnât acknowledge you. Doesnât even pretend to try. Instead, he leans back in his chair, stretching his arms behind his head, and immediately starts talking to Toji, whoâs standing nearby.
âSo, dinner at that steak place tonight?â
âYeah,â Toji mutters, tapping at his phone. âGonna see if theyâve got space.â
Sukuna scoffs. âThey always have space.â
âNo, dumbass, last time we went, they were booked.â
âThey let us in last time,â Sukuna corrects, smirking, and that smugness makes your eye twitch. Are you being fucking ignored? You glance between them, incredulous, and then say, âIâm literally talking to you.â
That finally gets his attention. Slowly, like youâre the inconvenience here, Sukuna turns his head toward you. His gaze flicks over you, slow, unimpressed, like heâs barely registering you exist. You square your shoulders. âThis project is quite hefty. We need to split up the research so weâre not scrambling at the last minute.â
He stares at you for a moment, blank, and thenâ
He rolls his eyes.
âJesus,â he mutters, leaning forward, elbows on the table. âYouâre one of those, huh?â
You frown. âExcuse me?â
âThe tryhard type. Gets assigned a little homework and suddenly thinks theyâre running a Fortune 500 company.â He tilts his head, smirking. âRelax, woman. Itâs just a project.â
Woman. Your jaw clenches so hard it hurts.Â
âThat âlittle homeworkâ is forty five percent of our grade,â you bite out.
âDonât give a fuck,â he grunts, sounding bored.
You inhale deeply. âSo, I was thinkingââ
But he groans, dragging a tattooed hand down his face. âAre we seriously doing this now?â
âYes, weâre seriously doing this now,â you snap. He exhales sharply through his nose, glaring. âGod, youâre fucking annoying.â
Youâre not sure whether you should be offended or hurt. On one hand, obviously as a normal human being, being spoken to like this from a person youâre quite literally talking to for the first time is bound to hurt your feelings. On the other hand, this guyâs dickhead personality is kind of well known through your university. Your grip on your pen tightens, but you keep your voice even.
 âIâm annoying because I want to pass?â
âYouâre annoying because you talk way too fuckinâ much.â
 That stings more than youâd like to admit. You grit your teeth, ignoring the way your stomach tightens, and push forward anyway. âIf we divide the research today, we wonât have to meet up as often,â you say, firmly. âI assume youâll want to do as little work as possible, so letâs justââ
âHoly shit.â Sukuna pushes his chair back with a loud scrape, fixing you with an exasperated look. âDo you ever shut up?â You blink, stunned. Toji snickers.
âOh, come on,â Sukuna scoffs, throwing up a hand. âYouâre gonna sit there all wide-eyed like I just kicked your fuckinâ puppy? You started it.â Your fingers twitch against the table. âStarted what?â you ask, voice dangerously calm. âThis whole thingâacting like Iâm some bum ass delinquent who needs a babysitter.â His eyes narrow. âIf you wanna play boss, go find some other loser to be a bitch to.â
Your patience snaps. âOr you could just not be a lazy asshole. Do you lack brain cells? Youâve seriously told me to shut up like 5 times in the span of about ten minutes. Do you have a problem where you canât focus?â The air between you shifts.
Sukunaâs jaw tics. His expression darkens, something sharp flashing through his eyes, but then his lips pull into something crueler than a smirkâsomething with edges, something dangerous.
âYou think Iâm lazy? Got somethinâ wrong with me because I canât take your nerdy bitching?â he asks, voice low. You hesitate, but only for a second. âGlad you have the ability to comprehend what I said.â That makes him grin. âAnd you think Iâm an asshole?â
âYes.â
He hums, tilting his head. Then he leans forward, just slightly, elbows resting on the table. His voice drops into something smug, mockingâ
âThen why the fuck are you still talking to me?â
Your blood boils.
What the fuck is his problem?
You lean forward too, matching him, refusing to shrink under his gaze. âBecause I have to, dumbass,â you snap. âI tried to change my group. I begged. I offered to do extra credit. I would have written a whole goddamn thesis if it meant not sitting across from youâbut guess what?â You gesture sharply between you. âIâm stuck with you.â
Sukuna raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. âTragic.â
You let out a frustrated breath, gripping the edge of the table so hard your knuckles turn white. âSo, as much as Iâd love to pretend you donât existââ
âThen do it,â he interrupts, tone dry.
You blink. âWhat?â
âIf you wanna pretend I donât exist, go ahead,â he drawls, leaning back lazily. âDo the whole project yourself. Youâll probably enjoy it, since youâre clearly getting off on playing group leader.â
âOh, my god.â You clench your fists, barely restraining yourself. âWhy are you such a dickhead? Parents not teach you basic respect?â
âBecause you donât shut the fuck up,â he snaps, finally looking genuinely irritated.
Your lips part, incredulous. âIâm literally just trying to do the fucking project? Like any normal human being?â
âNo, youâre trying to control shit,â Sukuna says flatly. âLike this is some big dealâlike I havenât passed a million of these useless classes already.â
You stare at him. âYou think this is useless?â
He smirks. âYeah.â
Oh, you hate him.
âSome of us actually give a shit about our grades, Sukuna.â
âYou know my name? Cute.â You inhale sharply through your nose, trying to stay calm, trying not to launch your textbook at his stupid, perfect face. âI donât care how many classes youâve passed,â you say, voice taut. âYouâre doing this one with me. I care about this project. And if I have to suffer through working with you, you can at least pretend to give a shit.â He tilts his head, mockingly thoughtful. âMm. No.â
You exhale slowly, tryingâfailingâto stop your hands from curling into fists.
âI swear to godââ
âWhat, huh?â he cuts in, voice dripping with condescension. âYou gonna whine to the professor again?â He lets out a low chuckle, shaking his head. âPathetic.â
Your jaw tightens. He grins, like heâs won something. Like heâs getting exactly what he wantsâlike this is a game to him, something to toy with, something to waste his time on. And you refuse to let him win. So, you straighten your spine, lift your chin, and meet his gaze without flinching. âFine,â you say, voice steely. âIf you want to half-ass this, be my guest. Just donât expect me to pick up your slack.â
Sukuna watches you, amused, as if heâs waiting for you to crack. When you donât, he smirks.
âWeâll see.â
You inhale sharply, forcing yourself to keep your voice level.
âWell, unfortunately for you,â you say stiffly, âyou actually have to do your share.â
Sukuna snorts. âSays who?â
âThe professor.â You cross your arms. âSince apparently, students have been slacking on group projects, we have to submit proof of collaborationâmeeting logs, progress updates, actual proof that weâre working together.â His expression darkens. You fight the urge to smirk. Suffer.
âYouâve gotta be fucking kidding me,â he mutters.
âNope.â You press your lips together, trying to hold back your pure satisfaction. âSo, congratulations, Sukuna. You have to meet up with me at least once a week.â He exhales sharply through his nose, glaring at you like youâre personally ruining his life. âYouâre telling me I have to sit through this shit every week?â
âYep.â
âYou specifically?â
âYep.â
Sukuna groans, dragging a hand through the unruly pink strands of his hair. Then, just as youâre about to remind him that this is literally his problem for being a shit student, he lifts his headâeyes raking over you in a slow, lazy once-over. And then, he smirks. You freeze.
âWhat?â you snap, immediately on edge.
His smirk widens.
âNah, I was just thinking,â he drawls, tipping his head back against his chair. âIf you were hotter, this would be way less painful.â
Your stomach drops. The words hit you like a slap, and for a second, all you can do is sit there, stunned, completely caught off guard by how casualâhow easyâit is for him to say something like that. Like itâs just true. Like itâs a fact. Your fingers dig into your sleeve. And the worst part? Itâs not even the insult itself that stingsâitâs the sheer, blatant dismissal. The fact that he looks at you and immediately decides youâre not worth even pretending to be interested in. As if you were hoping for his attention. As if you were seeking his approval.Â
âYeah?â you say, voice flat, emotionless. âWell, if you were smarter, I wouldnât have to carry your useless ass through this class.â His grin falters, just barely, but you see itâand for once, itâs your turn to smirk. You lean forward, matching his posture, tilting your head mockingly.
âGuess weâre both disappointed, huh?âÂ
For a moment, Sukuna just stares at you. And you donât miss the way his jaw tightens, how his fingers twitch against the table like heâs fighting the urge to rip you apart. Good. Thenâhe exhales sharply through his nose, tipping his chair back slightly, acting unfazed even though you saw the flicker of irritation in his eyes. âDamn,â he muses, voice slow, dragging. âDidnât know you had a mouth on you.â
âYeah?â You tilt your head. âDidnât know you gave a shit.â
Sukuna scoffs. âI donât.â
âThen shut the fuck up and do your assigned work.â
He lets out a low, mean laugh, running a hand through his hair. âYouâre lucky Iâm feeling generous today.â
âGenerous?â You nearly choke. âYouâve been nothing but a dick since the moment I sat down.â
He shrugs, unbothered. âCould be worse.â
You want to strangle him. Instead, you inhale sharply through your nose, pressing your palms flat against the table before forcing yourself to stay on track. âWhatever,â you say, shaking your head. âHereâs the deal: we have to meet at least once a week. I donât care where. I donât care when. But we need to get the work done, and I need proof that you were actually presentâbecause if we donât, we both fail.â
Sukuna glares at you, as if the very concept of responsibility offends him.
âFucking hell,â he mutters, dragging a hand down his face again. âYouâre really gonna be a hardass about this, huh?â
You raise an eyebrow. âYou donât care about failing?â
âNot really.â
Your eyes narrow. âThen why are you even in this class?â
At this, he finally drops his chair back down onto all four legs, leaning in slightly. âLetâs get one thing straight,â he says, voice lower, more serious. âI donât need this shit. Iâm here because my old man thinks I should at least pretend to give a fuck about college.â He smirks, sharp and taunting. âBut donât get it twistedâI donât actually give a fuck.â You pause, studying him, trying to piece together the weight behind his words. Of course, you know he comes from money. Everyone does. The Ryomen family name carries weight, old money, power, prestigeâso it makes sense that college, for him, is just some bullshit obligation rather than a means to a future. Still, something about the way he says itâhow bitter it soundsâsticks with you. Not that you care.
You roll your eyes. âRight. Got it. Poor little rich boy.â
His smirk drops.
For a second, thereâs silence.
Thenâ
âYou know what?â Sukuna says, voice eerily calm. âFine. Iâll meet up with you.â
You blink, a little thrown off by how easily he gives in.
ââŠOkay?â
âBut.â His gaze darkens, and the corner of his mouth twitches, almost like heâs daring you to argue. âYou work around my schedule.â
Your stomach twists with irritation. âThatâs notââ
âNot my problem,â he cuts in smoothly, leaning back in his chair. âI donât do morning meetups. I donât do last-minute bullshit. And if you start bitching about how I âdonât take this seriously,ââ he mocks, voice lilting high, âI will walk out and leave you with an automatic fail. Or whatever the fuck happens to your grade if the other person doesnât do their part. Got it?â Your blood boils. But what can you do? You already tried to get reassigned. So, through gritted teeth, you say, âFine.â
Sukuna smirks.
âGood girl.â
â
You should have known it was going to be hell the second he suggested meeting at the East Wing library. Itâs the furthest damn library on campusâtwenty minutes from the dorms, uphill, and completely out of the way. Not a single other student in your class would have chosen that location. And yet, when you tried suggesting the much closer, more convenient library, Sukuna had just shrugged, barely sparing you a glance as he packed up his bag.
âAw, did you forget that Iâm in charge of where we meet up?,â he drawled, voice dripping with fake sympathy. âThat sounds like a you problem.â
And just like that, the decision was final. So now, here you are, twenty minutes later, climbing the last flight of stairs to the East Wing library, already in a foul mood before the study session has even started. And when you finally get there? You find Sukuna kicked back in his chair at one of the study tables, feet up, scrolling through his phone like heâs waiting on room service instead of his own damn groupmate.
No laptop. No notes No book. Just his phone. Un-fucking-believable. You drop your bag onto the chair across from him, loudly, but he doesnât even flinch. Doesnât look up. Doesnât acknowledge your presence at all.
âSeriously?â you deadpan, arms crossing. Sukuna exhales through his nose, still not looking at you. âTook you long enough.â You almost black out from rage.
âOh, Iâm sorry,â you say, voice flat. âMy dorm is on the opposite side of campus.â He hums, barely acknowledging your words, his focus glued to his phone. You take a deep breath, count to three, and pull out your laptop. âOkay. So, the projectââ
Before you can even finish, his phone rings. And instead of silencing it, like a normal human being, Sukuna just smirks and answers it, right there in front of you. âYo,â he says lazily, stretching his arms behind his head. Your eye twitches. The person on the other endâyou recognise the voice as Chosoâsays something that makes Sukuna huff a laugh, shaking his head.
âYeah, yeah, Iâm at the library,â he mutters. âWith that chick from class.â Your hand tightens around your pen. So he didnât even know your name. Great. And you two were supposedly paired for the rest of this semester? You wanted to fucking die. Not even two minutes in, and heâs already testing your patience. Sukuna leans back, grinning as Choso says something else. âNah, itâs just her,â Sukuna says, completely offhand. âNo eye candy here, bro.â
Your grip tightens around your pen. Did this dumbass seriously just say that out loud? In a library? In the middle of your study session? You drop your pen onto the table with a sharp thud, but the sting in your chest lingers. Itâs not like you expected anything different from him. Itâs not like you cared.
âŠExcept you do. Just a little. Not because you want him to think youâre prettyâfuck noâbut because thereâs something uniquely humiliating about being dismissed like that. Like your presence is some minor inconvenience he has to tolerate. Your jaw locks, and you square your shoulders, forcing the feeling down. Screw him. Youâre not here to impress him. Youâre here to get your damn work done. Sukuna finally glances up, raising a brow like he just now realized youâre sitting there. You stare at him, completely done. He hums, completely unbothered, before turning his focus back to his phone. âRelax. You look like someone stuck a stick up your ass.â
âGenuinely do you have a mental illness or some shit?,â you shoot back, your irritation reaching an all-time high. âWe have a chemistry project thatâs 45% of our grade, and youâre sitting here talking aboutââ
âBro, hold on,â Sukuna suddenly says into the receiver, cutting you off mid-rant. He holds his hand up like heâs physically silencing you, turning his head away. âChoso, you hear this? Shortyâs about to pop a blood vessel over some homework. All âcause I said she isnât some eye candy. Women, right?â
Your mouth falls open.
Did he justâ
âIâ Youââ
Your brain short-circuits for a second, tripping over the sheer audacity of him. Sukuna leans back in his chair, grinning up at you like a complete bastard. âYou need to get laid or something?â A beat of silence. Your entire body stills. And then, without hesitation, you lean forwards and rip his phone out of his hand and slam it face-down in front of you.
âThe fuck?â Sukuna scoffs, finally looking genuinely surprised for the first time all day. Then, his smirk returns, and he props his chin on his hand, clearly amused. âYou got some nerve,â he muses.Â
âAnd you have the IQ of a fucking vegetable, but weâre still here.â
Sukuna huffs a laugh, shaking his head. âDamn. Whatâs got your panties in a twist?â
âMy panties in a twist?â you scoff, staring at him in pure disbelief. âYou refuse to work, you talk shit about the way I look while Iâm sitting right here, and youââ
âYou are sitting right there, and youâre not really hot enough for me to notice.â he interrupts smoothly. âWhat, you want me to lie?âÂ
Your eye twitches. âYou could at least pretend to have an ounce of human decencyââ
âPfft,â Sukuna snorts. âFor you?â Your nostrils flare. Sukuna just grins. âOh, come on,â he drawls, waving a hand. âYouâre taking this way too personally.â
âHowââ You press your fingers to your temples, inhaling sharply. âHow else am I supposed to take it when youââ
âAnd you,â Sukuna counters casually, âare a fucking headache.â You slam your hand against the table, startling the people sitting nearby. âAt least Iâm a headache with a work ethic. Youâre a pain in the ass and canât focus for like what? 2 seconds? Without spacing out.â
âCongrats,â he deadpans. âYou want a gold star?â
You want him to get hit by a bus.Â
Sukuna shakes his head, leaning back again, still looking far too entertained. âLook, we both know youâre gonna do most of the work anyway,â he says lazily. âSo why not just save yourself the stress and accept it?â
âBecause this is a group projectââ
âYeah, and Iâm in the group. So technically, that counts.â You inhale sharply, barely keeping yourself from lunging across the table.
âSwear to god, bro,â Sukuna snorts, having picked up his phone from where youâd slammed it down, resuming his call with Choso, âI got this chick sending me, like, three nudes back-to-back last night. Shit was insane.â
âYou are,â you say, voice flat, âfucking disgusting.â Sukuna smirks, clearly thriving off your irritation. âOh? Why, âcause I get pussy?â
âNo,â you snap, willing for your cheeks not to redden with the way he speaks so crudely. âBecause weâre supposed to be working.â
He hums, completely unbothered, before turning his focus back to his phone. âRelax. I got time.â You scoff. âOh, so you do know how deadlines work?â
âDamn,â Sukuna mutters, shaking his head, lips curling into an annoyed frown. âYouâre really pressed over this, huh?â
âThis is not happening,â you mutter under your breath. âI am not about to let some oversized thug skate his way through a semester while Iââ
âThug?â Sukuna repeats, laughing. âYou mean scholar? You hear that, Choso?â He puts his phone on speaker. âShe just called me a thug.â
âYeah, I heard,â Chosoâs voice comes through the speaker, lazy and unbothered. âSheâs right.â Sukuna snaps his head down at his phone. âThe fuck?âÂ
You bark out a sharp laugh, your first real one of the evening. Sukuna rolls his eyes and hangs up, tossing his phone onto the table with an annoyed click of his tongue. âChosoâs a bitch,â he mutters.
âAnd youâre a waste of oxygen.â Sukuna grins at you. âYouâre a piece of shit.â You snatch your textbook off the table and throw it at him, eye twitching when he easily manages to catch it.
âOh my god, please kill yourself and do us all a favourâ Sukuna laughs at that, tilting his head like heâs genuinely entertained by how close you are to losing your shit. âCâmon,â he drawls, placing his phone face-down on the tableâfinally giving you some attention. âLetâs hear it, then. Whatâs our big, bad, super important assignment?â
You exhale sharply, flipping open your notes. âItâs a research-based chemistry project. Weâre supposed to choose a topic related to reaction mechanisms and provide a full breakdown of the process. That includesââ
Sukuna leans back. âBoring.â You snap your notebook shut again. âOh my god.â He grins. âThis is really your shit, huh?â
âWhat?â
âThe nerdy little projects,â he teases, resting his chin on his hand. âBet youâre thriving right now.â You glare. âI am thriving off the idea of you getting hit by a bus.â Sukuna just chuckles, shaking his head. âViolent,â he muses. âDidnât think you had it in you.â You press your fingers against your temples. âI hate you.â
âYeah?â He smirks. âThatâs cute.â You inhale sharply. Exhale. Inhale again. This is fine. This is totally fine. He is just a guy. This is just a project. And you are not going to let him get under your skin. You open your notebook again, forcing yourself to focus. âOur topic isââ
Sukuna clicks his tongue. âOoooor,â he interrupts, leaning forward with a lazy smirk, âyou can just shut up and do it yourself.â
You pause. You blink at him, barely processing what he just said. He shrugs. âYouâre good at this shit. Iâm not. Seems fair.â Your jaw clenches. âHavenât you gotten it through your thick skull? Even if I wanted to, we have to constantly update all the meeting logs, andâ.â
Sukuna just smirks wider, cutting you off in true Sukuna fashion. âBut itâd be so much easier if you did all of it, wouldnât it? And those fucking collaboration logs can be faked.â You stare at him. You are going to lose your mind. You are actually going to lose your fucking mind. You inhale one last time, roll your shoulders back, and meet his gaze with renewed determination. âLetâs get one thing straight,â you say, voice sharp. âIf you refuse to contribute, I will tell our professor. And you know that they take the reported behaviour for consideration the next time they mark a group assignment from literally any other class, yeah? â
Sukuna snorts. âSnitch.â You glare harder. âI donât care.â He clicks his tongue, shaking his head like youâre just so exhausting to deal with.
âSuch a pain in the ass,â he mutters, stretching his arms above his head. âBut whatever. Weâll see.âÂ
You stare him down. You know what that means. It means he has no intention of doing shit. You exhale slowly, clenching your jaw. This is going to be the longest semester of your life.
â
You try to keep your composure. You really, really do. But after a week of dealing with Ryomen fucking Sukuna, youâre already at your breaking point. Itâs bad enough that he refuses to contribute anything to the project. Bad enough that every time you try to get him to focus, he leans back in his chair like some smug, insufferable prince, making a point to not listen.
âOh, come on,â he drawls one day in class, stretching lazily in his seat while you sit next to him, barely keeping yourself from strangling him. His shirt rides up just a bit, flashing a sliver of tattooed skinâ and a happy trailâ and you look away on instinct. He deserves no admiration. âYou love this shit. Itâs kind of sweet, honestly. Doing all the work for me like this?â
Your grip tightens on your pen, knuckles going white. âI wouldnât have to if you actually did your part, dumbass.â
Unfortunately, the guy was worse than you had anticipated, so begrudgingly, only once or twice you had taken up his slack, deeming that he wouldnât get into too much trouble even if you complained to the professor. It wasnât too bad considering it was just the introductory part of the project, but you would probably complain if he pulled this shit in the middle of the semester when things got serious. Sukuna just smirks. That smirk. The kind that makes you want to throw something at his face. âDo I, though?â
Your eye twitches. âYes.â
âBecause, from where Iâm sitting, it looks like youâve already taken care of most of it.â He gestures lazily to your open notesâyour notes, where half the research under his name is written in your own handwriting because you were sick of waiting for him to do it. âAppreciate the help, baby.â Your jaw clenches. âYouââ
You exhale sharply, fingers flexing against your notebook. You swear, if murder wasnât illegalâ
Across the table, Choso (They had been lounging here with him even before you had arrived, and you were sleep deprived and tired from the venture to the East wing from your dorm, so you kept your mouth shut about their presence) chuckles. âDamn, Sukuna,â he muses, lips quirking as he glances between the two of you. âSheâs really out here doing your degree for you.â Toji snorts. âShit, at this point, just put her name on your diploma.â
You snap your head toward them, scowling. âIâm notââ
âOh, but you kinda are,â Sukuna interjects smoothly, smirking. âDonât worry, sweetheart. Iâll make sure to give you a nice lilâ thank you when I graduate.â You glare. âI donât want your fucking thanks. I want you to do your damn work.â Sukuna just clicks his tongue and leans back, propping his feet up on the chair next to him like he has not a single care in the world. âYeah, yeah,â he mutters, so fucking dismissive. âWeâll see.â
â
It gets worse. Because apparently, refusing to do work and making you look like an idiot in front of his friends isnât enough. No, of course not. Sukuna has to make sure you suffer. So, during one of your scheduled study sessions (during the most odd times of the day), while youâre actively trying to go over the research, Sukunaâin all his dickhead gloryâleans back in his chair, tilts his head toward the nearest girl, and flashes that cocky, stupid toothy smile of his.
âHey,â he purrs, voice dropping into that low, slow tone that has half the campus wrapped around his fucking finger. âYou got a pencil?â The girl blinksâclearly flusteredâbefore fumbling through her bag. âUhâyeah! Yeah, here.â Sukuna smirks, taking it from her fingers way too slowly, thumb brushing against hers. The poor girl sucks in a sharp breath, eyes widening like sheâs just touched a live wire. He leans in just slightly, voice dropping to something just for her. âThanks, cutie. Real lifesaver.â
The girl giggles, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers. âYouâre welcome, Sukuna.â You knew he was an asshole. You knew that his stupid, irritating grin made girls fall over themselves. But this? This was just blatant disrespect. You were right there. He was doing this on purpose. And sure enough, when you glance up, Sukunaâs already watching youâmouth twitching, eyes glinting with amusement. You slam your book shut. âAre you done?â Sukuna raises an eyebrow, playing dumb. âWhat?â You gesture vaguely toward the poor girl, whoâs still blushing and dazed from his attention. âWith your little⊠whatever this is?â
His smirk stretches wider. âJealous?âÂ
Your nostrils flare. âIâm annoyed.â He hums, twirling the pencil between his fingers. âCouldâve fooled me.â You clench your fists under the table, swallowing the very real urge to dump your coffee on his head. You refuseârefuseâto let him get under your skin. So, instead, you take a breath, roll your shoulders back, and force your voice to stay level. âAre you actually going to contribute today, or should I just log that you didnât show up?â
Sukuna laughsâloud and unbothered. âDamn,â he drawls, leaning forward on his elbows. âYouâre kinda a hardass, huh?â You stare him down, unwavering. âAnd youâre a waste of fucking time.â His grin widens, something sharper, meaner curling at the edges of it.
âNow, thatâs just mean,â he muses, tapping the pencil against the table. âWhat happened, sweetheart? You just pissed off, or do you just need to get fucked? Seriously with the way you act so fuckinâ bitchy all the time, I swear you act like you havenât had dick in ages.â
You still for half a second. Then your jaw locks. Your entire body runs hot, blood boiling, because what the fuck? Youâre already on edge, and now heâs going there? You let out a short, sharp laugh, shaking your head. âYou speak so disgustingly, you know that? So weird and perverted...â Sukuna leans back again, sprawled out, totally relaxed. âWhat? Iâm just saying.â He gestures vaguely in your direction. âMaybe thatâs why youâre so uptight all the time.â Across the room, the girl from earlier glances over, eyes flicking between you and Sukuna like sheâs witnessing something amusing. You refuse to give herâor himâthe satisfaction. You inhale sharply, steadying yourself. And then, voice cold and clipped, you meet his gaze dead-on.
