#of like. insecurity. and just. feeling useless.
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bluukive · 1 day ago
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mdni, angst, toji x reader
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It was one of those quiet evenings you loved so dearly. The rain beat down gently against the windows, the TV created a low hum in the background, and your older boyfriend was on the couch. A cold can of beer you had so kindly fetched him lay crumpled on the ground, the remainder of its contents dripping onto your newly-purchased rug. 
There was no indication that he saw. Or maybe he did. Maybe he just didn't care. 
But it was okay, right? He’s your boyfriend. Sure, he was a little grimy. He didn’t have a stable job, nor did he provide you with emotional safety and security— something a man of his age should have been able to give. You also argued often, frustrated with the way he never answered your calls. Nor did he ever communicate properly, causing bouts of insecurity and self-doubt to bubble up deep within you until you cried. Only then would Toji attempt to soothe your emotions with half-hearted apologies. 
The sex was good, at least. That’s probably why you stayed. Toji knew how to touch you right, not at all like those useless scrubs you used to hang out with. The ones he saved you from, in his words. Under his hulking body, you could forget about all of those empty nights in your bed, the constant missed calls, and especially the way he never truly looked at you. Not unless he wanted to empty a load inside of you. 
But back to the present.
You sat quietly beside him— as if you were his shadow, waiting to be spoken to and never speaking first. His legs were spread wide whereas yours were tucked neatly underneath you. 
Perhaps
 you should break the silence tonight. See where it led you. 
“Do you believe in soulmates, ‘ji?” You murmured in a manner far too sweet than what your boyfriend deserved. He didn’t even look your way when you spoke, merely grunting lowly in response. 
A shrug. 
“Yeah, I guess,” he muttered after a brief beat of silence. “Think I already met mine."
You blinked, a warm feeling beginning to form deep within you. Oh, how your heart soared. You beamed at him, leaning forward until your hand brushed against a bulky knee. He scratched at his softening stomach dismissively. 
He thought of you as his soulmate? 
You were about to respond— lips already parting, heart fluttering, until Toji interrupted in that careless voice of his. 
“She died, though.”
And your smile disappeared, before it could fully bloom like the flowers resting on his dear wife's grave. 
“Oh. Right,” you murmured, daring to let out a strained laugh. “Sorry.”
You should have known better. 
Toji chuckled, like he didn’t take you seriously. That’s when a rushed mumble of ‘I love you’ spilled from your lips, thinking that it’d fix things. What else could you do? 
He patted your knee, as if you were some sort of mutt bringing him back a stick after a round of fetch. There was no reassurance in his touch, no comfort. It felt cold.
“Don’t worry your pretty ‘lil head about it,” was all he said before getting up and heading off to grab himself another beer. 
Your face burned terribly, body prickling with embarrassment. The can on the floor caught your attention once more, your eyes fixed on the way it still soaked the rug below. Your breathing was shallow as you listened to his heavy footsteps walk further away from you.
Too far.
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highprincessofthenightcourt · 2 days ago
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You know, I have said it before and I will say it again that it’s fine to ship whoever you want. But it’s one thing to explain why the ship you prefer is better suited as endgame in your eyes. And it’s another thing to insist that it’s undeniably the one that ends up happening, especially when there isn’t even any real canon evidence to indicate that.
I understand that we’re all growing very impatient and the lack of news has left a lot of room for interpretation, but we can’t just give in to the chaos and refuse to accept what’s actually written in the books.
It’s an objective statement that Elain and Azriel have had multiple moments that do align with what would be considered romantic tension. It’s a fact that they have been written to enjoy being near each other. It’s a fact that the two of them are often mentioned to be looking at each other. It’s a fact that we are told Elain seeks him out for peace. It’s a fact that we are told Azriel looks at the gift she got him every night before sleep. It’s a fact that he has a secret that is his to tell and it is his feelings for her. It’s a fact that he believes she belongs with him and that the cauldron was wrong. It’s a fact that she would have kissed him if they hadn’t been interrupted. It’s a fact that she finds his biggest insecurity beautiful. It’s a fact that the foundation for them has been laid for a long time now.
Does this mean that everyone has to like them? NO! Does it mean that they’re more likely to happen? Yes.
It’s as simple as that. There’s no reason for there to be this much animosity, insensitivity, toxicity and hatred amongst us. The books are already written the way they are and it’s nobody’s fault that the author decided to set things up the way she did. It’s fair for people to like a ship that the story sets up, just like it’s fair for others to like ships that the story doesn’t set up. But they are two different things and it’s useless to try and deny that.
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giurochedadomani · 22 hours ago
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I need to tell you that I kind of need John teaching Bob how to properly tie a tie and said tie ending up being used shibari style later in the night, but I'm not sure if it's more appealing if John is the one tied up or Bob. I mean, it'd be fucking hilarious if Bob didn't know how to tie a tie but was perfectly capable of improvising handcuffs with a tie. But also I think that Bob is way more kinky in part bc it's a surefire way to quiet down your brain if you're neurodivergent (at least for me).
Hear me out
This all started bc I thought that John doesn't have a hair trigger temper. He's insecure about certain topics and a bit too obsessed with how people perceive him. When he feels attacked, he lashes out. When he gets angry-- well, it's not always justified but it's understable from his pov. Like, there's a whole process for him to get fully angry.
Specially, he tries to keep his temper in check around Bob. Understably, bc he's deadly afraid of ending up like Bob's dad; but also bc Bob is really genuine, and also very sweet. John is fascinated and a bit envious and would feel like shit if he made Bob look like a kicked pup.
And also, he understands very well performance anxiety, so when he tries to teach something to Bob and the other gets so much into his head that he fumbles it, John doesn't get angry. He's patient with the guy, never minds repeating instructions and demonstrating him whatever. Even if sometimes it feels like Bob isn't paying attention, and god, is the other aware that you can pretty much see his thoughts all plastered all over his face? It's kind of cute, uh, funny!
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John's approach does things to Bob. He feels really stupid for coming back and back again to ask John for some explanation but he is really patient with him, even if yelena doesn't believe him when he tells her that, and also he's honest to God the member of the team with the most 'normal' backstory, so he's able to help with uh. Civilian stuff
But also. Bob's kinda into this. A little, tiny bit bc of daddy issues. It's just-- really soothing, in a sense? He doesn't feel irredemably useless. And John looks nice, kinda, sorta, when Bob gets something right? He looks so proud of him. It's kinda addictive to be looked at like that.
But this whole thing is dumb. He knows it's dumb. Bob knows John is not one of those older guys who gave him money for his drugs in exchange for a blowjob here and there and a night in some shitty hotel. John is doing this bc he's genuinely his friend, regardless if Bob kind of feels as if he's getting cared for/seduced and as if John should expect something in return.
And then I started picturing John having to explain twice how to tie the tie bc Bob's eyes keep dropping to his lips and then giving up altogether the moment he realises and getting closer to give a hands on demonstration. Except that he sees Bob gulp and feels him freezing like he does every time John touches him and--
Was Ava right? Is Bob into him? He's definitely staring at his lips.
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omnom-obeyme · 14 hours ago
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hii !! would you mind writing headcanons on how obey me chars would react to finding out that reader self harms? Feel free to ignore this request if you arent comfortable enough to write it !! Have a lovely day or night <3
I just want to start by saying thank you so much for the request and being respectful! I personally don't feel comfortable discussing topics relating to self-harm specifically due to personal reasons, but I didn't want to ignore this ask because I know how comforting reading fics/hcs like this can be when you're struggling because I've been there. So, I hope you don't mind too much, but I kind of reframed it to be about how the characters would help a reader who's struggling in general. I'm also sorry this took so long to get out. I've been so exhausted from work recently, but I finally had the time to sit down and write today. I hope you enjoy!
The Obey Me Characters with a Struggling Reader
Pairings: main cast x reader (separate)
Warnings: discussions surrounding mental illness; mentions of anxiety, depression, insecurity, difficulty eating, and sleeplessness; romantic undertones in most parts; nothing particularly extreme
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Lucifer is an extremely supportive demon all the way around. He's also extremely observant, so chances are that he realized you were having a rough go of things long before you did.
He never explicitly brings it up, but he's always there. He never lets you struggle on your own, even when his own schedule demands too much out of him.
He'll always help with classwork, paperwork, student council assignments, and anything else he can.
Is your assigned dinner duty too stressful for you? He'll do all the prep work for you. Is starting your essay too daunting for you? Books on the subject your studying suddenly appear on your desk when you return to your bedroom. You're struggling to take care of yourself? Lucifer just happened to book you a spa day at the Devildom's most luxurious spa. Just as a reward.
He won't usually directly bring anything up. He knows how much mental struggles can wound a person's pride. He's always there for you, though. His support is more quiet than most, and he never asks for a reward. Seeing you get through the day, safe and healthy is all he could ask for.
You can't help the way your world seems to crash down around you when Lucifer kindly informs you that you've completely missed the due date for your paperwork. You try your best to keep up with all of your assignments, your student council work, and being tugged in twenty different directions by the demons, angel, and enigmatic sorcerer in your life. Missed calls, ill-timed remarks, and fumbled assignments have all been pressurizing inside you for the past few months, and you crumple down into the chair in front of Lucifer's desk. You don't know if you're more embarrassed to be crying in front of him or that you're crying at all.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid. God, I'm such an idiot," you mumble to yourself. You're absolutely certain that Lucifer is internally jeering at you and wondering how he could have picked such a useless human.
All you're met with, though, is the warm smell of his cologne and the comforting weight of his arms around you as he leans down to hug you.
"You're not an idiot, lamb. Making one error doesn't make you stupid," he soothes. His large hand rubs up and down your back slowly. He lifts you up into his arms and settles the both of you down into his large desk chair. You spend the night cradled in his arms as he helps you finish the overdue paperwork.
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Mammon is a bit of an oblivious demon. He's not stupid by any means, he's just not the most observant when it comes to stuff you try to keep hidden from him.
He won't really recognize that you're struggling unless you tell him or he exacerbates the issue. Of course, that frequently comes in the form of his teasing. Most days, you can just brush it off, but it's hard to move past when you're feeling particularly insecure.
He'll be so apologetic once he realizes he hurt your feelings or has somehow managed to inconvenience you when you're already stressed out.
Mammon is a true believer in the idea that laughter is the best medicine. He'll always be on the lookout for ways to brighten your day. He's not above making a fool of himself to get you to smile, either.
He's also fully willing to embarrass himself by getting all sappy and mushy and heaping a bunch of praise onto you. Anything for his treasure, after all.
"Nah, of course you don't get it. You're just a dumb human."
Mammon's words are meant playfully, but sometimes you forget that. The demon has a habit of exhausting your tolerance for being teased. Most days, you're able to grin and bear it, silently reminding yourself that Mammon truly does love you and doesn't mean what he's saying.
Today is not one of those days. Even Mammon can see the way your smile threatens to wobble off your face and the way a subtle shimmer pools in your waterline. His cockiness instantly slides away, and he almost looks like he's about to start crying himself.
"Treasure, no, wait--dammit!" Mammon practically launches himself at you in his haste to hold you in his arms. He tucks you against his chest and squeezes you tightly. "I didn't mean that! You're not dumb! You're the only human worthy enough to be the Great Mammon's companion! That automatically means you're, like, stupidly smart!"
It's enough to make you laugh, and relief courses through Mammon like a wave. He might not be the most tactful, but he'll always bring joy to your day.
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Honestly, the only time Levi ever promotes healthy coping mechanisms is for you. He's a mess himself and can't take his own advice, but he'll absolutely push himself out of his comfort zone if it means making his Henry feel better.
Yes, he'll let you hide in his room and wallow. He'll let you tuck yourself away in a pile of plushies if the only way you can fall asleep is with the soothing lights of his aquarium tanks brushing your skin. He'll even set up a special game of DND full of your favorite things just to get you distracted and happy.
Of course, you can't just coast or exist exclusively off distractions for the rest of your life. When you need to talk before everything inside you explodes, he'll silently turn off the lights, sit in one end of his bathtub, and invite you to sit in the other end. There's no pressure and no judgment from Levi. He gets it.
He's not always the best at advice or constructive criticism, but he's always there to listen and provide much needed distractions.
It's another one of those nights. The lights are dim, you're quiet, and Levi is trying his best to not stare at you. He knows you can feel it even when the lights are off. You're both sitting in the tub with your knees against your chest.
He suddenly feels the brush of your fingers against the tip of his tail, and he has to physically stop himself from running away at the contact. He doesn't mind it, not really. He's just not used to the idea that you don't find him gross.
"It's just...been a lot recently," you whisper, your words mixing with the bubbling coming from the fish tanks. "I just feel like I can't live up to anything anyone here expects me to be."
Levi doesn't usually talk on nights like these. He doesn't want to interrupt you, but he just can't keep his mouth shut at that.
"None of us expect you to be anything. I mean, you've already done way more for all of us than anyone else ever has. We just, like...like you a lot," Levi mumbles.
You chew on your bottom lip, and your fingers keep flicking over the end of Levi's tail. These nights always leave a hollow feeling in your chest, but you know your thoughts and feelings are safe in the dark and in the heart of your otaku with a heart of gold.
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Satan really, really gets it. He's dealt with his anger for literally all his life. He knows how overwhelming dealing with mental issues can be. He knows how hard it is to overcome your own mind.
He really wants to be your prince charming, in just about anyway he can. He's gentle, understanding, and always patient with you. He never rushes you, and he never judges you.
He loves a self-help book, unironically. He won't be condescending about it or anything. All of his recommendations are always from a place of "I've tried this, and it really helped me. I hope it can help you in some way, too."
He'll help pick up any slack, too. He's always available to help with schoolwork, studying, or exam prep. He'll go slow with you and make sure you understand what you're learning, too. And on the days when you really need it? Yeah, he'll slip you a copy of his homework answers, but only for you.
He's also always there to sweep you off your feet. He'll take you on walks in the most gorgeous forest you've ever seen, you'll visit the most beautiful lakes or mountains--just anywhere Satan thinks you'll find beautiful. He loves seeing you eyes light up when it's just the two of you.
The words on the pages in front of you have been blurring together into incomprehensible nonsense for the past five pages. You keep trying to push through, but you can't make heads or tails of anything, especially since you could barely understand the base concept this chapter is building on anyway.
Tears prick your eyes, and your head droops forward. Satan, as perceptive as ever, is quick to propose a break.
"We've been at it for a while, yeah? Let's relax for a bit," he murmurs. His voice is soothing to your frayed nerves, but his fingers work the real magic as he begins rubbing your scalp. "Do you need anything? Water? A snack? A blanket?"
You respond with a simple shake of your head, content in the moment. His fingers withdraw after a while, and he sits down next to you.
"Now...what exactly are you having trouble with?"
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Asmo feels insecure more often than he'd ever admit to himself. He's more of a "fake it til you make it" kind of demon, though, so you'll rarely ever know he's down. It's a bit weird, but it really does work for him.
He sees the beauty in most things, and he'll help you see it, too. Especially when it comes to yourself. You've completely bewitched the Avatar of Lust! Of course you're absolutely gorgeous, and he won't stop adoring you until you see yourself the way he does.
Do I even need to say that he's huge on self-care days? He'll literally lock the both of you up in his bedroom and bathroom, and you'll spend the day doing each other's nails, practicing makeup, doing face masks, doing affirmations, meditating, and trying out different herbal tea blends.
He's incredibly loving, and seeing you hurt hurts him. He's always going to go out of his way to lift you up and make sure you shine just as much as he does.
Sometimes, it's hard not to compare yourself to Asmo. He's just so blindingly beautiful, not to mention how stunning all the demons that surround him are. It's hard not to feel inadequate. You're just a normal human, after all. Some of these succubi were literally crafted just to be gorgeous.
Asmo doesn't see it like that, though. No, you have one of the most gorgeous essences he's ever seen. It goes so much deeper than your appearance, but, even then, it radiates out of your skin like sunlight to Asmo. No one has ever made him feel as seen, loved, or appreciated as you do, and he longs to return that feeling to you.
One too many dejected glances in his direction in public led to Asmo throwing a spa day for the two of you. The rest of his brothers were locked out of his room and banned for the day. This is all for you.
"I got you a new hair oil to try since you were complaining about it being too frizzy the other day, hon! It's lightweight but still nourishing, so it should be just the thing," Asmo explains as he runs his fingers through your hair. He lets out a quiet sigh. "I just love your hair. It's so perfect on you."
Asmo leans forward and rests his chin on your shoulder, lightly pressing his cheek to yours.
"Look at us! Aww...we're so adorable together! It should be criminal."
A smile tugs at your lips, and you can't fight the laugh that bubbles past your lips.
"Yeah, we are, Asmo."
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Beel's another one who's more of a silent supporter. He wants nothing more than for you to feel safe and secure. He's not the most eloquent or expressive demon, but there's never any doubt about how he feels around you and how he wants you to feel.
If you're having a hard time eating, he'll help pick out recipes that sound appealing. He'll even make it for you himself! This is the one time he'd be able to restrain himself from eating all the ingredients. He'd also be super helpful on finding easy, nutritious, and yummy snacks to make if you're struggling with effort. He's also not above influencing you a little to make you more hungry.
He's also someone you can count on to get you moving. Whether it's just stretching, a walk, or a genuine workout, Beel will make sure you get some kind of activity in. He really does believe that getting your blood flowing is a great way to burn off negative feelings and to work up a bit of hunger.
He'll drop everything he's doing just to hold you, too. He's used to carrying Belphie everywhere, and he's happy to do that for you, too. Anything you need from him, he'd happily give you.
Beel's large hand holds yours loosely as you take a walk downtown. He finally managed to coax you out of your room, and he's practically been begging to get you to go to Hell's Kitchen with him. And, really, how could you ever deny him when he turns on his unintentional puppy eyes?
Of course, Beel has a big smile on his face. He's happy to see you out and about again. You haven't told him exactly what's been going on in your head, but he knows something's been weighing on you recently. He doesn't try to pry the information from you, nor is he pressuring you into talking to him. He's a gentle giant, after all.
"I'm really happy you're here with me, MC. I missed eating with you," Beel says once you're finally seated at the restaurant.
Something in your chest clenches, and you reach out to take both of Beel's hands.
"I'm glad I'm here with you, too, Beel."
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Well, I think we all know Belphie's solution to most things. He's going to get you to try and sleep it off. Of course, he'll also be all snuggled into your side as he coaxes you to sleep.
Yes, he's a brat, but he'll be surprisingly tender with you if you show him how vulnerable you're feeling. He'll hold you tighter than usual, give you the best dreams ever, and he'll even let you use his special pillow.
He'll be particularly clingy if you tell him you haven't been sleeping well. That just won't do at all. Don't worry, though. Belphie can put you fast asleep in no time at all.
Of course, he'll also drag you down the planetarium to talk. He'll set up a soft blanket and then you'll just lie side by side as he slowly coaxes what's been going on with you out of your head.
He's a really good listener, despite the sleepiness. He'll always listen to whatever it is that you have to say. He knows what it's like to have his voice ignored, and he doesn't want the same for you.
When a knock at the attic door wakes Belphegor up, he's about ready to start swinging indiscriminately. That is until he sees you. You look pretty pathetic, honestly. You're wearing your pajamas, and you've got a throw blanket in your hand that's trailing behind you sadly like you're some kind of cartoon kid.
Belphie tilts his head to the side and looks at you expectantly.
"I can't sleep," you mutter, slightly embarrassed.
"Typical human. Come here," Belphie yawns as he pats the space next to him.
You slowly pad over to him and curl up against his side. He slips his pillow under your head, and his tail as well as one of his arms wraps around you. You're instantly soothed, and you can already feel sleep creeping in on the edges of your consciousness.
"G'night, Belph," you whisper as your eyes slip shut.
"Goodnight," Belphie whispers back, content to fight off bad dreams for the rest of the night.
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Honestly, Diavolo won't really get it until you explain it to him fully. He's been sad before, and he's absolutely experienced negative emotions, but chronic anxiety? Yeah, he doesn't really have anything to be anxious about. There are some perks to being the strongest, wealthiest being in the entire Devildom. He's also not the kind of person to get down very often, so you do have to sit him down and explain your experiences and your point of view to him.
After that, he'll be extremely conscientious of your feelings. The last thing he ever wants to do is hurt you or add to your stress. The second he hears about teachers giving you too much work or demons making negative comments toward you, he's on the case. He's very protective of his exchange students! That's his official excuse anyway
Diavolo's honestly like a walking ray of sunshine most of the time, and it's hard not to feel energized in his presence. He's silly, loving, and pretty joyful overall, not to mention his positivity. It's easy to feel more relaxed and forget about your troubles in his presence.
Regardless, he'd do anything in his power for you. He'd build you your own luxury retreat in a cozy spot in the Devildom just for you to escape to. He's got unlimited resources, and he'll put them to use for you! Just say the word.
"I'm sorry, Dia, I just--I couldn't stay in there any longer. They all just stare at me, and I can't take it. It's--" Diavolo gently interrupts your rambling by placing a warm hand on your shoulder.
"It's no trouble at all," he says warmly. "In truth, I'd much rather spend the night exclusively with you. You make much better company than the nobles..."
A bit of warmth blooms in your chest, and you duck your head.
"I don't think that's a very hard standard to beat."
Diavolo's laughter warms you further, and he rubs your arm tenderly.
"No, dear. No, it's not. I'm certain Lucifer will be able to cover for me. Now, why don't we get into something more comfortable and sit by the fire, hmm?"
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Barbatos is a very pragmatic individual. He very rarely feels anxious due to the fact that he kinda knows every possible future. That being said, he's still extremely sympathetic toward your feelings because he knows how things can go wrong, even if they won't actually go wrong.
He'll give you reassurance and comfort, but he won't let you wallow. He has too much respect for you to let you spiral. He's like a lifeguard, always keeping your head above water in that sense.
He'll craft a special magical blend of tea just for you to soothe you. Drinking it puts you at ease and gives you an almost serene feeling.
He's someone who'll go mother hen mode on you. It can feel a bit overwhelming having someone always checking in on you, but he just wants to make sure that you're taking care of yourself.
He won't always be able to be there for you physically, but he'll leave little good luck charms and positive energy attractors as little gifts. Of course, you won't know their true nature, but Barbatos prefers it that way.
I was just thinking of you, MC. Are you perhaps free tomorrow? I'd like you to come to the castle to sample the potential dessert menu for Lord Diavolo's party.
You stare down at your DDD as the text from Barbatos rolls in. The light from your screen is the only light available in your dark bedroom, and you squint. You can't honestly remember the last time you left the House of Lamentation, despite requests from the brothers for your company.
You sigh. Barbatos is never bad company...
Yeah, I can come by tomorrow. Is 1:00 good?
Of course. I will await your arrival with baited breath.
Barbatos sets his DDD down on the kitchen counter. Lord Diavolo's party isn't happening for another two months, but you don't need to know that. He'd gladly spend the rest of his day baking if it meant getting you back by his side.
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Solomon might seem like he might not be the best person to talk to, but he's still a human. He may not worry about dying anymore, but his nervous system is still wired just the same as yours is. He understands the way your emotions work better than anyone else in the cast, really, since he's the only one who can directly understand the bodily experiences associated with them.
He can't cook for you, but he's always willing to get some sweet treats and have a chill day doing nothing.
On the flip side, he's also down to drag you out of the house to force you to get some external stimulation. He's very big on getting out and touching grass. He'll be especially keen on private trips up to the human world, so you can feel the actual sun on your skin and touch flowers without worrying about them giving you a rash.
He's more than willing to be your cheerleader on the sidelines. He'll always be your number one believer. As a mentor, a friend, or a partner, he's always got your back.
Your eyes watch the way Solomon's deft fingers move while crafting a spell. It's a relatively simple spell--you're just changing the shape of a wine glass to a champagne flute--but you can't seem to get it down for some reason. This is the tenth time that Solomon's demonstrated the spell, but your fingers still fumble on the third movement. Instead of changing shape, the glass in front of you shatters.
You let out a frustrated noise and collapse back onto the chair you're sitting in.
"It's pointless. I'm useless. I'll never be able to do it."
Solomon tuts, and he suddenly appears behind you. His snowy hair blocks out the candlelight, and he's now the only thing you can focus on.
"Don't say never, MC. It's not a good look on you. The reason you're struggling so much is due to the fact that you have too much raw magical energy in you. It just wants to flow out all at once. We just have to get that under control, and then you'll be just as good as me. Probably better. Maybe," he winks at you.
"But, still...I think that's enough for tonight. Would you like some cupcakes?"
You shoot him a slightly horrified look.
"No, I didn't make them," he sighs. "Simeon made too many."
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Simeon would be so gentle with you, and it's not even in a condescending way. He's just so incredibly sweet, and he'd be so worried about you once you tell him you've been having a hard time.
Of course, he's an angel, and I personally HC that angels have an innate ability to be soothing toward humans without even doing anything. You can't help but mellow out a bit once you're around Simeon.
He's so easy to talk to. He's completely understanding and never interrupts you. He gives great advice, too. He's always able to help you find a path forward.
He's also more than willing to help you take care of yourself. He'll cook for you, make sure you're eating, make sure you're drinking water, he'll check in with you before bed, and he'll also make sure to reach out if he knows you have any difficult assignments coming up. He's a very warm, supportive presence all-around, and he'll always be there for you.
Simeon's smiling at you, and it's like the gates of Heaven are opening just for you. A sense of calm soothes the anxiety in your chest, and you let out a short huff.
"It's nothing that anyone's done, really, I just can't believe that everyone here likes me enough to actually want to be my friend. It's...I dunno. It's weird."
Simeon's hand settles over yours gently, and he pats your hand. You came over to Purgatory Hall for a much needed break from the chaotic House of Lamentation. It's not like you'd ever turn down the chance to eat Simeon's food, anyway.
"Oh, dear...you don't realize how lovable you are do, you?" Simeon murmurs.
Heat crawls up the sides of your neck and you stammer out a weak, "Wh--I don't...uh..."
Simeon just shakes his head gracefully, though the fond look in his blue eyes never dissipates.
"You are the most amazing human I have ever met, dear. Never forget that."
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do not use my headers or repost my work without my permission. art and characters belong to the obey me franchise and are not my original works.
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hibou088 · 2 hours ago
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Little answer because I thought that the above comment was genuinely interesting and worth responding to because it did expose lots of things that the blackpill community (myself included) is guilty of. I am answering only because I want to clarify my perspective, not because I want to stir up some drama. Also, I am not sure if OP was directing this comment towards me in particular but it does not matter, I will answer it anyways :
1.'The spirituality thing is being used to assert a superiority complex ("I've overcome my lusts, therefore I'm better than those whores that don't"). These people haven't overcome their vices; they just transmuted their repression into anger and hatred'. I seriously believe that Spirituality is the end-goal. As I said in the original post, no philosophy will ever satisfy you and everybody will end up being disappointed by their own movement (whether because of its members or because of the shifting beliefs). The example I had in mind were obviously liberal feminism, radical feminism and blackpill feminism. I grew disillusioned with feminism because I first grew disillusioned with women. I sincerely believe that feminism is utterly useless and is mostly a psyop to convince sane women that they are oppressed, when that is not true. It is a movement that mostly benefits OSA women, that is the reason why lesbians and celibate females will always be on the backburner of this movement. About the 'superiority complex', if I am being honest with myself, I sometimes am guilty of it and so are lots of self-identified 'blackpilled' women. And while I am not defending such complex, it is quite difficult not to feel superior to the women who constantly objectify themselves and see themselves as nothing but sex-dolls. Having dignity and self-respect does make you a better person than the ones who do not. That is why some of my posts are berating the collective of women : it is hard not to feel frustrated and angry when everytime you see a female entertainer, she is half-naked, when everytime you talk to a random woman, she centers her whole universe around men. But I DO agree with the last sentence : lots of 'blackpilled' feminists hold very controversial views I simply do not agree with and that was the reason why I made that original post in the first place. Tons of them are indeed not enlightened and are simply projecting their own insecurities and inferiority complex into the collective of women and rationalizing it by refering to a warped perception of biology every 5 seconds. Once again, one could say I am 'blackpilled' because I fully acknowledge the fact that most women are only loyal to men and that they do not value freedom nor autonomy. Having said that, I also do not think that this behaviour is only explained by 'biology' since I think that our environement is also to blame but women are simply too lazy to grow out of their delulu views about men, romance, motherhood and life in general.
2. 'The whole thing is cringe and reeks of an extreme version of "not like other girls" especially with the allusions to Christianity and thinking that the male saints would vouch for them? If you're a masculine-leaning lesbian, the saints would be saying you have the spirit of Leviathan (or Lilith if you're feminine).' Once again, if you are not partaking in the same actions the majority partakes in, what does that make you ? It does make you different from others. Not being interested in dating males or having kids is ENOUGH to set a woman apart from 90% of the female population. It is not a contest when we say we are different, it is simply a fact. I have absolutely nothing in common with a male-centered woman / pickme. We are on a whole different level of conciousness. About the Saints, I do love their writings and there is nothing wrong with it. The early Saints or Mystics were very enlightened and had thought-provoking takes on tons of subjects. They simply recommanded living a celibate lifestyle and fasting and praised anyone who engaged in that kind of life. Them being males or females makes absolutely no difference. Saints corresponded with each other and praised each other for the honorable way they lived their life, they supported each other. Also, unless you have a proof of what you are asserting (that being 'masculine-leaning' would have you being accused by the Saints of being possessed), this statement is pointless. Saints more often criticized the most feminine women, the ones who paraded around town wearing expensive clothing and were boastful, while they praised the women who had nothing to do with that sooo ??? Celibate women who devoted themselves to God, no matter their physical appearance, were lauded while married women were lowkey frowned upon.
3. 'When you get to a certain point in spiritual development, you are supposed to have a measure humility and be able to meet others where they are at their own level - not denigrate them because they lack the frame of reference that you have to know the things you know. And ironically, these women exhibit the same catty behavior that they attribute to the normie women who caused their disillusionment with feminism in the first place.' It is the most interesting and truest part of the comment. I may have being guilty of not being humble enough because I did take pride in not following the societal blueprint we are 'supposed' to follow. But, one has to admit that it is quite infuriating seeing grown women with tons of life experiences behaving like idiots and then complaining about the consequences of their very own actions. Women in their 30s pulling the 'nobody told me motherhood was going to be hard' card for example is quite comical and embarassing for obvious reasons. It is not 'lacking the frame of reference', it is simply being reckless and stupid. Women are purposefully staying ignorant. Saying that women in general are delusional and are not making the best choices for themselves or the world is not being condescending, it is simply pointing out the obvious. Saying that women are responsible for their own actions is not denigrating them. Saying that sex is degrading is not a proof of feeling superior to anybody. It is simply stating a fact.