âDo your fucking work, Sukuna.â He grins. And then, of course, he doesnât.
â
The lecture hall is freezing, the air-conditioning cranked too high like the university is trying to keep students awake through sheer environmental hostility. It doesnât work. Youâre exhausted. After back-to-back shifts at work, an avalanche of coursework, and the black hole of stress that is your chem project with Sukuna, youâre running on fumes. The moment you step into the lecture hall, your eyes instinctively scan for the back row. Ifâwhenâyou inevitably start nodding off, you donât want the professor clocking it. You sink into a chair near the corner, stretching your legs out with a sigh. Heavy-lidded eyes drift toward the front, barely focusing on the professor setting up slides. You could close your eyes just for a secondâ
The seat next to you creaks. A familiar presence drops beside you, and you know who it is before you even turn your head. Sukuna. Of course. You donât acknowledge him. Maybe if you ignore him, heâll take the hint andâ
His knee knocks against yours, jostling you just as your head dips forward. Your body tenses, and you snap a glare in his direction. Heâs manspreading like he owns the place, legs sprawled wide, one arm slung over the back of your chair like this is his personal space and not a public lecture hall. Heâs wearing one of those long-sleeve compression shirts that clings to his frame, every inked line of muscle pressing against the fabric. Not that you care. But the sheer arrogance of it is annoying. You scowl, shifting as far away from him as possible. âWhy are you here?â
âDunno,â he drawls, voice low and amused. âFelt like it.â You roll your eyes and turn back toward the front, trying to focus on the professorâs voice. Your brain is barely keeping up with the lecture, exhaustion pressing against your skull like a weight. Sukuna doesnât let up. He leans in just enough to make his presence known. âDamn,â he muses, eyes dragging over your face with something unreadable. âYou look rough. Didnât get the chance to put on concealer or whatever you women use to cover up that?â The words land heavier than they should. Itâs the way he says it. Careless. Blunt. No humor to soften the edge. And you know youâre not uglyâ the opposite in fact, butâ
Your face drops before you can stop it. You donât have the energy to fight back today. You just swallow whatever sharp retort you could say, fix your gaze on the front of the lecture hall, and pretend like he doesnât exist. Sukuna notices. For the first time in ever, he doesnât get the reaction he expects. No snark, no glare, no half-assed insult thrown back at him. Just⊠silence. You donât even look at him. Something weird stirs in his chest, something unfamiliar and fucking irritating. It sits in the back of his throat, in the pit of his stomach, but he ignores itâbrushes it off like itâs nothing. He doesnât say another word for the rest of class.
â
By the time the second week of working with Sukuna rolls around, youâre wrecked. Sleep-deprived, overworked, running purely on caffeine and sheer spite. Between your job, your other classes, and this hellish project, there isnât a single moment to breathe. Youâve been taking shifts at work to make rent, pulling late nights cramming for exams, and somehow, despite your best efforts, Sukuna is still making your life miserable. The last thing you need is another study session with him. You drag yourself into the East Wing Library, exhausted and bitter about it. The East Wing is so far from your usual haunts, practically on the other side of campus, and the walk here in the late afternoon heat is hellish. You mumble complaints under your breath the entire wayâsomething about how your feet hurt, how this library is ugly anyway, how he shouldâve come to your spot insteadâbut you know Sukuna wonât care. He probably wonât even listen.
Sure enough, heâs already lounging at one of the study tables when you arrive, acting like heâs been here for hours when in reality, he probably sat down two minutes ago. Heâs slouched in his chair, all sprawled out and insufferable, wearing that same damn compression shirt that makes him look more like a gym rat than a student. His legs are spread so wide heâs practically taking up half the table. In fact, the table looks small compared to how long his legs are. You resist the urge to drop your bag onto his lap just to make him move. Instead, you sink into the chair across from him and immediately rest your forehead against your palm. âKill me,â you mutter.
Sukuna barely acknowledges you. âYou look like youâre already halfway there.â
You sigh heavily. You donât even have the energy to glare at him. âGee, thanks.â Heâs watching you. You can feel it. That lazy, assessing stare, like heâs about to say something thatâll make you want to slap him. Something thatâll make that weird, uncomfortable feeling go down your spine.
And thenâ
Nothing. You brace yourself for the insult, for the inevitable Damn, you look fucked up but it never comes. He just clicks his tongue, looking back at his laptop screen, eyebrows furrowed. You squint at him. Weird. But whatever. You donât have the time or patience to dissect the mysteries of Ryomen Sukunaâs behavior. You flip open your notes, rubbing at your eyes. âOkay, letâs just get this over with,â you mumble. âI still have an essay to write after this.â
Sukuna stretches, the fabric of his compression shirt shifting as he raises his arms above his head. His shirt rides up slightly, revealing a sliver of inked skin carved just above his hip. You donât mean to notice, but you doâbecause of course, heâs the type of asshole who shows off his tattoos like theyâre a personality trait. You snap your eyes away before he catches you looking. âRelax, woman,â he drawls, voice dripping with lazy amusement. âNo need to be so fucking tense.â
Your grip tightens around your pen. Woman? Again? You level him with an exasperated glare. âTense? Iâve been doing our project by myself while you sit on your ass, and Iâm the one whoâs tense?â You scoff. âAnd stop calling me woman, you sound like you get life advice from Andrew Tate.â That earns you a sharp, wolfish grin. âAre you not a woman?â he counters smoothly, tilting his head. Before you can answer, his eyes deliberately dropâslow, pointedâtrailing down to your chest. He doesnât even try to be subtle about it, and the sheer audacity of this man has you gaping at him, heat rushing to your face in a mixture of anger and secondhand embarrassment. Your jaw clenches, your hands curling into fists beneath the table. âAre you fucking serious?â you grit out, voice low and sharp.
Sukuna just smirks, lazy and unbothered, flicking his eyes back up to yours with a knowing look. âWhat? Just checking.â
You resist the urge to lunge across the table and strangle him on the spot. Just breathe. Donât get expelled for homicide.Â
âAlso, Andrew Tate? Seriously, woman? What, you think Iâd listen to a broke, bald bitch like him?â Sukuna leans forward, arms resting on the table, shoulders broad and imposing. âYouâve got some real shitty assumptions about me.â
âIâve got accurate assumptions about you,â you correct.
He just smirks. âYou say that like Iâve done nothing.â
You glare harder. âYou have done nothing.â
âHave I?â he challenges, cocking a brow. He tilts his laptop screen toward you, and there, staring back at you, is a shockingly filled-out document. Your eyes flicker across the paragraphsâcoherent, formatted, and even cited.
You blink. Pause. Stare at him like heâs just grown another head. Because for the past week, this man has contributed exactly two sentences to the project. ââŠAnd?â you say, deadpan. âWhat do you want? A gold star? A participation trophy?â Sukuna leans back, manspreading like the chair was custom-built just for him. âDonât need validation from you, sweetheart.â
âGood,â you shoot back. âBecause youâre not getting any.â He lets out an exaggerated sigh, rubbing a hand down his face like youâre the exhausting one here. âLook, I donât see what the big deal is. The projectâs coming along fine.â You inhale sharply. Count to five. Resist the urge to fling your notebook at his fat head. âItâs coming along fine because Iâve been doing all the work.â
Sukuna shrugs, unconcerned. âTeamwork makes the dream work.â You stare at him. A long, silent, murderous stare.Â
âYou make me wanna end my life,â you finally say, voice utterly devoid of emotion. He grins, teeth sharp and infuriating. âI know.â You exhale slowly through your nose, willing yourself not to commit homicide. Instead, you rub your temples and look back at your notes. âLetâs just finish this. I donât want to be here all night.â Sukuna hums, tapping at his laptop. âYou sound so eager to spend time with me. Desperate?â
âOh, absolutely,â you deadpan. âItâs the highlight of my week.â
âI knew it.â He smirks. âYou wanna spend the night with me, hmm? Naughty.â
You actually throw a pen at him this time. He dodges effortlessly, laughing under his breath. âFucking finally,â you mutter. âMaybe now youâll shutââ
âShhh!â
You both freeze. The librarianâan older woman with a stern face and sharp eyesâis glaring at you from the front desk. You and Sukuna exchange glances. âYouâre the one being loud,â you whisper harshly. Sukuna raises an eyebrow. âIâm the one being loud?â
âYes, youââ
âOut.â The librarianâs voice cuts through the air like a blade. You and Sukuna both go silent. And thenâ
ââŠShit,â Sukuna mutters, closing his laptop. You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. âYou are such a waste of time.â
âYeah, yeah.â He stands, stretching. âLetâs go, dumbass. You can yell at me somewhere else.â You glare at him as you gather your things. âI will be yelling at you somewhere else.â Sukuna smirks, shoving his hands into his pockets as he saunters toward the exit. âCanât wait.â You storm out of the library with Sukuna trailing behind you, still looking disgustingly relaxed for someone who just got thrown out of a public study space. You wish she had thrown him out alone. âDick,â you mutter under your breath, shoving your laptop into your bag as you walk. Your head throbs with exhaustion, and the last thing you need is him making this night even worse.
Behind you, Sukuna hums, amused. âYou say that like itâs a bad thing.â Your steps falter for half a second before you pick up the pace again. He, of course, notices. "You're so fucking touchy today," he drawls, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he strolls beside you, the very picture of unbothered arrogance. "On your period?" Your eye twitches. You suck in a sharp breath through your nose, gripping the strap of your bag so hard it might snap. "Okay, we're going to the study lounge near my dorm," you say, tone clipped.
Sukuna groans. Loudly. Like you're torturing him.Â
"The hell? Why?"
"Because you got us kicked out," you snap. "And we havenât even done half of what we were supposed to get through today." Sukuna clicks his tongue in irritation but doesnât argue further, shoving his hands into his pockets as he follows behind you. His pace is slower than yours, like this entire walk is beneath him, like heâs graciously putting up with it. You can practically feel his annoyance radiating off of him, thick and palpable in the evening air.
The east wing is far. Too far. Youâre used to it by nowâyour classes are scattered across campus, your dorm inconveniently placed, and your schedule an absolute disaster. Between balancing coursework, shifts at your part-time job, and somehow squeezing in study sessions, your days bleed into each other in a never-ending cycle of exhaustion. And because Sukunaâs the most infuriating person alive, heâs been forcing you to make this trek every damn day, dragging you out to the main library just so he can half-ass his way through this project in a space that he prefers. Youâve followed along because you refuse to let this assignment tank, but every second spent with him is another test of patience youâre not sure youâll pass. So when, predictably, about ten minutes into the walk, he lets out an exaggerated, loud huff of irritation, you already know something stupid is about to leave his mouth.
"Are we still walking?" he grumbles, scowling at the path ahead. "This is taking so fucking long." Your eye twitches. You keep walking, fists clenched at your sides, tryingâtryingâto ignore him. But he doesnât stop. Because of course he doesnât.
"This is stupid," he mutters. "Should've just stayed at the fucking library. Or better yet, we couldâve just worked at my placeâ"
And thatâs it. Thatâs the last straw. You snap.
"I do this every day because of you!"
The words come out harsher, sharper than you intended, but you donât care. You whirl around to glare at him, eyes blazing, voice rising louder than it should, this late at night. "You think this is taking too fucking long? You made me do this every night. You insisted on working at the damn library. You refuse to meet anywhere else because apparently, my dorm study lounge isnât good enough for you!" You huff out a breath, heart pounding in your chest. "So yeah, Sukuna, it is a long walk. And guess what? I do this every single day while you sit on your ass and complain!" Sukuna stops mid-step. His mouth is half-open, clearly ready to throw some cocky remark back at youâexcept nothing comes out. For once, heâs quiet. That, more than anything, unnerves you. But you donât stick around to decipher the look on his face. You turn back around and keep walking, jaw clenched, shoulders tense, because if you donât, you might actually lose your mind. And this project isnât worth a murder charge.
Sukuna watches as you keep walking, your back rigid with frustration, your fingers curled so tightly around the strap of your bag it looks like the only thing anchoring you upright. Itâs only now, in the dim glow of the overhead lights of the university hallways, that he actually sees you. The exhaustion carved deep into the lines of your face, etched into the tight pull of your brows and the faint downturn of your lips. The way your steps drag just slightly, like your body is moments away from giving in but you refuse to let it. The dark circles beneath your eyes, barely concealed by whatever concealer you mustâve swiped on this morning.Â
(Yes, you ended up feeling the tiniest bit hurt and put some on the next time you saw him)
You look tired. Not the kind of tired that comes from a late night or an early morning. No, this is the exhaustion that settles deep in your bones, that lingers even after youâve slept, the kind that never really leaves. And then thereâs something elseâsomething off. Itâs not like you to get this quiet after snapping at him. Normally, youâd keep going, pushing, throwing words at him like knives, sharp and ruthless, waiting for him to hurl them right back. Thatâs how itâs always been between you two. You say something snarky, he says something worse. You get pissed off, he laughs. Itâs a cycle. A game.
But right now? Right now, you donât fight. You donât even look at him. Sukuna exhales sharply through his nose, irritation flickering beneath his skinâbut itâs not directed at you. Not this time. He shoves his hands in his pockets, jaw clenching, his usual smirk nowhere to be seen. And for the rest of the walk, he doesnât say a word. No complaints. No grumbling. No sarcastic remarks. Just silence.
â
The place is smaller than the library, tucked into the corner of your dorm building, but at least itâs quiet. Fluorescent lights hum overhead, and only a few other students are scattered around, focused on their own work. You drop into a chair unceremoniously, opening your laptop with a sigh. Sukuna takes the seat across from you, stretching his legs out obnoxiously under the table until they almost bump into yours. You kick him. He smirks. âFeisty.â
"Shut up."
For the next half hour, you work in silence. Sukuna pretends to read something on his screen, but you can feel his eyes flicking to you every so often, assessing. You try not to think about it. Itâs quiet for a moment, and thenâ
"You formatted this wrong," he says. Your head snaps up. "What?" Sukuna tilts his screen toward you, pointing lazily at a section of your document. "The citation. APA, not MLA, genius." You stare at him, brows knitting together. "Why the hell do you know that?" Sukuna shrugs, leaning back in his chair. "What, you think you're the only one with a functioning brain?"
"Functioning is a strong word," you mutter, fixing the citation. He snorts, but then, because heâs him, he adds, âI mean, makes sense youâd fuck that up. You look half-dead.â Your eye twitches. "And you look like a walking midlife crisis, but you don't hear me pointing it out every two seconds." Sukuna grins, sharp and unrepentant. âLiar. You know I look good.â
âUgly.â
âSexy.â
"Say that again and I'll stab you with my pen."Â
Itâs late by the time you finally close your laptop, rubbing at your temples. The day has dragged on forever, and the last thing you want is to keep dealing with him. You shove your things into your bag, ready to leave, when Sukunaâstill leaned back in his chair, still looking infuriatingly relaxedâsays, "Tch. Whatever. Weâll just meet here next time." You pause. Blink at him. "Huh?" He doesnât look at you when he says it, like this entire conversation is so beneath him. "The hell, are you deaf? I said weâll just meet here next time. Less walking." You stare, uncertain of what to make of that. Of him saying anything at all.
Thenâ
"Uh. Okay," you mumble. Sukuna snorts, pushing himself up from his chair, rolling his shoulders like this entire night has been a mild inconvenience to him and nothing more. âTry not to die of exhaustion before then.â
You flip him off.
He grins.
â
The dorm study lounge in your building isnât anything specialâjust a couple of couches, a cluster of wobbly desks, and chairs that groan when anyone shifts. But itâs quiet, itâs close, and more importantly, itâs not the goddamn East Wing library. Youâre already seated with your laptop open when Sukuna strolls in like he owns the place, hoodie thrown over his shoulder, compression shirt clinging to him in that casually smug way that makes you want to set your notebook on fire.
âDamn. You live like this?â he says instead of greeting, glancing around at the peeling posters and flickering overhead light.
âYouâve been here three times now,â you mutter, not looking up. âGet over it.â To your surprise, he actually sits down and opens his laptop. No dramatic sighs, no drawn-out complaints. Just pulls up the shared doc and starts typing. You side-eye him suspiciously. âWait. Youâre actually doing work?â
Sukuna doesnât even look at you. âTold you Iâm not completely useless.â
âYou literally did none of the intro. Or the background research. Or theââ
He turns slightly, eyes narrowed. âJesus. You want me to write your acknowledgements too?â
You roll your eyes and keep typing, but you canât help the way your gaze flicks back to his screen every so often. Heâs doing it. Slowly, a little messily, but heâs actually doing the work. You hate how thatâs kind of impressive. The door creaks open an hour in and Toji saunters in with a protein bar in one hand and Choso trailing behind him, hoodie half-on like he got distracted putting it on. âYo,â Toji says, tossing himself onto the arm of your chair like thereâs no concept of personal space. âThis where the grindâs happening?âÂ
Choso raises a brow at Sukuna. âDidnât think you actually meant it when you said you were working on your project.â Sukuna scoffs, not even looking up from the screen. âDonât start.â They pull up chairs, half-invited, half-ignored. Somehow, you end up the only person who seems to be actually working while the other three devolve into semi-productive chaos. Eventually, the conversation driftsâlike it always does when boys are left alone with too much time and not enough supervision.
âYo, did you see that blonde on the cheer squad last game?â Toji starts, popping open a protein bar like itâs part of the ritual. âThe one with the ribbon thing in her hair. Face card was solid.â Choso smirks, still half-focused on his phone. âI think she followed me on Insta. Or her friend did. Canât tellâcheer girls got that same face filter thing going on.â
You hum under your breath, noncommittal. Youâve learned how to tune this out. Let the background noise of testosterone and ego bounce off while you focus on your screen. But thenâ
Choso glances up, flicking his gaze between you and Sukuna like heâs just had a thought worth sharing. âActually⊠Sukunaâs got the best deal out of all of us.â You pause your typing. Slightly. Toji quirks a brow. âHow you figure?â
âHe gets to sit across from her every day,â Choso says casually, jerking his chin in your direction. âDudeâs been staring at that face for what, like a week straight?â Your head snaps up. âExcuse me?â
Choso lifts both hands in mock surrender. âJust saying. When youâre not chewing him out, youâre actually kindaââ
He doesnât finish the sentence. Just gives a slow, meaningfully raised brow like the conclusion is obvious. Toji lets out a low whistle, the corner of his mouth twitching. âNo, waitâheâs right. Youâve got that whole mean girl, academic weapon, doesnât-look-up-in-lectures thing going on.â You just blink at them, caught somewhere between wanting to melt into your chair or hurl your laptop at both their heads. Sukuna, up until now half-listening while scrolling on his screen, exhales like this whole conversation is beneath him. âShut the fuck up.â His voice is flat. Lazy. Like he's bored with their entire existence. But his eyes flick upâand linger on you just a beat too long. Thereâs no smirk. No wink. Just that unreadable look again. Heavy-lidded. Slightly narrowed.
Toji raises a brow. âStruck a nerve?â Choso glances between you and Sukuna, curious now. âDamn. Didnât know you were the territorial type.â Sukuna doesnât even rise to it. Just drags a hand through his hair and mutters, âYou idiots hear yourselves talk?â That seems to be enough. Toji snorts and mutters a half-apology under his breath. âAlright, alright. Chill.â
Choso shrugs. âSheâs still bad though. No take-backs.â You clear your throat and mutter, âThanks⊠I guess?â
No one hears it except Sukuna, whose gaze shifts back to his laptopâbut his ears are slightly pink now. Not that heâd admit it. And just like that, the boys forget they ever had a filter. Theyâre back to talking about the football coach and some frat party coming up next weekend. You, meanwhile, keep your eyes glued to your screenâbut your skin feels hotter, like that look Sukuna gave you never quite left. You try to refocus on your screen, but your heartâs still thudding in your chest in a way you hate. You donât want to be flustered. Especially not over Sukuna, who has the emotional depth of a spoon. Still, when the session winds down and Toji and Choso finally get bored and wander off, Sukuna leans back and says, with the same bored tone he uses when talking about the weather, âIâll see you here again next week. Iâll finish up some of the work at my place before I come, so we donât hafta sit here on our asses long enough for these idiots to show up again.â
You blink. âUh⊠okay.â He doesnât wait for a response. Just slings his bag over his shoulder, walks off like he hasnât just stunned you into silence with the barest sliver of consideration, and mutters under his breath on the way out:
âBetter chairs anyway.â You stare after him. Annoyed. Confused. Unsettled. Slightly amused. And a little less sure about how much of a dick he really is.
â
Itâs been three weeks since you started meeting in the dorm buildingâs study lounge. The sessions are no less exhausting, but theyâve become⊠bearable. You still argue. Heâs still insufferable. But Sukuna actually does the work now. Not without the occasional passive-aggressive comment or that maddening little smirk when he catches you getting flustered. But he contributes. Sometimes he even takes initiativeâlike today, when you arrived and found heâd already opened the shared doc and annotated the latest journal article. Miracles, apparently, do happen.
You're both seated on opposite sides of the same table, a precarious peace holding between the clack of your keys and the scratch of his pen against paper. Sukuna's in a black hoodieâwhich really emphasises how broad his shoulders areâpaired with some low-slung sweatpants. Heâs got one leg up on the chair, knee almost brushing the tableâs underside, completely manspreaded in a way that takes up far more space than necessary. Typical. Youâve tuned it all out. Almost. The only sound in the lounge is the soft hum of the vending machine and the low rustle of paper. That is, until your phone buzzes.
You glance down.
[8:37 PM] Yuna:
pls tell me ur free next friday night frat party at Theta house i need a plus one u owe meee
You pause. Theta house. The name sparks something in your brainâa half-formed association, faint and unimportant until now. Youâve heard it muttered in passing, caught glimpses of its parties plastered all over peopleâs Instagram stories. Flashy. Loud. Too many red solo cups and too little self-respect. But more importantly: it rings a specific bell. Something familiar. Your eyes flicker back to the message on your screen, rereading Yunaâs plea. Your brows furrow. You bite the inside of your cheek, lips tugging downward as you try to decide if this is worth the impending social fatigue, or if you can just ghost her and fake a fever. Maybe a paper cut. Across the table, the scratch of pen on paper falters. You donât even notice until Sukunaâs voice cuts in, sharp and dry.Â
âWhatâre you making that face for?â he asks without looking up. Flat, disinterested, like your expression is an inconvenience. You blink, mildly startled. â...What face?â
âThat weird one.â He finally lifts his head, narrowing his eyes at you with vague irritation. âLike you just found out you forgot to pay your car registration or somethinâ.â Your mouth opens, closes. âItâs just a text,â you say eventually, letting out a quiet sigh as you flip your phone facedown. âMy friendâs dragging me to a frat party next week. She needs a plus-one.â At that, Sukuna stills. Not dramatically. Just... a subtle pause. His elbow stops bouncing. His pen hovers above the page.
âWhat frat?â he asks. The question is casual, but his gaze sharpens ever so slightly. You hesitate. ââŠTheta house. I think.â
He snorts. Loud and unmistakable. âThatâs mine.âÂ
Your head snaps up. âWhat?â
He leans back lazily, one arm thrown over the back of the chair, looking maddeningly relaxed. âTheta. Thatâs my frat. Toji, mine and Choâs. Didnât ya know? They were talkinâ about it before.â You blink, momentarily at a loss. The realization hits with a muted thudâof course. It all makes sense now. The flashy parties, the obnoxiously loud music every other weekend, the guys who walk around campus with too much cologne and too few responsibilities. Of course he lives there.
âOh,â you say finally. It hangs thereâawkward, brittle, like a glass ornament someone forgot to put away after Christmas. You both look back down at your notes, pretending the moment never happened. You reread the same sentence in your textbook three times and still canât register what it says. The silence isnât exactly uncomfortable, but it isnât comfortable either. Just... weird. Like thereâs something in the air that neither of you wants to acknowledge. Then, after a minute, Sukuna exhales slowly and leans further back in his seat.
âYou should swing by,â he says offhandedly. So casual it sounds like a throwaway line.
You glance up. âHuh?â
âThe party,â he says, eyes flicking briefly toward you, then back to the ceiling. âYour friendâs already going. Might as well.â You study him. His expression is unreadableâcalm, indifferent. No trace of smugness, no expectation behind the offer. Itâs almost too nonchalant. Like he wouldnât care either way. You narrow your eyes a little. âAre you⊠inviting me?â
He shrugs. âYouâre not special. Iâm inviting everyone.â Your lips twitch at that, but you donât call him out. âRight. Of course.â
Still, you hear your voice soften slightly.Â
âIâll think about it.â
Sukuna hums in response, eyes drifting downwardâright to your hoodie, baggy enough to cover you from neck to knee, sleeves tugged over your hands. You can practically see the judgment forming. âJust donât show up dressed like this,â he mutters, the corner of his mouth twitching. You snort before you can stop yourself. A short, surprised laugh bursts out of you. âSeriously?â
He gives you a deadpan look. âItâs a party, not a cult meeting.â You raise your brows, amused. âClearly, you donât know me at all if you think I dress like this everywhere.â Sukuna tilts his head, studying you like you just issued a challenge. âSo you do have real clothes.â
âIâm a woman of mystery,â you say smugly, folding your arms. âYou donât get to know.â A rare smirk twitches onto his faceâbrief, dry, almost like heâs trying not to be amused. âThat sounds like a yes.â You roll your eyes, grabbing your highlighter again. âFocus on organic chemistry, casanova.â
He chuckles under his breath but doesnât argue, returning to his notes. The mood shifts againâeasy now, fluid in a way you didnât expect. The banter lingers, like a residue in the air, and for once, you donât feel like youâre dodging landmines when you speak. You work in silence for a while longer, but itâs not the same brittle quiet from before. Itâs something softer. Settled. And maybeâfor just a secondâit doesnât feel like youâre enemies anymore. Not friends, either. But not enemies. When you finally pack up for the night, Sukuna doesnât say anything. He just slings his bag over his shoulder, glances at you once, then jerks his chin toward the door like letâs go. You fall into step beside him, not speaking, the click of the lounge door swinging shut behind you. You donât even know how it happened. How somehow he waited for you by the staircase that led up to your dorms before departing back to where he lived. The hallway is quiet. The air, cool and crisp, smells faintly of late-night ramen and floor cleaner. You say nothing. But somehow, that moment stretches longer than it should. And it stays with you. All the way back to your dorm.