On Blackpill feminism and its limits
I agree with the foundational principle of blackpill feminism : that the world is sex-addicted and that nobody is a victim, especially women. I also agree with the fact that most women have no self-preservation instincts nor integrity since they lust after men and that penis is the only thing worth protecting for lots of them.
Having said that, I think that, just like any other philosophies, blackpill feminism will end up reaching a dead-end. Lots of women started off as neutral, then considered themselves libfems but unsurprisingly got disappointed by the ideology so they turned to radical feminism, only to once again reach a dead-end, which 'radicalized' them and made them go 'blackpilled'. The world and its philosophies are like that : they will always disappoint you.
That is why, after being disappointed so many times, lots of women end up becoming very 'bitter' and angry at women. I do not criticize that behavior as I am frustrated and embarrassed on a daily basis when I take a look at the average woman's choices. Yet, it only lasts for a couple of minutes. Why ? Because I simply do not care. That is the reason why I made the 'Having a savior complex' post : to help the people who needed to hear that you do not have to care about others, especially women's self-imposed oppression !
Every movement or philosophy should be a stepping stone to Spirituality. Period. The world is deceiving and no matter what you identify as, the Truth will never be found unless you go within and start looking for answers. That is the reason why even blackpill feminism is limited : its adepts usually go around in circles repeating the same thing. And while lots of its self identified members are very lucid about males and females' behaviours, which is very refreshing and pleasing in a world that seeks to hide the truth, some of them have fallen into the trap of becoming very 'extreme' if I can call it like that. I have seen some posts saying that women are biologically 'inferior' to males for instance, and it kind of baffled me. It is the vicious circle in which some blackpilled women fall into : rightfully criticizing males then rightfully criticizing females, only to end up saying 'actually men are right and women are biologically inferior lol'. I do not agree with this reasoning.
Ironically, my reasoning incorporates both 'feminist' logic (if we can call it like that) and 'blackpilled' logic. I believe that biology oppresses females (and males for that matter) but that in the females' case, biology could also be a huge product of our environment. Obviously, I am not saying this to excuse females' behaviours as I have already made two posts explaining that females are NOT victims and should NOT use the 'socialization' excuse to justify their dumb choices. However, I think that socialization does shape biology in a huge way and that it is up to everybody to identify the lies we have been fed since forever and transcend our socially imposed limitations. Just like how craving extreme sugary shit like candies is not inherent to us and that ads try to make us crave these candies.
I once saw an anti-sex post claiming that 'Even though sexual desire is biological, it has still been biologically manufactured into the human race'. And I agree with that. The link between hypersexuality in teenagers and our hypersexual media is obvious for instance.
That is the reason why, even though there are lots of brilliants minds that came out of the 'blackpill feminism' movement, I believe that this philosophy should direct us towards Spirituality, which is the Supreme and ONLY way to live your Truth. It is the final destination of our lives.
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roguelioness · 4 months ago
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mvost · 22 days ago
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people actually following this blog is lowkey suprising but also half of my art is here cuz I'm a prick that thinks everyone hates them and will doxx them and their family if they post sketches on main. should've expected that
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drivemysoul · 5 months ago
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it just hit me all at once how fucking low my self esteem is after my last relationship
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hiveswap · 1 year ago
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Im going to fucking throw up
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haljathefangirlcat · 2 months ago
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Been going through the comments and links on Reddit to try and understand the situation better, turns out there's a new post with updated info here.
AO3 has been scraped, once again.
As of the time of this post, AO3 has been scraped by yet another shady individual looking to make a quick buck off the backs of hardworking hobby writers. This Reddit post here has all the details and the most current information. In short, if your fic URL ends in a number between 1 and 63,200,000 (inclusive), AND is not archive locked, your fic has been scraped and added to this database.
I have been trying to hold off on archive locking my fics for as long as possible, and I've managed to get by unscathed up to now. Unfortunately, my luck has run out and I am archive locking all of my current and future stories. I'm sorry to my lovelies who read and comment without an account; I love you all. But I have to do what is best for me and my work. Thank you for your understanding.
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saatorus · 3 months ago
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she won't go away— a sukuna fic
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art creds to to_0fu (twitter/x)
pairing — college sukuna! x reader
synopsis — of all the people in your chemistry course, you get stuck with ryomen sukuna—the most insufferable, arrogant asshole on campus. he barely does any work, runs his mouth like it’s a sport, and somehow manages to make your life even more exhausting than it already is. if this project doesn’t kill you, he just might.
wc — 26k (ONLY 1K ABOVE THE EXPECTED WC YAAAY)
warnings — explicit sexual content (unprotected sex), sukuna is quite mean in the beginning, possibly incorrect depiction of frat culture (spare me i am not american), lots of sexual jokes, brief tiny smidge of angst, reader is a bad bitch, mentions of feeling insecure, choso and toji are gym himbos.
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“Please, anyone but him, professor—” You try begging, hands gripping the edge of the desk like your life depends on it. You know it’s useless, but desperation makes a fool out of you.
Professor Shimizu sighs, sympathy flashing across her face, but it’s gone in an instant. She adjusts her glasses, pushing them up her nose, and gives you a rueful smile. “I understand your concerns,” she says, “and if it were up to me, I’d happily rearrange the groups, but the pairings were assigned by the department. Something about fostering academic cooperation.” She shakes her head like she, too, thinks it’s bullshit. “My hands are tied.”
Your stomach sinks. Fostering academic cooperation? With him? You’d have better luck reasoning with a brick wall—one that could talk back and insult you for fun. You turn back toward the class, eyes darting between the clusters of students already deep in discussion. Some of them look at you with poorly concealed amusement, others with pity. And then there’s him, sitting by the window, looking positively bored like this whole situation is an inconvenience. 
Ryomen Sukuna.
The campus heartthrob. The golden boy of the mechanical engineering department. A nightmare wrapped in a six-foot-something frame of smugness and muscle. A nightmare that you unfortunately have to share your CHEM10002 course with (why he’d picked a premed course as an elective was beyond you) You hate him. And not in the petty ugh, he’s annoying kind of way. It’s deeper than that. He’s insufferable. Arrogant. Egotistical. The type of guy who always has a girl in his bed but never the same one twice. He walks around campus like he owns the place, flashing that sharp grin, that lazy confidence that makes people—girls, especially—fawn over him despite his reputation. Cocky, rude, impossible to work with.
And now you’re stuck with him. Oh, hell no. Your body stiffens. No way. No fucking way. Like hell you’re going to spend the next few weeks working with him. You whip your head back to Professor Shimizu, grasping at anything—anything—to get out of this. “What if I did extra credit? A research paper? A presentation? Anything,” you plead, voice tight. “I’ll take a lower grade. Dock my participation. I don’t care—just not him.”
She sighs, but it’s not exasperated, just
 tired. “I appreciate your enthusiasm,” she says, like you’re asking for more work because you love learning instead of trying to escape an actual nightmare. “But, again, I can’t change the pairings. And as much as I’d love to give you an alternative assignment, the department is very strict on this. It’s meant to ‘challenge students to collaborate beyond personal preference.’” She air-quotes it, which means she definitely thinks it’s bullshit. You slump, stomach twisting with something bitter. Collaboration? With Sukuna? The only thing he collaborates on is making everyone’s life harder.
You grit your teeth, hard. He’s lounging now, one hand shoved in his pocket, the other lazily spinning a pen between his fingers while he lazily eyes you from where he’s manspreading in his seat. He doesn’t even look like he’s trying, and that’s what pisses you off the most—he never tries. Not in class, not with people, not with anything. Everything just seems to work out for him anyway.
You hate that you know that. You really hate that you know that. But you’ve known him long enough. Long enough to remember—
Freshman Year
It was something small. Stupid, even. But you still remember the heat of humiliation crawling up your neck, the way people laughed under their breath, how he barely even looked at you afterward, like it hadn’t mattered.  You had been in a required first-year seminar, and the professor called on you to answer a question. It wasn’t hard, but the nerves got the best of you—you stumbled over your words, your voice wavered.
And then you heard it. A tsk, followed by a lazy, mocking lilt:
“Damn. Spit it out, dumbass.”
Heat flushed through you, the classroom suddenly too bright, too small. A few people chuckled—some outright laughed. You had swallowed thickly, willing yourself to focus, to get through the answer. When class ended, you stormed out, ignoring the lingering stares, the murmured that was brutal from some guy behind you. But Sukuna? He didn’t even glance your way. Because to him, it wasn’t anything. It wasn’t worth a second thought. And now, here you are, stuck working with the one person who had made you feel like an idiot before you even had the chance to prove yourself. 
You hadn’t even thought about it that much at the time—not really. But later, when you were alone, it festered. You were just a freshman. Barely out of high school, still figuring things out, still nervous about speaking up in a room full of people smarter, older, better than you. It wasn’t even like you got the answer wrong—you had just hesitated. That was all it took. And it was stupid, so stupid, but after that day, you started thinking twice before speaking in class. Before raising your hand. Before answering anything unless you were absolutely sure you wouldn’t trip over your words. And god, you hate that it got to you. It’s not like it was some big, scarring moment. It was one second of his life. A second he probably doesn’t even remember.
But it was yours. It wasn’t just that one time. There was another. Worse, somehow, because this time, he hadn’t even been speaking to you—just about you. It was late freshman year, after you’d spent the whole semester training yourself not to stutter, not to hesitate, not to embarrass yourself again. You were doing better. At least, you thought you were. Until one afternoon, outside the student center, when you walked past Sukuna and his group of friends—Toji, Choso, Mahito, and a couple of others, all leaned back on the benches like they owned the place.
You weren’t eavesdropping. You didn’t mean to hear it. But then—
“—was struggling so bad, I thought she was gonna pass out.”
A few chuckles. A low whistle from Toji. 
“Like, just say it, dumbass,” Sukuna scoffed, sharp, mocking. “Or at least commit. That shit was painful to listen to.”
Your stomach dropped. You don’t know who they were talking about. Maybe some other poor freshman who had choked on their words mid-discussion. Maybe a random classmate. Maybe—
Your face burned. You forced yourself to keep walking, head down, pretending like it wasn’t about you, like you weren’t suddenly back in that seminar with his voice in your ears and everyone’s quiet snickers pressing into your skin. He didn’t even look at you as you passed. Of course, he didn’t. He probably didn’t even remember it was the same person. And now, three years later, you have to sit across from Ryomen Sukuna, the campus asshole, the man who probably hasn’t stuttered a day in his goddamn life, and pretend you don’t want to walk out of this classroom and never come back.  You exhale sharply, pressing your fingers into your temples.
This is fine. You’ve dealt with annoying people before. You’ve had to work with partners who contributed nothing, who slacked off, who treated group projects like free rides. Sukuna is just another roadblock—one with a stupid face and a worse attitude.
And, honestly? It’s not even about the stuttering thing anymore. That was years ago, and you’d be damned if you let some insignificant moment from freshman year shake you now. Just because he made you insecure about one thing doesn’t mean you’re meek. You’ve worked too hard to let this get to you. So, with all the grace you can muster, you pull out the chair across from him, stiffly sit down, and say, “Hi, I’m—”
Sukuna doesn’t even look at you. Doesn’t acknowledge you. Doesn’t even pretend to try. Instead, he leans back in his chair, stretching his arms behind his head, and immediately starts talking to Toji, who’s standing nearby.
“So, dinner at that steak place tonight?”
“Yeah,” Toji mutters, tapping at his phone. “Gonna see if they’ve got space.”
Sukuna scoffs. “They always have space.”
“No, dumbass, last time we went, they were booked.”
“They let us in last time,” Sukuna corrects, smirking, and that smugness makes your eye twitch. Are you being fucking ignored? You glance between them, incredulous, and then say, “I’m literally talking to you.”
That finally gets his attention. Slowly, like you’re the inconvenience here, Sukuna turns his head toward you. His gaze flicks over you, slow, unimpressed, like he’s barely registering you exist. You square your shoulders. “This project is quite hefty. We need to split up the research so we’re not scrambling at the last minute.”
He stares at you for a moment, blank, and then—
He rolls his eyes.
“Jesus,” he mutters, leaning forward, elbows on the table. “You’re one of those, huh?”
You frown. “Excuse me?”
“The tryhard type. Gets assigned a little homework and suddenly thinks they’re running a Fortune 500 company.” He tilts his head, smirking. “Relax, woman. It’s just a project.”
Woman. Your jaw clenches so hard it hurts. 
“That ‘little homework’ is forty five percent of our grade,” you bite out.
“Don’t give a fuck,” he grunts, sounding bored.
You inhale deeply. “So, I was thinking—”
But he groans, dragging a tattooed hand down his face. “Are we seriously doing this now?”
“Yes, we’re seriously doing this now,” you snap. He exhales sharply through his nose, glaring. “God, you’re fucking annoying.”
You’re not sure whether you should be offended or hurt. On one hand, obviously as a normal human being, being spoken to like this from a person you’re quite literally talking to for the first time is bound to hurt your feelings. On the other hand, this guy’s dickhead personality is kind of well known through your university. Your grip on your pen tightens, but you keep your voice even.
 “I’m annoying because I want to pass?”
”You’re annoying because you talk way too fuckin’ much.”
 That stings more than you’d like to admit. You grit your teeth, ignoring the way your stomach tightens, and push forward anyway. “If we divide the research today, we won’t have to meet up as often,” you say, firmly. “I assume you’ll want to do as little work as possible, so let’s just—”
“Holy shit.” Sukuna pushes his chair back with a loud scrape, fixing you with an exasperated look. “Do you ever shut up?” You blink, stunned. Toji snickers.
“Oh, come on,” Sukuna scoffs, throwing up a hand. “You’re gonna sit there all wide-eyed like I just kicked your fuckin’ puppy? You started it.” Your fingers twitch against the table. “Started what?” you ask, voice dangerously calm. “This whole thing—acting like I’m some bum ass delinquent who needs a babysitter.” His eyes narrow. “If you wanna play boss, go find some other loser to be a bitch to.”
Your patience snaps. “Or you could just not be a lazy asshole. Do you lack brain cells? You’ve seriously told me to shut up like 5 times in the span of about ten minutes. Do you have a problem where you can’t focus?” The air between you shifts.
Sukuna’s jaw tics. His expression darkens, something sharp flashing through his eyes, but then his lips pull into something crueler than a smirk—something with edges, something dangerous.
“You think I’m lazy? Got somethin’ wrong with me because I can’t take your nerdy bitching?” he asks, voice low. You hesitate, but only for a second. “Glad you have the ability to comprehend what I said.” That makes him grin. “And you think I’m an asshole?”
“Yes.”
He hums, tilting his head. Then he leans forward, just slightly, elbows resting on the table. His voice drops into something smug, mocking—
“Then why the fuck are you still talking to me?”
Your blood boils.
What the fuck is his problem?
You lean forward too, matching him, refusing to shrink under his gaze. “Because I have to, dumbass,” you snap. “I tried to change my group. I begged. I offered to do extra credit. I would have written a whole goddamn thesis if it meant not sitting across from you—but guess what?” You gesture sharply between you. “I’m stuck with you.”
Sukuna raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Tragic.”
You let out a frustrated breath, gripping the edge of the table so hard your knuckles turn white. “So, as much as I’d love to pretend you don’t exist—”
“Then do it,” he interrupts, tone dry.
You blink. “What?”
“If you wanna pretend I don’t exist, go ahead,” he drawls, leaning back lazily. “Do the whole project yourself. You’ll probably enjoy it, since you’re clearly getting off on playing group leader.”
“Oh, my god.” You clench your fists, barely restraining yourself. “Why are you such a dickhead? Parents not teach you basic respect?”
“Because you don’t shut the fuck up,” he snaps, finally looking genuinely irritated.
Your lips part, incredulous. “I’m literally just trying to do the fucking project? Like any normal human being?”
“No, you’re trying to control shit,” Sukuna says flatly. “Like this is some big deal—like I haven’t passed a million of these useless classes already.”
You stare at him. “You think this is useless?”
He smirks. “Yeah.”
Oh, you hate him.
“Some of us actually give a shit about our grades, Sukuna.”
“You know my name? Cute.” You inhale sharply through your nose, trying to stay calm, trying not to launch your textbook at his stupid, perfect face. “I don’t care how many classes you’ve passed,” you say, voice taut. “You’re doing this one with me. I care about this project. And if I have to suffer through working with you, you can at least pretend to give a shit.” He tilts his head, mockingly thoughtful. “Mm. No.”
You exhale slowly, trying—failing—to stop your hands from curling into fists.
“I swear to god—”
“What, huh?” he cuts in, voice dripping with condescension. “You gonna whine to the professor again?” He lets out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “Pathetic.”
Your jaw tightens. He grins, like he’s won something. Like he’s getting exactly what he wants—like this is a game to him, something to toy with, something to waste his time on. And you refuse to let him win. So, you straighten your spine, lift your chin, and meet his gaze without flinching. “Fine,” you say, voice steely. “If you want to half-ass this, be my guest. Just don’t expect me to pick up your slack.”
Sukuna watches you, amused, as if he’s waiting for you to crack. When you don’t, he smirks.
“We’ll see.”
You inhale sharply, forcing yourself to keep your voice level.
“Well, unfortunately for you,” you say stiffly, “you actually have to do your share.”
Sukuna snorts. “Says who?”
“The professor.” You cross your arms. “Since apparently, students have been slacking on group projects, we have to submit proof of collaboration—meeting logs, progress updates, actual proof that we’re working together.” His expression darkens. You fight the urge to smirk. Suffer.
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” he mutters.
“Nope.” You press your lips together, trying to hold back your pure satisfaction. “So, congratulations, Sukuna. You have to meet up with me at least once a week.” He exhales sharply through his nose, glaring at you like you’re personally ruining his life. “You’re telling me I have to sit through this shit every week?”
“Yep.”
“You specifically?”
“Yep.”
Sukuna groans, dragging a hand through the unruly pink strands of his hair. Then, just as you’re about to remind him that this is literally his problem for being a shit student, he lifts his head—eyes raking over you in a slow, lazy once-over. And then, he smirks. You freeze.
“What?” you snap, immediately on edge.
His smirk widens.
“Nah, I was just thinking,” he drawls, tipping his head back against his chair. “If you were hotter, this would be way less painful.”
Your stomach drops. The words hit you like a slap, and for a second, all you can do is sit there, stunned, completely caught off guard by how casual—how easy—it is for him to say something like that. Like it’s just true. Like it’s a fact. Your fingers dig into your sleeve. And the worst part? It’s not even the insult itself that stings—it’s the sheer, blatant dismissal. The fact that he looks at you and immediately decides you’re not worth even pretending to be interested in. As if you were hoping for his attention. As if you were seeking his approval. 
“Yeah?” you say, voice flat, emotionless. “Well, if you were smarter, I wouldn’t have to carry your useless ass through this class.” His grin falters, just barely, but you see it—and for once, it’s your turn to smirk. You lean forward, matching his posture, tilting your head mockingly.
“Guess we’re both disappointed, huh?” 
For a moment, Sukuna just stares at you. And you don’t miss the way his jaw tightens, how his fingers twitch against the table like he’s fighting the urge to rip you apart. Good. Then—he exhales sharply through his nose, tipping his chair back slightly, acting unfazed even though you saw the flicker of irritation in his eyes. “Damn,” he muses, voice slow, dragging. “Didn’t know you had a mouth on you.”
“Yeah?” You tilt your head. “Didn’t know you gave a shit.”
Sukuna scoffs. “I don’t.”
“Then shut the fuck up and do your assigned work.”
He lets out a low, mean laugh, running a hand through his hair. “You’re lucky I’m feeling generous today.”
“Generous?” You nearly choke. “You’ve been nothing but a dick since the moment I sat down.”
He shrugs, unbothered. “Could be worse.”
You want to strangle him. Instead, you inhale sharply through your nose, pressing your palms flat against the table before forcing yourself to stay on track. “Whatever,” you say, shaking your head. “Here’s the deal: we have to meet at least once a week. I don’t care where. I don’t care when. But we need to get the work done, and I need proof that you were actually present—because if we don’t, we both fail.”
Sukuna glares at you, as if the very concept of responsibility offends him.
“Fucking hell,” he mutters, dragging a hand down his face again. “You’re really gonna be a hardass about this, huh?”
You raise an eyebrow. “You don’t care about failing?”
“Not really.”
Your eyes narrow. “Then why are you even in this class?”
At this, he finally drops his chair back down onto all four legs, leaning in slightly. “Let’s get one thing straight,” he says, voice lower, more serious. “I don’t need this shit. I’m here because my old man thinks I should at least pretend to give a fuck about college.” He smirks, sharp and taunting. “But don’t get it twisted—I don’t actually give a fuck.” You pause, studying him, trying to piece together the weight behind his words. Of course, you know he comes from money. Everyone does. The Ryomen family name carries weight, old money, power, prestige—so it makes sense that college, for him, is just some bullshit obligation rather than a means to a future. Still, something about the way he says it—how bitter it sounds—sticks with you. Not that you care.
You roll your eyes. “Right. Got it. Poor little rich boy.”
His smirk drops.
For a second, there’s silence.
Then—
“You know what?” Sukuna says, voice eerily calm. “Fine. I’ll meet up with you.”
You blink, a little thrown off by how easily he gives in.
“
Okay?”
“But.” His gaze darkens, and the corner of his mouth twitches, almost like he’s daring you to argue. “You work around my schedule.”
Your stomach twists with irritation. “That’s not—”
“Not my problem,” he cuts in smoothly, leaning back in his chair. “I don’t do morning meetups. I don’t do last-minute bullshit. And if you start bitching about how I ‘don’t take this seriously,’” he mocks, voice lilting high, “I will walk out and leave you with an automatic fail. Or whatever the fuck happens to your grade if the other person doesn’t do their part. Got it?” Your blood boils. But what can you do? You already tried to get reassigned. So, through gritted teeth, you say, “Fine.”
Sukuna smirks.
“Good girl.”
–
You should have known it was going to be hell the second he suggested meeting at the East Wing library. It’s the furthest damn library on campus—twenty minutes from the dorms, uphill, and completely out of the way. Not a single other student in your class would have chosen that location. And yet, when you tried suggesting the much closer, more convenient library, Sukuna had just shrugged, barely sparing you a glance as he packed up his bag.
“Aw, did you forget that I’m in charge of where we meet up?,” he drawled, voice dripping with fake sympathy. “That sounds like a you problem.”
And just like that, the decision was final. So now, here you are, twenty minutes later, climbing the last flight of stairs to the East Wing library, already in a foul mood before the study session has even started. And when you finally get there? You find Sukuna kicked back in his chair at one of the study tables, feet up, scrolling through his phone like he’s waiting on room service instead of his own damn groupmate.
No laptop. No notes No book. Just his phone. Un-fucking-believable. You drop your bag onto the chair across from him, loudly, but he doesn’t even flinch. Doesn’t look up. Doesn’t acknowledge your presence at all.
“Seriously?” you deadpan, arms crossing. Sukuna exhales through his nose, still not looking at you. “Took you long enough.” You almost black out from rage.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” you say, voice flat. “My dorm is on the opposite side of campus.” He hums, barely acknowledging your words, his focus glued to his phone. You take a deep breath, count to three, and pull out your laptop. “Okay. So, the project—”
Before you can even finish, his phone rings. And instead of silencing it, like a normal human being, Sukuna just smirks and answers it, right there in front of you. “Yo,” he says lazily, stretching his arms behind his head. Your eye twitches. The person on the other end—you recognise the voice as Choso—says something that makes Sukuna huff a laugh, shaking his head.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m at the library,” he mutters. “With that chick from class.” Your hand tightens around your pen. So he didn’t even know your name. Great. And you two were supposedly paired for the rest of this semester? You wanted to fucking die. Not even two minutes in, and he’s already testing your patience. Sukuna leans back, grinning as Choso says something else. “Nah, it’s just her,” Sukuna says, completely offhand. “No eye candy here, bro.”
Your grip tightens around your pen. Did this dumbass seriously just say that out loud? In a library? In the middle of your study session? You drop your pen onto the table with a sharp thud, but the sting in your chest lingers. It’s not like you expected anything different from him. It’s not like you cared.

Except you do. Just a little. Not because you want him to think you’re pretty—fuck no—but because there’s something uniquely humiliating about being dismissed like that. Like your presence is some minor inconvenience he has to tolerate. Your jaw locks, and you square your shoulders, forcing the feeling down. Screw him. You’re not here to impress him. You’re here to get your damn work done. Sukuna finally glances up, raising a brow like he just now realized you’re sitting there. You stare at him, completely done. He hums, completely unbothered, before turning his focus back to his phone. “Relax. You look like someone stuck a stick up your ass.”
“Genuinely do you have a mental illness or some shit?,” you shoot back, your irritation reaching an all-time high. “We have a chemistry project that’s 45% of our grade, and you’re sitting here talking about—”
“Bro, hold on,” Sukuna suddenly says into the receiver, cutting you off mid-rant. He holds his hand up like he’s physically silencing you, turning his head away. “Choso, you hear this? Shorty’s about to pop a blood vessel over some homework. All ‘cause I said she isn’t some eye candy. Women, right?”
Your mouth falls open.
Did he just—
“I— You—”
Your brain short-circuits for a second, tripping over the sheer audacity of him. Sukuna leans back in his chair, grinning up at you like a complete bastard. “You need to get laid or something?” A beat of silence. Your entire body stills. And then, without hesitation, you lean forwards and rip his phone out of his hand and slam it face-down in front of you.
“The fuck?” Sukuna scoffs, finally looking genuinely surprised for the first time all day. Then, his smirk returns, and he props his chin on his hand, clearly amused. “You got some nerve,” he muses. 
“And you have the IQ of a fucking vegetable, but we’re still here.”
Sukuna huffs a laugh, shaking his head. “Damn. What’s got your panties in a twist?”
“My panties in a twist?” you scoff, staring at him in pure disbelief. “You refuse to work, you talk shit about the way I look while I’m sitting right here, and you—”
“You are sitting right there, and you’re not really hot enough for me to notice.” he interrupts smoothly. “What, you want me to lie?” 
Your eye twitches. “You could at least pretend to have an ounce of human decency—”
“Pfft,” Sukuna snorts. “For you?” Your nostrils flare. Sukuna just grins. “Oh, come on,” he drawls, waving a hand. “You’re taking this way too personally.”
“How—” You press your fingers to your temples, inhaling sharply. “How else am I supposed to take it when you—”
“And you,” Sukuna counters casually, “are a fucking headache.” You slam your hand against the table, startling the people sitting nearby. “At least I’m a headache with a work ethic. You’re a pain in the ass and can’t focus for like what? 2 seconds? Without spacing out.”
“Congrats,” he deadpans. “You want a gold star?”
You want him to get hit by a bus. 
Sukuna shakes his head, leaning back again, still looking far too entertained. “Look, we both know you’re gonna do most of the work anyway,” he says lazily. “So why not just save yourself the stress and accept it?”
“Because this is a group project—”
“Yeah, and I’m in the group. So technically, that counts.” You inhale sharply, barely keeping yourself from lunging across the table.
“Swear to god, bro,” Sukuna snorts, having picked up his phone from where you’d slammed it down, resuming his call with Choso, “I got this chick sending me, like, three nudes back-to-back last night. Shit was insane.”
“You are,” you say, voice flat, “fucking disgusting.” Sukuna smirks, clearly thriving off your irritation. “Oh? Why, ‘cause I get pussy?”
“No,” you snap, willing for your cheeks not to redden with the way he speaks so crudely. “Because we’re supposed to be working.”
He hums, completely unbothered, before turning his focus back to his phone. “Relax. I got time.” You scoff. “Oh, so you do know how deadlines work?”
“Damn,” Sukuna mutters, shaking his head, lips curling into an annoyed frown. “You’re really pressed over this, huh?”
“This is not happening,” you mutter under your breath. “I am not about to let some oversized thug skate his way through a semester while I—”
“Thug?” Sukuna repeats, laughing. “You mean scholar? You hear that, Choso?” He puts his phone on speaker. “She just called me a thug.”
“Yeah, I heard,” Choso’s voice comes through the speaker, lazy and unbothered. “She’s right.” Sukuna snaps his head down at his phone. “The fuck?” 
You bark out a sharp laugh, your first real one of the evening. Sukuna rolls his eyes and hangs up, tossing his phone onto the table with an annoyed click of his tongue. “Choso’s a bitch,” he mutters.
“And you’re a waste of oxygen.” Sukuna grins at you. “You’re a piece of shit.” You snatch your textbook off the table and throw it at him, eye twitching when he easily manages to catch it.
“Oh my god, please kill yourself and do us all a favour” Sukuna laughs at that, tilting his head like he’s genuinely entertained by how close you are to losing your shit. “C’mon,” he drawls, placing his phone face-down on the table—finally giving you some attention. “Let’s hear it, then. What’s our big, bad, super important assignment?”
You exhale sharply, flipping open your notes. “It’s a research-based chemistry project. We’re supposed to choose a topic related to reaction mechanisms and provide a full breakdown of the process. That includes—”
Sukuna leans back. “Boring.” You snap your notebook shut again. “Oh my god.” He grins. “This is really your shit, huh?”
“What?”
“The nerdy little projects,” he teases, resting his chin on his hand. “Bet you’re thriving right now.” You glare. “I am thriving off the idea of you getting hit by a bus.” Sukuna just chuckles, shaking his head. “Violent,” he muses. “Didn’t think you had it in you.” You press your fingers against your temples. “I hate you.”
“Yeah?” He smirks. “That’s cute.” You inhale sharply. Exhale. Inhale again. This is fine. This is totally fine. He is just a guy. This is just a project. And you are not going to let him get under your skin. You open your notebook again, forcing yourself to focus. “Our topic is—”
Sukuna clicks his tongue. “Ooooor,” he interrupts, leaning forward with a lazy smirk, “you can just shut up and do it yourself.”
You pause. You blink at him, barely processing what he just said. He shrugs. “You’re good at this shit. I’m not. Seems fair.” Your jaw clenches. “Haven’t you gotten it through your thick skull? Even if I wanted to, we have to constantly update all the meeting logs, and–.”
Sukuna just smirks wider, cutting you off in true Sukuna fashion. “But it’d be so much easier if you did all of it, wouldn’t it? And those fucking collaboration logs can be faked.” You stare at him. You are going to lose your mind. You are actually going to lose your fucking mind. You inhale one last time, roll your shoulders back, and meet his gaze with renewed determination. “Let’s get one thing straight,” you say, voice sharp. “If you refuse to contribute, I will tell our professor. And you know that they take the reported behaviour for consideration the next time they mark a group assignment from literally any other class, yeah? ”
Sukuna snorts. “Snitch.” You glare harder. “I don’t care.” He clicks his tongue, shaking his head like you’re just so exhausting to deal with.
“Such a pain in the ass,” he mutters, stretching his arms above his head. “But whatever. We’ll see.” 
You stare him down. You know what that means. It means he has no intention of doing shit. You exhale slowly, clenching your jaw. This is going to be the longest semester of your life.
–
You try to keep your composure. You really, really do. But after a week of dealing with Ryomen fucking Sukuna, you’re already at your breaking point. It’s bad enough that he refuses to contribute anything to the project. Bad enough that every time you try to get him to focus, he leans back in his chair like some smug, insufferable prince, making a point to not listen.
“Oh, come on,” he drawls one day in class, stretching lazily in his seat while you sit next to him, barely keeping yourself from strangling him. His shirt rides up just a bit, flashing a sliver of tattooed skin– and a happy trail– and you look away on instinct. He deserves no admiration. “You love this shit. It’s kind of sweet, honestly. Doing all the work for me like this?”
Your grip tightens on your pen, knuckles going white. “I wouldn’t have to if you actually did your part, dumbass.”
Unfortunately, the guy was worse than you had anticipated, so begrudgingly, only once or twice you had taken up his slack, deeming that he wouldn’t get into too much trouble even if you complained to the professor. It wasn’t too bad considering it was just the introductory part of the project, but you would probably complain if he pulled this shit in the middle of the semester when things got serious. Sukuna just smirks. That smirk. The kind that makes you want to throw something at his face. “Do I, though?”
Your eye twitches. “Yes.”
“Because, from where I’m sitting, it looks like you’ve already taken care of most of it.” He gestures lazily to your open notes—your notes, where half the research under his name is written in your own handwriting because you were sick of waiting for him to do it. “Appreciate the help, baby.” Your jaw clenches. “You—”
You exhale sharply, fingers flexing against your notebook. You swear, if murder wasn’t illegal—
Across the table, Choso (They had been lounging here with him even before you had arrived, and you were sleep deprived and tired from the venture to the East wing from your dorm, so you kept your mouth shut about their presence) chuckles. “Damn, Sukuna,” he muses, lips quirking as he glances between the two of you. “She’s really out here doing your degree for you.” Toji snorts. “Shit, at this point, just put her name on your diploma.”
You snap your head toward them, scowling. “I’m not—”
“Oh, but you kinda are,” Sukuna interjects smoothly, smirking. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll make sure to give you a nice lil’ thank you when I graduate.” You glare. “I don’t want your fucking thanks. I want you to do your damn work.” Sukuna just clicks his tongue and leans back, propping his feet up on the chair next to him like he has not a single care in the world. “Yeah, yeah,” he mutters, so fucking dismissive. “We’ll see.”
—
It gets worse. Because apparently, refusing to do work and making you look like an idiot in front of his friends isn’t enough. No, of course not. Sukuna has to make sure you suffer. So, during one of your scheduled study sessions (during the most odd times of the day), while you’re actively trying to go over the research, Sukuna—in all his dickhead glory—leans back in his chair, tilts his head toward the nearest girl, and flashes that cocky, stupid toothy smile of his.
“Hey,” he purrs, voice dropping into that low, slow tone that has half the campus wrapped around his fucking finger. “You got a pencil?” The girl blinks—clearly flustered—before fumbling through her bag. “Uh—yeah! Yeah, here.” Sukuna smirks, taking it from her fingers way too slowly, thumb brushing against hers. The poor girl sucks in a sharp breath, eyes widening like she’s just touched a live wire. He leans in just slightly, voice dropping to something just for her. “Thanks, cutie. Real lifesaver.”
The girl giggles, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers. “You’re welcome, Sukuna.” You knew he was an asshole. You knew that his stupid, irritating grin made girls fall over themselves. But this? This was just blatant disrespect. You were right there. He was doing this on purpose. And sure enough, when you glance up, Sukuna’s already watching you—mouth twitching, eyes glinting with amusement. You slam your book shut. “Are you done?” Sukuna raises an eyebrow, playing dumb. “What?” You gesture vaguely toward the poor girl, who’s still blushing and dazed from his attention. “With your little
 whatever this is?”
His smirk stretches wider. “Jealous?” 
Your nostrils flare. “I’m annoyed.” He hums, twirling the pencil between his fingers. “Could’ve fooled me.” You clench your fists under the table, swallowing the very real urge to dump your coffee on his head. You refuse—refuse—to let him get under your skin. So, instead, you take a breath, roll your shoulders back, and force your voice to stay level. “Are you actually going to contribute today, or should I just log that you didn’t show up?”
Sukuna laughs—loud and unbothered. “Damn,” he drawls, leaning forward on his elbows. “You’re kinda a hardass, huh?” You stare him down, unwavering. “And you’re a waste of fucking time.” His grin widens, something sharper, meaner curling at the edges of it.
“Now, that’s just mean,” he muses, tapping the pencil against the table. “What happened, sweetheart? You just pissed off, or do you just need to get fucked? Seriously with the way you act so fuckin’ bitchy all the time, I swear you act like you haven’t had dick in ages.”
You still for half a second. Then your jaw locks. Your entire body runs hot, blood boiling, because what the fuck? You’re already on edge, and now he’s going there? You let out a short, sharp laugh, shaking your head. “You speak so disgustingly, you know that? So weird and perverted...” Sukuna leans back again, sprawled out, totally relaxed. “What? I’m just saying.” He gestures vaguely in your direction. “Maybe that’s why you’re so uptight all the time.” Across the room, the girl from earlier glances over, eyes flicking between you and Sukuna like she’s witnessing something amusing. You refuse to give her—or him—the satisfaction. You inhale sharply, steadying yourself. And then, voice cold and clipped, you meet his gaze dead-on.
“Do your fucking work, Sukuna.” He grins. And then, of course, he doesn’t.
–
The lecture hall is freezing, the air-conditioning cranked too high like the university is trying to keep students awake through sheer environmental hostility. It doesn’t work. You’re exhausted. After back-to-back shifts at work, an avalanche of coursework, and the black hole of stress that is your chem project with Sukuna, you’re running on fumes. The moment you step into the lecture hall, your eyes instinctively scan for the back row. If—when—you inevitably start nodding off, you don’t want the professor clocking it. You sink into a chair near the corner, stretching your legs out with a sigh. Heavy-lidded eyes drift toward the front, barely focusing on the professor setting up slides. You could close your eyes just for a second—
The seat next to you creaks. A familiar presence drops beside you, and you know who it is before you even turn your head. Sukuna. Of course. You don’t acknowledge him. Maybe if you ignore him, he’ll take the hint and—
His knee knocks against yours, jostling you just as your head dips forward. Your body tenses, and you snap a glare in his direction. He’s manspreading like he owns the place, legs sprawled wide, one arm slung over the back of your chair like this is his personal space and not a public lecture hall. He’s wearing one of those long-sleeve compression shirts that clings to his frame, every inked line of muscle pressing against the fabric. Not that you care. But the sheer arrogance of it is annoying. You scowl, shifting as far away from him as possible. “Why are you here?”
“Dunno,” he drawls, voice low and amused. “Felt like it.”  You roll your eyes and turn back toward the front, trying to focus on the professor’s voice. Your brain is barely keeping up with the lecture, exhaustion pressing against your skull like a weight. Sukuna doesn’t let up. He leans in just enough to make his presence known. “Damn,” he muses, eyes dragging over your face with something unreadable. “You look rough. Didn’t get the chance to put on concealer or whatever you women use to cover up that?” The words land heavier than they should. It’s the way he says it. Careless. Blunt. No humor to soften the edge.  And you know you’re not ugly– the opposite in fact, but–
Your face drops before you can stop it. You don’t have the energy to fight back today. You just swallow whatever sharp retort you could say, fix your gaze on the front of the lecture hall, and pretend like he doesn’t exist.  Sukuna notices. For the first time in ever, he doesn’t get the reaction he expects. No snark, no glare, no half-assed insult thrown back at him. Just
 silence. You don’t even look at him. Something weird stirs in his chest, something unfamiliar and fucking irritating. It sits in the back of his throat, in the pit of his stomach, but he ignores it—brushes it off like it’s nothing. He doesn’t say another word for the rest of class.
–
By the time the second week of working with Sukuna rolls around, you’re wrecked. Sleep-deprived, overworked, running purely on caffeine and sheer spite. Between your job, your other classes, and this hellish project, there isn’t a single moment to breathe. You’ve been taking shifts at work to make rent, pulling late nights cramming for exams, and somehow, despite your best efforts, Sukuna is still making your life miserable. The last thing you need is another study session with him. You drag yourself into the East Wing Library, exhausted and bitter about it. The East Wing is so far from your usual haunts, practically on the other side of campus, and the walk here in the late afternoon heat is hellish. You mumble complaints under your breath the entire way—something about how your feet hurt, how this library is ugly anyway, how he should’ve come to your spot instead—but you know Sukuna won’t care. He probably won’t even listen.
Sure enough, he’s already lounging at one of the study tables when you arrive, acting like he’s been here for hours when in reality, he probably sat down two minutes ago. He’s slouched in his chair, all sprawled out and insufferable, wearing that same damn compression shirt that makes him look more like a gym rat than a student. His legs are spread so wide he’s practically taking up half the table. In fact, the table looks small compared to how long his legs are. You resist the urge to drop your bag onto his lap just to make him move. Instead, you sink into the chair across from him and immediately rest your forehead against your palm. “Kill me,” you mutter.
Sukuna barely acknowledges you. “You look like you’re already halfway there.”
You sigh heavily. You don’t even have the energy to glare at him. “Gee, thanks.” He’s watching you. You can feel it. That lazy, assessing stare, like he’s about to say something that’ll make you want to slap him. Something that’ll make that weird, uncomfortable feeling go down your spine.
And then—
Nothing. You brace yourself for the insult, for the inevitable Damn, you look fucked up but it never comes. He just clicks his tongue, looking back at his laptop screen, eyebrows furrowed. You squint at him. Weird. But whatever. You don’t have the time or patience to dissect the mysteries of Ryomen Sukuna’s behavior. You flip open your notes, rubbing at your eyes. “Okay, let’s just get this over with,” you mumble. “I still have an essay to write after this.”
Sukuna stretches, the fabric of his compression shirt shifting as he raises his arms above his head. His shirt rides up slightly, revealing a sliver of inked skin carved just above his hip. You don’t mean to notice, but you do—because of course, he’s the type of asshole who shows off his tattoos like they’re a personality trait. You snap your eyes away before he catches you looking. “Relax, woman,” he drawls, voice dripping with lazy amusement. “No need to be so fucking tense.”
Your grip tightens around your pen. Woman? Again? You level him with an exasperated glare. “Tense? I’ve been doing our project by myself while you sit on your ass, and I’m the one who’s tense?” You scoff. “And stop calling me woman, you sound like you get life advice from Andrew Tate.” That earns you a sharp, wolfish grin. “Are you not a woman?” he counters smoothly, tilting his head. Before you can answer, his eyes deliberately drop—slow, pointed—trailing down to your chest. He doesn’t even try to be subtle about it, and the sheer audacity of this man has you gaping at him, heat rushing to your face in a mixture of anger and secondhand embarrassment. Your jaw clenches, your hands curling into fists beneath the table. “Are you fucking serious?” you grit out, voice low and sharp.
Sukuna just smirks, lazy and unbothered, flicking his eyes back up to yours with a knowing look. “What? Just checking.”
You resist the urge to lunge across the table and strangle him on the spot. Just breathe. Don’t get expelled for homicide. 
“Also, Andrew Tate? Seriously, woman? What, you think I’d listen to a broke, bald bitch like him?” Sukuna leans forward, arms resting on the table, shoulders broad and imposing. “You’ve got some real shitty assumptions about me.”
“I’ve got accurate assumptions about you,” you correct.
He just smirks. “You say that like I’ve done nothing.”
You glare harder. “You have done nothing.”
“Have I?” he challenges, cocking a brow. He tilts his laptop screen toward you, and there, staring back at you, is a shockingly filled-out document. Your eyes flicker across the paragraphs—coherent, formatted, and even cited.
You blink. Pause. Stare at him like he’s just grown another head. Because for the past week, this man has contributed exactly two sentences to the project. “
And?” you say, deadpan. “What do you want? A gold star? A participation trophy?” Sukuna leans back, manspreading like the chair was custom-built just for him. “Don’t need validation from you, sweetheart.”
“Good,” you shoot back. “Because you’re not getting any.” He lets out an exaggerated sigh, rubbing a hand down his face like you’re the exhausting one here. “Look, I don’t see what the big deal is. The project’s coming along fine.” You inhale sharply. Count to five. Resist the urge to fling your notebook at his fat head. “It’s coming along fine because I’ve been doing all the work.”
Sukuna shrugs, unconcerned. “Teamwork makes the dream work.” You stare at him. A long, silent, murderous stare. 
“You make me wanna end my life,” you finally say, voice utterly devoid of emotion. He grins, teeth sharp and infuriating. “I know.” You exhale slowly through your nose, willing yourself not to commit homicide. Instead, you rub your temples and look back at your notes. “Let’s just finish this. I don’t want to be here all night.” Sukuna hums, tapping at his laptop. “You sound so eager to spend time with me. Desperate?”
“Oh, absolutely,” you deadpan. “It’s the highlight of my week.”
“I knew it.” He smirks. “You wanna spend the night with me, hmm? Naughty.”
You actually throw a pen at him this time. He dodges effortlessly, laughing under his breath. “Fucking finally,” you mutter. “Maybe now you’ll shut—”
“Shhh!”
You both freeze. The librarian—an older woman with a stern face and sharp eyes—is glaring at you from the front desk. You and Sukuna exchange glances. “You’re the one being loud,” you whisper harshly. Sukuna raises an eyebrow. “I’m the one being loud?”
“Yes, you—”
“Out.” The librarian’s voice cuts through the air like a blade. You and Sukuna both go silent.  And then—
“
Shit,” Sukuna mutters, closing his laptop. You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “You are such a waste of time.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He stands, stretching. “Let’s go, dumbass. You can yell at me somewhere else.” You glare at him as you gather your things. “I will be yelling at you somewhere else.” Sukuna smirks, shoving his hands into his pockets as he saunters toward the exit. “Can’t wait.” You storm out of the library with Sukuna trailing behind you, still looking disgustingly relaxed for someone who just got thrown out of a public study space. You wish she had thrown him out alone. “Dick,” you mutter under your breath, shoving your laptop into your bag as you walk. Your head throbs with exhaustion, and the last thing you need is him making this night even worse.
Behind you, Sukuna hums, amused. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Your steps falter for half a second before you pick up the pace again. He, of course, notices. "You're so fucking touchy today," he drawls, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he strolls beside you, the very picture of unbothered arrogance. "On your period?" Your eye twitches. You suck in a sharp breath through your nose, gripping the strap of your bag so hard it might snap. "Okay, we're going to the study lounge near my dorm," you say, tone clipped.
Sukuna groans. Loudly. Like you're torturing him. 
"The hell? Why?"
"Because you got us kicked out," you snap. "And we haven’t even done half of what we were supposed to get through today." Sukuna clicks his tongue in irritation but doesn’t argue further, shoving his hands into his pockets as he follows behind you. His pace is slower than yours, like this entire walk is beneath him, like he’s graciously putting up with it. You can practically feel his annoyance radiating off of him, thick and palpable in the evening air.
The east wing is far. Too far. You’re used to it by now—your classes are scattered across campus, your dorm inconveniently placed, and your schedule an absolute disaster. Between balancing coursework, shifts at your part-time job, and somehow squeezing in study sessions, your days bleed into each other in a never-ending cycle of exhaustion. And because Sukuna’s the most infuriating person alive, he’s been forcing you to make this trek every damn day, dragging you out to the main library just so he can half-ass his way through this project in a space that he prefers. You’ve followed along because you refuse to let this assignment tank, but every second spent with him is another test of patience you’re not sure you’ll pass. So when, predictably, about ten minutes into the walk, he lets out an exaggerated, loud huff of irritation, you already know something stupid is about to leave his mouth.
"Are we still walking?" he grumbles, scowling at the path ahead. "This is taking so fucking long." Your eye twitches. You keep walking, fists clenched at your sides, trying—trying—to ignore him. But he doesn’t stop. Because of course he doesn’t.
"This is stupid," he mutters. "Should've just stayed at the fucking library. Or better yet, we could’ve just worked at my place—"
And that’s it. That’s the last straw. You snap.
"I do this every day because of you!"
The words come out harsher, sharper than you intended, but you don’t care. You whirl around to glare at him, eyes blazing, voice rising louder than it should, this late at night. "You think this is taking too fucking long? You made me do this every night. You insisted on working at the damn library. You refuse to meet anywhere else because apparently, my dorm study lounge isn’t good enough for you!" You huff out a breath, heart pounding in your chest. "So yeah, Sukuna, it is a long walk. And guess what? I do this every single day while you sit on your ass and complain!" Sukuna stops mid-step. His mouth is half-open, clearly ready to throw some cocky remark back at you—except nothing comes out. For once, he’s quiet. That, more than anything, unnerves you. But you don’t stick around to decipher the look on his face. You turn back around and keep walking, jaw clenched, shoulders tense, because if you don’t, you might actually lose your mind. And this project isn’t worth a murder charge.
Sukuna watches as you keep walking, your back rigid with frustration, your fingers curled so tightly around the strap of your bag it looks like the only thing anchoring you upright. It’s only now, in the dim glow of the overhead lights of the university hallways, that he actually sees you. The exhaustion carved deep into the lines of your face, etched into the tight pull of your brows and the faint downturn of your lips. The way your steps drag just slightly, like your body is moments away from giving in but you refuse to let it. The dark circles beneath your eyes, barely concealed by whatever concealer you must’ve swiped on this morning. 
(Yes, you ended up feeling the tiniest bit hurt and put some on the next time you saw him)
You look tired. Not the kind of tired that comes from a late night or an early morning. No, this is the exhaustion that settles deep in your bones, that lingers even after you’ve slept, the kind that never really leaves. And then there’s something else—something off. It’s not like you to get this quiet after snapping at him. Normally, you’d keep going, pushing, throwing words at him like knives, sharp and ruthless, waiting for him to hurl them right back. That’s how it’s always been between you two. You say something snarky, he says something worse. You get pissed off, he laughs. It’s a cycle. A game.
But right now? Right now, you don’t fight. You don’t even look at him. Sukuna exhales sharply through his nose, irritation flickering beneath his skin—but it’s not directed at you. Not this time. He shoves his hands in his pockets, jaw clenching, his usual smirk nowhere to be seen. And for the rest of the walk, he doesn’t say a word. No complaints. No grumbling. No sarcastic remarks. Just silence.
–
The place is smaller than the library, tucked into the corner of your dorm building, but at least it’s quiet. Fluorescent lights hum overhead, and only a few other students are scattered around, focused on their own work. You drop into a chair unceremoniously, opening your laptop with a sigh. Sukuna takes the seat across from you, stretching his legs out obnoxiously under the table until they almost bump into yours. You kick him. He smirks. “Feisty.”
"Shut up."
For the next half hour, you work in silence. Sukuna pretends to read something on his screen, but you can feel his eyes flicking to you every so often, assessing. You try not to think about it. It’s quiet for a moment, and then—
"You formatted this wrong," he says.  Your head snaps up. "What?" Sukuna tilts his screen toward you, pointing lazily at a section of your document. "The citation. APA, not MLA, genius."  You stare at him, brows knitting together. "Why the hell do you know that?" Sukuna shrugs, leaning back in his chair. "What, you think you're the only one with a functioning brain?"
"Functioning is a strong word," you mutter, fixing the citation. He snorts, but then, because he’s him, he adds, “I mean, makes sense you’d fuck that up. You look half-dead.” Your eye twitches. "And you look like a walking midlife crisis, but you don't hear me pointing it out every two seconds." Sukuna grins, sharp and unrepentant. “Liar. You know I look good.”
“Ugly.”
“Sexy.”
"Say that again and I'll stab you with my pen." 
It’s late by the time you finally close your laptop, rubbing at your temples. The day has dragged on forever, and the last thing you want is to keep dealing with him. You shove your things into your bag, ready to leave, when Sukuna—still leaned back in his chair, still looking infuriatingly relaxed—says, "Tch. Whatever. We’ll just meet here next time." You pause. Blink at him. "Huh?" He doesn’t look at you when he says it, like this entire conversation is so beneath him. "The hell, are you deaf? I said we’ll just meet here next time. Less walking." You stare, uncertain of what to make of that. Of him saying anything at all.
Then—
"Uh. Okay," you mumble. Sukuna snorts, pushing himself up from his chair, rolling his shoulders like this entire night has been a mild inconvenience to him and nothing more. “Try not to die of exhaustion before then.”
You flip him off.
He grins.
–
The dorm study lounge in your building isn’t anything special—just a couple of couches, a cluster of wobbly desks, and chairs that groan when anyone shifts. But it’s quiet, it’s close, and more importantly, it’s not the goddamn East Wing library. You’re already seated with your laptop open when Sukuna strolls in like he owns the place, hoodie thrown over his shoulder, compression shirt clinging to him in that casually smug way that makes you want to set your notebook on fire.
“Damn. You live like this?” he says instead of greeting, glancing around at the peeling posters and flickering overhead light.
“You’ve been here three times now,” you mutter, not looking up. “Get over it.” To your surprise, he actually sits down and opens his laptop. No dramatic sighs, no drawn-out complaints. Just pulls up the shared doc and starts typing. You side-eye him suspiciously. “Wait. You’re actually doing work?”
Sukuna doesn’t even look at you. “Told you I’m not completely useless.”
“You literally did none of the intro. Or the background research. Or the—”
He turns slightly, eyes narrowed. “Jesus. You want me to write your acknowledgements too?”
You roll your eyes and keep typing, but you can’t help the way your gaze flicks back to his screen every so often. He’s doing it. Slowly, a little messily, but he’s actually doing the work. You hate how that’s kind of impressive. The door creaks open an hour in and Toji saunters in with a protein bar in one hand and Choso trailing behind him, hoodie half-on like he got distracted putting it on. “Yo,” Toji says, tossing himself onto the arm of your chair like there’s no concept of personal space. “This where the grind’s happening?” 
Choso raises a brow at Sukuna. “Didn’t think you actually meant it when you said you were working on your project.” Sukuna scoffs, not even looking up from the screen. “Don’t start.” They pull up chairs, half-invited, half-ignored. Somehow, you end up the only person who seems to be actually working while the other three devolve into semi-productive chaos. Eventually, the conversation drifts—like it always does when boys are left alone with too much time and not enough supervision.
“Yo, did you see that blonde on the cheer squad last game?” Toji starts, popping open a protein bar like it’s part of the ritual. “The one with the ribbon thing in her hair. Face card was solid.” Choso smirks, still half-focused on his phone. “I think she followed me on Insta. Or her friend did. Can’t tell—cheer girls got that same face filter thing going on.”
You hum under your breath, noncommittal. You’ve learned how to tune this out. Let the background noise of testosterone and ego bounce off while you focus on your screen. But then—
Choso glances up, flicking his gaze between you and Sukuna like he’s just had a thought worth sharing. “Actually
 Sukuna’s got the best deal out of all of us.” You pause your typing. Slightly. Toji quirks a brow. “How you figure?”
“He gets to sit across from her every day,” Choso says casually, jerking his chin in your direction. “Dude’s been staring at that face for what, like a week straight?” Your head snaps up. “Excuse me?”
Choso lifts both hands in mock surrender. “Just saying. When you’re not chewing him out, you’re actually kinda—”
He doesn’t finish the sentence. Just gives a slow, meaningfully raised brow like the conclusion is obvious. Toji lets out a low whistle, the corner of his mouth twitching. “No, wait—he’s right. You’ve got that whole mean girl, academic weapon, doesn’t-look-up-in-lectures thing going on.” You just blink at them, caught somewhere between wanting to melt into your chair or hurl your laptop at both their heads. Sukuna, up until now half-listening while scrolling on his screen, exhales like this whole conversation is beneath him. “Shut the fuck up.” His voice is flat. Lazy. Like he's bored with their entire existence. But his eyes flick up—and linger on you just a beat too long. There’s no smirk. No wink. Just that unreadable look again. Heavy-lidded. Slightly narrowed.
Toji raises a brow. “Struck a nerve?” Choso glances between you and Sukuna, curious now. “Damn. Didn’t know you were the territorial type.” Sukuna doesn’t even rise to it. Just drags a hand through his hair and mutters, “You idiots hear yourselves talk?” That seems to be enough. Toji snorts and mutters a half-apology under his breath. “Alright, alright. Chill.”
Choso shrugs. “She’s still bad though. No take-backs.” You clear your throat and mutter, “Thanks
 I guess?”
No one hears it except Sukuna, whose gaze shifts back to his laptop—but his ears are slightly pink now. Not that he’d admit it. And just like that, the boys forget they ever had a filter. They’re back to talking about the football coach and some frat party coming up next weekend. You, meanwhile, keep your eyes glued to your screen—but your skin feels hotter, like that look Sukuna gave you never quite left. You try to refocus on your screen, but your heart’s still thudding in your chest in a way you hate. You don’t want to be flustered. Especially not over Sukuna, who has the emotional depth of a spoon. Still, when the session winds down and Toji and Choso finally get bored and wander off, Sukuna leans back and says, with the same bored tone he uses when talking about the weather, “I’ll see you here again next week. I’ll finish up some of the work at my place before I come, so we don’t hafta sit here on our asses long enough for these idiots to show up again.”
You blink. “Uh
 okay.” He doesn’t wait for a response. Just slings his bag over his shoulder, walks off like he hasn’t just stunned you into silence with the barest sliver of consideration, and mutters under his breath on the way out:
“Better chairs anyway.” You stare after him. Annoyed. Confused. Unsettled. Slightly amused. And a little less sure about how much of a dick he really is.
–
It’s been three weeks since you started meeting in the dorm building’s study lounge. The sessions are no less exhausting, but they’ve become
 bearable. You still argue. He’s still insufferable. But Sukuna actually does the work now. Not without the occasional passive-aggressive comment or that maddening little smirk when he catches you getting flustered. But he contributes. Sometimes he even takes initiative—like today, when you arrived and found he’d already opened the shared doc and annotated the latest journal article. Miracles, apparently, do happen.
You're both seated on opposite sides of the same table, a precarious peace holding between the clack of your keys and the scratch of his pen against paper. Sukuna's in a black hoodie—which really emphasises how broad his shoulders are–paired with some low-slung sweatpants. He’s got one leg up on the chair, knee almost brushing the table’s underside, completely manspreaded in a way that takes up far more space than necessary. Typical. You’ve tuned it all out. Almost. The only sound in the lounge is the soft hum of the vending machine and the low rustle of paper. That is, until your phone buzzes.
You glance down.
[8:37 PM] Yuna:
pls tell me ur free next friday night frat party at Theta house i need a plus one u owe meee
You pause. Theta house. The name sparks something in your brain—a half-formed association, faint and unimportant until now. You’ve heard it muttered in passing, caught glimpses of its parties plastered all over people’s Instagram stories. Flashy. Loud. Too many red solo cups and too little self-respect. But more importantly: it rings a specific bell. Something familiar. Your eyes flicker back to the message on your screen, rereading Yuna’s plea. Your brows furrow. You bite the inside of your cheek, lips tugging downward as you try to decide if this is worth the impending social fatigue, or if you can just ghost her and fake a fever. Maybe a paper cut. Across the table, the scratch of pen on paper falters. You don’t even notice until Sukuna’s voice cuts in, sharp and dry. 
“What’re you making that face for?” he asks without looking up. Flat, disinterested, like your expression is an inconvenience. You blink, mildly startled. “...What face?”
“That weird one.” He finally lifts his head, narrowing his eyes at you with vague irritation. “Like you just found out you forgot to pay your car registration or somethin’.” Your mouth opens, closes. “It’s just a text,” you say eventually, letting out a quiet sigh as you flip your phone facedown. “My friend’s dragging me to a frat party next week. She needs a plus-one.” At that, Sukuna stills. Not dramatically. Just... a subtle pause. His elbow stops bouncing. His pen hovers above the page.
“What frat?” he asks. The question is casual, but his gaze sharpens ever so slightly. You hesitate. “
Theta house. I think.”
He snorts. Loud and unmistakable. “That’s mine.” 
Your head snaps up. “What?”
He leans back lazily, one arm thrown over the back of the chair, looking maddeningly relaxed. “Theta. That’s my frat. Toji, mine and Cho’s. Didn’t ya know? They were talkin’ about it before.” You blink, momentarily at a loss. The realization hits with a muted thud—of course. It all makes sense now. The flashy parties, the obnoxiously loud music every other weekend, the guys who walk around campus with too much cologne and too few responsibilities. Of course he lives there.
“Oh,” you say finally. It hangs there—awkward, brittle, like a glass ornament someone forgot to put away after Christmas. You both look back down at your notes, pretending the moment never happened. You reread the same sentence in your textbook three times and still can’t register what it says. The silence isn’t exactly uncomfortable, but it isn’t comfortable either. Just... weird. Like there’s something in the air that neither of you wants to acknowledge. Then, after a minute, Sukuna exhales slowly and leans further back in his seat.
“You should swing by,” he says offhandedly. So casual it sounds like a throwaway line.
You glance up. “Huh?”
“The party,” he says, eyes flicking briefly toward you, then back to the ceiling. “Your friend’s already going. Might as well.” You study him. His expression is unreadable—calm, indifferent. No trace of smugness, no expectation behind the offer. It’s almost too nonchalant. Like he wouldn’t care either way. You narrow your eyes a little. “Are you
 inviting me?”
He shrugs. “You’re not special. I’m inviting everyone.” Your lips twitch at that, but you don’t call him out. “Right. Of course.”