â
âYuâ I donât know,â you say, pulling at one of the spaghetti straps of your top and glancing at your reflection in her full-length mirror, âI like wearing shit like this but⊠donât you think itâs too much for a frat party?â Your voice comes out unsure, tinged with that all-too-familiar pre-party doubt that creeps in five minutes before youâre supposed to leave. Youâre still adjusting the fabric over your chestâthis stupid, tiny top that clings a little too perfectly to your figure, exposing just enough skin to make you question if youâll even make it through the front door without second-guessing everything. The bra underneath? Completely unintentional. You didnât even mean to match itâhad just grabbed something clean and vaguely push-up-ish from the drawer, but of course, it had to be your most expensive set. Lacy, pink, and not remotely subtle. Victoriaâs Secret, you realize with mild betrayal, had made your boobs look criminally good. Like, pause-a-manâs-conversation good.
The top itself wasnât the issueâit was cropped, sure, but cute. Flimsy fabric and soft color, something you could probably dress down if you were pairing it with anything other than this damn skirt. The skirt was what had you feeling like you were in over your head. And it wasnât even yours. It was Yunaâs. A distressed, light-wash denim mini that was practically a belt. It hugged every curve, curved a little more than you were used to, and sat low enough on your hips to make you feel a tiny bit scandalous with every breath. If you shifted too fast, it felt like itâd ride up and expose everything. And with the panties that came with your VS setâthin, lacy, and technically classified as lingerieâyou felt dangerously close to flashing someone if the wind so much as thought about picking up.
âI look like Iâm trying to seduce someoneâs dad,â you mutter.
âOh my god,â Yuna gasps from behind you, eyes wide as she stops in her tracks. âYou look so fucking hot. Iâm not hearing any complaints about this.â She spins you around, hands on your shoulders as she takes in the full outfit like sheâs styling you for a Vogue shoot. Her perfectly manicured fingers trail to the hem of your skirt, and with a gleam in her eye, she gives your butt a dramatic, playful slap.
You glare at her. âCan you not grope me right now?â
âSorry,â she says, completely unapologetic. âYou just look so good. Like, painfully good. Likeââoops, I just made that guy trip over a keg because I walked byâ good.â You attempt to give her your best unimpressed stare, but itâs hard to hold when she looks that excitedâand especially when sheâs standing there in a sparkly, strapless top thatâs practically glued to her skin and a skirt shorter than yours. Not to mention the rhinestone eyeliner and lip gloss she reapplied twice already. You sigh, defeated, because if she looked hot, and you looked hot, maybe it wasnât the worst idea to just embrace it.
âUgh, okay, fine,â you mutter. âYou look sexy too.â
âSo do you,â she grins, squeezing your wrist before spinning toward the mirror to grab her purse. âWeâre gonna be the baddest bitches there.â
You snort. âThatâs not exactly a high bar. I saw someone show up to one of these in a Pikachu onesie.â
âExactly,â she says, throwing a jacket over her shoulder. âWeâll be legends by comparison.â Despite yourself, you laughâand when you turn back to the mirror, something about the reflection feels less terrifying than it did five minutes ago. The outfit was bold, sure. But with Yuna beside you, her energy electric and effortless, you could feel yourself slipping into that mindset, too. The one where you were allowed to be hot without apologizing for it. You slip on your shoes, grab your phone, and follow Yuna out of the dorm. The hallwayâs quiet, dimly lit with that weird yellow lighting all college buildings have after 10 PM. You both walk down to the street where your Uber is already waiting, music faintly thumping from the frat row just a few blocks away. And for once, youâre not dreading it. Youâre a little nervous, maybe. But with your favorite person beside you, in outfits that could start wars, heading into a night with no plans other than chaosâyouâre ready.
The Uber ride is a blur of Yunaâs makeup touch-ups, last-minute accessory debates, and Spotify blaring a throwback remix that has both of you scream-singing the chorus. The nerves in your stomach ease up a little more with each passing minute. Maybe itâs the way Yuna keeps hyping you up or how good the outfit actually looks under the glow of the passing streetlightsâbut by the time the car pulls up in front of Theta house, youâre no longer on the verge of changing outfits or ghosting the night entirely. The frat house looms ahead like every other frat house youâve ever seenâloud music already spilling out from the open door, string lights tangled across the porch, people clustered out front with red cups in hand like itâs a high school movie come to life. You can hear someone whoop as a beer pong shot lands across the front lawn, and someone else yells âTake it off!â from an upstairs window.Â
Yunaâs eyes sparkle. âHome sweet home,â she says, linking her arm through yours. Inside, itâs chaoticâbut weirdly cozy. Warm. The air smells like cheap beer, cologne, and weed, the floors already sticky under your heels. Thereâs a crowd around the living room-turned-dance-floor, another bottlenecking at the kitchen where a keg is set up beside a counter full of jungle juice and liquor. You spot a couple of people you vaguely know from class or mutuals through Yunaâmost of them already tipsy, greeting her with hugs and loud compliments. Someone hands you a drink you donât ask for, and you take it anyway, sipping something vaguely fruity and deceptively strong. The thrum of music settles in your chest, rattling the floorboards beneath your feet, and for the first time in weeksâmaybe even monthsâyou feel something close to relaxed. Youâre halfway to the kitchen to grab a chaser when it happens.
You turn a corner and bump into someoneâshoulder to chest. Solid. Firm. Tall enough that you instinctively glance up before you even register who it is.
Sukuna. He looks down at you, expression unreadable for a momentâuntil his eyes very obviously drop from your face to the low neckline of your top. And linger. Thereâs the barest flicker of somethingâsurprise? amusement?âin his eyes, but itâs gone too fast to confirm. You step back, blinking. âOh my god. You are so weird.â
He lifts a brow. âExcuse me?â
âYouâre literally checking me out like Iâm a Victoriaâs Secret window display,â you deadpan, tugging your top slightly higherânot that it helps much.
âYou wore that and expected no one to look?â he says, voice dry and annoyingly smooth. His eyes flick lazily down again. âAlso, hate to break it to you, but your braâs doing a lot of heavy lifting right now.â
You scoff. âYouâre actually such a freak.â He shrugs, tilting the water bottle in his hand toward you. âNot denying it.â Youâre about to roll your eyes and walk away, but then he says itâso nonchalantly it barely registers at first.
âYou look nice, though.â
You freeze mid-step.
ââŠWhat?â
His mouth quirks up slightly, like he didnât just toss a grenade into the conversation. âYou heard me.âÂ
You stare at him, trying to gauge if heâs mocking you. But thereâs no smug grin, no teasing lilt. Just that lazy drawl, that unreadable expression that always keeps you guessing. You fold your arms, shifting your weight to one hip. âWell,â you say slowly, âclearly you donât know what to do when Iâm not wearing my usual two layers of oversized fabric.â
Sukuna snorts. âThought you were gonna roll up in your campus hoodie again. Kind of a shame, actually. I miss how it swallowed your whole body. You looked like a walking laundry pile.â
âWow,â you deadpan. âThatâs the nicest thing anyoneâs ever said to me.â
âI try.â
You take a slow sip from your drink, hiding the small grin tugging at your lips. âSo this is what youâre like when youâre not being the biggest dick on the planet.â
âIâm not the biggest dick, although Iâd say I have the biggest dickâ he retorts with a snicker. âYouâre just distracting now.â
You blink. âDistracting?â
He shrugs again, way too casual about the whole thing. âYou look good. Iâm not blind.â You glance around to make sure no oneâs listening, then mutter, âYouâre way more tolerable when thereâs alcohol involved.â
âYeah?â He raises an eyebrow. âYouâre way more tolerable when youâre not scowling at me for breathing too loud.â You glare. âThat happened once.â
âIt happened twice.â
âOnce,â you insist.
He just smirks and takes a sip from the water bottle in his hands. His gaze flicks past you, toward the hallway, and he jerks his chin slightly. âCome on. Iâll introduce you to some people who wonât talk about your bra.â You narrow your eyes. âIs that your idea of an apology?â
He smirks again, already walking off. âTake it or leave it.â You roll your eyes and followâonly because your drinkâs almost empty and the kitchenâs in that direction anyway. Obviously. And maybeâjust maybeâbecause being around him like this, when heâs not being a complete jackass, isnât the worst thing in the world. At least not tonight. Sukuna leads you through the crowd like heâs done this a million times beforeâwhich he probably has. You catch a couple of people eyeing him as he walks by, and you wonder if itâs because heâs hot or because he radiates that unapproachable energy like itâs cologne.
âThis isâŠ?â someone asks when you both approach a small group gathered around a tall keg table. He jerks a thumb toward you lazily. âMy chem partner.â You resist the urge to roll your eyes at the title. âHi,â you say instead, a little wave as you flash a quick grin.
âYo, youâre in Shimizuâs class too? That womanâs a menace.â
âTell me about it,â you groan. âI swear she adds extra steps to procedures just for fun.â Someone laughs. âYou actually talk to her? I just fake nod through half of her lectures.â You slip into conversation easily after that, bouncing off the group's energy. Youâve always been extroverted when youâre comfortable, and itâs oddly easy here, surrounded by strangers who are just buzzed enough to be nice. Itâs even easier when you catch Sukuna watching the group banter from a short distance, sipping from his water bottle again, his expression unreadable. You break away to get another drink, winding toward the makeshift bar on the patio. The music's loud, the air sticky with alcohol and cologne, and just as you reach for a clean cup, a shoulder brushes into yours.
âShitââ
You turn, and there he is again. Ryomen Sukuna. Up close this time. âJesus, what is your problem?â you mutter, looking up at him. âDo you teleport?â He looks unfazed. âYou walked into me.â
You snort. âYou walked into me.â
He doesnât argue. Just leans slightly back and lets his eyes flick down, over your outfit, andâyep. Not subtle. Not even trying to be. Your eyes narrow.Â
âYouâre such a creep. I donât care if Iâm slightly drunk, I can definitely tell youâre staring at my boobs.â He scoffs, openly amused. âWell, sorry. Iâm a man. And those are practically fighting for their lives in that top.â You gasp, smacking his arm. âYouâre disgusting.â
He shrugs. âAnd youâre the one who wore it. Donât act surprised people are looking.â You roll your eyes but the corner of your mouth twitches. âWhatever. At least I can pull it off.â
âWho said you couldnât?â
You pause for half a second too long. Then you glare. âYouâre pissing me off.â
âAnd youâre drunk,â he retorts, smirking.
âIâm not drunk yet. Youâd know if I was drunk.â
âOh?â He raises a brow. âWhat, do you start crying or something?â
âNo,â you scoff. âI just get⊠more honest.â
âTerrifying.â You give him a sweet smile thatâs anything but. âWhat, afraid Iâll hurt your little ego?â He looks down at youâreally looks. Like he's taking in the pink flush in your cheeks, the glint in your eye, the way you don't back down even when heâs standing so damn close.
âNah,â he says. âMy egoâs huge.â
You blink. â...Thatâs not as reassuring as you think it is.â
He laughs, low and dry, then tilts his bottle at you in mock cheers before walking off again. You stand there for a moment, a little dazed, before grabbing another drink. Eventually, a while later, you find your way back to Yuna, whoâs already three sips away from shouting compliments at strangers. She gasps when she sees you. âBabe. Baby girl. My precious. Did I just see you with Sukuna?â
You blink. âYeah, why?â
âYou know him?â
âWeâre in the same chem class,â you mutter, sipping your drink. âGroup project.â Yuna grabs your arm. âAnd you didnât say anything?â You eye her suspiciously. âSay what?â
âThat heâs literally the hottest man on this campus?!â You make a face. âHeâs not that hot.â Yuna gives you a look like sheâs been personally offended. âYouâre lying to yourself. Also, you two have like, that weird tension. Itâs kind of hot.â
You groan. âYunaââ
âJust fuck him.â
âWhat is wrong with you?â
She only cackles in response before she gets whisked away by a guy whoâs clearly her on-again-off-again situationship. She doesnât even look guilty as she leans in to whisper something to him. A few minutes later, you get the text.
sorry i love u but iâm gonna go with him ok iâll send u money for an uber ily donât die xx
You stare at the message, swaying slightly on your stool. The room blurs a little when you blink. You swipe over to the Uber app. Try to log in. Error. Try again. Error. The third time your phone crashes entirely and you groan, bracing your elbow on the edge of the bar counter and burying your face in your hand. Your heels are starting to hurt and you can already feel tomorrowâs hangover tap dancing in your brain.
âYou good?â
You lift your head slowly. And of course. Of course. Itâs Sukuna again. Leaning one arm against the edge of the bar like heâs been summoned by your suffering. âYouâre like a cockroach,â you mutter. âYou just keep showing up.â
He grins lazily. âStill here?â
âYeah, unfortunately. My friend ditched me and my Uber appâs being a little bitch.â He hums, gaze flicking over your glazed expression, your flushed cheeks. âYou look like youâre about to pass out.â
âI might,â you admit. âIf I donât cry first.âÂ
Thereâs a beat of silence before he says, âIâll drop you off.â You blink. âWhat? No. Youâve been drinking.â
âI havenât. Canât have everyone in the frat house drunk. Someoneâs gotta babysit these idiots.â You blink again, the lag in your brain buffering like bad Wi-Fi. â...You?â
âYeah, me. Shocking.â
âYou know where I live?â
âYou told me. Last week. After lab.â
You squint at him. âI donât remember that.â
âYeah, well, I remember everything.â
âEw.â
He just stares at you, expectant, one brow cocked like heâs got all the time in the world.
You exhale dramatically. âFine. But if you kill me Iâm haunting your frat house.â
âI welcome it. Itâs been boring lately.â
âFreak.âÂ
He smirks and plucks your phone straight from your hands to toss it into your purse, ignoring the half-hearted slap you aim at his wrist.
âCome on.â You groan, dragging yourself off the barstool, your legs not cooperating in the slightest. Your heels were cute in theoryâsilver with a tiny bow on the back and barely any support. Very much not made for trudging across dark college lawns and cracked sidewalks. You follow him out, still kind of mad at the universe for letting your Uber app crash. He opens the door like it's nothing, like heâs a gentleman or somethingâgrossâand the cold night air wraps around your skin instantly. As it does, you swear you hear him mutter something. You turn, squinting through the haze. âWhat?â
âNothing.â But it wasnât nothing. It was something. And you're drunk, but not that drunk. It sounded suspiciously like you look pretty tonight. But you donât say anything, just frown and follow him out into the night. Until you realize heâs not heading toward the street. Heâs heading toward the back lot. Behind the frat house.Â
You pause. âWaitâwhere the hell is your car?â
âOther side,â he says, without slowing.
âWhat do you mean other side?â
âI live here, dumbass. The resident lot is across the quad.â
âAre you kidding me?â You groan. âMy feet are going to fall off.â
âShouldnâtâve worn stripper heels.â
âShouldnâtâve been born with a stick up your ass.â He snorts, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his hoodie as he walks ahead of you, like he's not dealing with a barely coherent girl in a miniskirt and heels struggling to walk in a straight line. You try to keep up, but the lawn dips, uneven and soft, and your ankle rolls slightly to the side. Your foot catches. Your knee gives out. And suddenly youâre stumbling, arms flailing, balance goneâYou land hard on your ass with a sharp oof.
âFUCK,â you hiss, grabbing your ankle, already feeling the sting. You stay there a second, stewing, overwhelmed and overstimulatedâthe lights from the party still flickering behind your eyelids, your chest heaving from the sudden jolt, your mouth dry and head spinning. âYou good?â Sukunaâs voice comes from somewhere above you, way too calm for someone whose lab partner just ate shit in front of him. âNo, Iâm not fucking good,â you snap, scowling up at him. âMy feet are bleeding, my brain is melting, and your car is apparently in Narnia.â
âYouâre so dramatic.â
âYouâre such a dick!â
âJesus Christ,â he mutters, suddenly stepping closer. âJustâfuck it.â You barely register him moving before thereâs a sudden shift in gravity and your world tips sideways.
He scoops you up like itâs nothing.
Bridal style.
Your arms instinctively hook around his neck as you squeak, instinctively clinging to his hoodie as your legs leave the ground. âWhat the fuck are you doing?!â you yell, even though your voice comes out way too breathless to be convincing.
âCarrying you. Because youâre useless.â
âPut me down!â
âNo.â
Your mouth opens to protest again, but your brain short-circuits becauseâ
His hand. One of themâlarge, warm, callousedâis curled under your thighs, gripping firmly but not rough, fingers splayed slightly against the bare skin between your skirt and where your panties ride up your ass. But itâs the other hand that breaks your brain. Itâs pressed right beneath your chest, right where the thin fabric of your top clings to your ribs. His knuckles graze the underside of your boob with each step. Not on purpose. Probably. Hopefully. But your body registers every tiny movement, every bounce and shift. Your breath stutters, nipples tightening under the lace, andâ
God, you need to shut your brain off. He smells like expensive cologne and weed and something darkerâmusk and leather and sweat. The hoodie under your palm is worn soft, like he's had it for years, and his chest is so warm against your arm itâs making you feel dizzy. You go quiet. Not because you want to, but because your mouth wonât work right. He notices. âWhat, no snarky comment? Are you dying?â
âJust⊠conserving energy,â you mumble, trying to ignore the way your head is now resting against his shoulder, half from exhaustion, half because it feels nice there.Â
âShame. I was enjoying the sound of you bitching.â He makes it to his carâa black â09 Civic parked in the furthest back rowâand sets you down gently, like you're glass. Which somehow feels even more ridiculous than being carried. You try to get your balance again, but before you can even reach down, he crouches and grabs your ankle.
âHeyâwhat are youââ
Heâs already unbuckling your heel. âYour feet are bleeding,â he mutters, slipping it off carefully. Then the other. âWhy are girls like this?â
âBecause we suffer for fashion,â you reply, watching as he sets them neatly in the footwell of the passenger side. âIdiots,â he mutters, straightening and helping you into the seat. The door is still open as he leans in and buckles you up, the seatbelt snapping into place just under your chest.
âDonât look at my tits,â you mumble, half-asleep, half-defensive.
âIâm not looking.â
âYou are. Youâve been staring all night, you absolute perv. I might be drunk but Iâm not blind.â He sighs, shuts the door, walks around to the driverâs side, and slides in beside you. The carâs interior is cool and clean and smells like the same cologne thatâs still clinging to him. Once the engineâs on and the headlights glow, he glances over at you.
âSorry Iâm a man. My bad.â
âYou are bad. And thatâs not an excuse.â
âAnd yet here you are,â he drawls, pulling out of the lot, his hand casual on the wheel, the other resting lazily on the gear shift. His thighs spread slightly as he adjusts, and you donât mean to look butâ
Yeah. No. Youâre drunk. Because thereâs no way youâre checking out his hands or his stupid muscular legs or the way his jaw clenches every time he shifts gears. Absolutely no way. You fold your arms and press your forehead against the window, trying to cool your cheeks down, but it doesnât work. The drive is short. He doesnât play music. Just lets the silence sit, and somehow itâs not awkward. Just⊠quiet. Kinda warm. When he pulls up in front of your dorm, he doesnât speak right away. Just sits there for a second. You turn to him slowly. âThanks⊠for not letting me pass out in a bush or get murdered.â
He shrugs. âWouldâve ruined my grade if you died.âÂ
You scoff. âSo romantic.â
A pause. His eyes flick to yours, and his voice drops just a bit.
âYouâre welcome.âÂ
And you donât know why, but that makes your stomach flip a little. You nod, mumble something incoherent, and go to open the door. But he stops you, reaching across you suddenly to grab your purse from the floor. His arm brushes your chest again and you freeze. He pretends not to notice. But the corner of his mouth twitches. He hands you your bag without a word, and you climb out, the night air immediately biting your skin. As you shut the door and start toward your building, you hear his voice behind youâlow, amused, maybe even a little genuine.
âGet home safe, dumbass.â
You turn over your shoulder.
âNight, perv.â Then you're gone. And his car stays parked for a few more seconds than it needs to.
â
It starts slow. Just like always, you two keep meeting up for study sessions, mostly in the same tucked-away campus library room. And technically youâre still working on your project. There's still the usual back-and-forth, the occasional threat of flinging a pen at his head, and your ever-reliable "God, you're so annoying" whenever he pushes too far. But something's changed. Some invisible shift. Like the night of the frat party cracked something open. You still bicker, still throw jabs like it's oxygen, but nowâ
Thereâs laughter. Actual laughter. From you. And snickering from him, like heâs low-key delighted when you call him a dickhead with that little smile twitching at the corner of your mouth. Now he leans closer than necessary when youâre reading. His arm brushes yours and he doesnât move. His eyes linger on your mouth when you talk and when you call him on it, he just shrugs and says, âSorry, your lip gloss is distracting.â You throw your pen at his forehead. He catches it without looking. You start referring to the group project as our child, and he calls himself the hot absentee father. You start keeping a tally of how many times he sighs dramatically when he doesn't get the answer before you. He keeps a separate one of how many times you chew your pen cap when youâre stressed and says itâs âborderline erotic.â
âI will murder you,â you say sweetly.
"That's what makes it erotic," he replies. But itâs not just that. Thereâs more. Quieter things. One time, he walks in late with two iced coffees and just drops one in front of you without a word, like itâs normal now. (It becomes normal. He starts bringing snacks too. Sometimes even the weird granola bars you said once in passing that you liked.) When youâre tired, he starts reading sections aloud to you in a voice that's somehow both mocking and comforting. When you're scribbling notes and your pen runs out, he's already tossing you a spare. And eventuallyâ
You exchange numbers.
Itâs just for âconvenience,â you both claim. So you can update each other on meeting times. So he can send you stupid memes related to your topic. So you can text him "you forgot the rubric again, dumbass" when he shows up with nothing but a Monster and the same black hoodie heâs worn four sessions in a row. You never call each other, of course. Not yet. But the texts get more frequent. More casual. Sometimes youâre not even talking about the project. Sometimes itâs just:
You: tell toji to stop calling me your lil nerd wife Sukuna: donât flatter urself. he called u my leashYou: even worse?? Sukuna: not to me đ
And one day, you're the first to arrive. Youâre early, even. Kinda excited to see him, which you don't interrogate too hard because you're a busy girl with academic priorities and definitely not thinking about his stupid shoulders lately. So you sit. And wait. Ten minutes pass. Then fifteen. Finally, you send a text.
You: where u at bruh wtf im already here
Thereâs a delay. Then your phone buzzes. Itâs a photo. A mirror selfie. Gym bathroom. Fluorescent lighting. Heâs shirtlessâno, wait, technically his shirt is in his mouth, bitten between his teeth. His abs are cut like they were designed in a lab. Thereâs a sheen of sweat on his chest, and the pinkest hint of a happy trail disappearing into black shorts. And godâ the tattoos that intricately line his hips, and youâre ashamed that youâre zooming in to see them a bit more clearly. Tojiâs in the background throwing up a peace sign and smirking like a menace. And the caption?
Sukuna: gym
You stare at your screen like it personally offended you. Because okay. Fine. You tolerate him now. You maybe even like him a little. Like, as a person. As in, you donât fantasize about choking him out every time he opens his mouth. Thatâs progress. But nothingânothingâcould have prepared you for the way your stomach plummets at that photo.
Itâs shameful, really. Youâre sitting alone in the study room, already annoyed that heâs late, your phone clenched in one hand and your cold coffee sweating on the table. You only texted him out of impatience, fully expecting some lame excuse. And instead, you get that. His abs are right there. Cut. Sharp. Obscene. His happy trail is a faint pink stripe leading down, dusted just enough to make your thighs clench, and you hate yourself for it. Your face heats so fast you think you might spontaneously combust. You look around the room like someone else might have seen it, like that would somehow make this a shared crime and not just your own private downfall. You blink at the photo. Then again. Then you lock your phone. Then unlock it.
You type.
Delete.
Type again.
Backspace halfway. Then finally give in and hit send.
You: keep those freaky selfies to urself bro Sukuna: u sure? u stared at that one a little too long You: YOU CANT SEE ME Sukuna: can feel it tho You: ew Sukuna: ur welcome
You throw your phone face down on the table like it just slapped you. He shows up twenty minutes later. Hair still damp, gym bag slung over one shoulder, hoodie half on, clinging to the edge of his frame like it was trying to slide off. Thereâs still that smug grin curling on his lips like he knows exactly what heâs doing. You donât even say hi. You just cross your arms and raise your brows as he strolls in like he owns the place.
âI said keep the thirst traps to yourself, gym rat.â
He collapses into the chair next to you, legs spread way too wide, stretching his arms back behind his head with a low groan like heâs been working so hardâand the motion tugs his hoodie just enough for you to catch a flash of skin. A line of muscle. That stupid V again. âThirst trap?â he echoes, voice low and lazy. âNah. That was community service.â
You make a show of rolling your eyes, flipping a page in your notes. âYouâre disgusting.â He leans over, chin propped in his hand, eyes glittering with something sharp and amused. âCâmon,â he says, his voice dropping, thick and playful, âyouâre telling me you didnât like it?â You donât answer. He grins like thatâs an answer. Then, slow and deliberate, he leans back againâslouches down in the chair like he owns it, hands behind his head, and lets his hoodie inch up. Not a lot. Just enough. Enough to show the ridges of his abs. The line of his hipbones. The tattoos. The happy trail, pink and soft and infuriating, peeking above the waistband of his shorts like he planned this entire thing. Like this is a setup and you walked into it willingly. âSure about that?â he murmurs, eyes heavy-lidded and watching you now. You make a strangled sound in your throat and smack a folder in front of your face.
âYou are so weird,â you mutter from behind it. He laughs. Real, deep, warm. And you hate the way it makes something loosen in your chest. And it keeps happeningâthese strange, flirty little moments you donât know how to explain. He starts texting you just to annoy you. You start sending him selfies of your weird coffee orders with captions like for our child (the project). He calls you baby mama when you least expect it and winks every time you make eye contact. And maybe the worst part?
You start dressing better. Not for him, obviously. Thatâd be dumb. Itâs just⊠youâre a girl. Sometimes you want to look cute. Sometimes you want to wear something other than an oversized hoodie and leggings. So you start showing up in cropped tops. In fitted shirts. In actual shorts when it's warm out. Sometimes you evenâGod forbidâdo your hair. Not for him, of course. Except... he notices. Youâre bent over your laptop one afternoon when you catch him staring again. Not like heâs trying to be subtle. He leans back in his chair, arms crossed, smirking lazily.
âWhat?â you say, defensive.
âYou look good,â he says, so bluntly it makes you blink. Then, almost offhand: âBut I liked when you wore those weird baggy clothes, too.â You snort. And suddenly the words tumble from your mouth, words you didnât expect to say at all.
âYeah? Didnât you say the project would be easier if I was hot?â
His smirk falters for the first time. He pauses. Thenâquietly, sincerely, and in that very Sukuna wayâhe says, âYeah, well. I lied about that to piss you off. Obviously.âÂ
A beat.
âYouâre touched in the head if you donât think youâre hot.â You go quiet. The air goes weird againâthick and strange and soft around the edges. You blink down at your notes, unsure what to say. Then, like itâs nothing, he shrugs. âAlso⊠sorry. About that. And all the other comments. Shouldnâtâve said that shit.â
You glance at him. Heâs not looking at you. Just fiddling with the ring on his finger like heâs not even sure if he meant to say it out loud. You swallow. Your stomach flips. Something tender and unfamiliar blooms in your chest. Then, because you canât handle the softness, you bump his foot under the table and mumble, âYouâre still annoying.â He grins like heâs won something. You work in silence after thatâyour legs stretched out, your ankles resting comfortably on his lap. He doesnât move them. Just shifts to make space. At one point he starts absently tracing circles on your sock with one finger. And you donât move either. You just let it happen. Because whatever this isâitâs not nothing anymore. Itâs weird and slow and unfolding. Itâs not sharp like it used to be. Itâs soft. Itâs warm.
And you donât know what this thing is. Not yet. But itâs something. Itâs teasing and warm and slow and building. Itâs softer around the edges now. His glances linger longer. His jokes donât always have a bite. He starts giving you the better chair. He moves his laptop so you can stretch your legs out and rest your ankles on his lap like itâs no big deal. He taps your water bottle when you forget to drink. He waits for you after class sometimes now. He starts noticing things. When youâre tired. When youâve skipped lunch. When your legâs bouncing under the table and youâre clearly spiraling about a deadline. He just reaches over and taps your water bottle. âDrink something. You look like youâre about to combust.â
And one day you realizeâ
Youâre not dressing better because you feel like it. Youâre dressing better because something inside you wants him to look at you. Want him to notice. Wants him to sit across from you with his dumb jawline and his pretty mouth and his stupid gaze and look. Like he sees you. And he does. Itâs horrifying. And kind of thrilling. You donât say anything. You just keep showing up. You let your shirts fit a little tighter. Your hair falls a little smoother. You wear that one necklace that always rests right at the tops of your chest. You tell yourself itâs fine. Itâs nothing.
â
The last few weeks of the semester come fast and loud. Finals hang heavy in the air, coffee-fueled library sessions and group study chaos around every corner, but somehow, Sukuna still finds a way to plant himself next to you in every single lecture. Literally. He doesnât even ask anymoreâjust drops into the seat beside you like itâs his birthright. Kicks his legs out wide under the desk, slumps dramatically back in the seat, leans over with that lazy, smug-ass voice to ask if you did the pre-lecture reading (you did, obviously; he did not, obviously). Sometimes he brings snacks. One time, it was gummy worms. Another time, chips he smuggled in the sleeve of his hoodie like a middle schooler. He offered you one and you made a face but still took it. He grinned.Â
Your chem project is basically wrapped up. Youâre in editing and final-presentation mode now, which somehow translates to even more time together. Study sessions have blurred into hangouts, your text convos half-project, half weird jokes and chaotic memes. He still calls you namesâairhead, goblin, menaceâbut sometimes his voice gets soft when he does. He still teases you, but the silences in between stretch warm and easy. So when youâre walking out of a bookstore downtown one Saturday afternoon and spot him across the street, itâs almost normal. Heâs with Toji and Choso, the three of them leaning against a car like theyâre posing for some kind of delinquent calendar. Sukuna clocks you first. His eyes catch on you, and he lifts his hand in a lazy, beckoning wave.
You cross the street.
He smirks. "Didnât know you had business on this side of town. What, you stalking me now?" You roll your eyes. "Relax. I was running errands. Thereâs a stationery shop over there that sells the pens I like."
"Nerd," Choso says, but he sounds kind of fond. Toji just nods like, fair. Sukuna tilts his head. "You taking the bus back?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Itâs getting dark," he says like itâs a passing observation. Then, in that dry, effortless way: "You look like a perfect kidnapping target. All spaced out and clueless. Câmere, little lamb."
You gape. "Okay well youâre the type of person to be the one doing the kidnapping."
"Uh-huh. Get in. Iâll drive you."
Youâre protesting before he even finishes the sentence. But Toji just shrugs, opens the passenger door for you like this is something heâs used to, and Chosoâs already climbing into the back. You sigh and slide in, heart pounding for reasons you refuse to name. The drive starts off easy. After a while, he drops off both Choso and Toji to the gymâ where they were apparently headed for an evening grind session. Spending time with these three makes you think that the gym might be their second home besides the frat house where they live. You lean your head against the window, watching the city pass by in a blur of dusk and brake lights. But traffic hits near campusâan accident or something up aheadâand the car slows to a crawl.
You sigh, long and dramatic, throwing your head back against the seat. âWell. Looks like weâre stuck.â Sukuna shoots you a flat look, one hand tapping the wheel while the other lazily rests across his lap. âIncredible deduction, Sherlock. What gave it away? The line of cars stretching into the abyss?â
You flip him off without looking. âIâm putting on music.â
He sits up a little straighter. âDonât you dare play weird indie-girl shit.â Youâre already unlocking your phone, smug. âToo late.â And then it beginsâthose soft, dreamy guitar chords of She Wonât Go Away, spilling out through the car speakers like a bubble bath in audio form. Sukuna visibly flinches.
âWhat the fuck is this?â he groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. âThis sounds like it belongs in a movie montage of someone getting dumped in the rain.â You grin, curling your legs up into the seat and pressing your temple against the cool glass of the window. âItâs art. Itâs emotion. Itâs currently the only thing keeping me alive during finals.âÂ
Youâre already humming under your breath, voice quiet but matching the lilt of the lyrics like youâve done this a hundred times alone in your room. You donât even notice youâre doing it at firstâjust this soft, distracted singing, like muscle memory. Like breathing. Sukuna groans again, leaning back against his seat like heâs physically in pain. âPut on Playboi Carti like a normal human being.â
âNo,â you reply sweetly, already queuing the song again. âIâm hyper fixated. That means Iâm playing it at least three more times.â
âJesus,â he mutters, but doesnât reach for the aux. Instead, he leans his head back against the headrest and shuts his eyes, as if surrendering to the inevitable. His tattooed arm is draped lazily along the console between you. The setting sun outside paints soft orange lines across the curve of his throat, the ridges of his knuckles, the cut of his jaw. You glance over. Just for a second. His damp pink hair is curling a little where it rests against his forehead, the collar of his shirt a little stretched from where he tugged it off earlier. His hands are relaxed, but youâve seen them clenched around a pen, a steering wheel, a canâso often that itâs weird to see them soft like this.Â
When the chorus hits again, you canât help itâyou clutch your water bottle like itâs a microphone and sing along, full volume, completely tone-deaf. Your voice cracks on a high note. You donât care. The car is stuck, the sun is bleeding out across the horizon, and for once your brain is quiet enough to let you just be. Sukuna cracks an eye open to stare at you. Thereâs an expression hovering on his faceâpart judgment, part amusement, all exasperated affection. âYouâre fucking insane,â he murmurs, but doesnât tell you to stop. You play the song two more times. The last time, he even taps his fingers on the steering wheel in time with the beat. By the time the traffic thins and he pulls up in front of your dorm, itâs fully dark out. The streets are quiet. A light breeze rustles the trees overhead, and your building glows warm from the windows.
The car idles for a moment. Neither of you moves. You fiddle with your bag strap. âThanks. For the ride.â Sukuna shrugs like itâs no big deal, hand still resting casually on the steering wheel. âDidnât want you to get kidnapped. Iâll be pissed if I have to deal with a new project partner this late in the semester.â
You snort. âSo heartwarming. Hallmark should hire you.â But still, your smile softens. You open the door, start to slide outâ
âHey,â his voice cuts in, low. You turn back. Heâs watching you, one elbow propped against the window, his mouth tugged into something just barely resembling seriousness.
âYouâve got a nice voice,â he says, slow. âWhen you sing.â
You blink. Then: âI meanâitâs not good,â he adds quickly, defensive. âJustânice. Like. You know. Tolerable. Shut the fuck up.â Youâre already laughing, your whole face warm, stomach fluttering for a reason that makes you want to scream into your pillow later. You shake your head, half-dizzy, and wave him off.
âFreak.â
He grins. âObviously.â And then heâs pulling away, the soft glow of his taillights disappearing around the corner as you stand there on the curb, heart doing something you really wish it wouldnât.
â
The dorm lounge is dark. A sad, crooked little sign is taped to the door, flapping slightly from the draft in the hallway: CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE. You stare at it in disbelief.
âYouâve gotta be kidding me,â you mutter. Sukuna makes a noise behind youâsomething between a groan and a sigh that says of course this would happen now.
âWe walked all the way here,â you grumble, adjusting your bag on your shoulder. âAnd East Wing Libraryâs still under construction as well.â You sigh, then shove your phone back in your pocket. âWhatever. Guess weâre not studying tonight.â Sukuna scratches at his jaw, eyeing you sideways. âWe could go to my place.â
You blink. âExcuse me?â
âMy frat house,â he clarifies, as if that helps. You squint at him.Â
âYeah, no offense, but the last thing I wanna do is walk into a testosterone-infested lair filled with Axe body spray and half-naked dudes playing Call of Duty.â
Sukuna smirks. âWhat do you think a frat house is, Animal House?â You raise a brow. âIs it not?â
âItâsâŠmarginally cleaner.â
âUh-huh.âÂ
He grins, lazy and wolfish. âWhat, you scared youâll get corrupted?â
âOh please. Iâm scared Iâll catch a fungal infection from your couch.â
âWow.â He mock clutches his chest. âThatâs the same couch Toji had sex on junior year.â You wrinkle your nose. âYouâre not helping your case.â
â
But youâre already walking beside him as he pulls his keys out of his pocket, smug as ever. The house is surprisingly... not awful. Itâs big, for one. Tall windows, wide wraparound porch. Someoneâs put effort into decorating the front roomâthere are actual plants. A couple are plastic, sure, but still. Progress.
âDonât touch anything,â Sukuna says as he unlocks the door. âYou might set off a trap.â You snort and follow him inside. Almost instantly, voices erupt from the kitchen.
âYo!â someone calls. âSukuna brought a girl? What the fuck?â You round the corner and find a man with gauges, hair tied back into a bun, leaning back in a chair with his feet propped on the table. Chosoâs there too, hair also tied up in a low bun, sipping some horrifying green drink out of a mason jar.
âHoly shit,â Suguru grins, âshe real?â
âSheâs not my date,â Sukuna says, already annoyed. âSheâs my lab partner.â
âUh-huh, heâs actually not making up bullshit this time, Sugu,â Choso says, nodding solemnly between Sukuna and you. âSuguru, you shoulda seen the way he talks about hâ.â
âShut up, bitch.â
âSheâs cute though,â Suguru adds, eyeing you with an arched brow. âYou sure this isnât, like, your redemption arc?â
You just raise a brow. âThis what you call hospitality?â Suguru snorts. âShe talks back. I like her.â
âBye,â Sukuna says sharply, grabbing your wrist. âUpstairs. Now.â
Youâre still laughing as he drags you past the second floor landing. âDamn. Didnât know you hadnât brought anyone home in months.â
âJesus,â he mutters.
âWhatâs wrong, celibate king? Losing your edge?â He stops in front of a door, turns to face you with that cocky smirk curling up again. âYou wishing I havenât gotten laid recently?â
You blink at him innocently. âJust surprised you havenât. With how obsessed you are with yourself.â
âYeah, well,â he says, pushing the door open, âstandards.â You snort. But his room is⊠not what you expected. Itâs neat. Cleaner than yours, probably. Dark wooden desk against the wall, books stacked haphazardly but intentionally. An unmade bed with black sheets and a dark grey hoodie tossed over the pillow. Thereâs a little lamp glowing low in the corner and a record player next to a speaker. You hate how nice it smells in here. You set your bag down on the floor. âWhy does it smell like... sage and expensive soap?â
âBecause Iâm not disgusting?â
âDebatable.â You both settle on the floor, laptops out, papers scattered. He brings over a half-full bag of spicy chips and a water bottle, which he throws at you without looking. It hits you square in the chest.
âDickhead.â
âYouâre welcome.â
The first twenty minutes are actually productiveânotes reviewed, graphs tweaked, last-minute slides double-checked. But inevitably, the banter creeps in. His foot nudges yours under the desk. You nudge back. He leans over to steal a gummy from your bag and you slap his hand away.
âStop stealing my candy.â
âYou ate my gummy worms last week.â
âI didnât steal them. I accepted them.â
âWow. Youâre so full of shit.â
âEat dirt.â He laughsâlow, under his breathâand it shouldnât affect you the way it does, but it sinks into your skin like heat, lingers in your bloodstream. Itâs not the usual cocky bark of a laugh he throws at you when heâs being a menace. This one is quieter. Throatier. Less sharp edges, more velvet. Like heâs amused with you, not at you. It wrecks your focus. Heâs leaned back against the edge of his bed now, legs splayed carelessly, one knee bent, the other stretching toward you like it owns the space. His shirt rides up a little at the waist, just enough to flash the hard lines of his stomach, the deep cut of his hipbones disappearing under black sweats. One of his arms hangs lazy over his knee, veins taut beneath inked skin, fingers playing absently with a red pen. And his hairâfuck. It's a mess, falling over his forehead in soft waves, a few strands catching on his lashes when he looks down. You want to brush it back. You want to tug on it.
You shift slightly, trying to re-cross your legs, trying to re-engage your brain with the paper in front of you. But your sweater dips with the movementâa soft, oversized thing you threw on without much thought. It hangs loose over your collarbones, dips just enough to expose a hint of skin and the swell of your chest where the neckline falls low. You feel his gaze before you see it. A flickerâsubtle, but deliberate. Your eyes lift slowly. Heâs staring.
âYou're staring.â
Sukuna doesnât even flinch. Doesnât pretend to be caught, doesnât have the decency to look embarrassed. He just meets your eyes, unashamed, and shrugs one shoulder in a way thatâs all smooth arrogance. âCan you blame me?â You snort, but it comes out quieter than intended. Your throatâs a little dry. âYouâre gross.â
âYeah?â He shifts a bit, elbow sliding behind him so heâs leaning fully back now, neck tipped against the wall, gaze still locked on you. âDonât act like you didnât wear that on purpose.â
You scoff. âExcuse me?â
He lifts a brow, lazy. âThe sweater. The whole off-duty art girl thing. You knew what you were doing.â
âI didnât,â you protest, but your voice slips a bit, too defensive. âI just⊠liked the color.â Sukuna hums like he doesnât believe you. His eyes stay exactly where they wereâlingering, slow, blatantly appreciating. You glare at him. âYou're an asshole.â
He grins. âTrue.â But then, softer. Less teasing. âYou look cute.â
It lands differently. The words settle between you like something solid, something heavy. Not a joke. Not just banter. Youâre suddenly hyper-aware of everythingâhow warm it is in the room, how quiet. The hum of the old radiator. The scent of whatever he uses in his laundry detergentâsomething clean and citrusy and a little intoxicating. You donât respond. Your heart is thudding against your ribs, a little too loud, a little too fast. He watches you. Waits. Then, finally, you manage: âStop being weird.â But your voice isnât sharp anymore. Itâs soft. Uncertain. He smirks, but his eyes stay serious. âYou love it.â
You roll your eyes, trying to drag your gaze back to your notes, to anything other than the way his gaze is dragging over your skin like a physical touch. You pretend to read, pretend to write, but you feel itâthe tension, thick as syrup in the air. Heâs close. Closer than before. You can feel the heat of him next to you, the way his thigh shifts slightly, brushing yours. Your eyes lift slowly. Heâs already watching you. His expression is unreadableâequal parts amusement and hunger. Heâs studying you like heâs memorizing. Like heâs waiting for the exact right moment to pounce.
And then he moves. No warning. No smart remark. Just a slow lean forward, one hand braced near your thigh as he closes the distanceâeyes flicking from your lips to your eyes and back again, like heâs giving you a chance to pull away.
You donât.
And before you know it, his lips are melding against yours. The kiss is slow. Careful. Not tentative, but measured, like heâs savoring the first taste. His lips are soft, warm, coaxing yours open. His hand comes up, rough fingers brushing your jaw before settling lightly at the base of your neck, thumb against your pulse. You inhale sharply when his mouth deepens against yours, tongue sliding over your bottom lip, teasing, askingâand when you give in, he groans, low and satisfied in the back of his throat. The sound goes straight to your stomach. He tastes like cinnamon gum and spice, something dark and smoky underneath. His teeth scrape lightly against your lip and you gasp into him, fingers fisting in the hem of his shirt without even realizing. When he finally pulls back, itâs barely an inch. His breath brushes against your mouth. His eyes are lidded, lashes low, lips parted and slightly swollen. He looks fucking wrecked. And somehow still manages to smirk. âStill think Iâm gross?â
You blink at him, dazed. âYes.â He laughs, that soft velvet-laced one again. You donât even hesitate this time. You kiss him againâharder, needier, something unspoken unraveling fast between you. Your fingers curl tighter into his shirt, pulling him closer, and he doesn't resistâin fact, he deepens it like he's been waiting for this, like every smartass comment and every prolonged look was just him biding time. His hand drifts, slow, from your jaw to your throatânot pressing, just resting, thumb stroking just under your jawline, grounding you. The contrast of his rough fingers against your softer skin sends heat spiraling straight down your spine. Not just thatâ The hand on your throat sends a wave of heat right between your legs. Like heâs showing you whoâs in control.
He pulls away just slightly, breath ragged, forehead grazing yours. "You kiss like youâve been thinking about this.â You giggle against his mouth. âWhat if I have?â
That makes him groanâlow, deep in his chestâand then heâs kissing you again, more urgent this time, less slow-burn and more fuck, finally. His hand slides into your hair, cradling the back of your head as he tilts your mouth open wider, tongue sliding against yours with a filthy kind of rhythm. You shift instinctively into his space, knees brushing his thighs, your body angling toward his like gravity made the call for you. His hands trail from the length of your back to your ass, squeezing it in his large, calloused palms. It gets hazy, fast. The taste of him, the weight of his palm as it trails from your throat to the dip of your collarbone, fingers catching on the edge of your sweater. He breaks the kiss just long enough to look downâhis hand still on youâand you see the shift in his expression the second he remembers your neckline. He hooks a finger into the v-line of the neckline, exposing the swells of your pretty tits to his hungry gaze.
âSee,â he murmurs, voice rough now, barely-there smile curling the corners of his mouth. âYou did wear this shit on purpose. Look at the way it just falls down so easilyâ âS like you wanted me to stare at your tits.â You breathe out a laughâshaky. âYouâre so full of yourself.â He ducks his head, mouth grazing your collarbone now, slow and deliberate, hands palming your breasts. âYouâre not denying it, though.â
Your response gets swallowed by the way his lips brush the base of your neck, warm and soft, and then he bitesânot hard, just enough to make your breath catch.Â
âFuckâSukunaââ
âSay that again,â he mutters, voice vibrating against your skin. âSay it like that.â You yank at his shirt in response, pulling him closer until he's practically between your legs, notebooks shoved aside and forgotten. He lets you, smiling against your neck, one hand situated on your breast, the other settling on your thigh now, fingers pressing just enough through the fabric of your leggings that it sends your heart into a tailspin.
âYouâreâI donât even like you like that,â you breathe, even as your hips shift slightly forward, even as your body clearly wants him, your heat pressed directly on the very evident bulge in his sweatpants. He drags his mouth back up to yours. âSo stop kissing me.â You kiss him harder.
His hand slides up your thigh, slow but sure, fingers skating over your hip, his palm pressing warm through the fabric. You gasp into his mouth when his thumb brushes just below your waistband, teasing, testing. Still not rushing. Sukunaâs the kind of guy who knows exactly how to draw something out until it burns. His kiss slows againâlike heâs dialing it back, testing your limits. âTell me to stop,â he says, voice lower than youâve ever heard it. âIf you want me to.â You shake your head before the words even leave his mouth.Â
âDonât.â He exhales, almost like relief. âGood.â
Because now his fingers are slipping under your sweater, not even pretending to be shy, tracing the warm skin of your stomach, the skin above your waistband. When he feels the way your breath stutters, he pausesâlifts his head to look at you.
âYou good?â His voice is soft. Different. You nod, swallowing. âYeah. Iâm good.â His lips twitch like heâs amused with how breathless you sound, but he doesnât say anything cocky this time. He just kisses you again, slower now, more methodical, hands exploring like heâs cataloguing every inch of you. Youâre vaguely aware that you're still in his room, that the doorâs closed but the walls are thin, that youâre half-on, half-off his bed surrounded by a mess of notes and highlighters and open laptops. And none of that matters. Because the way heâs looking at you nowâeyes dark, mouth kiss-swollen, hair a mess from your fingersâitâs not just heat. Itâs hunger. Craving. Like heâs been waiting for this since the day he sat next to you in chem lab with that annoying smirk.
And now that he has you? Heâs going to take his time. You're not sure when studying officially got left behind. Somewhere between the first kiss and the way his hands slid under your sweater, books became background noise. The project became irrelevant. Now, heâs laying you back on his bedâslowly, carefully, like heâs trying not to make you overthink it. The room is dim, golden light spilling in from the desk lamp. Your legs are tangled with his, your sweater halfway off your shoulder, and heâs hovering over you, kissing you like itâs something he needs to do, like heâs been trying not to all semester and finally gave up. You feel his hand slide under your sweater again, this time pushing it up your ribs, warm palm skating over your skin like heâs memorizing it. He doesnât even rushâhe just looks down at you like youâre something to unravel, slowly.
âYou sure?â he says again, quieter this time. His thumb brushes just under your bra, like heâs offering you a way out, even now. You nod, heart stuttering. âYeah.â Thatâs all it takes. Because after that, Sukuna moves like a switch flips. His hands are suddenly everywhereâsliding your sweater off completely, tossing it somewhere behind him, and then heâs kissing you again, this time lower, trailing his mouth down your neck, down the line of your collarbone, licking into the dip between your breasts like heâs been thinking about doing it forever.Â
His hand tugs off your bra roughly, making you squeakâ youâre not sure if itâs from the surprise from having the material ripped off of you so roughly, or the fact his long fingers are pinching at your nipples. He takes one in his mouth, sucking and rolling the sensitive bud around, before doing the same to the other one. With each action, you feel yourself getting wetter and wetter, to the point youâre half wishing heâd just take your leggings and panties off, and just get on with it.
âFuck,â he mutters, half against your skin. âYouâreâgod, youâre driving me fucking crazy.â He pulls off your nipple with a resounding pop, eyes darkened by the sight of the sheen of his saliva on your breasts. You laugh, breathless. âYouâre literally the one climbing on top of me right now.â
He looks up at you, hair falling in his face, mouth wet and swollen. âYeah, because you look like this. Wearing that stupid little sweater. Coming to my room. Being allââ He cuts himself off with a groan. âYou knew what you were doing. You expected me not to do all this?â He punctuates this with a light pinch to your nipple, making you squeal.
âI came here to study!â
âYeah, and now youâre in my bed. About to get your little pussy wrecked until you canât walk. Real tragic how that worked out.â You feel yourself heat upâ like your entire body aflame at his vulgar words, mouth opening to retort something back at him. He kisses you again before you can reply, this time rougherâhis hands slipping under the waistband of your leggings, tugging slow and deliberate. You lift your hips to help him, cheeks flushed as he pulls them down and off in one fluid motion, leaving you in just your underwear. His eyes darken.