Still, you hear your voice soften slightly. 
“I’ll think about it.”
Sukuna hums in response, eyes drifting downward—right to your hoodie, baggy enough to cover you from neck to knee, sleeves tugged over your hands. You can practically see the judgment forming. “Just don’t show up dressed like this,” he mutters, the corner of his mouth twitching. You snort before you can stop yourself. A short, surprised laugh bursts out of you. “Seriously?”
He gives you a deadpan look. “It’s a party, not a cult meeting.” You raise your brows, amused. “Clearly, you don’t know me at all if you think I dress like this everywhere.” Sukuna tilts his head, studying you like you just issued a challenge. “So you do have real clothes.”
“I’m a woman of mystery,” you say smugly, folding your arms. “You don’t get to know.” A rare smirk twitches onto his face—brief, dry, almost like he’s trying not to be amused. “That sounds like a yes.” You roll your eyes, grabbing your highlighter again. “Focus on organic chemistry, casanova.”
He chuckles under his breath but doesn’t argue, returning to his notes. The mood shifts again—easy now, fluid in a way you didn’t expect. The banter lingers, like a residue in the air, and for once, you don’t feel like you’re dodging landmines when you speak. You work in silence for a while longer, but it’s not the same brittle quiet from before. It’s something softer. Settled. And maybe—for just a second—it doesn’t feel like you’re enemies anymore. Not friends, either. But not enemies. When you finally pack up for the night, Sukuna doesn’t say anything. He just slings his bag over his shoulder, glances at you once, then jerks his chin toward the door like let’s go. You fall into step beside him, not speaking, the click of the lounge door swinging shut behind you.  You don’t even know how it happened. How somehow he waited for you by the staircase that led up to your dorms before departing back to where he lived. The hallway is quiet. The air, cool and crisp, smells faintly of late-night ramen and floor cleaner. You say nothing. But somehow, that moment stretches longer than it should. And it stays with you. All the way back to your dorm.
–
“Yu— I don’t know,” you say, pulling at one of the spaghetti straps of your top and glancing at your reflection in her full-length mirror, “I like wearing shit like this but
 don’t you think it’s too much for a frat party?” Your voice comes out unsure, tinged with that all-too-familiar pre-party doubt that creeps in five minutes before you’re supposed to leave. You’re still adjusting the fabric over your chest—this stupid, tiny top that clings a little too perfectly to your figure, exposing just enough skin to make you question if you’ll even make it through the front door without second-guessing everything. The bra underneath? Completely unintentional. You didn’t even mean to match it—had just grabbed something clean and vaguely push-up-ish from the drawer, but of course, it had to be your most expensive set. Lacy, pink, and not remotely subtle. Victoria’s Secret, you realize with mild betrayal, had made your boobs look criminally good. Like, pause-a-man’s-conversation good.
The top itself wasn’t the issue—it was cropped, sure, but cute. Flimsy fabric and soft color, something you could probably dress down if you were pairing it with anything other than this damn skirt. The skirt was what had you feeling like you were in over your head. And it wasn’t even yours. It was Yuna’s. A distressed, light-wash denim mini that was practically a belt. It hugged every curve, curved a little more than you were used to, and sat low enough on your hips to make you feel a tiny bit scandalous with every breath. If you shifted too fast, it felt like it’d ride up and expose everything. And with the panties that came with your VS set—thin, lacy, and technically classified as lingerie—you felt dangerously close to flashing someone if the wind so much as thought about picking up.
“I look like I’m trying to seduce someone’s dad,” you mutter.
“Oh my god,” Yuna gasps from behind you, eyes wide as she stops in her tracks. “You look so fucking hot. I’m not hearing any complaints about this.” She spins you around, hands on your shoulders as she takes in the full outfit like she’s styling you for a Vogue shoot. Her perfectly manicured fingers trail to the hem of your skirt, and with a gleam in her eye, she gives your butt a dramatic, playful slap.
You glare at her. “Can you not grope me right now?”
“Sorry,” she says, completely unapologetic. “You just look so good. Like, painfully good. Like—‘oops, I just made that guy trip over a keg because I walked by’ good.” You attempt to give her your best unimpressed stare, but it’s hard to hold when she looks that excited—and especially when she’s standing there in a sparkly, strapless top that’s practically glued to her skin and a skirt shorter than yours. Not to mention the rhinestone eyeliner and lip gloss she reapplied twice already. You sigh, defeated, because if she looked hot, and you looked hot, maybe it wasn’t the worst idea to just embrace it.
“Ugh, okay, fine,” you mutter. “You look sexy too.”
“So do you,” she grins, squeezing your wrist before spinning toward the mirror to grab her purse. “We’re gonna be the baddest bitches there.”
You snort. “That’s not exactly a high bar. I saw someone show up to one of these in a Pikachu onesie.”
“Exactly,” she says, throwing a jacket over her shoulder. “We’ll be legends by comparison.” Despite yourself, you laugh—and when you turn back to the mirror, something about the reflection feels less terrifying than it did five minutes ago. The outfit was bold, sure. But with Yuna beside you, her energy electric and effortless, you could feel yourself slipping into that mindset, too. The one where you were allowed to be hot without apologizing for it. You slip on your shoes, grab your phone, and follow Yuna out of the dorm. The hallway’s quiet, dimly lit with that weird yellow lighting all college buildings have after 10 PM. You both walk down to the street where your Uber is already waiting, music faintly thumping from the frat row just a few blocks away. And for once, you’re not dreading it. You’re a little nervous, maybe. But with your favorite person beside you, in outfits that could start wars, heading into a night with no plans other than chaos—you’re ready.
The Uber ride is a blur of Yuna’s makeup touch-ups, last-minute accessory debates, and Spotify blaring a throwback remix that has both of you scream-singing the chorus. The nerves in your stomach ease up a little more with each passing minute. Maybe it’s the way Yuna keeps hyping you up or how good the outfit actually looks under the glow of the passing streetlights—but by the time the car pulls up in front of Theta house, you’re no longer on the verge of changing outfits or ghosting the night entirely. The frat house looms ahead like every other frat house you’ve ever seen—loud music already spilling out from the open door, string lights tangled across the porch, people clustered out front with red cups in hand like it’s a high school movie come to life. You can hear someone whoop as a beer pong shot lands across the front lawn, and someone else yells “Take it off!” from an upstairs window. 
Yuna’s eyes sparkle. “Home sweet home,” she says, linking her arm through yours. Inside, it’s chaotic—but weirdly cozy. Warm. The air smells like cheap beer, cologne, and weed, the floors already sticky under your heels. There’s a crowd around the living room-turned-dance-floor, another bottlenecking at the kitchen where a keg is set up beside a counter full of jungle juice and liquor. You spot a couple of people you vaguely know from class or mutuals through Yuna—most of them already tipsy, greeting her with hugs and loud compliments. Someone hands you a drink you don’t ask for, and you take it anyway, sipping something vaguely fruity and deceptively strong. The thrum of music settles in your chest, rattling the floorboards beneath your feet, and for the first time in weeks—maybe even months—you feel something close to relaxed. You’re halfway to the kitchen to grab a chaser when it happens.
You turn a corner and bump into someone—shoulder to chest. Solid. Firm. Tall enough that you instinctively glance up before you even register who it is.
Sukuna. He looks down at you, expression unreadable for a moment—until his eyes very obviously drop from your face to the low neckline of your top. And linger. There’s the barest flicker of something—surprise? amusement?—in his eyes, but it’s gone too fast to confirm. You step back, blinking. “Oh my god. You are so weird.”
He lifts a brow. “Excuse me?”
“You’re literally checking me out like I’m a Victoria’s Secret window display,” you deadpan, tugging your top slightly higher—not that it helps much.
“You wore that and expected no one to look?” he says, voice dry and annoyingly smooth. His eyes flick lazily down again. “Also, hate to break it to you, but your bra’s doing a lot of heavy lifting right now.”
You scoff. “You’re actually such a freak.” He shrugs, tilting the water bottle in his hand toward you. “Not denying it.” You’re about to roll your eyes and walk away, but then he says it—so nonchalantly it barely registers at first.
“You look nice, though.”
You freeze mid-step.
“
What?”
His mouth quirks up slightly, like he didn’t just toss a grenade into the conversation. “You heard me.” 
You stare at him, trying to gauge if he’s mocking you. But there’s no smug grin, no teasing lilt. Just that lazy drawl, that unreadable expression that always keeps you guessing. You fold your arms, shifting your weight to one hip. “Well,” you say slowly, “clearly you don’t know what to do when I’m not wearing my usual two layers of oversized fabric.”
Sukuna snorts. “Thought you were gonna roll up in your campus hoodie again. Kind of a shame, actually. I miss how it swallowed your whole body. You looked like a walking laundry pile.”
“Wow,” you deadpan. “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
“I try.”
You take a slow sip from your drink, hiding the small grin tugging at your lips. “So this is what you’re like when you’re not being the biggest dick on the planet.”
“I’m not the biggest dick, although I’d say I have the biggest dick” he retorts with a snicker. “You’re just distracting now.”
You blink. “Distracting?”
He shrugs again, way too casual about the whole thing. “You look good. I’m not blind.” You glance around to make sure no one’s listening, then mutter, “You’re way more tolerable when there’s alcohol involved.”
“Yeah?” He raises an eyebrow. “You’re way more tolerable when you’re not scowling at me for breathing too loud.” You glare. “That happened once.”
“It happened twice.”
“Once,” you insist.
He just smirks and takes a sip from the water bottle in his hands. His gaze flicks past you, toward the hallway, and he jerks his chin slightly. “Come on. I’ll introduce you to some people who won’t talk about your bra.” You narrow your eyes. “Is that your idea of an apology?”
He smirks again, already walking off. “Take it or leave it.” You roll your eyes and follow—only because your drink’s almost empty and the kitchen’s in that direction anyway. Obviously. And maybe—just maybe—because being around him like this, when he’s not being a complete jackass, isn’t the worst thing in the world. At least not tonight. Sukuna leads you through the crowd like he’s done this a million times before—which he probably has. You catch a couple of people eyeing him as he walks by, and you wonder if it’s because he’s hot or because he radiates that unapproachable energy like it’s cologne.
“This is
?” someone asks when you both approach a small group gathered around a tall keg table. He jerks a thumb toward you lazily. “My chem partner.” You resist the urge to roll your eyes at the title. “Hi,” you say instead, a little wave as you flash a quick grin.
“Yo, you’re in Shimizu’s class too? That woman’s a menace.”
“Tell me about it,” you groan. “I swear she adds extra steps to procedures just for fun.” Someone laughs. “You actually talk to her? I just fake nod through half of her lectures.” You slip into conversation easily after that, bouncing off the group's energy. You’ve always been extroverted when you’re comfortable, and it’s oddly easy here, surrounded by strangers who are just buzzed enough to be nice. It’s even easier when you catch Sukuna watching the group banter from a short distance, sipping from his water bottle again, his expression unreadable.  You break away to get another drink, winding toward the makeshift bar on the patio. The music's loud, the air sticky with alcohol and cologne, and just as you reach for a clean cup, a shoulder brushes into yours.
“Shit—”
You turn, and there he is again. Ryomen Sukuna. Up close this time. “Jesus, what is your problem?” you mutter, looking up at him. “Do you teleport?” He looks unfazed. “You walked into me.”
You snort. “You walked into me.”
He doesn’t argue. Just leans slightly back and lets his eyes flick down, over your outfit, and—yep. Not subtle. Not even trying to be. Your eyes narrow. 
“You’re such a creep. I don’t care if I’m slightly drunk, I can definitely tell you’re staring at my boobs.” He scoffs, openly amused. “Well, sorry. I’m a man. And those are practically fighting for their lives in that top.” You gasp, smacking his arm. “You’re disgusting.”
He shrugs. “And you’re the one who wore it. Don’t act surprised people are looking.” You roll your eyes but the corner of your mouth twitches. “Whatever. At least I can pull it off.”
“Who said you couldn’t?”
You pause for half a second too long. Then you glare. “You’re pissing me off.”
“And you’re drunk,” he retorts, smirking.
“I’m not drunk yet. You’d know if I was drunk.”
“Oh?” He raises a brow. “What, do you start crying or something?”
“No,” you scoff. “I just get
 more honest.”
“Terrifying.” You give him a sweet smile that’s anything but. “What, afraid I’ll hurt your little ego?” He looks down at you—really looks. Like he's taking in the pink flush in your cheeks, the glint in your eye, the way you don't back down even when he’s standing so damn close.
“Nah,” he says. “My ego’s huge.”
You blink. “...That’s not as reassuring as you think it is.”
He laughs, low and dry, then tilts his bottle at you in mock cheers before walking off again. You stand there for a moment, a little dazed, before grabbing another drink. Eventually, a while later, you find your way back to Yuna, who’s already three sips away from shouting compliments at strangers. She gasps when she sees you. “Babe. Baby girl. My precious. Did I just see you with Sukuna?”
You blink. “Yeah, why?”
“You know him?”
“We’re in the same chem class,” you mutter, sipping your drink. “Group project.” Yuna grabs your arm. “And you didn’t say anything?” You eye her suspiciously. “Say what?”
“That he’s literally the hottest man on this campus?!” You make a face. “He’s not that hot.” Yuna gives you a look like she’s been personally offended. “You’re lying to yourself. Also, you two have like, that weird tension. It’s kind of hot.”
You groan. “Yuna—”
“Just fuck him.”
“What is wrong with you?”
She only cackles in response before she gets whisked away by a guy who’s clearly her on-again-off-again situationship. She doesn’t even look guilty as she leans in to whisper something to him. A few minutes later, you get the text.
sorry i love u but i’m gonna go with him ok i’ll send u money for an uber ily don’t die xx
You stare at the message, swaying slightly on your stool. The room blurs a little when you blink. You swipe over to the Uber app. Try to log in. Error. Try again. Error. The third time your phone crashes entirely and you groan, bracing your elbow on the edge of the bar counter and burying your face in your hand. Your heels are starting to hurt and you can already feel tomorrow’s hangover tap dancing in your brain.
“You good?”
You lift your head slowly. And of course. Of course. It’s Sukuna again. Leaning one arm against the edge of the bar like he’s been summoned by your suffering. “You’re like a cockroach,” you mutter. “You just keep showing up.”
He grins lazily. “Still here?”
“Yeah, unfortunately. My friend ditched me and my Uber app’s being a little bitch.” He hums, gaze flicking over your glazed expression, your flushed cheeks. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”
“I might,” you admit. “If I don’t cry first.” 
There’s a beat of silence before he says, “I’ll drop you off.” You blink. “What? No. You’ve been drinking.”
“I haven’t. Can’t have everyone in the frat house drunk. Someone’s gotta babysit these idiots.” You blink again, the lag in your brain buffering like bad Wi-Fi. “...You?”
“Yeah, me. Shocking.”
“You know where I live?”
“You told me. Last week. After lab.”
You squint at him. “I don’t remember that.”
“Yeah, well, I remember everything.”
“Ew.”
He just stares at you, expectant, one brow cocked like he’s got all the time in the world.
You exhale dramatically. “Fine. But if you kill me I’m haunting your frat house.”
“I welcome it. It’s been boring lately.”
“Freak.” 
He smirks and plucks your phone straight from your hands to toss it into your purse, ignoring the half-hearted slap you aim at his wrist.
“Come on.” You groan, dragging yourself off the barstool, your legs not cooperating in the slightest. Your heels were cute in theory—silver with a tiny bow on the back and barely any support. Very much not made for trudging across dark college lawns and cracked sidewalks. You follow him out, still kind of mad at the universe for letting your Uber app crash. He opens the door like it's nothing, like he’s a gentleman or something—gross—and the cold night air wraps around your skin instantly. As it does, you swear you hear him mutter something. You turn, squinting through the haze. “What?”
“Nothing.” But it wasn’t nothing. It was something. And you're drunk, but not that drunk. It sounded suspiciously like you look pretty tonight. But you don’t say anything, just frown and follow him out into the night. Until you realize he’s not heading toward the street. He’s heading toward the back lot. Behind the frat house. 
You pause. “Wait—where the hell is your car?”
“Other side,” he says, without slowing.
“What do you mean other side?”
“I live here, dumbass. The resident lot is across the quad.”
“Are you kidding me?” You groan. “My feet are going to fall off.”
“Shouldn’t’ve worn stripper heels.”
“Shouldn’t’ve been born with a stick up your ass.” He snorts, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his hoodie as he walks ahead of you, like he's not dealing with a barely coherent girl in a miniskirt and heels struggling to walk in a straight line. You try to keep up, but the lawn dips, uneven and soft, and your ankle rolls slightly to the side. Your foot catches. Your knee gives out. And suddenly you’re stumbling, arms flailing, balance gone—You land hard on your ass with a sharp oof.
“FUCK,” you hiss, grabbing your ankle, already feeling the sting. You stay there a second, stewing, overwhelmed and overstimulated—the lights from the party still flickering behind your eyelids, your chest heaving from the sudden jolt, your mouth dry and head spinning. “You good?” Sukuna’s voice comes from somewhere above you, way too calm for someone whose lab partner just ate shit in front of him. “No, I’m not fucking good,” you snap, scowling up at him. “My feet are bleeding, my brain is melting, and your car is apparently in Narnia.”
“You’re so dramatic.”
“You’re such a dick!”
“Jesus Christ,” he mutters, suddenly stepping closer. “Just—fuck it.” You barely register him moving before there’s a sudden shift in gravity and your world tips sideways.
He scoops you up like it’s nothing.
Bridal style.
Your arms instinctively hook around his neck as you squeak, instinctively clinging to his hoodie as your legs leave the ground. “What the fuck are you doing?!” you yell, even though your voice comes out way too breathless to be convincing.
“Carrying you. Because you’re useless.”
“Put me down!”
“No.”
Your mouth opens to protest again, but your brain short-circuits because—
His hand. One of them—large, warm, calloused—is curled under your thighs, gripping firmly but not rough, fingers splayed slightly against the bare skin between your skirt and where your panties ride up your ass. But it’s the other hand that breaks your brain. It’s pressed right beneath your chest, right where the thin fabric of your top clings to your ribs. His knuckles graze the underside of your boob with each step. Not on purpose. Probably. Hopefully. But your body registers every tiny movement, every bounce and shift. Your breath stutters, nipples tightening under the lace, and—
God, you need to shut your brain off. He smells like expensive cologne and weed and something darker—musk and leather and sweat. The hoodie under your palm is worn soft, like he's had it for years, and his chest is so warm against your arm it’s making you feel dizzy. You go quiet. Not because you want to, but because your mouth won’t work right. He notices. “What, no snarky comment? Are you dying?”
“Just
 conserving energy,” you mumble, trying to ignore the way your head is now resting against his shoulder, half from exhaustion, half because it feels nice there. 
“Shame. I was enjoying the sound of you bitching.” He makes it to his car—a black ‘09 Civic parked in the furthest back row—and sets you down gently, like you're glass. Which somehow feels even more ridiculous than being carried. You try to get your balance again, but before you can even reach down, he crouches and grabs your ankle.
“Hey—what are you—”
He’s already unbuckling your heel. “Your feet are bleeding,” he mutters, slipping it off carefully. Then the other. “Why are girls like this?”
“Because we suffer for fashion,” you reply, watching as he sets them neatly in the footwell of the passenger side. “Idiots,” he mutters, straightening and helping you into the seat. The door is still open as he leans in and buckles you up, the seatbelt snapping into place just under your chest.
“Don’t look at my tits,” you mumble, half-asleep, half-defensive.
“I’m not looking.”
“You are. You’ve been staring all night, you absolute perv. I might be drunk but I’m not blind.” He sighs, shuts the door, walks around to the driver’s side, and slides in beside you. The car’s interior is cool and clean and smells like the same cologne that’s still clinging to him. Once the engine’s on and the headlights glow, he glances over at you.
“Sorry I’m a man. My bad.”
“You are bad. And that’s not an excuse.”
“And yet here you are,” he drawls, pulling out of the lot, his hand casual on the wheel, the other resting lazily on the gear shift. His thighs spread slightly as he adjusts, and you don’t mean to look but—
Yeah. No. You’re drunk. Because there’s no way you’re checking out his hands or his stupid muscular legs or the way his jaw clenches every time he shifts gears. Absolutely no way. You fold your arms and press your forehead against the window, trying to cool your cheeks down, but it doesn’t work. The drive is short. He doesn’t play music. Just lets the silence sit, and somehow it’s not awkward. Just
 quiet. Kinda warm. When he pulls up in front of your dorm, he doesn’t speak right away. Just sits there for a second. You turn to him slowly. “Thanks
 for not letting me pass out in a bush or get murdered.”
He shrugs. “Would’ve ruined my grade if you died.” 
You scoff. “So romantic.”
A pause. His eyes flick to yours, and his voice drops just a bit.
“You’re welcome.” 
And you don’t know why, but that makes your stomach flip a little. You nod, mumble something incoherent, and go to open the door. But he stops you, reaching across you suddenly to grab your purse from the floor. His arm brushes your chest again and you freeze. He pretends not to notice. But the corner of his mouth twitches. He hands you your bag without a word, and you climb out, the night air immediately biting your skin. As you shut the door and start toward your building, you hear his voice behind you—low, amused, maybe even a little genuine.
“Get home safe, dumbass.”
You turn over your shoulder.
“Night, perv.” Then you're gone. And his car stays parked for a few more seconds than it needs to.
–
It starts slow. Just like always, you two keep meeting up for study sessions, mostly in the same tucked-away campus library room. And technically you’re still working on your project. There's still the usual back-and-forth, the occasional threat of flinging a pen at his head, and your ever-reliable "God, you're so annoying" whenever he pushes too far. But something's changed. Some invisible shift. Like the night of the frat party cracked something open. You still bicker, still throw jabs like it's oxygen, but now—
There’s laughter. Actual laughter. From you. And snickering from him, like he’s low-key delighted when you call him a dickhead with that little smile twitching at the corner of your mouth. Now he leans closer than necessary when you’re reading. His arm brushes yours and he doesn’t move. His eyes linger on your mouth when you talk and when you call him on it, he just shrugs and says, “Sorry, your lip gloss is distracting.” You throw your pen at his forehead. He catches it without looking. You start referring to the group project as our child, and he calls himself the hot absentee father. You start keeping a tally of how many times he sighs dramatically when he doesn't get the answer before you. He keeps a separate one of how many times you chew your pen cap when you’re stressed and says it’s “borderline erotic.”
“I will murder you,” you say sweetly.
"That's what makes it erotic," he replies. But it’s not just that. There’s more. Quieter things. One time, he walks in late with two iced coffees and just drops one in front of you without a word, like it’s normal now. (It becomes normal. He starts bringing snacks too. Sometimes even the weird granola bars you said once in passing that you liked.) When you’re tired, he starts reading sections aloud to you in a voice that's somehow both mocking and comforting. When you're scribbling notes and your pen runs out, he's already tossing you a spare. And eventually—
You exchange numbers.
It’s just for “convenience,” you both claim. So you can update each other on meeting times. So he can send you stupid memes related to your topic. So you can text him "you forgot the rubric again, dumbass" when he shows up with nothing but a Monster and the same black hoodie he’s worn four sessions in a row. You never call each other, of course. Not yet. But the texts get more frequent. More casual. Sometimes you’re not even talking about the project. Sometimes it’s just:
You: tell toji to stop calling me your lil nerd wife Sukuna: don’t flatter urself. he called u my leashYou: even worse?? Sukuna: not to me 😏
And one day, you're the first to arrive. You’re early, even. Kinda excited to see him, which you don't interrogate too hard because you're a busy girl with academic priorities and definitely not thinking about his stupid shoulders lately. So you sit. And wait. Ten minutes pass. Then fifteen. Finally, you send a text.
You: where u at bruh wtf im already here
There’s a delay. Then your phone buzzes. It’s a photo. A mirror selfie. Gym bathroom. Fluorescent lighting. He’s shirtless—no, wait, technically his shirt is in his mouth, bitten between his teeth. His abs are cut like they were designed in a lab. There’s a sheen of sweat on his chest, and the pinkest hint of a happy trail disappearing into black shorts. And god– the tattoos that intricately line his hips, and you’re ashamed that you’re zooming in to see them a bit more clearly. Toji’s in the background throwing up a peace sign and smirking like a menace. And the caption?
Sukuna: gym
You stare at your screen like it personally offended you. Because okay. Fine. You tolerate him now. You maybe even like him a little. Like, as a person. As in, you don’t fantasize about choking him out every time he opens his mouth. That’s progress. But nothing—nothing—could have prepared you for the way your stomach plummets at that photo.
It’s shameful, really. You’re sitting alone in the study room, already annoyed that he’s late, your phone clenched in one hand and your cold coffee sweating on the table. You only texted him out of impatience, fully expecting some lame excuse. And instead, you get that. His abs are right there. Cut. Sharp. Obscene. His happy trail is a faint pink stripe leading down, dusted just enough to make your thighs clench, and you hate yourself for it. Your face heats so fast you think you might spontaneously combust. You look around the room like someone else might have seen it, like that would somehow make this a shared crime and not just your own private downfall. You blink at the photo. Then again. Then you lock your phone. Then unlock it.
You type.
Delete.
Type again.
Backspace halfway. Then finally give in and hit send.
You: keep those freaky selfies to urself bro Sukuna: u sure? u stared at that one a little too long You: YOU CANT SEE ME Sukuna: can feel it tho You: ew Sukuna: ur welcome
You throw your phone face down on the table like it just slapped you. He shows up twenty minutes later. Hair still damp, gym bag slung over one shoulder, hoodie half on, clinging to the edge of his frame like it was trying to slide off. There’s still that smug grin curling on his lips like he knows exactly what he’s doing. You don’t even say hi. You just cross your arms and raise your brows as he strolls in like he owns the place.
“I said keep the thirst traps to yourself, gym rat.”
He collapses into the chair next to you, legs spread way too wide, stretching his arms back behind his head with a low groan like he’s been working so hard—and the motion tugs his hoodie just enough for you to catch a flash of skin. A line of muscle. That stupid V again. “Thirst trap?” he echoes, voice low and lazy. “Nah. That was community service.”
You make a show of rolling your eyes, flipping a page in your notes. “You’re disgusting.” He leans over, chin propped in his hand, eyes glittering with something sharp and amused. “C’mon,” he says, his voice dropping, thick and playful, “you’re telling me you didn’t like it?” You don’t answer. He grins like that’s an answer. Then, slow and deliberate, he leans back again—slouches down in the chair like he owns it, hands behind his head, and lets his hoodie inch up. Not a lot. Just enough. Enough to show the ridges of his abs. The line of his hipbones. The tattoos. The happy trail, pink and soft and infuriating, peeking above the waistband of his shorts like he planned this entire thing. Like this is a setup and you walked into it willingly. “Sure about that?” he murmurs, eyes heavy-lidded and watching you now. You make a strangled sound in your throat and smack a folder in front of your face.
“You are so weird,” you mutter from behind it. He laughs. Real, deep, warm. And you hate the way it makes something loosen in your chest. And it keeps happening—these strange, flirty little moments you don’t know how to explain. He starts texting you just to annoy you. You start sending him selfies of your weird coffee orders with captions like for our child (the project). He calls you baby mama when you least expect it and winks every time you make eye contact. And maybe the worst part?
You start dressing better. Not for him, obviously. That’d be dumb. It’s just
 you’re a girl. Sometimes you want to look cute. Sometimes you want to wear something other than an oversized hoodie and leggings. So you start showing up in cropped tops. In fitted shirts. In actual shorts when it's warm out. Sometimes you even—God forbid—do your hair. Not for him, of course. Except... he notices. You’re bent over your laptop one afternoon when you catch him staring again. Not like he’s trying to be subtle. He leans back in his chair, arms crossed, smirking lazily.
“What?” you say, defensive.
“You look good,” he says, so bluntly it makes you blink. Then, almost offhand: “But I liked when you wore those weird baggy clothes, too.” You snort.  And suddenly the words tumble from your mouth, words you didn’t expect to say at all.
“Yeah? Didn’t you say the project would be easier if I was hot?”
His smirk falters for the first time. He pauses. Then—quietly, sincerely, and in that very Sukuna way—he says, “Yeah, well. I lied about that to piss you off. Obviously.” 
A beat.
“You’re touched in the head if you don’t think you’re hot.” You go quiet. The air goes weird again—thick and strange and soft around the edges. You blink down at your notes, unsure what to say. Then, like it’s nothing, he shrugs. “Also
 sorry. About that. And all the other comments. Shouldn’t’ve said that shit.”
You glance at him. He’s not looking at you. Just fiddling with the ring on his finger like he’s not even sure if he meant to say it out loud. You swallow. Your stomach flips. Something tender and unfamiliar blooms in your chest. Then, because you can’t handle the softness, you bump his foot under the table and mumble, “You’re still annoying.” He grins like he’s won something. You work in silence after that—your legs stretched out, your ankles resting comfortably on his lap. He doesn’t move them. Just shifts to make space. At one point he starts absently tracing circles on your sock with one finger. And you don’t move either. You just let it happen. Because whatever this is—it’s not nothing anymore. It’s weird and slow and unfolding. It’s not sharp like it used to be. It’s soft. It’s warm.
And you don’t know what this thing is. Not yet. But it’s something. It’s teasing and warm and slow and building. It’s softer around the edges now. His glances linger longer. His jokes don’t always have a bite. He starts giving you the better chair. He moves his laptop so you can stretch your legs out and rest your ankles on his lap like it’s no big deal. He taps your water bottle when you forget to drink. He waits for you after class sometimes now. He starts noticing things. When you’re tired. When you’ve skipped lunch. When your leg’s bouncing under the table and you’re clearly spiraling about a deadline. He just reaches over and taps your water bottle. “Drink something. You look like you’re about to combust.”
And one day you realize—
You’re not dressing better because you feel like it. You’re dressing better because something inside you wants him to look at you. Want him to notice. Wants him to sit across from you with his dumb jawline and his pretty mouth and his stupid gaze and look. Like he sees you. And he does. It’s horrifying. And kind of thrilling. You don’t say anything. You just keep showing up. You let your shirts fit a little tighter. Your hair falls a little smoother. You wear that one necklace that always rests right at the tops of your chest. You tell yourself it’s fine. It’s nothing.