âJesus,â he mutters. âYouâre unreal. And wet. Fuck, I can practically see your pussy because of how wet you are.âÂ
You reach for the hem of his shirt, tugging it up. âTake this off. It's unfair Iâm the only one half-naked.âÂ
He grinsâsharp, pleasedâand yanks it over his head in one smooth move. Suddenly youâre staring at the body that youâve been unconsciously (consciously) staring at everytime he wears something even slightly form fitted. Defined, lean muscle, broad chest, ink curling along his side. Do you even need to mention the pink smattering of hair below his navel? It makes your thighs clench uncomfortably, making your eyes darken. He catches your look and smirks. âLike what you see, huh?â
âShut up and get back here.â And he does. He presses his body flush against yours, warm and solid, one hand braced beside your head, the other cupping your waist. You can feel how hard he is through his sweatpants now, the heat of it making your breath catch. His hand trails down, teasing the edge of your underwear. âStill good?â You nod, hips shifting toward him. âSukuna, please.â He growls, soft and low in his throat, and hooks his fingers into the waistband, tugging them down. He kisses your neck as he does it, slow and hot, and you shudder. He gets them off and then leans back, just for a second, to look at you spread out in his bed, wet and inviting. His eyes are practically black now, jaw tight like heâs holding something back.
âHoly fuck,â he mutters. âYouâre actually gonna kill me.â You tug at the waistband of his sweats. âThen die faster.â He laughs, breathless, and strips them off, boxers too. Holy fuck. Itâs impressive. Thick and girthy, leaking from the pink tip. You try not to stareâtry being the operative wordâand he notices.
âCute,â he says, climbing back over you. âYouâve been a nuisance to me all semester and now youâre blushing over my dick?â
âYouâre literally about to be inside me. Give me a break.â That shuts him up real quick. He leans in, kisses you slow, hand sliding between your thighs. He teases you with his fingers first, dipping the long digits in and out of your wetness, making sure youâre ready, whispering things against your neckââYouâre so wet already,â and âFuck, this tight for me?ââuntil youâre shaking, seeing stars just from two, thick fingers of his, clinging to his muscled arms. Once heâs deemed that youâre pleasantly even more wet than you were pre-orgasm, he strokes his shaft, the tip pink and angry as he stares with a half lidded gaze at the glistening area between your legs.
And then heâs there, lined up, pushing in slow. You gasp at the stretch, the pressure, your hands grabbing onto his biceps as he sinks into you inch by inch. âGod,â he grits out, forehead pressed against yours. âYou feelâfuckâyou feel insane. Oh myâ Shit, Iâm never letting this pussy outta my sight.â You canât speak. You just hold onto him, breathing through it, until heâs all the way in and stills. Gives you a second. Kisses you again. When you finally nod, his hips start to moveâslow, deep strokes that make your whole body arch into him. Itâs hot and messy and intense, but thereâs something else in it tooâsomething careful. He watches you like he wants to memorize every expression you make, every sound you let out.
It builds fastâfrustration and release and months of tension finally cracking open. His name falls from your lips more than once, and he groans each time like itâs doing something to him.
âS-SukunaâfuckâIâmââ
âI got you,â he mutters, kissing your shoulder. âI got you. Come on, baby. Make a mess on my dick. Yeah, mhm. Fuck.â And when you come, it hits like a waveâsharp and overwhelming, your whole body curling into him, his name leaving your mouth in breathy moans. He follows not long after, hips stuttering as he barely manages to pull out, his warm seed splattering on your stomach, head buried in your neck, cursing softly against your skin. He kisses you briefly, heading quickly to his bathroom to grab a warm washcloth to wipe your stomach clean, tossing the balled up cloth into the hamper in some corner of the room.
Afterward, thereâs just heavy breathing and tangled limbs. His hand finds yours under the sheets, fingers interlacing. Youâre the first to speak, voice still shaky. âThat wasâThat was not studying.â
Sukuna laughsâhoarse, wrecked. âYeah, no shit.â You glance at him. âSo⊠do we pick the project back up tomorrow?â He rolls over, smirking at the ceiling. âMaybe if you let me come inside next time.â You throw a pillow at his face. He catches it without flinching. âWorth it.â
And you laugh, falling back into the sheets beside him, skin still buzzing, body still flushed. For once, everythingâs quiet.
â
You stretch, groaning into the pillow, body aching in a way thatâs half delicious and half criminal. Your thighs hurt. Your back hurts. Your soul might hurt a little. From across the room, you hear the sound of Sukuna's shower turning on. âNo,â you croak, face still buried in the pillow. âI am not moving. I live here now. This is my bed.â
âYouâre literally lying on my hoodie.â
âThen itâs mine now too.âÂ
He snorts. âGet your ass up. We should shower before everyone in the frat wakes up and thinks I killed someone in here.â You peek out with one eye. âYou can go first.â
âI wasnât offering,â he says, walking out of the bathroom with just a towel slung low around his hips. Drops of water are still clinging to his chest, and the tattoos on his ribs look somehow worse in the daylight. In the best way. âCome on.â You blink at him. âYou want to shower⊠together?â
He raises a brow. âYeah?â
âNo.â He squints. âWhy not?â
âThatâs intimate.â
He stares. âMy dick was inside you last night.â You wave a hand. âThatâs physical. This is emotional.â He laughsâactually laughsâand crosses the room in two strides. âYou're such a weirdo.â
âIâm serious! Showering together is, like, emotionally naked. I donât know how to explain it. Itâs so vulnerable. Thatâs like⊠domestic. Thatâs, like, soft.â
He rolls his eyes, completely unfazed. âYouâre such a freak.â Then, before you can protest further, he grabs youâstill very naked, still very soreâand throws you over his shoulder like a caveman. His hand slaps across your ass lightly, snickering to himself.
âSUKUNAââ
âIâm not listening to you spiral about emotional nudity,â he says, totally calm, carrying you into the bathroom like you weigh nothing. âYou moaned my name like a porn star last night. You can handle a shower.â
âI canât walk!â
âWhich is why Iâm being a gentleman and carrying you.â
âYou are the opposite of a gentleman.â He kicks the bathroom door shut behind him and sets you down on the edge of the counter. Steam curls around both of you, hot and fragrantâhis shampoo smells stupidly good, which is somehow infuriating.
You stare at the water, then at him. âThis doesnât mean anything.â
Sukuna grins, dimples flashing. âObviously.â You roll your eyes, but your stomach flips a little anyway. The second you step under the spray, your muscles sigh. Hot water hits your back, and you slump forward with a sound thatâs halfway between a groan and a prayer. Sukuna slides in behind you, and his hands immediately land on your hips, holding you steady like he knew you were about to collapse.
âI told you I couldnât stand,â you mumble, leaning back against his chest.
âI didnât realize you meant it literally,â he says, smirking into the curve of your neck. âYou should work on your stamina.â
âYou should get bent.â
âHm, I think I bent you. Very successfully, actually.â
You try to elbow him, but he catches your wrist easily, still grinning. âWant me to wash your hair?â You eye him warily. âWhat are you gonna do? Douse me in Axe body wash?â
âHey. Thatâs slander.â He grabs a bottle from the ledge and starts working it into your scalp before you can protest. His hands are warm, gentle, and surprisingly careful. Heâs quiet for a second, and so are you. Then he murmurs, âYou smell good.â
âItâs your shampoo. Thatâs like self cest. Youâre saying I only smell good because I smell like you?â
âYeah, but now itâs on you. Itâs different. Not self cest. You just⊠Shut up and lemme wash your hair.â You glance up, heart doing something stupid in your chest. âYouâre being weird again.â
âYeah?â He ducks down slightly, voice lower now, breath ghosting against your ear. âAnd what if I said I like being weird with you?â You freeze. Then you shove a palm into his chest. âShut up. Thatâs so corny.â He laughs, but his grip on your waist doesnât falter. You stay under the water a little longer, letting the heat and his hands and the way his chest feels against your back melt the rest of the tension out of you. When he reaches for the soap again, you catch his wrist. âDo not start anything. I physically canât take another round.â Sukuna leans in, kisses the side of your jaw with a smirk. âDonât worry, baby doll. Iâll be good.â Heâs not. Safe to say you ended up begging for it too.
â
The hallwayâs cold. Way colder than your dignity can handle when youâre limping barefoot behind a shirtless Sukuna in his frat house, wearing his hoodie and a pair of his shorts that might as well be pants. Your hairâs damp, your thighs are wrecked, and your pride? Thatâs somewhere on the floor of his room with your underwear.
âYou didnât have to break me in half,â you mutter under your breath, wincing with each step. Sukuna snorts, completely unbothered. âYou seemed fine last night. And in the shower.â
âI was faking it.â
He glances over his shoulder, smug. âYou were screaming.â
âFaking it loudly, then,â you snap. He just chuckles, steps into the kitchen like heâs not Satan incarnate. Tojiâs already thereâstanding shirtless in front of the stove, flipping protein pancakes in a pan that looks like itâs seen war. He glances up the moment you hobble in behind Sukuna, eyes trailing from your flushed face to the unmistakable fact that you are wearing Sukunaâs hoodie and walking like youâve been in a car crash.
Toji freezes. Then grins. Slow. Evil.
âOh shit.â
You want to die. You want the linoleum floor to open up and swallow you whole. You press the sleeves of Sukunaâs hoodie over your face. âI knew I heard something last night,â Toji says, flipping a pancake like this is the best morning of his life. âTold Choso it wasnât the pipes. Thatâs gotta be why he slept on the couch.â
âI hate this house,â you mumble. Sukuna yawns. âShut the fuck up, Toji.â Toji just cackles. âSheâs limping, bro. You broke her.â Your head snaps up. âShut up! Donât say it like thatââ
âToji,â Sukuna says again, voice dropping low now. âIf you say one more thing, Iâm banning you from ever speaking in the kitchen again.â Toji raises both hands, innocent. âDamn. Yâall are sensitive this morning.â Sukuna grabs a water bottle off the counter and throws itânails Toji square in the chest. Water explodes. Toji wheezes laughing.
âIâm putting a ban on the entire house,â Sukuna mutters, turning toward the hallway. âNobody comes out of their fucking rooms for the next twelve hours.â Toji wipes water off his chest with a paper towel. âThatâs not how a frat works.â
âIt is now.âÂ
You, meanwhile, are dying silently in the corner of the kitchen, gripping the counter for dear life like Bambi on ice. Your legs genuinely might give out. You pull the hoodie lower and try to disappear into it. Toji eyes you, smirking. âYou want a protein pancake, champ? Youâve earned it.â
âI swear to Godââ
Sukuna slams a mug down on the counter. âTOJI.â
âOkay, okay! Damn. Sensitive and possessive.â
Sukuna grabs two mugs, fills them with coffee, then turns to you like nothing happened. âCâmere.â You shuffle over, still avoiding eye contact with the man who just witnessed your walk of shame, and accept the mug gratefully. Your fingers brush Sukunaâs as you take it, and he glances at you. That look again. The one thatâs always a little cocky, a little smug. But softer now. Like he hasnât quite recovered either. You sip the coffee to avoid saying something dumb.
Toji, of course, ruins the moment by smacking the spatula on the counter. âSo whenâs the wedding?â Sukuna chucks a pancake at him. And despite the embarrassment, despite the ache in your thighs and the fact that your ego might never recover⊠when Sukuna leans against the counter next to you, shoulder brushing yours, and murmurs, âStill think showeringâs more intimate than sex?ââyou donât argue. You just bump his hip with yours and whisper, âNext time, youâre the one limping.â He barks out a laugh at that, looking down at you.
âYou sound like youâre gonna peg me.â
âKeep embarrassing me like this and I might just peg you.â
â
It keeps happening. Somehow, even after you swore you werenât gonna end up tangled with a smug frat boy who wears rings like armor and calls you âmenaceâ every time you breathe wrongâhere you are. The project is basically done, but that doesnât change much. You still see each other constantly, like itâs built into your week now. Study sessions, late-night editing, grabbing food on the way back from the library. He still comes over unannounced and flops onto your bed like itâs his, still kicks his shoes off and demands snacks and calls you bossy for forcing him to fix his citations.
And okay, yeah. You keep hooking up. Itâs not even subtle anymore. Sometimes heâll press you into your mattress before your laptopâs even warmed up, muttering something like âfive minutesâ that always turns into an hour. You fall asleep tangled in his limbs more often than youâd like to admit, his hand wrapped around your waist like it belongs there. And itâs not just sexâitâs everything. The way he orders your coffee without asking. The way he instinctively tilts his head down when you talk so he hears every word. The way he looks at you, like heâs memorizing you. Toji and Choso have basically stopped pretending itâs casual. Every time you come over to the frat house, someone whistles or yells, âYo, Sukunaâs girlâs here!âÂ
You always roll your eyes, but your cheeks warm anyway. Sukuna usually throws a middle finger over his shoulder and drags you inside like he doesnât careâbut youâve caught the smirk on his face more than once. But then. One Wednesday, you walk into class a couple minutes late. Youâre digging for a pen in your bag, not paying attention, until you hear itâhis laugh. You glance up. Heâs already in your usual seat. But heâs not alone. Thereâs a girl next to himâcute, brunette, sparkly earrings. Laughing with her hand on his arm like theyâre in the middle of a joke. And Sukuna? Heâs laughing too. That low, easy laugh he uses when heâs genuinely amused. His whole body turned toward her. His eyes crinkled at the corners. Familiar.
Too familiar. It shouldnât matter. Heâs not your boyfriend. You never asked him to be. But something curdles in your stomach, this horrible bitter twist of heat and nausea. Because heâs never laughed like that with anyone elseânot that youâve seen. That was yours. You sit on the other side of the lecture hall. You donât text him back that night. Or the next. Youâre not cold. Just⊠distant. Muted. Detached. You donât flirt. You donât roll your eyes when he calls you names. You donât even rise to the bait when he eats the last of your chips and says, âYou snooze, you lose.â You just nod, distracted. Quiet. The first time he tries to pull you into his lap during a break, you shrug him off.
The third time it happens, he snaps. âThe fuck is going on with you?â You glance up from your notebook, eyebrows raised. âNothing.â
âBullshit,â he says, jaw tense. âYouâve been acting weird all week.â You look at him flatly. âIâve been busy.â
âWith what? Avoiding me?â The words hang heavy in the air. He stares at you across the room, breathing hard, the project open on your laptop but completely forgotten. Your throat is tight.
âForget it,â you mutter, pushing back your chair. He grabs your wrist. Not hard. Just enough to make you stop.
âTell me whatâs wrong.â You inhale, shaky. âI saw you. In class. With that girl.â
His expression shifts, confusion tightening into something sharper. âWhat girl?â
âThe one you were laughing with,â you say, voice brittle. âItâs not a big deal. I justâforgot who you are, I guess. You can talk to whoever you want.â He stares at you. Like he doesnât know whether to scream or laugh. âAre you serious right now?â
You rip your arm from his grip. âYeah, actually.â
âThat was my cousin, you idiot.â You freeze. âWhat?â
âMy cousin. From Osaka. She was visiting campus and sat in for class,â he says, exasperated. âJesus, you thought I was flirting?â
âYou were laughing with her!â
âI laugh with you more than anyone! Does that mean Iâm flirting with you too?â
âYes!â you blurt, and then immediately regret it. His eyes narrow. âSo you do see it.â You open your mouth. Close it. Your face burns. He steps forward, close enough to make your pulse jump. âYouâre jealous.â You look away. âNo, Iâmââ
He cuts you off. âYou are. And you know what? Good. âCause Iâve been going fucking insane pretending weâre just study buddies who coincidentally spend every second together and coincidentally fuck and coincidentally sleep in the same bed, but canât call each other anything real.â You stare at him, breathless.
âI like you,â he says, low and hoarse. âI like you so much itâs driving me nuts. And if you donât feel the sameâfine. But donât act like I havenât been making it obvious.â You swallow hard. âYou have a fucked-up way of showing it.â
He snorts. âYouâre one to talk. Giving me the silent treatment because I laughed once?â
âYou laughed like you do with me,â you whisper. âThatâs what hurt.â
Something flickers in his expressionâsomething soft and real. He cups your jaw.
âI only laugh like that with you,â he says, voice thick. âI only want to laugh like that with you.â Your heart stumbles. âNow shut up,â he mutters, âso I can kiss you.â You do. And he doesâhard, hungry, like heâs been waiting for years. Hands are in your hair, yours are on his shoulders, and everything finally clicks into place. When you pull back, flushed and breathless, he grins. âWell. Youâre my girlfriend now.â You blink. âThatâs not romantic at all.â He kisses your cheek. âDidnât say it was. But itâs the truth.â You shove his chest. âYou suck.â He just grins harder, tugging you back in. âNot what you were saying last week. In fact, you were sucking it.â You groan. But you donât argue. Because yeahâyouâre his now. And he's yours. Officially.
â
Sukunaâs room is warmer than usual. The windowâs cracked, the scent of pine air freshener battling the distinct smell of boyâclean laundry, leftover cologne, something vaguely woodsy. Youâre cross-legged on his bed, surrounded by notebooks and crumpled printouts, while heâs sitting in his desk chair with one foot up on the edge, tapping away at the final slides of your presentation. Toji passed by the door earlier and shouted, âYo, project couple!â before Sukuna flipped him off and slammed the door shut with his heel. Youâre both halfway through your second coffees, the last dregs sloshing around your cups. The projectâs done for real nowâjust tweaks now. Alignment stuff. Graph polish. The usual shit that seems small until itâs 2 a.m. and your brain starts melting.
âYou typed âphotochemistray,ââ you murmur, leaning forward to peer at his screen. He doesnât even look up. âNo I didnât.â
âYes you did.â
âI donât make typos.â You snort. âYou make so many typos.â
âI make sexy typos.â
ââPhotochemistrayâ sounds like a bootleg brand of nerd lingerie.â He finally glances over, one brow raised. âYou say that like itâs not a market I could corner.â
You throw a pillow at him. He laughs, full and low and so familiar it warms your stomach. That soundâs become muscle memory at this point. Embedded into your damn soul. The moment settles. Quiet for a beat. His keyboard clacks, and you start flipping through your notes, eyes skimming blankly. Then, out of nowhere, your voice slips into the silence. âYâknow⊠weâve technically talked before this semester.âÂ
He glances up. âWhat?â
âLike, you and me. Before we got partnered.â He blinks. âWhen?â You hesitate. âThat freshman welcome thing. In the orientation lecture hall. They made people from different majors introduce themselves. I stood up and said something about being interested in environmental science.â He frowns, clearly digging through his brain.
âAnd I stuttered,â you add, dryly. âAnd youâvery loudlyâmocked me from the back row.â Thereâs a beat. His face changes. Just slightly. Jaw tightening.
âFuck,â he mutters. âSeriously?â
âYeah. You said something like, âDamn. Spit it out, dumbass.ââ
He winces. âShit.â You shrug, trying to brush it off. âI mean, whatever. It wasnât a big deal.â
âYeah, it was,â he says immediately, looking at you now with that intense, unreadable stare. âI was an asshole. I didnât even remember that was you.â You shrug again, but it feels a little thinner this time. âYou werenât wrong. I was stuttering.â
âDoesnât fucking matter,â he says. âI was a piece of shit. Iâm sorry.â The quiet that follows isnât awkwardâitâs just⊠charged. The way he says it, that gravel in his voice. The way heâs leaning forward now, elbows on his knees, rings glinting under the dim desk lamp. It does something to you.
âDidnât think the Ryomen Sukuna apologized,â you say lightly. He lifts a brow. âOnly when I mean it.â You nod slowly. Then: âGuess Iâm honored.â His eyes narrowâplayfully, but thereâs heat there now. âYou should be.â Your heart skips. You stretch your legs out, feigning boredom. But the hem of your shorts rides up, and his gaze flickers downâlingers. You see the change in his posture. The way his foot drops from the desk, his chair creaking as he shifts.
âI wasnât gonna say anything,â he says, voice lower now. âBut youâve been sitting there looking like that for the past hour and itâs getting hard to think.â You blink. âLike what?â
He tilts his head, mouth twitching. âAll pretty and smug. Like you donât know exactly what youâre doing to me.â You raise a brow. âIâm literally in a hoodie and gym shorts.â
âAnd yet,â he says, slowly standing. âHere I am. In physical pain.â
You scoff. âMaybe focus on the final slide instead of your dick.â
âMaybe stop sitting there looking like a fucking sin,â he mutters, now crossing the space between you. You donât move. You canât. Your breath is caught somewhere in your chest as he stops right in front of the bed, towering over you, eyes hooded. âCan I?â he asks, voice quieter. Rougher. You nod. The shift is immediate. His hands slide up your thighs, slow and deliberate, as he kneels onto the bed, caging you in. His mouth brushes the shell of your ear as he whispers, âDidnât like that I hurt your feelings.âÂ
You swallow. âYou didnât. Not really.â
âI did,â he murmurs, kissing the side of your neck. âAnd now Iâm gonna make it up to you.â Your breath stutters. He pulls back just enough to look at youâhis thumb grazing your jaw, eyes dark and locked on yours. âYou good?â he asks, tone shifting just slightlyâchecking in. You nod. âYeah.â
âSay it.â
âIâm good.â
Thatâs all it takes. His mouth crashes into yours, all heat and teeth and months of tension bleeding out between your lips. His hand finds your waist, gripping you like heâs been starving. You slide your fingers into his hair, tugging just enough to make him groan. The laptop slides off the bed with a thunk, forgotten. You pull him down with you, and he goes easily, one knee slipping between your thighs, his weight bracing over you. He kisses like he studiesâfocused, intense, overwhelming. His tongue licks into your mouth and your brain just short-circuits. He looks at you for a long second. Then, suddenly, grabs your waist and pulls you into his lap.
âAlso,â he murmurs, breath hot against your neck, âfor the record, if Iâd known the hot chem girl from freshman year would end up riding me like five times a week, I wouldâve introduced myself sooner. And not have been such an asshole to you.â You slap his chest. âThatâs your way of apologizing?â
âYeah, but you like it.â You kiss him to shut him up, and somehow, that turns into another hour of not reviewing the presentation.
â
itâs the final day, and your nameâs being called. You head to the front of the class with your laptop while Sukuna follows, looking every bit the cocky, casually dressed bastard heâs always beenâexcept now heâs your cocky, casually dressed bastard. He nods at the front row like heâs about to win a Grammy, and you nudge his ribs. A significant portion of the project requires an overview accompanied with an oral presentation, so here you are.
âBehave.â
âIâm always well-behaved,â he mutters, grabbing the clicker. You start the intro. He takes over halfway through. You canât help but grin a littleâbecause heâs good. Actually good. Clear, confident, no stuttering, and he even makes Professor Shimizu laugh with a sarcastic quip about the data trend in one of the chemical reactions. And then, without thinking, he leans down and kisses your cheek. Like itâs second nature. The room doesnât even react that muchâprobably because no oneâs shocked anymoreâbut when the class ends and people start packing up, Professor Shimizu catches your arm. She grins. âIsnât that the same boy you were begging me not to pair you with at the start of the semester?â
Your face burns. âWe hadâŠa rocky beginning.â
âMmm,â she says, amused. âWell, you turned it around. Solid work. And the chemistry was palpable.â You groan. âPlease donât say chemistry.â But sheâs already walking away, still smiling to herself. After class, Sukuna drives you back to your dorm like always. One hand on the wheel, one resting over your thigh like he doesnât even notice heâs doing it. Halfway through the drive, he queues something on his phone. And the soft strum of Faye Webster's She Wonât Go Away fills the car. You whip your head toward him. âNo fucking way.âÂ
He doesnât look at you. âDonât start.â
âYou said this was depression music for people who get dumped in the rain.â He clicks his tongue.Â
âYeah, well. Maybe I like that kinda concept now.â You cover your mouth with a gasp. âYouâre evolving.â
âIâm gonna shove you out of this moving car.âÂ
Youâre already singing by the chorus, and even though he groans, you catch him mouthing the words beside you. He tries to act like heâs just being ironic, but his fingers tap the rhythm on your leg, and he keeps the song on repeat the whole ride. By the time he pulls up to your dorm, the sunâs setting. You lean in, eyes soft, smile lazy. âThat was kinda romantic,â you murmur.Â
He scoffs. âDonât get used to it.â You kiss him anyway. And when you pull back, heâs watching you with that grin. The one thatâs half smug, half stupidly, hopelessly fond. âYou know,â he says, âif you werenât so annoying, I mightâve asked you to be my girlfriend sooner.â You blink. âThat was the least romantic thing Iâve ever heard. Like, worse when we had that little argument and you just told me that I was your girlfriend now.â
âYeah, well.â He shrugs. âYou didnât fall for me because Iâm romantic.âÂ
You narrow your eyes. âWhy did I fall for you, actually?â
He leans in close. âProbably the dick.â You shove him away, laughing. âGod, youâre disgusting.â
âAnd yet,â he says, as you open the car door, âyouâre still letting me hit. Also, this song, I actually really like itââ
You squint. âAre you saying this to get laid?â
âNo,â he mutters. âBut if it works, I wonât complain.â You slam the door in his face, but youâre grinning. And heâs still smiling when you look back through the window.
a/n: i had way too much fun writing this lollll now i need sukuna!!!
also, honourable tag for @writesvani bc of whom i actually had the motivation of writing this because she sent the most beautiful words of support 2 me after whisper of the heart. thank u so much and ily immensely <3
tags: @tracysdemise @perqbeth @fushiguroooozzz @bowlware @yuunice @xxstormyprincessxx @bnbaochauuu @beabamboo @erintaro @altgojo @sugurulefttesticle @minascasket @rinofcike @captainquake42 @pinkpookiebear @hellowoolf @clp-84 @yit-tk @nessca153 @domainofmarie @crunchyholo @emochosoluvr @sukubusss @being-blue-is-better @nikilig @syubseokie
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x reader#sukuna x reader smut#ryomen sukuna x reader smut#ryomen sukuna#sukuna ryomen#ryomen sukuna x reader fluff#sukuna ryomen x reader fluff#sukuna smut#jjk sukuna#jjk sukuna smut#jjk sukuna fluff#sukuna#ryomen sukuna smut#sukuna ryomen smut#jjk x reader smut#jjk smut#sukuna x y/n#sukuna x you#jujutsu sukuna#sukuna jjk#jjk sukuna x reader
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wander is DEF fucked emotionally i jyst didnt feel like fitting 2 paragraphs into 1 image also. comeduc effect ig BUT YEAH I SIGN UNDER EVERY WORD
this is starryeyed to me
#lord peepers arc wouldve been pretty bad but nothing beats his surrender-redemption in being the worst possible outcome#itd just be like the perfectly horrible clash of a guy whod have to let go of literally everything he knew n worked for n built his entire#identity on in order to move to the good side n guy who thinks being on the good side will magically make him feel better n evil being wron#basically invalidates any sort of ambition or attachment or anything u had going for it#guy whos holding onto evil for rlly nuanced reasons vs guy who fails to see the situations complexity#like despite wanders ideology being ''only presenting the right path not forcing u to follow it'' hes rlly dead set on not leaving ppl alon#until they follow it voluntarily#smth i feel he tried to do w dominator#n that makes wander an extremely interesting flawed character#i have a feeling#he sort of... views peepers as an extension of hater if thats the right way to put it#like if hater gets redeemed then peepers would be right there to follow him n the entire wathcdog army would also come as a 5075 in 1 deal#hence they never get ''targeted'' teh way hater does#n in that surrender-redemption case unfortunately hed be right#but that perception of peepers is extremely undermining#that his entire motivation n reason for being evil is built on his love for hater#obv it plays a big role n peepers has haters best interest in mind most if not all the time#but he has reasons beyond that#peepers has a lot more going on that i feel like wander just fails to notice#YK WHAT.#I JUST THOUGHT OF SMTH GENUIS#i feel like this entire thing i just wrote out can be exemplified well in the instances#of wander trying to mend peepers' napoleon complex by gifting him heels#that encapsulates it perfectly#peepers is unhappy w his height n in attempt to help him wander gives him a superficial solution that actually doesnt resolve any of the#issues lying beneath that caused that insecurity#its like treating symptoms instead of trying to fihure out n deal w the actual illness ykwim#thats wander getting peepers on the good side out of his attachment to hater n not actual want for redemption#that would just end up making it worse cuz peepers wasnt disappointed in evil yet n to him itjust feels like hes being separted from all hi#dreams n ambitions n all his work gets rendered useless n a big big part of him is just being crossed out
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BETWEEN FORMULAS, FLOWERS AND FEELINGS - SATORU GOJO

You are the imbalance in Satoruâs logical and rational reasoning.
pairing: nerd! gojo x student council president! reader
summary: being the student council president isnât the easiest job in the world. Itâs not like gojo â with his trademark glasses, his awkward smile hiding the most dangerous brain. because for him, he can resolve every problem, right? there is no formula that can escape his smart mind. not even you. so when he accepts to tutor you, could he really be sure feelings wonât become a new variable?
warnings: +18 MDNI, nsfw, smut, virgin! gojo, first time, oral (m! receiving), pinning, college AU, shojo vibes, quantum physics subject, slight angst, fluff, idiots in love, insecure! gojo, nerd gojo with glasses is hot, art by @/3-aem.
wc: 9,922
Ever since he was little, Satoru Gojo seemed to have been blessed with knowledge.
His very first Christmas toy â when he was finally old enough to have one â was a huge playset containing chemical transformation recipes to prepare by himself, using a handful of formulas and calculations.
When he turned ten, his parents gifted him a kit that allowed him to build his own electric train circuit, which he had to assemble using physics methods so that real electricity could power his trains â and sometimes even his cars.
By the time he reached middle school, scientific subjects like physics and chemistry became his second mother. Nothing escaped him. Formulas, molecular mechanisms, and chemical transformations held no secrets. This passion for complex methods shaped his logic.
For every problem, Satoru always found a solution. To him, the world was nothing but a set of solvable scientific probabilities, where nothing could slip through his grasp.
But growing up with barely controllable hormones⊠poor Satoru had experienced firsthand just how bitter that could taste, even at university.
The first time he asked a girl from his middle school to go out with him in his third year, Satoru never would have thought sheâd laugh right in his face before calling him a useless nerd.
He didnât let anything show. And yet, it was from that very day that Satoruâs glasses, his passion for science, and his own self-confidence betrayed him.
He decided to give up on feelings â classifying them as a deceitful, unscientific belief with a complete lack of logic, something better suited for grotesque purposes like the movies or romantic TV series that entertained uncultured people.
Satoru didnât need emotions when logic always prevailed, never once disappointing him.
But upon entering university, he could never understand why â despite his silence and absolute discretion, buried in his studies â his cerulean blue eyes always seemed to find their way back to you.
You were the student council president of the school. Known for your upright mind, flawless organization, and a sense of justice so firm it sometimes bordered on harshness.
You had no time for anyone. You spent your days planning university events without wasting a single second â a notebook always pressed against your chest, and occasionally, a pair of glasses perched on your nose during intense activities like studying for exams or arranging event halls, which were regularly occupied by you and your staff.
What intrigued Satoru the most about you was your logic.
You planned everything, organized everything, all while maintaining grades nearly as excellent as his. You never wasted time hanging around with those ridiculous girls who would likely reject him if he ever dared to speak to them, and he had already admire witnessed you standing up for people like him â those trapped in their introversion and buried in their books â refusing to tolerate the injustice caused by the schoolâs most popular students.
A deep respect radiated from you.
Something Satoru refused to admit. Even though he knew you could short-circuit his brain in an instant.
Like that time when you had asked him for a pen at the library during your study session because he wasnât far from your table. His face had turned crimson, and he could have sworn smoke was coming out of his ears. His mouth â so used to speaking with precision and efficiency â completely failed him in front of you.
The words got stuck in his throat, and the few sounds that miraculously managed to escape were nothing but incomprehensible stutters, earning him a confused frown from you.
In the end, he gave up on any attempt at conversation and simply handed you the best pen in his pencil case â his favorite. And he had almost silently prayed in his head that you would forget to return it so that you would keep it with you.
And he hated that.
This power you had over him â the way you made him nervous, shy, and desperate for you.
Just like in middle school.
Something he had sworn to leave behind.
~~~~
âNO, NO, AND NO!â
The event hall falls into a deathly silence as you shout your words with such force and vehemence that your fists crush the few sheets of paper still clutched between your tense fingers.
No one dares to move anymore â a part of the staff is busy moving boxes of decorations, two others are handing you papers to sign, some are hovering around you with questions, and others are amusing themselves by climbing ladders to place Christmas decorations â as if your scream alone has just pierced through the entire university.
With your jaw clenched, a vein pulsing at your temple, your cheeks flushed with anger, and your throat slightly irritated, you struggle to breathe as all attention shifts onto you.
âI said I havenât decided on the organization of the Spring Formal yet, that nothing is supposed to be taken out, signed, or even requested until Iâve given the order, so what the fuck are you all doing here?!â you exclaim.
You push past the students in your way and snap your fingers at the two idiots fooling around with the decorations.
âYou two â youâre fired.â
Then, you turn to the rest of the group handling the boxes. âIf you donât want to be fired too, hurry up and put that away!â Next, to the members waiting for you to sign papers. âOut!â
As the room empties in silence, filled with sulky and terrified faces at the thought of dealing with you, you take a deep breath before crouching down to the floor, burying your face between your knees, your arms trembling.
There isnât much time left.
Director Yaga has given you a deadline to organize the Spring Formal, leaving you in charge of the theme, the venue, and the entertainment.
But, for the first time in your role, you are literally overwhelmed.
For the first time as well, no inspiration comes to you. The stress of classes, exams happening at the same time as the event date, your poor grades lately, and the pressure your team keeps adding on top of all thatâat some point, you were bound to explode.
With all of this piling up, how are you supposed to manage?
Thatâs exactly what you asked yourself during your class that very afternoon, staring at your 40/100 in quantum physics.
With your heart sinking into your stomach, you hastily shove the paper into your bag, not caring in the slightest if it gets crumpled.
No one must see that the student council president allows herself to yell at her team while having such catastrophic grades. But your overloaded schedule no longer allows you to focus on your studies alone â how can you concentrate and stay organized when all you want to do is throw yourself out the window?
~~~~
âYou need to register to require a tutor.â
âBut I donât need one.â
The male student raises an eyebrow. âSo what are you doing here?â
You scoff. How dare he talk to you like that?
Youâre in the library, one of the most soothing and stressful places in the world. Youâve had to find a way to get your grades up while you sort out your problem with Spring Formal, but in the meantime, you need to find a student who can tutor you without anyone knowing.
So what better way to find out than from the librarianâs assistant â who is also one of the Tutoring Centerâs organizers?
âI need to know whoâs the top student in quantum physics here,â you insist with a firmer tone.
Forgetting youâre at the entrance to the library, you purse your lips, a little embarrassed.
âWe donât have âtop studentsâ, prez,â he replies with a bitter smile â ah, so he knows who you are.
âSo how do you help the students?â you ask with almost indignation.
He shrugs. âIf you need helpââ
âI do not,â you cut him off coldly, cheeks on fire as you adjust your bag over your shoulder. You sigh in annoyance at the studentâs lack of efficiency.
âThen, how can I help you?â He gives you the most impertinent smile in the world, as if heâs just waiting for you to get the hell out.
You tuck a stray lock of your hair back behind your ear before rolling your eyes. âI need to talk to a top student in quantum physics, thatâs all.â
The student looks at his fingernails as if they're the most important thing in the world and mimes huffing. âWe donât have any.â He looks up at you. âIf youâre looking for one, thereâs a nerd whoâs the best in his class.â
Curiosity pricks the back of your neck, causing you to sit up straight. âWho?â
âGojo, I think,â he said, frowning as if to remember his name. âSato-thing, if I remember. Anyway, a nerd. You should know him, I guess.â
You shake your head, eyes almost squinting as you seek the memory of a Gojo name. But nothing comes to mind. So you shrug.
âWhat does he look like?â
âAlbino. Blue eyes, nerd glasses, always dressed in a sweatshirt or shirt and he always has a book under his arm.â
âAll right, thanks.â
Then you hurry out of the library and its oppressive walls, leaving the assistant to sigh with relief â as much as you do.
~~~~
âSo, you are⊠Gojo Sato-thing?â
He has a little disappointed smile. âSatoru Gojo, prez.â With a nervous gesture, he places the strap of his shoulder bag back on his shoulder and adjusts his glasses, which slide down his nose.
You stare at him motionless for a few seconds, speechless at the all-too-perfect likeness of the Tutoring Center managerâs description. Heâs got a book under his arm, a Digimon t-shirt over a dark blue plaid shirt and an innocent look on his face â he really wasnât wrong.
You blink. âUm⊠yeah. Whatever.â
You check that no one in the corridor of the quantum physics wing has left any students lying around who might surprise you with him, then let out an exhausted exhale.
Faced with his 6'3, you owe it to yourself to raise your eyes and chin a little higher.
âI need your help. You're the best physics student in the class, right?â
He turns the toe of his shoe as a tic on the floor and nods imperceptibly.
âPerfect. Iâve got a little problem right now andââ
âDo you need me to do an assignment for you?â he says almost as if trying to divine your thoughts â is that hope you see in his eyes?
âNo.â You knit your brows. âIâm having a problem with my grades and Iâm swamped with my event responsibilities and I'm starting to get grades...â You chew the inside of your cheek to hide your pride before muttering, â...pretty bad. And I donât feel like being given help publicly.â
In his confused expression, you add, âOtherwise it would be a real shame...â
From his height, Satoruâs shyness almost flies away in a gust. Heâs got you there at last. In front of him. Talking about something. Like a dream come true â a reality where he no longer knows what his name is but whatever.
He even perceives a blushing creeping up your cheeks as you drift your gaze a little lower to your own shoes and your lips crumple into an adorably embarrassed and frustrated little pout.
Then of course heâll help you.
He would give you more if he could, and he promises to himself heâll do it.
âSo you need me as your secret tutor?â he clarifies so softly.
You look up at him, clearing your throat. âBasically⊠yeah.â
âFine. I can do that.â A small smile spreads across his pink lips and he digs his hands into his jeans, which are a little baggy for him.
You flicker your eyes, confusion animating your features. âIs that all?â
âDo you need anything else?â And youâd have sworn you saw hope still shining in his ocean-blue irises.
âWhat? No,â you retort incredulously. âBut donât you need something in return? Like, money or something?â
â...No,â he exhales, reducing his smile â though it still lingers. âI donât mind helping you. Just give me your free hours so we can set a date. If thatâs okay with you, of course,â he hastens to add, as if afraid of upsetting you.
Your lips part slightly. âO-Okay,â you finally say. âIâd like to do this as soon as possible.â
âHow about today?â Satoru suggests, with a little more enthusiasm than he had anticipated himself. âOr even now, if you want.â
âNow?â
âYeah,â he says with a happy nod.
âDonât you think itâs a bit too earlââ
Barely ten minutes later, you find yourself sitting next to him once again in the library, which, for once, is not too crowded, pretending to have a casual conversation while, in reality, he is analyzing your failed test papers with an expert eye.
One elbow resting on the polished wooden table, one hand holding one of your sheets between his fingers, and the other with his index and thumb supporting his chin, Satoru lets his gaze travel line by line over your flawless handwritingâso much so that he forgets heâs supposed to be concentrating on helping you.
And not on the pretty way you write the letter âS,â wondering how close heâd be to a cardiac arrest if he ever saw his name written by your hand.
When he finally manages to analyze the mistakes on your paper, Satoru straightens slightly in his seat, adjusting the collar of his unbuttoned shirt that suddenly seems to be strangling him with an invisible noose, despite his neck remaining completely free. His heart pounds at the speed of light â almost literally.
Calculations and formulas have always been childâs play for Satoru; his brain has always been wired for logic, rationality, and the addictive thrill of adrenaline coursing through his veins when he makes a new discovery, a new analysis that falls perfectly into place â like completing a puzzle and watching it come to life, or like a house of cards standing strong until the slightest imbalance brings it all crashing down.
You are the imbalance in Satoruâs logical and rational reasoning.
For Satoru, love is not a science. Itâs just hormones that one must learn to control and not be fooled by.
And yet, even though he has devoted his body and soul to science, his heart will never cease to be yours â under your implacable and irrevocable hold.
Even with all the scientific weapons in the world, he will always be powerless before you.
With a flutter of snowy lashes, he returns to reality, setting his gaze on yours; persistent, waiting for him to say something, to give some kind of critique.
His mouth goes dry, heat rushes to his cheeks as he clears his throat, embarrassed.
âWell, uh... I guess we can start revisiting the notion of The Uncertainty Principle, if thatâs okay with you.â He gives you a quick glance so unconfident that you restrain yourself from doing what you're thinking of: ripping off his adorable cheeks â adorable? Since when do you find nerds adorable?
âOkay,â you say, pulling a draft sheet closer.
As you move your chair closer to his to concentrate better thanks to the proximity, the effect is quite the opposite on poor Satoru. He nearly loses all composure when his trembling fingers close around his pencil.
âW-Well⊠Um, do you want me to give you a quick lesson on this again? You didnât seem to grasp much of the concept.â
âIf you can use simple wordsâŠâ you mumble without much hope.
He swallows hard before explaining, âA rule in quantum physics says: you canât know both the exact position and momentum of a particle at the same time. The more you know about one, the less you know about the other. Got it?â
You squint, uncertain, as you rest your chin in the hollow of your palm. âMh-hmmâŠâ
âSo,â he draws two Delta symbols, each followed by an x and a p, then an equal sign, âthis one represents the uncertainty in position while the other represents the uncertainty in momentum.â He leans slightly forward to clearly define the terms for you before breaking down the formula, trying not to sweat under the ghost of your breath caressing his hand because of how close you are.
âOkay. I donât think I quite got all that.â
âItâs okay,â Satoru replies with a slight smile as he adjusts his glasses on his nose before returning to the sheet. âYou confused uncertainty with actual errors in measurement, and you tried to calculate exact values for both position & momentum, which isnât possible.â He draws an example of throwing a ball vs. tracking an electron. âYou canât pin down a quantum particle perfectly â itâs like me trying to figure out what youâre thinking all the time. Impossible, right?â
â...Right.â
âYou donât understand anything, right?â he sighs, a slight frown curling his lips.
âHonestly? Not a word,â you chuckle, a soft, honest melody that caresses his ears.
âLetâs make it more real for you, prez, then,â he snorts too, wiping away a big smile that deepens his dimples. âImagine youâre running around campus planning this big Spring Formal thing. If I try to track exactly where you are at one moment, I have no clue where youâll be the next second. But if I focus on how fast youâre moving between meetings, I can guess youâll end up in the library⊠but I wonât know the exact second you get there. Thatâs basically the Uncertainty Principle â canât have both at the same time.â
âOhhhh, okay!â you say, a light illuminating your face. But a second later, your features drop. âBut, wait⊠that doesnât make sense. If we have better tools, we can just measure both, right?â
He chuckles softly. âNope. Even if we had the best measuring tools in the universe, the universe itself wonât let us know both at the same time. Itâs not a technology problem â itâs just how nature works.â
You groan, frustrated, and slump over your notes. âPhysics is pain.â
He shakes his head, a lighter smile blooming on his lips. âYouâll get it, I promise. You just need time⊠and a good tutor.â
âYou?â You snicker, but not meanly â just teasing him in this mood that feels so comfortable with him, something you never thought youâd experience. âYouâre losing me more than I was before.â
You both sigh after a while, and he gives you a practice exercise, which you rush to complete so he can correct it.
For the first time in maybe weeks, or even months, you havenât felt this light. Quantum physics has always been a difficult challenge to overcome, despite your habit of planning everything to avoid stress. But sometimes, doing everything alone has led you to not ask for help when you needed it the most.
So when someone reached out and showed you how relieving some of that weight could feel, the sensation sparked a desire in you â one that didnât want this to end.
But youâre afraid it will make you dependent.
So itâs best not to get too attached, right?
~~~~
The following week, even though your understanding of quantum physics has somewhat improved, your stress refuses to do anything but skyrocket toward a full-blown anxiety attack.
Principal Yaga summoned you to his office because some students â the two you expelled last week â went to complain about your nervous and excessive behavior, claiming it warranted psychological support.
Outraged, you defended yourself by pointing out the inefficiency of your team, who fail to meet your needs without considering the mental load that comes with your responsibility as the student council president. And yet, that wasnât enough to calm Yaga, who dismissed you with a stern reminder that if you donât finalize the Spring Formal preparations soon, he wonât hesitate to replace you with a more competent organizer.
The mere thought â no, the haunting fearâof being replaced like a cheap supermarket doll plagues your nights with nightmares.
So, the obvious anxiety growing inside you bleeds into the most crucial moments â the moments when youâre supposed to stay focused instead of silently wallowing in your situation.
âNeed help, prez?â
Ripped from your daze, you lift your gaze to the voice beside you, only now realizing that heâs been sitting next to you since the start of the lecture â completely unnoticed, completely ignored.
Itâs Satoru, his laptop open in front of him, a small, friendly smile turned toward youâand only you. That tiny detail sends a strange, foreign wave through your stomach â not unpleasant, though.
âOh, youâre here,â you mumble, turning your attention back to the professor.
âSince the very start, yes,â he replies, his voice softer now, tinged with a faint hint of disappointment as he twirls his pencil between his long, nimble fingers.
A silence settles between you, neither of you seeming inclined to break it.
In the lecture hall, only the sound of keyboards clicking and the amplified voice of the professor fill the large room. You try your best to follow along, scribbling notes as diligently as you can, but at this point, it feels like trying to form words by randomly pressing keys â you understand nothing.
âNeed help?â
You slowly lift your head toward the familiar voice.
âYou can explain it to me later, you know?â you mutter, careful not to let anyone else overhear your conversation â it could cost you.
âAnd we could save time by explaining it now.â His tone is soft, rational, kind, altruistic â every synonym that embodies maturity and gentle responsibility.
Heâs made of sugar. Just for you.
You sigh, finally giving in with a nod, as Satoru flips his laptop into tablet mode to explain the purpose of the chapter â the name of which youâve only just learned, despite an hour and a half of lecture on Wave-Particle Duality.
âSo,â he says, writing the formula on his tablet with a stylus. âThe general concept is quite easy. Quantum objects â like electrons â can act as both particles and waves, okay?â
You nod, leaning in closer to his shoulder to observe the definitions of the formulaâs terms â a faint scent brushes against your senses. Clean laundry and a subtle drop of cologne. The scent imprints itself in your lungs pleasantly enough that you have to mentally slap yourself to keep from getting distracted from Satoruâs explanations.
He glances at you with those sharp blue eyes and raises an eyebrow. âYou know what wavelength means?â
âItâs just for light, right?â
He snorts quietly. âParticles.â
âOh.â
He holds back another laugh and continues his explanations.
Several minutes later, you find your eyes glued â no, entranced â by Satoru, this nerd with glasses that hide a brain far too brilliant for you. Maybe even for the entire university.
You notice it in everything he does â setting aside his physical appearance, which youâre starting to find cuter and cuter without even realizing it â every cell of his body breathes science, logic, the thirst for discovery. His brain analyzes every possibility, his fingers manipulate rationality, and his glasses help him weigh the pros and cons. His long, straight nose gives him an infallible instinct, a sixth sense that never fails, and his smile â his pretty, thin, pink lipsâilluminate hypotheses with a dangerously innocent charm.
But he himself doesnât even realize it.
âSee? Itâs like⊠imagine if you could be both a super serious president and a total mess at physics at the same time. Oh wait â thatâs already happening,â he teases, a playful, cute smile blooming on his lips as he glances at you with sparkles in his eyes.
Oh, that damn smile.
And without meaning to, you join in his laughter, covering your mouth with your palm so as not to be heard as, for the first time in weeks, a weight is lifted from your shoulders. The little analogy that might have irritated you a few days ago seems silly to you. Why do it when heâs here?
The bell rings, announcing the end of class, and the hubbub of the students urges you to put your things away as much as possible before the teacher gives you more homework than you already have just to understand the lecture.
With your bag slung over your shoulder, you make your way towards the exit, at the end of the herd of students who have made you lose sight of Satoru. A little disappointment contracts your heart, but after all, why should he be waiting for you? There was no need. Youâre not friends. Just two students who are nice to each other (well, mostly Satoru).
So as you walk out of the lecture hall, you almost come face to face with a 6â3. Your nose collides painfully with a hard, bumpy surface â wait, of abs?
Impossible.
A hand much larger than yours wraps around your elbow to steady you and meets your eyes down on your wincing face.
âOops, sorry,â Satoru apologizes as his smile evaporates. âAre you okay? I just wanted to wait for you.â
Was it abs?
âNo worries, I'm fine,â you assure with a smile as self-conscious as it is forced, one hand rubbing your sore nose. âThat's sweet.â Then you look away to calm the blush that spreads like a puddle from your neck to your scalp and pray it's unseen.
âYou sure?â he insists with a concerned frown.
â...Sure.â
Once your face has cooled, your eyes stare at the spot on his torso where your nose collided. That flat spot under the shirt that appears a little less to you now, seen up close. It's as if with every swell of his breath, you can see the beginnings of an abdominal bulge, but you shake your head to get this far-fetched idea out of your head.
Letting your hand fall back, you offer him a more confident smile and lead the way. âShall we?â
With a slower nod, he follows you.
To bridge the silence between the two of you in the deserted corridors, you nudge him in the ribs and say, âYou know, I still donât get how you find physics fun.â
He feigns pain and smirks â does he only smile when heâs with you?
âI donât find it fun, strictly speaking, but really very interesting. At least, enough to make me face my major.â He pauses to give you a teasing look. âAnd I still donât get how you survive on four hours of sleep.â
âI am a vampire,â you grin stupidly, âI love working at night. I feel productive.â
âI see that. Your bags speak for you,â he chortles.
âFor real?â you mouth, running your fingers over your dark circles as if to check his words when it makes more sense to look in the mirror rather than feel you up.
âJust joking,â he murmurs, dropping his gaze on the floor a second before looking up back at you. âBut you seem very stressed lately, am I wrong?â
You donât answer right away, reluctant to tell him about your doubts and whatâs been bothering you for weeks. But you can. This is just two friends from the same quantum physics class strolling around campus at the end of a long day, isnât it?
But maybe not close enough for him to be really interested in you? Maybe heâs just asking questions out of politeness and not out of any real concern for you. After all, youâre not really close.
âIt's alright, just uni and student council stuff, as always,â you murmur with averted eyes. âWe also need to plan our next tutoring session.â
âYeah...â Satoru shoves his hands in his pockets and lets silence fill the gap between the two of you before resuming. âMaybe we could do it somewhere else this time, couldnât we?â he offers without much hope in his voice.
You knit your brows. âWhat?â
âI mean... do youâuh, never mind.â
You raise an eyebrow. âHuh?â
He seems to chicken out and look away but you catch it before he could hide it â the tips of his ears are red.
âNothing. Just... youâre really into this whole Spring Formal thing, huh?â he mumbles.
âOf course. I have a lot of work to do on it. But what were you asking me?â you insist with a softer tone and your hand wrapping around his arm â remarkably built, you note internally.
He finally twists his neck toward you to face you, lips pursed into a conflicted pout.
âYouâre going to refuse.â
âYou didnât even try to ask,â you almost in a mid gasp and chuckle.
He runs a hand through his tousled snowy hair, then slips it around the back of his neck, rubbing it like a nervous tic. âI see that youâre stressed â even if you deny it. So would you accept to... maybe do work on our tutoring lessons in a better place?â He panics slightly under your unfathomable gaze, just waiting for the next part of his words. âI mean... I know a place where it could be less stressful and more relaxing because you deserve it... But of course,â he adds hastily, âit doesnât commit you to anything and you donât have to accept and we can totally carry on doing it at the library because really itâs just a stupid idea and I should just keep my mouth shutââ
âSatoru.â
His heart stops beating and he thinks his brain has short-circuited as he realizes itâs the first time you've said his first name in that tone.