–
The last few weeks of the semester come fast and loud. Finals hang heavy in the air, coffee-fueled library sessions and group study chaos around every corner, but somehow, Sukuna still finds a way to plant himself next to you in every single lecture. Literally. He doesn’t even ask anymore—just drops into the seat beside you like it’s his birthright. Kicks his legs out wide under the desk, slumps dramatically back in the seat, leans over with that lazy, smug-ass voice to ask if you did the pre-lecture reading (you did, obviously; he did not, obviously). Sometimes he brings snacks. One time, it was gummy worms. Another time, chips he smuggled in the sleeve of his hoodie like a middle schooler. He offered you one and you made a face but still took it. He grinned. 
Your chem project is basically wrapped up. You’re in editing and final-presentation mode now, which somehow translates to even more time together. Study sessions have blurred into hangouts, your text convos half-project, half weird jokes and chaotic memes. He still calls you names—airhead, goblin, menace—but sometimes his voice gets soft when he does. He still teases you, but the silences in between stretch warm and easy. So when you’re walking out of a bookstore downtown one Saturday afternoon and spot him across the street, it’s almost normal. He’s with Toji and Choso, the three of them leaning against a car like they’re posing for some kind of delinquent calendar. Sukuna clocks you first. His eyes catch on you, and he lifts his hand in a lazy, beckoning wave.
You cross the street.
He smirks. "Didn’t know you had business on this side of town. What, you stalking me now?" You roll your eyes. "Relax. I was running errands. There’s a stationery shop over there that sells the pens I like."
"Nerd," Choso says, but he sounds kind of fond. Toji just nods like, fair. Sukuna tilts his head. "You taking the bus back?"
"Yeah, why?"
"It’s getting dark," he says like it’s a passing observation. Then, in that dry, effortless way: "You look like a perfect kidnapping target. All spaced out and clueless. C’mere, little lamb."
You gape. "Okay well you’re the type of person to be the one doing the kidnapping."
"Uh-huh. Get in. I’ll drive you."
You’re protesting before he even finishes the sentence. But Toji just shrugs, opens the passenger door for you like this is something he’s used to, and Choso’s already climbing into the back. You sigh and slide in, heart pounding for reasons you refuse to name.  The drive starts off easy. After a while, he drops off both Choso and Toji to the gym– where they were apparently headed for an evening grind session. Spending time with these three makes you think that the gym might be their second home besides the frat house where they live. You lean your head against the window, watching the city pass by in a blur of dusk and brake lights. But traffic hits near campus—an accident or something up ahead—and the car slows to a crawl.
You sigh, long and dramatic, throwing your head back against the seat. “Well. Looks like we’re stuck.” Sukuna shoots you a flat look, one hand tapping the wheel while the other lazily rests across his lap. “Incredible deduction, Sherlock. What gave it away? The line of cars stretching into the abyss?”
You flip him off without looking. “I’m putting on music.”
He sits up a little straighter. “Don’t you dare play weird indie-girl shit.” You’re already unlocking your phone, smug. “Too late.” And then it begins—those soft, dreamy guitar chords of She Won’t Go Away, spilling out through the car speakers like a bubble bath in audio form. Sukuna visibly flinches.
“What the fuck is this?” he groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. “This sounds like it belongs in a movie montage of someone getting dumped in the rain.” You grin, curling your legs up into the seat and pressing your temple against the cool glass of the window. “It’s art. It’s emotion. It’s currently the only thing keeping me alive during finals.” 
You’re already humming under your breath, voice quiet but matching the lilt of the lyrics like you’ve done this a hundred times alone in your room. You don’t even notice you’re doing it at first—just this soft, distracted singing, like muscle memory. Like breathing. Sukuna groans again, leaning back against his seat like he’s physically in pain. “Put on Playboi Carti like a normal human being.”
“No,” you reply sweetly, already queuing the song again. “I’m hyper fixated. That means I’m playing it at least three more times.”
“Jesus,” he mutters, but doesn’t reach for the aux. Instead, he leans his head back against the headrest and shuts his eyes, as if surrendering to the inevitable. His tattooed arm is draped lazily along the console between you. The setting sun outside paints soft orange lines across the curve of his throat, the ridges of his knuckles, the cut of his jaw. You glance over. Just for a second. His damp pink hair is curling a little where it rests against his forehead, the collar of his shirt a little stretched from where he tugged it off earlier. His hands are relaxed, but you’ve seen them clenched around a pen, a steering wheel, a can—so often that it’s weird to see them soft like this. 
When the chorus hits again, you can’t help it—you clutch your water bottle like it’s a microphone and sing along, full volume, completely tone-deaf. Your voice cracks on a high note. You don’t care. The car is stuck, the sun is bleeding out across the horizon, and for once your brain is quiet enough to let you just be. Sukuna cracks an eye open to stare at you. There’s an expression hovering on his face—part judgment, part amusement, all exasperated affection. “You’re fucking insane,” he murmurs, but doesn’t tell you to stop. You play the song two more times. The last time, he even taps his fingers on the steering wheel in time with the beat. By the time the traffic thins and he pulls up in front of your dorm, it’s fully dark out. The streets are quiet. A light breeze rustles the trees overhead, and your building glows warm from the windows.
The car idles for a moment. Neither of you moves. You fiddle with your bag strap. “Thanks. For the ride.”  Sukuna shrugs like it’s no big deal, hand still resting casually on the steering wheel. “Didn’t want you to get kidnapped. I’ll be pissed if I have to deal with a new project partner this late in the semester.”
You snort. “So heartwarming. Hallmark should hire you.” But still, your smile softens. You open the door, start to slide out—
“Hey,” his voice cuts in, low. You turn back. He’s watching you, one elbow propped against the window, his mouth tugged into something just barely resembling seriousness.
“You’ve got a nice voice,” he says, slow. “When you sing.”
You blink. Then: “I mean—it’s not good,” he adds quickly, defensive. “Just—nice. Like. You know. Tolerable. Shut the fuck up.” You’re already laughing, your whole face warm, stomach fluttering for a reason that makes you want to scream into your pillow later. You shake your head, half-dizzy, and wave him off.
“Freak.”
He grins. “Obviously.” And then he’s pulling away, the soft glow of his taillights disappearing around the corner as you stand there on the curb, heart doing something you really wish it wouldn’t.
–
The dorm lounge is dark. A sad, crooked little sign is taped to the door, flapping slightly from the draft in the hallway: CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE. You stare at it in disbelief.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” you mutter. Sukuna makes a noise behind you—something between a groan and a sigh that says of course this would happen now.
“We walked all the way here,” you grumble, adjusting your bag on your shoulder. “And East Wing Library’s still under construction as well.” You sigh, then shove your phone back in your pocket. “Whatever. Guess we’re not studying tonight.” Sukuna scratches at his jaw, eyeing you sideways. “We could go to my place.”
You blink. “Excuse me?”
“My frat house,” he clarifies, as if that helps. You squint at him. 
“Yeah, no offense, but the last thing I wanna do is walk into a testosterone-infested lair filled with Axe body spray and half-naked dudes playing Call of Duty.”
Sukuna smirks. “What do you think a frat house is, Animal House?” You raise a brow. “Is it not?”
“It’s
marginally cleaner.”
“Uh-huh.” 
He grins, lazy and wolfish. “What, you scared you’ll get corrupted?”
“Oh please. I’m scared I’ll catch a fungal infection from your couch.”
“Wow.” He mock clutches his chest. “That’s the same couch Toji had sex on junior year.” You wrinkle your nose. “You’re not helping your case.”
–
But you’re already walking beside him as he pulls his keys out of his pocket, smug as ever. The house is surprisingly... not awful. It’s big, for one. Tall windows, wide wraparound porch. Someone’s put effort into decorating the front room—there are actual plants. A couple are plastic, sure, but still. Progress.
“Don’t touch anything,” Sukuna says as he unlocks the door. “You might set off a trap.” You snort and follow him inside. Almost instantly, voices erupt from the kitchen.
“Yo!” someone calls. “Sukuna brought a girl? What the fuck?” You round the corner and find a man with gauges, hair tied back into a bun, leaning back in a chair with his feet propped on the table. Choso’s there too, hair also tied up in a low bun, sipping some horrifying green drink out of a mason jar.
“Holy shit,” Suguru grins, “she real?”
“She’s not my date,” Sukuna says, already annoyed. “She’s my lab partner.”
“Uh-huh, he’s actually not making up bullshit this time, Sugu,” Choso says, nodding solemnly between Sukuna and you. “Suguru, you shoulda seen the way he talks about h–.”
“Shut up, bitch.”
“She’s cute though,” Suguru adds, eyeing you with an arched brow. “You sure this isn’t, like, your redemption arc?”
You just raise a brow. “This what you call hospitality?” Suguru snorts. “She talks back. I like her.”
“Bye,” Sukuna says sharply, grabbing your wrist. “Upstairs. Now.”
You’re still laughing as he drags you past the second floor landing. “Damn. Didn’t know you hadn’t brought anyone home in months.”
“Jesus,” he mutters.
“What’s wrong, celibate king? Losing your edge?” He stops in front of a door, turns to face you with that cocky smirk curling up again. “You wishing I haven’t gotten laid recently?”
You blink at him innocently. “Just surprised you haven’t. With how obsessed you are with yourself.”
“Yeah, well,” he says, pushing the door open, “standards.” You snort.  But his room is
 not what you expected. It’s neat. Cleaner than yours, probably. Dark wooden desk against the wall, books stacked haphazardly but intentionally. An unmade bed with black sheets and a dark grey hoodie tossed over the pillow. There’s a little lamp glowing low in the corner and a record player next to a speaker. You hate how nice it smells in here. You set your bag down on the floor. “Why does it smell like... sage and expensive soap?”
“Because I’m not disgusting?”
“Debatable.” You both settle on the floor, laptops out, papers scattered. He brings over a half-full bag of spicy chips and a water bottle, which he throws at you without looking. It hits you square in the chest.
“Dickhead.”
“You’re welcome.”
The first twenty minutes are actually productive—notes reviewed, graphs tweaked, last-minute slides double-checked. But inevitably, the banter creeps in. His foot nudges yours under the desk. You nudge back. He leans over to steal a gummy from your bag and you slap his hand away.
“Stop stealing my candy.”
“You ate my gummy worms last week.”
“I didn’t steal them. I accepted them.”
“Wow. You’re so full of shit.”
“Eat dirt.” He laughs—low, under his breath—and it shouldn’t affect you the way it does, but it sinks into your skin like heat, lingers in your bloodstream. It’s not the usual cocky bark of a laugh he throws at you when he’s being a menace. This one is quieter. Throatier. Less sharp edges, more velvet. Like he’s amused with you, not at you. It wrecks your focus. He’s leaned back against the edge of his bed now, legs splayed carelessly, one knee bent, the other stretching toward you like it owns the space. His shirt rides up a little at the waist, just enough to flash the hard lines of his stomach, the deep cut of his hipbones disappearing under black sweats. One of his arms hangs lazy over his knee, veins taut beneath inked skin, fingers playing absently with a red pen. And his hair—fuck. It's a mess, falling over his forehead in soft waves, a few strands catching on his lashes when he looks down. You want to brush it back. You want to tug on it.
You shift slightly, trying to re-cross your legs, trying to re-engage your brain with the paper in front of you. But your sweater dips with the movement—a soft, oversized thing you threw on without much thought. It hangs loose over your collarbones, dips just enough to expose a hint of skin and the swell of your chest where the neckline falls low. You feel his gaze before you see it. A flicker—subtle, but deliberate. Your eyes lift slowly. He’s staring.
“You're staring.”
Sukuna doesn’t even flinch. Doesn’t pretend to be caught, doesn’t have the decency to look embarrassed. He just meets your eyes, unashamed, and shrugs one shoulder in a way that’s all smooth arrogance. “Can you blame me?” You snort, but it comes out quieter than intended. Your throat’s a little dry. “You’re gross.”
“Yeah?” He shifts a bit, elbow sliding behind him so he’s leaning fully back now, neck tipped against the wall, gaze still locked on you. “Don’t act like you didn’t wear that on purpose.”
You scoff. “Excuse me?”
He lifts a brow, lazy. “The sweater. The whole off-duty art girl thing. You knew what you were doing.”
“I didn’t,” you protest, but your voice slips a bit, too defensive. “I just
 liked the color.” Sukuna hums like he doesn’t believe you. His eyes stay exactly where they were—lingering, slow, blatantly appreciating. You glare at him. “You're an asshole.”
He grins. “True.” But then, softer. Less teasing. “You look cute.”
It lands differently. The words settle between you like something solid, something heavy. Not a joke. Not just banter. You’re suddenly hyper-aware of everything—how warm it is in the room, how quiet. The hum of the old radiator. The scent of whatever he uses in his laundry detergent—something clean and citrusy and a little intoxicating. You don’t respond. Your heart is thudding against your ribs, a little too loud, a little too fast. He watches you. Waits. Then, finally, you manage: “Stop being weird.” But your voice isn’t sharp anymore. It’s soft. Uncertain. He smirks, but his eyes stay serious. “You love it.”
You roll your eyes, trying to drag your gaze back to your notes, to anything other than the way his gaze is dragging over your skin like a physical touch. You pretend to read, pretend to write, but you feel it—the tension, thick as syrup in the air. He’s close. Closer than before. You can feel the heat of him next to you, the way his thigh shifts slightly, brushing yours. Your eyes lift slowly. He’s already watching you. His expression is unreadable—equal parts amusement and hunger. He’s studying you like he’s memorizing. Like he’s waiting for the exact right moment to pounce.
And then he moves. No warning. No smart remark. Just a slow lean forward, one hand braced near your thigh as he closes the distance—eyes flicking from your lips to your eyes and back again, like he’s giving you a chance to pull away.
You don’t.
And before you know it, his lips are melding against yours. The kiss is slow. Careful. Not tentative, but measured, like he’s savoring the first taste. His lips are soft, warm, coaxing yours open. His hand comes up, rough fingers brushing your jaw before settling lightly at the base of your neck, thumb against your pulse. You inhale sharply when his mouth deepens against yours, tongue sliding over your bottom lip, teasing, asking—and when you give in, he groans, low and satisfied in the back of his throat. The sound goes straight to your stomach. He tastes like cinnamon gum and spice, something dark and smoky underneath. His teeth scrape lightly against your lip and you gasp into him, fingers fisting in the hem of his shirt without even realizing. When he finally pulls back, it’s barely an inch. His breath brushes against your mouth. His eyes are lidded, lashes low, lips parted and slightly swollen. He looks fucking wrecked. And somehow still manages to smirk. “Still think I’m gross?”
You blink at him, dazed. “Yes.” He laughs, that soft velvet-laced one again. You don’t even hesitate this time. You kiss him again—harder, needier, something unspoken unraveling fast between you. Your fingers curl tighter into his shirt, pulling him closer, and he doesn't resist—in fact, he deepens it like he's been waiting for this, like every smartass comment and every prolonged look was just him biding time. His hand drifts, slow, from your jaw to your throat—not pressing, just resting, thumb stroking just under your jawline, grounding you. The contrast of his rough fingers against your softer skin sends heat spiraling straight down your spine. Not just that– The hand on your throat sends a wave of heat right between your legs. Like he’s showing you who’s in control.
He pulls away just slightly, breath ragged, forehead grazing yours. "You kiss like you’ve been thinking about this.” You giggle against his mouth. “What if I have?”
That makes him groan—low, deep in his chest—and then he’s kissing you again, more urgent this time, less slow-burn and more fuck, finally. His hand slides into your hair, cradling the back of your head as he tilts your mouth open wider, tongue sliding against yours with a filthy kind of rhythm. You shift instinctively into his space, knees brushing his thighs, your body angling toward his like gravity made the call for you. His hands trail from the length of your back to your ass, squeezing it in his large, calloused palms. It gets hazy, fast. The taste of him, the weight of his palm as it trails from your throat to the dip of your collarbone, fingers catching on the edge of your sweater. He breaks the kiss just long enough to look down—his hand still on you—and you see the shift in his expression the second he remembers your neckline. He hooks a finger into the v-line of the neckline, exposing the swells of your pretty tits to his hungry gaze.
“See,” he murmurs, voice rough now, barely-there smile curling the corners of his mouth. “You did wear this shit on purpose. Look at the way it just falls down so easily– ‘S like you wanted me to stare at your tits.” You breathe out a laugh—shaky. “You’re so full of yourself.” He ducks his head, mouth grazing your collarbone now, slow and deliberate, hands palming your breasts. “You’re not denying it, though.”
Your response gets swallowed by the way his lips brush the base of your neck, warm and soft, and then he bites—not hard, just enough to make your breath catch. 
“Fuck—Sukuna—”
“Say that again,” he mutters, voice vibrating against your skin. “Say it like that.” You yank at his shirt in response, pulling him closer until he's practically between your legs, notebooks shoved aside and forgotten. He lets you, smiling against your neck, one hand situated on your breast, the other settling on your thigh now, fingers pressing just enough through the fabric of your leggings that it sends your heart into a tailspin.
“You’re—I don’t even like you like that,” you breathe, even as your hips shift slightly forward, even as your body clearly wants him, your heat pressed directly on the very evident bulge in his sweatpants. He drags his mouth back up to yours. “So stop kissing me.” You kiss him harder.
His hand slides up your thigh, slow but sure, fingers skating over your hip, his palm pressing warm through the fabric. You gasp into his mouth when his thumb brushes just below your waistband, teasing, testing. Still not rushing. Sukuna’s the kind of guy who knows exactly how to draw something out until it burns. His kiss slows again—like he’s dialing it back, testing your limits. “Tell me to stop,” he says, voice lower than you’ve ever heard it. “If you want me to.” You shake your head before the words even leave his mouth. 
“Don’t.” He exhales, almost like relief. “Good.”
Because now his fingers are slipping under your sweater, not even pretending to be shy, tracing the warm skin of your stomach, the skin above your waistband. When he feels the way your breath stutters, he pauses—lifts his head to look at you.
“You good?” His voice is soft. Different. You nod, swallowing. “Yeah. I’m good.” His lips twitch like he’s amused with how breathless you sound, but he doesn’t say anything cocky this time. He just kisses you again, slower now, more methodical, hands exploring like he’s cataloguing every inch of you. You’re vaguely aware that you're still in his room, that the door’s closed but the walls are thin, that you’re half-on, half-off his bed surrounded by a mess of notes and highlighters and open laptops. And none of that matters. Because the way he’s looking at you now—eyes dark, mouth kiss-swollen, hair a mess from your fingers—it’s not just heat. It’s hunger. Craving. Like he’s been waiting for this since the day he sat next to you in chem lab with that annoying smirk.
And now that he has you? He’s going to take his time. You're not sure when studying officially got left behind. Somewhere between the first kiss and the way his hands slid under your sweater, books became background noise. The project became irrelevant. Now, he’s laying you back on his bed—slowly, carefully, like he’s trying not to make you overthink it. The room is dim, golden light spilling in from the desk lamp. Your legs are tangled with his, your sweater halfway off your shoulder, and he’s hovering over you, kissing you like it’s something he needs to do, like he’s been trying not to all semester and finally gave up. You feel his hand slide under your sweater again, this time pushing it up your ribs, warm palm skating over your skin like he’s memorizing it. He doesn’t even rush—he just looks down at you like you’re something to unravel, slowly.
“You sure?” he says again, quieter this time. His thumb brushes just under your bra, like he’s offering you a way out, even now. You nod, heart stuttering. “Yeah.” That’s all it takes. Because after that, Sukuna moves like a switch flips. His hands are suddenly everywhere—sliding your sweater off completely, tossing it somewhere behind him, and then he’s kissing you again, this time lower, trailing his mouth down your neck, down the line of your collarbone, licking into the dip between your breasts like he’s been thinking about doing it forever. 
His hand tugs off your bra roughly, making you squeak– you’re not sure if it’s from the surprise from having the material ripped off of you so roughly, or the fact his long fingers are pinching at your nipples. He takes one in his mouth, sucking and rolling the sensitive bud around, before doing the same to the other one. With each action, you feel yourself getting wetter and wetter, to the point you’re half wishing he’d just take your leggings and panties off, and just get on with it.
“Fuck,” he mutters, half against your skin. “You’re—god, you’re driving me fucking crazy.” He pulls off your nipple with a resounding pop, eyes darkened by the sight of the sheen of his saliva on your breasts. You laugh, breathless. “You’re literally the one climbing on top of me right now.”
He looks up at you, hair falling in his face, mouth wet and swollen. “Yeah, because you look like this. Wearing that stupid little sweater. Coming to my room. Being all—” He cuts himself off with a groan. “You knew what you were doing. You expected me not to do all this?” He punctuates this with a light pinch to your nipple, making you squeal.
“I came here to study!”
“Yeah, and now you’re in my bed. About to get your little pussy wrecked until you can’t walk. Real tragic how that worked out.” You feel yourself heat up– like your entire body aflame at his vulgar words, mouth opening to retort something back at him. He kisses you again before you can reply, this time rougher—his hands slipping under the waistband of your leggings, tugging slow and deliberate. You lift your hips to help him, cheeks flushed as he pulls them down and off in one fluid motion, leaving you in just your underwear. His eyes darken.
“Jesus,” he mutters. “You’re unreal. And wet. Fuck, I can practically see your pussy because of how wet you are.” 
You reach for the hem of his shirt, tugging it up. “Take this off. It's unfair I’m the only one half-naked.” 
He grins—sharp, pleased—and yanks it over his head in one smooth move. Suddenly you’re staring at the body that you’ve been unconsciously (consciously) staring at everytime he wears something even slightly form fitted. Defined, lean muscle, broad chest, ink curling along his side. Do you even need to mention the pink smattering of hair below his navel? It makes your thighs clench uncomfortably, making your eyes darken. He catches your look and smirks. “Like what you see, huh?”
“Shut up and get back here.” And he does. He presses his body flush against yours, warm and solid, one hand braced beside your head, the other cupping your waist. You can feel how hard he is through his sweatpants now, the heat of it making your breath catch. His hand trails down, teasing the edge of your underwear. “Still good?” You nod, hips shifting toward him. “Sukuna, please.” He growls, soft and low in his throat, and hooks his fingers into the waistband, tugging them down. He kisses your neck as he does it, slow and hot, and you shudder. He gets them off and then leans back, just for a second, to look at you spread out in his bed, wet and inviting. His eyes are practically black now, jaw tight like he’s holding something back.
“Holy fuck,” he mutters. “You’re actually gonna kill me.” You tug at the waistband of his sweats. “Then die faster.” He laughs, breathless, and strips them off, boxers too. Holy fuck. It’s impressive. Thick and girthy, leaking from the pink tip. You try not to stare—try being the operative word—and he notices.
“Cute,” he says, climbing back over you. “You’ve been a nuisance to me all semester and now you’re blushing over my dick?”
“You’re literally about to be inside me. Give me a break.” That shuts him up real quick. He leans in, kisses you slow, hand sliding between your thighs. He teases you with his fingers first, dipping the long digits in and out of your wetness, making sure you’re ready, whispering things against your neck—“You’re so wet already,” and “Fuck, this tight for me?”—until you’re shaking, seeing stars just from two, thick fingers of his, clinging to his muscled arms. Once he’s deemed that you’re pleasantly even more wet than you were pre-orgasm, he strokes his shaft, the tip pink and angry as he stares with a half lidded gaze at the glistening area between your legs.
And then he’s there, lined up, pushing in slow. You gasp at the stretch, the pressure, your hands grabbing onto his biceps as he sinks into you inch by inch. “God,” he grits out, forehead pressed against yours. “You feel—fuck—you feel insane. Oh my– Shit, I’m never letting this pussy outta my sight.” You can’t speak. You just hold onto him, breathing through it, until he’s all the way in and stills. Gives you a second. Kisses you again. When you finally nod, his hips start to move—slow, deep strokes that make your whole body arch into him. It’s hot and messy and intense, but there’s something else in it too—something careful. He watches you like he wants to memorize every expression you make, every sound you let out.
It builds fast—frustration and release and months of tension finally cracking open. His name falls from your lips more than once, and he groans each time like it’s doing something to him.
“S-Sukuna—fuck—I’m—”
“I got you,” he mutters, kissing your shoulder. “I got you. Come on, baby. Make a mess on my dick. Yeah, mhm. Fuck.” And when you come, it hits like a wave—sharp and overwhelming, your whole body curling into him, his name leaving your mouth in breathy moans. He follows not long after, hips stuttering as he barely manages to pull out, his warm seed splattering on your stomach, head buried in your neck, cursing softly against your skin. He kisses you briefly, heading quickly to his bathroom to grab a warm washcloth to wipe your stomach clean, tossing the balled up cloth into the hamper in some corner of the room.
Afterward, there’s just heavy breathing and tangled limbs. His hand finds yours under the sheets, fingers interlacing. You’re the first to speak, voice still shaky.  “That was–That was not studying.”
Sukuna laughs—hoarse, wrecked. “Yeah, no shit.” You glance at him. “So
 do we pick the project back up tomorrow?” He rolls over, smirking at the ceiling. “Maybe if you let me come inside next time.” You throw a pillow at his face. He catches it without flinching. “Worth it.”
And you laugh, falling back into the sheets beside him, skin still buzzing, body still flushed. For once, everything’s quiet.
–
You stretch, groaning into the pillow, body aching in a way that’s half delicious and half criminal. Your thighs hurt. Your back hurts. Your soul might hurt a little. From across the room, you hear the sound of Sukuna's shower turning on. “No,” you croak, face still buried in the pillow. “I am not moving. I live here now. This is my bed.”
“You’re literally lying on my hoodie.”
“Then it’s mine now too.” 
He snorts. “Get your ass up. We should shower before everyone in the frat wakes up and thinks I killed someone in here.” You peek out with one eye. “You can go first.”
“I wasn’t offering,” he says, walking out of the bathroom with just a towel slung low around his hips. Drops of water are still clinging to his chest, and the tattoos on his ribs look somehow worse in the daylight. In the best way. “Come on.” You blink at him. “You want to shower
 together?”
He raises a brow. “Yeah?”
“No.” He squints. “Why not?”
“That’s intimate.”
He stares. “My dick was inside you last night.” You wave a hand. “That’s physical. This is emotional.” He laughs—actually laughs—and crosses the room in two strides. “You're such a weirdo.”
“I’m serious! Showering together is, like, emotionally naked. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s so vulnerable. That’s like
 domestic. That’s, like, soft.”
He rolls his eyes, completely unfazed. “You’re such a freak.” Then, before you can protest further, he grabs you—still very naked, still very sore—and throws you over his shoulder like a caveman. His hand slaps across your ass lightly, snickering to himself.
“SUKUNA—”
“I’m not listening to you spiral about emotional nudity,” he says, totally calm, carrying you into the bathroom like you weigh nothing. “You moaned my name like a porn star last night. You can handle a shower.”
“I can’t walk!”
“Which is why I’m being a gentleman and carrying you.”
“You are the opposite of a gentleman.” He kicks the bathroom door shut behind him and sets you down on the edge of the counter. Steam curls around both of you, hot and fragrant—his shampoo smells stupidly good, which is somehow infuriating.
You stare at the water, then at him. “This doesn’t mean anything.”
Sukuna grins, dimples flashing. “Obviously.” You roll your eyes, but your stomach flips a little anyway. The second you step under the spray, your muscles sigh. Hot water hits your back, and you slump forward with a sound that’s halfway between a groan and a prayer. Sukuna slides in behind you, and his hands immediately land on your hips, holding you steady like he knew you were about to collapse.
“I told you I couldn’t stand,” you mumble, leaning back against his chest.
“I didn’t realize you meant it literally,” he says, smirking into the curve of your neck. “You should work on your stamina.”
“You should get bent.”
“Hm, I think I bent you. Very successfully, actually.”
You try to elbow him, but he catches your wrist easily, still grinning. “Want me to wash your hair?” You eye him warily. “What are you gonna do? Douse me in Axe body wash?”
“Hey. That’s slander.” He grabs a bottle from the ledge and starts working it into your scalp before you can protest. His hands are warm, gentle, and surprisingly careful. He’s quiet for a second, and so are you. Then he murmurs, “You smell good.”
“It’s your shampoo. That’s like self cest. You’re saying I only smell good because I smell like you?”
“Yeah, but now it’s on you. It’s different. Not self cest. You just
 Shut up and lemme wash your hair.” You glance up, heart doing something stupid in your chest. “You’re being weird again.”
“Yeah?” He ducks down slightly, voice lower now, breath ghosting against your ear. “And what if I said I like being weird with you?” You freeze. Then you shove a palm into his chest. “Shut up. That’s so corny.” He laughs, but his grip on your waist doesn’t falter. You stay under the water a little longer, letting the heat and his hands and the way his chest feels against your back melt the rest of the tension out of you. When he reaches for the soap again, you catch his wrist. “Do not start anything. I physically can’t take another round.” Sukuna leans in, kisses the side of your jaw with a smirk. “Don’t worry, baby doll. I’ll be good.” He’s not. Safe to say you ended up begging for it too.
–
The hallway’s cold. Way colder than your dignity can handle when you’re limping barefoot behind a shirtless Sukuna in his frat house, wearing his hoodie and a pair of his shorts that might as well be pants. Your hair’s damp, your thighs are wrecked, and your pride? That’s somewhere on the floor of his room with your underwear.
“You didn’t have to break me in half,” you mutter under your breath, wincing with each step. Sukuna snorts, completely unbothered. “You seemed fine last night. And in the shower.”
“I was faking it.”
He glances over his shoulder, smug. “You were screaming.”
“Faking it loudly, then,” you snap. He just chuckles, steps into the kitchen like he’s not Satan incarnate. Toji’s already there—standing shirtless in front of the stove, flipping protein pancakes in a pan that looks like it’s seen war. He glances up the moment you hobble in behind Sukuna, eyes trailing from your flushed face to the unmistakable fact that you are wearing Sukuna’s hoodie and walking like you’ve been in a car crash.
Toji freezes. Then grins. Slow. Evil.
“Oh shit.”
You want to die. You want the linoleum floor to open up and swallow you whole. You press the sleeves of Sukuna’s hoodie over your face. “I knew I heard something last night,” Toji says, flipping a pancake like this is the best morning of his life. “Told Choso it wasn’t the pipes. That’s gotta be why he slept on the couch.”
“I hate this house,” you mumble. Sukuna yawns. “Shut the fuck up, Toji.” Toji just cackles. “She’s limping, bro. You broke her.” Your head snaps up. “Shut up! Don’t say it like that—”
“Toji,” Sukuna says again, voice dropping low now. “If you say one more thing, I’m banning you from ever speaking in the kitchen again.” Toji raises both hands, innocent. “Damn. Y’all are sensitive this morning.” Sukuna grabs a water bottle off the counter and throws it—nails Toji square in the chest. Water explodes. Toji wheezes laughing.
“I’m putting a ban on the entire house,” Sukuna mutters, turning toward the hallway. “Nobody comes out of their fucking rooms for the next twelve hours.”  Toji wipes water off his chest with a paper towel. “That’s not how a frat works.”
“It is now.” 
You, meanwhile, are dying silently in the corner of the kitchen, gripping the counter for dear life like Bambi on ice. Your legs genuinely might give out. You pull the hoodie lower and try to disappear into it. Toji eyes you, smirking. “You want a protein pancake, champ? You’ve earned it.”
“I swear to God—”
Sukuna slams a mug down on the counter. “TOJI.”
“Okay, okay! Damn. Sensitive and possessive.”
Sukuna grabs two mugs, fills them with coffee, then turns to you like nothing happened. “C’mere.” You shuffle over, still avoiding eye contact with the man who just witnessed your walk of shame, and accept the mug gratefully. Your fingers brush Sukuna’s as you take it, and he glances at you. That look again. The one that’s always a little cocky, a little smug. But softer now. Like he hasn’t quite recovered either. You sip the coffee to avoid saying something dumb.
Toji, of course, ruins the moment by smacking the spatula on the counter. “So when’s the wedding?” Sukuna chucks a pancake at him. And despite the embarrassment, despite the ache in your thighs and the fact that your ego might never recover
 when Sukuna leans against the counter next to you, shoulder brushing yours, and murmurs, “Still think showering’s more intimate than sex?”—you don’t argue. You just bump his hip with yours and whisper, “Next time, you’re the one limping.” He barks out a laugh at that, looking down at you.
“You sound like you’re gonna peg me.”
“Keep embarrassing me like this and I might just peg you.”
–
It keeps happening. Somehow, even after you swore you weren’t gonna end up tangled with a smug frat boy who wears rings like armor and calls you “menace” every time you breathe wrong—here you are. The project is basically done, but that doesn’t change much. You still see each other constantly, like it’s built into your week now. Study sessions, late-night editing, grabbing food on the way back from the library. He still comes over unannounced and flops onto your bed like it’s his, still kicks his shoes off and demands snacks and calls you bossy for forcing him to fix his citations.
And okay, yeah. You keep hooking up. It’s not even subtle anymore. Sometimes he’ll press you into your mattress before your laptop’s even warmed up, muttering something like “five minutes” that always turns into an hour. You fall asleep tangled in his limbs more often than you’d like to admit, his hand wrapped around your waist like it belongs there. And it’s not just sex—it’s everything. The way he orders your coffee without asking. The way he instinctively tilts his head down when you talk so he hears every word. The way he looks at you, like he’s memorizing you. Toji and Choso have basically stopped pretending it’s casual. Every time you come over to the frat house, someone whistles or yells, “Yo, Sukuna’s girl’s here!” 
You always roll your eyes, but your cheeks warm anyway. Sukuna usually throws a middle finger over his shoulder and drags you inside like he doesn’t care—but you’ve caught the smirk on his face more than once. But then. One Wednesday, you walk into class a couple minutes late. You’re digging for a pen in your bag, not paying attention, until you hear it—his laugh. You glance up. He’s already in your usual seat. But he’s not alone. There’s a girl next to him—cute, brunette, sparkly earrings. Laughing with her hand on his arm like they’re in the middle of a joke. And Sukuna? He’s laughing too. That low, easy laugh he uses when he’s genuinely amused. His whole body turned toward her. His eyes crinkled at the corners. Familiar.
Too familiar. It shouldn’t matter. He’s not your boyfriend. You never asked him to be. But something curdles in your stomach, this horrible bitter twist of heat and nausea. Because he’s never laughed like that with anyone else—not that you’ve seen. That was yours. You sit on the other side of the lecture hall. You don’t text him back that night. Or the next. You’re not cold. Just
 distant. Muted. Detached. You don’t flirt. You don’t roll your eyes when he calls you names. You don’t even rise to the bait when he eats the last of your chips and says, “You snooze, you lose.” You just nod, distracted. Quiet. The first time he tries to pull you into his lap during a break, you shrug him off.
The third time it happens, he snaps. “The fuck is going on with you?” You glance up from your notebook, eyebrows raised. “Nothing.”
“Bullshit,” he says, jaw tense. “You’ve been acting weird all week.” You look at him flatly. “I’ve been busy.”
“With what? Avoiding me?” The words hang heavy in the air. He stares at you across the room, breathing hard, the project open on your laptop but completely forgotten. Your throat is tight.
“Forget it,” you mutter, pushing back your chair. He grabs your wrist. Not hard. Just enough to make you stop.
“Tell me what’s wrong.” You inhale, shaky. “I saw you. In class. With that girl.”
His expression shifts, confusion tightening into something sharper. “What girl?”
“The one you were laughing with,” you say, voice brittle. “It’s not a big deal. I just—forgot who you are, I guess. You can talk to whoever you want.” He stares at you. Like he doesn’t know whether to scream or laugh. “Are you serious right now?”
You rip your arm from his grip. “Yeah, actually.”
“That was my cousin, you idiot.” You freeze. “What?”
“My cousin. From Osaka. She was visiting campus and sat in for class,” he says, exasperated. “Jesus, you thought I was flirting?”
“You were laughing with her!”
“I laugh with you more than anyone! Does that mean I’m flirting with you too?”
“Yes!” you blurt, and then immediately regret it. His eyes narrow. “So you do see it.” You open your mouth. Close it. Your face burns. He steps forward, close enough to make your pulse jump. “You’re jealous.” You look away. “No, I’m—”
He cuts you off. “You are. And you know what? Good. ’Cause I’ve been going fucking insane pretending we’re just study buddies who coincidentally spend every second together and coincidentally fuck and coincidentally sleep in the same bed, but can’t call each other anything real.” You stare at him, breathless.
“I like you,” he says, low and hoarse. “I like you so much it’s driving me nuts. And if you don’t feel the same—fine. But don’t act like I haven’t been making it obvious.” You swallow hard. “You have a fucked-up way of showing it.”
He snorts. “You’re one to talk. Giving me the silent treatment because I laughed once?”
“You laughed like you do with me,” you whisper. “That’s what hurt.”
Something flickers in his expression—something soft and real. He cups your jaw.
“I only laugh like that with you,” he says, voice thick. “I only want to laugh like that with you.” Your heart stumbles. “Now shut up,” he mutters, “so I can kiss you.” You do. And he does—hard, hungry, like he’s been waiting for years. Hands are in your hair, yours are on his shoulders, and everything finally clicks into place. When you pull back, flushed and breathless, he grins. “Well. You’re my girlfriend now.” You blink. “That’s not romantic at all.” He kisses your cheek. “Didn’t say it was. But it’s the truth.” You shove his chest. “You suck.” He just grins harder, tugging you back in. “Not what you were saying last week. In fact, you were sucking it.” You groan. But you don’t argue. Because yeah—you’re his now. And he's yours. Officially.
–
Sukuna’s room is warmer than usual. The window’s cracked, the scent of pine air freshener battling the distinct smell of boy—clean laundry, leftover cologne, something vaguely woodsy. You’re cross-legged on his bed, surrounded by notebooks and crumpled printouts, while he’s sitting in his desk chair with one foot up on the edge, tapping away at the final slides of your presentation. Toji passed by the door earlier and shouted, “Yo, project couple!” before Sukuna flipped him off and slammed the door shut with his heel. You’re both halfway through your second coffees, the last dregs sloshing around your cups. The project’s done for real now—just tweaks now. Alignment stuff. Graph polish. The usual shit that seems small until it’s 2 a.m. and your brain starts melting.
“You typed ‘photochemistray,’” you murmur, leaning forward to peer at his screen. He doesn’t even look up. “No I didn’t.”
“Yes you did.”
“I don’t make typos.” You snort. “You make so many typos.”
“I make sexy typos.”
“‘Photochemistray’ sounds like a bootleg brand of nerd lingerie.” He finally glances over, one brow raised. “You say that like it’s not a market I could corner.”
You throw a pillow at him. He laughs, full and low and so familiar it warms your stomach. That sound’s become muscle memory at this point. Embedded into your damn soul. The moment settles. Quiet for a beat. His keyboard clacks, and you start flipping through your notes, eyes skimming blankly. Then, out of nowhere, your voice slips into the silence. “Y’know
 we’ve technically talked before this semester.” 
He glances up. “What?”
“Like, you and me. Before we got partnered.” He blinks. “When?” You hesitate. “That freshman welcome thing. In the orientation lecture hall. They made people from different majors introduce themselves. I stood up and said something about being interested in environmental science.” He frowns, clearly digging through his brain.
“And I stuttered,” you add, dryly. “And you—very loudly—mocked me from the back row.” There’s a beat. His face changes. Just slightly. Jaw tightening.
“Fuck,” he mutters. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. You said something like, ‘Damn. Spit it out, dumbass.’”
He winces. “Shit.” You shrug, trying to brush it off. “I mean, whatever. It wasn’t a big deal.”
“Yeah, it was,” he says immediately, looking at you now with that intense, unreadable stare. “I was an asshole. I didn’t even remember that was you.” You shrug again, but it feels a little thinner this time. “You weren’t wrong. I was stuttering.”
“Doesn’t fucking matter,” he says. “I was a piece of shit. I’m sorry.” The quiet that follows isn’t awkward—it’s just
 charged. The way he says it, that gravel in his voice. The way he’s leaning forward now, elbows on his knees, rings glinting under the dim desk lamp. It does something to you.
“Didn’t think the Ryomen Sukuna apologized,” you say lightly. He lifts a brow. “Only when I mean it.” You nod slowly. Then: “Guess I’m honored.” His eyes narrow—playfully, but there’s heat there now. “You should be.” Your heart skips. You stretch your legs out, feigning boredom. But the hem of your shorts rides up, and his gaze flickers down—lingers. You see the change in his posture. The way his foot drops from the desk, his chair creaking as he shifts.
“I wasn’t gonna say anything,” he says, voice lower now. “But you’ve been sitting there looking like that for the past hour and it’s getting hard to think.” You blink. “Like what?”
He tilts his head, mouth twitching. “All pretty and smug. Like you don’t know exactly what you’re doing to me.” You raise a brow. “I’m literally in a hoodie and gym shorts.”
“And yet,” he says, slowly standing. “Here I am. In physical pain.”
You scoff. “Maybe focus on the final slide instead of your dick.”
“Maybe stop sitting there looking like a fucking sin,” he mutters, now crossing the space between you. You don’t move. You can’t. Your breath is caught somewhere in your chest as he stops right in front of the bed, towering over you, eyes hooded. “Can I?” he asks, voice quieter. Rougher. You nod. The shift is immediate. His hands slide up your thighs, slow and deliberate, as he kneels onto the bed, caging you in. His mouth brushes the shell of your ear as he whispers, “Didn’t like that I hurt your feelings.” 
You swallow. “You didn’t. Not really.”
“I did,” he murmurs, kissing the side of your neck. “And now I’m gonna make it up to you.” Your breath stutters. He pulls back just enough to look at you—his thumb grazing your jaw, eyes dark and locked on yours. “You good?” he asks, tone shifting just slightly—checking in. You nod. “Yeah.”
“Say it.”
“I’m good.”
That’s all it takes. His mouth crashes into yours, all heat and teeth and months of tension bleeding out between your lips. His hand finds your waist, gripping you like he’s been starving. You slide your fingers into his hair, tugging just enough to make him groan. The laptop slides off the bed with a thunk, forgotten. You pull him down with you, and he goes easily, one knee slipping between your thighs, his weight bracing over you. He kisses like he studies—focused, intense, overwhelming. His tongue licks into your mouth and your brain just short-circuits. He looks at you for a long second. Then, suddenly, grabs your waist and pulls you into his lap.
“Also,” he murmurs, breath hot against your neck, “for the record, if I’d known the hot chem girl from freshman year would end up riding me like five times a week, I would’ve introduced myself sooner. And not have been such an asshole to you.” You slap his chest. “That’s your way of apologizing?”
“Yeah, but you like it.” You kiss him to shut him up, and somehow, that turns into another hour of not reviewing the presentation.
–
it’s the final day, and your name’s being called. You head to the front of the class with your laptop while Sukuna follows, looking every bit the cocky, casually dressed bastard he’s always been—except now he’s your cocky, casually dressed bastard. He nods at the front row like he’s about to win a Grammy, and you nudge his ribs. A significant portion of the project requires an overview accompanied with an oral presentation, so here you are.
“Behave.”
“I’m always well-behaved,” he mutters, grabbing the clicker. You start the intro. He takes over halfway through. You can’t help but grin a little—because he’s good. Actually good. Clear, confident, no stuttering, and he even makes Professor Shimizu laugh with a sarcastic quip about the data trend in one of the chemical reactions. And then, without thinking, he leans down and kisses your cheek. Like it’s second nature. The room doesn’t even react that much—probably because no one’s shocked anymore—but when the class ends and people start packing up, Professor Shimizu catches your arm. She grins. “Isn’t that the same boy you were begging me not to pair you with at the start of the semester?”
Your face burns. “We had
a rocky beginning.”
“Mmm,” she says, amused. “Well, you turned it around. Solid work. And the chemistry was palpable.” You groan. “Please don’t say chemistry.” But she’s already walking away, still smiling to herself. After class, Sukuna drives you back to your dorm like always. One hand on the wheel, one resting over your thigh like he doesn’t even notice he’s doing it. Halfway through the drive, he queues something on his phone. And the soft strum of Faye Webster's She Won’t Go Away fills the car. You whip your head toward him. “No fucking way.” 
He doesn’t look at you. “Don’t start.”
“You said this was depression music for people who get dumped in the rain.” He clicks his tongue. 
“Yeah, well. Maybe I like that kinda concept now.” You cover your mouth with a gasp. “You’re evolving.”
“I’m gonna shove you out of this moving car.” 
You’re already singing by the chorus, and even though he groans, you catch him mouthing the words beside you. He tries to act like he’s just being ironic, but his fingers tap the rhythm on your leg, and he keeps the song on repeat the whole ride. By the time he pulls up to your dorm, the sun’s setting. You lean in, eyes soft, smile lazy. “That was kinda romantic,” you murmur. 
He scoffs. “Don’t get used to it.” You kiss him anyway. And when you pull back, he’s watching you with that grin. The one that’s half smug, half stupidly, hopelessly fond. “You know,” he says, “if you weren’t so annoying, I might’ve asked you to be my girlfriend sooner.” You blink. “That was the least romantic thing I’ve ever heard. Like, worse when we had that little argument and you just told me that I was your girlfriend now.”
“Yeah, well.” He shrugs. “You didn’t fall for me because I’m romantic.” 
You narrow your eyes. “Why did I fall for you, actually?”
He leans in close. “Probably the dick.” You shove him away, laughing. “God, you’re disgusting.”
“And yet,” he says, as you open the car door, “you’re still letting me hit. Also, this song, I actually really like it–”
You squint. “Are you saying this to get laid?”
“No,” he mutters. “But if it works, I won’t complain.” You slam the door in his face, but you’re grinning. And he’s still smiling when you look back through the window.
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a/n: i had way too much fun writing this lollll now i need sukuna!!!
also, honourable tag for @writesvani bc of whom i actually had the motivation of writing this because she sent the most beautiful words of support 2 me after whisper of the heart. thank u so much and ily immensely <3
tags: @tracysdemise @perqbeth @fushiguroooozzz @bowlware @yuunice @xxstormyprincessxx @bnbaochauuu @beabamboo @erintaro @altgojo @sugurulefttesticle @minascasket @rinofcike @captainquake42 @pinkpookiebear @hellowoolf @clp-84 @yit-tk @nessca153 @domainofmarie @crunchyholo @emochosoluvr @sukubusss @being-blue-is-better @nikilig @syubseokie
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swoo0zy · 11 months ago
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wander is DEF fucked emotionally i jyst didnt feel like fitting 2 paragraphs into 1 image also. comeduc effect ig BUT YEAH I SIGN UNDER EVERY WORD
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this is starryeyed to me
#lord peepers arc wouldve been pretty bad but nothing beats his surrender-redemption in being the worst possible outcome#itd just be like the perfectly horrible clash of a guy whod have to let go of literally everything he knew n worked for n built his entire#identity on in order to move to the good side n guy who thinks being on the good side will magically make him feel better n evil being wron#basically invalidates any sort of ambition or attachment or anything u had going for it#guy whos holding onto evil for rlly nuanced reasons vs guy who fails to see the situations complexity#like despite wanders ideology being ''only presenting the right path not forcing u to follow it'' hes rlly dead set on not leaving ppl alon#until they follow it voluntarily#smth i feel he tried to do w dominator#n that makes wander an extremely interesting flawed character#i have a feeling#he sort of... views peepers as an extension of hater if thats the right way to put it#like if hater gets redeemed then peepers would be right there to follow him n the entire wathcdog army would also come as a 5075 in 1 deal#hence they never get ''targeted'' teh way hater does#n in that surrender-redemption case unfortunately hed be right#but that perception of peepers is extremely undermining#that his entire motivation n reason for being evil is built on his love for hater#obv it plays a big role n peepers has haters best interest in mind most if not all the time#but he has reasons beyond that#peepers has a lot more going on that i feel like wander just fails to notice#YK WHAT.#I JUST THOUGHT OF SMTH GENUIS#i feel like this entire thing i just wrote out can be exemplified well in the instances#of wander trying to mend peepers' napoleon complex by gifting him heels#that encapsulates it perfectly#peepers is unhappy w his height n in attempt to help him wander gives him a superficial solution that actually doesnt resolve any of the#issues lying beneath that caused that insecurity#its like treating symptoms instead of trying to fihure out n deal w the actual illness ykwim#thats wander getting peepers on the good side out of his attachment to hater n not actual want for redemption#that would just end up making it worse cuz peepers wasnt disappointed in evil yet n to him itjust feels like hes being separted from all hi#dreams n ambitions n all his work gets rendered useless n a big big part of him is just being crossed out
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coffee-and-geto · 3 months ago
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BETWEEN FORMULAS, FLOWERS AND FEELINGS - SATORU GOJO
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You are the imbalance in Satoru’s logical and rational reasoning.
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pairing: nerd! gojo x student council president! reader
summary: being the student council president isn’t the easiest job in the world. It’s not like gojo — with his trademark glasses, his awkward smile hiding the most dangerous brain. because for him, he can resolve every problem, right? there is no formula that can escape his smart mind. not even you. so when he accepts to tutor you, could he really be sure feelings won’t become a new variable?
warnings: +18 MDNI, nsfw, smut, virgin! gojo, first time, oral (m! receiving), pinning, college AU, shojo vibes, quantum physics subject, slight angst, fluff, idiots in love, insecure! gojo, nerd gojo with glasses is hot, art by @/3-aem.
wc: 9,922
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Ever since he was little, Satoru Gojo seemed to have been blessed with knowledge.
His very first Christmas toy — when he was finally old enough to have one — was a huge playset containing chemical transformation recipes to prepare by himself, using a handful of formulas and calculations.
When he turned ten, his parents gifted him a kit that allowed him to build his own electric train circuit, which he had to assemble using physics methods so that real electricity could power his trains — and sometimes even his cars.
By the time he reached middle school, scientific subjects like physics and chemistry became his second mother. Nothing escaped him. Formulas, molecular mechanisms, and chemical transformations held no secrets. This passion for complex methods shaped his logic.
For every problem, Satoru always found a solution. To him, the world was nothing but a set of solvable scientific probabilities, where nothing could slip through his grasp.
But growing up with barely controllable hormones
 poor Satoru had experienced firsthand just how bitter that could taste, even at university.
The first time he asked a girl from his middle school to go out with him in his third year, Satoru never would have thought she’d laugh right in his face before calling him a useless nerd.
He didn’t let anything show. And yet, it was from that very day that Satoru’s glasses, his passion for science, and his own self-confidence betrayed him.
He decided to give up on feelings — classifying them as a deceitful, unscientific belief with a complete lack of logic, something better suited for grotesque purposes like the movies or romantic TV series that entertained uncultured people.
Satoru didn’t need emotions when logic always prevailed, never once disappointing him.
But upon entering university, he could never understand why — despite his silence and absolute discretion, buried in his studies — his cerulean blue eyes always seemed to find their way back to you.
You were the student council president of the school. Known for your upright mind, flawless organization, and a sense of justice so firm it sometimes bordered on harshness.
You had no time for anyone. You spent your days planning university events without wasting a single second — a notebook always pressed against your chest, and occasionally, a pair of glasses perched on your nose during intense activities like studying for exams or arranging event halls, which were regularly occupied by you and your staff.
What intrigued Satoru the most about you was your logic.
You planned everything, organized everything, all while maintaining grades nearly as excellent as his. You never wasted time hanging around with those ridiculous girls who would likely reject him if he ever dared to speak to them, and he had already admire witnessed you standing up for people like him — those trapped in their introversion and buried in their books — refusing to tolerate the injustice caused by the school’s most popular students.
A deep respect radiated from you.
Something Satoru refused to admit. Even though he knew you could short-circuit his brain in an instant.
Like that time when you had asked him for a pen at the library during your study session because he wasn’t far from your table. His face had turned crimson, and he could have sworn smoke was coming out of his ears. His mouth — so used to speaking with precision and efficiency — completely failed him in front of you.
The words got stuck in his throat, and the few sounds that miraculously managed to escape were nothing but incomprehensible stutters, earning him a confused frown from you.
In the end, he gave up on any attempt at conversation and simply handed you the best pen in his pencil case — his favorite. And he had almost silently prayed in his head that you would forget to return it so that you would keep it with you.
And he hated that.
This power you had over him — the way you made him nervous, shy, and desperate for you.
Just like in middle school.
Something he had sworn to leave behind.
~~~~
“NO, NO, AND NO!”
The event hall falls into a deathly silence as you shout your words with such force and vehemence that your fists crush the few sheets of paper still clutched between your tense fingers.
No one dares to move anymore — a part of the staff is busy moving boxes of decorations, two others are handing you papers to sign, some are hovering around you with questions, and others are amusing themselves by climbing ladders to place Christmas decorations — as if your scream alone has just pierced through the entire university.
With your jaw clenched, a vein pulsing at your temple, your cheeks flushed with anger, and your throat slightly irritated, you struggle to breathe as all attention shifts onto you.
“I said I haven’t decided on the organization of the Spring Formal yet, that nothing is supposed to be taken out, signed, or even requested until I’ve given the order, so what the fuck are you all doing here?!” you exclaim.
You push past the students in your way and snap your fingers at the two idiots fooling around with the decorations.
“You two — you’re fired.”
Then, you turn to the rest of the group handling the boxes. “If you don’t want to be fired too, hurry up and put that away!” Next, to the members waiting for you to sign papers. “Out!”
As the room empties in silence, filled with sulky and terrified faces at the thought of dealing with you, you take a deep breath before crouching down to the floor, burying your face between your knees, your arms trembling.
There isn’t much time left.
Director Yaga has given you a deadline to organize the Spring Formal, leaving you in charge of the theme, the venue, and the entertainment.
But, for the first time in your role, you are literally overwhelmed.
For the first time as well, no inspiration comes to you. The stress of classes, exams happening at the same time as the event date, your poor grades lately, and the pressure your team keeps adding on top of all that—at some point, you were bound to explode.
With all of this piling up, how are you supposed to manage?
That’s exactly what you asked yourself during your class that very afternoon, staring at your 40/100 in quantum physics.
With your heart sinking into your stomach, you hastily shove the paper into your bag, not caring in the slightest if it gets crumpled.
No one must see that the student council president allows herself to yell at her team while having such catastrophic grades. But your overloaded schedule no longer allows you to focus on your studies alone — how can you concentrate and stay organized when all you want to do is throw yourself out the window?
~~~~
“You need to register to require a tutor.”
“But I don’t need one.”
The male student raises an eyebrow. “So what are you doing here?”
You scoff. How dare he talk to you like that?
You’re in the library, one of the most soothing and stressful places in the world. You’ve had to find a way to get your grades up while you sort out your problem with Spring Formal, but in the meantime, you need to find a student who can tutor you without anyone knowing.
So what better way to find out than from the librarian’s assistant — who is also one of the Tutoring Center’s organizers?
“I need to know who’s the top student in quantum physics here,” you insist with a firmer tone.
Forgetting you’re at the entrance to the library, you purse your lips, a little embarrassed.
“We don’t have ‘top students’, prez,” he replies with a bitter smile — ah, so he knows who you are.
“So how do you help the students?” you ask with almost indignation.
He shrugs. “If you need help—”
“I do not,” you cut him off coldly, cheeks on fire as you adjust your bag over your shoulder. You sigh in annoyance at the student’s lack of efficiency.
“Then, how can I help you?” He gives you the most impertinent smile in the world, as if he’s just waiting for you to get the hell out.
You tuck a stray lock of your hair back behind your ear before rolling your eyes. “I need to talk to a top student in quantum physics, that’s all.”
The student looks at his fingernails as if they're the most important thing in the world and mimes huffing. “We don’t have any.” He looks up at you. “If you’re looking for one, there’s a nerd who’s the best in his class.”
Curiosity pricks the back of your neck, causing you to sit up straight. “Who?”
“Gojo, I think,” he said, frowning as if to remember his name. “Sato-thing, if I remember. Anyway, a nerd. You should know him, I guess.”
You shake your head, eyes almost squinting as you seek the memory of a Gojo name. But nothing comes to mind. So you shrug.
“What does he look like?”
“Albino. Blue eyes, nerd glasses, always dressed in a sweatshirt or shirt and he always has a book under his arm.”
“All right, thanks.”
Then you hurry out of the library and its oppressive walls, leaving the assistant to sigh with relief — as much as you do.
~~~~
“So, you are
 Gojo Sato-thing?”
He has a little disappointed smile. “Satoru Gojo, prez.” With a nervous gesture, he places the strap of his shoulder bag back on his shoulder and adjusts his glasses, which slide down his nose.
You stare at him motionless for a few seconds, speechless at the all-too-perfect likeness of the Tutoring Center manager’s description. He’s got a book under his arm, a Digimon t-shirt over a dark blue plaid shirt and an innocent look on his face — he really wasn’t wrong.
You blink. “Um
 yeah. Whatever.”
You check that no one in the corridor of the quantum physics wing has left any students lying around who might surprise you with him, then let out an exhausted exhale.
Faced with his 6'3, you owe it to yourself to raise your eyes and chin a little higher.
“I need your help. You're the best physics student in the class, right?”
He turns the toe of his shoe as a tic on the floor and nods imperceptibly.
“Perfect. I’ve got a little problem right now and—”
“Do you need me to do an assignment for you?” he says almost as if trying to divine your thoughts — is that hope you see in his eyes?
“No.” You knit your brows. “I’m having a problem with my grades and I’m swamped with my event responsibilities and I'm starting to get grades...” You chew the inside of your cheek to hide your pride before muttering, “...pretty bad. And I don’t feel like being given help publicly.”
In his confused expression, you add, “Otherwise it would be a real shame...”
From his height, Satoru’s shyness almost flies away in a gust. He’s got you there at last. In front of him. Talking about something. Like a dream come true — a reality where he no longer knows what his name is but whatever.
He even perceives a blushing creeping up your cheeks as you drift your gaze a little lower to your own shoes and your lips crumple into an adorably embarrassed and frustrated little pout.
Then of course he’ll help you.
He would give you more if he could, and he promises to himself he’ll do it.
“So you need me as your secret tutor?” he clarifies so softly.
You look up at him, clearing your throat. “Basically
 yeah.”
“Fine. I can do that.” A small smile spreads across his pink lips and he digs his hands into his jeans, which are a little baggy for him.
You flicker your eyes, confusion animating your features. “Is that all?”
“Do you need anything else?” And you’d have sworn you saw hope still shining in his ocean-blue irises.
“What? No,” you retort incredulously. “But don’t you need something in return? Like, money or something?”
“...No,” he exhales, reducing his smile — though it still lingers. “I don’t mind helping you. Just give me your free hours so we can set a date. If that’s okay with you, of course,” he hastens to add, as if afraid of upsetting you.
Your lips part slightly. “O-Okay,” you finally say. “I’d like to do this as soon as possible.”
“How about today?” Satoru suggests, with a little more enthusiasm than he had anticipated himself. “Or even now, if you want.”
“Now?”
“Yeah,” he says with a happy nod.
“Don’t you think it’s a bit too earl—”
Barely ten minutes later, you find yourself sitting next to him once again in the library, which, for once, is not too crowded, pretending to have a casual conversation while, in reality, he is analyzing your failed test papers with an expert eye.
One elbow resting on the polished wooden table, one hand holding one of your sheets between his fingers, and the other with his index and thumb supporting his chin, Satoru lets his gaze travel line by line over your flawless handwriting—so much so that he forgets he’s supposed to be concentrating on helping you.
And not on the pretty way you write the letter ‘S,’ wondering how close he’d be to a cardiac arrest if he ever saw his name written by your hand.
When he finally manages to analyze the mistakes on your paper, Satoru straightens slightly in his seat, adjusting the collar of his unbuttoned shirt that suddenly seems to be strangling him with an invisible noose, despite his neck remaining completely free. His heart pounds at the speed of light — almost literally.
Calculations and formulas have always been child’s play for Satoru; his brain has always been wired for logic, rationality, and the addictive thrill of adrenaline coursing through his veins when he makes a new discovery, a new analysis that falls perfectly into place — like completing a puzzle and watching it come to life, or like a house of cards standing strong until the slightest imbalance brings it all crashing down.
You are the imbalance in Satoru’s logical and rational reasoning.
For Satoru, love is not a science. It’s just hormones that one must learn to control and not be fooled by.
And yet, even though he has devoted his body and soul to science, his heart will never cease to be yours — under your implacable and irrevocable hold.
Even with all the scientific weapons in the world, he will always be powerless before you.
With a flutter of snowy lashes, he returns to reality, setting his gaze on yours; persistent, waiting for him to say something, to give some kind of critique.
His mouth goes dry, heat rushes to his cheeks as he clears his throat, embarrassed.