Softly, reassuringly, and with obvious joy.
âOf course Iâd like to work with you somewhere else. It means a lot to me that you thought of me like that,â you say softly as you stop in front of some stairs so you can look him straight in the eye. âI can give you my phone number and youâll just have to send me the address, howâs that?â
Okay. His brain really has just short-circuited.
He doesnât even remember how he managed to hand you his phone and record your number, wish you a good evening and return to his dormitory after being subjected to your beaming smile â of a particular radiance heâs never seen before on your face in all the time, however long, heâs spent gazing at you wherever you are â radiant even.
Lying on his bed, he stares at the ceiling. The silent night allows his thoughts to grow louder, as if several were trying to express themselves at once.
However, one image takes root in his eyelids when he closes them before sleeping.
You.
~~~~
âYou shouldnât have.â
âDo you really need to make this even more embarrassing?â
You shake your head. âItâs not fair.â
His features sag, and he lets out a tiny sigh. âJust please, accept it. I made it for you.â
At your feet lies a picnic blanket with red and white checkered patterns. On top of it are homemade sandwiches, cans of fruit juice, berries, cakes, and even a tub of ice cream resting inside a mini cooler. Satoru has even arranged the space to avoid a chaotic mess while working and has brought ultra-comfortable cushions to make the tutoring session as pleasant as possible.
He canât do this.
Not with you, who arrived at the quiet, sparsely crowded city park, right under the most magnificent Japanese cherry blossom tree.
The cool breeze blows gently around you both, sweeping away a few strands of your hair that youâre forced to tuck behind your ears.
âSit your ass down,â Satoru mumbles, looking away to hide an obvious embarrassment, though his hand pats the empty space he left just for you.
So, reluctantly, you sit cross-legged, grabbing a random sandwich â just so he wonât sulk â and try not to cry because itâs so ridiculously delicious. The berries couldnât be fresher or juicier than any youâve ever tasted, and not to mention the cakes he brought. The majority of the food is sweet â his sweet tooth showing up a little too obviously.
âHope it tastes good,â he adds, his lips forming a slight pout.
âNever ate something that good,â you respond, mouth full of food. âYouâre an angel.â
The word makes him freeze for a solid thirty seconds before he shakes his head and lets his gaze drift away â always avoiding â toward the nearby lake.
The ground is sprinkled with pale pink petals, blending into the vibrant green grass of this March afternoon. A few birds chirp in the distance, hardly anyone comes near your secluded spot, and the peaceful silence reigning over the park creates the perfect environment for getting work done.
Swallowing his own mochi, Satoru watches you take out your notes on the latest physics chapter, and instead of sitting across from you, he allows himself to settle beside you this time â without you pulling away.
He was hesitant from the start and may never be able to stop feeling nervous around you. No matter how often heâs around you or how much more familiar he grows with your presence, he canât control those sudden spikes of nervousness that hit when heâs already comfortable â only for one small action or movement to give his poor little heart a crisis.
You hand him the exercises you worked on last night, and while he reviews them, you take out your planner and notepad â the ones you carry everywhere (even to bed and the bathroom)âto go over the organization of the upcoming Spring Formal.
An event thatâs happening soon. An event with absolutely nothing planned yet.
You quietly jot down notes on possible themes, but after another glance at the endless, sprawling branches of the massive cherry tree, you sigh and toss your notepad aside onto the picnic blanket. No ideas in sight. You have no choice but to admit your incompetence. Your failure is inevitable.
âHere.â Satoru hands you back your corrected exercises, and you quickly scan through them.
Since the beginning of your sessions with him, you have to admit â youâve improved.
This time, there are fewer scribbles and corrections from Satoru. Your formulas and applications are more precise, clearer, and better developed. All thanks to your hard work and Satoruâs expert guidance â the science genius himself.
There are still some non-negligible mistakes to fix, but at least the encouraging smile from your tutor warms your chest, silently telling you that youâre on the right track.
âThis is really not bad,â he murmurs softly near your shoulder. âYouâre seriously improving.â
âThanks to my good tutor,â you reply, nudging him playfully with your elbow.
âWhat flattery. I donât deserve this much.â Yet his so-called humility is betrayed by the deep red blush dusting his ears.
âQuite the opposite. I wish I could pay you back somehow.â
âYou donât need to. I told you it was my pleasure to help you.â
âAnd I feel bad about it,â you confess in a whisper.
âDonât,â he insists â and dares to wrap his slightly trembling, warm hand over yours on the blanket.
Your heart flutters, like a butterfly trying to take flight, only to be tossed around by the wind.
âThank you,â you whisper, with more honesty than youâve ever given anyone.
âFor being a good friend? Donât worry, Iâm glad to have you as well, honestly,â he murmurs back, punctuating his words with a light squeeze of your hand.
âAnd Iââ he clears his throat, â...really appreciate you.â
Friends. Appreciate you.
âI appreciate you too. Really. Iâm sorry if I mess up every move you try with me to help me,â you add with an apologetic smile. âStress always ruins my life.â
âI told you that you couldn't deny it.â He raises his eyebrows and lift up an uncertain arm â seeing you not reacting has reassured him enough to pluck up the courage to pass it around you to console you. âTell me whatâs wrong.â
You let yourself go against him, burying half your face against him. âIâm in deep shit about organizing the Spring Formal. I havenât prepared anything, I have no idea, and yet Iâve got plenty to do. Mr. Yaga warned me that he might replace me if I went on like this, and I feel like everythingâs going to shit,â you say in a breath, a tiny barrier of vulnerability cracking.
His arm tightens in an attempt at comfort. He nods slowly, inhaling long breaths of fresh air before making a clicking sound with his tongue.
âWhereâs your notepad?â
You hand it to him without protest, and he immediately grabs it and flips through it. Then, when he finds a blank page, he grabs a pen lying near the two of you and jots down a few sentences, the words of which you can only read when he hands you the notebook.
âAn alignment of the planets?â You raise a curious, surprised eyebrow.
He nods with his chin and sketches a smile.
âIt only happens in spring, practically. And there will be one before long.â He squeezes his arm around you again and chuckles. âA theme about planets might be nice, donât you think?â
Lips parted, you gaze into the azure sky. Himself a little disarmed by your lack of reaction, he frowns without giving up his smile and softly pronounces your first name.
With zero control over your movements, thereâs nothing to stop your lips from pressing tenderly against Satoruâs smooth, soft cheek â a firm but gentle kiss leaving an invisible, indelible trace on his radiant skin as you pull away to look into his eyes again.
âYou're an angel,â you repeat a second time.
Well, the second time too, when Satoruâs heart, no longer knowing how to beat, simply stops beating.
~~~~
âMove them a little more to the rightâ Yes, thatâs perfect.â
Your trusty notepad clutched against your chest, you admire the preparations unfolding in the venue for the upcoming Spring Formal, where the theme of planetary alignment is set to make this yearâs university event truly unforgettable.
Finally, youâre no longer spending your time yelling at your team and barking orders fueled by the vibrant sparks of your stress. Instead, youâre giving clear instructions, each one accompanied by an encouraging smile for everyone.
âMaybe we could add midnight blue velvet curtains,â Satoru suggests, leaning over your shoulder, his chest brushing pleasantly against your back as he glances at the list of missing decoration orders. âWe could stick fake stars on them, and itâll draw more attention to the planets. What do you think?â
âI like the idea,â you giggle, despite the way your insides somersault when his warm breath grazes your ear, sending waves of goosebumps down your skin. You jot down a few notes as Satoru leans in even closer, gently resting his chin on your shoulder. âNot surprising, coming from the quantum physics genius of the entire university.â
Even though thereâs nothing official between you â not if you ignore the feelings and trust that make Satoru more confident and relaxed in your presence â nor any concrete relationship, the warm intimacy settling between you two is anything but uncomfortable.
Itâs like a mutual friendship, fully acknowledged by both of you, yet intertwined with threads of love left unspoken â often betrayed by moments of closeness like this one.
âYouâre gonna make me blush again,â he admits with a light laugh, soft and delicate as a cherry blossom petal.
âOh yeah?â You turn your head toward his â just enough for your faces to be so close that the tips of your noses brush. âWhy?â
He sighs, fluttering his eyes closed for a brief moment before opening them again. âYou know whyâŠâ
âIâm clueless when it comes to guessing thoughts, my hot nerd tutor,â you coo, a little grin spreading across your lips â those same lips he wanted to kiss until he couldnât breathe anymore for the rest of his life.
âMaybe I could show you, then.â And gently, he places his hands around your waist, an easy, soothing smile on his face. âIs that okay if I do that?â After your nod, his smile grows even wider. âAlso, could we do our next session at my place? I canât stay at the library today because my mom is waiting for a package while sheâs at work, so she asked me to take care of it.â
âOf course.â You take note of his suggestion while the rest of your team rushes to decorate the room and move boxes â some opened, some not. Then, you turn back to him, feeling the slight tremor of his hands against your body, the way the blood rushes alarmingly fast to his face, and how his eyes avoid yours.
âBlushing?â you giggle.
âYouâre not embarrassed? I meanâ Itâs my place, not my dorm or the library, you know,â he mumbles.
You graze a kiss on his soft cheek and grin. âYouâre freaking cute.â
âIâm not joking,â he whines lowly, a small, worried furrow forming between his brows.
âAs am I.â You give his arm a little squeeze. âEverythingâs gonna be alright. I donât mind having you all alone in your house, though.â
And you burst into laughter when he chokes on his own saliva at your words â having never seen someone turn so red before.
~~~~
âI knew you liked physics, but not that much.â
Before coming to set foot in Satoruâs room for the first time, you expected to be dealing with a simple, uncluttered, organized room, and above all far more filled with bookcases overflowing with books rather than...
...the opposite.
Stepping into Satoruâs room feels like entering a nerdy galaxy of controlled chaos. His desk is cluttered with thick physics textbooks, some stacked neatly, others left open mid-read, pages filled with complex equations you canât even begin to understand. Among them, a few manga volumes peek out, half-hidden like a guilty pleasure. Above, a whiteboard covered in messy formulas and doodles dominates the wall, the marker strokes chaotic but somehow full of purpose. His ceiling is scattered with glow-in-the-dark stars, forming actual constellations if you look closely, and a floating moon lamp sat on his nightstand, casting a soft glow over his unmade bed.
Everywhere you turn, there is something to mess with â a plasma ball that lit up at your touch, a Newtonâs Cradle clicking rhythmically on his desk, even a weird futuristic clock displaying time in some incomprehensible format. His monitors hum with life, one running a sci-fi screensaver while another had what looks like a physics simulation heâd probably forgotten about.Â
And yet, despite the overwhelming nerd energy, it was⊠comfortable. Lived-in. A place where ideas sparked and theories came to life â exactly what you could imagine his space would be if youâd thought things through a bit more.
âWow,â you murmur, entranced. âItâs⊠just beautiful. Like a museum.â
âHeh? Youâre flattering me really too much,â he chuckles nervously, scratching his neck where his undercut is. âBut Iâm glad if you like it. I want you to feel home,â he adds softly.
âHome?â You turn to him with a slightly embarrassed and moved smile. âYouâre my home, actually.â
Nothing you say makes sense. Your racing heart lets your mouth babble nonsense and scare Satoru away. Youâre far too embarrassingâ
âI feel the same for you.â
Like a needle piercing a balloon, your vital organ explodes in your chest.
The next second, your brain regains control and orders your legs to move towards him, until your torsos brush against each other and your breaths mingle, giving birth to a gentle flame that burns only to be consumed.
Satoru whispers your name. âCan I try something?â he mouths.
You nod imperceptibly, your gaze lost in his ocean eyes.
Tenderly and with the most delicate gentleness, he cups your cheeks, tilting your head so that your face faces directly forehead to his. So close, you have a detailed view of the number of his light eyelashes, the different shades of blue mingling in his irises, the pleasant warmth of his tepid breath against you.
Then, his lips brush yours first, as if testing your reaction. But when your fingers latch onto his light-brown V-neck sweater, he feels the pressure rise in his blood and slowly, but suddenly, crushes his lips against yours.
Itâs not rushed â just a soft press of lips, tentative, almost careful. As if he's afraid of breaking something fragile. So to encourage him, you sigh softly in contentment, then tilt your head the slightest bit to fit better, closer... Your hands remain gently clasped to his sweater.
He seems to get your message, because the next thing you know, heâs relaxing, moving more slowly and comfortably against yours. The world outside that moment doesnât exist. Just him, just this â his lips, softer than you expected, the careful way he kisses you, as if he is memorizing every second of it. Time stretches thin, and even when you finally pull apart, neither of you move far.
Slowly, you open your eyes, only to find him already looking at you. His gaze is different now â quieter, warmer, like he is seeing you in a way he never had before.
For a moment, neither of you speak. The silence is soft, not awkward, filled with a kind of understanding that doesnât need words. And then, just barely above a whisper, Satoru exhales a quiet, shaky laugh.
âOh.â
Just that â like he hasnât expected this, like heâs still processing the fact that it happened at all. And maybe itâs the way he looks at you, stunned and a little breathless, or maybe itâs just the warmth still lingering between you, but you find yourself smiling, a tiny, barely-there curve of your lips.
âYeah,â you murmur back, voice quieter and warmer than you intended.
Neither of you moved away. Not yet.
You lower your head, a hot flush creeping up your cheeks and neck, and that's when you also understand where his âohâ is coming from.
Oh.
While he turns away to hide his face in his hands and prays to be buried in a grave on the spot, you burst out laughing â a frank, non-judgmental laugh. Simply savoring this pleasant moment with him (albeit with one small problem).
âJust with a kiss? Satoru, I swear youâre the cutest!â you continue to laugh, half-folding with your arms hugging your belly.
âItâs not f-funny!â And the poor guy doesnât even dare turn around as he adjusts his pants, which is where his âproblemâ lies.
Smiling, you move closer to him, your lips still prickling from the perfect kiss. One of your hands slips to his shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze. âItâs okay.â
âItâs not,â he mumbles, hiding his face again from your sight.
âIt is,â you insist, wrapping your hand around his wrist to look at him. âIâm not judging you, I swear. Itâs not like you can control that, is it?â
âI know, butâ Itâs so embarrassing. I feel like a poor virgin nerd that â well, Itâs not like I am not butââ
You freeze, slowly losing your smile. âWait⊠youâre a virgin?â
He nods, a little shameful pout creasing his lips.
âIââ you trail off. Taking a short breath, you lower yourself a little more to look at him as he covers his crotch with one hand. âI can help you with that, you know.â
His eyes widen, heart hammering in his rib cage. âW-What?â
An umpteenth laugh shakes your chest. âI mean, yeah. I donât mind and I like you.â Then an idea pops into your head, like a lamp regaining its light. âLike, it would make up for the effort you put into helping me get good grades. What do you think?â
He straightens abruptly and gently but firmly pushes your hand away by the wrist. A serious look despite his embrace adds.
âNo way. I already told you I donât want anything in return.â
âBut itâs just to please you,â you insist, flickering your eyes. âDonât you want to know how it feels?â You take a few steps forward until you can wrap your arms around his perfect torso â the ideal balance of slim and muscular.
Your chin rests on his breastbone, a little imploring pout on your lips.
âCâmon, just an oral, I promise. I want to return the favor.â
He swallows hard, lips parted as if the words are stuck somewhere between embarrassment and want. His gaze flickers between your face and the floor, a mix of reluctance and curiosity in his eyes.
âBut Iââ His voice cracks slightly, a nervous laugh escaping him. âI donât know what Iâm doingâŠâ
You smile, a quiet, knowing smile, and slide your fingers slowly down his arm, your touch lingering on his skin. âItâs okay,â you say, your breath barely above a whisper. âIâll guide you.â
You can see him shiver at the words, his chest rising and falling rapidly. You take your time, moving in closer, making sure to leave no space between you. Your lips brush against his jaw, a delicate kiss that makes his entire body stiffen for a split second. He doesnât pull away, though, and thatâs enough to encourage you to go further.
âJust relax,â you tease, pulling back slightly to look up at him. âI promise Iâm not going to bite.â
âI know, I just need to sit a bit,â he whispers, a wave of uncertainty in his eyes.
You pull away from him, feeling the palpable tension between the two of you. âOf course.â You take his hand in yours and guide him onto his bed. When he sits down on the mattress, you find yourself kneeling between his legs.
As your hands busily unzip his straight gray twill pants, you maintain eye contact. âTell me if itâs too much or if you wanna stop, okay love?â
Love.
He nods gently, his elbows pressed into the softness of the mattress to get a view of your movements without him lying down completely. Lips trembling, Satoru feels obliged to bite them to calm himself as the heat almost suffocates him while all he has left is his boxer shorts hiding his growing erection under the thin fabric.
You can feel the air thickening between you, charged with the kind of quiet intensity that makes your pulse race. Your fingertips wrap around the waistband of his boxers and tug them down gently, letting the fabric rub against his length while heâs hissing.
âSweetheartââ
âRelax, Iâm just getting started,â you chuckle fondly.
When the underwear is pulled down, his erection springs free, slamming on his half-covered abdomen. The poor little thing, left alone, twitches painfully â dragging sounds like cute and innocent whimpers from Satoru â like itâs begging for your touch for a decade.
You curl your lips together, genuinely stunned by his size. 7 inches isnât nothing.
âSo youâre packing this from the start?â
âIâ NoâŠâ He sighs, clenching his jaw as his eyes flutter closed. âPlease, itâs already embarrassing.â
âBut why? Youâre beautiful, Satoru. And Iâm not talking about your dick,â you snort. Your gentle, affectionate tone makes Satoru forget how to breathe and open his eyes again. âYouâre beautiful on the inside too.â
âYouâre only flatteringââ
âI am not,â you state firmly, getting up from your knees to straddle his hips and cup his cheeks until they puff like mochiâs and heâs pouting.
Fucking adorable.
âHave you ever been into a relationship?â you whisper after pecking a kiss on the corner of his lips.
He shakes his head, stuttering a no.
âSo can I call you mine? Because Iâd be yours if I could,â you mutter next to his jaw where you peck another kiss that makes him shiver and grip your hips with his hands.
He opens his mouth to say something and hesitates. âA-Are you sure?â he asks, eyes filled with doubt. âIâm a nerd andââ
âAnd my type is nerd guys,â you cut him off before pulling him into a passionate kiss. He gasps, tightening his grip on your as his lips gently taste your and steal his breath away. âI love you, Satoru.â
âLove you more. Since the first time I laid my eyes on you,â he murmurs back between kisses, eyelids shut.
You slightly pull away, a smile springing to your lips. âPinning on me for so long? Aw, sorry to have been blind for this long too, then.â
He resists the urge to take you in his arms and lets you back down onto your knees, this time with his oversensitive cock throbbing in your hands as you begin to stroke it up and down, base to tip with all the slowness you can manage so as not to make him cum too quickly.
Satoruâs hips jerk up instantly, his chest rising and lowering because of his stuttering breath.
âYour hands feel so good and soft,â he whispers, sliding his big hands up to your shoulders, which he gently massages to relax you too. What a gentleman. âSo much better than mineâŠâ
âYeah? You like it?â Eager to please him for his first time, you place a kiss on his angry red tip, licking a little strop with the tip of your own tongue.
âHgnâ easy,â he pants, hands shaking slightly as they interrupt their massages on your shoulders when yours lead them on your head, tangled with your locks. âWhat are youââ
âYou can use my hair, if you want.â And you punctuate your words by taking his length back between your hands and kiss the fat head. It twitches in response, stealing little giggles from your sweet lips. Beads of precum leak along his length, helping you to wet him enough to stroke him faster as you part your lips and slide them down the length of him.
Satoruâs breath hitches when you take him, sucking in slow, deep strokes as your hand grips the base of him. You pull back slightly, your lips sliding back up, and you hear him groan, a sound that makes you ache. You repeat the motion, taking him deeper, sucking harder as you run your tongue along the underside of his cock, feeling him twitch in your mouth before you pull back again.
âFeel good?â you ask sweetly.
âYouâre perfect,â he breathes out â even whimpering in neediness, âthank you so muchâŠâ His hands tighten in your hair, pulling you even closer, but itâs not enough.
You donât stop. Instead, you take him deeper, your lips tightening around him as you move faster, the sound of your mouth on his cock filling the room, drowning out everything else. Satoruâs breath grows shallow, irregular, his body starting to tense, his legs flexing as he tries to hold back.
But you can feel it. The way he is so close, the way his body is winding tighter with every flick of your tongue. His fingers pulled at your hair, unsure to guide you just how he wants because what you were doing is already something heâll owe you all his entire life â he is desperate, needing his release.
âF-Fuck,â he stutters, fingers digging in your scalp deliciously for you pleasure. âI love you, but please, gânnaââ
ââcum? Yeah, do it, love,â you purr affectionately as you teasingly suck his sensitive tip until heâs whining and fighting for his hips to not thrust up and hurt you.
He is there â at the edge â his cock twitching in your mouth, and you know he canât hold on much longer. With one last deep, slow pull, he cums, his hips jerking as he releases into your mouth with a long, desperate groan. You swallow every drop, sucking him clean, your hands gently massaging his thighs as he slowly comes down from the high.
Satoruâs breath is ragged, his body shuddering as he slowly opens his eyes. He looks at you like youâre some sort of angel from heaven, and you smile, wiping the corner of your mouth before standing up.
âFeel better?â you ask teasingly, your voice light despite the heat still pooling in your stomach.
He sighs deeply, rubbing his eyes before carefully sitting up and hugs you in a tight embrace. He blows kisses all over your face, murmuring thank yous and how much he loves you and you find yourself in awe.
âYouâre welcome, itâs the least that I can do for you, after all.â You press a big, firm, and sincere kiss on his cheek, and cannot stop smiling.
~~~~
The main room is bathed in a deep blue, soft, ambient light, the atmosphere almost otherworldly. Stars shimmer faintly on the walls, and delicate, hanging lanterns cast a stunning cold glow, like constellations scattered across the ceiling. The whole room seems alive, breathing with energy, as guests drift through the space, their laughter and chatter blending into a gentle hum.
At the center of the hall are huge telescopes, available for anyone curious enough to observe tonightâs planet alignment. The most important event of the Spring Formal.
Around the perimeter, tables are set with shimmering candles, their flames flickering softly, casting shadows on the faces of the students whoâve come to admire the setup. The smell of roses and lavender lingers in the air, mixing with the faint scent of freshly baked treats at the snack table. It feels like a dream â a celebration of the night sky brought to life.
Satoru stands beside you, his hand lightly brushing against yours as you both take in the beauty of the room. His smile is small but warm, his gaze drifting from the decorations to the crowd. Thereâs an unspoken pride in the way he looks at you, knowing you had a hand in making all of this happen, bringing the theme of the planets to life with such care.
âThis is... perfect,â he says, voice soft but full of admiration. His words are simple, but they carry weight. You feel a soft warmth settle in your chest at the sincerity in his tone.
A small smile blooms on your lips. âYeahâŠâ you agree, turning to face him fully, now a grin spreading across your face. âIt really turned out great. Thanks to you.â
His cheeks tint pink at the praise, and he shrugs, trying to act nonchalant, but the pride in his eyes is unmistakable.
âYou really made this all come together,â he says, voice full of admiration. âItâs amazing.â
For a moment, you simply smile at each other, a comfortable silence settling between you. The warmth of his gaze makes your heart flutter in your chest.
âWant to dance?â you ask, already knowing his answer, but wanting to ask all the same.
He hesitates for a moment, that same shy, unsure side of him creeping back, but the smile on his lips says everything.
âYeah,â he says, his hand finding yours once again, this time with more confidence. âIâd love to.â
As you both step onto the dance floor, the lights change again, and for a moment, the two of you are surrounded by the glow of the stars and lanterns, your bodies moving to the soft music that fills the room. Itâs not a fast, frantic dance â just slow and gentle, like youâre in your own little world. You feel the gentle sway of the music, and the weight of everything around you fades, leaving just the two of you in perfect harmony.