“Well, uh... I guess we can start revisiting the notion of The Uncertainty Principle, if that’s okay with you.” He gives you a quick glance so unconfident that you restrain yourself from doing what you're thinking of: ripping off his adorable cheeks — adorable? Since when do you find nerds adorable?
“Okay,” you say, pulling a draft sheet closer.
As you move your chair closer to his to concentrate better thanks to the proximity, the effect is quite the opposite on poor Satoru. He nearly loses all composure when his trembling fingers close around his pencil.
“W-Well
 Um, do you want me to give you a quick lesson on this again? You didn’t seem to grasp much of the concept.”
“If you can use simple words
” you mumble without much hope.
He swallows hard before explaining, “A rule in quantum physics says: you can’t know both the exact position and momentum of a particle at the same time. The more you know about one, the less you know about the other. Got it?”
You squint, uncertain, as you rest your chin in the hollow of your palm. “Mh-hmm
”
“So,” he draws two Delta symbols, each followed by an x and a p, then an equal sign, “this one represents the uncertainty in position while the other represents the uncertainty in momentum.” He leans slightly forward to clearly define the terms for you before breaking down the formula, trying not to sweat under the ghost of your breath caressing his hand because of how close you are.
“Okay. I don’t think I quite got all that.”
“It’s okay,” Satoru replies with a slight smile as he adjusts his glasses on his nose before returning to the sheet. “You confused uncertainty with actual errors in measurement, and you tried to calculate exact values for both position & momentum, which isn’t possible.” He draws an example of throwing a ball vs. tracking an electron. “You can’t pin down a quantum particle perfectly — it’s like me trying to figure out what you’re thinking all the time. Impossible, right?”
“...Right.”
“You don’t understand anything, right?” he sighs, a slight frown curling his lips.
“Honestly? Not a word,” you chuckle, a soft, honest melody that caresses his ears.
“Let’s make it more real for you, prez, then,” he snorts too, wiping away a big smile that deepens his dimples. “Imagine you’re running around campus planning this big Spring Formal thing. If I try to track exactly where you are at one moment, I have no clue where you’ll be the next second. But if I focus on how fast you’re moving between meetings, I can guess you’ll end up in the library
 but I won’t know the exact second you get there. That’s basically the Uncertainty Principle — can’t have both at the same time.”
“Ohhhh, okay!” you say, a light illuminating your face. But a second later, your features drop. “But, wait
 that doesn’t make sense. If we have better tools, we can just measure both, right?”
He chuckles softly. “Nope. Even if we had the best measuring tools in the universe, the universe itself won’t let us know both at the same time. It’s not a technology problem — it’s just how nature works.”
You groan, frustrated, and slump over your notes. “Physics is pain.”
He shakes his head, a lighter smile blooming on his lips. “You’ll get it, I promise. You just need time
 and a good tutor.”
“You?” You snicker, but not meanly — just teasing him in this mood that feels so comfortable with him, something you never thought you’d experience. “You’re losing me more than I was before.”
You both sigh after a while, and he gives you a practice exercise, which you rush to complete so he can correct it.
For the first time in maybe weeks, or even months, you haven’t felt this light. Quantum physics has always been a difficult challenge to overcome, despite your habit of planning everything to avoid stress. But sometimes, doing everything alone has led you to not ask for help when you needed it the most.
So when someone reached out and showed you how relieving some of that weight could feel, the sensation sparked a desire in you — one that didn’t want this to end.
But you’re afraid it will make you dependent.
So it’s best not to get too attached, right?
~~~~
The following week, even though your understanding of quantum physics has somewhat improved, your stress refuses to do anything but skyrocket toward a full-blown anxiety attack.
Principal Yaga summoned you to his office because some students — the two you expelled last week — went to complain about your nervous and excessive behavior, claiming it warranted psychological support.
Outraged, you defended yourself by pointing out the inefficiency of your team, who fail to meet your needs without considering the mental load that comes with your responsibility as the student council president. And yet, that wasn’t enough to calm Yaga, who dismissed you with a stern reminder that if you don’t finalize the Spring Formal preparations soon, he won’t hesitate to replace you with a more competent organizer.
The mere thought — no, the haunting fear—of being replaced like a cheap supermarket doll plagues your nights with nightmares.
So, the obvious anxiety growing inside you bleeds into the most crucial moments — the moments when you’re supposed to stay focused instead of silently wallowing in your situation.
“Need help, prez?”
Ripped from your daze, you lift your gaze to the voice beside you, only now realizing that he’s been sitting next to you since the start of the lecture — completely unnoticed, completely ignored.
It’s Satoru, his laptop open in front of him, a small, friendly smile turned toward you—and only you. That tiny detail sends a strange, foreign wave through your stomach — not unpleasant, though.
“Oh, you’re here,” you mumble, turning your attention back to the professor.
“Since the very start, yes,” he replies, his voice softer now, tinged with a faint hint of disappointment as he twirls his pencil between his long, nimble fingers.
A silence settles between you, neither of you seeming inclined to break it.
In the lecture hall, only the sound of keyboards clicking and the amplified voice of the professor fill the large room. You try your best to follow along, scribbling notes as diligently as you can, but at this point, it feels like trying to form words by randomly pressing keys — you understand nothing.
“Need help?”
You slowly lift your head toward the familiar voice.
“You can explain it to me later, you know?” you mutter, careful not to let anyone else overhear your conversation — it could cost you.
“And we could save time by explaining it now.” His tone is soft, rational, kind, altruistic — every synonym that embodies maturity and gentle responsibility.
He’s made of sugar. Just for you.
You sigh, finally giving in with a nod, as Satoru flips his laptop into tablet mode to explain the purpose of the chapter — the name of which you’ve only just learned, despite an hour and a half of lecture on Wave-Particle Duality.
“So,” he says, writing the formula on his tablet with a stylus. “The general concept is quite easy. Quantum objects — like electrons — can act as both particles and waves, okay?”
You nod, leaning in closer to his shoulder to observe the definitions of the formula’s terms — a faint scent brushes against your senses. Clean laundry and a subtle drop of cologne. The scent imprints itself in your lungs pleasantly enough that you have to mentally slap yourself to keep from getting distracted from Satoru’s explanations.
He glances at you with those sharp blue eyes and raises an eyebrow. “You know what wavelength means?”
“It’s just for light, right?”
He snorts quietly. “Particles.”
“Oh.”
He holds back another laugh and continues his explanations.
Several minutes later, you find your eyes glued — no, entranced — by Satoru, this nerd with glasses that hide a brain far too brilliant for you. Maybe even for the entire university.
You notice it in everything he does — setting aside his physical appearance, which you’re starting to find cuter and cuter without even realizing it — every cell of his body breathes science, logic, the thirst for discovery. His brain analyzes every possibility, his fingers manipulate rationality, and his glasses help him weigh the pros and cons. His long, straight nose gives him an infallible instinct, a sixth sense that never fails, and his smile — his pretty, thin, pink lips—illuminate hypotheses with a dangerously innocent charm.
But he himself doesn’t even realize it.
“See? It’s like
 imagine if you could be both a super serious president and a total mess at physics at the same time. Oh wait — that’s already happening,” he teases, a playful, cute smile blooming on his lips as he glances at you with sparkles in his eyes.
Oh, that damn smile.
And without meaning to, you join in his laughter, covering your mouth with your palm so as not to be heard as, for the first time in weeks, a weight is lifted from your shoulders. The little analogy that might have irritated you a few days ago seems silly to you. Why do it when he’s here?
The bell rings, announcing the end of class, and the hubbub of the students urges you to put your things away as much as possible before the teacher gives you more homework than you already have just to understand the lecture.
With your bag slung over your shoulder, you make your way towards the exit, at the end of the herd of students who have made you lose sight of Satoru. A little disappointment contracts your heart, but after all, why should he be waiting for you? There was no need. You’re not friends. Just two students who are nice to each other (well, mostly Satoru).
So as you walk out of the lecture hall, you almost come face to face with a 6’3. Your nose collides painfully with a hard, bumpy surface — wait, of abs?
Impossible.
A hand much larger than yours wraps around your elbow to steady you and meets your eyes down on your wincing face.
“Oops, sorry,” Satoru apologizes as his smile evaporates. “Are you okay? I just wanted to wait for you.”
Was it abs?
“No worries, I'm fine,” you assure with a smile as self-conscious as it is forced, one hand rubbing your sore nose. “That's sweet.” Then you look away to calm the blush that spreads like a puddle from your neck to your scalp and pray it's unseen.
“You sure?” he insists with a concerned frown.
“...Sure.”
Once your face has cooled, your eyes stare at the spot on his torso where your nose collided. That flat spot under the shirt that appears a little less to you now, seen up close. It's as if with every swell of his breath, you can see the beginnings of an abdominal bulge, but you shake your head to get this far-fetched idea out of your head.
Letting your hand fall back, you offer him a more confident smile and lead the way. “Shall we?”
With a slower nod, he follows you.
To bridge the silence between the two of you in the deserted corridors, you nudge him in the ribs and say, “You know, I still don’t get how you find physics fun.”
He feigns pain and smirks — does he only smile when he’s with you?
“I don’t find it fun, strictly speaking, but really very interesting. At least, enough to make me face my major.” He pauses to give you a teasing look. “And I still don’t get how you survive on four hours of sleep.”
“I am a vampire,” you grin stupidly, “I love working at night. I feel productive.”
“I see that. Your bags speak for you,” he chortles.
“For real?” you mouth, running your fingers over your dark circles as if to check his words when it makes more sense to look in the mirror rather than feel you up.
“Just joking,” he murmurs, dropping his gaze on the floor a second before looking up back at you. “But you seem very stressed lately, am I wrong?”
You don’t answer right away, reluctant to tell him about your doubts and what’s been bothering you for weeks. But you can. This is just two friends from the same quantum physics class strolling around campus at the end of a long day, isn’t it?
But maybe not close enough for him to be really interested in you? Maybe he’s just asking questions out of politeness and not out of any real concern for you. After all, you’re not really close.
“It's alright, just uni and student council stuff, as always,” you murmur with averted eyes. “We also need to plan our next tutoring session.”
“Yeah...” Satoru shoves his hands in his pockets and lets silence fill the gap between the two of you before resuming. “Maybe we could do it somewhere else this time, couldn’t we?” he offers without much hope in his voice.
You knit your brows. “What?”
“I mean... do you—uh, never mind.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Huh?”
He seems to chicken out and look away but you catch it before he could hide it — the tips of his ears are red.
“Nothing. Just... you’re really into this whole Spring Formal thing, huh?” he mumbles.
“Of course. I have a lot of work to do on it. But what were you asking me?” you insist with a softer tone and your hand wrapping around his arm — remarkably built, you note internally.
He finally twists his neck toward you to face you, lips pursed into a conflicted pout.
“You’re going to refuse.”
“You didn’t even try to ask,” you almost in a mid gasp and chuckle.
He runs a hand through his tousled snowy hair, then slips it around the back of his neck, rubbing it like a nervous tic. “I see that you’re stressed — even if you deny it. So would you accept to... maybe do work on our tutoring lessons in a better place?” He panics slightly under your unfathomable gaze, just waiting for the next part of his words. “I mean... I know a place where it could be less stressful and more relaxing because you deserve it... But of course,” he adds hastily, “it doesn’t commit you to anything and you don’t have to accept and we can totally carry on doing it at the library because really it’s just a stupid idea and I should just keep my mouth shut—”
“Satoru.”
His heart stops beating and he thinks his brain has short-circuited as he realizes it’s the first time you've said his first name in that tone.
Softly, reassuringly, and with obvious joy.
“Of course I’d like to work with you somewhere else. It means a lot to me that you thought of me like that,” you say softly as you stop in front of some stairs so you can look him straight in the eye. “I can give you my phone number and you’ll just have to send me the address, how’s that?”
Okay. His brain really has just short-circuited.
He doesn’t even remember how he managed to hand you his phone and record your number, wish you a good evening and return to his dormitory after being subjected to your beaming smile — of a particular radiance he’s never seen before on your face in all the time, however long, he’s spent gazing at you wherever you are — radiant even.
Lying on his bed, he stares at the ceiling. The silent night allows his thoughts to grow louder, as if several were trying to express themselves at once.
However, one image takes root in his eyelids when he closes them before sleeping.
You.
~~~~
“You shouldn’t have.”
“Do you really need to make this even more embarrassing?”
You shake your head. “It’s not fair.”
His features sag, and he lets out a tiny sigh. “Just please, accept it. I made it for you.”
At your feet lies a picnic blanket with red and white checkered patterns. On top of it are homemade sandwiches, cans of fruit juice, berries, cakes, and even a tub of ice cream resting inside a mini cooler. Satoru has even arranged the space to avoid a chaotic mess while working and has brought ultra-comfortable cushions to make the tutoring session as pleasant as possible.
He can’t do this.
Not with you, who arrived at the quiet, sparsely crowded city park, right under the most magnificent Japanese cherry blossom tree.
The cool breeze blows gently around you both, sweeping away a few strands of your hair that you’re forced to tuck behind your ears.
“Sit your ass down,” Satoru mumbles, looking away to hide an obvious embarrassment, though his hand pats the empty space he left just for you.
So, reluctantly, you sit cross-legged, grabbing a random sandwich — just so he won’t sulk — and try not to cry because it’s so ridiculously delicious. The berries couldn’t be fresher or juicier than any you’ve ever tasted, and not to mention the cakes he brought. The majority of the food is sweet — his sweet tooth showing up a little too obviously.
“Hope it tastes good,” he adds, his lips forming a slight pout.
“Never ate something that good,” you respond, mouth full of food. “You’re an angel.”
The word makes him freeze for a solid thirty seconds before he shakes his head and lets his gaze drift away — always avoiding — toward the nearby lake.
The ground is sprinkled with pale pink petals, blending into the vibrant green grass of this March afternoon. A few birds chirp in the distance, hardly anyone comes near your secluded spot, and the peaceful silence reigning over the park creates the perfect environment for getting work done.
Swallowing his own mochi, Satoru watches you take out your notes on the latest physics chapter, and instead of sitting across from you, he allows himself to settle beside you this time — without you pulling away.
He was hesitant from the start and may never be able to stop feeling nervous around you. No matter how often he’s around you or how much more familiar he grows with your presence, he can’t control those sudden spikes of nervousness that hit when he’s already comfortable — only for one small action or movement to give his poor little heart a crisis.
You hand him the exercises you worked on last night, and while he reviews them, you take out your planner and notepad — the ones you carry everywhere (even to bed and the bathroom)—to go over the organization of the upcoming Spring Formal.
An event that’s happening soon. An event with absolutely nothing planned yet.
You quietly jot down notes on possible themes, but after another glance at the endless, sprawling branches of the massive cherry tree, you sigh and toss your notepad aside onto the picnic blanket. No ideas in sight. You have no choice but to admit your incompetence. Your failure is inevitable.
“Here.” Satoru hands you back your corrected exercises, and you quickly scan through them.
Since the beginning of your sessions with him, you have to admit — you’ve improved.
This time, there are fewer scribbles and corrections from Satoru. Your formulas and applications are more precise, clearer, and better developed. All thanks to your hard work and Satoru’s expert guidance — the science genius himself.
There are still some non-negligible mistakes to fix, but at least the encouraging smile from your tutor warms your chest, silently telling you that you’re on the right track.
“This is really not bad,” he murmurs softly near your shoulder. “You’re seriously improving.”
“Thanks to my good tutor,” you reply, nudging him playfully with your elbow.
“What flattery. I don’t deserve this much.” Yet his so-called humility is betrayed by the deep red blush dusting his ears.
“Quite the opposite. I wish I could pay you back somehow.”
“You don’t need to. I told you it was my pleasure to help you.”
“And I feel bad about it,” you confess in a whisper.
“Don’t,” he insists — and dares to wrap his slightly trembling, warm hand over yours on the blanket.
Your heart flutters, like a butterfly trying to take flight, only to be tossed around by the wind.
“Thank you,” you whisper, with more honesty than you’ve ever given anyone.
“For being a good friend? Don’t worry, I’m glad to have you as well, honestly,” he murmurs back, punctuating his words with a light squeeze of your hand.
“And I—” he clears his throat, “...really appreciate you.”
Friends. Appreciate you.
“I appreciate you too. Really. I’m sorry if I mess up every move you try with me to help me,” you add with an apologetic smile. “Stress always ruins my life.”
“I told you that you couldn't deny it.” He raises his eyebrows and lift up an uncertain arm — seeing you not reacting has reassured him enough to pluck up the courage to pass it around you to console you. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
You let yourself go against him, burying half your face against him. “I’m in deep shit about organizing the Spring Formal. I haven’t prepared anything, I have no idea, and yet I’ve got plenty to do. Mr. Yaga warned me that he might replace me if I went on like this, and I feel like everything’s going to shit,” you say in a breath, a tiny barrier of vulnerability cracking.
His arm tightens in an attempt at comfort. He nods slowly, inhaling long breaths of fresh air before making a clicking sound with his tongue.
“Where’s your notepad?”
You hand it to him without protest, and he immediately grabs it and flips through it. Then, when he finds a blank page, he grabs a pen lying near the two of you and jots down a few sentences, the words of which you can only read when he hands you the notebook.
“An alignment of the planets?” You raise a curious, surprised eyebrow.
He nods with his chin and sketches a smile.
“It only happens in spring, practically. And there will be one before long.” He squeezes his arm around you again and chuckles. “A theme about planets might be nice, don’t you think?”
Lips parted, you gaze into the azure sky. Himself a little disarmed by your lack of reaction, he frowns without giving up his smile and softly pronounces your first name.
With zero control over your movements, there’s nothing to stop your lips from pressing tenderly against Satoru’s smooth, soft cheek — a firm but gentle kiss leaving an invisible, indelible trace on his radiant skin as you pull away to look into his eyes again.
“You're an angel,” you repeat a second time.
Well, the second time too, when Satoru’s heart, no longer knowing how to beat, simply stops beating.
~~~~
“Move them a little more to the right— Yes, that’s perfect.”
Your trusty notepad clutched against your chest, you admire the preparations unfolding in the venue for the upcoming Spring Formal, where the theme of planetary alignment is set to make this year’s university event truly unforgettable.
Finally, you’re no longer spending your time yelling at your team and barking orders fueled by the vibrant sparks of your stress. Instead, you’re giving clear instructions, each one accompanied by an encouraging smile for everyone.
“Maybe we could add midnight blue velvet curtains,” Satoru suggests, leaning over your shoulder, his chest brushing pleasantly against your back as he glances at the list of missing decoration orders. “We could stick fake stars on them, and it’ll draw more attention to the planets. What do you think?”
“I like the idea,” you giggle, despite the way your insides somersault when his warm breath grazes your ear, sending waves of goosebumps down your skin. You jot down a few notes as Satoru leans in even closer, gently resting his chin on your shoulder. “Not surprising, coming from the quantum physics genius of the entire university.”
Even though there’s nothing official between you — not if you ignore the feelings and trust that make Satoru more confident and relaxed in your presence — nor any concrete relationship, the warm intimacy settling between you two is anything but uncomfortable.
It’s like a mutual friendship, fully acknowledged by both of you, yet intertwined with threads of love left unspoken — often betrayed by moments of closeness like this one.
“You’re gonna make me blush again,” he admits with a light laugh, soft and delicate as a cherry blossom petal.
“Oh yeah?” You turn your head toward his — just enough for your faces to be so close that the tips of your noses brush. “Why?”
He sighs, fluttering his eyes closed for a brief moment before opening them again. “You know why
”
“I’m clueless when it comes to guessing thoughts, my hot nerd tutor,” you coo, a little grin spreading across your lips — those same lips he wanted to kiss until he couldn’t breathe anymore for the rest of his life.
“Maybe I could show you, then.” And gently, he places his hands around your waist, an easy, soothing smile on his face. “Is that okay if I do that?” After your nod, his smile grows even wider. “Also, could we do our next session at my place? I can’t stay at the library today because my mom is waiting for a package while she’s at work, so she asked me to take care of it.”
“Of course.” You take note of his suggestion while the rest of your team rushes to decorate the room and move boxes — some opened, some not. Then, you turn back to him, feeling the slight tremor of his hands against your body, the way the blood rushes alarmingly fast to his face, and how his eyes avoid yours.
“Blushing?” you giggle.
“You’re not embarrassed? I mean— It’s my place, not my dorm or the library, you know,” he mumbles.
You graze a kiss on his soft cheek and grin. “You’re freaking cute.”
“I’m not joking,” he whines lowly, a small, worried furrow forming between his brows.
“As am I.” You give his arm a little squeeze. “Everything’s gonna be alright. I don’t mind having you all alone in your house, though.”
And you burst into laughter when he chokes on his own saliva at your words — having never seen someone turn so red before.
~~~~
“I knew you liked physics, but not that much.”
Before coming to set foot in Satoru’s room for the first time, you expected to be dealing with a simple, uncluttered, organized room, and above all far more filled with bookcases overflowing with books rather than...
...the opposite.
Stepping into Satoru’s room feels like entering a nerdy galaxy of controlled chaos. His desk is cluttered with thick physics textbooks, some stacked neatly, others left open mid-read, pages filled with complex equations you can’t even begin to understand. Among them, a few manga volumes peek out, half-hidden like a guilty pleasure. Above, a whiteboard covered in messy formulas and doodles dominates the wall, the marker strokes chaotic but somehow full of purpose. His ceiling is scattered with glow-in-the-dark stars, forming actual constellations if you look closely, and a floating moon lamp sat on his nightstand, casting a soft glow over his unmade bed.
Everywhere you turn, there is something to mess with — a plasma ball that lit up at your touch, a Newton’s Cradle clicking rhythmically on his desk, even a weird futuristic clock displaying time in some incomprehensible format. His monitors hum with life, one running a sci-fi screensaver while another had what looks like a physics simulation he’d probably forgotten about. 
And yet, despite the overwhelming nerd energy, it was
 comfortable. Lived-in. A place where ideas sparked and theories came to life — exactly what you could imagine his space would be if you’d thought things through a bit more.
“Wow,” you murmur, entranced. “It’s
 just beautiful. Like a museum.”
“Heh? You’re flattering me really too much,” he chuckles nervously, scratching his neck where his undercut is. “But I’m glad if you like it. I want you to feel home,” he adds softly.
“Home?” You turn to him with a slightly embarrassed and moved smile. “You’re my home, actually.”
Nothing you say makes sense. Your racing heart lets your mouth babble nonsense and scare Satoru away. You’re far too embarrassing—
“I feel the same for you.”
Like a needle piercing a balloon, your vital organ explodes in your chest.
The next second, your brain regains control and orders your legs to move towards him, until your torsos brush against each other and your breaths mingle, giving birth to a gentle flame that burns only to be consumed.
Satoru whispers your name. “Can I try something?” he mouths.
You nod imperceptibly, your gaze lost in his ocean eyes.
Tenderly and with the most delicate gentleness, he cups your cheeks, tilting your head so that your face faces directly forehead to his. So close, you have a detailed view of the number of his light eyelashes, the different shades of blue mingling in his irises, the pleasant warmth of his tepid breath against you.
Then, his lips brush yours first, as if testing your reaction. But when your fingers latch onto his light-brown V-neck sweater, he feels the pressure rise in his blood and slowly, but suddenly, crushes his lips against yours.
It’s not rushed — just a soft press of lips, tentative, almost careful. As if he's afraid of breaking something fragile. So to encourage him, you sigh softly in contentment, then tilt your head the slightest bit to fit better, closer... Your hands remain gently clasped to his sweater.
He seems to get your message, because the next thing you know, he’s relaxing, moving more slowly and comfortably against yours. The world outside that moment doesn’t exist. Just him, just this — his lips, softer than you expected, the careful way he kisses you, as if he is memorizing every second of it. Time stretches thin, and even when you finally pull apart, neither of you move far.
Slowly, you open your eyes, only to find him already looking at you. His gaze is different now — quieter, warmer, like he is seeing you in a way he never had before.
For a moment, neither of you speak. The silence is soft, not awkward, filled with a kind of understanding that doesn’t need words. And then, just barely above a whisper, Satoru exhales a quiet, shaky laugh.
“Oh.”
Just that — like he hasn’t expected this, like he’s still processing the fact that it happened at all. And maybe it’s the way he looks at you, stunned and a little breathless, or maybe it’s just the warmth still lingering between you, but you find yourself smiling, a tiny, barely-there curve of your lips.
“Yeah,” you murmur back, voice quieter and warmer than you intended.
Neither of you moved away. Not yet.
You lower your head, a hot flush creeping up your cheeks and neck, and that's when you also understand where his “oh” is coming from.
Oh.
While he turns away to hide his face in his hands and prays to be buried in a grave on the spot, you burst out laughing — a frank, non-judgmental laugh. Simply savoring this pleasant moment with him (albeit with one small problem).
“Just with a kiss? Satoru, I swear you’re the cutest!” you continue to laugh, half-folding with your arms hugging your belly.
“It’s not f-funny!” And the poor guy doesn’t even dare turn around as he adjusts his pants, which is where his “problem” lies.
Smiling, you move closer to him, your lips still prickling from the perfect kiss. One of your hands slips to his shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” he mumbles, hiding his face again from your sight.
“It is,” you insist, wrapping your hand around his wrist to look at him. “I’m not judging you, I swear. It’s not like you can control that, is it?”
“I know, but— It’s so embarrassing. I feel like a poor virgin nerd that — well, It’s not like I am not but—”
You freeze, slowly losing your smile. “Wait
 you’re a virgin?”
He nods, a little shameful pout creasing his lips.
“I—” you trail off. Taking a short breath, you lower yourself a little more to look at him as he covers his crotch with one hand. “I can help you with that, you know.”
His eyes widen, heart hammering in his rib cage. “W-What?”
An umpteenth laugh shakes your chest. “I mean, yeah. I don’t mind and I like you.” Then an idea pops into your head, like a lamp regaining its light. “Like, it would make up for the effort you put into helping me get good grades. What do you think?”
He straightens abruptly and gently but firmly pushes your hand away by the wrist. A serious look despite his embrace adds.
“No way. I already told you I don’t want anything in return.”
“But it’s just to please you,” you insist, flickering your eyes. “Don’t you want to know how it feels?” You take a few steps forward until you can wrap your arms around his perfect torso — the ideal balance of slim and muscular.
Your chin rests on his breastbone, a little imploring pout on your lips.
“C’mon, just an oral, I promise. I want to return the favor.”
He swallows hard, lips parted as if the words are stuck somewhere between embarrassment and want. His gaze flickers between your face and the floor, a mix of reluctance and curiosity in his eyes.
“But I—” His voice cracks slightly, a nervous laugh escaping him. “I don’t know what I’m doing
”
You smile, a quiet, knowing smile, and slide your fingers slowly down his arm, your touch lingering on his skin. “It’s okay,” you say, your breath barely above a whisper. “I’ll guide you.”
You can see him shiver at the words, his chest rising and falling rapidly. You take your time, moving in closer, making sure to leave no space between you. Your lips brush against his jaw, a delicate kiss that makes his entire body stiffen for a split second. He doesn’t pull away, though, and that’s enough to encourage you to go further.
“Just relax,” you tease, pulling back slightly to look up at him. “I promise I’m not going to bite.”
“I know, I just need to sit a bit,” he whispers, a wave of uncertainty in his eyes.
You pull away from him, feeling the palpable tension between the two of you. “Of course.” You take his hand in yours and guide him onto his bed. When he sits down on the mattress, you find yourself kneeling between his legs.
As your hands busily unzip his straight gray twill pants, you maintain eye contact. “Tell me if it’s too much or if you wanna stop, okay love?”
Love.
He nods gently, his elbows pressed into the softness of the mattress to get a view of your movements without him lying down completely. Lips trembling, Satoru feels obliged to bite them to calm himself as the heat almost suffocates him while all he has left is his boxer shorts hiding his growing erection under the thin fabric.
You can feel the air thickening between you, charged with the kind of quiet intensity that makes your pulse race. Your fingertips wrap around the waistband of his boxers and tug them down gently, letting the fabric rub against his length while he’s hissing.
“Sweetheart—”
“Relax, I’m just getting started,” you chuckle fondly.
When the underwear is pulled down, his erection springs free, slamming on his half-covered abdomen. The poor little thing, left alone, twitches painfully — dragging sounds like cute and innocent whimpers from Satoru — like it’s begging for your touch for a decade.
You curl your lips together, genuinely stunned by his size. 7 inches isn’t nothing.
“So you’re packing this from the start?”
“I— No
” He sighs, clenching his jaw as his eyes flutter closed. “Please, it’s already embarrassing.”
“But why? You’re beautiful, Satoru. And I’m not talking about your dick,” you snort. Your gentle, affectionate tone makes Satoru forget how to breathe and open his eyes again. “You’re beautiful on the inside too.”
“You’re only flattering—”
“I am not,” you state firmly, getting up from your knees to straddle his hips and cup his cheeks until they puff like mochi’s and he’s pouting.
Fucking adorable.
“Have you ever been into a relationship?” you whisper after pecking a kiss on the corner of his lips.
He shakes his head, stuttering a no.
“So  can I call you mine? Because I’d be yours if I could,” you mutter next to his jaw where you peck another kiss that makes him shiver and grip your hips with his hands.
He opens his mouth to say something and hesitates. “A-Are you sure?” he asks, eyes filled with doubt. ‘I’m a nerd and—”
“And my type is nerd guys,” you cut him off before pulling him into a passionate kiss. He gasps, tightening his grip on your as his lips gently taste your and steal his breath away. “I love you, Satoru.”
“Love you more. Since the first time I laid my eyes on you,” he murmurs back between kisses, eyelids shut.
You slightly pull away, a smile springing to your lips. “Pinning on me for so long? Aw, sorry to have been blind for this long too, then.”
He resists the urge to take you in his arms and lets you back down onto your knees, this time with his oversensitive cock throbbing in your hands as you begin to stroke it up and down, base to tip with all the slowness you can manage so as not to make him cum too quickly.
Satoru’s hips jerk up instantly, his chest rising and lowering because of his stuttering breath.
“Your hands feel so good and soft,” he whispers, sliding his big hands up to your shoulders, which he gently massages to relax you too. What a gentleman. “So much better than mine
”
“Yeah? You like it?” Eager to please him for his first time, you place a kiss on his angry red tip, licking a little strop with the tip of your own tongue.