Maybe itâs the magic of the planets aligning, or maybe itâs just him â but either way, you think, you wouldnât mind orbiting around Gojo Satoru a little longer.
a/n: there we go! I AM DRAINED BC OF SCHOOL AND COURSES GUIDANCE BC LAW IS SO HARDDDD!! hum hum, beside that, i hope you guys had a nice week and that you are all taking care of your little faces (if not i'm gonna do it for you). writing this felt like... refreshing? i mean, nerdjo is the little mochi i'm eating when i go to the supermarket lol. and gosh, he's so cute that i'm going crazy haha.
reblogs, comments, and likes are very appreciated as always <3
also, this is how i pictured this cutie pie:

tags: @bearwithmoo @elliesndg @lymsfm @mutsu422 @drippymcdrippison @koshhin @v31v3t @wisheclairr @sanemistar @monokaix
#[azra masterlist]#[dividers by @/saradika]#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jujutsu kaisen#gojo smut#satoru gojo smut#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader smut#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo fanfiction#satoru gojo fluff#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo x reader smut#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru fanfiction#gojo satoru fluff#jujutsu gojo
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i cant fet myself to do anything
#kitty talks#i wish i didnt care this much. iâve just been really lonely and feeling bad. i get like this every once in a while. and i just kind of want+#my transition out of this cesshole to go smoothly. like it was. i thought it was. i hung out with them earlier this week. i thiught it was +#nice. idk. like. i know i could ask but it feels fucking stupid. like weâve agreed before that i am included always. like im their friend#but like. i guess not actually. like. it just feels slightly inconsiderate and makes me feel very insecure#100% wouldve been invited if i wasnt feeling so bad. like id be the first to know. but alas. if ur sad for a while kitty and ur starting to+#feel better but slowly we will just not give u any other chances to feel better faster. just get out of this depression hole ur in first +#and THEn u can have the privilege of human connection and having fun. ur scum and u should kill yeself tho lowkey.#what is wring with me and what is wrong with them and what is foing on and i need to stop thinking so much and fucking showrr and eat food#i am so behind on everything and the only thing i want to catch up on is connections but its always at the stake of my well being#need to stop wanting to be with ppl and feel good. need to just clean my damn apartment and forget everything else#i hate how useless i am
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: ÌÌâ bouncer simon 'ghost' riley - 02
cw : sexual theme, public sex
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simon was never the insecure type. not when it came to women, so dating a stripper was nothing to him. it wasn't for everyone, especially when he watched you work. it was tricky not to get a hard on every five minutes.
but at the end of the night, it was his dick that had you dumb, and that's all that mattered.
none of the fuckers coming in here would ever be able to satisfy a beauty like you-it was written all over their desperate faces. useless.
you, however, were not above jealousy. your relationship-if you could even call it that-was still fresh, and you had begged simon to keep quiet about it at the club. not that he was the talkative type to begin with.
relationship. you scoffed at the thought, taking another drag of your cigarette as you mulled over whatever the hell it was you had with simon.
every night for the past three weeks, he'd take you back to his place, fuck you stupid-turn your brain to mush until you couldn't string a single thought together-then cleaned you up, made sure you were warm and tucked in before you passed out.
and every morning, you woke up alone.
where he went-every single time-you had no clue. the gym, the grocery store, god knows where. all you knew was that by the time you opened your eyes, he was gone, leaving you to drag yourself back to your place and get ready for the day.
it wasn't the healthiest setup, nor the most romantic. but you let yourself be okay with it. because at the end of the night, you were always in simon's bed.
still, deep down, you wanted more. to be more than just a body.
shaking your head, you made your way back to the lockers, barely paying attention to the chatter around you. you were focused on fixing your hair, mind elsewhere-until you heard his name.
well, not his name. but ghost. you were the only one knowing his name amongst the girls.
"bet he fucks like an animal," the first girl drawled, her thick new york accent growing heavier as she got more worked up. "all quiet, brooding... those are the ones that do the nastiest shit. i know he talks filthyâit's always the silent ones."
the second girl just laughed, nodding in agreement when you caught her eye in the mirror.
you had to bite your tongue to keep from telling them just how right they were. not because you wanted to gossip-no, you wanted to bđłđąg. to show him off. he was yours.
"reckon he might be gay," a third girl cut in, her brummie accent making it sound even more blunt "đȘi mean, ya ever seen him look at any of the girls âere? always just lurkinâ in the shadows, not sayinâ a word."
when the others stared at her like she was talking mad, she just shrugged and added, "đłđŠmđŠmbđŠđł đłudy? đŻđŠvđŠđł gđąvđŠ us đą sđŠcđ°đŻd đđ°đ°k đŻđŠđȘđ”đ©đŠđł, đ”đ©đŠđŻ wđŠ đ§đ°uđŻd đ°uđ” đ©đŠ gđ°đ” đ§đȘđłđŠd đ§đ°đł gđŠđ”đ”đȘđŻ' bđŠđŻđ” đ°vđŠđł đȘđŻ đ”đ©đŠ bđąck đąđđđŠy⊠jusđ” sđąyđȘđŻ', gđ©đ°sđ” cđ°uđd bđŠ đ”đ©đŠ sđąmđŠ."
you laughed out loud at that. yeah, you remembered rudy-what a time that had been. you loved this job, and gossiping in the locker room was half the fun.
but god, they couldn't have been more wrong about ghost.
heading back toward the stage, you missed the rest of their conversation-something about putting on a special show. whatever. you had work to do.
as you stepped onto the stage and started moving, slow and deliberate around the pole, you felt his eyes on you. they grounded you, made you feel safe in a way you'd never needed before. but now? you weren't ready to give it up.
just as the next song started, you were sweetly smiling at a loaded old man who kept slipping you ÂŁ50 bills when you spotted your dear colleague making her way toward simon. at first, you paid it no mind-he wasn't exactly approachable-but something about her attitude in the locker room rubbed you the wrong way.
you knew something was up when she trailed after him during his break. you had no more breaks-you were off in an hour-so all you could do was watch from the stage as she followed him to god knows where. it wasn't like simon not to be aware of his surroundings, so you knew he knew she was there.
it was the longest hour known to mankind. they hadn't come back, and you had to dance your arse off while nursing the sting of betrayal.
you'd thought you and simon had something special. turned out, you were just another bitch in a club.
once the hour was up, you didn't bother sweet-talking anyone-you stormed off the stage, ready to call it a night. a part of you wanted to find simon, just so you could punch his handsome face.
the only place that came to mind was the staff bathroom-the very same place he'd fucked you for the first time. did he take all the girls there? rounding the corner, you heard it.
grunts. and throat noises?
damn, she was a nasty one. it was still early for a strip club-all the girls were still here.
at that very moment, you had never been more disgusted by a man in your life. the fact that he'd let just anyone get on their knees for him in a public bathroom-like a fucking pig. you never had anything special, did you?
you had been a warm little convenient thing for him. easy. disposable.
you were ready to storm in and throw hands. at who? you still weren't sure.
you needed the money, sure, but you'd find another club. one of the main rules was no fighting among the girls-especially not over a dick. but fuck it. the second was: don't fuck the costumers.
you were seeing red. you felt dirty and humiliated.
hand on the door, you started pushing when strong arms wrapped around you, a firm hand clamping over your mouth. before you could react, you were dragged into the janitor's closet, the door shutting behind you.
"dumb little girl, thinking i put my dick anywhere." simon groaned in your ear, rubbing his hard on against your arse. "could see it in your pretty head, you're always overthinking, aren't you?"
the hand that had been clamped on your mouth loosened slightly, fingers trailing down to your throat instead, squeezing just the way you liked. "need my dick to turn that brain off, right lovie?" he had lowered his voice again, and you could hear the smirk in it.
his deep voice in your ear made it impossible to think straight. the way he kept rubbing didn't help either. you snapped back to reality when you heard it-his belt buckle.
you started thrashing a bit, trying to escape his grip, but it was pointless. you knew he'd never hurt you, but if he wanted you somewhere, you'd be there-no question.
"gonna take it like my good girl, right?" simon's voice dripped in your ear. "i must admit, your jealousy was fucking hot. the anger on your face? damn, got me hard in a minute."
all the noises in the background only heightened the moment. you could still hear the other girl in the bathroom, the music from the main stage, and the girls rushing up and down the corridor. you could get caught at any moment, but it was all so fucking thrilling.
at least they'd see he was yours. no one else's.
just as simon entered you, his hand back on your mouth to quiet your moan, the girl in the bathroom got caught by your manager. screams, tears, and apologies echoed from the closet.
that should have stopped simon; it was the reasonable thing to do. but fuck reason. you felt so good, so tight, so warm. and he'd been honest when he said your anger had turned him on.
fuck this job anyway.
so he kept going, and he was not gentle with it. over the weeks, he had known what you liked, how you liked it and how much you could handle. he had noticed your little thing for public intercourses. he was giving you the all package.
he kept on going with his filthy words in your ear, and by the way you clenched on his dick, he knew he was doing the right thing. fuck, this might be heaven.
"tsk, tsk, tsk," simon began as your voice grew louder and louder. "do you really want to get caught now?" he taunted, mocking you.
when you didn't answer, he kept pushing you further by taking his hand away from your lips, a stray of spit following the movement. it was filthy, just how he loved it. immediately, he felt you panic, your hand reaching for his to put it back.
"my dumb girl, still need me to do all the work," he added, nipping your neck as his grip on your face tightened, just like his hips. you were both close, and he knew it.
by now, nearly all the girls were just outside the closet, probably trying to sneak a peek at what was happening in the restroom. your manager's voice echoed through the space as he explained that this was a renowned establishment, and what your colleague had been doing was something reserved for lowlife places.
in your state, you were still grateful he was shouting, because if he hadn't, you were sure some of the girls would hear the sound of simon's thighs slapping against yours. just the thought of it pushed you over the edge, without warning.
"fuck." simon's grunts were unexpected, too. he usually had better control over himself, but you? you were just special.
you were slowly coming down from your high as simon gently rubbed you stomach, trying to calm your breathing as much as his.
"and where the fuck is the bouncer when you need him, aye?" your manager's voice boomed in the corridor. "no fucking customers, that's part of his fucking job!"
oh, she had been fucking a costumer.
"think i'm jobless again, lovie," simon whispered gently in your ear. "worth it," he continued, sweetly kissing your neck, the exact spot he had nipped just minutes before, surely leaving a mark.
yeah, fuck this job.
#coming back with filth lmao#call of duty#cod#cod mw2#cod mw3#simon riley#simon ghost riley#ghost#task force 141#bouncer!simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost x reader#ghost x you#cod x reader#cod x you#simon riley blurb#ghost blurb#cod blurb#blurb#silly's writing
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Three Is Company



. Summary: When they realize you are insecure about your place in your relationship, Odysseus and Penelope take matters into their own hands to show you that you are loved and cherished. . Pairing: poly! OdyPen x gn! Reader . Warnings: Insecurity about one's place in a relationship, swearing, physical intimacy (non-sexual), implications of sex if you squint . Notes: Â Today's a rainy day, and I honestly just wanted to stay in bed all day, so this is kinda self indulgent. It doesn't help that I'm very hormonal and feeling lonely right now, I gotta cope somehow, y'know? Art taken from peachyytown's would you fall in love with me again animatic Hearts devider made by @saradika-graphics, taken from this post small rant at the end

The pleasant warmth of the sun kissed your skin, its soft golden glow coaxing you from your slumber. Your eyelids fluttered open sluggishly, only to immediately squeeze shut again as the light pierced through your drowsiness. A grimace tugged at your lips as you tried to adjust, your body reluctant to leave the comfort of sleep.
Above you, leaves rustled softly, stirred by the gentle breeze drifting in through the window. The air smelled faintly salty, tinged with the scent of the nearby sea and the lingering coolness of the morning. The only other sounds in the room were the slow, rhythmic breaths of those still lost in sleep, accompanied by the occasional faint murmur from someone still deep in sleep.
For a moment, you simply laid there, caught between wakefulness and the tempting pull of sleep. The warmth of the sun made you sluggish, inviting you to close your eyes again and bask in its embrace like a lazy house cat. You reached up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes in a useless attempt to will yourself awake, but the weight of morning still clung to you.
Without warning, something small and light tumbled onto your faceâa delicate olive branch, no longer than your hand, with just a few leaves clinging to its slender stem. Your breath hitched for a split second before realizing it wasn't some bug descending upon you, just a harmless gift from the tree. Exhaling softly, you plucked it from your face and held it up, turning it this way and that way against the golden sunlight. The leaves, a muted but still beautiful green, glowed at the edges where the light caught them, their veins intricate like tiny rivers stretching across a map. The branch itself was slightly twisted, its bark smooth and cool under your fingers, a quiet reminder of the tree standing over you.
A gentle shift beside you pulled you from your quiet observation. The sound of a body stirring, fabric rustling against skin, brought you back to realityâthe present, the now. You turned your head and found them: Penelope and Odysseus, nestled together in peaceful slumber, their arms loosely wrapped around each other as if the gods themselves had sculpted them from love and devotion. The sunlight spilling through the window cast a golden glow over them, highlighting the curve of Penelope's cheek against Odysseus' chest, the way his fingers rested lightly on her arm. It was a scene so effortlessly perfect, so achingly serene, that for a moment, you could do nothing but stare.
No, not a sceneâa masterpiece. They weren't just part of a work of art. They were the art itself. And you? You were merely the spectator. No matter how close you stood to it, how much you admired it, you would never be part of it.
The thought hit harder than expected, lodging itself somewhere deep in your chest. A reality check, sharp and sobering. If you weren't awake before, you sure as hell were now.
And so, you made your decision. You had a long day ahead of you, after all.
For a moment, your face fell as you took in the sight before you, drinking in what you would never haveâone last time. You savored every detail, memorizing the way the golden morning light kissed their skin, the slow, steady rhythm of their breathing, the warmth that lingered in the air between them. You tried to etch it into your mind, as if holding onto the image would somehow let you carry it with you for the rest of the day.
With a quiet exhale, you steeled yourself. Time to move.
Slowly, you sat up, the weight of sleep still clinging to your limbs. You ran a hand over your face, brushing away stray hairs that had tangled in your lashes and wiping away the dried trail of drool on your chin with a small grimace. Stretching your arms above your head, you felt your back and shoulders crack with a satisfying pop, the stiffness of sleep ebbing away.
Careful not to disturb the two sleeping beside you, you peeled back the covers and slipped your legs over the edge of the bed. The floor was cool beneath your feet as you stood, taking a moment to regain your balance. Moving as quietly as possible, you gathered your discarded belongings from the night before, every movement deliberate, every breath held as if the very air itself could betray you.
The tall double doors leading to the rest of the palace stood before you, a silent threshold between the comfort of this room and the world beyond, where the quiet hum of servants beginning their morning routines barely registered in the distance. You reached for the door and carefullyâso carefullyâbegan to pull it open, just enough to slip through unnoticed.
The gods, it seemed, had other plans.
A groanâlow, deep, and deafening in the once serene quietâechoed through the chamber as the door resisted, protesting your escape like some cursed relic refusing to be moved. The sound was atrocious, like a rusted gate being wrenched open after centuries of abandonment. Alrightâmaybe that was an exaggeration, but to you, in that moment, it might as well have been a war horn announcing your departure. You winced, every muscle tensing as if you could will the sound away.
And thenâ
"Where are you going?"
Shit.
You froze.
Odysseus' voice, low and rough from sleep but sharp with instinct, locked you in place. Slowly, you turned your head to find him sitting up, one hand planted on the bed for support while the other remained on Penelope's arm. Even after all this time, even here, in the safety of his own home, his body still reacted like that of a soldierâtrained to wake at the first hint of disturbance, a guard dog forever on edge. His tired eyes, heavy with both exhaustion and years of hardship, fixed on you, silently demanding an answer.
Beside him, Penelope stirred at the sudden movement, her brow creasing as she hovered between dreams and wakefulness.
Shit.
Swallowing hard, you finally forced the words out.
"IâI wasâ"
The sentence faltered before it could fully form, the weight of his gaze pressing down on you like a boulder. Your throat felt tight, your mind scrambling for an excuse, a justificationâanythingâbut nothing sounded right. You cursed the damn door for betraying you, for dragging you into this conversation when you had so carefully tried to slip away unnoticed.
Odysseus didn't rush you. He simply watched, eyes never wavering, waiting with the same patience he carried in battle, as if you were an opponent yet to make your move.
Finally, you forced yourself to say it.
"I was just leaving."
A single brow lifted. His confusion was obvious, but something else lingered beneath itâsomething heavier, something that made your stomach twist.
"You always do this..." His voice was steady, but there was a hint of disappointment threading through it, subtle yet sharp enough to make you flinch. "You leave before we even get a chance to look at you in the morning."
You felt yourself shrink under his words, as if you could make yourself small enough to disappear entirely.
Before you could even think of how to respond, Penelope stirred, shifting against Odysseus as her eyes fluttered open. His gaze softened immediately, dropping to her as he ran a comforting hand along her arm, a silent reassurance that everything was fine. You felt another pang in your chest, a familiar ache that you had learned to swallow down like bitter medicine.
But in that moment, you were also grateful. Grateful that his eyes had left you, even if only for a second.
The thought of boltingâactually sprinting out of the room and retreating to the safety of your ownâflashed across your mind. But before you could act on it, Penelope's gaze settled on you, sharp despite the haze of sleep. Now, two pairs of eyes pinned you in place.
"What's happening?" Her voice was low, laced with quiet concern.
"They were just leaving." Odysseus answered, not looking away from you.
"Why?" Penelope's questioning glance flickered between you and her husband, her brows knitting together.
Odysseus let out a breath, the sound barely audible but weighted with something unspoken. "I ask myself the same thing."
Their gazes searched yours, trying to find somethingâanythingâthat would give them an answer. You did everything in your power to avoid meeting their eyes. But there was something about them, about the way they waited, that hurt more than if they had just let you go. Their patience, their quiet understandingâit burned more than any harsh words ever could.
You didn't want patience. You didn't want kindness. Because when it was inevitably taken away, when reality came crashing down and reminded you of your place, it would hurt a thousand times worse.
You just wanted to get out of there.
"So?"
You swallowed thickly, forcing down everything else you wanted to say.
"I thought you two would want to be alone when you woke up."
The words were barely above a whisper, strained and hollow, but they heard them. You could tell by the way their expressions shifted, by the way their patience turned into something softerâsomething that made it even worse.
"Why would you think that, darling?" Penelope's voice was gentle, too gentle, and it cut deeper than she could ever know.
Desperate to escape, you blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
"Why would you? I mean, look at youâ" You gestured vaguely, frustration tightening in your chest. "What more use could I possibly serve?"
Their faces fell, their warmth dimming into something softer, something unbearably gentle. The way they looked at youâlike you were something precious, something lovedâmade your stomach twist. You mistook it for pity, and that only made your frustration grow.
"...Dear." Penelope was the first to move. Slowly, deliberately, she freed herself from the covers, approaching you with the careful grace of someone stepping toward a wild animal. Like if she made one wrong move you'd bolt.
You hated being treated like that. But the worst part was knowing why they did it.
And yet, you couldn't stop yourself from keeping your walls up. Even if it only made the feeling worse.
She stopped just before you, close enough that the warmth of her skin reached yours. You triedâreally triedâto look away, to avoid those deep, knowing eyes, but your body betrayed you. You met her gaze despite yourself, and she held it, searching for something in you, something you weren't sure you had anymore.
Then, gently, she reached up and cupped your cheek.
You wanted to pull away. You should have pulled away. But your body refused, leaning into the warmth before your mind even caught up. You cursed yourself for the lapse and forced yourself to still.
"Is that what you think?" Her voice was quiet, almost pained. "That we just use you and then cast you aside? That you're disposable?"
Her thumb brushed over your cheek, feather-light. Every second, it became harder to keep yourself together.
"It's hard not to." You admitted, voice barely above a whisper.
Her brows furrowed. "Why do you think so lowly of yourself?"
You scoffed, the disbelief bubbling up before you could stop it. "Of myself?"
"Yes." She said simply.
Then, with unwavering certainty, she added, "Why would we ever do that to someone as brilliant, as capable, as extraordinary as you?" She tilted her head, watching as her words struck something deep within you. "We are the lucky ones. If anyone should be afraid of not being good enough, it's us."
Your breath caught.
"...You don't mean that." You murmured, barely holding back the sting in your eyes. You refused to cry. You would not cry.
But she only held your gaze, unwavering. "I mean it with my whole heart."
Before you could respond, Odysseus' voice cut through the quiet.
"Come here."
Both you and Penelope turned. He was still sitting on the bed, watching you carefully. He patted the empty space beside himâthe one Penelope had left behind just moments ago. His expression was unreadable, a strange mix of exasperation and something softer, something that told you he wanted you to understand.
Penelope withdrew her hand from your face but held it out to you instead, giving you the choice.
You hesitated.
Every instinct screamed at you to turn away, to run before this kindness could turn to something else. But despite your mind's protests, despite the tightness in your chest, you reached out.
Your fingers barely brushed hers before she closed the distance, wrapping her hand around yours and giving a reassuring squeeze. It was cool against your skin, soothing in a way you despisedâbecause it felt good. Because it was comforting, and you weren't sure if you deserved it.
Without a word, she led you back to the bed.
Odysseus gestured for you to sit, so you did. Then, he motioned for you to come closer, leaving space beside you for Penelope. You hesitated again, but once more, you complied.
The moment you were close enough, Odysseus moved.
He pulled you into him, arms wrapping securely around your waist. The suddenness of it made you flinch, but he didn't let go. His hold was steady, warmâunshakable in the way only Odysseus could be.
"...Why?"
It was all you could manage. You didn't understandâcouldn't understand. Why wouldn't they just let you go? Why were they holding on so tightly? Were they toying with you, messing with your head? Was it pity?
Odysseus exhaled sharply, his grip tightening ever so slightly. "Why?" He repeated, incredulous. "Because we love you." He said, voice firm, unwavering. "Both of us. And I need you to understand that." His voice was rough, almost biting, but not out of angerâout of desperation. He needed you to understand. "How many times do we have to say it before you finally hear us?"
You swallowed hard, staring at Odysseus. His mismatched eyesâone deep brown, the other an almost stormy blueâlocked onto yours, fierce with conviction. You had always found those eyes striking, but now, in this moment, they were inescapable, pinning you down with their sheer intensity.
Penelope nodded, her voice softer but just as firm. "We love you."
"You keep saying that..." Your voice wavered, cracking slightly under the weight of emotions you had no idea how to process.
"And we'll keep saying it," The king said, unwavering, "until you believe it."
And just like that, the dam broke.
The floodgates opened, and you couldn't hold it in anymore. A choked sob escaped your lips as the tears spilled freely down your cheeks, and you clung to Odysseus as though letting go would shatter you completely. He held you tighter, his grip steady, anchoring.
You felt Penelope's gentle hand rubbing slow, soothing circles up and down your back. The warmth of her touch seeped into you, grounding you, holding you together. You didn't see the way she and Odysseus exchanged a glance over your shoulder, but you could feel itâthe silent understanding between them, the unspoken promise that they weren't letting go.
Slowly, carefully, they guided you back onto the bed, their hands never leaving you.
The cool sheets met your skin as they followed you down, their warmth pressing against you from either side. Penelope cupped your cheek again, this time brushing away the damp trails your tears had left behind. As she pulled back, your body instinctively followed, turning toward her completely. She giggled softly at your unconscious need for her touch and kept her hand there, thumb gently stroking your cheek.
Behind you, Odysseus adjusted himself to the new position, his strong arms slipping around your waist and flattening against your stomach, his body molding to yours. You felt the warmth of him pressing against you, the weight of his presence grounding. His chin came to rest in the crook of your neck, his beard grazing your skinâcoarse yet strangely comforting. The ticklish sensation made you shiver, something he definitely noticed.
Your body was betraying you in the best way possible.
The walls you had so carefully built, so desperately maintained, began to crumble into dust. And yet... even with their warmth surrounding you, even with their hands anchoring you here, something inside you remained hesitant.
Your expression must have given you away, because Odysseus spoke first, his voice low, right against your ear.
"What's wrong, love?" His breath fanned against your skin, sending another set of shivers down your spine.
You swallowed, trying to steady yourself. "It just... doesn't feel right."
Penelope's brows knitted together slightly. "What do you mean?"
You forced yourself to take a deep breath, bracing for the vulnerability that would inevitably follow. "I... I don't feel like I belong here." Your voice was barely above a whisper. "You two have known and loved each other for so long. Sometimes I can't help but think that all of this was some kind of mistake. That I'm just... here for a little while, until it's time for me to go."
You broke eye contact, unable to bear the weight of Penelope's gaze any longer. It was a nervous habit you had.
"Hey." Her fingers gently caught your chin, tilting your face back toward her. "Look at me."
You didâdespite the fear curling in your stomach.
"You are not a mistake, darling." She murmured, her eyes full of something too vast, too deep, to be anything but love. "We love you so much. Every time you leave, we pray for you to come back to us."
Odysseus hummed in agreement, pressing a soft kiss against your shoulder. "And you're not temporary." He added. "You're ours. A part of our lives now. That's not changing."
"...How?" Your voice came out small, uncertain.
Penelope smiled, running a hand through your hair as she spoke. "Because you make our lives better, just by being in them. Your laugh brings us joy, your presence makes even the hardest days feel lighter."
Odysseus' hand slid lower, resting on your hip, his thumb tracing slow, comforting circles over it. Not in a way that held any ulterior motiveâjust grounding, steadying. "You've become our everything, love," He murmured. "and we won't let go."
Then, before you could think of a response, Penelope began peppering your face with light, affectionate kissesâyour cheeks, your forehead, the corner of your lips. You let out a surprised giggle, the sound bubbling up before you could stop it.
Odysseus followed suit, pressing playful kisses against the side of your neck, down to your shoulder and back again. His beard brushed against your skin, the sensation sending another fit of laughter through you as you squirmed slightly in their arms.
Penelope grinned and pressed one final kiss to the tip of your nose.
Odysseus leaned in close, his voice warm with certainty. "You are loved."
Penelope smiled. "Is that understood?"
You hesitated for only a moment before nodding, whispering, "...Yes."
And this time, you let yourself believe it.
For once, you didn't fight the warmth surrounding you. You didn't push it away.
You sank into it.

. Notes: All the energy I had left went into me trying to make this, so I'm gonna rant for a bit: Estoy tratando de encontrar mi estilo de escritura y la verdad es que me estĂĄ empezando a frustrar. En general, me gustĂł cĂłmo quedĂł este, y espero poder trasladar el estilo a ambivalence, pero esa historia ya estĂĄ mĂĄs inconsistente que la puta madre. Alguien ayĂșdeme, porfa đ no sĂ©, es como que hay dĂas en los que escribo la cosa mĂĄs magnĂfica que escribĂ en mi vida, y al dĂa siguiente escribo dos frasecitas de mierda đ
#epic the musical x reader#epic x reader#greek mythology x reader#epic! odysseus x reader#epic! penelope x reader#odypen x reader#poly! odypen x reader#odysseus x reader#penelope x reader#penelope x reader x odysseus
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