“Hgn— easy,” he pants, hands shaking slightly as they interrupt their massages on your shoulders when yours lead them on your head, tangled with your locks. “What are you—”
“You can use my hair, if you want.” And you punctuate your words by taking his length back between your hands and kiss the fat head. It twitches in response, stealing little giggles from your sweet lips. Beads of precum leak along his length, helping you to wet him enough to stroke him faster as you part your lips and slide them down the length of him.
Satoru’s breath hitches when you take him, sucking in slow, deep strokes as your hand grips the base of him. You pull back slightly, your lips sliding back up, and you hear him groan, a sound that makes you ache. You repeat the motion, taking him deeper, sucking harder as you run your tongue along the underside of his cock, feeling him twitch in your mouth before you pull back again.
“Feel good?” you ask sweetly.
“You’re perfect,” he breathes out — even whimpering in neediness, “thank you so much
” His hands tighten in your hair, pulling you even closer, but it’s not enough.
You don’t stop. Instead, you take him deeper, your lips tightening around him as you move faster, the sound of your mouth on his cock filling the room, drowning out everything else. Satoru’s breath grows shallow, irregular, his body starting to tense, his legs flexing as he tries to hold back.
But you can feel it. The way he is so close, the way his body is winding tighter with every flick of your tongue. His fingers pulled at your hair, unsure to guide you just how he wants because what you were doing is already something he’ll owe you all his entire life — he is desperate, needing his release.
“F-Fuck,” he stutters, fingers digging in your scalp deliciously for you pleasure. “I love you, but please, g’nna—”
“—cum? Yeah, do it, love,” you purr affectionately as you teasingly suck his sensitive tip until he’s whining and fighting for his hips to not thrust up and hurt you.
He is there — at the edge — his cock twitching in your mouth, and you know he can’t hold on much longer. With one last deep, slow pull, he cums, his hips jerking as he releases into your mouth with a long, desperate groan. You swallow every drop, sucking him clean, your hands gently massaging his thighs as he slowly comes down from the high.
Satoru’s breath is ragged, his body shuddering as he slowly opens his eyes. He looks at you like you’re some sort of angel from heaven, and you smile, wiping the corner of your mouth before standing up.
“Feel better?” you ask teasingly, your voice light despite the heat still pooling in your stomach.
He sighs deeply, rubbing his eyes before carefully sitting up and hugs you in a tight embrace. He blows kisses all over your face, murmuring thank yous and how much he loves you and you find yourself in awe.
“You’re welcome, it’s the least that I can do for you, after all.” You press a big, firm, and sincere kiss on his cheek, and cannot stop smiling.
~~~~
The main room is bathed in a deep blue, soft, ambient light, the atmosphere almost otherworldly. Stars shimmer faintly on the walls, and delicate, hanging lanterns cast a stunning cold glow, like constellations scattered across the ceiling. The whole room seems alive, breathing with energy, as guests drift through the space, their laughter and chatter blending into a gentle hum.
At the center of the hall are huge telescopes, available for anyone curious enough to observe tonight’s planet alignment. The most important event of the Spring Formal.
Around the perimeter, tables are set with shimmering candles, their flames flickering softly, casting shadows on the faces of the students who’ve come to admire the setup. The smell of roses and lavender lingers in the air, mixing with the faint scent of freshly baked treats at the snack table. It feels like a dream — a celebration of the night sky brought to life.
Satoru stands beside you, his hand lightly brushing against yours as you both take in the beauty of the room. His smile is small but warm, his gaze drifting from the decorations to the crowd. There’s an unspoken pride in the way he looks at you, knowing you had a hand in making all of this happen, bringing the theme of the planets to life with such care.
“This is... perfect,” he says, voice soft but full of admiration. His words are simple, but they carry weight. You feel a soft warmth settle in your chest at the sincerity in his tone.
A small smile blooms on your lips. “Yeah
” you agree, turning to face him fully, now a grin spreading across your face. “It really turned out great. Thanks to you.”
His cheeks tint pink at the praise, and he shrugs, trying to act nonchalant, but the pride in his eyes is unmistakable.
“You really made this all come together,” he says, voice full of admiration. “It’s amazing.”
For a moment, you simply smile at each other, a comfortable silence settling between you. The warmth of his gaze makes your heart flutter in your chest.
“Want to dance?” you ask, already knowing his answer, but wanting to ask all the same.
He hesitates for a moment, that same shy, unsure side of him creeping back, but the smile on his lips says everything.
“Yeah,” he says, his hand finding yours once again, this time with more confidence. “I’d love to.”
As you both step onto the dance floor, the lights change again, and for a moment, the two of you are surrounded by the glow of the stars and lanterns, your bodies moving to the soft music that fills the room. It’s not a fast, frantic dance — just slow and gentle, like you’re in your own little world. You feel the gentle sway of the music, and the weight of everything around you fades, leaving just the two of you in perfect harmony.
Maybe it’s the magic of the planets aligning, or maybe it’s just him — but either way, you think, you wouldn’t mind orbiting around Gojo Satoru a little longer.
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a/n: there we go! I AM DRAINED BC OF SCHOOL AND COURSES GUIDANCE BC LAW IS SO HARDDDD!! hum hum, beside that, i hope you guys had a nice week and that you are all taking care of your little faces (if not i'm gonna do it for you). writing this felt like... refreshing? i mean, nerdjo is the little mochi i'm eating when i go to the supermarket lol. and gosh, he's so cute that i'm going crazy haha.
reblogs, comments, and likes are very appreciated as always <3
also, this is how i pictured this cutie pie:
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tags: @bearwithmoo @elliesndg @lymsfm @mutsu422 @drippymcdrippison @koshhin @v31v3t @wisheclairr @sanemistar @monokaix
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hairydykecunt · 1 year ago
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i cant fet myself to do anything
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sillyswriting · 4 months ago
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: ̗̀➛ bouncer simon 'ghost' riley - 02
cw : sexual theme, public sex
ㅀㅀ     ㅀ  ㅀㅀㅀ collection - prev ⋆ next
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simon was never the insecure type. not when it came to women, so dating a stripper was nothing to him. it wasn't for everyone, especially when he watched you work. it was tricky not to get a hard on every five minutes.
but at the end of the night, it was his dick that had you dumb, and that's all that mattered.
none of the fuckers coming in here would ever be able to satisfy a beauty like you-it was written all over their desperate faces. useless.
you, however, were not above jealousy. your relationship-if you could even call it that-was still fresh, and you had begged simon to keep quiet about it at the club. not that he was the talkative type to begin with.
relationship. you scoffed at the thought, taking another drag of your cigarette as you mulled over whatever the hell it was you had with simon.
every night for the past three weeks, he'd take you back to his place, fuck you stupid-turn your brain to mush until you couldn't string a single thought together-then cleaned you up, made sure you were warm and tucked in before you passed out.
and every morning, you woke up alone.
where he went-every single time-you had no clue. the gym, the grocery store, god knows where. all you knew was that by the time you opened your eyes, he was gone, leaving you to drag yourself back to your place and get ready for the day.
it wasn't the healthiest setup, nor the most romantic. but you let yourself be okay with it. because at the end of the night, you were always in simon's bed.
still, deep down, you wanted more. to be more than just a body.
shaking your head, you made your way back to the lockers, barely paying attention to the chatter around you. you were focused on fixing your hair, mind elsewhere-until you heard his name.
well, not his name. but ghost. you were the only one knowing his name amongst the girls.
"bet he fucks like an animal," the first girl drawled, her thick new york accent growing heavier as she got more worked up. "all quiet, brooding... those are the ones that do the nastiest shit. i know he talks filthy—it's always the silent ones."
the second girl just laughed, nodding in agreement when you caught her eye in the mirror.
you had to bite your tongue to keep from telling them just how right they were. not because you wanted to gossip-no, you wanted to b𝘳𝘱g. to show him off. he was yours.
"reckon he might be gay," a third girl cut in, her brummie accent making it sound even more blunt "đ˜Și mean, ya ever seen him look at any of the girls ‘ere? always just lurkin’ in the shadows, not sayin’ a word."
when the others stared at her like she was talking mad, she just shrugged and added, "𝘳𝘩m𝘩mb𝘩𝘳 𝘳udy? 𝘯𝘩v𝘩𝘳 g𝘱v𝘩 us 𝘱 s𝘩c𝘰𝘯d 𝘭𝘰𝘰k 𝘯𝘩đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜©đ˜Šđ˜ł, đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Šđ˜Ż w𝘩 𝘧𝘰u𝘯d 𝘰uđ˜” đ˜©đ˜Š gđ˜°đ˜” 𝘧đ˜Ș𝘳𝘩d 𝘧𝘰𝘳 gđ˜Šđ˜”đ˜”đ˜Ș𝘯' bđ˜Šđ˜Żđ˜” 𝘰v𝘩𝘳 đ˜Ș𝘯 đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Š b𝘱ck 𝘱𝘭𝘭𝘩y
 jusđ˜” s𝘱yđ˜Ș𝘯', gđ˜©đ˜°sđ˜” c𝘰u𝘭d b𝘩 đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Š s𝘱m𝘩."
you laughed out loud at that. yeah, you remembered rudy-what a time that had been. you loved this job, and gossiping in the locker room was half the fun.
but god, they couldn't have been more wrong about ghost.
heading back toward the stage, you missed the rest of their conversation-something about putting on a special show. whatever. you had work to do.
as you stepped onto the stage and started moving, slow and deliberate around the pole, you felt his eyes on you. they grounded you, made you feel safe in a way you'd never needed before. but now? you weren't ready to give it up.
just as the next song started, you were sweetly smiling at a loaded old man who kept slipping you ÂŁ50 bills when you spotted your dear colleague making her way toward simon. at first, you paid it no mind-he wasn't exactly approachable-but something about her attitude in the locker room rubbed you the wrong way.
you knew something was up when she trailed after him during his break. you had no more breaks-you were off in an hour-so all you could do was watch from the stage as she followed him to god knows where. it wasn't like simon not to be aware of his surroundings, so you knew he knew she was there.
it was the longest hour known to mankind. they hadn't come back, and you had to dance your arse off while nursing the sting of betrayal.
you'd thought you and simon had something special. turned out, you were just another bitch in a club.
once the hour was up, you didn't bother sweet-talking anyone-you stormed off the stage, ready to call it a night. a part of you wanted to find simon, just so you could punch his handsome face.
the only place that came to mind was the staff bathroom-the very same place he'd fucked you for the first time. did he take all the girls there? rounding the corner, you heard it.
grunts. and throat noises?
damn, she was a nasty one. it was still early for a strip club-all the girls were still here.
at that very moment, you had never been more disgusted by a man in your life. the fact that he'd let just anyone get on their knees for him in a public bathroom-like a fucking pig. you never had anything special, did you?
you had been a warm little convenient thing for him. easy. disposable.
you were ready to storm in and throw hands. at who? you still weren't sure.
you needed the money, sure, but you'd find another club. one of the main rules was no fighting among the girls-especially not over a dick. but fuck it. the second was: don't fuck the costumers.
you were seeing red. you felt dirty and humiliated.
hand on the door, you started pushing when strong arms wrapped around you, a firm hand clamping over your mouth. before you could react, you were dragged into the janitor's closet, the door shutting behind you.
"dumb little girl, thinking i put my dick anywhere." simon groaned in your ear, rubbing his hard on against your arse. "could see it in your pretty head, you're always overthinking, aren't you?"
the hand that had been clamped on your mouth loosened slightly, fingers trailing down to your throat instead, squeezing just the way you liked. "need my dick to turn that brain off, right lovie?" he had lowered his voice again, and you could hear the smirk in it.
his deep voice in your ear made it impossible to think straight. the way he kept rubbing didn't help either. you snapped back to reality when you heard it-his belt buckle.
you started thrashing a bit, trying to escape his grip, but it was pointless. you knew he'd never hurt you, but if he wanted you somewhere, you'd be there-no question.
"gonna take it like my good girl, right?" simon's voice dripped in your ear. "i must admit, your jealousy was fucking hot. the anger on your face? damn, got me hard in a minute."
all the noises in the background only heightened the moment. you could still hear the other girl in the bathroom, the music from the main stage, and the girls rushing up and down the corridor. you could get caught at any moment, but it was all so fucking thrilling.
at least they'd see he was yours. no one else's.
just as simon entered you, his hand back on your mouth to quiet your moan, the girl in the bathroom got caught by your manager. screams, tears, and apologies echoed from the closet.
that should have stopped simon; it was the reasonable thing to do. but fuck reason. you felt so good, so tight, so warm. and he'd been honest when he said your anger had turned him on.
fuck this job anyway.
so he kept going, and he was not gentle with it. over the weeks, he had known what you liked, how you liked it and how much you could handle. he had noticed your little thing for public intercourses. he was giving you the all package.
he kept on going with his filthy words in your ear, and by the way you clenched on his dick, he knew he was doing the right thing. fuck, this might be heaven.
"tsk, tsk, tsk," simon began as your voice grew louder and louder. "do you really want to get caught now?" he taunted, mocking you.
when you didn't answer, he kept pushing you further by taking his hand away from your lips, a stray of spit following the movement. it was filthy, just how he loved it. immediately, he felt you panic, your hand reaching for his to put it back.
"my dumb girl, still need me to do all the work," he added, nipping your neck as his grip on your face tightened, just like his hips. you were both close, and he knew it.
by now, nearly all the girls were just outside the closet, probably trying to sneak a peek at what was happening in the restroom. your manager's voice echoed through the space as he explained that this was a renowned establishment, and what your colleague had been doing was something reserved for lowlife places.
in your state, you were still grateful he was shouting, because if he hadn't, you were sure some of the girls would hear the sound of simon's thighs slapping against yours. just the thought of it pushed you over the edge, without warning.
"fuck." simon's grunts were unexpected, too. he usually had better control over himself, but you? you were just special.
you were slowly coming down from your high as simon gently rubbed you stomach, trying to calm your breathing as much as his.
"and where the fuck is the bouncer when you need him, aye?" your manager's voice boomed in the corridor. "no fucking customers, that's part of his fucking job!"
oh, she had been fucking a costumer.
"think i'm jobless again, lovie," simon whispered gently in your ear. "worth it," he continued, sweetly kissing your neck, the exact spot he had nipped just minutes before, surely leaving a mark.
yeah, fuck this job.
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lisalamona · 4 months ago
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Three Is Company
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. Summary: When they realize you are insecure about your place in your relationship, Odysseus and Penelope take matters into their own hands to show you that you are loved and cherished. . Pairing: poly! OdyPen x gn! Reader . Warnings: Insecurity about one's place in a relationship, swearing, physical intimacy (non-sexual), implications of sex if you squint . Notes:  Today's a rainy day, and I honestly just wanted to stay in bed all day, so this is kinda self indulgent. It doesn't help that I'm very hormonal and feeling lonely right now, I gotta cope somehow, y'know? Art taken from peachyytown's would you fall in love with me again animatic Hearts devider made by @saradika-graphics, taken from this post small rant at the end
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The pleasant warmth of the sun kissed your skin, its soft golden glow coaxing you from your slumber. Your eyelids fluttered open sluggishly, only to immediately squeeze shut again as the light pierced through your drowsiness. A grimace tugged at your lips as you tried to adjust, your body reluctant to leave the comfort of sleep.
Above you, leaves rustled softly, stirred by the gentle breeze drifting in through the window. The air smelled faintly salty, tinged with the scent of the nearby sea and the lingering coolness of the morning. The only other sounds in the room were the slow, rhythmic breaths of those still lost in sleep, accompanied by the occasional faint murmur from someone still deep in sleep.
For a moment, you simply laid there, caught between wakefulness and the tempting pull of sleep. The warmth of the sun made you sluggish, inviting you to close your eyes again and bask in its embrace like a lazy house cat. You reached up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes in a useless attempt to will yourself awake, but the weight of morning still clung to you.
Without warning, something small and light tumbled onto your face—a delicate olive branch, no longer than your hand, with just a few leaves clinging to its slender stem. Your breath hitched for a split second before realizing it wasn't some bug descending upon you, just a harmless gift from the tree. Exhaling softly, you plucked it from your face and held it up, turning it this way and that way against the golden sunlight. The leaves, a muted but still beautiful green, glowed at the edges where the light caught them, their veins intricate like tiny rivers stretching across a map. The branch itself was slightly twisted, its bark smooth and cool under your fingers, a quiet reminder of the tree standing over you.
A gentle shift beside you pulled you from your quiet observation. The sound of a body stirring, fabric rustling against skin, brought you back to reality—the present, the now. You turned your head and found them: Penelope and Odysseus, nestled together in peaceful slumber, their arms loosely wrapped around each other as if the gods themselves had sculpted them from love and devotion. The sunlight spilling through the window cast a golden glow over them, highlighting the curve of Penelope's cheek against Odysseus' chest, the way his fingers rested lightly on her arm. It was a scene so effortlessly perfect, so achingly serene, that for a moment, you could do nothing but stare.
No, not a scene—a masterpiece. They weren't just part of a work of art. They were the art itself. And you? You were merely the spectator. No matter how close you stood to it, how much you admired it, you would never be part of it.
The thought hit harder than expected, lodging itself somewhere deep in your chest. A reality check, sharp and sobering. If you weren't awake before, you sure as hell were now.
And so, you made your decision. You had a long day ahead of you, after all.
For a moment, your face fell as you took in the sight before you, drinking in what you would never have—one last time. You savored every detail, memorizing the way the golden morning light kissed their skin, the slow, steady rhythm of their breathing, the warmth that lingered in the air between them. You tried to etch it into your mind, as if holding onto the image would somehow let you carry it with you for the rest of the day.
With a quiet exhale, you steeled yourself. Time to move.
Slowly, you sat up, the weight of sleep still clinging to your limbs. You ran a hand over your face, brushing away stray hairs that had tangled in your lashes and wiping away the dried trail of drool on your chin with a small grimace. Stretching your arms above your head, you felt your back and shoulders crack with a satisfying pop, the stiffness of sleep ebbing away.
Careful not to disturb the two sleeping beside you, you peeled back the covers and slipped your legs over the edge of the bed. The floor was cool beneath your feet as you stood, taking a moment to regain your balance. Moving as quietly as possible, you gathered your discarded belongings from the night before, every movement deliberate, every breath held as if the very air itself could betray you.
The tall double doors leading to the rest of the palace stood before you, a silent threshold between the comfort of this room and the world beyond, where the quiet hum of servants beginning their morning routines barely registered in the distance. You reached for the door and carefully—so carefully—began to pull it open, just enough to slip through unnoticed.
The gods, it seemed, had other plans.
A groan—low, deep, and deafening in the once serene quiet—echoed through the chamber as the door resisted, protesting your escape like some cursed relic refusing to be moved. The sound was atrocious, like a rusted gate being wrenched open after centuries of abandonment. Alright—maybe that was an exaggeration, but to you, in that moment, it might as well have been a war horn announcing your departure. You winced, every muscle tensing as if you could will the sound away.
And then—
"Where are you going?"
Shit.
You froze.
Odysseus' voice, low and rough from sleep but sharp with instinct, locked you in place. Slowly, you turned your head to find him sitting up, one hand planted on the bed for support while the other remained on Penelope's arm. Even after all this time, even here, in the safety of his own home, his body still reacted like that of a soldier—trained to wake at the first hint of disturbance, a guard dog forever on edge. His tired eyes, heavy with both exhaustion and years of hardship, fixed on you, silently demanding an answer.
Beside him, Penelope stirred at the sudden movement, her brow creasing as she hovered between dreams and wakefulness.
Shit.
Swallowing hard, you finally forced the words out.
"I—I was—"
The sentence faltered before it could fully form, the weight of his gaze pressing down on you like a boulder. Your throat felt tight, your mind scrambling for an excuse, a justification—anything—but nothing sounded right. You cursed the damn door for betraying you, for dragging you into this conversation when you had so carefully tried to slip away unnoticed.
Odysseus didn't rush you. He simply watched, eyes never wavering, waiting with the same patience he carried in battle, as if you were an opponent yet to make your move.
Finally, you forced yourself to say it.
"I was just leaving."
A single brow lifted. His confusion was obvious, but something else lingered beneath it—something heavier, something that made your stomach twist.
"You always do this..." His voice was steady, but there was a hint of disappointment threading through it, subtle yet sharp enough to make you flinch. "You leave before we even get a chance to look at you in the morning."
You felt yourself shrink under his words, as if you could make yourself small enough to disappear entirely.
Before you could even think of how to respond, Penelope stirred, shifting against Odysseus as her eyes fluttered open. His gaze softened immediately, dropping to her as he ran a comforting hand along her arm, a silent reassurance that everything was fine. You felt another pang in your chest, a familiar ache that you had learned to swallow down like bitter medicine.
But in that moment, you were also grateful. Grateful that his eyes had left you, even if only for a second.
The thought of bolting—actually sprinting out of the room and retreating to the safety of your own—flashed across your mind. But before you could act on it, Penelope's gaze settled on you, sharp despite the haze of sleep. Now, two pairs of eyes pinned you in place.
"What's happening?" Her voice was low, laced with quiet concern.
"They were just leaving." Odysseus answered, not looking away from you.
"Why?" Penelope's questioning glance flickered between you and her husband, her brows knitting together.
Odysseus let out a breath, the sound barely audible but weighted with something unspoken. "I ask myself the same thing."
Their gazes searched yours, trying to find something—anything—that would give them an answer. You did everything in your power to avoid meeting their eyes. But there was something about them, about the way they waited, that hurt more than if they had just let you go. Their patience, their quiet understanding—it burned more than any harsh words ever could.
You didn't want patience. You didn't want kindness. Because when it was inevitably taken away, when reality came crashing down and reminded you of your place, it would hurt a thousand times worse.
You just wanted to get out of there.
"So?"
You swallowed thickly, forcing down everything else you wanted to say.
"I thought you two would want to be alone when you woke up."
The words were barely above a whisper, strained and hollow, but they heard them. You could tell by the way their expressions shifted, by the way their patience turned into something softer—something that made it even worse.
"Why would you think that, darling?" Penelope's voice was gentle, too gentle, and it cut deeper than she could ever know.
Desperate to escape, you blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
"Why would you? I mean, look at you—" You gestured vaguely, frustration tightening in your chest. "What more use could I possibly serve?"
Their faces fell, their warmth dimming into something softer, something unbearably gentle. The way they looked at you—like you were something precious, something loved—made your stomach twist. You mistook it for pity, and that only made your frustration grow.
"...Dear." Penelope was the first to move. Slowly, deliberately, she freed herself from the covers, approaching you with the careful grace of someone stepping toward a wild animal. Like if she made one wrong move you'd bolt.
You hated being treated like that. But the worst part was knowing why they did it.
And yet, you couldn't stop yourself from keeping your walls up. Even if it only made the feeling worse.
She stopped just before you, close enough that the warmth of her skin reached yours. You tried—really tried—to look away, to avoid those deep, knowing eyes, but your body betrayed you. You met her gaze despite yourself, and she held it, searching for something in you, something you weren't sure you had anymore.
Then, gently, she reached up and cupped your cheek.
You wanted to pull away. You should have pulled away. But your body refused, leaning into the warmth before your mind even caught up. You cursed yourself for the lapse and forced yourself to still.
"Is that what you think?" Her voice was quiet, almost pained. "That we just use you and then cast you aside? That you're disposable?"
Her thumb brushed over your cheek, feather-light. Every second, it became harder to keep yourself together.
"It's hard not to." You admitted, voice barely above a whisper.
Her brows furrowed. "Why do you think so lowly of yourself?"
You scoffed, the disbelief bubbling up before you could stop it. "Of myself?"
"Yes." She said simply.
Then, with unwavering certainty, she added, "Why would we ever do that to someone as brilliant, as capable, as extraordinary as you?" She tilted her head, watching as her words struck something deep within you. "We are the lucky ones. If anyone should be afraid of not being good enough, it's us."
Your breath caught.
"...You don't mean that." You murmured, barely holding back the sting in your eyes. You refused to cry. You would not cry.
But she only held your gaze, unwavering. "I mean it with my whole heart."
Before you could respond, Odysseus' voice cut through the quiet.
"Come here."
Both you and Penelope turned. He was still sitting on the bed, watching you carefully. He patted the empty space beside him—the one Penelope had left behind just moments ago. His expression was unreadable, a strange mix of exasperation and something softer, something that told you he wanted you to understand.
Penelope withdrew her hand from your face but held it out to you instead, giving you the choice.
You hesitated.
Every instinct screamed at you to turn away, to run before this kindness could turn to something else. But despite your mind's protests, despite the tightness in your chest, you reached out.
Your fingers barely brushed hers before she closed the distance, wrapping her hand around yours and giving a reassuring squeeze. It was cool against your skin, soothing in a way you despised—because it felt good. Because it was comforting, and you weren't sure if you deserved it.
Without a word, she led you back to the bed.
Odysseus gestured for you to sit, so you did. Then, he motioned for you to come closer, leaving space beside you for Penelope. You hesitated again, but once more, you complied.
The moment you were close enough, Odysseus moved.
He pulled you into him, arms wrapping securely around your waist. The suddenness of it made you flinch, but he didn't let go. His hold was steady, warm—unshakable in the way only Odysseus could be.
"...Why?"
It was all you could manage. You didn't understand—couldn't understand. Why wouldn't they just let you go? Why were they holding on so tightly? Were they toying with you, messing with your head? Was it pity?
Odysseus exhaled sharply, his grip tightening ever so slightly. "Why?" He repeated, incredulous. "Because we love you." He said, voice firm, unwavering. "Both of us. And I need you to understand that." His voice was rough, almost biting, but not out of anger—out of desperation. He needed you to understand. "How many times do we have to say it before you finally hear us?"
You swallowed hard, staring at Odysseus. His mismatched eyes—one deep brown, the other an almost stormy blue—locked onto yours, fierce with conviction. You had always found those eyes striking, but now, in this moment, they were inescapable, pinning you down with their sheer intensity.
Penelope nodded, her voice softer but just as firm. "We love you."
"You keep saying that..." Your voice wavered, cracking slightly under the weight of emotions you had no idea how to process.
"And we'll keep saying it," The king said, unwavering, "until you believe it."
And just like that, the dam broke.
The floodgates opened, and you couldn't hold it in anymore. A choked sob escaped your lips as the tears spilled freely down your cheeks, and you clung to Odysseus as though letting go would shatter you completely. He held you tighter, his grip steady, anchoring.
You felt Penelope's gentle hand rubbing slow, soothing circles up and down your back. The warmth of her touch seeped into you, grounding you, holding you together. You didn't see the way she and Odysseus exchanged a glance over your shoulder, but you could feel it—the silent understanding between them, the unspoken promise that they weren't letting go.
Slowly, carefully, they guided you back onto the bed, their hands never leaving you.
The cool sheets met your skin as they followed you down, their warmth pressing against you from either side. Penelope cupped your cheek again, this time brushing away the damp trails your tears had left behind. As she pulled back, your body instinctively followed, turning toward her completely. She giggled softly at your unconscious need for her touch and kept her hand there, thumb gently stroking your cheek.
Behind you, Odysseus adjusted himself to the new position, his strong arms slipping around your waist and flattening against your stomach, his body molding to yours. You felt the warmth of him pressing against you, the weight of his presence grounding. His chin came to rest in the crook of your neck, his beard grazing your skin—coarse yet strangely comforting. The ticklish sensation made you shiver, something he definitely noticed.
Your body was betraying you in the best way possible.
The walls you had so carefully built, so desperately maintained, began to crumble into dust. And yet... even with their warmth surrounding you, even with their hands anchoring you here, something inside you remained hesitant.
Your expression must have given you away, because Odysseus spoke first, his voice low, right against your ear.
"What's wrong, love?" His breath fanned against your skin, sending another set of shivers down your spine.
You swallowed, trying to steady yourself. "It just... doesn't feel right."
Penelope's brows knitted together slightly. "What do you mean?"
You forced yourself to take a deep breath, bracing for the vulnerability that would inevitably follow. "I... I don't feel like I belong here." Your voice was barely above a whisper. "You two have known and loved each other for so long. Sometimes I can't help but think that all of this was some kind of mistake. That I'm just... here for a little while, until it's time for me to go."
You broke eye contact, unable to bear the weight of Penelope's gaze any longer. It was a nervous habit you had.
"Hey." Her fingers gently caught your chin, tilting your face back toward her. "Look at me."
You did—despite the fear curling in your stomach.
"You are not a mistake, darling." She murmured, her eyes full of something too vast, too deep, to be anything but love. "We love you so much. Every time you leave, we pray for you to come back to us."
Odysseus hummed in agreement, pressing a soft kiss against your shoulder. "And you're not temporary." He added. "You're ours. A part of our lives now. That's not changing."
"...How?" Your voice came out small, uncertain.
Penelope smiled, running a hand through your hair as she spoke. "Because you make our lives better, just by being in them. Your laugh brings us joy, your presence makes even the hardest days feel lighter."
Odysseus' hand slid lower, resting on your hip, his thumb tracing slow, comforting circles over it. Not in a way that held any ulterior motive—just grounding, steadying. "You've become our everything, love," He murmured. "and we won't let go."
Then, before you could think of a response, Penelope began peppering your face with light, affectionate kisses—your cheeks, your forehead, the corner of your lips. You let out a surprised giggle, the sound bubbling up before you could stop it.
Odysseus followed suit, pressing playful kisses against the side of your neck, down to your shoulder and back again. His beard brushed against your skin, the sensation sending another fit of laughter through you as you squirmed slightly in their arms.
Penelope grinned and pressed one final kiss to the tip of your nose.
Odysseus leaned in close, his voice warm with certainty. "You are loved."
Penelope smiled. "Is that understood?"
You hesitated for only a moment before nodding, whispering, "...Yes."
And this time, you let yourself believe it.
For once, you didn't fight the warmth surrounding you. You didn't push it away.
You sank into it.
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. Notes: All the energy I had left went into me trying to make this, so I'm gonna rant for a bit: Estoy tratando de encontrar mi estilo de escritura y la verdad es que me estĂĄ empezando a frustrar. En general, me gustĂł cĂłmo quedĂł este, y espero poder trasladar el estilo a ambivalence, pero esa historia ya estĂĄ mĂĄs inconsistente que la puta madre. Alguien ayĂșdeme, porfa 😭 no sĂ©, es como que hay dĂ­as en los que escribo la cosa mĂĄs magnĂ­fica que escribĂ­ en mi vida, y al dĂ­a siguiente escribo dos frasecitas de mierda 😭
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